#fuck whoever went to school w/o a mask and got me sick

[scootersscooter]

I fucking hate being sickkkkkkkk

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers  /  the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

[sandstonesunspear]

Familia

Summary: In which Maggie is a combination of me and my mother and gets to do all the things that we didn’t.

Thanks to @avidreaderffn for checking my Spanish bc I’m rusty, @bathtimefunduck for talking some sense into me, and @syllabicacronyms and @georgiew2304 for doing an initial read.

AO3

The call came on a Monday. Maggie was at work, arms deep in paperwork and open cases when her phone went off.

“Detective Sawyer,” she said, pen still scratching away on her latest evidence report.

“Margarita?”

Maggie blinked. “Tía?” She and her aunt called each other on the regular, but never while Maggie was at work. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s your mother.” There was a heavy sigh on the other end that made her stomach drop. “She’s asking for you.”

“For me? Why?” Maggie hadn’t spoken to her mother in years. Not since...not since that ill-fated Valentine’s day that ended with Oscar Rodas kicking his only daughter out of the house. Her mother had said nothing, done nothing, as her husband shouted at their daughter to pack a single suitcase and get out.

“She’s not doing well.”

Maggie got up. She ignored the curious look her partner shot her way and made her way to the precinct locker room.

“What do you mean she’s not doing well?” she demanded.

“She’s in stage IV kidney failure, Maggie. The doctors are doing transfusions—”

“Why not dialysis?

“Mija.” Her aunt’s voice was gentle, like it had been the night she picked Maggie up off the side of the road all those years ago. “They can’t. In her condition, it’s just not feasible anymore. She needs you here now.”

“I…” A part of her wanted to say no. Why should she go and be there for her mother when her mother hadn’t been there for her?

“Maggie.”

Maggie sighed. “Tía, can I call you back? I just, I need a bit.” She needed a bit and more.

“Okay. Just, let me know soon, all right, mija?”

“Of course.”

Maggie hung up before her aunt could say anything else. She put her head in her hands. The universe had a sick sense of humour, she decided. She had waited for years to get a call regarding her mother and now she had. Only it wasn’t the kind of call she wanted.

She pulled up her texts.

Hypo lifespan S4 kidney fail w/o dialysis/transplant, she texted Alex.

She watched the little grey bubble pop up. Then, V short. Days most likely. Why?

Adrian asked, she lied. School project or something.

Her phone buzzed to reveal a thumbs up emoji pop up on screen. It made her lips twitch into a small smile. Her wife was such a dork sometimes.

She set her phone aside and closed her eyes.

Fact: her mother had done nothing to stop her father from kicking her out of the house all those years ago.

Fact: her mother was now dying and needed her there. Now.

Maggie could say no. She could refuse to go back and instead resolve herself to staying in National City while her mother died alone by claiming to have the moral high ground. No one would blame her. No one but Maggie herself. At the end of the day, she knew that there was no moral high ground for something like this and saying no certainly wouldn’t place her on one. Saying no wouldn’t make a statement, it would just make her the daughter who refused her dying mother’s last request. And that just wasn’t who she was.

Maggie’s phone buzzed. She glanced down to see a text from Lucy.

Your aunt called me.

Maggie wanted to be annoyed by that piece of information. But she knew her aunt was only trying to help.

I can get us all a flight for the first thing in the morning, if that’s ok w/ you.

Trust Lucy to be on top of everything when no one else was.

Please, Maggie typed back.

Days. Her mother had days. She had to get there sooner rather than later. She just had to.

-

By the time Maggie got home, she felt like she had gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson. Everything in her body was starting to ache and her head was pounding. She didn’t know if was from stress, the grief that was slowly starting to seep through, or some combination of both.

She found herself pulled into a hug almost as soon as the door shut behind her. She stiffened for half a second before melting into Lucy’s embrace. She pressed her face to Lucy’s shoulder and took a deep breath, savouring the hints of cinnamon, jasmine and rose that made up Lucy’s perfume. It was a welcome distraction from the throbbing migraine building just behind her eye.

