#from the books hi clay burke

[fazgoo-connoiseur-1987]

he is so normal about his coworker i promise

[springonmytraptillicomeback]

Could you tell me about Clay please?!

YES YES YES!!!

Okay. Clay Burke, Hurricane Utah police chief, yadda yadda we know that from the books. Clay is actually pretty normal. Kind and friendly. He’s like if your took your average Joe and gave him ADHD, internalized homophobia, and gay thoughts. He’s also not that smart- reason for why he likes Will and Henry for their intelligence. He’s not like a dumb dumb idiot, he just isn’t great at math, or science, or solving problems. And that’s why he became a cop :)

Henry and Clay both grew up in hurricane, but they weren’t really friends until their 20’s, and Clay’s around 4ish-5ish years older. Clay thinks Henry is really cool causes he’s smart and gives loves of good advice, and Henry likes Clay because Clay is a pretty normal person and Henry needs to feel like he’s a normal person too

Henry and William meet in college, and Henry introduces Will to Clay. More on their dynamic. Clay thinks Both Henry and William are cool cause they’re smart and run a super successful business (and also Henry’s really strong and handsome and William’s really theatrical and pretty and he’s faggy for both of them)

Clay has a kid, Carlton, and ex-wife (cause none of them can keep their wives), Betty. They divorced when Carlton was around 15.

He sometimes goes by the pizzeria on his break when he’s bored n shit

Also he and Will banged

And so did he and Henry, but I haven’t talk about that yet. It’s basically the same as William but this time with a bit less alcohol. And also it was before William All three of them probably end up doing it at some point but I haven’t decided when or how

rehehehhe

[queergeneralpeople]

Clay Burke is getting more traction lately so headcannons time

- Cis, obviously. Bisexual but doesnt realize it until he literally has sex with Bill and Henry, at the same time.

- His marriage with Betty ends a lot sooner than in the books. Carlton is like five or six when they officially divorce

- Is completely wrapped around Henry's finger, same as Bill, but is a whole lot less aware if it. He's just kinda dumb in general, which contributes to Bill getting away with the murders.

- Regular missionary guy until, again, Bill and Henry. Also taking a chunk from @glitch-1983, he (secretly) loves be called puppy or just any sorta dog thing

- Actually meets Springtrap when visiting Henry while he's a security guard at Fazbear Frights. They have an almost civil conversation before Springtrap tries to kill him, or fuck him, or both.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Megan Gafford

Published: May 9, 2024

There is nothing wrong with constructing our own human meaning, without invoking a god. But the risks involved are captured by a pithy insight attributed to G.K. Chesterton: “When men stop believing in God they don't believe in nothing; they believe in anything.” As people have argued since at least 1790, when Edmund Burke published his Reflections on the Revolution in France, sapping society of traditional religious belief can prepare the way for new ideologies controlled by murderous totalitarians like Robespierre—and later, Stalin and Mao.

In “Our Search for Meaning and the Dangers of Possession,” Jungian analyst Lisa Marchiano details how a misplaced religious urge can derail both individuals and societies. She opens with variations on Chesterton’s theme:

“There is no such thing as not worshipping,” wrote novelist David Foster Wallace. “Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.” C.G. Jung would have wholeheartedly agreed. He posited that psychic life is motivated by a religious instinct as fundamental as any other, and that this instinct causes us to seek meaning. “The decisive question for man is: Is he related to something infinite or not?” Jung wrote in his autobiography. “That is the telling question of his life.” There is empirical evidence that backs up Jung’s idea of a religious instinct. Researchers have found that the less religious people are, the more likely they are to believe in UFOs. “The Western world is, in theory, becoming increasingly secular—but the religious mind remains active,” writes psychology professor Clay Routledge, in The New York Times. He notes that belief in aliens and UFOs appears to be associated with a need to find meaning.

As the famous UFO poster from The X-Files put it, “I want to believe.”

Maria Popova has described the atheist’s need for meaning as equal parts poetic and tragic:

How do we manufacture this feeling of meaning given we are the product of completely austere impersonal forces and we are transient and we will die and return our borrowed stardust to this cold universe that made it?

Popova is riffing off astronomer Carl Sagan’s famous pronouncement that, “The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the cosmos to know itself.” The original Sagan sentiment is all starry-eyed wonder; Popova’s variation emits the agony of a sentient being balking at mortality. For some of us, having an expiration date imbues the search for meaning with both urgency and desperation. How we choose to cope defines our lives.

Marchiano cautions that worshipping the wrong thing can have dire consequences. She quotes David Foster Wallace:

The compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship—be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles—is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. Traditional religions do have features that make them less likely to become devouring. They draw on ancient traditions that are often philosophically rich, and they are knitted into the social structure of our society.

Famous atheist Ayaan Hirsi Ali heeded this warning when she declared in November 2023 that she is now a Christian—an apostate from apostasy. The first reason she gave for converting to Christianity is her new-found conviction that liberal democratic civilisation depends on the legacy of the Judeo-Christian tradition:

That legacy consists of an elaborate set of ideas and institutions designed to safeguard human life, freedom, and dignity—from the nation-state and the rule of law to the institutions of science, health, and learning. As Tom Holland has shown in his marvelous book Dominion, all sorts of apparently secular freedoms—of the market, of conscience, and of the press—find their roots in Christianity. And so I have come to realize that [Bertrand] Russell and my atheist friends failed to see the wood for the trees. The wood is the civilization built on the Judeo-Christian tradition; it is the story of the West, warts and all. Russell’s critique of those contradictions in Christian doctrine is serious, but it is also too narrow in scope.

And the second reason Hirsi Ali gave is that she ultimately found life without any spiritual solace unendurable:

Atheism failed to answer a simple question: What is the meaning and purpose of life? Russell and other activist atheists believed that with the rejection of God, we would enter an age of reason and intelligent humanism. But the “God hole”—the void left by the retreat of the church—has merely been filled by a jumble of irrational, quasi-religious dogma.

Hirsi Ali concludes that “the erosion of our civilization will continue” without “the power of a unifying story.” And in this regard, she pronounces that, “Christianity has it all.” Notably absent from her road to Damascus moment is any profession of belief in the divinity of Jesus Christ—her religious urge is bound up with her distress at the dire consequences of worshipping the wrong thing.

Her friend Richard Dawkins has responded that atheists have many avenues for finding meaning and purpose. First among them, for the evolutionary biologist, is science:

Then there’s human love, there’s the beauty of a child, a tropical swim under the stars, a ravishing sunset, a Schubert quartet. There’s the art and literature of all the world. The warmth of an intimate embrace. But even if all such things leave you cold—and of course they don’t—even if you feel a ravenous need for more, what on Earth does that have to do with the truth claims of Christianity or any other religion? Even if life were intolerably bleak and empty—it isn’t, but even if it were—how could you, how could anyone, twist a need for solace into a belief in scriptural truth claims about the universe, simply because they make you feel good? Intelligent people don’t believe something because it comforts them. They believe it because, and only because, they have seen evidence that supports it. No, Ayaan, you are not a Christian, you are just a decent human being who mistakenly thinks you need a religion in order to remain so.

Marchiano challenges the strength of what Dawkins calls the “poetry of reality” with a series of case studies of individuals under the grip of “psychological possession,” a state in which “the conscious personality comes to identify with a powerful archetypal idea or image, becoming inflated and dangerously out [of] balance.” Those individuals either disregarded the poetry of reality or found it insufficient to satisfy their religious urges.

Marchiano’s first case study concerns Timothy Treadwell, whose life and death among Alaskan grizzly bears is documented in Werner Herzog’s 2005 film Grizzly Man. Treadwell was eaten alive by the bears in 2003. Marchiano writes:

Enthusiasm comes from the Greek meaning “possessed by God,” and Treadwell’s rapture as he describes grizzlies has a religious fervor. … Treadwell developed a distorted sense of mission, believing that his presence in Katmai was necessary to protect the bears from poachers. Protecting bears was his “calling in life,” and he became convinced that he had been singled out to do this work. “I’m the only protection for these animals,” he states emphatically in the film. In fact, there is no evidence that the bears in Katmai were under any threat from poaching. Nevertheless, the sense of mission Treadwell felt in relation to the bears gave him a sense of a special destiny. Bears carry an undeniably numinous energy and have forever been associated with the divine in various traditions. Treadwell had indeed made contact with the infinite. However, he lacked any structure to ground these experiences.

