#ftberserker!au

[kurokoros]

*Please note that this is a brand new chapter, not an old one that’s been edited! It’s pretty important to the plot!

Lucy feels out of place in this city, more so than she’d care to admit. Pergrande isn’t a place for her kind, she knows. It isn’t safe here. Not for her. Not for most people, truthfully, but most of them have nowhere else to go. Lucy herself wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t necessary, and she’s beginning to wish she hadn’t come at all, aware of the curious eyes following her as she walks the streets, slipping through the alleys purposefully.

She looks out of place in this city, she knows, though hopefully they wouldn’t guess her origins are Fioren. Fiore and Pergrande haven’t gotten on well in decades, not since the Pergrande Civil War. Things have been bad since the Centari line usurped the throne.

Lucy glances down at herself, tugging on her top absentmindedly. When she entered Pergrande the cultural differences had nearly made her turn back. The soldiers were in golden colored armor from head to toe; the women covered in long dresses, red and brown in color, flowing and nearly sheer in some places. While Lucy didn’t consider herself underdressed in her long tunic and brown sleeveless jacket, she knew very well that she wouldn’t blend in with the natives. 

She was unfamiliar to them, and that made them watch her. Eyes have been on her for the last two weeks since she first entered Pergrande, the stares only growing worse the closer she came to the capital. It was unnerving, among other things. Every time a soldier stared she couldn’t help but think they were peeling back the layers of her skin, searching for the spark of magic in her blood.

Her fingers twitch at her sides, Lucy leaning back further against the wall behind her, rock scraping at her skin through her jacket. It’s uncomfortable, but she hardly notices, her mind elsewhere as she waits, the alley suffocating.

At least she had the sense to wear the colors of Pergrande, Lucy thinks, tugging at the long, red tunic she had adorned back in Fiore. She doesn’t remember where she bought it, just that she liked the delicate golden design on the front and the way it matched perfectly with a pair of long, striped socks she found the same day. Lucy never thought they would come in handy, but now she’s glad she bought them. She doesn’t stick out quite as much with the palette as she would wearing the blues common in Fiore.

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

I AM BACK AT IT AGAIN

Like honestly I read chapter 11 of Berserk by @rivendell101 and I felt inspired to draw Lucy!

This fic is honestly magical. Not only is it written with godlike perfection but it gives you the ability to draw things you never thought you could???? (except knives and hands. Got dang)

I am hella sick but I powered through to draw this badass girl and hopefully if I have the strength I’ll try to draw Berserk! Natsu !

(Note:I know the chapter said she wasn’t wearing a belt but I really couldn’t help it >_

[kurokoros]

His eyes follow Lucy as she flits around Makarov's shop, muttering to herself as she gathers cases of vials and other magicked objects and places them into a pair of baskets to bring into town. She shoves her hair back away from her face, strands falling out of the sloppy bun she tied it into earlier in the morning. She stops briefly to smile at him when he catches her eye, but says nothing, engrossed in her work. Her lips move, forming silent words as she goes through their stock, counting carefully.

A large cat Natsu hadn't noticed before sits between the baskets, blue eyes large and piercing, seeming to look right through him. It stares, silent and still save for the agitated twitching of its tail. It seems more curious than anything, though it hissed and swiped at him with one paw when Natsu first tried to pet it. Lucy laughed then, explaining that the cat, oddly named Happy, isn't fond of strangers, but that he would come around eventually.

Natsu is more confused than hurt by the animal's rejection. Besides the deer in the forest, not many animals have taken kindly to him, or any other Berserk, for that matter. Igneel used to say that the animals know what they were breed for, that they could smell the lingering of blood on their skin and the violence in their bones. Some animals seem to look passed it, after a time, but not all.

He can't fault them for that.

The cat watches him, gaze never leaving his, even when Lucy rubs him behind the ears and coos his name softly. A soft, happy trill leaves the animal, and he squints, pleased, though his gaze never once leaves Natsu.

