#front yard parking
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This is an illustration of a small concrete paver driveway with modern shade. An example of a small modern shade front yard concrete paver driveway.
#modern#front yard parking#beech trees#contemporary modern#parking pad#front yard parking pad#ornamental grasses
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Front Yard - Modern Landscape Image of a small, contemporary driveway with concrete pavers in the front yard.
#walkway#front yard parking#contemporary modern#concrete pavers#landscaping#ornamental grasses#horizontal board screens
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Eclectic Landscape (Toronto)
#An example of an eclectic partial sun front yard concrete paver driveway. driveway#landscaping#front yard parking#eclectic modern
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they went on a park date :)
#by park i mean. my front yard. but shh#irl#transformers toys#transformers#megop#blokees#macaddam#macaddams
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Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.
I don't have external meltdowns.
I could. I don't let it happen.
I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.
So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.
She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.
Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].
It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.
They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.
I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.
I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.
I couldn't understand what made her like this.
But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.
If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.
And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*
And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?
My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.
Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???
And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.
I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*
She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.
I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.
So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.
But I told her hundreds of times.
I probably should have just screamed at her.
#good stay out of our yard' and he didn't seem to know what to say to that#but other than that I don't think anyone in my adult life has ever seen me turn aggressive at all to the point where people 100% like to#play games of testing my patience and my boundaries because they think my tolerance is infinite#but like I have autistic rage tantrums on both sides of my family and they are just happening inside my head#And somehow it took me until now to realize that being that way was actually -expected- of me by my parents and especially my mother#and that by keeping myself outwardly level headed to be considerate I actually took away whatever signals she can understand#to have empathy for how I must be feeling#I mean it's still all on her#but it makes so much sense of why she's fucking *like this*#And why my sister thinks I hate her just because -she- stopped texting -me-#but that fucking guy#Every time I was like#In my adult life I have screamed at someone ONE whole time and it was 1000% deserved#And I threw heavy objects around one whole other time and in my defense I didn't do it in front of the guy he just felt the ground shaking#heard the thuds and came back to the logs blocking his path because that fucker wouldn't stop parking in our yard after being asked#and then TOLD not to about 10 times because he was acting entitled to just park in our yard and was crushing my plants???#seriously I don't know what his deal was but he wouldn't stop telling me how much the ground shaking scared him like it was supposed#to get my pity like I think this guy took one look at the logs I had just tossed down and was suddenly afraid of this “woman” he was#bullying in their own yard and so my ability to feel bad for scaring him had gone straight out the fucking window#I looked at him and said stop parking in our yard instead of your own you are killing my plants#he'd just fucking be like 'well the last people to live here let us D: :)“ and I'd be like ”good for them?“ ”stop“#and he'd just keep doing it#I was having a week of insomnia and was finally having the best dream#the kind of sex dream you have like twice in your life#and this fucker had just gotten some noisy ass little bike with a spoiler on it#and starts it up right under my window at 3am from IN OUR FUCKING YARD#so I had a nice long anger nap and just after he got home from work and was sleeping in his house#I picked up these chunks of deadwood tree from the back#there was like 3-4 logs that used to be a WHOLEASS fucking oak tree Like these logs were not as heavy as they -looked- but they were still#this fucker deleted half the tags I wrote and I am not retyping that fuck you tumblr so fucking hard
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look at this baby bird i saw at my grandpas
#thinking it maybe a baby superb fairy wren cuz i saw some around#it was SO small#saw so many cool birds i kinda want to live out in the bush as well#but all the bugs r like 10x the size and freak me out#the flies r so huge that when we were driving through a national park they made a banging noise when they hit the car#and my grandpa has some paper wasps building a hive right in front of the back door#and got bit by like 100 mosquitoes#did also see skinks out in the front yard#it was also like 35 degrees celsius i wanted to die
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I’m so proud and happy with how my garden is looking right now. The rest of the backyard is still kind of a mess, but as long as you don’t look at the wall of the house I think it’s so pretty lol. I just stood out there for a long time as it was getting dark and listened to all the crickets and the frogs. There’ve been mockingbirds digging grubs out of the raised bed (thank you) and we’ve seen the snake (snakes?) twice. I love the stupidly-huge firebush that is almost as tall as the mango tree. I love the big okra leaves. If you stand on the patio and look west the sunset-colors sky is framed by the house and the firebush. So happy so happy so happy. Life is good sometimes.
