#fuck u I love this british man and if u think otherwise u are WRONG

[nyxx-nth]

Toast staying up late, writing his books, alone in his room in England. College age. He idly swirls the glass of whiskey in his hand as he stares contemplatively at the words on the screen. He takes off his readers and rubs at his tired eyes, sighing in discontent. His eyes flick to the clock, to the screen, to the clock. He should try to get some sleep before class. On their way back to his screen, his eyes catch on a picture in its frame. He reaches out, brushes a thumb over a figure in the image. He flips it face down on the desk and readjusts his position in his seat.

The rapid clacking of the laptop keyboard fills the room again.

[jayke0]

You Know I Love It When You Beg

Pairing: Steven x fem reader

Summary: kinktober day 2, Public Play

Rating: 18+

Warnings/content: public play, vibrating toys (cock massager and insertable vibrator), Dom!Reader, Sub!Steven, teasing, cum in pants, cumming easily, who ever cums first gets fucked, mention of pegging, light mocking, name calling (just mild British insults), lmk if there's anything else i should add :).

Word count: 1,071

Credit: @automnepoet for proofreading ily.

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"Love, can we try something?"

Steven's voice echoes from the hallway as he approaches the kitchen where you're sat, phone in one hand and tea in the other.

"Mmmm depends... if it's anything like those cardboard tasting crisps, then absolutely not." You chuckle, but as you see Steven's nervous face your laughter is cut short, "Sure darling, what's up?" You put your mug down.

Steven chews the inside of his cheek (a habit you'd tried to get him out of months ago but to no avail) as he places the boxes on the table, sheepishly occupying the seat opposite you. 

You examine one of them before holding it up next to your face. "Vibrators? Why are you so nervous about this? Not like we haven't used them before—" 

"I wanna go out with them on, maybe to like, a posh restaurant or something," he quickly interjects. "I think it'll be... fun, if that's the right way to describe it. I'm sure I'll regret calling it that later." He chuckles a little uneasily.

"Oh."

The idea fills you with excitement, and that's evident by the grin that creeps across your face. "You sure you can handle that, sweetheart?" You batter your eyelashes at him and reach out to take his hands "You know how fast you cum." 

Steven huffs in response. "All the more reason to do it! You're just as easy to work up, dear." He raises a brow at you before leaning closer "What's wrong, you scared?" The evil grin now plastered on his face instead.

"No! No... of course not— take that goofy look off your face—" you shove his head gently which results in a giggle from the man. "So you'll do it then?" He asks eagerly, and it's hard to say no to his stupid happy face.

You'd both agreed not to turn them on until you've actually reached the restaurant, otherwise it'd kind of ruin the whole fun of it… given how easy you both get worked up, despite how you argue that you don't.

Fortunately, you get seated in a somewhat closed off booth, and you notice how steven seems a little relieved at that.

"Steven."

"Yes, dear?"

"You look very handsome this evening." You compliment, and he's about to thank you for your kind words, but he's cut off by his hand slapping over his mouth.

"You bugger..." He manages to groan as he feels the vibrations already buzzing through his slacks.

You give him a smug look. "Oi, that's not a very nice way to talk me after i compliment you! Maybe I should turn it u—"

"No!" Steven's hand flies over your phone to protect his dignity. "Not yet... please." He breathes, giving those big puppy dog eyes that you always fall for. 

"Oh baby, you know I love it when you beg."

That warrants a quiet whimper from Steven, and honestly you're surprised how he's already getting worked up over this; he must've been fantasizing about it for a long time. 

Steven is patient though, always is, and that's one of the things you both love and absolutely hate about him, because he can edge you for hours sometimes, bring you to that cliff just to rip you away from it for the 6th time. He waits till you've relaxed before striking, waiting till you ask the waiter to take your orders to pounce on you.

A shiver runs up your back as you feel the buzzing perfectly stimulate your clit, the sudden feeling making you bite down on your lip hard. You briefly give Steven a death stare before continuing your order… only to feel him turn it up further. The vibrator is pressed against that sweet spot inside you, and you find it difficult to not rock back on it with the waiter breathing down your damn neck. You hide your moan with a cough and thankfully get through the order, and once the waiter is out of sight you turn Steven's all the way up.

His sly smirk is quickly wiped from his face as his hips buck forward instinctively and he hides his face in his hand.

"You prick," you mumble to him, now slightly rocking against the buzzing like you wanted to a couple of moments ago, "you handsome prick." 

Steven looks at you, and you can see how fast his chest is rising and falling now, but the look he's giving you is one of complete submission; was it really that easy?

"Oh c'mon, you're not gonna cum yet are you, sweetheart?" You mock lightly while your hand rubs his shoulder. You lean in towards his neck and take in the smell of his cologne (your favourite one) before nipping the skin. "Don't cum Steven, I wanna get fucked tonight."

That, of course, only makes his situation worse, his face now beet red. "God, I can't help it, shit it feels so good." He moans softly and reaches for your phone to turn it down.

You let him, since you don't want it to be over too early… and you at least want your starter.

You're still rolling your hips towards the pleasure vibrating through your underwear when the waiter brings over your desserts, the starter and main having gone surprisingly easy despite both of you now huffing and arousal seeping through your underwear. 

"Thank—yOU—" another moan hidden by a cough when Steven tries to embarrass you again.

You look at him darkly before running your hand over his thigh, resorting to the one thing that you know works on him; fuck cares if it's cheating.

"Please baby, I want you to cum for me..." you whisper in his ear with your best desperate tone, "Just want you to make a mess in your underwear, can you do that for me, sweetheart?" 

And boom, that's all he needed as he shrinks in on himself and hunches over, his body shaking a little while his hips wildly buck against thin air. He can't moan, but there's pants reminiscent of whimpers that leave his lips, until eventually he calms down.

"Good boy." You praise and pepper kisses over his neck and cheek, hand running up and down his back comfortingly.

"I want you bent over the bed when we get home, yeah?"

All Steven can do is nod enthusiastically, his cock already growing hard again at the thought of you fucking him just the way he loves.

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Prompts by: @/flightlessangelwings

Tagging people: @cowboymarcs @sad1st1c-wh0re @poopoobuttsy @boredzillenial @mllover260 @simpforbritgents @saevenswelt @partssoldseparately @keira-kaz2y5 @theincredibleinkspitter @l-lune @red-hydra

[milfzatannaz]

Hey it's me! The one that said about how zatanna can be more ''wrong'' in her relationship with john and how fans forget about it and just blame our british man. I will communicate with this ''🐇'' emoji, so you know it's me.

well my question is this: As I think Zatara is not the best father in the world

starting with the fact that he is highly overprotective and that ends up being something controlling. He always wanted to control Zee's life. I recently found out that after the ''death'' of his wife and the deaths of his Wayne's friends, Zatara became an alcoholic and please, I'm pretty sure he silently blamed Zatanna for it all. He had no one else and she was the only one he could take his anger out on.

second point: the way with in JLD 2018 he did the worst with Constantine. The guy literally pulled john out of the asylum, a broken and mentally stable john who had just been through trauma. zatara decided it would be a great idea to take this kid and put him through some of his magical shit he didn't want to get his hands dirty. He lied and manipulated his daughter and still made john never able to tell anything

third point: Zatara has already erased zee's memories and his trauma with puppets, which I think is wrong since she grew up with this fear and didn't know the reason for it, and I'm pretty sure he has erased her memory other times . In addition to him manipulating zee, because she ALWAYS defends her father, even when he is a fuck and is highly wrong. she was a dumb brat when she cursed at john and said horrible things to him in JLD #13 2018. All this to defend her goddamn dad.

maybe that's why Nick Necro wanted to kill Zatara so badly in the new 52

I don't agree with a lot of Zatara's actions, but I understand that he was protecting his daughter in a horrible way, it's difficult. I like their relationship, but I hate how Zatanna is dependent on her father and can't get over his death. All screenwriters always press on this same topic and it has already become something boring.

good, that's it! sorry to talk so much and my english is terrible, most of it is from the translator, the dangers of being brazilian. Anyway, I really admire everything you do and talk about johnzee and the vertigo universe in general, I'm with you in this fandom of 5 people!

hiya it's nice to hear from u again! I love receiving meta in my inbox!

and yeah you raise a lot of good points about Zatara, esp the 2018 reboot. I suspect that sideplot was written to heighten conflict between John and Zee- writers never make them overtly romantic, and for the JLD plot to move forward I feel like they need to have something keeping them at odds. Otherwise there's less of a justification of why DC hasn't fully developed them in 30 years.

also, aside from team comics, I think Zatara is often written this way to add some life to a rather flat character. He hasn't been anything but Zee's dead dad since 1986. The mourning daughter schtick is a tad tired, so this effort to make him posthumously more morally grey is probably just to add some spice. but it often backfires, bc Zee still glorifies him and has never done anything but miss him on panel, despite the mind-wiping and manipulation. So they keep introducing these plot points that should have a lot of emotional weight, but aren't developed.

that's honestly my problem with JLD '18 as a whole. visually cohesive with enough vertigo lore to make it go somewhere, its main problem is its own lack of commitment. All these things happened to both john and zee, and their individual characters and their relationship has not progressed at all. Zatara died for John, who himself had just been cradled in zee's arms, and it's never mentioned again. Zee kept secrets from him and there was no payoff. idk you can try and make a ~spooky~ comic but if there's no emotional development it all falls a tad flat.

[80s-roger]

Flirty & Insistent

Pairing: 70s!Roger Taylor x Fem!Reader

note: female reader's ethnicity will not affect the person who reads it. She's just greek and she already has a name but the POV will be in second person.

also, i won’t post smuts/series as often as i did until next month, due to uni’s exams period. but i’ll reblog and stuff, u kno. I’ll work in the meanwhile your requests xx love you all 

ps i worked hard on this one, i hope you like it as much as i did. feedback will be massively appreciated.

requested by anonymous:

"Plss write something smutty about roger being a massive flirt and being soo cheeky the reader(after trying acting indifferent and unimpressed) eventually gives in to the temptation of letting him have his way with her?? 💕💕 "

masterlist // dialogue prompts

summary: you left your country a decade ago to study in the UK and after graduating you established in Mallorca, Spain to work as a mixologist. That summer night, you're working for a party arranged by Queen's management to celebrate their "A Day At The Races" era success. The blonde drummer notices you fixing drinks with confidence and doesn't lose the chance to flirt with you. He's just trying too hard because you play it uninterested until he has his way with you.

word count: 3,933

warnings: surface sex, slow burn (becauase they were talking a lot before, idk if it really is a slow burn tho)

A huge party was taking place in Mallorca, with the famous rock band Queen being the main guests of the event. You were one of the bartenders so all you had to do that night was fixing drinks for every person until they'd be shitfaced. The preparations were ready: the event was hosted at the beachside, opposite the calm waves and the golden sand. The sunset was magical to stare at, ready to welcome the bright moon. You had a moment to appreciate it before guests would come at any moment. It was the only thing that reminded you of your ex without feeling angsty about it; you gotta admit you didn't break up with good terms. It was toxic, yet heartbreaking. You loved that man but he left after cheating on you. It's been half a year and you needed to give yourself a break from dating and making out regardless of how social your job is and how much flirt you've received.

The guests arrived, minute by minute they'd get from fifty to hundred. Many people were coming to your counter to order drinks and cocktails. Beautiful women and attractive men would try to flirt with you but turned them down politely saying while you're working you can't do otherwise so they respected it. All these people were actually invited by Queen, their management and the entire record company. They were all celebrating Queen's "A Day At The Races" success and certainly the band which were yet to be seen until midnight.

You were working your ass for a couple of hours now until the band showed up. You could tell by the huge welcoming. The applause, the cheers and definitely women cajoling over them. Here they were standing in the centre of attention, thanking everyone for supporting them and buying their records. Their music was playing at the stereo and you couldn't prevent yourself from jamming to their songs.

When their speech was over, everyone was free to do what they wanted so your bar counter was full again with people chatting and drinking. You saw the entire fucking band coming to your place, obviously for an order. You tried to stay calm because hands-off, you liked their music and fangirled a lot when you saw them live last year in London with your boyfriend.

"Hello beautiful, can I have some Moet & Chandon, please? I really need to celebrate!" Freddie spoke first, carrying a wide smile on his face.

"Sure." You kindly accepted his offer.

"I'd like the same with Freddie." Brian interrupted when you moved behind to grab the expensive bottle and open it.

"So do I." John added and you nodded to grab three glasses, for now.

"And you?" You turned your gaze to the blonde handsome drummer who was already checking you out, focusing especially on your face.

"What do you suggest?" He asked with his eyes being totally flirty.

"Ah, darling, just give us the bottle. Roger is kind of undecided when it comes to drinks." Freddie felt the weird vibe growing between Roger and you. John and Brian giggled, looking whether at Roger or you.

"Eh, our waiter will do it for you. Just sit at your table and he'll take care of you." You kindly warned and he laughed.

"Oh, alright then love. We'll wait for our bottle." He laughed and left with his bandmates, leaving Roger and you alone.

"So? What do you suggest?" Roger turned his gaze back at your eyes.

"What do you feel like drinking? Something sweet, strong, alcohol-free?" You asked trying to help him but he was certainly not trying to find what to drink. He was clearly trying to flirt with you.

"Something to keep me up all night, I guess. But don't make me feel dizzy." He put on a crooked smile and hell, he was attractive as fuck. He knew how to play.

"Right, how does a mojito sound?" You recommended.

"Sounds nice and local." He smiled and you turned around to grab the ingredients. "Are you local? 'Cause your accent doesn't sound British to me." He asked, trying to start a conversation.

"Eh no, I am from the Mediterranean area though." You laughed after turning again to him.

"Italian?" He guessed.

"Greek." You answered.

"Oh, I've been to Greece twice." He started.

"Really? When?" You turned your gaze surprised. You had no idea he has come to Greece for holidays.

"Two years ago I was with my ex-girlfriend, in Santorini. The sunset there is amazing. And the next year I went with John and Brian to Crete. We needed a dose of some Mycenaean civilisation. Thankfully we weren't noticed by fans or anyone else. We were clearly there for tourism." He explained. You were impressed he's seen your country, visited two of the many islands your country has.

"Well, we had some political issues when you guys came to Greece. We were recovering from the junta and had some important historical issues by the end of 1974 so I doubt they'd run behind you, no offence." You laughed while fixing his drink.

"Oh, that's bad. But I understand. How come you're here in Mallorca being a bartender?" He asked and leaned closer to you. There was a nice conversation going on.

"Before junta ruled my country, I was sent to England to study because my parents thought I would be privileged. Now you see me in Mallorca because I work here and besides, I wanted to live somewhere that reminds me of Greece. Studying abroad has the privilege of learning a new culture, a new way of life and so on. Which is so wrong for the locals back home." You explained and cut a slice of lemon before having it ready for him.

"Wait, by saying it's wrong, you mean that..." his brain stopped working for a second trying to understand what you meant.

"Patriarchy is the keyword. They want women to get married at 18 and start a family. But obviously, women have to stay home." You were triggered at your words and internally thanked your parents for giving you the chance to go abroad.

"Cheers to your parents then. I wouldn't get the chance to meet you tonight." He was impressed by your short storytime. "How do I say bottoms up in Greek?" He laughed after you placed him his drink.

"It's pronounced áspro páto." You smiled after saying a Greek word. It must have been a year since you last spoke Greek. You haven't visited Greece for a long time. You found yourself in Mallorca. It's spiritually free and not restricting.

"So, I haven't asked you yet. What's your name?" Roger asked after drinking. He made an oddly satisfying grimace which meant he liked your drink.

"Oh, it's Ellen." You answered. His gaze was literally focused on you the entire time. He wouldn't give up this easy.

"So Ellen, make yourself a drink. It's a treat for you." He offered and you kindly accepted. It's not bad, you've been offered many times. Besides, you needed a drink to stay energised.

"Thank you, Mr Taylor." You thanked him and then his smile vanished.

"If you want us to be in good terms, it's gonna be Roger." His hand was warning you.

"Thank you, Roger." You slightly smiled. "It's just that..." you stopped and checked around if your boss is nearby. "We are obliged to speak to our guests in plural." You whispered and he nodded. Possibly understood the situation.

"So what are you doing later?" He asked after swallowing a sip of his mojito.

"We're cleaning the mess and we're heading homes." You said after drinking a shot. A treated drink.

"I'm not talking about your colleagues. I'm talking about you." He was straightforward. He was so into you, it was obvious.

"Oh well, I'll clean up the mess and I'm heading home." You changed the point of view trying to cut off his flirty attitude.

"When's that time? Dawn?" He guessed.

"Probably at the morning. It's a Queen party, I doubt people will leave before the sun rises." You rolled your eyes sarcastically.

"So..." he started. "Have you been listening to our music?" He asked.

"Yes, since your first album. It was brilliant for a newly formed band." You said with a huge smile on your face and he appreciated it. He appreciated that you didn't fangirl in front of him, having that humble and uninterested attitude. He liked feeling like a predator trying to catch his bait.

"What's your favourite song of A Day At The Races?" He asked. He likes talking to people about his music.

"Definitely Somebody To Love." You affirmed, feeling passionate about your answer, that it seemed you could relate your existence to this song.

"Oh, it's a band's fave too. Well, you relate to this song, don't you?" He asked and his body was closer to yours. The counter was the only thing beside you.

"I guess I do." You looked down for a moment, thinking of your ex but his hand touched your jaw trying to lift you up. Your eyes were looking into his and this is how you noticed how blue they eventually are. An ocean.

"Is it about a guy? I'm sure he doesn't deserve you." He tried to cheer you up with his soft smile.

"It's not that. It's..." you sighed. "Well, this is getting too personal." You pulled back trying to stop the situation. But he wouldn't abandon his try.

"Do you have any specific lyric of the song you relate the most?" He asked.

"Yes, there is that one: I've spent all my years in believing you but I just can't get no relief, Lord." You kind of explained the situation within a couple of lyrics. "He cheated on me. He had the audacity of saying it to my face and left without looking back or apologising." You nearly tore but tried to keep it for yourself. This is getting too personal and you're opening your heart to a stranger that you feel comfortable with. Maybe because you've been listening to him and his bandmates for years and you've seen him live too.

"You know..." he looked down for a second trying to find the words. "At least he was honest. He could keep you for his entertainment if things didn't work with the girl he possibly slept with." He tried to wake you, but he was right.

"I don't even know how long he was cheating on me. However, I did notice a weird behaviour in the last couple of months we were together." You answered.

"Be happy that you're not with him anymore. He took your love for granted. This is not how it works." He said with his eyes still focused on yours.

"You know, we once saw you live. Last year." You tried to avoid talking about your ex the entire time.

"Oh! That's great! Did I look nice?" He joked and he gained a laugh from you. That made him feel nice.

"Definitely, you always look nice." You took a moment to check him out. And hell, he looks and smells so nice.

