#from the wedding we went to a couple months ago....... im gonna cry

[possum-tooth]

WAHHHHHHH NEW PICS OF MY BF AND I 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[bitchinbarzal]

It’s me.

I’m begging for a pt 2 for the nate fic you posted pls 🫶🏻🤍

I don’t have like a full fic in me so I’m hoping this will suffice!

part one

-

“I’m literally begging you not to embarrass me” Nate grumbled, fixing Michael’s tie.

“Dude, not gonna happen” Miles deadpans from the other side of the room “Mikey was like born to embarrass you”

Nate only groaned, taking Finn from Miles’ arms.

“Tell him Finny, tell uncle Mikey no embarrassing daddy”

Finn’s head just quirked to the side, no understanding whatsoever.

Mikey walked over, tickling Finn’s belly “Tell daddy, he embarrasses himself enough!”

Nate scowled at his best friend

“Okay let’s get this party started! There’s a pretty bride waiting for you!” Nico announced, barging into the room.

The day had gone by without a hitch, Finn hadn’t even cried. Done nothing but smile and clap in Madison’s lap all morning.

Come the reception, he was situated right in your arms taking a very well deserved nap.

When it came time for speeches, your parents along with Nathan’s made theirs all very basic “welcome to the family” style.

When it came Mikey’s turn he grabbed the mic

“First off, I wanna thank you all for coming tonight to celebrate the newly weds I know they’re extremely thankful for your presence with us!”

He bounced off one leg to another

“I know that at weddings we tend to talk about the good stuff, the love stuff but I want to talk about Nate and y/n’s break up”

Your eyes darted over to Nate who had an equally worried look on his face.

“Just a couple years ago, y/n and Nate broke up and it was… bad” he started, pulling a face to exaggerate his point.

“Nate cried…. A lot” you laughed at that.

Mikey chuckled too before continuing “and it was my wedding that brought them back together” he turned to you then added “You’re welcome”

“Thanks Bud!”

“When they were talking about getting back together, Nate came over to my place and said something to me that nobody knows until now” he paused for a moment

“Nate said to me the day after we arrived back in Jersey and they went to lunch and decided to work on their relationship ‘Man I’m so happy. I don’t know if I’ll ever be this happy again in my life, she’s mine and she wants me around even when I’ve done that to her she still wants to try again and I’m so happy this is my life, that she’s in my life - she makes me so happy’”

You looked at Nate, tears in your eyes and he just shrugged sheepishly.

“They got back together in October when the season started officially and you know very coincidentally popped out a baby about nine months after that day…. Weird” the crowd laughed and you smiled down at a sleeping Finn.

“I thought the day y/n took Nate back was the happiest he’d been until Finnley was born. Nate called me at like two or three in the morning to say they’d had a baby, he was here! but I picked up the phone to Nate crying and I’m immediately thinking the worst here… something has happened to the baby or y/n” your eyes were on Nate while Mikey spoke now.

“When he finally stopped crying he said to me ‘Mikey, man, y/n had our boy - I’m a dad. She’s made me a dad, man and I’m so in love with her, she’s amazing, I can’t believe she’s mine” Nate’s hand rubbed yours that was supporting Finn’s bottom, giving you a soft smile and you knew he was trying not to cry.

“Not every part of their story is really cute though! When they got engaged it was big woody’s birthday in jersey and Nate was really really drunk so he called y/n to pick him up. he was sick on her shoes outside the bar before he said “I love you so much my girl, please marry me and make me the happiest man-“ before he proceeded to throw up again on her. Your guess is as good as mine as to why she said yes when he asked again the following morning”

You sniggered and Nate hid his face, a blush settled across his cheeks

“What im trying to say is that, Nate and y/n are made for eachother and I couldn’t think of two more perfect people to be together in this life. Now everyone please raise a glass, to the Bastian’s!”

Later, when you were on the dance floor slow dancing with your husband your head lay on his shoulder and you said

“I’m really glad you held my hair back that night”

He chuckled and said “I’m so glad I’m insanely jealous and only came after you because I was scared you were hooking up with Ryan in the toilet”

Your head lifted and you gasped “Nathan Bastian!”

He laughed “What? You’re my wife now I’m allowed to be jealous”

“You’re lucky I love you!”

With a genuine smile he kissed you and said

“I’m so lucky to be loved by you, my angel”

[theautumnisnoble]

we'll learn to swim in the oceans you made

After listening to Shirtsleeves by Ed Sheeran this scenario immediately came into mind, also heavily inspired by Jenn Im's pregnancy youtube video titled, "We're Pregnant!"

[Also a very big thank you to A (@solhwippedsubs on twt and holdoutandwin on ao3) for beta-reading this. I love you my solhwi fluff confidant!]

Word Count: 2k words

"Wake up!" Sol removes the comforter that was covering his husband's body and started shaking him. "Han Joon Hwi, ireona!"

"Mmm, Sol-ah. Why?" Joon Hwi covered his eyes with his arm to shield them from the rays of sunlight and wondered why the love of his life was forcing him out of their bed so early in the morning.

"Ireona! Jebal.." Joon Hwi immediately shot up as Sol's voice started to crack and he examined her face. Sol teared up and Joon Hwi noticed she was holding something tightly, stick close to snapping into half.

"Babe, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Joon Hwi held both of her arms and looked up at her.

Sol had been so emotional these days, well, more than she usually is. Sol always has been a passionate ball of fury, but Joon Hwi especially had it rough this week. He doesn't find Sol annoying or tiring for any of that matter, but he would wonder why Sol would suddenly cry or get mad at him for absolutely no reason, and if there was, then he avoided asking it as when he did that one time, Sol only got more mad at him. There was also yesterday when Joon Hwi sprayed on himself the perfume that Sol gifted to him on their wedding anniversary last April and Sol suddenly pinched her nose close and walked outside of their bedroom. And now, Sol was in tears, sobbing, at 7 am in the morning.

"Babe.. I'm starting to worry. What's wrong?"

"I told you to be careful!!!" Sol lightly punched his shoulder and bawled.

Joon Hwi raised his arm and wiped her tears using the sleeves of his sweater, pulling on the cloth with his fingers. "What did I do wrong? Calm down for a sec and tell me.."

"Don't tell me to calm down!"

"O-okay." Joon Hwi surrendered for a while and let Sol release all of her emotions. Moments later, her sobs started to simmer down and Joon Hwi opened his arms wide. "C'mere."

Sol bended down and let Joon Hwi's arms circle around her. Her lower body slowly went closer to him and then she sat on his lap, her shoulder against his chest. Joon Hwi wiped down the dampness on her face and caressed her arm. "Now, babe, talk to me, okay? I'm never gonna know what I did wrong if you won't tell me."

Sol faced him and tried to form intelligent words. "Well, you—"

"Hmm?"

"I'm—" Her mouth started to form into a pout and tears started fall again from her eyes. "Joon Hwi-ah." She released sobs again and buried her face into his neck. Joon Hwi sighed and patted her arm.

"Babe—"

"I'm pregnant."

Joon Hwi paused his movements and pulled his head back away, lightly pushing Sol by her shoulders, to let Sol face him. Sol's eyes wandered down to her left hand and Joon Hwi followed them, then he grabbed the stick from her hand.

It was a pregnancy test. Two red-dyed lines. Positive.

Joon Hwi faced Sol, his lips starting to form into a smile. "Babe—"

"I told you to be careful!!" Sol again whimpered, tears still falling.

"W-what? Is it because I—"

"Nevermind!" Sol wiped her tears in a rash way and breathed out to calm herself down. "I-it's actually not your fault." Sol now realized the irrationality of her internal reasoning.

Joon Hwi held back a chuckle and tucked a hair behind his wife's ear.

"Remember April?"

"When we shared a sloppy kiss under the rain?" Joon Hwi tried to lighten the mood by reminding her how they had to walk all the way to the bus stop under the heavy pouring rain, just right after they had their wedding anniversary date at a fine dining restaurant four months ago. It was a funny, but sweet memory.

"No! Before that, when I got diagnosed with PCOS."

"Aah."

It left Sol and Joon Hwi almost hopeless for a child when she was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. But Sol, even before that, was convinced she didn't need to have kids and that she was satisfied with her life with Joon Hwi, content that they'd be that couple with no children. They were already busy with their very time-demanding jobs and Sol— she convinced herself she wouldn't be competent with the whole mothering a child thing. But after knowing her condition, the question, "should I?" turned to "could I?". The condition that would possibly rob her of the choice eventually made her think about how it wouldn't be so bad, because Joon Hwi was there. So after the news of her condition, she decided on one thing.

"A-after that I got off birth control." Joon Hwi nodded and listened to Sol, who was still tearing up a bit, and he also wiped down those tears when he could.

"Then yesterday, when I realized I wasn't on my period yet, I got to read my period calculator and saw that I- I was 16 days late." Sol exhaled for courage.

"Then I bought the pregnancy test." Sol paused and looked at Joon Hwi, and her face looked like she was about to burst again. Her lips were shaking and her eyes were still crystal with tears ready to fall. She was scared.

"You can take it slow, I'll be here. I won't stop listening." Sol released a small smile, tidied her face and tucked in her stray hairs, preparing to tell Joon Hwi more while also now trying to relax herself.

"I didn't know if I should take it though. I mean, everything would change if I was pregnant. But I did wanna know, I wanted to be certain. And it said that I should use my morning pee for it so I waited until morning."

"But you hardly even slept.." Joon Hwi recalls her wife tossing and turning beside him, and then ultimately giving up trying to sleep then went downstairs. He bets on Sol reading up on her cases, which works as an alternative sleeping pill for her.

Ever since she was diagnosed with PCOS, Sol really took effort into having a more healthy lifestyle— like exchanging coffee for matcha, this among other things, and also trying to get some more sleep. So Joon Hwi knew that Sol would definitely try to catch up on sleep.

"I did, a bit." She smiled. "So, after that I took it just earlier. A-and I tested positive." Sol's emotions now returned to her and she closed her eyes, her eyebrows furrowed and tears started to fall again.

"I'm scared." She looked at him. "I don't know if I'm gonna be a good mother. I feel like I should be happy or something, but I'm just really scared." Sol now covered her face with both palms and cried, Joon Hwi pulled her in to embrace her.

"Babe.." He patted her back.

"What if I try my best, and our kid still doesn't love me?" That was it. Sol released another wave of sobs and her body shook against Joon Hwi's embrace.

Sol thought she wasn't ready. Even if it was her choice to get off birth control, she didn't think she would immediately become pregnant. After all, her doctor said it was now almost impossible to be. In her mind, pregnancy would change everything— from how much devotion she has to her work to maybe how her and Joon Hwi's relationship would change, and maybe for the worst. And she didn't like change, her idealistic plans for her future would need to be altered, and she also didn't like how it would most likely change their marriage. She couldn't have that, she couldn't live with a ruined marriage because she didn't want anything to change between Joon Hwi and her, and she also couldn't live with her child possibly having to live through all that. And what if he gets tired of taking care of me? And tons of other doubts and insecurities showered her.

Why does my mind do this? Sol asked herself. Why can't I just be excited? Joon Hwi is the father of this child. I'm sure he's disappointed in me right now.

Joon Hwi pulled away after she calmed down. He wiped her face, again with his already damp shirtsleeves. He placed short kisses on her wet cheeks and cupped her face. "Sol, I believe in you."

Sol melted and her lips turned into a pout, her face still showing fear and uncertainty.

"I'm with you, whatever your decision is. I will be always there for you as I always have. If you arrive to whichever decision, I will give you my opinion but at the end I will always support you. If you don't want to have the baby, I'll still be here. If you want to try and see it through the end, I will be happy and help you every step of the way. I'm your husband Sol-ah. I know you don't trust yourself that much yet, but trust in me. "

Sol put her arms around him and hugged him tight. "I love you Sol. We'll take it slow, step by step. I know you're panicking right now, but there's no rush. We'll do it together. You're never gonna be alone. I'll be there every single step of the way. And I'm sure our kid will love you. You were an amazing older sister to Byeol and you still are, she adores you so I'm sure our kid will, too."

"I love you Joon Hwi. I love you so much. I love you."

"You love me that much?"

Sol pulled away, annoyed. Joon Hwi released a chuckle.

"I love you too."

"You sure I can do it?" Sol asked. "Being a mom? What if I'm going to be too busy for it?"

"We can always ask Byeol to babysit. Or your mom, she has said she already wants a grandchild."

"You always know the solution to things don't you?" Sol rolled her eyes.

"That's why I'm the perfect husband to the ever worrier Eomma Sol."

"Eomma Sol?" Sol raised her voice, taken aback by the sudden nickname.

"And I'm Appa Joon Hwi. " Then Sol bursted out, laughing. Her tears were now drying on her cheeks and she was more relaxed now.

"See? It's cute." I just wanted to see you smile. Joon Hwi thought.

Sol pulled him into a hug again. "You better not regret being a father to our child, Han Joon Hwi-ssi."

Joon Hwi let himself fall into bed, taking down Sol with her. They both laughed and Joon Hwi pulled her into a kiss, tasting the bitterness and sadness of her tears. They made out, feeling at home and Sol, feeling assured and loved by the person in front of her. Joon Hwi kissed her, tasting the ocean, drowning in the one she made.

"I will never regret it. I will fulfill all the promises I made on our wedding day, to be by your side, To support you, to be a loving husband, to be always there to annoy you—" Sol laughed, remembering his one-liner during their exchange of wedding vows. "To always wake and sleep beside you whenever I can, and to never leave your side." They both smiled at each other and Joon Hwi placed a kiss on her forehead. They pull each other close, feeling each other's warmth. And Sol is now close to slumber, fatigued after her nonstop crying.

"I'll be the happiest father to our child. Of course I will, you're the mother, after all."

[fiftyshadesgrl]

Part two of my brantley gilbert series! I hope everyone enjoys it.

I wake up to find myself tangled up around Brantley. Hes still asleep and its dark outside. I hear a humming sound then a bump. I realize the bus is moving. I jump up, "oh my god!"

Brantley sits up in a panic, "what is it baby?"

I pull the sheet up around me suddenly feeling vulnerable. "The bus is moving. I cant go anywhere! I have to go home."

He wraps me in his arms to comfort me. "Its okay baby girl. Why dont you just stay for the next couple of shows then if you still wanna go home, Ill make sure you get there."

"I have to work. I cant just give everything up to be a groupie."

"Hey." He said making me look at him. "You will never be a groupie. You are way better than that and you know it. Just give us some time, give me some time to show you that this time will be different."

I sigh, "what about my work?"

"Call them and tell them you need some time off."

I snicker, "the real world doesnt work like that. We cant all be Brantley Gilbert."

He lays back down and smiles, "Hell Ill call em myself." I laughed at that and can actually see him doing that. I shake my head and turn my phone on and find its only 2 in the morning. I quickly text my boss and tell him that Im taking my vacation early and Id be back in two weeks. I turn my phone back off and lay back down cuddling up to brantley.

He wraps his arms around me and kisses me. I moan and crawl on top of him. "Damn baby girl, youre gonna wear me out." He says smiling. I smiled back down at him, I cant believe I have him all to myself but the memory of three years ago comes flooding back to me.

3 years ago.....

I was out with mama becky trying to find the right dress that made me feel beautiful. I wanted to blow brantleys mind in a couple months when we say I do. Mama becky turns to me as we pull into the driveway, "hows he been lately?" I sigh and shake my head. "He has his good days and bad days."

His mama had tears in her eyes, "these days its more bad than good." I nodded but pasted a smile on my face.

"Dont worry mama, things will get better. Hopefully he will sober up by the wedding." I said hopeful but doubt still clung heavily in my mind and heart.

I hugged her and jumped out of the truck. "Ill come back this way in a couple of days to talk about the flowers and everything." Mama becky said and I nodded and waved as she pulled out of mine and brantleys driveway.

The house was unusually quiet, brantley usually had music blaring or playing his guitar chugging beer out on the front porch. I unlocked the door and walked in. "Brantley, Im back." Not one word, I walked towards the bedroom where the door was cracked open. I peeked through the crack and saw brantley laying on his stomach in bed sleeping.

I smiled at the sight of him, no matter what we go through he always and will forever hold my heart. I decided I would jump on him and wake him up that way. As I pushed the door open I gasped at what I saw. Amber, his ex laying on my side of the bed with my fiancee'.

Clothes, both his and hers, thrown everywhere meaning they were naked under the thin sheet that lay on top of them. I stood there just staring, I couldnt believe he would do this to me. He promised he would never hurt me.

I got my wits about me and finally spoke. "What the hell brantley!" He flipped over but amber still lay there sleeping. I wanted nothing more than to drag her by the hair of her head out of my house and beat her ass.

He jumped up out of bed and pulled his boxers up. I wanted to throw something at him, slap him, do something but I stood froze to the spot. He stumbled over to me and grabbed my arm and walked outside of our bedroom shutting the door.

I stopped just a few steps from the bedroom door and pulled away from him. "What the hell? Im gone for one day and youve got that whore in our bed!"

He held up his finger to his lips, "shhh."

That pissed me off that much more. "You want me to be quiet!? So I dont disturb that homewreckers sleep! I dont give a fuck if she sleeps good or not. You and her both are very lucky I dont beat both of your asses!" I got right up in his face and dared him to tell me to be quiet again.

"Look," he said holding his hands up, "I got bored last night and you wasnt here again, so I went out to the bar. She was there and I was lonely. Youre never around anymore I need some love every now and then."

