#from not writing a single fic ever to doing nearly a whole month minus the days replaced with art was one hell of a ride

[eustasscapitankid]

it might be late--but i'm so close to being done with the last fic for kikitober ~

[fizzysquish]

I'd really like to hear about your opinion on the ahit fandom if youre ok with sharing? love your writing by the way!!

Oh wow I actually didn't expect anyone to wanna know yifhfkhck

And thank you!

Alright this is.. Gonna be long and most likely have some spelling errors every now and then but bear with me.

Tw- talk of pedophilia, swear words

Tldr at the very bottom

The ahit fandom..

...sucks

But also doesnt? Its kind of hard to explain. In general, if you just glance at the fandom it will either come across as pure or as a shit show. This fandom has some serious problems.

This fandom has a lot of drama happy people in it. Im not going to name names or anything, cause there's no point, but it does. A single scroll through the tags will tell you that much. And this isnt me saying 'people can't have opinions' or what have you. What im saying is that there are people in this fandom who live just to stir up drama and make others angry.

Or, in a lot of cases, instead of just saying a persons opinion, they'll swear up a storm and say they hate certain people or call certain types of fans 'the problem with the fandom' and like.. That just makes you sound like an asshole honestly. And it hurts people, too.

(And nobody can tell me it doesn't. Ive had to reassure too many venting and upset friends because of it. It hurts people.)

Also, because you know I have to mention this and it fits perfectly after this first paragraph- subcon. Snatcher.

I legitimately do not understand why some people hate snatcher so much. And I also cannot understand why some people will specifically target snatcher fans at times.

Snatcher is a big comfort character for a lot of people. Wether its for personal reasons (ex- mine is because of my own past dealing with abuse and trauma), or if its just because they make someone happy.

Snatcher is a comfort character, and the whole story surrounding subcon is so so interesting and fun to explore? And so what if people enjoy it? I can understand that it can get frustrating seeing so much of it, especially if you like something else, but that is no reason to target snatcher fans (or.. Any fans in general) and/or make people feel bad for having fun.

Fuck, thats how you make people leave the fandom entirely. I understand it can get frustrating, but just.. Try to be nicer? Try not to make people feel bad for having fun? Please?

And before anyone tells me "it's not about that!", i want to point out that I often see posts like "don't let the snatcher fans see this-" and other things along that.

If you want me to believe its not about that, prove it. Cause as far as i can tell, it certainly is.

(Also as a note- who cares is someones thirsty??? Like

Just block them and avoid if it bugs you so much?? It's not that hard dude)

-THIS PARAGRAPH MENTIONS PEDOPHILLIA, SKIP IF NEEDED-

Another serious thing to mention is the pedophilia in this fandom. Feel free to skip this part  if it makes you uncomfortable, but its something i need to talk about.

There are pedophiles in this fandom. Ive seen the art and the fics (no matter how many times i scrub my eyes, because its disgusting and horrible and just- eugh-). There are pedophiles here and its easy to come across them because they just.. Aren't afraid to post in main tags. People follow them. People support them. Granted, not everyone, and generally most people know to avoid em, but they're still there. They havent been kicked out or ostracized. And it disgusts me.

I know this whole paragraph could be argued that "that doesn't represent the fandom!" Or whatever but.. This is a younger audiences welcome game guys. Its advertised as 'the cutest 3d platformer!'. Kids can and do play this game.

There is pedophilia in this fandom, and i feel its important to mention.

-END OF PARAGRAPH-

Also, some people in this fandom just.. Suck. Plain and simple. Some people in this fandom are just genuine assholes. And said asshole just like harassing others and causing problems. There's a literal shit ton of drama and problems with this fandom, and honestly it's.. So dumb??

This is literally just a video game and people are just having fun. If there's a problem, treat it like a grown up and either ask the causes to stop and why, or block and move on. Simple.

Now lets move onto the good parts of this fandom, yeah?

First of all- there are some serious sweethearts and amazing people in this fandom. While there are some that suck, there are more that are actually just here for a good time and to make good content.

Ive met some of the nicest people ivs ever known thanks go this fandom. Ive created friends who I seriously consider family. And most people ive talked with or even just ran across have been pretty cool.

This fandom is also generally very welcoming to new people (minus the assholes), ive noticed. Some people get into it really easily just because eveyones generally friendly and supportive. Which is always great!

Also, the fanworks people in this fandom create. Can i just talk about how fucking talented people are??? Its pretty amazing to see how people create things for this fandom.

People will take the story that gears for breakfast showed and they'll run with it, and create these amazing au’s and stories and 'what ifs' from it. Its just.. So amazing to watch people use what we've been given just weaved it into something.

(And this isnt even going over the mods and the stories those create, which always amaze me.)

So with all that laid out, do i think the fandom good or bad?

...i think its both.

The fandom itself has some serious problems in it. It gets unnecessary drama nearly every other month or so for no reason. There are some truly disgusting people and some absolute assholes, but the majority of people are actually pleasant, fun to be around, and welcoming. As long as you be careful of who you follow and use critical thinking skills, its not so bad.

Im not going to lie to someone and say it's all honkey dory. In this fandom, you will inevitably interact with either a creep, an asshole, or both at some point. There is a likely chance that you will have your feelings hurt in some way in this fandom. Ive see it, ive heard about it, ive experienced it.

All that being said, if you curate your viewing, follow people that seem/are cool, and use the block feature (don't. Debate it, if youre unsure about someone just block em)... Its a very fun fandom filled with both heartfelt creations and memes, and has plenty of potential new friends.

So its both good and bad, yeah.

Tldr-

Fandom has lotsa issues but overall is fun, just make sure curate your experience for yourself and dont let what drama pops up or what assholes say get to you.

[annakie]

Am I once again posting about the Voyager Relaunch Novels?  Yes.  Yes I am.

