#ft. aroon

[niekwrites]

closed starter for @lullabyhrt

Suraj decided to instead of waiting inside of the cafe - where they'd been about 30 minutes before the time them and Aroon had decided to meet up - to wait outside of it. Just because... well, because they were nervous and they felt like fresh air might help to stop themself from overthinking having a nice chill time with a friend. A friend, you hear! Certainly they didn't need their heart to make this anymore difficult, though it was adamant that it tried at least. When they saw Aroon appear around the corner, they smiled and did a little wave, as if it wasn't perfectly clear that they were standing there.

[b4rredteeth]

@scarlctheart ft. Freya - before 11.30 pm

Suraj had gotten most of the parts of their outfit out of Nivant’s closet, not sure if it was their brother’s or his partners. Not that it mattered, they figured they looked close enough to the animated character that it wouldn’t get anyone’s attention as they hadn’t spend a single dollar to put it together. Now that was the least of their worries. They went out with Lou plenty, ending up at the club with Lou’s friends, dancing, kissing strangers, staying far away from Mindy if they could help it. And that would be their weekly outing. The other nights they would stay in, watch a movie, either with Aroon or with Mei, depending on who was available, or they would be working. 

Now they were at a Halloween party, playing dress up, suddenly extremely aware of all the familiar faces around the place. They felt like they couldn’t just disappear in the crow, even if they had one of the most boring costume. Anyone who recognised them could come up to them, would have a reason to. And it filled them with dread. 

They hid in a corner somewhere away from the crowds, reading the book they had as a prop to get their heart-beat under control, when someone bumped into their make-shift hide-out, and their eyes shot up to find Freya. “Freya, hi! Uhm… I’m not hiding… I’m just… taking a break.”

[desibeatsfm]

Bollywood Remix

BOLLYWOOD REMIX SONGS

BOLLYWOOD REMIX DJ SONGS

BOLLYWOOD REMIX SONG

BOLLYWOOD REMIX

BOLLYWOOD DJ REMIX SONG

BOLLYWOOD REMIX DJ SONGS

CLUB MIRCHI 14–12–2019 DJ RICHARD AND MIRCHI DEEP

Filhall Remix DJ Vispi

Play Life Podcast Episode 028 with DJ NYK and Steve Aoki Gur Nalo Ishq Mitha (Remix) — DJ Mercy Smash it Up 2 DJ Shilpi Sharma Make It To Heaven Remix DJ Amour

Sadi Gali (Remix) DJ NYK Mashup — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Machayenge (Remix) — Emiway Bantai — DJ Dharak — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Prada (Jass Manak) Dj Pearl Remix — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Machayenge (Emiway Bantai) Dj Shouki Mr. Swap Bootleg — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Dj Chetas-Coka (Remix Life Is A Mashup VOL 2

Baaki Sab First Claas Hai ( Kalank — Dj Piyu Dhamaal Mix

Coca Cola (Remix) — Luka Chuppi — DJ Bose

Machayenge (Emiway Bantai) Dj Shouki Mr. Swap Bootleg — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Dj Chetas-Coka (Remix Life Is A Mashup VOL 2

Baaki Sab First Claas Hai ( Kalank — Dj Piyu Dhamaal Mix

Coca Cola (Remix) — Luka Chuppi — DJ Bose

Hawayein (Remix) — M-ROX

Coka (Remix) — DJ Avi #Ghy

ClubMirchi (EP 30–03–19) with DJ Richard & Mirchi Ayantika

Holi Khele Raghuveera ( Bouncy Mix) Dj Piyu — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Holi Khele Raghuveera ( Bouncy Mix) Dj Piyu — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Go Pagal (Holi Mix ) DJ ABHI REMIX — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Tum Saath Ho (Remix) DJ Farrukh Squashup — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Daryaa (Manmarziyaan) DJ NYK Remix — MUSIC 100 LIFE

APNA TIME AYENGA (REMIX) DJ UJJWAL — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Aankh Marey (Remix) — Rigisk (Ashik Sarkar) — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Naukar (Remix) — Sharry Maan — DJ Smita GC — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Bewafa (Moombahton Mix) Dj Piyu — MUSIC 100 LIFE

SAATON JANAM (REMIX) — DJ AJ (DUBAI) & PATELBROSS — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Punjabi Swag Vol.5 — DJ Ashmac — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Leja Re (Dhvani Bhanushali) DJ Vispi (Leja Re (Dhvani Bhanushali) DJ Vispi)

Alia Bhatt Mashup Dj Dalal London VFX Babalu Xoxx Alia Bhatt (Alia Bhatt Mashup Dj Dalal London VFX Babalu Xoxx Alia Bhatt)

Machayenge (Dance Mix) — Emiway — DJ V Sky (Machayenge (Dance Mix) — Emiway — DJ V Sky)

DJ MUDIT GULATI — DESI BASS — VOL4 (DJ MUDIT GULATI — DESI BASS — VOL4)

DJ Shilpi Sharma — Chunari Mashup (DJ Shilpi Sharma — Chunari Mashup)

Coka (Remix) — Deejay Vishal (Coka (Remix) — Deejay Vishal)

