#fucking hell I’ve seen people argue he can’t be alcoholic bc he’s a good father. do you fucking hear yourself

[gumdefense]

My experience with this fandom is very positive like honestly compared to others I’ve been in, there’s little bigotry (not saying there’s none but I’m used to other fandoms being definitely worse) and to me it feels welcoming and nice. But something that really made me go woahhh lots of people have unchecked bias here was the whole conversation about Phoenix’s potential alcoholism. Bc Jesus Christ some of you really aren’t normal about alcoholics.

[asotin]

what're your thoughts on castlevania (the netflix show, not the game, ive never played the game) what do you like, what don't you like? make it as long as you want. i don't care if i have to scroll for 5 minutes. go feral (personally trevor is extremely hot and i would like to date sypha. i'm not really into alucard's whole sickly victorian child aesthetic, yknow?)

oh god this is way too long, but you did say to make it as long as i want, and i have a lot of thoughts that i need to inflict on the world

i played two castlevania games, both from the nintendo gameboy era, so please don’t get mad at me, gamers

details below the cut, but since i’ll be talking about season three, i need to preface this with content warnings for mentions of: graphic violence, rape and sexual violence, racism, and the holocaust

before i get into it, i usually don’t go for alucard-type characters either, but knowing that he was redesigned to be bishounen sexy specifically because the boring, middle aged man look he originally had in the games wasn’t appealing makes me enjoy him. and he’s fun with trevor and sypha

do like:

the voice acting

it’s all good. i can’t think of any characters whose voices were awkward or fit poorly. they don't make sypha’s va use the standard flat affect or false high voice women tend to be assigned, trevor sounds suitably worn out but not monotone, and alucard sounds exhausted but in a sexy way

and the spanish dub is killer, arguably superior

the animation & design

it isn’t full-on artsy, but it’s definitely got a distinctive style that’s easy to look at. the color use and effects are gorgeous. it’s a story set in the medieval era, and the mixture of desaturated and oversaturated elements works so well with that

dracula’s castle and the belmont bunker aren't revolutionary in design, but they didn't need to be. they're suitably creepy and empty, and i enjoyed them

the monsters were unique enough to have obvious different types, and the scene where a monster commits blasphemy in a church by accusing a priest of committing blasphemy was good writing

lisa

she shows up to a stranger’s spooky home and scolds him for being rude. she really looked an ancient vampire in the face, told him he had no manners, then had a kid with him. what a phenomenal woman. 11/10, no notes

“start with me, and i’ll start with you.” you know what? i’d fall in love, too

dracula

this ancient, unfriendly vampire let a human woman walk into his home and tell him he’s got no manners. and that made him fall in love with her. just like that. lisa walked in and handed him his ass, and dracula thought “oh i love her”. and when she was killed (more on this in the bad section), he raised literal hell to destroy the world for doing it

speaking of lisa being killed, it fucks me up that it happened because she convinced him to leave the castle and experience the world. he left her alone to see what she loved so much, only to come back and find that the people he’d come to like- the people lisa had loved so much it drove her to help in a way that got her killed- had burned her at the stake. i love a good tragedy, and that’s good tragedy

the way he weeps when he has to fight alucard?? during a showdown in their home?? the “i must already be dead” moment in alucard’s childhood bedroom??? when he speaks to lisa about killing their boy, her greatest gift to him??? poetic cinema.

the trio’s dynamic

three bisexuals with two total brain cells and only alucard bothers using them. incredible

i went so hard for this ot3. it's right there and so good

sypha

she initially seems to be assigned the role of the adult™️ ie she's the only woman and gets stuck being responsible, but surprise! she’s just as annoying and dumb as alucard and trevor. she dropped a castle she didn’t understand on the ground and didn’t think too hard about it. then she argued about breaking it. i love her

if we don’t get an ot3, then she needs to have a dumb gf

alucard

he's got a stupidly low neckline and lower pants. they really leaned into ayami kojima’s redesign, as they should have. his little curl annoys me, though. why the fuck does he have a random section of hair that’s like three inches long when the rest is shoulder length or longer? love that he really looks like lisa