I am re-reading the Post-Endgame Voyager Relaunch novels and marathoned reading The Eternal Tide over the last two nights and all I have to say is Janeway and Chakotay love each other so much, I was literally sobbing through about six sections of the second half of that book.  

The Kirsten Beyer books are SO GOOD.  And as I’m re-reading them I love how she handles every single one of the Voyager characters but especially Chakotay.  I feel like she understands Chakotay and gives him everything the writers of Voyager never quite grasped about his character in seven seasons.  Full Circle is such a powerful story of his love and his grief, and the rest of the crew’s love for him (especially Tom, B’lanna, Harry and Sev-- wow his friendship with Seven is so awesome throughout the Beyer books, everything it should have been in the show and not what we got in Endgame.  The support they have for each other without forcing a cringey relationship back onto them adds so much to BOTH of their characters.  Hey this paragraph went way off the rails but I don’t care.)

Anyway I really love the plots of each of these books, I love how they handle EVERY character (well, I miss Tuvok -- at some point I’m gonna get to the Titan novels) and the new characters are pretty great (oh man Cambridge is a fave, and so much better than the new consular that was introduced in the Spirit Walk books.  Loved Eden, love Farkas.)

I made a post a few days ago about how Chakotay is the whole “upstanding, solid, good guy” archetype that some people dare to call “boring” I’ve previously talked at length in a post about Mass Effect about how that’s just... my favorite kind of character.  And Chakotay is just... so that.  It also made me realize that the Janeway / Chakotay dynamic is also very similar to a Shepard / Kaidan dynamic (powerful commanding officer of her own ship woman character, solid, good, honorable mature right-hand man first officer (or close to it) male character and maybe that’s why they’re both two of my favorite ships.

Anwyay here’s some spoilery thoughts about The Eternal Tide.

Chakotay telling Seven about his relationship with Janeway evolving before she died, and how he doesn’t think he’ll ever love any other woman!

Confirmation that Chakotay was thinking about proposing when they were supposed to met in Venice!??!  What!?

Janeway thinking about Chakotay right after her resurrection and how deeply she feels for him and wondering about how her death affected him!  Also I kind of love that Chakotay DIDN’T come to her mind when deciding whether to return to life or not?  This was her decision and making it about A Man I think would have made it feel less about her and how she knew she would be taking responsibility for The Multiverse, which is what it absolutely should have been about.  Realizing what her death would have done to him basically the second she was alive again... that part was so well written.  I loved it.  Her relationship shouldn’t become the basis of who she is -- but it adds to her.

Their... reunion... scene... almost being ruined by Q... Chakotay’s utter shock and disbelief and the description of him slowly beginning to have his heart open up to the possibility, him inching closer to her as she’s thinking that maybe she’s made a mistake and understands just how deeply her death hurt him... that.... entire... SCENE.  (Actually about once a year I dig that book and Full Circle out just to read their getting together / reunion scenes.)

Getting Seven’s reaction to Janeway was also very, very good.  I wish they hadn’t cut past the scene where the rest of the Voyager staff sees her for the first time but we did get a little taste of it.

Um okay and then Janeway tells Chakotay she loves him for the first time and he says it back, naturally but like, this is as Chakotay was preparing to go on a suicide mission?  SOBBING.  They didn’t even get a day together, but at least they got to say goodbye this time.

Janeway forcing herself not to think about Chakotay’s death because things just got so much more dire.

Yes they won, but Janeway all alone on the battle bridge and she can’t even bring herself to contact Voyager yet because she just needs time to mourn Chakotay for a few seconds and takes a few seconds, a few breaths, a few moments... and then... OMG.... Chakotay is returned by Godson Q just before his death and they’re so happy... I CANNOT.

THE EPILOGUE where they’re in bed and had spent every possible moment together and so casual and free and happy together... it’s everything we ever wanted for seven seasons and seven more books.

--

Oh I started this post now almost a week ago and now I’m a few books forward and hey am I now going to talk about Protectors?  Yes, yes I am.

J/C don’t get to spend a lot of time together in this book.  Janeway gets sent back to the Alpha Quadrant to undergo counseling and evaluation which, tbh, is totally valid considering she DIED A VIOLENT HORRIBLE DEATH and then WAS DEAD FOR FOURTEEN MONTHS and then you know RESURRECTED AND IMMEDIATELY HAD TO SAVE THE MULTIVERSE oh yeah not to mention WAS REUNITED WITH THEN HAD TO TELL CHAKOTAY GOODBYE FOREVER A FEW HOURS LATER then oh wait THE MAN SHE LOVES WAS ALSO BROUGHT BACK FROM THE DEAD (or the brink of death, whatever.)

There’s a short and sweet goodbye scene then for the bulk of the book Janeway is back on Earth going to counseling (which, that second counseling scene was so great, and seeing her slow down and enjoy life with her mother was so great, and um also that scene with her and Picard?  Wow.  Just Wow.  Also I can’t wait to go back and read some TNG books because I need to see JL/B actually get together.)  And the entire time she’s just like... not even doubting her relationship with Chakotay even a little.  She thinks of him and is excited to be reunited but every time it’s like “the man I love” “The person I plan on spending the rest of my life with” and even “the love of my life.”  WOW.  Just Wow.  Chakotay worries a bit but never doubts.

Oh and then she basically tells her commanding officer “yeah um, thanks but I absolutely have no plans on curbing my relationship with Chakotay to make you feel more comfortable.  Also JL/B and Riker/Troi are all married so fuck you?”  She does agree to keep separate quarters on another ship which is like.. fine... whatever.  But also her going “Yes he’s my subordinate but we’re not going to let that affect our working relationship, we’re adults.” Fuck. Yeah.  Montgomery asks if they’re gonna get married and Janeway is all “IDK, probably? We’ll let you know.”

And B’Elanna asks Chakotay the same thing and his answer is also basically “Yeah at some point, we haven’t talked about it yet but yeah we’re spending the rest of our lives together now stop prodding me.”

