#from someone who took too many sciences at a-level

[creepyscritches]

Like, I grew up with a single parent who went MILES beyond expectations to secure me medical care and it was a horrible, demeaning process at every step! You could NOT "good behavior" your way to the system working. There were countless moving finish lines and a faceless wall of state insurance that did not care how often or how high they asked you to jump.

My father was not interested in paying for my health insurance after he dropped my mother and me like hot stones. So my mother did not have many choices when it became clear I was not well. I spent most of my early life undiagnosed and severely decompensated and, you guessed it, extremely suicidal. It wasn't until I was 26 or 27 that I experienced a day without pain, and I fought my way there the entire time.

I managed to graduate high school with honors, cords for the art honor society, and with all of my college-level English knocked out my senior year through dual-enrollement. I also taught intro level art at the high school, student-taught art at the middle school, student tutored trigonometry, and spent my remaining time in the art rooms completing the soldering on a giant stained glass installment we made for the school. Through this time, I also learned as many art techniques as I could (film photography and lost wax sculpture being my favorites). I also worked most holidays and school breaks in a kennel, spending 12 hour shifts handling non-social dogs.

By senior year, I was stashing coffee throughout my destinations each day. I was so tired I couldn't sit up. My body hurt, but doctors we could see would simply brush me off as a lazy teenager. I had a tumor under my tongue that kept returning and becoming more expensive to address. I had to lose a rear molar due to infection that eroded my jaw bone -- it took 2 years for the bone to regrow before I could entertain any options of replacing the tooth. I am 15. I am 16. I am 17.

I am 18. Despite having no money, I finally get some payoff for my efforts. I am awarded a full ride scholarship, I even get enough money back each semester to fully cover my books. I have to work a campus job as a part of the agreement and I spend 6hrs a week manning the liberal arts front desk between my +12hrs of classes. That's fine. I knew I was never going to have an easy road to education. I join the honors college and place my science + language credits there. My 7pm biology lab is the only reason I did not work my second job one day a week.

I am 18. I am working. I am learning. I am extremely ill but have been conditioned to call myself lazy, unmotivated, and the reason for my failures. I am not ill, not to me. I am 18. I work an overnight, 16 hour shift for Black Friday. I do not see family this year. My tumor returns. I quit my second job in December because I could not talk to customers after surgery. The doctor tells me I will have a scar as long as my jaw if it returns again.

I am 18. I am in pieces. My partner breaks up with me because I do not give them enough attention. I work until 10pm every day and spend the preceding 12 hours in rigorous college courses. Every day but my 7pm Biology lab, but I am too tired to spend time with someone that day. I do not have room in me to care about this now too. I finish my second semester and do not return. I cannot move my body and I cannot get accommodations because I cannot afford a diagnosis. I leave the full ride behind.

I am 19. I am supporting myself with freelance art. My body suffers deeply for this. I cannot get care. I find a chiropractor who will see me for $50 a visit and she saves me from killing myself if I'm honest. I begin teaching myself the ICD-9. I get certified and get a job the same month as my certification.

I am 20. I have moved out, my mother was moving as well. I am working, still sick. I cannot get care anywhere now as I am over 18, under 26, but my parent with insurance will not cover me. I work at my job for a year before I am fired for health complications. As a contractor, I did not get benefits or protections. This is just the way it is, they explain to me.

I am 21. I have picked up a new job, still contract over a year in despite the promise of full-time after 8 months. The job holds my insurance over my head like a carrot. I start to lose motion in my left arm. Pain now wakes me up on a nightly basis. I threaten to quit, they transition me from "external" to "internal" contractor. No benefits.

I am 21. I have forced my employer to hire me full-time. I am paid significantly less than my peers, despite experience. I get benefits. I pay $4000 out of pocket, but get my first diagnosis of narcolepsy. I do not get adequate medication until 4 years later.

I am 22. Physical therapy had been trying to fix my left arm, but things keep worsening. I receive a couple of painful steroid injections over my ulnar nerve (between the elbow). These do not work, so I am brought in for an ultrasound guided injection where the needle is woven between my bones and nurses physically hold me in place per protocol. This does nothing, but it is one of the most agonizing procedures I have ever had. I am rushed into a rheumatologist's roster after lesions in my bone marrow are found on MRI. The MRI took 3 attempts over a month as the pose required would reduce me to delirious levels of pain.

I am 22. I am told I have an autoimmune disease that has been running rampant for years. I begin oral chemotherapy. I vomit constantly. I do not improve. My doctor does not believe me when I say I cannot tolerate this medication. I do not get a name for my diagnosis, no matter how I press. I have multiple conditions submitted to insurance, but my doctor claims it is to get the different medications covered.

I am 27. I am accepted into Vanderbilt's cutting edge rheumatology department. I have SLE and my previous doctor's regimen had been consistently worsening my baseline condition. I am $15,000 in debt for medicine that ultimately was poisoning me.

I am 29 now. I have a body for the first time in my life. The opportunities I have now are unbelievable. The opportunities I missed are devastating. My body and health have been used as bartering chips my entire life. I am a "lucky" outcome. I cannot swallow this pill that this is the only way people can live here. No one will be demeaned like I was if I have any control over it. I will never minimize the incredible change the ACA brought to everyone here.

I cannot stress enough that the gap between "better than nothing insurance" and "no healthcare at all" is literally one big enough for your coffin. That is unacceptable, I refuse this. The only reason I have been motivated to learn the bureaucratic bullshit required for American health care is to shovel this gap closed, one shovel of dirt at a time. YEAH, I would love to be a middle school art teacher but I think I have been changed too much from these experiences to walk away from the state of American health care.

I find talent to help me and I protect it, elevate it, and encourage it to multiply. I have a mentor helping me do the same. I am learning the ACA industry still, mostly to identify problem points around me. I am 29, I am building like-minded spaces around me. I refuse to see another generation live like mine and those before. Sign up for the ACA.

Growing up pre-ACA radicalized me soooo much lol like I will not pander to arguments that deprioritize access to medical care at all as an adult

[tracybirds]

Started this a wee while ago because @astranite and I were excitedly discussing astronomy textbooks and in particular BOB which is a real astronomy textbook for the undergraduate level, written by Carroll and Ostie as mentioned in the fic. We started joking about Lucille being an academic and writing the second BOB and then well... this happened :P

Many thanks both to @astranite and @gumnut-logic who have both read bits of this at some point - I hope you enjoy the finished fic!

---

"Imagine a world with no stars."

John reached down, brushing his fingers across the familiar preface, the uncomfortable weight of his mother's textbook feeling like home.

"Hi Mom," he whispered, his heart aching as he turned the pages.

Her orange highlighter was everywhere, notes in her clear, rounded hand scattered across every paragraph as month by month, year by year, she read yet another paper that strengthened the collective understanding of the universe. He knew that some of these notes made it into the second, third, and even fourth editions of BOBv2, but others lay dormant, waiting for a fifth edition that would never come.

Until now.

John took a steadying breath. He hadn’t dared to touch his mom’s personal copy of the astrophysics textbook that had redefined a generation in years. The Tracy text, with its dry wit and clear conceptual language, voiced with an undeniable love for the heavens above, similarly ignited a passion in everyone who read it. John was too young to know exactly when BOBv2 – the Big Orange Book – had become the standard text, but in doing so, Lucille Tracy had cemented her name as one of the great educationalists of modern astronomy. A companion to the original Carroll & Ostie, a text that delved with enthusiasm into every branch of space science, his mom had inspired a generation of astronomers.

His mom had inspired him.

And, as it turned out, there were people who wanted to see that legacy continued.

John scanned the email that had arrived without fanfare in his inbox that morning, though he already knew every word.

“Dear Mr. Tracy…” it began, and John knew they hadn’t meant him. Scott had forwarded the email himself, not reading beyond the subject line that mentioned only the title of the astronomy textbook he held in his hands.

This was how John learnt that his mom’s old publishing company were seeking permission to engage a new author to perform the necessary revisions for a new edition. John had never thought of Scott as being the executor of their parents’ estate, had never given much thought to any of the legalities of what their parents had created.

He glanced up as TB5 rounded the dark side of the Earth, the familiar patch of ocean his family called home slowly moving towards sunset.

His brother had gotten home less than an hour ago and it was for this reason, John told himself, that he hadn’t drawn attention to Scott’s error.

In truth, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say.

Well.

That wasn’t quite true.

John’s grip tightened around the book as he steadied himself once more.

This text had belonged to everyone, that’s how his mom had wanted it, and that’s what John would want too.

He connected to Scott’s line.

With each ring, his heart sank further and further.