if you say he's canonically bisexual and polyamorous, no he isn't. yes he is. no he isn't :)

trevor

disgusting. a nasty man whose appearance mirrors his state of mind. he's 50 mental illnesses in a dirty jacket and his coping mechanism is… alcohol? maybe? he’s a mess, and i dig it

him trying his trick of kneeing alucard in the balls during their fight? and finding out it doesn't work? (which…… why doesn't it……?) juvenile but suitable

hector

his love of animals makes him my favorite. normally, i won’t touch anything with this much animal death, but i’m willing to set that aside because hector loves them so much. he’s so sweet and kind, and he loves his monster pets

yes he sided with dracula and has some really fucked up ideas about what constitutes humane treatment of people, and yet i love him. 11/10, but i have a lot of notes

isaac

i support him, including his murdering and his decision to support dracula. dracula throwing him out of the castle to save him was so cruel in that it was an attempt at kindness from a man who hated the whole world, but it was against isaac’s wishes

his time with the captain was great

idk enough about islam to know if he's portrayed correctly and haven’t seen any complaints, but given the show’s track record……… i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not great

the forging

very cool. fresh and interesting! hector creating pet friends is cute and heartbreaking. love isaac for his dedication to reducing, reusing, and recycling

season 2’s big battle with all those vampires

the new version of “bloody tears” is phenomenal

this goes back to the animation, but listen……. it's so good. i loved the smoke vampire, and alucard’s fluid wolf transformations. his flying sword looked really good, and incorporating them together? super good to watch. and trevor’s whip?

the type and level of violence are suitable for what it is. it would be weird for a gritty show like this to be bloodless, but i don't think it would work if it were bloody to the extent of a slasher. it's also more clean violence, if that makes sense. you don’t linger just to look at gore; you see it because stabbing someone spills blood. the games weren't about extended, gritty scenes of realistic murder, so the show sticking with quick, slice and dice type fights fit with what i remembered of them

please watch this fight if you don’t remember it or haven’t seen it (part 1, part 2)

trevor’s whips

trevor’s weapons don’t follow the physics of normal whips, and they shouldn't. they’re heavily stylized and clearly a fantasy weapon, but they still have rules that they (mostly) have to obey. his morning star-whip hybrid in particular is so good 

it’s easy to follow, too. a lot of times, speedy weapons disappear, which is an understandable effect but one i find boring because there’s nothing for me to do. i’m just sitting on my ass with nothing to do

trevor’s whips don’t disappear. they’re fast, but you can always see them. and they have weight! you can see them slow down and gain speed. i don’t need physics to be real; i want movement to be pleasing, and that’s exactly what i get with the whips

don’t like:

fridging lisa

she could have been kidnapped (possibly make dracula think she was dead bc people want to lure out her scary demon husband, idk), then s2 could have ended with her and dracula reuniting as he died. she and alucard go on a trip together to attempt to make amends for the pain dracula wrought in lisa’s name. orrrr she dies a tragic death with him and we’re left to hope that they find each other in the afterlife. do vampires get to go to the afterlife? can alucard reintegrate? can he be happy with his new friends? or will he go back to his crypt and sleep again? will he ever be rediscovered? if so, what will he do? deep questions. i would prefer to cogitate on these instead of experiencing the shitshow that is s3

season 3

they should have ended it with dracula’s death. the quality of storytelling goes down immediately. just plummets. i’m sure there were problems in the first two seasons, but this one is so bad, i genuinely can’t remember

but i may as well get specific, so here we go:

abandoning alucard

trevor and sypha leave their friend alone in his childhood home where he just killed his father. where they helped him kill his father who, as i’ve said too many times, raised literal hell to get revenge for people burning alucard’s mother to death

yt they don’t talk about alucard. they don’t make any plans to touch base ever again. trevor’s entire family got killed. sypha’s culture, from which she’s now estranged, is family-centric. if ever two people should give a shit about alucard and know why alucard shouldn’t be left on his own, it's them

so what the hell is going on?

