#freakination is nigh…

[lolathepeacocklord]

[scottycomics]

Still SOO happy with how these covers came out, and with the updated logo it just comes together exactly how I'd hoped TTwTT

Can't wait to reprint these! (cough cough maybe kickstarter coming soon?)

[stealingyourbones]

$500 is how much my rent is minus utilities and so it’s the goal!

Alas I can’t accept most job positions, I’m 20 and still going through college with only fast food, chain restaurant, and customer service jobs on my resume, and have a myriad of physical disabilities that make it very hard to do remote work (chronic nerve damage in the wrists make typing for 8 hours a day genuinely impossible). Just the offer of trying to find positions out there really means the world. Thank you.

I’m desperately trying to find a job and I keep getting turned down and my possible job opportunities are closing as my car can only go oh so far from my home as it’s on the verge of breaking down once and for all.

I might not be able to have enough money to pay rent next month. I hate to do this but if you like my funky prompts and are able and willing to help, I’d really appreciate it if ya send a few dollars my way.

Linked above is my KoFi.

Thank you.

[leadendeath]

If you see Pyrocest/Twin Flames art, do you see that as you and Pyro selfship style?

(Possibly asking because maybe a mooty wants to draw a gift for you. And they haven't seen if you have a specific pyrosona.......)

ohhh boy. i could answer this so many ways... >83

NOBODY ELSE LOOK!! /not serious

i'm not open about selfshipping here on my main, but i am indeed an avid selfshipper!

i've only had a few f/os before- just like my attraction to Of-This-World people, it's rare but significant if and when i even have any attraction in the first place) but pyro is my main and current babygirl! has been since i watched "meet the pyro" and started crushing on it nigh instantaneously around end of february this year, progressed to official f/o status... This many ago:

(...whats even better is i now have a fellow pyro from This World..... we met a little while ago thru the mutual kinnie ism nonhuman weird guy experience <333 very lucky to have him)

so to answer your question- yes and no, but mostly yes. it REALLY helps that there are different versions of us in canon. pyros will see a pyro and kiss it

and to answer your other question- i DO have a pyrosona!!! THIS fuckin THING

he's just my dream loadout. ive been meaning to draw its face normal style/non-halloweeny, the creature's grin is pretty freakin hard to draw if i say so myself. one day i will make a character i can actually draw lmao. i can be blu too i'm not loyal to one team only lol

i don't hide anything and it's not a secret, it's just kinning and selfshipping are both very personal to me and i like a specially curated space for em usually

[cto10121]

Okay, FINE, How Are Romeo and Juliet *Actually* Different?

The popular anti claim being that R&J have absolutely ~nothing in common and so would not have worked out in the long run (as if that would negate their love), I’ve spent a lot of my time refuting this awful anti clownery on my blog for good reason. I think it’s fair to say that Shakespeare conceived his R&J as two sides of the same coin, pretty much the same character and personality. So why, then, do antis whine and bitch and even fans prefer one over the other? Why is the Romeo the Death Eater (🤮) and Juliet the Basic Bitch Homewrecker to Poor Rosaline (🤮🤮🤮) clownery even a thing????

Well, apart from general ignorance of the play, fanon taken as canon, and antis being antis, it’s also the fact that Romeo and Juliet are different in a few ways. These differences are shallow and surface level, however, and ultimately are irrelevant to their love dynamic. How so? Let me count the ways…all of 4 (?).

1. One is A Girl and the Other Is A Boy

Yeah, this alone accounts for 99.99% of their differences, no joke.

So R&J are clearly the results of their typically 16th century socialization. Juliet is a girl raised to be obedient, quiet, and can only leave home for church. After her initial greeting to her mother she stands by quietly as her Nurse and her mother talk. She has fewer lines in her introductory scene than freakin’ Ophelia, and her response to the prospect of marriage to Paris is a diplomatic “Meh. Okay. If you want me to.”

Meanwhile Romeo is free to do whatever the fuck he wants whenever he wants. We literally meet Romeo when he has gone AWOL and his parents have no idea what is happening or where he is. They have to employ Benvolio to get the truth out of him. If Juliet is raised like a cloistered nun, Romeo is for the streets. No wonder adaptations have him and his Montague homeboys be so grungy at times.

These differences in gender roles contribute a lot to their personalities. More specifically, to their weighing of risk. Romeo decides to climb Capulet’s wall on a mere moment’s deliberation. Juliet has half a hundred lines alone wrangling over whether Romeo is sincere and not a fuckboy. And although they feel despair and rage at similar things, they show their tempers differently, thus:

2. Juliet Has A Temper, Romeo Has (Virtually) None

Okay, so I have a feeling Juliet getting more riled up than Romeo is 99.99% due to the Nurse being the Nurse. Homegirl will literally try anyone’s patience. And to Juliet Nurse is a more of a mother figure as it is, so of course she would respond more viscerally.

Still, canon evidence is canon evidence. Romeo had to be pushed to extremes by actual manslaughter (and even then he decided to fight only when Tybalt returned). Although Mercutio rags on him constantly, his only response is either to dismiss him or playfully rag him back. He only becomes really dangerous when he learns Juliet is dead—his John Wick moment, in short.

Meanwhile Juliet drops the Nurse like a hot potato after the Nurse advised her to marry Paris instead. The Nurse also mentions how angry she gets when she tells her Paris>>>Romeo. So yeah, don’t mess with Juliet.