After a few moments of just enjoying Lucy’s presence, Maggie pulled away. She looked around the apartment.

“Where’s Alex?” She asked.

“Grabbing dinner from that place on 32nd.” Lucy looked her over. “Are you okay?”

Yes. No. Maybe. Maggie didn't know.

She shrugged. “I guess. It just...I wasn’t expecting this.” She sighed. “I feel kinda guilty, to be honest.”

Lucy frowned. “Guilty? For what?”

Maggie shrugged again. “For…” She trailed off. “For feeling sad, for grieving. I don’t really have that right, you know?”

“Don’t have a…Mags, no, you absolutely have a right to feel the way that do right now,” Lucy said.

“I haven’t spoken to my mom in almost 20 years, Luce,” Maggie said. “We weren’t, aren’t, close.”

They had stopped being close the moment she walked through the door to find her father ranting about how he wouldn’t have a child living in sin under his roof.

Lucy brushed a thumb against Maggie’s cheek. The touch was gentle, but Maggie was still so overwhelmed by everything that it made her flinch ever so slightly.

“She was still your family, Maggie. Just because you and her haven’t spoken doesn’t mean that she stopped being your mom.”

Maggie bit her lip.

Lucy sighed. “People arguing over who had the ‘right’ to mourn my mom tore my family apart for years,” she said. “You’re allowed to grieve over what was and what could have been.”

“There’s no use in wondering about what might’ve been Lucy,” Maggie tried, only to fall silent at the look Lucy gave her.

“For something like this, there is.”

Before Maggie could say anything to that, the door opened behind them. Both of them turned to see Alex stumbling through the doorway with multiple bags of takeaway in hand. Those bags were carefully placed on the ground as soon as she caught sight of her lovers.

Maggie let Alex pull her into a hug. She pressed her face against Alex’s shoulder and closed her eyes.

“I don’t…” Know what to do. How to react. How I’m supposed to feel.

She felt Alex press her lips against her air just as Lucy came up from behind to join in the hug.

“We’re right here,” she heard Alex murmur into her hair. “We’ve got you.”

Maggie clenched Alex’s top. She couldn’t stop the sob that rose to her throat. She pressed her face even harder against Alex’s shoulder and started to cry.

The bags of takeaway were forgotten as the Alex and Lucy worked to comfort Maggie.

-

Maggie couldn’t stop her leg from bouncing during the drive to the hospital. The three hour flight to Omaha had done little to lessen her nerves.

There was a yelp from up front as Alex cut off another driver and floored it.

And Alex driving was certainly doing little to help that either.

“Yeah, yeah, fuck you too buddy!” Alex groused, flipping the bird at the horn blaring behind them.

“God, this is almost worse than Kandahar,” Maggie heard Lucy mutter up front. She didn’t miss the death grip Lucy had on the overhead handle.

“Your wife is certainly a...spirited driver,” her aunt said quietly.

For the first time in days, Maggie’s lips twitched into something resembling a smile. “There’s a reason Lucy turned so white when Alex offered to drive, tía.”

“I just thought that was a gringa thing.”

Maggie rolled her eyes. “Lucy’s only half gringa, tía.”

“Still a gringa.”

“Tía.”

“I’m joking mija,” her aunt said. Her grip tightened suddenly as Alex sped the car up even further. “Does your wife realise that it’s a two hour drive from the airport to Blue Springs?”

Maggie caught Alex’s glance through the rearview mirror. She smiled. She knew what Alex was trying to do.

“Something tells me that she knows, but she doesn’t really care what the GPS says.”

-

Alex pulled into a parking spot with a neatness that clashed with the recklessness of the overall drive itself.

“We’re here!” She announced.

There was a brief moment of stunned silence that was broken by Lucy throwing the car door open. Maggie winced at the sound of their girlfriend retching her guts out. She shook her head and followed Lucy out of the car, leaving her aunt alone with Alex.