I slapped him across his face hard. His head snapped back but I didnt care. "Youre a asshole, I have been planning OUR wedding that you didnt want to help with. You wouldnt be alone if you would stop popping pills and drinking and come with me and help."

He looked back at me but there was no emotion on his face. Thats what worried me most. He wasnt feeling anything. "You know I would disappoint you at our wedding if I helped. Id get something wrong."

"Well you can forget about the wedding. It seems like you got all you need right in there." I pointed towards the bedroom door. I walked towards it and slung it open. Amber was standing beside the bed just pulling brantleys shirt over her body.

I pointed at her, "you say a god damn word and Ill fuckin stomp a mudhole in your ass. I advise you to get the fuck out before I change my mind and do it anyway." She grabbed her pants and pulled them on and headed out of the room.

I grabbed a duffle bag and started shoving my clothes in it. "What are you doing?" I heard brantley say behind me. I gave a humorless chuckle and kept stuffing clothes in it.

"What does it fuckin look like?" I threw over at my shoulder.

"Looks like your making the biggest mistake of your life." He said emotionless.

Before I knew what I was doing I picked up one of his heavy boots and threw it. The boot connected with the aide of his face. "Mistake!? You think Im making a mistake. No honey you made the biggest mistake of YOUR life the moment you picked that whore up and brought her to our house!"

I kept packing my clothes and when the duffle bag was full I zipped it up and threw it over my shoulder. "Ill send kolby or mama becky to get the rest of my stuff. Dont call me when you get sober." I walked out towards the front door but stopped before I walked outside.

My heart was breaking into a million pieces. The love of my life cheated on me and doesnt seem to care. I heard his footsteps behind me.

"You walk out that door, dont you ever come back." He said, I dropped my bag and turned towards him. He smiled thinking I had decided to stay.

The tears started flowing freely then. Seeing how cold he was towards me, no emotion no love in his eyes. "What happened to us? We used to be so happy. When did things go bad?" I asked almost in a whisper.

He shrugged, "I dont know. I guess I fell out of love with you a long time ago. I dont want you anymore, Im moving on to better things. Keep the ring, pawn it, sell it whatever you wanna do."

I nodded and took the ring off my finger that I thought would never come off. I placed it in the palm of his hand and closed his hand around it. "Take care of yourself brantley." I walked back over to the door and picked my bag up and walked out to my old mustang sitting in the driveway.

I threw my bag in the back seat and slammed my car door. I started my car and drove down the driveway. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw brantley standing on the porch staring at my ring in his hand.

I drove all night that night until I made it to florida. I stopped at the first hotel and checked in. I called mama becky as soon as I was settled and told her what had happened. After that phone call I texted brantleys brother kolby and asked him to pick my stuff up from brantleys. He said he would and asked if I was okay. I replied with a simple 'I will be.' I turned my phone off and curled up on the bed crying myself to sleep.

1 year later....

I was working at a local diner as a waitress working nights mostly but whenever someone called in I would be the first to take their shift. I was run down but I needed the money.

It was a little after 1 in the morning and there was no one in the diner. I took that moment to walk outside for a smoke break. My eyes felt heavy and I probaly got a total of 4 hours of aleep over the past 36 hours. Rent had to be paid so I sucked it up and done what had to be done. I walked back into the diner and I heard on the speakers a voice from the local radio dj.

'Here is the new single from the newest and hottest thing in country music today. Heres shes my kinda crazy by brantley gilbert.' 

My heart stopped as I heard his beautiful voice coming through the speakers. I closed my eyes and the lyrics just broke my heart. I have missed him so much and I still think about the day that everything changed. The bell above the door rang as someone came in the diner.

Sal the night manager walked out feom behind the counter. "Sit anywhere you like sir, our waitress will be with you shortly." I was still stuck in a daze but I cleared my head and pulled out my paper and pen ready to take the order.

I turned and walked over to the booth where the man was sitting. I couldnt believe my eyes. Brantley sitting there drumming his fingers on the table. Watching me. I stumbled a bit but remembered what happened a year ago. I stood straighter and walked over, not looking at him.

"What can I get you?" I said very coldly.

"How bout a smile darlin." He said smoothly.

I rolled my eyes. "We only serve food and drinks here. You want a smile theres a bar right across the way there. Im sure you will find lots of them there."

I still had my eyes glued to my pad of paper, my pen hovering waiting for him to say what he really wanted. After a few minutes I turned my back "let me know when you decide."

That statement was about more than just his food choices. I was wanting ro see if he really had changed. I took the rag from behind the counter and started wiping tables down that were already squeaky clean. I just wanted to keep busy. I wanted to keep my mind off of brantley.

I saw movement from the corner of my eye. I looked up and brantley was motioning for me. I walked over pulling my pen and paper pad out again. "Finally decide on something?"

I still wouldnt look at him, he sighed "yeah burger, fries, and a mountain dew."

I scribbled it down and ripped the paper off. "Alright be right back with your drink." I said turning before he could say anything else. I gave the order to the cook and got his drink ready. I waited until his food was done before I took it to him.

"Heres your food and your drink. Enjoy." I said trying to turn away but he grabbed my wrist.

"Why dont you have a seat? Looks like im your only customer so you cant be busy."

I growled and plopped down on the other side of the booth looking at anywhere but at him. I kept quiet, the only sound was the music comig from the speakers and the hum from the fridge behind the counter.

"Would you just look at me (Y/N)? Please?" He said sounding exhausted. I sighed and looked him dead in the eyes. Shutting off all emotions. I waited for him to speak, he sighed and closed his eyes. He shook his head, "you look tired."

I chuckled humorlessly, "wow thanks. Thats a nice way of saying I look like shit."

He shook his head, "no I meant it just like it came out. You look tired. But youre still beautiful."

I snickered and rolled my eyes. "Rents gotta be paid brantley. I have to work to make rent." He nodded and he opened his mouth but before he could speak I cut him off. "Why the hell are you here brantley?"

He grabbed for my hand but I pulled back. "I came to see you darlin."

I rolled my eyes, "well you saw me. Now can I get back to work?"

I went to get up but this time he did grab my hand. "Please just talk to me. Its been a year. Im sober now. Thinking clearly for the first time."

I smiled at that, "thats great brantley." I pulled my hand from his and stood up. "Im really happy that you have turned your life around. I heard your song on the radio right before you came in. Its great, just hate that its about that damn whore." I said the last part through gritted teeth. He shook his head and opened his mouth as if to say something but the bell rang above the door before he could.

I turned to see a young couple that looked weary from a road trip come in. "Hey yall sit anywhere you want. Ill be right there." I turned back towards brantley who still hadnt touched a bite of his food. I shrugged, "duty calls. Heres your check, if you want anything else let me know and Ill adjust it. If not sal can ring you up when youre done. Bye brantley, take care of yourself."

The younger couple ordered breakfast platters and coffee so I was pretty busy with refilling their cups and everything. Right as my shift ended an hour later I walked outside and lit me a much needed cigarette. I started walking over to my mustang but slowed up when I noticed brantleys truck parked right beside it. Brantley was leaning against the side of it casually smoking a cigarette himself.

I walked over just as he threw his cigarette to the ground. "There you are." He said smiling.

I fished my keys out of my purse and went to unlock my door. Brantley stopped me before I could climb in. "Hey, I was hoping we could talk for a minute." He said, his voice filled with hope.

I sighed and slumped against my car. "Im very tired brantley. I wanna go home and go to bed. Make it quick." I sighed glancing at my watch.

"Okay, look I know things ended bad between us and everything." I raised one of my eyebrows at him and crossed my arms. "Whats your point brantley?"

He sighed, "I dont know what Im trying to say. Look, mama told me where you were and I wanted to bring some stuff to you. I thought you might want it." He handed me a box the size of a shoe box. I took it and nodded.

"I uh, got a show the next town over. If you want Ill leave you a ticket at will call." He said rubbing the back of his neck.

I turned and climbed in my car and placed the box beside me in the seat. "Thanks but no thanks. Im swamped at work and I cant afford to take off."

He nodded and leaned down, "I know I just thought...."

I cut him off before he could speak. "Nothings changed brantley. Now if youll excuse me Im going home to get some sleep before my next shift in a few hours."

I cranked my car and didnt give him a chance to reply. I knew if he did then I would probably break. It was hard enough seeing him tonight and trying to act like I didnt care. All I wanted to do was throw myself in his arms and let him kiss away this last miserable lonely year.

Also in the back of my mind was what he did. He cheated when he promised he never would. He promised he would always love me but he told me that day he fell out of love with me. I could never forget that.

I drove back to my small apartment and headed straight for the bed. Sleep came easy but those blue eyes haunted my dreams.

[rvnjun]

wedding dress | kim jungwoo

Warnings: Fighting Genre: Fluff with a some Angst Word Count:10.1k A/n: This is the longest thing i've ever written. Im not even sure if its good or even makes sense. I just feel like the reader and Jungwoo didn't bond much but my friend said she really liked the story anyway so il go ahead and post it.  I might delete this later. Oh and sorry Doyoung XD Definitely spelling and grammar errors, if you spot any please let me know 

Your grip tightened on the pillow, you squeezed it like your entire life depended on it. The air seemed to be thick with tension. The longer you two went without saying another the more you felt heavy. You looked around your apartment, the place that normally felt so warm and welcoming felt foreign. It didn’t feel like your home anymore, it felt like a trap. 

“Y/n” Doyoungs stern voice snapped you out of your trance. Never once had you heard him sound so hurtful.

 “Did you even listen to a thing I said? God stop being such an idiot,” Doyoung snapped at you. He sighed, tapping his feet rapidly against the ground. Your heart clenched in pain, his words echoed in your head making you feel sick. 

“I was listening. Doyoung,, I,, I thought you loved me?” You squeaked out, afraid to look him in eyes. 

Doyoung shook his head “I did, at least I thought I did. For a while, I pretended to still be happy but I can’t keep doing this anymore. As I said, I’ll pack up my stuff and move in with a friend,” Doyoung causally talked about the breakup like it really didn’t matter to him. More than anything you started to feel your anger bubble up. 

“Did this relationship mean nothing to you? I just,, I can’t believe you! After 3 years together your breaking up with me like this relationship meant absolutely nothing to you,, and,, and the wedding? I already have my dress and it’s already planned. What am I supposed to tell everyone!” Your voice raised with every word. 

Doyoung scoffed at you “Simple, we will cancel it. You can return the dress. It’s not that big of a deal,” he didn’t answer your question instead he made your relationship out to be nothing. It started to be overbearingly painful to continue to hold back your tears. You finally let loose, the hot tears cascaded down your cheeks.Your cheek bone felt like they were throbbing. 

“Is there someone else?” You finally asked what had been on your mind all night. Doyoung seemed taken back by your words. He stared at you in surprise. His silence was physically suffocating. You started to choke on your tears, coughing a few times you waited for his reply. 

Hesitantly he nodded his head “You’re smarter than I thought you were,” he pointed out. 

“Oh god,, why? Who is it Doyoung!! Who is it!” You demanded, still in tears. You took a step forward and clung to the kitchen counter with all your might. Your knees felt like they were gonna give out. 

“I fell in love with her the minute I laid eyes on her. I’ve seriously never seen someone so beautiful. It was really refreshing. I thought back to you and I never felt the spark. It was supposed to be a one-time thing, I mean, I had just proposed. One turned into two and then eventually it became an every Thursday thing. With Jieun I feel alive,” Doyoung passionately described his secret love affair with Jieun. 

“Jieun?” You asked in reassurance. Jieun was the new intern at your work, she was a sweet and cute looking young girl. 

“Are you kidding me? She is practically a kid, Doyoung,” your entire body started to shake. Finally, your knees gave out, Doyoung took a few steps forward and caught you In his arms beige you could hit the ground. It felt nice to be in his warm embrace for the last time.

 You quickly came to your senses, pushing him away as hard as you could you yelled “Go away!! Just fucking leave, I don’t want to see your face again,” you started pushing on his chest. Doyoung grabbed your hand and looked into your red and puffy eyes 

“Calm down. I need you to tell me that you won’t tell anyone I cheated?” Doyoung wanted to make one thing clear. You bit your lip to hold back even more tears, Doyoung only cared about his image. 

“Fine but under one condition. We tell everyone that I called off the engagement, it will make me feel better.” You did your best to sound stern. If Doyoung was going to break up with you for another girl 2 months before you were going to get married you didn’t want anyone to know the truth. 

Doyoung smiled and lightly laughed “Yeah that’s perfectly fine! I’m so glad that you have a simple mind. Well if that’s it then I’m gonna grab some of my things and leave. I’ll pack up my stuff while you are at work this way we don’t have to see each other.” He patted your shoulder and left for your previously shared bedroom. 

You stared at the cold tile floor, all your happy memories with Doyoung flashed in your head. From the time when you first saw him to the time when he first asked you out. You could remember the joy of Doyoung returning your feelings. You lightly giggled when you remembered the feeling of your heart bursting in joy when you saw him on one knee. Doyoung walked out of the room, sending a message on his phone. 

He looked up at you and met your gaze “Thank you for being so understanding,” he awkwardly waved before slipping on his shoes and leaving. Like he hadn’t just ripped your heart out and stepped on it. 

“Hey Kim Dongyoung,,you’re a heartless monster,” your voice was wobbly as you were on the verge of tears once more. “I guess they do say that the hottest love has the coldest end,” your vision blurred with hot tears. “Why did you have to leave me? Couldn’t you see how much I loved you!” You screamed, grasping at your hair. Angrily you started jumping up and down, loud sobs echoing through the empty and barren feeling apartment. 

The place that was once full of love and warm was now dead and cold. “Do you know much money I spent on the wedding? Oh my god, the wedding. What am I gonna do?” You started to panic and rambled to yourself about all of the problems that you were suddenly realizing. “Fuck!” You screamed, grabbing the pillow that your fist clenched and chucked it at the wall. 

A wave of exhaustion washed over you. Your body acted before your mind did. You pushed open the bedroom door and stared at the empty king sized bed. The room still had a lingering scent of him. Glancing towards the closet you admired his clothes that were still here. Sniffling a little you pulled one of his hoodies off of the hanger. Slipping your shirt off over your head you put on his hoodie. Hugging it close to your body it felt like he was hugging you one last time. Yawning you felt another wave of exhaustion wash over you. Crawling in the bed you rested on what was normally his side. “Why did you have to leave me, Doyoung? Why?” Your body started to shake with tears. No one around to comfort you, even when you told everyone the wedding had been called off you still wouldn’t have anyone to comfort you. No one would know the truth except for Doyoung, Jieun and you. The last thing you saw before you drifted off into sleep was Doyoungs adorable bunny smile.

Rolling over to your other side you continued to lay in bed. If someone had walked in on you right now they would think they discovered a dead body. Which honestly was true, at this point you felt dead and emotionless. How could Doyoung so casually break up with you when just a year ago he was proposing? You held your mouth shut and started to scream, your body took over and you flailed around the bed like a fish out of water. 

“Asshole,” you yelled, grabbing a pillow off the end you chucked it at his side of the closet. Your knotted hair momentarily blocked your vision, reminding you that you were long overdue for a shower. For about 7 days you had done nothing but cry in bed and eat. Blindly reaching for your phone you attempted to find it. When you finally felt the hard case, you pressed the home screen and checked the time. The bright screen caused you a great deal of pain. You managed to make out that you had over 23 missed calls, all from Johnny and Yuta. A text message caught your eye “Y/n!!! We! Need! To! Talk!” from Johnny. You read, realizing that Doyoung had probably told them already. 

You tossed your phone to the side and thought back to the wretched night. How calm you had seemingly been when he left. Part of you was so upset and distraught at Doyoung for breaking up with you when you were to be married but another part of you didn't care. It felt nice to not be with him because deep down inside you knew that your feelings for Doyoung had faded the past few months, you loved him but not as much as you could have. Sighing you sent Johnny a quick text “Yeah, we do.”

“It was a mutual decision but I was the one who initiated it. We just realized that we weren’t meant for each other,” you explained to Johnny and Yuta with a fake smile. It was hard to act so bravely, you didn’t want to leave the house today but Johnny called you saying he heard from Doyoung that you guys broke up about a week ago. You had spent that whole week laying in your tear stained bed feeling sorry for yourself. 

“Are you serious? So what are you gonna do with the wedding stuff?” Yuta asked curiously. 

He scanned you up and down, trying to search you for any hint of a lie. You gave them both a smile “I decide that I’m gonna donate it all!” You took a sip of your vanilla tea and watched their reactions closely. 

“All of it? But you spent so much on it,” Johnny pointed out with his mouth agape. 

“Yeah, but I was lucky enough to be able to afford all of it. Someone girl out there is about to get married but doesn’t have the money for all the super expensive stuff. I want to give back,” you looked around you. The cafe was filled with a lot of people today. A young couple caught your eye, they looked so happy and in love.

 “Don’t believe it all. He might be cheating on you,” you yelled at them in your head. “You’re such a nice person. I’m going to be honest, I’m really shocked that you called off the wedding. Doyoung really loved you. I’m sad.” Yuta lightly laughed, not realizing the drastic pain his words shot to your heart. 

Johnny nodded his head “Did he beg for a second chance?” Johnny made the entire situation worse. 

“No. It was a mutual feeling.” Your words held no emotion behind them, you felt dead while telling them the lie you had spun for the sake of yours and Doyoungs pride. Johnny and Yuta exchanged a look before nodding. 

“Doyoung was really upset, wasn’t he? And he wanted you to tell everyone it was mutual, didn’t he?” Yuta and Johnny thought they had cracked the code. Except the only thing they cracked was your feelings. 

