#fuck every bad faith take out there
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Alright, Iâm making this very clear right here right now: if youâre advocating for killing Jews, Palestinians, or Israelis as your solution to whatâs going on in I/P, or you think this is in any way acceptable, your behavior is absolutely disgusting, and I donât want anything to do with you. Stay away from me.
#jumblr#jewblr#I/P#fuck antisemites#fuck Netanyahu#fuck every bad faith take out there#fuck this compassionless society#and fuck tumblr
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im ngl i think my favorite headspace to be in is "want to be annoying"
#i am also really low energy today so i cant really do my normal expressions of it#(spam messaging Everyone i want to talk to at any given moments notice; sending random pictures/asks/etc to ppl)#but i also like. love being annoying. idc how others feel about it. there's something so wonderful to me about being such a nuisance to ppl#u like that they roll their eyes when you post your random thoughts AGAIN#there's something so lovely about pushing peoples buttons (within reason)#there's something just so fun about being ANNOYING!!!!!#ugh#i think it may genuinely be impossible for anyone to make me hate myself with mean words now#i think about it a lot and ppl can be really mean and it'd make me sad ofc if people were mean to me#butalso like#every person who is mean to me for silly reasons or bc they wanna take me in bad faith; every hateful thing thats been said to me - its all#jokes. my screen name on discord in a couple different servers is nicknames over stuff thats ACTUALLY been said to me#i think weirdly fondly of the man who yelled out to me on my birthday last year âfat bitchâ fromhis car not bc he's a good man (fuck him)#but bc yeah that hurt my feelings alittlein the moment - and then after i was like wait why? i AM a fat bitch! its one of my favorite thing#and every time soemone hates something abt me i just kinda learn to love it out of spite#anyway all of this is 2 sy: mutuals if u read this im holdin my finger 2cm frm your cheek going âIM NOT TOUCHING Uâ & giggling abt it c:
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:) :) :) :) :)
#if anyone. ANYONE. even people who condemn Vigilante Justice and talk about [xyz thing that was apparently wrong with him]#straight-up openly thirsts over the shooter and talks about how hot they think he is on a personal preference level#I am blocking you and never speaking to you again.#is this petty? yeah probably. almost definitely.#but I've earned the right to be petty after seeing all these fuck-ass awful takes on literally every subject imaginable#we NEED to put more '''''ugly''''' people in public positions this is actually IMPERATIVE#the fucking leeway you will give ANY white man who you think is attractive jesus FUCKING christ#it doesn't matter!!!! how you look is a morally neutral thing!!!!!!! most people are not '''''hot''''' actually!!!!!!!!!!!!!#get a hobby!!!!! worry about something actually meaningful for once!!!!!!!!!!!#find a fictional character who's horrible instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh I forgot. we can't like horrible fictional constructs for any reason that's bad. we can stan literally anyone irl though.#murderers. fundamentalists. abusers. dictators. the guy formerly known as bren------s.#THAT'S all fine.#I can't believe I'm going to say this. I hate this phrase and I think more often than not it is used in very bad faith but: SOOOOOO many of#you for real need to go out and touch grass#like for your own self-preservation#and for the sanity of the rest of us#current events#tw: guns#my God I have blocked and unfollowed more people in the past month than like. the entirety of my almost-eight-years here probably#UGH. good-BYE#(once again asking myself if I should legit just deactivate but I would lose touch with a few people and also access to some of my#beloved fandom communities)
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me ÂŁ1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have ÂŁ300#i don't have the ÂŁ300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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can't stress enough that you guys don't have to answer every single ask you get. in fact you can just delete them. especially if they are causing you psychic damage.
#x#re: last reblog and that one post that critiques the idea of not responding to anon hate#if someone is trying to bait you in your asks then delete it you are not obligated to answer every stranger's questions#especially if they're extremely fucking probing questions#and if u get hate its better to just let that shit go by deleting it#i cant think of a single person who has benefited in any way from responding to hate.#it doesnt make you look bad like that one post implies but it definitely exacerbates your own negative reaction to it#at random sometimes ill get a guy sending me a bunch of hate at once and guess what. nobody ever knows bc i delete it#and as a result i dont remember what the guy even said in the first place. out of sight out of mind#but back to the baiting shit - ppl bait me sometimes too and its so easy to just delete an ask taking ur comments in bad faith#very few ppl will continue to take ur shit in bad faith so if u just delete the annoying anons then it doesnt become a bigger issue
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Some people wouldnât know good taste if it was spat into their mouths.
#feeling salty tonight about some stupid fucking people#stop presenting your opinion as fact when you seem to deliberately misinterpret texts for your own ends#you project wildly itâs a bad look cut that shit out#learn to appreciate nuance#youâll enjoy things so much more instead of constantly digging your heels in about the first inclination you ever had#learn to challenge yourself and grow and youâll probably open up more#everything is subjective but sometimes someoneâs rotten brain mangles a story beyond recognition and then yeah theyâre just wrong#shoving every story and character and author into a box is dumb and youâre limiting yourself#remove the boundaries and expand your mind and you might find you enjoy things much more#constantly âhating on things is exhausting. wouldnât you like to rest?#take a deep breath and let it fucking go man this is stupid hill to die on#nothing is as black and white as you say and your extreme views are unfairly coloring the text in a negative light#itâs not that bad in fact I think itâs great and youâre a moron to write it off so flippantly bc you clearly donât get it#death of the author but holy shit the blatant bad faith readings feels like deliberate misunderstanding#your criticisms donât make sense they donât even align with whatâs on page youâre just rationalizing your negativity#if you find it so unappealing then fuck off#bc I do find it appealing and your rancid viewpoint is vomit inducing#from an enthusiast standpoint you sound stupid from an academic standpoint youâre just wrong#if this literature is so depraved and unpalatable for your modern tastes#go lick a tiktok and leave medieval literature out of it mkay?#end rant
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https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/743255237060689920/the-thing-that-confuses-me-about-the-dont-vote
The âdonât voteâ leftâs point is basically that, if Biden gets a second term, itâll basically signal that âTheyâll vote for us as long as weâre not Republicans, why donât we do some REAL fucked up shit, if we can get away with it?â It takes the power out of the peopleâs hands and places it firmly in the partyâs.
I canât completely disagree with that, my caveat is that thereâs no real alternative system or party in place, because top-down change is ineffective; a third party president has to contend with a two party congress.
Except no. This whole "Biden just wants to do as much fucked up shit as possible while not being a Republican, and if you give him a second term he'll do more fucked up shit deliberately to spite you" mindset is only possible as an interpretation if you a) deliberately and comprehensively ignore everything he has done to date, and b) you approach the situation with the maximum bad faith possible. Not to mention, the ultimate outcome of this Big Important Teaching Biden A Lesson is that Trump gets back into power and makes everything orders of magnitude worse, because he does in fact want to deliberately do evil shit to everyone and says so at every opportunity. There is not some magical happy alternative that springs into existence by not voting. If you choose this as a year to Teach Biden A Lesson, you are enabling Trump. Trump will be much, much worse. If you don't care about that, I still do not care what your Great Ideology is. You are not helping anyone and you are directly and irreversibly hurting everyone.
I made a post a few days ago wherein I mentioned that I want to assess Biden fairly, taking into account both strengths and weaknesses, but the rampant bad-faith, lying, misreading, misrepresentation, and open sabotage of him (especially by the online left; the GOP sometimes only wishes they were as good at turning Biden's voter pool against him) makes it really difficult to do that. My frustration with those people makes me just want to go "BIDEN IS GREAT THE END." I know he is a flawed old man (though by literally every account of a career spent in public service, he really does care about making the world a better place and any remotely good faith reading of his accomplishments thus far can see that). It is also very likely that he goes MORE left in a second term because he won't have to face the electorate again, he has always gone more left when pushed before, and he's not actually the scheming genocidal mastermind that leftist social media paints him as. Shocking, I know.
I know there are things in the world we don't like and don't want and want to stop, and therefore we blame our own president for not making it stop. But I have zero, no, none, absolutely none whatsoever sympathy for this pseudo-populist "WE NEED TO TEACH BIDEN A LESSON BY ELECTING TRUMP AGAIN, I AM VERY MORAL MUCH ACTIVIST" mindset. There's this funny thing about America wherein it is still (for now) a democracy. If Biden wins a second term, he can't run again. I would take literally anything these people said more seriously if they focused on developing their dream progressive successor for 2028 (and also figured out how to get that person elected and in a place to make real change) rather than cynically sabotaging Biden in the most consequential election year, again, of our lifetimes. If you don't like him now, find a way to make his successor a better option. Throwing a toddler tantrum and handing the country back to a senile, deranged, fascist, revenge-riddled, theocratic Trump HELPS. NOBODY. I still don't know how many times I'm going to have to say that, but yeah.
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cw: piv sex at the end, sylus is a bit rough hehe
sylus who (surprisingly to most people) is the most respectful out of the l&ds men.
sylus who holds every car door for you, leaves you a different array of flowers every week, makes sure you never use your own card, and opens every door for you. he has his large, scarred hand on your lower back at all times so he can assure you're by his side.
"focus on staying with me, sweetie. i don't want you getting lost somewhere you're not familiar with"
"sylus, i can handle myself!"
"i know you can. but as your man, i can't have you doing all the work alone, can i?"
sylus who loves teasing you. when you two are sitting anywhere near each other, he'll have his hand on your thigh. if he's sure that no one can see his girl, he'll trail his hand dangerously close to your crotch, grazing the top of your pussy, even dipping down a bit to give a small feather touch to your clit before returning back to the place above your thigh.
sylus who buys you any item you lay your eyes on. a new weapon, a new purse, new shoes, new clothes, they'll be at your doorstep in no time. after a while, you stopped telling him things you like since you started feeling guilty for spending so much.
he wouldn't have any of that. he sent luke and kieran to spy on you, finding out your password in only a day. he wasn't going to snoop through your messages, no. he had the utmost faith in you. instead, he would go through every shopping app you had and every website store you visited, clearing out every cart so it'd be empty and even spending extra on express shipping so it'd arrive as soon as possible.
sylus who tries to stay as respectful as possible when he finds that you've been shopping for adult toys. he knows you'd never buy it but he loves the sheer look on your face when he hands you the box.
"sy.. what is this?", your face goes ghostly pale as you recognize the logo on the box
"oh? trying to play innocent?"
sylus who's respect is forced out the window as he has you bent over his lap, fucking you with the dildo you'd personally shopped for.
"sy-sylus, please, i want your c-cock!", you cry out before he abruptly pulls the dildo from your pussy, leaving the tip in to tease you as he subtly shifts it in and out.
âoh? you want my cock? thought you wanted to play with some measly toys, sweetieâ
ân-no, sylus,â you sobbed from the lack of stimulation, ââneed you so bad..â
âhow bad?â, sylus smirked and you could swear that you could feel it burning in the back of your brain.
âreally bad, sy. i need you in my pussyââ
you couldnât even finish your thoughts before you were manhandled onto the bed. your ass was thrown up before he landed a sharp spank with his gloved hand.
âyou wanna be fucked with this cock, baby?â, sylus grunted before the sound of a zipper could be heard.
âyes, please, sylus!â
âfuck.. take itâtake itâ.
sylus thrusted his erect cock roughly into your pussy, holding you in place as you squirmed from his girth.
âyou trying to run away after i finally give you my dick?â
ân-no, sylus!â
âthatâs not my name, sweetieâ, sylus grinned before giving you another spank.
âplease, please, fuck me with your cock, sirâ
he groaned at the sound, grabbing your hips before he started ramming into you again.
sylus is respectful in every way. except for when heâs jealous of a dildo..
#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace#love and deepspace smut#lads x reader#lads sylus#l&ds sylus#l&ds#sylus x reader#sylus qin#sylus qin x reader#sylus smut#rina journal đ#IM SORRY IF THIS IS OOC THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING HIM
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when the subject of "why do people believe things that are seriously wrong and harmful" comes up it feels like you kinda hear one of two perspectives:
"oh, that's easy! it's because they're fundamentally Bad people who want to hurt others and choose their beliefs to justify that! :) hope this helps"
or
"they just don't have access to the same information we do. look at this person who was raised in a cult! don't you feel sorry for her?"
and like, yes, fine, some people were in fact raised in cults, but what i wish people would understand is that the bulk of it is just normal human flaws, like:
they want to believe stuff that makes them feel smart and cool and like they've figured everything out (you also do this)
they want to believe stuff that makes them feel like their emotions are justified and grounded in reality, and that the people they want to hurt deserve to be hurt (you also do this)
they form conclusions before they've processed all the relevant information, and cling to that first impression even when new info comes to light (you also do this)
they pick up beliefs from the people around them because they want to be liked and fit in, not because the beliefs are good or true (you also do this)
they come up with reasons that the stuff that benefits them (and the people they like and identify with) is actually overwhelmingly best for everyone and obviously the right thing to do (you also do this)
they pay more attention to stuff that supports what they already believe and avoid looking in places that might show them otherwise (you also do this)
they listen to people who talk like 'one of them' and ignore others (you also do this)
they come up with reasons to dismiss people with conflicting viewpoints as obviously in bad faith or ignorant or a shill or evil (you also do this)
they fail to take their own beliefs seriously sometimes, and take their beliefs way too seriously other times, in a selective way that lets them do the things they already wanted to do (you also do this)
the very ways they construct the ideas of 'knowledge' and 'wisdom' and 'belief' and 'understanding' are biased so that what they don't want to believe comes under lots of scrutiny and what they do want to believe receives less (you also do this)
you, dear reader, are presumably right about everything and were correct to die on every hill you've ever died on, but the difference between you and someone who's wrong about important stuff doesn't look like "well they're inherently evil and i'm not", it probably looks like a combination of:
natural environment (they would have been exposed to different information than you regardless of their choices)
being in the right place at the right time (your particular profile of flaws and virtues happened to be what was needed to lead you to the right conclusions, they had the opposite experience)
random luck (you doubled down on what felt right to believe but wasn't, but it turned out to be inconsequential, or even right for different reasons, while they doubled down on what turned out to be a horrible mistake distorting their entire worldview)
you do less of the things in the previous list, and over time the difference between you and them adds up
and, look, i also do these things. the nicest and most thoughtful people i've ever met do these things. if you meet someone who never does any of these things, i dunno, give them a fucking medal or something.
i know you're doing your best. we're all doing our best.
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đđđđđđđđ.
pairings â catholic!fem reader and eddie munson
summary â you're a good catholic girl. always have been â even though you're dating eddie munson, who's the complete opposite of that. he's crude and vulgar, and his influence may just taint you entirely.
warnings tags â adult language. mentions of religion, talks of god. eddie hates god, but has a god kink. major blasphemy. reader has daddy issues. mentions of jason craver (ew i know). graphic details of smut: loss of virginity (virgin!reader) + corruption. oral (eddie receiving). f!ngering. slight degrading but more praise. wrong usage of a rosary.
Eddie Munson was merely the Devil in your parents eyes.
To you, he was the seventh heaven.
Crossing paths with him was not a mistake, but a blessing. Eddie took care of you, and loved you. He really loved you.
You met him through a friend who went to Hawkins with him, and you couldnât perceive him as a bad boy, whatsoever. He was genuine and kind the second you and him met, asking questions about you that no other guy ever had done.
But you knew he was not the guy you could bring home to your parents. Your parents were aware of him, since your father was a Sheriff for the Hawkins department, and always got reports of him.
You couldnât tell them about your infatuation for Eddie, and how your heart burned for him, belonged to him. You were more faithful to Eddie Munson than you were to your Catholicism, and for you to say that to your parents, would earn you a kick to church camp.
You couldnât say that their sweet little girl was in love with Hawkinsâ freak; that he had told her many ways he wanted to deprive her of innocence and purity; that he dreamed of her worshiping him under her cross.
And you dreamed of that, every Sunday, for the past many month.
You sat in between your father and mother as the Priest read from the bible, and you fiddled with the ending hem of your white, babydoll dress. You stared mindfully at the cross, your head drawing the image of Eddie taking your virginity, rupturing your virtue, right underneath it.
You did feel a bit of guilt when you thought such lewd things, and you did blame Eddie for it. You felt even worse thinking of them in church, where you were supposed to be devoting your love and soul to the Lord, not a wild man.
âHebrews 13:4 says, âMarriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judgeââ, the Priest spoke confidently, eyes glancing up to everyone for a second.
You swallowed thickly, fingers gripping tightly on your dress.
What the fuck, Jesus, you thought to yourself. Iâm a fucking eighteen year old, of course I want to fornicate!
âSweet dear,â your mother whispered, and you looked at her. âYou look unwell. Are you okay?â
âDo you mind if I take a moment outside?â You wondered, brows drawing upwards. âIt feels stuffy. Just for a minute, please.â
She sighed heavily, shaking her head. âVery well, then. Be quiet, dear.â
You thanked her, standing up, and quickly â but quietly â dismissed yourself out of the building, pushing open the wooden doors. The second you were outside, you groaned, the doors swinging close behind you.
âIâm damned for Hell,â you mumbled, rubbing your temple in frustration.
âSo am I,â you heard a voice come from the side of you. You spin your head, finding Eddie there, smoking a cigarette. âFor smoking of the Lordâs sacred grounds.â
âEddie,â you sighed in relief, walking up to him, and he brought you into his embrace. He kissed the side of your head, before pulling back. âWhat are you doing here? If my parents â or anyone â sees you, they will make a fret out of it!â
Eddie chuckled. âIs that so?â
âIâm serious, Eds,â you frowned, throwing a small, playful slap to his shoulder. âWe donât need a scene.â
âAh, I know, angel,â he cooed, kissing your forehead for assurance. âI just needed to see you. Was wondering what you are doing tonight?â
âI have homework, and finish my project on the Betrayal of Judas tonight,â you explained, annoyed at the mere thought of it. âItâs going to take all night. Why do you ask?â
âI wanted you to come by my trailer tonight,â Eddie said, and you smiled, but upset you had to decline his suggestion. âBut itâs okay. Iâm going to pick you up after school tomorrow, okay?â
âIf Sister Josie sees you, she will report you to my parents,â you warned, and he only barked a laugh, throwing his head back. âI do not want to be sent to a camp because I was caught with you, Eds.â
âIf your parents did that, Iâd kidnap you,â Eddie stated, and you rolled your eyes, shooting a look at the churchâs doors, eyes retreating back into his shortly after. âGo on in, sweetheart. Iâll see you tomorrow, and we can do something fun.â
You raised a brow. âLike what?â
âAnything you wanted,â Eddie promised, giving your chin a soft pinch. âBe good for me, yeah?â
You hummed, and nodded. âBye, Eds,â you gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he watched you walk all the way back into the church.
You hurried back to your row, perching yourself back in between your parents.
âFeel better?â Your mother asked.
You inhaled sharply. âMuch better.â
Your fork poked at the vegetables that sat on your dinner plate, your eyes boring into it. It was always quiet on Sunday dinners, and you never said anything, unless your parents did.
Your mother poured herself another glass of red wine, and your father glanced at you, then his wife. âGot another report today about that Munson boy,â your father cracked the perfect quiet, and was visibly angered. âHeâs been seen graffiting near Lovers Lake.â
âAnd who is reporting that?â Your mother questioned, sipping her beverage.
âProbably that ass kisser, Jason,â you mumbled, and your father slammed his hands down on the table.
âLANGUAGE!â Your father bellowed, and you dropped your fork onto your plate, slouching back into your chair. âJason is a good boy. A good son of the Lord, and thatâs the kind of guy you need in your life.â
âJason literally tried to kiss me at the eighth grade school dance,â you recalled, scoffing. âWithout my consent, may I add!â
âWell you two were children then,â your mother said, and you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. âHeâs a lovely boy. His friends are lovely too!â
You purse your lips. âHis friends are dumb fucks.â
Okay, so maybe Eddie really did have a bad influence on you. Because you would never â for the love of God â curse in front of your parents, until now.
âWhatâs with the mouth?â Your father asked, and you glared at him. âYou ought to pray tonight to the Lord tonight.â
âIâm just growing up, daddy,â you mocked, standing up from the dinner table, and threw your napkin on top of your plate. You stormed out of the dining room, straight into your bedroom, slamming your bedroom door behind you.
You dropped your body onto your bed, stuffing your face into your pillow. You wanted to scream and kick every object in your room, but refused not to do such a thing.
You were fine with laying on your bed, and smothering yourself with a pillow, until you heard gentle knocks at your window. You jolted up, your head craning toward the sound, and peeked at the window.
And you found Eddie, standing right outside your window.
You cursed under your breath, and stalked over to your window, snapping it open. Eddie smiled at the sight of you, though he could tell you were mystified by his unnoticed appearance.
âDo you want to kidnap me that badly?â You wondered, and he chuckled breathily, shrugging. âYou canât be here right now. My dad and I got into this fight.â
âAbout me, I suppose?â Eddie asked, allowing himself to jump into and through your bedroom window, and you didnât stop him. âI know how your daddy likes to talk about me.â
âHe said I should be with Jason, or someone like him,â you said, and he closed your bedroom window. âBecause he is a son of the Lord.â
âOr the fucking Devil,â Eddie joked, and you snickered, but agreed. âI wonder what your dad would think if he knew you were with me, hm?â
âHe would take his shotgun to you,â you admitted, and Eddie took a look around your bedroom. âAnyway, you can stay for a bit, but my father demands I pray for cursing.â
âTheir little girl suddenly has a mouth of dirt?â Eddie teased, and you slapped his arm, which he laughed at. âHave I finally corrupted their innocent daughter?â
âShut it, Munson,â you snapped, and he leaned against your desk, his eyes casting down at your Bible that sat on top of it.
âHow about you pray right now? I wonât say a thing,â Eddie suggested, and you raised a brow, tilting your head. âYou need to get it over with, anyway. You wonât even know Iâm here.â
âYou want to watch me pray?â You asked.
âItâd be nice, yaâknow?â Eddie grinned, and he could tell you were completely gullible to what he was getting at. âMaybe I could learn a thing or two.â
You considered it, and simply agreed, walking up next to him. You grabbed your bible, and opened it up as you made your way over to your bed, kneeling at the end of it. Your knees brushed against your carpet-like flooring, looking up at your cross.
âWait, Eds,â you paused, and he was already giving you your pink rosary. You thanked him, wrapping it around your fingers, and held it tightly in your hand.
Your cross hung right above your bed, right in the middle of your room, and your attention diverted from him, to the Bible.
Eddie simply watched and witnessed you speak and pray, and he felt sick for getting aroused to this pure sight of you, pleading for forgiveness from a man who supposedly ruled the Earth. He wanted to touch you, for his hands to memorize and caress every curve of your body.
His eyes unpeeled that baby pink tank top you wore, then went to your white, soft sweatpants. He wondered how itâd be like for you to plead and worship him in front of the Lord as he made you call him your God.
Maybe that was an awful, crude dream to play in his head, but he wanted to have your devotion turn to him, not the Lord.
The Lord couldnât love and care for you the way he did.
Eddie went over to your bedroom door, and locked it, seeing how focused you were on the pages of pure fiction.
He kneeled behind you, and wrapped an arm around your torso, your body shuddering. He brought you closer to him, planting an innocent kiss on your shoulder.
âEddie, Iâm praying,â you pouted, setting your Bible down for a moment. âYou said you wouldnât disrupt.â
âJust keep going, love,â he mumbled, his tip of his nose brushing against your skin. âKeep praying.â
You rolled your eyes and did so, continuing to recite every word from the pages.
Eddieâs lips made their way to the nape of your neck, getting the sweet scent of your perfume. âWhat a good girl,â he whispered, his hot breath sending a symphony of shivers along your body. âDoing anything to stay pure and good.â
You nearly faltered, your concentration weakening. His hand trailed to your stomach, resting on your abdomen.
