#frog the garden gnome capitalist

[polaroidcats]

my weirdest assumption about you is that you're actually 3 frogs in a cat trench coat

YOU HAVE NO PROOF OF THIS!!!!!! 😶‍🌫️

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send me your weirdest theories about me!

[polaroidcats]

Top five Gnome POVs on your wish list. Also, any beauty tips? How do you keep your froggy skin looking so fresh and clear and green?

ohhhhh amazing question!!!

no. 1 has to be the gnome revolution! I wanna see how the gnomes prepare to overthrow their capitalist overlords, and how they unionise and organise!

2nd place would be the POV from my backyard gnome, I just think he must see a lot of interesting things and I wanna know what he gets up to when I'm not there

3rd place have got to be your local gnomes, they look like they really know how to party and I wanna find out where the best underground gnome raves are!

4th place would be a forest gnome! I want to know what the life of a gnome who escapes his natural habitat (suburban gardens) looks like and what they get up to! I bet there are some wild gnome communes hidden in the woods and I would love to see them!

5th place would be of course gnome spinning in space. I debated if I should put this higher on the list but I'm afraid it might make me nauseous with all the spinning, so it gets 5th place!

Thank you so much for the compliments!!! The secret to beautiful green froggy skin is to do skin masks with swamp mud as often as you can, just never wash them off really, they're great for you!!! Also, collect as many garden gnomes as you can and spy on them whenever you get the chance, the more gnomes you have the less worries you have and we all know worries make your skin less beautifully green.

sleepover ask game!

[polaroidcats]

what makes a garden gnome "good"?

excellent question anon!!! a good garden gnome LOVES their work. they would ideally want to work 24 hours a day but sometimes they need some sleep and rest so they don't risk exhaustion. a good garden gnome never refuses more work though, they are happy about it! a good garden gnome would never dream of starting a union or even just talking to other gomes about things like salaries or working conditions, reduction of work hours etc.! a good garden gnome loves the garden they live in and the plants they are protecting! a good garden gnome loves frogs more than they love unions! hope that answers your question!!

send me random questions!

[polaroidcats]

why is there a frog in your bio? Cat? WHY IS THERE A FROG IN YOUR BIO????

idk what you mean??

but unrelated to that, do you happen to have any garden gnomes you might want to get rid of? i know someone who would really like to collect them!! 💚🐸