#fuck the changes to Caleb's characterization and his backstory

[cadykeus-clay]

Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?

so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld

I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:

1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.

but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was. 

With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.

2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad. 

And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments). 

With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally. 

3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120)  if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance. 

Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type. 

Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.

4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.

5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't. 

And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.

Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.

And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and  and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.

so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold.  but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.

[illegiblewords]

Critical Role Campaign 2: The Shipping Question

24 episodes in, I am starting to get some actual opinions on ships. As opposed to casual, on-the-fly opinions on ships subject to weekly changes. I have no idea if anybody shares these opinions or not, from basic search experiences I think they might be weird. Open invitation to discuss.

Jester/Caleb: At this point I ship it, partly because having gotten varying senses of various character backstories, motives, and dynamics I think this would be really interesting. I think Jester has sincerely been crushing on Fjord from the beginning, but Fjord whether he returns her feelings or not has been kind of ???? about his reactions at times. Jester’s first opinion of Caleb was that he is stinky and needs to take a bath. They’ve had arguments and made up, they’ve confided different things in each other, they had the waltz, they’ve had stupid moments with Caleb playing dead while Jester DDDDD’8′d over him. Caleb seems very much not the kind of man Jester would have seen with her mother, from his status to his awkwardness to his vulnerability. The Ruby of the Sea is not where you take your raw-wound psychological problems, she’s the high class hooker you see because you have an overwhelming love of hookers. I think it would honestly be interesting and show development if Jester started off like <333333 Fjord, who fits more with her ideal concept of a man, but ended up falling for Caleb without meaning to at all or even quite seeing it coming. I think it might be interesting and confusing for Caleb too, who is entirely too worldly in all the worst ways, ending up crushing on someone who seems very innocent but knows a hell of a lot in certain areas and is harder to phase than most. Also honestly, consider whether Caleb would ever consider himself as having any possibility of being picked over Fjord. Guy fucking hates himself, Fjord is gorgeous, Jester has flirted with Fjord openly. It’s kind of been taken for granted both in-game and out of game (given I mean Laura and Travis are married and Travis had some shipping pre-game) that Fjord/Jester would happen. IMO a twist could get really interesting and add a lot of dramatic tension in a constructive, character-depth promoting way.

Caleb/Astrid: I bet Astrid murdered her parents and is still all up in Trent’s business. This is going nowhere good.

Jester/Fjord:  Copypasting what I said before because if anything I think it even more now. “Basically, I think Fjord and Molly’s rapport feels much more fluid and like Molly is better equipped to shrug off the moments with Fjord acting abrasive. Fjord has shown hints of a personal darkness that I think is different from Caleb’s personal darkness (disclaimer I like both characters), by that I mean points where he shuts down other characters and puts them at a distance. He did it with Molly when he asked Molly something to the effect of whether Molly’s past was going to be problems for him (Molly) or for the group, Molly said at this point what’s the difference, and Fjord commented that one is Molly while the other is the group. Isolation “we’re not the circus” stuff, I don’t think it was malicious but I think it comes from a dark place. I’ve also noticed Fjord sometimes shutting Jester’s flirting down in a similarish way, which again I think is fine characterization, but it makes me leery. I think any ship Fjord entered that tendency is going to come up, but I think Molly is probably in a better place to navigate that.”

Fjord is still hiding a fuckton from the entire group, still is warm/cold with the entire group, and I think there is potential he could hurt or scare Jester in a really not fun way. Jester seems like she has an idealized Fjord in her head through all of their interactions and is more into the idea of him than anything. I personally don’t know that she’d be equipped for the reality.

Molly/Fjord: I think Fjord might actually be a Deep Scion, and I think he’s gonna turn out real twisted in a way where his memories might actually be fake or some crap in which case there’d be a lot of poetry with him and Molly. I also think Molly has considered Fjord an option so far while Fjord hasn’t entirely realized Molly is one, but Fjord has been more open, honest, and ultimately trusting of Molly even when Molly tried and failed to cast a spell on him. Like I said above, I think Molly might be more able to handle Fjord’s fjuckery too and just plain knows who he is better. It might be interesting to see Fjord go out on a limb and try something where he feels a little caught off-guard and unprepared too.