“Hey John, wha–”

“Don’t do it,” blurted John.

Scott’s blue face scrunched up as he peered at him through the holo. “Don’t do what?” he asked.

“Mom’s book, let me instead,” said John, his words beginning to stumble across themselves in his hurry to make Scott understand. “I can do it, just don’t let someone else take it away from her.”

“Woah, woah,” said Scott, looking more alarmed with every second. “Nobody’s going to take Mom away from you, what are you talking about.”

“They want to revise BOB,” said John desperately.

Scott’s silence rang between them, a pause that filled the distance between them before John huffed and thrust the book into the holocam.

“BOB,” he said impatiently, “Mom’s textbook, the Big Orange Book the Second.”

“Can you.. can you start from the beginning, John,” said Scott weakly.

John’s fingers twitched, struggling to steady his shaky inhalations.

“Mom’s publishing company sent you an email. You sent it to me so I read it, but it was for you.”

With every word, John willed Scott to hear him, to understand what he was asking. It wasn’t the revision that was troubling him, John had worked alongside academics too long to question the need for an updated edition as new evidence emerged and new lines of reasoning developed into discoveries.

“It’s the only link to her that’s just mine,” he said quietly. “I have to share everything else, and maybe that’s selfish of me to ask, Scott, but I want this one. I don’t want someone to overwrite her words, her passion, her memory with a fake. Someone who’s just pretending they could ever know what she would have said.”

“I can say no,” suggested Scott, but every fibre of John’s being rebelled at the thought.

What was worse, he wondered, to remain true to her memory and thus condemn his mother’s greatest achievement to history? Or to give up his claim to her and allow her work to shine anew, albeit polished with a varnish he’d never known.

Obscurity or lies?

John knew which he’d choose.

It felt like burying her all over.

“John,” said Scott hesitantly. “Would you want to do it?”

John’s eyes widened. At once a thousand reasons to say no erupted, his mind running through emergency scenarios and the intensive workload that revising a beast like BOBv2 would take, not to mention remembering the half a dozen other projects he’d made promises to look at when he got a chance.

There was no chance he would ever be able to agree to what Scott was suggesting.

There was no chance he’d ever say no.

“How?” he asked breathlessly.

“We’d make it work for you, John, you know we would,” said Scott. “We’d do it for Mom, but we’d also do it for you.”

John’s smile was wobbly, and he rapidly blinked back the tears that welled in his eyes as warmth flooded and swelled in his chest.

“Then let’s do it,” he said hoarsely.

***

“John!” shouted Alan, racing up the stairs two at a time. “You’ve got a package, Grandma picked it up on the mainland, it’s here – it’s here!”

John leapt up from the sofa, his quiet conversation with Brains and Virgil forgotten in a heartbeat as he reached out with eager hands.

“Scott, Gordon!” bellowed Alan, running outside and leaning over the balcony’s edge. “Hurry up, John’s book is here.”

There was a mad scramble, water splashing all over, but John hardly heard it, his hands turning the brown paper over and over. He could feel the bio-bubble packing material, its gentle give beneath his fingers making him doubt the reality of what he was about to find.

Alan slammed into his side, legs bouncing with excitement. John could see the amused glances traded between Virgil and Gordon out of the corner of his eye, but he ignored them, suddenly terrified that he’d ruined his Mom’s book forever.

“We all know you gave it everything,” said Scott, dripping water all across the floor as he gripped John’s shoulder with firm encouragement. “She’d be proud too. Let’s see it.”

The spine was orange, the dusky colour of sunsets as the night gave way to twilight and the field of astronomy arose. Tracy & Tracy stood out, stark white and magical. Each leaf was glossy and vibrant, full of excitement and wonder.

He glanced down at Alan, whose eyes were wide in awe, and smiled, opening the book to the dedication page.

To Jeff, who travelled my stars and inspired my heart. – L.T. 1st edition To Scott, John, and Virgil, who helped me to dream. – L.T. 2nd edition To Gordon, who gave me new adventures. – L.T. 3rd edition To Alan, for all the skies we’ve seen together  – J.T. 5th edition

John wrapped an arm around Alan, who had gone still as he read.

“It was time you were added to the Tracy text,” he said quietly.

Alan only hugged him back.

“It looks incredible, John,” said Virgil. “It’s all paid off.”

One by one, everyone gave their congratulations and wandered off, the novelty soon wearing thin. Even Alan slipped away, his video games beginning to call, but not before making John promise to get him his own copy.

Eventually, only Scott remained and he fell down on the sofa next to John, watching him quietly as he flipped through the pages one by one.

Soon enough John paused, running his fingers over the familiar foreword, every letter of Lucille’s passion immortalised once again. His foreword came second in deference to the original and, sandwiched between his mother’s words and the contents page, John had allowed himself more sentiment than he usually considered wise in a public sphere, comfortable in the knowledge that only the few who were truly inspired by what he and his mom had made would ever read them.

“She would be proud,” he said with certainty. “Of this, of what we’ve done without her.”

“She would,” Scott agreed. “They both would.”

John nodded, and closed the text, laying it carefully on the coffee table.

His green eyes shimmered earnestly, a mirror of their mother.

“Thank you, Scott,” he said. “For giving me this.”

“It’s yours, John,” said Scott. “Always.”

[moonspirit]

I think the discussion on Armin’s relationship with his mother brings up an interesting idea, especially in relation to your fic. Specifically concerning his relationship with Hange, you have been identifying, and rightly so Levi as the “father” of the Scouts. So I am wondering at the other end do you identify Hange as the “mother”

I would love to hear your ideas on her/their relationship with Armin. Was it a mentor/protegee relationship given their similar passions for knowledge and exploration, or did it become sort of a “Son I never had” for Hange and “Mother whom I never really had” for Armin

As always I would love to hear your insight and thoughts on this.

Hello anon! This is long, sorry TT^TT I got carried away.

Tbh I haven't explored Armin's relationship with Hange all that much in VBEOW, but yes, as you say, the intention is clear that he looked up to her and they spent quite a lot of time together; that's what I'm getting at.

I think much of the fandom appreciates Levi and Hange being the parent figures to the 104th, in that the newest members of the SC are all mere children, and it's Levi and Hange who guide and lead them. Of course we have Erwin, we don't see there necessarily being a "huge distance" of rank between him and the 104th (he's around and about), but he's not the one scolding the kids, breaking up the fights, or teaching them titan science and new technology. Among the vets, Levi and Hange are closest to the 104th (going forth we mean EMA+JSC) and their bond only grows thicker as the years pass, numbers fall, and uncertainty grows.

This is why I love thinking about Levi's relationship to the Alliance post-rumbling, especially in relation to the Paradis boys (Armin, Jean and Connie) because after all that time spent together, they know him, and he knows them. He protected them, took care of them, (probably woke them up with a kick to the balls too), told them to buck up and focus in as little words as possible - a father, through and through.

All of the same goes for Hange, only, she doesn't make it to see them as Ambassadors.

Now coming to Armin specifically.

Among all the Ambassadors, he's the only one that's an orphan. Everyone else has parents, or at least someone looking forward to receiving them at home. Not counting Mikasa, (who is his family, yes, but she's not an adult figure), he has nobody that'll give him a hug and say he's made them a proud parent. There is a comfort in being held by someone older and feeling like you're still a child; that you'll always be their child.

But it's not just now, is it? He hasn't had it since he enlisted in the military.

At that young age when people have friends and parents, loneliness is crippling. Eren and Mikasa being inseparable I think there would've been times Armin wandered the buildings and scoured the libraries all alone. His curiosity to learn is something we don't see anyone sharing with him on quite the same level or depth - sure, he's telling people interesting things from what he's read most recently and they're listening, fascinated, but how many of them are picking his brain and quenching his thirst for a good, long conversation with questions, answers, hypothesis and conclusions?

One. Hange.

Or so I imagine. Their combined curiosity would've known no bounds. He's assessing her hypotheses, she/they're answering his questions. He helps her/them in the lab, she/they gives him new what-ifs to ponder about. She teaches him about the weather. He writes her expedition reports in meticulous detail. We see Hange rambling to anyone that'll spent 5 seconds listening, but it's a special satisfaction when someone listens with keen interest and a desire to contribute their thoughts by an equal measure. For Hange, Armin is a great scout in that he naturally possesses the understanding, empathy and curiosity needed of a scout in the first place. He's also sweet and polite - I see her/them developing a bit of a soft spot for him.

But then things go to shit right? Once the walls break (again) and along with it goes trust (RBA), nothing is a certainty anymore. From this point onwards, the SC begins to get pared down in both numbers and trustworthy members - by the end of S3, the SC we see are those few left alive and survived through all the betrayal. The only constants that remain for Armin then, are his immediate close friends (EM+JSC), Levi, and Hange.