Apna Time Aayega (Remix) — DJ Abhishek Phadtare — MUSIC 100 LIFE

CLUB MIRCHI 09–03–2019 WITH DJ Richard and Mirchi Deep — MUSIC 100 LIFE

UNITY 006 — DJ A.SEN — MUSIC 100 LIFE

DIL LE GAYEE KUDI (DESI BOUNCE REMIX) — DJ ABHISHEK — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Emiway Bantai — Machayenge (Remix) DJ ARV (Mumbai) — MUSIC 100 LIFE

DJ Chetas — Tera Ghata Vs Attention (Remix) LifeIsAMashupVOL2 — MUSIC 100 LIFE

KHELEGI KYA (REMIX) — GAJENDRA VERMA — RIGISK — MUSIC 100 LIFE

PHOTO (REMIX) — LUKKA CHUPPI — DJ RAWKING — MUSIC 100 LIFE

JAI JAI SHIV SHANKKAR (PRIVATE EDIT) DJ KAASH — MUSIC 100 LIFE

CHAMMA CHAMMA (REMIX) — DJ VISHAL — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Tere Te (Moombahcore Remix) — VDJ DANNY X Dj Neil Cruise — MUSIC 100 LIFE

THE SHADOW EXPERIENCE 13 — DJ SHADOW DUBAI — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Pal (Jalebi) — DJ NYK & Aroone ft. Sahil Khan — MUSIC 100 LIFE

GIRLS LIKE YOU (REMIX) — HI7Z — MUSIC 100 LIFE

MUNGDA (REMIX) — TOTAL DHAMAAL — DJ VISPI — MUSIC 100 LIFE

TUJHE BHULA DIYA (REMIX) — BOSKY — MUSIC 100 LIFE

O SANAM (REMIX) — LUCKY ALI — DJ JASMEET — MUSIC 100 LIFE

After Breakup Mashup — DJ Utkarsh x DJ Avi — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Kya Baat Ay (Club Remix) DJ Ravz — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Sakhiyaan X Middle (Mashup) DJ Prudhvi — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Jalwa Remix Deejay K — MUSIC 100 LIFE

Kamariya Remix DJ Sway — MUSIC 100 LIFE

EK RAAT (REMIX) — VILEN — DJ GODDESS X SPEEDY SINGH — MUSIC 100 LIFE

TENNU LE KE JANA (REMIX) — MUSIC 100 LIFE

PUTT JATT DA (REMIX) — DILJIT DOSANJH — DJ MISSY K — MUSIC 100 LIFE

SAJNA VE SAJNA (REMIX) — DJ SPINMASTER KAZ X DJ ANKIT ROHIDA — MUSIC 100 LIFE

MUSIC 1000 LIFE — INDIA’S NO 1 BOLLYWOOD REMIX SONGS PORTAL

[idhyukjae]

sanctify

ft. @idaroon; coming to terms that it’s always them against the world.

he’s going to say it. 

he has to. he knew he was going to since the very first day that he came to terms with it. knew that he had to sit down, knew that he had to tell aroon, knew that he had to be as precise and concise as he could be.

naturally, it was scary at first. the realization, the initial thought of feeling so much more than just fraternal love for his best friend. he should’ve known, he should’ve known that so much blind love, so much adulation and so much devotion to him would lead to something more. he should’ve known that being this close for so many years now would lead to this. the days filled with laughs, the days filled with hyukjae cracking stupid jokes, the days filled with rehearsals, with sweat, with tears, with hyukjae almost crumbling down but with aroon holding him up. he should’ve known.

then there’s the nights, the late night chats from each other’s beds, talking about nonsense, sometimes with aroon remaining quiet as hyukjae rambled on and on and on about life, about anime, about video games, about whatever came to mind. he should’ve known that cuddling with his best friend after a nightmare would lead to this. he should’ve known that loving him with everything in him, with so much abandon at this point would lead to this.

and yet, he was clueless at first.

he should’ve known that kissing him for the first time wasn’t just a ‘thing friends do’, but it was his heart coming to terms with the simple fact: that he was in love with him. perhaps had been for years, perhaps had masked all of that with a friendship that wrapped both of them like a warm, cozy blanket at night. he should’ve known that feeling jealous about him sleeping with someone else was exactly just that: jealousy. it had nothing to do with wanting his friend to settle down with whoever, it had nothing to do with wanting his friend to just stay put and ‘behave’. it had everything to do with the fact he wanted to be the one to kiss him, to hold him, to protect him, to love him. 

and god, love him is everything he wants to do. so desperately, like there’s nothing else left for him to do in this world but to love aroon, to make up for all the lost time, for all the time hyukjae spent being completely unaware, completely clueless. he wants all of that, he wants him.

but that’s the problem.

aroon doesn’t want him. because if he did, he would’ve told him already, right? aroon had come to terms with himself, with who he was, he wasn’t confused like hyukjae was, he knew what he wanted in life, he knew what he liked. so, he would’ve told him, right? but he never did. always a friend in his eyes, hyukjae supposed. he can’t exactly blame him for that, right? how could he? guys aroon had been with had and were everything hyukjae wasn’t, and he? he convinced himself.

so here they are, in their room, silent falling between them after hyukjae had requested to have some words with him. things were still awkward, even after the brief moment of closeness they had shared the other night. but it was the same, always the same. even though the other 1nferno boys weren’t around, hyukjae still asked aroon if they could talk in their room, just because he didn’t want anyone to interrupt them.