There's something peculiar about the animal that Natsu can't place, something not quite right. The cat is large for one, reaching halfway up Lucy's thigh at his shoulders, much too tall for a normal housecat. His coat is near blue, almost silver in the moonlight, an unfamiliar shade. The eyes are what unnerve him the most. There's something entirely too human in his gaze, something youthful but also wise beyond years. Timeless. Ancient.

A ring of gold surrounds the blue in his eyes, and Natsu's mouth goes dry the longer the creature stares at him, looking right through him, peeling back the walls he's placed around himself.

"Happy!" Lucy chirps suddenly, potion bottles clacking together as she places them in the nearest basket. The cat snaps to attention, glancing at her with owlish eyes, another trill leaving the beast. His tail flicks again, friendly this time, and Lucy reaches out to pet him. Happy purrs at her touch, the low rumbles seeming to shake the room, a row of empty vials rattling together on Makarov's desk. One bottle threatens to fall, wobbling precariously, but Lucy catches it before it can slip to the ground and shatter.

The cat looks near smug at the glass in her hands, self-satisfaction flickering in his blue gaze.

[kurokoros]

Lucy ducks out of the way of a strike that nearly takes her head clean off, Jellal not holding back as he swipes at her, a knife clutched in each fist. His deft fingers spin the blades, expression blank, save for the small smirk pulling at his lips. She stumbles backwards, nearly tripping, but he doesn’t relent, coming after her a second time. She parries, cursing under her breath, and heaves for air, legs unsteady beneath her. Her knee slips under the pressure, but she forces herself to remain standing, unwilling to give in so easily.

She hadn’t noticed before how shaky she still is, near four weeks have passed since she and Natsu left Narja, nearly two since Romeo’s birthday, but she’s still plagued with exhaustion. Her limbs feel heavier than usual, her thoughts scattered, and the constant headache that seemed to pulse with the poison in her arm has come back. It’s manageable, nothing but a dull ache, but it’s enough to leave her unfocused. She hadn’t realized how absentminded she’d become in the last few months, how unfocused she’s been since coming home.

Jellal takes the opportunity to sweep her legs out from underneath her. Lucy topples to the ground with a shriek, the breath knocked from her lungs as she’s slammed against the ground. Wheezing, Lucy rolls away from another strike, Jellal aiming for her stomach. His foot grazes her hip as she twists, shoving herself back to her feet and putting distance between them. Lucy wets her lips, expression daring him to come again.

He blinks at her, slow and calculating, something in his expression hesitant for only a moment, questioning. Lucy’s gaze doesn’t waver, her grip tightening around the hilt of her knife, the worn leather smooth against her palm. Her eyes narrow, lips pulling back over her teeth, and Jellal sighs, rolling his shoulder so that it cracks. It pulls a wince from him, and in his training shirt Lucy can already see the faint bruise forming on his shoulder from where she kicked him. She guesses it had to hurt more than he was letting on.

[kurokoros]

The quite of the woods surrounds him slowly, the loud voices from the glade fading into nothingness the farther he slips into the forest. It's a welcome silence, for once in his life. Natsu has known too much silence in his life, the quiet so loud it leaves his ears ringing, a hollowness in his chest. That's how he always felt back in his cell in Pergrande, alone and afraid back when he was much younger. He hated the silence then, perhaps even more than he hated sound. All there was to hear back in those cages where the screams and snarls of his Brothers, the rattling of chains and fists bashing against iron doors. But it was the quiet that scared him. In those moments of silence he could feel the fighting spirit bleed from the veins of his kin, those not broken by the rings finally crumbling into pieces.

Being in Magnolia is something of a welcome change. While Laxus doesn't like him, Natsu would take his snide comments over silence, and Romeo has been more curious than anything else, asking questions and prodding at his past, albeit nervously. He doesn't seem to know what to do about the Berserk sharing his sister's room, confused, but not unkind. Makarov and Lucy have been good company, their chatter near constant, though not in an unpleasant way.