Eddie had touched you before, but not fully â not under your clothes. He even afforded to show you how to touch yourself, but Sister Tina from your school said youâd be banished to Hell for such a thing; so that set enough fear in.
Now, you craved for him to touch him. You didnât know why in this particular moment â out of every heated, lusting moment â you wanted to feel him, to take you apart, and taint every part of your body, and brain.
You began to stutter as you spoke, Eddieâs hand crawling under your sweatpants, grazing over your clothed area. âDo you think the Lord wants me to touch you?â He taunted, and you hummed, your hands grasping harshly onto both sides of the Bible. âWhat do you think?â
âEddie,â you managed to breathe out. âEddie.â
âI want him to watch me take his devoted angel,â Eddie continued, his fingers creeping into your underwear, and your body flinched the second his fingers pressed against your bud. âShow him that he is no protector.â
You nodded, and Eddie grinned, resting his chin onto your shoulder.
You wanted Eddie. You needed Eddie.
âKeep reading, or Iâll stop,â Eddie warned, and you couldnât hold onto a single thought as his middle finger curled into your unripe cunt. You moaned, squeezing your eyelids shut to the feeling of it. It was a single fucking finger in you, and you felt like pure bliss.
Eddie continued to pump the individual finger in you, slowly and surely as you tried to read more.
Everything was going smoothly, until a knock hit against your bedroom door.
Your father barked your name, you and Eddie freezing up. âHoney, why is your door locked?â Your father asked, shaking the doorknob. âAre you okay?â
Eddie smirked, his ring finger joining his middle, both pumping into a picked up pace.
âIâIâm praying!â You announced, trying to hold back your noises. âI wanted to pray in privacy, talk to the Lord!â
âOh,â your father spoke from the other side of the door. âIâm glad to hear that, sweetie. I just wanted to say, you know Iâm just looking out for you, right?â
Eddieâs fingers struck an unknown, but euphoric, spot in you, and you choked down a loud moan. âYeah, daddy! I know that,â you responded, throwing your head back onto Eddieâs shoulder, and the Bible collapsed to the side of you.
Eddie chuckled quietly, using his free hand to wrap onto your throat. âWhat a filthy girl,â he whispered into your ear, grasping onto your neck.
âThereâs bad guys out there, like Eddie Munson,â your father said, and Eddie wanted to bark a laugh. âIf you were to be with a boy like that, Iâd lose it. Boys only want one thing, and you know that.â
Another noise was lodged in your throat, Eddie having to squeeze your throat as a warning.
âI know, I know! Now, can I continue praying, please?â You asked, and Eddieâs finger shoved into you faster, and harder.
âYes, of course! Your mother and I are heading to the Martins for a bit,â he acknowledged, and you had to slam your own hand over your mouth. âWe should be back no later than 11. Be good!â
You kept your hand over your mouth until you heard the front door slam shut, and the second they did, you freed all your noises. Your chest heaved, your body becoming pudding against Eddieâs.
A hot sensation hit your stomach, and you found pleasure in it. It was an unfamiliar, enjoyable feeling. Your thighs trembled, and Eddie took a quick note to it, noticing how you were barely adjusting to this. âAre you going to cum?â Eddie asked, and you looked at him with confusion.
âCum?â You repeated.
âDoes it feel like your stomach is on fire?â Eddie asked, his fingers making themselves deeper into your core, and you nodded. âThat means youâre at your climax, love. That you are going to cum. Itâs very normal.â
You still had a lot to learn, and Eddie was glad enough to teach you it all.
âJust let it go, sweetheart. Let it be free,â he cooed, and you hummed, your body convulsing the second your climax poured out of you, nearly dropping to the floor. He kept you up and close to him, and you panted, swallowing thickly.
Eddieâs fingers disappeared out of you, removing his hand completely from you. He placed his two fingers in his mouth, getting the sweet taste of you, and nearly moaned. âYou taste fucking divine.â
You blushed, and eyed your Bible, picking it up. âI think I got enough forgiveness,â you joked, and Eddie hummed, helping you stand up with him. âI justâŚâ
âHm?â Eddie wondered, taking the Bible from you, and rested it on your desk. âWhat is it, sweet girl?â
âI want,â your voice quavered, your head hanging low in embarrassment. âI want more.â
Eddie placed his finger under your chin, bringing your head up to look him directly in the eye. âYou want more? You have to be more specific, love,â Eddie mused, and you whimpered. âUse your words, please.â
âI want you to touch me more,â you only knew how to say it like that. Just paraphrase it in that way. âI want you to fuck me?â
âIs that a question or statement?â Eddie jested, and you whined more, embarrassed. âIâm kidding, sweet girl. I know what you mean, but are you sure?â
You nodded, smiling in confidence.
Eddie tugged you closer to his body, his lips smothering yours, and his hands laid on your hips, squeezing them gently. Your arms looped around his neck, holding him close to you, your body aching for him.
He led you over to your bed, sitting down onto it as you straddled his lap. Your hands cupped his cheeks, your rosary brushing against his skin, and you could feel him smile on your lips.
His lips fell off of yours, and he stripped off his upper half clothing, dropping them to your floor. Your eyes widened to the view of his body, his abs perfectly toned, and your finger drew around the tattoos he had on the left side of his chest.
âI like this tattoo,â you giggled at the Demon and spider tattoos, and he smiled, kissing the side of your head. âBut I will always like your puppetmaster tattoo a lot more.â
âGotta get you a tattoo one day,â Eddie said, and you shook your head. âGet you a pretty tattoo, just like mine, yeah?â
âIâll think about it,â you said, and he hummed, his fingers hooking under your shirt. You let him take it off of you, undoing your bra by yourself. You hesitantly shimmed off your bra, the straps sliding down your arms, and onto your lap.
You put it on the ground with the other clothes, and you didnât stare at Eddie as his eyes gawked at your breasts. You were insecure and worried â he was the first guy to ever see your bare body.
Panic slowly rolled in. âIs it okay? Am I okay?â
âBaby,â Eddie breathed, looking up at you, and then at your breasts. âYou are so beautiful. This body, all mine to touch and mark.â
Your worries washed away, Eddie planting loving kisses on your breasts.
âYour body is fucking gorgeous,â he whispered, captivated and enthralled by your gracious beauty. âAll fucking mine.â He carefully laid you on your back, on the bed, and hovered over you, his lips falling back onto yours. His body rutted against yours, hands at the waistband of your sweatpants,
âTake them off, Eds,â you breathed into the kiss, and his taste was gone for a moment as he listened, stripping off your sweatpants. You were left in your white cotton panties, and he took a second to unbuckle his belt, and then his pants, both landing on the ground.
You and Eddie were only left in your underwear, and you could feel a hard bulge brush against your inner thigh.
Oh, you thought to yourself. That.
âAre you sure youâre ready, doll?â Eddie asked, and you looked at him with assuring, doe eyes, and he kissed your forehead. He reached over to his pants, grabbing his wallet from it, and pulled out a small wrapper from it.
You shivered, and your eyes bored into Eddie as he took off his boxers, and you tensed the second you glimpsed at his cock.
You were about to pray to God again, due to the overwhelmingly huge size of Eddie.
Eddie opened up the wrapper, taking out the condom, and slipped it on. You took off your panties and kicked them off, throwing your rosary too, seeing how they joined all other clothing items on the floor.
âItâs going to hurt at first; if you want me to stop, just say so,â Eddie said, and one of his hands held onto yours for comfort as his other was used to guide him into you. You could feel the head of him at your cunt, and you squeezed his hand whilst his cock made its way into you, slowly and bit by bit.
Your back arched, gasping aloud to the feeling of him fulfilling you. Eddieâs hand grasped onto your jaw, holding onto it, forcing you to hold eye contact with him. âJust take me, love,â he mused, and you whimpered in response.
You were being easily stretched and torn apart by his cock, your virtue draining out of you with every brush of him coming in and out of you. You continued to hold onto his hand, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand for assurance you were safe.
Eddie kept a steady, delicate pace, taking a clear eye to how you were already in shambles. He was simply dispossessing you of your longing purity, your body and devotion belonging to him now.
This was Seventh Heaven to you â this was all of the joy and exhilaration you longed for.
Your cunt adjusted to his size, and your hand let go of him, setting both of them onto his shoulders. âMore, Eddie. Please,â you pleaded, and he began to drill himself deeper into you, his hands pressing onto your stomach for support.
You squealed, his eyes on the way his cock thrusted into you. Your body elevated upwards, and your glossy eyes caught a glance of the cross above your bed.
If this corruption was so cruel, so vile, why did it feel so fucking amazing?
Flares of euphoria spurred throughout your body as wanton, lewd noises elicited out of your mouth, and filled your bedroom. Embers of pure, raw desire were in Eddieâs eyes the second they fell back into yours, his breath shuddering his rib cages.
A firestorm grew in your stomach, and your nails dug into Eddieâs shoulder, earning a harsh moan out of him. ââM gonna cum,â you told him, your chest falling up and down rapidly. âI need to cum, Eds.â
âWhat a sensitive whore you are,â he taunted, and you groaned, the fire spreading into your thighs. âCum for me, sweetheart. Cum for your God.â
Your lids sealed shut as your climax peaked and rushed out of you, your body moving with a hard jolt to it. Eddie nearly laughed mockingly at you, your delicate, unripe body, now sweating and shaking from sinful sex.
You barely had collected the fact Eddie referred to him as your God, but you didnât hate it.
You liked it.
âIâm going to fuck your pretty mouth,â Eddie said, and helped you sit up as he took off the condom. âI always told you Iâd find a way for you to worship me. Get on your knees, angel.â
Eddie tossed his condom into your trash bin, turning his attention back onto you.
You obeyed, and stumbled to your bedroom floor, collapsing down onto your knees. Eddie seized your rosary, and took the opportunity to tie up your wrists with the symbolized jewelry. You whined, tugging at your hostaged wrists.
âOpen your mouth for me,â Eddie said, standing in front of you. Your mouth popped open, and he shoved two fingers into your mouth, creeping them to the back of your throat. You gagged the second his fingers hit your throat, your eyes watering.
You stared up at him with pure and pious eyes, that were almost daunting, too.
âHow are you going to be able to take my cock, when you can barely take my fingers, angel?â He asked, and a tear trickled down your cheek. He was amused by this single tear. âYou worship me?â
You nodded as his fingers left your mouth, his knuckles brushing along your cheek. âYes, I worship you. Only you,â you assured, giving the edge of his palm a delicate, small kiss. âYouâre my religion.â
He chuckled. âSuch a good little thing you are.â
Eddieâs fingers curled into your hair, nails scratching against your scalp. His hips pushed forward, his cock stuffing your opened mouth.
You remembered your friend told you about blowjobs â that you make sure your teeth donât touch, or it makes it unpleasant. Your friend wasnât as faithful or pure as you were, only going to Catechism to please her parents.
Eddieâs cock continuously hit the back of your throat, drawing inchorenet gargles from you as tears lined at the brim of your eyes. Your throat was brutalized, yet you soaked into the pain of it, taking pleasure in every second of it.
Your eyes rolled back the deeper his cock went, his teeth gritting together, and moaned your name like a mantra.
Eddieâs head fell back, his hips snapping into your face, and you gurgled, trying your best to breathe out of your nostrils. âShit, shit, Iâm close,â he told you, and that was the only warning you were given, nothing else. âKeep your mouth steady and open for your God, baby.â
His climax flooded into your mouth, your tongue getting a salty taste of his high, and he pushed his cock out of your mouth. He tried to catch his breath, sweat beading at his forehead and body, his fingers unhooking from your hair.
âLet me see, doll,â Eddie said, and you happily showed him the way his cum sat on your tongue. âMhm, thatâs a good girl. Swallow it.â
You closed your mouth, taking it all down at once, and he kissed the top of your head. He unknotted the rosary, and your wrists were glad to be free.
Eddie sat the jewelry on your bed stand, and helped you up, sitting you down on your bed afterwards. âAre you okay? Does anything hurt?â He panicked, and you shook your head, a few strands of your hair matted to your teary, sweating cheeks.
âDid I do okay?â You asked, and he frowned, cupping your cheeks, caressing them lovingly with his thumbs.
âYou were wonderful, sweet girl. So good,â he reassured, kissing the top of your head. âLetâs get you cleaned up, and dressed. You still have that project.â
You groaned, barely remembering it. âOh fuck!â
#eddie munson#eddie munson x female reader#stranger things#stranger things 4#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#joseph quinn#joseph quinn x reader#eddie stranger things#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fic#stranger things smut#eddie munson angst#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fluff
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TOO LOST IN YOU - part IX
Paige Bueckers x bartender!oc
Warnings: emotional rollercoaster-ish? p having her last game :( SMUT (handcuffs...)
Wordcount: 11.9K
A/N: this is it, the final chapter. i know it's incredibly long but people voted to have a longer chapter instead of two parts so this is what i did. i genuinely can not thank every person who has read/liked/reposted this series enough - i never thought so many people would show so much love for what i've written and it genuinely moves me as a writer. i'm feeling surprisingly emotional letting go of Valerie and Paige, but i know the time has come. expect an epilogue eventually, but also tune in for my next series So It Goes, which will be a much longer project! anyways genuinely, ty from the bottom of my heart, i'm grateful for each and every person reading this <3 ALSO HAPPY GAME DAY WE BETTER DUNK ON ND IDC
-
âShot clock at four, Chen to Bueckers,â
The four seconds somehow feel closer to a minute, time slowing down around me, people moving in slow motion as I step back and get settled behind the three point line. With a flick of my wrist I let the ball fly.
âBueckers for threeâŚâ
My eyes follow the ball as it soars in an angle, silently praying itâs the correct one I had practiced over and over as it starts coming down. I barely hear the crowd roaring, everyone on their feet. This was our last chance and it was all up to me. What could be my final game in this uniform, with these people I loved could be over in a matter of seconds. I let the gratitude wash over me. If this is it then Iâm incredibly blessed, but please God, donât let this be it.
Like instant gratification for my faith, with a swish the ball slips through the net, the buzzer going off, barely audible over the uproar of the crowd deafening me.Â
âGOT IT! Bueckers brings Huskies to a two point lead, taking them to the final four!â
The waves of relief and adrenaline fill me from head to toe when my teammates run to me, all of us jumping up and down. Clammy hands are grabbing me everywhere, squeezing my shoulder and ruffling my hair. We did it, the National Championship barely out of our reach now.Â
âThank God!â I sigh in relief, looking up to the sky in a silent prayer. Iâm interrupted as the girls around chant âBDB, BDBâ over and over, all circling me with excitement. I feel overjoyed, all the sacrifices, challenges Iâd been through were worth this moment. I feel my eyes well up as I take it all in, the girls laughing with joy all around me, the crowd cheering louder than ever before this season, and Coach walking to me and patting my shoulder. Thatâs all I needed to know what he meant. I made him proud. The moment is nearly perfect, only one person missing to make it complete.
-
âBABE??â Valerieâs voice comes through the phone harshly, speaking loud over a chattering crowd of people.
âWhy are we yelling?â I chuckle, leaning my back against the changing room wall, cold on my sweaty back.
âBABY THAT WAS INSANE!â She says, voice excited. âIâM AT TEDâS SO I CANâT REALLY HEAR YOU.â
âIâm so happy but fuck I miss you ma-â
âWait Paige you there?!â She speaks over me, clearly not hearing a word.
âVal can you hear me?â
âP? You there?â
The beeps stop me, the call over before it even began. Rubbing my jaw I feel a twinge in my chest. All I wanted right now was her, the lost connection only reminding me more of the distance between us. It felt uncomfortable, almost painful in my body to be so far away from her.
the connections bad ):
paige iâm so fucking proud of you, you shouldâve seen me i was jumping up and down
Thatâs okay ma. Wish I seen it too.
Wish u were here
It was selfish of me, in fact I had been the one to tell Valerie not to come watch us play. Last time she watched me, Iâd been a mess. I couldnât risk being distracted this time.
I had found my groove quickly, the fine line between being Paige Buckets and girlfriend Paige. A lot of it was due to Valerieâs surprising patience with me while I figured all this out. Somehow it made me better on the court too - I never found myself pretending to be someone else anymore. However, having my girl in the crowd watching me, cheering me on, well that was a different subject. I couldnât help but fear that her presence would have me messing up, getting unfocused. And now wasnât the time to test the waters. So I had told her to stay home.
Valerie wanted anything but that, her mouth quickly turning into a frown as I told her no. But after some arguing back and forth I sweet talked her out of it.Â
âI thought youâd want me there,â her words still echoed in my head. As much as it pained me to admit, Valerie was right. Now that it was all done, all I wanted was my girl on my arm.
told you
Call me when u get home?
are you tryna get rid of me?Â
Never
good
 -
My voice is slurred as I lock myself in the bathroom, hands clumsily handling the lock before I coo into the phone.
âBabyyyy,â
âPaige, are you drunk?â Valerie chuckles. I nod as if the girl on the phone could see me. After we won the drinks had been flowing, me and the girls locking ourselves into one of the hotel rooms and sharing a bottle of Titoâs. It wasnât necessarily allowed but Geno and CD were usually good sports about it, turning their backs and letting us do what kids in college did.
âPerhaps,â I giggle, which makes the girl on the phone let out a bright laugh.
âYouâre really milking that Unrivaled ad huh? Never heard you say that word in my life before that,â she teases.
âAre you tryna say Iâm bad with words? What about âwork tourâ and âI did all I could so God could do all I canâtâ? Now those went hard.â
âPaige Iâve seen the folder on your phone full of lil things like that for you to say. Youâre not that slick,â Valerie laughs into the phone. She was right of course. I wasnât that slick. I mightâve been embarrassed by the way Iâd been exposed, but I simply couldnât. Hearing her voice, even when insulting me, had me weak in the knees.
âI love you,â I sigh into the phone, leaning against the cold marble of the bathroom sink.
âI love you too, P. I meant what I said earlier. Iâm so fucking proud of you,â she murmurs, voice turning softer like it always did when she was telling me something important.Â
Grinning to myself a sinister thought flashes across my mind, which I would usually keep to myself but the alcohol in my blood had me feeling bold.
âWhatchu wearing ma?â
Valerie scoffs and giggles into the phone, âBro chill!â
âCâmon Val I won big today and I miss my girl,â I whine, the foolproof method to get the brunette to bend to my will working this time too.
âWell I just got in bed,â she murmurs, I hear her shifting. âJust in that T-shirt you left and panties.â
For a moment I close my eyes imagining her, smooth legs sprawled over the blanket, bare tits so easy to expose just by pulling that damn shirt off.
âWhat kinda panties?â I ask, my voice now hoarse and deeper than before.
âYouâre not with the girls still?â Val asks but Iâm quick to answer, impatient for the detail I had asked for.
âIâm alone, Iâm in the bathroom in my room. What kinda panties?â
The phone catches the heavy sigh Valerie lets out, a sign of her own arousal growing, caused by the urgency, sheer need in my voice.
âRed ones, the lace ones with the bows?â
I cuss under my breath, pressing my thighs together, eyes still closed envisioning my girl.
âTake the shirt off,â I command, Valerie shifting to pull the top off.
âItâs off,â she whispers, her voice breathy with need.Â
Biting my lip I throw my head back, desperate for her. âCan you show me ma?â
She doesnât hesitate, less than a minute later a notification comes through. Fumbling with my phone I finally get the picture open, letting out an audible groan. Itâs my girl lying on her back, back arching so her breasts are perked up, the bows of the red panties decorating her body, thick thighs pressing together deliciously. I canât help but drag my hand into my sweatpants, sliding it beneath my boxers to find some sort of relief to my need.
âFuck ma youâre so sexy,â I groan, my fingers swirling in my folds, making my knees shake. âYou should- ah shit, you should play with yourself.â
âYeah?â she asks so innocently I nearly come.
âYea baby, I am.â
Suddenly I hear her gasping, which only makes me groan more. The adrenaline of the game, the post win euphoria and the need for my girl had made me soaked and the picture was only spurring me on.
âTell me how wet that pussy is,â I whimper into the phone, the sounds of Valerieâs moans turning me on even more. The marble is cold against my lower back, but Iâm only paying attention to the sounds filling my ear, and the way my fingertips rub against my clit, getting me to the edge quickly.
âSo- so wet P, all for you,â she whines.Â
âNeed you to finger yourself baby,â I order, squeezing my eyes shut, lost in the memory of how her cunt felt squeezing my fingers. âImagine itâs me.â
The girl lets out a sharp inhale, and I know sheâs working herself close to the edge.
âFuck a dub, youâre my prize,â I murmur into the phone, trying to control my moans. My words are only encouraging the brunette, making her moan louder.
âBaby, need you here so bad,â she cries out, voice turning more high pitched. I let my head lull back as I rub my clit in sloppy circles, feeling myself teetering the edge.
âI know baby, âm right here,â I breathe heavily, feeling my slick cover my fingers. âIâm not gonâ last long Val.â
Hearing that does it, her moans turning desperate in that familiar way - she was there too.
âP Iâm gonna come!â
âShit baby, come on,â I let out a groan, my fingers quickly working me over the edge as I listen to Valerieâs moans on the phone. Waves of pleasure wash over me as I grip the sink behind me, watching the picture of Valerie nearly naked on my screen. I lucked out.
âOh fuck,â Valerie breathes into the phone as she comes down, my own legs still shaking from the climax.
âI know,â I exhale and pull my hand out of my pants, allowing some space for both of us to calm down. Now that I was feeling more sober it really hit me hard, the distance. All I wanted was to wrap my arms around her and inhale the scent of her hair, feel her body molding into mine. I know Valerie feels it too when I hear her speak.
âCanât believe youâre moving to Dallas soon,â she murmurs quietly, her voice small.Â
We had been tactically avoiding the conversation, both of us having the same fears of how the discussion might go. Long-distance was hard for anyone, but I barely knew how to be in a relationship. In only the last week or so we had ran into many issues mostly caused by me and my lack of communication skills. I was learning fast and I wanted to for her - but the weight of the future felt heavy on my chest and doubt was starting to creep in. Not all the time, but in moments like this. When I saw a glimpse of what might lie ahead of us. Many nights like these.
I had grown enough to know that this wasnât the time to have that discussion though.
âHey maybe Iâll get drafted to the Sparks, we donât know yet,â I joke trying to lighten the mood, as if that was any better. Well for me it was, I wouldnât have to live in fuck ass Dallas.
âMhm,â she mumbles and I could tell from her voice reality was hitting her quick. Last thing I wanted was for her to be upset, so I try to steer the conversation once more.
âIâm so excited for this date I got planned baby, youâre gon love it,â I murmur into the phone washing my hands. Her tone shifts, now slightly lighter.
âIt better be good, Iâve been waiting,â she jokes and I let out a sigh of relief knowing the difficult conversation could be pushed off to another day.
âOh trust, it will be.â
-
I check my hair one more time, my brunette locks in a perfect blowout when thereâs a faint knock on the door.
âValerie! Itâs for you I think,â my roomie Amy shouts. I quickly grab a sweater to throw over the black long bodycon dress I was wearing in case it got cold, taking my purse to go open the door. I could feel excitement swirling in my gut for our first date. Giddy like a child on Christmas morning I tiptoe to the door, my roomies all whistling at how good the dress made my ass look - which was precisely the reason I wore it.
Opening the door Iâm met with a huge bouquet of deep red roses before I even see the blonde holding them. Gasping I grab the flowers, burying my nose in and inhaling.Â
âOh my Goooood,â I gleam, letting the floral scent fill my nostrils. Finally lifting my gaze I see Paige, with a stupid wide grin on her face watching me, looking fine as hell as usual. Her blonde hair is slicked back in a bun, wearing black cargos and a white long sleeve, diamond studs decorating her ears and a chain with the number 5 hanging off her neck.