“i’ve been thinking about this for weeks now. how to tell you, how to let you know.” he’s sitting on his bed, calming himself down, making sure not to stutter, “nothing seems to work in my head.” he tells him, slowly getting up, ending the distance between them as he stands in front of his best friend, “so i’m just going to tell you.” he stares at him for a couple of seconds, yet, it feels like some sort of eternity. this moment, this intimacy, all of his feelings swimming around his stomach, chest, arms, legs, brain, feeling dizzy all of the sudden. 

but he is confident. so he confesses.

“i love you.” it comes out, firm, strong, no stutter, no hesitation. “i love you, aroon.”

[idseokyung]

exit wounds.

ft. @idaroon; detail your characters practicing one of their secondary skills; lyric writing (+5/+5).

it’s dark. the lights are off, the curtains are closed. seokyung would even dare to say it was quiet if it wasn’t for aroon’s breathing, one that had gotten calmer and quieter in contrast to how erratic it had been just moments ago; when their bodies moved against each other, when they touched, kissed, and tasted. maybe his breathing could be heard too, but he didn’t perceive it, maybe because he was too focused on the man he was sharing this hotel bed with. it had to be. 

some other times they would be laughing, probably even already planning when to meet next time, you know, casualties. but they’re not. it’s quiet and if anyone knows seokyung, then they know he hates quiet. quiet makes people overthink. it makes people more emotional, it makes people... get in their heads. and the thing is: he knows why they’re quiet. it’s because aroon’s head really isn’t all here, he can only assume. 

sure, he loves when they fuck and he’s a pretty good fuck at that. but before all of that? he’s a friend, a close one. seokyung is aware of his life, of the most important aspects anyway. he knows aroon thinks too much lately, yet still gives himself to him ever so willingly. it feels great, it’s a bonus and it’s also the reason why he doesn’t pressure him to speak up, he doesn’t really press on the matter, he doesn’t want to bother him. which, honestly, it’s for the better; seokyung has never been good with words, especially when it comes to love. 

god, he hates love. but maybe because he can’t really have a relationship to save his life. he’s too selfish, too self-absorbed, too obsessed with himself. it never really ever works, so he’s not the best when it comes down to any of that. yet, he still shifts around to his side and looks at his friend. yes, they’re not a couple and there’s nothing romantic between them but it doesn’t mean he can’t admire how pretty he is, after all, that’s the reason why they got themselves into this.

“as quiet as a tomb.” he breaks the silence, one hand coming up, fingers brushing aroon’s hair out of his face, “you’re not even complaining about midas pulling some bullshit on you this time; so whatever thing going on in your head right now must be tough then.” he knows what that ‘whatever thing’ is, but in such circumstances like this, he doesn’t even dare to say it out loud. probably just to see if aroon is in the mood to talk about it or not. “or, was it the moaning, hm? you were actually pretty loud tonight, so i wouldn’t be too surprised if your voice is gone because of it.” and he smiles at him, so he knows he’s joking, so he knows he can trust him if he wants to talk.

[idtali]

misunderstanding.

ft. @idaroon at the sbs cafeteria; gayo daejun mid-rehearsals ~ pre-show.

Today was supposed to be an exciting day, just as any other day she had to go out there and perform. Yet, for some reason, despite all the good-happenings in her life, she felt way more nervous than usual; maybe because she was still trying to get used to all of this after her rough year.

Kind of pathetic, when you really think about it.

But Taehee knew she had to be patient with herself. She was really good at hiding how terrified and nervous she could be about something, so she obviously didn’t want to worry anyone with her nonsensical nerves. Not Heaven’s manager and certainly not her group mates. 

Rehearsal was great and it sure helped her feel a bit more confident, so it wasn’t like she could complain too much or heck, even worry about messing up. She had to remind herself that everything would be fine, she just needed to take a deep breath, drink something and... actually, eat something.

It was almost as if someone read her mind because before she could go find something to eat, a boy approached her nervously, as if intimidated with her presence. In his hands, he was holding a sandwich and with his eyes glued to the floor, he mumbled; “For you.”

“For me?” she raised an eyebrow. Before she could say anything else, the shy boy walked away, leaving her with a sandwich in her hands and... a lot of questions. Shaking her head, she sat back down again, shrugging as she gently unwrapped it, not wanting to ruin the packaging because she wanted to use it to hold it.

However, as soon as it was unwrapped, a small piece of paper sprung out of it, landing on the table. Reaching out for it, Taehee’s eyes widened as soon as she read the message. It was a phone number... and from...

“Aroon?” she questioned out loud, quickly realizing her mistake and pressing her lips tightly against each other. Well, that was surely unexpected! Especially because, of course, while she was familiar with the younger male, she didn’t expect something like this from him. It was... awkward.

She couldn’t entertain the idea, though. She was happily taken and although his gesture had been very adorable, she simply wasn’t interested. Taehee being Taehee, instead of ignoring it or whatever; she stood up and walked through the crowd of people until she spotted him. He seemed to be mid-convo with others, but she had no problem in politely interrupting their conversation, asking if she could have a minute to talk in private with him. 