trevor and sypha’s relationship

look. it could be good. it would be better with alucard but they could be together and it could work fine

but this……….

trevor hates what they're doing. he hates traveling around and fighting. he's clearly tired and deeply depressed

sypha not only doesn't care enough to address it (did they forget the first two seasons?? sypha is annoying partly because she doesn't stop poking people) she might not even notice? yes, she's having fun, but trevor is basically dead on his feet in front of her

racism

hector, sumi, and taka all got done dirty 

sumi and taka

i hate the way they died. i hate that i’m certain that the plot won’t bring japan back into the narrative (or if it does, i don’t trust it not to be shitty). i hate the fact that by killing them off, i’m not going to get any more of them. they were interesting!!

speaking of the japanese vampire: the biphobia, arguably, given what happens with alucard

the addition of sexual violence

i don’t need or want lenore. if all she’d done was manipulate hector, i could have lived with that. she’s a villain, so she does bad things. that’s the point. but what she did was a massive escalation. we hadn’t had any sexual violence, and then the last few episodes gave us 

tumblr feminists who love her for how she treated hector need to be quarantined until their brain worms have been cured

everything that happens to hector

what was this shit? why did i open my netflix app and tap castlevania and find them making this man walk around naked in the cold to torture him? and starving him? he got manipulated, degraded, chained up, collared like an animal, and raped. and why? to show us how bad lenore is? that the other vampires are bad because they let her do it? i didn’t sign up for this

the holocaust reference

the imagery at the end of s3 when it’s revealed that the judge has been killing people he’s decided are undeserving to live and collecting their shoes in that barn was chillingly close to images of shoes taken from victims of the holocaust. there's no reason to invoke the holocaust here. it’s unnecessary and in bad taste

[coveredinsweetpea]

jEsus. I'm listening to Why by Bazzi and its a mood? Like not following the song but an imagine w sweet pea trying to push you away bc he doesnt know y u would like someone like him, so homeboy stopped persuing bc he sees how her 'friends' (out of spite bc he's a 'player' that hasn't paid them any mind but damn sure set his sights on u.) n fam judge + poke at their possible relationship and he low-key thinks they're right or at least that y/n does deep down. But she don't? && let's his ass know.

