#fuck you walmart/j

[doubletaileddoubletrouble]

Does anyone have any cool project ideas? I finally finished cleaning up around here, and now I have nothing to do but stare at the ceiling.

No, dealing with any of my current social problems does not count. One- No 🧡 Two, everyone is prolly asleep anyway.

[diagonal-queen]

when i find my josephine i'm going to write them so many poems and love notes they'll be drowning in dreamy and romantic prose

[v6quewrlds]

❝ all yours, j. burrow. ❞  ‎ ‎ ┉  

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀summary: nyla's latest single is making waves. the audience has questions for her elusive boyfriend, joe burrow.

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀author's note: requested by an anon! i felt bad about not being able to finish the joe/tee fic, so i made this. wanted to try something different so i went the smau route, hope you like it <3 this is somewhere between y/n & oc, think of nyla as a stage name i guess lmao

‎ ‎ ⁎⠀┉⠀pairing: joe burrow x r&b singer!oc [fc: lori harvey].

nylaupdates just posted .ᐟ

liked by nyla and 26,726 others

nylaupdates: "all yours", the first single from nyla's third upcoming studio album releases at 12am eastern time tonight.

view all 297 comments

user1 REAL vocalists are back!! 🤭

user2 this cover??????

user3 oh skin is tea! -> user4 i see that la roche posay check hit 🙂‍↕️

-

nyla added a photo to her story .ᐟ

[caption: "all yours" is now all yours 🤎]

view story replies.

joeyb_9: lyrics 💯🤎 -> nyla: do we have a fav line?

joeyb_9: this kitty got that midas touch... sounds familiar -> nyla: inspired by a little something you might have said once or twice

joeyb_9: i cannot be held responsible for what i say under your influence -> nyla: whatever u say joey 🤎

lahjay10_: mm ah mm ah 😁 -> nyla: mm ah mm ah 😁

jjettas2: i have a question. ✋🏾 -> nyla: no 🤎

jjettas2: could you please explain what i did to deserve such an explicit description of one of my best friend's sexual abilities?

jjettas2: love the song btw 🤟🏾

jjettas2: been bumpin it since this morning ngl

jjettas2: broooooo i just seen you add another post to your story 😑

-

-

nyla just posted .ᐟ

liked by renee_downer, justineskye, and 836,927 others

nyla: familiar.

view all 4,473 comments

user11 maam we have to discuss those lyrics -> user12 clock it! cus "make it icin'"??? MAKE WHAT?!

ryandestiny stunna -> nyla 💎💎

jjettas2 album when -> jjettas2 miss big time can't respond huh -> user13 my goat is in his bsf gf's comments begging for a response 😒 -> nyla smh 😮‍💨 they don't make 'em like they used to... -> jjettas2 😐

joeyb_9 very familiar -> nyla gang -> user14 this man ain't even like the pic but somehow... here he is... 2 mins after she posted... -> user15 LMAO down horrendous -> user16 this is romance. -> user14 idk what's worse: the fact that he was here immediately, or the fact that it took him 2 mins to come up with "very familiar" -> user16 def the second one 😭

teehiggins album when 🫢 -> nyla soon soon soon -> jjettas2 man fuck yall

-

joeyb_9 just posted .ᐟ

liked by nyla, realgrantdelpit, and 762,937 others

joeyb_9: offseason in paris

view all 3,882 comments

user17 just fell to my knees in the walmart parking lot

user18 😍😍😍

user19 what a handsome young man ☺️

nyla "serving offseason realness" -> joeyb_9 ? -> user20 LMAOOOO

user21 nyla i understand i really really do -> user22 she may tell you a joke... -> user23 but NEVER A LIE!!

user24 goo goo ga ga -> nyla girl-

-

nyla just posted .ᐟ

liked by joeyb_9, gigihadid, and 1,297,581 others

nyla: familiar, july 17th.

view all 10,294 comments

user25 did she just? -> user26 name her album after that fuckass thread? yes. -> user27 cryingggggg

jjettas2 i've been waiting for times like this 🤌🏾 -> user28 she's not gonna respond bro -> user29 he's just tryna get noticed 😔 -> nyla 🤷🏾‍♀️ -> jjettas2 you know what...

-

-

joeyb_9 just posted .ᐟ

liked by bengals, nyla, and 726,048 others

joeyb_9: icing on the cake 🍒

view all 3,972 comments

user36 what did he sayyyyy?

user37 i have no one to talk about this with

user38 jump fuckin' scare -> user39 he's so unserious

user40 just casually dropping that cute ass pic... okay then 👍 -> user41 asf

nyla my man? my man. my man! -> jjettas2 7 stages of grief ass comment -> nyla ykw buy your own tickets to the tour -> user42 TOUR???? -> nyla international ✈️✈️✈️ -> jjettas2 fuck the tour, you choose to respond now? cool smd -> joeyb_9 🥴 -> nyla 🫶🏾

[crazylittlejester]

My thoughts on you based on your favorite LU Link

(this is ENTIRELY for shits and giggles and is meant to be funny, not insulting or rude. these are broad generalizations and every single one of you is awesome and theres more to you than just this, and this may not even be accurate. this entire thing is /j)

Wind: You’re either close to his age and relate because you too have undiagnosed ADHD (and you probably play roblox /pos), or you just think he’s adorable and will defend him with your life and there’s zero in between. Keep loving your special guy

Four: “Most Normal” in your friend group but that’s just because everyone else is more outwardly insane than you are. You’re just quiet. Don’t worry, I see you’re crazy, I love you 🫶

Wild: You probably found LU because of BOTW, AND THAT’S NOT A BAD THING. You like to see the blorbos suffer, and yknow what I respect you for it

Legend: *cough* Theater kid /pos. You’re either chill about him or absolutely crazy, but none of you are normal. For like, 50% of you: It’s okay I won’t tell anyone that your screen time report said 22 hours, but put the monster energy down and go to bed for the love of god. For the other half: So this is the Warrior Cats Kid’s final form /pos