Like Treadwell, the ground-breaking primatologist Jane Goodall lived among the mighty creatures she studied. Defying the scientific community’s norms, Goodall gave the chimpanzees names instead of numbers, and described them in human-like terms, often attributing their behaviours to emotional states and ascribing to them a theory of mind. This was considered insufficiently objective. Her habit of socialising and making physical contact with the apes is also considered improper today.

But unlike Treadwell, Goodall did not become “possessed.” Far from developing delusions of intimacy with the chimpanzees in Tanzania’s Gombe National Park, her familiarity taught her how readily they could become violent.

Goodall discovered that chimps are not vegetarian, as had been assumed, but hunt other animals for their meat. She observed a war break out between different chimp factions that dragged on for four years. After a particularly violent chimp assaulted her and almost broke her neck in 1989 (towards the end of her thirty years among the animals), Goodall began travelling through their territory with two bodyguards.

Whereas Treadwell’s psychological possession blinded him to the danger posed by grizzly bears, Goodall retained a lifelong fondness for chimpanzees while fully comprehending their capacity for cruelty.

Her greatest discovery was that chimps could fashion tools—an ability previously believed to be a unique, defining feature of humanity. Goodall showed that chimpanzees are more like humans than people had previously realised. Treadwell believed that grizzlies shared in his humanity (or that he shared in their bear-ness), but lacking Goodall’s ability to love animals as they are rather than as he wished them to be, his obsessive and unrequited love led to a foolish death.

So, was there something that inoculated Jane Goodall against psychological possession? If Marchiano is correct that traditional religious belief can be like a vaccine against “becoming inflated and dangerously out [of] balance,” then it is notable that Goodall professes belief in a higher power. In a 2021 interview, she claimed that “religion entered into me” at the age of 16, and: 

What I love today is how science and religion are coming together and more minds are seeing purpose behind the universe and intelligence. … We don’t live in only a materialistic world. Francis Collins drove home that in every single cell in your body there’s a code of several billion instructions. Could that be chance? No. There’s no actual reason why things should be the way they are, and chance mutations couldn’t possibly lead to the complexity of life on earth. This blurring between science and religion is happening more and more. Scientists are more willing to talk about it.

Dawkins would stridently disagree that the complexity of life on earth could not arise from what Popova called “austere impersonal forces.” Indeed, Goodall argues with Charles Darwin himself, who wrote in On the Origin of Species:

If it could be demonstrated that any complex organ existed, which could not possibly have been formed by numerous, successive, slight modifications, my theory would absolutely break down. But I can find no such case.

How curious that the scientist who discovered the kinship between humans and chimpanzees disagrees with the bedrock idea upon which the entire field of evolutionary biology is built: that the complexity of life on Earth results from an eons-long succession of tiny, incremental changes. Goodall uncovered a biological truth while denying a fundamental biological mechanism.

Darwin’s theories have long been at odds with religious belief. Could it be that by rejecting a fundamental aspect of evolution in order to safeguard her traditional religious belief, Goodall protected herself from psychological possession, thereby enabling her contribution to science?

Marchiano might find that argument compelling. She writes:

How do we worship without being eaten alive? A genuinely religious attitude in the psychological sense is an antidote to inflation. The word religion may come from the Latin religare, which means to bind fast, or place an obligation on. In contrast to puffed-up inflation, a religious attitude binds us to something larger, and puts upon us a sacred obligation to the infinite. An awareness of our dependence upon that which is larger breeds the humility without which wisdom is not possible. It reminds us that our ego is just a small part of us, and is dependent upon—and easily influenced by—irrational, unconscious forces that are beyond our full understanding.

If it is true that few people can safely satisfy their religious urge by simply appreciating the “poetry of reality,” then the pursuit of meaning and the pursuit of truth will sometimes be at odds. Or at least, humanity may come at truth obliquely, or embrace it only partially. Even as we appreciate how religion may safeguard against psychological possession, we should recognise the trade-off: we may have to sacrifice objective truth to the need for psychological or—for people like Hirsi Ali—social stability.

And yet, psychological stability is clearly necessary if we want to pursue truth. It is the difference between a Timothy Treadwell and a Jane Goodall. Some—perhaps many—people may only be able to discover certain truths (the violent behaviour of chimpanzees) by denying others (evolution by natural selection). Atheists will need to swallow that paradoxical and bitter pill. And yet, the religiously minded should not feel too pleased, either. Whatever protection their faith affords them has its limitations.

As Marchiano wisely notes, traditional religions can also become devouring. Conservative intellectual Jonah Goldberg agrees with both her argument and her caveat in his recent essay, “The Messianic Temptation”:

My theory of the case held that believing Christians and other traditional believers are partially immune to such heresies precisely because they don’t have holes in their souls to be filled up by secular idols. The space for God is filled by God. I still believe that. What I failed to fully account for is that the religious can fall for false idols and false prophets, too. After all, that’s the moral of the golden calf in the first place.

Goldberg describes how he once enjoyed poking fun at some American leftists for discussing Barack Obama in messianic terms—only to discover that many on the American right now talk about Trump delivering salvation. Goldberg recognizes that these are merely new incarnations of an old phenomenon:

At the beginning of the 20th century, champions of eugenics, nationalism, socialism, etc., claimed that Jesus was, variously, the first eugenicist, the first nationalist, the first socialist. Now Jesus is MAGA. It’s all very depressing. And annoying. But it isn’t really new. A New York Times correspondent covering the 1912 Progressive Party convention, described it as a “convention of fanatics.” Political speeches were interrupted by the singing of hymns and cries of “Amen!” “It was not a convention at all,” the Times reported. “It was an assemblage of religious enthusiasts. It was such a convention as Peter the Hermit held. It was a Methodist camp meeting done over into political terms.” The delegates sang “We Will Follow Jesus,” but with the name “Roosevelt” replacing Jesus. Roosevelt told the rapturous audience, “Our cause is based on the eternal principles of righteousness. … We stand at Armageddon, and we battle for the Lord.”

Sometimes people think they are serving their god, when they are really making their god serve a politician—a mere mortal in a famously corrupting line of work. Though they didn’t build their own temples from scratch, these people have rearranged the building blocks to incorporate a cause du jour. In such cases, traditional religious belief was an insufficient prophylactic against worshipping the wrong thing.

Nevertheless, Marchiano argues convincingly that traditional religion is one way that people can worship without being eaten alive, because it might inspire humility:

An awareness of our dependence upon that which is larger breeds the humility without which wisdom is not possible. It reminds us that our ego is just a small part of us, and is dependent upon—and easily influenced by—irrational, unconscious forces that are beyond our full understanding.

But Dawkins is right that a sense of wonder is a healthy outlet for atheists with a religious instinct. Scientists like him, as well as laypeople enthralled by what science teaches us, can find humility by studying the natural world. After all, Darwin’s theories were not just an affront to some religious doctrines but also to human pride. People didn’t much care for the idea that humanity was the result of eons of evolutionary nudges rather than divine decree. Believing that we are God’s special creation strokes our ego; believing that we fill an evolutionary niche, neither more nor less successfully than a house fly fills its position in the web of life, does not evoke pride.

Different types of people will be attracted to the theist and atheist options for combatting hubris and the lure of psychological possession. Likewise, there will always be some people who succumb to either the theist or atheist way of being eaten alive. Humility does seem to be the antidote to this, but unfortunately there is no universally guaranteed method for cultivating it.

==

I still wonder myself why I was immune to Critical Social Justice ideology when so many atheists got sucked into the woke cult.

[that-darn-clown]

y'know i just remembered something from the books. Clay Burke. technically a cop in the books...but i have another idea for him in the au:

Private Investigator.

looked it up, and apparently the answer to "do PIs work with cops or not?" is "well yes, but actually no."

like. they can work with cops if the situation is desperate enough, but they kinda...work outside of that, too. aren't tied down with the same restrictions and rules cops are. which can make cops see them as a problem.

he sorta Knows that it's William. the guy can claim that he has an alibi and that there were ways for other people to use his suit all he wants, but that doesn't change the fact that his claims are shaky at best.

if the actual cops won't take this seriously and get this fucker in jail?

then Clay will.

so he goes undercover. goes to work at the Freddy's locations under fake names: a nightguard named Timothy Danes in '84 (how he discovered the animatronics were haunted...considering they tried to kill him), a chef named Ivan Mudd in '87 (boy, the '87 Massacre was not helping William's case), and, finally, a janitor by the name of Braydon Clay in '93 (yeah, he was making it abundantly clear who he was at this point...as if William didn't already know).

his and Will's relationship is...vaguely homoerotic. but they mostly want to strangle each other.

originally, Fritz Sr. was the one who hired him...and then Bea's parents found out and asked for his help, too.

but uh...

there's a reason why Clay's involvement in this story seems to end in '93. i'll let you take a guess.