"I'm flattered." He smiled and you pulled back again to do your job. You could see your boss staring at you. That wasn't good.

"You better get going, my boss is supervising us." You said and he got the hint. You were as cold as you could be.

"Sure, will I see you later?" He asked and stood up from his chair, ready to leave.

"No. I'll be too tired by then." You answered and he was saddened by your reply. He thought he had you. His flirting wasn't sufficient. Which means he had to try again.

He left and walked to his bandmates, they were there talking about their success until Roger joined their conversation but it changed as soon as he sat on the sofa next to Brian.

"So, how did it go Rog?" Freddie asked and they were all ready to hear.

"She seems so uninterested and hard to get, I have to try again." He took out one of his cigarettes, ready to smoke and think.

"Ah, your type of girls Roger." Brian laughed. "You like feeling a hunter don't you?" He added.

"Of course I do. But she recently broke up and I reckon she's still into him. How do women's brains work anyway?" He asked, frustrated.

"Oh darling, I don't see her as stuck with her ex as you think she is. She's been avoiding your flirting because she works here." Freddie had a point and John nodded.

"Just wait for her shift to end and make a move. She noticed you were flirting with her." John suggested and they all agreed to it.

"It's gonna take hours. She said it's possible for the party to end after dawn. She also has to clean up with her colleagues." Roger explained and turned his gaze back to you. But you were already looking at him and when you noticed, you turned back to your counter.

"Fine, then do it now," Freddie advised and Roger looked at you considered. "Wait where's she going?" Freddie asked after noticing your figure leaving your position.

"James, would you mind taking my place for a moment? I really need to use the bathroom." You called for your colleague who politely came to your counter.

"Sure, go ahead. I'll be here as long as you need." He smiled and you left for the bathroom to take a very needed pee.

"Shall I go after her?" Roger asked.

"Fucking go!" Freddie pushed Roger to run after you no matter how awkward it would be.

You walked in the staff-only bathroom, rushing to the toilet. After drinking a few shots, you needed to pee like a champion. When you pushed the flusher you unlocked your door and the very first thing you saw, was Roger standing at the wall.

"What the hell are you doing here, get out!" You were shocked by his presence and he wouldn't move.

"This is the only chance I have with you right now. Your boss can't see us." He came closer to you.

"No, but he'll get suspicious!" You tried to pull back until you reached the counter. Now you were sandwiched between Roger and the counter. There was no space between you. His face was coming closer to yours.

"I locked the door in any case." His nose tickled yours and his hands placed you on top of the counter, sitting now and having his bulge, against your area. That feeling is the shit.

"I work here, I can't..." you tried to refuse but the feeling of getting fucked couldn't stop you.

"I can't be in this toilet too, but here I am." His lips touched yours with passion and lust. His arms wrapped your waist and lowered down to your arse, squeezing it gently and your hands moved to his neck and his cheeks, trying to hug most of it. You haven't gotten kissed nor fucked for a long time.

Living on the west side of Europe had given you many opportunities. The situation you're currently now couldn't even be referred to Greek religious people as a joke. They'd freak out and tell you crap like you ashamed your honour, your family and your future husband. Your parents were too open-minded to let you live in West Europe and live your life as you wanted to. You had sex with your boyfriend at nineteen, with no need to be your first wedding night, you wear shorts on summers because you feel like it and now you're having a one night stand with a rockstar of a band you like and it's never gonna be the same anymore. You played it hard-to-get because you felt it was wrong. But it wasn't. It's just one more experience to add to your diary.

"Are you sure you want to do this, here?" He stopped the kiss for a second, to ask for your approval.

"Yes, but let it be fast, or I'll be in trouble." You checked at the door. "Are you certain the door's locked?" You asked.

"Yes, I am. It's just that..." he stopped.

"What?" You were scared he regretted it and he'd leave you like the mess you already are.

"I want to get more of you, but in this counter, I don't have the chance. I'll cope with it." He unbuttoned your suit while your hands tried to unzip his jeans.

"If you stay a little longer in Mallorca, you can get more of me." You winked and he smiled, thinking he has more chances with you.

"Works for me." He whispered and turned to your lips again for a passionate kiss.

He helped you with taking your suit off, now staying on your bra when your hands put his jeans down. "Mind taking your bra off?" He asked while his mouth travelled your neck, giving it soft kisses.

"I'd rather wear it..." you refused taking it off after gaining a lot of insecurities because of your ex-boyfriend. You remember him saying how small your breasts are and with that, no other man can see it. Your A-cups haven't be seen by any other man. Not even by your ex after the second time, you had sex with him.

"As you wish..." he didn't insist and pulled your skirt up, on your waist, with his bulge rubbing against your core and turning you instantly wet. "How long has it been?" He asked after noticing the humidity between your legs with his hand.

"Must be eight months. I'm out of practice." You sighed.

"Don't feel bad about it, I'll do the work. You're already wet for me. I like it." He bit his lower lip and turned to your lips again, for a deep kiss. "God, you are fat-bottomed aren't you?" He smiled between the kiss after squeezing your thighs and your small waist. "I'm starting to have a thing for greek girls." He complimented your body type and that boosted your low confidence level. With a simple move, he placed you against the mirror, taking your thong off your left leg to have clear access inside your wet area. His hand pulled his erected penis out of his black underwear, ready to thrust inside you.

"You better start before I cum untouched." You exhaled and balanced yourself at the counter.

He smirked and trusted inside you, feeling him completely weird inside you, maybe because you haven't had sex for more than half a year. The sensation was amazing and penetration was always the thing that released you from thoughts. His hands squeezed your thighs and each thrust was a try to pull you closer to his pelvis. You couldn't stop breathing heavily. You had to be quiet and so did he. It was a staff-only bathroom and the key was turned horizontally so no-one could break in with a spare key.

"Oh god, this is amazing..." you moaned at every pleasuring wave while your hands played with his blonde hair.

"Fuck, yes, you're so tight and wet for me." He tightened his teeth as he exhaled into your ear.

His thrusts were giving you the orgasm you haven't had for a long time. It was the tension between you, that made it more passionate but fast enough to make you come earlier than you thought. Soft whimperings coming from your mouth sent him the message that you were close enough and so was he. You could tell by his sharp thrusts, getting smoother and sudden. His gaze was focused on your eyes. Your sight was getting blurry and your legs began to shake; it happens when you reach your orgasm and it feels terrific.

"Ah, God..." you moaned and tilted your head behind, where the mirror is. "That was so refreshing." You gasped after wearing your thong again.

"Ain't gonna lie, but this WC shag was the best I had." He laughed and wore his underwear and jeans again.

"I can't make comparisons to it, I've only had two boyfriends in my life and this is my first time fucking a stranger at my workplace's restroom." You buttoned your suit and stood up from the counter to fix yourself.

"Stranger?" He asked confused.

"Stranger, Roger. I mean, I do know you're a rockstar, a member of my favourite band and I've seen you live once but it won't change the fact you're a stranger. I know you as a persona, not as a person. You get it?" You tried to explain how it feels.

"Oh, I see." He nodded. "Will I see you again? I want to know you as a person if you want that too." He suggested.

"Sure." You kissed his cheek gently, letting him take the lead. You wanted him to make the move. "I'll just walk out from the WC first and make sure no one sees you when you get out." You said and walked through the door until someone tried to get in. A knock on the door was heard.

"Ellen, are you still in there?" It was James.

"Yes, I'm coming." You internally panicked and hinted at Roger to hide in the toilet. "Hey James, is everything alright?" You asked after opening the door.

"Yes, I wanted to check on you. You were absent for a quarter. Are you okay? You look like a mess." James liked you for a long period of time but he wasn't your type. He's way too cute for your standards.

"Yeah, I'm fine... I just felt a little dizzy and wanted to wash my face with cold water. I needed it." You lied after checking your face in the mirror. You were red as a tomato.

"Oh, fine then. You should get back to your post. The boss has been looking for you." He pointed outside and you felt really bad about it. Your boss suspects you since the moment you started chatting with the blonde man hiding in the toilet.

"Alright, I'll be back in a minute." You closed the door to his face and rushed to the toilet where Roger was hiding.

"You're a cute little liar, aren't you?" He teased and gave you a little slap on your butt cheek.

"I won't be anymore if my boss finds out." You rushed, trying to leave the toilet.

"How will I reach you?" He asked trying to learn your phone number.

"Just come at my post and I'll hand you a drink." You declared and left the room, heading fastly at your post. You stared at the Queen members, looking at you all smiles and winks. They probably knew what happened a quarter ago.

You fixed another drink for Roger, trying to look calm and relaxed. But you weren't. You were tense and it could be seen. Two minutes later, Roger came to your counter again with a crooked smile on his face, waiting for the drink. He was looking whether at his bandmates or you. There was absolute silence.

"Here's your drink." You smiled and handed his drink with a small paper around the glass. He carefully grabbed the paper so it couldn't be seen and walked away, heading to the balcony.

He grabbed the paper, unfolded it and there was your phone number and a note in it: "thanks for giving me a good time Rog"

He smirked at your note and placed it in his pocket, anticipating the moment he'd call you.

[chal-lelerc]

ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened​. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.

[planetjisungie]

NCT Dream reaction to S/O using British Slang

an; i could help myself im soRRY also im southern so some may not exist in the north? idk man im just vibing in London. side note, gifs have nothing to do w it i just like them 🥺 also i really wanted to put arkid in there but im not northern so i dont rly know how u guys use it

RENJUN

"fucking hell mate dont be such a wanker!" you groaned, banging your head against the car window. immediately following, you raised your fist in outright rage and aggressively moved your arm up and down. renjun, sat next to you gaped at the thick accent spewing the vulgarities. he was slightly surprised at the angry sounding outburst, even more so at the gesture you made afterwards.

"what did you say?" he leaned forwards, turning to you so you can translate it back into korean. at this, you fluster up slightly and swallow. how the fuck do you translate that?

"its— dont worry i dont think i can translate it" this would probably make renjun confused because what kind of thing would have had to have said for him not to understand?

"what does it mean then?"

"its just an insult"

LMAO after that day idk why but i can just see renjun bullying the poor dreamies with all these words that they don’t understand

JENO

"alright then you prick, just shove past me then. absolute bellend." you would sarcastically say after someone shoved between you and jeno, not even caring to apologise after knocking your phone out your hand.

jeno would get the insinuation of the insult, just from the pure malice and sarcasm that dripped off your words. he would also make one of his confused jeno sounds, helping you up as you picked your phone from the ground and made sure it wasnt broken. "huh? prick? bellend?" and then he would repeat the words, obviously not knowing what they mean.

"i— jeno, dont repeat anything i say from now on, okay?" you would look at him amused, from the cute korean accent as he tried to pronounce words that would just sound so very wrong when not said with a british/irish accent.

i feel like jeno would later on ask you what they mean with the intention to add them to a wordbank he uses to understand your small phrases, then probably get very confused when you explain the literal meaning of bellend. after that i dont see him using the words unless he makes it a habit of muttering them under his breath so its not embarrassing if he says it wrong yet he gets the satisfaction of cursing at someone with a word they dont know.

HAECHAN

"finally! scran!" you dashed towards your boyfriend that you would be eternally grateful for for bringing you snacks.

i feel like hyuck would be more confused than the profanities, because there really is no way to tell what scran meant with no underlying emotion. "scran? whats a scran?" he would probably think it was just a random word like yay until you would only just realise he didnt have a clue what you just said.

"scran means food babe"

for hyuck i doubt he would use the word scran again unless he was on a show and he suddenly remembers the word and just claps and points at the food like "ayyeee scrann"

JAEMIN

"this cake is pengers mate" you declare your love for the delicious spongey dessert while you eat it. jaemin just looked at you curiously while you ate. at first you would be self conscious from how hes literally just watching you eat, until you notice hes whipped out the english book where he writes all his new english words and was looking at you expectantly.

"so i know mate means friend in a casual way, what does pengers mean?"

then i feel like hed love the way you said it, then ask you to teach him more words like that. this would be when he finds the miraculous invention of ‘leng’ which baffles him because why the fuck would you need to use a word which means penger than peng? but then he would start using these words a lot, which would probably be cringey if it wasnt jaemin because im convinced he can do anything and it not be super cringey.

CHENLE

"y/n babe, have you seen jisung?"

"yes love, up the apples and pears"

😭man would be like?? excuse me??

"up the... up the apples and pears? are you feeling okay?" because he is actually pretty good at english he would obviously know what apples and pears are, the edible, tangible objects which grow on trees under the category of ‘fruit’. and jisung is too big to be inside a fruit.

"yeah, up the apples chenle, that is what i said" probably wouldnt hit you that he doesnt know what the fuck the apples and pears are considering all youve known is people knowing immediately what it means. "y/n...baby... what are the apples and pears? did jeno and jaemin feed you sugar cubes again?" he would halt his hunt for jisung and come sit next to you as you very slowly come to the realisation that he really doesnt know what the apples and pears are.

"oh shit! chenle im so sorry, the apples and pears is cockney rhyming slang for the stairs. jisung has gone upstairs"

after this i very much doubt chenle would use it, he would probably be reminded of it every time he saw stairs, an apple or a pear but i feel like cockney has to be said by the people who grew up saying it otherwise it doesnt sound right

JISUNG

"jisung sweets, you look knackered" your eyes scanned the tired boy who just walked into your room like a zombie and flopped onto the bed. he had just come back from dance practice, except the others came back 2 hours ago because jisung wanted to stay longer and perfect the routine.

i doubt the word would even register in jisungs mind until a few days later when he sees the word in an instagram comment. "y/n? what does n-n oh my god nevermind, what does this word mean" he would also probably give up on trying to pronounce it because literally fuck you english and your weird phonetics. so you would look over his shoulder to read the very familiar word with a hum.

"knackered? it means really tired or exhausted"

i dont think he would be using it ever again until he hears you say it a few more times incase he says it wrong. big babie can understand english but we know he worries about his speaking so would just listen to you say it before he even attempts to use it.

[beerecordings]

How do we recognize ableist content like that? I've never been in situations like that, so something that look pretty harmless to me could be in fact quite shitty. I don't want to share stuff like that and be unaware of it, how do I learn?

well thank you for asking!!! but the first thing I’d like to do is make it clear that while I do trust myself to recognize many common ableist errors/choices, I do not pretend to be an authority on this issue any more than anyone else who’s done some research, talked with other people, and worked to recognize things. I need help sometimes too! Also I’d like to reiterate that I am able-bodied and people with disabilities are free to correct me.

The second thing to notice is that SOMETIMES these things are context-dependent. For instance, while I usually gag to see Jameson made into like the son of somebody the same age as him, if you’re actually writing an au where Jameson and maybe another character or two are actually children to another character, that can be pretty cute!!! In that case an adult is not being infantilized and he is not made into a child because of his disability - he’s being made into a child because he’s a literal four-year-old and that’s the premise of the story (and he still can’t talk). Alternatively, maybe Jameson needs extra attention and love and protection from older brothers after a traumatic event - but at some point, that Jameson should begin to regain his independence, should still experience a wide range of emotions, and should not be condescended to about his emotions or ability to function alone. However, please be careful with this… don’t use context to make excuses if you’re actually pulling ableist shit.

I think that list I gave in the post I made is a good (but not comprehensive!) starting point for some of the things to look for that are offensive to people with disabilities (some of these are specific to mutism). Let’s take another deeper look at these points:

Before reblogging something with Jameson in it, for instance, ask yourself - does this infantilize the character?

Is Jameson unable to function alone in society beyond the reasonable limitations we would expect of a person with a disability? Is Jameson babied to a ridiculous degree by the other egos? Does Jameson only experience basic emotions? Does Jameson ever stand up for himself or display “unpleasant” and unromanticized emotions such as anger, desire to isolate, desire for violence, ugly grief and sorrow, etc? Disabled adults are still ADULTS. Don’t treat them like little kids!!! If you want to portray Jameson’s trauma reactions - and you should!! he’s been through a lot!! - make sure this is more complex than just reducing him to a sweet needy baby who needs a hand to hold twenty-four seven. He should have ugly reactions too and be more complex than sad sometimes because he’s disabled and needs more attention. Otherwise you are infantilizing his mutism and romanticizing his trauma.

Does this erase Jameson’s disability completely or partially?

I have had people tell me it’s okay to erase Jameson’s disability because “they just wanted him to have a cute British accent.” I have had people to tell me to “chill out” because it “isn’t a big deal” that people erase his disability. I’ve heard people say “I couldn’t really get into Jameson for some reason, he just wasn’t my favorite character - so I decided to make him my own and give him new powers and let him talk and now I like him a lot!”

FUCK OFF M8

DON’T WRITE HIM IF YOU AREN’T WILLING TO INCORPORATE HIS DISABILITY AND YOU HATE DISABLED CHARACTERS. WHY ARE SOME OF U LIKE THIS. HOW DARE YOU qUITE FRANKLY

DO NOT SUPPORT CONTENT WITH A SPEAKING JAMESON UNLESS ANTI IS ABOUT TO SHOW UP AND CUT THAT BOY’S THROAT OR MAYBE IT’S AN AU WHERE SOMEBODY ELSE HAS THE DISABILITY BUT I’M NOT A HUNDRED PERCENT SURE ABOUT THAT ONE -

When you erase Jameson’s disability, you are telling every disabled person who might come across your writing that there is something wrong with being disabled and that they need to be fixed, as well as warping your own perception of the disabled people you will meet in your life. Do not use magic spells to erase Jameson’s inability to vocalize. Do not just decide you prefer a vocalizing Jamie.

Is this a respectful and accurate representation of a character who cannot vocalize?

If you are not disabled, you probably should not write pieces deeply exploring his relationship with his disability, because you just can’t do it right. I’m tired of seeing people write like ten thousand words of whump about how sad Jamie is about being disabled and how he longs desperately to just be normal like everyone else!! If only he didn’t have to sign!!! And he never seems to make any progress at accepting himself, he never seems to have any righteous anger at the people who treat him like shit, he always seems to let himself be comforted by other people telling him how to perceive himself instead of coming to terms with it with the help of both others and his own internal development. Incorporate his disability, and yes, it’s okay if it upsets him that other people react poorly to his inability to vocalize sometimes, but avoid stories which focus on him dealing with his disability exclusively if you are not disabled. If his disability is the only thing that ever makes him sad or makes him experience a negative emotion, you have fucked up again and you are using his disability for whump points like an asshole instead of seeing him holistically. I get upset sometimes because I see people will get prompts about JJ and it will be like… “job interview!” so they write one where Jameson gets turned down for a job because of a disability or it will be like “mourn!” and it’s about how he mourns his lost voice and “spell!” is about Marvin trying to fix him and just….. I guess it’s okay to write that stuff every now and then, but it’s a BIG RED FLAG if someone takes every single prompt or thought about JJ and makes it about him being sad about his disability.

Is this a respectful and accurate representation of sign language?