âYou look so good,â I gasp and throw myself at the blonde, wrapping my arms around her dramatically and kissing her. She chuckles but kisses me back, but when she sees my outfit her face falls.
âVal, the dressâŚâ
I immediately frown, feeling self-conscious. âOh⌠you donât like it?â
âOh God no I love it, wanna take it off you right now,â she says her voice low and quiet so my roommates donât overhear. âBut youâre gonâ get cold baby.â
âWell you didnât tell me what to dress for,â I say slightly annoyed, still holding the bouquet. If she wanted me to dress a certain way she couldâve let me know. I was trying to give Paige the benefit of the doubt. She wasnât used to any of this, real dates, a real girlfriend.
âYou right thatâs my bad,â Paige murmurs, scratching the back of her neck. âYou should change into something a lil warmer tho. Iâll put the flowers in a vase for you ma.â
âFine.â
With a defiant groan I march into my room, leaving Paige to chat with my roommates, Amy and Layla. Neither the biggest fans of the basketball star after seeing the rollercoaster she put me through since we met. I knew they were still suspicious. I was just hoping Paigeâs charms could win them over.
Taking off my dress I stand in the carefully picked lingerie staring into my wardrobe. Suddenly the door opens, the tall blonde making her way in and whistling when her eyes fall on the purple set on my body.
âNO! Youâre not supposed to see yet!â I yelp and try to cover up with a pillow - unsuccessfully. Laughing, Paige closes her eyes and walks over to me bumping into my desk until her stretched out hands land on my ass.
âWell hello,â she grins, wiggling her brows, eyes still squeezed shut.
âPaige!! Stop!â I complain, though I liked the way her hands were feeling me up everywhere.
âHey! Iâm not lookin at least, gimme something,â she says and stands behind me, her hands snaking around to squeeze both my breasts, making me both flustered and giggly.
âOkay I gotta get dressed P or weâll never get out,â I chuckle and grab a pair of white cargos and a black and white striped sweater to put on.
âFineeeee,â the girl groans and plops herself down onto my bed, still with her eyes closed. Once the clothes are on I walk over to her, standing in between her legs as I lean down and kiss her cheek. Her blue eyes open, sparkling when she sees me.
âYou look perfect,â she hums, shoving her hands in my back pockets to feel my ass up.Â
âWell that dress wouldâve been nicer,â I murmur, still a little annoyed. Paige, rolling her eyes, stands up and walks me out the door by my shoulders.
âWell now you wonât be bitchinâ about being cold and shit,â she says.
I had no idea what Paige had planned, but she had been acting all sly about the plans the entire week. It had grown so irritating I almost wanted to tell her off for it, but I knew it was her way of showing she was excited which in turn excited me as well.
The air is surprisingly warm despite the grey overcast caused by the cloudy sky as we head out. Paige opens the door to the passenger seat of her Jeep for me, quickly walking over to the other side and climbing in.
âSooo where are we going?â I ask, trying to peek into the backseat for any clues. Paige proudly grins as I lean back to find only water bottles, a couple of Nike shoe boxes and a basketball in there. Way to play into every stereotype.
âYouâll see Val,â she beams, her hand coming to rest on my thigh as she accelerates on the highway. âItâs like a little over an hour away.â
Knowing it would be pointless to pry, I stare at the scenery out the car window, enjoying the comfortable silence falling over me and Paige - a rare occasion considering her mouth was always going. I felt at ease, her presence wrapping me in a duvet of calm. Of course my fears were still there when it came to the girl next to me. It would take months of building trust and communication to let go of all that had happened between us. The thing was, we didnât have months.
In fact a month was all we barely had left before Paige would be leaving for Dallas. Obviously it wasnât official yet, not till the draft. But we both know what the future holds.Â
I look at Paige, her side profile outlined beautifully against the light shining in through the window behind her. My eyes roam the tip of her nose, the curve of her lips as she raps along to some song I wasnât paying attention to. Paige had become a master at the art of evasion, the unmentioned topic heavy between me and her. Mentally I was beginning to prepare for the worst, to face the truth. We could barely stick by each otherâs side the past few months and we lived on the same campus - how could we ever make it through long-distance while I finish my masters?
And what then? I pack my shit up and move to Dallas? Would Paige even want me there? Sheâs gonna meet so many new people, her whole life is about to change. Even if she wanted me now, Iâm not so sure sheâll want me a year later. The idea was terrifying, causing a twist in my gut, us finally sorting our shit out just to have to give all this up. So I was just trying to soak in every moment I had with her, even if they were our last ones before the inevitable.
Eventually my eyes land on blue waves stretching across the horizon before us as Paige turns left into a parking lot. I feel excitement growing in my chest for what the girl mightâve planned, pushing away the thoughts of the inevitable end that was looming right in front of us.
âIsnât it a lil cold for swimming?â I ask confused as Paige parks, my gaze taking in the waves crashing against the sand, only a few others walking along the coastline on the cloudy day. I had always found there to be something extremely serene about a grey day on the beach, the ocean smelled different, the humidity causing the air to grow heavy.
âWeâre not going for a swim ma, Iâm taking you on a picnic,â she grins and I can tell from the look on her face that sheâs proud of this. Paige Bueckers, the All-American basketball star, the one Iâd been begging to let me sleep over just a few months ago taking me on a picnic. My heart nearly bursts with affection and I donât fight the urge to lean over and kiss her. The blonde smiles into the kiss, her lips fitting against mine just right.
As I reach for the door Paige slaps my hand away, the sting making me jump.Â
âOw what the hell!â
âDonât even think about it,â she says as she gets out and walks to the other side to pull the car door open for me.
âMaâam,â she teases but I look at her, still rubbing my hand.
âThat hurt yâknow,â I mumble, it didnât really but something about Paige made me play up my theatrics.
âI did what I had to, now stand the hell up,â she commands pulling me out.
âThis isnât my idea of romantic P,â I complain as she walks me to the trunk of the car by my arm and opens it. I immediately swallow my words when I see whatâs inside -Â a checkered picnic blanket, pillows, a large picnic basket, a cooler and a small speaker.
âThis better?â Paige asks, watching my face light up. I would never admit it but part of me thought she could never plan something like this, that it wasnât her thing. I suppose I was wrong.
âThis is the sweetest thing anyoneâs ever done for me,â I gasp and wrap my arms around her neck and jump, knowing Paige will catch me everytime. She holds me up in the air by my waist and lets me pepper kisses all along her face.
âYou deserve it ma, you deserve a whole lot,â she murmurs into my ear before placing me down, hands rubbing up and down my back. âWould give you the whole world if I could.â
Her eyes are blue and sparkling as my gaze meets hers. I wanna pause the moment, stay there with her forever.
âCâmon, letâs go.â
Paige grabs all the heavy stuff insisting I grab the blanket and the pillow instead. Picking the perfect spot we set everything down, the blonde not letting me help the tiniest bit as she sets everything up for us. I inhale the salty air, humming as the scent fills my nostrils. The high-pitched screeches of seagulls echo across the waves and I step out of my shoes, letting the sand against my bare feet ground me.
âAight, I think weâre set,â Paige says, setting open the picnic basket. Sitting down on the blanket I watch carefully as the blonde pulls out different foods. Chocolate covered strawberries, croissants and pastries - very elegant, very not Paige.
âHow did you-?â
âI googled uh, romantic foods⌠and the girls thought this was a good idea,â she explains sheepishly, handing me a Coke from the cooler. âIs this lame?â
Thereâs genuine panic on her face and for the first time I notice a slight shake in her hands. Paige Bueckers was nervous. I could barely believe it.
âPaige I love it,â I reassure her but notice the way sheâs chewing the insides of her cheeks, tapping her fingers against her Coke can. Without thinking I bring my hand to hers, our eyes meeting. âI mean it. I love this baby.â
She lets out a relieved exhale, a hesitant smile growing on her face. âI did good?â. Looking for praise, as always.
I nod. âYes, P, you did good,â I grin and lean over to peck her cheek. Smirking, the blonde lifts her arm up to flex.
âWell yeah I knew that,â she rolls her eyes and I scoff when I feel a bead of water drip down my forehead.
Paige feels it too, her blue eyes darting to the sky. The clouds are turning dark above us at a rapid rate, an ominous sign telling us the date might end before it even starts.
âDid you check the weather before P?â I ask as more rain begins to fall down.
âFuckâŚâ Paige sighs and rubs the bridge of her nose in frustration telling me that she in fact didnât.
I could tell that she was starting to feel discouraged, it was all a little hard for her - the relationship stuff. For me it was enough that she was trying, but that would never be enough for Paige. Always the winner.
âMaybe itâll pass⌠itâs fine!â I assure her and grab a chocolate strawberry, trying to feed it to her. But all of a sudden the soft spring rain turns into a heavy downpour, my hair and clothes getting drenched in a matter of seconds, sticking to my skin. So much for the blowout I spent an hour on this morning.
âForreal?!â Paige groans, blonde strands darkening from the rain.Â
âWe should probably pack up PâŚâ I carefully tell her, getting up and offering a hand to her. Sheâs looking defeated and frustrated, staring at the ground. With a heavy sigh she stands up without grabbing my hand, head nodding towards the parking lot.Â
âNo, lemme. You get in the car so you donât get wet,â she murmurs hopelessly, not meeting my gaze, clenching her hand into a fist.
âNo I wanna help-â
âValerie get in the damn car.â
I knew the blonde well enough to know there was no fighting her once she got like this, so I obey, grabbing the pillows and heading towards the car. I knew exactly what Paige was thinking - that perhaps this was a sign from God of what was to come, that we just werenât meant to be doing any of this.
Then it hits me - an idea that might save this whole day. I empty the backseat and the trunk completely, placing everything neatly on the front seats (and wondering why she needed 3 basketballs in her car but⌠sure). After fiddling with the seats in the back I fold them flat, opening up plenty of space in the trunk. Grateful for the hoarding Paige had been practicing, I lay down some towels I found in her car and the slightly damp pillows, setting them up for us.
âVal I told you to get in, youâre gettinâ wet,â Paige lectures as she returns, quickly stopping in her tracks when she sees what I had done.
The back of Paigeâs Jeep is laid out flat, the trunk open for a view of the beach stretched out along the horizon. It wasnât what we had planned for, but I would be damned before I give up on this day.
âCâmon,â I tell the blonde as I climb in, sitting cross-legged as I watch her wordlessly follow. Both of us are soaked, hair dripping water and the fabric of our clothes cold and sticking to our skin. Nevertheless I was hellbent on making this work somehow.
Turning to Paige I smile proudly but sheâs frowning, eyes locked on her own lap. Sheâs upset, not with me but herself.
âIâm so fucking bad at this Val,â she murmurs disappointedly. My heart aches for her, but also for me, terrified knowing the blonde didnât like to do things she didnât excel at - this being one of them. Maybe it was only a matter of time when sheâd decide to give up on this. On us.
âPaige-â
âAnd then you fix everything, when Iâm supposed to be the one taking you out. Fuck, Val, you should just be with someone who can actually do this shit,â sheâs rambling on and I feel that fear growing with each defeated word she says.
âPaige! Weâre supposed to be a team, sometimes you drop the ball and I pick it up, so when I drop it, itâs gonna be your turn, ok?â I tell her, my voice steady but stern. She meets my gaze, frowning and shaking her head.
âIon got time to figure this all out beforeâŚâ she sighs, a deep furrow in her brows, stopping herself before the painful words slip out. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.
âReally? Now you wanna have that conversation?â I ask annoyed. She couldnât just let me fix the date, she just had to start talking about this now. If there was something she really wasnât the master of it was time and place.
âWell we gotta talk it out at some point ma,â Paige says, her rising voice making me feel defensive.
âAlright so during our first date then? Now?!â I say, closing the picnic basket.
Paige lets out a bitter chuckle, throwing her head back. âThis ainât counting as a date, trust.â
âWhy do you have to be like that? Iâm tryna fix this and you do that? I donât need any of this,â I say pointing to the picnic basket and the cooler and the beach. âJust needed you with me and I woulda been happy!â
âWell I figured it wasnât enough for you before!â
I know exactly what she means. How I wanted her to myself when she had a roster full of girls, how I wanted more. But the way she said it was like I was selfish, like it was too much to want her to myself. Like she didnât want the same.
It hurts. I go quiet, averting my gaze from her. I feel my eyes burn but donât let the tears fall. I hear the girl in front of me take a deep sigh, rubbing her jaw.
âShit⌠Val, I didnât mean it like thatâŚâ she murmurs but I donât pay attention.Â
âWe should go back,â I sigh, defeated.Â
âNo no no, baby please, lemme try again plea-â
âI want to go home.â I say sternly and climb out of the trunk. I could feel my heart breaking, now that I got a preview of what was to come once Paige left for Dallas. We would never survive it.
We drive home in silence, but not the easy, comfortable kind. The air inside the car is heavy with things left unsaid. Once we get to Storrs Paige walks me to my dorm, leaning into the door frame as I take off my shoes, eager to get out of the freezing cold clothes, sticking to my skin uncomfortably. The red roses sit pretty in a vase on my nightstand, reminding me of the excitement of earlier and how quickly it had fizzled out. Paige was one of the most resilient people I knew when it came to her sport - however that certainly wasnât the case in her relationships. It was as if all her fight was reserved for basketball.
âCan I come in for a bit?â She asks carefully.
âI need to get outta these clothes and shower,â I mumble to the blonde. I was hoping sheâd fight me, plead to let her in.
She exhales but doesnât, that quick to give up on us.
âOkay.â
Sheâs chasing my gaze, but I canât look at her. Reality was hitting me faster than Iâd like and it was so much more painful than all those times Paige went and slept with another girl. Somehow this was way worse. I donât know how to react without starting to cry - so I donât react at all.
âOkay.â
Paige sighs and touches my arm just for a second.
âI love you, Iâll text you.â
âOkay P, love you too.â
With that she leaves, no kiss, no hug and sheâs gone. Just like she will be in a month or so.
-
âYouâre so stupid Paige,â Jana rolls her eyes and the other girls nod in agreement.Â
âForreal you need like dating lessons or sumn,â Aubrey says, manspreading on the couch. Iâm lying in the middle of the living room floor, retelling what happened just the other day with me and Valerie.
âI know how to date,â I scoff, throwing my arm over my face.
âNo you know how to fuck, thereâs a difference,â KK says and the girls hum, nodding their heads.
Azzi walks into the living room, holding a bottle of water, watching all of us gathered around me and my dramatics.
âWhatâs going on?â She questions, watching me sprawled out on the floor.
âOur BDB here started talking about the Dallas thing in the middle of their first date,â Kaitlyn shakes her head, making Azziâs eyes widen.
âGirl⌠youâre an idiot.â
âThatâs what I said,â Jana agrees. I groan and rub my face, I suppose they were right.
âThatâs what Iâm sayinâ tho, I dunno how to be in a relationship so how am I gonna do long-distance with anyone?â I ask, feeling dejected.
Aubrey throws a pillow on me but I was too tired to dodge, letting it land on me. âYouâre so stupid.â
âWhat Iâm saying,â Azzi hums, sitting on the edge of the couch. âYouâre all about the fight and being resilient. Youâve been through so much shit and pushed through it but some relationship issues and you give up already?â
The words hit hard as I take them in. Because every single word was right. I was a fighter, a demon on the court at my best - so why wasnât I fighting for me and Valerie.
âYou love this girl right?â Aubrey asks, already knowing the answer.
âThe most,â I admit, tilting my head to look at her.
âAnd sheâs worth fighting for?â
Fuck yeah she was. More than anyone. I nod.
âThen whatâs your problem?â KK asks.
Deep down I knew what my problem was. I was scared. Fucking terrified. I knew if I worked really hard for this and it all went down the drain, it would be the biggest pain of my life. But then again Valerie was worth that risk. I loved her with my whole existence, every cell in me burning for her. Letting her go without a fight might be the only thing that could hurt me more.
âYou right,â I murmur and finally get up from the floor, checking the time. Her night shift had just started. âAnyone wanna go to Tedâs?â
-
The bar is crowded, the end of March bringing students from all over to spend the sunny spring day drinking and dancing. Itâs pleasantly busy but not packed to the brim. Everytime I walk into Tedâs Iâm brought back to the times I spent sitting in that one table by the corner, drinking Shirleys and watching over Valerie, begging that some sort of miracle would allow her to be mine. The way her mouth twisted into a smile each night I stepped in will forever be engraved in my mind.Â
To my surprise, Iâm met with that same, familiar smile when our eyes meet. I thought she might be upset with me, but the way her perfect face lights up behind the bar makes me feel relieved.Â
She scurries to me from behind the bar counter, and hugs me tight. Without a care in the world I kiss her, not caring who might see, what the students watching might say behind our backs. Who cares, Iâd be leaving in a bit anyway.
Valerie kisses me back, humming into my mouth clearly pleased about my affections. The smell of coconut enamors me, drawing me in.Â
âIâm so sorry,â I murmur against her in between desperate kisses.
âForget it, just happy youâre here,â the girl sighs, her kisses filled with a similar urgency. Neither of us wanted to fight, not knowing these were our last moments in Storrs.
Her fingertips press into the back of my head, pulling me in closer when weâre rudely interrupted.
âI love you guys but Riri I need your help,â Natalie laughs, making drinks hurriedly.Â
We pull apart, her brown eyes twinkling in the low light. âSorry Nat,â Valerie chuckles, giving me a smile that says everythingâs okay. Hesitantly, we let go of each other, the girl returning to her job.Â
âSo I think yâall are good,â KK laughs and the girls join in. I shrug, still feeling the tingle of her kiss on my lips. âShould we go sit?â
âYou guys go, Iâll be there in a bit,â I wave the girls off, taking a seat on a stool by the bar. My eyes watch closely as Valerie works, taking in every movement. Her concentrated expression, the slightly clumsy way she handles the bottles because of how small her hands are. It all makes me love her more.
I sit there for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, then an hour has passed but I barely realise, living for the stolen glances and giggles between us. I could watch her forever. For the rest of my life.
âDo you come with the drink?â I overhear some guy, definitely shorter than me and younger, asks Valerie as sheâs serving him. Immediately I let out an annoyed scoff, rolling my eyes.Â
âUnfortunately no,â Valerie chuckles in a friendly manner, fishing for tips. I feel myself growing more irritated, seeing the way this guy is eyeing my girl, the way his eyes lock on her chest in the white top. Now donât get me wrong, I was the first person to understand why someone would ogle over Valerie - she always looked incredible. The way her work uniform of blue jeans and a white top hugged her body, the slight wave of her hair she hadnât blow dried, the minimal makeup she wore to work, it all made her look so good I couldâve eaten her alive. But she was my Valerie, mine to look at, to flirt with.
âDamn, what if I tip well,â the guy continues, making me get up from my seat.
âYoooo chill chill, not too much,â I say with slight irritation, finding to my pleasure that I am in fact taller than the guy as I walk up to him. His eyes flash with recognition as he takes me in, quickly backing down.Â
âPaige uhh,â he murmurs, lifting his hands up. âMy bad, she your girl?â
âShe is,â I glance over to Valerie whoâs smiling at me.Â
âAnd she tips pretty well soâŚâ Valerie adds, making the guy chuckle awkwardly. God I loved her. The guy is quick to back away.
âYou canât work here anymore,â I say jokingly, just meaning it the tiniest bit.
Valerie scoffs, giggling to herself. âYeah then whoâs gonna pay my rent?â
âIâll pay for everything, I got that NIL deal ma.â
-
Paige has spent hours sitting on that one stool, shooing off one guy after another trying to hit on me.Â
âYou gotta stop working here,â she repeated to me after the fifth guy had tried to take me home. Thankfully the moment the men saw Paige and realised who she was, they were quick to back off. I didnât wanna find out what might happen if they didnât.Â
âAlright Nat, you gonna be good for the night?â I ask as I take off my nametag, letting my long hair down, feeling it fall down my back.
âAll good hun! Go home, have some fun with your lady,â she grins and I chuckle.
âSpeaking of, whereâs P?â
My eyes roam the crowd, the blonde not hard to find being one of the tallest women here. To my surprise sheâs talking to a group of people - and not just any people. My best friends and roommates.
An unease takes over me, knowing that a conflict was likely to erupt unless my roomies could keep their mouths shut. I loved them dearly but once they disliked someone it was impossible to change their minds.
Taking hurried steps, preparing to diffuse the situation, to my surprise, everyoneâs laughing, including Paige, telling some sort of story about when KK locked herself out of their dorm.Â
âWhatâs going on here?â I chuckle awkwardly, the blonde immediately wrapping her arm tightly around my waist and placing a kiss on the top of my head.
âWe were thinking Paige should come to our next dinner party!â Layla says excitedly, clapping her hands together. Monthly dinner parties had become a tradition for us, the first weekend of each month dedicated to spending time together around a shared meal. It had become important, almost sacred. Warmth spreads in my chest thinking about how it was even a consideration to include my girlfriend.
âOhh Pâs gonna be in Tampa,â I realise, leaning my head against her side. âSheâs got the final games then.â
âAww no way,â some of my friends pout to my surprise, genuinely disappointed.
âThen Val canât come either,â Paige says ruffling my hair. I smooth over it quickly, shooting her a confused look.
âYouâre coming to Tampa too, right ma?â She asks.
Itâs like my heart skips a beat when her words land. The image flashes in my head, of me getting to watch my girl dominate the court and bring home the Championship if God willing. The thought alone is enough to make me emotional.
Thereâs a stupid grin on my face when I turn to Paige.
âAre you sure because last time-â
âI was stupid last time, I need you there with me. Iâll sort out the flights and hotels and tickets and everything.â
And hearing her say that means nothing short of everything.
-
Be You. Be Great.
Be You. Be Great.
I repeat the words to myself over and over in my head, a silent prayer. I look at my reflection, the navy Uconn jersey on my body for the very last time. It almost felt too small on me, I knew realistically it wasnât. But something about it felt like I was close to outgrowing it.Â
I remember my first game like it was yesterday, the way the jersey felt then, how it swallowed my lanky body. I was just a kid then, not that I felt like an adult now. But I did feel wiser. My arms and shoulders were bigger, filling out the jersey now. I was carrying my name and the number on my back for Uconn for the very last time.
âPaigeâŚâ Allie interrupts my thoughts, knocking on the wall next to me. Suddenly Iâm back in the dressing rooms, in Tampa, and sheâs watching me with a sly smile.
âSup Allie,â I grin and wrap my arm around my freshie, wanting to savour every second of these last moments I got to spend with the girls as a Husky.
âCome with meeee,â Allie smiles, pushing me towards the cubbies where all the girls are in a half circle, smiling at me. A little creepy, I think to myself as she leaves me to stand in front of the team on my own.
âUhhh is this when you kill me?â I ask with a grin, causing the girls to erupt into giggles.
âWe got you something Paigey,â Ice smiles and walks up to me, handing me a small present, wrapped in purple paper. I feel my chest tightening as I hold the neatly wrapped box in my hands, slowly starting to unwrap it.
âHOLLUP HOLLUP!â KK suddenly interrupts and runs to me holding another present, this one much less neatly wrapped, more of a pile of wrapping paper all taped together.
âItâs from me,â the girl next to me grins.
Ice and Azzi scoff. âHey we said no present of our own!â
âWell you donât love P Boogers like I do,â KK sneers and turns to me. âOpen mine first!â
âOkayy okay,â I laugh and unwrap the present in my hands, one layer of paper after another.Â
âDamn did you use a whole roll of paper for this?â I ask, peeling away.
âBe nice or Iâm taking it away,â KK scolds, giddy by my side. Finally I reach the last layers, ripping up the paper to reveal⌠furry purple handcuffs?