#next project is to get the front yard looking this good#if I could ban cars from parking anywhere but the driveway I would. so I could have more room for plants#mom and my sister keep saying we need to prune back the firebush but I will resist for as long as possible#I know it will be fine but I love how stupid huge and full it is right now#vanessarambles
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Summit Ave
St Paul, MN
#beautiful#photography#me#aesthetic#nature#cute#love#flowers#home#welcome home#home decor#home design#home & lifestyle#decor#decoration#interior design#kitchen#yard#front yard#fence#balcony#porch#park#bench
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Decided to practice a simpler comic style with something that happened last week
Remember: don't mess with snakes if you don't know what kind they are, and even then you should only interact with them if you have experience and are unable to get professional assistance!
#my art#original comic#i do actually have experience catching snakes because this exact thing has happened a dozen times#it's just that I usually don't have to do it alone#venomous snakes should always be left alone unless your stupid cat has brought small ones into the house and you have to catch them#because he put them in front of your bedroom door#sometimes I forget other people don't live near national park and constantly dealing with local wildlife is not standard#anyway: keep your cats indoors bc all this shit has happened within a fenced in 10 square meter ish yard so they would absolutely devastate#the local wildlife population if they weren't kept in a restricted area
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#I know which window held the sunflowers I wrote poems about#I know what your blundstones looked like kicked off on this patio#I know what this yard looked like when it was still a yard and not a driveway#covered in horrible fake grass where I learned how to play cricket#and felt so alive as I hit it out of the park#I know what this front porch looked like when it was filled with plants and a giant mirror and life and you wrapped me up in a huge blanket#and made me raisin toast#I know the layout of the inside#I know where the toaster oven is kept in the kitchen and I know the stove is too small to make industrial quantities of jam#I know which brick has the spare key and I know what it felt like in my jet lagged hands as I picked it up and went inside to wait for you#I know what this yard felt like when we cut up strawberries at a trashy little folding table in the sunlight#the scenes all play out before my eyes#I know it all because it lived in my dreams for so long#the way I’d come back and I’d knock on your door and you’d have me#it was all I dreamed about and the thing I wrote poems about as I felt it slipping out of my fingers as we forgot each other#and now I sit here and everything has changed#it’s quite beautiful how much sadder it looks now thanks to the gift of time and new tenants and the loss of a lot of spellbound magic#but the way the universe changed me inside that house#will be there forever
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Shout out to the neighbors who are notorious in the neighborhood for having the only dog that barks loudly and constantly, who thought it would be fun today to let their stupid loud ass dog out at 5 am for some reason. You'll never imagine what happened next!
#you would think they figure out a solution to having the only dog in the neighborhood that is going off constantly#like. perhaps. if you observe that your animal is going off every time someone walks by (which is near constantly when the weather is nice#since we live so close to the park) maybe you could. idk. put him in the back yard instead of the front?#maybe try pet training/obedience classes? maybe even explore humane muzzlong options or something? like its clear your dog has a problem an#its not being solved by you leaving him out for hours at a time and running outside if he starts to bark for more than 30 seconds to yell#JOJO SHUT UPPPPPP at him. which doesnt work and now youre adding more noise to the situation and its so early. you fucking dunce.#i hope you know the whole neighborhood hates you!!!!!#my neighborhood would be so quiet and peaceful if not for this fucking dog. i dont understand how you can juat allow the dog to do that all#the time. surely youre aware of it????#fuck you jojo and fuck your humans too. lmao
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I recently swapped the treadmill for Actually Going Outdoors and I'm sorry to say that everyone has been right all these years and fresh air actually does make a difference. how disappointing.