As soon as everyone walked away, she let out a soft chuckle, “Sooo... I’m not exactly sure how to address this? But.” from her pocket, she pulled out the paper with his number and name. It was much better to just confront the situation than walk in circles, “I suppose I just wanted to say this is a very cute gesture but I... I’m not really... interested? I mean, gosh I’m sorry, me just walking up to you and I feel like I’m being rude now but.” she handed the paper back to him. “Someone gave me this? And you’re the only Aroon I know so, I assumed this is from you?” and then she closed her mouth before she could start an endless rambling. 

[riddimworld2021]

LALABELLA RIDDIM - 1996 - FLAMES RECORDS

LALABELLA RIDDIM – 1996 – FLAMES RECORDS

LALABELLA RIDDIM – 1996 – FLAMES RECORDS Tracklist: Tony Rebel – Jah Is By My Side Ras Shiloh – Are You Satisfied Little Kirk – God A Di Man Sesbastian – Mr. Speaker Everton Blender – Ghetto People Song Lebanculah, Sugar Black – Oh Jah Honey Comb – Hurt No More Uton Green – No Looking Back Aroon Silk – The Right Path Manna Fanna – Black People Unite Shanty Plus – Moving East Mutabaruka Ft Tony…

[cicadaparty]

TEN SONGS.

Tagged by beautiful stranger @oceanhunters​  (list the top ten songs you are listening to lately, and tag ten mutuals to do the same.)

i. Ultralight Beam - Kanye West 

ii. Havana - Camilla Cabello 

 iii. LOYALTY Kendrick Lamar ft. Rihanna

iv. Hella - Cayucas 

v. Cherry Wine - Hozier vi. Hold Me Tight Or Don’t FALL OUT BOY   vii. Someone Tell the Boys -Samia viii. Blessings (Reprise) - Chance the Rapper ix. Freaky Love - Captain Kidd ix. Homemade Dynamite - Lorde

Tagging: @mac-aroons​ @calamityeggplant​ @ivyleaguesweater​+ anyone else who wants to do it!

[misnstuffneedingattention]

The squad, bibi about shannon ft aroone

Kayo: What’s wrong with the way I dress?

Alan: Some people might say that the all leather ensemble kind of makes you look like an evil villain.

Alan: Not me, I think you look like a sexy motorcycle. 

Gordon: Pull it together Alan.

[desibeatsfm]

Bollywood Remix Dj Song

BOLLYWOOD REMIX SONGS

BOLLYWOOD REMIX DJ SONGS

BOLLYWOOD REMIX SONG

BOLLYWOOD REMIX

BOLLYWOOD DJ REMIX SONG

BOLLYWOOD REMIX DJ SONGS

CLUB MIRCHI 14-12-2019 DJ RICHARD AND MIRCHI DEEP

Filhall Remix DJ Vispi

Play Life Podcast Episode 028 with DJ NYK and Steve Aoki Gur Nalo Ishq Mitha (Remix) - DJ Mercy Smash it Up 2 DJ Shilpi Sharma Make It To Heaven Remix DJ Amour

Sadi Gali (Remix) DJ NYK Mashup - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Machayenge (Remix) - Emiway Bantai - DJ Dharak - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Prada (Jass Manak) Dj Pearl Remix - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Machayenge (Emiway Bantai) Dj Shouki Mr. Swap Bootleg - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Dj Chetas-Coka (Remix Life Is A Mashup VOL 2

Baaki Sab First Claas Hai ( Kalank - Dj Piyu Dhamaal Mix

Coca Cola (Remix) - Luka Chuppi - DJ Bose

Machayenge (Emiway Bantai) Dj Shouki Mr. Swap Bootleg - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Dj Chetas-Coka (Remix Life Is A Mashup VOL 2

Baaki Sab First Claas Hai ( Kalank - Dj Piyu Dhamaal Mix

Coca Cola (Remix) - Luka Chuppi - DJ Bose

Hawayein (Remix) - M-ROX

Coka (Remix) - DJ Avi #Ghy

ClubMirchi (EP 30-03-19) with DJ Richard & Mirchi Ayantika

Holi Khele Raghuveera ( Bouncy Mix) Dj Piyu - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Holi Khele Raghuveera ( Bouncy Mix) Dj Piyu - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Go Pagal (Holi Mix ) DJ ABHI REMIX - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Tum Saath Ho (Remix) DJ Farrukh Squashup - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Daryaa (Manmarziyaan) DJ NYK Remix - MUSIC 100 LIFE

APNA TIME AYENGA (REMIX) DJ UJJWAL - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Aankh Marey (Remix) - Rigisk (Ashik Sarkar) - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Naukar (Remix) - Sharry Maan - DJ Smita GC - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Bewafa (Moombahton Mix) Dj Piyu - MUSIC 100 LIFE

SAATON JANAM (REMIX) - DJ AJ (DUBAI) & PATELBROSS - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Punjabi Swag Vol.5 - DJ Ashmac - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Leja Re (Dhvani Bhanushali) DJ Vispi (Leja Re (Dhvani Bhanushali) DJ Vispi)

Alia Bhatt Mashup Dj Dalal London VFX Babalu Xoxx Alia Bhatt (Alia Bhatt Mashup Dj Dalal London VFX Babalu Xoxx Alia Bhatt)