Before I can say anything KK has cuffed my left hand to her right one, painfully yanking my arm around as she cheers.Â
âWhat the hell???â I yelp, yanking my hand back to my side and looking at the furry cuff tightened around my wrist.
âNow you wonât leave me,â KK hums and wraps her arms around me tight. Everyone bursts into laughter, including me but I hug the girl back - she was like a little sister, this whole team was my family and Storrs was my home. I was already feeling the dread of having to say goodbye itching in the back of my mind.
âNow how we gon explain this to coach?â I chuckle, squeezing KKâs shoulder and dangling our cuffed wrists in the air.
âGuess we just gotta play like this,â she shrugs.Â
Rolling my eyes I shake my head and look across the room. âIâm gon miss so many layups today guys.â
Laughs erupt all around the room, except from beside me where KK is looking at me scoldingly.Â
âDonâ say that,â she argues and starts unlocking the cuffs, unhappy with me.
âI get to keep these tho?â I ask with a grin, my mind already going to filthy images of all the opportunities to use these on Valerie.Â
âNasty,â KK mumbles, finally freeing my hand as I grab the cuffs and the key. Returning to the neatly wrapped gift I unwrap one corner at a time, finding a navy blue jewelry case inside. Opening it I gasp, seeing three silver rings lined up in a neat row - each one a letter. BDB.
âAre you forreal,â I chuckle excitedly, my mouth falling open as the girls cheer. I carefully take them out, placing each one on the fingers of my left hand, unable to stop the huge grin on my face.
âGuysâŚâ I pout, already feeling tears forming but Jana is quick to stop me.Â
âNot yet!â
Suddenly I feel hands wrap around my waist from behind me squeezing tight. I donât need to turn around to know who it is. I can tell just by the weight of her touch.
âHey baby,â Valerie murmurs and places a kiss on my shoulder as I turn around. Immediately I wrap my arms around her waist, holding her in the air and letting my nose bury into her hair. I had seen her this morning before getting to the arena, but all day Iâd been complaining to the girls about how I wish I could see her just for a second before we start preparing for this game.Â
Valerie giggles as I spin her, finally placing her on the ground.
âDonât tell Coach or CD,â Aubrey laughs. âWe snuck her in.â
Itâs then when I notice Valerieâs outfit. A miniskirt and boots which would have driven me crazy if it wasnât for what was covering her upper body - A white Uconn jersey, with my name and number on it in big bold letters. Her face is bright, like sheâs proud to carry my name on her. Proud to be mine. And itâs at that moment the tears begin to burn in my eyes.
âYouâre wearing it,â I say weakly, a single tear rolling down my cheek.Â
âBaby why are you crying?â Valerie asks, surprised, wrapping her arms around me tight as the girls gush looking at us.
âRemember when we first met and you wouldnât wear my hoodie?âÂ
âYes, silly thatâs why Iâm wearing this. Iâm making it up for you,â she giggles and kisses my cheek before pulling away. Her hand however remains around my waist as we both turn to the team, comfortingly rubbing her thumb against my skin. All the anticipation, the nerves and the emotion were overwhelming me, heightening all my senses. I sniffle a little, turning to the girls, my family.
âWe love you Paige,â Ice says, her voice shaky with emotion. The girls nod in agreement, many meeting my level of emotion, eyes welling up and lower lips trembling. âYouâre not just a part of the team but a coach to all of us.â
âForreal thank you, for everything,â Jana adds.
âWe got it from here P,â Sarah smiles at me and it makes me feel at ease, knowing I did what I could, gave everything I had to them. That I could leave knowing I did my all, gave them all I got.
âDonât forget us in Dallas tho,â KK says as Valerie rubs my back comfortingly, knowing without words that I needed it before my emotions took over. âNow letâs get this Natty yâall!âÂ
I clap as we huddle up, all my girls around me as we hug and hype each other up, Valerie so short sheâs almost getting crushed by Jana and Aubrey jumping up and down next to her. Laughing through the tears I wrap my arm protectively around her and kiss the top of her head, inhaling her scent one more time. I had everything I needed right here to win.
-
Buzzer.
âAnd the drought has ended! The National Championship goes to Connecticut for the first time since 2016! Paige Bueckers ends her college career with 27 points in this game, leading the Huskies to a long awaited victory!â
Itâs immediate, the joy, the tears. I donât think Iâm completely in my body when me and the girls all crash into poor Geno, hugging him tight, jumping up and down around him. I let my emotions take over, letting the tears run down my cheeks. I look around and see my girls doing the same, letting their tears flow. We fought for this, we earned this. Iâm not saying it was late, but it was right on time.
When Coach turns to hug me, there are tears in his eyes too. I knew he wanted this for me as much as I did, but seeing the look on his face makes me feel it even more. After all the adversity, the injuries, the lessons life had thrown in my face - I was finally here. On the other side of it all, victorious. In that moment I realise all the setbacks made this moment a million times sweeter.Â
âYou did it kid, you deserve it,â he says into my ear and it means everything.
We finally break apart from our group hug, my mind immediately going to the one person missing. But before I can even look around, I hear her deafening cheer, her golden brown hair swaying in the air as she jumps up and down, beaming at me.Â
Before my mind thinks it through Iâm running to her, wrapping my arms around her and picking her up, my lips crashing into hers. The audience, the media, our coaching staff might as well not have been there. I didnât care who saw, or filmed or whatever else. I just won the National Championship and I needed to kiss my girl.
âPaige,â she giggles against my lips but kisses me back, her careful hands wrapping around my neck. Iâm sweaty and sticky and my face is wet with tears and this would be all over Tiktok tomorrow but we couldnât care less.
âI love you,â I gasp as I pull away, shocked to find her brown eyes welling up as she smiles at me.
âI love you so much,â she sniffles as I let her on the ground, her small hands coming to wipe tears off my face. âIâm so fucking proud of you P.â
âIâm so happy you came,â I hum, more happy tears rolling down my cheeks. âI couldnât have done it without you.â
And it was the truth. All this time I had been so worried about Valerie being a distraction, something that would cause me to fail. But now I realised she was the biggest motivator, my biggest fan. Seeing her looking at me with tears in her eyes, a grin on her face and beaming brightly made me realise winning with my girl by my side felt a million times better. The best prize I could ask for.Â
-
âYouâre supposed to swipe it,â the girl behind me mumbles, her words a little slurred from the alcohol that had been consumed at the afterparty.
âI know how to open a damn door,â I complain, just as tipsy if not more as I fumble with the card.
âHurry, P,â she whines, her hands wrapping around me from behind me as she kisses my upper back, making me see stars already.
âThatâs really not helpinâ ma,â I groan, finally getting the door open by some miracle, crashing into the hotel room I had booked for Val just a couple blocks away from our hotel. We had stayed at the afterparty as long as we physically could, but all I could think about was having this girl bent over in front of me with those purple cuffs around her wrists ever since I finished my first drink of the night. It didnât help that she was in the tightest, shortest purple dress for me, my hand itching to make its way beneath the hem.
The second the door closes Valerieâs pushing me against it, kissing my neck heatedly. I let out a moan, my hands flying to her ass, lifting the short hem out of the way. I feel her hot whimper against my skin when I grope her behind, feeling her up hungrily. Weâre both starving for each other.
Sheâs trying to pin me against the door with her smaller frame, and itâs almost pathetic how easily I flip us over, taking charge. Valerie gasps as her back presses against the door and I manoeuvre my thigh in between her legs, pressing against her core harshly as I begin to kiss her, dragging against her clit.
âFuck me,â she gasps into my mouth like a plea. I pin her against the door, both my big hands on her waist as I grind my thigh into her, already feeling a slight tremble in my legs.
âOh baby I plan to,â I tell her, kissing along her neck leaving a trail of purple marks. âGot a lotta plans for you.â
âNeed more,â the brunette whimpers, the whine in her voice driving me insane. Unable to hold back anymore myself I lift her up by her thighs with ease, throwing her onto the hotel bed.Â
âGet undressed,â I command, watching the way sheâs trying to catch her breath as I shed clothes till Iâm in black boxers and a matching sports bra. Putting on a show for me, Valerie slowly shimmies the purple dress off her body, my jaw falling slack to find no bra underneath it. But itâs the crotchless purple panties that make me groan out loud.
âYouâre such a slut,â I murmur, watching her laying on her back on the bed and spreading her legs.Â
âMmmh you like it,â she giggles. I feel my mouth watering, watching the way her pussy is glistening for me already.
âI do ma,â I murmur, dragging a finger slowly upwards from her ankle, goosebumps following my touch as I reach her knee, her thigh, her inner thigh - just ghosting where she needed me most to bring my fingers splayed on her lower stomach, watching her squirm.
âYou wanna be a good girl for me?â I ask, as if I wasnât about to fuck her no matter the answer. I can feel my boxers growing wetter as her big brown eyes look up at me, needy.
âWhatever you want baby, Iâm all yours,â she tells me. The words are music to my ears.
I lick my lips as my fingertip circles her nipple, gently tucking on it to find it quickly getting hard under my touch.Â
âShit, stay right there,â I hiss and walk to my bag, pulling out the purple furry handcuffs. Valerieâs eyes widen as she sees them, but the smile on her face tells me she approves.
âYou down?â I ask carefully, wanting to make sure. The brunette nods, eyes locked on the cuffs.
I tut at her, my hand grabbing her chin and forcing her gaze on me, dangling the cuffs in front of her like a prize.
âUse your words ma,â I encourage, the blush on Valerieâs face turning deeper, my dominance flustering the girl
âYes,â she murmurs and I smirk, brushing her now messy hair off her face. She might be feisty, always putting up a fight. But once I got her wet it was so easy to get her to submit, to let me take charge. I loved it.
âThere we go,â I praise, swiftly grabbing her wrists and cuffing them to the metal of bed frame, making sure I could celebrate my win without Valerieâs hands getting in the way.
Sheâs already squirming, too impatient to wait. Shit, so was I. I had been waiting to have my way with her all night.
I walk to the end of the bed, spreading her legs open for me, the view of her cunt in the crotchless panties driving me up the wall. Taking her ankle into my hand I begin to kiss up her leg, slowly making my way upwards to her inner thigh, leaving small marks behind.
âMmhm, PaigeâŚâ she whines.
âRelax, youâll get it,â I coo, pulling my own boxers down. âBut youâre gonna do a lil sumn for me first.â
With that I straddle Valerieâs face, feeling my need dripping down my thighs. I needed her bad, my head spinning and cunt throbbing at this point. She lets out a moan seeing me so close and soaked for her.
âPlease baby,â she whimpers, goosebumps everywhere when I feel her hot breath on my core. Sheâs trying to chase after me, her neck stretching to reach my core.
âShit, you want it?â
âSo bad please,â Valerie whines and I canât take it anymore.
My hands entangle in her hair as I lower myself onto her, Valerieâs perfect mouth beginning to work immediately.
âOh shiiiiit ma,â I groan, throwing my head back, her tongue moving back and forth in my folds just the way I liked.
âTaste so good Paige,â she moans against my clit before her plump lips wrap around it and suck, tongue circling in a way that was dizzying. I could feel the way I was getting wetter, the way I was probably making a mess all over Valerieâs face but the way she was lapping me up seemed like she was loving this as much as I was.
âSo fucking good, fuck,â I moan, tightening my grip in Valerieâs perfect brown locks and beginning to guide her mouth wherever I wanted. I could feel the muscles in my thighs begin to shake, my free hand grabbing the headboard of the bed as I ride her face.
Sheâs squirming under me, squeezing her thighs shut to seek any friction at all which only makes me groan louder. My eyes lock onto her face underneath me, scrunched up in pleasure, mouth buried in my cunt, head moving wherever I yanked it.Â
Needing more, I pull her closer, not entirely sure if she can breathe but when I feel my climax start to build, I decide I donât care.
âJust like that Valerie,â I praise, my voice and body shaking now as Iâm literally grinding myself against her face, my cunt throbbing as I feel myself near the edge. I hear her muffled moans, feel the vibrations against me as my eyes squeeze shut, my orgasm taking over.
âOh shit, Val,â I groan, pulling her impossibly close. âThatâs it, fuck, thatâs it.â
The pleasure ripples over me, coming in waves as I come against Valerieâs face, watching the way her pretty hands are grabbing onto the handcuffs decorating her wrists. I grip her hair tight, pulling on it as I moan.
âDamn,â I exhale, my chest heaving as I lift myself off her. Valerieâs face is glistening with my mess, and sheâs hungrily licking it off her lips, arching her back, a feeble attempt to tell me one and only thing - she needs to be touched. Bad.
âNow lemme eat this pussy,â I tell her, my mouth already watering as I crawl between her legs, wrapping my arms around her thighs to lift them on my shoulders. And I dive in. I had been waiting all night for this.
A loud moan escapes Valerieâs lips as my tongue works her, slow licks from her entrance to her clit as to clean her up. The taste of her makes me moan out loud, her arousal dripping out of her already, before I had barely touched her.
âThis wet already huh? You like watching me play that bad?â I hum against her, watching the way sheâs squirming, the way her hands are already tucking at the cuffs - desperate to grab my head and pull me closer.
âPaige, moreeee,â she cries, trying to buck her hips closer but unable to do anything else with the way she was stuck to the bed. Her helplessness only made me wanna drag it out for longer.
âAnswer the question,â I demand my tongue now circling her entrance menacingly, licking upwards and repeating.Â
She huffs and whines frustratedly. âLike watching you win.â
Good answer.
That moment I bury myself into her pussy, beginning to flick my tongue over her clit at an impossible speed, quickly overwhelming her. My eyes squeeze shut as I alternate between sloppy laps on her pussy and precise circles on her clit, Valerieâs thighs quickly closing in on my head as she writhes, handcuffs clanking against the metal of the bed frame. Her moans and the sinful sounds my mouth is making as I eat her fill the hotel room.
âPaige right there oh fuck,â she nearly screams, the alcohol in her system making her more bold. I keep eating her out, tasting every inch of her. Fuck I could never get enough, I was drunk off her pussy. I wanted to be for the rest of my fucking life.
âI gotchu mama,â I moan against her, keeping up my movements until her moans turn high pitched, and I can tell sheâs on the edge. Reaching up, I take her nipples in between my fingers, fondling them as I keep moving my tongue back and forth on her clit at a rapid pace.
âShit, shit shit,â sheâs gasping now, back arching high as she releases all over my tongue, making me groan in response. My head is buried in her cunt, coaxing her through the orgasm.Â
-
Iâm only starting to come down from my orgasm when Paige pulls back and suddenly two of her fingers slide inside me, quickly beginning to pump in and out.
âWait, no, too much,â I gasp, doing everything I could to pull my hands free but it was no use. Her hand doesnât slow down despite my whining. A loud moan spills from between my lips, the stretch completely overwhelming my sensitive cunt.
âNeed one more from you Val,â Paige praises, watching the way I swallow her fingers up closely. âGonna feel so good I promise.â
I cry out, my eyes welling with tears at the overwhelming sensation, Paigeâs long and nimble fingers curving inwards against my walls, making me even throb around her.
âOhh shit thatâs it,â she gasps, repeating the movement and feeling me throb once more. âCan fucking feel it.â
I squirm, legs shaking and closing around her but she pries them open with ease, the bicep in her right arm flexing as she pumps in faster, the veins of her hands popping more prominently. The wet sounds coming from inside me fill the room - almost embarrassingly loud.
âToo much,â I whine. Without stopping her movements, Paige climbs up to face me from between my legs, grabbing my jaw, licking her lips.
âYou said whatever I want before,â she reminds me, her voice stern, demanding. âYouâre gon take it ma.â
My eyes flutter shut, the mix of her words and her fingers moving at an overwhelming speed making my mind spin. I keep yanking on the cuffs, not because I think Iâll get free, but because I donât know what to do with my hands, immense pleasure taking over my body.
âSo fucking perfect,â Paige murmurs, still holding my face as she adds a third finger, the stretch now enough to make my whole body tremble. âCould fuck this pussy forever.â
âOpen your mouth,â she coos and I do as Iâm told, too weak to even think for myself. To think of anything but the way Paigeâs fingers are stretching me out, the squelching sound filling my ears as she pounds them into me.
Paige leans down to kiss me, her tongue meeting mine before our lips crash. She still tastes like a mix of me and herself. I keep moaning, my mouth wide open as she kisses around it, cussing to herself.
âShit, so fucking tight for me huh?â
âPaige,â I plead, unsure of what for when my back arches and I feel my walls tighten, squeezing Paigeâs fingers. She feels it too, letting out a groan. My hips are squirming uncontrollably, forcing Paige to pin me back down against the bed, hand pressing hard on my lower stomach as she sits up to finger me even faster.
The pressure on my abdomen and the rapid speed make my eyes roll back, my climax building impossibly strong.Â
âIâm so close, oh shi-â Iâm gasping for air, mind spinning, Paigeâs cussing the only anchor to the moment as I throb around her, teetering right on the edge.
âTell me youâre my girl baby,â Paige moans, making me nod desperately.
âIâm your girl, shit, all yours.â
âThatâs right, my good girl.â
With that, the orgasm washes over me, Paigeâs fingers pressing against my walls, creating such an intense stretch I swear Iâm on the verge of blacking out. My moans are deafening as my back arches uncontrollably, Paigeâs other hand remaining on my stomach. The waves of pleasure are incredibly intense as I mewl and release with force, the world going black for a second.
Iâm brought back by the blondeâs fingers sliding out, leaving an uncomfortable emptiness within me. I let out a whine, feeling sweat dripping down my neck, the sheets sticking to my skin. I donât open my eyes until Paige has unlocked the handcuffs, carefully caressing over my wrists and kissing them as she pulls a blanket over me.
âValerie?âÂ
âYeah?â I whisper, still attempting to catch my breath.
âYou alive mama?â Paige grins as my eyes slowly flutter open, watching her bring me water and a small present wrapped with a blue paper and white ribbon.
âJust about,â I mumble, shimmying up the bed to lean against the pillows behind me. I felt completely fucked out - and surely looked it. Paige certainly did, straight hair that had been down now tangled at the back but her usual braids still perfectly in place, mascara flaking underneath her eyes.
âWhatâs that?â I ask, eyeing the gift in the blondeâs hand. She chuckles and offers me a bottle of water.
âDrink a lil first, donât want you to pass out,â she laughs as she climbs over me to the other side of the bed. Deciding she was probably right, I throw my head back and chuck some of the water, feeling the cold liquid make its way down.
âI gotchu a lil something,â Paige starts, handing the present to me. I take it with both hands, eyes flickering between it and the blondeâs bright blue eyes.Â
âNo, I should be the one getting you a gift, you kidding?â I ask, but Paige leans over, her big hand pressing against my cheek as she kisses me.
âI already got my gift,â she murmurs against my lips. Usually I wouldâve made a comment about her corny line, but today I couldnât. I knew exactly what she meant. âOpen it.â
Slowly I unwrap the gift, finding a small box inside. I furrow my brows in confusion, but grin.
âGirl you better not be proposing because I think itâs a lil early,â I joke, making Paige let out a heartfelt laugh.
âJust open the damn box,â she complains, watching me closely. I do as Iâm told, finding inside a little golden charm. Eyeing it closer, I realise itâs the number 5.
âFor your bracelet,â Paige says. I let out a shaky breath, bringing the box closer to my face. It was beautiful, but what it meant was even more important to me. What it might signify.
âPaigeâŚâ I sigh contentedly, watching as the blonde with great care holds my wrist and places the charm on the gold bracelet that I wore, each day of my life. Now decorated with a golden 5. My girlâs 5.
Our eyes meet and we wrap our arms around each other, soft kisses between us as we lie down on the bed, Paige pulling me on her chest.
âI love you Valerie,â she hums, fingertips playing with the ends of my brown hair.
âI love you too,â I murmur against her lips, placing soft kisses all over them. Nuzzling my nose, the blonde pulls back. I watch her blue eyes, the way they twinkle in the dim hotel room. My national champion, my winner, my Paige. All mine.
âCome to Dallas with me,â she whispers, a surprising sureness in her voice.
Batting my eyes, I pull back. âWhat?â
She grabs my hand in hers and kisses my fingers, one by one.Â
âDonât make me go without you,â she pleads. âAt least come and stay for the summer, and then we can think about what we do.â
âBut what about school? I still got a year left PâŚâ I remind her but she shakes her head.
âJust for the summer, and then if you hate it you can come back and I wonât even complain,â the blonde puts her hand up. âScouts honor.â
Taking it all in, my chest fills with affection. She really wanted me with her.
âYou forreal?â I ask carefully, making Paige grin.
âVal, Ion wanna even think about life without you. I canât be away from you,â she says, pulling me into another kiss. This one is slow, meaningful. Telling me she means every word - and I trust it. I trust her.
âWeâre gonna make this work no matter what,â she whispers, nose nuzzling into mine. âGonna need you there for all my wins.â
I can already see it. Me sitting courtside, watching her win game after game, fulfilling her destiny with me by her side. Having her come home to me, waking up next to her every morning. Perhaps for the rest of my life.Â
So thereâs nothing else I can do but agree. There were no other options I could fathom. I would go to the ends of the earth for her. And it feels incredible to trust - to know - that she would do the same for me. Itâs in the twinkle of her eye when she looks at me, the way her hands always find my waist, how her voice lowers and softens when whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I didnât need words from her. I knew all of it without.
-
ily guys
taglist: @thaatdigitaldiary @wbbismypassion69 @bueckersfive @onlyhereforpazzi @lovegalor333 @frankoceanlvr303039 @pb524830 @angryflowerwitch@mamixdanni @rosemariiaa @d3arapril @vbueckers @sageworld @makethemhoesmad @sierrale8ne @oreo2sblog @slvt4her @julieloveswbb@vsz333 @faeries-posts @vamptizm @ellapurnellmybeloved @ivorygoal @onlyhereforpazzi@thelightknight21@paigeluvvr@absolutelydreadful@imamartini@lupinqs@authenticgirl03@isurpussygreen@xxloveralways14 @numberonepartyanth3m
#too lost in you#lilas writing#paige bueckers#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers x female oc#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers fanfiction#wnba x oc
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[tfp] optimus prime x human!reader
summary: optimus handles the "would you still love me if i was a worm?" question a little too well
cw: fem!human!reader, fluff, optimus is fucking obsessed with you, bad writing, silliness
word count: 545
"Optimus?" you asked, breaking the silence.
Behemoth stopped working on his datapad, giving you his full attention. His private quarters were dimly lit, except for the soft blue glow of his patient optics, illuminating your figure, comfortably seated on his desk. Wrapped in a blanket and lying on the cozy couch that Optimus had personally brought in for you, you felt safe.
"Yes, my dearest?"
You couldn't quite explain what compelled you to speak the words that began to slip from your lips. Perhaps you just needed some validation in that moment, or maybe you were feeling a little down and wanted a mood boost. Whatever it was, it took over.
"Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
"What is a 'worm'?"
Embarrassment washed over you. You shouldn't have said anything (even if part of you was curious to see how he would respond).
It didnât help that he was staring at you with those big, puppy-like optics, patiently waiting for an explanation. Oh God, he took it completely seriously. It shouldnât have surprised you, knowing who you were dealing with, but this wasnât the kind of question to take seriously. You would've been thrilled if he just said a simple "yes."
You cleared your throat.
"Ermm, well, you know..."
He absorbed every word like a sponge, analyzing, debating within himself to find the right response, unaware of your sudden awkwardness. He didnât consider your question childish; he wanted to give you an honest answer that reflected his feelings.
After several seconds of silence (though to you it felt like hours), his mouth moved, and the reply that came out was one you never expected.