(I'm sorry it's just what came to mind first. I love this though)

[sals-corner]

Given that, according to FNaF1, a suspect was arrested and convicted for the MCI, I'm going to present a theory: In the games, Henry was arrested for William's crimes, but was later acquitted when someone leaked the blueprints for the Funtime Animatronics and Afton became the Most Wanted Man in Hurricane.

Thus why good ol' Billy hid out in the FNaF1 location during the FNaF3 minigames: He was hiding from the authorities, only to end up boarded up inside the secret backroom by someone or something after his springlock failure.

Henry being locked up for a while could be why he was so absent from most of the games and why he didn't bother to stop William.

But also, and I know people hate hearing this, in the book William did get arrested but there wasn't enough evidence to convict him, though Clay Burke was sure it was William who did it.

[allisonirish]

Just William: A FNAF AU FanFic

In an alternate storyline, teenager Elizabeth Afton struggles with her father's return from prison, nine years after the murder of her childhood friend Charlie Emily. Still struggling with grief and blaming her father for the death of Charlie, her little brother Evan, and three other children, Elizabeth will butt heads with not only WIlliam Afton, but also her mother and brother Michael. Has her father really changed or is it all just an act to get her to trust him before he strikes again?

Chapter 1

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of Child Murder, Grief, Incarcerated Parent

Word Count: 1,385

Disclaimer: This story does not follow Scott Cawthon's FNAF games or books. However many of the characters and events are the same or have been adapted. These characters do not belong to me, but the rearrangement of events and character adaptations are my own works.

I stared down our gravel driveway, my arms crossed in anger. I glance at my mother, her green eyes contain hope, nervousness, but no frustration. My younger brother, Michael, stands half hidden behind my mother, bouncing on his tippy toes with nervous energy. Michael is twelve, but he is immature for his age. His therapist says his mental development has slowed because of what happened, that acting younger is Michael's way of coping. I guess that's true, although I don't really believe that therapist mumbo jumbo. The first thing my therapist learned about me is I don't like to talk about my feelings. Albeit, he tried, convinced the Doctor in front of his name would impress me into sharing my deepest, darkest secrets. Eventually my mother decided it wasn't worth her good money for me to sit and brood for an hour.

My name is Elizabeth Annette Afton, I'm seventeen years old and I was cursed to bear the same dark hair and blue eyes as my father. How I wish I would have been born like my mother, with golden hair and emerald eyes. My youngest brother, Evan looked like her and even Michael has her beautiful smile. Only I was conceived under the unlucky star that made me resemble my father in every way.  If you have a good memory and my name sounds familiar to you, that's probably because you read it in the Hurricane Valley Journal, almost ten years ago. I remember the newspaper being left on our doorstep with big, bold, black words on the front page. 

Eight Year-Old Girl Murdered By Local Restaurant Owner William Afton

I'll never forget that day. Police were coming in and out of our house and my mother cried until her face was red and swollen and her eyes refused to produce more tears. Michael and I slept with her for weeks. He, still just a toddler, too scared to be alone, and I, unable to go into my room without staring at the remnants of splattered blood on the wall and floor. Eventually the red marks faded to black, but you could still see them for months. About a year after the "incident", my mother got my room repainted and carpeted. Sometimes I wonder if the stains are still showing and if one day a new family will come to live here and upon tearing up the carpet will wonder what those black stains are from. 

I see two police cruisers turn onto our road and my breath catches in my throat. I'm not ready for this. Are any of us though? My mother is trying to contain the visible tremors that course through her hands and Michael has retreated even farther behind her. My mother pulls one of my arms straight and grasps my hand in hers. Her palm is cold and sweaty and her fingers hold mine in a deathlike grip. I let my other hand fall to my side and clench into a fist. The cruisers pulled to a stop about twenty feet away from where we stood. My mother let go of my hand and stepped forward as the first officer ducked out of his car. 

"Good afternoon Mrs. Afton." Chief Burke shook my mother's hand and nodded respectfully. 

I've known Chief Clay Burke my whole life. He has a son named Carlton who's my age. We used to go to school together and he was a good friend of... a friend of mine when we were younger. I don't have many friends these days. Two state police officers emerged from the second car and opened the back passenger door. 

"I know this is going to be difficult for you Clara. People are going to talk and-."

"It's already been hard, Clay." My mother trembles. "The last nine years have been hard. People have already talked." She took a sharp, haggard breath. "What more can they say?" 

A tall figure slowly got out of the police vehicle. My mother looked up, her eyes frozen, light reflecting off the tears glistening in them. It was my father. The state officer began to speak, telling my father the conditions of his parole. Don't remove your ankle monitor except to shower. Don't leave the farm without notifying your parole officer. Return home at 9:00 PM.  But I didn't hear any of it. All I saw was my father, standing there, dark blue eyes flitting between my mother, Michael, and I. He was different than I remember, thinner, his cheekbones protruding sharply from his unshaven face. He was wearing an orange jumpsuit that said Utah State Prison on the front and white tennis shoes. His hair, that fell to his shoulders just as it used to, was greasy and unwashed. He came forward, his strides hesitant and uneven. For a moment, some part deep down inside of me was glad he was okay. That's just the part that remembers what it used to be like. The part that remembers the fun, jovial, laughing, and gentle man I called daddy. That is not the man who stands before me, the stranger, the inmate, the murderer.   Chief Burke stepped to the side, giving my mother a full view of her husband. 

"William," She choked.

"Clara," He returned, his lips twitching as if they wanted to turn up into a smile, but were unable.

How many times in the last nine years have I watched my mother's heart break over this man. What did she see in him?

"I missed you." He said, almost inaudibly. 

I'd almost forgotten about his British accent, forgotten he was from another country. When I was young, Grandma Elizabeth (my namesake) would send us Christmas presents from London. That was before she died. Mom flew all the way to England for her funeral and those were the first nights Michael and I had spent without her since our father was arrested. I was ten. Michael was five.

My mother just nodded, a lone tear making its way down her cheek.

Fury burned in my eyes. I had hated this man for a long time, but I was even more angry at my mother for bringing him back here and even shedding a single tear over him. I've never cried, not since the day he was arrested. Being numb is so much harder, but it's better than feeling all those raw, sick emotions stabbing your heart and making you sick. My stance stiffened as my father opened his arms and mother awkwardly stepped into them. After a moment of total silence they broke away from each other. My father's eyes lit up as he turned to Michael.

"Hello...Do you remember me?" 

Michael nodded briefly, holding on to the back of my mother's shirt for dear life. 

"You're my dad aren't you?" He blinked twice.

"No!" I wanted to scream. He's not our father! He's an intruder, a convict, a killer! 

"That's right." The man in the orange jumpsuit offered my brother his arms and Michael accepted them. He hugged the man with the same uneasy tension my mother had. As if hugging your father after nine years of not seeing him was the most natural, and yet the hardest thing to do. 

That's when he turned to me. 

"Lizzie, you're so grown up." 

I brought myself to look him in the face and the turbulent sea of his eyes met my raging ones. In those eyes I thought I saw my father, but lucky for me, I never trust just what's on the surface. My fists clenched so tight I could feel my knuckles whiten, my scowl deepened, and I felt my body give an enraged shake. In those eyes I saw one thing...Charlie. This was not a man, this was not my father. This was a monster! A monster named William Afton. He took a step toward me, arms open, but I dodged his embrace. I swiftly turned and marched back towards the house. Behind me I could hear my father give a sigh. No! Not my father, William. Even without looking I could feel William's defeat. The farther away from him I grew, the more resilient I became. No longer would he be my father, he was only William. And that is all I will ever know him as. 

[linus-wickworth]

August 2023 Reading Recap

I managed to squeeze in a total of 95 books for this month, which is much too long to not have under a read-more. But here's my total stats:

Total: 95 books and 1 short story. Oldest: The Tenant of Wildfell Hall (1848). Longest: Les Misérables (1463pg). Average Pages: 289. 64% were YA. 56% were read as e-book or audiobook. 56% were written by female authors. Rep: 28% queer, 35% mental health, 25% POC, 15% disability.