She found Lucy behind the car with a hand braced against the trunk. She rubbed Lucy’s back as she coughed.

“When we get back to National City,” Lucy wheezed. “Remind me to look up whoever did Alex’s driving test and sue them for daring to give her a license.”

Maggie chuckled and kissed the side of her head. “Yes, dear.”

“Hey, my driving’s not that bad,” Alex said, coming up behind the both of them. “I got us here, didn’t I?”

Maggie and Lucy exchanged looks. Alex’s driving had gotten them to the hospital and under two hours to boot, but Maggie wasn’t too keen on repeating the whole experience. From Lucy’s grimace, Maggie was willing to bet that Lucy shared her sentiments.

“I’m driving back,” was all Lucy said in a tone that refused to be argued against.

Alex huffed.

Maggie turned to her attention away from her lovers to eye the hospital. It had always been an imposing building in her youth. Now, knowing what she would likely face inside, it was even more so.

Lucy’s hand slipped into hers. Alex’s joined it in the opposite hand a moment later.

“We’re right here, Mags.”

Maggie let out a shaky breath. “Right.”

She held both Alex and Lucy’s hands in a deathgrip as the three of them plus her aunt made their way inside.

-

The woman in the bed was so different from the woman in her memories. Maggie remembered a woman with perfectly coiffed hair, a regal air, a bit of Mexican snark peppering words every so often.

The woman in the bed had none of that. She was a mess of tubes and wires. The oxygen mask on her face fogged with shallow breaths. It made Maggie want to cry. She settled for swallowing back the lump in her throat instead.

“We’ll leave you alone for a bit,” Alex whispered.

Maggie panicked. “You’re leaving?!”

“Shh…” Alex soothed. “I’m staying, I’ll just be out here in the hall.”

“And Lucy?” Maggie looked to their girlfriend.

“I’m headed to the funeral home,” Lucy said.

“Luce--”

Lucy shook her head. “You need to focus on your mom right now, Maggie,” she said. “If I go and start the arrangements now, it’s one less thing for you to worry about.”

It took Maggie a moment to realise that they were playing to their strengths. Lucy’s legal and administrative knowledge were useless in a medical setting while Alex’s medical background could do nothing for her when attempting to make funeral arrangements.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Trust Lucy to be the logical one when her lovers felt like the world was crashing down around them.

Lucy kissed her cheek. “I’ll be back in a bit.”

She walked off with Maggie’s aunt in tow, leaving Maggie and Alex standing alone in the hallway.

Maggie took a deep breath. “Is she gonna know I’m in the room with her?” she asked quietly.

Alex nodded. “Yeah. I checked her chart, she’s still aware and…mostly there,” she finished awkwardly.

“Mostly.”

“She’ll know it’s you, Mags,” Alex said.

Maggie said nothing. She walked into the room and took a seat next to her mother’s bedside. She carefully took an IV-laden hand in hers.

“Mami?” she whispered.

To her relief, her mother’s eyes fluttered open. They were foggy from a combination of pain and the various drugs being administered.

A hiss of the oxygen mask. “Margarita?”

Her voice was so weak, it broke Maggie’s heart. She never thought her mother could ever sound like that.

“Yeah mami, it’s me,” she said. “Estoy aquí.”

“Lupita?”

Maggie knew what her mother was asking. “Ella está con mi, mi amiga.” A part of Maggie hated herself for hiding. “Ella dijo que necesito un abogado y mi amiga es una abogado.”

That part wasn’t a complete lie. Lucy was a lawyer.

“Claro.” Maggie noticed her mother’s eyes drift to the doorway. She followed her line of sight to see Alex.

“Y ella? Quién es ella?”

Maggie swallowed. She absently rubbed her wedding ring. “Ella es mi compañera,” she eventually said.

“Compañera como una amiga o…como una esposa?”

Esposa. Wife. The word came so easily from her mother’s lips that at first, Maggie thought she had misheard her. The expectant look her mother aimed her way, though, made it clear that she hadn’t.