The party was too much though, too loud with too many faces staring at him: watching, waiting for him to do something. He kept to the shadows of the trees, but he could feel eyes on him constantly. Curious eyes. Unfriendly eyes. Too many eyes. It left his skin crawling, an uncomfortable feeling twisting in his stomach, and when Lucy left to speak with her brother he couldn't handle it anymore. He had to go, had to find someplace he simply breathe for a moment, relax and get away from the stares following him.

They were suffocating, like a heavy weight was pressing down on his chest. With Lucy gone he wasn't sure where to stay, and he could see in her eyes that she was worried for him, afraid he was overwhelmed. Natsu doesn't blame her for worrying. Truthfully, he could hardly breathe anymore when he walked away from her, his heart pounding beneath his ribs so loudly it began to drown out the sounds of laughter from the glade.

Natsu was afraid that if he didn't leave he could snap. The laughter and shouting reminded him too much of things he'd like to forget, wishing they would stay buried in the back of his mind, but he never has been able to forget them for long. His time in the Domus Flau Arena were too integral to his childhood, their impact on his life greater than most other things.

When he was younger, Natsu used to wonder what his life would have been if his mother never sold him to the slavers of Bosco. He would have lived in Alvarez, grown up in the Northlands with its great ice sheets and the roaring winters that never seemed to end, each night colder than the last. He would have had a family, names to match the vague faces in his memories. He never would have meet Igneel or Lucy, and for that he doubts he would change things even if he could.

Even if he hadn't been sold as a child, a part of him believes he would have ended up in Pergrande regardless. The King's Berserks came from everywhere, the north, the south, some scattered throughout the Ishgar Peninsula. If he couldn't find them in Pergrande, he would have come for them in the north. Natsu isn't so much a fool to believe he never would have ended up in Fiore or Pergrande.

He supposes he should be thankful he's still alive.

[kurokoros]

Three days.

That's how long Natsu's been gone.

Sighing to herself, Lucy reaches through the open window, a cool breeze tickling at her skin as she runs a finger along the edge of one of the old plant boxes decorating their home. Deft fingers avoid a splintered section of wood, tracing a swirled pattern engraved in the white wood. Lucy bites her lower lip, staring out the window absentmindedly, the glow of the moon shining throughout the open room. The silence disturbs her for the first time in years, the house too quiet. She's used to Natsu being beside her, his presence louder than anything she's ever known, but now the quiet seems to slink into the places he occupied for so many weeks.

It should be familiar to her, the quiet, the moment of piece as she finds herself the last one awake in the night. Laxus is an early riser, spending his days working at Makarov's forge outside, crafting weapons for their grandfather to enchant. And Romeo, young as he is, enjoys his hours of sleep, his energy burning out with the sunlight. Makarov is up late into the night, but she rarely sees him, the old man tinkering away at some project of his, hidden away in his workshop or practicing spells in his room.

The darkest part of the night is when she finds herself alone.

[kurokoros]

Lucy's hair turns to gold in the morning light, soft and entrancing, and he finds himself winding his fingers through the tangled strands. She sighs in her sleep, pressing into his touch, and he smiles for a moment before his expression hardens. Now, as she sleeps, Natsu can see the dark circles under her eyes, the faintest hint of tension in the crease of her brow, small signs of her exhaustion. She fell asleep almost immediately last night, curling into his side and winding herself around him tight, afraid he's disappear again.

Wincing, Natsu brushes her hair away from her face, letting his knuckles linger on her cheek. She shifts, murmuring something as she stirs, and Natsu pulls his hand back, not wanting to wake her. She settles after a moment, body heaving with a sigh as she tucks her face against her pillow.