“As much as I wish I could stay and gossip longer I have some errands to run. So if you don’t mind I’ll be taking my leave,” you quickly grabbed your things and left. You didn’t even spare them a second glance, just like Doyoung did to you. A vibration from your phone caused you to open it “Are you kidding me Y/n? Doyoung was such a good guy, how dare you call off the engagement!” Your sister texted. You started to cry as you stared at the bright screen. 

The words echoing in your head “Doyoung wasn’t as good of a guy as you all thought!” You screamed at the top of your lungs. A few passersby stared at you with wide eyes before they started to whisper amongst themselves. “Whatever,” you sent back not even caring what she thought of you at this point. “Why am I the bad guy? This isn’t what I intended,” you mumbled to yourself. “Doyoung is the real bad guy,” you added before finally arriving at the bus stop. You glanced up at the sky which was now greying. “I’ll just run some errands tomorrow. I want to sleep,” you sat down on the bench at waited for it to arrive.

 Your eyes blurred once more with burning tears. You were about to wipe with your hand them when someone held a handkerchief in front of you. Glancing up at the wonder of the hand you locked eyes with a gentle brown color. He shook his hand and glanced at the handkerchief. Most of his face was covered with a scarf but you could still make out his soft features. You slightly smiled before grabbing the handkerchief. More tears started to fall at the kindness of this stranger “thank you and I’m so sorry to bother you,” your voice broke. The stranger's eyes widened “You aren't bothering me, if you were I wouldn’t have done anything,” he pointed out. He lowered his scarf so you could hear him. You folded the handkerchief and stretched out to hand it back to him. You locked eyes with him once more and you felt your heart rate pick up speed. He gave you an adorable gummy smile and took it back.

 “I hope whatever has made you upset will pass,” he smiled, placing the handkerchief back in his pocket. “Thank you. Your kindness is appreciated,” you said before a dark blue bus pulled up. You stood up and sent the kind stranger a look. He shook his head and waved goodbye “Bye-“ you waited for him to say his name. “Jungwoo,” He introduced. “Bye Jungwoo and thank you, I’m Y/n” you slowly started to enter the bus. “Bye Y/n I hope your day gets better,” he managed to say before the bus driver shut the door. The driver sent you a scary glare. You hurriedly sat down in a seat and watched Jungwoo as the bus pulled away.

You stared down at the ripped piece of paper in your hand. The address was the same as the building in front of you. Pushing open the door you looked around. After a few seconds, you found the counter. 

“Excuse me?” You asked approaching the coworkers. They both turned around to face you at the same time. You gasped a little when you locked eyes with Jungwoo. “Oh,” he said while staring at you. “How can we help you, miss?” The other one asked without noticing anything. 

You looked at his name tag before speaking up “Hello Lucas. I want to donate this dress but I wanted to make sure that it gets sold for a low price,” you shook your head and pushed aside all your embarrassment from Jungwoo watching you return your wedding dress. 

“Oh god. Are you sure? This dress looks really expensive and new?” Lucas boldly said while taking the dress from you. 

He looked it up and down and sent you another look “Yeah. Can you guys please sell it for a low price?” You asked again wanting to make sure the dress could be sold at a cheap price. 

“Uh yeah. We sure can. May you please out this form,” Lucas handed you a light blue form and a pen. 

The whole time Jungwoo never said anything which kinda scared you. You didn’t know why you cared so much what Jungwoo thought of you but you did. Jungwoo stared at you with sad looking eyes. “All it asks is why you are returning and a few other things,” Lucas continued to perfectly do his job. Jungwoo just stood there in silence. 

You quickly filled out the form and sighed it. “Well if that’s it then I’ll be taking my leave,” you quickly handed Lucas the form and rushed out of the store. You felt like crying under Jungwoos intense stare. 

“Wow. I wonder why she is returning a brand new wedding dress?” Lucas said while admiring the dress. Jungwoo looked at it and sighed “I think I know why,” Jungwoo spoke, connecting the pieces together. 

Lucas made a weird sound and turned to look at his quiet coworker “Well spill the beans dude. You can’t just say that and not tell me, man!” Lucas yelled and hit Jungwoos chest in a playful manner. 

“Why else would someone be returning a brand new dress! Her wedding was probably called off for whatever reason,” Jungwoo stared at the door almost waiting for you to appear again. 

“Oh shit, you right. I wonder why?” Lucas questioned, also looking towards the door. 

“I don’t have the answer to that,” Jungwoo simply said before going back to what he was doing before you came. He did his best to focus but your image was clouding his mind. He couldn’t help but wonder, why did your wedding get called off?

It’s not like you actually wanted to go back, you just had a few more things to donate. You silently prayed that Jungwoo would be there again, or Lucas. It would be rather embarrassing see them 2 days in a row, both times you donating your old wedding stuff. You looked down at the big tote bag to make sure that you had everything you wanted. It was a bunch of simple decorations, like the table toppers and a few rief like objects. Pushing open the door you immediately looked at the counter. 

“Welcome back!” Lucas greeted, you felt your cheeks burn red at the way he greeted you. Jungwoo turned around and faced you, he gave you that adorable gummy smile that had been in your head for the past few days and waved. “Hi,” you quietly said, approaching the counter once more. 

Jungwoo had already grabbed the form and a pen for you. You reached out to grab them, your fingers over so slightly brushing against each other. Like they describe in the books and movies, you felt a spark of a foreign emotion shoot through your whole body. Both you and Jungwoo momentarily stopped what you were doing. 

It wasn't until Lucas spoke up “So what you got this time?” that you finally came to your senses. Pulling away from Jungwoo you sent Lucas a small smile. “Decorations, this should hopefully be the last time you see me,” you told them the truth. Jungwoos mouth fell open. He wanted to say something, ask for your number at least, but he knew that you recently called off a wedding and he wanted to be a gentleman. “Why did your wedding get called off?” Lucas asked without missing a beat. Jungwoos eyes widened and he turned to face Lucas with an absolutely dumbstruck look on his face. Lucas felt Jungwoos intense gaze on him and he turned to face the older boy “What?” Lucas asked, confused. 

You started to laugh at the interactions between the two. Despite the fact that they were coworkers they seemed to be really good friends. You scoffed and thought back to the old intern, Jieun. She seemed like such a sweet and innocent young girl. All of the things you did for her when she told you that she and her boyfriend broke up you let her stay at your house for 2 weeks. Were her and Doyoung lying and secretly using the opportunity to hook up? In your own home? You felt your stomach churn at the thoughts, you don't want to say it but you knew it was probably true. 

Lucas looked back at you with his doe eyes, he was clearly waiting for your response. You stopped writing and looked back up at him “We just weren't meant to be,” you simply said. You tried to keep your answer as vague as possible. It was at the point that if you told another person that “you” called off the wedding you would probably break down in tears. It was tiring to tell everyone your lie and have them immediately take Doyoungs side and yell at you for being a bitch. 

Jungwoo bit his lip, he thought for a moment and decided to speak “As long as you're happy. It isn't good to hold things back,” Jungwoo didn't realize how much his words actually applied to you. You awkwardly laughed “Yeah,, I'm getting there,” you honestly told them. Sliding the form and pen back across the counter you handed Lucas the bag and turned to leave. Jungwoo reached his hand out, like you were going to see it, and watched you leave. You stopped at the door for a split second, it was oddly weighing you down to have to leave Jungwoo once more. You shook your head and raised a hand to wave goodbye. Quickly you pushed open the door and were greeted by the sharp cold wind. You sighed and made your way to the bus stop. Jungwoos bright smile ingrained in your head.  

Dragging your feet you prepared yourself for your boss to probably fire you. You stopped in front of the small cafe and wanted to throw yourself off of a bridge. Jieun better be glad that she didn't intern here anymore, otherwise you probably would have poured coffee over her head. Straightening your shoulders you put on a smile and pushed open the glass door. The above rang and your coworkers looked at you like they had seen a  ghost.

 “You're back!” one of them beamed while running over to hug you. “I heard what happened, I'm so sorry,” they added, giving you a tighter hug. You lightly chuckled and hugged back. “Sorry that I kinda abandoned you guys, I needed a little time to recover,” you said. 

“That's reasonable, you just called off your wedding that you had been raving about for weeks,” your bosses stern voice echoed through the cafe. You felt your blood run cold but her words didn't seem to have any malicious intent to them,,, they seemed genuinely caring. 

“I know its a little odd but there was a lot going on behind the scene,” you tried to explain without telling them the truth. Your boss and coworkers simply nodded. “Well L/n you'll have a lot to make up for while you were gone. I expect you to be working extra hard, got it?” she turned her back and prepared herself to go back to the office. You nodded your head so fast you got light headed “Understood,” you jokingly saluted making your coworker laugh. You boss slightly smiled before wiping it off and returning to the office. You rushed to the break room and put on your apron and name tag. 

Returning back you got to work like you hadn't been gone for 2 weeks. The workday went by as it normally would, you were already feeling tired but you kept the smile on your face and focused on making the correct orders. The bell rang and you turned to greet the customer. “Hi welcome-” you stopped speaking and stared like a deer in the headlights. Lucas beamed once he saw you and Jungwoo scratched the back of his neck. 

“Wow Y/n this must be fate!” Lucas boosted, not realizing that you and Jungwoo had met before you two did. Jungwoo laughed at his younger friend words. He cocked his head to the side when he thought about Lucas's words, it was a little odd that you happen to meet on the street, at his work, and now at your work. “I guess so,” you joke while preparing yourself for their orders.

Your coworkers looked between you three “Hey Y/n you gonna tell me who these hotties are orrrr?” you coworker nudged and whispered in your ear. You felt a pang in your heart at her words “Uh, this is Jungwoo and Lucas, I just recently met them,” you half-assedly said. “Nice to meet you two I'm-” you but your coworker off from introducing herself and asked, “How may I take your orders?” Your co-worker didn't see anything wrong with you cutting her off and she started to laugh, thinking that you were doing it as a joke. 

Lucas gave you his big smile and glanced at the menu “Yeah, can I get a double chocolate chip frappe?” he asked. You nodded your head and punched that in, glancing at Jungwoo you blushed when you saw he was already looking at you. You both awkwardly looked away. Coughing Jungwoo started to speak “Yeah uh,, may I get ultra caramel frappe?” he gave you a nervous smile. You nodded your head and punched it in the machine “Will that be all?” you asked. They both nodded, Jungwoo swiped his card, paying for both the orders. They left to sit at a table and wait. 

You decided in that moment that you were going to make the best frappes they had ever had. You worked diligently to make sure that the drinks would taste amazing, you even added a little extra chocolate chip to Lucas’ and caramel to Jungwoos. Calling their name you smiled as they walked up to collect their drinks. “So you work here?’ Jungwoo asked while mentally cursing himself for asking such a stupid question. Lucas whipped is head to look at Jungwoo with a dumbfounded look. You giggled at Jungwoos nervous face and nodded “Every Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday!” you told him your work days in hopes that maybe he’d visit. “Really? I'll make sure to come when you're working,” Jungwoo smiled gently at you. His cheeks turned a light pink in happiness. 

Lucas looked between you two before looking like he was realizing something. “Alright Y/n, as much as Jungwoo would love to stay and talk we have to get back to work. Oh and thanks for the dinks, man, they taste amazing,” Lucas laughed at his own words and started to leave the shop. Jungwoo shot Lucas a betrayed look before waving goodbye to you. “Bye Y/n, have a wonderful work day,” Jungwoo said his goodbyes and followed Lucas out of the door. You watched him leave with a content smile. Your co-worker gave you a confused look “Oh my god Y/n don't tell me you called off the wedding because you fell for someone else?” she asked with her mouth agape. You whipped your head to her and gave her a dark stare “I didn't call off the wedding because I liked someone else, I'm not that low,” you didn't mean for your voice to come out as dark, it just did. She seemed to take the hint and went back to work while whistling. You felt bad for snapping but you weren't having any of it.

Punching the order into the cash register you told your co-worker what they wanted so they could get started on that. This day felt like it would never end. It didn't help that it started to horribly, some customer accuse you of spitting in their drink and they demanded to watch the security footage. Then there was the lady who brought her toddler in and blamed you guys when he tripped and fell. Everything seemed to be going wrong and you wanted it to end. Another customer walked in, you grumbled and prepared yourself to deal with another maniac. 

“Hi Y/n,” a soft voice said. You didn't have to look up to know who it was “Jungwoo,” you contently said while looking up to see his charming smile. “Would you like the same as the other day?” you asked. Talking with Jungwoo just seemed so natural and easy. 

He nodded his head “Oh, you remember?” Jungwoo felt a little bashful that you remembered his order. 

“Of course,” you punched it in and asked your coworker to make it. 

Jungwoo noticed your disheveled appearance, he could tell you were tired so he asked: “Has it been a long day?” 

Your shoulders slumped and you nodded your head “Yeah, I don't get why customers blame us for nothing,” Jungwoo nodded in understanding. An idea came into his head, he was just a little nervous to say it. 

Thinking to himself he pushed aside his nerves “What time do you get off?” His word caught you by surprise. 

You fiddled with your fingers “6pm,” you bit your lip and waited to see what he would say next. 

Jungwoo looked away while speaking “Would you mind if I took you out for dinner,,, you really look like you could use it,” he added at the end trying to not make it seem like a date. Even if that's what he wanted it to be. Your tummy feels all warm inside, it had been such a long time since you been out anywhere with a guy. Even towards your last few months with Doyoung you guys didn't really go anywhere or do anything special. Honestly Looking back on it all you should have seen it coming. He became so distant during your last few months and he barely kissed or hugged you.

 Deciding in your head you smiled at Jungwoo “That sounds really amazing, I'd love too.” Your words caught Jungwoo by surprise He was really preparing himself to be rejected. ‘Really?” he stuttered. 

You giggled at his cute flustered reaction “Yes really.” Your coworker handed you his drink and went back to what she was doing. Quietly eavesdropping on your conversation. 

“A,,,alright! I'll stop by when you get off and I'll take you somewhere nice, you won't regret it,” Jungwoo put his hand into a fist and gave you a determined giggle.

 “I'm sure I won't, see you later,” you waved goodbye to him. You couldn't help but feel like a teenage girl again. When you first met Doyoung you were so young and naive, you really thought he was the one for just because he was nice. However, now that you aren't together anymore and you've seen a completely different sid not him you realize that he really wasn't the one for you. You were so caught up in wanting to get married that you didn't really care who you got married too. Your coworker scoffed at the interaction. 

“You literally just broke Doyoungs heart and you're already hooking up with someone else. Y/n don't think I don't know the truth about you, Jieun told me that you kicked Doyoung out without any explanation. He showed up at her doorstep in tears, Jieun is such a nice girl, she and Doyoung are way better together than you,” she thought to herself while watching you closely. 

You quickly spun around and gave her an enthusiastic smile “Did you see that I still have it in me,” you joked while bursting into a fit of giggles. 

She pretended to laugh along with you, “I'm surprised! I really thought you were upset with your breakup, you're recovering very quickly;” her words were laced with venom. Y

ou furrowed your eyebrows “I still am really upset about the whole breakup,, but-” you couldn't exactly tell her the truth so you played around with your words “but,, as I said, Doyoung and I just weren't meant to be. The last few months of our relationship were not the best and it was a mutual agreement to call it off,” you explained, using your hands to help tell the story.

 She nodded her head and sarcastically said: “yeah,, totally.”

The sun was setting, letting this emotion-packed day come to an end. You finished wiping the counter and hardly rushed to the break room. You touched up your hair and makeup and left to go wait for Jungwoo. Exiting the breakroom you were greeted with the sight of Jungwoo adorable rocking back and forth on his heels. His hands were in his sweaters pockets and his bangs messily rested on his forehead. 

“Hi,” you quietly waved at him. Jungwoo looked p and met your eyes, he smiled. 

“Well come on, let me take you somewhere nice,” he giggled at his own awkwardly choice of words. You smiled and followed close behind him, sending one last look to your coworker. 

“Where are we going?” you asked, curiously taking you over. 

“It really isn't the nicest place and it definitely isn't impressive, it's just somehow I find relaxing,” he chuckled. 

“Do you have a jacket? Cause you might get cold,” he added while looking you up and down. 

“Oh,, no,” you rubbed your neck in embarrassment. 

Jungwoo could tell that you felt bad “That's okay! If you get cold you can borrow my jacket,” he didn't realize how much his words would affect you. Your cheeks turned red and you felt your body dance in excitement. You couldn't help but compare Jungwoo to Doyoung.

 At first, Doyoung was sweet and would offer you his jacket but towards the end, he called you an idiot for not bringing one. WIthout thinking the words came out of your mouth “You're a lot nicer than Doyoung,” once the words came out of your mouth you covered your face behind your hand. J

ungwoo cocked his head to the side and looked back at you “Was Doyoung your fiance??” he asked, seemingly unbothered but your sudden words.

 Before you could answer he smiled when a food truck came into view “Ah! I know it's not that amazing but I like to get some food from here and eat it over at that picnic bench,” he pointed to a picnic bench under a tree.

 You giggled at how excited he seemed “I think it is amazing.” You both ordered your food and waited for it to be finished. 

“He was,, we were dating for 2 years and engaged for 1,” you looked over to meet Jungwoos gaze. 

He seemed sad as he spoke “You must’ve really liked him to be in such a long relationship with him,” he pointed out. You let out a laugh in relief. The vendor handed you your food and wished you a nice day. Walking over to the bench you cracked your brain on what to say. It felt like if you told Jungwoo he would leave but something deep inside told you that it was okay to tell him. 