Their reunion when she returns doesn’t go as planned and it’s a teensy bit worrisome at the end but with notes of positivity.

--

OK I’m only about 1/3rd into Acts of Contrition but I got to a part last night that made me put the book down for a minute and thank Kirsten Beyer out loud.

J/C finally get to spend some time alone several days after she makes it back to the fleet in the Delta Quadrant.  They have a brief discussion about The Plot, then Chakotay is like “Know what?  We’ll talk about The Plot Stuff tomorrow in the briefing.  Let’s instead talk about us.”  And then he stands up for what he wants!  And Janeway listens, and they talk, and agree!  And then Chakotay is like “Okay, now I really want to hear about what happened to you back on Earth for all those weeks!”  So... literally they just... sit and talk for several hours like, I don’t know, real people would?  There’s no drama!  And they both affirm their commitment to each other and their relationship!

It’s just... it’s... so good?  Their relationship is so solid!  They LOVE EACH OTHER and it’s based on their solid friendship (something else they actually say out loud!) and they talk to each other and there’s no like drama for drama’s sake about their relationship so far and it’s like, better than even any fanfic I’ve ever read (and there’s some great fic out there for these two) because nearly every other character is also getting their screentime and character development (minus Tuvok -- who’s off with Riker and Troi on the Titan and Neelix isn’t around much -- though he’s spoken of and we see him a bit when they visit New Talax).  Also it’s... beta canon.  No matter what, this is real and accepted beta canon.

I have been going back and listening to all the episodes of the Literary Trek podcast episodes about these books, and for Eternal Tide and Protectors Beyer herself was on the podcast and listening to her talk about Chakotay and Janeway both individually and as a couple her love for them both is clear, she loves the show and knows what she’s doing and is allowed to do it, and her writing is so damn good.  One of the hosts of the podcast has said in several episodes that he used to really dislike Chakotay as he was in the show and now book Chakotay is one of his favorite characters.  And honestly? I do love show Chakotay but book Chakotay is... everything show Chakotay should have been.  But he’s also been through hell and back and I love how Beyer used that experience -- and now Janeway’s resurrection experience -- to advance them BOTH individually and how that’s affected them as a couple now that they actually get to be that.

There’s so much other good in these books.  Tom and B’Elanna’s storyline and the way she writes them and their marriage... I could write so much about it.  Harry gets better characterization!  A plotline!  A promotion!  A love interest that may actually work out?!!? We’ll see.  And SEVEN. Wow. So much happens with Seven and it’s so great, I love her so much and Book Seven is again, even better.

Two more books have come out since the last time I read the series and the final book comes out next month, I can’t wait to see all the great moments Beyer has coming up for them.  It also makes me twice as happy that Beyer is so involved with Picard. It’s so clear the love she has for these two and I can’t imagine J/C not still being Alpha canon with her involved.

[adventuresofateenagebitch]

Destiny

Summary: Your destiny was to rule over Hell, it was your birthright. But you couldn’t help but think of another warlock you knew deep in your heart was also part of you destiny.

Pairing: Nick Scratch X Sabrina (Nabrina!)

Wordcount: 2,694

A/N: This is my first post! I mean, it’s Nabrina people. He’s loved her since he first saw and heard her in choir class. Softboi Nick. But honestly, Part 3 of Sabrina messed me up pretty bad. I wanted to write a Calbrina fic, but honestly, I needed to write a Nabrina one as my first post here. No way in Heaven I would do Nabrina dirty like that. So anyway, enjoy! Leave notes likes, asks and such I super duper appreciate them! Calbrina fic is still a work in progrss. Hope you guys enjoy this. I had an awkward time ending it. LOL.

-------------------------------------------------------

Ruling over Hell wasn’t that hard. Growing accustomed to the afterlife where souls who deserved it were meant to live in anguish and suffer in the darkest most deranged forms of torture surprisingly happened pretty quickly, at times you’d even feel like it was more home than good old Greendale where you left behind your best friend who fell in love with your ex-boyfriend, and your family who never even noticed that the Sabrina they were living with wasn’t even the Sabrina of their time, but family can only reach so far to really know you… especially when you weren’t even related to them by blood in the slightest, except for Ambrose. You knew for a fact Ambrose noticed right away, the clever little beast. Perhaps another reason you’d grown so accustomed to Hell, your real father was with you, and as strange as it may seem, it was like you were living in any old house with a father and stepmother, minus the demons and the road of blood leading to Pandaemonium. Your father, Satan, Lucifer, or even the Dark Lord was like any other father out there. He had meals with you, guided you through your newly imbued powers, and even gave you advice on how to handle hellish matters when things came down to it. But more importantly, he never really stopped ruling over Hell, sure he had more free time now, but even then, he’d still be backhandedly working, he’d handle the affairs you couldn’t since you haven’t really gotten a grasp on the whole politics of hell, he knew he had to step in when you nearly instigated an uprising after telling a court of demons that Hell would be reformed from top to bottom. Even Lilith proved to be helpful, especially when you had to go to the mortal realm to collect souls, she’d stand guard making sure you didn’t stray from the path you’d chosen, the path of night to go back to your family and friends. Of course, hell wasn’t a full time gig, you were allowed days off, in fact you were only ever really in the throne room when you needed to be which wasn’t exactly all the time, any decision you had to make was reiterated to you through telepathy so you had free time now more than ever.

That was the problem though. 

You wanted to be busy. You wanted to stay busy because whenever your brain had even the tiniest inkling that there was nothing to occupy it with, it came back to a certain raven haired warlock whose smirk could keep you hooked for days. The same warlock who broke up with you because all he could imagine and see when he looked at you was your father who in all fairness did try to overtake his soul. Nicholas Scratch. You look down at the writing in the sand from the Shore of Sorrows and quickly cross out his name. It’s funny, the coven was now praying to Hecate, but you could still hear them, you still imbued them with their dark powers because well, they were your coven, and they really believed Hecate could give them that much power when in reality, casting spells and actually getting them to work required a circle of witches murmuring in prayer to the Goddess. The prayers ranged from offerings to prayers asking for forgiveness, you could hear your Aunties, Prudence, even Ambrose had the quick prayer every now and then even though he claimed to be a Polytheist, but the one voice you’d never heard was his, you’d like to say that you didn’t notice it, but you’d never heard him pray to Hecate.