Beau/Yasha: I think Beau has been coming to care and worry about Yasha sincerely versus just thinking she’s hot (she got real worried about Trent knowing about her) but I still don’t know where Yasha stands tbh. I legit have no idea if it’s reciprocated or not, and there is a chance Beau could have her heart broken. It could still be interesting from a storytelling perspective, sometimes crushes aren’t reciprocated and it sucks but you can still get a close friend out of it. If Beau/Yasha doesn’t happen I’d like to see Beau find another girl at least. I thought her dynamic with her teacher was kind of interesting before (disclaimer: I am horrible at remembering names) and I could see something neat coming up with an NPC.

Nott/Yeza: Idk if people are gonna get mad at me for saying this but I honestly think Nott is straight. Like possibly even straight to the point that she hasn’t fully realized gay as an option people can do. I don’t think Sam is doing personal opinion shit when he has Nott mention stuff like “X guys X girls do the math” and has other moments of assuming straight. I think that’s specifically Nott as a character having very limited experience with any kind of concept of romance, but the concept of romance she does have is hetero. I’d be able to believe ace for her too if it’s framed as she has no concept of romance in personal experience and is building any commentary/opinion she has around hypotheticals, but honestly idk man. To me it reads like she might be someone who is just coming to terms with having feelings and hasn’t quite figured out other people having different feelings yet. I don’t think she has an issue with non-hetero relationships, it just reads to me like it doesn’t cross her mind as reflexively. I’d be able to believe she has feelings for Yeza, but I’d believe it if she didn’t have feelings for him too. I don’t think she has romantic feelings for other members of the Mighty Nein, at least currently.

Again, feel free to discuss and if you think I missed something honestly it would be cool to hear in on that. I do miss things and misread things sometimes haha. Also I don’t mean any of this to vilify other people’s ships or headcanons! I just like analyzing things and trying to make predictions or see what might be interesting.

[gffa]

Holy hell, STAR WARS tumblr has been on fire these last couple of weeks! So many people posting so many cool snippets and AUs and feelings-laden fics! In addition to some really stellar AUs on AO3, it’s like an absolute candy store around here these days. ♥ STAR WARS FIC RECS: ✦ time to change the road you’re on by wreckageofstars, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cast, 24.3k wip    The end of the Clone War is near - the fall of the Republic even nearer. Anakin Skywalker, caught up in the events that lead to the rise of the Empire and the loss of everything he holds dear, finds himself sent nearly two decades into the future. ✦ Home Again by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, light kink, 1.7k    When Anakin’s emotions overwhelm him, Obi-Wan is always there with a firm hand and clear eye to help him find his way back from the dark. ✦ Finally Home by starbirdrampant (ineasako22), obi-wan/anakin/padme & luke & leia, ~1k    “send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i would write to go with it” tumblr prompt ✦ Of Beds and Padawans by Vee017, obi-wan/anakin, 1.3k    A one sided pseudo discussion of nightly habits goes awry as Anakin takes ObiWan’s meaning in a completely different direction than intended. ✦ Where Have We Come? by soaring_heart, obi-wan & anakin, 1.9k    The first time was one of the hardest and the easiest. Obi-Wan loses at Mustafar, but instead of dying he wakes up at the dawn of the last day of the republic, doomed to repeat the worst day of his life, over and over again. ✦ Tumblr Ramblings (Obi-Wan Time Travel/AU-jump) by gaealynn, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast,    At the end of RotJ, Obi-Wan reaches out a hand to help Anakin cross over and instead – wakes up on Naboo. ✦ Falls the Shadow, part 1 + part 2 by phosphorescent-naidheachd, obi-wan & padme & luke & leia (& anakin), 2.8k wip    Under the auspices of JEDI GENERALS ANAKIN SKYWALKER and OBI-WAN KENOBI, an elite strike team was smuggled onto the planet in carbonite. But when the slab of carbonite containing OBI-WAN KENOBI was lost before he could be defrosted, the team was forced to prioritize… and to leave him behind to an unknown fate. ✦ Cold Comforts by Sealgirl, obi-wan & mace, ~1k    Not long after he becomes a Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi finds himself in need of reassurance. ✦ untitled by spectral-musette, obi-wan & ahsoka & caleb, 1.3k    A short scene set in the slightly-less-sadness-AU (in which Obi-Wan finds Ahsoka Tano and Caleb Dume after Order 66, and the surviving Jedi stay together). Obi-Wan is exhausted, Ahsoka is restless, and Caleb misses his Master. ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, anakin & palpatine, 1.3k    “Ah, Anakin, my boy. Welcome!” Palpatine comes toward Anakin with open arms. ✦ untitled by bedlamsbard, obi-wan & anakin/padme, 4.1k    For those just joining us, this is the concept work for the third alternate universe in the Ouroboros series, which is an AU where Dooku kills Palpatine and takes over the Republic, declaring himself emperor. ✦ i hold with those who favor fire by penultimatepanic, mace, 1.3k wip    Mace thought the sight of the Temple would test his tenuous control over his anger all over again, but, as he sits in the shadow of an abandoned repair shop’s roof and looks at the smoking hulk of it, the only feeling he can identify is a deep weariness. ✦ untitled + untitled by bedlamsbard, obi-wan/padme(/anakin?), NSFW, dark!obi-wan, 5.7k    Backstory: The Republic has fallen. The Jedi Order is broken, its surviving Knights and padawans scattered across the galaxy. The Sith lord Count Dooku has declared himself the leader of a new Galactic Empire. ✦ Everything That Rises Must Converge by victoria_p (musesfool), obi-wan & anakin & luke & leia, 5.1k    In which Leia makes it to Tatooine’s surface after the Tantive IV is boarded, and nobody is prepared for this particular family reunion. full details + recs under the cut!