Machayenge (Dance Mix) - Emiway - DJ V Sky (Machayenge (Dance Mix) - Emiway - DJ V Sky)

DJ MUDIT GULATI - DESI BASS - VOL4 (DJ MUDIT GULATI - DESI BASS - VOL4)

DJ Shilpi Sharma - Chunari Mashup (DJ Shilpi Sharma - Chunari Mashup)

Coka (Remix) - Deejay Vishal (Coka (Remix) - Deejay Vishal)

Apna Time Aayega (Remix) - DJ Abhishek Phadtare - MUSIC 100 LIFE

CLUB MIRCHI 09-03-2019 WITH DJ Richard and Mirchi Deep - MUSIC 100 LIFE

UNITY 006 - DJ A.SEN - MUSIC 100 LIFE

DIL LE GAYEE KUDI (DESI BOUNCE REMIX) - DJ ABHISHEK - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Emiway Bantai - Machayenge (Remix) DJ ARV (Mumbai) - MUSIC 100 LIFE

DJ Chetas - Tera Ghata Vs Attention (Remix) LifeIsAMashupVOL2 - MUSIC 100 LIFE

KHELEGI KYA (REMIX) - GAJENDRA VERMA - RIGISK - MUSIC 100 LIFE

PHOTO (REMIX) - LUKKA CHUPPI - DJ RAWKING - MUSIC 100 LIFE

JAI JAI SHIV SHANKKAR (PRIVATE EDIT) DJ KAASH - MUSIC 100 LIFE

CHAMMA CHAMMA (REMIX) - DJ VISHAL - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Tere Te (Moombahcore Remix) - VDJ DANNY X Dj Neil Cruise - MUSIC 100 LIFE

THE SHADOW EXPERIENCE 13 - DJ SHADOW DUBAI - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Pal (Jalebi) - DJ NYK & Aroone ft. Sahil Khan - MUSIC 100 LIFE

GIRLS LIKE YOU (REMIX) - HI7Z - MUSIC 100 LIFE

MUNGDA (REMIX) - TOTAL DHAMAAL - DJ VISPI - MUSIC 100 LIFE

TUJHE BHULA DIYA (REMIX) - BOSKY - MUSIC 100 LIFE

O SANAM (REMIX) - LUCKY ALI - DJ JASMEET - MUSIC 100 LIFE

After Breakup Mashup - DJ Utkarsh x DJ Avi - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Kya Baat Ay (Club Remix) DJ Ravz - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Sakhiyaan X Middle (Mashup) DJ Prudhvi - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Jalwa Remix Deejay K - MUSIC 100 LIFE

Kamariya Remix DJ Sway - MUSIC 100 LIFE

EK RAAT (REMIX) - VILEN - DJ GODDESS X SPEEDY SINGH - MUSIC 100 LIFE

TENNU LE KE JANA (REMIX) - MUSIC 100 LIFE

PUTT JATT DA (REMIX) - DILJIT DOSANJH - DJ MISSY K - MUSIC 100 LIFE

SAJNA VE SAJNA (REMIX) - DJ SPINMASTER KAZ X DJ ANKIT ROHIDA - MUSIC 100 LIFE

MUSIC 1000 LIFE - INDIA'S NO 1 BOLLYWOOD REMIX SONGS PORTAL

[idhyukjae]

honey.

ft. @idyulhee; in chile, lonely hearts & two spoonfuls of sugar.

today is better than yesterday, or so he tells himself constantly. the last few days have been a blur in many different kind of senses not even hyukjae’s mind can comprehend. he’s on the verge of exhaustion and they just arrived to chile, so that’s already pretty fucked up. but today seems to be a pretty good morning after a long and tiring flight he couldn’t even enjoy because a kid kept kicking his seat. he had the kbs show to look forward to, the titanium performance and of course, his special stage with aroon. 

ah, his best friend. 

he really didn’t even want to think too much about him, nor them; which is why he decided to sneak out of their shared hotel room, just go down to the restaurant and have breakfast by himself. it actually sounded like a pretty relaxing idea, it would allow him to remain calm, hopefully not overthink and just... be at peace with himself, for once. but those plans come crashing down when he spots no other but ji yulhee closing her hotel room behind her. 

there’s a small, sweet and quite cute story behind them. they debuted on the same year and the moment hyukjae laid his eyes on her; he was hooked.. and he was also too embarrassed to speak up about it. in a few words, he could only describe her as his ideal type. not only was she beautiful, but he loved watching her perform because she possessed such strength and such presence, he couldn’t even help but crush hard on her.

eventually life’s casualties brought them together, hyukjae gathered enough courage (despite, of course, the limitations of their respective companies when it comes down to dating and yet, still asked her out). things, however, didn’t really go too well. she’s a fantastic person, he thought and still absolutely believes, but they are too different, their personalities completely opposite to one another and yet, there’s still a connection that evolves from an innocent crush into something more platonic, into a friendship he wouldn’t dare trade for anything else in the world.

“ah, noona.” his steps get a little bit quicker as he catches up to her, a smile, although exhausted, still spreads on his face. “good morning, where are you going?” he’s too nonchalant, but also maybe too inquisitive, so he lets out a soft chuckle, “sorry, i’m just wondering because i’m about to go get breakfast.” so he pauses for two seconds, “and i was wondering, if you’re hungry, would like to have breakfast with me?”.