But you could only keep up this lifestyle for so long. You spoke with your father about this. He was powerful in his own right, already feeling the discord of space and time the second you stepped foot in the throne room. He knew there were two of you, he advised you to first learn everything you could about Hell, because a time would come where you would be forcibly merged with your other self living in the mortal world, and instead of forcing you to choose like he’d done in the past, you’d already agreed to rule over Hell so you would always come back and if not, they would just summon you whenever they needed anyway.

You were walking along the path of blood through the forest where you noticed a tiny scribbling on your palm.

“Spellman.”

You looked at it curiously, and then the realization hit you all at once, there was only one person who had your magic marker. The same person who would use it to have late night conversations with you when he knew damn well that your aunties were sleeping and could hear every single squeak in the house. You quickly clear the forest, hiding the palm of your hand from Lilith when she comes to greet you in Pandaemonium.

Lilith wasn’t and never would be a fan of the Queen of Hell having any romantic life, she always told you to never even think about that.

“Oh, well if it isn’t the Queen of Hell herself.” Lilith has her hands on her hips, talking with an individual who quickly turned towards you, a cunning smirk and devious eyes trained on you. You gulp quickly.

“My, my, Miss Spellman I don’t think I’ve seen you in a long while. I thought you had foregone your magic studies for your mortal friends?” It was Dorian and you realized he was here to bring your father’s monthly stock of alcoholic beverages, he licks his lips, “Never quite thought I’d find you here though.”

You furrowed your brows, “And where exactly did you hear that?”

He turns his body fully towards you, “Why, from Nicky, of course.” Lilith gives you a short nod before going off to find her minion, “And how sad Nicky has been without… well, you.”

Your eyes which had been trained on your shoes snap up to meet his eyes, “W-what?”

He nods silently, eyes closed, “Yeah, he told me months ago and well, there hasn’t gone a day where he doesn’t drink his sorrows away.” He sighs, “Well, that’s what he gets for falling in love.”

He starts to walk around, taking inventory of his deliveries, “You’re his friend, Dorian.”

He hums, “Yes, well, he’s also a customer. A well paying one at that-”

Without even letting him finish, you turn your head in disgust, holding up two fingers to send him back to his bar through a fiery portal.

"Well, aren't you sensitive today." Lilith rubs her still nonexistent pregnant belly, "Has Mr. Scratch got your mind occupied?"

You shake your head, "No. Just-just tell me where my father is."

Lilith moves aside, "Right in his office."

----

You open the large doors shaped like demon hands and without giving him a chance to talk, you ask him, "How do I check up on my other self?"

He grins at you devilishly, "Dear daughter, by now you've already been gifted most of your full powers, it's about time I gift you a another one." He approaches you slowly looking glad to be ripped apart from the paperwork on his desk he holds his hand over your eyes, "Cum his ad divinum manus mea reddere tibi, divina aspectu"

You blink once, twice, thrice. Nothing seemed to have changed, "You seem pretty happy to be away from paperwork " you scoff.

He shrugs, "Well, you did declare a reform of hell and a book keeping of deals made of uncollected souls." He sits back down, "The royalties of Hell cannot be kept away from their collections any longer."

You shut your eyes, imagining yourself, your voice and as if you were astral projecting you see yourself with your friends. You were Laughing with Theo and Roz in the halls of Baxter High in your cheer uniform and before you can move a body passes through you, it was Harvey and when you expect him to make a beeline for Roz, he goes straight to you. The other you, leaning down he pecks you on the lips.

You look in shock as this Sabrina seemingly embraces her mortal life with her friends, in the 30 minutes you'd spent watching her, not even a hint of magic or spellcasting, "No. No, she wouldn't do this she loves her family, she loves her magic." You shut your eyes tight indespair and disbelief transporting you back where you were, not catching the way you voice seemed to have reached the other Sabrina's earsas if a whisper.

Lucifer was leaning against his desk, a knowing look plastered on his face, you walk towards him with intent, "That wasn't me. That COULDN'T have been me."

He chuckles lowly, "But in fact it is." He stands up straight, "You both are Sabrina, when Hell replenishes and provides your powers there are two of you which it splits into, and as time goes on, you and your powers get stronger because she has been slowly giving up the path of the night. It's a slow, gruesome process but she seems to think it was worth it, to keep that Kinkle boy around." He says in disgust.

He leans over you, finally taking the whole two Sabrinas situation seriously, "You see, dear daughter, only a single soul may exist in this world, to have two means it is constantly ripping and tearing the two souls apart one going more to the other, and what is a human without a soul?"

You look at him in shock, "And because the powers from Hell are more powerful with me, and she's trying to rid herself of her powers, she-she's-"

He sighs, "She knows." He pinches the bridge of his nose, "She's spoken with me and she knows everything. She only wished to spend her remaining days living a normal life with her friends and family, before she ultimately dies a slow and painful death. This was her last wish, as she's seen a future where her loved ones were killed by the Pagans." He starts pacing back and forth, "You see, the universe has a funny way of correcting itself. This time paradox which she had created was never to be successful in any way because only one Sabrina was ever meant to exist, the only two things that could have happened were you two would by nature absorb into a single being or second, one of you would have died." He shrugs.

"Now what? What then when she dies?"

Lucifer ponders, "Well, it is up to you to juggle these two lives or to choose one path over the other, but I must warn you that Hell has a way of fighting back if you do not respect the order of your binding to the realm." He sighs, plopping back down on his seat, "Now run along, child. I must finish these papers."

You walk along the corridors, before a voice reaches you, the only voice you’d wish you’d heard, his voice was low and calm as he began his prayer.

