#fucking game that we love because without supporting it it won't be able to support itself

[shaxxophone]

I'm really sick and tired of how doomsday it is everywhere that you look for anything destiny related aside from tumblr. I'm really glad that the folks here are overall really chill of things. Like. No, this is not the end of destiny.... but if the fan base keeps treating it like doomsday every single time bungie so much as breathes or blinks then yeah it might very well turn into doomsday.

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 1

Summary: The plan that night was just to have fun and try to forget. And Valeria (or Val as everyone calls her) did forget. But what she didn't expect, was to do it with someone younger than her. Someone who also happened to be a football player, and from her team's sworn enemy: Pedri González.

Little warning: there is an age gap in this story. Throughout it I don't mention any exact number, but in my head she was like 28/29.

Author’s note: Me, a Real Madrid supporter, writing for a Barça player? Yep, it's happening 😅 It all started as a joke with a friend who is currenlty obsessed with him and other Barça players, then I got carried away... and here we are. Hope you like it, and thank you for reading! 💜

Next chapter

Masterlist

"Stop checking that photo, Val."

"I wasn't checking it" I say, quickly putting my phone down.

"Of course you weren't" Silvia says, rolling her eyes. "We are here to forget about all that, remember? Let's focus on it."

"Ok..." I sigh, taking a sip of my beer.

"Great. What do you think about them?" Silvia says, nodding towards the group of men to my left.

"Eww, no."

"And what about… them? The ones ordering a drink. They look quite decent."

"And posh."

"They do, don't they? And we are trying to forget about a posh guy, so they aren't an option. What about… Oh! Them!" she says, nodding towards someone to my right. "I thought the cute one had left, but looks like he only went to the bathroom or something."

"Who?"

"That guy over there, the one with the Adidas t-shirt. He hasn't been able to keep his eyes from you since we arrived."

"Yeah, sure" I snort.

"He is looking at you again."

"Silvia!" 

"What?"

"Why did you wave at him?"

"Why not? He is really cute. His friend too."

"I don't trust you and what you find… fuck" I say as I turn around.

"He's a hottie, uh?" she smirks.

"I know who that is."

"You do? Is that why he has been looking at you?"

"I don't know him in person, but I know who he is."

"What?" Silvia asks with a confused look.

"That's…"

"Hello" a male voice says next to us. 

"Hi" she replies with a big smile. 

"I hope we aren't bothering you. I saw you waving and I just…"

"No, it's fine. It's fine. My friend here was actually telling me that she knows you!"

"Silvia!" I hiss.

"What? You do know him, don't you? Though she said something weird about not doing it in person. Do you follow each other on Instagram or something?"

"I wish" he chuckles. 

"Ok, now I am completely lost."

"Silvia, you are talking to Pedri."

"Who?"

"The Barça player" I sigh.

"Pedri? I don't remember hearing you talk about a Pedri."

"Because when I've done it, I haven't said nice things about him."

"Ouch!" he laughs, reminding us that he is standing next to us.

"I'm a Real Madrid supporter. Sorry" I shrug, finally daring to look at him. But he doesn't look like the Pedri I remembered from our last game against Barça. He seems to have gotten rid of the stupid haircut, and looks like he is trying to grow a beard. He looks less like the kid he actually is, and more like a man, kind of… attractive? And the way he is looking at me, the smirk on his face… Fuck. He is attractive. 

"Bro, she is gonna be a tough one" his friend laughs. 

"You are gonna have to let me buy you a drink. I won't see the end of it if you say no" Pedri says, trying to give me puppy eyes.

"Are you allowed to buy alcohol?" I ask.

"Why wouldn't he? I see football players getting drunk all the time" Silvia says.

"It's not because of his job. It's because of his age."

"What?" she laughs.

"How old do you think he is?"

"I don't know… Twenty something?" 

"Without the something" I say, crossing my arms over my chest. "He is a kid."

"Really?"

"I am not a kid" he replies, also crossing his arms and trying to look offended.

"Yes, you are. And I don't accept alcohol from kids."

"Oh, c'mon. As if you were an old lady or something" he laughs. "You can't be older than 25."

"Oh my God" I laugh, Silvia joining me. 

"What? What is so funny?" he asks.

"You" I say, trying to contain my giggles. "You are so innocent."

"Now that is something funny" his friend chuckles.

"Ok, fine. You aren't 25" Pedri says. "26 then?"

"I'm too old for you. Let's just leave it there."

"Well, I don't care about how old you are" he shrugs.

"But I do."

"Oh, c'mon, it's just a drink and a chat. There is nothing illegal about that."

"But I support Real Madrid and you play for Barça. I'm pretty sure that is illegal."

"Another excuse" he says, rolling his eyes.

"It isn't an excuse, it's a fact."

"It is an excuse" he repeats, moving closer. "You are just afraid you may end up fancying someone younger and from the enemy."

"Afraid? Please" I snort.

"Then let me buy you that drink."

"If I say yes, will you leave me alone once I've finished it?"

"If that's what you want… But you'll probably want more" he smirks.

"Yeah, sure" I reply, trying to ignore the way my stomach has reacted to that smile. Again. "Silvia, do you… Wait, where is she? And your friend?"

"Looks like they left us alone."

"I'm killing her the moment I find her."

"Or thanking her."

"Why do you keep insisting? Why are you flirting with me instead of those teenagers over there?"

"Because they don't interest me. You do."

"Me? Why?"

"I don't know" Pedri shrugs. "But the moment you walked in, I couldn't keep my eyes from you. You are different from the others."

"Has that pickup line ever worked before?" I chuckle.

"I'm telling you the truth."

"And I'm 25" I laugh.

"You do look 25. And they look so good" he says, looking at me from head to toe, making my cheeks get warm. 

"Are you buying me that drink or not?" I say, trying to stop whatever he is doing to me.

"Yes, sure" he smirks. "Another beer?"

"Please" I reply, taking a big breath when he turns his back to me to go order, trying to compose myself. Why is a kid making me feel… things?

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"So, how did you end up here tonight?" Pedri asks me once he is back with our drinks.

"Silvia wanted to go out to help me forget about something."

"Have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Forgotten about that something."

"I… I actually have, yes. Having a kid trying to flirt with me has helped. Cheers to that" I say before drinking.

"Cheers" he chuckles. "But I am not a kid."

"That's what you keep saying, but I don't believe you."

"I'm drinking alcohol and have a driving license."

"Not enough."

"Do you want me to show you that I'm not a kid, then?" he asks, arching a perfect eyebrow. 

"Yeah, why not" I shrug.

"You asked for it" he says, quickly moving around the small table where we were standing and showing up by my side, his hands cupping my face before kissing me.

He is kissing me. Fucking Pedri González is kissing me. And for some reason, I am not slapping his face. For some really odd reason, I am kissing him back, getting completely lost on what is happening.

"Is this enough to prove to you that I am not a kid or do I have to keep going?" he asks, resting his forehead on mine and trying really hard not to smile.

"Not enough" I hear myself saying.

"Ok" he replies, this time fully smiling before kissing me. And, again, I feel myself getting lost on the way his lips and his tongue feel on mine, on his hands on my face, mine resting on his chest. It feels like something completely new and exciting, but also familiar and somehow peaceful. As if we had known each other our whole lives and hadn't met just a minute ago. 

"And now?" Pedri whispers against my lips when we finally manage to stop.

"Now what?" 

"Do you still think I am a kid?"

"A teenager."

"What?" he laughs. 

"You've gone from kid to teenager, congratulations."

"I am not a teenager either."

"You actually are. Scientists say that the teenage years end in your twenties, so" I shrug.

"Ok, fine" he laughs again, moving one of his thumbs over my cheek. "You are hot."

"Thank you?"

"I didn't mean it like that" he chuckles. "You are hot, but you also feel hot."

"Oh. I… I actually do feel a bit hot, yes."

"Do you want to go outside and have some fresh air? I know a place where no one will bother us."

"Ok" I say, letting him take my hand and guide me outside.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I had never seen the city like this. It's beautiful" I say as I look at Barcelona's skyline. "How did you find this place?" 

"A security guy from the club brought me here after someone recognized me and things got a bit crazy."

"He brought you to the rooftop?"

"Yep" Pedri says. "Weird, but it was exactly what I needed to calm down."

"Was it too bad? What happened that day, I mean."

"I'm pretty sure I had a panic attack. I suddenly found myself surrounded by too many people with phones flashing everywhere, arms and hands all over me. It was too much."

"I'm sorry" I say, giving his hand a little squeeze. We hadn't let go yet. I hadn't.

"Thank you… Wait, I don't know your name."

"What?"

"I just realized I haven't asked you your name."

"I guess you were so busy putting your tongue down my throat that you forgot to ask."

"I didn't hear you complaining" he smiles. 

"Yeah, whatever."

"And?"

"And what?" I ask.

"Your name. Are you going to tell me or not?"

"You'll have to earn it."

"Earn it? How?"

"I don't know" I shrug. "But I'm sure you can think of something."

"I… I actually can, yes. And it is something that will also show you that I am not a teenager even if scientists say so."

"Enlighten me" I say, my words turning into a whisper when I notice the way he is looking at me.

"My pleasure" he replies, guiding me towards a picnic table. Why is there a picnic table on the rooftop of a club? I don't know. 

"What… what are you doing?" I ask when he lifts me up and sits me on the table.

"What do you think?" he smirks, sitting between my legs and caressing the inside of my knee, the feeling making me shudder.

"We are on a rooftop."

"And?"

"What if someone comes in? Or sees us? Or… fuck" I gasp when he kisses my inner thigh.

"No one will bother us."

"How do you know? Have you done this before? Is this where you take all the girls you pick up downstairs?"

"You are the first person I've brought here" he says, meeting my eyes before kissing my thigh again.

"Am I?"

"You are" he says, slowly lifting my dress. 

"Should I feel flattered?"

"Definitely. I told you you aren't like the others."

"Yeah, because I'm way older" I chuckle.

"Tonight you are 25. And when I'm done with this, so will I."

"Yeah, well. We'll see" I say, biting my lower lip and trying to stay calm despite the way my skin is burning under his touch or what I am feeling… there.

"May I, then?" Pedri asks, his fingers playing with the hem of my underwear.

"Yes" I nod, my eyes focused on his as he pulls it down.

"Try not to forget about your name" he smirks.

"Why would I… Fuck" I gasp when I feel his tongue, everything that he does after making me forget about my name, but not his. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Morning."

"Good morning" Silvia yawns. "What is all this?"

"Breakfast" I smile.

"You made breakfast?" 

"Yep."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I was in the mood for it" I shrug.

"You were in the mood for it, uh?" she chuckles. "You should fuck a teenager more often if this is what I get in return. It looks amazing."

"I didn't fuck a teenager" I say, rolling my eyes.

"Ok, fine. He did it all while you just had the best orgasm of your life."

"It wasn't the best."

"Top 3?" Silvia smirks.

"Whatever" I say, pouring myself some coffee.

"Are you seeing him again?"

"No way. One mistake is enough."

"Mistake?" she laughs. "Girl, look at you. You are glowing and haven't been able to stop smiling since you said goodbye to him. That doesn't look like a mistake to me."

"He is a kid, Silvia. And a football player. He is like a walking red flag."

"But I'm not asking you to marry him or anything. I'm just telling you to have fun for once in your life."

"Are you calling me boring?"

"When it comes to your relationships, yes, you are boring. This is the most interesting thing you've done since you became single, and he managed to make you forget about you know what, didn't he?"

"He did, yes" I sigh. "But it probably is because I was too busy freaking out about the fact that I had made out with a teen who happens to be a football star and I didn't have time to think about anything else."

"You were too busy thinking about the way he was making you feel, not his age or his job. That's good, you know?"

"That's crazy, Silvia. And dangerous."

"That's good. If he has managed to make you feel like this just with what he did last night, imagine what he can do when he actually fucks you."

"That isn't going to happen, tho."

"Why not?"

"Because he is Pedri! The Pedri! And he plays for Barça!"

"And?" she shrugs.

"Urgh."

"I think you should meet again. He definitely fancies you."

"He doesn't. He just sees me as a challenge because I'm older and support Real Madrid, and if he gets to fuck me he'll be able to brag about it with his friends."

"Did he tell you that?"

"No."

"Then you don't know if that's what he feels" Silvia shrugs again. "And what if that's the case, uh? I'm sure it'll be worth it."