He watches her for a moment longer, drinking in the sight of her with greedy eyes before finally tearing himself away. Natsu shakes his head, his lips twisting into a grin when her fingers twitch, hand searching for him on the mattress, but unable to find the source of heat radiating from beside her. Eventually, she stops searching, hand going limp against the bed, her body rising with her deep breathes.

The mark on her arm is nearly worn away, a skeleton of what it was after going days without being redrawn. Lucy could have done it on her own, the paint left in her bag, but his heart swells at the idea of her waiting for him to come back, wanting him to paint it on her himself. Or perhaps she was simply waiting for it to fade, not wanting the reminder of him on her skin.

Running off was rash of him, especially after what she said, but he could barely breathe, standing there with her staring at him, his mind clouded with too many thoughts something inside him just waiting to snap. His burst of rage earlier hadn't quelled the monster inside him, still clawing to get out. Natsu was terrified he might hurt her if he stayed there, say something he didn't mean or have his fury rise to an uncontrollable level.

There's a point they can't come back from, the Berserks, a point where the bloodlust and anger takes over everything, their urge to protect outweighed by an intense need to destroy. That's what the collars bring out in them, their minds going blank as they fly into a frenzy. They can't feel anything then, not broken bones, not weariness, only rage. The collars enhanced that state in them, dragging it to the surface and making them the bloodthirsty monsters the world wanted them to be.

He didn't know what to do in that moment but run, needing to get away from her before he did something awful. Lucy always had a way of calming his nerves, suppressing the beast, but in that moment she was one of the things making him lose his mind, Natsu still confused with everything that happened in such a short time. He would rather be dead than hurt her again, and all he could think to do was run and not look back, knowing if he saw those honey eyes he wouldn't be able to look away, pinned under her gaze.

[kurokoros]

The room goes quiet, not so much as a whisper flitting through the enclosed space, the silence so loud it rings in her ears. Laxus' expression hardens as he stares back at his cousin, gaze flicking between her and the unfamiliar man at her side, a sneer on his lips as he looks Natsu over, gaze lingering on the golden armor covering the lower half of his torso. After several seconds his smile slips away, smugness vanishing, though Lucy knows it won't remain that way for long. His spine straightens, Laxus rising to his full height and glaring at Natsu, fingers twitching. Sparks flicker from his digits, the air crackling with electricity as his agitation spills through the cracks in his resolve.

The air smells of lightning, a storm curling through the area between them, and if she didn't know better she would think rain was coming.

Laxus never has had control over his magic, constantly shocking people, sometimes to the point of pain, though she knows it's not for want. As a child he could do little more than create sparks on his fingers, the jolts teasing and more startling than painful, but as he aged his lightning became stronger, more unpredictable—dangerous. There was no one to teach them how to control the magic bubbling beneath their skin, but while Lucy's gusts of wind are relatively harmless, Laxus' shocks began to hurt. And the more they hurt others, the angrier it made him, which only affected his magic negatively.

The pale scar on her side tingles faintly, a reminder of things best forgotten.

[kurokoros]

The words keep repeating in his head. A war. Just another damn war. It's always a war. That's all the Berserks are good for anymore. Fighting. Killing. Giving in to the beasts. It's always another fight. The shouting drifts into background noise, his ears ringing sharply as the voices rise in pitch. Lucy shouts something, but the words are lost to him, drowned by the pounding of his pulse. The accusations strike him, Natsu unable to peel his eyes from the four small, silver scars on Lucy's arm and the scabbed line beneath it.

The sight knocks the breath straight from his lungs, a wheezing gasp ripping from his chest. Something tight curls around his throat, squeezing, and for a moment his mind blanks.

Cool metal wraps around his neck, growing hot to the touch as it presses tight to his skin. The gold glows, searing his flesh, and Natsu flinches as he feels the sharp sting of something pressing against his temple. It worms through his mind, curling in the darkest corners of his thoughts, smothering his conscious. The pain grows, his head pounding and a strangle sound leaves him as he squeezes his eyes shut. Something inside his mind tears, an arc of pain shooting down his spine.