[idhyukjae]

bruised lips.

ft. @idaroon; realization, change & a broken phone @ titanium’s dorm.

“listen to me, please listen to me. do you think i want to lose you too? do you think my heart would be able to take it? the pain? the feeling of knowing i have lost all of my children? i would never be able to deal with that hyukjae, i would never be able to live knowing that i lost the one son i’ve protected and sheltered with everything within me. please, please, please... i... i know i can’t be there but please i’m begging you to eat, to take your vitamins, to live your life normally. i don’t know what’s happening to you and what’s making you feel like this but jesus christ hyukjae, i’m your mother! you can call me and talk to me whenever you need someone! you have your friends, you have aroon.”

he flinches.

“you have your best friend there and i know you can trust him with your pain and whatever is making you feel like this. please, please i am begging you to talk this out with someone, if you don’t trust me then please... talk to someone about your problems hyukjae, talk, talk! i can’t stand knowing you’re in pain, i can’t stand knowing you’re hurt and i can’t stand knowing you’re not living peacefully.”

his head hangs low, phone pressed against his ear, he mutters, “yes mother. i will eat better and rest better now. i have to go now.”

“hyukjae?” she calls for him again, making sure he’s not ending the call without saying something important, “i love you, baby. more than anything in the world. more than you can imagine. i know that you and i have been inseparable since you’ve been a baby and my heart aches so much.. knowing i can’t be there to hold your hand and tell you that whatever is hurting you... it will be okay. it will always be okay, i promised you that when we were getting ready to leave america, remember? that no matter what we would always stick together, that i would never let anything hurt you and i’m so sorry to know you’re in pain, i’m so sorry i broke that promise.”

“no, no... mom, you didn’t break a promise. i am fine, i’m just tired, i promise. i am fine. i’m always fine, i’m just really exhausted.” he’s practically begging, begging for her to believe him.

“that is not what i was told, i...”

“it doesn’t matter what you were told, mom. they lied to you because i am okay. i am fine. i’m just tired and you shouldn’t worry about me like this, it won’t do you any good. look at the distance between us, if you get sick for worrying, then i will truly be sick and we won’t be able to take care of each other. so please, don’t worry about me, the guys always take care of me, i promise.” 

bae jiohami remains silent for several seconds and hyukjae knows it’s because she’s trying to analyze his words. the faint tone of his voice specifically. eventually, she lies to him when she says, “okay. okay. if you say that i will believe it.” but she doesn’t and hyukjae can hear the quiet sobs on the other end of the line. he can feel his own chest in pain at the single thought of his crying mother. last time she cried thanks to pain was when his father dragged him and...

he closes his eyes. he doesn’t want to remember.

he doesn’t want to remember.

“i will talk to you soon, okay?” he manages to say. 

“yes, that’s fine. i love you, hyukjae.”

“i love you too, mom.” and he ends the call. 

someone. someone called her and he knows exactly who. he knows who picked up the phone and informed his mother that lately he wasn’t eating, he wasn’t taking vitamins, he wasn’t sleeping, he wasn’t doing anything but walk around the dorm like a zombie. it surely wasn’t milo, nor dax, nor jeno. he knew exactly who it was and hyukjae’s blood was boiling at this point. 

he drags his feet back across the tiled room, presses his knees against his chest, wraps his arms around his legs. it was aroon. he was the one who called her, he was the one who informed her that he was living life like a zombie ever since they came back from chile. he was the one who snitched and told her, he was the one who broke his mother’s heart with that. and hyukjae, the one to always hide things, the one to keep his feelings to himself... now had to deal with the idea of his mother being aware of his pain. of his sadness.

ironic. the one guy who caused all of it was also the one guy who was calling his mother to let her know he wasn’t acting like himself. the one guy who had done nothing but torment his thoughts, but seep his way into his heart so deeply that bae hyukjae had no other choice but to accept the one thing he had been denying to himself: that he was in love. that maybe he was in love. that maybe his feelings had shifted at some point and he loved aroon, not like a friend, but like a man. and he wants to tell him.

no.

he wanted to tell him. he knew he went out with someone, he knew the movie they went out to see and yet, hyukjae swallowed the pain. too excited to do anything else but wait for him, to talk it out, to be honest about how he feels even if aroon explicitly told him that he hates him. but at least he could still tell him, right? let it out even if he sensed he would laugh at his face, make fun of him. hyukjae was such a little thing compared to aroon that he knew he was in for one hellish kind of humiliation.

but not anymore. now there’s nothing but anger in his heart.

he hurt him, pushed him away, treated him like shit, told him he hates him and despite all of that hyukjae was willing to confess, it was fine. until he called his mother, until he messed with his mother’s feelings. now? not anymore. 

and he hears him, hears the click of the front door, hears his feet taking him to their shared room and this is when hyukjae decides to confront him. to call him out for it. so he manages to stand up, wobbly legs and everything, silently leaves the bathroom and follows aroon into their room. it’s almost as if time decides to stop. right there and then.

hyukjae looks at him for what felt like an eternity, but it was probably a second or so. he tries to be rational, he tries to keep quiet, he tries to be the hyukjae everyone knows, but he’s not. not anymore. he’s broken, desperate and in pain. this is not him anymore, at all. 