“Unholy Dark Lord, I know I have sinned against you but I am in service and gratitude to you for bringing Sabrina Spellman into my life. I only wish for you to bring her back to me. I am merely a vessel in your grand plan as your will commands so long as you bring her back to me. You rule over Hell and our lives, my brothers and sisters of the Order of Hecate do not understand our powers are granted by you our unholy savior. In exchange for my willing service if you cannot bring her back to me, I only pray you keep the love of my life from harm.” 

---------------------

You tossed and turned in your bed, unable to sleep. All you could think about was Nick, how the other you had thrown him away and all you wanted was to be with him, to tell him you loved him.

When you opened your eyes you were sat on the couch right in front of the fireplace in Dorian's bar, sitting next to one Nicholas Scratch who you already knew had been there the whole day. He takes another sip from the bottle in his hand and before his mouth touches it, you call him, "Nick."

As if the faintest of whispers reaches his ears, he looks around, catching you off guard.

"Spellman?"

You feel your eyes fill with tears as he looks around, trying so hard to find you, you speak in a clearer, louder voice, "Nick."

As clear as day, his eyes locked on you and he freezes, slowly bringing his hand to your cheek and cupping it, "Is this real? Are you really here with me? The real Sabrina?"

The tears start falling before you nod your head, "Y-yeah Nick, I'm here."

He embraces you tightly, "I-I just knew. I knew that wasn't you. The day you stopped going to the academy and you told me you were leaving behind the path of night to become a mortal, I just knew that it couldn't have been you." Tears start to stream down his face, “I’m never letting you go, Spellman. Not anymore, now that you’re back.”

You freeze, reluctantly, you clear the air, “Nick, I-I’m not actually back-I, I took the role as Queen of Hell. It’s my domain now.” You can’t seem to find the strength to look him in the eyes, “I’m not even really here. I’m in my bedroom, probably levitating while I meditate my physical and astral body here. Nick, I-I love you, but I can’t give up Hell, I don’t want to anymore. This is my destiny, and even if I did, the hierarchies of Hell would never let me.”

The giant grin on his face slowly lowers to a frown in realization, “H-Hell? You live there now? What happened to the Sabrina here?”

You shake your head, “It’s a time paradox. I’m from this time, but her, well she’s from a different timeline where Caliban was crowned King of Hell and you all died.”

He looks into your eyes, mind made up, and a determination burning in them, “You said before we broke up that you’d give it all up… for me, you would give up your destiny, Hell, Heaven, Earth, you’d give everything up for me.” You didn’t like where this was going because if he was going to make you choose, you knew you would choose Hell, “And Spellman, being apart from you only made everything all the more obvious, I thought my destiny was to become the best warlock of the Church of Night, but now I know my destiny has always been to be by your side-” He holds your hand tenderly in his, “Holding your hand as we travel and explore the path of night together and discover our place in the Underworld. I don’t ever want you to give up your place as Queen of Hell, I know this is what your were meant to do, but I would never ever let you go again, Spellman.”

You shake your head, “Nick, I don’t understand what you’re saying-”

He grasps your hand tighter in his, “What I’m saying is, Spellman, I’d follow you anywhere, even through the gates of Hell because you will always be worth it. Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be because it’s where I’m meant to be.”

You blink away the tears in your eyes, relieved Nick finally opened up to you, “Nick.” You hug him tight, “You’re willing to leave behind everything and everyone, the world, to be with me in Hell?”

He nods confidently, “I don’t care about the world, Spellman. I just care about you.” He leans in pressing his lips against yours as you come back to your physical realm and teleport him to Hell.

He breathes a sigh of relief, “Spellman.” He embraces you, “I love you, Spellman.”

You tuck your head into the crook of his neck, “I love you too, Nick.”

[gilbertandanne]

AU College Fic. Farkle never figured out how Riley really felt about Lucas, so it never got out. Now she’s turning 21 and the gang decides to go to Las Vegas to celebrate. Sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

Rating: M

Pairing: Rucas

Word Count: 3,626

Cross-posted at ff.net            

Soundtrack (although not at all organized and subject to edits)

A/N: Please read the a/n because it might be the reason why this is the last chapter you’ll read.

Ok, so first off (and this will help explain what I did and why I did it), the chapter titles.  I always had a vague idea about what I wanted to do for this fic.  As I began to write it, I wanted to figure out exactly how long it was going to be.  I knew that I wanted it to encompass a long weekend, so I knew it wouldn’t be super long, and I knew I wanted it to have some cool chapter titles to tie back to the overall Vegas vibe.  I thought, at the time, that I wouldn’t be able to do 21 chapters, so instead, I came up with something better.  Every chapter (minus chapter one), corresponds to a playing card nickname.  The chapters have gone from Deuces (a nickname for the 2 card) all the way to the Ace card (Aces high, baby!).  I only cheated slightly with chapter ten.  It was originally called Dime, but I went with a ten higher card nickname (TT) because the name was perfect.  A lot of the chapter titles dictated the course of the fic (an example is the hot tub moment in “The Devil’s Bedpost” or how “Time Travel” was comprised of a flashback).  I wanted to challenge myself to stay in those sort of parameters, and honestly, I think that overall, the fic turned out better than I thought it would. Those nicknames really weaved a lot of the story.

Hopefully you’re still reading this because this is the whole point of me telling you about the chapter titles: I didn’t stop with the Ace card.  There is an epilogue, which will be posted tomorrow (Saturday).  It’s the “joker” card and the name of it is “Wildcard”, and trust me when I say that it’s called that for a reason.  So, if you want this fic to be wrapped up nice and tidy, don’t read the epilogue.  If you want to read the full ending I had envisioned for this story, then definitely read the A/N I’m going add before the epilogue begins.

This is the longest a/n I’ve ever done, but if you’re still reading this, thank you.  Thank you for reading this fic, and for humoring me.