“I did,, he was my entire world and I was ready to give up everything for his happiness,” you felt your eyes water. 

“Can I ask you something?” Jungwoo said while quietly nibbling on his food. 

“Yeah go ahead,” you wiped the tears that were about to fall and stared at him, intently waiting for his question. 

“Why did you guys break up?” he sighed. The silence that took over you guys was kinda heavy. You started to cry, not holding back. The muscles in your face started to tremble, the wall that you had built up thanks to Doyoung came crashing down at Jungwoos gaze. He was taken aback at first but quickly pulled out his handkerchief. The same one he had when you first met. Instead of giving it to you he leaned across the table and dabbed at your tears for you. 

“Its okay, you don't have to tell me if it brings up such bad memories,” Jungwoo seemed like such a caring guy. 

“Can I tell you the truth?” you asked, needing to get everything off of your chest. 

“Of course, your secrets are safe with me,” he gave you a gentle smile and patiently waited. 

“We made a deal the night we broke up. I would tell everyone that I called off the engagement and his secret wouldn't get out. Now everyone thinks I'm some heartless bitch that broke her finances heart 2 months before their wedding. It's the other way around. He cheated on me with one of my old coworkers and he broke up with me to be with her,” you explode with all your raw emotions. Jungwoo held out his arms in response. 

You walked over to him and held him tightly. Shaking against his body your hands clutched at his jacket and you cried. He slowly rocked back and forth, rubbing warm circles on your back. It didn't take long for your tears to sain his sweatshirt but he didn't mind. You rubbed your eyes and looked up at him, linking slowly with your tear-soaked lashes. 

“You haven't told anyone the truth?” he asked in utter disbelief. 

He pulled you closer to him as you spoke “You're the first one. I never even told my own family what actually happened.” You looked up in surprise when you felt something wet fall on your head. Locking eyes with Jungwoo you noticed he was crying. 

“Oh my gosh why are you crying?” you asked while gently wiping away his tears with the pad of your thumb. 

“Because I feel so bad. Y/n I really haven't known you for a long time but you seem like such a nice and wonderful girl and it physically hurts me to see you in pain.” His words hit you like a truck, even when you were at your worst Doyoung was never this caring. 

You were deep in thought, Jungwoos warm arms stayed tightly wrapped around you. It reminded you of the first time you and Doyoung kissed. You had been at a stop picking out snacks to eat while messing around. Being so obnoxious and loud the owner had chased you two out. You can't remember how far you and Doyoung ran or why you even ran so far in the first place. All you knew was that you were having the time of your life, in that moment you had never experienced something more fun. When you finally stopped running you placed your hands on your knees and tried to catch your breath. 

Doyoung couldn't stop laughing at the entire situation, he pulled you in for a hug and rocked back and forth with you in his arms. Once I looked up Doyoung pressed his warm lips to yours and you shared your first kiss together. It was heartbreaking for you to remember. Your lungs felt like concrete had been poured into them, the harder the concrete dried the less you could breathe. 

Thinking about Doyoung, Jungwoos arms didn't feel right wrapped around you. You didn't know what you were doing. You suddenly pushed Jungwoo away from you and went run, tears cascading down your cheeks. Jungwoo called out after you but you kept running until your legs felt like giving out under you. Screaming you let your body fall to the ground, knees bursting in pain at the sudden contact. You choked on your tears, gasping for air you begged for the pain to be over, you begged to feel any emotion other than sadness for once. 

“What am I doing?? Why would Jungwoo like me? We just met and for all, I know he could turn out like Doyoung,” your anxieties spoke in your head. You let yourself believe them because you are so afraid of what would happen if you loved again. Hysterical cries that only stopped when you needed to breath could be heard by anyone that passed by. Kneeling on the cold hard ground you continued to let the sobs take over your body for a few minutes. A few people passed by and completely ignores you, they didn't seem to care about the weird girl on the street. 

Grabbing your phone you shakily dialed Johnny's number. After a few rings he picked up “Johnny can we talk? I need to tell you something,” you said, hoping to meet up with your best friend. After a few seconds of awkward silence Johnny's loud voice spoke “Y/n I'm really sorry but with I'm Doyoung right now, maybe later,” he suggested. Though his words may have suggested otherwise you couldn't feel any remorse in his words. “Forget about it,” you said, hanging up on him. 

Standing up you wiped your puffy eyes and racked your brain over what to do. Your knees felt extremely sore and your entire body was weighing you down. All you wanted was to talk to someone, but none of your friends were on your side. They had all changed their opinions of you after “you” canceled the wedding. Thinking about all the people that you thought were you close friends you mind finally landed on someone. Your dearest coworker, Kyungmin. She was one of the only people that seemed to still like you and she was happy when you told her about Jungwoo. 

Shakily pulling out your phone you scrolled through your contacts in an attempt to find her. She wasn't someone that you had really depended on, the only times you ever talked outside of work were discussing if one of you could cover each other's hours. The few times you did talk about non shift covering things you talked about how rude your boss had been. Not once did you talk about your personal life together. Despite all that you felt like you knew everything about her, working side by side with someone so many days a week you kinda had a bond. Clicking on the call button on your contact you waited for her to pick up. The store would have been closed by now and she probably would have been relaxing in her dorm. 

“Y/n?” she asked, clearly taken back by your sudden call. 

“Kyungmin can we talk??” you could tell that her voice had taken her by surprise, it was obvious that you had been crying. 

“Uhh,, in person or over the phone?” she rolled her eyes, not liking the thought of having to meet up with you. 

“I would prefer it in person but if you can then on the phone is fine,” honestly all you wanted was to be able to talk to someone and tell them what happened and everything that had been going on.

 “I don't think I can meet up right now but go ahead and tell me what's wrong. Did your date with Jungwoo go alright?” you smiled when it sounded like she was genuinely concerned. 

“Gosh, it went perfectly until I messed it up,” sighing you thought back to how happy you had felt. Inhaling a deep breath you began to explain to Kyungmin everything. Starting from the beginning with your breakup. Kyungmin nodded along and seemed like she was actually listening. Once you were done it felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. 

“Y/n,, I'm so sorry,” she said, voice cracking. You thought that she was apologizing for what happened to you so you want to speak up and tell her it was fine when she added “Doyoung and Jieun told everyone that you broke his heart and that he showed up on Jieun's door crying because you kicked him out,” KyungMin explained to you what Jieun told her. “What?!” you shoot up in shock, head spinning at the sudden movement. 

“Yeah, I believed them...maybe that's why no one has been talking to you. As for the Jungwoo thing,, I say you go find him and explain how you were feeling in that moment and why you pushed him away. He sounds like he genuinely likes you...Ill... I'll try and deal with Jieun. Once again Y/n, I am so sorry,” Kyungmin hurriedly hung up the phone. You weren't really sure if she was actually going to “deal” with Jieun like she said she would be you had no choice but to blindly trust her. 

Collecting yourself and clamp down you tried to think of where Jungwoo might be. You didn't have his number and didn't know where he lived so you were kinda screwed. “Should,, should I go to the donation store? Lucas and him seemed close so he might have gone to him to talk things out?” you thought to yourself. Biting your lip you googled the store and dialed the number It rang a few times before a scratchy voice you grew to love spoke up “Gifts that keep on Giving this is Jungwoo speaking, how may I help?” he sniffled a few times signaling to you that he had been crying. Without saying anything you hung up and started to run towards the store. 

Despite the fact that you could count the number of times you’d been to the store on your fingers, you knew how to get to it. “Kim Jungwoo!! I'm so sorry,, I like you Jungwoo!” you screamed, picking up your pace. The pedestrians around you stopped to stare, they were probably wondering why you were acting like a madman but you could care less. “I hurt your feelings and I'm so sorry! I was afraid of you getting close to me and then suddenly leaving like Doyoung did!” you screamed again. It felt rather nice to just scream and get all these bundled up emotions off your chest. “Kim Dongyoung and Lee Ji Eun!! I'm going to kill you, you cheated on me and you make me out to be the bad guy! You made all my friends and family think I was some heartless bitch who kicked you out, whatever happened to our agreement?” You screamed, stopping when the store came into view. The more you ran the smaller your lungs seemed to feel, it had been years since you ran this much. 

You pushed open the glass door so hard it smacked against the wall next to it, making a loud crashing sound. “Jung,,, Jun,, Jungwoo,” you painted, hands on your knees. “Y/n?” Jungwoo and Lucas asked at the same time. Jungwoo rushed over to our side, glancing up at Jungwoo you couldn't help but lightly smile. “I need to-” you started to say before your vision went completely black. Everything around you seemed to fade into a scarily dark void, taking you with them. “Oh shit,” Lucas yelled when you passed out. Jungwoo lunged forward, sliding on his knees he managed to catch you before you hurt yourself by hitting the floor.

”May you please get some water?’ Jungwoo asked Lucas. He picked you up in his arms and carried you to a chair in the breakroom. He immediately noticed you're already scabbed and bruised knees. “Oh, Y/n,, what did you do to yourself?” he questioned despite you being passed out. Seeing you so helpless in his arms once again made him want to burst into tears. After what felt like hours Lucas finally returned with a glass of water. Jungwoo took the cup from him and carefully parted your lips so he could pour the water. His free hand tilted your head up, helping you swallow. Your eyes closed tighter and your body started to stir.

 “Oh gosh,” you mumbled, raising a hand to your forehead. “Y/n! You're awake,” Jungwoos big dopey smile appeared on his face. You opened your eyes and hazily blinked up at the cute boy. His face was rather close to yours as he peered down at you. All the events that had led to this moment gave you a surge of confidence that would have never surprise. 

Pulling down you brought his face closer to yours and placed an intense kiss on his lips. existed in any other situation. You wrapped your arms around Jungwoos neck, catching him but Almost like they were made for each other your lips molded together perfectly, it felt like all the cliches movie kisses exploded in your stomach. It took Jungwoo a moment to process what is happening when his brain finally did his cheeks heated up redder than a cherry. He finally returned the kiss, his hands brushed some hair out of your face as he deepened the kiss even more by lightly biting your lip. Gasping heavily you pulled away for air, giggling while you took in Jungwoos disheveled appearance. You couldn't help but notice his red puffy eyes, you softly used the pad of your thumb to brush away some tear droplets that hung around his eyes. 

“I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain. I didn't mean to, I was just so scared about everything that's happening. It felt like everything was moving so fast and I couldn't help but think of Doyoung. Jungwoo these past few weeks you have done nothing but cheer me up and support me endlessly, more than Doyoung did in the entirety of our relationship. You have shown me what it's like to be loved again and I want you to know I returned the feelings,” your voice was low and airy as you were still gasping for air. 

Lucas who had been standing in the back watching this all happen gasped and crept away, back out into the shop so he didn't have to continue watching that. “Gross,” he mumbled to himself as he thought back to the intense kiss you two shared right in front of him. “Nasty,” he added while shaking his head. Jungwoo turned as he sensed his best friend leaving. Turning back to face you he began to giggle, he helped you sit up. 

“Y/n I don't know what it is about you but something just keeps pulling me in. I'll admit, it's kinda scary. I don't know what the futures hold but what I do know is that I want the future to involve you,” he said while leaning in to place a gentle and warm kiss on your partially swollen lips. “Jungwoo,” you mumbled, tears welling up in your eyes for the millionth time that night.Jungwoo  softly laughed, his voice cracked as he spoke:

 “Don't cry.” Despite his own words he started to cry along with you. Soon the shop was filled with your loud sobs and Lucas’ comments. The sound of your phone ringing snapped you out of your crying fest. Your hands shook as you fiddled with it. A look of confusion spread across your face when you saw who was calling, answering the phone you were even more surprised by the words that came through. 

“Johnny?” you asked recalling the last time you spoke to your best friend. 

“Is it true?” he asked in a sharp voice. 

“Is what true?” you played dumb at his words. 

“Did Doyoung really cheat on you?’ he asked feeling the urge to cry. He couldn't believe that he believed some guy he barely knew over his own best friend, he felt like a total douche. 

“Oh,, so the truth is out now,” you took a moment to look at Jungwoo before you smiled and continued. 

“Doyoung did cheat on me, he suddenly broke up with me and explained that he had spent the past few months of his life with Jieun and he loved her. I felt so embarrassed about the wedding being called off that I asked if we could have everyone believe that I was the one who called it off and that it was a mutual decision. I didn't know that he and Jieun would go around telling that lie. I'm sorry I never told you the truth,” as you spoke Jungwoo grabbed your hand caringly. 

“God Y/n,, I'm the one who should be sorry, not you. I can't believe I actually thought you broke Doyoungs heart, I should have known better. I'm so sorry, can you forgive me,, and Yuta?” he asked, voice cracking. Y

ou nodded your head even though he couldn't see you “Of course I'll forgive you. Besides don't be to saddened about Doyoung and I’s break up,, I've found someone who genuinely loves me and I could ask for more,” you said while staring into Jungwoos eyes. 

His eyes sparkled with excitement “Hey Johnny I have to go,, talk to you later,” you said while hanging up the phone. 

“I really am sorry that I ran away earlier. I couldn't get the memory of what Doyoung did out of my head and I got really scared, I thought maybe you were playing a trick on me. Then I realized that you are a genuinely nice guy and it was my own insecurities turning you into someone who you are not,, Jungwoo I,,, I think I'm in love with you?” you looked up from the floor and into his eyes once more. 

Jungwoo gulped at your words, he pulled you into his chest and rubbed your back soothingly. His scent was so intoxicating you almost didn't listen to what he had to say. 

“Y/n I know I'm in love with you. Ever since I first saw you waiting for the bus, I knew there was something special about you,” he said while holding you even tighter. Jungwoo cradled you in his arms like he was afraid of letting go. You signed into his warm embrace. 

“Since I haven't officially asked you yet. Y/n would you like to be my girlfriend?” he pulled away and peered down at you. A big smile grew on your face and you rapidly nodded your head “I would love that,, It would be an honor, you giggled and kissed Jugnoo again. Kissing him was something you knew you'd never get tired of, his lips were so magnetic and tasted like sweet nectar. 

“I uh hate to interrupt your lovey-dovey moment here and all but uh,, I need to close up,” Lucas’ loud voice boomed through the small dim lighted room. He scratched the back of his neck as he stared at the both of you. You both started to laugh at Lucas’ words. 

“Yeah sorry about that,” Jungwoo and you started to stand. 

“Y/n would you like to stay over at my place tonight?” he asked with an arm around your waist. Your heartbeat quickened at his word and you shyly nodded your head “I would love too.”

Fiddling with the flower and pearl clip in your hair you swayed side to side. Kyungmin giggled as she watched you from her place at the vanity. 

“Y/n don't worry! Everything will be fine,” she quietly encouraged you. You turned around slowly, using your hands to help you swerving in the dress. 

“Are you sure? What if he sees me and just decides to leave-” you were about to list of all the horrible things that could go wrong when Kyungmin interrupt you. 

“If you keep focussing on the ‘What if’ moments  then you won't be able to enjoy the current moments.” She stood up and approved your shaky figure, taking your hand in hers she stared deeply into your eyes. 

“Y/n Jungwoo loves you more than anything in this world and that's pretty obvious to any stranger that happens to walk past you two. He isn't going to leave, he isn't Doyoung,” she stated while trying to get it in your head. You felt your shoulders relax, you started to jump up and down in excitement. 

“Oh my gosh Kyungmin I'm getting married!” you yelled. You both started to squeal and scream, jumping in a circle together while swinging your hands back and forth.  

“My best friend is getting married!” Kyungmin screamed at the top of her lungs. The lady who was doing your makeup giggled as she stared at you both, she shook her head and remembered back to the day of her wedding. A loud knock on the door caused you both to freeze in place. Kyungmin quietly walked over and opened it up just a crack.

 “Oh, babe!” she said while opening it all the way and engulfing Lucas in a big hug. “Jungwoo is super nervous and wanted me to check up on you two,” he said while smiling down at Kyungmin.

 “I think it's clear that you are doing fine. No cold feet?” he pointed out while laughing at the scene he had just heard through the door. 

“Hey Y/n!” Lucas yelled while running up to you, careful not to step on your dress.

 “Guess what,” he said while giving you a teasing smile. Kyungmin had approached you tow, cruises as to what he was going to say. He grabbed your hand with one hand and grabbed Kyungmins with the other. Swinging your guys' arms he yelled at the top of his lungs “You're getting married!” and started to jump in a circle. All three of you giggled as you danced in a circle, rejoicing. 

“I can't believe this is happening, you cried out in joy. Lucas flopped back on the couch and stared at you with doe eyes. 

“Thank you. Jungwoo has always been a shy and timid boy until he met you. I've never seen him so glowing before,” his voice was soft, it was a drastic change form the normal Lucas you had grown to know and love. 

“Of course. You have an amazing best friend, you know,” you said while sighing. “Everyone get into positions,, its time,” one of the workers said. Kyungmin and Lucas left the room hand n hand. You pushed all your nerves aside and waited for your cue to walk down the aisle. 

With your arm wrapped with who was walking down the aisle, you took a deep breath and pushed open the door. With tears in your eyes, you scanned the crowd. Johnny and Yuta stood next to Lucas at the top as groomsmen, Kyungmin next to Johnny and Yutas girlfriends as bridesmaids. You tried to calm your beating heart as you slowly walked down the aisle. Your eyes carefully to skimmed over the crowd in fear of looking at Jungwoo. 