Hyrule: You fight tooth and nail for content of your special little guy. You have the energy to me of someone who’s definitely gotten lost somewhere but decided to just wander around for a bit anyway and hoped for the best. It worked out fine for you, you found your way out of the Walmart, and you found cool trinkets on the way. You’re just here to be silly, I love you

Sky: All of you are somehow the nicest person I’ve ever met in my life but ALL of you are insane. You also care very very deeply about your friends

Twilight: Your friends love you i PROMISE. Also at least 40% of you have owned or still own a wolf shirt

Warriors: C’mere. Take my hand, and let me show you something. Therapy. It’s on me, I’ll pay for the both of us. Nope, nope, shhhhhh. I’m sorry everyone around you doesn’t see the person you really are, you’re epic and resilient as FUCK

Time: Here, it’s on the house *slides you a ticket to free therapy for an entire year* You’re very smart don’t let anyone tell you you’re not. You’re also a bit insane, i fear. Also? Go to bed, plz

[alluring-starzzz]

VENOM NSFW ABC

Oh em gee! My first post : a simple venom x reader nsfw abc to get this whole tumblr thing started! 🤙

Gentle reminder that these are JUST my headcannons and aren’t meant to be taken to heart if anything is inaccurate to the character!

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Venom is actually capable of empathetic emotions, so with you he’d be quite caring and get you whatever you need, maybe even run you a warm ( or cold if you like that ) bath and wash you up.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

During sex, I’d say his favourite part of himself would be that tongue of his. On you, his favorite part would probably be your tits / chest. Adores seeing bite marks and hickeys all over your chest the next morning.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

It’s oddly.. grayish? It’s like, tinted. If you sniff enough you can smell a faint faint smell. His cum is quite thick, too, probably has a thing for creampies.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has 100% fucked you on a rooftop during the day or in secluded public places, but he has fantasized about ravaging you infront of a full on *crowd.*

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Symbiotes reproduce asexually, so he has actually never fucked anyone before you, but let’s just say you got him hooked. 🤭

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Reverse cowgirl and doggy style just so he can get as deep as he can into you. He wants you to feel absolutely everything, and he wants to feel it all too.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Although degrading, he makes a few hilarious jokes here and there. He likes to humiliate you sometimes with his jokes just to see you get all flustered.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He has no hair at all, so I guess the carpet matches the drapes, LOL.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’s caring and wants you to have the time of your life. He always asks if he went too far afterwards.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

His species ( symbiotes ) reproduce asexually, so he’s never really thought about it before.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Voyeurism, dirty talk, sensation play, brat taming, humiliation, degradation, exhibition.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

A lot of people I’ve talked about before usually enjoy strictly the bedroom, but Venom *loves* the thrill and feels alive in high-risk situations. He loves when you two fuck in public ; sex clubs, park bathrooms, hiking trails, nude beaches, rooftops, in your car in a Walmart parking lot.. Fuck, you name it and he’ll be ON IT!

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

If you tease him in public or kiss his neck he’ll go insane, feral, even. He’s impulsive and will immediately drag you to the nearest bathroom even if you meant it as a joke.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

👏 FIRE 👏 PLAY. 👏 That is literally his weakness as a symbiote and will NEVER do it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He *loves* giving, especially with that long ass wet tongue of his. He could wrap it easily around your cock / can go as deep as you can fathom inside you. He knows exactly how to use it, too. Loves to overstimulate you and edge you. He’s also fine with receiving too, but would much rather give.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough, for sure. He’s massively hypersonic and can go so fast you can’t think. Makes you *cry.*

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

We all know venom is impulsive. He’ll definitely be down if you were to ask in almost any given time. Doesn’t do it too often, although.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

YES. 100000% YES. He loves risks, the thrill makes his blood run cold and he fucking *loves* it. He’s game to experiment as long as it doesn’t make him uncomfortable or hurt you too bad.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last for as long as you want, baby. But he knows you’ll tap out quickly, he knows how to tire you out and have you completely satisfied after.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He’s impulsively bought a few… when I said a few I mean a *lot.* He uses them on both himself and you. Also loves getting you lingerie or costumes.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s a teasing master, he knows exactly how to make you go absolutely stupid.. but he’s impatient so it doesn’t last long haha.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s moderate. He makes feral growls, groans, and hisses through his sharp teeth. It makes your stomach turn and twist everytime.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He knows when someone’s lying and when they’re being truthful.. so he specifically asks you questions he knows you’ll lie about or deny just to punish you. He also encourages you to have people join in, he loves having you get all the pleasure you can get.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Dude.. He’s 7’6 and 500 pounds… his dick is HUGE. GIRTHY. LONG. 😭

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Wasn’t extremely high before he met you, but as soon as he learned what intimacy was first hand... oh man.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I don’t think venom can sleep, ( can he ? ), so he just lets you go to bed and caresses you throughout the night.

[shakirawastaken]

dsmp if....they fell in love with you at first sight

lowkey this sucks im so sorry but number 6 has been written  dream:

- this happened before he face revealed - so he went out to the grocery store or smth with a mask and sunglasses so if anyone recognized him they wouldn't like see what he looked like - pulled a ranboo fr - anyway he entered the cat food aisle looking for the best cat food for patches our beloved - and was so enthralled in the cat food that he didn't hear you walk by with your cart trying to get past the aisle - "excuse me sir can u please move???" "*is looking at cat food*" "sir?" "OH IM SO SORRY" - moves immediately but not before he makes eye contact with you through the glasses - his eyes widen comically, he thinks ur gorgeous - takes advantage of that fact that you cant see his eyes and continue to admire your face as you laugh and wave ur wrist in the air, swatting away the awkward interaction just like that - you walk away and he forces his mind to go back to the cat food - but god ur imprinted in his brain and he knows he cant just let you leave - so he grabs whatever cat food he sees and runs around the store looking for you - sees you leaving and went "NOPE" - in his head - RUNS to you but slows down before he gets to you so u don't fucking murder him - "hey uh" "oh hi!" "i thought you were really cute...and i couldn't just let u leave the store without tryna get ur number" "oh :) thanks! but idk what u look like.." "right" - whips that shit off in the middle of walmart mask off challenge succeed - ur face: :O - "yeah u can have my number" "LETS GO" - speedran that shit basically

sapnap: - met u in highschool me thinks - in the peak of his i play minecraft everyday era - just showed up at school to be there yk - and you were there but never really interacted with him - until one day you had to sit next to him in english class - life OVER for him tbh he made eye contact with you and nodded like an idiot as you introduced yourself - “wow ur pretty im nick” *facepalmed internally*  - youre like aw - u become friends - seating chart friendships and romances >>> - now he actually has a reson to go to school events like hoco and prom and stuff - “sorry dream ive got to to go homecoming” “motherfucker with who?” - you ask him to hoco as friends cause yk he hasnt been out much and he gratefully accepts - awkward dancing in the back - as the year progresses the two of you keep in contact even as you got moved apart in the class you sat next to - you met dream and george that was nice - prom came around and he new brother knew he had to do SOMETHING - so he made a prom posal that was like “will you be MINE(craft) at prom” or something like that  - and u were like “finally” - fast forward some years and ur doing whatever u want and hes doing what hes doing now - he never formally asked you out but its implied youve been dating for years - this one sucked mb

george: - god the british  - hate them/j - youre not british in this story okay  - and if ur british irl,,,im sorry for ur ailment/j - ANYWAY - youre a tourist ur visiting the good old u of k - ur in london obv - and george never leaves his flat there - except to get groceries - so he walks to the nearest grocery store bc he literally cant drive - and bumps into you its the classic omg so sorry i bumped into you romance - except he thought that was awkward and kinda went “sorry” looked down at the ground and sprinted forward - you were like “the british are.....odd”  - george then realized that was worse and turned around to apologize to you - and then fell in love with you - u were taking a picture on ur camera of just like the scenery of london - and we like “omg theyre cute and they appreciate the little things” - gets on discord and texts sapnap “im in love” and then sapnap goes “me too with ur mom” - logs off discord now - walks up to you sheepishly and was like “haha sorry for doing that it was a dare by my friend” and u were like “its ok:)” ad then hes like “yk what isnt a dare” and u were like “hmm what” and he was like “me asking for your number cause ur so cute” - and u were malfunctioning cause u didnt expect cute british man to ask you on a date while u were in the u of k - but u said yes and then he realized ur accent and was like “ar eyou not british” and u were like “no.” and he was like “thats okay! im skilled with long distance relationships ;)”  - unknowingly flirts with you  - you skull emojied and then joined him on his trip to the grocery store IDK this one was bad im sorry 

karl: - YOURE IN A MR BEAST CHALLENGE - oh oh OH the amount of things in my brain running through - anyway u were a subscriber of Mr jimmy beast so he was like "come be in a video" - its one of those last to leave the circle loses - each cast member is paired with a participant and whoever wins gets 50,000 and the cast member gets like 10,000 or smtn - and jimmy had them all pick a name out of a hat to make it simple - and karl didn't pick u - nolan did - but when they walked out to meet the participants and karl made eye contact with you for a split second - god he fell right there - couldn't help but imagine what loving you would be like - knew he wanted to experience that - but he couldn't do that if he wasn't even paired with you - so he BEGS nolan to switch - "dude please cmon" "what do i get out of it??" "if i win ill give you the money" "oh shit ok" - now he's paired with you HE MASTERMINDED THAT SHIT LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT - anyway you were like "shit he's cute ill win now" - ur dynamic is amazing jimmy loves it for the video - the whole time u both are playfully flirting and just being yourselves around each other its amazing - he tries to cheat to help you LOL but gets caught with a sheepish smile on his face - that's when u fall i swtg - anyway - the filming for the video goes for like 2 and a half days so you spend a lotttt of time with karl dearest - you lose in the end tho bc in ur sleep u accidentally kicked ur foot outside the circle - you're a bit defeated - after thanking u all jimmy sends you off - and u smile and thank him and karl and head off - but then you hear a "PIT PAT PIT PAT" of feet slapping concrete behind you - "wait can i have ur number? :)" "i thought you wouldn't ask :)" and u give him ur number number for number - jimmy mischievously smiles in the background before returning to his beast lair

quackity: - LAW SCHOOL LAW SCHOOL LAW SCHOOL YOU MET THERE STOP STOP STOP - stop college romances kill me for real - guys - k I'm good - met at orientation i feel - or not met - he laid eyes on you from across the room and he was like oh shoot this place is better than i thought it would be - LOL - runs across the whole room to snag the seat next to you - "hey I'm alex, whats your name?" "oh I'm y/n!" - bro squealed inside - "i like ur name!" "thanks :) urs is nice too" - u both talked for the rest of the welcome ceremony thing - compared schedules and had...nothing together for the first semester - thATS OK you still exchanged numbers - and you kept talking and hanging out even if u didn't have class - but as friends. - AAAAAAAAAAAAA you fell for him somewhere in the middle but both of you were like - we need to finish law school first in your heads - so u both skated on the line between romance and friends - like the song boyfriend by ariana grande - but when the end of law school was in sight? quackity didn’t waste a single second - BAM got ur number BAM took u on a date BAM yk 