And Hange is admittedly, more vocally softer in her approach to the kids than Levi is.

It only gets worse though, through the timeskip, which is the most grueling of times imo, in the whole story. Hange as a commander is different - no longer does she/they have the time or peace of mind to be the careless mad scientist because the pressure on her to perform, lead, and find a near impossible solution is insane. I imagine Armin and Hange spend many an evening thinking about what to do about the impending annihilation. Some of those evenings, she/they would break down, head in her/their hands, and admit only to him, that the burden of living up to Erwin's legacy's crushing her back.

To everyone else, Hange must be brave. The world's falling apart, she can't look weak. In front of Armin though, she can afford to look scared. Just a bit. Because he'll understand.

And Armin would understand all too well, wouldn't he? They share the burden, after all. One has been appointed the Commander, and the other has replaced a Commander.

Above anyone else too, Hange would understand Armin's guilt. He's just a boy of nineteen, receiving hostile stares and accusations simply for living and breathing, and she/they feel sorry. It wasn't her/their decision, it was Levi's, but Hange's been watching this boy grow up from a scrawny thirteen year old to a young adult who should be feeling more confident in himself (with a shifter's power too!), but he doesn't. He cries, he hates, he wishes he wasn't alive.

What kind of parent wouldn't hurt from that?

To sum up, from the beginning to the moment Hange died burning in the sky, I believe Armin and she/they shared a very special relationship. It might have started out as a Superior/Junior thing, but over time it progressed into something more, something deeper, something closer to the heart.

A soft spot for one another like nobody else had.

[scribblesbyavi]

A few months ago I wrote this eulogy for a tumblr friend of mine and he wanted it to be written for the love his life who is going to leave him soon as she is suffering from terminal cancer. I can't even explain how he feels even if he has shared his story with me. I also can't imagine what she might be going through but I just wanted to be someone who could add some meaning to their life and somehow be a small part of their journey. I really wish I could do more and may be throw this deadly disease out of this world as it has taken so many of our loved ones away from us. So I want to dedicate this eulogy to each one of them who has gone through a similar situation.

It goes like...

You know that there are trillions of galaxies in the universe, and billions of stars in each one of them?

But somehow everything is so connected that something changes in us when something else changes in nature. Like, something changes in all of nature if we plant a new tree and something changes in us if the sun doesn’t shine or the moon doesn’t lit our path anymore.

I know it’s all happening at a cosmic level but also within our mind. 

It’s cosmic consciousness.

Every step that we ever took changed our timeline forever and the entire path of this world as well. That’s how powerful each step of ours is.

There are always infinite possibilities and probabilities of something happening or not happening.

And yet, here we are, I met you, my dear moonlight.

What were the odds?

Have you ever thought this way?

Can you imagine that there could be many more you and I in other universes, in other earths, and may be they never interacted with each other and missed out on this beautiful connection that we both share? I would have totally regretted that.

I’m blessed that this self, this version of me, lives in this universe where I met you and got to share a beautiful bond with you.

Not a day goes by that I don’t cherish our relationship and how much you mean to me.

I’m glad that you exist at the same time as I, because I’ve a part of you in me now. And this feeling of your presence is going to stay with me forever, like the moon in the sky. 

And you know, I believe in many things other than just science and logic so I just hope that some kind of miracle happens and you too stay with me forever.

So please stay with me for a lifetime.

STAY.

[siriusly-rem-writes]

Where Will We End Up? (Headcanons/Context)

In honor of the resurfacing of JATP S2 rumors, here's some context set in the WWWEU? Universe.

Warnings: mentions of absent fathers, relationships with parents, implied hostile home environment, use of Y/N, Alex is Catholic, implied homophobia, female reader (Let me know if I missed something!)

Luke Patterson

Born November 25, 1977 (13 at the start of the story)

The oldest of the group

Born and raised in Canada

Moved to LA when he was 12 for his 8th-grade year

Only child

Lives with both his parents

Has a good relationship with both but struggles to communicate with his mom more

His dad plays guitar and taught him how to play

Has ADHD

Has a slight accent 

And a stutter

Started cutting the sleeves of his shirts because too much fabric bothered him 

Was overstimulated on the first day of school 

He bumped into Alex in the cafeteria causing both of their trays to fall down

It was his last straw and he exploded

“Hey! Watch where you’re going!”

Y/N put him in his place after he yelled at Alex

He looked for them a few days later to apologize

“I uh, brought cookies?”  

He brings cookies every time he messes up

Doesn’t have physical boundaries with his friends 

It took getting smacked on the forehead by Bobby many, many times for him to understand not to hug him unprompted

Emily loves hosting 

The group used to sleep over at Luke’s a lot 

The more serious Luke got about music, the more arguments he had with his mom

It got so bad he eventually ran away from home

He actually wasn’t allowed in Alex’s room alone anymore after they got caught kissing

Every time he went over to Alex's the air was tense

He stopped showing up the way he used to, instead opting to sneak in

He picked up a job as a waiter at a local diner

The group loves to go in just to terrorize him

Firmly believes that you choose your family and he chose his

Isn’t bad at school, he just can’t focus on it for the life of him

Gets detention a lot because he gets caught not paying attention

The reason they have a zero-tolerance after 3 tardies rule 

He takes boxing lessons with Jose Camacho to release his pent-up energy 

Forgets he knows how to fight

Reggie Peters

Born May 06, 1978 (12 at the start of the story)

Third oldest of the group

Born and raised in LA

Lives by the beach 

Likes to sneak out and listen to the waves 

Can surf

Lives with both his parents 

But he doesn’t have a good relationship with either 

He doesn’t hate them nor have they directed anything at him, he just wishes they’d listen and spend more time with him

Only child

But he babysits Diego Miller, the little boy next door who he decided was his little brother

He’s not as dense as he makes himself out to be 

He just doesn’t like to think about things too much because it stirs his feelings 

Really good at Math and Science

He likes that it's logical thinking, not emotional

Doesn’t like English because it requires him to tap into emotions and he really doesn’t want to 

He doesn’t like History either because it leaves him bothered by the shitty and unfair past

Has selective mutism 

It kicked in badly during one of his parents' fights 

The longest he’s gone mute was 2 months

It kicks in every now and then but not for as long and not around everyone 

He learned ASL because of it 

Sometimes he uses it outside of an episode just because it’s easier 

Everyone else tries to pick it up, levels of proficiency vary

He found “Wright’s Domain” a comic book shop one day after he had walked out of his house

He spends most of his Summers there

He sits in the same bean bag

The more time he spent there, the more he found himself doing random things 

He’d reorganize comics, reposition figurines and when someone asked him where they could find a specific section he pointed them to it 

The couple that owns the store started to notice him

They left snacks by his bean bag chair with a note thanking him for fixing up

He wrote back a thank you with a doodle of himself holding two thumbs up and an arrow pointing out his name was Reggie 

The snacks waited for him every visit

His voice did come back, at the shop 

He spoke to the owners, Donna and Michael, quite often, they love hearing about his day 

He eventually got a job there

Ended up bringing everyone one day

He was a little nervous because the shop was his safe space but so was the group

The owners loved the group too

Donna and Michael live in THE house

Alex Mercer

Born August 23, 1978 (12 at the start of the story)

Second to last youngest

Lives with both his parents 

The eldest

He has a younger sister named Sophia 

Had a good relationship with both his parents up until he came out

Always watches out for his sister

He plays tea party and dresses up with her

His dad made a comment about it and Alex stopped doing it so frequently

Grew up Catholic 

He never really thought much of it until he noticed he looked at boys a lot for being a boy himself

He’s not the biggest fan of it anymore

Was already an anxious kid but as he got older; his religious background, his dad's expectations, and being more aware of the world's problems made his anxiety skyrocket

He fidgets by tapping his fingers on a surface or hitting his thighs with his hands 

His parents got him a drum set to help ease it

He met Y/N when they were 7 

He defended her against a bully

He got detention

She walked home with him that day and they realized they lived 3 streets down from each other

Really wants to make his dad proud 

His dad has a lot of traditional views of men which contradict with Alex 95% of the time

His first crush was on Ryan, a boy he went to church with, but he didn’t know it yet 

His stomach dropped when he saw Ryan and another girl share a quick kiss at the park

Developed a crush on Luke  

His first kiss and boyfriend was Luke 

His dad opened the door to Alex’s room and caught them kissing 

His dad stood there, closed the door and walked away

His dad didn’t speak to him at all through dinner

The next day, his dad told him he’d take him to church to repent

Alex said no and came out when he was 15

They got into an argument

His dad didn’t kick him out (to save his image) but told him that until he repented, he wasn’t his son