She licked her lips. “Um, como una esposa,” she admitted. “Ella es mi esposa. Se llama Alex.”

Maggie felt her heart start to pound against her ribs as soon as the words left her lips. What if her mother said something rude about Alex? What if what her mother said was an echo of what Oscar Rodas had screamed at her all those years ago on a Valentine’s Day night? What if what if what if--

A movement of a thumb across the back of her hand snapped Maggie from her internal panic. She glanced at her mother’s face. There was no judgement, only eyes that were clearing with curiosity.

Maggie saw her mouth open with a question, but before it could be asked, the squeak of rubber against linoleum caught the attention of both of them. Maggie looked over to see a man in a white coat walk in. He wasn’t Dr. Karkouli.

“Who are you?” she asked.

He didn’t look up from the chart in his hands. “Jason Hendrix, haematologist on this case,” he said. “And you are?”

“The daughter.” Maggie couldn’t keep the clipped tone out of her voice.

Hendrix nodded. “Right, so are you aware that your mother here has myelodysplastic anemia?”

Yes, she knew. Her aunt had given her the entire run down on the way to the hospital. Her mother on the other hand…

“Myelo…que es esto, Margarita?” her mother asked.

Maggie’s jaw tightened. “Nothing, mami.”

Her tía had specifically asked her sister’s care team to not tell her about her condition. Sometimes, ignorance was bliss and sometimes, it could make the difference that gave a patient days instead of hours.

Hendrix continued like he hadn’t heard Maggie. From the way his face was still buried in the chart, she knew it was likely.

“It’s a type of blood cancer--”

Maggie had heard enough. “All right, you’re done!” she snapped.

Before he could say another word, she shoved him out of the room. Blood pounded in her ears. She didn’t stop moving him until his back slammed into the wall.

Maggie wanted to rail against the haematologist, wanted to scream at him, wanted to strangle him and punt him through a wall. Her tía had made one request and this, this pendejo hadn’t followed it.

Alex stepped forward. “Who the fuck taught you your bedside manner?” she demanded. “I want the name of your supervising physician right now because you are no longer on this case.”

Hendrix sputtered. “That’s not your call to make Miss—”

Maggie took a sick satisfaction at the startled yelp he let out the second Alex’s hand fisted his scrub top and dragged him close.

“It’s Doctor,” Alex all but snarled. Her voice was like ice. “Doctor Danvers, and it absolutely is my call because my wife and her family requested that you not inform the patient of her condition, a simple, reasonable request given her status, and you elected to ignore it.”

“I, I…”

“That’s enough, Hendrix,” a voice interrupted.

Maggie looked past the rapidly paling haematologist to see the Dr. Karkouli coming up. He had a deep frown etched into his face that wasn’t aimed at Alex, but rather the hapless man in her grip. It told her that he had heard everything.

“Doctor Danvers, if you could please release my colleague.”

Alex did just that.

Hendrix turned to Karkouli. “Doctor Karkouli, this…”

“I said that’s enough.” Karkouli’s voice was equally as icy as Alex’s. “You’ve done enough. As of this moment, you’re off this case. We will discuss your bedside manner or rather lack thereof later.”

Maggie almost wanted Hendrix to protest further, to say something and so that he would get ripped to shreds. But the rest of her just wanted him to shut up. Karkouli was right, Hendrix had done enough. If he opened his mouth again, she was liable to punch him before either Karkouli or Alex could cut him down.

She watched his mouth open, only to click shut.

“Yes, Doctor,” he said, shooting Alex a dark look. He flinched at the one she returned him. He promptly turned on his heel and stalked off.

Karkouli sighed. “Doctor Danvers, Maggie, I apologise on behalf of my colleague,” he said. “He will be disciplined.”

“Good,” Maggie grumbled. “Now, my mom. I know she’s not in the best place right now, but what he said, it’s not gonna…”

She trailed off when she noticed Karkouli’s smile turn sad.