He twitches, jerking oddly, and Natsu bites his lip to keep from screaming at the phantom sensation around his throat. Tears burn at his eyes, but he holds them back. Natsu's nails dig into his palms and his teeth grind together audibly, but no one turns his way.

A familiar voice breathes against his ear, telling him to kill, to fight. Whispers of war tickle at his senses, the blood in his veins boiling as his expression goes blank. Darkness begins to swallow his thoughts, vague wisps of conversation flickering through the haze.

With a gasp it all disappears. The burning at his throat is gone, never there to begin with, and his tunnel vision expands, Natsu's gaze snapping around the unfamiliar room as he regains his bearings. He isn't in Pergrande anymore. He's in Fiore, with Lucy.

He isn't a soldier—a weapon—anymore.

[kurokoros]

Returning to Fiore is something Natsu never expected to do. He never once wanted to return to this country, not after what happened to him here. After the rings and the violence, Natsu always thought this was the last place he’d want to come back to. Alvarez was where he pictured himself, or perhaps the northern tip of Seven, where he could hide away forever. Not Fiore, never Fiore. He has too many memories of this place, of Igneel and the Red Night. Not all are bad, but each one leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

Now, however, he doesn’t feel that ache in his chest, his heart doesn’t twist and squeeze as he walks through the forest, the trees towering over the three of them as they walk, silence curling around them, none of them knowing what to say.

Natsu eyes Jellal warily, his lips pressing into a thin line as he observes the other man, unsure what to make of the Ranger. While he seems kind enough, he’s also quiet, his gaze following Natsu as he walks, something sharp in his dark eyes that makes Natsu uncomfortable. He’s used to people staring, watching him like he’ll snap, afraid of the beast from legends, waiting for it to lit its head and strike. Natsu hates that look, his blood boils and his lip curves up into the slightest hint of a snarl as he glares at Jellal, a challenge in his eyes.

Jellal merely blinks back, unconcerned, and stares ahead. His gaze shifts away from Natsu, Jellal’s hands sliding into his pockets as he glances up at the sky, the blue a paler shade than his hair, the sun bright overhead, not a cloud to be seen. A crow cries out overhead, a tree branch shaking as the large bird lands, peering down at them curiously, head twisting around as it watches the sunlight glint off the necklace Lucy wears, gold flickering.

Natsu rips his gaze from the bird, glancing down at Lucy, watching her for a moment, concerned when he sees the nervous glint in her eyes, Lucy worrying her lower lip. Her fingers twitch at her sides, Lucy drumming a pattern against her thigh, a random rhythm that Natsu vaguely recognizes, unsure where he heard it before. He knows she’s worried about returning home, excited to see her family, but nervous about their reaction.

He can’t help but feel the same way. As much as he trusts Lucy, entirely willing to place his life in her hands, he knows that her family isn’t her. While Lucy accepted him, looked passed the blood on his hands and the monster he was made to be, there’s no guarantee that her family will be the same.

[kurokoros]

Lucy can only watch in horror as Natsu bolts towards the tree line, murderous gaze locked on the ranger slinking out of the shadows, cloaked in earthy tones. It's no surprise they didn't notice him earlier. Fiore's Rangers have always been stealthy, practically ghosts. No one sees them until it's too late and there's no running away. She's never known them to attack like this before, however, and she's stunned unable to move as she watches Natsu rush towards the stranger, his teeth bared threateningly.

Only it isn't a stranger, it's Jellal. She can't see their face, but she knows. Those blue feathers leave no room for uncertainty. Jellal is the only one that uses blue feathers on his arrows, dying them carefully. It started as a joke, Laxus always used to call him a bluebird, the birds the same shade as Jellal's hair. Jellal never liked the name, but adopted it as his own eventually, turning the mocking joke into something powerful.