He was the first to meet Reggie 

They’re in the same Math class and the teacher asked Reggie to tutor him 

They met up after school twice a week

Alex wasn’t looking for a friend but Reggie being the social butterfly he is, didn’t care

The more times they saw each other, the more Alex got used to him and his antics 

He actually understood Math the way Reggie would teach him

One day Luke didn’t want to go home because he had fought with his mom and Y/N was busy, Alex found Reggie to tell him he had to stick to Luke 

Reggie told him Luke was welcome to join their session

Luke sat across from them and wrote in his journal but was still fidgety 

Reggie cut the tutoring session short and invited them out for ice cream

Alex questioned his life choices as Luke and Reggie’s loud personalities mixed

He initiated his and Luke’s first kiss 

And then immediately panicked before Luke laughed and pulled him back in

He was the one who broke up with Luke

There was an awkward air for like 2 minutes before they talked about everything and went back to being best friends

Bobby Shaw

Born March 16, 1978 (13 at the start of the story)

The second oldest of the group

Never knew his dad

Lives with his mom and grandma

Has a good relationship with both

Only child (not really but we'll get into that later)

Keeps to himself mostly

Skates

He paints, though he doesn’t like people looking at his art 

Took an art class during his freshman year 

He never did anything in class

He’d do it at home and sneak in the assignment the next day, nameless

His art teacher caught him one time and told him he’d leave the art room open for him to do his assignments so as long as he starts signing his name

He spends a lot of time in the art room

Close to the art teacher, Mr. Cervantez 

He was the first positive male influence in his life

Befriends Y/N first, she takes an art class with him

He’s actually not sure how to handle social interactions 

He’s pretty awkward 

He helped Luke on their first week of high school

Luke was being picked on and they had taken the beanie off his head 

He stopped Luke from launching himself at the other guys 

“Come on guys, give it back.” 

One of the guys looked at him questioningly 

Bobby stood his ground

The guys tossed the beanie back at Luke and Bobby walked off as soon as they left

Luke approached him weeks later and he internally panicked the whole time

Has problems with authority 

That guy that will touch something after you said not to 

His grandma hates that he does that but he can’t help it

He’s respectful to both his mom and grandma, no one else really

Lacks a filter, has accidentally hurt people’s feelings because of it

Not a big physical touch guy 

He has to be very comfortable with you to initiate touch

All talk 

Like he can’t fight

He’s gotten by on physical appearance alone 

The guys hide behind him all the time and when Y/N needs him, his tall looming presence behind her has people running for the hills

He’s punched one person and one person only

It was Alex’s dad

Y/N Y/L/N

Born September 01, 1978

The youngest of the group

Only child

Lives with her mom

Dad walked out when she was 7

Her mom started drinking, causing the mother-daughter bond to break

Spends the night at Alex’s a lot

The first time, her bed was set up in Sophia’s room 

After everyone had gone to sleep she snuck into Alex’s room 

The next day, his parents found her sleeping at the edge of his bed with his blanket draped over the edge also to cover Alex who slept on the floor

After it happened 3 more times, they stopped trying to separate the two 

She has clothes in the bottom drawer of Alex’s dresser

Alex’s number 1 protector

They made friendship bracelets, purple yarn for her and blue for Alex 

Luke and her = sibling energy 

Likes to wear other people's clothes

Makes her feel like they’re with her and she’s not alone

Literally carrying their love with her

It started with one of the shirts her dad left behind 

She likes Alex’s hoodies, Luke’s beanies and in the Summer she’ll snag one of his sleeveless tees, Reggie’s flannels and in the Winter his leather jacket, Bobby’s t-shirts and vests

The guys knock on her door when they can’t find the item they want to wear because they know she has it

She and Alex remade their friendship bracelets to include Luke (Orange)

She made them remake them later once Bobby (Green) and Reggie (Red) became part of their little group

All 5 of them wear it no matter what

She likes to draw

Was the first to befriend Bobby in art class

She admired him from afar (because look at him) and wondered what he did, given that he always slept in the class

One time while waiting for Alex and Luke to get out of detention, she walked around school and caught Bobby in the art room

His back was to her and he wore headphones as he painted

She loved his piece and wondered why he never did anything in class

Wrote him sticky notes encouraging him to show his work

Eventually, he wrote back saying he’d reveal his work if she revealed who she was

It was a deal and they started talking more afterwards

Luke was upset when he learned she was friends with Bobby 

Mostly because he thought Bobby was a dick (a dick he tried to be friends with first but failed) 

TEASER

[arkiwii]

What Gets Me about Saria wishing to protect Silence's 'naive vision' of science, is that Joyce Moore is Right There, hugging Silence, so she gets it already. Another Liberi woman got a brain implant implant shoved into her head and then treated like a freak after they got their results, and nobody but Joyce really remembers Dellareed! And iirc it took Saria's involvement to remind Rhine Lab to leave the two owls alone, at Rhine and at Rhodes. And Silence doesn't see that til Lone Trail!

Silence may have been aware already that science can go far, when she learned what happened to Joyce, she expected this to be a line that Rhine Lab disagreed to cross;

Parvis himself said that this was too much after all, and he did said that Joyce herself volunteered to be the test subject.

From this point, Silence have in mind that scientists will go far on their own experiment, and pay the price, which is something that should not happen. She was not expecting that science would take innocent lives, without their consent, with the pure goal to create weapons, which is what happened to Ifrit.

Whereas Parvis actually meant that Joyce's life was worth more than Ifrit's - and the other children who died in the experiment - because she was a valuable asset to science. Olivia was not expecting that science would be putting a worth on lives, and be ready to dispose of many "unworthy" lives for their experiments.

So despite the fact she was well aware of what happened to Joyce, she was not expecting it to be worse, she was not expecting that if Joyce's sacrifice was regretable, it was not because her future and person have been ruined, but because they lost an important researcher. Silence never thought that science would be so selfish.

Saria tried to protect Silence, by trying to hide the truth from her, sure, but also by trying to keep her outside of it. That this whole thing is not hers to bear, that she should just stay at Rhodes Island, live her life without being bothered of it, and let Saria deal with it. Of course, Silence actively disagrees with it, she's not a precious little thing that should be kept away, she's not a weak, naive woman, and she hates being seen as such.

Anyway, there's a lot to say. Saria keeps on thinking that her role is to protect the "weak" ones, but Silence doesn't want to be kept into the dark because they believe that someone like her should not be affected by this all. She can't keep on depending on everyone, she can't just put her hopes into other; in the end, the only person able to do something is herself. And that she did this opened Saria's eyes, she realized that she should not let herself take all the weight on her shoulder, and trust Silence.

Their whole dynamic was "the strongest one protecting the weaker one", but now, they walk on the same level, and it's what they learned to do in Lone Trail.

[tuliharja]

BLEACH: Thousand-Year Blood War - The Conflict episode 7 review

This episode was awesome! It truly got my blood pumping with everything finally rolling into action and some action being taken! Not forgetting some sassiness~!

I must admit I chuckled when Mayuri and Nemu took their own private elevator, that wasn't that private. The fact Mayuri was ready to do some unthinkable things while no one would be looking (all for the name of science!) just to get caught by Kenpachi. xD It was hilarious how Mayuri had all but a mini-heart attack when Kenpachi strolled through his private elevator all sassily. Also, as a side note, it was kind of cute how despite Kenpachi appearing all rough and such, he diligently dried his hands when using the toilet like a good boy he is! Luckily Mayuri stayed behind, just so he wasn't left out of action. Along with his posse. The fact they dragged Hanataro along with them was a bit odd, but I suppose just like with the main shinigami group they knew a healer is a must in a battle.

Unfortunately, the main shinigami group's healers went down almost right away... Which made me think, uh, kido anyone? Like anyone? I feel like after a certain point Bleach threw into a trash can any "lesser" kido spells and now those are exclusive material to some OP people like Aizen. Which...isn't true. When Lille Barro started to shoot his shots, I get it when Hisagi went at first down it took everybody by surprise, but after that? It just felt like creators and animators were "oh no, we allowed too many characters to enter Wahr Welt, gotta weed them out." As manga readers know, there will be a few main battles that are mostly solo ones. But even so...it felt a bit odd. Of course, one could say they (not captain-level shinigami or Rukia and Renji who were trained by Ichibe) couldn't create any kido spells to protect themselves because Wahr Welt is the Quincies' turf, but even so...