wilbur: - fell in love with you at first sight except you didnt see him he just saw you - here’s the thing right hes the biggest hamilton fan - so when he went to see hamilton with tommy and all them - YOU WERE THERE you were in the cast you played angelica/eliza/peggy literally one of the three female main characters - ANYWAY you were screaming the lyrics to one of the songs and wilbur kinda just went “woah” - didnt see anyone else on the stage but you when you walked out  - tommy was like “did u see the bullet wil” and he wa slike “no” - forced tommy to stage door after the show - prayed to all the theater gods that you came outside  - when you did? game over for him - he stood there stawstruck awstruck jawstruck  - aND the same happened for you!!! bc u knew who he was ofc - u had a lovejoy poster in ur dressing room duh - so by the time you came round to him and tommy you were like “heheheh” and giggling “hi omg im a big fan of your music and stuff :)” and he was like “mIne?”  - his voice cracked - you giggled and you both took pictures with each other on your phones - then u invited him backstage  - and he wa slike LHJSKHFSDFKGHJERT - LEFT TOMMY AT STAGE DOOR - you showed him around including on stage - and this went on for a while hed just show up a stage door and youd let him in - one day you were both on the stage and he started humming helpless and you both started dancing - and then he was like “i rlly am helpless for you, id like to try and make this something more if ur up for it” - and you were like WOOOOOO yk 

[comfymoth]

Trick or treat!

It is I…the grand wizard of wicks! I trim all the candles’ wicks at Walmart too short, so the first lighting always cramps your hand when you go to light it! 🪄🧙‍♂️🕯️

WICK WIZARD THAT’S SO FUCKED UP WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT D:

well, since you Are a wizard though, here, take some of the really early witch leon doodles :J waaay back before i made quinn a calico

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

Jooyeon XH smutty hcs pt.1

A/n: where to start with this man hmmm also don’t pay any mind to the pics they were done really fast

warningz/ info: obviously smutty lol, kissing, mentions of giving head, jooyeon oral fixation if you squint, this is written badly since it was in my drafts for so long, talk of marking up your partner, i think that’s it!

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper”. This is in no way is meant to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone~

THIS IS SMUT SO PLEASE MINORS DNI

•••••••••••••••••••

firstly, I think he’d be a bottom. Honestly try to change my mind on this one, nah you can't. well, at least most of the time a bottom. So yeah a sassy kinda bratty bottom lmao

like sure he'll have his moments but they're pretty much far in between.

Hes also a complete nibbler when he hugs. Like, mostly nibbles your neck or ear lobe. Which I guess isn't really nsfw in itself buttt still do with that what you will

number 1/2 out of this group that when ya'll are making out he’ll excuse himself to the bathroom like twice. And youre like ??? like yeah of corse you understand what hes doing that its just that after yall have already broken the ice in that area/ yall have made each other cum like a multitude of other times so needless to say its kinda confusing why hes taking care of himself when you're right there?? It’s just like how he was before yall two took that step. *sigh*

He's just pretty much always gonna be a shy little baby and probably won’t initiate much

hes a little worried that you don’t want— no, need him as much as he needs you. You’ll just have to show him

and probably takes a minute to understand how you practically start fucking dripping at the sight of the tent in his pants.

how you want noting more than to run your hands down the expanse of his back

how—how—how—

speaking of his back… you scratch it and he’ll be in heaven. Wants to wear them proudly. Or like hickies???? Yeah that too. It’s like he’s telling the world that he’s yours. And my god does he love that thought.

A "Anywhere, anytime." Kinda guy. You're horny while ya'll are drving somehwer? Cool, he'lll pull over. Y’all are in the bread isle in Walmart? Great, the bathroom it is!

( don’t worry he’ll make sure to line the seat and spray it with Lysol lmao)

Low key high key likes it when you order him around. Noting too drastic like “shut up bitch.” But something along the lines of “come here.” Or “faster.” Ya know what can I say? Mans likes to be informed

i cannot stress this enough. He. Loves. Digging. His. Nails. And. Fingers. Into. Your. Hips. Not really to the point of leaving bruises but definitely to the point of leaving red marks/ crescent moon shaped indents. Kinda like you leaving marks on him. Like to look in the mirror at them and admire them. Or simply the next time yall are fucking he likes to see them to himself (if that makes sense) it serves as a little reminder of how close the two of yall are

has a thing for being close to you. Intimate or romantic. Whatever

liiikkkkeeee

the type of person to pull you to him 24/7 in general when y’all are having sex and or pull himself to your lips when he’s giving you head

1/2 of the: probably sometimes gets to the point where you can barely get any “work done” and you jokingly complain about it.

what can I say the man likes his kisses

Ya know how he’s a picky eater… well lemme just say in some ahem other regards he’s not lmao

like you cannot change my mind that Jooyeon isnt practically pussy drunk.

Ya know what scratch that he is pussy drunk

rip most of your free time cause once you let him get a taste he don’t wanna stop

legit probably always askin you if he can taste you. (“I swear it’ll be fast, baby. Just a couple licks”)

mans is bargaining lol/j

anyhow I can basically talk about this forever if I don’t stop now lol

~End~

©️2024copywrightforshutupheathersorryheatherr do not copy or translate my works even with credit to me

a/n: hope your liked it! Like I said this fic has been in my drafts since forever! So after making some edits I decided to post it for the fist fic of the new year! If you liked it, please leave some love like comments and or reblogs!

Taglist: @itz-yerin

[halevren]

Never Stop Blowing Up Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 4

I'm watching this 40 minutes late because. I had to help pick up straw bales 😮‍💨

HELLO ONE AND ALLLLLLL

dick out down a hallway

"ME AND DANG ARE SELLING BALLOONS"

Rehka looks so cute this episode I love that top

5000 miles per hour????

holy crap that's kinda fast...

Romeo Cruise

DAMIEN BANE. BARSIMMEON

omg kingskin x vic ethanol

Adrananananalanan

DOUG MEAT . IS HE HERE. IS MY BOY HERE

J KWON

It's La Familia baby

it looks so hot

With this second divorce, I can't stand you calling me old right now.

mother fucker I have to go help collect more bales. hold on chat it's 8:02 pm I'll let you know when I come back

8:40 pm.

PROP?

the moon is the night sun

I love all the sound effecta

"Did you lie to me?"