✦ time to change the road you’re on by wreckageofstars, obi-wan & anakin & ahsoka & cast, 24.3k wip    The end of the Clone War is near - the fall of the Republic even nearer. Anakin Skywalker, caught up in the events that lead to the rise of the Empire and the loss of everything he holds dear, finds himself sent nearly two decades into the future.    Chapter 5: This is an update rec and will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. Oh, I read this entire chapter with a heavy feeling in my chest, in exactly the way the fic was supposed to give me, that it lived up to the potential of it in all the ways I was hoping it would. Ahsoka and Anakin have found Obi-Wan on Tatooine and the entire chapter is about trying to piece together what happened, along with just how much it weighed on Obi-Wan, just how much of him died back on Mustafar. The little touches, the way Anakin is so on edge here, but then flings himself at Obi-Wan to cry on him, the way Obi-Wan brushes Anakin’s hair out of his face when he’s sleeping, the way every word about what he knows feels like it’s a heavy stone being dragged up a mountain, all of it made me feel that sheer weight of feeling, how much love and care there was there and how much it hurt when things all went bad. It’s lovely writing and does so much justice to these characters and events and the Ahsoka pov is used so well to show how worn down this version of the man she used to know is, how different Ben Kenobi is from Obi-Wan Kenobi. There’s so much hurt and anger and exhaustion here, in all the right places and it’s so good. ✦ Home Again by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, light kink, 1.7k    When Anakin’s emotions overwhelm him, Obi-Wan is always there with a firm hand and clear eye to help him find his way back from the dark.    Holy hell, this fic was made for me, but also it’s just incredibly lovely and perfect. It’s set in a relationship between them that is dom/sub, in a way that benefits Anakin so much, you can feel even in a pwp fic that Anakin has all this noise in his head and the way Obi-Wan takes him in hand cuts through that and clears it away. I would have loved it just for that. I would have loved it just for the delicious and well-described sex, the light kink and the spanking and then the fucking, it has some really beautiful imagery here! But I think my very favorite thing (if just barely, because I have many favorite things about this fic) is the tension the author builds up–the way Obi-Wan seems like he’s ignoring Anakin, but you feel how much his attention very much is on Anakin, the way he gives Anakin an order, who doesn’t quite know what’s coming, that tension that nearly boils over in him before Obi-Wan cuts through it. The build-up had me feeling wound up, so that the release was even better, making this a really satisfying and well-written fic! ✦ Finally Home by starbirdrampant (ineasako22), obi-wan/anakin/padme & luke & leia, ~1k    “send me a made-up fic title and i’ll tell you what i would write to go with it” tumblr prompt    This is super short, it’s just a snippet, but oh man it’s lovely and it’s exactly what I want from dometic, sleepy Obianidala. With Anakin sandwiched between his two favorite people, the three of them curled up together on a tired but content morning, until they’re woken up by the screams of two tiny little terrors and it’s PURE ADORABLE. Cuddles and kidlets, Obi-Wan pressed against Anakin’s back, who is pressed against Padme, until the children clamor in between them and it’s just everything my gross domesticity loving heart wants. ✦ Of Beds and Padawans by Vee017, obi-wan/anakin, 1.3k    A one sided pseudo discussion of nightly habits goes awry as Anakin takes ObiWan’s meaning in a completely different direction than intended.    I am always here for bed sharing, especially where Anakin just crawls into the bed and kind of flops there and is unfairly beautiful just by being Anakin. This is cute and entirely fluffy and soft and adorable and made me feel all warm while reading it, which I need in this fandom sometimes! ✦ Where Have We Come? by soaring_heart, obi-wan & anakin, 1.9k    The first time was one of the hardest and the easiest. Obi-Wan loses at Mustafar, but instead of dying he wakes up at the dawn of the last day of the republic, doomed to repeat the worst day of his life, over and over again.    