"Oh, yes. Being treated like I'm just a piece of meat by a bunch of teenagers is so worth it" I reply, rolling my eyes.

"But you will also be using him, Val. He gets to brag, you get to be railed. I think it is worth it."

"It is madness, that's what it is. Now can we please eat our breakfast and change the topic of conversation?"

"Yeah, sure" Silvia says when my phone starts ringing. "Oh my God, is that him? Did we manifest it?"

"It's my mum. He probably is still sleeping like the baby he is. Hello, mum" I say, picking up.

"Valeria! Why hadn't you told me that Marc got engaged!"

"I forgot" I shrug.

"You forgot? He is your ex boyfriend!"

"Maybe that's why I forgot?"

"I thought you had remained as friends."

"And we have."

"Then?"

"Then what, mum?"

"Then why didn't you tell me!"

"Because I forgot, I already told you!" 

"There is no need to yell, Valeria."

"I'm sorry, mum. I'm not in the best mood right now" I sigh.

"Oh, my poor thing. Knowing that you are the only one in your group of friends who isn't married or in a serious relationship can't be easy."

"I don't care about that, mum" I say.

"Well, you should! I want grandchildren, Valeria!"

"I have to go, mum."

"Where?"

"Silvia is calling me, she needs my help with something. Bye."

"But…"

"Bye" I say before hanging up.

"That was rude, Val."

"I'm sorry, ok? But she can be so annoying. Who cares if… Fuck."

"Uh?"

"He just texted me" I say, my eyes fixed on the notification on my phone, my heart suddenly beating way too fast. 

"Who did?"

"Pedri just texted me."

"No way!" Silvia says, quickly moving to stand next to me. "What does he say?"

"If I'm free later today."

"Well, you are."

"Weren't we going to…"

"No, that's been canceled. You are going out with him and hopefully get railed so you can forget about your mum and everything she just said."

"Silvia..."

"You are going, Val. End of the story." 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I thought you wouldn't come."

"Why not?"

"Because I am a teenager who plays for Barça and that's illegal?" Pedri laughs. 

"Yeah, well. I needed to get out of the house and stop thinking, and you somehow manage to help me with that."

"And is that something good or bad?"

"Silvia says it's good. I don't know yet."

"Then I'll guess we'll have to keep hanging out until you make up your mind" he smiles.

"Maybe... We'll see. I had never been here before."

"That's because this is my secret place."

"Another one?" I chuckle.

"Another one. When you become so famous you can't step outside without being recognized, you somehow manage to find spots where no one can find you, places that are just for yourself."

"It must suck. Not being able to do normal things anymore, I mean. I don't know if I could be able to handle it."

"It sucks, yeah" he sighs. "But then I come here and I forget about everything. It's just me and the sea."

"Look at us, both looking for something that helps us forget" I laugh. "We are so sad."

"But now we have something in common" Pedri winks.

"I guess" I giggle. I giggled? Why did I giggle? "Anyway" I say, clearing my throat. "Can we go down to the beach?"

"Of course. There is a path over there."

"Then let's go" I say, taking his hand on mine and starting to walk.  

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You are going to end up falling into the water if you keep playing like that" Pedri says with a cheeky smile.

"Lucky me, there is a young man next to me that will come to my rescue" I smirk, jumping when another wave threatens to touch me.

"Oh, now I am a young man?" 

"You've earned it for bringing me here. This beach is perfect."

"I still feel like a kid when you talk about all these rewards, tho." 

"That's my inner teacher speaking" I shrug.

"Is that what you do for a living?"

"Yep. This year I will be teaching 6-years-old."

"And I can tell you love it."

"Uh?"

"Your smile. It says it all" he says, looking at me in a way that makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

"Yeah, umm… Should we go for a swim?" I blurt out.

"Now?" Pedri chuckles.

"Yes, now."

"But we don't have swimsuits."

"But we do have underwear, don't we?" I say, taking off my t-shirt. "We do, right?"

"Yes, we do" he laughs. 

"Then c'mon" I smile. "You are an island boy, you must be aching to go into the sea and just swim."

"You know what… you are right" he says, taking off his t-shirt too and making me stare at him. I just can't help it. Because a kid should not have those arms and that torso and those things on his hips that go all the way down to… 

"Liking what you see?"

"What?" 

"You are staring" he says with a teasing smile.

"I was just thinking and not looking anywhere in particular."

"Yeah, sure."

"I was" I insist, getting rid of my skirt. "And now you are the one staring" I say when I look up at him again.

"Yes, I am. I really like what I'm seeing."

"Great, cool. Shall we?"

"After you" Pedri smiles, making me feel his eyes on me as I turn around. He is checking me out. He definitely is. Why did I think this was a good idea? Swimming in the sea in my underwear. What the hell? 

"Oh, shit" I hiss, the water feeling colder than I expected.

"You are going too slow!"

"What?"

"Too slow!" he says behind me, lifting me in the air and throwing me over his shoulder.

"Pedri!" 

"This is how you do it!" he laughs before jumping with me into the water.

"It is so fucking cold" I laugh when I make it back to the surface, his head popping next to me.

"It isn't that cold, stop complaining" he says while splashing me.

"It is" I reply, splashing him back. 

"Maybe this will help" he smirks, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me closer to him.

"Still cold" I reply, putting my arms around his neck.

"What about this" he says before kissing me. It is a short kiss, but it is enough to make me feel my cheeks getting warm.

"That is definitely working" I giggle. Again. Why am I behaving like the teenager here? 

"Should I keep going, then?" he asks, trying to hide a smile. 

"You should. You definitely should" I say before his lips are on mine once again.

[iamfuckingsorry]

Sorry guys, another DE rant incoming. This one's not even on any specific topic, just some feelings about the game that I need to get out.

So, the game absolutely fucking killed me. I intentionally didn't play the entire thing at once to give myself time to process and it still fucking killed me. And by killed I mean I had to take crying breaks at work hiding in the bathroom. Like literally unable to go through a day at work without coming this close to a breakdown. And there's other compounding factors for that, sure, but still.

And it's like... It's a chilling social commentary with too many layers for its own good. The main character is a walking bundle of current and past issues mixed with the consequences of extremely messed-up past actions. The main support character has the best of intentions but is heavily flawed himself. Everyone else in the story is fucked up, really every single fucking thing is fucked up, yet the game itself keeps giving you these little snippets of hope. All the side quests where you can make a difference to someone. Deep conversations. Kim smiling. Realizing the people you originally thought were massive assholes were just hurting. The goddamn stick insect.

You are a violent and irrepressible miracle.

Something beautiful is going to happen.

In the dark times, should the stars also go out?

Streets and sodium lights, the sky, the world. You're still alive.

You still have some years. You still have some hope.

The only way to load the dice is to keep on fighting.

Kim being so hopelessly in love with Revachol even though he's been treated like shit by the city's inhabitants.

Harry being so hopelessly in love with Revachol, too, even though he can't even remember her.

The world is shit, but there's still all these little things that make it worth living.

And I'd... really love for that to be my take away. I would really, really fucking love that. But somehow, I can't.

Because no matter how much good you do preventing an absolute bloodbath in Martinaise, changes are coming, and they aren't good changes. The wheels are already in motion and they cannot be stopped, no matter how vigilant Harry is, no matter how much Revachol loves him.

22 years after Harry wakes up, Revachol's getting nuked to pieces.

Some 5 years after that, the entire world as we know it is getting swallowed by the pale.

Kim Kitsuragi will not live to see 70.

(Honestly, this is the line that kills me the most. He deserves to grow old, to look at his life and be happy with what he's done with it, at peace and fully accepted by everyone including himself for the first time in his life. And instead he's getting killed in a pointless conflict that will usher in the end of the world, or if he won't get killed then, he's getting nuked to death. Kim Kitsuragi will not live to see 70.)

Anyway. I know that that's part of the point. Horrible things are inevitable but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living and good things aren't worth fighting for. You can still fight the inevitable darkness while you're here, you should still fight the inevitable darkness while you're here, you need to fight the inevitable darkness while you're still here because if you don't, then what are you living for? And if not you, then who? If you lose your last sliver of hope, then you lose everything. Yes, life is terrible and terrifying, but life is also so, so, so beautiful.

And even when life is shit, it's all just part of a cycle. Sometimes bad things need to happen in order for the good ones to be able to come back again. One day I'll return to your side. After death, life again. After the pale, the world again. The good connected to the bad, intertwined so tightly they cannot be separated in any meaningful way.

And I think I'm starting to get there, I really do. After the pale, the world again. Even in the darkest of times there is always hope of a brighter future. After the pale, the world again. After death, life again. Un jour je serai de retour près de toi. The only way to load the dice is to keep on fighting. The stars will never go out, not even in the darkest of times.

But instead I just... I close my eyes and I think of Revachol herself begging Harry to save her, and I think of her burning, and I think of Kim not living to see 70.

And I want to cry.

[ghostampire]

"Now they definitely won't make a shitty movie."

Tara Carpenter x Amber Freeman

Summary: Amber survives the final and now Tara is going to get answers.

Words: 2.4k

Warnings: idk blood death glass hardcore ending I think I died

25th anniversary of the Woodsboro murders. Back to that crazy night that changed this town forever.

A bloody series of murders had come to an end. It only seemed that way at first glance. After all, that's how movies with good endings end, right?

The sounds of sirens and ambulances pierce the air, reporters pull up. It's happening all over again. Sam, Tara, and Mindy, as the surviving trio from the new generation, get proper medical attention. Finally a long-awaited vacation after exhausting games of not only life but death.

The police officers are about to seal the house and get to work, but their attention is drawn to the scream of a man heard from inside the house.

“Stretcher required, we have another survivor!”

Another one. But who? Mindy's firm grip stops the medical worker who was carrying her to the ambulance. Her gaze read hope and fear as her brother was the only one she didn't see among the others. He's Chad-fucking-Meeks-Martin. Would it be any different in this crazy real-life murder franchise? Apparently this time yes, because it's not the tough athlete with the beaming smile who is carried out of the house on a stretcher, but the culprit of their headaches and new scars. Amber Freeman. Second Ghostface. 

At this point, it's as if everyone around the house freezes in anticipation or disbelief, watching the scene unfold, except for Tara. She can't look at her girlfriend, already an ex, of course, but that doesn't save her from conflicting feelings.  From facing reality. The squeezing pain in her ribcage from the realization of betrayal and the relief that it didn't end as horribly as it could have. But... what now? The chaotic thoughts in her head were making her physically nauseous, as was the fantasy of their reunion. Maybe this was just what she needed. Maybe only now would she get her answers from the one who'd treated her so cruelly, though she'd never thought of that earlier. Now she needed the truth. She needed to know who her ex-girlfriend really was.

The younger Carpenter didn't feel as strong now as the older one. Tears were hard to hold back, her lips were starting to hurt.

Not surprisingly, Sam noticed the change in Tara's demeanor, grabbing her hand tighter for support. It was clear without words how hard it was to get through this moment. How hard it would be to get through this night. As if the nightmare wasn't over yet.

It was obvious for sure that for Tara, this nightmare would be forever. In real life and in her dreams. As for Amber? She won't let this nightmare fade away as long as she's alive.

It was a mistake.

Definitely the stupidest and craziest thing the younger Carpenter had ever done in her life. However, this night had long been beyond normal, so it was worth the risk. It was something she wanted to believe in, otherwise it would cost her a broken heart or her life.

Strange to think her heart was still beating for her.

She'd been on such craziness with her girlfriend before, they often got into such messes because Amber wanted more thrills. Tara wanted love.

There's a reason they say that you can't see the monster in your lover.

Not until it was too late.

Tara knew she wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, wouldn't be able to be around the people who cared for her right now. She was drawn to the one who had given her the most love and who had left more scars on her body and soul that would never truly heal. She felt like a moth that was mindlessly giving in to its instincts and flying toward the brightest light of its life. That's what Amber was to her. And it was killing her in every way. So yes, it was definitely a crazy idea to sneak into the hospital where the brutal killer was being held.

The small town had its advantages, but it was also a disadvantage. Everyone knew each other, knew secrets and could use them for good as well as evil. Carpenter thought it was only fair to find out everything from Amber here and now and that was what she was able to convince the policeman who was on duty outside the hospital room today. Only fifteen minutes had been allotted, which meant the questions had to be chosen wisely. 

One short breath. One step forward. One question.