Please be aware that Jameson speaks BSL, not ASL! I think most people mess that one up just because they don’t know, not because they’re ableist, so it’s great to spread awareness! If you are writing something about Jamie, though, you really should know. You should also try to learn a little about the way people sign and just do some research! Also, when writing Jameson, be aware of the signing. If he is in another room than Jackie, then remember that Jackie can’t “hear” him. You just forgot he couldn’t talk! Double-check your work or ask someone to beta and this one is avoided easily. Be open to someone pointing out “actually, Jameson couldn’t do that, he was downstairs!” and work to accommodate him.

If I were unable to vocalize, would I be offended by this representation?

Many of us have disabilities of our own. Think about the things that bother you and how they apply to mutism or even other disabilities like Chase’s depression. One thing that always helps me (though I am not in a wheelchair!) is comparing this to people in wheelchairs. Would it be okay for me to write a fic where a person had their legs magically fixed after a lifetime of not being able to walk and then everybody liked them better and they finally found purpose? Would it be okay for me to write ten snippets in a row about how sad they are they can’t walk? Would it be okay for me to just decide they can walk now because I’m annoyed when I have to write in their wheelchair? Is it okay for me to say that they can’t wheel themselves around or that they use magic to move at all times and would not be able to move at all if someone were not pushing them or they lost their magic? Is it okay for everyone to treat the person like a helpless baby because they can’t walk? Honestly, I think we know more than we think if we take a moment to critically examine. Trust your gut.

Does this contain common problems in portrayal of characters with disabilities/mutism such as derision or lamentation towards sign language, making the character defined entirely by their disability (always a cheerful character except when reminded of their disability, for example), having other characters explain things about their disability to them, or treating the character as childish, needy, and unable to function in society because of their disability?

Pretty self-explanatory, but well worth repeating.

Do not show derision towards sign language (though a villain might, if it was clear that they are the villain and doing something wrong!). We have already discussed the complexities of lamentation and I suggest that you avoid that as well, especially if you are going to make his character flat. If you are not disabled, you really can’t portray it well, and it’s ableist to focus so much on the disability that you do not give the character any other complexity. Do not make the disability the “tragic backstory” of the character’s life. Complexity is important because it means you are seeing the person as more than their disability! You should know things about the character other than “they are happy and sweet and sugary and never get angry or make mistakes!! except sometimes… they are sad because they can’t talk uwuw poor baby” you look that shit in the eyes and you tell it to fuck off, you hear me? It’s great to have a sweet, nice, sugary baby brother Jameson as long as he is more complex than that, with real independence and abilities of his own and complex emotions and character! His disability should not be his one weak spot or his tragic backstory or some shit!

ALSO DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT REFER TO JAMESON AS “THE MUTE.”

like dude even “the mute man” is pretty fucking shifty because why do you feel the need to define him by that??? but definitely not “the mute moved down the hallway” i will block you on sight and you will deserve it that is SO offensive would you call a person who can’t walk “the cripple???”

Don’t have a speaking character explain things about disabilities to characters with disabilities. Speaking characters should not be condescending towards the character about much of anything, really, or else you’re infantilizing - if you need someone to explain things, obviously that’s okay, but do it in a way that recognizes that this is a mature and independent adult.

The character with a disability should be able to function in society past the limitations that are to be expected. No, Jameson isn’t going to magically start talking, but if he wants to go on a walk alone, he can. Let him do things like writing or texting. Don’t be afraid to give him a cool job and awesome hobbies. Let him have independence. If you can’t imagine JJ living on his own because he can’t speak, you’re doing it wrong. Look for signs that Jameson is capable of things other than making tea and kissing his brothers good night.

It’s okay to have a Jameson with a slightly childish personality, and I love it when he’s a sweet boy! But there should be more to him than that. I’m just going to say it - you know when Jameson is being treated like a baby. You know the difference between infantilization and a nice friendly man with sweet cute hobbies and interests. You can see it. Trust yourself. Don’t buy it when you see it and if you’re writing him, make sure there is complexity instead of just sugar-sweet with a sugar-sweet filling. He’s an adult. Remember that and remember that it’s harmful to pretend otherwise.

Geez, that was a rant and a half. Again, I am not the perfect authority. But there are some tips.

Does that help at all?

Feel free to add on to that if you have seen specific things in the fandom that I might not have seen or you have a disability and have experience with being discriminated against.

[missytearex]

To Read List - Larry

Part 3 of my Larry to read list! Hopefully this is the last part (but if I know myself at all it probably won’t be).

Has the Ocean Lost Its Way by FullOnLarrie

Louis and Liam are professional surfers who have been traveling the world together for years. Now they travel with Liam’s pro-surfer girlfriend Amelia and their baby Vivian. They’re in Manly Beach, Sydney to compete in the 2017 Australia Open of Surfing when Louis meets Harry, a freelance surf photographer working for Surfer Magazine.

Louis wonders if his nomadic lifestyle will keep him single indefinitely or if there’s someone out there who’ll fit in with his little makeshift family.

burn this flame by rainbowninja167

“You’ve played keeper before?” Tomlinson asks suspiciously, hands on his waist.

“Er, yeah,” Harry coughs. “Loads of times.”

“Alright Popstar, if you’re sure,” Tomlinson tells him with a shrug, his professional expression already curling into laughter. Harry tries not to read too much into it. After all, how hard can goalkeeping really be?

When Harry gets invited to play in a celebrity charity match with Louis Tomlinson, Manchester United's star player, he's determined to impress him with brilliant football skills. The only flaw in Harry's otherwise foolproof plan? He has absolutely no football skills, brilliant or otherwise.

Strength in Softness by larrymylove

"As soon as he saw Harry’s picture, he froze. It was a picture of Harry practicing his boxing, heavy black gloves covering his fists as he punched at a bag hanging from the ceiling. His face was focused and he looked like an absolute beast. Louis reached out and touched the picture with his finger, consistently amazed by the duality of Harry. As he started at the picture, he wondered if Harry had pink nail varnish on his toes when it was taken, and what other tattoos and secrets he had buried underneath his workout gear and hard expression."

Or, the one in which Harry is a boxer/trainer, and teaches Louis that there can be, and is, strength in softness.

Galileo by 13ways

“Dangerous? Not haute?” Harry mused. “Why not haute?”

“‘Course you're haute, babe,” Louis smiled. He reached out to fix a stray curl that had dropped down onto Harry’s forehead. Harry stared at him with a dimpled smile, and Louis reared his head back to laugh. Harry craned his head back in parallel with Louis’s, watching him. He couldn't peel his eyes away. Louis Tomlinson laughing was the most beautiful thing in the world.

“You're a whole other level of charming, you know that?” Louis said. Harry leaned forward to kiss Louis. They both closed their eyes, savoring the moment. It was a kiss that should have happened ages ago.

Louis was captain of the state championship high school soccer team. Harry was that gorgeous, scarf-wearing, long-limbed British kid in his art class. They weren't supposed to be friends.

But somewhere along the line, Louis Tomlinson opened the locked mystery that was Harry Styles.

In This Moment by dimpled_halo

Louis is on a mission to right all the wrongs he’s made and Harry is the first on his list. He’s not looking to be in a relationship with him again–though he wouldn’t be opposed to it–but he really doesn’t want to leave this earth with Harry hating him.

Louis waits until the rush dies down, and when the last customer leaves the shop, he starts walking towards the front door. His heart beats faster, the closer he gets, the anticipation getting to be almost too much. He opens the door with shaky fingers, and when he goes inside Harry is in the middle of adding more scones to the display case.

“Welcome to Tiers of Joy, what can I get started for you?” Harry isn’t looking at him, but when his eyes make their way to Louis, he pauses. His eyes harden immediately.

***

A mix-up at the hospital causes Louis to reevaluate his life and he works on trying to fix his biggest mistake: letting Harry Styles walk out of his life two years ago.

That's How I Know by allwaswell16

Louis Tomlinson has just landed his dream job, coaching soccer at Augustus University. When he moves into a new house near campus, he meets his very fit new neighbor, English professor Harry Styles. Although their first meeting leads to an instant mutual dislike, the more Harry gets to know Louis, the more he likes what he sees.

Or the one where Harry’s African grey parrot spills his dirty secrets to his very hot neighbor.

I Still Find You Lovely by angelichl

Reason #37 - Because They Have Air-Conditioning and You Don't

The more he thinks about it, the more he can imagine himself in some bloke’s bed, sweat-free and soaking up the air-conditioning, maybe even curled up under the duvet because he's actually a little cold. The prospect of a reprieve from the heat is even more alluring than the prospect of getting laid. Which may or may not be saying a lot.

“That’s… actually not a bad idea…”

In which Harry goes to a bar in search of a bloke with an air-conditioned flat.

Use Your Words by zedi

based off this prompt: collage au where jock!harry always serenades flowercrown!louis with love songs in their music class. what nobody knows is that harry actually kinda means the words he sings.

But instead it's Louis as the jock and Harry as the flowerchild because I do what I want.

Scoring Position by juliusschmidt

Harry Styles hasn’t pitched a perfect game, but if he closes out this final inning, he’ll get the win and bring handsome soccer star Louis Tomlinson home.

[Or the one where they’re all athlete-type people (except Gucci model Zayn and overly-friendly sports journalist Niall) and long-fated lovers Harry and Louis finally get together after Liam plays in the Superbowl.]

One Taste And He Want It by lululawrence

Stan: Yeah, dude. Listen to Steve and Oli, as much as I hate to say it.

Perrie: Well I’m supportive. If you two actually got together, it would be super cute. Perrie: Jesy says she stans you and supports your marriage

Stan: Shut up, Perrie. He doesn’t need more fuel for this. Stan: For real, Louis, I don’t think it’s a good idea.

Louis: Too late. I’m captain, which means my vote counts more than yours, and my mind’s already made up. I’m gonna woo him and learn about his team and we’re gonna kick their asses.

Or the one where Harry and Louis are the captains of the two Frisbee Battles teams in the finals, and Louis has to find a way for his team to win. Seduction is, naturally, the only option.

It's halftime. Are you ready to go? by momentofclarity

Reason #12 - Because it's halftime.

Harry would like to think that he doesn’t know how he got himself into this. Only… he’d be lying. Because he knows exactly how he got himself into this. Oh man, does he know, and it’s all because of a certain Louis Tomlinson. Alternatively - football is gay and Harry is trying to cope.

Don't Bite Your Tongue by dinosaursmate

Reason # 19: celebrate major victory by favourite team or political candidate. - Louis looked down at Harry’s chest, and… shit. He was wearing a Manchester United shirt. “You were right.” Harry inhaled through his teeth. “Someone stole your seat. A horrid little Man U fan, at that.” “Are you seriously not getting up?” Louis laughed humourlessly. “You little shit.” “You didn’t call me and then you ask me for a favour? Please.” - City and United are competing for the Premiership but, for Louis and Harry, it's not just the title that hangs in the balance.

Read Between the Blurry Lines by QuickedWeen

Harry gave a shocked laugh, “Smooth, very smooth.” Louis shrugged unapologetically. “What can I say, you’re cute, and I’ve only got one stop left before you get off. I don’t exactly have time to beat around the bush.” Harry giggled again, and quickly handed his phone to Louis to get his number. Louis dialed his own number and handed the phone back to him as the train was pulling into Harry’s stop. Just before the doors opened, Harry turned around and smiled. “See you on Thursday, Louis.”

Harry and Louis meet at an event and hit it off, but Louis is hiding something important about his life.

The Balcony by maggieisalarrie (ls2k14)

Just as he’s about to fall back to sleep, a strange sound catches his attention. He quiets his breathing and focuses, trying to hear whatever it is more clearly. The same noise comes again and he starts to silently freak out because, obviously, the logical explanation is that there’s someone inside his apartment and is there to either rob him or murder him and he can’t quite say he’s okay with either of those scenarios.

There’s no indication of someone walking or shuffling or moving things around out there. His heart rate slows just a bit and then spikes again when a different sound comes from outside his balcony doors.

“What the fuck,” he whispers to himself.

My English Love Affair by isthatyoularry

The thing about sleeping with a member of a famous indie band is that the inevitability of having a song written about you is most likely a hundred percent. The second thing is that in the end, nobody's supposed to find out it's about you.

The one where Harry writes a song about his English love affair and Louis sleeps with someone in White Eskimo and all he gets is a stupid song written about him.

Can't Start A Fire Without A Spark by larrymylove

Louis Tomlinson is the pop sensation with his first new single out since taking a personal hiatus from the spotlight. Harry is a paparazzi hired to photograph him during promo. Louis hates paparazzi with a passion, but there’s just something about the pretty young pap with wide green eyes and chocolate curls that Louis can’t shake from his head.

can i be him? by amory

Louis is twenty years old and has been waiting for his soulmate and true love to come along since the day he was born. Harry is an eighteen year old youtuber who is skeptical of soulmates and the pressure of being the person someone else has been dreaming of their entire lives.

They meet at Playlist Live

Boy, you got me blinded by jbm_94_bcn

If Louis wasn’t completely sure that they were on May 22nd, he would’ve bet this was an April’s Fool joke. He couldn’t believe all these important people were seriously proposing he should appear on the cover of fucking Vogue magazine. He wasn’t alone, it seemed like Lottie was about to faint right next to him. He stared at each and every face in front of him, and they weren’t smiling, so this had to be a serious proposal. Actually, there was one face smiling - Harry’s. The fucker was smirking. Louis didn’t like him anymore.

Or the one where Louis finds himself modeling for Vogue Magazine next to hot top model Harry Styles and faking a relationship with him for the public, finding along the way more than a new way of life

Keep Yourself Warm by navigator

AU. Harry sleeps around.

as long as skies are blue by theboyfriendstagram

Summer Camp!AU. Louis has been a football instructor at Lake District Camp for three years when twenty-year old Harry Styles - the latest addition to the counseling team - stumbles not so gracefully into his life. It’s not that Harry is everything Louis can’t stand-except. He is. But that doesn’t stop him from walking in on the naked boy too many times for it to be a coincidence.

Never Be by cherrystreet

Monica: You've got to see her again. Ross: And why do you care so much? Monica: Because! You could get to live out my fantasy! Ross: You had fantasies about Emily? Monica: No! Y’know, the fantasy! Meet someone from a strange land, fall madly in love, and spend the rest of your lives together.

The one where Harry Styles moves to Connecticut from England for nine months as a part of a study abroad program, and he just so happens to move in with Louis Tomlinson and family.

Escapade by dolce_piccante

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He's rich. He's handsome. He's reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

As You Are by zarah5

AU. Five years after The X Factor launched his career as a radio host and songwriter, Louis Tomlinson returns as a judge. Falling for a contestant is the last thing he needs. It's also against his contract.

The only reason Harry auditions for The X Factor is because his best mate signed the two of them up as some kind of joke. Harry doesn't get the big deal—not until he's faced with this season's judges and realises that one of them used to be his desperate, impossible teenage crush.

You'll Breathe Me In (You Won't Release) by LoadedGunn

His first driving lesson with Louis takes place on a Saturday.

Harry stumbles out through the front gate in thrown-on baggy jeans and his ratty Ramones shirt, sees Louis leaning casually against the car, and his knees nearly give out. Apparently "not another surly teacher" meant a drop dead gorgeous twenty-something scruffy guy with shaggy brown hair and cheekbones sharp enough to chop a salad with. Clearly, Robin's trying to get Harry killed at seventeen.

Or, the AU where Louis is a 25-year-old driving instructor and Harry is a 17-year-old virgin who's really awful at seduction, except for the time he gets Louis to fall for him and fuck him senseless and take him on kinky adventures.

Up To No Good by whoknows

Harry doesn’t think of himself as a womanizer, not at all. Sure, he enjoys sex, enjoys how women feel underneath him, and by some people’s standards he has sex with quite a lot of people, but that’s no reason to tell him that he can’t have a female PA anymore.

It’s especially no excuse for giving him a male PA who’s possibly the most gorgeous boy in the world who won’t even let Harry look at him for too long.

Sometimes Harry hates his life.

like a bastard on the burning sea by vashtaneradas

au; harry breaks louis, louis breaks everything.

Here In The Afterglow by fondleeds

“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have many friends,” Louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing its way into his throat.

Harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes Louis’ stomach shake. “I’ll be your friend.”

-

1970’s AU. In a tiny town in Idaho, Louis’ life is changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

Too Much To Bare by soloistharold

"From where Harry was sitting, Louis’ face looked more angular, more mature. He found himself studying Louis’ features, from the way his hair fell against his forehead, to the prominence of his cheekbones, to the dip of his cupid’s bow, and finally, to the subtle curve of his small lips.

He stared and stared and stared, noticing how his eyes crinkled every time he laughed at one of Chandler’s stupid jokes, watching the way his mouth moved when he smiled, feeling a slight yearning in his chest for more contact. He wanted to reach forward, maybe tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear, press his lips against the warmth of Louis’ cheek… perhaps let them wander to the right a bit and capture Louis’ lips in a kiss.

He wondered what Louis would do if Harry kissed him. Would he get mad and push him away? Or would he welcome it? Maybe bring a hand up to cup Harry’s cheek and use the other to stroke his hair.”

OR

Harry has been in love with Louis for as long as he can remember despite his many efforts to move on, until finally, in a last ditch attempt to put it all behind him, Harry pushes away everyone he loves.

Bathroom Tricks by luminescence2

louis tomlinson doesn't do relationships. but he does do harry styles.

A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall by rosegoldhl (Rosegoldhl)

Like an automatic machine, Harry opened his marker and stood in front of the customer waiting to write the name and order. “Hi, welcome to the 78 Café, what would you like to order?”

“Free tea?”

Harry’s eyes snapped to the customer, the voice spreading warmth in his chest. He smiled at the blue-eyed man, who looked cozy in an oversized hoodie, sleepy eyes and tangled hair.

Louis is a homeless man and Harry is an uninspired writer, who gives him a home.

A Rock For Your Thoughts by caverlywrites

Harry is ready to start his new job as a full-time nanny. Everything that could go wrong, does.

something in the way you move makes me feel like i can’t live without you by justaboat

au. harry and louis are figure skating partners in the sochi 2014 winter olympics.

Lust for Life by larryent

AU. After Louis moves into a new flat, his fit next door neighbour who happens to be a baker brings him cupcakes to welcome him into the building.

Your Silhouette Over Me (orphan_account)

“Alright don’t forget the mission, get Louis laid,” Louis shouted over the music.

��Don’t know who Louis is, but I support it.”

Louis turned towards the contributing voice and saw the bartender leaning in front of him, his elbows resting against the lip of the bar. He had brown hair that fell in loose curls just above his collar bones which were perfectly on show due to the fact that his shirt was unbuttoned halfway down his abdomen. The shirt’s sleeves were cuffed up along his inked bicep and the pattern was something that Louis would expect a dad on vacation to wear, not a young bartender.

“He’s Louis,” Zayn said, jutting his thumb in Louis’ direction.