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | J | Q | K | A | J |

                                    Chapter Fourteen: Alas

“I don’t know about you guys, but this has definitely been the best night here,” Lucas told the group as they lounged in the living room.  “Just a few drinks.  Some bowling, some pool…just us…all of us.”

“It’s definitely been more low key,” Farkle agreed.  “So, what’s been your favorite part of the trip?”

Lucas briefly glanced at Riley.  She looked like a vision as she was seated next to Maya on the loveseat.  She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that his eyes were on her as she and Maya laughed at whatever they were talking about.  He smiled softly as he looked back at Farkle.  “Are you asking the group or just me?”

“Everyone,” he clarified as he glanced at the girls.  “Because I figured with you and Riley it would be the obvious…you know…finally getting together.”

When Riley heard her name, she turned her attention to the guys’ conversation.  She glanced at Lucas as his eyes fell to the ground.  She couldn’t be certain, but he seemed a little sheepish as he looked away from her.

“You’re whipped already,” Zay teased as he caught the bashful look on his friend’s face.  He had known Lucas for most of his life and had only seen him act like that twice—both times involved one Riley Matthews.  He sipped on his drink as he tried to think about his favorite part of the trip.  “Mine would probably be…watching Farkle drive the golf cart into the lake earlier today.”

Maya and Riley nearly exploded in laughter.  “Wait,” Maya continued to laugh, “What?”

Zay grinned.  “Oh yeah…you guys missed it.  Farkle thought he had it in reverse, but it was actually in drive, so he went right over the edge and into the lake on the 10th hole.”

Riley covered her mouth with her hand as she giggled at her friend’s mishap.  The mental image of Farkle driving a golf cart into a lake was priceless.  “Oh my God,” she began as she wiped tears from her eyes.  “What happened?”

“We managed to fish it out,” Lucas explained.  “Thankfully the cart wasn’t damaged or anything like that.”

“So, who won,” Maya asked as she wrapped her arms around her suddenly cramped stomach.  She wasn’t sure the last time she laughed so hard.

“I’ll give you one guess,” Zay answered sarcastically before he gestured to Lucas.  “He was Mr. Perfect in middle school and high school.  He’s still perfect…even in college.”

“I thought we didn’t keep track of our score,” Lucas told him.

“I lied.  I was keeping track in the off chance that she,” he waved his hand in Riley’s direction, “got you off your game today because of last night.”

“Hey!” Riley crossed her arms over her chest in mock offense.

“You know what I mean,” Zay chuckled as he playfully winked at Riley.  “How was the spa?”

“Good,” Maya answered.  “It was relaxing…for the most part.”

“For the most part,” Farkle asked.

“The girl talk was…intense,” she elaborated.  “Once that was out of the way, we were able to relax some and have a good afternoon, right Riles?”

The brunette nodded.  “Absolutely.”

“What was your favorite part of the trip, Farkle,” Riley asked him.  She knew that the breakup with Smackle still weighed on him, but she hoped that they were able to get his mind on something else, even if only for a little while.  He seemed so uptight when they first arrived, but he had appeared to have relaxed some over the last few days.

“Honestly?”  He smirked.  “I think it was when Zay, Maya, you, and me were dancing last night.”

Riley laughed.  “When I forced you to?”

He nodded.  “Yeah…ever since Isadora…ever since the breakup, I haven’t been…I haven’t really been myself.  Last night, I was able to let go for a little while…it was nice.  It was nice to be able to laugh with you guys.  It helped me to forget about…everything for awhile.”

“We’re always going to be here for you, Farkle,” Maya assured him.

Riley nodded.  “Yeah, no matter what.  You’re stuck with us…all of us.”

He smiled.  “Yeah.  I want you guys to know that you are the best group of friends I could ever ask for.”  Maybe this trip was the first step in the right direction?  He was finally able to let go for a little while and have fun without thinking about her.  He knew that everyone had been patient with him as he dealt with everything, and for that, he was forever grateful.

“So, why don’t we do this then…” Zay stood up as he face the others.  “No matter what happens.  No matter where we go…what we do…every year, the five of us take a trip somewhere.  It doesn’t have to be here or anything too exotic if we don’t want to.  Just a trip somewhere.  That way, no matter where we end up, we’ll still be in each other’s lives.”

“I like that idea,” Maya told him.

“Me too,” Riley smiled.

“So, let’s do it.” Farkle stood up before he slid his hands into the front pockets of his pants.  He turned to Lucas.  “Lucas?”

“Yeah,” he nodded as he stood up.  “I think it’s a good idea.”

“I only have one question.” Maya looked between Riley and Lucas.  “Where is Zay going to sleep tonight?”

Riley slowly turned her head to Lucas.  When their eyes met, their cheeks turned crimson.

“You know, you don’t have to spend the night with me if you don’t want to…or if you want to take it slow,” Lucas told her the moment she came out of the bathroom in a pair of yoga shorts and a tank top.  His heart fluttered at the sight of her.  He briefly wondered if that feeling would ever go away, but as she walked toward him, he realized that his heart had fluttered every single time she entered a room.  He looked down at the bed as he pulled the covers down.  “Or, if you want, I can take the other bed.”  He knew he was rambling.  He never rambled before.  God, what was she doing to him?  “We don’t have to…just because Maya and Zay…” he looked back at her.  He’d gladly turn into a complete buffoon if it meant that she would always look at him the way she was at that very moment.  An amused smile tugged at the corners of her lips while her eyes seemed to sparkle underneath the glow of the lamp on the nightstand.  He sighed.  “We do what we do.”

She couldn’t help but to be slightly amused by his sudden anxiousness.  She had never seen him so flustered before.  She secretly enjoyed the fact that she had set him on edge for once, since he had always managed to make her act the same way.  “Lucas, if I didn’t want to be in here, I wouldn’t be in here.”  As she closed the space between him, her eyes fell to the bed.  “And once we get back to the city, I’m not sure when we will have another chance to…you know…spend the night together.  With finals and then winter break…I’ll be back at my parents’ for a month and you’ll be back with your parents and…” she blushed as she clasped her hands together.  She slowly looked up at him. “I…I want to be with you…even if we’re just sleeping.”