"I would build you a large garden with the richest soil in the universe, decorate it with your favorite flowers and plants, so you could enjoy the view before you when you decide to leave your shelter. I would visit you at every free moment, sharing updates about life, discussing human craft that recently captivated me. At night, I would carefully lift you onto my servo, so we could gaze at the radiance of the night sky together. I would treat you as my equal, with unchanged gentleness, affection, and devotion, admiring your beauty beyond your physical form, speaking to your soul. And just as I do now, I would be devoted to you, ready to answer your every cry, gesture, and request, overjoyed simply by being able to help. I would love you as a worm, a plant, a stick, or a stone, nurturing my love for you until my final days, faithful only to you."
The look of astonishment on your face made him a little concerned.
"[Your name], is everything alright? Did I say something inappropriate?"
"Wow..." not the most eloquent response, but your brain was too fried to come up with anything better. You blinked a few times to regain your composure, but it didnât stop the blush from spreading across your face. "That was... beautiful. No, really, I didnât expect such a powerful answer."
Optimus surprised you again by sending a gentle smile your way, softening the metal contours of his face. And then, whether consciously or not, he fired a return shot.
"And would you still love me if I was a worm?"
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PAC 18+: How they view you and their Sexual Thoughts
Random pictures, no theme. choose what your intuition guides you to do. We will cover, How do the person on your mind view you as a person generally & sexuality wise. Also their sexual thoughts about you.
Pile One:
Pulling your tarot first, I got the star, 8 of cups, 10 of swords, and 5 of swords. Which is ironic for the most emo picture pile lol. This is for how they view you. you might have a fear of abandonment, you might get played, led on, bad luck, loss hopes. Be Down all the time, pessimistic perspective or experiences. Playing the victim, being the victim of life. Someone that had bad mental health, and may have avoidant attachment, where you could up and leave, detached. Definitely looks at you as someone who either comes and goes with them or life in general, every card except 8 of cups which is the pirate, and one that leaves has wings on it. Been through a lot and trying to fill a void, or some type of happiness, achievement. Being hopeful, and faithful. Someone always trying to find better for themself even when down.
Pulling oracle, I got Self Assurance(Sacral Chakra) and Pele (Solar Plexus). Orange and yellow aura. Purple and blue can also be significant in someone style or favorite color. This self assurance card, she has a hoodie on with black eyeliner, bangs, while pele raises up the moon coming up from a volcano, bursting into this yellow atmosphere. You are an individual to this person. Comfortable in your skin, connected with yourself. Confident, Passionate and Desire, Powerful and Transformative. Authentic, Assured. Firey. Could be fun, intense, loud, definitely bold in some way. Creative energy, artistic, musical. Sexually open, liberated, free?
They view you sexually as someone who may have worth, be of high value of someway, and them being a spark like a passionate, sexual, firey, dominant man. Or they view this as your sexuality, and sexual dynamic you may like. Fun and free, but stable and committed. They see you as probably submissive, someone who likes to serve and give yourself. Someone who is maybe a quiet freak, runaway and have sex, need for privacy. Probably like to go on vacations, do it in the car, travel for sex. Maybe into candles, or dimmed lights, or lights. Someone who may overcame a lot in hookup culture, don't have to be a hoe, but learned a lot. have a different perspective on sex. Omg, for the pile two picture to be a living room, i am channeling living room flow by jhene aiko for this pile. lol. "its whatever you want, i want to please you most, whatever turns you on. you are so creative the way that your making love to me, you do me, like no one ever done it, that is all i wanted. not your heart or love, do what you do to my body, i just want to fuck." something like that.
Their sexual thoughts about you is conquering you as a sneaky link. getting sexual access to you and slutting you out. relax you, take you in. may be a third party involved, group setting or three some?? omg but their sexual desire for you is strong and maybe a desire for commitment, relationship, or long term. you turn this person on, they think about getting freaky with you. going somewhere to fuck. being this person you come to for something, to be taught, loved, secured, guided. they want to see you bent over in their bed, laying behind you in the bed, spooning. they want to feel you, intimacy with you, sex with you all night, over and over again. they think about straight up sex. a lot of sexual cards came out. they want you to be theirs, foreal foreal. love your side profile, may want to do a lot to your legs during sex, touch them, caress, put them in different positions. hips to, your arch. they want to eat you all up, and kiss on every part of you, pleasing you sensually in every way. they want to overcome obstacles with you sexually, lol, make love.
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Pile two.
You got 3 of cups, 6 of wands, the devil, page of swords. How they view you? Some keywords, not all has to resonate. popular, party person, likes things like sex and drugs. thrilling, rebellious things. thot, cocky, thrill/pleasure seeking, attached, addict, obsessed. shining, attention getter, victorious. Curious, communicator, funny, dark mind, dark humor, dark thoughts, in the clouds, airy, open minded, thoughtful, learner, listener. Social media, texting, calls, emails.
Universal Understanding (Solar Plexus) Sacred Learning (Third Eye). Sees you as very intelligent, sharp minded, wise. understands, and can see others, probably psychological. angel eyes, acceptance of others or dont judge people. Wisdom through experience, spiritual growth. Sharp eye!!!! Open third eye! and sharp mind with stuff to say.
They view you sexually as a very feminine, nurturing energy. whos on their level, an empress to an emperor. very loving, and caring. someone who likes to work together in the bed, help each other. put effort in. connect with the other person. create and build on one another. maybe some toxic, drama involved, chaos maybe. likes to celebrate one another, fight with each other.
Their sexual thoughts about you. One part is very loving, intimate, romantic bonding sex. They want to love you, feel loved by you. take it slow, learn and explore your body. admire you and take in your beauty. then another side of them is kind of wanting to take you down, tap you out. Where you kind of let them see this new side of them, and they have full control over you even if your like a victim, like your helpless. handcuffs, holding your hands. using their strength, to kind of hurt you, like a pain and pleasure thing. and wont mind if you dominate them and use strength and confidence.
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Pile three
They see you as this ball of energy whos like sneaky, and gets away with things. goes with the flow, lucky with time. akeakeake hopping around sneaking like a ghost, moving with fate. but you have this youthful, playful, fun, adrenaline, passionate energy in you that's ready to explore. take on adventures. they see you as someone who may steal or be sneaky to find security or control within your life. if your confused or stuck. they may see you as a rebel who does what they want on their own desires. they may see you as slightly immature.
They may see you as someone who is social, good with the world, in public environments. can connect to people. or this is maybe how they see you with them, connective, receptive, chill and cool. centered and grounded. maybe someone who goes through lessons in the physical realm, and has these spiritual awakenings, clarity moments, ephianys. Someone who has a good heart, and connected to everyone around them, very connected to nature, yourself. Mind, Body and Soul Balanced.
They view you as a erotic, have you sent them nudes, made a sex tape. they view you as someone who is good in the bed, and may could give good head. You may get your heartbroken, but you overcome, and challenge and travel through them. You may like that sexual dynamic, where they feel bad for you or something, or maybe you want to know how they will hurt you. some emotional kink that involves pain. (this is how they view you) they view you as maybe a cheater though, someone who could sneak around.
Their sexual thoughts, they like it when you know what your doing, and they know what their doing, and you help each other, and go fast. they like it when you guys are transparent, honest, clear. they like to cum, nut, squirt, any liquid of pleasure, and maybe being on top of you, hugging you, connecting and bonding. wanting to have sex to bond and heal things within the connection.
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#18+ pick a card#18+ pac#18+ tarot#pick a picture#pick a card#pick a photo#pick a pile#pick a deck#pick a card reading#pick a crystal#pac tarot#pac reading#tarot deck#tarot reading#tarot cards#tarot#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#daily tarot#tarot community#tarotdaily#divination#astrologer#astrology readings#asteroids#astro community#astrology signs#astrology#astrology community#astrology notes
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Controversially Young Girlfriend (part six)
Hugh Jackman x popstar!readerÂ
series masterlist & main masterlist
summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men.Â
warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns, sexual themes.
warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. I do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything!! <3
authors note: y'all this part absolutely drained me. Idk what it was but I felt so stuck when writing this. I got it to a point where I can start part seven fresh, so fingers crossed whatever happened here doesn't happen again. I hope you all still enjoy it lol <33
part six: because I love you
Waking up in Hughâs arms was heaven. He was still asleep when you first opened your eyes, his soft snores tickling your ear. You were grateful that he didnât have those loud old man snores like some of your past lovers had, though you were sure you wouldnât mind if he did. Gently lifting the arm that was wrapped around your waist, you carefully rolled over to face him. As you studied his resting face, you felt overcome with a deep sentiment of gratitude. He was just as handsome asleep as he was awake. The face that almost always carried a smile was at peace, lips slightly ajar. You adored his face, the deep lines showing a life of joy and laughter. Each nook and cranny aging him beautifully over the years. It made you sad in a way. You wished you could have experienced life with him, wanting nothing more than to have the ârightâ life with him. A life where your relationship with Hugh made sense and was accepted- but you would gladly take whatever time you could get with him.Â
You placed your hand on his cheek, sliding your fingers delicately over the course hairs that covered his jaw. Your chest felt warm. The feelings you had for the man who slept so deeply before you had grown stronger than youâd anticipated, but Hugh made it so easy to fall for him. And you had fallen for him, you knew that now. If one thing for certain came out of this time youâd spent with Hugh, it was that you were unbelievably in love with him. You had always found yourself falling too fast for the wrong people but you had good faith that for once it would be right. For once, you wouldnât get hurt. You trusted him to protect your heart and to do right by you. You knew he would.Â
As much as you wanted to stay and count every wrinkle that laid upon his face, you had to pee really bad. You gave him a soft kiss on the tip of his nose and wiggled slowly out of his grip. You gave him one last look over before heading down the hall to the bathroom. As you sat there, memories of the night before danced around your mind. The way he kissed you, touched you. He made you feel like you were worth something. It was a feeling you werenât used to, always feeling used by other men and deep down you know that all you were to them was just some young girl to fuck. You never actually meant anything to them. Hugh was different. Being with him felt right. You couldnât find any other words to describe the feeling. He hadnât brought you here to have sex, for once it was you who had made that decision. He bought you flowers and a cake to congratulate you on an achievement that no one else cared to celebrate with you. He cared for you in some capacity and it made you feel horrible, because even with all this confirmation, you still had doubts.
Youâve been fighting a secret battle since the moment he kissed you, the moment everything between you changed. Putting what you were feeling into words felt impossible. What you did know though, is that you were terrified that you wouldnât be enough for him. Scared that he would snap out of whatever daze he was in and miss the life he had with his wife and kids, the life that didnât involve you. The life that made sense.Â
When you walk back to the bedroom you find Hugh sitting up with his back against the headboard, scrolling through his phone. His glasses were perched on the lower bridge of his nose, threatening to fall off any moment. His eyes peaked over the frames as he turned to look at you. âMorning baby. I was just about to text you, thought you left.â He sets his phone down on the bedside table as he speaks. âMhm, just had to pee.â You walk over to the bed and climb up, straddling Hughâs lap. âWhy didnât you use this one?â He jerks his head to the bathroom thatâs attached to the room and you shrug. âI donât know. The vibes of the thirst trap bathroom just feel different.â You joke. âYouâre never gonna let me live that down, huh?â He asks, smirking slightly. You shake your head. âAbsolutely not.â You affirm and it makes Hugh chuckle. âI was wondering if you had any plans for your last day in the big apple?â His hands rest on your exposed thighs and you become all too aware that youâre still butt ass naked under his t-shirt. âUhh, not really. I was actually gonna ask if I could hang out with you todayâŚâ Your voice is shy. âI was really hoping youâd say that. I might have planned a few things for us.â Hugh smiles and you could feel excitement flood your body. âMay I have insight on said plans kind sir?â You put on a posh voice that Hugh mimics. âIâm afraid not my lady, for each destination today is to be undisclosed until further notice.â You drop the bit but not without letting out a deep belly laugh at Hughâs impressively good accent change. âCan I at least have a little hint so I know what to wear?â He thinks for a moment. âIâm giving you the proper New York tourist day, so wear something comfy.â He pauses. âMaybe wear something incognito. It might be harder to hide than it was the other day.â You hum in acknowledgment. âDo you think I could borrow some underwear or something? Iâm feeling a little exposed.â Hugh laughs.Â
Your fingers picked at the basketball shorts he let you borrow, tying the strings over and over again as Hugh made breakfast. Small conversation filled the large space and the domesticality of the situation made you flustered. âIâm kinda nervy about the tour. Are you gonna come support me on opening night?â Heâs whisking the eggs in a small bowl with a fork and it was oddly attractive. âAs long as my schedule allows it, I'll be there. I'd be at every show if I could be.â He looks up and sets the bowl down. âIâd do a lot of things for you, probably anything.â He adds before he turns around to start one of the gas stove burners. It ticks a few times before it catches. âThatâs a lot of power to hold and you definitely messed up by telling me that.â You hold your hands up, each finger touching, as you wiggle them in an evil manner. Hugh looks back at you from where heâs moving the eggs around in the pan and smiles. âDonât get too excited. I said probably anything.â You drop your hands and shrug. âThatâs a lot more than I'm used to.â He turns back to the eggs. âHas anyone ever treated you the way you deserve?â The question takes you aback. âIâm not trying to be meanâŚAfter hearing some of the things you say and seeing how Pedr-..how he treated you, Iâm not seeing anything good. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm confused on how a girl like you has never had anyone treat you right.â He plates the eggs and oils the pan to drop the turkey bacon as if he didnât drop such a big observation onto you.Â
âI uh-...Iâm not really sure what to sayâŚI mean I guess I havenât really had a guy care about me all too much.â He turns to you, staying close to the stove. âIâm sorry if that made you uncomfortable. I shouldnât have said anything.â You shrug. âI mean youâre not wrong. Everyone always seems to give up on me before anything serious happensâŚbut hey thatâs the price of being famous and having my taste in men I guess.â He flips the bacon. âI donât know how I feel being your taste in men then. They arenât really setting a good reputation.â He jokes but it stings a little. âEh. I think youâre doing a lot better than any of them ever did. Youâre sweet and kindâŚand unbelievably sexy.â You tried to steer the conversation away from its original content. It works, Hugh laughs. âYou should go take a picture in the mirror again and post it. Your fans would love it.â He takes the bacon off of the pan and sets the pieces on a paper towel lined plate. âI didnât post that for the fans babe. I posted that for you.â Your jaw drops and you draw a dramatic gasp. âI knew it was a thirst trap. Yâknow next time you can just send it to me instead of posting it on instagram. Iâd love a few more to add to my collection.âÂ
âYour collection?â He cocks an eyebrow up and you ignore his question. âDo you need my help with anything? I feel kinda useless just sitting here.â You ask as Hugh pulls out a container of strawberries. âItâs okay baby, I got it.â You hum, fingers going back to the strings on your shorts. Hugh washes a handful of berries and dries them one by one. âYouâre good at changing the conversation.â He mumbles and lets out a small huff of a laugh. âI donât know what youâre talking about.â You look at him with an innocent face. Heâs silent for a moment, the only sound being the soft knocks of the knife hitting the cutting board. You watched as each slice of the strawberry fell over as Hugh worked. His hands stop for a moment and you look up at him, catching his eyes. âI just want you to know that Iâm here for you and that I truly care for you.â His eyes focus back onto the cutting board. âI know that.â You mumble. âThen let that be a reminder. I want to hear the things youâve been through. I want to know everything about you so I can be the best version of myself for you.â You didnât know what to say, so instead you hopped out of the chair and hugged him.
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After breakfast and after you followed Hugh around like a lost puppy while he got ready for the day, he drove you back to your hotel so you could do the same. You were frantically walking back and forth as you got ready, packing your suitcase as you went along. Hugh was sprawled out on the bed, scrolling through his phone. You picked out a pair of baggy black denim cargo pants to wear but you couldnât decide between the classic âi love new yorkâ t-shirt you bought your first day here or a maroon turtleneck. âWhich one should I wear? Iâm leaning towards the new york one but I feel like thatâs too touristy you know?â You start speaking as you walk out of the bathroom and hold up both shirts. âIf I wear the turtleneck then I can probably get away with not wearing a jacket and I can also wear the converse I have that are in the same color.â You stand at a mirror that is in the hallway, putting each shirt over your chest, comparing them. When Hugh doesnât answer, you turn to see him staring at you. âHugh did you hear anything I just said?â Heâs sat up on the bed now, no longer in the starfish position he was once in. âWear the new york one baby. You wonât be a tourist forever. Thereâs only a matter of time before the city becomes familiar.â He explains. âMm. Good point. Thank you babe.â You throw the turtleneck on your open suitcase and just as you're about to throw the simple graphic tee over your head, Hugh speaks. âWait..donât put that on yet. Câmere.â The last part is mumbled as he holds his hands out for you.Â
You set your shirt down as you walk over to him. Both his arms snake around your waist as soon as you step between his thick thighs. âYou look delicious right now.â His arms loosen as he pulls you back, taking in your appearance. âIs me not wearing a shirt, turning you on Hugh?â You tease. You almost forgot that you were only walking around in a simple black t-shirt bra. It lifted your boobs surprisingly well for the style and you could tell it was getting to Hugh. âWhat if I said it was?â He asks, eyes moving from your chest to your face. âIf this gets you going too easily, youâre gonna struggle when you see the outfits I perform in.â You laugh. âMhm. Iâm excited.â He growls with a smirk before plunging his head towards your cleavage, kissing up and down the exposed skin. âYouâre such a hornball.â You let out in your fit of laughter. He rests his face in the crook of your boobs. You can hear him mumbling something but you canât make out the words. âBabe, I have no idea what youâre saying right now.â He reluctantly pulls his face back. âI said that we could always stay in today insteadâŚWanna get another taste of you.â His hands grip your waist and you feel a pulse between your legs from his words.Â
âAs tempting as that isâŚand itâs really really tempting. I wanna go out with you today, have some normality before life goes back to normal tomorrow. Maybe weâll have time before my flightâŚfor what you said.â He smiles and pats your butt. âOkay baby. Finish getting ready so we can go.â You lean down with puckered lips, meeting Hughâs in a sweet kiss. âIâll be ready in like fifteen minutes.â You promise as you pick your shirt up and run back into the bathroom.Â
Somehow in the short time it took you to get ready, Hugh convinced you to let him take you to the airport. You tried to refuse since you already had accommodations made for the early 3:30am flight but he fought back. He said that it would be easier and we could spend more time together before I left. You agreed, wanting to spend every single last second with the man you loved. He threw your suitcase in the trunk of his car and the two of you were off on whatever adventure Hugh had planned.Â
The first stop was at Battery park to see the Statue of Liberty. Hugh surprised you with a ferry ride that took you from the park to Liberty island, then Ellis island. You thanked Hugh non-stop as you boarded the ferry. You were a big history nerd and being able to be around objects and buildings that have existed for many generations of people before you, excited you to your core. Hugh was watching your thrill with a smile, sneaking pictures of you when he could- you never noticed. You did ask him to take a few pictures of you as the ferry moved right in front of lady liberty herself. Your smile was wide, eyes crinkled behind your sunglasses. Hugh held you close the entire time, kissing the top of your head every now and then. He would take you all over the world if it meant he got to see you this happy all the time.Â
The whole exploration took about four hours. You were very thorough in your wanding, not wanting to miss a single detail. You apologized to Hugh every time you felt like you were taking too long but he never seemed annoyed or upset, just happy to be with you. Once you were back on the mainland, the two of you were starving and started to discuss places to eat. âI think that Stardust place would be fun but I heard itâs almost impossible to get in.â You donât mean for it to sound like it was something you really wanted to do. You were just thinking out loud. âI can get us in there baby.â Hugh says, shrugging his shoulders. âHugh JackmanâŚare you telling me youâd name drop yourself for me?â You smile. âI told you, anything for you sweetheart.â He raises your intertwined hands to his face, leaving a kiss on yours. âAs sweet as that is, I could probably name drop myself and get in.â You smile. âItâs probably not smart for you to go into a place full of theater nerds anyway since youâve been on Broadway multiple times or whatever.â You joke. âYouâre probably right. I am quite the Broadway star.â He jokes back. âFuck it. Letâs just get pizza again. I've only a tourist for so long, remember?â âFuck it.â He agrees.Â
You find a different pizza shop this time, waiting in the car while Hugh goes in to order. You spent the time looking through your phone. You saw a few texts from Ashley and it made your heart ache. She was a terrible friend but you still grieved the good times you did have. Once you got back home, you knew it was probably for the best to talk to her, settle everything, and get some closure. You thought a lot about loose ends you needed to tie as you entered this new chapter of your life, Pedro being one of them as well. You wanted as clean of a slate you could get as you moved forward with Hugh.Â
âGod I didnât realize how hungry I was until I walked in there.â Hugh says as he opens the driver door, sitting two styrofoam cups in the center console drink holders. âDo you mind holding this for a moment sweetheart?â He asks, holding up a small box that had a large brown paper bag sitting on top. You grab it and Hugh climbs into the car. âWould it be too cliche if we ate this at the great lawn?â You ask with a lazy grin. âMaybe a little bit but it sounds like a great idea darling.â He smiles back.Â
The drive to Central Park was a short one. Finding a parking spot however, took awhile. Hugh drove through one of the nearby parking garages, going up and down until he finally caught someone pulling out. When the two of you finally reached the lawn, you were a little nervous at the amount of people there but you put it aside, hoping that your sunglasses would be enough to hide you from any possible fans. You found a spot, farther away from the larger crowds. It was peaceful for the most part, both Hugh and yourself to engaged in conversation and eating to care about anything else. When you were both done eating, you scooted closer to Hugh, who then offered you to sit between his legs as he leaned back. Your back was against his chest, lifting with every breath he took. âThis is nice.â You say, looking up at Hugh. âIt is.â He agrees, kissing your forehead. When you look forward again, a girl catches your eye. Sheâs sitting not too far off and sheâs staring. It makes your heart stop, afraid that she might have recognized you or Hugh. Your suspicion is proved right, her eyes go wide and she lifts her phone, pointing it directly in your direction. âBabe, I think that girl is recording us.â You nudge Hugh slightly to get his attention. He looks in the girl's direction and sighs. âLetâs get out of here.â The two of you walk back to the car, hand in hand.Â
âDo you wanna go home or are you still up for one more adventure?â Hugh asks once youâre both settled in the car. The way he says âhomeâ makes your heart flutter. You know itâs probably out of habit but it makes you wonder what sharing a home with him would be like, how being with him officially would be. âIâm down for more touristing.â You smile, trying to let go of the bitter mood that girl had put you in. You didnât mind fans recognizing you but it always sucked when a good moment was taken away because of it- a moment that would have been normal if you and Hugh were ânormalâ people.Â
The sun was starting to set as Hugh drove and it was beautiful. Seeing the city lights take over was a sight to see. âI thought we were going somewhere else?â You ask in confusion as Hugh pulls into the parking garage of his apartment building. âWe are but I thought we could walk, if thatâs okay with you love. Itâs not too far.â He parks the car in his designated spot. âYea thatâs fine.â His hand squeezes your thigh, a place it often sits as he drives. âLetâs go then.âÂ
You were convinced there wasnât anything more beautiful than walking through New York at night. You were never fond of big cities, only living in Los Angeles because you had to for work, but something about nyc brings a sense of home youâve never felt before. Almost like a sense of nostalgia, a longing for a place that felt right.Â
The last stop happened to be Times Square. The second you found a good spot, you passed your phone over to Hugh to take pictures of you. It was a little over stimulating the longer you stood there, admiring all of the giant screens and billboards. You tried to tough it out as long as possible but your last straw was when some guy in a janky super hero suit tried to come up to you. Hugh was quick to grab you and lead you away. âI canât make up my mind on whatâs worse, the con artist in Hollywood or the ones here.â You joke, Hugh laughs agreeing. The streets started to empty the further away you got from the square and you were thankful for that. As you walked hand in hand with Hugh, you started to hum the melody of âNew York, New Yorkâ by Frank Sinatra. Hugh smiles down at you and releases your hand to pull you closer, his arm resting over your shoulder. âOoo. Can we go in there real quick?â You ask, pointing at the small grocery market across the street. âSure baby.â You can tell heâs confused so you answer his question before he can ask. âI wanna make dinner for you.â You look both ways down the street before crossing. âYou donât have to do that sweet girl.â The sliding doors open and youâre hit with the cool air. âI want to.â He doesnât say anything else as he follows you around the store. When you hit the produce section, you lift the sunglasses that had been sitting on your face for most of the day, creating a makeshift headband. You gather a mix of yukon gold and baby red potatoes, as well as a few carrots and a stock of broccoli. âWhat are you making?â Hugh asks as you walk towards the meat shelves, grabbing a pack of two chicken breasts. âA spicy, maple chicken sheet pan dinner.â You explain, walking towards the next aisle. âA sheet pan dinner?â He questions. âYou throw everything onto the same pan, shove it in the oven, and boom, you have dinner.â He laughs. âI guess that makes sense.âÂ
Hugh insisted on paying for everything but you refused. He had paid for almost everything else since youâve been in New York and you had to remind him that you too had too much money than you knew what to do with. He complained about it the whole way back to his apartment, it was kinda cute. When you finally got back, you asked Hugh to gather everything youâd need: a cutting board, a large bowl, a peeler, a colander, etc. You wanted to make sure you had everything so he could sit and watch, just as you had with him this morning. âI could get used to this.â You look up from where you're mixing the veggies and seasoning in a bowl. âWhat, me cooking for you?â You ask, sarcasm present in your voice. âNo, you being here with me.â Hugh smiles. âOh..â You whisper as you dump the prepped veggies onto the parchment lined sheet pan. âWas that too forward?â Youâre patting the chicken with a paper towel and placing them in the same bowl as he asks. âNo. I like when you say stuff like that, it just makes me all nervous.â You drizzle the chicken in olive oil and add your choice of seasonings. âWhy does it make you nervous?â His elbows are on the counter, hands resting in his hands. âBecause someone like you likes someone like me, itâs crazy.â You place the chicken on the sheet pan before placing it into the already heated oven.Â
Hugh stands up and walks behind you. His arms wrap around you as you wash your hands. âIs it really that hard to believe that I like you?â He asks, giving light kisses to your neck. âSometimes.â You wiggle out of his arms to dry your hands on a towel that rests on the oven handle. âI must not be doing a very good job at showing it then.â You walk back over to him, where heâs leaning back on the counter. âItâs not you babe, itâs the voices.â You point to your head. âWhat are they saying?â You think for a moment. âDo you want the default answer or the real answer?â âThe real one.â He responds without a second thought. âI think Iâm just scared that all of this is temporary.â You say motioned your arms around. âIâm scared that one day youâll snap out of whatever it is you feel for me and justâŚjust leave and not want me anymore.â He pulls you into his chest. âI donât know what I can say or do to break you free from that but I can promise that I won't just leave you. If there ever comes a time where I don't want to be with you, which is very unlikely, Iâll tell you.â You donât say anything as he holds you. The two of you stay like that until the twenty five minute timer you set is going off.Â
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âDo you really have to leave today?â He asks, rubbing his hands up and down your back softly. After dinner, Hugh went down to fetch your suitcase out of his car. Both of you took showers, separately this time. Now you were straddling his lap, laying forward with your head resting in the crook of his neck. âUnfortunately..â You sigh out. âYou canât stay just a few more days?â He practically pouts and you can hear the sincerity in his voice. âI really wish I could but duty calls. I jump right into work once Iâm back.â This time he sighs. âIâm gonna miss you.â âIâm gonna miss you too.â You give his neck a few small kisses before speaking again. âWhen are you coming back to LA?â You lift your upper body and rest your hands on his bare chest. âIâm not sure. Got some stuff to deal with here, might take a while.â He lifts himself up, sitting up straight against the headboard, putting you both in the same position as this morning. âHm. What stuff?â You ask, hands trailing down from his chest to his abs. âDivorce stuff. Ex-wife stuff.â He shrugs slightly and leans forward, his lips meeting your neck as he leaves his own kisses. âOh..â It comes out more as a moan, Hughâs teeth nipping at the skin right below your ear. âThat must be hard, divorcing after so long together.â His lips falter for a moment. âDoesnât matter.â He leans back against the headboard. His response made you feel weird. Hughâs voice was distant. âIâm sorry. I shouldnât have said anything.â You apologize, letting your hands fall to his shoulders. âItâs okay, it wouldâve come up eventually.âÂ
âWe donât have to talk about it Hugh, itâs okay.âÂ
âItâs something we should talk about though. Itâs not fair to you. Youâve opened up so much to me, I should do the same for you.â Youâre silent, not sure what to say. âDoes it bother you?â Hugh asks.