“idiot!” he calls him, something he’s never done before, something he never imagined himself doing outside of a joke. his arm raises and swings hard, throwing his phone across the room, almost even crashing against aroon’s head if it wasn’t because hyukjae definitely aimed at the wall. the phone hits it and it bursts into pieces, shattered, broken pieces just like himself. “fuck you! why did you call my mother?! you...” he pauses, his voice loud, clear and without a stutter, he’s speaking in english after all, “...you idiot!” he repeats, keeps his distance, “she just called me and she was crying and it’s all your fucking fault!”

[niekwrites]

Suraj swallowed and their eyes widened just a little bit, just enough to suggest that the comment to them by surprise, but while they wanted to give in to the awkward feeling that settled in their stomach and the blush on their cheeks, they instead - almost forcefully - told their brain that Aroon was asking them for help! They offered a smile. "Yes, of course," they said, trying to sound far more confident than they felt. "I'll help you get home, after all, you've brought me home countless of times." It felt like a great safe. "Oh okay good, alright, we can go after food." They blushed further at the mention of a 'cute' spot, so decided to focus on the dim sum part of the conversation. "I don't know if I've ever had Dim Sum," they admitted. "But I'd love to try it." And they felt like liking it for exactly that reason.

while  aroon  couldn't  wait  for  his  vehicle  to  be  back  in  service  ,  taking  public  transport  gave  him  a  newfound  appreciation  for  others  ,  like  suraj  who  relied  on  the  broken  ,  unreliable  service  .  "  i  truly  believe  i  don't  have  to  practice  much  more  ,  but  at  least  for  the  way  home  ,  maybe  i'll  have  your  expertise  .  "  the  words  don't  leave  his  lips  with  intent  ,  but  the  moment  they're  breathed  into  the  air  ,  they  seem  to  sound  a  little  flirtatious  ,  don't  they  ??  instead  of  lingering  on  it  or  trying  to  trip  over  his  words  ,  reassuring  suraj  that  that  wasn't  actually  intended  to  be  an  invite  home  ,  aroon  moves  quickly  to  their  next  topic  .  "  i've  not  been  to  any  bookstores  around  here  ,  actually  but  that  sounds  so  lovely  .  full  of  hidden  gems  ,  i  bet  ,  huh  ??  "  he  bounces  to  the  heels  of  his  sneakers  ,  squinting  eyes  to  catch  the  name  of  the  nearest  street  sign  .  "  do  you  like  dim  sum  ??  i  think  two  or  three  streets  over  there's  a  cute  spot  we  could  get  some  .  "

[idhyukjae]

riptide.

ft. @idxchanyeol; after show, random hotel hallway.

tonight hyukjae is going to make a mistake. one he could easily avoid if he stays put, in his hotel bed, either playing some games, watching tv or drawing. really, there’s many options: but no. he’s not going to take any of those options because he’s going to go out there, shake away the bad feelings and go find his best friend. he can only imagine aroon is somewhere talking to friends or what have you and that’s cool, hyuk wants to be a part of that, or even better, he wants to talk to him, fix things, apologize for how he’s been acting lately and make things better.

solid plan? solid plan. so he goes around the hotel like a lost puppy. he thinks about texting aroon to know where he is, but he doesn’t. maybe their friendship inkling will lead him to wherever he is (note: ‘friendship inkling’ doesn’t exist, it’s just a silly thing he came up with when they were trainees. another note: hyuk was good at finding aroon wherever he was.) so he goes up and down, to no avail. eventually he thinks of the rooftop, so he goes, and he finds him and he regrets it right away.

he sees him, but he’s not alone, in fact, he seems to be enjoying himself perfectly fine as he kisses... someone. he can’t see the face of the other guy, and he can’t because hyukjae swallows his cheerful ‘hey hyung!’ and instead makes an u-turn and gets back on the elevator. he doesn’t even know what number his room is anymore. he doesn’t even know anything because his mind is completely blank. the image of his best friend kissing someone... that isn’t him is making him feel both angry and also anxious in a bad way. 

“of course he’s making out with some guy instead of..” spending time with him? how pathetic, why would he? it’s not like they haven’t spent the past ten years attached to the hip. why would aroon ruin his chile vacay by just hanging out with him? stupid. 

the elevator dings and hyukjae isn’t even looking, doesn’t even know where the heck is he even going. to his room? outside? to the bar? to the lobby? to the pool? who knows. he’s angry and sad. way too sad. but it’s also stupid. why is he even angry? and sad? is he... jealous?

no, no, of course he’s not jealous. that’s impossible.

he has no time to think anymore because his body bumps against someone else’s and he’s ready to apologize a thousand times, already bowing once, twice, and there’s about to be a third time until he sees it’s chanyeol. at least a familiar face, one he’s actually happy to see and ironically, the face that started it all. if only hyukjae had kept his mouth shut about aroon sleeping with chanyeol, then maybe they wouldn’t be dealing with so many problems right now. 

they? no. him. hyukjae was the only one dealing with the problems, he was sure of it.