5 Stars:

Pedro & Daniel by Federico Erebia The Hero of Ages by Brandon Sanderson Negative Space by B. R. Yeagar Head Case by Sarah Aronson A List Of Cages by Robin Roe How It Feels to Float by Helena Fox A World Without You by Beth Revis The Inexplicable Logic of My Life by Benjamin Alire Sáenz Orbiting Jupiter by Gary D. Schmidt The Vanishing Place by Theresa Emminizer The Cost of Knowing by Brittney Morris A Death on the Wolf by G.M. Frazier

4.5 Stars:

Lost Girls by Ann Kelley Beauty of the Broken by Tawni Waters Honeybee by Craig Silvey Bang, Bang, You're Dead! by Narinder Dhami We Need to Do Something by Max Booth III We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver My Father's Scar by Michael Cart Phoenix Rising by Karen Hesse More Than This by Patrick Ness Born to Serve by Josephine Cox Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick Howl by Shaun David Hutchinson You Asked for Perfect by Laura Silverman

4 Stars:

The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte A Very, Very Bad Thing by Jeffery Self Double by Jenny Valentine Tattoo Atlas by Tim Floreen The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold Bridge of Clay by Markus Zusak The Escape by Hannah Jayne My Abandonment by Peter Rock Brother by Ania Ahlborn Counterfeit Son by Elaine Marie Alphin The Escape from Home by Avi Les Misérables by Victor Hugo Young Pioneers by Rose Wilder Lane Elantris by Brandon Sanderson Let's Call It a Doomsday by Katie Henry Raven Summer by David Almond The Emperor's Soul by Brandon Sanderson The Hole by Hye-Young Pyun The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain Pandemic by Yvonne Ventresca Ashfall by Mike Mullin

3.5 Stars:

10 Things I Can See from Here by Carrie Mac Lord of the Flies by William Golding Calvin by Martine Leavitt The Long Weekend by Savita Kalhan Complicit by Stephanie Kuehn Surviving Bear Island by Paul Greci Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli Rainbow Boys by Alex Sanchez

3 Stars:

They Never Came Home by Lois Duncan Five and the Stately Homes Gang by Claude Voilier Five Go On Television by Claude Voilier Five and the Golden Galleon by Claude Voilier Ten Mile River by Paul Griffin Five in Fancy Dress by Claude Voilier Pig Boy by J.C. Burke Five Versus the Black Mask by Claude Voilier The Meaning of Birds by Jaye Robin Brown Five and the Pink Pearls by Claude Voilier The Trouble With Half a Moon by Danette Vigilante I Am David by Anne Holm I Am The Cheese by Robert Cormier Five and the Secret of the Caves by Claude Voilier The Fear by Spencer Hamilton Five and the Z-Rays by Claude Voilier Hold Fast by Kevin Major The Disturbed Girl's Dictionary by NoNieqa Ramos Five and the Knights' Treasure by Claude Voilier

2.5 Stars:

The Rag and Bone Shop by Robert Cormier Five and the Mystery of the Emeralds by Claude Voilier Five and the Missing Cheetah by Claude Voilier Outside Looking In by James Lincoln Collier Tears of a Tiger by Sharon M. Draper The Hobbit by J. R. R Tolkien Too Soon for Jeff by Marilyn Reynolds Mine by Delilah S. Dawson Five And The Cavalier's Treasure by Claude Voilier Five and the Blue Bear Mystery by Claude Voilier Supermassive by Nina Rossing Five And The Strange Legacy by Claude Voilier

2 Stars:

The Island Keeper by Harry Mazer The Winter Children by Lulu Taylor 33 Snowfish by Adam Rapp Five and the Hijackers by Claude Voilier Let The Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist Paper Covers Rock by Jenny Hubbard The Story of King Arthur and his Knights by Howard Pyle

1.5 Stars:

Aliens in the Family by Margaret Mahy The Kingdom By The Sea by Robert Westall The Nightmarys by Dan Poblocki

[madfantom]

First art. Its for main zine. It fell to me to draw Carlton and Clay Burke (characters from the Fnaf book trilogy), but somehow combine them with the Fnaf SB them . So the chef of police came to check out the suspicious stuff, and his son is just having fun.

[shadowyvoidfreakoaf]

FNAF Book Theory

*Fazbear fright spoilers plus a little silver eyes spoilers*

Okay so I already posted this on my Wattpad but I have a theory that all of the stories are set in one town and that town is Hurricane that is the only town I have ever seen be related to FNAF and so many people use it such as I know there is a meme kind of music video gacha thing it's a Millie x Sarah and it is the first thing on YouTube when your search up that it says it on the front last known location cuz it's a missing thing for Sarah it's in another life and the location is Hurricane High School another example is Kyle Allen Music's on YouTube into the pit Oswald goes into I think what is a library and it says on the front Hurricane this may only be because that is the only town named given I think throughout the whole entire FNAF franchise but I know the games aren't related to the books or will there to tie in some loose ends but nobody ever said that both books series weren't tied together somehow and it will make sense because the doll from Silver eyes Ella is in the third book of Fazbear frights so clearly those two line up and it's most likely they said within the same town they could have sold the stuff because William was dead Elizabeth was dead Henry was dead Charlie was dead and then I doubt Sammy would take it because of the fact his mother probably never told him about his father or his sister she probably just said something along the lines of he left they divorced and he probably never questioned it further than that cuz I don't think a lot of people would and so it would probably go to I'd say probably Clay Burke or some of Charlie's other friends since she had no one else and also Jen, Aunt Jen is dad also so clearly she couldn't do anything so they probably did it do conserve her memory or something like that or they just didn't want to see it again like so many things happened to them they probably just sold it all which explains why Ella was at a garage sale and there were probably so many that some that they didn't know about weren't sold and they ended up doing their own thing because well they are dead kids probably and for my understanding Andrew it was in Fetch for a bit so that was that soul but he was keeping William alive to torture him and stuff like that and so people were trying to kill him or my understanding of what I've heard and it just wouldn't happen because of Andrew but there are certain phases that the town has probably been through like it probably broke a bit like some of the stores probably take place like as soon as they kind of sold them or maybe a few years such as Millie's story count the ways and he probably Freddy went insane and or wasn't he designed to like kill kids and kill people and he clearly has done it before cuz I remember something about him saying that he hasn't done that one before implying that he has done the other ones before and that I think some people weren't fun cuz it shows like the painless ways of dying instead of the very painful bloody gory ways to die and then the town kind of started to fall apart how many things were happening and I know that Sarah's is mentioned in the end so it was probably pretty new to the town of battle happening and it probably broke apart a bit and then that's when Oswald's story comes in is he describes the sound as broken apart it could have been that so many people kids were dying that they just decided to move away and it was just slowly falling apart to the point where it was just so broken that people started getting five from their jobs and all that I'm going to list this as a part 1 because I cannot talk any longer and I'll finish this later

[official-michael-afton]

The answers to this hell-post under the cut, I’m too lazy to fetch my books to find the specific page numbers but I WILL say which books these scenes are all in and a brief explanation on what’s going on

uh- general tw for... for Fazfrights. Just. Just the shit Fazfrights gets up to.

INTO THE PIT - “Spring bonnie pretended to be a kid’s father. Like- the animatronic. And it worked. Every adult believed that, yep that’s just his dad.” Basically, the Main Character, Oswald, finds out he can travel between the modern day and the 80s Freddy’s pizzeria through a supernatural ball pit. At one point, though, Oz’s dad gets dragged through and Spring Bonnie steps out in his place. Everyone else seems to treat Springbon as if he were just Oz’s dad, and only Oz seems to notice that his dad was replaced.

ROOM FOR ONE MORE - “Vore” Okay so this one’s a bit of a joke, but the main character, I forget his name but fuck that guy, keeps falling asleep while on night shift in a Sister Location-esque place, and while asleep, more and more Minireenas climb inside of him to just- live in him. It’s supposed to be body horror but I’ve read enough weird fetish fics that my alarm was raised towards the ending of this book.

