#fuck it up ares

[lidera-aro]

How I thought Odypen was before I listened to Ithaca saga:

Odysseus: Would you love me if I was a worm?

Penelope: *fond, exasperated sigh and eyeroll* Yes, love.

How I think they are after I listened Ithaca saga:

Odysseus: Would you love me if-

Penelope: Yes

Odysseus:

Peneleope: *looking him in the eyes* Yes.

[backpackingspace]

Okay so with the line "the olive tree where we first met" we have two equal hilarious options.

When penelope was sassily like oh I'll marry you if you make a living bed out of this tree right here! Cue penelope stumbling over odysseus very very carefully digging up the tree "because how else is he going to get it to itacha we can't have a wedding bed out in the open in sparta duh"

Or

2. Penelope, knowing that Helen's suitors would soon be arriving to take over her home for a while. Snuck out and went on her own wacky shenanigan filled journey where she scoped out all the major players. Odysseus caught her spying in an olive tree. And when she got back she told Helen she had dibs on the cutie from itacha.

[bitegore]

Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.

Don't do their work for them.

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷

Atlas: I told you, it was important-

Dan: Important enough to ignore my phone call THREE times. That’s fucking embarrassing! Do I look like a joke to you?? 

Atlas: PFFT imagine being desperate. That IS embarrassing!

Dan: Shut up! Where were you?!

Atlas: Ok come on now, you just told me to not talk. What do you want??

Dan: Answer the question!

Atlas: [ stifled laugh ] I dunno. Where was I?

Dan: Motherfucker!

Atlas: It was a dude this time.

Dan: You’re such a-

Ares: Dan?

Atlas: AH-

Dan: DUDE! Dude. Duuude.

Ares: Dude?

Dan: You guys were amazing! How have I not seen you sooner?

Atlas: World’s worst groupie.

Dan: I’ll push you into the lake. 

Ares: And if he can’t swim?

Atlas: Yeah, what then??

Dan: Then you’re an accomplice to murder.

Ares: Okayy-uh. Let’s not do that. So. You guys wanna join us? We’re gonna get a couple of drinks.

Atlas: Oh my god, you guys are gonna buy me a drink? You shouldn’t have.

Dan: Pretend like he isn’t here.

Ares: I’m sorry, pretend who isn’t here?

Dan: Exactly.

Atlas: HAH!

-

Dan: Icarus, this is Atlas, Frances’s brother.

Icarus: Holy shit, she’s only ever mentioned you once. I was starting to think you weren’t real.

Atlas: Sounds accurate.

Dan: [ mouths ] Don’t.

Icarus: I only meant- Uhm, they were pretty private about their personal life but I see the resemblance. 

Atlas: Cool. So how do you know ‘em?

Icarus: I was their boss and… Uh.

Dan: They kissed. 

Icarus: Holy shit that sounds problematic.

Atlas: Incredibly but who am I to judge? Congrats to you both.

Icarus: We aren’t together. Uh, life got in the way.

Atlas: [ huffs ] You sure it just wasn’t you?

Icarus: What do you mean by that?

Dan: [ whispers ] Come on.

Atlas: There’s always long distance, no? 

Icarus: It’s not that simple.

Atlas: Oh please. You’re overcomplicating it.

Icarus: Am not.

-

Ares: Where are we going?

Dan: Away from all the noise.

-

Atlas: Hm.

Icarus: What are we- What are we doing here?

Atlas: I’m just curious.

Icarus: You mean nosy.

-

Ares: You know it’s closed, right?

Dan: Mhm, and I know you have the keys.

Ares: Smart girl.

-

Atlas: A few simple questions really. Besides, you answered.

Icarus: You asked. 

Atlas: [ snorts ]

Icarus: What?

Atlas: Look. All I’m trying to say Icarus is sometimes we’re the obstacle.

[arowithanotp]

thinking about how in God Games ares is the only god whose argument athena doesn't refute

Apollo: the sirens were trying to kill him first now they'll be cautious

Hephaestus: well the crew were a bunch of idiots

Aphrodite: a broken heart can mend

Hera: he's never cheated on his wife

meanwhile ares says odysseus is a coward who should've fought scylla head on instead of sacrificing his men. The only part of his argument athena counters is him calling telemachus pathetic and weak. All athena says in favor of odysseus is that if ares wants to see violence he should let him go. She never denies that odysseus messed up by feeding his men to scylla only implies that he learned his lesson

[lazy--lillies]

Sorry but Piper’s parallels to Helen of Troy (/Sparta - using the book for her ref rn) should’ve been played up WAY more. Like sure, she has her knife and charmspeak and that’s nice, but like?????

The sheer amount of stuff Rick could’ve gotten out of that parallel too if he made her a lesbian UGHHHH. Make her the most beautiful child of Aphrodite that’s ever been seen in Camp Half Blood. Make her get people to question their eyes when they see her, get people feeling UNCOMFORTABLE with how gorgeous she is. Parallel her relationship with Jason being forced to Helen and Paris being placed under a spell by Aphrodite, make that part of their relationship RELEVANT TO THE PLOT. Make her a lesbian on purpose and actually write some good conflict!!!!!!!!! The pieces were all there and he refused to put them together!!!