Anyway, Renji vs. Uryuu Ishida was marvelous! Those who are anime-only watchers might not know this, but this fight wasn't shown in the manga. (Not to mention several other scenes in this episode, but a bit later on about that.) It was very joyful to see Renji using his real Bankai against Uryuu. It truly felt like Renji's hardworking training underneath Ichibe paid off! Not to mention, what's so bad just using brute force? Especially when Uryuu wasn't that different in the end. Or, at least I couldn't see any epic strategy behind his attacks, except from the 'I've few aces in my sleeve' and in the end, they're stronger than their opponent. Renji put up an excellent fight but sadly lost in the end to Uryuu. I'm not sure if it was about strength, but maybe because he hesitated as Uryuu guessed? Hard to write. But did anyone notice, once again, that we're going with parallels with this all? This fight ultimately made me think of Renji vs. Byakuya. The fact Renji showcased his true Bankai with pride, using his brute force and his opponent taunting him because of that? And the end 'the reason why you lost' speech? Yeah, reminded me awfully lot of from Renji's battle against Byakuya. Unlike Byakuya, it seems like Uryuu shattered Renji's reiryoku center. Which basically would render him useless, unlike in Byakuya's case Byakuya only shattered Renji's pride... Let's hope that isn't the case because then Renji would become a big burden to everybody and his career as a Gotei 13 member would end. I'm just waiting for someone to pop up in the next episode and help him!

Grimmjow deciding to join Ichigo's group, just to deviate from that was funny. His whole chase against Askin Nakk Le Vaar was something that didn't happen in the manga, but I'm glad it did happen in the anime! He truly showed his panther side and the fact he transformed his hands into his claws? So cool! However, it was a bit dirty for Askin to use his poison ball against Grimmjow. I mean, cat instincts seemed to be strong in Grimmjow...

As a side note, it was interesting when Ichigo's group was heading toward Yhwach they were on the street level while both Nelliel and Grimmjow used rooftops to move along. I'm not sure if their animal part played in that or if it was a tactical move as the higher you're, the better you can see, hence, Grimmjow spotted Askin first.

If we go to the beginning of the episode when Yhwach sends his Quincies to fight against the Shinigami and Ichigo's group, I couldn't help but wonder why Yhwach didn't use Uryuu's full name? It just felt odd. I would have understood if the others didn't have last names, but some of them had, so it felt odd. Also, the whole sending them off was very cool, but somehow comical? I don't know, it felt like a big baddie move where the Big Bad sends his henchmen to fight against the heroes, or in this case, maybe the analogy of King sending his most elite knights to fight evil demons would be more suitable? It depends on whose side one is and who we view as bad guys and good guys.

Gerald Valkyrie shouting he is ready to face all shinigami was funny. The fact that Bazz-B, Liltotto, and Giselle went on their own way, just for Giselle to call out they're back home was also funny. And I've to ask...did Jugram have a gigantic mirror TV he used to watch everything unravel while Yhwach was on a nap? I'm not sure if it's day or night in Warh Welt, but because Jugram is Yhwach's 'night' and if Yhwach decided to take a nap during the day...he would need a mirror TV just to see what's going on during actual night he would have Almighty. Unless there really isn't night and day during Warh Welt? Or it's both at the same time? Or when Yhwach adsorbed the whole Soul King Jugram can't really anymore use Almight? But yeah, it seemed like he had a huge mirror TV.

[tobyfoxfacts]

SHOULD TOBY FOX BE PRESIDENT??

Heres the pros and cons

Pros

1. He made a game all about befriending your enemies.

He's a natural at building bridges so he may be able to repair any hard feelings between countries that the US cut off in the past.

2. He's a business man

Toby is self employed and has people who works under him. He started from the bottom. He worked on his first game in someone's basement. He earned his success.

3. He's great at money management and project planning

He made undertale pretty much on his own and organized any assistance he needed. He's great working on teams and had done many collaborations.

4. He likes the girls and the gays!!

Toby would let us all be trans and queer. He has 2 lesbian couples in his games, a non binary main protagonist, and is a total mommas boy. He wouldn't wanna take away her rights.

5. He doesn't hate drag queens

Toby has been seen wearing skirts and dresses as costumes or cosplays. He's worn makeup and dresses for costumes.... so he wouldn't hate someone for doing the same.

6. He supports the environment

Toby has a degree in environmental science. Why would he get a degree in that if he didn't believe in global warming? He would help repair the environment and make our country more echo friendly. As a science major he knows vaccines aren't fake and would be a great role model.

7. He slips under the discrimination radar

This is cynical, but based on Toby's appearance, he has advantages in the political world. "Straight looking," pale skinned, rich, Christian, cisgender man who went to a prestigious college. So, heck... he'd get a chance even if he genuinely sucked because politics are rigged. Even if he thought Hulu was part of Hawaii and they made a streaming service... he would still make it to the finals.

Don't let anyone find out he's a dress wearing autistic furry that makes songs about mpreg.

8. He has a great education

Toby went to a college that focuses on law and business. There's a chance that he took some classes on the side about those subjects.

9. He's a level headed guy and stays out of drama

Toby's never gotten caught up in drama and he's not a trouble starter. He'd never initiate a war.

10. G-n outlaws

We already know that Toby isn't enthusiastic about violence and believes in thinking before hurting. He would totally make more anti g-n proposals

11. He loves animals

He'd totally help prevent animal cruelty and k1ll shelters. Toby literally thinks he's a dog...

12. He hates taxes

He grew up in New Hampshire so moving to Boston must have been a shocker. He might be able to make taxes more reasonable, or do something useful with the money.

13. Japan loves him

His buddies in Japan (zun, sakurai, etc) have said Toby blends right in with the people in Japan. He's very polite. SUPER important.

14. He's young

He's level headed and isn't fucked on dementia medication while making life altering decisions for the next generation. He's involved and up to date with modern culture, and knows what people want.

15. He's a cutie

Must I say more?

16. He's a cultural icon

Gen z would vote for him cause they already know Toby's great. Plus everyone who doesn't care about politics would find it hilarious to see toby in the white house.

Why toby shouldn't be president

1. He's too short to see over the podium

2. He's stage fright

3. He'd eat the declaration of independence

4. He doesn't want to be

5. No more delrarune :(

[choicesficwriterscreations]

June MC of the Month: Dr. Casey MacTavish Carrick

Please welcome our fifth MC of the month! Each month, we will highlight one MC or OC that is currently on our Meet My MC / OC List. The MC / OC is selected randomly on the Wheel of Names, and eligibility requirements can be found here. We accept MC / OC profiles on an ongoing basis. Please feel free to send yours in!

This month's MC of the month is...

@jerzwriter's Casey MacTavish Carrick.

Learn more about Casey and her creator, Elsa, below.

In your words, tell us what you like most about your MC. 

There are many things I love about Casey. First and foremost, she’s genuine.  What you see is what you get; she has no time for games or being fake.  She wears her heart on her sleeve, and even though that has burned her in the past, she refuses to allow it to change the person is.  She’s passionate about her beliefs and does not back down.  She is very serious when she needs to be - at work, when dealing with a crisis, or engaged in activism - but in her personal life, she’s playful, quirky, and not afraid to make an idiot out of herself (or others) to have some fun.  She really tries to live every day to its fullest, even when it’s difficult to do so.  

Do you feel your MC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

In some ways, yes; in others, no. We’re both passionate about our beliefs and fight for them. We were both activists from a young age, and that's an important part of our lives. We try not to take life too seriously and to enjoy the journey more than the destination. And the people we love mean more to us than anything else. most. 

However, Casey has her shit together to a level I have never been able to achieve. lol She’s a doctor, and I barely passed my science classes. And her husband is FAR superior to any of my exes (if I had what she does, I'd make sure they never became exes). lol What can I say? Fictional men written by women are just better. 

What is most important to your MC? What is their motivation in life?

People matter the most to her. It was her motivation for going into medicine and what has driven her activism.  She can’t witness problems and gross inequity and not attempt to do something to solve them. She believes if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. 

She almost lost her mother as a young child, and she almost lost her own life as a resident, and again in her 30s, so she values every day and lives with the understanding that we all have expiration dates.  There is no day but today - and she uses that to push herself. 

Her career is very important to her, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the people she loves.  She is fiercely loyal, and when she loves someone, she loves them for life.  Tobias and their girls are her world, and they have plenty of family - real and found - surrounding them.  

Casey wants to leave the world better than it was when she entered it.  She has worked tirelessly for equity for all. As a proud bisexual woman, she has fought for women's and LGBTQ rights. Growing up in a diverse community, in a city that has residents living in both extreme poverty and excessive wealth, she loathes inequality. As such, racial and social justice issues, as well as equal access to healthcare are important issues to her. She is appalled that people die in one of the wealthiest nations in the world simply because they don’t have insurance.  That becomes her biggest mission. 

