#fuck i have to write this

[djarinova]

╰─▸ ❝ jean kirstein ❞ ˋ*ੈ*⁀➷

content - dad jean, shy jean, cheating, divorce, jean has an ex wife, x f reader

I watched a movie last night and now all I can think about is single dad!jean who is just getting over his messy divorce. he's got a wonderful daughter who means the world to him, and he does everything he can to keep her safe and happy, and even though it's hard for him, he still makes sure she sees her mother as regularly as possible—even though it causes him massive amounts of pain to see how happy and carefree his ex wife is with her new partner.

best friend connie who keeps begging jean to go out to a bar for a couple drinks with him. he asks every single friday (and saturday), and jean is always adamant that he's just not ready to get back out there and start dating. but one night he finally caves and says yes, his daughter is spending the night with her mother and he doesn't want to sit alone is his small, despressingly bare apartment by himself. so he dresses up as best he can and meets connie for a drink. and that's where he meets you for the first time.

you catch his eye as soon as you walk in the room, and he's not the only one who's watching you. he sees a couple of dudes try and buy you a drink, and you shoot them down before they've even had a chance to introduce themselves. connie catches jean staring and practically drags him towards you, pushing jean into the chair opposite you and leaving as soon as he's introduced jean to you.

jean completely fumbles the interaction, he tries to use numerous pick up lines on you—all which fail—and his compliments are completely over the top and it's clear he has no idea what he's doing. you try to excuse yourself, but he practically begs you not to leave. upon realising what a terrible flirter he is jean decides to tell the truth about his situation, rather than pretend to be a flirt and a ladies man. he tells you it's his first time trying to pick up someone in a bar, and that he's never been any good at flirting. he tells you all about his messy divorce, and how he was cheated on and that it basically wrecked his entire life—the only positive from his marriage being that he has the most amazing daughter in the world. he tells you that he hasn't been on any kind of first date since he was 15 and that he has absolutely no idea how to approach a woman as beautiful as you.

you think his honesty is sweet, and that he's a much easier guy to talk to than anyone else in this stupid bar, so you ask him to take you home. he's embarrassed to take you to his apartment but you aren't paying the rooms or decor any notice. as soon as you get past the door your lips are attached to his neck, and you find out that although he cannot flirt for the life of him, he is an amazing kisser, and probably the most giving guy you've ever been with.

you leave the next morning, and he promises to call you. his heart hasn't felt as light as this since...he can't even remember. he thinks about you for days, but is so nervous to call you. all he can manage is sending a short text to you, saying [hi! hope you're doing well, thanks for the great night. I would love to see you again.] you smile when you receive it, but your job is so demanding that you don't get the chance to reply for a while and the text completely slips your mind as you prep for an important night of meetings.

jean doesn't feel good about how long it's been since he texted you, and he wants to see you again. soon. so he decides to call you after his daughter's parents teacher conference. he sits with his ex wife, awaiting their turn, outside of the classroom door. but when the teacher calls out to let them know that they can enter the classroom, he walks in and is met with the sight of you, standing behind the desk, arm extended ready to shake hands with the parents you'd just called in.

the woman he'd hooked up with from the bar was his daughter's teacher?

you sit in front of jean, utterly humiliated at the situation, and you watch as his face reddens when his ex wife notices the tension and begins to ask if the two of you had met before. you speak before jean can, and assure her that you've never met before, and that you're just feeling overwhelmed from all the parents you've met today. she seems to believe it, but when jean catches your eye and smiles uncharacteristically shyly, she feels a bubble of jealousy rise in her chest.

luckily the meeting goes without a hitch after that, their daughter is doing perfectly well in class, all she needs to do is try to participate in class discussions a bit more.

jean and his ex wife were your last meeting of the evening, and you watch as he hastily bids farewell to his ex, stumbling over his words and looking around nervously. you smile when he hangs around in the doorway after she's left, seemingly trying to find the courage to come and say something to you.

you finish collecting your things and walk towards jean, who's now pacing back and forth in the corridor. he jumps when he sees you, but smiles warmly at your presence. before you have the chance to say anything about how awkward that meeting was, words are tumbling from jeans mouth:

"im so sorry I haven't called you yet, I had absolutely no idea what to say to you and I didn't want to say the wrong thing and scare you off. which I now realise is stupid because you wouldn't have asked me to take you home if you didn't at least like me a little bit but I didn't want to come on too strong and—"

"jean, it's okay. just ask me to dinner."

"yeah? okay. will you have dinner with me...tomorrow?"