The bartender nodded approvingly, “then I definitely support it.”

~~~~~~

Or the one where Louis went out one night after work, wanting to get laid, and then ended up meeting a bartender named Harry Styles.

The Summertime, The Butterflies, All Belong To Your Creation by PumpkinspiceLou (CatyDreamDwyer)

When Louis decides to help out a lost little girl at the park, he never expected it would lead him to finding his home.

heroes of the orange skies by queenmcgonagall

Louis likes bathroom walls and Sharpies, Harry likes metal, Zayn likes Liam and Liam likes Zayn, Niall is wise, and they all go to the zoo.

Stargazer Louis by thecheshirepussycat

Louis has been deaf ever since a he was a little kid. Some of his only comforts now are the colors and fragrances of flowers. Harry could care less about flowers and prefers the beautiful melodies of his music. How could two people so different find love and maybe something else they didn't know they were missing in each other?

All The King's Men by sacredheart (orphan_account)

Louis is an arrogant, self assured prince who falls in love with a charming thief named Harry during his youth. However, years later, a revolution is sparked amongst the frustrated commoners... and Louis's former teenage romance is leading it.

another hazy may by deLILAh

louis is a terrible poet and harry lives in the now and they have six weeks to fall in love but, really, it only takes six seconds. bookshop meets military meets summer romance au ft. marlboros, the backstreet boys, and underrated literary devices.

hush. by Wankerville

“I don't like you like that, Harry.”

“See,” Harry starts, Louis can hear the smile in his voice, “that's where I think you're lying.”

or an au where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect.

As Cold as a Whisper by panda_bear21

Harry did not turn around to face Louis yet and Louis’ body screamed at him to take the opportunity and run. Run until he couldn’t anymore, until his lungs collapsed out of breath and he was either safe and away or caught back in Harry’s gaze. Harry turned then, and his eyes were darker than the heavens and just as green as the haunting woods surrounding them, entrapping Louis. Focused, and clear. Louis' heart rattled in his ribcage, shaking, wanting to escape his unmoving body. Harry walked closer and Louis’ eyes stayed on him, breath leaving in a sharp exhale when Harry bent down to touch his face.

A fairy tale au where people in Louis' village are disappearing and Louis is married off to uphold a centuries long agreement.

Love's Truest Language by summerwine

The first part was meant as a joke. He didn't really expect Harry to buy anything. It was just Louis’ way of softening the ‘get the fuck out’ blow.

“Where's your order forms, then?”

“I don't want your flowers.” Louis chided before directing all of his attention to the arrangement in front of him.

Harry laughed under his breath as he stood to his full height, “Who said anything about them being for you, love?”

No One Does It Better by nodibs

Harry's an alcoholic and Louis is a bartender. The first time they meet isn't the first time they've met.

finding you was so hard (but loving you is easy) by togetherwecouldbealright

An incredibly shameless vampire!AU filled with stupid jokes, endless dates, flappy bird, a bro man dude pal sleepover thing and there also might be some sex in strange places.

Also known as the one where everyone is a vampire, Louis is oblivious and somewhere along the way it becomes a bit too much like Twilight.

Then a string of thoughts make themselves clear in Louis’ head. First, Harry is a vampire. Second, Louis is a dumbass. Third, Louis is also unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. Fourth, he’s pretty sure he just quoted the back of the Twilight book.

Only You by mystic_believexx

A strict school, a forbidden love and a burning hatred that turns to passion so hot Louis' in very real danger of getting burnt…

After pulling one prank too many on their high school's Principal, Louis and Liam get transferred to Stanford Institution, a boarding school with a reputation for handling rebellious teens. Louis' determined to buckle down and follow the rules so he can come back home as soon as possible but unfortunately for him, his roommate-one Harry Styles- has other plans.

Sometimes things have a funny way of working out...

Off The Record by Tomlinsontoes

Louis is an out of control teen heartthrob, Harry is hired to get him back on track and they both hate each other while they secretly don't.

“I'm not your personal assistant you know,” Harry says once he gets there and Louis lets him in and he shoves the bag into his hands. “I'm your publicist.”

“I know that,” Louis smiles a devilish grin patting Harry in the middle of his chest as he takes the bag, “but look at you personally assisting me,” he says looking in the bag and pulling out the Cheetos. I also know that my PA turns his phone on silent at night, and clearly, you don't. Waiting for a booty call or something?” Louis says turning on his heels and scurrying over to his sofa and plopping down. Harry swears he sees a puff of orange dust soar into the air when Louis opens the bag. He's amazed that couch is as clean as it looks.

Soft Hands, Fast Feet, Can't Lose by dolce_piccante

American Uni AU. Harry Styles is a frat boy football star from the wealthy Styles Family athletic dynasty. A celebrity among football fans, he knows how to play, he knows how to party, and he knows how to fuck (all of which is well known among his legion of admirers).

Louis Tomlinson is a student and an athlete, but his similarities to Harry end there. Intelligent, focused, independent, and completely uninterested in Harry’s charms, Louis is an anomaly in a world ruled by football.

A bet about the pair, who might be more similar than they originally thought, brings them together. Shakespeare, ballet, Disney, football, library chats, running, accidental spooning, Daredevil and Domino’s Pizza all blend into one big friendship Frappucino, but who will win in the end?

Baby Heaven's in your Eyes by theboyfriendstagram

They couldn’t be more different if they tried. Louis Tomlinson is 17 years old and in his last year of the most prestigious private school in Doncaster. Everyone who attends his school knows him thanks to his incredibly rich family, sassy attitude and gorgeous girlfriend, Eleanor Calder. If there’s one thing that completely annoys him, it’s that there is a poor community college right across the street.

Harry Styles is 19 years old, and (once again) in his last year of college. He goes to community college in Doncaster. He never shows up to classes and if he actually bothers to, he’s either high or drunk; sometimes both. His skin is littered with tattoos and if there’s one thing he absolutely hates, it’s the snobby students attending the private school right across from his.

Or a sixth form!AU where Harry is the fucked up bad boy with too many problems, Louis is the perfect rich boy with too much money and their schools are right across from each other. They meet at a party and that’s the last (and maybe the only) thing they need.

Trailer here

Mute by TroubledPro

How is love supposed to speak, when one can’t even choke out the words? Louis’ life was a joke through his witty words. Harry’s life was a joke through his lack of words. Louis was classed as a normal child; mentally and physically. Harry was classed as an abnormal child; mentally and physically. Louis could speak. Harry could not. Harry had progressive mutism. Louis did not.

Love Is A Rebellious Bird by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

Flour and Chocolate by teaandtumblr

It was nice, for a bakery he supposed.

Then he approached the display cabinet.

And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN.

What. The. Fuck?

Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.

OR

Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street.

the wonderlands by stylinsoncity

"Somewhere between chaos and control — these are the wonderlands."

Harry's daughter, Andy, is signed to Louis' girl band. Her path to success is marked by competition, chaos, and for Harry, a love affair.

Take My Breath Away by RealityBetterThanFiction

There is a prestigious school in the British Royal Navy classified as Premier Delta - or as it is known by its flyers, 1D. These select pilots are an elite set of Naval lieutenants who are trained in the skill of aggressive aerial combat. They are instruments of war, trained in times of peace. They are dogfighters, relentless and fearless in their mission to protect their beloved country. From their lofty vantage, they are always watching, waiting, and ready to lay it all on the line.

Lt. Harry Styles, call sign Sparrow, is a prodigy when it comes to flying. The owner of an unrivaled Naval pedigree, being a pilot was always written in the stars for Harry. With his trusty RIO, Lt. Niall Horan, Harry has made an unprecedented ascension in the ranks of the Naval aerial combat elite, and has been recruited to the esteemed Premier Delta flight school, carrying on his family’s legacy. What he finds there are unexpected friendships, perilous challenges, and something beyond what he ever thought possible. Because as his father had always told him, before the great Captain Styles went tragically missing in combat, you don’t fall in love with the sky, you fall in love with what keeps you on the ground.

Shake Me Down by AGreatPerhaps12

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

Young & Beautiful by Velvetoscar

Louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name Zayn Malik means something, Niall Horan doesn't stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and Harry Styles, only son of a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes.

Time Bomb by ThisSentimentalHeart

“Why exactly are you here?” Louis asked, feigning annoyance and failing pathetically at it. “My publicist told me I can't go anywhere near you.” Harry said, eyes still smudged with last night's eye liner. “That makes you my favorite person in the world.”

Or the one where Louis has everything: a lead role in a giant Hollywood franchise, a glittering new house with an entertaining Irish neighbor, and a steady, normal boyfriend who he probably loves. Louis never expected to become a household name among young Hollywood overnight. He also never expected to find something endearing about the enigmatic rockstar who keeps showing up on his back porch.

Hide your Face (So the World Will Never Find You) by neozeka

Louis is a master thief, and one of the most wanted criminals in the kingdom. When he hears that Prince Harry is holding a public masquerade ball to find a potential queen, Louis can’t pass up the opportunity to go after the crown jewels.

Or the one in which Harry is a prince, Louis is definitely not Cinderella, there is still a ball, and the magic doesn’t end at midnight.

in the middle of the night by hazkaban

louis takes a stray dog in for the night and ends up with more than he bargained for.

We Never Said Our Love Was Evergreen by PumpkinspiceLou (CatyDreamDwyer)

Harry takes his position at the top of the grand staircase, eyes washing over the crowd. It’s a sea of formality, ornate fish following the waves the music dictates, the current of Victorian tradition. Harry begins to wonder if perhaps that is his problem. Being stuck in an endless circle is why what he yearns for most in this world is still so cruelly out of his reach. Before the thought can grow and wreak havoc though, something catches Harry’s eye in the middle of the ballroom.

OR A Victorian Masquerade Ball AU where Harry is basically the Phantom of the Opera

This Must Be My Dream by nothing_but

When he got closer, Harry could see that the person on the side of the road was a young man who was holding a piece of cardboard. London was scribbled onto it in big letters so passing drivers leaving the motorway station could easily read it.

OR Louis is hitchhiking and Harry takes him in. And well, who knew that there would be so many things to be discovered apart from towns and roads and motels?

Rhonda by aclosetlarryshipper

“Would it be weird of me to say I’m almost, like… nervous?”

Louis shakes his head, giggling as their noses press together in an Eskimo kiss. “Would it be weird of me to say I’m glad? Because I am too. A little.”

Louis can feel Harry exhale. “If you’re nervous, it means you really like the person, right? That’s what I’ve heard.”

“That sounds right,” Louis says, and then he leans in.

or

The High School AU that was inspired by Home.

Green Eyes, Empty Canvas by SexyAsswoMan

His eyes were a weird shade of green. A shade that reminded you of a forest. a forest washed up in rain, glistening in the golden sun. Bright yet soft at the same time. And Louis wanted to get lost in them. Wanted to take it all out and splatter it on a canvas. Wanted to know every stroke of the man that stood in front of him. Too bad he was shit at forming words.

or where,

Louis Tomlinson liked to paint and suddenly, all he could ever paint was Harry Styles.

Amid the Falling Snow by noellehenry

Harry is going to spend Christmas with his sister Gemma while their parents enjoy a vacation on Aruba. However, she has a few surprises for him.

Harry can deal with the Irish boyfriend and a birthday party; it's the birthday boy he's not prepared for. The boy he once had a massive crush on, the boy who had hurt him, the boy he wanted to forget.

Why is he still attracted to him?

Featuring lots of snow, books and a cosy cottage in an idyllic village

A Whole New World by backonefish

He squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head, imagining the notes he heard earlier are from a residual dream. He opens his eyes, and, nope. The music is still there. Notes of a song he could never forget clear as the confusion in his head. That is to say, they’re really not very clear. The more he strains to comprehend what the fuck is actually going on, the more he understands. Understands that what he’s hearing is piano keys, not a record of a song. Understands that whoever is playing the piano is really not very good at it, hesitance heard before each press of the key. Understands that his fucking neighbour is waking him up at – he fumbles with his phone on his bedside - 7:30 in the morning by playing Aladdin songs on a piano. Badly.

Or- Louis has moved into his new apartment to start his new job as a teacher. Things would be great. If only his arsehole neighbour didn't wake him up every morning by playing piano. Shenanigans ensue. Like a very inadvisable kissing bet.

Ride 'Em Cowboy by larry_love13

A Harry Stripper AU.

i just know i have found the place my heart belongs by scagnetism

“Gracie loves faeries, don’t you, little love?” Louis asks, cutting through Harry’s thoughts, and she spares a glance over her shoulder at her father, nodding quickly before looking back at the house and touching it with gentle fingers.

Harry looks up at him, and they share a small smile, Louis making him feel warm, warm, warm. “This is her house, and it’s my favorite thing in my shop,” Harry explains, and Louis crouches slightly so he can see it better.

“’S beautiful,” he murmurs, and Harry smiles appreciatively at him.

Harry looks at Gracie again, blonde hair falling into her face as she inspects the glittery house, and he instinctively tucks her hair back behind her ear. “I’ve never seen the faerie,” he says to her softly, “but sometimes, when it’s very quiet, I can feel her.” He closes his eyes, taking in a breath, just sitting like that for a few seconds for the effect. “That’s how I know she’s watching over me.”

Or, the one where Louis has a quiet little girl, Harry has a toy shop with a magic faerie house, and they were made to fall in love.

Just Tell Me the Song and I'll Sing It by myownspark

Louis is an architecture student who can only think about the future. Harry is a baseball player who can only think about right now. Both are lonely for different reasons. Boybands bring them together.

Or, this may just be a long love letter to Louis’ voice, I’m not sure.

Based on the following prompt: Harry and Louis are university students who go to the same bar on the weekends. The bar has karaoke and Louis likes to sing Disney/Musical/Boyband songs sometimes. Harry thinks he's cute so he starts singing Disney/Musical/Boyband songs and flirting with him while he's on stage.

The Fox You've Been Waiting For by FeelsForBreakfast

Louis isn't in love with Harry, but it’s something like that. A story where Louis is a contradiction and Harry thinks he’s the greatest.

"He wants to be loved and he wants to be the best but he wants it whispered to him, so quietly he almost can’t hear it, on Harry’s lips that sting like nettles. Harry’s golden in the sun and ivory in the moonlight and Louis wants to be in his orbit. He wants them to be kings."

Even Angels Have Their Demons by AFangirlFantasy

Louis is appointed the role of Guardian Angel, and his first mission is a boy named Zayn Malik. Unfortunately, it seems that a certain Demon has gotten to him first.

Or... an Angel/Demon AU where Angel Louis hates Demon Harry, but somewhere along the way that stops being so true.

Little Technicolor Things by tekhnicolor

Louis is a poor writer and recent university graduate, depressed, anxious, and living in London when he meets Harry, an artist with a secret who likes to paint sunrises and pretty boys from California.

more than just a dream by spit_on_me_larry

Louis Tomlinson loves his life, he really does. It's just that he's constantly on the verge of everything completely going to shit. He's disorganized and clumsy and hotheaded and just a little bit ridiculous.

And then he meets Harry Styles. Harry is the type of person Louis hates. It seems like everything comes easily to him. He's rich and brilliant and everyone loves him and he has his life impossibly and perfectly together.

Louis detests Harry Styles. Except for the inconvenient fact that he can't seem to get Harry out of his head.

Send My Love by FallingLikeThis, Rearviewdreamer

Louis Tomlinson is fed up with dating losers. Harry Styles is tired of leaving his love life up to fate. Maybe one last try is just what they need to get it right.

Or, when online dating actually works.

Given a Chance by Fabby

Five years after One Direction took their last tour, the last thing Louis Tomlinson ever expected to happen while on a tea run at the local Piggly Wiggly was to run into his ex-boyfriend and ex-bandmate Harry Styles.

The odds of them ever running into each other again had to be super slim, right?

Wrong.

What happens when you mix ex-boyfriends with a large serving of Small Town America? Will Louis and Harry be able to set aside their differences, or will Louis be able to stay breezy as fuck in the wake of Harry’s arrival?

(or, the one where Louis and Harry run into each other five years after One Direction ends and learn how to love each other again. Featuring: Reggie as the overweight labrador, Niall as Louis’ last grip on reality, and Nowheresville, North Carolina as the setting for Louis’ worst nightmare to come true.)

The Brightest Lights by Rearviewdreamer

After watching yet another actor walk away with his Oscar, Louis is on the lookout for the role of a lifetime that might finally get him the one thing he has always wanted. He didn't think coming out of his self-proclaimed break to do another film would be all that difficult, but that was before he met his new co-star.

If Tomorrow Never Comes (We Had Last Night) by FallingLikeThis, Rearviewdreamer

Louis accepts the call without bothering to look at the caller ID. Only Zayn would be a big enough asshole to call him at two in the morning. This fucking better be important. “This fucking better be important,” Louis greets.

On the other end of the line comes a soft giggle. “Li, you don’t usually curse. I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I like it.”

Yeah, that’s not Zayn. Louis sighs, his anger melting into resignation when he realizes that it’s some poor bastard probably drunk dialing his ex or something. “Sorry, mate. Think you’ve got the wrong number.”

Based on this Tumblr prompt: "Accidentally called your number while drunk asking for a ride and you actually came au"

Monday Meetings by kikikryslee

American AU where the boys all work for their college newspaper. Louis gets to voice his opinion in every issue, Liam is in charge, keeping everyone in line, Niall just really loves soccer, Zayn is an aspiring photographer and Harry is the incoming photo editor.

(Or, the one where Louis wants to date Harry, but won't, because they work together, even though the other boys follow no such rule.)

--- Louis turned and looked Harry in the eye. "I told Niall that even though he wanted to date Josh, his co-worker, it just wasn't going to work out. And that was OK, because there's plenty of other people out there for him." Please take the hint. Please. It looked like Harry did, because he simply nodded before breaking the gaze.

For the Sake of Propriety by panda_bear21

Louis Tomlinson is the caretaker of an estate that is not truly his, and when his Uncle calls upon him to take it back, Louis knows he will soon be out on the streets with four overly zealous sisters to care for. His only solution: wed the eldest two off and pray for the best. When an even better solution unexpectedly presents itself in the form of the charming Mr. Styles, Louis is faced with a difficult choice. But as with all things in the regency era, reputation very well may threaten to outweigh the fleeting matters of his heart.

once upon a dream by thedeathchamber

Louis is psychic and gets caught in the middle of a murder investigation led by FBI Special Agent Harry Styles.

aka. the Medium/Criminal Minds-inspired AU no one ever asked for.

Forever Home by thedeathchamber