“Why?”

Why did she even think she could get through to Amber? Why did she need answers so badly? Why was her girlfriend a fucking murderer when they could live happily together? Why?

The door was only slightly ajar, so that only a tiny bit of light from the corridor penetrated the room. The room itself was dark and shiveringly uncomfortable. Even in that damn house, the closet hadn't been so scary when Amber had tied her up and locked her in, and it had been chaotic after that. Now it felt like the closet had gotten bigger and locked her in with the killer. Maybe her mouth and wrists weren't taped shut, but the girl was restrained by all those feelings inside her.

Fear. Doubt. Sorrow.

Tara stood a couple steps away from the bunk where the brunette lay in bandages, in such a horribly vulnerable state, but alive. It might have all looked like loving people coming to each other for support, but the reality was far worse.

The silence in the room was agonizingly pressing on Carpenter's so unrecovered psyche. Words stuck in her throat, no matter how much she wanted to say. It was like torture. 

Amber remained motionless, as if frozen in place. As if she was the only one in the room who was conscious. She watched her ex-girlfriend's every move. They both knew that now they would have to choose every word, every tone with extreme care. The last night had taken a lot from them, they were on edge and the slightest slip up could end in disaster. Instinct for self-preservation screamed to run right now, but she felt paralyzed. Tara couldn't move after hearing her girlfriend's husky voice.

“Because it's fun.”

As if that was what Amber needed. To open up to someone and just say, "I am who I am." Like she'd been storing that moment in her heart for a long time.

And she saw Tara's gaze lock on one expression as well, her breathing quickened and her heart began to beat faster. She saw herself realize that there would be no more excuses, no more 'I love you'. No more trying to change things. Just the truth.

Amber saw Tara break down in front of her. It was her choice to tell her everything about herself, to tell her feelings. She wanted to be the one to help her, but she couldn't do that right now. All she could give Tara was the truth, which would break her. Just like the words she'd spoken: "Because it's fun." They could sever all ties between people and destroy any hope of any kind of love.

Carpenter realized this, which was why it was hard to hold back the tears that rolled down her cheeks so scaldingly. She had to muster all the strength she had to look the sociopath in the eye.

“Did I even mean anything to you?”

Amber felt her heart skip a beat at that question. A second later, she nodded her head and a slight smirk appeared on her face. She didn't deny that this relationship had given her something, including the realization that she felt what a normal person should feel. But it wasn't love. She hated to admit it, but she felt something from her that she hadn't felt before. A feeling she could call attraction, but as usual, it couldn't last. A sense of control over someone or something, and a feeling she had never felt before - a desire to take someone under her wing. But this feeling wasn't love, and she knew it. She couldn't fake it. It was on the verge of obsession. She knew exactly how their relationship would end, and she actually enjoyed everything that was happening between her and Tara. Amber took pleasure in the girl's feelings, but that pleasure was selfish. And in a way, it was her way of loving, but it was a twisted feeling that she didn't hide.

“I was trying to help you.”

As soon as those words came out of the ruthless killer's mouth, Tara breaks down completely and all the negative feelings overwhelm her at once. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was absurd. It couldn't possibly be true. Tears stop rolling down her cheeks, her gaze becomes hard and filled with burning rage. Her voice trails off into a scream and she takes a step towards the girl.

“Help?! You ruined my life!”

Carpenter didn't have time to think about what she said, but those were exactly the words, the feelings she felt after the betrayal. The lump in her throat again prevented her from saying the rest, but it also prevented her from giving in to her feelings. Biting her lip and glancing over her shoulder at the half-open door, Tara turned back to Amber and took another step so her words wouldn't sound so loud, but now they were soaked with all the pain she'd been through over the past few days. There wasn't much time left to talk.

“You killed people and now you're leaving me alone.”

Amber's face expressed no emotion other than indifference. Her expression remained calm and detached as she watched her lover come closer and closer. Perhaps she liked it when Tara's emotions got out of control, she expected the girl to react that way. Maybe she was waiting for revenge, maybe she was just waiting for her to try to hit her... She couldn't tell. But she knew she deserved it. Did she feel remorse for it? Not at all.

Freeman opened her mouth to say what seemed to be something very important, but she only exhaled and raised her right arm as far as she could. Her movements were restricted because as a criminal she was obviously handcuffed to the bunk. She tilted her head slightly to the side, lowering her gaze. She wanted to believe that Tara would understand her and even after all of this she wouldn't be afraid to touch her. At least one last time.

And that made Tara's breath catch. This was too much. She couldn't see her ex-girlfriend as just a murderer. The problem was, she couldn't love her like before either. It was tearing her heart in two and leaving her with nothing. It was an emptiness so consuming that she wanted to cling to every opportunity just to heal. Just so she wouldn't feel the shards of her broken heart crashing into her soul, and so she took another step. Tentatively at first, with a trembling hand she reached out to Amber, touching her bandaged arm with her fingertips and then placing her palm fully.

It was something Amber had never expected, but had always hoped for. She'd expected many other things from Tara, but not this. She felt the girl's warm hand on hers. It was a wonderful feeling, no matter what. It was as if the girl was trying to show her that there was always room for a little good, no matter how bad or impossible the situation seemed. She liked that. She was even surprised by it. Her fingers closed around the girl's fingers. That little movement was Amber's way of expressing the fact that Tara always had a place in her heart. But...

This wasn't the kind of horror movie that ended with a good ending. At least that's how Amber saw it, especially when her plan went awry. There was definitely nothing left to lose now and she was going to take the one thing that mattered to her with her. She certainly wasn't going to lose to Sam on this one.

Killing people was a lot easier than trying to free one hand from handcuffs by breaking a finger. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but it was worth it. She'd done even before her ex had arrived, but almost as soon as night fell.  Slowly sitting down on the bunk, she looked sympathetically at Tara, clearly in pretense, and then took advantage of the moment to grab her by the scruff of the neck and pull her to her, holding the girl with a dead grip as close as she could.

There was only frustration and horror in Tara's eyes. It was as if she realized what was about to happen and was trying to prepare herself for the final blow, the worst possible moment. But there was no fear. She had already experienced far worse, she had already experienced betrayal worse than anything else. Now she was ready for the final moment. To meet her death cuddled against her friend's chest. To die feeling her lover's warm body against hers.

“Sorry, baby.”

Amber's words sounded cold-blooded and cruel, yet so gentle at the same time. Deceptively so. Only the breath Tara felt against her ear was scalding hot, reminding her that this monster was human, that this monster was her girlfriend, and that none of that mattered because the younger Carpenter had lost. 

It all happened in a matter of seconds. Amber's soft lips pressed in a gentle kiss to her princess's neck, but only as a false sense of security, because just seconds later her teeth sank into the girl's flesh, digging in as deep as possible, as painful as possible, until she felt she had not achieved her goal. Tara may have been intended in her script as the final girl, but everything had gone to hell at the last moment in that house and now the script had to be urgently rewritten. No matter how much Carpenter resisted, she couldn't get out of this trap.

Hearing the girl's scream, a policeman immediately rushed into the room with a gun at the ready and another holding a walkie-talkie to his chest for communication. 

It was too late. Tara could barely stay on her feet and gave her last strength to cling to the bunk like a lifeline. Blood hotly began to flow profusely from her neck and her vision slowly began to fade.

This time Ghostface had taken his last girl. Now this was the kind of ending that could be called dignified. Not the one she and Richie had planned for.... But it was even better this way.

Amber's gaze shifted to the cop with a wide grin.

“Now they definitely won't make a shitty movie.”

[tea-and-finalfantasy]

some nsfw/18+ hcs for bi-han, kuai liang, and tomas

kept it to one-ish idea for each under the cut so it didn't get excessively long for each. will write more, just not all in one post

Bi-Han

especially angry when horny, doesn't know how to like. ask or be normal about his own urges (not out of a moral flaw or failure/is a genuine issue), so he just gets frustrated and distant until it's like alright we both know you can't be acting like this and he knows and pouts about it but is relieved someone knows how to fucking fix this

it's anger that stems from anxiety over showing what he perceives as weakness/is anger so he doesn't appear as anxious as he is

definitely worse if he wants to receive or sub but still has frustration towards desire at all, is afraid of being vulnerable, of feeling too deeply if it's not fury, of giving into something instead of controlling it

even if he were to go out and have a hookup and be the dominant party and engage in like, degrading someone, he'd still walk away feeling unsure and overwhelmed like he fucked up something somehow, like he can never be as seamlessly in control as he feels he has to

plus he's. stubborn and rude but knows not to treat someone poorly when it's not like, mutual hatred or a fight--like yes he lashes out and is bad to people who care about him BUT it's usually bc he feels he's trying to steer them towards something better? he wants kuai liang to join him and expresses this by being harsh and cold in the hopes that his brother will change his mind. he's rude to tomas when their opinions clash but also has expressed he doesn't wish to see him harmed

so i mean that he knows he has to provide aftercare and will also avoid sex and love because he knows he won't be able to do that properly

he doesn't feel confident that he can support people in the emotional way that they'll need--and is scared of being cared for in that way and feeling vulnerable from it--so even if he wanted to seek out hookups, he can't

then with established relationships, like childhood friends or confidants, he feels he can't be weak as he's only ever been strong so either way, he's unable to lean into being vulnerable

he's been operating on these assumptions for so long that even being cared for and being made to feel safe is gonna set off a panic attack because it's different and unfamiliar and the fear of being ridiculed or humiliated or taken advantage of when he thought he was safe is too much for him to risk it

can manage jerking himself off sometimes without feeling too horrible about it but usually either does it and feels guilty or worse--can't get off as he's too tense and thinking too much about just needing to get off as quickly as possible and can't manage to do it

which means he just gets more pent up and angry, goes to train to blow off steam, can't relax after training, can't sleep because he can't relax, trains again to see if it helps--and it's a vicious cycle of overworking himself until he's so exhausted he finally can sleep + trying to find as many distractions as possible to avoid dealing with his emotions

i def think locktober (feat. prostate milking but no actual orgasms) + no nut November (feat. some ruined orgasms at the end before finally getting off after two months of edging) would definitely get his head on straight

like it's a regimented, more procedural kind of denial, like a schedule or a game, and isn't necessarily self-imposed or doesn't have to be--as opposed to him setting detrimental rules and standards for himself and never letting up

like it turns something he's doing that's stressing him out and upsetting him into something with a timeline and something that, at least at first when he's never done it, someone else will take care of for him and help guide him towards choices that might challenge him but won't break boundaries

like it helps set up boundaries he didn't know he had, helps him relinquish control in a way that doesn't make him completely at someone else's mercy but allows them to choose what's best for him (like he can opt out of things but might be encouraged to try something new)

very mellowed out for a while after that lol

plus it'd be easy for someone to be like "do you need me to take care of you?" and he knows that he's safe in someone else's hands no matter what someone chooses to do with him or what it might usually entail (prostate milking with an actual orgasm either at the end of it or the morning after/a few rounds of ruined orgasms and then a successful one, short bursts of chastity at times where he can decide if he wants to try and break his record or just take it easy and hold off for a week) so he's not just overwhelmed and without a plan

and then he knows what makes him feel better and can request it nonverbally until he feels more capable to speak up, if he ever feels comfortable doing so. either way, he's able to express a desire and not feel overwhelmed by the request, the act, or the aftermath

Tomas

loves receiving oral and knows what he wants when getting it

loves facefucking/taking the lead and fucking someone's mouth while they just keep it open for him

enjoys both a slow pace and a fast pace but always lapses into a softer attitude afterwards, especially if he's been more dominant about it