TO BE BEAUTIFUL - “A girl’s necklace fell off and she turned into a bunch of bicycle parts as a result” So the main character, Sarah, has self image problems and basically strikes a deal with an animatronic to make her more “beautiful”. The animatronic, Eleanor, tells Sarah to wear a special necklace and tells her to NEVER take it off in exchange for her beauty. Every day, another piece of Sarah seems to become more physically attractive. One day, though, she trips and her necklace breaks off, and that’s when the illusion drops. Turns out Eleanor was actually stealing her body parts in the night, replacing them with junk(i specifically remember bicycle parts mentioned), and the necklace was the illusion tech that made her look “prettier”

SCATTER MADE THIS UP - “A kid was literally so distracted by the animatronics performing that he tripped, hit his head on the corner of an arcade table, and fuckin died right then and there” Idk man I just tried to come up with something that COULD happen but wasn’t crazy enough for you guys to be like “c’mon that can’t be real”... unfortunately some of you caught on that it was actually something that could happen therefore not absurd enough to be real XD

THE FOURTH CLOSET - “Charlie has a literal doll inside of her” So most of you know by this point that in the TSE trilogy, Charlie was murdered as a child but Henry made an animatronic in her likeness. Well if memory serves right, he first started constructing Charlie’s AI into her doll, Ella, before her animatronic body was built. When Charliebot finally got built, Henry put the Ella doll into her so her AI would transfer over. There were multiple Charliebots, representing Charlie as she grew up, which is why Ella had to be removeable, so Henry could place her into an “older” body as she grew up.

COMING HOME - “A child deals with the trauma of seeing her murdered sister’s ghost” Okay this one was one of the few really good stories that I actually enjoyed reading- long story short Susie was one of the victims and is having trouble moving on and her sister, Samantha, eventually ends up helping as they both try to cope with their traumas and it’s a good story if you’re gonna read one read this one

COUNT THE WAYS - “Freddy is way too into executions” So the main character, Millie, is way too into death as a concept(she’s the stereotypical goth chick), and long story short ends up getting trapped inside of the chest cavity of a Freddy animatronic. I think it’s implied to be a Funtime Freddy but I forget honestly. As she’s there, the Freddy taunts her, basically explaining that she did deserve an execution for the way she treated her friends and family, and starts just listing off every way he could go about killing her

THE TWISTED ONES - “Clay Burke doesn’t take the divorce well” After the events of TSE, Clay Burke and his wife have some arguments over how the whole “Carlton got kidnapped and nearly murdered” scenario went. This eventually leads to a divorce and Clay isn’t taking it well. He’s drinking, his house is a mess, it’s sad :( 

DANCE WITH ME - “Ballora is the ultimate disappointed mom” After robbing a mother of her purse outside of a Freddy’s, local thief Kasey finds a pair of cardboard glasses that belonged to the child of the mom she just stole from. She sees an image of Ballora spinning in a pirouette, but it appears Ballora gets closer and closer over time as Kasey continues her life of crime. Kasey tries moving away and starting over, but Ballora follows her(much like her past). Ballora is like a manifestation of Kasey’s problems and guilt over her life of thievery. Kasey eventually decides to right some of her wrongs and returns the purse to the mother (and the glasses to the child) that she stole from, relieving her conscience of the guilt.

THE NEW KID - “A kid murdered another kid and tried to hide the evidence, convincing another kid to be his alibi so they don’t get arrested” So after being awfully jealous of the new kid(Kelsey), Devon decides to play a prank on him at a local abandoned Freddy’s they found. Devon basically convinced Kelsey to put on an old Golden Freddy springlock suit, in hopes of just leaving him there to scare him for a couple hours, but turns out the springlocks go off and Kelsey is implied dead. Devon supposedly didn’t intend for it to happen... but Devon also shows a lot of budding serial-killer traits earlier in the book (purposely killing a bird and having no emotional response to that, maybe even proud if i remember right :c), and seems more afraid of being caught then of MURDERING A GUY

[wrestlingisfake]

NWA 73 preview

This is the NWA's 73rd anniversary show, which kicks off at 8pm EDT from the Chase Hotel in St. Louis. It'll be streaming live on Fite.tv for $24.99. However, if you can still get the $39.99 bundle for this show and last night's Empowerrr, I'd recommend doing that.

Nick Aldis vs. Trevor Murdoch - For the third time, Murdoch is challenging Aldis for the NWA men's world heavyweight title. After coming up short on June 6 and July 24, Murdoch put his career on the line for this match; if he doesn't win, he will retire from pro wrestling.

Aldis has been champion for over 1,000 days. To put that into perspective, he won the title from Cody Rhodes at the NWA's 70th anniversary show, in October 2018. Prior to Cody's brief title reign, Aldis held the ten pounds of gold for an additional 266 days. In short, he's been the champion for most of the last four years. He's been so utterly dominant that I seriously think Murdoch may retire.

Murdoch is the embodiment of a wrestling journeyman. He got his first big break in the last days of ECW. Then in 2005 he debuted in WWE as a tag team with Lance Cade. This was at the peak of WWE's mentality of recruiting handsome muscle-y guys like Cade, so Murdoch's flabby, white-trash trucker look immediately made him stand out. He was different, which made him interesting, but WWE released him almost as soon as they broke up the team in 2008. At the time, getting cut from WWE usually meant no chance of getting back in, and few alternatives to make good money at wrestling. So he fell off the radar in the 2010s, only to re-emerge on Billy Corgan's version of the NWA, which seemed tailor-made for him.

The big question here is whether the NWA would actually take the world title off of their one heavily-protected superstar and put it on a guy who would be (and has been) a midcard also-ran in any other promotion. The other question is what happens with Aldis if he drops the belt--it's possible his contract is coming due, and that may be forcing the issue of a title change. If Aldis is on his way out, Murdoch is the best guy they have left to take over as champion. If not...well, I don't know how you book Aldis underneath Murdoch. I wouldn't mind finding out, though.

I'm leaning towards Murdoch winning the title. But it's a credit to how well they've protected Aldis that I can't shake the feeling that he'll win yet again and hold the title another 1,000 days.

Chris Adonis vs. James Storm - Adonis (better known as "The Masterpiece" Chris Masters in WWE) is defending the NWA national championship. Storm was a regular with the NWA up until January 2020. Other than coming in for some tapings where he dropped the tag title, he hasn't been around since then. So maybe this is a one-off or maybe he's back for good. The finish will probably depend on that. I'm sort of thinking Storm wins the title, but I could be wrong.

Kamille vs. Chelsea Green - Green won the NWA Women's Invitiational Cup last night to earn this shot at Kamille's NWA women's world title. I'm still kinda sore that Tootie Lynn didn't win after that huge hometown pop she got. It'll be worth it if they have something good planned for this match, but I'm not expecting a lot. Green is a free agent that could end up anywhere, but I don't think she'll end up in the NWA, so I don't think she's going to win the title.

Mickie James vs. Kylie Rae - When James was announced as the producer of the Empowerrr show, she vowed that she would not book herself to wrestle on the show, so this is her big chance to compete in an NWA ring this weekend. Kylie, meanwhile, is coming off a loss last night. It feels like Mickie needs to go over to establish her as the big star coming into the territory, but for all I know she's not sticking around, or she might prefer to put over the younger talent. This another match where I just can't be sure who wins, which is good for this card.

Aron Stevens & JR Kratos vs. Bestia 666 & Mecha Wolf 450 - Stevens and Kratos are defending the NWA men's tag team title against representatives of AAA's faction La Rebelion. The last time I really kept up with the NWA, Stevens was doing a comedy karate gimmick with Jocephus dressed up as The Question Mark. Somewhere along the way (prior to Jocephus's death), Stevens ended up with Kratos instead. On paper you'd expect the team with Stevens on it to get clobbered, because he's the Wile E. Coyote of pro wrestling. But I doubt Bestia and Mecha Wolf are sticking around, so a tag title change wouldn't make a lot of sense. So look for Stevens to pull some kind of chicanery.

Thom Latimer vs. Tim Storm vs. Crimson - This is being billed as the "Brawl in the Lou" (i.e., St. Louis), which I assume means there are no disqualifications or count-outs, and falls count anywhere. Latimer is part of Nick Aldis's stable Strictly Business (along with Chris Adonis and Kamille). Tim Storm is 57 years old and sort of plays the role of an NWA legend without actually having been around when the NWA was really legendary. Crimson had been teaming with Jax Dane over the past few years but I'm not sure if that's still a thing. I have no idea why these three are fighting, and it may be just because there was nothing else for them to do on this show. I don't know who should win and I'm not sure it matters.

Tyrus & Jordan Clearwater & The Masked Man vs. Da Pope & Odinson & Parrow - Tyrus used to be Brodus Clay in WWE; currently he's the NWA television champion, with Austin Idol as his manager. Clearwater is part of Idol's stable. The Masked Man seems to be an x-factor in this match, and I don't know enough about the story to venture a guess as to why he's involved here. Pope appeared in WWE as Elijah Burke, and even though that's his real name he's tended to just go by "Da Pope" ever since. Odinson and Parrow are a tag team called The End.