I’ll warn ahead of time that this fic isn’t about resolution, but instead about the repetition of Obi-Wan caught in a time loop, trying to figure out how to stop it, how to solve things, and how to save Anakin. It’s a fic that really is about those two at the heart of it, that Obi-Wan has to live this day over and over, that he tries so many things to save Anakin, to understand him, to help him, to just steal him away, to die with him, to be caught up with him. It’s a bittersweet, ouchy fic, it never stops hurting, how deeply Obi-Wan loves him and how many tragic turns their lives take in these moments, how many different ways things can go wrong or just not quite right. And that’s what really works for me here, even if it’s not really solved, the foundation is there, the love between them is there, the sheer amount of how important Anakin is in Obi-Wan’s life and vice versa is there. ✦ Tumblr Ramblings (Obi-Wan Time Travel/AU-jump) by gaealynn, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast,    At the end of RotJ, Obi-Wan reaches out a hand to help Anakin cross over and instead – wakes up on Naboo.    I am always willing to pick up a time travel fic, especially if it’s Obi-Wan time travelling, so I enjoyed this half-fic, half-scenario piece just for those things! And I love that this is an Obi-Wan who has suffered through so many terrible losses, the weight of that isn’t gone, but he’s still that guy who keeps getting up again, who doesn’t know how to surrender when something like this is put in front of him. And, oh, there’s a scene in the second chapter where he meets bb!Anakin again, where he knows there will be hope now, and there’s cuddling and, oh, it’s Anakin and just. I had feelings all over the place during that scene alone! ✦ Falls the Shadow, part 1 + part 2 by phosphorescent-naidheachd, obi-wan & padme & luke & leia (& anakin), 2.8k wip    Under the auspices of JEDI GENERALS ANAKIN SKYWALKER and OBI-WAN KENOBI, an elite strike team was smuggled onto the planet in carbonite. But when the slab of carbonite containing OBI-WAN KENOBI was lost before he could be defrosted, the team was forced to prioritize… and to leave him behind to an unknown fate.    This is such an interesting AU and it has me hooked in under 3k already! On that mission with the carbon freezing, Obi-Wan is lost and it sends things careening out of control in a different way, because Anakin kind of loses his shit about it. And Obi-Wan wakes up to this galaxy that’s entirely different and, oh, I’m fascinated by all the changes this would mean–not directly witnessing Vader’s crimes, not fighting him on Mustafar, not having the horrible burden of everything he had after ROTS, waking up to Padme still alive, waking up to the twins being these bright little sparks, waking up to Anakin suddenly being gone. The writing builds all of this up nicely, you get a nice amount of the good stuff already, even though OH MAN I WANT SO MUCH MORE, I want so much the second part of that conversation with Padme or just Obi-Wan’s reactions or just anything more from this one! ✦ Cold Comforts by Sealgirl, obi-wan & mace, ~1k    Not long after he becomes a Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi finds himself in need of reassurance.    This was short but it was absolutely lovely and a really solidly good read about Mace Windu supporting Obi-Wan in a Jedi-like way, but being just what Obi-Wan needs to hear at the moment. I love the potential with this dynamic and these two characters, so it’s nice to see a solid and well-done little fic that’s about this one moment that means so much to both characterizations! ✦ untitled by spectral-musette, obi-wan & ahsoka & caleb, 1.3k    A short scene set in the slightly-less-sadness-AU (in which Obi-Wan finds Ahsoka Tano and Caleb Dume after Order 66, and the surviving Jedi stay together). Obi-Wan is exhausted, Ahsoka is restless, and Caleb misses his Master.    In a universe that’s slightly less sad, where Ahsoka and Caleb Dume are there with Obi-Wan, where they do at least have each other, it still strikes against just how much they’ve lost. There’s hope still here, there’s some bittersweetness, but each of them has lost so much, each of them is word down and wounded at heart, even as they dust themselves off and keep going. It’s short but a really interesting little AU snippet that I’d love more of, but also stands well on its own! ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, anakin & palpatine, 1.3k    “Ah, Anakin, my boy. Welcome!” Palpatine comes toward Anakin with open arms.    I should probably start collating these recs together but, eh, I don’t care, this AU is one of my happy places and I love seeing it update whenever the author gets a chance to. And I greatly enjoy how much Palpatine haaaaaates Obi-Wan for fucking up all his plans in this AU, which is already an echo of canon, where… one of the things I love so much is that I feel like this is a really good fic series for showing how things could have gone better, if only things had been nudged in the right direction, that they weren’t doomed to tragedy from the start. And seeing Palpatine’s plans fizzle out in front of him and how he makes more to keep up, the audience knowing that they’ll probably blow up in his face as well, is really, really satisfying and fun. ✦ untitled by bedlamsbard, obi-wan & anakin/padme, 4.1k    For those just joining us, this is the concept work for the third alternate universe in the Ouroboros series, which is an AU where Dooku kills Palpatine and takes over the Republic, declaring himself emperor.    