#freedom from knight || ayano

[playmakersama-blog]

"Can I listen to your heart ?"

“I don’t really see a reason not to,” he replied. “But why do you want to?”

[kotalefanzu]

yandere simulator is a Thing but back when i was still somewhat invested in it, i wanted to try rewriting the plot and stuff. i hated the whole “im empty but it can be cured with love” because im aro and i like feeling good about myself thank you very much.

so firstly, ayano is still a quiet child. she doesn’t show emotions often and she’s hard to notice a lot of the time. she’s a loner and rarely talks to anyone. her dad was worried and tried to get her to open up more, but it didn’t really work well. it’s not incredibly clear, but ayano loved her dad and she would open up more towards him, handing him little things she finds and playing in his vicinity. it makes him feel happy that she shows some form of affection towards him, but he wishes she could be more “normal”.

her mother is verbally and mentally abusive to both of them. she threatens her dad a lot with harm to him or ayano or the few people he is allowed to be around, she tells ayano that she is broken constantly but can be fixed, she makes them feel weak and helpless, and she monitors them excessively, crippling all forms of freedom they have.

this pushes ayano into trying to act more “normal” with her dad to try to make him feel better. she still pities him, but it’s for a different reason. she tries doing thing she thinks will make him happy just so he stops seeming so miserable all the time. she wants to protect him because she has heard time and time again that he is weak from her mother and it’s important to defend the weak, right? she gains a strange knight complex.

tw: impliedsuicide; murder

her father ends up not being able to take it anymore when she’s around 8 or 10. her mom has gotten worse and worse as ayano grows up and at some point her father wondered as his child daughter hugged him as he cried in the bathroom, whispering comforts and support, if he really wanted to live his life like this.

the story to the press was that he committed suicide due to the stress of work and parenting. ayano’s mother made ayano seem like a problematic child, a dangerous, but silent child that they loved but worried about constantly. she even alluded to her husband fearing ayano a little. ayano doesn’t believe what her mom is telling her because she hated her mother and completely blames her for it all. she has every right to.

her father didn’t commit suicide. her father was killed by her mother for trying to escape with ayano so they could live freely. her father died protecting her as she stood against her mother with a kitchen knife when she got physical in dragging her father back. he knows the truth but can’t bare to say it and it hurts. her father died because she couldn’t protect him. her father was not weak, but strong and she was the one who was truly weak.

tw over (ayano’s father was killed her mother who then said that he committed suicide instead while pushing the blame onto ayano. ayano is hurting over it.)

ayano grows up hiding back into her shell again, but still trying to open up to people just a smidge. her dad wouldn’t like seeing her so closed off. he wanted her to be happy and free so she would try to honor that, even if its just a little.

he meeting with senpai isn’t as eventful as the whole glitter and rainbows thing, but there is something about him that catches her eyes. she sees him often around the school, coincidentally at first but later it becoming reflex for her to scan her surroundings to look for him. one day as she watches him get fussed at by his annoying orange haired friend, it clicks.

this boy, this soft hearted and kind boy, is like her father. the thought brings back a lot of traumatic memories and a fire sparks inside of her. she wasn’t about to let it happen again. it wasn’t allowed to happen again. this time she was stronger. she wasn’t the same weak child like before. she would make sure that who ever ended up with him was perfect and nothing less. it was what both her father and this boy deserved.

and yea. that was my rewrite idea. i think this one is a lot more sympathetic and understandable than the whole empty and emotionless but everytime we touch i get this feeling type of shit. the idea that ayano plays the role of a knight defending her prince’s honor has a cool aesthetic to me and i like it a lot.

[playmakersama-blog]

Quick Tag Dump

because I should make this blog a little more organized

[playmakersama-blog]

Boyfriend / Girlfriend Application:

Name: Ayano Age: 16 How long have you had a crush on me?: since i have met you If I called you at 3 AM would you be mad?: NO Where would you take me for our first date?: Shoichi’s Hot Dog stand Do you know my favorite color?: aahhh nooo ;-; What’s my favorite movie?: do you even watch movies ? How about my favorite food?: Hot Dogs ! If I said yes, how happy would you be?: You don’t want to know lol Do you love me?: very…. Is this for real or just a fling?: real !

“I won’t really say no to this, but I will warn you; I’m not very affectionate. I may not be as cuddly or as touchy as you probably would want me to be. I’ll give it a try though.”

@v-iax