“I’m afraid that your mother’s condition was already extremely fragile. With what Hendrix said, there’s a very good chance that her condition will worsen.”

“Can’t you go in there and tell her that he was wrong? That he read the wrong chart or something or—” Maggie couldn’t stop the pleading note her voice took.

“Maggie,” Alex interrupted gently. “It doesn’t work that way, babe.”

Maggie bit her lip. Whoever came up with the phrase, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me was a fucking liar.

She took a deep breath. “Can I go in and talk to my mom?” she asked. “Maybe she didn’t believe him, maybe…”

Karkouli tipped his head. “Of course. While you’re in there, there are a few things I’d like to discuss with your wife, physician to physician, provided I have your permission.”

“Go ahead. She’ll probably understand it all better than I can,” Maggie said. She gave Alex a weak smile before stepping into her mother’s room, leaving the two to talk.

If she thought her mother had looked weak when she had arrived just hours earlier, it was nothing compared to the woman she saw now. It was obvious that the information Hendrix had revealed had had an effect on her mother.

Maggie sat in the chair next to the bed and took her mother’s hand in hers. “Hey, mami,” she whispered.

“Margarita…” It came out as a wheeze.

“Yeah, I’m right here, mami,” she said.

A heavy breath. “Tengo cosas que necesito decirte porque el haematologist dijo…”

No. She wasn’t going to do this. Not now.

“Mami, está bien,” Maggie tried to reassure her. “Él se equivocó. Puedes ganarle a esto, yo sé que puedes. Todo lo que tienes…”

She felt like a child again, pleading for her parents to fix the world’s latest evil because she thought they could do anything. Maria Rodas had certainly seemed the person who could fix anything, right any wrong, fight the hardest of fights and come up on top.

“Margarita.” Despite the overall weakness in her mother’s tone, there was still enough sharpness to make Maggie’s jaw click shut. “Suficiente. No puedo y no quiero.”

The exhaustion in her voice made Maggie stop cold. Everything finally clicked into place.

Tu mamá dijo que ella nunca iba a volver a su casa, her aunt had told her quietly on the way to the hospital. Maggie hadn’t wanted to believe it. Her mother was such a strong woman. To think that she was resigned to never returning home, to dying elsewhere, it just didn’t compute.

But now it did. Her mother was tired. Her kidneys were failing. Her liver was nothing more than a scarred hunk of flesh. And now she knew she had a cancer they couldn’t treat because her body was just too far gone.

It wasn’t fair. Maria Rodas was a strong woman. She deserved more than this, deserved a better death than this. She should have been at home with years ahead of her. But the universe had already decided she would get none of that. She was in a hospital bed with hours ahead of her and she was going to die here.

“Okay.” Maggie let out a shaky breath. “Okay, mami. No tienes que pelear.” She reached up and brushed her fingers against her mother’s curls. She ignored the way her heart cracked at the sight of her mother’s eyes fluttering shut at the gentle touch.

“Estoy muy cansada, Margarita…”

“Sí mamí, yo sé.”

“Tu esposa.” Maggie felt her heart leap once more at the word. Esposa. “La mujer de antes, la pelirroja, ella te hace feliz?”

“Sí, mami.” Both Lucy and Alex made her feel happier than she ever thought she could be. Not that she would tell her mother that, even with the woman on her deathbed.

A small, weak nod. “Bueno.” Her head lolled back against the pillow. “Te amo, mijita. Siempre.”

Maggie bit back a sob. She hadn’t heard those words from her mother in years. Hearing them now felt like a gut punch, a reminder of everything that still needed to be said but would likely stay unsaid.

“Te amo también.” Maggie didn’t miss the way her mother’s lips twitched upwards into something that resembled a faint, pleased smile just before her eyes slipped shut. There was a soft breath, then an almost inaudible groan. Her hand slackened in Maggie’s grip.

“Mami?” She tightened her grip on her mother’s hand, as if trying to provoke a response.

Nothing.