Louis heard humming, soft and melodious, and the scribble of a pen on paper, before he blinked into awareness, his vision focusing gradually to make out the person standing at the foot of his bed. It was a young male nurse, dressed in light blue scrubs. The morning autumn sunlight streaming in through the window lit up the hair that escaped from his bun like a halo. “Hi,” Louis croaked. The nurse’s head whipped up from his notes. “Oh, you’re awake—” When he looked at Louis his voice broke off and his face went slack. “You’re awake,” he repeated.

Hate Me To The Moon by harrystylesandstuff

The last thing Harry wanted was to spend his entire summer stuck with his dad's new fiancée and her kids. He wants no more when he learns she's a very religious dictator, raising a sixteen year old nun and a clean cut potential priest ass kisser.

Everything takes a slightly different turn, however, when Harry finds out his future step-brother is actually the rude stranger he caught sucking off a guy in a pub, far from the reserved Christian his mom thinks he is...

AU where Harry is a sexy nerd, Louis is a great actor, and they both pretend to hate each other's guts to convince themselves they're not feeling things future step-brothers shouldn't feel...

Purer Than The Water (like we were) by FeelsForBreakfast

Louis is a merman and Harry is a boy. The lake is a good place to fall in love.

"Louis wants the boy to wade deeper, deep enough that Louis can go under and wrap his fingers around his ankles for just a moment. Pull him under. Just touch skin, for a second."

every time i run, i keep on falling on you by hazmesentir

Shameless fluffy Christmas fic.

AU. After being best friends for 8 years, Harry moves to LA. It takes the keen observations of all of Louis' friends to realise the one thing he really wants for Christmas is Harry.

Today and Every Day by LittleLostPieces

Five times Harry proposed, and one time Louis definitively said yes.

you and me were kings by ithacas

harry plays football in a small town in west texas. louis might be the only person that doesn’t give a damn. au.

Reeling Through The Fall by zarah5

AU. They hate each other. Except for when they don’t.

This Shifting Ground by zarah5

University AU. In which Louis, law student, is the cheeky waiter to Harry’s dates. This is how it starts.

These Roads We Stumble Down by onewasturning

He’s completely drenched, not one millimetre of him not covered in rain, and the old sheepskin cover over the seat is probably going to stink afterwards from the damp. But even with what seems to be a constant tremor shaking his body, brown hair plastered to his forehead, and a blue tinge to his skin, he’s still probably the most gorgeous person that Harry has ever seen.

Or, Harry picks up a hitchhiker in Oxford, and it's a long ride to Glasgow.

Red Brick Heart by hazmesentir

Harry has only had his room for thirty-two minutes when it stops being his.

Uni AU. Harry had turned up at the halls of residence expecting fun, new friends, and maybe a life experience or two. What he doesn't expect is a surprise roommate who's loud and dramatic and obsessed with tea and is maybe, actually, all he's ever wanted.

we're falling skyward by brownheadedstranger

AU. Louis fires people for a living and meets up with Harry in big cities.

(Take You Back Where You Belong) This Could be Our Favorite Song (orphan_account)

When recently divorced, thirty-five year-old, overworked tax accountant Louis Tomlinson gets sent on a two-week vacation to Aruba by his best friend, he automatically assumes it's going to be two weeks of panicking about all of the work he's missing and staying holed up in his room. But then, right on his first night in Aruba, he meets Harry Styles, the cheeky, crass, and charming waiter and up-and-coming musician. Who happens to only be eighteen years old.

Nonetheless, a whirlwind romance kicks up between Louis and Harry, and Louis finds himself falling for the boy in a way he hadn't thought he could fall again after his divorce. But as Louis' two weeks in Aruba come to a close and Harry finds himself standing on the cusp of the fame he's always craved, Louis has to make the decision of whether or not he's going to stay with Harry, or leave him behind in Aruba, and it turns out to be the toughest decision Louis ever has to make.

Counting The Steps Between Us by zarah5

AU. So, yeah. That year abroad helped Harry establish that he is in love with his best friend. Now, if Louis would stop treating him like a little brother, that would be awesome. (Additional ingredients: a collapsing tree house, a lot of pining, the other three boys as Louis' new best mates from university, and a camping trip. Serve hot.)

love me in between the future and the past by navigator, quitter

Set during the 2013 VMAs.

Harry's scared of history repeating itself.

Now I Got You In My Space (I Won't Let Go of You) by three_miles

Louis and Harry used to fool around, until they just... stopped. Until today, when Louis gets a signal from Harry that he hasn't seen in a long time.

Relief Next To Me by dolce_piccante

AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

oh your touch, so bittersweet by soleilouis

louis meets harry in a tattoo shop.

twisting the kaleidoscope behind both of my eyes by hazandboo_write

harry's cute and curly and blind, louis's not, they meet at a wedding, and then out for yogurt.

We Will Find Our Way by supernope

Harry smiles at Louis, quick and easy, and says, “Well, since we’re in the same boat, we’ll just make our own Christmas. What do you say?” Louis tamps down on a bloom of warmth in his belly. He barely knows Harry past seeing him walk down the hall in just his skivvies - not that he’s complaining - but he’s being so lovely, smiling at him so hopefully, and, well. Louis doesn’t much fancy the idea of spending Christmas completely alone. Nodding, he reaches out and pokes Harry’s dimple, watches it flirt to life underneath his fingertip. “I say yes.”

AKA, Harry and Louis are uni students studying abroad in New York, stuck in the dorms together over Christmas.

Spin Me Like A Record by zarah5

Uni AU. Sometimes, Louis poses as Harry’s boyfriend. It doesn’t mean anything. Really.

Speaking of Marvels by navigator, quitter

AU. Louis is a nanny in suburban New Jersey, and the neighbors' son is home from college for the summer. It was supposed to be a fling.

we are the greatest pretenders by chillpills

“You do matter,” he says, roughly. “You matter so much, and you’re not just a computer, because you’re Hazza, and you’re mine, and it doesn’t matter what they say because I think you’re the best person I’ve ever known and I’d be honored to serve with you and - ” Harry tosses the memory drive aside and then throws his arms around Louis and drags him down on top of him, burying his face in Louis’ neck. Louis can feel Harry’s forehead against his false pulse, and hear the quiet sobbing noises he’s making under his ear.

or: Louis and Harry are androids, Nick developed them with independent emotions, and they get much more than they bargained for with them.

Thought The Song Was Sung by 100percentsassy

Louis never auditioned for the X-Factor. Years later, Harry's just another gay ex-boybander who lives alone with his cat... until Niall decides to take matters into his own hands and set up a profile for Harry on a dating website.

harder to hide than i thought by dangerbears

ridiculous self-indulgent high school au. louis's best friend's little brother suddenly got very attractive.

Waited My Whole Life for This One Night by LittleLostPieces

It's been said that patience is a virtue. Harry is sure that the person who came up with that cliche never spent eighteen hours waiting for the birth of their first child.

Exhale the Dust by flutterbutt

Louis is a disgraced former pop star who needs help writing a single. (a Music and Lyrics AU)

A week later, the note from Breakfast Harry is still buried in Louis' kitchen drawer under forks and spoons and spatulas, all but forgotten. Louis is in bed (because it is only 11 o'clock, after all) when he gets another call from Herb. It's probably about opening for fucking Blue again. He'll probably say yes this time. He hates turning Herb down, especially since he knows that Herb most likely begged Blue's people to consider Louis in the first place.

we are honey and the bee by soleilouis

It isn’t his fault though, it is entirely the fault of whichever gods thought it would be a good idea to taunt Louis by dangling a curly haired boy in front of him with a mouth that can’t possibly be as soft as it looks, a mouth that requires further inspection with Louis’ own mouth. Unfortunately, Louis absolutely cannot do that, because it would go against all rules and guidelines in the Golden Handbook of Nanny and Employee Etiquette that he’s pretty sure exists.

au where harry plays rugby at uni, louis needs to hire a nanny, and life is one big cliche.

we were just like glue by togetherwecouldbealright

Louis works in a library where his own books sit on the shelves. Also, there may or may not be a Harry Styles involved and he may or may not be Louis' muse. Not that Louis is admitting to anything.

me and you and you and me (orphan_account)

On the occasion of Harry's 20th birthday, aka pretty much total FWP (fluff without plot).

It's All Brand New Because of You by supernope

It’s nearing six o’clock in the evening, and despite the fact that it’s summer, the aquarium has emptied out considerably and it’s quiet as Louis wanders the exhibits. A few people try to ask him questions as he wanders, but Louis knows less about the creatures in the tanks than they do, so he keeps having to apologize and explain that he’s just a counselor, not a biologist.

AKA, Louis starts a new job as a summer camp counselor at the local aquarium and Harry is a biologist who really likes teaching people about the ocean.

hold a hand for cover by vashtaneradas

they’ve still got all the money in the world, all the big nights and bigger houses, all the people at their doors with singles and album deals and promises of more, they still have all of that, and they will forever. the only thing they’ve burnt through is each other.

or, two years after the band, harry and louis bump into each other for the first time.

Under The Same Sun by FeelsForBreakfast

Louis and Harry live 400 miles away from each other. Sometimes it’s hard. (internet boyfriends, indie bands, and happy endings)

“I already miss you. I miss you all the damn time.” Louis says, because it’s late enough for honesty.

not fortune's fool by eleadore

The one where Louis goes to sleep in his X-Factor bunk and wakes up years in the future to discover things have... changed.

if you're for real and not pretend by brownheadedstranger

In which Harry works in a bakery and Louis can't seem to find what he's looking for.

Celebrity Discount by LoadedGunn

Louis fell for Prince Harry when he was ten and Harry was eight and peeked behind the Queen’s elegant gown for his first public appearance—a shy smile and a mess of curls. He fell for him when he caught Lottie putting up a magazine cover of Harry on her wall and all she had to say for herself was, “He’s such a good person, yeah?” and, yeah. He fell for him when Harry gracefully accepted his demotion. He fell for him when Harry came out and stayed out.

Truly, Madly, Deeply (10 Things I Hate About You) by sunsetmog

The first Louis had heard of Harry auditioning for X Factor was the night he'd turned up on Louis' doorstep the day before leaving for Boot Camp, with a DVD and an illicit bottle of vodka.

Thing was, Louis hated secrets, and he really hated being made a fool of, and he really, really hated Harry Styles.

or: the one in which they're all in sixth form together, and Harry auditions for X Factor without them.

Let the Words Fall Out by pertunes

It’s not a thing, he decides. It’s not going to be a thing, because his ears have been ringing for months and so what if some days he feels like he’s straining to hear what even Niall’s jabbering on about.

hold onto your stars by vashtaneradas

au; harry's in the army, louis' back home, and ninety days is a lifetime.

sugar never tasted so good by vashtaneradas

louis sells rock candy and harry sells flowers and london is cold; aka a dumb valentine’s au.

Always There by tothemoonmydear

Louis Tomlinson, of One Direction, has been almost completely blind since birth, the exception being he can see blotches of shadows and shapes; just enough to keep himself standing upright. He’s supposed to be doing an interview about being blind in a world wide famous boyband, instead his answers once again drift off to Harry Styles..

based off of this meme: http://icantlouis.tumblr.com/post/43865524622/au-meme-louis-tomlinson-of-one-direction-has

place your hands on my face, close my eyes by empress

Louis met Harry on the fifteenth of August. He would never forget that day.

Or, Louis is the star footballer of Manchester United, and Harry a member of the rising pop sensation, One Direction. They shouldn't work, but they do, anyway (based on this AU post on tumblr).

Keep Me In Your Pocket by ologist

Louis has been living in a teapot since he was miniaturised by a witch, but Harry is determined to break the curse.

To Build A Home (orphan_account)

A story about a broken boy and the boy who falls in love with him.

Call Me Baby by mediwitch3

Louis moves to Holmes-Chapel after his parents die in a car crash. He has custody of his five sisters, and it is through the youngest he meets Harry Styles, a preschool teacher. Life just got a lot more complicated for Louis.

All the Corners of the World by robpatFF

Written in response to these tags on Tumblr though I'd recommend not reading those first unless you want to be spoiled. Alternatively, university!AU in which Harry runs away to New York City with only his camera and a playlist and Louis doesn't have a good side.

just a memory (and all that we could've been) by trustingno1

"I think - there's something wrong. With Harry's memory," Louis says, and someone mutes the TV.

(or: Harry wakes up in a reality in which he and Louis are very much together. Which is pretty awesome. Or - it would be. If Harry could remember any of it).

once like a spark by flimsy

Louis is a bartender, and Harry is just his type.

"Can I get you anything else?" Louis asks and shimmies his hips along to the beat of the music. Zayn is giving him a look from the other end of the bar, frowning slightly at the line of people waiting to get a drink. Louis rolls his eyes and shrugs and turns his attention back to the boy, who ruffles his fringe and gives Louis a little lopsided grin.

Smaller Than Me by checkthemargins

Harry's just finished his first year of uni on his way to becoming Dr. Harry Styles, Neurosurgeon. He's young, he has endless potential, three amazing best mates, a new love and the world at his fingertips. The fact that his new boyfriend may or may not be a sex-worker, of course, throws a wrench into the works. But it's not true. Really.

Probably.

It most definitely might not be entirely true. And that's all Harry needs to know.

If You Build Yourself a Myth by pukeandcry

Harry is six the first time he makes something change. (magical realism AU)

How Would You Feel (If I Told You I Loved You) by Only_angel_28

An AU inspired by the music video for Ed Sheeran's song Perfect featuring two idiots who are too thick to see that their friendship is anything but platonic, lots of pining, too many terms of endearment to count, a wedding, slow dancing, a couple of steamy hot tub moments, karaoke, snow, a healthy dose of cuddling, love confessions, and Harry and Louis being quite generous to each other.

*Or the one where Harry has been in love with his best friend for four years, and New Year's Eve at his family's holiday home in Switzerland is perfect for finally telling Louis how he feels.

Boy Interrupted by MrsStylinson

Five times that Harry walks in on Louis by accident and the one time he walks in on purpose.

Or, the one where they can only resist each other for so long, featuring some epic sexual tension, a heavy dose of pining, a hint of angst and a fluffy ending.

reminiscing the other day by tilthesundies

“Spain,” Harry says. “This weekend.”

Louis blinks. “Are you asking me, or telling me?”

“Asking,” he says with a huff.

Harry's invited to a wedding, and there's only so much Louis can hide.

Take Care of Me by louissketios

Louis is the fan that asks Harry to find him a date at his concert and Harry offers to take Louis out on a date instead.

Promise Not to Fall by dimpled_halo

Louis raises his eyebrows. “You want to be friends with benefits?”

Harry shrugs, “If that’s what you want to call it then, yeah. Why not?”

Louis brings his hand to rub the stubble on his jaw, seeming lost in his own thoughts. “Okay, I’ll agree on three conditions.”

“One: no sleep overs.”

Harry nods, “Okay."

“Two: if either of us finds someone else we call it off no questions asked.”

Harry isn’t sure why his stomach turns at that, but he agrees anyway.

“And three,” Louis’ face hardens, “you cannot, under any circumstances, fall in love with me.”

Harry snorts, “Yeah, okay,” he chuckles lightly.

or- When One Direction goes on hiatus, Harry and Louis reconnect, becoming the friends they once were during their days in the X Factor. It doesn’t take long for their friendship to evolve into friends with benefits, unable to resist the physical attraction between them. Things get complicated when feelings get in the way.

Oh, We're In Love, Aren't We? by Rearviewdreamer

After sixteen wonderful years of friendship, it's hard to imagine any grand (and usually dumb) plans they haven't had or some type of mischief they haven't gotten into together. But, when Harry suddenly finds himself without a fiance and Louis just wants to help him feel okay again, they realize falling in love is one thing they haven't done, and that's about to change.

Big Dicked Bottoms Make the Rockin’ World Go Round by YesIsAWorld

Harry was tired of the assumptions made about his sexual preferences and he wasn't afraid to (drunkenly) post on Tumblr about it. The last thing he expected was to find his perfect partner.

Seven Minutes in Heaven by Canadianlarrie (canadianlarrie)

It’s musty, it's confined and its where lost musical instruments go to die. It also happens to be where Harry and Louis are currently standing after being forced into the alcove under the basement stairs at Niall’s house for Seven Minutes in Heaven.

First kisses rarely happen as imagined – they’re awkward, ill-timed and sloppy af.

The one where Harry and Louis kiss and the whole thing’s kind of a hot glorious mess.

Surrender My Everything by crimsontheory

After his flight was delayed, Harry showed up stressed out, exhausted, and four hours late for his date with Louis.

Waiting For Someone Who Needs Me by graceling_in_a_suit

Harry huffed in frustration. His feet pigeon-toed as he took a step forward. “None?” he asked with a hint of desperation. “You have nothing that you need?” Louis shook his head. “Listen. I’ve a million things that I want, like for the Donny Rovers to get to finals and for our band to do well and to write better songs and for my mum to be able to pay off her mortgage, but I don’t need any of those things. There’s a difference.”

AU: Harry is a genie, and Louis doesn't think he needs anything.

You Wear White (I'll Wear Out The Words) by rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife)

“You’re drunk Harry. And you can’t possibly get married by the end of this week.” “Why not?” Harry asked, stubbornly jutting his chin up. “I’m a great person.” “Because you’re single, Harry, that's why,” Niall remarked as he plopped down on the opposite side of the booth.

Harry is desperate to get married before the end of the week. In walks Louis.

Bad Girl Riri by 13ways

Harry and Louis have a cat named Rihanna. She has opinions.

Do I need to worry? by enigma_scars

Louis needs to blow bubbles to get rid of his smoking addiction. Harry finds Louis cute and strikes a conversation head on. Louis finds Harry creepy and dangerous.

One Mississippi by AlwaysAqua

“What are you even doing here, Louis?” Harry asked faintly through the door.

“Trust me, if I had anywhere else to go,” Louis paused and reflected on the absolute shit show his week had thrown at him. He sighed, “If I had anywhere else to go, I wouldn’t be here. I promise you that. You know you’re the last person I would ask to help me.”

Or, Louis and Harry broke up two years ago and now Louis has nowhere else to go and Harry reluctantly lets him back in.

The Depth and the Breadth and the Height by phdmama

"What do you need?"

Over the course of a life together, the answer to that question changes.

truth, justice, and the gay way by hattalove

Liam needs a costume. Louis needs a best best friend award, a holiday, and to get a grip.

(Harry's just in the right place at the right time.)

Needing is One Thing, and Getting—Getting’s Another by kiwikero

Six months and moving back home is what it takes for Louis to finally start getting over his divorce.

Backstage, Sex and Outrage by taggiecb

Prompt #20: your chance to do it in a specific location

Louis loves working towards a goal. His friends say having a goal in life is the only thing that keeps him sane some days. Right now he is working towards his before twenty five bucket list, and fate must have been smiling on him the day he won tickets for a show at Wembly, getting into one of the locker rooms is something he will have to think about later. Plus it doesn't hurt that the show he's seeing is his favourite celebrity crush Harry Styles.

I’d Like To Buy an ‘O’ by FallingLikeThis

When Louis fails at Wheel of Fortune but, by some miracle, not his love life.

If Only You (Knew) by LadyLondonderry

Catch a busy train at a busy time. Find a seat and look like you’ve been there a while. Feign sleep. Look like you belong there. Look like you haven’t been living out of a rucksack for four months.

Don’t look homeless.

When Louis needs somewhere to go, he finds himself in an abandoned barn in the middle of nowhere. Unknown to him, he's stumbled on the home of someone else, and they're not too happy about it.

Coming and Going (Anonymous)