You gasped quietly and then beamed when your eyes landed on a familiar face. “They did come,” you thought as you smiled at Doyoung and Jieun. Despite everything that they had done to you, you invited them to your wedding. Doyoung looked you up and down with a proud smile. Breaking eye contact with Doyoung you finally looked at Jungwoo. 

Jungwoos hand was hiding his face as the stars rapidly cascaded down your cheeks. “You look stunning,” he mouthed making you lightly laugh. You wiped your own tears and carefully stood in front of him. All of your memories flashed through your head, you couldn't believe you had fallen in love with the cute boy at the bus stop who offered you his handkerchief. Your ears tuned in and out of the justice of the peace words as you stared at your handsome soon to be husband. 

Holding the paper tightly Jungwoo began saying his vows. Once he was done you ripped your tears and read yours in return. 

The justice of the peace smiled and asked: “Do you, Kim Jungwoo take Y/n as your lawfully wedded wife?” Jungwoo inhaled a deep breath and nodded “I do.” 

“Do you Y/N L/N take Jungwoo as your lawfully wedded husband?” You didn't even have to think for a month. Your heart screamed in joy as you said this destined two words, the words you thought you were going to say for Doyoung. “I do.” Everyone was ready to clap as the justice of the peace finally said. 

“I announce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,” he took a step aside. Jungwoo reached out and pulled you into him, your body pressed flush against his. Like the first time you ever kissed, fireworks erupted in your stomach and you giggled into the kiss. 

Pulling away every clapped and cheered. Kyungmin gave Lucas a warm smile while Johnny and Yuta high-fived. Doyoung and Jieun signed and held their hands together tighter. 

You were entering a new chapter of your life, one that you were not familiar with and you were more than happy that it was Jungwoo who would write it with you. 

[lotus-0398]

A/N:Hello! Im back with a new one. Ive been busy but hope you huys like it!

You can ask me anything and request anything if you like! ✨

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

You and Jin met in middle school. You were two years younger then him. He was your senpai in a way. He was alone and you sat by his side to make him company and thats where all started. You two love food, animals, coffee and other stuff. You two began to hang out and even though he graduated and moved to another school for high school. You two would still be in contact. You guys would hang out in arcades, at the pool, having picnic or just a sleep over in his house or yours. You guys were having the best days.

One day he came to you and told you he was a trainee at Big Hit. You were so excited and hugged him. You fully knew that was his dream and you were gonna be there to support him. Also you were beginning to have feelings for him. You dont want to be away from him, you want him to know that youll be there for him, that you care for him, you loved him and that he was everything to you. You didnt dare to tell him yet.

Months have passed, days, hours and you were close to all the members. You brought them food almost every day made by you so they will eat well. Also they debuted and they were being successful. You were happy to see Jins dream coming true, for you studying was hard but it was all worth it to have a future. Thank God you took clases online because you couldnt stand being in a room full of people and having to dress all days just to go to college was something you didnt want. But you could dress up all days for Jin. Yes you love him and still you havent confessed to him. You began to be very shy around him again and talking more to the others. Jin noticed this and one day he took you out of the practice room and placed you to the wall.

“Jin.. wh-whats wrong?”you stuttered. And looked down.

He looked at you and sighed” Why dont you talk to me so much? We used to talk a lot non stop.. did i did something wrong?” He said sad and you grabbed his hand

“No.. you havent done anything bad.. i just...”you kept silent. Thinking if you should tell him.

“Y/N... whats wrong? Is something bothering you?..i would do anything for you to be confortable you know?.. and i have something to tell you.. im gonna explode if i dont tell you.. i.”he bit his lips and looked at you in the eyes” i like you.. like a lot..and i cant stand you talking more with the others than me.. i know we dont like go together because now im a singer.. and having this life is difficult.. plus having someone its even more harder..i..”he kept silent. You looked at him.. you began to tear up and hugged him

“We can work this out.. i like you too.. Jinnie.. i.. ive fallen for you.. but i didnt know how yo say it to you. “You said all shy and he smiled widely.

“So.. you are telling me that.. like a year ago i could have tell you how i felt and we would be Girlfriend and boyfriend by now?”he got closer to you. You blushed immediately and nodded. He chuckled and placed a finger on your chin to make you look at him. He slowly got closer to you and your lips met. It was a sweet and tender kiss. It was better than you expected, he hugged you by the waist still kissing you gently and softly. After a few 5 minutes you two parted and immediately you hide your face in his chest. He laughed at your action and placed a kiss on your head.

“I have to go back sweetie.. ill text you or call you later okay? I love you..”he smiled and walked away waving at you. You only looked at him blushing and waving back at him.

Day by day your relationship was great, amazing, he was lovely, caring, made food for you and had the best dates. But there were times when you two fought because of his work. You knew it would be difficult but its more difficult when you see him on TV flirting with other women because thats his charm. You miss him so much, everyday. And the calls and text are less and less each day since they got even more famous. Going to USA, Japan, Europe and winning the billboard for the first time. You began to feel lonely in your home, you just wanted him to be there by your side. But even though distance is hard between a couple you knew he would never hurt you or chest on you. Besides his members wouldnt let him in any way.

4 years have passed already, four years of relationship, of good and bad moments. But you werent feeling good one day. You felt sick, your hair was falling constantly. You didnt know what was going on but you thought it was something you ate. So you didnt bother to go to a hospital. You told Jin and he immediately got home.

“Babe are you okay?? How do you feel?”he says softly.

“Im better.. but i still very sick..”you said softly..”can we cuddle? Ive missed you a lot... i feel lonely..”you said with tears and he hugged you.

“Im sorry... i know.. but bare with me babe.. im here.. imma do all i can to be here more often or bring you with me..”he says and you smiled softly.

You two cuddle until you fell asleep in his arms. He just admired you and brushed your hair when he noticed he had brought a lot of your hair in his hand. He was in shock. You were losing hair, this wasnt normal. Usually you dont lose that many hair when brushing it. He began to worry even more. He sighed and kissed your cheeks. “I love you..”he said softly..

“I love you too...”you said in your sleep and he giggled.

Three months have passed and you felt even more sick than ever. But you didnt tell anything to Jin. You just pretended to be okay for him. Today you were gonna have a date with him. He sent you a box with all you should wear today. You were very excited so you prepared yourself for today, doing makeup, hair and everything. Jin knocked on the door and you went to open it up and there he was with a bouquet of sunflowers and chocolate. He looked so good in that pink button up shirt and black pants.

“Hello beautiful. How are you today? You look stunning..”he smirked and gave you the flowers.

You giggled and smiled”Thank you handsome. You look amazing, that color suits you..”you gave him a quick peck on the lips.

“Mm thanks. Shall we go princess?”he smiled and you nodded.

Both of you went out of the house. It was a very romantic and planned date, he was like a prince and taking good care of you. You loved him and that wasnt a doubt. You two had so much fun talking about everything, eating, drinking and suddenly the other members, your family and his got there. You frowned and looked at him quickly. He was on his knees and you gasped placing your hands on your mouth to hide it. You didnt expect this, you teared up and he began saying:

“Y/N.. we met in middle school in the cafeteria. You sat by my side and talked to me. You were my first friend and only one since then. We fell in love and began our love story 4 years ago. I cant imagine living without you. I promis to take care of you, to make you happy and be there for you always.. i knew from that start that i wanted to be with you forever. That you are the perfect one for me even thought we dont always match or get along in something’s. I love you and.. Y/N would you marry me?”he said wit the biggest smile. You looked at everyone around with tears in your eyes, you looked at him again and nodded non stop. He stood up placed the ring on your finger and hugged you. “I love you princess..” he said and you started crying even harder.

“Also babe.. i want to plan our wedding for the next month. I want to be your husband immediately. “He smiled and you laughed.

“Hahaha really? I mean if you want me that badly why not do it in two weeks?” You said joking

“Thats not bad! Lets do it! I already have things that i want. Lets discuss it later okay?” He said.

You blinked a few times and smiled.”okay..”

He kissed you again softly and you responded. After the dinner and date, he took you home and he made love to you.

Two weeks have passed and today was the day were you and Jin were getting married, everything was planned, it was gonna look beautiful and it was a simple wedding. The most expensive of it all would be the honeymoon and both of your dresses and his. Your friends were helping you get ready. One did your makeup, the other your hair, other helped you put on the dress. You looked perfect, like a princess thats gonna get married to her prince charming. You smiled widely looking at yourself in the mirror.. You still felt very sick but you did all you could to be fine today in your wedding. The girls told you to go since it was time and off you go.

Everything went perfectly and now you were at the reception to dance, eat and have a good time. You were in your second dress, more light and easy to walk. You were looking at Jin dancing with his band mates. You smiled widely but suddenly you felt dizzy, sick, headache, and you passed out.

Jin noticed quickly and went to you. Trying to wake you up but nothing helped. He quickly carried you and went off to the hospital.

*FlashBack to one week ago*

You went to the doctor to get a check up. Because you were still very sick and your hair lose was worrying you too. So you went, waited to be checked. When you went inside and they checked you, gave you a paper to do all the exams and test. You went that same day.. and in a matter of 30 minutes your resulta were available. You went to the doctor again and he gave you the news that you had Cancer. You looked at the doctor in shock at first, but you slowly came to realize what he just said. Tears started to fall, silence among the office and you cried hard. But the worst thing is that the cancer is very advanced and its taking over your body. You cried even more. You stood up and went out, you paid and got to your car. You cried non stop on the way home and you didnt tell anything to Jin. You want him to be happy, you would do anything in your hands for him..

*End of the Flashback*

When he arrived at the hospital, they immediately took you. They did blood test and everything. After a few hours they came to him and said the news that you had terminal cancer. He kneeled down and cried hysterically. His band mates came in that exact moment and hugged him.

“Jin Hyung.. whats wrong?”said JK

“Tell us.. we are here for you..” said RM..

“Y/N...Y/N has terminal cancer “ he cried out loud and they all looked at each other.

“You need to be strong for her Jin hyung..she needs you now more than ever..”Suga said and brushed his hair.

“Suga is right Hyung” said Taehyung.”Its gonna be tough.. but we are with you too Hyung..”he said softly.

Jin stopped crying loud and tried to calm down. He nodded and hugged them.”Thank you guys.. thank you..” he sat down and sighed hiding his face crying again in silence. He felt useless as if he didnt do anything for you. He wasnt home often, the fights, he remembered them all. “i need to do something for her.. i feel like an idiot..i need to show her how much i love her!..”he said softly to his band mates. They all looked at one another and RM smiled.

“I know what you can do.. write your feelings.. what you want to let her know..”RM said softly

“Yeah! Thats a great idea..”said suga”I can help you with the beat.”

Jin looked at them and thought about it” i think is the best way to express my feelings for her.. i love my wife.. i love her.. i.. cant live without her..”he says softly”She is everything to me.. she has been in all stages of my life.. “

Suddenly the doctors came and spoke to Jin. They told him everything and let him go see you. He quickly went and opened the door to see you with the oxygen tubes on your nose, your hair still on fleak, he approached to you and kissed your forehead. “Jagi im here.. i love you..”he said..

You opened your eyes and looked at him smiling softly”Hey honey.. i love you..more.. im sorry i didnt say anything to you..”you teared up and he hugged you.

“Shh.. its okay.. its okay.. im gonna make you more happy.. im gonna do everything for you.. we will go through this until the end.. i love you so much “he kissed you softly and you kissed back with tears. You really love this man very much. He is everything to you.

After two weeks you were released from the hospital. You guys went to have a dinner, then to the park and went home.

“Honey... i want to watch a movie and cuddle up with you...”you said with a low voice.

“What do you want to watch? Something romantic or something funny?”he smiled at you.

“Hmm... lets watch comedy. I want to hear your laughter. “You said with a smile and his heart broke. Why? Because he forgot how to laugh ever since he found out about your cancer. He wasnt himself and he would only pleased you. He looked at you and nodded

“Okay Jagi! Go to bed and ill be right there with the movie alright?”he went to look up a movie and you went to the bedroom. After a few minutes he went up and saw you on the bed all dressed up in a sexy silk short bed dress. He smiled widely. “Wow.. baby... you look amazing!”he hugged you tight and kissed your forehead.”so sexy.. you know how much that dress drives me crazy..”he smirk and you blushed.

“Haha.. it wasnt my intention..or maybe it was” you winked and he laughed hard. You smiled and hugged him. You loved and missed his laughter.. “i like it when you laugh... i know that you are trying to make everything for me.. to make me more happy.. to be with me and pleased me... but lets be happy together.. lets be pleased together.. yeah? It makes me happy seeing you laugh.. lets go normal again? Yeah? Lets just live the moment. Can you do that for me?”you grabbed his face and looked at him with teary eyes and he looked at you with teary eyes too. Jin just nodded and kissed you softly. But that kissed became a needy one and hungry. That ended up in bed making love to one another.

The next morning he had to work so he left you a letter, he made you breakfast and did everything before work. When he got to the company the guys were waiting for him.

“Jin hyung!”said suga very cutely for some reason.

“Oh.. hey Suga.. whats up?”he said relaxed.

“I fixed a bit the song you composed and its great. I cried so much just so you know”he smiled with his gummy smile.

“Really?? Wow.. thank you!”said Jin happy.

“Now you need to go to RM”suga said and Jin did as he said. He knocked on the door of his studio.

“Namjoon? Are you here? Its me..” said Jin

“Jin Hyung! Come on in.. Jhope just picked the beat and now we need to record” Rm looked at him.”You okay?”

“Yeah im okay. And thank you for helping me.”he smiled .

“Anything for you and your wife Hyung”Rm smiled”Now lets work”he giggled and Jin nodded.

They began the recording process, they record plenty more to make sure he was doing it right. Then the hearing if its okay, fixing mistakes, etc. After 9hr working and doing everything they finished it and it was done and good to go. He smiled and went home. When he arrived you were in the bathroom vomiting blood. You didnt felt good. Your cancer was killing you, it was advancing.

“Jagi? Are you here love?”he said softly. You didnt respond. “Baby? “He ran quickly to your bedroom, you werent there, he went to the bathroom and there you were sitting, looking all weak and pale. He bit his lips trying not to cry and sat down by your side rubbing your back.”You okay? Need to go to the hospital?”he said softly and you said no with your head. He picked you up and hugged you. He walked to the bedroom and laid you there softly, then he cuddle you up to his chest.”Jagi... i want you to hear me.. can you?”he saids with a smile and kissed your forehead. You just nodded weakly.

He began to sing softly.

‘We're too different

You know that well

We aren't able to embrace

Each other's realities

 "I don't understand"

"I don't remember"

Words that will always just be words

I don't expect them

 I love you (x5)

To your warm touch...

 I love you, I love you

I love you, I love you

I love you, I love you

 To your warm touch...

 Please hold me

Please catch me��

You were crying softly and he felt your tear since the were falling on to his shirt.

“Dont cry Jagi.. i love you”he kissed you softly and you responded the same way. You loved this man so much. He was everything to you and you are everything to him. After a while both of you went to sleep. It was a peaceful night until you got up and ran to the bathroom. You were feeling more ill than ever and began to vomit and fell on the floor of the bathroom. “Agh... mm...”you tried to get up but you didnt have strength, hou felt your vision getting more blurry and blurry until you passed out. Jin immediately heard something hit the floor and ran to the bathroom. There you were all weak and unconscious. He panicked but tried to relax. He picked you up and soon he was driving to the hospital crying non stop. He texted his band mates. He got to the hospital and they took you. He just sat in the waiting room and cried in silence. The boys got there as soon as possible, saw him and hugged him tight, all of them and Jin broke crying out loud. “I dont want to lose her... i cant lose her please...”he said with a crack on his voice.

“Shhh she will get better hyung”said Jimin.

“Try to stay calm okay?”said Namjoon.

After a few hours the doctors came and talked to Jin. You were in a room but they said you wont make it. He froze and bit his lips. They had you in intensive care but you were no longer in the body. You were not gonna wake up. He immediately went to see you. He grabbed you hand softly, kissed it, kiss your forehead and your lips.”Jagi... i dont know if youll hear me but.. here i go.. i love you with all my heart... the day i first met you was.. like magic.. i fell in love with you in an instant. Youre my everything... with you i have it all.. without you. Im empty... i love you so damn much.. if i lose you ill lose my mind but... dont fight if you cant no more... if you have to leave me do it.. i know youll take care of me from heaven.. i know youll be watching me and supporting me.. i.”he broke crying but tried to finish” im so glad i met you and have you as my wife.. youre the love of my life forever and ever. Ill miss you..”he kissed your lips softly and when he finished kissing you.... you passed away. He could hear the machines going blank. He bit his lips hard and cried softly, he hugged you one last time. He went out the room and the boys were there outside.

“Hyung! What happened?”said Jungkook.

“She... she is not with us anymore..she passed.. away..”his lips trembled and tears were falling down his cheeks. Everyone gasped and their eyes went wide. They immediately hugged him.

Months have passed since you passed away, Jin was okay but he was missing his other part: you. They were on tour and nobody knew you passes away. Only Bighit employees and the guys. He misses you so much. When they went up stage and sang all of the song in this new comeback and stuff. They got to the end were they all thank and say how much they love ARMY. Bow it was Seokjins turn.

“Armyyyyyyyyyy!!!”he said with a smile. “Aaaaarrrrmyyyyyyy”he said playing.” Um.. i wanted to thank all of you and the staff for everything. Army is the reason why i wake up.. and keep going.. because..”he started to tear up.” As you all knew i got married.. and my Jagi is everything to me... i loved that woman with all my heart. But for the past few months ago she got ill and.. she died three month ago..”his voiced cracked and cried in silent ,the others cried too.”she was everything to me.. i feel empty but.. im glad im here today in front of you Army.. and sing this special song that.. is dedicated to my wife..”he smiled with tears and he began to sing ‘I love you’.