(see his fatality where he shoves the grenade in someone's mouth. that kind of dominance and focus on oral lol)

with either situation, he keeps his grip firm and his pace even (worried that sporadic thrusts would be harder not to gag on) and is very aware of what he's doing so he doesn't hurt someone or make them choke unless that's what they're going for

even if he's the one keeping the pace, he can get really vocal in a submissive way/not necessarily in a dominant way even if given that control

if he's submissive about it, he moans and whines a lot, begs for things he's already getting as if it could never be enough or like he'll be denied it eventually, gasps and bites his lip and throws his head back--is both very physical and vocal

again, knows he shouldn't break pace unless someone won't gag or is okay with that so he shows desperation/need/lapses in control in how he speaks and moans instead of how he moves

if he does feel like being dominant, his neediness is expressed more through a faster, rougher pace than anything else

he'll do more coherent talking too lol, like praising someone for how good they're being, how good they feel, how much he likes seeing them drool like that--that there's no way for him to facefuck them and for them to come out of it looking like anything but a total mess and he loves that debauched look on them/that they're made for it

the extent of any meanness is pushing himself to the back of their throat and telling them to hold it, to be good and breathe through their nose, and i think he'd consider holding their nose for a moment, just to see them get uncomfortable at the action, but not enough to actually impact their breathing as it'd break immersion for him and he'd get nervous

if something like that is wanted from him (like that kind of force/fear or if someone really wants to gag around him), there'll be the expectation that he can't keep up the strict act for long because he starts getting nervous lol

like you'll get a firm pace but nothing painful or a pace that's hard to keep up with and lots of praise for it--not pain and coldness, even in a made up scene unless it's really fleeting/not for the entirety of the scene

not that topdrop is entirely unavoidable if he doesn't do that but he knows he'll start to feel gross if he's expected to be uncaring so it's a boundary not to be pushed more than that

again, softens into subservience afterwards in appreciation for getting to indulge and because it's a comfortable headspace for him/it helps him get back to baseline

loves to do stuff like eat someone out after he's cum in them (any hole) or clean them up with his tongue after they've cum and made a mess of themselves (again, can be eating someone's pussy post-orgasm, ringing his tongue around the tip of someone's cock, etc.)

likes to get himself dirty and really get his face in there, likes when a partner wraps their legs around his head and forces him in there as he usually starts more gingerly

wants to get covered in whatever fluid or ejaculate you got (if it's arousal fluid from being wet or squirt or cum or christ, sweat and musk and piss even--he wants to pull away and be soaked in it)

Kuai Liang

cockwarming is his favorite thing--either taking it into his mouth and fitting his nose right up to a partner's pubic hair, sitting there and being watched and having his hair played with and being praised

(it can be an actual cock or silicone, doesn't matter the length and includes t-dick--would definitely be interested in doing that with someone's clit even without bottom growth as it's more about intimacy and closeness and praise than anything else but he does like having his mouth full too and would want to engage in that just as well)

or getting filled up with something and being able to relax, maybe sucking on someone's fingers too to occupy his mouth at the same time

just likes getting his holes filled!

probably hasn't considered having a cock/toy in his ass and having fingers in his mouth and having his dick in someone else but would definitely need to do that without much in the way of prior stimulation as it'd be way too much all at once having gotten worked up beforehand (unless he's aiming for overstim)

would absolutely benefit from looking into toys like buttplugs because he could do stuff whenever he feels like it, rather than needing a partner to be free for it, but feels nervous about biting the bullet and entering that search/about realizing he can do things for pleasure even without a partner present

like he's not prudish but definitely has some sort of hang up, as his brother has his anger. maybe it's more concern over pursuing physical pleasure (or pleasure of any kind) because he feels he's not supposed to or allowed to. like he's so worried about so much that he assumes it's a distraction or that his life is so set for servitude that he shouldn't be indulging in personal needs--

even though he doesn't hold anyone else to this standard (like if tomas was forgoing pleasure or good food or any other needs, he'd be beside himself--he wouldn't want presence within the lin kuei to mean abstinence or strict rules, in general and as that's how bi-han wrongfully views it)

even though he's starting to realize that it's not something he can just smother and push aside/that his insistence that he doesn't need something is actually more of a distraction or preoccupation than actually giving in to it

doesn't know it's a thing but is so needy for it once he figures out it is--getting plugged but then later, when it gets taken out so he can get fucked, getting gagged with the same plug that was just inside him

it's degrading and humiliating and dizzying in how inappropriate it feels but he wants it more than anything and how can something he asks for so desperately--too shy to do so verbally but knowing its out and just getting those needy, hopeful eyes at the possibility of it being placed right back inside him but in his mouth--be anything but exactly what he's made for?

will whine and grind his hips into the bed and suck on it diligently, caught between being good and giving into overwhelming desire--wanting so badly to be used and filled and forced to be quiet but being unable to keep from being loud and restless and impatient

in a more social kink sense, absolutely has an oral fixation where being gagged calms him down, makes him feel quiet and floaty and small but very much cared for, like he settles immediately into subspace and it's nice to have that to rely on when things get too much and without the expectation of having it develop into anything. like he can just chill for a while and then take it out and come out of it and go to bed or something, not needing to make it sexual if he doesn't want to

so of course he has a couple masks with different gags on the inside depending on what he feels like putting in his mouth

they're probably much less ornate (detailed ones with gags reserved for more involved play) and are sewn fabric on the outward facing side as opposed to metal so they're more comfortable to keep on for prolonged periods of time or in certain settings (say, private spaces on transit like trains with sleeper cars or hotels where you still might run into someone if you don't keep only to your room)

plus fabric can make drooling less obvious which is also ideal for longterm wear (although he'll take it out to swallow after a bit and then put it back in or take it out to rest his jaw for a bit and then replace it)

the majority of these don't have large gags so longterm wear isn't super strenuous or uncomfortable but maybe one does and he'll reach for it if he's in a particular mood and knows he needs it, despite it being more painful, making more of a mess, etc.

is real cute afterwards, covered in spit and sleepy-sounding like "did i do good" like yeah bud real good, do you think you want to shower or--(he is out in minutes, he's not waking up for nothing)

[gingeredmink]

what are your age hcs for tatsuki and soutarou? and misc hcs for urotsuki?

Gonna be blunt, head is a cluttered junkyard and I'm a rambler with zero self control when right conditions are met [you ask about Special Interests]. plus am tired and really out of it from work cause we had inventory and i ordered too many lunchables [oscar mayer can go to hell]. Will do best to make this coherent, or at least intelligible, but apologies if it's a bit of a mess.

Age Headcanons [If we're going for what they are in game]

Short answer: Soutarou is late 20s-early 30s, Tatsuki ranges between 15-18. [tho ofc when I draw shippy stuff it's an AU and they're both early 20s]

Long answer: Actually thought about this on and off a decent bit and could never really get more than a vague, "Somewhere around this area" for them.

Soutarou is somewhere between late 20s and early 30s. He's old enough to have experienced some shit, try to get clean and back on his feet and get some manual labor experience, and have that ripped from him. Plus some time to isolate and have those thoughts wreck havoc on his mental state.

Tatsuki on the other hand is messier and harder to really give an age to. They could be a kid escaping into fairy tales to avoid reality, or a young adult [18-20] that was forced to grow up too fast and is now suffering from dealing with their fractured identity [have thought about Debris endings occurring around Tats 18th birthday, because they have the "You're not a child, so why do you hold onto such stupid childish fantasies?" thoughts to go on top of everything else and it sorta just breaks them.]

Misc Uro Headcanons

Big Deep angsty Uro hc/kinda what shapes her core for me

You might've heard the quote, “I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that." by Robin Williams. This more or less summarizes my view of Urotsuki at the core. She may not be weighed down by what other dreamers have gone through, but she knows what it's like to be trapped in darkness and though it may not show, she is doing her best to make others happy because she doesn't want others to go through that. [side note: this is huge part of reason for shipping her with Tatsuki. Feel like they'd be the same, tho Tats is way more introverted. That angsty, "You see through the smiles or notice the little things and softly nudge me to say you understand and are there." sorta thing].

Going off that; for the longest time have hc'd that Uro has struggled with an ED and self image issues in the past and a big part of why she loves food and is okay with being herself, and is so supportive of others doing the same, is because she had to fight to get to where she is and is doing her best to make sure others can simply see the joy in life without experiencing the hell she went through.

More lighthearted/Uro's a goofball hcs

Uro is somewhat lactose intolerant but keeps getting sick because she won't. fucking. stop. eating cheese. Or questionable foods in general. "It smells alright so it's probably fine." [narrator voice: It wasn't fine] sorta things.

Probs mentioned this one before but eh, Uro and Sou are one of few dreamers with a drivers license, and Uro's driving doesn't exactly leave most passengers feeling safe so Sou is constantly stepping in when she offers people a ride. The two bicker at each other like an old couple a surprisingly good bit when eyes aren't on them. This paired with them both being older and able to get drunk makes for quite a scene. [Sabi's laughing, Tats is on the floor trying and failing to hide it.]

She did have a dedicated dream diary at some point, but during a depressive period would start to fill and decorate it with random stuff [silly doodles, poems, stickers , ect], and it's now more like a thought scrapbook or therapeutic outlet for her. Pages that are just her jotting down memories that make her happy have little sticky note bookmarks so she can flip through them when feeling down.

Her head is a mess and all over the place, and her counting sheep is like a ritual she semi-depends on to fall asleep since it gets her to focus on one thing and relax [its a sorta behavioral dependency that if she was somehow barred from doing, she'd probs stress out and not be able to sleep.]

Hope you enjoyed or were at least satisfied with rambling anon ◠⸜⸝◠~

[usercelestial]

Agree Isaac will be key to Colin's story. I feel Colin's acceptance is strongly tied to his performance and I'm curious how that will develop. He's benched now S3. GOAT Zava may be an issue, in thematic contrast? His cult undid some of Ted's good work. Bet Colin will play again after it's out. (We've yet to see a red?) But it's so touchy, even indirect talk on their chances could have Colin feel liable for losses or feel shame after this shake-up. I want the opposite to show too end of S3. (1/2)

(2/2) At the end of this storyline, I want for Colin to be embraced and free, yes, by his team, and overall at least in a way that is enough and more, if not the world. But I NEED him to be a gosh darn STAR on the field when he's finally free, supported, on solid ground. Being one with the team and self-confident is everything that improved Ted's players that he hasn't gotten to have. He's a strong and capable man! (Jan Maas: In a squad of 20-or-so men it is highly improbable only Colin is gay.)

--

Yes yes yes, I agree like the way that Colin plays and the way he feels about himself are definitely connected. I think it's really interesting the way that Nate describes him as not moving or inspiring people because "he's just there" which, on Colin's part, is definitely on purpose, if possibly subconscious. The chameleon metaphor works in a couple different ways: Colin being a closeted gay man in a room full of straight men and Colin being a gay footballer in the public eye. Colin doesn't want to be noticed, he doesn't want to be seen. If he's seen, people might start to ask questions about his life that he isn't ready to answer yet. So he keeps to the back, he blends in; he's already in the public eye being on the team, he doesn't need to take any more risks. I think that Colin keeping that part of himself locked away and under wraps weighs him down when he plays in a way he doesn't even notice. Colin has probably come to terms with the fact that he has to remain closeted for the sake of not only his career but also his life however that doesn't negate the effects of being closeted and keeping an entire part of his life a secret. With this secret, Colin can't stand out as a player because of the fear of being noticed and analyzed past what he's comfortable with.

Being a gay footballer could also put Colin in a position where he feels like if he fucks up, he'll be scrutinized not only for the way he plays but for his sexuality. We've seen that Colin puts a lot of pressure on himself to perform well and now we can connect that being related to the way people will view his sexuality. Obviously, there's an idea in the sports world that if you're gay, you're not strong or tough enough to be on this team which is where his "I am a strong and capable man" mantra comes in. I remember one sports center scene where they said that it was Colin's fault for giving away possession and letting the other team get a goal. Moments like that where Colin fucks up are going to be attributed to the fact that he's gay. It won't be "Colin gave away possession" it'll be "the gay one lost them the game." I think this perception will also mess with Colin a lot, when he comes out, eyes will be on him, watching for any mistake he makes. (This is just theorizing now but when they know that he's gay and Colin makes a mistake, a fan might his gayness as an insult, making Isaac want to defend him by going up into the stands to punch him?)

When the team finally knows (even if he's outed, I would like to see Colin tell the team himself), I do hope Colin has a moment where he feels that love and support from his teammates and is able to play without the weight of fear and isolation. I hope that after Colin comes out, he has a moment where he feels free and confident enough in himself to let himself play to his fullest potential.

[every-dayiwakeup]

I've got a few things to get off my chest:

🔵The next time I see anyone saying "yeah he died and apologized but it's still not enough" my response will be:

So tell Jesus that sacrifice isn't enough and neither is "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing".

Actions speak louder than words, and on top of that Billy's last words were an apology.

But I guess when you add it all up in the Catholic calculator, it means absolutely nothing.

Too much talk of change without mentioning the integral step for change, which would be getting Billy support and him leaving his abusers.