âDoes what bother me?â You know what heâs asking but you werenât sure how to answer.Â
âThat I was married?â Heâs looking at you, but you're looking down at his hands.Â
âNo.â It wasnât a lie. Him being married isnât what bothered you. âLook at me baby.â His voice is stern, a tone that you havenât heard before. When you look at him his eyes are quick to line with yours. âDoes it bother you? Donât lie to me.â You sigh, hands sliding from his stomach. You rest them on top of his own where they are placed on your thigh. âI wasn't lying. It doesnât bother me that you were married.âÂ
âThen whatâs up sweet girl? I can tell there's something going on in that pretty head of yours..â The way heâs looking at you makes your heart race. Heâs looking at you like you're the most important person in the world, like you mean everything to him.Â
âI donât care that you were marriedâŚitâs just..this is gonna sound stupid but..Iâm scared of how long you two were together and how recent your divorce was.âÂ
âWhat do you mean baby?âÂ
âLike I said earlier, Iâm scared of this being temporary. That Iâm just someâŚgod I donât knowâŚthat Iâm a rebound or something. That the two of you will realize that being separated wasnât the right decision.â Your posture breaks as you slump forward slightly. âI knew that she would always be in your life and Iâve been trying to make peace with thatâŚbut the thought of you leaving is too much.â You confess.Â
âY/nâŚWhat Deb and I had has been over for a long time. It was over years before we finalized anything. Everything now is purely about our kids. Iâll always hold love for her in my heart but it isnât a romantic love anymore. That love is reserved for you sweet girl, all for you.â His fingers delicately lift your chin. âIâm a devoted man y/n. Once you have me, Iâm yours. I promise.â His thumb rubs along your jaw. You lift your pinky and he chuckles slightly. He lifts his own and links it with yours. âDoes that mean youâre finally gonna ask me to be your girlfriend?â His eyes widened slightly. âAre you ready to be my girlfriend?â Hugh asks, seriousness fills his voice. âI really want to be.â His eyes soften. âWhatâs stopping you from being all mine baby?âÂ
The question is loaded. The answer was full of worries you shoved deep down, hoping they wouldnât come up as soon as they did. From the moment you walked into his home, you tried your best to ignore the family photos that littered his walls. Photos of him and his wife with wide smiles, their kids standing between them, smiles just as wide. You pushed down every feeling you had as he showed you the rooms he kept for his kids for when they would visit. His daughter's room hurt the most. You saw glimpses of your own teenage years that youâd excited only a few years earlier. His sonâs room reminds you that that was the room of a man whose age was more appropriate for you. Youâd been reminded non-stop that what you had with Hugh was wrong in the eyes of others, so wrong that you were starting to feel it too.
âDoes it ever worry you that our relationship isnât practical? That it doesnât make sense?â He makes a face and he looks almost offended.âHow doesnât it make sense? I like you, you like me. Youâre happy, Iâm happy. What more is there to it?âÂ
âThatâs the thing Hugh. When it comes to you, it will never just be you.â His eyebrows scrunch up. âI'm confused baby.â You sigh. âHugh, you were married for decades, with kids. What is your ex-wife going to think about you dating a girl thatâs thirty three years younger than you? Hell, better yet, what will your kids think Hugh? What are they going to think about you dating a girl that sits right in between their ages?â You rant. âWhat Deb thinks about us doesnât matter. Sheâll get over it.â His hands give your thighs a small squeeze. âAnd your kids?â He sighs. âIâm not sure what theyâll think but Iâm sure that if I explain it to them theyâll understand. Theyâre old enough to where you wonât need to be a big part of their lives.â
âI know that babe but I donât know how Iâm supposed to fit into your life as it is. I canât just show up to the family Christmas parties as your girlfriend. Do you know how fucking weird that will be for me, for them?â His face falls and you know he doesnât take your words the way you intended. âIt would be weird to be my girlfriend?âÂ
âHugh, thatâs not what I meant.â He goes to move you off his lap but you tighten your thighs to stand your ground. âBabe, you have to understand what I mean. I donât wanna hide from your kids and Deborra. I want to be a part of your life completely and that includes knowing them.â He stops moving and sighs.Â
âThis isnât going to be easy y/n. I know I have baggage and Iâm sorry that this wasnât something we talked about sooner. I wouldnât blame you if you wanted to leave and have nothing to do with me.â Hugh lowers his head slightly. âHugh, I donât wanna leave you. Iâm used to older men, just not ones with ex-wives and kids.â You try to make it lighten the mood, hoping to make him laugh. It doesnât.Â
âEveryoneâs gonna hate us if we do this. The fans, your family, probably even my family if Iâm being honest. The crazy thing is that I donât care if everyone hates me but I donât want to be the reason everyone hates you.âÂ
Those last words felt like a weight coming off of your shoulders. The words were so simple but had been so hard to say all this time. They were true. You didnât care if fans turned on you, you didnât care if your family disapproved, though you couldnât imagine them disliking Hugh. Selfishly, you also didnât care that much if Hughâs family hated you. These were all miniscule issues when it came to you loving Hugh. As long as he was happy, you were happy. But the thought of Hugh experiencing any of that made your skin crawl. You didnât want him to lose fans heâs had over the long course of his career, you didnât want to put him through the burden of his family not approving of you and him having to feel the awkwardness every time you were around them. You couldnât imagine him jeopardizing the life he had built all because of you. You were still building a career. Everyone around you has already experienced you dating men that have no business dating someone your age. You didnât want to hurt him with the implications that came along with your name and age.Â
âThatâs not fair to say.â Hugh squeezes your hand. âYou canât put the weight of everything on yourself. If you decide that you want to be with me, then thatâs how itâs going to be. You and me. Weâll figure everything out together.â You look off to the side because you know if you look at him the ache youâd been feeling in your throat will betray you. âLook at me.â The hand that isnât holding yours reaches for your cheek as he attempts to move your face to look towards him. You refuse, already feeling a tear slip down involuntarily. âBaby please.â He tries again and you let him turn your face. A sob escapes, the pain in your neck finally relieved. âWhatâs wrong y/n? You gotta talk to me.â His voice is sweet and patient. All this man does is care for you in a way that youâve never experienced before.Â
âI donât wanna hurt you and your family Hugh. I donât want them to suffer, all because I love you.â You sob. âYou what?â His hands drop down to your knees. âI love you, Hugh.â You try your best to get the words out through the steady stream of tears. âDo you mean that baby?â He asks softly as one hand comes back to your cheek, wiping a few tears away. âOf course I mean it, thatâs why I canât leave you. I feel so selfish because the smart thing would be to walk away so no one gets hurt but I canât. I love you too much to let you go.âÂ
âI love you y/n, so much.â He pulls you in for a kiss. âReally?â You ask with sad eyes. âIâm pretty sure I fell in love with you the moment I met you baby. You looked so pretty that day and your voice was like a siren's call. I tried to fight the attraction but when you invited me to your album party, I didn't care anymore. I wanted you.â You grabbed his face at the confession, pulling his lips to yours. You both let every emotion spill into the kiss. âDoes this make you my girlfriend now or are we still friends that hook up and love each other?â He asks jokingly with a dopey smile. âAs much as I want to say yes, talk to your kids first. Please. I think it would make me feel a little better about everything.â He kisses you. âIâll talk to them tomorrow.âÂ
â
Leaving Hugh felt impossible. Not knowing when youâd see him next and him being around his ex-wife without you here to distract him made you nervous. You trusted him but when it came to you or the woman he was married to for twenty seven years, it was hard to say he'd choose you. Even after his reassurance, you had a feeling she would always come first.Â
âAre you sure you canât come with me?â You ask as you hug him, the two of you in the same hidden room from when he picked you up. âI really wish I could baby. Iâll try to get back out there as soon as I can.â He kisses the top of your head and the two of you stay there for as long as you can. âI should probably go.â You say reluctantly. âYea, you should.â You give him a few quick kisses. âDonât leave me waiting too long. Iâll be waiting for you.â You smile at him before giving him one last kiss. âI wonât, sweet girl. Text me as soon as you board and when you land okay?â You grab the handle of your suitcase. âI will.â You start to walk towards the door that leads out to the public but before you go out, you turn towards him one more time. âBye Hugh.â You give him a small wave. âBye baby. I love you.â The words make you smile. âI love you Hugh.â You give him one more wave before you walk through the door.
thank you for reading!
series taglist: @chronicallybubbly @spideybv28 @pear-1206 @robertthehoover @reidsworld @bloody-bunni666 @quillycrow @kythefangirl25 @bluetimeombre @cskidjgsjaoaknayan52782 @thewiselionessss @annagraceevanss @peterparkernotfound @rogueinmymind @samsamsantos @wolviesgirl @white-wolf-buckaroo @weskerussy @marvelgirlie-4 @honey-ros3ss @nonamevenus @nizem8 @chaimshelii @rockerchick05 @starryeddie @saylak @haytchee @godlypresley @mega-kittyglitter-1 @acescutejeans-1247 @bethexo07
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#hugh jackman#cyg#controversially young girlfriend#hugh jackman fanfiction#hugh jackman x reader#hugh jackman fic#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman x female reader#hugh jackman x you#hugh jackman x y/n#hugh jackman x popstar!reader#cyg part six#female reader#x reader#reader insert#hugh jackman reader insert#popstar!reader
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âââââ â AT THE FAIRGROUND w/ SOLDIER BOY.
NOTES .ᣠidea came from the loveliest @sl33pylilbunny :3 this is SO cute i love it so much ohmygosh. used a jellycat cause i love em n want one really bad.
"i'll win y'every single thing in this damn place if it'll get you to stop whinin' 'bout it," ben grumbles as he stares down the plush toy stuck within its glass enclosure. it's taunting him, taunting you. those beady black eyes.. it knows exactly what it's doing. and ben'll be damned if he loses to a fucking teddy bear with a pumpkin for a body. he'd beat countless of threats beforeâa teddy bear was nothing. and besides, you'd been giving the thing the softest, most adoring googly eyes from the moment you'd seen it. which was approximately.. almost an hour ago.
the staring was fine, sure, but the moment you started begging him to win it for you, for a good ten minutes? yeah, he has to get it over and done with, he realised. after the fifth, "ben, please, it's half teddy bear half pumpkin," he'd been practically sprinting across the fairground to make it to the infamous claw machine holding your future plush toy hostage. that toy would be yours, he'd make sure of it. it has to be.
he also wanted to prove the stories wrong, the ones saying that the claw machine was 'unbeatable' or that it took only luck to win it. he's soldier boy, for fuck's sake. "which one you want again, sweetheart?" he sighed, scratching the back of his neck momentarily. ben knew exactly what you wanted but he wanted to see the twinkle in your eyes when you mentioned it.
your brows raise skeptically for a minute when he asks, but a soft smile settles on your lips. "that one right there," you hum, "teddy bear, pumpkin body, it's literally perfect, oh my god," ben just watches you for a minute, a scoff escaping him. though the corners of his lips flit up at the sight of you and he sighs, "yeah, yeah, i got it. just watch 'n' learn." he gestured for you to step back a little bit, so he could work his magic.
honestly? anyone else looking on would've been so confused to see a guy like ben winning a stuffed toy. or at a fairground in the first place. he'd been totally reluctant, actuallyâit's not exactly his kind of fun but it is yours. he was wrapped around your finger wholeheartedly, he'd do every damn thing you asked him to. even if he wouldn't admit it, even if it was a little embarrassing for him. so dragging him to the fairground wasn't difficult at all when it came down to it.
and he had to admit, it was pretty cool here. it's halloween themed, with all the trimmingsâhaunted house, kids in cute costumes, the music. it almost makes him nostalgic, in a way. going on the rides was a lot of fun too, seeing the way you screamed and shriek when the two of you went on the drop tower was so much fucking fun.
"stop being a pussyâ! holy fucking shit, this is it, it's overâ"
what he didn't want to admit was the way he was also screaming and shrieking everytime the gondola got dropped. despite how he denied it, those photos you'd gotten on the way out completely corroborate your statement and destroyed his. those'd be perfect for your wallet, you knew. and y'know what'd be even better for like, your life, just, in general? that teddy bear.
"people say these things are rigged," ben starts, rubbing his hands together as if that's summoning the power he needs to beat the machine.
you stare at the back of his head for a moment, a skeptical sound escaping you. an interesting take from ben, sure, but everyone knows he has a lot of those. "is that not because they literally are rigged?" your words are amused, and you full on laugh when he pins you with that unamused look of his own. "just saying," your shoulders shrug, a smile playing on your lips at the sight of him.
"gotta have faith, baby," he tells you, deciding not to actually address what you'd said in favour of channeling any and all energy towards winning you the toy. "with all this strength o'mine it's gonna work," ben murmurs, holding onto the joystick like it owes him money. you won't be surprised if it does end up owing him money considering the odds of a claw machine like this one.
if he didn't manage to win the teddy bear, you wouldn't mind all that much. sure, you wanted it, but at the same time, the dedication that ben had to do it for you would've been enough. but also, you knew you wouldn't be leaving that damn machine without a pumpkin teddy bear in your hands. "you see, it's all in the technique."
"technique, huh?" you muse, moving a little closer to stand beside him and watch for a moment, hands moving into the pockets of your jacket. well, his jacket. you'd taken it since it was warm and smelt exactly like his cologne. "yeah, technique," ben nods, completely serious, not an ounce of sarcasm in his tone compared to yours. "told y'to watch 'n' learn, so watch 'n' learn," he cleared his throat, before his brow furrowed in concentration.
your watching and learning soon became watch and learn how to get narrowly close to being banned from a fairground. you're pretty sure the amount of profanities that came out of ben over the past.. probably ten minutes is enough to get the two of you thrown out considering how many children are nearby. might get a record for the most mothers covering their childrens' ears at this rate.
"ben, it's okay, i can just buy one off the websiâ"
"you're getting this fucking bear tonight, darlin'," everytime you'd tried to convince him it was okay, that you guys could go get burgers and fries and call it a day, he told you that the two of you wouldn't be moving from there. "almost got it.. almost.." his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, as he inserted another coin into the machine. this time the joystick actually owed him money. and the thirty other times, but that didn't matter now.
you zone out a little bit now, assuming this'd be like the aformentioned thirty other times, where he'd spewed out obscenities, then proceeded to shove another coin into the machine like nothing had happened prior. ben had assured you this was his 'method' and everything was happening according to plan. he'd never exactly been great at planning, but there you were.
"i told you!" that snaps you out of your thoughts, and much to your surprise, when you look up, there's a teddy bear with a pumpkin for a body in ben's hands. he's beaming like an idiot, so proud of himself even if he'd been acting previously like he wasn't even breaking a sweat. he wipes his forehead, some sweat having accumulated from how hard he was working. a little concerning, considering it was a pretty cold day, but.. the dedication.
"oh my god, ben!" you're practically squealing, looking between him and the teddy bear back and forth rapidly before you find yourself wrapping your arms around the two of them. subtly tucking the toy by his armpit, he eases his arms around you in return. a smug smile settles on his lips, his head cocking to the side momentarily to get a full look of you so happy and clinging to his figure.
"just doin' what i gotta do, y'know," ben shrugs, his free hand cradling the back of your head gently. the two of you were completely blocking the claw machine from anyone else, some kid standing there awkwardly since he wanted to use it, but he decided you two were having a bit of a moment so he thought maybe the haunted house was a better choice. "you uh.. really like that thing, huh?"
"like you a lot more, actually," you mumble, grasping at his face and drawing him closer so you can peck your lips to his own. his eyes widen for a minute, and before he gets the chance to melt in more, you pull back. he pouts, glancing around a minute. it made sense, yeah, this is a fairground, but still. can't leave a guy hanging like that. he sighs, "had me workin' real hard there. think the least a guy can get is some good food, right?"
you hummed for a moment in mock thought. as if you were gonna say no and make him win another plush toy. he quite literally would've lost his mind if you'd asked him to. luckily, you nodded, "okay, yeah. burgers?" you offer too, head tilting.
"and fries, can't forget 'em," he murmured, nodding his head in return. before he walked with you to the food stands, he reached for the teddy bear and pushed it into your hands gently. a soft smile played on his lips, "yeah, now we're ready. c'mon, m'fuckin' starvin'."
Ö´ Öš â
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#đË ana writes â.Ë#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy x you#soldier boy fluff#jensen ackles x you#jensen ackles x reader#jensen ackles x y/n#jensen ackles#jensen ackles fluff#the boys#the boys x reader
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After Dark
Arthur Morgan x CurvyFem!Reader Established relationship, high honor, grumpy Arthur in desperate need of release, 18+, MDNI (Minors DO NOT ENTER)
Arthur comes back to camp later than usual, with nothing but a bad disposition and a desperate need to release his pent-up frustrations.
Warnings: longer read, sexual content (oral, unprotected p in v, rough sex), mentions of violence, mentions of anger, and dabbles in sensual fluff.
Gif by: @sunwingsunset
A/N: Thank you so much to @photo1030 for not only being my sounding board in the never-ending chaos that is my writing process but also for being such a wonderful friend through it all. So grateful for you, don't know what I'd do without ya, C! <3 Thank you so much to @rivetingrosie4 for being an inspiration for my little works and being so supportive of my creative endeavors, not to mention the kind generosity of your friendship! Forever grateful for to have met you! @tortureddpoett I'm so excited to explore this budding friendship with you! Thank you so much for showing so much excitement for my work, IT MAKES ME EXCITED (EEP!). It means an absolute ton to me <3 @mr-inkslinger your friendship has been an absolute delight to explore! Thank you for posting that toe-curling smut that always has me giggling and kicking my feet! So happy to have met ya! And thank each and every single one of you for liking my first drabble and expressing interest in this next one. I'm so sorry it's taken me forever to publish this post, but hopefully, the next ones won't take me as long. I'll forever be grateful for your patience and kindness <3 But now, enough of my babbling, y'all enjoy yourselves with this one- I know I did ;)
Fuck. From the second he opened his eyes, he knew that the day was going to be fucking awful; his neck had a crick in it, his head was pounding from what little sleep heâs received over the last few nights, and now he had to trudge back out into the goddamn muggy heat to work. One disaster after another had piled up; everything that could have gone wrong, went so terribly awry that he wound up farther away from camp than he originally intended and managed to add a solid fifteen-dollar bounty to the mounting collection resting atop his head. Dutch had sent him out on a wild goose chase, following a lead from Micah that, of course, ended up being a complete waste of time. And that meant he was coming back to camp empty-handed, which almost certainly meant he'd be on the receiving end of another one of Dutch's lectures on the endless responsibilities placed upon his shoulders. He dreaded it, wanted to avoid spiraling down another conversation that would end in Dutch questioning his faith in the ever-evolving plan heâs found himself working on these days.