You’ll probably definitely be lost if you haven’t read at least the first fic of the Ouroboros series, though, you can gather a lot from context if you really want! And this is lovely where… it’s an Anakin/Padme scene, but it’s very much about the trio with Obi-Wan, it’s very much about Anakin’s desperate love for both of them, as seen through Padme’s eyes. It’s leaning towards a trio, but Anakin is definitely the center (as is the way I would see it going, because he’s just so… Anakin is so intense, he’s so bright, he burns so hotly, that he kind of overtakes the emotional aspect of any scene), but it doesn’t feel unbalanced, either. I’m not explaining it well, but I really enjoyed that feeling of something weighing on me, that genuine sense of tension I feel with the characters as they try to figure out what to do and how desperately Anakin wants to see Obi-Wan again, how desperately he wants to keep Padme safe, and just what a giant ball of feelings he is. As Anakin Skywalker should always be. ✦ i hold with those who favor fire by penultimatepanic, mace, 1.3k wip    Mace thought the sight of the Temple would test his tenuous control over his anger all over again, but, as he sits in the shadow of an abandoned repair shop’s roof and looks at the smoking hulk of it, the only feeling he can identify is a deep weariness.    Part 2: This is an update rec and will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. I’m so glad this fic updated because I have a growing appreciate for Mace’s character, as well as it’s just really intriguing and heartbreaking in all the right ways. This is more of a reflecting kind of chapter, it’s very muted or understated, it’s about Mace having the space to breathe for a bit and try to take in everything that’s happened after Order 66 and to try to begin to marshal himself, and it’s just… really sad and heavy and full of so much loss, in that quiet, reserved way that suits the character so well. ✦ untitled + untitled by bedlamsbard, obi-wan/padme(/anakin?), NSFW, dark!obi-wan, 5.7k    Backstory: The Republic has fallen. The Jedi Order is broken, its surviving Knights and padawans scattered across the galaxy. The Sith lord Count Dooku has declared himself the leader of a new Galactic Empire.    I think you could read this one without being that familiar with the Ourboros series, the summary gives a solid background and you can pick up enough on context, and honestly it’s about Obi-Wan feeling out of his head and trying to remain isolated because he’s so dangerous like this, but also wanting contact with another human being. And he just can’t go near Anakin, he can’t risk that, Anakin is too precious and dear, you can just feel that about Obi-Wans feelings towards him, but Padme is gentle and solid without being too much, while still being warm and someone important. It’s just a really good balance between the two, but also oh man Obi-Wan going down on Padme and then fucking her over the desk, how it’s about these two characters in this moment, but also not, how it’s also about what thoughts of Anakin have stirred up, and I love how sharp and messy and dark Obi-Wan and Padme are here, it works so well for me and also it was just really, really hot. Padme pulling her massive skirts up and Obi-Wan licking her open and then wrapping herself around him as he desperately pushes into her, all rough edges and desperation and care between the two of them. So good for me. ✦ Everything That Rises Must Converge by victoria_p (musesfool), obi-wan & anakin & luke & leia, 5.1k    In which Leia makes it to Tatooine’s surface after the Tantive IV is boarded, and nobody is prepared for this particular family reunion.    This was an interesting, if surprisingly kind, AU where Leia makes it to Tatooine and Vader’s right on her heels and everything comes spilling out. I think my favorite part of it was the sheer weight of history between Obi-Wan and Anakin, but also I enjoyed that everything was just a lot softer and kinder here than in canon. Not entirely soft and kind, it’s still Star Wars, but the pull of family and old friends overwrote a lot of the anger and hate that had been stewing in these characters for so long. It was a fun little read that I enjoyed a lot!