She stares at the ranger, so sure that it's her friend, but he doesn't even look her way, eyes on Natsu, and she's struck by the startling thought that he doesn't know it's her. All he sees is two strangers—and a Berserk at that. She'd forgotten how much people in Fiore despise people like Natsu, shoved it to the back of her mind and ignored it, hoping her family would be different. She was terrified of what they might do, but she wasn't expecting a reaction like this.

"Natsu!" she calls after him, hoping to gain his attention. "Natsu, stop!" He doesn't hear her, Lucy's voice lost to the wind whipping around her, her own magic stealing away her voice. Hissing in frustration, she struggles to her feet, her sore arm wobbling beneath her, still stiff from being bled out days earlier. She ignores the linger twinges of pain, knowing there are more important things to focus on, and shoves herself upwards, biting back a wince.

Her eyes widen in horror as she realizes she's too late. Jellal rushes forward, cowl pulled low over his face, his eyes barely visible as they glint in the light, so dark they're nearly black. So quickly that Lucy almost doesn't notice, Jellal slips a knife into his palm, coiling like a snake prepared to strike, poised as he waits for Natsu to come in close, hoping for a quick fight.

Her breath catches in her throat, the blades glinting in the light, and Lucy calls out to them one more time, begging them to stop, but they don't hear her. She has to stop them, she knows, or they'll kill each other. All Jellal sees is a Berserk, a monster that could rip him apart, and Natsu's anger has been sparked, Jellal making the mistake of nearly killing the two of them. She's learned that Natsu won't forgive that.

This won't be like her fight with Natsu so long ago. There's no way to simply turn off this anger boiling beneath his skin, and Jellal is stronger than her. Lucy couldn't kill Natsu, couldn't overpower him, but Jellal could. It would cost him his life, but she thinks Jellal could do it.

They collide halfway across the small field, a small pocket in the forest, a steam bubbling as it winds through the tall grass. The trees tower over them, shading much of the clearing, the chill of winter curling through the air. Everything goes horrifyingly quiet for a moment, not a sound for what must be miles.

[kurokoros]

The Fiore border looms in front of them, more threatening than anything else she's ever known, not the quiet border to home that she's always considered it to be in the past. Lucy's taken to dragging her feet, all of her excitement from days earlier bleeding from her slowly, each step more painful than the last. Natsu either doesn't notice or assumes she's simply tired, slowing to match her pace, his side pressing to hers every few moments, silently asking if she's okay, is she's hurting or needs to rest. She doesn't. Lucy's fine, better than she has been in weeks, but the real reasons she's hesitating aren't something she wants to think about, preferring to bury them away. She's afraid of the answer, but knows there's only so much time left to ask.

It's a scary thought, that he could leave just as easily as he came, disappearing without a word, off to somewhere unknown, searching for something better than Ishgar, somewhere far away where Pergrande can't reach him. She wouldn't blame him for leaving, but she would miss him, perhaps more than she's ever missed anyone else.

With her family, she's always known where to find them, knowing they'll be there waiting for her, arms open with smiles on their faces. They wouldn't disappear on her, not without a goodbye, and they'd always come home, even if it took years for them to do so. She has faith in her family, knowing they'd always be there when she needed them. They'd fight for her, and she would do the same for them.

Natsu is a closed book to her. He was there so suddenly, engraving himself into her life and her heart, becoming someone that mattered to her so quickly. It felt right, meeting him, keeping him close. He's been by her side everyday for weeks, a constant presence that makes her feel more safe than anything else ever could. There's something special about him, something fierce but so gentle it almost hurts.

It's strange, how she can barely picture her life without him now, knowing she'd feel hollow inside, a small piece of her missing, lost. Lucy knows that something wouldn't feel right about him not being there. She also knows she doesn't have the right to ask him to stay.