Dave Meat is Doug's little brother

Liana Diesel is so.... 👀

The Skulker

he's on heelys

DOUG MEAT MY BELOVED

YEAH I THINK WE'LL KEEP THIS ONE SHORTER

he drank green

punch him in the head with my GUN

what did you fucking want

when fighting doesn't work, bring out the kisses

so many threes

naws

BLEW UP

i love jacob

SPLIT IN HALF

kick you apart

It's 5 o'clock somewhere. All of his face

It's OVER between us

A LITTLE PIECE OF FORESKIN IN TNERE

EXPLODE

The funniest thing us Izzy not remembering NPC names

J KWON OUR SAVIOR

FIND MY FRIENDS

Everything happening to you is self administered

half of a supra to a tank

eject seat

DON'T COME IN I GOT IT

300 POLICE HELICOPTERS

BAD BUNNY NOOOOOO

J KWON AND BAD BUNNY

So much is happening

DOUGGG

I love Doug more than anything

yayyyyy 4 dead yayyyy

EXPLODE

LA FAMILIAAAAAAA

SHOT IN THE ASS

he punched it closed

yayyyy fireworkssss

jessica and jeff

FOR UNIFICATION PURPOSES

EXTRA OILY

that was one of the thoughts?

D100???

AM I ALLOWED TO SAY THAT? YOU'RE WRONG

"That was close" "that's not that close"

ID LIKE TO TAKE MY JET TO SPACE

STRAIGHT TO SPACE BABY

SKULKER

I enjoy the new game because you can see new rules being made

BLOW UP!!!

ORPHANS ARE SAVED

19 DRIVE

THE WALMART

"Dang."

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls: 3x8 Let The Games Begin (Aka Let The ShitCircus Begin) (Send In The Clowns) (Send Help) (Part 1)

You can read my thoughts on all previous episodes in my Pinned Post. Ladies and Gentlemens, do you know what time it is? it is officially Literati Kickoff Time.

To get everyone up to speed, in the last episode, Rory recieved a Public Dumping for the Ages, Dean has stepped down as Rory's Primary Male Life Ruiner and handed that crown to Jess, Shane has been eviscerated into a bloody pulp, Lorelai and Luke both missed the showdown at the DM and so Lorelai learned about this tea off-screen sometime between the last episode and this one. It's yet unclear whether Lorelai learned what happened through second hand gossip or if Rory dusted off her Season 1 Balls of Steel and had the courage to inform her mother that Dean was out and Jess was in. Episode Opener: we see Rory and Lorelai walking through town shortly after the dance marathon, complaining about their sleep deprivation and achy feet. ("At least you bitches still have your feet," says Shane's dismembered ghost, looking down at her new webbed swan feet).

What is this shirt? It looks like an octopus ejaculated on this shirt.

Hey baby hey baby hey! J: Hi R:Hey J:Hi Lor: Hi (Who told you you could speak? Butt out, bish) Luke: Hi Jess: Hi R: I have to get to school. J: Me too. R:Bye J:Bye. Bye. Lorelai: Bye (bish, I swear...) R: Bye Luke: Bye Jess: Disappears

Only THE CUTEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED?! That was so cute, they should be immortalized into a pair of Precious Moments figurines. The little plaque on the figurine would be titled "Idiots In Love." So naturally, a certain Grinch in a lavendar blouse has a problem with this and it only further reassures her that Jess is nothing more than A Sex Criminal (who would never murder anyone).

Yay. Lorelai and I are both crying on the inside over this development, but for vastly different reasons. Anyway, look at her hanging her head! This bish is in mourning! Look at how depressed this bish is! Hahaha! Get SAD, BISH! I WILL LICK YOUR SALTY, SALTY TEARS! Ahem. I haven't seen such a somber delivery since the medical examiner delivered the news to Shane's parents that he had positively identifed her mutilated corpse.

Who will visit my home and sift through my panty drawer now? Luke: What happened? Lorelai, somber as a funeral director: Jess happened. Luke, uncharacteristically giddy with excitement: Wow! WOW! This is great! Wow! Rory and Jess! Jess and Rory! This is great! Don't you think this is great! Honestly Luke and Lorelai reflect both sides of my conflicting feelings about the Literati Shit-Circus. Lor: "I'll tell Dean you said that." I'm sure you will before the next time you gargle his dick. I think it's the next episode where Lorelai tells Dean, "Just because you and Rory broke up doesn't mean we did." #Sick

MOMMY FAIL! Rory is 18. She's a fucking adult so leave her alone. Anyway, what does that mean? I think it's code for "It's about time Rory dated a boy who knows how to remove a bra.' Luke: I know Jess is tough (LOL, yeah, he's a real toughie, just look at that last exchange) but he likes Rory and Rory's a good kid. Her good will rub off on him.

You are so full of baloney. You're a Baloney Superstore. You are the Walmart of Baloney. Oh, this episode contains multitudes. Lorelai is insufferable on not just one but two fronts. Heavens to betsy. This is the episode where she has a shit-fit over Richard taking Rory to interview at Yale. One of the most ridiculous Lorelai tantrums I can ever recall, at least in the earlier seasons. Maybe not as insane as "I'd rather my child and I be homeless than accept a loan from my mother to save my termite infested house" but it's up there in the top 5 for me.

I am so brave. Ar FND, Richard invites Rory to embark on said Road Trip to Yale, which shouldn't be a big deal for a child with any other mother besides Lorelai Gilmore, but this is Rory so she is shaking lke a flu stricken chihuaua at the thought of her mother finding out she would ever deign to visit a school endorsed by her grandparents. She reluctantly accepts, then quietly pees her pants.

God speed, girlypop.

