#fuck william reid too for leaving a child to take care of his mom

[samuelsdean]

bye this just reminded me of how spencer's savior complex is so entwined with his abandonment issues his first response when gideon didn't contact the bau a few days after he said he was going to his cabin was to actually head over there to check up on gideon bc he was worried (over a grown man idc if that's his mentor that's still a grown man) and the only thing he found there was that stupid letter

It took me way too long to realize Spencer has a savior complex when for the first six seasons he would frequently run towards a armed UnSub with no vest or gun.

[spencer-reids-adventures]

“you don’t understand, do you?”

“i understand perfectly. you’re being a dick.”

“You don’t understand, do you?”

“I understand perfectly. You’re being a dick.”

Hotch glares at Spencer, who stands with clenched fists, doing his best to maintain eye contact, practically shaking with rage. It takes a moment for Hotch to realize what's happening, but when he does, he quickly breaks his gaze and relaxes his posture.

"Reid," he says carefully. "Who are you really angry at right now?"

"You," Spencer says sharply, almost before Hotch has even finished speaking.

"Are you sure?" Hotch asks. "Are you angry at me, your Unit Chief, for telling you to be more careful in the field? Or are you angry at William Reid for constantly making you feel like everything you did was wrong?"

Spencer's eyes grow huge and he starts to frantically slam one of his fists against his thigh. He seems at a loss for words, until finally--

"Go fuck yourself, Hotch," he spits, and stomps away several yards before breaking into a run.

It's almost 3am when there's a hesitant knock on Hotch's door, but it's enough to wake him. He opens the door to find Spencer. He's still fully dressed, and somehow looks impossibly small. He obviously hasn't been back to the hotel until now, and Hotch wonders if he should have tried to call instead of giving him his space.

Hotch ushers him in without saying anything, and Spencer sits down on the floor next to one of the beds, pulling his knees up to his chest. He wrings his hands and rocks back and forth for a little while, and Hotch doesn't interrupt him, just takes a seat on the other bed and waits for Spencer to be ready to speak.

"I haven't seen William Reid in 15 years," he finally says. "But he's still there, all the time, telling me everything I'm doing wrong. And every single thing I do is a reaction to that - to him. I kept my mom and I safe through high school to prove to him that we didn't need him. I got all those PhDs to prove to him that I could do it. I joined the FBI to show him that I could be successful in a real job. Even if he never actually knew, I knew, and I knew that I had succeeded, and I did it all without him."

He's crying by now, tears streaking down his cheeks that he doesn't even bother to brush away.

"You're nothing like him, Hotch. Even when you're mad at me, you've never tried to change me. My behavior, sure. But you've never made me feel like there was something wrong with me, like I couldn't be counted on or trusted. You've never made me feel broken or faulty, you've never made me doubt myself, and you've never downplayed my sensory issues or tried to stop my stims. You've never done anything like that."

He pauses to take a breath, and still, Hotch stays silent.

"I'm telling you all these things to try and help myself understand why I spoke to you the way I did today. Why sometimes I talk to you the way I want to talk to him, even though you're nothing alike. It's like I'm so scared of being wrong or doing wrong, the second someone calls me on it I have to attack them. Maybe because I could never do that with William, I could never stand up to him. I don't know..."

He starts to cry harder, and Hotch moves from the bed to the floor, sitting next to Spencer and letting him cry on his shoulder. Spencer clings to him like a child, shuddering and sobbing, and Hotch rocks him gently.

"I'm sorry," Spencer gasps. "I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for, Spencer?" Hotch asks quietly.

"For being rude to you. For disrespecting you. For thinking I knew better than you. For making bad choices. For hurting myself and others. For failing. For being different. For being too sensitive. For not being a mind-reader. For being an embarrassment. For not being enough to keep our family together. For giving up on her. For leaving her behind. For not being smart enough to find a cure for her..."

He's almost howling, now, as he sobs, and Hotch can't tell who exactly he's apologizing to, but he thinks maybe it doesn't matter.