I suck at angst, I’m sorry, I tried! 💛-He wasn’t ashamed of himself. Never had been and thought he’d never be, but frankly, right now, he had no idea how he was feeling. Confusion maybe? Who knows. It’s been eating him up night after night yet he never said anything, and maybe now it was time to let it all out. But how? When it came to his less than perfect upbringing, questionable antics and unhealthy habits, Sweet Pea never felt like he needed to hold back. He let you all in, and he felt safe and at peace. The small fight that ignited when the topic of meeting your parents came up, should’ve been a red flag, but you two just took it as a warning sign and considering your way of thinking, you just walked past It, never giving it a second glance. When your dad almost threw Sweet Pea out of the house the night you invited him over for dinner, put thoughts in his head.“Fuck it” you scoffed as you walked outside the house, “Fuck him and his stupid misconceptions, I know you, I know you probably don’t care what my dad thinks, but please know that I don’t care either” “I know, doll” Pea sighed, kissing the top of your head. The lie slipped right from between his perfect lips a little bit too easily, too bad you were too blind to catch it.“He isn’t right, bub” you said softly as you took his hand and started walking down the street. Your father’s words echoed inside your head, ‘Y/n get this thug out of my house’ and they stung a bit, “If he was right, and you really were all those things, I wouldn’t be able to love you like I do now”“I love you too, angel. I appreciate it”You thought that was the end of it, but you had no idea how many nights he spent inside the wyrm drowning his liver in gallons of alcohol with the hopes of getting your dad’s cruel words out of his head. You weren’t there to see it and you didn’t have anyone to tell you. You knew Toni and Fangs. Met them briefly a couple of times, but you didn’t take things further. You had your own North side friends, friends who this time failed to have your back.“What the hell are you doing here?” Veronica snapped, seeing Sweet Pea leaning against his parked bike right outside Pop’s.“Hey calm down” he defended himself, throwing his arms in the air, trying to keep things civilized, “I’m here to pick Y/n up”“What?” Archie yelled, turning around to face the shop just in time to see you come out the front door. “I thought we told you to break up with him!” he growled, walking towards you.“And I told you to mind your own fucking business” you scoffed walking past him and to Sweet Pea’s bike. As if it wasn’t obvious in his eyes, the veins protruding along his neck made it fairly clear how hard he was trying to keep his calm.“Y/n, we can drive you home” Veronica said softly, realizing that yelling at you was going to do no good.“It’s ok, V” you smiled, as Sweet Pea hoped on his bike, biting hard into his lower lip in order to contain himself, “I’ll see you in school tomorrow”She tried to argue some more, but Archie pulled her back. You stood until you saw them get in their car and then jumped behind Sweet Pea.“I didn’t even get to tell you hi” you whined kissing his cheek the best you could.“Hi angel” he smiled, looking at you over his shoulder, “See? I kept my calm”. He sounded like a kid bragging to their parents about getting a good grade, and your heart melted a bit.“You could’ve told them off for all I care” you said, wrapping your arms around his middle, waiting for him to start the engine.“My place?” he asked following a heavy sigh.“Yes!” you exclaimed happily, tightening your hold around him.This is where it all started and now that you thought about it, you had no idea how you didn’t see it. All the things your friends called him, accused him of and blamed him for, aren’t easy for anyone to look over. How you managed to think he wasn’t bothered by these things was beyond you now.“I’m sorry” you breathed, gripping tightly into the edge of a t-shirt you stole from him ages ago.“It’s not your fault, babe” “Don’t! Stop! Don’t babe me after you told me you want to break up with me!” you growled, falling onto your back on his couch, “How is this happening?”“Listen, it’s for the best-” he tried to get a word in, but you stopped him.“The best? For who? For me? You think it’s ok to tell me you still love me but that you still want to break up with me? It makes me feel crazy because I can’t comprehend that” “Y/n” he sighed standing up and extending a hand for you to take so you could follow him to your feet. After you did, he continued, “I do, I love you, with all my heart. It flutters when I say these words to you. Every fucking time. And it’s because I care and I hear and I see things and-”“You shouldn’t give half a crap what people say-” you tried to interrupt him.“Listen to me” he added, his voice 10 times calmer than yours, “It’s been weeks. I haven’t heard something this morning and then made up my mind. I’ve been thinking about it, for quite a long time now. I’m not saying your family and your friends are right when they say I’m a low life. I don’t see myself as that and someone like them isn’t gonna change my mind. But even if I’m not a thug like they say, I’m still not what you need. I’m fine, I’m just not good for you”“You know… my mom thinks I’m with you just as an act of rebellion” you said walking away from him. The amount of emotion his words dumped on you were too much for you to bear right now, so you found a different way to get your point across, “Because that’s all that she knows about you, just like my dad. And Archie and every one. I don’t see it as that because I know why I’m with you, and don’t make me go all sappy now by enlisting every reason”“I don’t want you to do that” “Yeah, but do I have to?” “No, babe, that’s not the point”You looked at him dumbfounded, “What? Wasn’t that the whole point? That you don’t know why I’m with you?”“My head is spinning” he whispered defeated, plopping back down on the couch.“Pea, you make me feel safe in the dangerous side of town at 3am and then two hours later you’re laying in my arms begging me to play with your hair. I love you because you’re honest, and you’re you, and I know you. And you know me like no one else does so just please, if you really want me to leave, please let it be because of me or because of you and not because of someone else”As you finished talking, silence settled. To be honest, you regretted the way you decided to end your rant. You wish you hadn’t told him to break up with you if he wanted, but you had to give him that. It was only fair.“I don’t want you to leave, Y/n” he said eventually, “But I’m gonna try to change for you, and we need to work things out with your parents at least”“You don’t have to change” you countered, sitting down beside him.Sweet Pea turned to look at you, his eyes holding such a heavy coat of pain, you almost broke at the sight of them, “Now I feel stupid for trying to do this”“Don’t feel stupid” you said, grabbing his hands, “I should’ve seen everything happen too, I don’t know how I didn’t realize how they could affect you”“Not your fault” “Kinda is, but let’s just let it go for now, please”“I’m sorry I got you down” he whispered, cupping your cheek in his palm“It’s not you” you shook your head, before leaning in to kiss him.