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Current Critical Role Thoughts

Not going to under a cut because I don’t think it’s spoilers at this point?

- I am still low-commitment with any ships, rn though I’m actually a little less into Fjord/Jester, a little more into Fjord/Molly and Jester/Caleb. Anyone who’s seen my posts previously is gonna know I change where I stand week to week still haha, as long as whatever happens doesn’t feel forced idc at this stage. But my thinking right now is basically that I think Fjord and Molly’s rapport feels much more fluid and like Molly is better equipped to shrug off the moments with Fjord acting abrasive. Fjord has shown hints of a personal darkness that I think is different from Caleb’s personal darkness (disclaimer I like both characters), by that I mean points where he shuts down other characters and puts them at a distance. He did it with Molly when he asked Molly something to the effect of whether Molly’s past was going to be problems for him (Molly) or for the group, Molly said at this point what’s the difference, and Fjord commented that one is Molly while the other is the group. Isolation “we’re not the circus” stuff, I don’t think it was malicious but I think it comes from a dark place. I’ve also noticed Fjord sometimes shutting Jester’s flirting down in a similarish way, which again I think is fine characterization, but it makes me leery. I think any ship Fjord entered that tendency is going to come up, but I think Molly is probably in a better place to navigate that. With Jester and Caleb, I really like the bonding moments between the two, that they both have challenged each other and gotten under each other’s skin but come to a better place for it, that Jester has fun making Caleb blush like crazy with flirting, that Caleb has actually gone out of his way to take baths over Jester’s comments and all. I think it not being immediate also is interesting. I think Beau gotta be with a lady but I’m weirdly a bit more into her with the mentor chick than with Yasha at this stage. Gotta see more there.

- I do think Yasha fucked up some children from when she was a kid herself and I’m curious what Ashley has in store with her backstory.

-I do not trust Fjord one bit and I think Travis is hiding some seriously dark, fucked up shit with him. I am 100% there for that, I’m mainly suspicious Fjord sold his entire ship to the Kraken as his warlock pact.

- I like Nott a lot, but oh my lord I think she has some intense capacity for manipulation going on rn. I don’t think it’s lying outright or charisma since hers is low af but I do think she has potential to play off of people’s assumptions and expectations then rip the rug out from under them. I don’t think it’s something she set out to do, but I do think it’s something where since it’s happening she has potential to use it. And I’m veeeeery aware of that high intelligence stat, plus the insane $$$ she carrying, and her sending stuff to an unknown location.

- I think what Beau does with her mentor’s comments on not sympathizing with Xorhas or treating them like people is going to be very interesting.

- S E D U C E THE GENTLEMAN. HAVE HIM FOR BREAKFAST SOMETIME.

- Idk I’ll have more comments another time maybe. Right now this is still just spitballing. Mainly I’m still watching and just absorbing info rn.