The only storyline I can discern is that Tyrus won the TV title from Pope. I'm not sure what the Masked Man and The End have to do with anything. I tried looking for a promo on Youtube to explain things but I just ended up listening to a long, go-nowhere Austin Idol promo that reminded me why I don't watch NWA Powerrr much. I guess Pope's team wins, maybe?

12-man battle royale - This appears to be a standard battle royale, with everyone in the ring at the start, and eliminations occurring when the participants leave the ring over the top rope. The last competitor left in the ring wins the match and receives a future match for the NWA men's world title. No participants have been announced, and I'm real curious if the NWA even has twelve men available that aren't already booked for the other matches. For all I know the undercard guys may be doing double duty tonight.

This feels like a good place to have a surprise wrestler debut to win the whole thing and shake up the main event scene. Whether the NWA has anyone like that lined up remains to be seen. But WWE did lay off a lot of men who haven't shown up anywhere else yet, so maybe it could happen.

[purplebunniboy]

Retrograde AU

Can I summarize this,,,let’s find out. This has been a rough WIP since 2016. Boy has it been a Process.

Before I start let me just state for the record that this is an AU it exists in it’s own universe and ties in aspects of both books and games as well as headcanons that I Know not everybody will agree with! Hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

Warnings before reading: This AU does contain spoilers for the book trilogy, there are some heavy and dark themes mostly involving physical and emotional abuse as well as blood and gore.

This AU is split into 2 parts: pre-scooped and post-scooped. The first is his childhood and early adult life where he is known as Michael Afton leading up to when he got his insides scooped out. The second half is an older adult, when he got a whopping load of amnesia immediately after being scooped and is known as Mike Schmidt.

Pre-scooped:

Michael grew up in the same town Fredbear’s is located in, a few miles out of Hurricane (same place Charlie lived in the books.)

Michael is the older brother from the 4th game’s minigames. The younger brother/ crying child is Cassidy Afton. Cassidy witnessed Charlie’s murder and was absolutely traumatized but no one would believe him. William was really the cause of the bite, needing the kid to keep quiet about the whole thing, but staged it to be an accident to shift the blame on to someone else.

There is 2 seperate bites, Cassidy being the Bite of ‘83 victim. Michael was still the accidental cause of both.

His friend group consisted of the bullies from the 4th game--Bear mask kid is Michelle/Mitchie, bunny mask kid is David/Davie, chicken mask kid is Christopher/Chris. Some basics about them:

Mitchie is a girl, though a total tomboy, and is strong enough that the others know not to mess with her. She has a superiority complex, always feeling like she Has to prove she’s the best. She has a younger brother.

Davie is the bigger kid and designated meat shield of the group. He doesn’t put himself in bad situations but the group tends to throw him into them anyway. 

Chris is a bit of a runt but like to run his mouth a lot. He’s the type to always feel the need to put his two cents in even if it adds nothing to the conversation and is mostly just him being a sassy smartass.

Michael is of course the kid always picking fights. He’ll throw the first punch at the drop of a hat and almost always sports a bruise or a cut somewhere on his face. Some have even turned into scars.

When he was especially younger, Michael got along really well with his dad, drawing up doodles of characters that would eventually become the Funtimes, and always claiming he wanted to be just like him. William would often bring him into the workshop and teach him the basics of how animatronics work, carefully avoiding the subject of springlocks altogether. Obviously as he grew older, he realized his dad was a major ass and grew distant and hateful of him, taking his anger out on those around him rather than actually deal with the problems. 

Michael built his fox mask himself and included a few added feature such as moving/turning ears and fancy lights. His friends demanded he make them some as well to which he happily obliged. 

The Afton and Emily families were good friends! This was before, you know, William decided to remove Charlie’s alive rights. There were nights where all the parents would go out and Michael would get stuck with babysitting all of them at once and chaos ensued. Charlie, Sammy, and Elizabeth were the same age but Elizabeth was a bit of a brat so she didn’t get along very well with them. Charlie and Cassidy, despite age difference were good friends. Charlie and Sammy were a tag team and rarely did you ever see the two of them apart from the other.

After the accident and Cassidy’s death, everyone turned away from Michael except Elizabeth, who Michael swore he would be a better brother for. He continued developing his robotics skills by building her little toys just like Henry did for Charlie. Though unlike Henry’s, the toys were in no way technologically advanced and the most impressive thing he could do was add a wind up music box in them.

William finds old drawing of Michael’s and uses them as inspiration for the Funtime Animatronics which of course eventually lead to the accident with Elizabeth.

After so many years it finally comes together that Michael realizes his dad is actually a psycho murderer. He runs away, trying to figure out ways to set the spirits free. As he travels, continually changing his name, he does eventually find Henry and enlists his help. He is ultimately unsuccessful as he follow the trail into Circus Baby’s and is eventually scooped.

Jeremy Fitzgerald also has a minimal part in this AU. He and Michael met in early adulthood, he eventually tries to help Michael in his task to help set the children free. They go to what is the fnaf 2 location in an attempt to put them all back together but something goes terribly wrong and Jeremy is the unfortunate victim of the bite of ‘87 and loses his frontal lobe in the process. He is the same Jeremy from the VR games.

It is William and his manipulative tactics that convince Michael to go into the underground in the first place, knowing that his sister will be there. With the promise that he can find her and the others and put them all back together.

Post-scooped:

Immediately after the events of the underground, he’s visited by Cassidy’s ghost who warns him he’s going to forget and tells him to “come find him when he remembers.” He wakes up in Hurricane with barely any memories. He’s told his name is Mike Schmidt, as stated by records found mostly in his car. Clay Burke takes him under his wing and helps get him back on his feet, basically becoming like a father figure to him. It’s through this interaction that Mike meets Carlton and becomes part of that whole group.

While the main events of the books did not happen, the friend group is still there and there are certain elements that remain the same. The group is obvi older than they were in the original canon source. 

Henry still moved to Hurricane and built the four closets but instead of offing himself, he saw them to completion, dropped them on Aunt Jen, then disappeared without a trace. So it is still the same that Charlie “moved away” and the group stayed connected through letters they sent back and forth (Though mostly it had been Aunt Jen writing them.)

Instead of Charlie coming back for the funeral type celebration like in The Silver Eyes, she went back specifically to reconnect with friends to see them graduate. As they got older, letters turned to email and live chat rooms. Charlie still went with Jessica to college and the two continue to live together. Charlie has a degree in robotics and programming, Jessica has a degree in anthropology. Charlie and John maintain a long distance relationship as he lives and works out of state. Carlton also left town for college, got his degree in performing arts and moved back to Hurricane. Marla is happily married but still keeps up communication with the others and visits occasionally. 

There is a separation between alive robot Charlie and dead child Charlotte, since The Puppet is still a present figure. Charlie is content with the fact that she is actually a robot, having discovered that years ago. John is the only other one who knows.

Mike and Carlton have a thing going on. 

Mike works at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza as is shown game 1. He works there not only out of desperation but because he feels a connection to the building and wants desperately to know about his past.

He found Springtrap in the back saferoom and since then, the rabbit does not leave him alone. He acts as Mike’s helper buddy, assisting in keep the animatronics away for the most part. He is completely silent though if you were to listen really really close you might hear motors running, a fan or two kicking on, and raspy breathing. 

Helpy is another helper to Mike but is more of a portable buddy rather than a work only buddy. He found the little bear as barely more than scraps in a trash heap, took him home and enlisted Charlie’s help in building him into the lovable little pink and white robot.

Most dreams/nightmares Mike has have to do with reliving past memories though generally he doesn’t remember what they were about once he’s awake. When he’s at the pizzeria he sometimes sees the spirits of the children who help lead him to clues about his missing memories. What would seem like hallucinations to most people, are actually clues from the spirits. But Springtrap tends to chase off any that appear when he is also there. 

Will hopefully post designs of the characters soon! And I’m in the process of writing an actual coherent story for this.

[tic-of-the-tac]

The Ultimate In-Depth Analysis of Carlton Burke from the FNAF Novels (PART ONE)

(This took me a really long time to make, so I hope you enjoy it! I was inspired to write this by sn0ji’s in-depth John analysis post, so thanks, sn0ji! Also, I do discuss POTENTIAL TRIGGERS in this, including, but not necessarily limited to, SEXUAL ASSAULT and MANY FORMS OF VIOLENCE, so read at your own risk. And I know what you’re thinking: Cara, what on earth does Carlton have anything to do with sexual assault? Well, prepare to have your mind blown, and not just based on that fact, because I go into SO much detail in this essay and I mention little events and details from the books that NO ONE has EVER talked about before. It’s in so much detail that I had to make a Part 2 for it, so be sure to check that out! So sit back, relax, and enjoy my in-depth analysis of Carlton Burke!)