We write fanfictions where he gets to do that because canon would not give it to us, which is ultimately what fanfiction's sole purpose is.

Unpopular opinion maybe, but I don't think Billy is the one that needs to change here. I believe that his environment makes all the difference, and even then it sure as hell won't be easy.

There's nothing wrong with him, and I often see people overexaggerating "what he's done".

Why aren't other characters in the hot seat? Why specifically Billy? Why are any characters obligated to make up for whatever they've done?

Fiction gifts us escapism, and I've seen an uptake in people blurring the lines between the two.

I don't want Billy to change who he is, and I think it's kind of funny that to some, being in a relationship with Steve (or anyone) will "fix him". Let's not act like Steve Harrington doesn't repress his emotions. He's also like 19, and it makes no sense to me that anyone would want to be in a relationship with someone who's goal isn't to love you, but to "fix you" somehow until you're "worthy of love".

You're basically dating a therapist.

🔵Let Billy Hargrove be messy. Quite frankly other characters should be, too! He is a textbook abuse victim, and if you can't accept or bother to understand what abuse does to someone, that's a you problem.

Let characters make mistakes. Relating to Billy aside, I enjoy him because he stands alone among npc characters, and I firmly believe if not for the narrative:

not being able to handle him

trying to reduce him to a joke like damn near every other character (yes hahaha have a bunch of forty year olds creepily watch a teenager, and just for extra laughs let's make him look like a homewrecker and his groomer a feminist!)

framing said victim repeatedly as the big bad teenage "oh he's mature looking" boy (like we don't have enough of that bullshit 😒)

going directly against Dacre's Billy (pushing the whole womanizer thing for one... "happy screams" 😑)

guiding an immature audience to hating a character because he's not a main

refusing to condemn canon abusers while shitting on an abuse victim (for the love of fucking hell, if you feel the need to tell your audience who to hate and who to root for, then I guess you don't think you've done enough of a job as a writer)

... maybe just maybe viewers wouldn't hate or misunderstand Billy as much. Plus in addition to overexaggerating they also tell blatant untruths, so there's that.

I don't know about y'all, but I don't see the point in herding people to like or dislike characters. Let them come up with a conclusion on their own.

I wouldn't even give a flying fuck about what other characters in ST have done, had it not been for the general fandom demonizing one character while putting on their hypocrite hats and their bloated sense of self morality.

They act like Billy is worse than Vecna, Brenner, those bullies in season 1... They refuse to even bring up Neil, and conveniently "forget" that Billy was possessed for most of s3.

The only people I really see making excuses are Brenner and Vecna stans. Oh, and Jason, too.

I don't really care who stans who, but if we're going to keep playing this bullshit morality policing game (with fictional characters 💀), let's not act like the worst character on TV is Billy Hargrove.

Seriously, I can come up with a list of characters (Stranger Things included) who are worse.

The difference being it doesn't keep me up at night... because they're not fucking real.

[fbfh]

thinking about how gutwrenching the ricky nini breakup in season 2 was, entirely because of how obciously and indefensibly horrible nini was being. for the whole season but mostly how she was so fucking self centered in the treehouse that it bordered on narcissistic. the way ricky was trying everything he could to get her to give him something to work with, any kind of lifeline that she still gives a shit about him. he was practically begging for her to say "I still love you and care about you, that's not going to change even if I like a different kind of pizza or spend a lot of energy on the projects I'm working on". that's all it would have taken. all Ricky needed to hear was that she still gives a shit about him, still actually wants to be around him. and Ricky was not going to give up on her. Ricky was not about to be the one to call it quits, and Nini is such a coward that she won't outright say she wants to break up with him. it would have been so easy for her to say she wants to focus on her career but instead he was the one comforting her. it's fucking disgusting the way she treats him. and the way Ricky basically collapsed into big red's arms sobbing???? watching movies and holding a pillow (which we know he only does when he feels like absolute shit) and trying not to cry more than he has?????? jesus christ.

like how insane will it be for Ricky when he finally meets you, probably after graduating and moving away from salt lake city. you're the first person he's liked and had a proper relationship with that doesn't assume the worst of him. if you're upset about something you communicate with him about it, you listen to him and actually take his feelings into consideration. you do things for him that you know will make him happy, and you cherish the things he does for you. you think he's sweet. endearing. you support him and work together with him to meet goals and solve problems and complete tasks. he keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop, keeps trying to compensate for something because if things are this easy it must mean something's wrong. he ends up either freaking out or confronting you about why you never fight, worrying it's because you don't love him enough or you're going to break up with him or some equally incorrect fear. you ask him if he wants to fight, and he says no. he's just used to it, he realizes. the mind games with his mom and with nini have been ingraned into him, and you provide a stable place for him to start to ulearn that. you've heard some unpleasant stories about Nini and his mother, and you start to get a better idea of why he's like this. it breaks your heart that someone so sweet, one of the genuine good ones, was treated so poorly. it's so weird at first, having a relationship that has passion without always fighting and miscommunicating or getting bored of each other. he feels like you're just going to be eternally in this honeymoon phase, cozy and happy. eventually after telling him enough how amazing he is and how much you love him, how much you appreciate him and how great he is and how he deserves to be treated the way he treats people, he'll start to believe it. he might actually be able to avoid getting sucked into the same exhausted drama with Nini when he goes back home for the holidays this year. he hopes you'll want to come meet him, really get to meet his dad and Miss Jenn and his friends. if you do, you'll be able to get a glimpse of what Nini from all the stories he told you about is like. you suspect a lot of stuff, but the only thing that will surprise you is how much worse she is than you expected. luckily for Ricky, you'll be by his side the whole time to back him up.

[jojotichakorn]

For the "give me a show and I'll tell you" game: Only Friends (I know it's not finished yet but you know I had to 😌 )

thank you for the ask, dear, i absolutely adore the amount of love and obsession we have for ofts 😌

my favorite female character

i'm actually gonna go ahead and say april. i know we don't see a lot of her and everything we see of her is in relation to chueam, but she is great at all that. she is just an amazing and supportive girlfriend through and through.

my favorite male character

sand and boston are currently fighting over that title. sand is likely winning, but by a very small margin. and like, props to boston, because while i knew that i'd love sand almost the second he showed up, boston went from "you're annoying, but in a compelling and entertaining way, so i'll give you that" to "i stand with my cancelled wife" and that's impressive as hell.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

episode 10, actually! it completely knocked it out of the fucking park. i think it could be that my feelings are also heightened by the fact that episodes 10 in the past have given me the "we're coming up to a trainwreck" feeling so many times, while the ofts episode 10 made me even more in love with the series and extremely confident in the last two episodes. but it was also just incredibly good. it fully turned my feelings about boston and bostonnick around, it brought up the final issues with raysand and put them on the path to resolving absolutely everything that needs to be resolved to be happy together, it gave me the cunty bitch that is boeing, it made mew completely unhinged, it made top squirm. everything i could have possibly fucking wished for and even more.

my favorite cast member

this one is hard actually, so i'm going to divide the answer into three. 1) force. obviously. he's been one of my favourite actors since enchante and that has not changed one bit. he is doing an amazing job at playing someone i deeply dislike, truly showing off his range here. 2) first. i've always appreciated his acting, but i've never been able to enjoy it to the full unhinged level, because there was something about each of his previous characters that i did not like. now that he is playing someone i am ready to kill and maim for, i am enjoying his performance tenfold. 3) neo. i've seen him in things before and i have liked his acting, but he truly took it to a new level with boston. he is so unbelievably fucking good at what he does that i recently told one of my friends i think he is the best actor from the 2000s gang and i do absolutely stand by that.

my favorite ship

sandray. no contest there babeyyyyy. just the idea of love not being something that a person "deserves", but something that happens and something that can be fulfilling and beautiful, even when there are hurdles and difficulties? the idea that everyone can find someone who won't even "bear them", but just like them and not really find their complexities and flaws that burdensome? immaculate.

a character I’d die defending

boston and ray, but only in regards to particular clownery. both of these have made mistakes, but people acting like boston is pure evil (while he's just... selfish, and that's literally it) or treating ray like the devil because of his addiction would both cause me to draw my bow.

a character I just can’t sympathize with

i was going to say mew just because i don't like him the most, but since the question is specifically about who i can't sympathize with - it's top. like, he really just fucked around and found out to me. also atom and gap, obviously, but i feel like that goes without saying.

a character I grew to love

boston and nick, in different ways. as i said before, boston used to kind of annoy me but in a way that was entertaining. but then he just moved on from his own mess with such ease that it made megiggle and episode 10 finally solidified both how lonely he actually is (seeing as his whole friend group doesn't actually care about him) and also how he can, in fact, change and realise things about himself and open up in a really meaningful and beautiful way, all of which made him jump to being a fave. as for nick, i've always liked that messy messy bitch, but the things that he took away from the situation with boston, the fact that he realised and acknowledged where he fucked up, the fact that he just genuinely loves boston and sees the best in him but also finally respected boundaries to the full and was planning to leave him alone? the beautiful growth there just made me adore him.

my anti otp

probably raymew? like, truly, no one has ever had a worse idea in their entire life. raymew was bad for everyone who was even a little involved. complete mess. two of the most incompatible people in the world. so much so that, despite the fact that the series wants me to believe they work as friends, i don't even think that's true. i don't like raymew's relationship in any capacity, frankly speaking. i don't think they fit together at all.

send me a name for a drama (or dramaS) and i will answer all these questions

(list of dramas i've seen)

[stellardeer]

this is not about tumblr because fuck these people, but it does genuinely boggle my mind that people get mad about websites trying to generate revenue. Like I get that the internet used to be free and wild and anyone could just host a website like it was nothing, but even back then there were still costs involved. Even if you were able to run servers entirely out of your home, there's power costs to that, there's a cost to DNS hosting your URL, which you can technically go without but it'll be a lot harder for people to find your site. And if you consider programming and graphics to be a form of labor then yeah you're also spending time and labor building and maintaining a website and maybe some people can afford to do that out of the goodness of their own hearts but if you want a site to have 24/7 support it's gonna require someone to have 24/7 compensation for doing that.

In the olden days all of this was paid for by advertisements. But now everyone uses adblockers and also ads fucking suck in general so it's not a viable way to sustain a site anymore. So yeah, some sites are gonna start rolling out premium plans or selling stupid little cosmetics or just straight up begging for donations every other week just to stay afloat. Or worse, selling user data to advertisers to keep the site free and you have no way to opt out or even know that they are doing this.

Again, fuck tumblr staff, but I was genuinely surprised and happy to see people actually get on board with the idea of buying ad-free or the little badges and shit when they first came out and spreading the word that if we enjoy a service and want to keep using it then we need to financially compensate the people running that service. It was great to see people actually starting to realize like 'hey yeah it sucks that things can't be free forever but the team of people running this place that i love so much need to afford to eat so they can have $5 from me sure' (Granted that didn't last fucking long because they won't stop banning trans women and POC and Palestinians, but it was good to at least see people getting the idea)

But I still see sooo much hatred on other sites towards staff for like.. adding more paid features or trying to increase the price of certain cosmetics or bringing in ads, and I get it, I truly truly do, I use uBlock just like everyone else and I'm not turning it off no matter how fucking much I love a website, I would rather give them $40/year than look at a single fucking ad, but some people act like certain websites existence and continued service/maintenance is just.. a given??? Like?? I wish just as much as the next fucking guy that the internet could idk be subsidized or something, like I don't even know what the alternative is, that's the thing. It's very much a have your cake and eat it to type situation, like if you enjoy using something that is not a necessity, like I'm not talking about having to use the internet to apply for jobs or do taxes or whatever else that damn well should be fucking free, but like games or hobby sites, whether it's run by 1 person in a studio apartment or a whole corporation, it's like paying dues to a club. And maybe you get lucky and even though you can't afford it, the dues that someone else pays are more than enough to compensate both of you sharing the space, but the space needs to be paid for either way.

And I know that it's really an issue with capitalism as a whole, like ideally not only should the internet be free I think that everything else should be free too! But I don't think that you're going to solve that by letting your favorite browser game die because you refused to compensate them for the work they were doing. Especially if you continue to show up and use their services without paying, you're just draining them even faster using up their resources. You're not sending a message to the company that they need to get funding from elsewhere all you're doing is showing investors that this type of thing is not profitable and thus no more of it will be funded. Most of these website also don't want to be doing what they're doing to try to stay afloat, and you're not going to stop microtransactions from existing by "boycotting" the services that start implementing them, you're just going to push every fun or interesting platform out until we'll be left with nothing but the data-selling websites. If you want things to be different you need to look to your politicians, not blame everything that's wrong with the world on the 25 people running a horse website, idk.