Fun with Product Placement time: Rory went to fetch a soda from the kitchen, and my immediate thought was: "These rich bitches better have name brand Coca Cola in their fridge, and not that odd Hansen's soda that Rory is always drinking", and they do. A real honest to god prominently labeled Coke can. Girlypop here is feeling the heavy weight of possibly displeasing her mother in both her romantic and academic choices. She has a lot on her plate right now. While the car is parked in the Gilmore Grands driveway after FND, girly pop musters up the courage to tell Lorelai "Grandpa wants us to go on a road trip to Yale" which causes Lorelai to huff and immediately exit the car. She begins storming back into the house, intent on demanding that her father explain this unbelievably callous and cruel attempt to brainwash her daughter into considering another school besides Harvvard. Rory stops her at the porch. where a lengthy argument ensues. Rory has to (once again) dig in her heels to defend her position against Lorelai over something so STUPID. I am really sitting here watching Lorelai and Rory go back and forth forever just because (ADULT) Rory wants to visit a college campus at the invitation of her own grandfather. Lorelai even calls Richard a "master manipulator" for this evil plot. You know what Rory, stop asking Lorelai for her input. Since you don't have a car, just hop on a bus to New Haven and just fucking go. After comparing the city of New Haven to leftover sludge at the bottom of a coffee pot, Lorelai decides she's going to accompany Rory on the trip anyway, even though its been made quite clear she does not have to go (just like the Sherry Baby Shower). In both instances, Lorelai's presence will ruin everything. Per @frazzledsoul: "Lorelai is so spoiled here. Imagine being a parent of a teenager and your worst problem is what Ivy League school your kid goes to." Amen. The rest of this episode promises to be a complete shitshow of epic proportions. At least the next episode is "Deep Fried Korean Thanksgiving", one of the best.

[thefandomenchantress]

DRDT Incorrect Quotes: Pt. 2

I finally made a part two yaaaay!

Hu: Where is everybody?

Ace:  Eden had a nervous breakdown, Levi is looking after her, Rose went back to bed, Teruko is trying to kill David, and I'm in charge.

Hu: YOU'RE IN CHARGE?!?

Ace: Why is THAT the only thing you’re panicking about?!?

…

David: Oh, so now I'm 'bad' just because I've done bad things in the past, continue doing so in the present, and will likely do so in the future?

…

Charles: Can you please be serious for five minutes?

Whit: My record is four, but I’ll see what I can do.

…

J: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.

Arei: It’s not a joke!

Arei: *Sniffle*

Arei: I’m a legit snack.

…

Teruko: Xander isn’t answering his phone.

David: I’ll call.

Teruko: Eden and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi—

Xander: *Through the phone* Hello?

…

Nico: *Bursts into the room* Guys, I impulsively bought a snake, what should I name him?

Everyone: YOU DID WHAT?

Whit: William Snakespeare.

…

Arturo: I have the sharpest memory here! Name one time I forgot something!

Arei: You left me, Ace, and Veronika in a Walmart parking lot at 2am a day ago.

Arturo: I did that on purpose, try again.

…

Teruko: Why is Ace so sad?

David: He took one of those, ‘Which Character Are You’ quizzes.

Teruko: …And?

David: He got Nico.

…

Xander: Rules are made to be broken!

Min: They’re meant to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Whit: Uh, piñatas.

Ace: Glow sticks.

David: Karate Boards.

Rose: Spagetti when you have a small pot.

Xander: Rules.

Min:

…

Veronika: Then they ran into my knife. They ran into my knife ten times.

Arturo: …You mean you stabbed them?

Veronika: They ran into my knife.

…

Whit: Sometimes, I don’t even realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and realize everyone is staring at me weird.

…

(The Cake Gang when they drop food on the ground)

Min: Aw, man. *Throws it away*

Teruko: Eh, five second rule.

Rose: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me. *Eats it off the floor*

Eden: *Sobs on the floor*

…

Teruko: Where’s Xander?

Min: Don’t worry, I’ll find him.

Min, shouting: DAVID SUCKS!

Xander, distantly: David is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Min: Found him.

…

Eden, trying her first cup of coffee: I. AM. ENERGY!!! *Runs around in circles*

David, an avid coffee drinker, on his twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in the next ten seconds.

…

Teruko: You spent all your money on this?

Nico, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

…

Hu: Fine. While I’m gone, Arei, you’re in charge.

Arei: Yes!!!

Hu, whispering: Min, you’re secretly in charge.

Min: Obviously.

[padfootastic]

hi! i've no idea how i came to your page but i realised i'd read two of your one-shots in ao3 before and had adored them (you'll probably get comments from me in future, btw) and i just wanted to say thank you for your writing and thank you for your prongsfoot<3

i've been very critical of this sort of new, cool and aloof and martyred version of remus lupin for quite a while now (honestly, where did all those traits come from?!) and gosh, you're so eloquent when talking about him!!!

i was wondering what your thoughts were on regulus black? because i think he's getting the same sort of royalty treatment as remus does by making him sort of-- er, perfect? i mean. i've seen so much recently of him basically saving the world single-handedly and i-- ugh. and james is always just there, like a useless idiot? it makes me irrationally angry, and this is coming from someone who enjoys jegulus quite a bit. my problem is that i don't know if this rejection i feel against those two comes from a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty.

anyway, again, thank you for your writing. it's truly beautiful. hope you have a great day!

omg hello 🥺 i’ve periodically opened tumblr, giggling like a loon, and logging off multiple times just to see this ask,,,,thank u sm , ur way too kind <3 and ur comment on ao3!!! i was just,,,,yeah,,,no words. thank u.

ooooooh i remember being asked something similar a while ago and i took the safe route and basically went ‘remus lupin-ification of regulus’ iirc. that still stands. but but. i’ve also got another answer here! all hail tumblr’s search system today!

i still basically stand by all of it, but adding onto the jegulus + sirius bits of it:

annoys tf outta me when regulus is turned into a victim and like sirius damned him to hell when he left . i have thoughts about the way both of them were treated (which,,,another time,,,this post is already getting too long lol) but i imagine the day sirius left to be a Good One for reg bc he thinks he’ll have his parents undivided attention now. i also think regulus is severely defanged in a lot of characterisations, as if he wasn’t a baby DE, as if he wasn’t a slytherin from the house of black, as if he wasn’t walmart sirius black. like man i’m almost offended on his behalf. i’m sure his shaking his lil fist up at us from wherever he is.