He dropped the sheet as he turned to her.  As nervous as he was a minute ago, a sense of tranquility suddenly washed over him.  That was his Riley.  She had the power to incite a nervousness he had never known in one moment and then immediately calm him the next.  “Well, I think we’ve already been together longer now than the first time we were boyfriend and girlfriend.”

She laughed as she remembered their afternoon long relationship when they were in middle school.  “Hey, it’s a step in the right direction, right?”

“Absolutely.”  He wrapped his arms around her waist as he buried his head in the crook of her neck.  “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” she closed her eyes as they held one another for a moment.  She thought for sure that there would be a lot of awkwardness between them after their earlier encounter, but there wasn’t.  If anything, she felt more comfortable around him, and despite his slight nervousness, he seemed to be more comfortable around her as well.  “I’m glad that everyone seems ok with it.”

“Were you that worried about it?”

When they pulled back from one another, Riley turned away from her boyfriend as she slid underneath the covers of Lucas’s bed.  “A little,” she admitted.

Lucas frowned.  “Why?”

“Because of Farkle…and Smackle.”  She looked up at Lucas as he sat down across from her at the foot of the bed.  “They were together…forever…you know?  A-And now, they aren’t.  Have you even seen her since they broke up?”

He sighed.  “No, I haven’t.”  It wasn’t intentional.  He and Smackle had grown to be pretty close friends over the years.  They even went to the same college, but it was as if she had completely disappeared when Farkle and she broke up.  He tried to text her, but she never answered.   “You?”

“Once.  It was…awkward…horrible.  There was this Farkle sized elephant in the room and Maya and I tried so hard to tiptoe around it, but every single time we opened our mouths, we ended up saying something about Farkle.  We didn’t mean to…we thought that we could make it normal.  We thought that we could be friends with both of them, but…it was so…awkward.  Maya and I tried to remain impartial throughout everything, but she broke up with him.  She…she broke his heart and as much as we wanted to stay out of it, we also wanted to protect him.  I think…I think Smackle knew that.”  She paused as she thought back to that horrible afternoon at her mother’s bakery.  “We weren’t mean or anything…and Maya and I thought that…well, I don’t know what we thought.”  She looked down at her hands, which rested in her lap.  “We haven’t…we haven’t hung out…or even spoken since then…and…I don’t want that to happen with us, Lucas.”  She cut her eyes up to him.  “If something happens…if this…if this ends, I don’t want our group to be even more fractured.”  She took a deep breath.  “It’s one reason why I…why I never told you how I felt.”

“Riley…I know that…that this changes everything, but I also know that whatever we have…it’s different than what they had.”  He looked down as he reached for her hand.  “They know that.  They want us to be happy…I think Farkle especially.  He knows that our relationship wasn’t his relationship.  We’ve been friends for a really long time now.  We know what we’re walking into.”

Riley glanced at their joined hands before she looked back up at him.  “Lucas, we were never just friends.”

He ran his thumb over her knuckles as he lowered his eyes to their hands.  “You know…my favorite thing in this world is when you talk to me.”

She furrowed her eyebrows.  “It is?”

He nodded as he looked up at her.  “I hated it when we drifted apart.  It felt like…it felt like part of me was missing.  It felt like the best part of me was missing.  Riley, I know that I loved you before I even really knew what love was.  When you pulled back from me after that party…and I heard you and Maya talking…I think that’s when I realized what love…what losing it really meant.  I don’t…I don’t want to feel like that again.  I don’t want to be incomplete.  I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future.  I don’t know where life is going to take us, but I do know that I’m willing to fight everything…fate, time, misunderstanding…just…everything…in order to be with you.”  He took a deep breath.  “I’d do anything for you.”  He glanced down at their hands once more.  “We’re different than Farkle and Smackle…and any other couple we know…because every relationship is different.  This…you and me…I’ve been waiting a lifetime for it.  Now that we’re…starting to explore that…I’m not going to be able to let go that easily.  At the end of it all, I need you, Riley.  It’s that simple and it’s that complicated…not to mention the fact that it’s also that scary.”

Riley swallowed.  “I know that I’ve been running away from this…not just the last few days, but ever since Tombstone and Texas.  I…I feel the same way.  I know that I can’t lose you from my life…so I thought it was safer to hide…even after you and Maya broke up.  I know I pulled away…and I need you to know that…it killed me.  I hated leaving places when you were just showing up.  I hated cancelling plans all together because I knew you were going to be there.  I wanted to see you.  I needed to see you…but knowing that scared me even more.”  She gripped his hand.  “I’ve been able to keep you away because…because I told myself that you didn’t see me like that, but…after that night in the hot tub…after we kissed…I knew…my heart knew that I…I couldn’t run away anymore.  This…instinct that I have to protect my friendships tried to fight it.  I tried to push you away, but…I can’t do it anymore.  I don’t want to do it anymore.  I want to be with you.  I need to be with you.  You’re right…it’s the scariest thing in the world to need another person, but I…I love you.  I’m in love with you…and now that I’ve had a taste of everything I’ve been running away from…I know that I’m willing to fight for it too.  Anything…everything that comes our way.”  She ran her free hand through his hair.  “We really stink at this taking it slow kind of thing.”

He smiled.  “Yeah…but if you think about it…we’ve waited seven years for this.  For some people, that’s taking it painfully slow.”

She considered it for a moment.  “You make a good point.”  She smirked.  “You know…I wonder what my dad is going to say about all of this.”

“I have a feeling I’m going to be losing a lot more shoes,” he laughed.  “At least over winter break anyway.”

“Oh, you think you’re going to sneak into my room without him knowing it?”

He smirked as he leaned in closer to her.  “I’m going to try.”