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed! 😭💜

[killerqueenjoy]

99 Question Tag

okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG

1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED

I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night

2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS

my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect

3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???

4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE

NO SORRY IM BORING

5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES

heck yeah, but for random shit

6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM

nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES

a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic

8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES

nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it

9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES

not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside

10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE

i find many things annoying

11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK

only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored

12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS

the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no

13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS

refer to question 12

14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin

15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS

nope, the idea weirds me out

16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK

none, this week and in general

17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED

one person and a long yet smol doggo size

18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK

Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that

19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK

HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK

SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE

but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)

20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS

dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)

21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE

uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk

22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME

idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality

23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER

I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant

24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN

depends on the nug

25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

How dare you assume i only have one favourite

tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks

26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE

borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies

27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU

ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that

28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT

nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible

29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE

nahh m8

30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER

this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)

31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR

omg no

32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET

not old enough to drive!

33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS

my parents never have for as long as i can remember

34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH

cheese because I am actually John Deacon

35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST

MUFFINS!!!!

36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME

school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol

37)ARE YOU LAZY

YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF

38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN

we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!

39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared

40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK

English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!

41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

nee

42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS

i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip

43)ARE YOU STUBBORN

to an extent

44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN

I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs

45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS

I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)

46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

no, im afraid of falling in general tho

47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR

My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)

48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER

i perform

49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR

well theres not exactly much space

50)EVER USED A GUN

nope

51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER

not sure

52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY

most are but thats why i like them

53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL

we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!

54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI

not i good sir

55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE

never had one, it doesnt appeal to me

56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID

a vet

57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

i am a ghost

58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING

not that i remember

59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY

yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms

60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS

i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood

61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE

i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists

62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED

a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set

63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT

ive unfortunately never been to a concert before

64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART

ive never seen any of these stores in my country

65)NIKE OR ADIDAS

i own neither

66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS

neither

67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Peanuts because thats my doggos name!

68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN

no sorry

69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS

i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)

70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING

probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!

71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE

yep

72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE

never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious

73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY

i think so

74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS

nope

75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER

i wish

76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE

my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it

77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE

no, too busy fangirling

78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT

oof a long list

Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few

79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW

refer to question 63

80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA

both

81)TEA OR COFFEE

coffee

82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES

sugar cookies

83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL

i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either

84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE

im doing it right now

85)ARE YOU PATIENT

eh

86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING

I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig

87)EVER WON A CONTEST

yep, a couple of reading contests

88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY

nope, not planning on it

89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES

dont like olives rip

90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET

i can knit!

in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)

91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE

lounge or study/library

92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

i guess, its not on my goal list tho

93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED

no

94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH

currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)

95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY

nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch

96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS

nope

97)DO YOU WANT KIDS

kind of undecided, but i do want more pets

98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR

Dark Blue

99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW

my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)

@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards

[looksalikes]

wed sept 8, 3:56 pm

hey! long time no type.

i’m like a new person now! i’ve never felt better, im unkillable! for real, maybe i’ve have had better times in my life environmentally, but inside i feel limitless! i hateeee writing but im pushing myself to articulate what brought me to this new level of thinking.

so to start off, i lied to pretty much everyone around me about what actually happened (as it all changed in one night). basically like i said before, i hate writing. i have no really gift with the pen and being autistic made it all the more frustrating to be restrained with such a limiting way to express myself. yet curiosity i majored in a writing intensive field. anyways i was given an assignment to write about Snake Eyes and Henry Golding and just overall talking about asians in strong american roles etc etc no biggie right? ive done shit like this before so many times and it was only like 500 words. 

so clearly the pressure i put on myself and my perfectionist standard led to a weird spiral, i was on my FIFTH DRAFT and i was losing it. i hated writing, i tried calling my friends but it was too late for ppl to answer. i started crying, i felt pathetic, how was it taking me DAYS to write a simple piece? i didnt join a creative agency for me to do the same thing i was trying to get away from! i tried calling my family but my mom was asleep and my dad was exhausted from the time change and yelled at me to hang up and promised to help me in the morning. but that wasn't enough for me, I just HAD to submit it by midnight for some reason. i started breaking down. being an intern at 25 and still feeling this stuck made me feel like every little thing reflected widely on me as a person. i tried talking to hana, but she was done with these breakdowns and refused to help. i was sobbing, i didn’t want to write even though i didnt write that much, i didnt want to try. i started banging my head on the window. im pretty sure i slightly concussed cuz i was feeling really hazy for the rest of the night after the final slam. i climbed on to the fire escape and started to look over the edge.

heres where i start lying.

the fire escape is old and the railing snapped and the pressure of my body made me almost fall over, but i was able to hang on. in those 3 secs i felt my life flash before my eyes and i realized i wasn't gonna die over this! i pushed myself up and got out, feeling reborn and my mind clear of any anxiety i had ever felt before.

this was all a lie. the reality was much more pathetic.

its pretty obvious how i’ve been struggling with suicidal thought my whole life, and i while looking over the ledge i just stop crying instantly. i could end it all. i looked around, no one would see, maybe they wouldn't even find out as a mangled body is easily mistaken as a homeless person everyday. i could maybe survive by landing for the trash. i imagined me broken body waiting as roaches climbed over me for a couple hours until someone called 911. but why was i fantasying if i survived, why would i jump if i wanted to make it up? i just wanted to be victimized, i wanted someone to see how much i was mentally going through and be validated. but no one was going to do that. not even if it was someone just a couple feet away from me like hana. she heard me screaming and crying on the ledge, she gave up i think a long time ago. they were just empty threats. and she was right.

so maybe this shouldn't be an empty threat. should i finally write a suicide note, i should go in and write a suicide note. but if did that, i would just be putting off this decision for next month until i felt this bad again. i should do it. i shold just jump. im done. im tired. i dont want to try anymore. im pathetic, i feel this exhausted despite how little work i did. im lazy, untalented and tired. i can now rest. i can be free from this guilt forever. no one was going to save me. no one is going to pity me anymore. i was alone and o

and then. i just didn’t.

I didn’t have to feel bad because im good as i am. if i was gonna die, then nothing would really matter, so i could just CHOOSE not to feel bad and i just wouldn't feel bad. who cares? if im gonna live to die, i might as well feel that way. that sounded more fatalistic than i intended but what i mean is that, as long as i was willing to work hard i things i felt passionate for and only hold kind intentions, how can i be wrong?

“I can do no wrong”. my friend Chris told me that when i brought him to this weird party. i apologized to him in that moment, saying if he felt uncomfortable we could leave or try to include him more. i hate feeling left out at parties. but he told me that he was fine and “he could do no wrong”, that it wasn't where he went but who he was that determined how he felt. and how can i do wrong being the way i am?

i left the fire escape, smoked a bit of weed, and decide to sleep for the few hours i had before i had to go into work. i felt like a new person. whatever i wanted i can manifest. i had a whole new attitude to work. im not gonna work on things i dont care about anymore. im gonna do what i want. i never realized how much i was limiting myself until now! how much my work ethic was tied to my self-esteem and perception of the world. i dont live for others anymore. i will live like no one is watching and perform like everyone is watching.

sometimes i admit, it feels like im forcing this persona, that im just hyping myself up into this and ill run out of gas soon. but until them im not gonna relent with this positive thinking. 

because if i do, i know what will happen. and besides, i think i may like this new me.

do i feel like ill never be suicidal again? no, those thoughts and behaviors will be something i will live with for the rest of my life. even if they are a bit quieter for now. if anything i owe it to that for my newfound way of thinking. because i cant die if i knew i didnt at least give it my all.

[blondewolfhd]

* 199 - 1?? >:3c i fucked up on sending the last one

199: I was born in:One of the worst states ever 198: I am really: Strange?197: My cellphone company is: AT&T196: My eye color is: Blue 195: My shoe size is: 6194: My ring size is: ??193: My height is: 5′5192: I am allergic to: SO MANY The one’s I remember on the top of my head are mites, black walnut, pine, and timothy grass (I’m allergic to like 6 grasses jc)191: My 1st car was: Don’t have one190: My 1st job was: Don’t have one yet189: Last book you read: Can’t remember 188: My bed is: so soft I love but I need to get two slats because they broke187: My pet: I have so many! I love all of them! There’s Ralph, Groucho, Axel, Paisley, Psycho, Josh, Pepper, Cole, Hamilton, Philip, Meowgi, Wrex, Wolf, Nikka, Ivypool, and Crowfeather. I’m fostering three animals. Two cats and one puppy!186: My best friend: S I R185: My favorite shampoo is: TRESemme Smooth and Silky 184: Xbox or ps3: PS3183: Piggy banks are: Good I guess182: In my pockets: I don’t have any I’m wearing Kenna’s pants181: On my calendar: So many birthdays (I have a bad memory)180: Marriage is: Alright179: Spongebob can: ??178: My mom: Ugh177: The last three songs I bought were? I download I don’t have any money 176: Last YouTube video watched: 1000 ways to die175: How many cousins do you have? I don’t talk to any of them ever.174: Do you have any siblings? Two both are half siblings but I never talk to one of them173: Are your parents divorced? No 172: Are you taller than your mom? Yeah171: Do you play an instrument? Not good170: What did you do yesterday? Hung with A.Ham while I recovered from my wisdom teeth surgery[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: No I believe it isn’t love but attraction at first sight You can’t really love someone until you get to know them 168: Luck: Not really167: Fate: Not sure166: Yourself: Nope165: Aliens: Yea164: Heaven: Agnostic163: Hell: ^162: God:^161: Horoscopes: Iffy160: Soul mates: Iffy159: Ghosts: Yet again iffy 158: Gay Marriage: Of freaking course 157: War: Unfortunately we can’t have peace in these times because of people like trump 156: Orbs:??155: Magic: ??[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Never been high so152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: No pref150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla 145: Night or Day: Night144: Oranges or Apples: Apples143: Curly or Straight hair: No pref142: McDonalds or Burger King: Mocha Frappe141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: White140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: Flip flops138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet 137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke136: Hillary or Obama: Obama135: Burried or cremated: Burried 134: Singing or Dancing: Singing133: Coach or Chanel: ??132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:??131: Small town or Big city: Small town130: Wal-Mart or Target: No pref129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Rami Malek128: Manicure or Pedicure: I hate either127: East Coast or West Coast: Idk 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: We don’t really celebrate birthdays125: Chocolate or Flowers: flowers124: Disney or Six Flags: Six Flags123: Yankees or Red Sox: Neither[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: It should be avoided but the orange idiot is probably gonna throw us into one soon 121: George Bush: Jet fuel can’t melt steel beammsss 120: Gay Marriage: !00% Great 10/10 119: The presidential election: I hate trump 118: Abortion: Should be 100% percent legal  Pro choice 117: MySpace: I used to have one116: Reality TV: I like Jeremy Kyle115: Parents: sigh 114: Back stabbers: Kill em 113: Ebay: Never used it112: Facebook: I hate most of the people who post on it 111: Work: Depends I really love working with animals110: My Neighbors: sigh109: Gas Prices: bad108: Designer Clothes: Never wear them 107: College: Good but expensive106: Sports: nah105: My family: oh god104: The future: OH GOd[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Kenna the other day I think?102: Last time you ate: Couple minutes ago 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Can’t remember 100: Cried in front of someone: When I got my wisdom teeth out I didn’t know what happened and I was afraid99: Went to a movie theater: Long time ago98: Took a vacation: Long time ago 97: Swam in a pool: About a month ago 96: Changed a diaper: Back in 4th grade I think?95: Got my nails done: When I was like 894: Went to a wedding: Never93: Broke a bone: I think my finger was the last on and that was over the summer92: Got a peircing: Idk how old I was but I was young91: Broke the law: Too many 90: Texted: About 12[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Toss up between you and Kenna88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Ralph87: The last movie I saw: Can’t remember86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Reading that letter Boiii85: The thing im not looking forward to: School or these stitches falling out84: People call me: A mistake™83: The most difficult thing to do is: ?? Talk about feelings??82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Never81: My zodiac sign is: Taurus80: The first person i talked to today was: You79: First time you had a crush: We don’t talk about my first actual crush 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Idk 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: You know76: Right now I am talking to: Technically you 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Veterinarian 74: I have/will get a job: Idk73: Tomorrow: Stop the pain in my mouth 72: Today: Hanging out with you 71: Next Summer: Idk70: Next Weekend: Idk 69: I have these pets: I have mix breed dogs, purebred pugs, cats, and rabbits68: The worst sound in the world: So many but pained screams67: The person that makes me cry the most is: idk 66: People that make you happy: Ralph 65: Last time I cried: When I got my wisdom teeth removed 64: My friends are: Great™63: My computer is: trash 62: My School: Trash 61: My Car: What one60: I lose all respect for people who: The list goes on and on (Don’t be Max and youre pretty much set)59: The movie I cried at was:So many but Marley and Me came to mind first 58: Your hair color is: Blonde57: TV shows you watch: Teen Wolf and Jeremy Kyle56: Favorite web site: Tumblr55: Your dream vacation: SNOW54: The worst pain I was ever in was: The puss pocket in my mouth 53: How do you like your steak cooked: Medium52: My room is: cold51: My favorite celebrity is: Jeremy Kyle50: Where would you like to be: Snow49: Do you want children: Nah48: Ever been in love: Sigh47: Who’s your best friend: Si r46: More guy friends or girl friends: I’m not sure45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Helping animals44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Ralph 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Yea42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nah 41: Have you pre-named your children: I did a long time ago 40: Last person I got mad at: Idk 39: I would like to move to: Snow 38: I wish I was a professional: Veterinarian [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Hershey36: Vehicle: Lexus35: President: Obama 34: State visited: DC33: Cellphone provider: AT&T32: Athlete: Don’t have one31: Actor: Rami Malek30: Actress: Holland Roden29: Singer: Jon Bellion 28: Band: BMTH27: Clothing store: Hot topic26: Grocery store: ??25: TV show: Teen Wolf24: Movie: The Guardian 23: Website: ??22: Animal: Wolf21: Theme park: Six Flags20: Holiday: Don’t really have one anymore 19: Sport to watch: Lacrosse 18: Sport to play: none17: Magazine: none16: Book: ??15: Day of the week: Saturday 14: Beach: None13: Concert attended: Haven’t12: Thing to cook: Mac n Cheese 11: Food: Mac n Cheese10: Restaurant: Steak N Shake9: Radio station: ??8: Yankee candle scent: ??7: Perfume:??6: Flower: I’m not sure5: Color: Blue, Purple, and green 4: Talk show host: Jeremy Kyle 3: Comedian: Idk 2: Dog breed: German Shepherd1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Si

[berserker-official]

Then allow me to be the one who does it. -ahem- Answer all 200 questions, please.

YOU

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now?

199: I was born in: A hospital in Colorado

198: I am really: Really tired

197: My cellphone company is: Cricket

196: My eye color is: Blue

195: My shoe size is: I think 12?

194: My ring size is: I have no fucking idea

193: My height is: 6′2

192: I am allergic to: Nothing that I know of

191: My 1st car was: I share a Jeep with the family

190: My 1st job was: A pizza man at Little Caesars in Texas

189: Last book you read: All You Need is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka

188: My bed is: Small.

187: My pet: She a good girl and like 6 different breeds

186: My best friend: I have too many

185: My favorite shampoo is: Whatever’s cheap

184: Xbox or ps3: Both but I’m a sony man at heart

183: Piggy banks are: Neat

182: In my pockets: I don’t have pockets right now

181: On my calendar: Nothing special today but I have the Danganronpa V3 release date on it in a couple of weeks

180: Marriage is: Neat

179: Spongebob can: go steppin on the beach

178: My mom: is neat but I’m mad at her right now

177: The last three songs I bought were?

Silence by Marshmello & Khalid, OTONA HIT PARADE and Emotional Literacy by Bradio

176: Last YouTube video watched: Oney Plays D. Premonition WITH FRIENDS - EP 6 - Minesweeper175: How many cousins do you have? I honestly don’t know. My parents don’t really keep in touch with immediate family. My mom is an only child and my dad doesn’t talk to her sister.174: Do you have any siblings? I have a little brother who’s a fucking loser going for an astrophysics degree.

173: Are your parents divorced? Nope

172: Are you taller than your mom? By two feet.