And like if he hadn’t fucked up her writing so bad in canon I wouldn’t be so upset but like GODDDD

In conclusion rip Piper Mclean you would’ve love Chappell Roan

[yourlokalescholar]

Aphrodite and her cringefail loser boyfriend (whom she loves very dearly) (but seriously for a god of war he gets beaten up a LOT and it can kill the mood sometimes)

Bonus doodle:

He lets her do his hair :3

[buttered-toasty]

Forging of the Ring/The Proposal/Reflections of Self

.

.

Till death do us part? You’re not getting out of this that easily.

And with that I think I’m done with my little marriage series (as I have been calling my bigger Sauron pieces)! I will post them all together sometime. Happy Halloween and remember not to separate out parts of your soul for the making of cursed jewelry!

Bonus thing with some extra portraiture under the cut, idk

[periodcostumefantasylover]

Immortals 2011

[yanderefarm]

Sorry I should have specified the bullying

🐀

cw;; nsft, abuse, dark content, dead dove do not eat

i was actually looking at Puppies and Kitties earlier and thinking of ares and nephite so that definitely inspired this.

imagine being a cruel husband to ares, he wants to be the perfect wife after all. if he doesn't have dinner ready when you get home slap him and spit in his mouth. that's the closest he's getting to a kiss from you tonight and he just has to say thank you because it's his fault for failing as a wife. if the house isn't perfectly clean hold his head into the dust and make him lick it up, he'll reluctantly give in for the slightest hope that you might reward him with affection. you laugh at him, you're not even gonna grace that disgusting mouth of his with your dick let alone a kiss.

imagine his body being free use. it doesn't matter where you are or if he's busy he has no right to complain or deny you. you're out shopping together? go to an alley and fuck his throat like a gutter whore. you're home from work? he's not allowed to wear clothes so you can easily pound his ass whenever you want. he's visiting you at work? he's lucky you don't just pull out his tits right there but you'll wait until he goes to the bathroom like a gentleman.

it's not just that you don't care about his pleasure you refuse to let him have it. he has to keep his cock locked up at all times because a beautiful wife doesn't have an ugly leaking dick. he wants to cum he's gonna learn to cum like a woman. he'll sob and cry about how it hurts but just slap him. a good woman and a loving wife puts his husband's pleasure first and he has to learn that the hard way.

after you've left him bruised and crying his body trembling in fear and cum leaking down his legs give him a rough kiss and tell him you love him so much. he was such a good wife! so good for you! watch his stupid brain completely forget all the abuse and his eyes sparkle as he says he loves you back. poor wife is just stupid and broken.

[robynator]

re-read some of the scenes in russian roulette and i have to say, i find it hilarious how much of a hypocrite john rider is

john to yassen: forget about your grandfather, family is a weakness that can be used against you by your enemies. oh you're carrying a watch that used to belong to him because it reminds you of home? weak. get rid of it.

also john to yassen: i've been married for three years and have a kid on the way. yes, i am wearing my wedding ring in your presence, despite the fact that you are a baby assassin in the making and i keep telling you that sentimentality is a weakness. and now i am going to meet up with someone that is definitely not my wife, but don't tell rothman, ok? i'm not supposed to do that on a mission so this is super secret

john to yassen: assassins do not have preferences. your preferences can get you killed and if you make a habit of ordering the same food or drink at any place, that can be used to find you

also john: *orders grenadine on every possible occasion & has a habit of drinking his special whiskey after a successful kill*

dude really said ”do as i say, not as i do”, while never acknowledging that he went against his own teachings in the first place, all the while gaslighting yassen with the whole ”i am not advising you to leave scorpia, i just don't think that you are cut out for this line of work, but of course the last thing i want to do is dissuade you, i'm just saying that you can leave not that you should” thing. he is SUCH a manipulative bastard i love him

[sableunavailable]

Monstrous Greek gods are like cocaine for me

[aleksiej]

i need everyone who doesn't understand basic principles of being an anarchist/punk and unwilling to learn about them to GET AWAY FROM HOBBIE BROWN NOW

[lem0nfr0g]

Totally not procrastinating on my art school assignments…. anyways here’s Kevin Flynn

[batcavescolony]

a MCU/Percy Jackson crossover with Bucky Barnes as a demigod. Ik your already thinking, he's a soldier so Ares obviously but he's actually a child of Aphrodite. Reasoning: before the war and when he's healed he is dressed very well. He wasn't really into war. he's never really fighting for the fight, he's fighting for someone or because he has to. He was forced to be a soldier in both instances (drafted/brainwashed). Mcu Bucky doesn't give off Ares kid vibes. So Aphrodite kid.

[bugwolfsstuff]

You ever think of Hera preventing Zeus from saving his son Sarpedon from his fated death and Zeus mourning by sending blood rain in the Iliad

and then in ToA

Zeus preventing everyone from saving his son and Hera/Juno's champion, Jason Grace from his fated death and Hera mourning by wearing a veil and scolding Zeus

@thel1ghtningthief @smileyalater @unubinary @bodeyeen2132