with jegulus…okay, i’ve only read a couple oneshots but that doesn’t mean i haven’t tried. i genuinely went thru so many fics trying to get something, anything to stick and i think the problem is me. fully. completely. without doubt. i just can’t deal with a situation where j&s aren’t each others no.1, or at the very least, equivalent to that. that’s where my issues w wolfstar started, same w this. jegulus also has the added horror of ‘james and reg sneaking behind sirius’ back’ which is just,,,,gosh,,,,i have So Many Thoughts ab that. all personal opinions, but still. they’re strong. it fucks me up just thinking about it. i also think the ship tries wayyyy too hard to fit the ‘best friend’s brother’ trope and ends up sacrificing characterisation for it. which,,,again,,,that’s fine but it’s all the ‘oh this is how it was!’ that gets to me. and then james :/// he gives off such weird energy lol. jegulus gives me drarry vibes, and james is treated almost exactly as harry is in a lot of those. reg also gets the saviour treatment, like draco, and both of their fuckery is toned down until they’re almost normal, like they never did any reprehensible shit. j&r, and d&h are placed on the same moral equivalence and it’s just a bit. hmm. okay. (my issue with this is how it leaks into the writing and suddenly i’m made to sympathise with draco bc harry slashed him w sectumsempra, but we conveniently forget he was gonna use an unforgivable, ykno?) so overall it just feels…pushing reg up and pulling james down to get them on equal footing. very similar to wolfstar lbr.

anyway. that’s a ramble and a half lmao.

also!! ‘a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty’ in my mind, both of these occupy a similar plane of existence. so very valid. for me, personally, hating remrem started as the latter and i eventually realised it’s also the former lol i was just mad a how sirius is bastardised to justify his ~deification and it eventually moved on to ‘wow i just. do not like him’. damn.

[fairlyang]

guys the funniest thing happen to my mom and i😭

we went to walmart to get toilet paper bc there wasn’t any at costco (we didn’t even end up getting any💀) but we went to get snacks for our dog and we found these beef log sticks he loves but it was only one until my mom looked up at the top shelf and there it was

she tried to grab something else to knock it off but she pushed it further + was standing on the bottom shelf and i was dying bc she is 5’2 and i’m 5’4 we were NEVER gonna reach that shit 😭😭

and in the same isle was a TALL ASS white guy like deadass 6’0 i thought he was gonna see us struggling and help us out bc he def would’ve reached but NO HE DIDNT 😭😭 (either hates women or is racist idk /j)

and then BOOM here walks by a worker and i’m just like bro this dude barely beats up by a few inches😭 but she asked if there were any more of the sticks and he said there were two… she said oh well can you help us get the second one we accidentally pushed it farther (in spanish) and guys thank FUCK he spoke spanish bc she hates no sabo kids

and finally he got up to the bottom shelf and grabbed so moral of the story we love mexicans🫶🏼

[chaotic-on-main]

jkjk

uhhh tell me a story about you!!!

what are ur top 5 reasons for thirsting for levi 👀

Top 5 reasons why I'm a Levi slut first and a person second (your words not mine):

1. Himbs eyes, I love his eyes. They're so aljdksjf yanno. I always describe them as hooded lmao, but I really love them. And the color of them too. might collect them and put them in a jar

2. His ARMS OH MY GOD. They're so toned. I just want him to choke me, maybe kill me a little. As a treat.

3. His voice (yes I am talking about his English dub fight me in a Walmart parking lot IDC) Matthew Mercer as Levi just does things to me okay? Okay cool.

4. His thighs. Like guys COME ON. ALDJKSJD I AM BITING. I AM CHOMPING. RIGHT INTO THEM.

5. His personality overall. This should actually be the top of the list but I just needed to get the feral thoughts out of the way. I love how cold and aloof his exterior is but on the inside is actually very caring and compassionate for others. He will protect those at the cost of his own life. Too bad for them, this stubborn idiot refuses to die.

A story about me huh? Hmm.

Tw/cw: alcohol, sexual soliciting (?), underage drinking, illegal affairs

I'll tell you about one of my favorite memories: Accidentally getting drunk then having to chase my friend's dog back into the house at 7 in the morning lmao.

This was the summer after I graduated high school. My best friend, S, and I decided to throw this little party for our just turned seniors friends. So we decided to all go bowling and then have a sleepover at said junior's house, J. Unfortunately our other friend, B, couldn't make it because he was grounded (this is important to note) so it was just the 3 of us. Everything is fine, we all suck at bowling, cool. We all start to drive over to our friend's house for the night.

EXCEPT WE WERE MISSING OUR FRIEND B SO WE DRIVE OVER TO HIS HOUSE (who lives in the same neighborhood as the friend we were staying over with) AND SNEAK HIM OUT OF HIS HOUSE. IT IS 11PM AT THIS POINT. HE BREAKS HIS WINDOW SCREEN TO ESCAPE AND JUMPS IN OUR CAR AND WE JUST DRIVE OFF.

Once settled, J (the one who we're staying with who by the way of course still lives with her parents since she's 17) then pulls out 3 half filled WATER BOTTLES (yes those plastic disposable ones) of liquor. I don't even know what was in them but it's all horrible. Anyways, I - being the mom of the group - barely have any why these two girls and one guy down it. And we're vibing. But we realize quickly that we're RUNNING OUT OF LIQUOR.

So we're coming up with a game plan to get more. Long story short (because I don't remember how it happened exactly) B says he has a contact that can get us more alcohol but we'd have to drive over to get it. Well this is a conundrum because two friends (S and J) are wasted and one doesn't know how to drive, which left me. BUT I ONLY HAD MY DRIVERS PERMIT AT THE TIME (this is a whole different story of why I couldn't legally drive until I was 18, not important right now) but I am their only option so I was like fine.