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes? 

Pretentiousness. She’s not a fan of affluence, and she's automatically suspicious of people who have too much. That’s a struggle for her and Tobias initially because he is extremely wealthy. It took a lot of work, and some changes and compromises, for them to rectify that.

Intolerance. People who feel the need to control how others live their lives incense her. She has no use for people who espouse racist, misogynistic, and homophobic views.

Hypocrisy and phoniness.  She’s a genuine soul, and she expects the same in return.  She can usually sense when someone is inauthentic, and she will do her best to keep such people out of her inner circle.  

If your MC could change one thing - anything - what would it be? 

She would change the world.  She would rid it of many -isms. More than anything, she’d like to see a world where people are truly judged by the content of their character, not by their race, gender, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic standing.  She knows the world is an unfair place, and it’s distressing to know how it is almost impossible to change it, but it doesn’t mean she won’t try.  But, if she were given a magic wand, she knows exactly what she’d do with it. 

What is your MC’s favorite quote or song?

“Love is a combination of care, commitment, knowledge, responsibility, respect, and trust.” - Bell Hooks - This is her guiding principle.  Love is not a noun, it’s a verb, and when we love people or things, we need to give them our full commitment and dedication.  One cannot be lazy about love. To whom much is given, much will be required (Luke 12:48) Although she was raised in the Catholic faith, Casey really had no use for organized religion and considered herself agnostic by the time she met Tobias.  Three things made her begin to believe in something greater: her near death after the chemical attack, the love she shares with Tobias, and the birth of their first child, Samantha.  She NEVER becomes a bible thumper, nor does she believe there is one "true" religion. She considers herself more spiritual than religious, but this bible quote resonates with her.  Especially after she and Tobias were sure they would share a future together.  Given his level of wealth, she insisted this would be how they would live and raise their daughters. She has a zillion favorite songs, but the four songs that she and Tobias selected for their wedding will forever hold a special place in her heart.  They are All of Me by John Legend, Spend My Life With You by Eric Benet, Every Time I Close My Eyes by Babyface, and You Make Me Feel Brand New by The Stylistics.  Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC: (It can be why you created them, how they’ve inspired you, or you could write a little blurb as if it is coming from your MC - an acceptance speech. :) ) 

Casey’s sunny demeanor leads most who don’t know her well to believe she has had a charmed life.  But that's not true. Casey made a decision to have a bright outlook - whenever possible - because of the struggles she faced.  Nearly losing her mother at a young age, seeing her family struggle under the mountain of medical debt, and coming to terms with her sexuality were all defining moments of her younger years…. And each one played a part in the anxiety that remains an issue for her throughout her life.  These struggles all left scars but also helped her become the woman she is today. 

Her unlikely romance with Tobias Carrick faced challenges at first, but once they realized that they both accepted that they had found “the one,” they were all in for life. They’re alike in many ways… outgoing, flirtatious, full of life, and, yeah, horny. Lol, But their differences complimented each other.  Tobias is so self-assured, and he helps Casey build her confidence.  Casey’s authenticity helps Tobias get in touch with his authentic self, and together, they live their very best lives.

To learn more about Case, please see her character bio and Casey & Tobias's masterlist.

[ivenvs3000f24]

5: Storytelling and science communication

For this blog post, I thought that I would talk a little bit about my experiences interpreting nature through science in relation to this week’s reading, and how my perspective has changed on this topic.

Last semester, I took ENVS*3240 (Creative Writing for Environmental Sciences) which is a course I highly recommend for anyone interested in gaining more writing skills and looking at environmental science through an interesting perspective. As my final independent project, I wrote a collection of short stories based on conversations and research about tree roots.

The first story I wrote for the project was entirely research based. I wanted to write a seed-to-rot account of a tree’s life in as much scientific detail as I could. The result was a three-page story (plus a page of just references) about Syrian Juniper (Juniperus drupacea) that sounded like this excerpt:

While I like the flow of my writing in this piece, the story was bogged down with a lot of vocabulary and minute details that would likely be confusing to anyone who hadn’t taken a biology class somewhat recently. The language used might make it boring even—who wants to wade through all that vocab?

Other stories I wrote were based on interviewees’ personal experiences and utilized much more accessible language to communicate their message. For example, look at this excerpt from a story about someone’s experiences playing on a fallen tree as a child:

Without using much complex vocabulary, I managed to communicate the ecological importance of rotting wood much more clearly than I had in my research-based juniper story.

When I submitted my project, I knew that my strongest stories in the collection were those that avoided relying on too many scientific terms, but I couldn’t exactly articulate why they felt more impactful.

Watching Washington Wachira’s talk about birds in relations to Amanda’s remarks (“While [using scientific names and offering taxonomic history] might be useful in some scenarios, is that what our audience wants/needs? Or is it perhaps better to offer some other way to engage.”) has helped me to understand why this is the case.

Wachira describes many scientific concepts during his talk: ecological diversity, specialization, zoological classification, the connection between habitat and physiology, reproduction, scavenger behaviours, benefits of predation, pollination and more. He also describes human connections to birds (his own personal love for them, history, anthropology, economic benefits from avian tourism) and ultimately connects to environmental education when he talks about threats to conservation, citizen science and conservation efforts in Africa.

The first part of Wachira’s talk couldhave been alienating to those watching who are less familiar with biology if he hadn’t presented it in an engaging and accessible manner. Instead, Wachira’s creates a welcoming, story-driven environment for the audience to appreciate the diversity of birds. I think his approach, which avoids using too much scientific vocabulary, helps him engage his audience on a much deeper level.

Accessible language invites people in. It allows more people to be part of the conversation. And ultimately, I think audiences learn the most when they feel welcomed.

[psychcpomps]

( zendaya, 28, cis-woman, she/her ) ☼ i know it’s a small town, but i run into MALIA JAIDEN every time i go to WIZARD’S TOWER. it’s like they practically live there and not THE CINDER SAP FOREST for THEIR WHOLE LIFE. it must be because they’re ADAPTABLE and COLD. come to think of it, that’s probably why they’re an NURSE too. but i did hear they want to SELL THEIR MOM’S HOUSE, and sometimes they like to TEND TO THEIR SNAKES. rumor has it they also like PANCAKES, but dislike RUBIKS CUBES. what do you think?

full name — malia jaiden nickname(s) — none name meaning — malia: calm and peaceful. jaiden: god will judge, thankful one. age — twenty-eight date of birth — october 25th place of birth — stardew valley star sign — scorpio sun, scorpio moon, virgo rising  current location — stardew valley gender — cis-woman pronouns — she/her sexual orientation — lesbian religion — atheist  occupation — registered nurse  education level — bachelor of science in nursing family — mila jaiden ( deceased ), david harris ( father, estranged ), emma harris ( step-mother, estranged ), avery & celeste harris ( half-sisters, estranged ) finances — getting by  spoken languages — english, spanish

inspos: cristina yang ( greys anatomy ), jo march ( little women ), aragorn ( lord of the rings ), lip gallagher ( shameless ), jonathan byers ( stranger things ), monica geller ( friends ), chidi anagonye ( the good place ), kat stratford ( 10 things i hate about you ), theo crain ( haunting of hill house ), riley flynn ( midnight mass ), jamie ( haunting of bly manor )

tw: mentions of alzheimers, death of a parent, absent father

 “i want to stay with you forever,” malia says, staring up at her mother who reminds her of honey and little specks of everyday magic. she remembers her mother laughing, “forever is a long time. you might get bored.” it’s hard to tell a six year old no, even harder to remind the sixteen year old that once upon a time all she wanted to do was be with her mom. malia had plans after high school. she was going to become someone, except she had no idea what she wanted to do, she just knew that she needed to go. 

throughout her life traveling had always been a thing that her and her mom did when it came to sports that malia played, and for her graduation present they were going to go to europe. then, malia’s mom got sick. 