“ah, hyung. i’m sorry.” he apologizes again, brings one hand up and brushes it down his face, almost as if trying to delete the anguish written all over it. “i didn’t see you, i have so much shit in my head i... wasn’t even looking. i’m sorry.” fourth apology. so he takes a deep breath, knows he’s talking too fast, and probably too much. “i didn’t know you guys were staying in this hotel? could’ve sworn you all went to a different one. but maybe i’m just confused, today has been horrible so i just have no idea what’s going on anymore.”

[idhyukjae]

know us.

ft. @idaroon; waiting room, backstage at kbs showtime showcase.

hyukjae pinches the bridge of his nose. takes a deep breath. inhales, exhales. takes a deep breath, keeps it in, releases it. sings quietly. whistles a little. 

it doesn’t work, the butterflies in his stomach are still there. 

he’s nervous and quite possibly more nervous than he has been before. he knows he shouldn’t be and he knows he won’t be when the time to perform with titanium comes around. but he’s nervous about performing with aroon, just them, no one else. the thing is; he holds aroon in such high standards, he’s just afraid to fuck up. he knows he’s never fucked up on stage with his group mates, but he knows more eyes will be on him this time around. watching, either in awe or hoping he slips and fucks up; a lot of people take plenty of enjoyment when someone they hate goes through that.

he doesn’t want to let anyone down, especially because he’s technically filling in for san. ‘the’ ryu san. that alone makes his nerves come back, wrap around him like some kind of spiderweb. but he tells himself he can do it, he tells himself he can’t fuck up because this is for his best friend, for the one person he’d do anything, no matter what. 

so he approaches him from behind, placing his hands on his best friend’s shoulders, “isn’t it kind of... crazy? our first performance together.” he pauses, then says the next words in english, “dream team.” and he lets out a small laugh, dropping his hands to his sides.

so many things happened between them these past few weeks, it’s almost impossible to ignore them. it was true that their friendship had gone through a rough patch, which was so unlike them. quite the contrary, hyukjae and aroon were the ones who always got along, the ones who joked around the whole time, the ones who always loved each other unconditionally, the ones always comfortable enough to hug each other, touch each other in public, the ones who had zero issues in showing people how much they loved each other, how much they meant to each other. but things changed. 

maybe hyukjae changed. he put his nose where he shouldn’t (where he thought he could) but turns out he couldn’t, shouldn’t. so then he takes aroon’s words to heart and keeps all of that in mind. now he’s changed. not attitude wise, because he’s still very much the same; but now there’s a wall. now he keeps his distance, still hugs and still approaches aroon when he feels like it, but it’s not like before. now he doesn’t sit next to him the whole time, now he doesn’t beg him to come watch anime with him, now he doesn’t even bother waking him up in the middle of the night to feed hungry kittens. no, now it’s different. 

he hates it, though. hyukjae hates the distance, but he believes this is what they need. that this is what he needs; to detach himself. they can’t be together forever, no matter how accustomed he is to him, no matter how close, eventually they’ll have to move on. and it breaks hyukjae’s heart.

but it’s for the best, right? 

“are you... excited? nervous?” he asks, a part of him hoping he’s not the only person who’s extremely nervous right now. “or are you... scared i’ll overshadow you because i’m just that good looking tonight?” this one is a joke and he lets him know when hyukjae cracks a chuckle.

[idhyukjae]

teach you.

ft. @idaroon at midas dance studio; detail your character training/practicing (+5/+5 dance)

He got there early, which actually, was kind of a first. It’s not like Hyukjae was far from punctual, he was just really bad at managing time sometimes, which yes, he knew it probably wasn’t too professional, but truthfully, what can you do when you want to do many things on the same day? He couldn’t help it, it was kind of a habit at this point... and the good thing about it was that Aroon knew. Of course he did.

Dropping his bag next to the nearest wall, Hyukjae pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened his text conversation with his best friend. To pull a small joke on him (if you could even call it a joke), he texted him expressing how disappointed he was on him for “being late”, especially when he had been there waiting for him “at the time we agreed on”. He knew it was okay to joke with it because they never held anything against each other, at least not seriously. 

He’d never dare hold anything against him, anyway. Even if something bad ever happened between them, Hyukjae knew he’d never have the strength to fight him, no, not Aroon. He was bad at conflict and generally terrible at confronting issues, but with his best friend? It only got worse. It was physically impossible to be mad at him, even if he tried. They had been friends since the very first day he was signed as a trainee and since then, they had been inseparable.

Walking over to the sound system, he plugged his phone to the console and took his time choosing the song he wanted to dance to as a warm up. Once he made up his mind and the song started to play, he walked over to the center of the studio. With one swift movement, he turned back his hat so it wouldn’t block his view, if at all. To the rhythm of the music, he moved. Some steps were firm, some steps were a bit lazier than the others, some even looked sloppy. Hyukjae had always been good at learning whatever choreography they wanted him to learn; but when it came down to freestyle? He felt like he was terrible at it, or at least, that was his perception.

He was so focused on his moves that he didn’t even notice the moment someone opened the door, nor the moment when that someone just stood there, that is, of course, until he turned around and looked up, his body suddenly coming to a stop, almost as if he was a child who just stole a cookie and got caught. His eyes connected with Aroon’s, and his right hand came up to press itself against chest, “Ah~hyung!” he expressed, almost breathless and now completely startled. “How long have you been standing there?” his question was then followed by a sheepish chuckle, “You scared me.”