We sneak outside to S's car and try to leave but for some reason her car won't start? Like it kept stalling and then I accidentally triggered her car alarm so it was going off for a couple minutes before we were finally able to shut it off. We sit there for a couple minutes in silence, afraid we just woke up J's parents.

We didn't.

But now we're out A CAR. then our other friend B mentions we can just use his car. Which is great BUT WE HAD TO WALK 10 MINUTES TO HIS HOUSE TO GET IT. We forgot to put shoes on S's feet too apparently, I don't remember that but she does. We get to his car finally and drive off. This is my FIRST TIME DRIVING AT NIGHT. I WAS SO SCARED. BUT WE MADE IT TO THIS RANDOM STRANGER'S CONDO

So B handles it, he goes in to grab the liquor. But he's in there for a VERY LONG TIME. He finally comes back with a bottle of skyy vodka and we're like "B what the fuck too you so long." YALL. HE GAVE THIS CONTACT A BLOWJOB IN ORDER TO GET THE LIQUOR AND THATS WHY HE WAS GONE FOR SO LONG. anyways.

So we're back, we're all drinking and having fun. Might have made out with each other idk. After a while, S needs to go potty and the bathroom was actually right next to the bedroom so when you open the door, you can look into it. So she goes, she takes a while to come back. I'm like what the fuck. I'm periodically opening and closing the door to make sure she's okay and she's just throwing up in the toilet. Mind you I'm drunk, so everything is kinda running slow for me. She said she's fine when I ask so I keep checking in on her

At one point, the next time I open the door, J's mom is STANDING IN THE DOOR WAY STARING DOWN AT ME AND WHAT DO I DO?! I FUCKING CLOSE THE DOOR IN HER FACE AND LOOK OVER TO J WHILE LAUGHING AND SAYING "DUUUUDE YOUR MOM IS RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR" IN THE MOST FUCKED UP SLURRED VOICE.

anyways panic ensues, mother mode takes over. S is sobbing as she usually does when she's too drunk to handle and I'm stripping her and putting her into the shower because she's a fucking mess okay? And J is drunk off her ass and her mom is trying to damage control her by making her shower too. I'm pretty sure she threw up on herself and at one point ran down the stares ass naked? I don't know. B is passed out on the bed by the way.

There's also this point in time but idk where it lines up but J's dog got out and we had to chase it through the neighborhood while being drunk off our asses at 7am. A running couple came by and asked if we needed help and I was like "nah we're good" but I'm pretty sure they could tell we were drunk. Like we probably looked like a fucking mess. This happened before J's mom found us tho. The sun was fucking out y'all.

We didn't get home until maybe 3pm because we slept in. our cover up story of why we felt and looked sick to our parents was because of food poisoning from the bowling alley.

Anyways. Long story short kids, drink responsibly. I wanna note I am no longer this person, btw.

I uh. A lot has happened to me before the age of 21.

[uncaught-coolfish]

Your most problematic RWBY ships! Go.

ME??? ok……. im fairly “vanilla” sooooo

(HALF OF THESE PROBABLY ARENT EVEN PROBLEMATIC BUT. IDC)

Crim//sun. This might unironically be tied as my favorite ship next to Freezer//burn but apparently it’s problematic because Uh oh guys: THE GUY IS IN IT. But no, unironically this ship slaps. Adam and Sun have a lot of weird like parallel’s (if that’s the right word) with each other outside of the basic MONKEY KING BULL DEMON stuff, and the headcanons I’ve read for it? GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT LIKE???? SO MUCH OF IT IS THE WHOLESOME STUFF THAT HITS YOU RIGHT IN THE FUCJING FRRGSHAGGAGSHWHQIAHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

and speaking of adam while I loathe any ship with him involving a schnee for. obvious reasons… i actually like arctic warfare a little bit. he and winter can dye each other’s hair /j

two that idk if they are problematic but:

whatever one is between salem and summer because the fanart I’ve seen for it holy

and firewall. why? they’re so lady zero x accord coded to me and don’t ask why

if we wanna be funny then if this fandom really wants to convince me adam is gaston… then let fennec be lefou /j

for shits and giggles….. jaune and cardin. if only for the potential of “90’s stereotypical romance between the bully who stones for their sins with fake walmart flowers and the one who they bullied just along for the fucking ride”. also cardin’s fucking gayass walk told me everything

…can I say fallen p— *gets shot* can you tell I like enemies to lovers yet. c—can you. okay.

Rose//bird. but not canonical Rose//bird, MY rose//bird. i will save what that means for a later day, but how I want to write it (WILL PROVIDE CONTEXT EVENTUALLY) they’re very “hand in unlovable hand” coded <3 and most definitely problematic 🤭

i don’t know why I feel this way. i don’t know how I feel this way. i don’t know why I’ve come to this conclusion, what stars have aligned, but… if roman and hazel met in canon they would fuck so nasty /j /srs /j /srs /j /srs /j /srs /

[genderflu1dwh0r]

Hey J!

How things going?

Heyoo!!

It's ok, I went out to get a new phone, but they didn't have the one I wanted, so I gotta go back next week. But then I went to Panda Express to try their food for the first time, it was ok at best. The orange chicken was pretty good though. The fortune cookie was the best part, I fucking love those things.

Then I went to GameStop and looked around, then I went to Walmart and bought some stuff. A KISS shirt, candy, snacks, and gum. Why are Walmart's so hot? Like, I always walk in with a jacket and always end up getting too hot and taking it off. It was like in the 50s outside. It was sprinkling a little, which was fun.

In the car I played Gwen Stefani, Britney Spears, The Jins, and Nirvana. It was a nice drive lol.

Anyway, I hope you are doing good!! How was your day/night?

Have a Caitlin Todd smiling

DO NOT REPOST ⚠️