As if he needed any of that horseshit tonight. All he wanted was a moment of peace and quiet, a chance to catch his breath after the disaster of a day he'd just had, but instead, he was headed back to camp with nothing but bruises, a bloody lip, and a bad disposition to show for his efforts. Trees and other bits of scenery whipped by in a blur as Arthur spurred his horse onward, his surroundings melting together into a muddy mess of shapes cast by moonlight. He passed through New Hanover, his furious pace leading him down the familiar roads of Lemoyne, reaching the clearing outside of camp. Lenny and John are the first to spot Arthur approaching the thicket of trees disguising Clemens Point's main entrance. âHey, who goes there?â Lennyâs voice echoes through the forest, bouncing off the thicket until it reaches Arthurâs ears.
ââS me.â Arthur grunts out through gritted teeth, clearly not in the mood for any chit-chat. Even underneath the shadow of leaves and limbs, the scowl etched upon his face is easily distinguishable, a clear sign for anyone with any common sense to give him a wide berth for the rest of the night. Lenny and John, both, had a pretty good idea of what might happen when Arthur steps foot into camp and they don't want any part of it. As a result, they give each other a little knowing glance and stay in the treeline, preferring to avoid the impending shitstorm and let Dutch or Hosea deal with it instead. He strides past them in a fit of frustration, dismounting his mare with a jerky movement before she's even come to a complete stop. Kieran spots him and hesitantly approaches. That poor fool. "H-Hey, Mr. Morgan. Would ya like me to unsaddle the 'ol gal here?" Kieran's question was nothing more than an innocent query, but his expression turned the young man into a nervous wreck. If looks could kill, Arthurâs certainly could; his steely eyes are set ablaze with annoyance and irritation as he casts a hateful glance in Kieran's direction. Even Kieran knew better than to talk to Arthur when he was in this state, knowing that it would only lead to suffering at the hands of his unbridled wrath. Kieranâs eyes immediately darted to his feet, desperate to avoid Arthurâs icy gaze as his fingers trembled with the frayed ends of rope in his hands. Quickly as to not start any trouble for himself, Kieran took hold of the mare's reigns and led her away to the field of horses, putting as much distance between himself and Arthur as he could. A slight pang of guilt runs through him when he sees the way that Kieran high-tailed it out of his line of sight. He doesn't want to be harsh to the boy, he's been a useful asset to the gang, but his temper is just too far gone for him to muster up an apology. As fast as the angering thoughts snapping through his mind, Arthur turns on his heels and storms into camp in search of Dutch. His boots furiously hit the grass and reddened Lemoyne dirt as he passes by a few of the wandering eyes from those still awake at this late hour. Charles casts him a wary glance, and so does Sadie, but neither of them cares to look long enough to entertain what's about to happen. He passes by his own wagon and heads straight to Dutch's tent. Dutch is nowhere to be seen, yet the lamp light inside casts its soft golden glow upon the closed canvas flaps of the tent, indicating that he might be inside. Not wasting any more time than he has to, Arthur approaches the tent, not bothering to stop and think until it's too late. His hand raises, readying to peel back the canvas flap, when all of a sudden he hears the sweet amorous sounds of lovemaking echo through the night air. Mollyâs sweet voice gasps out between each movement of their squeaking cot, calling out for Dutch as the unmistakable sound of skin slapping skin penetrates through the thin canvas walls, revealing exactly whatâs occupying Dutchâs time tonight.
âOh, Dutch. Donât stop,â she encourages through strained, unabashed moans of pleasure. Dutchâs deep, husky voice murmurs back something unintelligible, but the increased squeaking of their bed and the filthy little noises coming from Molly are a clear indicator that Arthur should be stepping away to give them some privacy. Embarrassment washes over him, causing a faint rosy flush to heat his face and bloom across his cheeks. For once, he's grateful for the distraction from his current frustration. On most nights, he'd find comfort in your presence, seeking you out to vent his grievances as a distraction from the ever-present aggravation that seemingly follows him around these days. But tonight, he just wants to retreat to his tent, away from everything and everyone, to try to calm down before he says or does something he regrets.
He strides past the dying campfires and tables that are askew from daily camp activities, and his mind tirelessly races from thought to thought, stealing his attention away from his surroundings. If Arthur had even bothered to look, he would have spotted your sleeping form laid out upon his bed the moment he stepped inside. You had been waiting for him all evening. After working yourself to the bone doing laundry, dinner prep, and other camp chores for Ms. Grimshaw all day long, you wandered your way over to Arthurâs tent in search of a quiet place to sit. Part of you wished to find him seated right there on his cot, wanting to simply have a conversation with the man who has stolen your heart, but to your disappointment, he wasnât anywhere to be found. So, you waited for him.. And waited until the very idea of waiting became too tiresome and you unknowingly fell asleep.
Sneaking away from the gang for private talks with him has been one of your favorite things to do since you joined the gang so long ago. Y'all have always had a knack for avoiding the company of others. But somehow in the midst of squirreling yourselves away, both of you have come to find that you'd prefer being alone together. Eventually, this led to many nights where Arthur would seek you out just to speak his mind, allowing you to see the world through his eyes for a short while. You have not only embraced Arthur's thoughts, but in doing so, you have captured his heart all the same. If it weren't for you, he's certain he'd have lost his damn sanity long ago.
Arthur takes that dusty old gambler's hat off his head and runs his fingers through his hair, taking a moment to calm himself down. His eyes glance over the things laid out upon his bedside table before catching a glimpse of your figure awash by the pale moonlight in his periphery. Your hair is sprawled out over the small blanket you've rolled up into a makeshift pillow; curls flowing like a roaring waterfall, laying a mess, and finally free from the bun that was atop your head earlier in the day. His eyes rake over your voluptuous figure, noting every dip and curve from your plump waist and hips to the ample swell of your breast hidden by a layer of clothing. The moment his mind registers that your presence isn't a dream, his eyes soften and his mind no longer races with anger. You are his peace, the only thing in this world that he cherishes above all else.Â
Sighing softly, he finally discards his hat from his hand and places it onto his nightstand before working off his worn leather jacket and satchel, resting them on the back of the chair nearest his shaving mirror. And while he's on his feet, he takes the time to carefully roll down the canvas walls of his tent, unraveling them with the quiet precision of a mouse, and securing them in a few simple knots to hide you two away from the world.
It's quite dark by the time he wanders over to the cot, dark enough not to notice himself brush against your legs as he takes a seat on the edge of the old creaking bed. The familiar, welcomed-warmth of his body pressing against your shins rouses you from your restful slumber. Your eyes flutter open to find his figure perched next to you, shrouded in a darkness so thick that you are sure you're still dreaming. His head and broad shoulders are slumped over as he begins working off his dusty boots, caked with remnants of mud and manure.
"Hmm... Arthur?" Your voice floats through the quiet darkness, laden with fatigue and clearly carrying the lassitude of someone who could fall back asleep at the drop of a hat.
He quickly glances over his shoulder at the sound of your voice, his eyes already adjusted enough to the shadows to see your tired face staring back at him with confusion. He silently curses himself for waking you. "Shhh, Darlin'. Don't wake up on my account. I'll be done in just a minute," Arthur lightly grunts out the last word as he struggles to remove his right boot.
Even in your own weary state, the exhaustion in his tone isn't lost on you. Thinking it best to rouse yourself as quickly as possible to free up his bed for him, you sit yourself up and will yourself awake with a slight stretch. "'S okay. You need rest more 'n me."
"No. You was restin' 'fore I got here. Go 'head and lay back down." He isn't having any of your courtesy tonight. He's worn out, far too tired to argue with you about whether or not it's appropriate for you to share his bed for the night.
The rest of the gang, aside from John, Abigail, Susan, and Hosea know nothing about the true nature of y'all's relationship. Although, the rest of the girls have picked up on the changes you've brought about in Arthur since your arrival so long ago now. Seeing him get all soft and doey-eyed at you over these last few weeks has most definitely tipped them off about what y'all really get up to when you're out running errands together. But they catch wind of you sleeping in his tent tonight, it will all but confirm their suspicions. And yet, you just can't bring yourself to move from the comfort of Arthur's cot with him sitting so close to you.
"What time is it?" The question falls from your lips, carried on the soft currents of a gentle breeze pushing through the tent flaps. Fine sinewy muscles flex beneath his shirt as he leans over to work off his other boot and you are powerless to admire the shape of his body beneath.
A muffled grunt escapes his mouth the moment he finally frees his aching feet from the confines of his boots, "Late," he simply replies.
You take a deep, cleansing breath, allowing the tranquility of the night to settle around you like a soft, comforting blanket. Outside these walls, no sounds of chatter or lively activity can be heard, aside from the gentle hum of crickets by the riverbank and the faint sounds of a squeaking cot stopping abruptly. The gang is unusually quiet, the air filled with repose now that Arthur's returned safely to you. Only a few stragglers tend to the campfires, their focus solely on themselves, interested in anything beyond the flickering flames; not even the sounds of Dutch and Molly or Arthur's irritation can disrupt the peaceful bubble encompassing Clemen's Point tonight.
The plush heel of your palm rubs over one of your eyes as you flit them toward the tent entrance, watching how the wind slightly ruffles the bottom of the canvas. It's only then that you realize that Arthur has tied down the walls for privacy on your account. Normally, he wouldn't bother setting up the walls before collapsing on the cot for a few restless hours of sleep. But tonight, he's gone out of his way to ensure your comfort. Your heart couldn't feel any more full of love for this man by your side, a man who puts your well-being above all else, even above his own. Never did you think that love would have been like this for you: sitting in the comfortable silence of privacy for lovers when that luxury is rarely afforded for women like you. But despite your gratitude for his thoughtfulness, a pang of guilt gnaws at you knowing he made the extra effort while you took up residence in his bed, a cot that's barely big enough for the two of you given your plump frame.
In an attempt to make up for taking up so much space, you roll yourself forward along the thin mattress and quickly slide past him, crawling toward the foot of his bed where his trunk of clothing is kept. You've decided to give him his space for the night, even though in your heart, you'd prefer to stay. Before your foot even slides off the trunk to touch the soft grass below, you're reminded of John stopping by Arthur's tent earlier in the day.
Through a half yawn, you speak, not giving Arthur the chance to catch-on to where you're headed, "'Fore I forget: John stopped by while you was out."
Arthur slightly leans back as his fingertips mindlessly fumble with the buckle of his gun belt. The slight clicking of the metal rings out as he works to remove the clunky accessory from his body. His strong back brushes against you as he moves with the comfortable ease he's come to enjoy over these last few weeks of secretly being yours.
"What about it?" His concentration is split half between himself and the presence of your body behind him.
Your words don't register in his mind until he's completely removed the belt from his body. He figures it was that stagecoach job he reluctantly handed off to John; it had completely slipped from his mind until this very moment, much like yourself. The cool metal filigree atop his trunk moves under your feet as you rest them just shy of slipping off its edge, causing the hazy memory to play out behind your tired eyes.
-
You were just settling yourself in, resting your weary body on the edge of Arthur's cot, just as you're doing now. Little beads of sweat accumulated on your forehead from working out in the intensity of Lemoyne's miserably humid heat. Grimshaw had you and the rest of the women working on camp chores, which you hadn't complained of, since it usually occupies the time until Arthur's usual return. However, the day was far too hot for you to not complain about the harsh conditions she had y'all in. Eventually, evening came and you were finally finished with the laundry, allowing you a moment's rest to seek out the comfort of Arthur's cot.
In the midst of wiping your brow down with one of his neckerchiefs you'd secretly swiped, the hard thump of boots hitting grass caught your attention. You'd anticipated Arthur's arrival, but something didn't feel quite right. The boots didn't move with Arthur's measured stride; they scuffed the grass and dirt, signaling a different, but familiar presence. The moment you look up, you spot John standing at the entrance of the tent, not at all surprised to see you sitting upon his cot as if it were your own.
For a brief moment, his brow furrowed in a mix of frustration and exhaustion. It was as if he was caught between the two warring emotions, each pulling him equally. Clearly, he expected Arthur to be back already.
"He not back yet?" The gruffness of his voice has you believe the former, rather than the latter.
"Not yet," you say in kind, hoping to ease some of his burden. "Was you needin' him for somethin'?"
John did and the news certainly wasn't going to sit well with Arthur at all.
-
When the thoughts finally coalesce within your fatigued mind, you internally grimace knowing that Arthur isn't going to like the reality of the situation. Gentleness has always been your strong suit, especially when it came to dealing with half of the bull-headed men in camp. So, you lace your words with the softest tone you can manage, "Said it weren't as much as y'all had planned on: about fifty-dollars tied up in what little him 'n Charles found."
And you were right. The news doesn't sit well with him at all. All of the compiled frustration of working a nothing-lead and now knowing that the other job didn't pay well either boils beneath the surface of his skin until he explodes like a whistling kettle. Preventing himself from lashing out at you, Arthur kicks his boot toward the other side of the tent, knocking it into the chair. The loud thunk of its sole hitting wood claps harshly and causes you to flinch, startling you fully awake from the suddenness of noise and his movement.
"Every goddamn day it's some shit," he spits through his teeth.
Although you know he'd never intentionally hurt you, the anger in his voice sends a cold shiver down your spine and your stomach flips and churns in knots. Usually, you'd blame yourself, reprimanding your big mouth for even opening up to mention something that you knew wouldn't bode well for his weary mind. But you're in too much of a shock to even consider self-deprecation as an option. Your wide eyes search through the darkness, watching the shadowed outline of the man you love heave in a deep breath to steal his nerves. His shoulders slump forward and head hangs low as he rests his elbows on his knees, utterly defeated from the compiled anger and exhaustion coursing through him.
It's at this moment that you remember the job Dutch sent him on earlier in the day; Arthur didn't want to go and had very little sleep after working on yet another lead that barely got them anywhere. If it had been left up to you, you would've made Arthur stay right here in this bed to get some rest like he deserves. You would've taken care of him so tenderly, but, as usual, what Dutch wanted would have far outweighed any of your concerns. You've learned to recognize the pattern of these situations by now, and given Arthur's aggression, assuming that today's job didn't go quite as planned would be hitting the nail right on its head. You test the waters with a quiet question, "Lead didn't pan out today, did it?"
The soft shake of Arthur's head, coupled with the shadow of his palm running over his face tells you all that you need to know: no, it hadn't gotten him any farther than where he had started. Another useless effort. Your heart aches watching him struggle with so much weight on his shoulders. No matter how strong Arthur might be, he's just a man struggling to carry his own burdens, let alone everyone else's. Ever since settling down here, Dutch has placed so much responsibility on him that you've wanted to scold the man for even mentioning Arthur's name in passing. He's worked himself thin and thread-bare, barely having any time for himself outside of the time he spends on the road traveling from place to place at Dutch's convenience.
Empathy for the man that you've fallen in love with so long ago breaks your heart, aching in desperation to relieve some of his pain. Instead of walking away, keeping to yourself, and silently shouldering any of the blame for setting him off, you choose to stay the night. Despite knowing full well that the girls will have their gossip circulating by morning, Arthur's needs are far more important than any snickering comment or playful jest that'll inevitably come your way.
You scoot back where you were and lean toward him with less apprehension than what your words had suggested. Resting your delicate palm between the broad expanse of his shoulders, you feel him tense at the soft slip of your tender touch over his shirt. The tips of your fingers glide over his shoulder and silently take purchase on the taut muscle there. With a gentle, yet firm pull, you coax Arthur back toward you.
"C'mere. Lean back 'n talk to me..." Your dulcet tone pierces through his irritation, encouraging him to rest in your awaiting arms.
Arthur slowly reclines back, allowing himself to unwind in your embrace as his much larger body sits snugly against your plump bosom. Relaxing doesn't come easy for him. Hell, you'd be surprised if it had, given the high tensions between him and Micah these days or the tiresome back and forth between the two rival families in Rhodes. He has every right to be terse and tensed up like a snake ready to strike, but you aim to comfort him even if that means you risk getting bit. Silence hangs in the air between you, aside from the gentle breaths and the occasional strained grunt catching in the back of his throat while he struggles to get comfortable against you, due to the remaining stress insisting on clinging to his tired body. Your loving hands splay out over the firm expanse of his chest, feeling the steady and reassuring thrum of his heartbeat beneath your palms as you try your best to soothe your brooding lover. It's as if your mere presence cracks away at the anger lingering in the stiff tendons and taut plains of muscle along his torso until he relents and finally lets go. His body relaxes back into you as if he were sinking into the plush, luxurious drapery and bedding found in the finest hotels of Saint Denis; much like the bedding of the room he'd paid for the very same night he had whisked you away to bed you properly for your very first time.
He's silent for a long while, almost reluctant to burden you with his troubles. So, you take it up on yourself to start the conversation by spilling what had happened to you earlier in the day, thinking it might earn a laugh or two, "Well, I'm sure my day weren't as rough as your'n," you hum. "But I did fall off the dock, landing my hind-end right in that water."
The image would usually cause a humorous snort to escape him, but the irritation still bristling at his nerves prevents him from reacting with anything else other than a huff of annoyance, "I told ya to watch your footin' out there. Ain't no use to nobody if you get yourself drowned."
Fortunately, as he chides you his words begin to lack much of the anger from moments ago. But you sigh softly anyways, relenting to his incessant need to protect you from life's dangers, despite being able to handle your own, "I know, I know..."
With a few buttons of that old blue work shirt popped open by your deft fingers, the smallest opening there is just big enough to slip your hand inside and rest it up on the soft but wiry hairs at the very center of his chest. "You shoulda seen me, though," you murmur as you lean down toward his ear, lowering your tone as you press your cheek to the side of his head. "Was drenched head to toe, clothes clingin' to me like feathers on a wet chicken."
He sulks, trying to stay mad at anything and everything he can to give into the bristling anger at the back of his mind, but he can't. No, not when he can clearly envision you all soaked and surprised from falling into that cold lake. A faint smile curls up the corners of his lips and then, just as he almost chuckles, he clears his throat, holding his laugh back. However, you catch on far too quickly for him to play it off so easily.
You gasp softly in mock surprise as if offended by the idea of him laughing at you, "Arthur Morgan. Are you laughin' at me?"
That's when his temperament breaks, giving way to the huff of laughter rumbling through his chest. "I ain't laughin' atchu, per say..." he counters. "Just maybe at the thought of what ya mighta looked like comin' up outta that water: madder 'n hell, hair clingin' to your head," and as if to illustrate his point, Arthur reaches his hand backward and turns his head to try and catch a glimpse of you in the thick shadows, barely making your face distinguishable to his eyes, as he brushes his fingertips over the bits of hair clinging to your forehead from the muggy heat.
Though you narrow your eyes in mock annoyance, you lean into his calloused fingertips, accepting the gentleness of his touch while a giggle of your own creeps up into your throat, "Oh? Is 'at so? Maybe next time I find you out on that dock, I'll think 'bout pushin' ya in 'n lettin' you see how it feels."
He huffs out a skeptical breath and raises an eyebrow at the very thought of you even trying something like that with him. It'd be a futile effort and one that you truly wouldn't consider without the clear consequence of him pulling you right down with him.
And just as soon as the laughter came, it was gone again, replaced instead with a comfortable silence that settles between you two once more, giving him some space to think about what's happened to himself today. Long before the days of your arrival, Arthur would keep to himself and dwell on the ever-present burdens troubling his mind, brooding for hours. But with you, he feels a safety that men like him are rarely afforded.
"Well, if ya think fallin' in Flat Iron's bad..." he continues, "Try goin' halfway 'cross the state lookin' for a man that don't exist. Then when ya find someplace to get a drink, ya end up catchin' a few stray hits from some drunken bastard."
A soft gasp enters your lungs at the revelation. Another fight? You lean over his shoulder, reaching to take his scarred chin into your hand. It's hard to see through the inky-black darkness of the night, but even in the haziness, your eyes can make out the bruising along his jaw, the harsh scrapes of knuckles cutting over his cheek, and the jagged cut on his upper lip. It isn't a rare sight to have him come back battered and bruised by some job from time to time, but that still doesn't quell the uneasiness in your heart at him going through such pain and aggravation.
Your eyebrows furrow in sympathy for your rugged cowboy, eyes softening to match as you breathe out, "Oh, Arthur."
He's quick to dismiss your concern with a soft sigh, pulling away from you to lean forward and distract himself from your sympathetic gaze, "Ah, don'tchu go 'n worry yourself over me none, Darlin'."
Being fussed over or thought of so tenderly still isn't something he's used to; he's shown you that time and time again. But it never deters you from trying to make things better, to make things easier on him however you can. Whatever turmoil Arthur's got rolling about in his mind is far from the usual and it takes patience to understand; a patience that he finds only you can give.
You reach your hand out toward him. The delicate ends of your fingertips reach up to brush over the nape of his sun-kissed neck, grazing over the ends of his slightly overgrown hair, silently making a note to yourself that you'll trim it for him tomorrow. His body shuffles slightly backward, leaning in to accept your touch while he slips off his suspenders: pulling them down his shoulders heavy with burden, before taking his time to unbutton that tattered old work shirt you're so used to seeing around his muscular frame.
"'Sides..." he starts. "I did have some good that came from today."
"What's 'at?" you hum softly with a lilt of dryness. "Hittin' that feller back?"
He can't help the chuckle rising in his throat at the dry sarcasm touching your words. Arthur shakes his head softly, "Nah, Darlin', " the last word strains from his lips as he rises to his feet with a groan, leaving the safe comfort of your touch as he stands to undo his pants.
He glances over his shoulder, peering down at you through the darkness with a smirk curling up at the right corner of his mouth. Watching as your sweet eyes follow his every movement, Arthur turns to face you, allowing you to gaze at him as he slowly pushes the brass button through the eyelet at the top of his riding pants. The fabric opens effortlessly, revealing the red cloth of his union suit underneath. The sight of him before you, suspenders hanging loosely on either side of his long legs and his pants aching to be peeled from his strong form has your lips parted in awe at the man standing mere inches away from you.
He continues from just seconds before, "Seein' you laid out on my bed, purdy as a dream."
After stepping out of his pants now crumpled around his ankles, Arthur lowers one knee upon the cot nearest your thighs. He leans over you, using his thick fingers to tilt your chin upward, meeting his crystalline eyes. "Was one helluva sight I could get used to seein'."
The low timbre of his voice sends a shockwave of desire straight through your heart and into the aching pit of your stomach. Your lips draw up into a shy smile, and a faint dusting of pink envelops your cheeks just like the moment you'd first professed your feelings for him under that canopy of trees he led you through so blindly. Although it hasn't been long since that fateful night, the closeness of your relationship has escalated so quickly that your head and heart dizzy at the mere mention of his name.
Arthur's calloused thumb brushes over the supple swell of your bottom lip, enticing you to part them just for him. You comply, of course, unable to resist how a ghost of his touch makes you so pliant beneath him. And when he leans down to meet your lips with his own, your heart swells with tender affection. Those warm, slightly chapped, but pleasantly plush lips are heady as they connect with a passion that stokes the burning coals of desire in the very base of your core.
"Been waitin' to use that one for a while, hmm?" You hum contently while blindly guiding your hands toward the flare of muscle encasing his ribs. God, how you could worship this man and never tire of feeling how warm, how strong he is beneath your palms.
"Depends. It workin'?" He murmurs, smirking cockily against your lips.
Your mind begins to spin as the calloused pad of his thumb dips from your chin and swipes over your jawline. His fingers splay out over the side of your neck, fingertips gripping you with tender passion to hold you in place. He could easily break you, bend you with his finger and thumb as if you were nothing more than a twig beneath his rough and weathered hands. Never have you felt so small and fragile, always knowing in your heart that you took up much more room than other women. But, when you're with Arthur, he makes you feel as delicate as the petals on a beautiful flower, something so precious and worth loving; it's so much more than you'd ever experienced in your whole life. He touches you so tenderly as if you were made from nothing more than ash, a veritable pile of matter waiting to slip through his fingers at any moment.