"yes, I'd love to have dinner with you."

the two of you walk out to the car park together, and jean opens your car door for you. he bids you goodbye, and tells you how much he's looking forward to dinner tomorrow. and you smile, a warm feeling blossoming in your chest as you reply that you can't wait to see him again.

tagging: @cowgirlikets (tysm for asking to be tagged !! love to u)

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[middle-earth-mythopoeia]

Uh, guys? Don't confuse your crappy televised fanfic for the story that Tolkien actually wrote.

Galadriel was never "under Sauron's thrall." That's something ROP made up. In Unfinished Tales, she was the only one in Eregion who suspected that Annatar was lying about being an emissary of the Valar. Celebrimbor was deceived by him. She was not. She was certainly not "under his thrall." No, not even because she had Nenya.

Yes, when Frodo offered her the One Ring, she was tempted. It could have given her the power to prevent the fading of Lothlórien. But when she makes this speech in the book, and in the Peter Jackson movies, it's her own thought, she's not repeating something that Sauron said to her once:

“You will give me the Ring freely! In place of the Dark Lord you will set up a Queen. And I shall not be dark, but beautiful and terrible as the Morning and the Night! Fair as the Sea and the Sun and the Snow upon the Mountain! Dreadful as the Storm and the Lightning! Stronger than the foundations of the earth. All shall love me and despair!”

These are Galadriel's words. Her words. Not Sauron's. And she was tempted by the One Ring because she could have been a more powerful queen, not Sauron's queen. Like, you guys really took one of the most powerful and complex female characters in Tolkien's works and you made her story all about a man and his power over her and his manipulation of her. Fuck off.

And stop tagging ROP as Lord of the Rings.

[heartorbit]

MWAH!

[velvetwyrme]

aHhh okay so the discussions of Titan!Megatron on @callsign-relic's blog have fully. FULLY taken over my brain and ive been drawing stuff for it for like the last few days nonstop

the tl;dr of this is AU is pretty much "what if Megatron got turned into a titan/cityformer as a form of penance/imprisonment and now roams the empty wasteland of Cybertron forever" plus "IDW Megatron has really fucked up internals so... what if that, but as a City?"

and of course since he's a Titan, that also means he has a cityspeaker... or three. One per sub-AU thing. Theres 3 options. 3 flavours of AU.

i have so much art to make. but in the meantime, for more info! check out the #titan au tag on Relic's blog :]!! (also uhh potential ns//fw warning for the link shfjbdkd)

Hi. My battery is running out once again so design and art notes get chucked here instead of an image.

The cuffs and collar are hardwired into Megatron, so I made the lights the same colour as his biolights!

I imagine that on the tops of his shoulders there are solar panels, even if you can't see them here lol.

I really wanted to keep the swirly bits on Megatron's chest from IDW

Other art notes:

The second picture with the seekers is (loosely) inspired by a discussion about whether or not Megatron gets visitors or not. I thought about who would visit him and well... I think this is as close as Starscream realistically gets to visiting him.

Extra detail about that piece is that Thundercracker and Skywarp are keeping watch from above! Also drawing Megatron took me like 8 hours because I was struggling with his legs really badly kshffkbfkdsbdk,, the background went much faster, funnily enough.

Optimus specifically isn't wearing his Autobot badge any more.

This isn't relevant in this series of images, but Ultra Magnus's eye markings are only on the Magnus armour. His other two forms do not have them :] (... until he begins to discard the armour, that is.)

Megatron is roughly 3200m/2 miles tall. Technically he could have clouds around his knees, but I thought this looked a little bit cooler lol.

Also, height chart! Him big. I didn't even attempt to put a human for scale because that'd be. near impossible with this scale.

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

Nsfw warning. Ford literally fucking bill under the cut. It's not like... explicit? You can't like... See. anything. It's so dumb. I'm playing this for laughs. It's for the bit guys

FUCK FOR YOUR LIFE, ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(YOU DIE IN THE MINDSCAPE YOU DIE FOR REAL *lying*) This is so dumb but this is a scenario that kept replaying in my head when I started liking this ship. EVERYONE TALKS ABOUT FORD FUCKING THE TRIANGLE AND NO ONE COMMITS TO THE BIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well thankfully, I have no standards. I drew this like a month ago and I was laughing the whole time. I think it was subconsciously inspired by the part in adams family values when debbie throws that bigass casette player in the bathtub.