"Shh, Spencer, Spencer," he murmurs. "It's okay. You're okay. You don't have to apologize for those things, Spencer. You are good, and smart, and capable. You aren't an embarrassment. You haven't failed. You've always done what you had to do, and no one can fault you for that. Spencer, you're one of the best people I know. Do you hear me?"

"Mm," hums Spencer, beginning to calm down and slumping tiredly against Hotch's chest.

"Let's get you to bed, okay?" Hotch whispers.

They have their own rooms, but there's no way he's making Spencer go back to his, not now, not after this. Instead he helps remove Spencer's shoes and brings him an extra pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, guiding him into the bathroom to change and wash his face.

When he comes out, Hotch tucks him into bed, leaving the desk lamp on, and turns out the rest of the lights.

"Goodnight, Spencer," he says.

"G'night," Spencer mumbles. "Love you."

He's asleep before Hotch can even process what he's said.

[stargleeksil-blog]

Criminal Minds s05e05 “From Cradle to Grave” review - or more aptly named, Hotch is being a bitch to Derek and I don’t like it.

Episode 05 – Cradle to Grave

I think it goes without saying that I apologize profusely for my burst of hormone back there in the previous review, I mean, what the fuck is up with me lately? I’m blaming it on the fact that I’m currently sick right before American Halloween…

I’m also not looking forward to this episode, because it suggests babies involved, and that’s just wrong.

Let’s see what happens and hope I don’t barf.

Well, here we go, a woman giving birth. Oh god. Blagh.

So she gave birth in a prison cell, they take her baby, and if it’s a girl they do something with her? Oh god.

“What’s next?”

Hotch reviewing cases with JJ is the cutest.

“What’s your take?”

“Really?”

Wait, he’s never let her weigh in her opinion before? That strikes me as beyond odd.

“Henry’s just going through a clingy stage.”

Awwww.

Wait. So Aaron is letting her leave early? Nice.

Crap. Dis bitch is back.

Wait. Is Hotch in trouble? Oh god.

Wait. Why would Hotch lie to JJ like that?

Pretty puppy in an elevator.

Pretty puppy getting a text.

Ooh, another email from the boss.

Wait. That’s the third email from Hotch. What’s up?

“Reid, what did I miss?”

“Oh, man, you’re not going to believe this. Some moron just posted a blog called ‘What Would Carl Sagan Do?’” oh my god, I am so in love with poodle.

“No, Reid, the case. What’s the case?”

“What case? What are you talking about?”

Wait, what’s going on now?

“… emails from Hotch …”

Oh dear.

Something’s up.

“Emails from Hotch? I didn’t get any emails from Hotch, did I?”

“Nothing.”

And can I just say, it’s so cute that he keeps a calculator nearby, even though he’s a genius XD

Uber weird.

“Did you get a chance to look at the files?”

“I just got them.”

How the fuck can he look at them if he just got them, huh?

Also, Derek is right, why is he the only one getting those emails and not the rest of the team? So weirded out.

“I’ll review it right now. Just give me an hour.”

“That’s not necessary.”

Then why send it to him? What the fuck is going on here? I don’t like where this is headed.

Ready for what, JJ? What the fuck is going on here?

Yikes, this case sounds psycho crazy sadist. Yeesh.

Yikers. He kills them shortly after giving birth in captivity. I’m having chills, and not the sexy kind.

William D. Tammeus: “You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around – and why his parents will always wave back.”

So does this mean I don’t get human nature?

Kidding, I get it. I think. I mean, I have an idea, but it might not be what this Tammeus guy has in mind, so according to him I may not have a true grasp of human nature. That’s unsettling, considering I’m human, and it’s in my nature … :O

I’m one again jealous of glassware. Frack.

My poodle trying to sit in a cool way with his leg pulled up, but he mostly looks like a man-child and I love him for that.

“Makes him good with his hands.”

They should really stop giving him these lines … it gives me way too much fodder XD

“Which makes his compulsion psych 101 – killing his mother over and over again for giving birth to him.” Damn, my baby is smart.