“i want to stay with you forever,” quickly turned to, “i will stay with you forever,” malia got the acceptance letter to columbia and told her mother that she didn’t get accepted, and by the time it mattered her mom forgot. 

malia took on the caregiving role, and commuted to the nearest school that she could to get her bachelors to become a registered nurse. her mom used to say if she had been smarter she would have been a nurse, and malia remembers braiding her hair and telling her that she could have if she wanted to, but that she was just fit to be a teacher. the first few years were hard, malia realizing the kind of impact her mom had on her community and how much unlike malia was to her mother was startling. where her mom was kindness, malia had a coldness to her. where her mom was gentle, malia pushed people away. it hadn’t always been like this, or maybe all of her bad qualities that had laid dormant came from her dad. 

her mom died about a year ago and she’s been living in her house ever since with the intentions to sell it but being unable to. she wouldn’t know where to go if she did. 

other stuff: 

malia is a vegetarian and has been her whole life

when she was a kid she used to "rescue" snakes ( she would actually snatch them poor things ) and ask her mom if she could keep them. eventually when she was old enough to have a pet her mom bought her a snake. she's had many snakes over the years and is obsessed. her snakes now are mexican black king snake, a corn snake, and a ball python

owns a little black cat named bitty

malia smokes :/// she shouldn't as a nurse but she simply doesn't care

only has had one serious relationship that she ended due to not being able to be there for people emotionally

her mom was probably most if not all of the valley's school teacher lol

malia is a good nurse and is excellent at her job but her patients often tell her that she needs to smile bc she has a permanent sad face asdokfas

knows self defense and taekwondo because her mom thought it was important for her to be able to hold her own in case anything happened

her mom's house is a cottage with a beautiful garden that malia is desperately trying to tend to but she is not a botanist and tries hard to not be home to care for it :/

she needs a hug probably adlfasaslk;f

[harmonyckrs]

Give Me Back My Wife, Grim Reaper - Part 9

There she was. The Divine Harpist herself.

Something about her feels awfully familiar, but I'm not exactly sure what. I feel like I would've remembered her if I had seen her before - purple skin and pitch black eyes aren't common, after all.

And as I looked her in the eye, I could feel my stomach twitching as I struggled to catch my breath.

The Divine Harpist: It's nice to finally meet my creator!...you're just as much of a loser as I thought

Harper: You're...the Divine Harpist?

The Divine Harpist: Yep! I'm the manifestation of all of your fears and insecurity.

Harper: What are you doing here?

The Divine Harpist: I'm simply using my powers to make everyone in this world as terrified and insecure as you are.

Harper: But why?

The Divine Harpist: So we can finally feel like we're at the same level as everyone else...

Vidcund: Harpist! Where's Aktu?

The Divine Harpist: He's busy running errands for me. Now if you excuse me, I've got to get going. This place bores me, and you people do too. I want to find someone stronger and more intelligent.

Vidcund: Tell me where he is, you piece of-

The Divine Harpist: Shush. I have no interest in easy prey like you. I need to find someone more powerful.

Vidcund: You underestimate me! I'll-

The Divine Harpist: Shut up. Not interested. Goodbye.

The Divine Harpist: ...Haha, yes! So much fear and despair!

Circe: Who are you, and how did you get in my house?

The Divine Harpist: I am the Divine Harpist! And I'm here to feast upon your fears and insecurities!

Circe: Oh, so you're a LARPER. Get out of here, before I call the cops.

The Divine Harpist: The cops can't help you! I'm far more powerful than any cop combined! Now tell me...where is the source of all of this fear?

Circe: I told you to get out of my house already!

The Divine Harpist: Fine! I sense that feeling of fear and insecurity leaving this dreaded place, anyway...speaking of which, for someone who's experimenting on a living human, you should really get an actual front door.

Circe: Most people have the decency to not break in. And we're experimenting on him in the name of science. We're doing far more good than you ever will!

The Divine Harpist: Really! Tell me one discovery you've made with experimenting on him.

Circe: ...We haven't found any yet, but we'll find something eventually! He's the son of the Grim Reaper, after all! He has a far higher pain tolerance than normal people.

The Divine Harpist: You keep lying to yourself. I'll leave now. I've got better places to be and smarter people to talk to...have fun having your crimes exposed to the world.

As the Divine Harpist followed the path of fear and insecurity, her target unknowingly lead her directly to the Specters.

Olive: ...Orpheus? Is that you?...who's that woman behind you?

Nervous: Huh?

The Divine Harpist: Hello!...my, my! What a lovely graveyard you have. And it looks like you've designed every part of it yourself...the ghosts here are just shivering with fear.

Olive: Thank you. It was a lot of work, and took many years.

The Divine Harpist: I'm sure the local authorities will be happy to see it in all its glory! You've even got the elusive Lyla Grunt in here...the woman with the open missing case that's been ongoing for nearly five years. Lovely...

???: STOP IT!

The Divine Harpist: Goodbye, Olive Specter. I'll be sure to visit you behind bars...

While the Divine Harpist moved across Strangetown to spread fear, Crystal had received a visit from an unexpected visitor.

Crystal: Aktu, you're finally back! You've got a lot to explain!

Aktu: ...

Crystal: Aktu?

Aktu: It's meaningless. There's no point in anything...all that is built will be toppled down...

Crystal: Okay, you're being weird, and not in your typical eccentric artist way. Are you alright?

Aktu: ...Lazlo...where's Lazlo?

Crystal: He's busy. Don't bother looking for him. You can talk to me instead.

Aktu: ...No...must find...Lazlo...

Lazlo: (Damn, this place sucks...how long has it been? Did Crystal really design this place to look like a psych ward?)

*POOF*

Lazlo: AKTU?

Aktu: I...found you...

Lazlo: Dude, I was worried about you! Thought you died or some shit. Don't send any more of those cryptic letters and run off to Watcher-knows-where, alright? Or at least take me with you!

Aktu: You...were worried?

Lazlo: Of course I was, dude! Crystal was, too!...speaking of which, she locked me in here. You know how to get out?

Aktu: I...think I can...

Lazlo: And that's the story of how I broke out of Crystal's basement and found Aktu!

Aktu: Wow...so fascinating...

Zoya: (Harper really needs to find friends who are less weird.) Speaking of which, how are we supposed to restore Aktu back to normal? He's still being weird.

Aktu: I am?...oh no...I'm sorry.

Zoya: No, it's not your fault. We'll figure out a way to reverse it later, once the Divine Harpist has been defeated.

Lazlo: What the hell is the Divine Harpist?

Zoya: Oh, right, you weren't there. I'll fill you in...

The Divine Harpist: Finally, the last house...it took all night, but I can finally send this town into an endless plight of-

Harper: Harpist, nobody's even here. They left the door unlocked.

The Divine Harpist: Hm? How peculiar. I suppose I've made a mistake...we've got that in common, at least...

Harper: That's okay. You've tried your best. I'm sure you'll get them next time.

The Divine Harpist: Hm? Why are you encouraging me now?

Harper: Because I know what your weakness is now...

LOVE.

[parkeryangs]

in my heart matt woe.begone has such a weird relationship to identity/gender;

yeah, he's gay, he's been gay and everybody else knew it before he even knew what the word meant. that was fine—it meant there were no "surprises" when he came out in middle school, and his family, despite being religious, loved him the same as they always had.

he was the only queer kid in his backwater town but that was fine, too, he wasn't all that set on dating as it was. then he went to college and met mike and anne and the reat of their friends and his worldview was shattered; for the better, undeniably, but it left him reevaluating everything he'd taken as truth for the last decade.

anne was trans and so was mike's shitty boyfriend he'd had since high school, and matt sat next to someone in his history lecture that used they/them pronouns and it was all new and a bit terrifying, but he did his best to be respectful and learn whatever he could, turning to the internet for things he didn't want to bother his friends with.

it was scary because it felt familiar; the disconnect anne casually mentioned or the flash of something like jealousy following her thrill at passing in public when they took a trip to the mall—and, in leaps and bounds, matt realized he wanted that too. it wasn't an easy realization; he was fine with his identity the way it was, the way it had been, and any change felt like it might tear the world apart if he didn't tread carefully.

after class one day, he caught his history classmate by the shoulder and spoke in a rush. their name was felix and they studied biomedical science and they said hi to matt three times a week and they listened now as he spilled his guts and then some. i don't know who i am anymore and i'm scared, felix, what am i supposed to do. please tell me there's a right answer. it was a lot to unpack standing in the rundown history department, so, after a gentle suggestion from felix, they went to the coffee shop on campus and talked at a too-small table over half-cold coffee. it became a weekly ritual for them, every wednesday afternoon, like clockwork. felix jokingly called it gender therapy, once, which was closer to the truth than anything else.

the first time, matt says he doesn't feel like a boy and he doesn't know what that even means, really, but nothing else feels right either and feeling unsafe in your own body is a terrifying feeling. felix says they've been there, and together they drink coffee and sift through whatever resources they can dig up from the first page of a google search.