Harry is a shy loner looking for someone who will help him discover his new found sexual fantasies. Louis is a lonely writer who doesn't realize how much he has secluded himself. They are brought together by a simple ad, and a common interest.

All in 'Cause of You by crimsontheory

Harry was married to the most amazing man in the world and he was ready to take the next step of their relationship. As he journeyed down the road of adoption, he realized it was bumpier than he had anticipated.

drive all night to keep her warm by thepriestthinksitsthedevil (stubliminalmessaging)

After a devastating break-up, Harry discovers that his life is depressingly empty. He spends some time with his best friend Niall and Niall's lovable oaf of a golden retriever and realizes that the missing piece in his life is a pet. Unfortunately, the pet that seizes Harry's heart is a sickly puppy who is hostile towards people after a history of abuse and neglect from her previous owners. Can Harry, with the help of the handsome vet, Dr. Tomlinson, earn this puppy's love and nurse her back to health?

Sing With Me (just for today) by Eleven_11

When Harry arrives at Camp Half Blood as a clumsy and terrified 12-year-old, he has no clue what he's doing, just that he really wants to be friends with this Louis kid. Louis has been at camp for five years when Harry shows up, and he still doesn't know who his godly parent is. Everything Louis does is in hope of catching his dad’s attention. Everything Harry does is in hopes of being enough.

The story picks up in the Percy Jackson universe after the Titan War and right in the middle of the conflict with the Giants. Louis is one of the demigods left behind to defend the camp, and Harry just discovered he's a demigod.

Calling Love by AlwaysAqua

“Can I just say I miss you? Is that allowed? I know we said we said there’s no point in saying it because we can’t change the time apart. But I just really fucking miss you.” — This whole fic is a voicemail.

Hope by kiwikero

Louis was, emphatically, not a cat person.

Roses in the Rain by theweightofmywords

“Don’t- I know what you’re going to ask, and I… Harry, I can’t,” he said, his voice cracking. “Please. You know that I can’t.”

Louis had his six siblings and his old house with its falling-apart porch to take care of. This town was where people still approached him, 8 years after high school graduation, to tell him that they loved him as Danny in Grease. This town was where he had his pick of suitors, where he had his first kiss, where he took his first steps, where his mama lived, died, and was buried, and he couldn’t leave just to follow some man that he loved.

Harry, for now, seemed to understand that.

“Okay, baby,” Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Okay.”

I Kinda Need A Hero (Is It You) by FallingLikeThis

Louis is a barista who’s had his heart broken. Harry is the boy who wants to put the pieces back together.

Heart of a Lion (With Metal in His Teeth) by graceling_in_a_suit

The man sighed impatiently. “Can you confirm your mission, please, you useless piece of junk.” Harry smiled politely. “Mission Code: 645-a3. Status: incomplete. Description: assess the situation on Olivia, report all findings to Captain Cowell and his board of advisors in three to five days. Specifically, locate and analyse the citizen known as Louis Tomlinson, suspected leader of the current strike, and present a strategy for destabilising his movement.”

Harry is an Android. Louis is his target: a revolutionary leader trying to free his people.

(01110100 01101000 01100101 01111001 00100000 01100110 01100001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101.)

Hiding in the Rain by asphodelknox

Louis’s used to the bullies. However, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy Harry Styles dragging him off on adventures to avoid them.

This Soft and Fluffy Thing Called by LadyLondonderry

Harry waits.

He waits for his eleventh birthday. He waits with bated breath. He waits and waits and waits and watches the post for the letter - the letter that decides his fate - the letter from Hogwarts.

or, the one where Harry was adopted as a baby, his downstairs neighbor is Louis, and he really should learn not to keep things bottled up.

Love, This Wild Thing by asphodelknox

Paris, the City of Love. Harry's hiding an unused Tinder account and Louis's hiding how much he doesn't want to go home. They find what they need in each other.

You're Gonna Pay for This by Eleven_11

“'NO!” Three sets of hands moved to grab Harry, and he was so startled that he jumped into the air from his nearly seated position on their new couch, butt just inches away from the pristine leather. He scanned the faces of the four boys in front of him, all colored with a mixture of shock, incredulity, and embarrassment. Harry was at a loss. “Why?” he sighed. " --- Or, Louis and Harry get something new, and the boys refuse to break it in. Chaos and ridiculousness ensue.

Teenage Dirtbag by 13ways

Louis loves Harry. Harry dislikes confinement. They play some dodgeball and kiss.

A Pun-derful Life by AlwaysAqua

Falling in love with his best friend was never part of the plan, but it happened. It keeps happening; Over and over again on a daily basis. Sometimes, even that’s too long between falling in love.

Or, Harry and Louis use too many puns as a means to make each other laugh.

Back To One by FallingLikeThis

Harry opens his eyes to a blinding white light. It fades gingerly and he blinks as his eyes adjust to his surroundings. There’s a soft cushion beneath his bum and his legs are crisscrossed in front of him. He’s only wearing a pair of white boxer briefs for some reason but he’s oddly comfortable wearing so little in a strange place. Slowly, he becomes aware of a crinkling sound and looks down to find that he holds a square of paper in his hands.

Neutral Good it says in pretty, flowy handwriting.

“Hello, everyone!” A chipper voice calls out, capturing Harry’s attention and pulling his eyes towards its location. He takes in the woman suddenly standing before him with her hands clasped in front of her.

“Welcome to The Afterlife."

a house built out of stone by robpatFF

Louis has a used bookshop and Harry has a habit of claiming things that don't belong to him.

Through the Darkest of Your Days by robpatFF

"Harry thinks he might not really know what okay is, but Louis is warm next to him, solid and constant and questioning. He’s all wide eyes and nerves and vulnerability. And this feels alright, this might be some sort of okay, Harry thinks." Future!fic, roadtrip!fic, OT5 friendship!fic.

Only Several Miles From the Sun by robpatFF

It started with a walk and unexpected rain and Babs. It started with a smile and green eyes and a bag of warm apple cinnamon muffins. Actually, it started with the bakery. Bakery AU, because of reasons.

Fate's A Bitch Really (Yes) by CalamityK

Louis is twenty-three now, and painfully aware that “Yes.” Is quite a common response when first meeting someone. ----- or that soulmate au where everyone has the first words their soulmate is supposed to say to them tattooed on their body

Have You Coming Back Again by whoknows

It’s five o’clock in the morning. Louis has a lecture at half eight. He could be using this time to study or to do his readings or to go to the gym, but - well. He doesn’t have any exams coming up, he’s not going to his seminar today anyway and he hates the gym.

Instead he’s using this time to fuck with Harry Styles’ poor little brain.

Louis jogs across the street and jabs the key into the car door. It opens easily, not that he was expecting anything else. He copied the key for a reason, after all.

He’s got Harry’s schedule memorized, more because the guy keeps following him around than anything, so he doesn’t bother looking around before climbing behind the wheel and setting his bag on the passenger seat. It’s a Monday, which means that Harry doesn’t even get out of bed before noon unless he’s planning on harassing Louis.

Nice Boy Seeks Same For Hook-Up by LittleMousling

From a kinkmeme prompt: Louis wants to lose his virginity but doesn't want anyone at school to know he's gay. In order to finally get with a guy, he posts an ad on Craigslist.

Harry Styles answers.

like a simile, i paint suggestive pictures (of me and you) by dangerbears

louis is a TA for an english 101 class and harry is stupid gorgeous which of course leads to a morality crisis.

Hiding Out in the Kitchen by LittleMousling

Harry's in an internationally famous boyband with his three best mates, he gets laid on a pretty regular basis, and he's headed to Australia in a week. He doesn't need anything else, and he certainly doesn't need a boyfriend. If this nice guy he met in a coffeeshop wants to date him, great—but that's all it is. Right?

when i feel that something by somerdaye

In which Harry and Louis are put into a duo instead of a group, and Louis Googles asexuality.

Some Say It's a Blessing, Some Say It's a Curse by homelesshats

In a world where humans are blessed with timers on their wrists to tell them precisely when they'll meet their soulmate, Harry has waited his whole life -- eighteen years, six months, one week and five days exactly -- for this day.

scared that i couldn’t find all the answers, honey by cathedralhearts

from the 1dkinkmeme on livejournal; niall writes larry stylinson fan fiction

If You Weren't Real I'd Make You Up by FeelsForBreakfast

These are the facts: This is a love story. Harry can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what isn’t. Louis doesn’t eat.

blackjacks running down my back by dangerbears

AU. university stuff. best friend stuff. music stuff. sappy stuff.

You're The One That I Want by spacecakesandmilkshakes

Harry had always been Louis' best friend and...well...his baby, until one day he realized that his baby was all grown up.

Make Tea, Not War by howdoyouwhisk (popsongdelusional)

"Is he the messiest?"

"Yes."

"Does he do the washing up?"

"Never."

"Does he make his bed?"

"Never."

"Hopeless, hopeless flatmate. Would you rather be with one of these guys?"

"Nope!"

Or: Louis attempts to become a better flatmate, much to Harry's dismay.

So much stays unknown till the time has come by becka

While on holiday in 2011, Louis has an unexpected visitor from his future.

if it's me you're looking for by eleadore

Louis has a bad habit of getting drunk before he confesses--or maybe it's the other way around. AU.

touch my neck and i'll touch yours by amongseafarers, gravitycentered

Harry feels the press of Louis’ leg against his side and the flimsy cotton of Louis’ pajamas. “Soft,” he mumbles, curling his hand around Louis’ thigh and using the grip to pull himself closer, nestling his face into the side of Louis’ hip.

Where Your Heart Is by antihetharry, tvshows_addict

Louis is ready for his brand new adventure. So what if he suffers from a genetic condition that prevents him from being touched? College is going to be awesome. It has to. Karma kind of owes him right now. Forget about his overprotective mother, or Liam-- his entirely too chipper step brother-- or his mess of a roommate. Forget about the gloves he has to wear at all times. He’s here to expand his knowledge, write and drown himself in books -- No matter how distracting ‘Hallway Boy’ may be-- The obnoxious, flirty frat wannabe determined to become the bane of Louis’ existence. 

Or, a college AU set in San Francisco where two lost boys who seemingly have nothing in common find inspiration, each other, and themselves in the process.

Gracious Goes the Ghost of You by haloeverlasting

And there it was again. That heaviness, that shift in the air that makes everything feel just a little slower. It’s like just moving forward makes him sore from the exertion. It’s not in the least physical, it’s his heart and mind and soul that feels stretched and pushed too far. It’s those moments, where his heart feels like it’s thudding only because it still can, that Louis feels the itch to glance at the clock. When he aches to know how long it’s been and maybe a part of him is wondering how long it will be. If this time, when he checks the clock, he’ll feel the same shame for his long stint of grief, but it will be followed by some sort of pride. He’s made it this far, and “because it still can” is a perfectly good reason for his heart to keep beating.

“What are you thinking about?” Harry asks.

Louis hums, shifting a little to rest his head on top of Harry’s. “Is this your new question?"

“Yeah,” he whispers, softly.

“Just… thinking about how long it’s been. And how long it may be before it doesn’t hurt so much anymore."

Harry is a ghost who comes to visit. Louis feels like a ghost, himself. In forgiveness, they find their way back to life.

You Drive Me Crazy ( I Just Can't Sleep) by objectlesson

The first time Louis ends up in Harry’s bed is a total accident.

try to not remember (rather than forget) by hereforlou

Harry hadn’t left, not really. He had been right there the entire time. And that’s what had made it worse, knowing that his body was within touching distance but his mind, everything that made Harry Harry, was lost somewhere Louis wasn’t able to reach.

He hadn’t left, but that’s what it had felt like most of the time. Just as if one day Harry had up and left him.

(Or the one where Harry wakes up.)

Say You'll Remember by whisperdlullaby

au. louis and harry are best mates that are only half aware that they're also soulmates. alternatively, louis goes to university and harry travels the world, and they always manage to find their way back to each other.

takes place over nine years, in which they love and hurt, make mistakes and learn, and above all, grow.

things unspoken by stylinsoncity

he wants to say it. he’s waited his whole life to say it. but how do you tell your childhood best friend you want them?

So Much Left to Say by myownspark

Reason #32: Cheer Someone Up.

Harry remembers Louis stalking along the Cougar’s sideline as the final seconds of the game ticked away. He was apart from everyone, with his arms crossed and his head down, sort of fragile looking even in his pads and helmet. Harry’s fingers actually itched to hold his hand, just as they do now. He holds the phone up to take a selfie and smiles into the camera, trying to ask Louis a question with his eyes. (Are you really okay? Tell me the truth. I bet you’re sitting on your bed, playing Madden, sulking. If you want to see me, I’ll come. I know you better than anyone. You’re sad. I’d like to come.) He pushes send.

(Harry and Louis play for rival high school football teams, and when they play against each other in the Homecoming game, someone has to lose.)

kiwi by fondleeds

With a stuttered mixture of a laugh and a groan, Harry lets his head droop, pushes his forehead against Louis’ chest and leans into him, fingers curled around the railing.

"You’re driving me crazy,” he breathes.

Louis lets out a puff of laughter, and when Harry lifts his eyes, the look in Louis’ gaze is one he knows too well, so distinctively coy and mischievous and gently charming, his lips quirked up with a smirk. Harry’s heart falls into the palms of his playful hands. “You’re into it.”

-

AU. Harry plays on Saturday nights at The Motley. Louis bartends on Saturday nights at The Motley.

It’s a thing.

Things That Go Hump in the Night by haloeverlasting, indiaalphawhiskey

“I thought you said I make everything fun,” Harry replies with a curt shrug. “I thought you liked trying new things with me.”

Harry is clearly upset with him, and camping or no, Louis was hoping for a good weekend all the same.

“You do make everything fun, but I’m warning you right now. This isn’t something new we’re trying. This is a well established hatred and I’m fucking cursed, so this isn’t going to be fun.” Louis hates how petulant he sounds, but it’s true. Camping never has and never will go well for him. And sure, maybe part of that is his attitude, but the attitude has only come from a consistent cause and effect in his life.

Louis goes camping. Something horrible happens. Louis is miserable.

It’s science.

Or, the one where Louis is right.

Things Gone Cold by MediaWhore

"your heart is warm for things gone cold.”— Sophocles, Antigone

With his soulmate’s thoughts about him written on his skin and the world’s eyes trailing his every movement, Harry Styles is having a bit of a rough time releasing his second album in peace. And that’s not even counting the breakup. Or the car crash.

Ever Fixed by delsicle

Three years ago, Harry was happily married, successfully heading the largest technology company in the world, and raising his young daughter. After he loses nearly everything in the aftermath of his daughter’s lost battle with a rare brain tumor, it may take three strange and yet very familiar visitors – and a man from the therapy group Harry keeps refusing to go to – to get him back on track.

Based on the film Collateral Beauty

The Melody You Never Heard by bananasandboots

It's one last adventure. One last chance to be young and carefree. One final weekend before they take up their internships, their corporate positions, before they enter the real world, fresh out of university. Niall's his best mate. Liam's been there for him since they were lost, little freshmen, trying to find their ways through an overwhelming first year. Harry can't disappoint them, even if it means enduring four days with Louis.

Louis, who he does share a history with, a history he's never told anyone about, not even Niall, a history he hasn't brought up in three years because it's stupid and embarrassing and confusing.

Or, the one where Harry gets roped into a four-day camping trip with the boy who kissed him and never called back.

One for Luck by leavingonatrain

The very first time Louis remembers hearing Harry Styles' deep, deep voice, he's just won gold at the World Equestrian Games and he's officially back on Great Britain's Olympic team. He's also three sheets to the wind, drunk on victory and champagne, and there's a gorgeous boy whispering in his ear. Life's grand.

(AU: Louis and Harry are professional riders on the British Olympic team.)

we've got to get away from here by suspendrs

“It is my understanding that you are the most comprehensive member of this agency in the field of extraterrestrial life, is that right?” the agent asks. He’s trying to sound calm, but Louis can tell he’s shaken as well.

“Um, I guess so,” Louis says, glancing over at the man in the blanket again.

Suddenly, Louis’s blood runs cold. There’s something off about the man, something in his gaze, something Louis can’t put his finger on. It’s terribly unsettling, but excitement bubbles in his gut.

Or, Louis is an FBI agent who likes to think himself a paranormal expert, and Harry is the alien that somehow ended up in his office.

love is divine by stylinsoncity

Being a witch doesn't help when it comes to unrequited love.

Sing When You're Winning by hazmesentir

Harry is fifteen minutes late to the office on the day Louis Tomlinson comes out as gay.

Or, the one where Harry's a chronically underpaid magazine intern and Louis is the Premier League's first gay footballer and pretty much the last thing they need is each other.

the impossible now by stylinsoncity

A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction.

Finding Lou by stylinsoncity

Louis is the nomadic stranger who wanders into Harry’s bookstore. Harry is the skeptic who falls for him.

I'll Know My Name As It's Called Again by pukeandcry

Louis wakes up in Harry's body. This is a problem for several reasons.

Devil in the Bible Belt by TinyBeautifulTales (MikeandHarveyTime)

A Shameless AU starring Louis as Fiona and Harry as Jimmy/Steve.

(or, Louis is raising his seven siblings by himself, and Harry steals cars and crash lands into Louis' life. Together, they navigate south side Chicago and love.)

my heart is breathing for this moment in time by usedtothebeach

When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old.

Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they're put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn't know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry's always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.

A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile.

Those are the Days That Bind Us (Together Forever) by nightwideopen

Soulmate AU where when two soulmates meet they can hear each other's thoughts for a limited amount of time.

or

My Excuse To Write Teacher!Louis

je vole by nightwideopen

Two best friends, two broken boys on the run from themselves who managed to land a safe space in the heart of a beautiful city.

Harry and Louis are thieves in Paris. They're all the other has.

(Alternatively titled Pink.)

Don't Act Like It's a Bad Thing to Fall in Love by nightwideopen

Louis was born blind, completely blind, leaving him with nothing but the absolute blackness that his lack of vision produces.

Harry, on the other hand, is deaf. No sound can be registered by the two tiny ears his rowdy, chocolate curls obscure so well.

The first time Louis and Harry meet, it’s sort of an accident.

Take What's Mine by jaerie

Years after he is kidnapped, his life altered forever, Louis goes through the motions in a way that barely feels like living. Harry is a wild card, a forbidden fruit that Louis swore off of before he even had a chance to experience it. Maybe, in the end, Harry holds the key to being reborn. Louis just has to be open to the idea first.

(End game: this is a comfort/healing fic)

Wholehearted by TheMagicWord

AU. When superstar singer and winner of The Voice Louis Tomlinson tweets “Nothing worse than waking up with no milk for a cuppa !! Gutted” he doesn’t expect someone to bring him some. And he really doesn’t expect that someone to have bright green eyes, long curly hair, and (fucking) dimples.

Peaches and Cream by seducedbycurls

The study was to see if two strangers could live together for a month and fall in love.

“We are a new organization working to prove that love can do extraordinary things.” “You will do everything together & you are not allowed to leave the resort for the whole month.” “We want to prove that opposites attract.”