Also don't even get me started on how nobody seems to mind that the systems that maintain the internet are built on the backs of the impoverished and enslaved around the world and the amount of energy it takes to run all of it is killing the fucking planet, but like god forbid Wikipedia asks you for $3!!!!

[ancient-reverie]

I have a problem and I want to tell you guys. it's about my mom's version of "allowance"

I'm 27, mentally and physically disabled, and bc of that I have never moved out, and am happily unemployed. I don't NEED money. I don't even WANT money. I HATE money. I want to grow my own food and survive without it type of hate. But my family is well off bc my dad is a retired firefighter, but still has a business of maintaining and repairing fire hydrants. My parents happily support me living with them, they don't want rent (would refuse it even) and only want me to have a job so I have something to do and for them to know I'll be able to survive on my own. (I can survive on my own but it wouldn't be with a job. I know how to live in the world.)

with that prefaced here's a rant:

my mom gives my brother and I an allowance. and she's always said "it's to prepare you for the real world" (i.e. having a job and an employer and paycheck) my problem is even though she calls it an allowance... but it's actually just bribery to do chores. she pays us for doing everyday chores. which backfired. let me explain.

I never learned that sometimes chores are chores, work is work, and you don't get paid for doing it. I never learned that finished work would be the reward, my brain expects payment. EVEN FOR MY OWN ART I MAKE FOR MYSELF.

I have a hard time doing chores, or anything, that won't 'get me anything'. I do also blame my ADHD.

What I'm actually upset about though... is that an allowance is given to kids as their share of the household that they can spend on whatever they want. It's an allowance not a paycheck. It's given because you love your children and want them to be happy. It's not meant to be held over their heads on whether or not they do their chores.

There are more important things in life than doing chores by the way but that's blasphemy I guess.

Bonus: she threatens to take away the money if we don't do our chores in a timely manner. but she never does it. and when she doesn't take it away she'll say 'well you're my kids it's what you do as a oarent' as if she wasn't holding it over us the whole time??? bitch what???? the fuck??

AND BONUS BONUS SHE DOESNT REMEMBER SAYING THAT??? NOR REMEMBER HOLDING IT OVER OUR HEADS??

AND IF YOU THINK SHE'S GASLIGHTING ME SHE ISN'T. SHE GENUINELY FORGETS AND IT'S A FUCKING NIGHTMARE. I WISH SHE WAS GASLIGHTING ME, AT LEAST THEN I'D KNOW THAT SHE KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON.

so I think her parents screwed up "allowance" for her by doing this same shit. and I'm trying to teach her that I don't wanna be an employee.

I would like the allowance because she loves and cares about me.

I will do the chores because I live in the house and they're my chores too. Because they're a part of life.

I don't need to 'learn about the real world' I had books, and games, and textbooks that taught me. Not to mention our entire culture is capitalism so it becomes a little obvious to the smallest of children that job = payment.

BUT REAL IS ENTIRELY UP TO INTERPRETATION. WHAT THE FUCK IS "THE REAL WORLD"?? IS THIS NOT IT?? CAN I FIND REAL LOVE IN THE "REAL" WORLD BC I CANT HERE. THESE FOLKS HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED TRUE LOVE AND IT'S NOT GREAT BEING RAISED BY THEM.

so yeah... thanks for listening to my rant about how my mom misuses the word "allowance" and how it's one of the stakes driving into in our broken rock of a relationship.

[chirpsythismorning]

It would appear I am indeed one of the very few optimistic (delusional?) Bylers left.

Not saying that if you feel hopeless and need to move on, that you can't. A lot of you have been through this before with other shows. Again and again. You’re tired and fed-up and you have every right to be.

Technically, Season 5 won't be out for another 2+ years anyways, which means the best thing for everyone regardless is to get whatever we need off our chests now and then to just go on a hiatus for the foreseeable future. 

When it comes to how I feel about Vol. 2, there were definitely at least a few good moments. If this season has anything going for it, it’s the emotional value. This is without a doubt the most I’ve cried ever while watching the show. One scene in particular that had me on the floor was the scene with Will and El reuniting and hugging. And of course the scene with Will and Mike in the van (DAMN YOU NOAH SCHNAPP FOR MAKING ME SOB SO HARD ALL DAY THAT I GOT A MIGRAINE!)

But yes, I am a Byler. So you could say I was a bit disappointed in that department.

And yet still, I think my take on the later part of season 4 is much different from the majority.

Because personally, I don’t think that what played out in Vol. 2 means that Byler is dead. If anything, I believe it to be more endgame than I did before (well, at least in comparison to pre-s4. There’s no denying pre-Vol. 2 confidence levels remain unmatched. Truly the best era for the Byler fandom to date).

I think my main issue is, like so many of us on here, I thought it was guaranteed we would get to see Mike become aware of Will’s feelings. 

Alas, we did not.

And to be totally clear, without this revelation, Byler can’t go anywhere. 

Neither forwards, nor technically backwards.

This means the baiting game is not over. Which as bad as it sounds, is why I’m still so optimistic…

Now, if they had made Will’s feelings obvious to Mike, or even the fact that Will is gay as being obvious to Mike, but STILL had Mike behave the way he did in Vol. 2, now THAT would have sucked. It would have been canon rejection on Mike’s end.

But we didn’t even get rejection from Mike. 

Instead, we got Will coming off as a hardcore M*leven shipper in Mike's eyes, all while the audience was getting the exact opposite interpretation of this situation; that Will is helplessly in love with Mike. 

Will is able to voice the extent of his love, albeit through advice to Mike about his own situation with El, in a way that no one else on the show has been able to. Most of the other characters need a bunch of bystanders to make them realize their feelings and push them in that direction. But Will, he doesn’t need someone holding his hand along the way, telling him what the right thing to do or say is. His love isn’t something he needs to really think about in order to understand it. It just is.

(Which is SO fucking ironic when you think about how Mike always needs help with figuring out his feelings for El and even sounds like he’s reading off a script when he’s trying to explain himself to her. Whereas with Will, s2 monologue teas, it’s the most natural thing Mike’s ever done. Unscripted, straight from the heart… And both Vol. 1-2 continued to drive home this concept, so maybe jot that down..)

It’s just that, unfortunately, in Will’s eyes, Mike will never return this love, which means his only option is to let Mike go. If supporting Mike and El’s relationship means putting himself dead last in every respect, so that his best friend and his sister can be happy, Will is going to do just that. 

But as far as Mike knows, Will holds no romantic feelings for him. I mean after all, Will is guiding Mike literally every step of the way to confessing his love to El, and that doesn't sound like the behavior of someone who’s in love with you, now does it? 

So why would Mike, throw everything on the line, including the survival of their family and friends in Hawkins by not simply just telling his gf he loves her? All while El is right there loving him and needing his love to fight (presumably), with Will beside him literally rooting for him to do just that? This is very obviously the only option in Mike’s eyes.

Which is ironic, because in a way, I think that Mike has truly never seen him and Will as an option, just like Will, but for an entirely different reason. 

Mike views his feelings for Will as childish, something he will grow out of, or at least should have by now.

“We’re not kids anymore. What did you think, really? That we were never going to get girlfriends? That we were just going to sit in my basement and play games for the rest of our lives?”

If Mike can’t love El, then how can he possibly love any women? She’s special. She’s a superhero. He HAS to love her, right? It’s the best option he could ever possibly have. Well, at least considering…

But what happens when suddenly, he comes to the realization that him and Will ARE an option? And that the only thing ever stopping them was himself and his inability to just be honest with everyone and himself?

I think the truth is, there’s a reason that they’re holding off on this revelation for Mike. 

It will be a catalyst. It will change everything.

Now, how exactly do you think Mike is going to react to this? The fact that Will was in love with him this whole time and he had no idea?

Honestly, I think he’s going to react horribly, but not for the reason everyone assumes.

Because I would argue that, if Mike was going to react badly with disgust or even just let Will down nicely to confirm it’s indeed unrequited, then the Duffer’s would have just given this revelation up by now. But they haven’t.

Once Mike finds out that Will is (probably always will be) in love with him, and that instead of telling him, Will used his love to help Mike get closer to El, even when Mike himself was having doubts over and over? That Will went as far as to lie about the painting he worked so hard on for Mike in order to rekindle their dying friendship, to instead insinuate it was commission from El, to give Mike that final push he needed to even have the courage to tell El he loved her? That all the moments like this that they shared as of late, was really just Will talking about himself? That the only reason he was able to tell El he loved her in the first place, was because he was so moved by Will’s love for him??

This is going to break Mike.

And let’s be real here, two episodes would not have done this revelation justice. 

So now, just knowing the direction they went for Vol. 2, as well as coming to terms with it, I have reached the conclusion that, despite how bleak things seem now, ‘maybe all of this is happening for a reason’ (s2 Mike Wheeler, we miss u).

Which brings me to the other most important piece of the puzzle, which is that, arguably, El needs to be the one who ends things once and for all.

The general audience has been given the impression El is head over heels in love with Mike, and so of course they were rooting for Mike to get on with it and just tell her he loved her. 

But that’s the interesting part. He finally did tell her, but her reaction in the aftermath was not something a lot of fans expected. 

It seems that she’s distancing herself from Mike, a fact that Will acknowledges to Mike later at Hopper’s cabin, with Mike genuinely confused because he thought he did the one thing he had to do. 

He told her he loved her. Which makes everything alright now, right?

But maybe it doesn’t.

Maybe the reminder we got, of that speech from Max to El, about how she didn’t need Mike or Hopper or ANY man to know her worth, was foreshadowing for what honestly needs to happen in order for El to really process and realize her own true feelings about Mike.

Because, although I do believe El genuinely thought she loved Mike, is it possible that Mike was not only having doubts about saying it because of the reasons he argued, or even because of some repressed feelings for Will, but also because El hadn’t given him what he needed to truly believe she loved him.

Mike, like a lot of people, doesn’t need to hear “I love you” to believe that someone loves him.

“I didn’t say it.”

“You didn’t have to.”

He wants something more meaningful, or more specifically, something along the lines of the speech Will gave to him in the van.

Will’s confession disguised as El’s, was what Mike needed to finally say I love you to El... 

Something I think we also got caught up in, is this idea that the Duffer’s were just going to drop M*leven and throw in Byler, with everything else going on, while they still have a whole ass season to promote for another 3+ years, and to their mostly 80’s loving homophobic audience. If Byler is going to happen, it’s going to be the definition of slow-burn and endgame. That’s literally the only way. 

This puzzle is complex, which sucks if you want all the answers now, because we’re just not going to get them. If they give up all their moves, then what is the point of telling the story at all? 

Other pieces of the puzzle include things that arguably still need to happen before Byler can, even regardless of the constraints they have as show-runners who run the biggest show on Netflix’s dying platform. 

Things like Will and El’s love for each other as brother and sister. Considering all the fans that said Will hates El because he didn’t stand up to her bullies or that he’s a home-wrecker who just wants to get with her boyfriend, is why I do think they needed to debunk these insinuations within the narrative. And boy oh boy did they deliver on that front. Will is the most selfless son of a bitch on the planet, who loves his best friend and his sister so much. They made that very clear. And you can see that despite a few homophobes here and there, the general audience's reaction to Will in Vol 2 is sympathy and to Mike it's confusion and betrayal...

Hmm, making El realize she doesn't even love Mike, after making Will's unrequited feelings for Mike more clear, after making Mike behave like an IDIOT this entire time juggling these two relationships, only for him to become aware of whats going on, and to clearly be in love with Will?

Sounds like a good way to set up Byler to an audience that might not have humored it before...

And like I said, with how important I do think it was for this to happen in order for them to go the Byler route, is why I don’t necessarily see this approach as a bad thing. We even got the Will and El hug in 4x08, which maybe it’s just because Noah and Millie are so close, but I would easily rank that on my top most well-earned moments in the whole show.

We NEEDED that. Especially in terms of what is likely to come in season 5 with Byler endgame...