(the second time, matt says he doesn't feel quite like a girl, either, knows he's not totally a girl, though the thought of letting his hair grow out a bit and maybe, in the safety of his dorm room, trying on a skirt or two, still holds some level of curiosity to be explored.)

matt doesn't remember how many weeks at the coffee shop it took until he tells felix that nonbinary feels right, but eventually he does, adding that he still likes he/him or she/her pronouns better than anything else. whenever he tells mike, his friend says he's proud of matt and then returns a few days later with a button with the nonbinary flag from the pride center to put on his backpack, and they graduated years ago now but matt still has it even though he's pretty sure mike doesn't even remember giving it to him.

[jwenvs3000w24]

Blog 4: The Natural Art of the World

Hey everyone! Welcome back, today we’re looking at nature in art and the beauty of nature. Enjoy the reading and the pictures!

Nature comes in many different forms; the physical which is the tree’s, plants, animals, water and the physical stuff you can touch, the spiritual which is what the physical things mean to you and how you care about them, and there’s an artistic form too which can range from pictures to paintings to dances to stories to songs, all of which are beautiful in their own way. Every person and thing on earth has a different level of connection through each of these forms of nature. This triangle of form connection acts in a way that if someone is more connected to nature in a physical way they are not as connected to nature spiritually or artistically. Most people are mixes of two of the three forms, but usually they lean more strongly to one of them. For me, when I am interpreting nature on a hike I am most connected with nature spiritually with physical, but my lowest form of connection is artistically. I’ve never really been one to sit down and listen to music or look at paintings of different things, however, I will gladly look at pictures of things people have found or seen out in nature. 

This is a picture I took on Flowerpot Island, Tobermory of a lone birch tree on the beach, and thought about how much this tree has been through with all the storms, waves, and ice that lash against it with no remorse but yet it still pushes through and stands strong.

People perceive nature’s beauty through their forms of connection. The textbook talks about the ‘gift of beauty’ and defines it as how it, “should promote the ability, and desire to sense the beauty in one’s surroundings to encourage  conservation/preservation and allow for a stronger spiritual connection” (Beck et al., 2018). I like to think of this as looking at nature through someone else’s views. 

This is a painting done by Mark Nadjiwan (https://www.threetreesart.com/) of dragonflies. I purchased this painting for my mom who's favourite animal is a dragonfly, but also because the story behind it is amazing. It talks about combining western science views with the views of the indigenous peoples. I highly recommend everyone to look at the paintings and read their stories.

There is an outstanding artist that lives in Lion’s Head, Ontario whom I have purchased a few things from because of the beautiful stories that go along with each of the creations. This artist is Mark Nadjiwan. He is an indigenous artist who creates simple but complex indigenous art. He has a website:https://www.threetreesart.com/ which his creations can be found on. Every single work of art he creates has a meaning behind it along with an indigenous story of what entity it is about and what it means to the indigenous. Through the use of these different stories it ties in the many spiritual beliefs from indigenous people in ways that never really would have been thought about unless you grew up learning the stories. I would frequent his stand he set up to read the many stories he had and to purchase the ones that had the biggest impacts on me and the way I see the world. By reading these stories it helped me think about the animals I see everyday in a different way and it gave me more appreciation for them, even the animals that we consider “pests”.

Going back to the idea of the connection forms of nature, sometimes nature can display itself artistically that any person cannot resist to appreciate. For example, sunsets/sunrises are a form of natural painting on the world's biggest canvas. How many people do you know, when walking or driving and you see a sunset/sunrise, that don’t stop and look at all of the different colours for even a second?

This is a picture of my most handsomest puppy (Ripley) with a stunning sunset behind.

Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Please check in again next week for the next blog!

[sapenvs3000f23]

Unit 01: Relationship with Nature 🐿️

Describe your current relationship with nature. How has this developed/evolved? Who offered you “a sense of place,” as described in our textbook?

Hi everyone! My name is Sam (she/her) and this is my third year in the Bachelor of Science in Environmental Sciences (Ecology) program here at the University of Guelph. 

Like many, my positive relationship with nature developed from a young age. My fondest memories from childhood are homed by forests, rivers, and family gardens. Observing lily pads while canoeing with my mom, petting banded wooly bear caterpillars Pyrrharctia isabella on hikes, thanking trees for letting me climb their branches, and staying up late reading so I could identify every shell I found on the beach. I felt a strong urge to nurture nature as it did for me, despite the fact I had so much growth ahead.

The summer before highschool I started volunteering as a camp counselor at a farm on the Niagara Escarpment, where I found my “sense of place” in nature surrounded by free-roaming chickens, acres of horse pasture, and a group of children eager to learn about forming relationships with animals. Around the same time, I attended “Discovery Vet School” at the University of Guelph, which opened my eyes to the plausible academic future I had in the environmental sector. One of the lectures focused on the ethics of the meat industry; needless to say (against my family’s wishes) my stubborn grade 9 self was vegetarian by the time I got home— an ethical decision that has stuck with me these past seven (7) years. In highschool, I also started volunteering with and fostering for the Humane Society and private animal rescues. With a focus on neonatal kittens, my desire to research the biology and behaviour behind animals skyrocketed. At the same time, I was mesmerized by how deeply bonded I felt to each individual in my care (over 50 cats and kittens by the time I was moving away!). These deep bonds transitioned to plant life too. I started working for a local garden centre and conservation area in my last year of high school, which brought along incredible mentors and life-long friendships built on the foundation of a love for nature. Every plant, animal, and component of our natural environment was solidified in my mind as a someone instead of a something.

Furthermore, I spent Summer 2023 as a full-time Plant & Biocontrol Research Assistant at Vineland Research & Innovation Centre, where I contributed to a variety of experimental projects involving plants, insects, and growth substrates. Whether I was identifying/tracking microscopic insects, testing soil pH levels from Ontario conservation areas, conducting biostimulant fieldwork, or caring for hundreds of greenhouse plants, each day took my passion for ecology to a more feasibly impactful level— I loved it! However, this newfound “measurement of impact” came from a western science perspective spent in labs where all my observations were easily transferable to a spreadsheet. When I was tired from long days of work, it was still nature that would soothe my aches and cradle my mental exhaustion. Evenings spent digging around in my home garden and harvesting vegetables grown without the grand purpose of contributing to scientific reports. Evenings spent reading in the grass accompanied by my family cat and best friend, Delilah, while watching insects crawl between the words of the book I was reading. Evenings spent climbing the backyard tree that had watched me like a grandmother through every stage of life, even though I couldn’t swing on her low hanging branches like I once did. 

These moments after work, coupled with summer weekends spent hiking or kayaking, lead my story to right now. I’ve returned to the University of Guelph, taking on the role of ecology student for my third year. My “sense of place” within nature has truly blossomed here, where I spend my academic life studying our complex ecological world and my personal life finding natural influences in the music, clothing, activities, and friendships I immerse myself in. The relationship I share with nature is constantly evolving, and I’m looking forward to exploring the intricacies (and sharing them with you!) during our Nature Interpretation course this semester :)

[hoonvrs]

answering your reply to my Long Ago ask bc i finally have time 😝

i def dont know who we're talking abt but twins makes me fearful bc that can never be good

'i'm tis but a little girl in this big world' is so funny to me i am just going to live by this now it seems Legit

16 has been good so far, i love hanging out with friends n family <3 hoping for some romance tho bc my life is BORINGNGNGNN

no but ur right im here just to share my silly little delusions with other ppl <3<3 i feel sad tho school has NAWT been giving me time to BREATHE

NAURURRRR im 100% a science girlie... esppspspspsp chemistry like ooooh i love science . numbers HAVE failed me many times but i am starting to love pure maths (stats can suck my dick) and i must say functions are such a very sexy topic mhmhmmmmm

i hope the rest of your vacation goes well to, there rlly is a LAWNG time before october 😭 AND PSYCHOLOGYYGYGYYYYYYY OMFFGFGFGFGFG that is so cool . i rlly waned to take psychology (my school offers AS level psychology but i took full science el oh el) manannannnn its such a cool subject?

bae i will nvr leave the im but a little girl mindset it keeps me sane❤️

16 is such a perfect age you don’t understand cause it’s the transition from highschool to sixth from or college ( in the uk at least ) just finishing gcses then start a level first year💔💔 i miss it

STATS CAN KISS MY ASS i do it now in uni for my degree and it makes sense but at the same time doesn’t at all😭 but maths you will always be famous to me😻

thanks bae i think i might need to start job hunting🤕 cause i can’t keep spending these holidays doing nothing with no bank

but psychology is v cool imo! just has some boring subjects and has a VERRYY science heavy based areas which guess who’s not happy with that😁 ME

but all in all it’s very interesting but all theory’s which is funny for me cause i’m someone who likes logic and clear cut answers 💀

ANYWAYS THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG enjoy the rest of ur day nyxie and good luck with school!