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

So....it was my friend’s 21st birthday party last night...

- I got there and Raychel was immediately like “Molly are you planning on drinking?” and I was like “Yes duh” and she, deep-voiced, goes “Good. You deserve it. You deserve the world and I deserve to see you get it”

- I forgot that I hate chocolate vodka and got a spiked milkshake at the restaurant

- People were just. screaming about anime. Everyone else in the place must have hated us

- “the asshole is my enemy and needs to be punished.”

- “So...my girlfriend like, bought chloroform?” “Have fun with that.”

- I literally forgot to get her a present whoops

- birthday girl, on her third drink: “Listen I know we’re going  back to my house to drink after this but don’t worry!!! I’m not gonna get that drunk tonight, it won’t be bad”

- l m a o

- we get to her house, immediately start doing shots. I hadn’t touched anything yet bc there was a bottle of electric blue shit and I knew damn well that was going into my body but I was told to wait until people got back with sodas for mixers

- but this guy Patrick who I went all thru grade school with goes “Molly, you’re a real man”, hands me a bottle of whiskey and was like “I feel like my entire childhood was leading up to drinking whiskey with you” and honestly I couldn’t argue??? I felt that way too

- a wholesome experience I'm sure all of our old teachers would be so proud to see us finally bonding and getting along lmao

- Jacqui wanted some whiskey and we’re like “you had two margarita’s at the restaurant maybe not” but she didn’t listen and after she took a shot I had to hide the bottle from her to stop her from having any more lol

- Jacqui, drunk “Mollllly you’re my wiiiiife!”

- Raychel (bd girl) also drunk, across the room “But she’s my alpha husband what the fuck!!!!”

- I was not fucking looking when Raychel’s drink was mixed but it was like. Emerald fucking green. I know it had the sour apple shit vodka in it but idk what else. And then they added food dye and cake glitter so it turned into a galaxy drink holy shit

- Jacqui mixed the blue stuff with sprite and I took a sip and it tasted amazing??? So then I poured my own and I don’t know if I used too much alcohol or too much soda but it tasted like draino I literally had a brief Heather Chandler moment

- Kept drinking it but that’s besides the point

- Now, we need to talk about my alcohol tolerance. It’s high. It’s strong.

- So almost everyone else was drunk out of their asses and I’m sitting there like???? What the fuck???? I want to be intoxicated???? This is hell???? Like at this point I had to have had??? A total six or so shots of vodka and the whiskey and I was FINE and mad about that lmao

- That’s my thing it takes me forever to get drunk and then I get really drunk and blessedly never have hangovers so I can’t really complain I guess?

- But when this happens the logical next step is to drink more lmao Raychel started insisting I share her ridiculous drink with her

- That thing....tasted like everything Jesus died to save us from.

- Also I think I ended up drinking more of it than she did lmao

- Pocket full of sunshine started playing and half the room got turnt while the other half watched in confusion

- I kept trying to take selfies with Raychel and in ever one??? She looks inhumanely gorgeous???? And I look like a goblin???? What the fuck

- At this point I was finally getting drunk so Raychel gave me her phone going “you have my favorite face in the world take so many selfies for me!!!” and....bitch I did. I had that phone for about three hours, barely put it down, loved every single one of my angles for the first time in my life, and I honestly do not know how many selfies of me she’s going to find later lmao

- “I once made an art piece out of my pubic hair but like I lost it in someone’s apartment”

- Garrett, who’s apparently never drank before, whisper-yelling in horror “I took a lot of shots....On purpose!!!! ....I’m sorry,”

