#fucking adopted him like the sad pathetic little wet cat that he his

[ranseiuniter]

dash is asleep post blorbos....... this is my beautiful boy Cain, necromancer, deeply cursed, decidedly Did Not Ask For Any Of This but is Bound By Plot. (Honestly he doesn't get what's so bad about necromancy like guys seriously if these bones have just been sitting here why SHOULDN'T I use them?)

[satowooo]

A DAY IN THE LIFE... WITH A CAT

Wherein Sukuna takes care of your cat for a day, despite his indifferences with it.

warning: animal cruelty

Your boyfriend, Ryomen Sukuna, is obviously not very fond of cats. Or to any living and breathing creature at all. But most especially your cat.

Sukuna hates it. Despise it even. He wishes it to be gone with just one flick of his finger just so the silly furball wouldn't take his time away from you. He hopes it'll get tired of you and run away someday because why are you always up on its face?

But then, that would make you sad. So he won't actually do anything to harm it, as much as he can.

To Sukuna, your cat is the most unearthly being that has ever walked on earth. Always tailing you around like a constant shadow, a menacing shadow. He dislikes it so much that it gets more of your attention than his.

“So cute!”

Sukuna watches the way your eyes glint in delight, squealing and feet kicking in the air while you're turned to your stomach right by the floor, playing with the little kitten you adopted. You had the most beautiful and widest grin spread on your face, and all because of an animal.

You can't seriously be so happy over that?

It has been a month since that kitten entered your life, and you hadn't been the same since. Well, you are the same, it's just Sukuna being exaggerated.

Why wouldn't he? You barely even look at him anymore because you're too focused on doting and feeding that animal, to the point that he's already making it a silent competition between him and the kitten about who wins your affections. And the cat wins every time. Every fucking time.

You're so head over heels about the white-furred kitten and he will never understand why. It's just another responsibility for you, another creature that will just distract you from your daily living, the daily living in question being the time that you're supposed to be doing with him instead.

“Look, Kuna!” You cheered, holding the cat by its arms to show the kitten to him, the said animal wearing small little glasses that would fit its little face.

Sukuna could only sneer, a frown obviously etched in his lip. “He looks pathetic. Get him out.”

“That's mean. Don't listen to him.” You turned the cat to face you and covered its ears, as if it'll understand what Sukuna says. The cat in return hisses at Sukuna, which made him scoff in disbelief.

Why are you even treating the kitten like a real baby? It looks so ugly!

But despite his inner thoughts, he actually finds himself caring for the cat, begrudgingly.

It's a furry dirty cat. He would only bring chaos all around your shared apartment. It probably doesn't even know how to clean itself. Sukuna would always think.

But he never really had a choice whenever you're gone at home, and he's left tending to the cat’s crazy needs.

“Will you fucking stay still?” Sukuna holds the cat by its scruff, not too tight though, just enough to hold him up to meet his gaze. The white kitten was all wet after Sukuna just gave him a bath. It meowed at him helplessly, making him smirk to finally see it in distress. “You're a handful, kitten. Why does she like you so much?”

This must've been the longest day for him yet, with you leaving Sukuna with the task to shower the kitten in your place because you'll be out the whole day. Who's he to disobey you anyway?

He wrapped the kitten in a towel, then took him by the counter. He let it sit there for a moment while it was licking its paws, while he rummaged through the cabinets to look for the hair dryer that you always used for the cat. Once he had it in hand, he faced the kitten again, his eyes glaring at the small creature who's just looking at him curiously.

This? This is the cat that you fawn over? He looks even ugly when he's drenched.

He could only shake his head at the thought, before plugging in the hair dryer so he could do his work. The cat tried to run away when he pulled him close, the hair dryer making a loud blowing sound as he fanned it all over the cat's body. A smile would tug on Sukuna's lips, finding the cat's helpless state funny whenever it meows in discomfort at his presence.

Well, let's just say it wasn't a very pleasant experience for the poor animal. As much as it is for Sukuna.

“Yeah, you look horrible. I know.” He chuckled darkly, gazing at the now dried-and-furry-again cat, all thanks to him.

He carried the cat and put it down the floor, letting it run away. He sighs, brushing a tired hand on his nape before he goes over to slump on the couch, resting his eyes for a moment. He could hear the thumps of the kitten running around, stumbling over who knows what, but he couldn't care less. Right now, Sukuna needs to have a moment. It was surely a new experience for him, and something that he will never do again.