People know Carlton for his most obvious character trait: his humor. This is the trait that either makes you love him on at least his surface level or overlook him completely. The first group LOVES his humor. It is their favorite thing about him. While most will just like him for the jokes, some people in this group will even dive deeper into his personality and appreciate him even more. (I’m in this group.) The second group chooses to overlook Carlton because his sense of humor and surface-level personality can often come off as immature. However, calling Carlton immature based on these facts alone is completely ignoring his entire character ark and deeper personality which motivates him to put the safety and happiness of others before himself.

In The Silver Eyes, people will notice his humor, but they won’t notice the other subtle details of his personality that Kira and Scott took the time to mention throughout the book. The first action he is described as doing when Charlie enters the diner is thinking of his words carefully before he speaks them. That is not an easy task for most people, and it takes a level of maturity that is often overlooked to avoid acting on impulse. Also, when the boys split up from the girls (and John) after visiting Freddy’s on the second night, Carlton is the one that looks back at the girls, smiles at them genuinely, and waves over his shoulder. This moment is probably one of the most overlooked small moments in the book series, but it is probably one of my favorites, and it took me a couple rereads to catch. It shows that Carlton is a genuine and sweet person who will go out of his way to be friendly to others and make them smile. While people may see his prank-pulling as ignorance to other people’s emotions, it is quite the opposite. Carlton has shown that when it is time to be serious, he is VERY serious. His speech about Michael during the ceremony is super emotional and a sweet testament to his childhood best friend. However, he also sprinkled in some humor not because he is constantly a jokester, but because he doesn’t want to make people more upset than they already are given the tragic circumstances. He is trying to make them feel better. The number one motivation that pushes him forward in life is making people smile and laugh, which in turn is making them happier than they are. (I can honestly relate to that on a personal level because this is the one thing that keeps me going too, which is why I appreciate and adore his character so much.) The pranks he pulls make him happy, and he is hoping to make people laugh by doing them. He does not have ill intentions by telling jokes and pulling pranks. His humor allows him to push through his grief as well as help others push through theirs, which is very honorable and admirable for him to do. It is not immature of him at all. He also tends to use humor when he is terrified, in attempts to calm himself. He’s not just saying jokes for the heck of it, he’s hoping to make the best out of any dangerous or scary situation. (I relate to that too, as I tend to crack more jokes when I am nervous.) It may not be the brightest idea to crack jokes in front of someone who could literally kill him with the tap of a finger, but he is doing what his brain has trained himself to do his entire life when dealing with a bad situation. Not to mention he has a severe concussion (I know that the book says that it’s mild but let’s get real here, being unconscious for HOURS is a REALLY bad sign), so he’s not thinking clearly. He’s acting on impulse because his brain is physically not working properly. Anything that he says from Chapter 9 onward is not an entirely accurate representation of his overall character. It does, however, give us a good insight into how he deals with physical pain and the effect his pain may have on others. He keeps telling people that he’s fine even though he’s CLEARLY NOT FINE, and he constantly apologizes for the way he is acting even though it is NOT HIS FAULT. Even through pain and terror his genuineness shines through. Also, even though he is not thinking clearly, he is able to focus his anger and pain to stand up to the person that killed his best friend, nearly killed him, and is still threatening him and his friends. That is very courageous of him and it is an action worthy of audience applause. He doesn’t let his anger and pain out on his friends, but he is not afraid to show it either, which shows a sense of control in his life, even when he is not thinking clearly. Having this control shows maturity. In The Silver Eyes alone, Carlton proves that there is more to him than meets the eye.

Carlton is not in The Twisted Ones, but there is something worth mentioning about what he is doing during the events of the book. He is studying acting in New York City. Coming from someone who also wants to study acting in New York City, I know that you cannot be some ordinary idiot to get into a college in NYC. It takes a lot of time and effort to apply, and to get into many NYC acting colleges, you need to be smart as well as good at acting. Carlton got into a college in NY, showing that he’s no idiot and he is willing to put in time and effort to achieve what he wants. Not to mention, during all of this, he is dealing with the grief of his parents separating a lot better than most people. (He certainly handled it better than I did when my parents got divorced.) These actions are very mature of him, showing that even in The Twisted Ones, Carlton is a deep, complex character that is more than just dumb comic relief.

Lastly, there’s The Fourth Closet. This book is the most obvious example of Carlton being more than what he appears. In the first scene Carlton appears in, John, who has been in a constant depressed state for the past six months, smiles genuinely when Carlton races downstairs to greet him for the first time in almost two years, while only faking a smile when reuniting with Jessica and Marla. To John, Carlton is a joy to have around. Not to mention the condition of Clay’s house dramatically improves when Carlton comes home. It shows that people find Carlton as someone who makes them happy and they want to have around. Later, Carlton shows genuine concern for his father when he ends up in the hospital and also when they find a sick Charlie. He really cares about other people and wants to make sure they’re okay. While Carlton is VERY intrigued by Not-Charlie’s appearance (and people use this as reasoning to dismiss him as a dumb jokester), he is TERRIFIED of her. He likes to look at her, sure, but when she presses up against him, strokes his face, and tries to kiss him, he repeatedly tells her NO and tries to get away from her. Carlton is not a dumb, horny teenage boy; he is a victim of a downplayed sexual assault attempt, and it is overlooked because he’s a boy, she’s a robot, and he showed interest in her appearance before and after the attack. It is also overlooked because people think of it as just a way to lure him in to kill him, but the text specifically mentions that she “leaned in for a kiss” and ALSO KISSES JOHN WITHOUT HIS CONSENT (meaning yes, John is a victim of sexual assault). (And yes, kissing someone without consent can be considered sexual assault. I did my research before writing this.) Carlton is not completely innocent because staring at Not-Charlie like he does could actually be considered sexual harassment, but showing interest in her does not warrant her to approach him with sexual intentions because he did not give consent. Immediately after, he is unsure how to feel about it. He is still extremely fascinated by her appearance, but he didn’t want to be anything more than frenemies, and the fact that she tried to push it further terrified him. He is essentially thinking, “Isn’t this what I wanted? I thought she was hot, but I didn’t really want her to approach me like that.” These mixed emotions confuse him, and he shows this confusion when he meets up with Marla and sees Not-Charlie on the TV. Again, it’s not him being just a dumb, horny teenager. Then, he is the one to point out that Not-Charlie, in one of her alternate forms, looks like Circus Baby. No one else was able to make that connection. If he is really an idiot as people claim, he wouldn’t have been the one to make this connection. Instead, he shows that he is actually smart, insightful, and observant. (This is actually the third time he showed these traits; the first time was in The Silver Eyes when he observed Dave’s personality, and the second time was in the same book when he found the security camera above the back room door and made the GENIUS decision to slowly make his way across the floor to get in view of the security camera, which ended up saving his life.) Carlton and Marla’s mission from this point on is to save Jessica and hopefully find the missing children. When Carlton and Marla are in the mirror maze and being pursued by Funtime Freddy, Carlton steps in front of Marla, shields her, and keeps her calm on several occasions, showing that he is protective of the people he cares about. Once they find Jessica and most of the missing children, Carlton makes the courageous and mature decision to give his earpiece, the only defense he has, to Jessica and go out on his own to rescue the last missing child. This is the most courageous decision made by any character in the entire book series. TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2.

[amphibious-thing]

Did Washington let Hamilton and Laurens share a cabin at Valley Forge?

A story I’ve seen floating around a lot is that Washington gave Hamilton and Laurens a cabin to share at Valley Forge, and that this is somehow evidence that Washington was accepting of homosexuality. I think this belief came from this article (that doesn’t properly source anything) which writes:

[Washington’s] concern for his male colleagues clearly extended to their personal lives. This was especially true of Hamilton, whom he brought with him to Valley Forge, giving Hamilton a cabin to share with his then-lover, John Laurens, to whom Hamilton had written passionate love letters that are still extant.

This makes it sound like Hamilton went to Washington and asked “can I share a cabin with my lover Laurens?” and Washington said something like “of course you can, you know how I love and support you and your relationship with Laurens.”

This seems really unlikely to me.

First off I’ve not seen any primary source evidence that confirms whether or not they shared a cabin at Valley Forge. If you visit the Potts house they have this room set up at the aide-de-camp room.