Riley smiled against his lips as he kissed her.  This felt right.  More than right.  Her hand slid to his neck as she opened her lips against his.  He was rapidly becoming an addiction.

The phone in Lucas’s room blared promptly at 8:00am.  He groaned as he rolled over and picked up the phone.  “Thank you,” he mumbled before he put the hung up the device.  As he rolled back over, he took a moment to look at the angel who slept next to him.  So, yesterday wasn’t a dream?  They were actually a couple now?  He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her once more.  Last night had easily been the best night of sleep he had in ages.  Being able to hold Riley in his arms was more than a dream come true for him.

“What was that,” she murmured half asleep.  

“Wake up call,” he answered softly as he kissed her bare shoulder.  He reveled in the feeling of his skin pressed against hers.  He could easily get used to waking up like this every morning.

“What time is it,” she mumbled as she pressed herself against him even more.  The feeling of his skin next to hers felt nothing short of electric.  Couldn’t they have this every morning?  She frowned slightly as she slowly opened her eyes.  No, they couldn’t.  They had to get back to reality today, and that meant spending the night in their separate beds.  Besides, if this was going to work, they couldn’t go 0 to 100 right away.  She wanted to enjoy every single moment of their ‘honeymoon’ period.

He planted another kiss to the back of her neck.  “8am.”

She slowly turned her head toward him.  A lazy smile danced across her features.  “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” he smiled.

“It definitely is,” she softly whispered before she pressed her lips to his.  She sighed as she turned her body to face him.  “How long do you think we have until Zay demands to come in and get this stuff?”

“Don’t worry,” he smiled as he ran his fingers down the length of her arm.  “I packed it all up after you fell asleep last night.  It’s already in the living room.”

Riley chuckled.  “Poor Zay.”  She never wanted to kick the guy out of his own room, but the temptation to have one full night with Lucas was too appealing to turn down.

“Poor Zay nothing,” Lucas insisted before he kissed her again.  “I wasn’t about to let anyone disturb you.”

Her teeth lightly scraped her bottom lip as she looked up at him from underneath her eyelashes.  “You know…you are always free to disturb me…if you want.”

“You aren’t tired of me yet?”

She smiled as she swung one leg over his hip as she straddled him.  “No,” she answered as she leaned down to kiss him.  “We’re just getting started.”

Lucas smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Riley’s furrowed her eyebrows as she flipped through the movie selection.  She bit her bottom lip when she reached the movie she wanted to watch on their flight to Las Vegas—the movie that she had to stop watching so she could pretend to fall asleep all because she was petrified of sitting next to Lucas.  Was that only four days ago?  She tapped her fingers against the screen as she, once again, debated the selection.

Lucas smiled from his seat behind her.  It was definitely déjà vu, but only this time, he felt a lot more confident as he leaned forward.  “Are you ok?”

“Hmm?”  She turned her head toward him as a half smile slowly formed on her lips.  “Yeah, I’m ok.”

He gestured to her screen.  “I heard that’s a good movie.”

Riley looked back at the screen as she softly chuckled.  “Yeah…yeah.  I’ve heard a lot of good things about it.”

“Do you want to watch it together?  He glanced at Zay.  “I’m sure Zay will switch seats with you…or if you want to sit by the window, I can move to the aisle?”

She slowly turned back to him.  “I feel like we’ve had this conversation before.”

He looked down as he lightly laughed.  “Yeah, we have.  I’m just hoping that…”

“What?”  She could practically hear her heartbeat in her ears as she waited for him to answer.

“That your answer will be different this time.”

Riley glanced at the blonde who slept next to her.  She knew that once they got out of the airport, they would go their separate ways in order to study for finals.  That meant that it would easily be a week before she could see him again.  “I’d love to.”

Lucas couldn’t hide the grin on his face as he watched Riley get up from her seat.  He nudged Zay, who had been completely oblivious to the entire conversation as he had his headphones plugged in and the volume turned up.  “Zay,” he called out as he nudged him a second time.

Zay glared at his friend.  “What,” he asked as he slid his headphones down.

“Can you switch seats with Riley?”

Zay glanced at Riley as she attempted to climb over a practically comatose Maya.  He slowly looked back at his friend.  “Ahhh, I got ya,” he nodded.  “So, is this how it’s going to be from now on?”

Lucas frowned.  “What are you talking about?”

“You two are going to be going out on dates and holding hands and all scared to death.  You’re not going to think anything at all about ditching one of your best friends.”

Lucas furrowed his eyebrows.  “I’m not ditching y--”

“Oh, you abandoned me for her,” he gestured to Riley.

“Zay, you know I’m not abandoning you.”

Zay’s look of complete and utter betrayal quickly morphed into laughter as he stood up.  “Nah, I’m just kidding, man.”  He slapped Lucas on the back before he looked at Riley.  “I’m really happy for you guys.”

Riley smiled as she slid into Zay’s seat.  “Thank you, Zay.”

Lucas looked up at his best friend.  “Thanks, Zay.”

“Just remember this when you name your firstborn, ok?”

Riley and Lucas laughed as they watched him climb over a completely oblivious Maya.  As Riley turned to Lucas, their eyes met. Their laughter slowly faded as they both considered Zay’s last statement.  Could that be something in the future, perhaps?  Kids?  Maybe one day?  Riley laughed nervously as she turned to the screen in front of her.  “So, are you ready to watch this movie again?��

“Well, to be honest, I wasn’t really paying attention to it the first time.”

She frowned.  “Really?”

He nodded.  “Yeah.  You see, I really wanted to watch it with this girl…but she kinda brushed me off.”  He lifted his arm in a silent invitation for Riley to snuggle next to him.

Riley smiled as she curled up next to him.  “Well, it was her loss.”

“Nah,” he decided as he handed her the left ear bud.  “The timing wasn’t right.”

She looked up at him.  “And now?”

He slid the right ear bud into his ear before he looked back at her.  “It’s perfect.”