Louis is allergic to peaches, Harry smells like peaches. Louis just came for the money.

Singing To Tiny Dancer by BriaMaria

“Yes!” Harry punched a fist into the air. He laughed at the confusion that wrinkled the little space between Louis’ brows.

“What?”

“You’re flirting with me,” Harry smiled, letting his dimples pop.

Louis’ face went blank for two seconds and then he rolled his eyes, one side of his mouth lifting. “Am not.”

“You soooo are,” Harry sang out, poking him in the shoulder. “You like me.”

“I was simply showing you how to actually bring… what did you call it? Your A-game.”

Harry adopted a patronizing expression, sure it would piss him off. “And you did great. Really.”

“Oi, fuck off,” Louis said, but he was actually laughing now. Outright. It was gorgeous and Harry wanted to live in this moment forever. It was the very best one he’d experienced. He wanted to always remember the image of Louis’ crinkled eyes, the sound of his breathy giggles, the smell of citrus that radiated off him as he swayed in his amusement. And Louis didn’t even know his name.

Or ... When everything gets to be a bit too much for A-list actor Louis Tomlinson, he runs back to the town he had never really called home and the boy who was the only one he did.

All the Lines We Cast Will Bring Us Home by afirethatcannotdie

Harry wakes to a series of tweet notifications.

@Louis_Tomlinson: Sooo excited to announce I’m going on tour !! In America in 5 weeks and then coming back to the UK ! Get tix here: bit.ly/LTonTour @Louis_Tomlinson: Gonna be siiiick !! “Niall!” he yells, running out of his room. “Louis is performing at the O2 in January. Niall, I have to go. Wait. Niall. Oh my god, we’re gonna see Louis Tomlinson’s bum.”

AU. The one where Louis is a famous singer, Harry's a uni student obsessed with his music, and sometimes things have a way of working out.

say you want me (orphan_account)

Louist95: @HarryStyles, I’m personally offended that you haven’t invited me to your concert in Leeds next week. Proper fan I am and all.

HarryStyles: @Louist95 Proper fan? I’m personally offended on behalf of all our fans everywhere that you’ve lumped yourself with them.

~ A Famous/Not-Famous AU featuring Liam, Zayn, and Harry as the members of Sonic Boom, an English band that unexpectedly sky rocketed to international fame, Niall as their biggest fan, and Louis as the exact opposite. Harry’s a closeted pop star and Louis is the uni student he keeps fighting with on Twitter. It’s all silly banter until it turns into something else.

Cosmic Love by smittenwithlouis

Sudden chills rake over his body yet again, making him stay rooted to the ground. Static in the air makes every hair on his body stand up straight. That's when he notices something a couple feet in front of him lying on the ground. It’s what appears to be a person, weird white beams snaking around them like Christmas lights. Louis' heart rate picks up. Is the person alright? What are they doing here? What the fuck is happening? Or: Louis lives in a small, desert town in the middle of nowhere Texas, yet a strange visitor manages to find Louis among the stars.

who we used to be by itsnotbleak

“The doctor said he might remember,” Gemma said. “If he was around familiar things. Mum thinks that means he needs to stay with her forever, spend all day looking at old baby pictures and school photos. But he remembers all that perfectly. It’s living with you and your weird gang of lost boys that he doesn’t remember.”

“And you think the best way to jog his memory is some weird kind of full-emersion re-enactment?”

“It might be,” said Gemma. “It can’t hurt to try.”

An au where Harry and Louis used to be together, and then they broke up, and now Harry can’t remember any of it.

we've got the world in our hands by sarcasticfluentry

A mutants/superpowers AU. Louis and his friends attend the Cowell Institute for General Education and Mutant Training in London; when Louis meets Harry, the newest student at the Cowell Institute, he immediately recruits Harry to help play matchmaker for his friend Zayn. Harry and Louis are so caught up in meddling in Zayn's love life, though, that they don't notice that their own friendship is progressing into something more. Meanwhile, an ominous threat up north grows slowly until suddenly, no mutant - or human - is safe.

You Are The Blood by sarcasticfluentry

A seventh-year Hogwarts AU in which Niall gets all the girls, Liam goes on a journey of self-discovery, Zayn falls in love, Harry wants something more, and Louis tries to figure out once and for all why he, a Muggleborn, was sorted into Slytherin.

the dark and the dentist by sunshiner

“I know this song,” Louis whispers, and Harry has to lean his ear toward him to pick up what he’s saying. “It was written for people to dance to it. We should be dancing.” We can’t, Harry almost spits, but it’d be stupid of him. Louis knows they can’t. Even if he looks like any regular Parisian in their twenties, and Harry looks like any hipster Parisian in their twenties, they can’t anyway. To be fair, they probably wouldn’t do it even if they were out. But if they were two uni students, both in Paris for an exchange, meeting over fallen books at the library, or because of mutual friends, or watching Monet’s Water Lilies? “How would we dance?” Harry murmurs, mouth almost pressed to Louis’ cheek, so close he can feel his warmth. What a picture they must make, two millionaires freezing in a park and dreaming of a different life. An account of the events of November 2014. Canon-compliant.

Autumn At My Window by TheCellarDoor

A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort'.

Featuring a lot of pining, Louis' addiction to Harry's scent, and a whole lot of sexual tension that might just snap loose when they decide to spend some time together all on their own.

My Saddle's Waiting by crimsontheory

It's late and Harry is bored. He texts his one night stand from last week for a quick, no strings attached hookup. As it turns out, the guy gave Harry the wrong number and it ends up being Louis instead.

Saw It In Your Eyes by taggiecb

Harry Styles counts himself extremely lucky that he has landed such a great roommate. It doesn’t bother him at all that his new roommate is gay. In fact, they get along so well that they have formed an extremely close friendship that takes up pretty much all his free time. When Louis starts bringing a new guy home with him, Harry is surprised by how much it bothers him. Is he not as okay as he thought he was with Louis’ sexuality?

Or the one where Harry is an oblivious walnut.

This Winter's Day by QuickedWeen

Dear Mr. Harry Edward Styles, We regret to inform you of the passing of your cousin Lord Edward William Seaward, the Viscount Merston. Please contact us at your earliest convenience. Sincerely, Messrs. Pratt, Rutherford, and Spaulding

Louis is Harry's stablemaster, and when he falls ill and his mother turns to Harry to help her try and find someone he can settle down with, it's only natural that Harry suggests himself.

There is my heart for you to hold (Feel the beat, feel the one blood?) by larrycaring

“You,” the man says simply, voice slightly breathless.

Louis instantly frowns, eyes narrowed. He feels like he recognizes the man, but he can’t put his finger on where he saw him. “What are you doing here?” he asks instead, trying to make his voice sound firm and assured.

The man’s alarmed face changes, the corner of his lips rising in a smirk. “I could ask you the same thing, bawcock.”

Louis’ frown deepens at the endearment, because this man and he are certainly not on that level yet.

“I’m a journalist,” Louis says, even though it’s a lie. He is pretty sure the boy can’t really legally justify his presence either.

“You too?” the man replies, his smirk constant on his face. It’s like he’s sharing a private joke Louis can’t understand, or remember. “So you are also here, in this blood-spattered hotel room, for some folklore stories?”

And then, Louis remembers.

Harold E. Styles.

or a vampire AU where famous vampire hunter Louis meets human Harry, and they go through hell to stay together and have their forever.

Strip That Down by Domeaspreadsheet

“Does this have something to do with Louis being into nipple piercings?”

Liam feels his mouth drop open, and snaps it shut quickly. “No. Why on earth would you think that?”

“Maybe because Louis told me he told you he thinks it’s hot on guys, and now you’ve convinced Harry to do it, three minutes after Louis walks out the door.”

“Well. When you put it that way.” Liam sighs. “Fine. I think they should be together. Thought this might help.”

Niall smacks him on the shoulder. “Why didn’t you say something? I’ve been hoping those two would get it together for years.”

-

Four strippers. Possible fun. A New Year’s Eve matchmaking plot. Will it work?

Sympathy For The Devil by taggiecb

Louis keeps stealing some of Harry’s mail, which would be annoying for anyone, but it’s especially troubling when you consider that Harry is Santa Claus. Harry will have to go through hell to get Louis to stop. Literally.

Or the one with Santa Harry and Satan Louis and a series of misspelled letters to Santa.

It's All Brand New by midnightwhistleberries

“Harry,” Louis intones emphatically, “literally everyone in the U.K. has known that I’m openly bisexual since 2011.”

“’Cept you, I guess,” supplies Niall.

In which Harry studies engineering, loves Madonna, and can't tell if Louis likes him or just keeps coming back to the record store because he's some sort of musical hoarder. Louis is famous, Harry has no idea, communication issues are rampant and fluffy pining ensues.

you pull me in by yoursongonmyheart

“Did you really wear silk jammies to meet him?” Fizzy is almost in tears.

He’s going to kill them.

He’s really going to kill them.

Ernie throws his backpack on the floor before telling Fizzy, quite loudly, “Mr. Styles looked at Achoo like this” and making an exaggerated jaw dropped face.

“That is not what happened!” Louis protests.

“And Achoo looked at Mr. Styles like that, too!” Doris pulls the same face before laughing.

------

//or the one where Louis is a model, Harry teaches Doris and Ernie at primary and now might be a good time to fall in love.

all the kingdom lights shine just for me and you by hypocorism

“I can help the baby, for I have not yet given my gift.” Caroline smiles and waves as the audience cheers appreciatively. “Although, tragically, I cannot reverse the work of such a powerful opponent, I can mediate the effects. Prince Harry will not die, but will fall into a deep and peaceful sleep. From this slumber, he can only be awoken by a kiss from his true love! Once she is found, his safety will be ensured!” Happy sighs all around.

“Thank you, good fairy Caroline,” the king says politely. “We are in your debt.” She beams and the other three fairies look mildly annoyed.

“I knew she was full of it when she said she ‘couldn’t think of a good gift,’” one of them whispers to the other two. “I was supposed to go last!”

In My Place by kassio

Prince Louis has it all. He's wealthy, privileged, famous, and handsome, with a loving family and a world of opportunities. There's only one problem: he isn't actually the queen's son.

Harry and Niall Horan don't have much, but they have a dream: to win the X Factor and achieve something more than their normal middle-class life.

Two dreams collide and two very different paths come together when Louis requests to meet with Harry after seeing him on the X Factor.

Even As Young As You Are by ologist

Harry’s sister has a baby. When he goes to meet her, he finds more than one new love of his life at the hospital.

Two Steps Behind by sacredheart (orphan_account)

"Can I play?" He's far away enough that he almost has to yell a little bit. He's got one leg steadying him on the ground, and he's holding the handles of his bike as tightly as he can. He doesn't want to fall off in front of the older kids - the cooler kids.

"We've got four of us, though, and we don't want uneven teams," Zayn lies apologetically, and Louis frowns. He's not stupid. They don't want to play with him. "Maybe tomorrow." That's also a lie, because Zayn said the same thing yesterday and now it's tomorrow and Louis is being told no, again. His head is spinning with rejection and confusion and, most of all, disappointment.

(Or, Louis is two years younger than his neighbors, Harry, Liam, Niall, and Zayn, and he grows up bending over backwards to get their attention and acceptance. Especially Harry's.)

You and The Moon and Neptune (Got it Right) by alienharry

Of all the different ways Louis had pictured meeting his soulmate, he never imagined he’d come second to his little sister. He assumed he’d have met his own soulmate by now, that he’d already be married and sickeningly in love, guiding his kid sister through these new and confusing feelings. He wanted one hand on his soulmate’s waist and the other on Lottie’s back as he told her that everything was okay and she wasn’t moving too fast.

Of all the ways Harry saw his life going, being a 23-year-old sales associate at Harrods and hating every minute of it was not what he envisioned for himself. If he’s being honest, he saw himself in Peru or China or - hell - even fucking Denver, just traveling. He wants to see the world, not oversee the women’s department 36 hours a week.

---

Louis has always wanted to meet his soulmate; he's built his life around the plan that one day his soulmate would come along, and they could begin their happily ever after.

Harry has always wanted to travel; he's built his life around the idea that nothing is permanent, and seeing the world is his only objective - soulmates mean nothing to him after all.

Home for the Holly Days by LadyLondonderry

There he is, bowl of batter in one arm and whisk in the other. The wireless is blaring something that distinctly sounds like Fairytale of New York, which would make sense with how much Harry loves muggle music.

But. The thing is, is he's doing some terribly odd moves, swaying his hips slightly out of pace with the music but with so much more passion than Louis thinks he's ever seen anybody display about this song. His apron, down to his knees, is swishing back and forth as he moves and - dear lord - his shorts don't even reach as low as the hem of his apron.

Louis has to get out of here.

Or, Louis’s participating in the Secret Santa exchange between all the Hogwarts professors stuck at school over the winter holidays, and the Sorting Hat may fancy itself a bit of a matchmaker.

The Fairy Ring by thedeathchamber

Harry has dreamed of a world outside the tiny village of Holmes Chapel for as long as he can remember... a world full of magic and adventure and true love. It was nothing but a childhood dream, however, until an old family friend comes bearing word of a plot against Harry's life and a very dangerous truth: Harry is the rightful heir to the crown and must embark on a perilous quest to reclaim his throne from the ruthless would-be King Simon. But in the end Harry will find himself fighting for more than a crown, and on the verge of losing something much more precious than his sovereign power. Because magic might be real, but life is not a fairy tale, and Harry is a prince up against a very big dragon.

Or: a medieval fantasy AU in which Harry is a prince in disguise and Louis is the king of the faeries.

I see London, I see France by incandescentlight

Harry Potter AU. Louis is working at the coffee shop when the most gorgeous boy walks in. Harry is an eighth year Beauxbatons student and Louis is determined not to fall in love because Harry returns to France in four months.

kiss me like it's christmas, hold on 'til we're breathless by itjustkindahappened

Louis is broke and in desperate need of a coat, Harry is a rich kid who catches him shoplifting and they accidently go on a date.

tether beat by turnyourankle

Prince Harry meets his longtime celebrity crush, Louis Tomlinson, after the Royal Variety Performance.

just a dream by BriaMaria

“Won’t you join me?” The voice was soft, more melody than anything else. It wrapped around Louis, silken bands that tugged at his arms, at his chest.

He didn’t step out of the shadows. “No.”

The man in the pond smiled, sad and sweet and knowing, and then sunk beneath the water in the next heartbeat. The butterflies that had adorned his chest like jewelry, that had tangled in his dark curls, fluttered away.

--

Or the one where Louis is the king of the forest, Harry is friends with butterflies and a war is brewing on the horizon.

your eyes are like starlight now by babyboylouis

“Yeah. Me, Daddy, and Buttons. That’s my puppy. I named him. Sometimes we call him Butt for short,” Olivia told him, looking up at the boy with a full smile, minus her two front teeth. Louis realised that talking to this girl was more fun than talking to Zayn. Zayn was a little shit, though, so that was understandable.

or the one where louis hates his job as an elf at the shopping mall, but hates it a lot less when he meets olivia and her hot daddy

Let's Raise a Cup by YesIsAWorld

Louis is a telekinetic bartender and uses his super special powers to cheer up recently-broken-up-with Harry.

which is sweeter love or its loss by patdkitten

After he catches his boyfriend cheating on him, Louis runs away from London and answers an ad to housesit an estate in the Yorkshire Moors while the mysterious owner is away. It's easy enough to forget about his problems when confronted with the routine that exists in a former abbey in the moors, when the only people around are a cat and the caretaker.

And then the mysterious owner returns.

Don't Put Out the Glow by backonefish

"He fists out a pair of skinny jeans and a plain black tee. Nothing wrong there. Then he sees an atrocious Hawaiian shirt in Zayn’s hand and he starts digging through the bag urgently, pulling out more and more items that don’t belong to him"

Or: The one where Louis picks up the wrong bag on his way to Paris.

The Powerful, Immovable Object You Can't Change by LiveLaughLoveLarry

627: The dread of your own hotheadedness

Louis couldn't be happier about Lottie and Tommy finally getting married. Except for the presence of his Aunt Martha.

~*~*~

Harry looked between Louis and Martha. “Is this… the aunt?” he asked.

Only Harry could manage to be that polite, yet still manage to convey that much disdain. Louis turned back to Martha, who was frowning at both of them, and gave her a smile that mirrored the false sweetness of her own. “Aunt Martha, this is Harry,” he said. “My boyfriend for the past five years. As you can see, I think he’d have some objections to my finding a nice girl, or a wife. Harry, this is my aunt Martha.”

“Charmed, I'm sure” Harry said, making no motion to shake her hand.

In A World Full Of Wrong (You're The Thing That's Right) by LiveLaughLoveLarry

Harry is a vampire. Louis is a vampire Hunter. This sounds like a bad idea already, doesn’t it? Yeah, it probably was. Feat. Vampire!Zayn and obliviously normal human Niall. When Niall is the most normal person in your life, you know you have problems.

~*~*~

Niall tapped him on the forehead. “He’s not lost, dipshit. It’s just an excuse.”

Harry was well and truly baffled. “Excuse? I – what?”

“He doesn’t ask anyone else to show him the way.”

Harry blinked. “Just me?”

“Just you.”

“But – why?”

Niall gave him a look. “Do I really have to spell it out for you?” He poked Harry in the chest. “He likes you.”

“No way!” Harry said. Then, “Really?”

Coming Home Through the Dark to You by LadyLondonderry

Harry Styles works at the Fox in the Snow, the most hipster coffee joint around. He's got too many roommates and a best friend he met his first day of university who he might very well be head-over-heels for.

[racingtoaredlight]

The degenerate’s guide to college football TV watch ‘em ups, 2019 season, week 2

Now do you want to read about college football or do you want to listen to your wildest fantasy of Jeffrey Epstein conspiracy theories in a podcast format? If you answered “college football” then click to read more! If you want to listen to an incredible podcast that will feed your absolute worst inclinations towards nihilistic disillusionment then click right here! True Anon is really all I’ve ever wanted in a left-leaning shitfest. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Now for the football. Hell, the CIA is behind this shit, too. The highlight of the week for me is the line on the Bammers game. No way Saban holds up his end of that bargain. Why the fucking hell is there even a line on that shit?

If you’ve read this nonsense before you know the drill. If not, the times are eastern, the schedule is ripped from FBSchedules and the gambling informatics are per Vegas Insider dot com. Degenerate football can alternately mean football that you only pay attention to for purposes of gambling or the low-level, barely FBS, preferably late night types of games that play for stadium crowds in the hundreds and TV audiences in the dozens. It doesn’t have to be college ball, the UFL is my true ideal of football degeneracy. If you gambled on that you are my target audience. Onward and downward we go.

Saturday, September 7

Matchup                                                                   Time (ET)        TV/Mobile

Ohio at Pitt                                                                11:00am            ACCN

Wow. What a special game. It’s got a one hour headstart and for what? Goddamn is this trash. Why is ACCN not just an extra ESPN channel? SECN and Longhorn Network are just parts of the ESPN app but ACCNe is just off by itself inaccessible to 90% of the country.

Southern at Memphis                                              12:00pm  WMC-TV / ESPN3

There’s no line on this game so just check on it to see what’s going on with Memphis. They beat their secret rival The Racist South last week but scoring less than 20 is weird for them.

Rutgers at 20 Iowa                                                    12:00pm              FS1

This being a conference game is funny. Maryland and Rutgers being in the B1G is funny. And stupid. Mostly stupid. But that’s why it’s funny. Take Iowa even at -19 because it’s Rutgers.