“I hate to say this, but what if the women are just a means to an end?”

Oh god, is this episode going to make me barf? Probably.

Oh dear.

And it’s not even three in the afternoon yet. Fuck.

Wait, they induced the labor? Fuck! Oh my god, that poor lady.

“All three moms had records. Drug use, drunk and disorderlies. But what’s more interesting is what he does after he kidnaps them.”

And by interesting, you definitely mean gross and inhumane, right?

So they cleaned her up, made her as healthy as possible and impregnated her so she could give birth? Oh dear. Fuck.

“What kind of sexual sadist gives his victims prenatal drugs?”

“The kind who takes care of the kids he’s having.”

Shit.

But baby boy doesn’t think so.

Hmmm.

I really hope this pans out for the better.

“He could be breeding.”

Gross.

Poodle in shades.

So adoption is the American way of child trafficking? Gross.

“There’d be a paper trail, though, wouldn’t there?”

“There are ways to hide your tracks.”

And do you have to smile when you say that to JJ, you sick weirdo?

Wait. So that’s an umbilical cord in that jar? EW!

Why do they have to give it to my baby? Ugh.

So gross.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, birth is amazing, and I’m still amazed that we can actually grow tiny human beings inside us, but saving that thing? Ew.

“Okay, know this – most adoption folk are like the nicest, most dedicated people in the world. There are, however, one or two skeezy ones.”

“How skeezy?”

“Super skeezy. I’ve got a spread sheet from one of them expecting compensation fro the baby I’m having.”

Wait what? Did she pose as a pregnant woman? I don’t follow.

“Something you want to tell me, Garcia?”

I knew it.

“Oh, that’s the sad part, my prince. The genetically perfect offspring of Penelope Garcia and Derek Morgan wouldn’t fetch top dollar.”

See, that, I find hard to believe.

“And then there’s the Swedish supermodel rule.”

“The what?’

“If I were to deliver a blond-haired, blue-eyed bundle of joy, I’d be set for life.”

Oh god, I died right now. I love you, lady.

“I would.”

“Morgan. I’d like for you to write up a preliminary profile.”

Wait. What? Didn’t they just finish up assessing they don’t have anything yet? I get the confused puppy look.

“We don’t have enough for that.”

Thank you.

“Well, that’s why it’s preliminary. A work-in-progress profile helps show us what we’re missing.”

Seriously?

“Okay. Sure.”

Yeah, because my baby is a good boy.

“He has, like, this access to God.” That sounds dangerous.

“So why not run her DNA against adoption records in surrounding states? Are you kidding? I think you’re brilliant.”

It’s not often that my goddess doles out such compliments. JJ, you should be honored.

“Hey, JJ, if we find this little girl, what’s going to happen to her?”

Why is my baby girl all of a sudden concerned?

“I lost my parents. Granted, I was older than she is, but …”

“What got me through where the people closest to me, and … if Monica’s daughter is with a good family and we take her away from them …”

Oh jeez, Penelope, you perfect human being, you.

“These people have a right to their granddaughter.”

JJ is also right. Damn.

“You’re right. Yeah. This sucks.”

Word to mouth.

So he’s finally learned to use a flip phone properly?

Also, it’s 2010, why is he still using a flip phone?

“What’s that?”

“Your profile. I disagree with your analysis.”

Wait. Did he just seriously eliminate like half his theory? What the fuck is up with you, Hotch? Why you dissing my baby like this?

“Hotch, are you serious?”

“It’s not a law review article, it’s just something for us to brainstorm.”

Thank you.

“But you only focused on one angle, Morgan, that the prenatal drugs indicate the presence of a wife or a girlfriend. We need more options.”

“Which I can give you once we make the proper deductions.”

“Hotch, you’re asking me to guess.”

What the fuck is going on here?

“Morgan, in order for the profile to be useful, it has to generate multiple scenarios about what the unsub is doing.”

What the fuck?

“Rewrite it.”

WHAT?

Fuck you, Hotch!