Also, yes the Will angst sucked and it's just trauma porn at this point. I’m not going to deny that fully. I agree with pretty much all of the criticism in regards to how they chose to do certain things when they didn't necessarily have to, but I also simultaneously am able to understand that it again, maybe this is all happening for a reason. If they are indeed going to have Will play a big role in the final season, than them forgetting his birthday, Mike being oblivious and all this other shit he's been through combined, sets up a really arc for him next season, not even necessarily a villain one, but all of this pain has the potential to lead to a happy ending. And I'm being full serious.

Like we have Finn Wolfhard saying the ending of Stranger Things will be like the ending of Schitt’s Creek??? That it will end at it's highest point. The last episode of Schitt’s Creek is literally a happily ever after gay wedding, there's no other way to interpret that…

We also know that a lot of ideas for the last seasons were planned from the beginning, with David Harbour saying that he knew the ending way back in s2 and that it's beautiful and has been the intended plan all along. That there's easter eggs that will have us going 'WOW this is what we've been watching the whole time'? That it's wonderful?

If you’re the level of Byler truther that believes they were somewhat planned all along from the beginning, then you would also know that if they plan a happy ending for Mike and Will, then they would have no problem killing us this painfully in the beginning of the end, because they know we’ll be the ones cheering on by the actual end, and it'll be the homophobes who are pissed and stuck with this result forever as endgame. 

I’m just saying, don’t be surprised when s5 gets closer and we actually see them promoting Byler… like a lot. And we actually start getting in canon hints at scenes with El herself even trying to get them together.

Groveling Mike Wheeler era?

Will finding a potential new love interest and Mike pining/jealous?

Come ONNN! You guys are way more delusional than you’re giving yourselves credit for and I urge you to join me!!!

[bastardtsukki]

OKAY i have collected my thoughts... first that save!

i actually kind of love that hinata was blocked because this moment shows so much growth. we know that hinata has improved insanely as a player and is always thinking like three steps ahead, to the point where he's his own decoy in receiving. but 4 some perspective compare this moment to the times hinata was blocked early in the series? his complete powerlessness against kitagawa daiichi in middle school, and then when he was blocked at the end of krsn vs seijoh and his eyes weren't even open. he hadn't even realized that he'd been blocked until the game was already over. and of course we all know how he learned to spike with his eyes open so that he could compete in the air, but to be in such complete control of his body that not only is he not powerless anymore but rather acutely aware even after being blocked, so much so he's able to retrieve the ball with his foot? im crying. and that little snippet of brazil to remind us that this is all thanks to his time there ;') as a former soccer player that little moment also made me !! because he is totally dribbling the ball without his hands in that panel, and it wouldn't surprise me if he played a few pickup soccer games in brazil... love 2 think about it

and it's just so Right that they won the game with bokuto's spike and hinata's decoy work. and just look at the huge smiles on their faces!!! aaaaa

now 4 all the little moments i loved:

yamaguchi and yachi insisting on going to tsukki's games! i love their friendship so much, and you know tsukki is going to appreciate their support as much as he's dismissive of it lol

FURUDATE IS BASICALLY TELLING US HERE THAT THEY'LL B BACK WITH A NEW STORY! as sad as i am that haikyuu!! is ending i am also super hyped to see what furudate-sensei will create in the future. but hopefully they take a nice long break first! because they totally deserve it lolw

this whole page fucked me up bokuaka canon kings but especially these panels. bokuaka soulmates! udai is like wtf... and like we've known for a while but this is further confirmation that it's not just bokuto who isn't normal, it's both of them! akaashi is just as weird! as different as they are from each other they r incredibly on the exact same wavelength and poor udai is just lost. who wants to bet that this interview will be completely useless. akaashi will present it for publication and his boss will b like akaashi...,honey i love you but this doesn't make any fucking cents

then there was this moment! everyone is in love with kiyoko! she's gorgeous! look at her smile! and i love that callback to nationals and her lil character arc ughhh kill me

anyways i don't need to even say how glad i am to see kuroo. and i gotta say i was not expecting him to b a sleazy volleyball promoting business man but... i get it lmao. and i just am !!! imagining this collab is driving me insane. and the sakuatsu crumb? i love it. (and anyway we won't talk about what happens when u crop out only the first two text bubbles)

and this line!!! callback to fukunaga!!!!!! when i said i miss fukunaga i knew we probably wouldn't see him again and yet with this line! i feel he's here in spirit ;')

AND THIS..... there r no words... their numbers........... japan......

also shoutout to sakusa flop

[thequeenkida]

My Thoughts on The Boys Season Finale

SPOILERS!!!

LOVED the finale!!! I'll sum up my thoughts by character alphabetically:

Annie: YAY! She's officially part of the team and now she and Hughie can be closer together! LOVED when she rose up into the air thanks to the power boost from Hughie! It was also good to see her shake off the person her mom forced her to be and now she can be who SHE wants to be!

Ashley: I feel bad. She's selfish and power-hungry but she's also running herself ragged serving Homelander. Good for her for deleting the footage of Maeve tho!

A-Train: It was sad to see his brother reject him like that but I completely understand his anger. It is kind of his fault. Question tho: was his brother not aware that he's killed people before i.e. Robin or did he just assume it was "collateral damage" and didn't realize how messed up that is until now? (It's possible he found justifications in his head or forgave A-Train because he's his brother.) Wonder what he'll do next season-hopefully work towards redeeming himself but I have my doubts.

Butcher: Yikes. I don't think he's really gonna die but we'll see. Maybe what happened with Ryan will finally show him you can't keep being cruel to people because not everyone wants to be treated like that. His method of preventing Hughie from killing himself is pretty on brand for him tho. He doesn't know how to get his point across without violence and he can't emotionally connect with people unless he puts them on a pedestal.

Frenchie: Good for him telling Butcher to fuck off! AND they need a dental plan! He and Kimiko are adorable! I'm glad he didn't die. I have a feeling we'll see Little Nina again...

Homelander: Fuck. This. Guy! I didn't think they would take him down because then a large part of the show is over-plus he could always just take more V. I want to scream at him "get away from that child!" every time he's with Ryan! Also fuck Todd!

Hughie: I loved that he didn't end up taking the Temp-V and realized that Annie can take care of things on her own. She just needs a little boost sometimes and he can be that support, but she doesn't need him to do things for her. And he was so proud of her! Also him helping evacuate people meant he was able to be a hero even without powers. And it ultimately reinforced what a good person he is. I also liked his monolog about his dad. He was the one who stayed! Raising a kid when you're dealing with heartbreak like that is not easy but he did it because he loves him!

Kimiko: Her dancing to "Maniac" and absolutely wrecking those dudes was very sexy of her! Like I said with Frenchie-they're so cute. Also good for her for slapping some sense into Frenchie! It's good to see them support each other tho!

Maeve: SO GLAD they didn't kill her! And I was SO HAPPY to see Elena back. Now Maeve is free! Also noticed how they called her a lesbian again in her memorial so good commentary that.

MM: I'm happy he realized his father's efforts weren't for nothing and he was still a hero for trying even though it was an unwinnable battle. He just has to make sure he doesn't forget about his family-which I know he won't because he loves Janine so much!

Neuman: Is her daughter okay?! I love that they're playing the long game with her tho. Hope she gets upped to main villain next season!

Noir: I'm heartbroken! There is a chance he could still be alive since we didn't see the world mourning him like they did Maeve and he's survived fucked up shit before.

Ryan: I'm worried! The whole time I kept screaming "someone take him out of the building!" Leave the poor kid alone!

Soldier Boy: Not surprised they didn't kill him off. They might want to use him again...

The Deep: He was just doing his own thing, on his failboy shit. Since he killed the almost VP he might feature more into the plot of next season so we'll see.

The finale was great, I'm happy with how everything came together, now hurry up and make season 4!

[anime-corner]

Unmiss You I Iwaizumi H.

A/N: So, I basically don’t know how it turned out like this... Not proud of this one though, kind of am? It’s honestly confusing. But hey, hope you like it!

Two A.M. At least that was the time that was shown on his phone. He couldn't remember how long since then. Or how it happened. He just knew that he fucked up.

The device rang in his hand, answering quickly, not bothering to check the caller I.D., hoping that it was you, "yeah?"

"Aww, Iwa-chan! That was quick! Did you miss me that much?" He scoffed, throwing the phone on his bed, the call on speaker as he laid back down, his arm draped over his eyes.

"What do you want, Oikawa?" He asked without the usual insult to the setter's name.

"Are you… still thinking about her?" The caller said, careful in his words, "Besides, it's what? Almost three? You're usually not up this early."

"Why do you care?" He huffed as he thought about it. He never did stay up late or woke up early unless it was to give Oikawa the support he needed. But this time it was different, he knew that, and that was because he was waiting for you.

"Geez, of course, I care! You're my best friend! And it's obvious that you're miserable without her." Oikawa could hear shuffling on the other end.

"What do I do then? She won't answer my calls o-or reply back to my messages." Iwaizumi held out a pillow, throwing it across the room in frustration, "Hell, I can't even get a glimpse of her without those crows stopping me!!"

"Maybe… She wants to move on?" It was silent for a few moments as he debated in his mind. Was she really?

"... I hope not. Because wouldn't it be unfair if… she gets to forget everything when all I want is to get her back?" He gripped onto his dark hair, tears threatening to spill, his firm look shattering to pieces, "She's all that I think about after that game. She's in my dreams, within my vision… I could even hear her at times but…"

"But what?" A heavy sigh left Iwaizumi's lips as he succumbed to his thoughts.

"You're right… Maybe, she doesn't want me back. I can't just rewind time to make it right. I can't go back to before I fell for her, to stop myself from meeting her and undo everything because I know that I'll just end up liking her. Loving her." It wasn't like him to act like this.

He was stubborn. He wouldn't stop at anything like a breakup. Instead, he'd do anything to get you back. But, with how he was right now, he doubts that he'd be able to. That's just what was running inside his head. Full of doubt and regret.

"It would have been easier that way…" Oikawa comments, giving out a sigh as well.

"Yeah, no shit. But like you said, maybe she wants to move on. And I just have to live with the fact that you can't easily unmiss a person you so badly miss." Iwaizumi let out a growl of annoyance, hearing noises from the other side of the screen,  "Oi Kusokawa, are you still listening!?!"

"Get up. Out of bed. I'll pick you up in thirty minutes." He had to blink a couple of times, trying to register the words of his friend.

"What do you mean you'll pick me up!? Oi, don't come over or I'll kick your ass!"

"Just do it, will you Hajime?" Iwaizumi mumbles incoherent words to himself, debating whether or not he should. In the end, he gives in.

"Whatever."

Forcing himself out of his bed, he dressed with what he thought was okay looking. A long sleeve grey shirt and ripped jeans, not bothering to look good for something Oikawa had planned for him. It was useless, he thought. A distraction was useless. A knock came as he opened it, the setter eyed his friend from top to bottom.

"You look like shit." Oikawa said as he went in, hands in his pockets.

"Yeah, thanks sherlock." He rolled his eyes, closing the door.

"What's with the outfit? Come on, I'll get you something else." The setter darted towards his room, opening the closet for something the dark-haired male to wear.

"Why are you here, Oikawa? I'm assuming you aren't here just to take my mind off of her." Iwaizumi questioned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Actually, I asked (y/n) if she could just hear you out. She'll be meeting us at the park." Oikawa admitted, already preparing for the worse.

"YOU DID WHAT!? YOU IDIOT! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!?" Hands wrapped around the collar of Oikawa's shirt, face dangerously close and seething with rage.

"Because you're both hurting! See for yourself!" He got out his phone, scrolling through the messages he and two of Karasuno's members had been exchanging, "Both Tobio-chan and that Small Fry has been sending me pictures of her during their practice and she's trying her best to cope, struggling just the same as you."

"Shut up Assikawa!! (y/n)... She doesn't want me back. If she did, we would have fixed our relationship by now." "I lost her because I messed up. And--" Oikawa threw a pair of jeans with an oversized dark blue denim jacket and a grey hoodie.

"Here. Wear this." It was also the same one he wore when they watched the game between Karasuno and Shiratorizawa, "That's what you wore on your first date, right?"

"I… yeah."

"Good. I'm sure she'd like it if you wore that instead. I'll give you ten minutes to freshen up." He left Iwaizumi to get ready, closing the door behind him, "Or at least, as much as you possibly can. Geez, I can't believe you're an emotional wreck!"