It didn't take long for the kitten to go back to him though. It easily jumped on the couch, climbing straight to his lap. He groaned, feeling the cat tapping its little paws on his skin, opening his eyes to see it looking at him, expecting, or perhaps, asking for something?

“What do you want now?”

The kitten meowed, before jumping off his lap and heading straight to a little cabinet by the wall, where his cat food was hidden.

Oh, it's smart. He'll give him that.

“You're hungry?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at it. “Go starve yourself.”

Which wouldn't happen really, because the kitten started meowing furiously at him, which jolted all his senses awake. He cursed underneath his breath, letting out a grunt, standing up so he could give whatever the thing that the creature needed.

It was a very long and tiring day for him indeed. But at the end of the day, he's got the cat settled right above his chest, and he's petting its head softly as it lets out a purr. The cat’s tail would brush across his wrist, a sign that the cat must've been pleased with the gesture.

“I'll let you live longer.” He frowned, a low huff escaping from his lips as the cat only looked at him. “Just remember your place in this house.” Flicking the cat’s forehead softly as a finality, before he pushes it off and lets it fall on the floor, the cat swiftly landing on its feet.

After all, his pleasure is not his top priority, but yours. So, if keeping you happy would mean having this little cat between the two of you, then he might just let it for a while. For a while. Maybe. Depends if the cat crosses a line.

[threehuskiesinatrenchcoat]

- we're very attached to each other so unfortunately i cannot my deepest apologies

- like a solid 7 I’ve never touched a chinchilla but I have touched a kitten and he’s like a little less soft than a kitten but softer than an average dog cuz he has a super thick undercoat

- he’s half husky half german shepherd exactly 50-50 cuz his parents are purebred and decided to fuck around and see what happens

- we find it funny too lol. they’re like siblings. the cat’s name is рюмка which is russian for shot glass and she’s the daughter of @instantpartykidrascal and I keep telling everyone that she’s a certified asshole (affectionate) with a personal vendetta against me specifically but no one believes me

additional fun facts cuz I feel like it and um. who’s gonna stop me

- he’s the sole reason I can do push ups. sled dog go brrr on walks. 2 years of this did something no workout routine of mine could even accomplish

- he brings me his toys when I’m sad and just leaves them in a pile next to me and puts his head on my lap and just sits like that until i feel better

- husky side won. he’s a chatterbox. and he screams instead of howling but only when he thinks he’s alone.

- I adopted him when he was 8 months old and he was untrained and looked like a pathetic wet puppy. he’s 3 now, still a quirky asshole (as most huskies are), but we have mutual love and respect, and he grew up to be a handsome distinguished gentleman.

- deathly afraid of nail clippers but an 8 inch industrial grade metal file is okay for some reason. if you dare to touch him with nail clippers in your hand he’s gonna run away screaming and whining like he’s about to be murdered

- he’s always shedding no matter how much you groom him. you can brush out enough fur to needle felt a smaller dog

- my next door neighbour fucking hates us and he’s probably the only person I’ve seen this sweetest playful little boy be openly hostile towards every time. there’s good reasons but it’s still weird to me how sometimes he just walks up to the door and starts barking and growling and I instanly know who just passed by

- learns new tricks very fast but REFUSES to do them unless he knows for sure he’ll get a treat out of it

- once stole and ate an entire casserole and gave himself away by hiding under the table and making his I’m so sorry I’m guilty face. I wouldn’t have noticed otherwise. I passed by him twice without noticing and decided to check if something’s wrong just because he looked super guilty

- knows what he’s not supposed to do. does it when I’m not looking. beelines straight to my bed and sits there with the most innocent good boy face he can muster. same thing if he’s bugging someone else and I just. stand up from my chair. look I’m a perfectly well-behaved little guy and they’re LYING even though you were in the same room the whole time.

- has the biggest fucking sweet tooth ever and I have to hide everything sugary or he WILL get to it. if he’s allowed to lick vanilla ice cream once he’s on cloud nine. unfortunately he’s not supposed to eat sugar and like me (and dogs in general) he’s cursed with lactose intolerance so it’s a rare occurrence.

- once spent like almost an hour playing by digging a hole, putting a ball in it, digging it out, repeat. honesly I get you little dude, I also love performing repetitive tasks

- he’s a huge clutz and has too much energy but he instantly gets still and so gentle when little kids approach him it’s so adorable

- makes a really comfy pillow

@instantpartykidrascal said that i'm my dog's scary dog privilege and i'm inclined to agree because this little guy has the friendliest face ever seen on a dog his size and literally no one is scared of him ever and i look like i'm 2 seconds away from committing manslaughter at all times