171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play percussion in middle school

170: What did you do yesterday? A bunch of stencil work[ I Believe In ] (I’ve already answered these but here u go)169: Love at first sight: Not really168: Luck: Heart of the Cards167: Fate: No166: Yourself: Nope165: Aliens: Yeah164: Heaven: Not really163: Hell: Not really162: God: Not really161: Horoscopes: No but I look at them randomly160: Soul mates: Yeah159: Ghosts: No but not yet158: Gay Marriage: HELL YEAH157: War: No it bad156: Orbs: I BELIEVE IN THE ORBS155: Magic: No but not yet[ This or That ] (I’ve answered some of these already but here u go)154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs153: Drunk or High: Neither152: Phone or Online: Online151: Red heads or Black haired: Black hair but I don’t really care?150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blonde cuz I’m ready to have fun149: Hot or cold: Cold148: Summer or winter: Winter147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate145: Night or Day: Night144: Oranges or Apples: Apples143: Curly or Straight hair: Straight hair142: McDonalds or Burger King: Doesn’t matter141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk chocolate140: Mac or PC: PC139: Flip flops or high heals: I hate showing off my feet and I actually wore high heels once so HIGH HEELS138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I’m sweet and poor so that one137: Coke or Pepsi: Neither one I actually don’t like carbonated drinks136: Hillary or Obama: Thanks obama135: Burried or cremated: Cremated it’s better for the earth134: Singing or Dancing: Singing even I fuckin suck133: Coach or Chanel: I have no idea132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Neither?131: Small town or Big city: Big City130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller128: Manicure or Pedicure: Whichever is the hand one127: East Coast or West Coast: I’m in the middle so doesn’t matter126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas cuz my birthday is in the summer so I’m dying of heat.125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate124: Disney or Six Flags: Neither cuz going outside sucks123: Yankees or Red Sox: Cubs cuz they finally won the world series[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: It bad121: George Bush: He did Nine Eleven120: Gay Marriage: It’s great why the fuck do people think it’s bad119: The presidential election: In general I used to not care but NOW GO FUCKING VOTE118: Abortion: I think it’s important117: MySpace: I never had a myspace but bring back the grunge emo shit116: Reality TV: It’s obviously fake so115: Parents: Parents are good without them I would not be here (But if they’re abusive fuck them)114: Back stabbers: Drop them faster than you can say bye bitch113: Ebay: I’ve only used it once and it was good so I say sure112: Facebook: Needs to chill the fuck out111: Work: Work is good you get money and gain retail horror stories110: My Neighbors: One of them is a drunk so meh but The Best Neighbor is a guy that used to build his own motorcycles but has heart problems so he had to sell them but he’s a chill guy and I love him109: Gas Prices: TOO DAMN HIGH108: Designer Clothes: Too rich for my blood107: College: A good choice for your future but it’s not for everybody106: Sports: The only sport I care about is MLG Gaming105: My family: They cool but highly problematic104: The future: I’m at a big turning point right now so[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: Last Saturday?102: Last time you ate: A couple hours ago101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Last week I think I hung out with a friend and we watched Willow100: Cried in front of someone: Months probably99: Went to a movie theater: I went to see Spider-Man Homecoming when it came out but next month I’m going to see Jigsaw with @warlord-official so that’s fun98: Took a vacation: I don’t know? When I got out of school for summer vacation?97: Swam in a pool: 2011?96: Changed a diaper: I actually never changed a diaper95: Got my nails done: Never94: Went to a wedding: Two years ago93: Broke a bone: Never92: Got a peircing: Sophmore year I got my lip pierced so...2008?91: Broke the law: I think I ran a red light once so a couple years ago?90: Texted: A day?[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Me cuz I do the dumbest shit88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: My dog87: The last movie I saw: I was watching the Rugrats Movie on Netflix a little while ago86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Danganronpa V3 and then Jigsaw in October and the Ixalan MTG set at the end of the month.85: The thing im not looking forward to: The next time I have to go to jury duty84: People call me: by my name83: The most difficult thing to do is: Be an adult82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: Never81: My zodiac sign is: Leo80: The first person i talked to today was: My dad79: First time you had a crush: Probably in elementary school? She was partially deaf and my teacher told me to help her out for the year and we got pretty close78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: My friends cuz I gotta let my baggage out77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: I don’t remember cuz all my friends think the same way76: Right now I am talking to: No one75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I wanna do photography maybe teaching74: I have/will get a job: When I graduate73: Tomorrow: I gotta get up early for school72: Today: I did a bunch of school readings71: Next Summer: I’m gonna die from heat again70: Next Weekend: Hopefully I can hang with friends69: I have these pets: A good dog68: The worst sound in the world: When a racist opens their mouth67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Roman from the FH team cuz he’s NOT FUCKING NERFING CENT66: People that make you happy: All my friends65: Last time I cried: Just now boi we goin in hard64: My friends are: Good boys and girls63: My computer is: I have an 5 year old ASUS laptop that I should try to upgrade cuz it runs Overwatch poorly62: My School: MSU Denver61: My Car: I share a Jeep with the family60: I lose all respect for people who: Treat my friends like they’re subhuman59: The movie I cried at was: Death Note cuz it was fucking awful58: Your hair color is: Dirty blonde57: TV shows you watch: The only stuff on now that I’m watching is Rick and Morty and AHS: Cult56: Favorite web site: Tumblr even though this hellsite is full of sin55: Your dream vacation: Japan?54: The worst pain I was ever in was: My wisdom teeth were pretty obnoxious53: How do you like your steak cooked: Rare52: My room is: Very messy and small51: My favorite celebrity is: Gal Gadot50: Where would you like to be: Anywhere not stressed out49: Do you want children: Only if I have an S/O that wants kids48: Ever been in love: Yeh47: Who’s your best friend: I have too many to count but @warlord-official is one of them46: More guy friends or girl friends: I think it’s a tie?45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my friends are happy or I eat a good burger44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My friend that’s in Japan I miss her43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Nope42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Nope41: Have you pre-named your children: I did when I was dating someone and thought we were pretty serious but then I found out she was cheating on me so not anymore40: Last person I got mad at: My mom39: I would like to move to: Japan or somewhere that is cool all the time like Washington maybe38: I wish I was a professional: Photographer[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Pay Day36: Vehicle: Reasonably priced car is one of the new Jeeps. Super expensive car would be an Aston Martin or Maserati35: President: Obama34: State visited: Georgia was nice33: Cellphone provider: Cricket cuz it’s the only one I’ve had32: Athlete: John Elway31: Actor: Chris Evans30: Actress: Gal Gadot29: Singer: Kesha28: Band: Bradio or Starset27: Clothing store: DXL cuz it’s the only store that sells clothes for Big Boys26: Grocery store: Safeway25: TV show: Hannibal or Future Diary. Rick and Morty is always good24: Movie: Saw, Pacific Rim, Back to the Future, or Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift23: Website: Tumle dot hell22: Animal: Dog?21: Theme park: NONE OF EM20: Holiday: Halloween19: Sport to watch: idk18: Sport to play: I used to do tennis so that one17: Magazine: Shonen Jump or Game Informer16: Book: The Disaster Artist15: Day of the week: Friday14: Beach: I’ve never been to a beach13: Concert attended: Either PVRIS or A Perfect Circle with @warlord-official12: Thing to cook: It’s like a mix of pizza and spaghetti11: Food: A nice burger10: Restaurant: I like Smashburger9: Radio station: I don’t remember the one that plays rock music here but that one8: Yankee candle scent: Something about rain?7: Perfume: There was a vanilla one that I thought smelled nice a long time ago6: Flower: idk?5: Color: a deep blue4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres?3: Comedian: Bo Burnham2: Dog breed: Mutt1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I hope so   

[steven-blanco]

1-200!!! I can't choose just a few so answer them all please (unless there's ones you don't want to answer!)

200: My crush’s name is: I have two crushes. His name is Franco and her name’s Montse.199: I was born in: January 30th198: I am really: Funny197: My cellphone company is: Telmex196: My eye color is: Hazel195: My shoe size is: I think in USA would be 8 or 8 ½194: My ring size is: No clue193: My height is: 5’ 11"192: I am allergic to: Dust191: My 1st car was: None190: My 1st job was: I’ve did a couple things for money but I don’t consider them as jobs.189: Last book you read: It’s actually a play. The White Devil by John Webster.188: My bed is: my husband and wife.187: My pet: are my life. 186: My best friend: I have a lot of best friends tbh.185: My favorite shampoo is: Pantene184: Xbox or ps3: PS3183: Piggy banks are: really useful 182: In my pockets: my phone181: On my calendar: Waiting for fall.180: Marriage is: kinda risky but beautiful.179: Spongebob can: just end?178: My mom: Chaotic neutral.177: The last three songs I bought were? 1. Love of the Loveless by The Eels.2. Italian Leather Sofa by Cake.3. Seven Hours With A Backseat Driver by Gotye.176: Last YouTube video watched: Smiles and Tears - Ocarina cover. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kDSKLzmHhg175: How many cousins do you have? Jeez, a lot. 174: Do you have any siblings? Yep. I’m the little one.173: Are your parents divorced? Wait. 172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes.171: Do you play an instrument? I don’t, sadly.170: What did you do yesterday? Not hoping I was dead. It was a good day.[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: Yes.168: Luck: Of course.167: Fate: Sure.166: Yourself: Indeed.165: Aliens: Sí.164: Heaven: I hope. 163: Hell: I guess.162: God: Yes.161: Horoscopes: Kinda.160: Soul mates: Absolutely159: Ghosts: I live with one.158: Gay Marriage: Sure.157: War: Combo breaker! No. 156: Orbs: I have a few photos of them.  155: Magic: 100% Yes!

[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Kisses.153: Drunk or High: High.152: Phone or Online: Phone.151: Red heads or Black haired: Red heads ❤️150: Blondes or Brunettes: I don’t care.149: Hot or cold: Cold.148: Summer or winter: Winter.147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: I love both!145: Night or Day: Night.144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges.143: Curly or Straight hair: I love my curly hair. 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds.141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Don’t do this to me!140: Mac or PC: PC. 139: Flip flops or high heals: High heals are fun but flip flops are comfortable. I’ll take flip flops.138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor. 137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke.136: Hillary or Obama: Obama.135: Burried or cremated: Cremated.134: Singing or Dancing: What!? I can’t decide.133: Coach or Chanel: This is so american.132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: This is so american x2.131: Small town or Big city: Big city.130: Wal-Mart or Target: We don’t have Target in Mexico. Wal-Mart. 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I can tolerate Ben Stiller a little bit more. 128: Manicure or Pedicure: I really need a manicure right now. 127: East Coast or West Coast: East Coast?…126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas doesn’t make me feel old.125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers. 124: Disney or Six Flags: I’ve only been in Six Flags.123: Yankees or Red Sox: Yankees, I guess. [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Without sense.121: George Bush: Did 9/11120: Gay Marriage: Still waiting for being legal in my whole country. Sadly, it’s never gonna happen.119: The presidential election: Do we still think democracy it’s real? 118: Abortion: Agree. But just as a final resource. 117: MySpace: Never had one. 116: Reality TV: Some are entertained but when people always talks about them and nothing else it really annoys me. 115: Parents: I love mine. 114: Back stabbers: Watch out.113: Ebay: Useful but watch out again.112: Facebook: It was fun when I was 14. Now I barely post something.111: Work: Do something that you love. Then it’s not work.110: My Neighbors: Someones are really hot. 109: Gas Prices: I’m going to walk all my life.108: Designer Clothes: I wish I can fit on that.107: College: Good experience until now.106: Sports: I love doing sports.105: My family: Fucked up in a humorous way.104: The future: I’m terrified tbh.[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: 10 minutes ago.102: Last time you ate: I just had a snack.101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: Yesterday.100: Cried in front of someone: Two months ago.99: Went to a movie theater: Four months ago.98: Took a vacation: Can’t remember.97: Swam in a pool: Two years ago.96: Changed a diaper: Never.95: Got my nails done: Like two years ago too. 94: Went to a wedding: Can’t remember. It’s been a while.93: Broke a bone: I’m not sure if I was in 1st or 2nd grade.92: Got a peircing: Never.91: Broke the law: Four months ago.90: Texted: 20 minutes ago. [ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: Rick and Morty88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: Security.87: The last movie I saw: I re-watched Sympathy for Lady Vengeance86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Being an actor.85: The thing im not looking forward to: Being rich or famous. 84: People call me: Steven, Svenson, Child face. 83: The most difficult thing to do is: Staying quiet.82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: No.81: My zodiac sign is: Aquarius.80: The first person i talked to today was: My dad.79: First time you had a crush: I was eight. 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Myself.77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: My acting teacher. I love him. 76: Right now I am talking to: My nephews. 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Have a lot of fun.74: I have/will get a job: when I finish college.73: Tomorrow: I’m going to relax. My fridays are always cool. 72: Today: I’m going to suffer. I have a lot of things to do and here I’m… procrastinating. As always. 71: Next Summer: Wasting my time without guilt.70: Next Weekend: A play to do. 69: I have these pets: Dogs.68: The worst sound in the world: Alarms.67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Selma fucking Jezkova. 66: People that make you happy: Family and friends. 65: Last time I cried: Last week.64: My friends are: fun hoes.63: My computer is: dead. I’ve being using my brothers Mac. 62: My School: Is ok.61: My Car: Doesn’t exist.60: I lose all respect for people who: doesn’t respect other people.59: The movie I cried at was: Only Yesterday.58: Your hair color is: Dark brown.57: TV shows you watch: Mostly cartoons. 56: Favorite web site: Youtube.55: Your dream vacation: Anywhere with a pool.54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when I broke my left foot.53: How do you like your steak cooked: Well done.52: My room is: Always clean.51: My favorite celebrity is: Hayden Panettiere 50: Where would you like to be: 2001.49: Do you want children: Yes.48: Ever been in love: Yes.47: Who’s your best friend: I have a lot. It will be pretty unfair if I miss someone.46: More guy friends or girl friends: All my life I’ve been surrounded by women.45: One thing that makes you feel great is: working out.44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My friend Luck. 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Kinda. 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: Yes. 41: Have you pre-named your children: OF COURSE. 40: Last person I got mad at: a classmate. He can be an irresponsable pain in the ass.39: I would like to move to: Canada or Japan. 38: I wish I was a professional: musician.[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Pecositas.36: Vehicle: None. 35: President: None.34: State visited: My family visited a lot of states when I was a baby. I can’t remember anything. 33: Cellphone provider: I don’t care.32: Athlete: I don’t know any. 31: Actor: Gary Oldman.30: Actress: Susan Sarandon.29: Singer: Emilíana Torrini. 28: Band: Gorillaz.27: Clothing store: None.26: Grocery store: A market. 25: TV show: Daria. 24: Movie: The Fifth Element.23: Website: YouTube.22: Animal: Fox.21: Theme park: Only know Six Flags.20: Holiday: Halloween/Día de Muertos.19: Sport to watch: Golf.18: Sport to play: Baseball.17: Magazine: Quo.16: Book: Momo.15: Day of the week: Saturday.14: Beach: Meh.13: Concert attended: Someone take me to a concert, because I’ve never attended any. 12: Thing to cook: Any dessert. 11: Food: It’s really fun cooking japanese food. 10: Restaurant: A mexican one. 9: Radio station: Any with 80′s music.8: Yankee candle scent: What?7: Perfume: Any.6: Flower: Sunflower5: Color: Blue4: Talk show host: Stephen Colbert.3: Comedian: Wanda Sykes, Anjelah Johnson and Bo Burnham.2: Dog breed: Pug or Schnauzer.1: Did you answer all these truthfully? I think I did. 

[cryinggameff]

Fifty

Randi

We were days away from the wedding and it was getting more and more real. My anxiety levels were starting to go up to. In terms of planning everything was going great. My dress had gotten in a week ago, Cayden had his suit and the wedding bands had been adjusted as well. All that was good, but my emotions were all over the place.

I was getting ready in front of my mirror in the closet. Cayden came in while I was brushing my hair.

"You going out?" He asked.

"I'm going to the salon. Jada gon do my hair. Gotta get some tracks in my hair for the wedding."

"Aight. Well I gotta talk to you," he said. I looked at him through the mirror.

"Yes?" I said uneasily.

"So I gotta shipment coming in from Cali, and there's somethings that gotta be handled on that end." He said. I turned to look at him now. "So I wanna go down there and deal with it myself."

"When would you be back?" I asked.

"The day before the wedding..." he said. I shook my head desperately.

"No," I said.

"What you mean no?" He chuckled. I looked at him wondering how he could seriously be standing in front of me saying that right now and laughing when I said no.

"You want to leave me days before the wedding and go out of the state," I said, my eyes tearing up. "When you know I'm a wreck right now. I won't be able to keep it together without you. I'm about to loose my freaking mind. I need you here to keep me sane. I can't even believe you're seriously saying this to me-" I tripped over a sob.

"Ok,ok, nevermind, i won't go," he said, scared of my breakdown.

"Good," I sniffled.

"You good?" He asked, looking at me wearily.

"I get worked up," I sighed, rubbing my forehead. "You the only one who knows how to calm me down when my anxiety kicks in."

"I didn't know you was that stressed about it. I thought it was just nerves."

"I can keep it together when I see you because I am excited to be with you forever, but when you gone i get worked up about the idea of marriage," I explained.

"You just can't get enough of me huh?" He said.

"I really don't know why I like you," I mumbled, turning back to the mirror and wiping my tears. "You always making me cry."

"I feel bad, i didn't think you'd cry," he chuckled, coming to wrap his arms around my waist. He kissed my neck.

"Playing with my emotions and shit," I mumbled, reapplying my mascara that had started running.

The salon was honestly my pride and joy. When I walked in there and saw people getting their hair done, nails done, I felt accomplished. I believed all along it would be successful, but it was one thing to belive it then another to see it. It made all the investing of time and money worth it.

"Hey girl," Jada said when I walked through the door.

"Hi," I said, going to sit in her chair.

"How you doing baby?" She asked.

"I'm doing good," I nodded.

"Let's get you looking right now," she said, turning the chair around so that I was facing the mirror. I put my bag down. She took my hair out of the bun it was in and gave it a quick brush.

"I'm excited,"she said. "I've never been a bridesmaid before, and the dresses are beautiful." My girls were all wearing long, gold dresses that worked well with wedding decor of the church and the reception banquet as well.