- He got very wasted very fast and then went upstairs to sleep lmao

- Raychel started crying telling me I was pretty and I was like “Thanks but you do this when you’re sober so I don’t believe you??” and then her friend who barely talks to me comes over and is like “Honey listen I’m the least drunk person her and you’re gorgeous” and it eventually spiraled into “Molly, CHRISTINA AGUILERA thinks she’s ugly. Lady GaGa- BRITTNEY SPEARS CLEARLY HAS SELF ESTEEM ISSUES EVEN THO SHES A FUCKING SEX ICON. So you’re- OH my God!!! Adam Lambert probably thinks he’s the ugliest fucker in the world!!!!! So you’re beautiful!!!!” and like honestly? Feeling good rn

- To counter this I spent like half the night telling Patrick’s shy and quiet girlfriend Maura that she was the prettiest person I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t leave this poor girl alone she was adorable omfg

- Raychel, the one who ‘wasn’t going to get that drunk’: *spinning wildly, holding 13 conversations at once, constantly yelling about the pubic bone and the vulva, crying about plastic babies in a glitter tube*

- UPDATE AS IM TYPING THIS: Raychel has announced that she found a total of 438 pictures and videos on her phone OH MY GOD @PAST ME

- And that’s only on her phone I got a lot on my phone too and other people had cameras out lord knows how many were taken

- So when I’m drunk I feel a little lightheaded but ultimately fine until I like move a limb and it’s like ‘holy shit my head isn’t connect to my body’ like. so fucking dizzy. At one point I stood and was like ‘who wants to bet I can’t walk to the bathroom’ and someone decided to walk me there lmao

- Someone made glitter bombs out of eggs and we threw them in the street while angrily screaming things like “I LOVE MY FAMILY!” and “WHY DOES EVERY ACTUALLY NICE GUY I MEET HAVE A SMALL DICK!”

- Raychel gave me a tiny ball of clay and I really treasured it but then it broke apart I was so sad

- “Burt Macklin is a fucking bitch!” “Don’t talk to the kitten that way he’s the prettiest cat I’ve ever seen!”

- Jacqui got a slice of cake and then remembered she cannot eat when she’s drunk so I ended up eating. just a lot of cake

- My Little Pony songs were playing on the tv???? I’m still not sure how that got started

- Screaming about Alaska Thunderfuck

- I bet Patrick he’d be the first to puke but he left and I think I threw up in the bathroom???? I’m not 100% positive I did but the fact that I have doubt means he wins unfortunately

- There was one guy there I don’t think I actually got his name but he gave me a great hug when he was leaving. You know when like a bird lands on you and you feel like you’re special and have been chosen???? That’s what the hug felt like lmao

- Someone pulled buffalo chicken dip out of thin air which is my weakness and she told me to have some but like. I put one dipped chip in my mouth and knew it was a mistake. I felt it in my stomach. I hadn’t even fucking swallowed yet it was literally just in my mouth and my body was like ‘bitch can you take a break and let me live!’ omfg

- Since Raychel finally dumped her boyfriend I had no qualms about telling her I didn’t like him and she asked why and I was like “he tried to mansplain Greek mythology to me and he wasn’t even right!!!” and for some reason that made at least five people loose it.

- At the stroke of midnight, Raychel, pointing to the crucifix in the living room. “JESUS....HE’S HERE. HE’S ALIVE.”

- At some point I apparently started drunk texting a few of my friend’s that weren’t there w h o o p s

- Me, trying to explain myself to them this morning “You know, that Easter wine just really gets to me”

- I was stuck in the ‘coming down’ stage for like a million years. Like, still clearly drunk but Not As Bad

- And I was trying to get better before I texted my mother for a ride so like. I spent so long chugging water. I literally don’t think I've ever had that much water in my entire life. Raychel’s father and sister kept getting it for me as I continuously told them they were life savers. But it barely helped omfg

- Was definitely still a little wobbly when I woke up for water at like 6:30 but all good now and the hangover skipped over my soul @my genetic makeup bless you

- Fun night though!!! But now I’m off to an Easter family party so...we’ll see how that goes lol