Maggie let out a shuddering breath. This time, she couldn’t stop the sob from coming through. She stood and pressed her forehead against her mother’s as she started to cry.

Te amo. Te amo. Vuelve por favor. Tengo cosas que necesito decirte. Quiero decirte más sobre mi esposa y nuestra novia. Quiero decirte sobre mi vida y más. Vuelve por favor. Por favor.

The door hissed open behind her. A hand gently placed itself on her shoulder.

“Maggie, sweetheart.” Alex’s voice was soft. “C’mere.”

She let herself be pulled into Alex’s arms. She tucked her face into her wife’s shoulder to try and muffle the sound of her tears. She felt Alex start to rub small circles on her upper back. The gentle motion made her cry even harder.

[wenamedthedogkylo]

Tagged Yo

Name: Briana, but I go by Bree and sometimes Bryn

Gender: Genderfluid (65% female, 30% nonbinary/other, 5% male)

Star sign: Capricorn

Height: 5′ 8″

sexuality: Bisexual

What image do you have as wallpaper: A pic I took in FFXV of Ardyn which looks like he stole the camera and took a selfie. It’s my lockscreen and my wallpaper.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?: In like 2nd grade, cause all the boys in my year were trolls and I was sick of them. We don’t talk about it. Or 2nd grade in general, it was a bad year.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years: It’d be nice if I was settled in a successful acting/writing career, but the way things are going who knows.

If you could be anywhere else right now, where?: England. Preferably London. Unless we’re talking, like, LITERALLY anywhere, including places that don’t exist, cause then I’ll take Middle-earth or Eos.

What was your coolest Halloween costume: Uh... hm. Tough. I’m gonna go with my Phantom of the Opera Red Death costume sophomore year of college, because I made the mask myself. It was based on the movie version, obvs, and of course it was far from perfect, but it still turned out awesome and since it was also for a class, I got the highest grade on that mask-making project. So booyah. But in high school, I was Darth Vader, Eric Draven aka The Crow, Batman, and then I was gonna do The Joker (Dark Knight version) but I could only get the makeup and scars and not the suit, so my friend lent me a purple fairy costume and I was a Joker Fairy. I won a costume contest.

What’s your favorite 90s show: Uhhhhhh... I suddenly forgot literally all 90s shows. I didn’t really watch TV in the 90s, so... hang on lemme look some up. Okay uh... Dexter’s Lab, Powerpuff Girls, I really liked those. Um, Freaks & Geeks was pretty good? Oh, Friends is pretty classic. 

Who was your last kiss?: I literally have no idea, it’s been years lmao

Have you ever been stood up?: Not that I can think of, that sort of requires someone to ask you out, ya feel me?

Have you ever been to Las Vegas?: Once, my freshman year of college. My bff from high school’s mom paid for us to go see Avenged Sevenfold at the Hard Rock Café, only it was RIGHT before my very first finals. So obviously I said FUCK IT cause finals week was Thur-Wed, and I didn’t have any finals until Monday at 8:00 AM. So we flew out Friday morning, went to the concert Saturday night, and flew back Sunday. And then I went to my final hating the world but happy for the experience. Since I was still 17 at the time, we didn’t do any gambling or drinking but neither of us wanted to anyway so it was all good.

Favorite pair of shoes: Whichever one I’m wearing the most at any given time lmao

Favorite fruit: Probably mangoes, I really can’t resist them

Favorite book: The Hunchback of Notre Dame, followed closely by the Inferno from The Divine Comedy, Frankenstein, and Dracula.

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: Only one thing? Jeez. Um. It’s either a) the time I stuck a prop necklace for a play I was doing in a floor socket, nearly electrocuted myself, destroyed the necklace the day before opening, and looked like a moron in front of my cast and crew, all because my brain literally went, “hey, this part of the necklace is flat! I bet it would fit in that slot on the socket!”; b) the time I tried networking at the place I was temping because I wanted them to offer me a permanent job, and ended up so drunk that I passed out on the MAX home, stumbled off a stop, fell over and puked on my boots, and had to be taken to the emergency room; or c) the time I was at a band trip up the river in high school and wanted to swim across the river with my friends, forgetting that I was a scrawny weakling until I was at the mercy of the current, nearly got run over by a jet boat, and was so tired by the time I crawled to the rocks on the other side that they were already ready to go back across, I had to rest, and then almost drowned trying to swim/float my way back over because I was so tired. Straw poll, what do you think was the stupidest?