You want to hum your praises to your lover, to let him know exactly how much you've wanted this, how much you've missed him, how well he's kissing you, touching you... But you can't. There are no words. He's stolen them from you, drawing all the air out of your lungs with his lips, leaving you gasping for the air coated in his divine masculine scent: sweet tobacco, wood ash, and mossy earth. He encompasses you, wrapping one arm around your waist as he pulls you close to his body, all the while shuffling himself forward to join you on the small cot. Your back presses against the hard wooden frame of the wagon making up the other half of his tent. He presses against you, holding you close to his strong body as he slides his right hand from your jaw, trailing it down over the soft skin of your neck, and down to your chest, where he heatedly palms your breast hidden just beneath your blouse. To have him touch you like this, like a man frenzied and dying for a taste of intimacy, has your head spinning and your heart on the verge of exploding if it hadn't already; for all you know, you could've died the moment his lips crashed into yours, and all that's left is a heaven you'd only dreamt of.
A low growl of appreciation rumbles through his chest for the plumpness of your body. Most men do not know the fine pleasures that extra curves on a woman can bring. But Arthur sure does. And oh how he worships your full figure, despite your opinions about yourself. His large, calloused palm shifts his attention to your other breast, kneading you tenderly while his lips work from your mouth, and instead, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses over your jawline and supple neck.
His name is a breathless sigh across your trembling lips as you allow your hands to explore his body in return. Touching over the large expanse of his torso and gliding your fingertips over the worn fabric of his union suit, you desperately search for the button that would bare him wholly to you. In the time it takes you to undo one of his buttons, his skilled fingers undo two of yours. Button after button unthreads upon both of your bodies, though his hands are much quicker at ridding you of your layers, leaving them strewn about on the ground until he's stripped you down and laid you beneath him in nothing more than your chemise and bloomers to conceal your decency. Arthur then crawls over you, his movements deliberate and enticingly slow as he cages you in with his hands pressed into the thin mattress on either side of your head. Shadows danced and shifted restlessly, playing tricks on your perception as you try to focus on what little of Arthur you could see through the haziness, making the absence of light feel alive. To feel him above you like this has your stomach in knots, tightening with a firey passion that's ready to snap at any given moment. Hearts are pounding, thrumming wildly against your ribcages like birds desperate to escape the confines of your chests. You hear it, hear how his breath shutters with each wild thump of his heart, and you feel it in his breath as it puffs over your cheek. He's losing himself to you and you him, slipping so quickly that rational thinking is no longer of use. You need him and he needs you.
The flaps of his union suit hang loosely from his body, allowing your hands to reach in and press flat over his heated skin. He shivers slightly at the contact, his muscles tensing and flexing beneath the tender meeting of your palms placed upon his scarred, goose-pimpled flesh. Your fingertips ghost over a scar on the right side of his ribcage, causing your face to crinkle with sorrow for what hardship your lover, this great outlaw, has had to endure in his lifetime. The damaged tissue is the result of a nasty fight he had as a young man: when someone stabbed him with the broken end of a beer bottle; they had aimed to kill him, but he had survived. The spot still aches with the memory of Hosea digging out the shards of broken glass from the angry, bloodied wound. But somehow, the way your delicate touch brushes over that old scar with such love and care causes the outlaw's skin to tingle, and his cock to ache with the pride of knowing that you love him so.
He takes his time with you here, laid out beneath him like a perfect little thing he's captured and kept safe by hiding you away in the privacy of his tent. After the day he's had, he wants to savor every bit of loveliness he's blessed with in your presence, so he can't rush this with you, not now. Arthur takes his time admiring you, letting his eyes rake over what he's able to see, and feeling what he cannot. Leaning down close enough to your face to capture that seductive glint in your glittering, lust-blown eyes, Arthur searches for any change within them as he maneuvers his right hand away from the mattress to trail along your sensitive flesh. The rough pads of his fingers ghost over your thigh, caressing the plump deposit of flesh along your middle, snaking up over your collarbones, and over your neck in search of your delicate face before sealing your mouth with his own in a kiss so tender you whimper from the initial contact.
Shivers of anticipation roll through him as your body responds to his touch: back arching off the bed, hands pulling on the nape of his neck to hold him down and assure that his lips won't leave yours, and the way your bloomer-clad hips roll upward in search of some much-needed friction. God how he could spend hours with you like this, letting his hands roam over your body to make you shiver and plead for any ounce of affection that he can give you. Your needy state is only exacerbated by the slight tremble in your thighs as he snakes his hands down over the pillowy flesh, seeking out the waistband of your bloomers. Ridding you of the cloth separating your pussy from his line of sight is an easy feat: the clad, slightly damp undergarment peels away from your plump hips with ease at the help of his precision; the Lemoyne heat causes the clothing to stick to your slightly dampened skin, but dammit if the temperature pales in comparison to how heated Arthur makes you feel. He tosses them down onto the ground, and places his hands upon your knees, spreading them apart as he sits above you to admire the feeling of your plump body beneath him.
His hand is unhurried and exacting, gently brushing his calloused knuckles down over your inner thigh, then lightly petting them over your soaked need covered by a soft thatch of hair. He can't see you fully, but that does nothing to stop his mind from envisioning how your cunt glistens with slick, all for him. The moment he presses his fingertips to your seam, parting you with the practiced precision of a lover, he lets a low, ragged breath escape his nose in appreciation for how wet you are. You shiver and instinctively try to close your knees from the pleasant surprise of his touch, and fuck does it feel good to have him brush over your folds like that.
"Always so ready, ain'tchya?" He murmurs, a teasing lilt to his voice as he takes his time in savoring the feeling of your slick upon his fingertips.
Your hips involuntarily twitch, bucking upward into his hand, seeking out his fingertips to make him swirl them over your aching little clit. You want him to touch you right where you need him, feel him right on that little spot upon that nub of nerves that makes your mind swirl and your body careen into a blissful orgasm. But he doesn't give that to you, not yet. He wants to work you over slowly, savoring every little sound he can draw out of those pretty lips. You're far too shy to answer him directly, instead favoring to cover your face with your forearms as he takes pleasure in taunting you like this. But the moment his fingertips threaten to part your folds, you let out a delicate little noise, someplace between a whine and a prayer to let him know that you're in no mood to endure his teasing tonight, "Arthur... Please."
Oh, how he loves to hear the sound of you begging; he's already half-hard at the idea of you wanting his touch, let alone hearing how desperate you are for it. He answers your prayer with a long, smooth stroke of his thumb parting your puffy, wet folds. You keen at how just a simple touch causes your stomach to flutter and your slit to clench around nothing at all. Your thighs, thick with strength, covered by a layer of squishy softness, part for him, relaxing lazily as he guides his thumb over each of your labia.
It was nearly impossible to get you to lay like this for him a few weeks ago; you'd been concerned about the unsightly appearance of your inner thighs: scarred over with dimples and imperfections, as well as the slight discoloration of having them rub together after so many years of being a larger woman. Most women that you've seen naked, don't have the same ailments upon their bodies as you have on yours. Just the other day when bathing with some of the girls in the lake, you'd noticed that even on Karen's body, a woman closer to your size, still didn't have the scars or discoloration across her skin in the same way that you have. And that night that Arthur had you laid out for him for the very first time, he'd noticed that apprehension in you, taking it as having second thoughts. But once you had explained how you felt about your own body, he hadn't even given the idea a single thought; his own body is mauled up, covered in old and ugly scars, and carrying more than three colors from all his time spent out in the sun. So, he couldn't have cared less about some scars, a little extra hair, weight, or even the discoloration over your thighs. What he did care about, however, was making sure that you felt loved in spite of it all. And now, it feels no different. To have you spread your legs for him like this, without a single worry holding you back, is a goddamn treat.
Fuck how good it feels to have the soft press of his thumb tease over your cunt, tracing the delicate path between your weeping entrance, to your swelling bud with a pressure so teasing and light that you squirm to feel more. Your plush lips tuck between your teeth to hold back any sounds that give away what you two are doing in here after dark, but it's useless; the lewd sounds of his thumb circling over your clit echo throughout the tent: a dead giveaway to anyone that dare walk by. Holding your breath like this isn't easy, not when the pounding of your heart echoes in your ears and your chest feels as if it's being seared from the inside out. A ragged gasp finally inhales through your nostrils, desperately trying to fulfill your body's need for air when you can no longer restrain your breaths.
He huffs out a low chuckle in amusement at the state he has you in: clearly desperate and in need to have your clit rubbed just the way you like it.
"Hmm.. Hear that?" He rasps out before going silent, letting you hear the sounds of your own slick being spread over your soaked cunt. He only continues when he finally reaches your clit, circling over the throbbing little nerve-ending to make you sigh out in pleasure for him. "So goddamn wet. All for me."
In a blur of movements, Arthur's chapped lips and teeth skim over your knee, slowly working their way down over your inner thighs. He nips at you, earning a few little squeaks and giggles until he kisses over your plump mound. His thumbs take hold of either side of your cunt, spreading you open to let the night air hit your wet skin. It's pleasant like this, to feel yourself spread out beneath him like a meal ready to be devoured and dammit if he ain't starved for a taste. Being eaten out has quickly become one of your favorite acts of intimacy in recent weeks; his tongue is so skilled at finding spots on you, making you come so deliciously, that most days it's all you've been able to think about. Hell, it's all you're thinking about now as his head sinks down to your core and his hot breath fans out over your aching need. His tongue slips out of that perfect mouth and flattens out over your seam, lapping at you once to earn him that little sigh of pleasure escaping your throat.
Your hands immediately seek out his head, combing through his slightly sweat-dampened hair as he swirls the blunt tip of his tongue over your clit.
"A-Agh, Arthur.. N-Not so fast," you whine out in protest, yet your hips bucking up into his mouth says otherwise. But he relents, nonetheless, giving you a moment of reprieve before he delves back in at the same pace.
He's aiming to make you cum quick and hard: slithering his tongue over your clit with the precision of knowing exactly what side and spot makes you writhe beneath him. Just left and then a little upward beneath that little hood of skin and he has you singing for him. Explicitves roll off your tongue one after another in between sweet little sounds that praise him for what effort he's putting in just for you. To hear you, feel you crumble beneath him like this is better than any robbery or score he gets out on the road. But just before he lets you come, he pulls his head back slightly and puffs cool air over your clit, making you whine.
"Shh.. Shh.. 'M gonna let ya cum, Darlin'. Don'tchu worry 'bout that none. 'M gonna take real good care of ya," he hums lowly as his lips and bristly scruff brush over your quivering inner thighs.
His promise isn't far off from fulfillment, not when he sinks his tongue into your heat and presses his opened mouth over the entirety of your cunt. He sucks hard, feeling your walls constrict around the wriggling muscle of his tongue as he laps inside your spongey center. Your thighs tremble with need as he fucks you with his mouth and slurps up your slick, drinking in as much of you as he can and relishing the tangy sweetness of your delectable taste. You throw your head back against the rolled-up blanket you had been using as a pillow earlier in the night, all while he eats you out like a man who's desperate to consume you.
But the aching throb of his cock, constricted by the thin fabric of his union suit, is far too angry for him to ignore. He's got to have you, now.
As he shuffles back up to his knees, leaving your cunt longing to cum on his tongue, you flutter your eyes open and snap your head up to try and catch a glimpse of what he's doing. Clearly, you ain't pleased with him teasing you like this, but when you feel his fervent movements, you realize that he's trying to work off his union suit. He wastes no time it peeling it away from his torso, but the moment he starts to tug it down his thighs, allowing his weeping cock to spring free, he nearly topples over and just about slams head-first into your body. Thankfully, he catches himself in the knick of time, grunting out a few curses as he grows impatient with his incapability to slide that damn fabric off his legs.
Amid his struggle to bare himself, you can't hide the giggle creeping up your throat as he curses under his breath, frustrated with how the fabric insists on clinging to his muscular legs. You help him slide the old red union suit off his body by digging your heels against the back of his thighs and pushing it down the long length of his legs until it reaches his ankles. The undergarment hangs loosely off his feet, causing him to kick it haphazardly off the side of the bed, letting it fall onto his trunk to skirt down on the grass below.
The instant his turgid length brushes over your inner thigh it twitches with the anticipation of feeling your tight, wet walls clamped around him, milking every drop of spend nestled away in his balls; spend that he so desperately wishes he could drain right inside of you. For now, however, just a single brush of your fingertips against him is enough. He has to hold his breath as he guides your delicate palm over his velvety shaft to stroke the needy ache away; if he isn't careful, he'd cum just like this. He hisses, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth as your fingers wrap around him and your thumb seeks out the weeping slit of his blunt tip. Arthur is, by no means, a small man: his legs are long, torso strong and wide, feet and hands are like bear paws, and his cock.. God, his cock is big. You could use both of your hands to stroke him and still, there'd be enough room for his tip to be entirely untouched. But you make sure as you stroke him with one hand, you pay extra attention to his tip, smearing his drooling precum over as much of him as you can, even down to the dark and wiry curls along his base and balls.
He's trying so hard to hold himself back, but with each tender pass of your thumb over that sweet spot along the underside of his tip, the last remnants of his patience crack away. You feel him crumbling like this, crumbling into a frenzied mess of low-hummed breaths and grunts through gritted teeth, and you fucking love it. Before you can even think about the desire roaring in the cavernous pit of your stomach, aching to be quelled, he smashes his lips into yours so hard that you're sure one of you is bleeding. The pain of his busted lip splitting back open is an angry reminder of the frustration still lingering at the back of his mind; he's as tensed up, pent-up, as a taut rope ready to snap.
With a quick movement, he swats your hand away, preventing you from jacking him into a fast climax. Then, in one swift motion, he grabs hold of your thighs and forcefully yanks you toward him, making the round swell of your plump ass plant firmly against the hard front of his strong body. Your thighs spread out, squishing over and conforming to the contour of his hips, the intimate contact leaving you both ragged and breathless. Your heart drums a frantic rhythm in your ears, drowning out all other thoughts and sensations that belong to you alone. It's as if your mind has descended into a tangled web of strangled noises and glorious sensations that only Arthur seems able to untangle or soothe. The faint outline of his body nestled between your thighs is a constant reminder that nothing beyond this moment, beyond him hidden away with you inside of this tent, matters.
The hard length of his turgid pride parts your folds, gliding over the slick thatch of curls usually concealing your cunt from his eyes, but with his sight hindered, he can explore every single nook, roll, and crevice without you shying away. His weight bares down on you as he holds your legs into the crook of his arms, nearly bending you in half as he drags his cock over your seam. It feels so good like this, even though you can hardly breathe with the thickness of your thighs pressing against your already plump stomach, but when the tip of his cock knocks into your clit, it makes the strained pain well worth it. The back of your hand flies over your mouth as he continues on like this, pleasuring himself and you with each agonizingly slow thrust. Hearing your ragged, strangled half-breaths, he releases your thighs, leaving them to splay out lazily on either side of his hips as he leans down to steal a tender kiss.
Upon breaking his lips away from yours, the low hum of his voice finds its way through the haziness of your lust-broken mind as he murmurs against the shell of your ear, "Gonna take ya just like this..."
Chapped lips skim over your jawline and trail to your lips, where he gives you another tender kiss filled with gentle affection: polar opposite to the rough sex-driven outlaw you've gotten a taste of tonight, but aligning perfectly with the man you fell in love with all those years ago. Scraped knuckles skim against your slick heat as he slips his hand in between you both and presses flat over the thick, dark curls at the base of his throbbing length. His fingers spread wide over his pubic bone, holding his cock between his middle and ring finger, stiffening himself outward to seek out your clenched entrance. With a slight pullback of his hips, he guides himself to your slit, catching right on the taut muscle before pressing forward and splitting you open.
A soft cry hums in the back of your throat and he shushes you so tenderly, sliding his hands over your knees and down your shins to soothe the ache he knows you're feeling. You're so fucking tight, hardly different from the first night he took you and bedded you properly back at the Saint's Hotel. It nearly shatters him when your walls flutter around him, squeezing and pulling him in inch by inch as if you were carved out just for him to sink into. He stills only for a short moment, letting you feel him nestled up against your cervix before he slides himself out and enters you again with a sharp snap of his hips. Lingering anger and frustration from the shit day he's had still pulsates at the back of his mind, desperate to be released as the tension in his body rises.
The tight walls of your cunt clench onto him for dear life as jolts of pleasure and pain rack through your body.
Behind the shield of your palm, you cry out, "A-Agh, Arthur!"
You're trying your best to be quiet, to still your ragged breaths and hide your whimpers, but he's making it incredibly difficult. Each slow drag of his cock coming out of you with a satisfying pop, only to pierce you with a hard roll of his hips, sends you reeling. You're seeing stars, shaking from the pleasurable burn of the passionate fire he's stirring within you. Strong hands grip your hips, keeping you still as his thrusts guide you into a steady rhythm that makes the old wooden frame creak and groan with every subtle and sharp movement that your bodies make. Being discreet has left his mind entirely, no longer concerned with what sounds are coming out of his tent as he fucks you good and proper. No, he couldn't care less when the sounds of your slick pussy squelches as he presses himself flush against you and groans against the pulse point of your neck.
"Don't want ya hidin' them purdy sounds, Darlin'. Let 'em out for me," he grunts out between slow but hard thrusts.
Usually, intimacy like this is savored in the shaking breaths and whispered little sounds only audible to your ears, but tonight... Tonight Arthur is something else entirely. Primal. A damn, dirty outlaw. You love this new view of him, but you can't allow yourself to let the others hear. What if someone were walking by? Or Hosea or Dutch hear you two going at it? You wouldn't be able to look at them for a week! But he doesn't give you much choice in the matter: snaking his hand down between your bodies, his muscular forearm presses against your plush belly while his thumb immediately finds your clit.
"O-Oh, God," you whine as the pad of his thumb circles over you, followed by his name dripping off your tongue like the sweetest honey. "At's it... Such a good girl takin' me so deep. Mmm.. Gonna cum 'round me ain'tchu? Gonna give me a real good one, baby?"
God damn him if his mouth ain't filthy. The way he croons out those little praises and words of encouragement has your climax building faster than you ever could have anticipated. And the swirling of his thumb? It has you shaking, whining, pleading, practically begging for your release as he talks you through it, "C'mon, Darlin'... I feel ya squeezin' me real tight," he praises, "'At's it. Focus on me."
With one more swipe of his thumb over your sensitive clit and his cock hitting that sweet spot right against your cervix, you're tensing, digging your heels into the thin mattress, and cumming around him so hard that you see white. It takes everything in you not to scream, but the strangled sound coming out of you is loud enough to warrant some head-turning if anyone were awake. The moment your walls flutter and start milking him, he falls forward and drops down onto his elbows to cage you in. His thrusts are relentless as he takes his anger out on you in this way, using every movement of his body to release the bristling anger clutching onto his mind like a damn vice grip. No matter how fervent and frenzied, he's still careful not to hurt you, always thinking about how good he's making you feel while chasing his own release.
Arthur isn't a man of many words, but when you're gripped around him like this, clutching him with your arms, legs, and your fluttering pussy, he is downright mouthy. "Oh, such a good girl for listenin' to me. Shh.. Shh. I gotchu, baby. I gotchu."
His mouth hovers over yours, claiming your lips as he kisses you hard and possessively. Moans spill out of you, traveling through the expanse of his throat until it hums within his chest and he echoes one back. To talk like this with him, in a language only two lovers could understand, is far more intimate and pleasurable than anyone could ever know. Arthur is yours and you are his, no ownership or proprietary claim, but just the pleasant knowledge that both of you choose to love each other is enough.
With a few more rolls of his hips, he's nearing his own orgasm: length twitching and engorging as his balls tighten. In desperation, he quickly climbs off of you and pulls his cock out from your core. His right hand tightens into a fist around himself, and although you can't see it, you hear the lewd, effortless slide of his hand vigorously pumping over his tip like his life depends on cumming for you.
Finally, his orgasm hits him, working its way out of his tightened balls and spurting over your plump mound and belly. If he could see his spend on you like this, it'd be enough to make him cum all over again. But both of you are far too exhausted to even consider that so soon. You're still shaking, panting heavily as he lowers himself down onto you, not caring that his sticky spend is now covering the front of his body as well, as your sweaty bodies come down from such an enormous height.
His touch traces a slow, deliberate path down your leg until his fingertips reach the softness of your hip, where he gives your flesh a gentle but firm grasp. Reveling in the smoothness of your skin and the feel of your curvy form beneath his palm, he lets out a slow exhale through his nose. The heat of his breath spills over your neck and shoulder, doubled by the heavy breaths leaving his lips as he lazily peppers your clammy skin with kisses.
After a long stretch of quiet spent nestled into his hair, breathing in the comforting remnants of campfire intermingled with his musky scent, your breathing finally begins to steady. Slowly, your senses return to you one by one, like pieces of a puzzle falling back into place. Shock and disbelief jolt through your entire being as it finally hits you how easily he manipulated your body with his own strength and skill as a lover. You'd heard of men being rough with women, but never did you think it could be this pleasurable.
Your voice finally cuts through the relative silence, carrying a deep sense of satisfaction and astonishment with it, "Wh-here in the hell did that come from?"
An amused chuckle rumbles inside his chest, slightly huffing out of his nose as he slightly pushes himself off of you to gauge your reaction, "Reckon I were a little pent up. Why? You like it?"
To say you liked it was an understatement, but you'd like anything as long as Arthur were right there with you to experience it just the same. While his right hand slides up over the plump contours of your body, appreciatively grabbing at the plushness of your stomach and breasts, he lovingly brushes a few stray strands of hair off your forehead stuck there by the sweat covering your body. You hum softly in agreement to his question, deciding that you did enjoy this different side of him you hadn't expected, despite his rough exterior.
"Mhmm.. 'S always good with you," the loving words you murmur cling to his heart and earn you a pleasant kiss that tastes like the remnants of his busted lip.
As his lips trail back down over your jawline, his beard delightfully scratches over your sensitive skin, causing you to hum in appreciation for him loving you like a man who worships the very ground you walk upon. Your own body follows his lead, fingertips glide down the entire length of his back, tracing the contour of muscle that hint at the immense strength lurking beneath. You can't help but marvel at his shape, this man you love so dearly, and how his body was molded for love and carved from such a hard life. While your fingertips glide across his muscled frame, you can feel the subtle shift of his body as he adjusts himself on top of you, notricebly more relaxed than before: a clear testamanet to the calming eddect your touch has on him.
Curiosity peaked, you murmur, "You relaxed now?" as your fingertips idly trace the two little dimples that grace the base of his spine, just above the firm and muscular curve of his ass.
An amused smirk tugs at the corner of his lips, obviously enjoying the path your fingertips are carving out over his back. He'd never admit it, but he loves it when you grab him unabashedly, palming his ass like he so often does to you. The warmth of his cock brushing over your leg, hardening much faster than he expected for a man his age, tells you all you need to know.
He agrees with you, humming softly against your chest as he inches himself down to where his mouth hovers over the plump swell of your breasts, "Thinkin' that we just might need a little more time for relaxin', don'tchu?"
A/N: Big thanks for the divider from @saradika-graphics and the beautiful gif from @sunwingsunset, please go send them some love for their work! <3
Other creators that expressed interest and drew inspiration from: @subpopizzy , @cassietrn , @coltermorning , @redwritr, @zae-heeyyy, @twola , @amorgansgal
Please do go check all the blogs I tagged! You surely won't be disappointed!
As always, sending my love - M. <3
#Thank you for reading - from the bottom of my little Appalachian Heart <3#arthur morgan smut#arthur morgan x reader#arthur morgan x reader smut#arthur morgan#rdr2 community#grumpy#fluff#arthur morgan rdr2#red dead redemption 2#john marston#rdr#dutch van der linde#molly o'shea#arthur morgan x female reader#arthur morgan x you
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