[kurokoros]

There’s a new chapter of Berserk being posted tomorrow night (chapter 32), and here’s a brief preview ;)

Slowly, he loops her arm around his neck, Lucy’s limb curled around him lazily as his hands settle on her hips, pulling her tighter against him until their breath is mingling, Natsu closer than he’s ever been before. The mark on her wrist presses against the back of his neck, her fingers weaving through his hair, and Natsu sighs. His own arms curl around her tightly, but loose enough to allow her to pull away should she want to.

But she doesn’t, want to, that is. She doesn’t think she ever could want to leave this, not with him holding her the way he is. She feels safe here, comfortable, and she thinks she could stay here for hours.

Natsu stares down at her, gaze flicking to her lips briefly before coming back up. She nods, swallowing, and Natsu releases a relieved breath, practically sighing. Lucy waits, her fingers tangling in his hair as he squeezes her waist. He leans back in suddenly, chin dipping as his gaze flickers to her lips, causing Lucy’s breath to catch.

[kurokoros]

Her bag feels heavier than before. Not for an increase of things, but because something has changed suddenly, with her and Natsu especially. It's not unpleasant, just heavy, some kind of tension thick in the air. She isn't sure what it is or what it means, it's simply there, wrapped around them like a warm blanket, pleasant for a time, but easily becoming stifling and too hot—nearly suffocating. It's nothing he's done, Natsu being gentle and patient with her since she woke up, a constant reassuring presence that she's come to rely on, in some ways. He's been watching her since she came to, hardly leaving her side unless necessary, and Lucy doesn't mind. What happened at the pub terrified her, Lucy afraid that if she closes her eyes, she won't wake up again. It's a nagging feeling in her gut, something ice cold and bitter that makes panic well in her throat. He's always there to soothe her anxiety, a reassuring hand on her back as he whispers to her, calming her. It's been days since she woke up, and she knows he's grown restless waiting like this, Natsu not enjoying being cooped up in Magi's home. When he's not at her side, he's pacing the halls, still stiff from sitting in one place for so long. He'd denied it, of course, but Katya was quick to tell her that Natsu absolutely refused to leave her side while she was being consumed by the venom in her veins, picking a fight when Magi first tried to make him leave. Natsu didn't argue with that, green eyes locked with hers, something heavy and heated in his gaze. He looked at her like she would disappear, and it made her stomach churn at the thought. She hadn't meant to scare him. That's the last thing she would ever want to do to him, but she couldn't help it, couldn't control the magic in her blood, slowly worming through her entire body, eating away at her until nothing was left, until she was almost gone. Katya whispered to her that her heart stopped only for a moment, but it was enough to send Natsu into a blind frenzy, the Berserk releasing a low, mournful sound and looking ready to snap before she began breathing again. She's glad he stopped himself. She wouldn't know what to do if something happened to him because of her. Lucy would never forgive herself for that.

[kurokoros]

Natsu watches the slow rise and fall of Lucy's chest, her breath hitching every third inhale, only to smooth once more, as if it never happened. Her expression is pinched even as she sleeps, distressed. He knows she's still in pain, perhaps less than before, but pain is pain regardless of the amount. And Lucy must have been in a lot of pain, considering how much she screamed when Magi made that first cut.

The sound echoes in his ears when it's quiet, nothing real to drown out the sounds inside his head. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to forget that sound, not even if he tried. Lucy had never screamed like that before, not that he can remember. And he would, remember that is. He would never be able to forget something so awful. She'd been hurting for so long because of him, and somehow she was able to sit so close to him, to smile at him like nothing was wrong.

His fingers play with hers, more of a nervous tick than anything else. Natsu's been doing it a lot lately, focusing on things like her breathing and the smallest twitches in her expression, touching her fingers to make sure she's still warm, still solid and alive. Faeborne are mostly human, they die just the same as everyone else, but all week he's had the awful feeling that if he turned away from her for a moment, she would simply disappear.

[kurokoros]

:D