Hogwarts House: Ravendor, it’s really a 50/50 split at this point

Hours of sleep: Who the hell knows anymore? Usually 6+, often 12 because ~my brain doesn’t work properly~.

Blankets you sleep with: Preferably like one or two sheets, a comforter, and maybe some soft throws on top of that, but I’m not picky anymore.

Favorite Bands: Panic! at the Disco and Fall Out Boy are probably the top right now, also Imagine Dragons and WALK THE MOON probably, and Golden Bough which I’ve listened to literally since I was born. And I guess you could count Vitamin String Quartet. I don’t really listen to music that required bands much...

Favorite Solo artists: I actually listen to more solo artists than bands, but still less than just classical and instrumental. Faves are probably Lady Gaga, David Bowie, The Living Tombstone, Kesha, Andrew Bird, Sia, and Syrano.

Song stuck in my head: O-FUCKING-KAY LET ME TELL YOU, so for the last like two weeks I’ve had three songs cycling through my head and I wanna die. Bitch Better Have My Money (okay, not bad, it’s a fuckin awesome song); Tunak Tunak (SWEAR TO GOD WHY, WHY DID IT COME BACK TO HAUNT ME); and to my utter horror The Living Tombstone’s “W* *r* N*mb*r *n*” remix (I WANT TO FUCKING DIE AND IT’S @chocokweehn‘S FAULT)

Last movie I watched: Alice in Wonderland (1951), I got nostalgic

Why did I create my blog: Someone on the ProBoards RP I was on posted a gif, and I was like 😱 what is this soRCERY? WITCHCRAFT?! And so I boogied over here and just started exploring. And I’ve been here ever since, just cause I liked the format and the reblogging and the Idk the community feel? And now I’m trapped like the rest of you lol.

What do I post: Basically anything I think is worth it. Humor, politics/activism stuff, art (mostly others, sometimes mine), fandom stuff, pretty things, Idk just whatever.

When did I create my blog: Like early 2011? I think February 2011, I’d have to check which I don’t know how to do

Do I have other blogs?: So fuckin many, mostly RP blogs, but the main other ones are @peredhelhathladring, which was my last URL that I wanted to save so I made it a Star Wars only blog (which is funny cause the URL is in Sindarin, a very not-Star Wars language), and @breerps which is my writing/RP/inspiration blog.

Do you get asks?: Now and then.

Following Blogs: 1,836, and honestly so many are probably inactive and I need to go cull them but who has the energy for that

Favorite colors: Dark red, dark purple, black, and gold

Lucky numbers: 7

Instruments: I played flute from 5th grade to I think sophomore or junior of high school, then switched to alto saxophone from then to freshman year of college. I still have my instruments, I just haven’t lived anywhere where I could play them without disturbing other people. I’ve dabbled with piano and guitar for a long time and I have a keyboard that I plunk at sometimes.

What am I wearing: Black t-shirt, black, gray, and pink fuzzy pj pants, and Star Wars socks

Dream job: Actor and writer

Dream trip: Paris, specifically to Notre Dame

Favorite food: Chocolate. Just, yeah... chocolate.

Nationality: American

Followers: 1,441, with blocking all porn blogs lmao

Reasons for your url: Because I’m Star Wars trash, and I was thinking about how Indiana Jones named himself after the dog and was like how funny would it be if Kylo Ren did that?

Tagging: @aceofaces20, @comepraisetheinfanta, @maiievshadowsong, @arcanerogues, @hey-hey-shutthefuckup, uh yeah just whoever wants to