Just because Strauss is crawling up your ass and giving you prostate cancer, doesn’t mean you have to contaminate my puppy. Go to hell.

So the babies weren’t dropped off at an agency, they were dumped in a basket on the steps of churches like in old timey 19th century novels? Yeesh.

“Outside the murders, nothing about this unsub’s behavior profiles like a sexual sadist …”

“As I wrote.”

Baby, don’t get too hard on yourself, stop it.

And Hotch, you better watch yourself, cuz this mama is about to give you a good ass whooping.

“He could be married, though, his wife being a passive participant, taking care of the moms.”

See? You’re not useless, I love you, honey.

“Morgan, you’re here with me. We’ll finalize the profile.”

And my baby’s like, shit, he’s punishing me.

I thought you liked a spanking? No? Good to know.

Contemplative poodle is a pretty poodle.

This is where my poodle’s genius shows. And I love it.

“These kids you deduced to – have you looked at their files?”

“No. right now I’ve only been tracking churches. Why?”

Oh dear.

“Because you just uncovered another pattern.”

Oh baby, I love my poodle.

“They’re keeping the boys.”

Yup.

Dear lord, this is turning out to be sick.

Wait. They’re forcing the new girl to be the old girl’s midwife? Fuck. Damn.

“JJ, I need you to call these fertility specialist and get them over here for interviews.”

“Whoa.”

So it seems like a lot.

“Yeah, I know. Hotch wants to focus on the prenatal drugs the unsubs are giving the victims.”

Okay…

“He thinks we can build a new suspect pool, and he wants it done yesterday.”

Yeesh. Hotch is one big bitch.

“There’s two pages of names here. Shouldn’t we narrow it down?”

Uh yeah.

“JJ, just do it, okay?”

Wait. Hold up. Did my puppy just blow up at JJ? What the fuck?

“I’m sorry.”

Good puppy.

“Is everything okay?”

“Hotch has been on me ever since we got here, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.”

Uh, maybe because Strauss is up his ass?

So that lady just mixed up drugs and figured out how to induce pregnancy? Fuck.

Fuck, she has to actually measure with her hand how dilated she is, poor thing.

Fuck, I hope they make it there in time.

“What’s this?” Uh-oh. Angry puppy.

“It’s a tactical arrest plan. I’d like you to write it up for this case.”

Scoff.

“You want me to write up how we apprehend these unsubs without risking the lives of the children?” Wait, what? Shouldn’t it be better to just have him out there doing it, rather than coming up with the words for it? He’s a man of actin. Ask Reid to do it, you meanie.

“Hotch, I’ve led dozens of tactical assaults. You’ve never made me write up one of these before.”

“That’s because I always do it for you after each case.”

Wait what?

Scoff.

“You know what?”

What, baby?

“I’m sorry Strauss is coming down on you.”

They should really rethink how they phrase things.

“This is not about Strauss.”

Yeah, right.

“Look, I understand that you’re under the gun. But I gotta say it. I’m really not all that surprised.”

Wait, what?

“Of course the bureau’s worried about you.”

“Man, I’m worried about you.”

Cutie.

“But just because you’re the one who’s under the magnifying glass, that doesn’t mean I can’t do my job.”

So true.

“Morgan, there’s a big part of your job that I do for you because I don’t need you worried about paperwork and politics.”

Fuck you, bitch, who asked you to?

“I don’t have to justify my orders to you, and you do have to follow them.”

I hate it when he makes sense.

“I’ve always followed your orders, when they made sense.”

“Well, if you have a problem with this one, tell me now.”

“You’re the boss.”

Damn.

“Okay, so the gold star of the day goes to Agent David Rossi and his short list of one disease these prenatal drugs also treat.”

Oh honey, look how he’s so proud of getting Garcia’s approval XD

“Breast Cancer.”

Damn.

Yikes. The lady had to go through labor anyway even though she lost the baby? Dear lord.

“Well, that kind of physical and emotional trauma, there’s our stressor.”

Yup.