This was on Patreon for a little over ten days, and now I'm releasing it to the world wide web, like a rehabilitated animal returning to nature. I sorta hemmed and hawed as to whether I should just leave it on Patreon, because it kinda seemed like it's home after a while. But when I was drawing this, it was always my intention to put it on tumblr. That being said, the "nsfw" stuff I've been making specifically for patreon is a little more... idk, obtuse? It leaves less to the imagination :'D So I guess this is fine.

[havenshereagain]

DPxDC Idea

Danny working at Wayne Enterprises as some sort of engineer, uses the in-house app for all his blueprints and stuff

He starts getting notes from a coworker in-app, and assumes its this annoying older guy in his department who constantly undermines him because of his age, despite his education and past achievements (i feel like in this AU the Fentons react well to the reveal and they work together on a number of non-lethal ecto inventions that have Danny's name attached to them)

Except one day his coworker mentions never using the app, and Danny suddenly realizes there's only one other TD he could've been arguing with in the notes of the app

[saltymarshmall0w]

Danny is "in denial" about the Waynes being vigilantes

Danny is really grateful for the Waynes taking him in and all but it’s just… it’s really obvious they’re vigilantes. Do they WANT him to find out? Why?? To join their battalion?

Hell nah. He’s already got enough going on trying to keep in check the many shades in the city.

Danny simply pretends to be oblivious about the Waynes being vigilantes. That's a future Danny problem.

It turns into Kyle levels of denial, where he ends up pretending he thinks the vigilantes are actors hired by the city to cover up all the ghosts haunting Gotham.

And obviously, the city bases them on the infamously growing Wayne family. It's so sweet of the Waynes to volunteer to dress up as their character for public appearances.

Meanwhile, Bruce has banned outright telling Danny even though it's been nearly a year of him living with them. So what if Danny glows sometimes and has full conversations with invisible people in dark alleyways, everyone has their quirks! so, the Batkids have resolved to just "accidentally" leave their mask on after patrol or make tactical plans loudly about taking down Penguin's latest scheme with Danny a room over.

-

“Is Dick coming to the Gala?” Danny asked as his head swiveled between his phone and the mirror as he attempted to tie his own tie. How did his mom always make it look so easy?

“No, he is going out as Batman tonight, since Father is unable to.” Damian responded. He may as well be blasé about their identities, seeing as Fenton was obviously both completely aware of their identities and completely in denial.

“Oh, man. Does that mean one of the “rouges” are going to attack the gala?” Danny asked, “It’s probably going to be that Two-face guy, huh? He hasn’t made an appearance in a while and his character arc with “Brucie” hasn’t made any progress in a while.”

“Nonsense, there is no predicting the mindset of a criminal like Two-face.” Damian ignored Danny’s disbelieving scoff as he maneuvered his newest brother to face him so he could take over the task for him, else they would be standing there all night. “Besides, Drake is in charge of security for the gala and will do an adequate job securing the venue. If you are afraid remain by my side where I can protect you.”

Damian tightened the tie around Danny's neck and stepped back to let Fenton pull his own collar down.

"That's very sweet of you, Dami." Danny reached up a hand and mussed up Damian's newly-gelled hair, garnering a growl and a shove from the boy. "But you should do normal kid things during the gala, like accidentally saying rude things to old ladies, or complaining about how bored you are, and don't forget to prank all the evil billionaires."

...

The “I told you so.” Danny brazenly mouthed to Damian later in the evening from where Two-face held a gun to his head was as infuriating as it was distressing.

—

(Kyle Weston is the fanon brother of Wes Weston (also a fanon character) who’s whole thing is that he believes in conspiracy theories like Wes, but doesn’t believe in ghosts at all to Wes’s frustration.)

[kenchann]

you shouldnt have gone too far 🦈🐬

[fidgetspringer-art]

Boots on throats, as promised.

[seamistgale]

Of @ghostreblogging, Where Danny has the same tax evasion skills as his parents. Kind of a coffee shop AU, but well, its gotham.

[lucabyte]

monologue

[exhausted-undead]

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! they're miserable

[catgrandpa]

Gotham has always been weird, so when the groundskeeper at the cemetery noticed the Wayne kid’s plot was disturbed, he just chalked it up to more of the same ol’. Alright, so ‘disturbed’ may be a tad too light of a word, but what’s an empty grave in the grand scheme of Gotham? God knows in a city like this one, they could use all the burial room they could get. He figured he’d just jot it down on the website and hope nobody noticed for a while.

Too bad he didn’t account for the 13 year old boy in Bristol who periodically checks the cemetery’s website when he’s feeling particularly lonely.