"I couldn't have done any of it without you guys. You helped me find my dress and your dresses. I owe Jenny a lot too. She really made everything come together. I mean I'm paying her but I still feel like I owe her," I said.

"She's really nice," she agreed. She started cornrowing my hair. "Did you decide curly or straight hair?"

"Cay said curly," I laughed. "So curly I guess."

"Curly is sexy, I see why he likes it."

"I can do sexy," I said.

"Speaking of sexy. We found a club for you Bachelorette party. I requested VIP seating so it's unlimited drinks, plus strippers."

"I thought we decided we weren't gonna do all that," I said.

"No, you decided. I didn't say nothing," she laughed. I sighed.

"This should be interesting."

When I got home Cayden was by the door about to leave just as I stepped inside.

"I like your hair," he said, looking me over.

"Thanks. How long you going out for? We're going out for dinner with our parents remember."

"I know, I'll be back soon. I gotta go talk to Ty. I'm gonna have him handle California. Also I gotta see Pat real quick and make a business proposal to him."

"Proposal about what?" I asked.

"Im gonna ask him if he wants to be in charge of the other warehouse. At least when I'm not there. Because I can't be 2 places at the same time," he said. I nodded.

"I agree. Alright I'll see you later then. I'll find you something to wear for dinner," i offered. He nodded and left out of the door.

****2 days later****

"Last day before the wedding," Cay murmured in my neck. It was early in the morning and he was spooning me from behind.

"These 2 months went by really fast," i said.

"Because we both been so busy. Hopefully things will slow down once we're married."

"I can't believe I have to change all my legal documents, you know how tedious that is," I complained. He chuckled.

"It's just your drivers license and passport," he said.

"Ya but there's papers I gotta fill out," I whined.

"Fine. How about I get you a new bag to make up for it," he offered.

"That could work," I smiled.

"Alright then."

"What kind of married couple do you think we'll be?" I asked, turning around so we were face to face.

"Crazy, just like we are now."

"You're probably right," I laughed.

"I don't think that old school thing gon work in this house," he chuckled.

"I kinda like old school though. The man should lead his family and provide for them and the wife holds things together. But the wife tells him what to do of course, we just gotta let Yall think you making the decision," I said, running my fingers through his short curls. He chuckled.

"Thank god I found myself a smart one I guess," he said. I smiled.

"So what are you and the guys doing tonight. Going to a strip club? I'm being forced to go to some club, VIP and all." I asked.

"Ty got some party bus thing planned. Which I assume involves strippers. Really I'm not tryna stay out all night."

"Me either. I need sleep, I can't have bags under my eyes on my wedding day."

"Well let's enjoy the afternoon together at least before we gotta split up. We won't see each other again until your walking down the aisle."

"Jesus. You're right."

"Go get ready and I'll take you out," he offered. I pecked his lips then got up to get dressed.

China came to pick me up around 9 o'clock and took me back to our old place so we could get ready.

"I don't even know what I'm wearing tonight, I only brought a few things for tonight. Then the wedding stuff is at my parent's house," I said as we walked through the front door.

"I already have a dress picked out for you. It's a real thirst trap it's great," she said, excited.

"Oh lord," I sighed. "Well let me get a quick shower before I get all beat."

I went upstairs to my room to prepare for a shower.

The club was packed when we got there because it was a Friday night. We got to the VIP area and I spotted Jenny as well as Cole who I'd both invited.

"You look hot girl," Jenny said, giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, you look stunning too," I said. Cole came to hug me.

"I can't believe I'm going to be in your wedding tomorrow. You all grown up," he said, ruffling me hair.

"I know, look at me adulting," I laughed.

"Are you nervous or excited?" He asked, leading me towards the bar.

"Both," I said truthfully.

"A couple of shots will calm your nerves." He had a very mischievous grin on his face and I already knew I was in for a wild night.

"Lord, OK let's do it," I giggled, accepting the shots the bartender slid towards us. We shot down one, then another, and another. As Cole said, for a few hours I wasn't nervous because I'd forgotten all about it.

Cayden

Randi and I had spent the day together just chilling. I took her to the beach to eat and walk around together for a bit before we went our separate ways. I wanted to distract her because I didn't want her thinking too much and getting all worked up about tomorrow.  To be honest deep down I was a bit scared she would dip on me tomorrow and leave me standing there, but I tried to push the thought out of my mind.

Before she left to go spend the night with her girls, I wanted to give her something.

"What is it?" She asked, sitting on the bed. I walked over to her and handed her the velvet box. She looked at me untrusting first. "It better not be overly expensive Cay, you already got me the ring."

"Just open it," I complained, sitting on the bed. She finally opened it and saw the pearl necklace inside.

"It's beautiful..."she said, in shock.

"It's from my mom really, she wore it on her wedding day, and so did her mom," I explained.

"I love it, and I'm honored your mom wanted me to have it. I'll wear it tomorrow." She wrapped her arms around my neck and held me tight. I rubbed her back.

"Im glad you like it," I smiled. I heard the banging at the door then.

"Damn, that's China," she sighed, "I have to go."

"Aight babe, have fun tonight," I encouraged with a chuckle.

"You, don't have too much fun," she narrowed her eyes at me as she removed her arms. "I know how your friends can be."

"I'll get home in one piece," I assured her.

"Good. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then..." she said, getting off the bed and grabbing her bag.

"Tomorrow," I nodded. She gave me a quick kiss before heading for the door.

The big, obnoxious party bus pulled up to the house about an hour after Randi left. Ty and a few of the guys were here but we were still waiting on some nights before we took off. We did some predrinking inside the house while we waited.

"I think all the niggas here, let's do this shit," he said.

We went outside and got inside the bus. The lights were dimmed, music was playing, and there was a thin layer of smoke. The bus was huge, fully decked with 3 stripper poles which were occupied by 3 ladies already.

"You tryna get me in trouble fam," I chuckled.

"Better enjoy it while you can," Pat said, handing me a very large blunt.

"We got that, we got some powder, whatever you feeling for," Sean, who had come down from Cali to be here, said. I shook my head.

"I don't do that no more, I'll stick to the natural stuff," I took a long drag.

The guys pulled out there stacks of bills and took to sticking them in the girls' panties and bras as the bus pulled out of the driveway and took to the streets. I was sitting in front of one of the poles, a Latina looking chick was dancing on it. She walked around the pole then made her way towards me.

"So your the man of the hour, im Draya" she smiled, nodding to her friends who also began to make their way over.

"Yes he is!" Ty hollered. "And I think he needs a lap dance to loosen him up." The other dudes whistled and cheered.

"Anything for you Papi," she said. The other two girls sat on either side of me, caressing my head and shit. Draya straddled me and suddenly her beasts were in my face.  "What do you like Papi?" She asked. I cleared my throat.

"Umm-" but Pat cut me off.

"Just give him the whole deal," he said. She nodded and began to move her hips on me.

The lap dance was an interesting experience and I was glad when it was over. I hadn't enjoyed it like I used to because nothing felt right about it. The only person's boobs I'd had in my face for 2 years were Randi's. Yes I went to the strip club with my niggas once in a while, but I always turned down lap dances. The worst part was the dance still left me hard despite my best efforts. Draya was pretty but, not my type.

I decided to stick to my blunt and henny because that was all I needed to have fun. At some point somebody made lean as well which I had but sort of regretted because it really had me gone.

"Is this the last time we gon be kicking it like this?" Ty asked in all the noise.

"Hell nah cuh! I'm still gon be down with my niggas. Randi can't keep me from going out," I said confidently, even though it wasn't totally true.

"Fuck yeah," he took a hit from his blunt. "Was afraid you were gonna change up on me."

"We always go be family, even when things start changing."

"I appreciate that fam. I'm happy for you," he nodded and I nodded too.

I got into the house around 3 am. The guys were crashing in the spare rooms and I went upstairs to me and Randi's room. I took my clothes off and got in the bed with my boxers before grabbing my phone. I typed her name and her number came up so I pressed call. I wasn't even sure she was awake.

"Hey baby," she mumbled, sounding as smashed as me. I chuckled.

"Hey Lil mama," I said, my voice horse.

"Everyone made it home alive?" She asked.

"We all made it. How bout your crew?"

"China over did it, but she's okay now. She's laying beside me right now," she said with a yawn.

"I was just calling to check on you, you can sleep if you want," I said.

"No, I wanna talk to you."

"Alright then," I smiled.

"So, did you get a lap dance? Because I did and it was extremely awkward," she confessed.

"You had some niggas junk in your face?" I asked. I couldn't imagine.

"Yes, and it was truly disturbing," she giggled. "What happened to you?"

"I had an uncomfortable lap dance. Now nothing will ever compare to the pole dancing you did for me on my birthday," I chuckled remembering.

"I'm glad I could be the best at least," she yawned again.

"Go get some sleep." I told her.

"Wait," she said.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just didn't want you to hang up yet..." I grinned, I loved it when she was clingy for a nigga, it made me feel special.

"Its a big day tomorrow, you need some rest. I'll see you tomorrow baby, ," I assured her.

"See you tomorrow Cay," she made air kissing sounds.

"Thank you babe," I laughed.

"No problem."

[evildeen]

Prompt: Steve finally works up the courage to ask the man he loves to marry him in an unconventional but romantic way. The day before their wedding, a tragic event takes Sam away from Steve.

💞 Sam🌟 Wilson💞: I just got a delivery of cookies💞 Sam🌟 Wilson💞: What kind of weird ass gesture of love is this steve💞 Sam🌟 Wilson💞: ITS 2:51AMSteve Rogers: I knew you’d be up!Steve Rogers: Happy Birthday Sam!Steve Rogers: ❤️🎁🎂🎈💞 Sam🌟 Wilson💞: Steve…….💞 Sam🌟 Wilson💞: Are you tryin to kill me?Steve Rogers: What?💞 Sam🌟 Wilson💞: I’m allergic to macadamia nuts

Steve almost dropped his phone, gasped so loud he could have been a damsel in distress in a B horror film, and slapped his hand over his mouth. He called Sam.

Sam laughed as he picked up. “You’re so gullible, man! I told you two days ago macadamia nut cookies are my favorite.”

“Sam, don’t do that.”

“What? Fragile old man heart can’t take a joke?”

“Don’t get started with that. Just because you’re Captain America doesn’t mean you can call me old.”

Sam snorted and Steve imagined Sam dropping his head with that smile on his face like he was a little embarrassed. Steve’s chest swelled with a mix of adoration and that pang of pain when you miss somebody even though they’ve only been gone a couple days.

“I love you, Steve,” came Sam’s voice from the other end, as if reading his thoughts.

Steve shut his eyes, let out and inaudible sigh, and looked up at the ceiling of his apartment. “I love you too.” They said it the most when they were apart.

“Hey, I better g–” Sam said.

“Sam, when you get back–” Steve said at the same time.

“What?”

“Do you wanna get married?”

“Yes.”

There’s not even a second of hesitation, and the way Sam’s voice so emphatically replied sent a chill down Steve’s spine. He felt hot and cold all at once, and a big stupid grin crossed his face.

“I really do, Steve. We’ll talk more later, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Save a cookie for me. Bye, Sam.”

—

Bucky Barnes 🍔:: no can do stevaroniBucky Barnes 🍔:: i cant be ur best manSteve Rogers: Oh. Okay.Steve Rogers: Why not?Bucky Barnes 🍔:: sam already asked

Steve Rogers: YOU SNIPED MY BEST MAN!💞 Sam🌟 Wilson💞: 😏 😘

Natasha 😎 Romanoff: i think im busy that daySteve Rogers: But I told you two months ago we were getting married on November 19th!Natasha 😎 Romanoff: that’s the day IKEA is delivering my new couch and I have to be thereSteve Rogers: [typing]Natasha 😎 Romanoff: IM KIDDING ROGERS of course I’ll be your best man ;)

“I was gonna say,” Steve said when he met up with Nat for coffee later, “that had better be a really fuckin’ nice couch that you’d miss my wedding.”

—

“I thought you decided on the red tie,” Bucky said from his perch on the end of the bed. Steve kept fussing with his tie in the mirror.

“But the blue tie… Sam says I look good in blue…”

“Blue suit,” Bucky reminded him.

“Right, but…”

“What about no tie?” Bucky asked, knowing full well it would annoy Steve.

“It’s my wedding day. I’m wearing a damn tie.”

Bucky smirked and Steve caught his eye in the mirror. Steve rolled his eyes and yanked the blue tie off, setting it on the vanity in front of him. Then there was a knock on the door, or at least it was supposed to be a knock, but it sounded more like somebody kicking the door with the front of their shoe.

Bucky shuffled over to the door and peered through the peep hole. “What’s the password?”

“I brought drinks,” said Natasha from the other side.

“Ding ding ding!” Bucky let Natasha into the hotel room. She had a paper cup holder with Starbucks drinks for them. Steve took his vanilla latte (the ‘fanciest’ drink he’d allow himself), Bucky got his iced coffee, and Nat got herself a tea. Steve took one sip and nearly choked. “What’s–in this?”

“I added a little… something-something,” Natasha said with the tiniest proud smile. “I’m getting the bachelor party started early.”

Steve’s phone buzzed on the countertop and Steve went to get it while Nat and Bucky went over the plans for the rest of the day (brunch, last minute shopping for the wedding, lunch even though brunch should have counted, probably nap time, then the rooftop bachelor party). “Hey, Sam,” said Steve.

Bucky glanced over because he saw Steve’s face go from delighted to devastated in less than a second. He reached out and touched Nat on the wrist and she stopped mid-sentence, then they quietly left the room together.

“Sam–it’s okay–we already got the license, you know, it’s just–a ceremony. We’re married. You have to go, it’s–don’t cry.” Steve’s voice broke just as Bucky and Nat shut the door. They crashed back against the door and mirrored each other’s stance with folded arms. Neither of them could look at each other.

“Shit,” Bucky said finally.

“I’m gonna call the venue, see if they can reschedule. Can you start calling the guests?”

“Sure. Yeah.” Bucky felt sick. “I… yeah. Hold off on calling that venue.”

“What?”

—

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Steve said as Nat held the door for him to enter the ballroom. “It’s not right without Sam here.”

“They couldn’t cancel the reservation, so we might as well try and have some fun. Everyone we invited can still make it, and you shouldn’t be alone right now. It’s like an extended bachelor party.”

“We’re missing a bachelor…” Steve balled his fists at his sides. Couldn’t even say Sam’s name without wanting to burst into tears. Nat bit down on her lip and nudged Steve with her elbow.

“I’ll get you a drink,” she said, even though they both knew it wouldn’t make a difference.

Guests started to arrive, each a little somber, and Steve couldn’t let himself feel anything but worry for Sam. The worst part was that Sam had to go on a mission and that meant danger and–

Nat shoved a glass of champagne in his hand. The party helped get his mind off of things, he supposed, and people were dancing to the live band playing old standards. “Holding up?” she asked.

“I’m fine. Just a little anxious to hear back from Sam–that he’s okay.”

Nat looked over Steve’s shoulders and smiled. “Why don’t… you ask him?”

Steve stared at Nat like she was growing a second head, then she flicked her gaze toward the doors. The world seemed to slow down as Steve turned around. Everything else faded into the background when he saw who had arrived, and like an idiot, Steve shouted: “Sam!”

Several guests heard Steve and immediately turned their attention on the big, blonde idiot that unabashedly tripped over about seven chairs (how the hell was this guy Captain America for so long?) to reach his fiancé. Sam wore a light gray suit and with the bright lights surrounding him in the entryway Steve had to touch him to know he was real.

Sam barely caught Steve as he threw himself into his arms, holding him in a tight embrace. Steve pressed his face into Sam’s neck and breathed in all of Sam–the familiar arc of his back, the softness of his skin, the easy shift of his weight to one leg. “You made it,” Steve choked out.

“I couldn’t miss our wedding, Steve. I just couldn’t.”

“But the mission–”

“Bucky is taking care of it.”

Sam was crying, and so was Steve, and neither of them gave a shit that Nat was recording this.

Steve could have started crying all over again, but he didn’t, and instead he let Nat take Sam away so they could have a mini dress rehearsal. The guests situated themselves into two groups with a middle aisle, and the band played Sam down the aisle with Steve watching through barely contained tears. Sam read his vows–which he said he wrote on the quinjet ride in–and Steve realized he forgot his vows, so he said something stupid about how he met Sam while running in DC.

Then with a final oh, shit from Natasha, they all realized Barnes had the rings.

Sam and Steve could barely contain their laughter, which was half-giggling and half-sobbing. It was decided they were definitely still happily married, and they could just get their rings later.

“So, wait,” Nat said when they were all eating cake later. “Rogers-Wilson?” Wilson-Rogers?”

Sam and Steve looked at each other. “Rogson,” said Sam.

“Ehhh. Wilgers,” Steve said, shrugging one shoulder.

Nat checked her phone. “Barnes says you have to name your firstborn after him.”

“James Buchanan Wilgers.” Steve lifted his glass.

“To James Buchanan Wilgers,” said Sam, rolling his eyes, and they toasted to the theoretical child with a truly heinous name.

Eventually Sam convinced Steve to dance with him, which turned out just about as disastrous as everybody thought it would. They ended the night with a slow dance, and Steve couldn’t have been happier to have his husband in his arms while the band played Glenn Miller.

“This is corny,” Sam whispered at him.

“Let me have this!”

“All right, all right.” Sam leaned in and their foreheads touched. “At least you know how to dance like this, old man.”

Steve folded in his lips and, for once, the term of endearment made him blush. “I love you, too.”