West Virginia at Missouri                                          12:00pm           ESPN2

Speaking of dumb conference stuff, both of these teams belong in the Big 12. That’s the true spirit of college football and it’s completely akilter. Is Mizzourah the good offense out of these two now? Everything is wrong. I wouldn’t touch a 14-point line in either direction here but over 62.5 seems worthwhile.

Vanderbilt at Purdue                                                   12:00pm            BTN

These are the same team but one has Rondale Moore. Otherwise there is no difference.

UAB at Akron                                                               12:00pm          CBSSN

I don’t like the beloved CBS Sports hosting a MAC team even if they are hosting UAB. Why did the o/u drop from 55 to 46 over the course of the week? That’s odd. I’d have to check with our dear president but I don’t think Ohio is in the path of any hurricanes.

21 Syracuse at Maryland                                             12:00pm          ESPN

From the bottom of my Georgetown-born, VA-burbs raised heart I hate everything about this game. I would love to see Syracuse lose even if it means Maryland winning. The odds have flipped crazily from opening Syracuse -5 to now having Maryland -1.5. Take the turtles.

Army at 7 Michigan                                                      12:00pm           FOX

I saw ESPN talking up Army last night so go all in on Michigan to beat the ever-living piss out of the troops. -22.5 is nothing.

Bowling Green at Kansas State                                 12:00pm            FSN

Good lord, no.

Charleston Sou. at South Carolina                            12:00pm          SECN

This is cancelled, right? If not pound the under.

Cincinnati at 5 Ohio State                                           12:00pm           ABC

Cincinnati sucks but count on Fickell to make an Ohio State University look bad one more time. Bearcats +16, book it.

Kennesaw State at Kent State                                     12:00pm        ESPN3

I think Kennesaw is the Welsh version of the British Kent. I could be wrong about that but who cares?

Old Dominion at Virginia Tech                                     12:00pm        ESPNU

VPISU should be better by now. I’m wrong a lot but it’s possible I was really wrong about Justin Fuente. Betting on ODU sounds like a bad idea but I fully endorse it.

Western Carolina at NC State                                       12:30pm          RSN

There is no reason to bet on a game like this. This is practice.

NIU at 13 Utah                                                                 1:00pm         Pac-12N

I could be wrong but off the top of my head I don’t think Utah usually covers in the first four weeks of the season. This is a guess you can use in your gambling.

Fordham at Ball State                                                     2:00pm         ESPN3

Blocks of Granite for the win. Book it.

USF at Georgia Tech                                                       2:00pm          ACCN

By my count Georgia Tech covered last week against Clemson. USF just hung out in a trash can for 60 minutes. Yet the Bulls are favored here. Charlie Strong was once a hot commodity that programs all over the country coveted. Hindsight is absolutely hilarious.

Tennessee Tech at Miami (Ohio)                                    2:30pm          ESPN+

There’s no line but I’m loading up the wagon for the Golden Eagles. This is the big auto mechanics school, right?

Southern Illinois at UMass                               3:30pm     FloSports / NESNplus

I, uh, guess, uh... Don’t watch this under any circumstances. Pack a cyanide pill if you must.

Southern Miss at Mississippi State                                3:30pm         ESPNU

This is an appealing bit of misery but there’s no chance I watch it. Miss State -16.5 seems crazy against anybody. I think.

12 Texas A&M at 1 Clemson                                             3:30pm          ABC

This is statistically expected to be Clemson’s toughest game and they’re still favored by 16.5. The money looks to be going towards aTm but I can’t shake the notion that Clemson is going to absolutely maul them from the get go.

Central Michigan at 17 Wisconsin                                    3:30pm         BTN

I don’t trust Nick Saban to do what’s right by gambling folk but Wisconsin is different. If they don’t humiliate undermanned opponents that means they are a bad team. -35 is the kind of line you see when the Badgers go for 80+.

Charlotte at Appalachian State                                          3:30pm       ESPN+

You’re on your own with this one.

Eastern Illinois at Indiana                                                   3:30pm        BTN

See: Charlotte at Appalachian State.

Grambling State at Louisiana Tech                                    3:30pm      NFLN

Is there a way to make a throwback game between Doug Williams and Terry Bradshaw take place here?

Illinois at UConn                                                                   3:30pm    CBSSN

Oh, come the fuck on.

25 Nebraska at Colorado    ��                                                 3:30pm     FOX

The two Big 8 programs that benefited most from 5th downs are facing off on national TV representing the B1G and Pac-12. That’s horrible. Nebraska being a top 25 team but also being favored by only -4 against this version of Colorado is what is known as a paradox.

Richmond at Boston College                                             3:30pm  ACCNE xtra

No line. What cowardice.

Murray State at 3 Georgia                                                    4:00pm    ESPN2

Pound the under.

UTSA at Baylor                                                                     4:00pm       FSN

Go UTSA. We’re all rooting for you.

Western Illinois at Colorado State                                      4:00pm     ATTSN

Man, this is all trash. Not even the good kind.

New Mexico State at 2 Alabama                                          4:00pm      SECN

The predicted score by way of gambling is Bama 60, NMSU 5. Saban is pulling his starters in the second quarter, though, so put a buck or two on New Mexico State just for the hell of it.

San Diego State at UCLA                                                     4:15pm   Pac-12N

This is Pac-12 After Dark/CBS Sports fodder playing in the sunlight. Both teams might explode, literally.

Northern Colorado at 22 Washington State                       5:00pm  Pac-12WA

Pac-12 Washington? That’s a channel? Washington State lookd good in week 1 so hit the over (63) and see what happens.

ULM at Florida State                                                             5:00pm      ACCN

Oh, Willie. Poor, poor Willie. Why, Willie, why? Monroe +22 looks pretty good to me.

Gardner-Webb at East Carolina                                           6:00pm     ESPN3

Yeah, buddy, now we’re into it. If this game happens. I think it’s not happening. But if it does? Man, oh, man. You know what I mean.

Maine at Georgia Southern                                                  6:00pm     ESPN+

Why would you think Eagles could beat Black Bears? That’s crazy.

North Carolina A&T at Duke                                            6:00pm   ACCNE xtra

Let’s go A&T, beat the devil.

South Dakota at 4 Oklahoma                                               7:00pm   FS PPV

What lunatics are paying for this? You should feel ashamed.

Jackson State at South Alabama                                         7:00pm   ESPN+

Lots of bodybag games, even at the lower levels. I hate it.

Wyoming at Texas State                                                        7:00pm   ESPN+

Kind of beautiful but you’ll probably have to squint to see it.

WKU at FIU                                                                             7:00pm    ESPN+

Get your shit together, Butch. Now. Stop embarrassing me.

18 UCF at Florida Atlantic                                                     7:00pm   CBSSN

Oh, now this - THIS! is what CBS Sports is great for. What a shitty game that I love like a long lost child.

Tennessee State at Middle Tennessee                                7:00pm   ESPN3

Too Tall U vs. MTSU is cool in a way but it won’t be a fun thing to watch.

North Texas at SMU                                                               7:00pm   ESPN3

Spencer is visiting ms621 and my people are expecting a lot of scoring in this one with the lawyers coming out on top. /suggestive eyebrow raises

McNeese at Oklahoma State                                                 7:00pm   ESPN+

Chuba Hubbard should get about 8 touches so watch early if you’re watching at all.

 Furman at Georgia State                                                        7:00pm   ESPN3

Man, this is a long list of boring crap.

Eastern Kentucky at Louisville                                          7:00pm  ACCNE xtra

Other than the 24 fumbles I thought Louisville looked pretty good last week. Not enough to tune in for a minute of this but maybe they can fine tune some of the difficult football activities like “snapping the football” and “holding the football close to your body” or “handing the ball to the running back” against Eastern Kentucky and then when they pop up against Clemson later on it’ll be worth watching.

Coastal Carolina at Kansas                                                   7:00pm   ESPN+

Les Magic: Kansas is favored to start the year 2-0. Not by a lot, mind you.

BYU at Tennessee                                                                   7:00pm   ESPN

Nobody tell Bergie but I’m rooting for the Mormons here. Gotta go for what makes the most people feel the worst about sports.

Tulane at 10 Auburn                                                                7:30pm   ESPN2

Is Auburn rising in the polls enough to make me bet against them at home -17 vs. Tulane? It sure is. Auburn is just as chaotic as LSU but not as funny about it.

UT Martin at 11 Florida                                                          7:30pm  ESPNU

Fuck the Gators, man.

Western Michigan at 19 Michigan State                              7:30pm     BTN

Sparty, too.

Arkansas at Mississippi, Oxford                                         7:30pm   SECN

I am on a descent into hell here.

Buffalo at 15 Penn State                                                       7:30pm     FOX

If Notre Dame is next I’m hanging up on this post.

Eastern Michigan at Kentucky                                             7:30pm   SECN Alt.

Whew. Hill people that can only intermittently football. That is a huge relief right now.

Liberty at Louisiana                                                              7:30pm     ESPN+

Fuck the Falwells, and not in a good way.

6 LSU at 9 Texas                                                                    7:30pm      ABC

There is one ironclad rule in college football gambling: never bet on an LSU game. Those who fail to heed this rule will never see longterm winnings. Oddsmakers keep pushing the line towards LSU and I agree wholeheartedly that’s where the expectations should reside but would you be even sort of surprised to see LSU blow this entirely and lose? No, you would not. Neither would I.

Nevada at 16 Oregon                                                           7:30pm     Pac-12N

Oregon is favored by 24 and my very cursory impression of these two is that Nevada is a straight up better team than the Ducks. Granted, I’m really bad at this, but that +24 looks like easy money.

Stony Brook at Utah State                                                   7:30pm   Facebook

Not even a great QB talent is worth going on facebook.

Miami (FL) at North Carolina                                               8:00pm     ACCN

Pound the damn under. Also, ESPN talking heads are all on the UNC to upset train so put whatever money you have set aside for this contest on the Hurricanes. 

Prairie View A&M at Houston                                              8:00pm     ESPN3

That one good recruiting class is mostly a memory for Houston at this point but they’ll still be fun to watch once D’Eriq King and Dana Holgorsen get on the same page.

UTEP at Texas Tech                                                              8:00pm       FSN

Wasn’t Texas Tech supposed to run the ball more this year? One week in they’re leading the country in passing. Maybe they ran the ball more and it still wasn’t very much.

Tulsa at San Jose State                                                      9:00pm      ESPN3

This is the kind of game that should be played in a prison yard.

Arkansas State at UNLV                                                      10:00pm  Facebook

This is the kind of game that shouldn’t be played.

California at 14 Washington                                               10:30pm      FS1

I do believe I’m the span of this game away from getting fully on board with UDub rolling the Pac-12 again. The only team with similar talent, as far as I have seen, is USC. But there are a long list of other issues with USC.

Minnesota at Fresno State                                                  10:30pm  CBSSN

This is the kind of stupid game I love but I think I’ll be watching Pennywise the Dancing Clown at this point.

23 Stanford at USC                                                               10:30pm    ESPN

USC should just fire Clay Helton now, win or lose.

Northern Arizona at Arizona                                                10:45pm   Pac-12N

It would be very Pac-12 of Arizona to lose this game.

Oregon State at Hawaii                                   11:59pm     Spectrum / Facebook

I guess facebook is there to scoop from the most bootlegged team in college football’s illegal audience but I still hate it. Hawaii playing at home two weeks in a row means pound the over even at 77.5. It’s not like Oregon State plays defense, either.

[ecotone99]

[SP] When you Know he's not Serious (the Psychic Wars)

We'd already started to fight. Last time it went down I got into an argument with a beer pong table in Polish. Devil Springs Vodka.

It was surprising to some people that I was fairly familiar with some of the Russian Gangs- for an American anyways. I didn't know who I'd marry into, Vegas odds had them bouncing before the contract closed. They weren't exactly Space Nerds. And like I said, we fight. We're competitive in the most fucked up ways because we can't really communicate. I move arms, they move coke, I harass the English, they harass the English. It's all very complicated.

Either way, I was having my fun with my dear sweet Canadian relatives (mostly presumed dead by now according to all), by being loudly engaged (to the psychic community). They really did have horrid habits, as a culture. Like inviting themselves to your wedding (wonder of wonders I did *not* get married to him). I had about twenty years of horror and mistreatment to extract from them from far, far away in the lovely Virginia. They'd tried to ride my coattails into England and the Upper Class.

And I was very quietly making time with Domhnal. He was a twitchy guy, with his hat set wrong and no sense of humor. But he could find a story in the dark, and had extremely good taste in jewelry, jobs, and vices. And I needed the work and the armor. Most of my Army contacts were dead or we were politely pretending we'd never met. The only one I missed was Jed, and he'd tried to do me more than once or twice. Rumor had him drowning while he tried to swim to Canada to off the evil Canucks once and for all. I had nothing to do with that watery epitaph.

So I hid under his quirky charm, his odd habits, and his rakish demeanor, and healed. I'd starting charting out Quantum Theory on the far wall again, but he didn't mind, just asked the occasional question, clever, but not intelligent. It happens. And it helps. It lets me think outside and gives me someone normalish to sound some of the weirder parts of Plank's Constant off of. It does funny things during Quantum Travel, they were having a hell of a time getting it to create a consistent pattern so they could use it for messaging. You could bolster it with story tropes, and anchor with consensual reality, but that seemed like a hell of a lot of risk for a message. I mean, we had email.

There was no way they were going to jump the deformities that would arise if they moved beyond the planned Space Station with a Heisenburg Drive. Still, the excitement was driving funding, and giving us something to think about besides carnage and mass burials. Disappearances and threats. Danger that you could feel on your skin. Dove ran his hand up the back of my neck and I leaned back. I spaced out sometimes, thinking and processing, but I was staring at a massive series of concept diagrams strung together with the cliched threads and pushpins, so I never looked that abnormal. Just exhausted. He wrapped his arms around me and I could cry.

I love sleeping alone. I use the whole bed. But I'm little, and I get cold easy. He made a great heat sink. I was staring at the upper left section of my main diagram and he made a small inquiring noise that you only make when you're completely comfortable around a person you care for. Or if you're a whore. I had to remind myself sometimes.

"Canadians were traders before we got them into the Program." Domhnal laughed softly and I smiled. They'd never thank us for it. There was a ridiculous amount of in fighting as people all over the world made a power grab. The BRIC countries were emerging just as the Papacy changed hands, and it was too much of a strain on the world, with the amount of civil unrest in the Middle East. The whole thing went.

"Now they know when we fight, even against each other, it's to learn," I pulled away and traced the storylines with one finger, illustrating as I spoke. It's the reason I used diagrams. A picture might be worth a thousand words, a diagram was worth even more. I was able to speak to people, and in moments when I might otherwise not, because I used charts. It was unprecedented for a woman, the closest we had was Angela Merkel's democratic rule of Germany, and she tended to use body language. Not that I didn't, in between shoving my soap box behind the pulpit. I just note when I'm that different. There was a lot of identity theft during the Psychic Wars. (Seriously, you hadn't thought of that?)

"But this whole bit-" I gestured against my notes on Canadian Quantum Theory, which involved a LOT on consensual reality and far less on cost benefit analyses on sink holes at formulae crossovers (except to note them as attack points) "- is mucking up the works. They're slowing down the ability to create a Heisenberg drive, and Lord knows we don't need anyone screwing with that right now, but they're causing more casualties than they're saving by turning data waystations into launching points."

Dove made a non-committal grunt. His Da was Air Force, mind was Army, so we rarely agreed, but he understood basic combat theories. One of the reasons military brats never get along in school. I smiled at him and he pulled me back in.

"What's America's stance on that?" He asked.

"America doesn't have one," I replied succinctly, "They don't see the problems in terms of social implications, even with physical manifestations, or fiscal ones. Which is weird for us, but not so weird. Getting John to Jericho has always been a bitch for us."

Dom nodded, and I sighed. I'd mixed metaphors, as I often do when speaking about my own country. I didn't want people to be able to explain what I'd just said, they tended to spend days whittling down a negative mould to cast it in before sending out some fairly nasty rumours. I was independent for a reason, I didn't have to agree with my country, and I was more powerful than the vast majority of her men. It was a strangely tenuous position, socially. It's why I focused on England, they found that sort of thing so normal it was referred to as entertainment.

To set his understanding I wrote 'English Interchange' on a slip of paper and pushpinned it into the wall on the right side of the main storyline nexus, past all of the agreement and so on. He frowned, but I don't think he realized he was doing it. Technically the British weren't sovereign to Canadians, their country was, but they were technically all citizens under a monarchy. Functionally they had a 52 country empire and they were more than just its flagship. They knew trouble when they saw it. I had to get the rest of the package and get it to the Nobles.

They might seem like a satellite power to most of the world, but they functioned socially, in a remarkably similar manner to the Upper Class in any large alliance or empire. Someday they'd get around to noticing that we had 52 countries as well and listen a little more. Until then well, we were Americans, we'd hold and just keep sending. It wasn't as though we couldn't take care of ourselves, we just hated when we got hit with the spray from other people's chamberpots.

I sighed, memories flashing along the crosspoints of the threads connecting the pushpins on the wall. It was the downside to remembering things socially, and thinking of them in terms of stories, and public opinion. You remembered. Screaming fury as I laid out marks past the line of bodies that would become my family. Singing pride as I finally marked the man who had been shutting down Army girls through the books we read for 16 years, a whole generation lost. Regret, loss, betrayal, pain.

Pain. I stretched my hand back over my shoulder and rubbed Dove's neck. He didn't think about things the way I did- his body asked a question and mine apparently gave him a definitive answer. He just held me as I pieced it all together so that it could be memorized and recited, in empath, an almost untrackable communication. Humming softly, he rocked me back and forth as I prepped everything a committed it for recall.

📷

Previously in the Psychic Wars...

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