Plot Removed.

Tim Drake stared at the two words under the heading for Jason Todd’s plot number. Removed? What do they mean ‘removed’? They can’t just remove a plot? That’s a person down there! That’s Robin down there! You can’t Remove Robin!

Calm down. Deep breaths. Assess the situation.

Robin has been dead for 5 months and 14 days. There is no reason for a grave to be removed that early, especially one of a member of such an affluential family. Chances are likely it’s a simple clerical issue. He can call first thing in the morning and make them aware of the mistake. He can have it all fixed in 5 hours.

Just a phone call.

In 5 hours.

…

Tim hates talking on the phone almost as much as he hates waiting.

Well it won’t be the first time he’s snuck out to head to Gotham proper at 1am. It can’t even really be considered sneaking out if there’s no one home to catch you.

Buses stop running at 2, so he layers a couple sweaters under his coat and grabs his best running sneakers so he can comfortably make the trek back.

Just a quick trip to settle his nerves. Maybe get a few shots in if he spots Batman, but really he just wants to see with his own two eyes that things are okay and Jason can rest.

It’s 1:37 by the time he gets to the headstone reading ‘Here Lies Jason Todd’ and the gaping, muddy pit in front of it.

This- This doesn’t make any sense. This is not removal. This is destruction. Desecration. Somebody did this. Somebody-

Assess the situation.

A hole in the ground, approximately 1.5 feet in diameter.

Mud and grass flung outward but with little force.

Large chunks of earth turned over and shoved away.

No signs of tool marks or clean lines of entry into the dirt.

Dragging claw marks.

Staggering, shuffled pairs of foot prints in the mud.

A trail of dirt.

Something… Something large clawed its way out of the ground here. Something large and bipedal and- and humanoid.

Tim refuses to jump to any conclusions he can see all the facts laid in front of him. He’s going to cautiously follow the trail and simply hope to any god listening that he isn’t the world’s first line of defense against the zombie apocalypse.

He’s been walking for 23 minutes and there’s good news and undecided news. Good news: he’s closing in on the target and the trail isn’t taking him out of the way so his trip home won’t be prolonged. Undecided news: The potential Zombie Robin is heading directly for Wayne Manor.

As zombie apocalypse news, this is very bad. From Tim’s collected observational evidence, his not-so-professional opinion is that Batman, faced with a horror movie level zombie of his dead son, would not respond well, and would likely not fight back.

In Batman and Robin news? Tim’s unsure. If Jason is simply back? What could that mean for them? Batman can have his Robin. He wouldn’t have to continue nearly killing others and himself every night in his grief. Jason could-

No. Stop. Do not jump to conclusions.

Hope only brings heartbreak.

What would Batman do? Get close and see if the target is a threat.

Target is male. Mid-teens. Dark hair. Pale skin. Leaning against surfaces as he walks. Appears injured and disoriented.

Minimal risk assessed. Approaching and attempting contact.

Target identity confirmed: Jason Todd.

“J-Jason?” It comes out as a croaked whisper. Jason shows no sign of acknowledgment.

Tim clears his throat, steps right in front of his path, and tries again.

“Jason. Jason, stop I want to help you.” Still nothing.

“Please, Jason. I can help, I promise I can help!”

Why isn’t this working?! Why can’t he just do something right for once?! He wants this to work, he wants to help Bruce, he wants to fix Batman, he wants to not be alone, he wants-

“Robin!”

Robin jerks to a stop.

Tim reached out his hand.

“Robin. Robin please, I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s really scary, I’m really scared. But I just want to help you. Help you find Batman. Help you get home.”

Jason just stares at him. Of course he does. Of course it’s not going to work. Why did he even bother hoping he could help?

Hope only brings heartbreak.

His sight blurs as his eyes fill with tears and he starts to lower his outstretched hand.

His arm is slowed as a cold hand weakly grasps his own.

“Don’t… scared… Bat… help… Dad… help.”

A relieved sob tears out from Tim’s chest and he gathers himself together. He yanks his extra sweater off and gently pulls it over Jason’s cold shoulders. Jason lets Tim drag his arm over his shoulders to try and carry some of his weight.

“Okay, Robin. Yeah. Your dad will help us.”

Batman will solve everything once Tim gets Robin home.

[nat-20s]

Biggest hindrance of Doctor Who being a family show is that it ends up preventing authenticity. By which I specifically mean there's no damn way that Donna's response to some of the things The Doctor says wouldn't have been "Fuck off."