As you can see it’s a pretty small room. The Historic Furnishings Report places three folding camp beds in this room. As there was between 7-9 aide-de-camps there at certain times it seems unlikely they all slept in that one small room. It’s possible that one or two of the aides may have slept in the smaller bedroom when there wasn’t a guest however what did they do when there was a guest?.

It’s possible that the aides (or some of the aides) may have slept in the garret, as it’s said John Laurens hit his head on the ceiling there. However It’s thought that the servants probably slept in the garret and there wouldn't be enough room for the aides and the servants.

It’s speculated that they may have slept in a cabin built out the back of the Potts house. On the 7th of March Martha Washington wrote “the Generals apartment is very small he has had a log cabben built to dine in which has made our quarters much more tolerable than they were at first.” In his book George Washington's Indispensable Men, Arthur Lefkowitz speculates that this cabin “was probably used as an office and dining area during the day and provided additional sleeping quarters for the headquarters staff at night.” (p135) If we assume Lefkowitz is correct and the dining cabin was indeed also used as sleeping quarters for the aides we still have to wonder where the aides slept before it was built. Martha indicates that it was built after her arrival at Valley Forge which was “about the first of February”. Washingtons army had been at Valley forge since the 19 of December.

It’s said that Washington (and presumably his aides) slept in tents with the enlisted men until the huts were built. However in reality they moved into the Potts house on Christmas Eve and not all the huts were completed until sometime latter. This leaves at least 40 days between moving into the Potts house and the construction of the log cabin. So where did the aides sleep? The answer to that might indeed be the second bedroom.

Alexander Hamilton and Caleb Gibbs had been sent on a mission to Albany and neither arrived back until 20th of January and even after arriving at Valley Forge it’s possible that Gibbs slept with the Life Guard rather than the aides. James McHenry didn’t join staff until the 15th of May. And no one is quite sure whether Peter Presley Thornton was there at all. So between 24th of December and the 20th of January we’re looking at probably 5-6 men in the second bedroom, if we assume it was two to a bed while probably not the most comfortable it’s possible.

During the 1779-1780 winter encampment at Morristown Washingtons staff stayed at the Ford Mansion where “Washington had a large upstairs bedroom reserved for himself and his wife. The aides shared the remaining two bedrooms sleeping on their folding camp beds.” (Lefkowitz p197) Much like at Valley Forge at Morristown they had built a large log structure. At Morristown the log cabin “butted up against the side of the mansion and the new doorway to Washington's office ... A visitor typically entered the mansion through the log building. He was met by a headquarters officer of the day who was stationed there. This officer probably belonged to the Commander in Chief's Guard. He would determine the visitor's business and direct him accordingly. If someone had an appointment with His Excellency, the officer could take the visitor from the log building, through the doorway cut in the wall, directly into Washington's office.” (Lefkowitz p196) Lefkowitz speculates that the “arrival of important visitors probably required the aides to move their sleeping quarters out of the house to the log office building.” (p197) This is supported by McHenry’s poem which describes the aides waking up in a hut.

It’s quite plausible that the same happened at Valley Forge and that earlier on in the winter they slept in the second bedroom and latter moved to the log dining cabin to make room for guests. It’s also worth noting that Martha Washington had a sitting room at the Potts house which is described as being “near the small room” if you look at the floor plan this is clearly the ‘aides room’. So perhaps the aides were moved into the log cabin to make room for Mrs. Washington’s sitting room after her arrival.

So while it seems likely that Hamilton and Laurens did share a cabin at Valley Forge, they were probably sharing it with 4-7 other men. It’s hardly the sexy scenario the article seems to imply.

But wait you might be saying, if we don’t necessarily know where the aides slept is it possible that Hamilton and Laurens shared a cabin just the two of them? The answer to that is yes, it’s certainly possible. Lefkowitz writes that it has been “speculated that a number of temporary huts were also built near the house to further accommodate the large headquarters staff. Evidence for the construction of a log building onto the back of the Potts house comes from the fact that a soldier named Gideon Savage kept a diary, which mentions that he worked at Washington's quarters for several days during mid January 1778. Savage worked as a carpenter before joining the army.”

The huts at Valley Forge were “fourteen by sixteen each—sides, ends and roofs made with logs, and the roof made tight with split slabs—or in some other way—the sides made tight with clay—fire-place made of wood and secured with clay on the inside eighteen inches thick, this fire-place to be in the rear of the hut—the door to be in the end next the street—the doors to be made of split oak-slabs, unless boards can be procured—Side-walls to be six and a half-feet high—” It was 12 enlisted men to a hut but officers would have less people per hut. So it’s possible that Laurens slept in the second bedroom with the other aides until mid January when these huts were supposedly built. When Hamilton arrived on the 20th on Jan he may have joined Laurens in the hut.

However even if we assume this was the case, space was tight and platonic bed sharing was a normal thing in America at the time. It was not uncommon for complete strangers of the same sex to share a bed together at an Inn if there was little space. A custom that was not appreciated by many European visitors. In 1816 Lt. John Le Couteur, a British army officer and Captain George Thew Burke traveled through New York together, Le Couteur complained in his diary:

There was only one spare bed, a small one, which of course I insisted Burke should take. The Yankee Landlord wished me to take half of it as a matter of course but I said: "we Britishers were particular on that pint.' ''Then,'' said mine host, "I guess if you don't chuse to take half a bed with some one, you'll jist sleep in a cheer [chair] or by the kitchen fire'

Another example of this cultural difference can be found in this amusing anecdote from Pierre Du Ponceau’s autobiography:

One evening at an Inn in Virginia, a Frenchman and a Virginian were discussing about the manners of their respective countries. The American exclaimed violently against the horrid custom of the French of kissing one another at meeting and parting. The Frenchman made no answer, but as it was late, he took his candle and went up to bed. He was soon followed by the Virginian who after undressing came to take his place in the same bed with his companion "Stop, Sir," said the Frenchman, "that won't do—I shall kiss you as much as you please, but by Jupiter, I'll not sleep with you."

However bed sharing was not always merely an act of necessity, E. Anthony Rotundo explains in his article on romantic friendship:

Perhaps it is not too much to suggest that in an era before central heating, the body warmth of an already beloved bedmate may have been so welcome as to be a source of emotional as well as physical pleasure. This was, after all, a culture that fervently contrasted the secure and cozy warmth of home with the coldness of a cruel and heartless world outside... A bed, when shared with a special person, could become a nest of intimacy, a place of casual touch and confidential talk.

Once we recognize that this possibility of intimacy in bed could exist in an era when men slept together as a casual occurrence, then we can see the spectrum of meanings that attached to the act of sharing a bed - a spectrum that spread out from the incidental (and often annoying) contact of strange bedfellows, to the body warmth of fond brothers, to the embraces of Wyck Vanderhoef and James Blake, and on to the loving kisses of Albert Dodd and Anthony Halsey. 

So while sharing a bed may be an emotionally and even physically intimate experience for Hamilton and Laurens it’s unlikely anyone would have thought twice about Hamilton and Laurens sharing a bed let alone a cabin. In fact it’s likely they would have been required to share sleeping quarters (and possibly even a bed at times) due to lack of space.

So while it’s possible that Hamilton and Laurens may have shared a cabin a Valley Forge, and its certainly likely Washington would have been aware of his aides sleeping quarters, the idea that Washington gave them a cabin to share and that this is somehow proof of him being super gay friendly seems like a bit of a misapprehension to me.

TL;DR: It’s very likely Hamilton and Laurens shared sleeping quarters at Valley Forge, and Washington would have almost certainly been aware of that. However they probably did not have their own quarters (just the two of them) and even if they did it would not be considered unusual for them to share the same sleeping quarters or even the same bed. If Washington was aware of a sexual relationship between Hamilton and Laurens he (as far as I’m aware) left no evidence of that knowledge.

[fnafitup]

Fun fact: Betty Burke is the reason I’m writing this fic. Her and The Twisted Ones, even though I maintain that book is an acid trip nightmare from hell.

I try to be accurate to the setting and time period, so I wouldn’t normally headcanon a small-town, red state, 1980s cop as a decent person, unless canon gave me a reason to. That reason is that Clay married an assertive career woman and outright states that he loves her ambition. He may be a traumatized disaster, he may have neglected his home life because of that, but he’s also a dude who loves women for who they are, instead of what they can do for him. It also implies that his masculinity is way less fragile that I’d expect from a guy in this setting.

Obviously these books weren’t really written with all of this in mind, but I’m glad he turned out that way, or I’d have had no one to ship Henry with!