“I volunteer with a new mom counseling group.”

My cutie.

“Morgan, what’s your plan?”

So now he’s asking him to review his plan? What’s going on here?

“I think we should do a soft entry.”

I want it to be hard, honestly XD

“See if we can get the kids out before the parents even know what’s happening.”

“You’d be in the door first?”

Of course, gotta see those legs at work on kicking down doors.

“Do you have another idea?”

“Send Prentiss and JJ first.”

Wait. What?

“Children are more likely to trust a woman, and we need that presence.”

I guess he does have a point.

Doesn’t mean I like it.

“Hotch is right.”

See? We’re perfect together XD Okay, this is hot.

And so is this.

“FBI.”

Well, that is menacing.

“Ma’am, why don’t you give me the baby. We can talk about it.”

Yup.

“Why would I want to do that?”

Because he’s not your kid, and you need to let go. Bitch.

“What you’ve been doing is wrong. You must know that.”

Oh honey, trying to reason with a crazy person is never going to work.

Thank god they found them.

He’s so cute trying to reason with her.

“I would have been a wonderful mother.”

“Then prove it. Let him go.”

Bah.

What have we discussed about hot people holding babies? Are they purposefully trying to kill me prematurely?

At least it’s a happy ending to this case.

Wait. The kid they rescued was Monica’s? And he gets to go with his grandparents? Oh honey, that’s wonderful.

They’re really sticking with this full-circle trope, huh?

“Have a seat.”

Uh-oh.

“The bureau thinks that my ability to lead this team has been compromised.”

Well, duh.

“What do you think?”

Wait, now he wants Morgan’s input?

“Sometimes I question you, Hotch.”

Yeah, no kidding.

“But at the end of the day I do respect you.”

Damn straight. “You’re the leader of this team, and my job is to have your back.”

“Well, that’s not important to the bureau.”

Damn.

“They’ve been questioning me since Foyet’s attack. And they’re not entirely wrong.”

True.

“If Strauss replaces me, this whole unit will come under scrutiny. Members will be reassigned, budgets will be cut.”

Damn. So not happening.

“Come on, Hotch, nobody’s gonna replace you.”

I love you, baby.

“Fight Strauss.”

“I’ll go to the mat for you. So will everybody else. You know that.”

Damn straight.

“Unless I step down.”

Wait. Pump the breaks.

“Step down? What are you talking about?”

“I’m resigning as unit chief at the end of the week.”

“What?” WHAT?

“No!”

“Hotch, look, yeah, okay, sometimes your actions, I may disagree with them …”

“But it’s not enough for you to leave this team.”

I love how he’s trying to protect his own.

“I’m not leaving the team, I’m just no longer in charge.”

Then who is.

“You are.”

“Me?”

What?

Fuck yes.

“Look, I had the chance to be unit chief in New York, and I said no.”

“I turned it down because I like this team.”

“Strauss can’t fire you like this.”

No, but she can reassign him. Damn.

“And we can avoid that if I promote internally.”

“This is wrong.”

“It’s the only way to keep the team together.”

Oh dear.

“This is why you’ve been pushing me so hard, huh?”

“I haven’t been pushing you that hard.”

“Will you do this?”

“This would be temporary.”

Wait. So Morgan’s gonna be in charge? Oh damn.

“Once we catch Foyet, all this goes back to normal.”

Oh honey, I love you, but I get you need to follow someone.

“Let’s get started.

“What’s all this?”

That’s a shit ton of paperwork, dude.

“This is the job, unless you have other plans?”

Hotch, you little shit.

“Not tonight.”

Penelope too busy with Lynch?

Okay, wow. This episode definitely threw me for a loop. So we started out by Hotch being a dick to my baby boy, which doesn’t sit well with me at all, then we have that awful case that has me ready with a barf bucket, and then they put Morgan in charge till they catch Foyet? Holy crap! I can’t wait to see my hot stuff barking orders. Hot.

All righty, I’m going to head straight for the next one, I want to crank these out asap. See you tomorrow <3