Was it okay? Was it okay to see you? Did you hate him? Or did you still care? Was there still a chance for the two of you to get back together? More questions than answers and honestly, he only wanted to know if you'd take him back again.

"Hey, are you really sure she'll be there?" He got out of his room, wearing the clothes Oikawa handed him.

"I'm sure but…" Looking at him up and down again, a smile on his lips. His usual cheerful and outwardly carefree expression was on his face, "Look at my Iwa-chan, all grown up and ready to get his girl back!"

"Shut up! This was your idea!"

"Huh? Does that mean you don't really plan on fixing all of this? Are you giving up?" Iwaizumi choked on nothing, that wasn't his intention. He wasn't giving up. He just didn't know how to.

"That's not…" He was struggling to get his words out.

"Just kidding, Iwa-chan~!" Oikawa received a hit behind the head, one of the usual violent punishments he would get from his best friend, "Gah! What'd you hit me for?!"

"Shut up!"

"Is your vocabulary only limited to that?"

"Shut up!"

The walk towards the meeting place was quiet. He was uneasy. What were you even expecting from him? A sorry? To beg for forgiveness? A hug perhaps? Because he'd be ready to give you anything and everything. Shit, he should have brought that scarf you made for him.

"Huh? She isn't here yet?" Oikawa looked around but you were nowhere to be found.

"I knew it. She hates me." The dark haired male crashed down on a nearby bench.

"Now, don't go all psychic on me Iwaizumi. I was only late." Standing up quickly as if he didn't drown in his sorrows sitting on that wooden seat.

"(y/n)!" The setter greeted, tackling you into a hug.

"Sorry Tooru, did I make you wait?" You asked, pulling away from his hold.

"Nope! We just got here. I had to make sure Iwa got all dressed up instead of coming here only in sweatpants. Or those nasty jeans I saw him wear when I got there." He shuddered when he felt Iwaizumi's glare hitting his back as he raised both of his hands, making his way to the sides, "Well, I'll be way over there before Iwa-chan hits me again!"

"So…" The both of you start, the male clearing his throat when you didn't open your mouth to speak.

"Uh, you go first." He gestured towards you as you shook your head.

"Tooru asked me to listen. Now, talk. I still have to help Kiyoko and Hitoka in handling the boys." Iwaizumi nodded, realizing what little time he had to explain.

"Right." He began, rubbing the back of his head, "Oikawa told me everything… that happened that day.

• • •

You have been meeting up with Oikawa for the past few days now. You planned on surprising him on your third anniversary and with his best friend's help, you knew he'd like it, especially if he and his team win against Shiratorizawa. Well, you want your team to win too, but can't choose which side you'd support so, you decided that whoever wins would avenge the other.

Aoba Johsai lost.

His team lost and you stood there at the balcony crying your tears out, both in frustration and happiness. The latter because of your team and the former for the loss. You excused yourself, looking for any of the third years in the team. And you happen to stumble upon Oikawa.

"Tooru!" You shouted, running towards the setter.

"(y/n)? Shouldn't you be with your team?" He asked, looking around for the crows. Or at least, his little rival other than Ushijima Wakatoshi.

"They'll understand why I left. But most importantly, how are the two of you? How's Hajime?" It was your turn to look for your boyfriend.

"I'm… not sure. Iwa-chan's probably with Mattsun and Makki. The others should be together." You nodded, grasping both of his hands in yours.

"I'm sorry for what happened, you were all really great! I promise we'll beat up Ushiwaka's ass for you two!" You declared, earning a chuckle from him.

"It's fine, (y/n)-chan." Oikawa ruffled your hair once you released his hands before remembering something, "Hey, why don't you give your present to him, I'm sure he'd like it especially when you've been at it for weeks. Isn't it your anniversary today? It'll help him a lot." You hugged the man in front of you, appreciating the help and support he has given you.

"I hope so. Ah well, thanks again for the help Tooru, I really appreciate it. I'm happy that Hajime has a friend like--" You were then cut off by a shout, your name echoing throughout the hall.

"(y/n)!!"

"Hajime! Great timing! I've got something--” You rushed towards him and was about to give him a hug when the look on his face made you stop.

“No. You don’t have to. I can see it perfectly clear.” Iwaizumi said as your brows furrowed.

“What do you mean?” You asked, glancing at the other two third-years behind him who only shrugged.

“What do I mean?! I should have known that you liked Oikawa from the start! We lost the game and the first person you went to find was him!? Unbelievable (y/n), unbelievable!” He bellowed, glaring at the two of you. His eyes were clouded with grief from losing and seeing you with his best friend triggered something he didn't want inside of him.

“W-what? That’s not true. Look, I just managed to bump into him and--” He cut you off again, his hands clenched tightly.

"Yeah okay, blame it on that!"

“Hey Iwaizumi, I think you should calm down a bit.” Hanamaki joined in, placing a hand on the shoulder of their vice-captain.

“Yeah, they were just talking. (y/n) was probably comforting him and asking for you.” Matsukawa added, getting ready to help his best friend if Iwaizumi ever decides to punch away his anger.

“Bullshit! I know what I saw! How do you explain those past few days huh?! I wanted to ask you out before the Interhigh and it so happened that I saw the two of you together. I ignored it because I trusted you!” He held back, not to get him and his team kicked out and bring shame to the school in his final year. Though it was painful, he knew he needed to get rid of it verbally, "If you wanted him then you should have said so from the start! I would have understood. So, I'm letting you go. That's what you want right? To be free from me?!"

"H-hey now, you don't mean that right? Why don't we take a seat a-and we'll talk this out, yeah?" You offered, walking towards him cautiously.

"Talk? You still want to talk?!! I'm done (y/n), okay!? Just leave me alone! I never want to see you ever again!" He lashes out, his emotions controlling every bit of his sanity.

“Idiot! You’re a total idiot!!” You screamed at him, closing your eyes in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. You don't want to let him see how weak he's making you, not in a situation like this.

“How did I become--!!”

“I asked Tooru to help me think up an idea for the gift I wanted to give you for our anniversary. He’s your best friend so I thought it was okay and that he’d be able to keep a secret. But surprise, surprise, you don’t like that kind of thing. You don’t need to be jealous of someone I don’t have feelings for! But hey, I guess you don’t trust me like you say you do!” Shuffling through your bag, you pushed an Aegean hued scarf with Olive colored horizontal lines near the fringe, “Here, take it. Burn it for all I care. We’re done.”

'Did she..? No wait, don't move. I'm sorry..' He thought, he couldn't voice the words out and even if he did, the damage was already done, 'Why can't I…? (y/n) please, let's talk…'

"Goodbye, Haji-- no, Iwaizumi-san…" Saying his last name added salt, tons of it, to the biggest wound ever inflicted on your heart. And on his too.

'I said don't go..! I can't reach you if you do. I can't feel myself, please don't go.' Again, the words wouldn't dare leave his mouth as he was also afraid that he'd say something wrong. He didn't dare blink, wanting to still see your figure within his vision, 'Let me see those hands again, I'll kiss it all better. Just don't leave me…'

"Oi, Oikawa!!" Suddenly he was on the floor with a bruised cheek and an angry setter in front of him, being held back by the other two they were with. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I get it that you're like that towards me but (y/n) didn't do anything wrong! She asked me for what you wanted and this is the thanks she gets!?" His grip on his collar was tight as he was still able to get close to him despite being held down by two of their friends, "You saw those bandages on her hands right? Well, she made that scarf all by herself just for you! She did that despite knowing nothing about knitting!"

"I…" He started but, as if you were still there, the words he so wanted to stay retreated back down his throat.

"What!? You what, Iwaizumi!!?" Oikawa snapped, almost on the brink of insanity like how Iwaizumi was before you left, "Got anymore bad things to say about her!?!"

"Zip it, will you?! I know that she didn't do anything wrong! It's just my fucked up and tired self making all the excuses!" He looked down, burying his face in his hands.

"Y-you could still run after her. I'm sure she'd--" One of them said, patting his back.

"She won't. Six years and never did she go against her word once she's made up her mind. It'll take a shit load of convincing but, I doubt she'd want me back." He gave out a huff, walking away until his best friend stopped him.

"Then you've just got to be stubborn like usual and try your best." Oikawa spoke, pumping the depressed Iwaizumi up.

"Huh? Ah, y-yeah…"

• • •

"How long has it been since you last slept?" You asked him, caressing his cheeks with your thumb as he leaned into your touch.

"What?" He blinked a couple of times before sighing, "I slept, maybe for just a few hours before waking up again because every time I close my eyes, that face you gave me that day keeps coming back to me and…"

"And?" He didn't want to tell you but, this would be the chance that he couldn't take hold of on that day.

"And there's this stupid scene that keeps playing in my dreams, during that fight we had, you left and when I saw you again, you were so happy with someone else and that broke me." He wanted to cry but all he could do was ball his fists with his brows furrowed in anger. Anger towards himself and his stupid decisions, "My last words to you that day was to leave me alone. That I never wanted to see you again. But, I was wrong. I still want you here by my side. I still want to see you. I still want to hear your voice every morning after I wake up and every night before I sleep just like before."

"Iwaizumi…" You started but your words just went in one ear and out the other as he continued.

"What I'm saying is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I fucked up. That my jealousy got in between the two of us. It was dumb of me and Oikawa's supposed to be the childish one." He chuckled bitterly, mostly to himself. Now that he spoke his mind, it was silly of him to feel that way. To feel, was it inferiority? "I guess I still wasn't used to being the one getting the attention instead of him who's always surrounded by fangirls everywhere. Or believe in the idea of someone who would actually love me and not use me just to get to him."

"Iwaizumi, never in my life was I attracted to him. You know that right? I told you this once before." He held both of your hands, placing the other on his cheek. It was as if he was touch deprived and wanted to make up for the times he was away from you.

"I know. It's just that… letting you go that day was the hardest thing I've ever done. I couldn't even stop you, I just stayed there. I tried, believe me, I tried but I couldn't. I wanted to make you stay. But losing my last game in high school and all my emotions were over the place that it took a toll on me." Iwaizumi admitted. Sighing for who knows how many times now.

"It's okay. I understand." He stared at you, confusion written all over his face.

"No, you don't! I'm not blaming this on my loss. I'm blaming this on myself, for doubting you. You've been loving me so right despite studying in different schools and all I did was hurt you! Days after we broke up, I've been feeding myself these useless reasons not to see you, telling myself that you're mad at me and that you don't need me anymore. I'm sorry. Please hate me…" He was crying, he didn't care anymore if anyone saw him so… vulnerable. You wiped it all away, a smile on your lips.

"Hajime." You started. It was the first time in weeks since he last heard you say his name, "I love you."

"W-what?" These words were the least he expected to come out of your mouth but, he wasn't complaining either.

"You heard me. I love you." You repeated before you giggled, "Sure yeah, you were totally an ass for not listening to me but it doesn't change the fact that I still love you. And I also heard from Tooru that you haven't been like yourself since that day, my fault entirely. I should have thought about what your reaction would be.

"You know… I tried to come up with tons of reasons to just give up, so we both wouldn't have to hurt like this. It would have been easier for both of us. But, I can't. I don't want things to be easy between us. Everything you do makes me fall for you over and over, deeper than the last time. And hearing you say that you still love me, makes me realize that I should have tried even harder." Iwaizumi hugged you tightly, afraid that this was all a dream and was about to wake up. Or was he going soft just for you? Because it was obviously not because of Oikawa.

"So, what do you want to happen to us? What's your call?" You asked looking up at him.

“What’s this? Are you two okay now?” The childish devil on Iwaizumi's shoulder popped in between the two of you, “You are! That’s great! I’ll tell them right now--!”

“You, hanger bastard! I’ll beat you up--” He was about to give Oikawa a piece of his mind when he heard your voice echo in his ear.

“Hanger bastard? What’s with the new insult?” You laughed out loud, the wing spiker smiled, missing the sound, "Where'd you get that?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow, I'm sure Mattsun and Makki want to get a say in this too." He suggested, receiving a nod from you.

"Hey Iwa-chan, you guys don't have to diss me every time you get jealous!!" Iwaizumi scoffed, ignoring the setter.

"Anyways, I'll fetch and take you home after practice. We've got a lot of catching up to do." He offered, intertwining both of your fingers together, “We can even start now, I’ll walk you to Karasuno.”

"I'd like that, Hajime."

I gave you my heart and I don't regret not taking it back. My attention is yours and no one else's from the beginning until the end.