#¶#I discovered a great walking path literally in my front yard#it leads to a huge several hundred acre park thru little ponds and a field and a couple of bridges#there were 2 herons there the other day!#anyway just walking there and back is a mile and a half and it's BEAUTIFUL and I'm mad I've been using the treadmill at all lmao
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The cultural difference between America and Britain is that suburban Americans do shit in their front garden and suburban Brits do shit in the back garden thank you for coming to my ted talk
#every time i see an American™#and theyre like... having a beer party grill cookoff in the FRONT YARD!?!?!#id die. that would kill me. i could not. like physcially heart attack no#the guy on instagram doing all fours running training videos#ALL IN HIS FRONT YARD#like hes all 4 asylum sprinting past parked cars#i cannot FATHOM
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Ah yes emailing the HOA to ask them, "Why can't I park my own goddamn car in front of my own goddamn house when parking in the driveway would block not only my husband's way but also the neighbor's, who I share a driveway with but who also just had a newborn and needs access to both cars at any given time?"
#POAs and HOAs get fucked honestly#The fact that they can threaten to tow my car for PARKING IN FRONT OF MY OWN HOUSE#I'm not even blocking anything!!! It's just my goddamn front yard!!!#There's room in our driveway for three cars total without blocking almost every car in#If I parked in the driveway I would prevent J and both of my neighbors from getting out#It's literally impossible to fit my SUV in a spot that miiiiight fit one of those little electric two seater cars#Fucking assholes
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Happy 2023 have OCs from a plot that is older than a decade. None of these are the main characters lmao.
Ladd Moore (the main focus here) is an ass. Like just that’s his main trait. He’s outgoing and rude and a bit dense but incredibly good with technology. He’s in the field department of the Supernatural Bureau of Investigation (SBI) and sometimes when at HQ, research grabs hold of him to help with some tech. Only thing is, that’s between research leads and him. No one else in fieldwork thinks Ladd should touch a computer and most research staff think he’s annoying and stupid. So when he volunteers to fix something no one thinks he’s serious and they call research up and they go down and see Ladd watching them and just have to say “you didn’t want to help out the field division?” And he’s like “they told me no”.
His older sister, Lass, is also in the field department’s staff. Madison (Mads) is in research.
The siblings actually have a pretty traumatic childhood which is why Ladd follows his sister to this career. She thinks he’s being annoying but he wants to protect her since he blames himself for ruining her childhood… while she’s scared that it’s her fault for ruining his. So they don’t have the most peaceful relationship and it’s tense between them at times.
#supernatural bureau of investigation#Ladd and Lass honestly give me so many emotions ok#basically as kids he gets abducted by a siren for a week while they’re playing in a park#and she doesn’t see him vanish he’s just gone#and she blames herself and he shows up passed out in the front yard#after a whole week and has no memory of his abduction#and Lass just is so scared to be around him cause what if he goes away again and it’s her fault again#and he has no idea why she’s so distant and then she’s in therapy for a year#and then years into the job there’s a series of abductions that Ladd is drawn to#and when he arrives at where he suspects is related …#he hears the same song he forgot from his childhood and he suddenly remembers that week#and so he pushes on and confronts the siren while no one else on the team#can hear the voice serenading him#and he normally doesn’t like to kill supernatural beings but man#he makes an exception for the siren that broke his sister all those years ago#and he goes back to work and smiles at his sister but doesn’t say a word about it
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im eating raw sweet corn on my aunt's patio at 11pm in pajamas and having a GREAT time
#its 60°f outside at the moment and there's a breeze and everything feels calm#it's so.... quiet#like insanely quiet#there's crickets and i can hear a distant motorcycle but outside of that it's silent#ive grown to enjoy the bustle of my neighborhood at night but this is nice too#im used to ambulance sirens from the hospital a few blocks down and cars driving down the road at 3am and crickets + cicadas going crazy -#- until like 2am and owls calling from the trees in our front yard and party goers trudging home from the park down the road#but here there's just crickets and the occasional car and the sounds of family from inside the house#it's not what im used to and i do miss the ambience but. i like this
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