That said, Romeo is definitely the most dangerous when he gets angry. Juliet internalizes her anger and grief (see point 1), hence her wanting Death to claim her maidenhead. Romeo is chill, but when pushed sufficiently, will cut a bitch, and very easily too. If Juliet is Jigglypuff, Romeo is Cell Games Gohan.

3. Juliet Is A Better Liar, Romeo Just Evades (Also His One Lie Sucks So Bad, It’s Clownish)

Juliet’s nigh-perfect equivocation to her mother comes to mind, a kind of deceit that is really tricky to pull off. One suspects she has had a lot practice in the past what with her stupid dysfunctional and oblivious parents. She struggles far more with Paris—her disgust for him is so palpable—but luckily for her, Paris is even more oblivious than her parents. Just brain smooth, no thoughts, head empty.

By contrast, Romeo doesn’t lie much or at all. You could argue that he doesn’t really have to—as a more or less independent youth he doesn’t have to give a full account to his parents and there is no real reason to lie to his friends. Mercutio and Benvolio don’t even ask him where he was, just ribbed that he had ditched them. Mercutio assumes he was out getting some; Romeo not only lets him assume this but slyly continues the game of wits until both Mercutio and Benvolio are satisfied at his return to form.

That’s the extent of Romeo’s cleverness in deceit, though. By Act 5 he is unable to persuade his servant Balthazar that he is Totally Fine, No, Really, Go Get the Horses. And then there is this whopper of a line to Balthazar: “Why I descend into this bed of death / Is partly to behold my lady’s face, / But chiefly to take thence from her dead finger / A precious ring, a ring that I must use / In dear employment.”

Romeo was clearly Not Well(tm), but dude. Dude. A ring???? A ring??? You could have stopped at “behold my lady’s face” but no!!!! 🤦‍♀️ No wonder Balthazar just disobeyed him completely. That said…

4. Romeo Is Better At Persuasion (Rhetoric), Juliet Is Just…Not

Okay, so it’s really just that one moment where Romeo successfully persuades the apothecary to sell him poison. He really does give a good argument in very few, terse lines (“fuck the law, it’s screwing you over by keeping you poor,” in short). Part and parcel with his rhetoric ability is his ability to tease, as shown in his battle of wits with Mercutio.

Juliet has some shrewd moments too (“how canst thou be out of breath when thou hast breath to say to me that thou art out of breath???”). But mostly she doesn’t or can’t persuade. Faced with her dumbass parents and uneducated Nurse, she even struggles to get a word in. When she begs her mother to delay the marriage to Paris, Lady C doesn’t even hear her out.

She also fails with the Nurse although, (very interestingly enough), she doesn’t even try to persuade the Nurse to stick with her and Romeo. And again, when the Nurse teases her about Paris being better Romeo, her response is just irritation. So yeah, safe to say that of the two, Romeo is more rhetorically adept.

5. Juliet Blushes Easily and Romeo Is Practically Shameless

I’m thinking chiefly of how much Mercutio rags on Romeo for mooning over Rosaline and Romeo just… dgafs, lol. He shows no embarrassment either for his pursuit of Juliet or his abandonment of his crush on Rosaline. Except for Tybalt’s death, he doesn’t express much guilt over his actions either. At best he doubts himself on occasion—he is no arrogant bro, at the very least.

Meanwhile Juliet does get embarrassed easily, though with very good reason. She blushes and rambles during the balcony scene, and the Nurse even explicitly says she blushes easily (“There goes the wanton blood up thy cheeks”).

Overall, Romeo is a much confident character than Juliet. Again, though, this is also part-and-parcel of their gendered differences and really just a part of Number 1.

6. Romeo Is A Discord Mod, Juliet Is His Kitten

Just kidding. All in all, most of these differences stem from number 1 in some way—gender role socialization is a very real and powerful factor when it comes to personality. Juliet’s introvert personality, her temper and her struggle to make her case reflects more her status as a girl to whom no one listens to or regards. Romeo’s temper, skill with a blade, and rhetorical adeptness comes from his obvious masculinized education.

When it comes to the rock hard traits of R&J’s personalities, however, these differences are mitigated very much and even disappear entirely.

Both have fairly mild tempers all in all, are expressive and charismatic. Both love and feel deeply and passionately, and get overwhelmed by their own powerful emotions. They are both obedient, sweet upper class kids who are pretty well immersed in their respective society and only go the distance for a love connection. They are both very brave and courageous, willing to take risks for each other. They are also equally in love with each other and, as far as them being together goes, are equal partners in love.

[oiphity]

good evening. have some j-core <3

bandcamp album links (except for gensou hardsound #007, as that album seems nigh-impossible to obtain legitimately unless you wanna stalk jp mercari or fril for a decade. i have put down its page on doujin style instead lol): {pillaged the necropolis} {freakin sounds vol. 5} {gensou hardsound #007} {megashit ep} {freakin sounds vol. 8}

[nimblermortal]

It's orchestra season and I freakin' love Coriolanus and we might get to play it except that I think I'm the only person in the orchestra who likes it

(It's about the sweetness of the women's voices trying to talk Coriolanus out of sacking Rome, it's about the tension in the rhythm of the second violins, it's about the Beethovian dynamic contrasts, it's about the nigh-Russian tension in the tone, it's about that incredible finish, it is no secret how this story ends)

[jacksmysterylabyrinth]

Downtime for the moment. Impressions so far...

I get the vibe that more of the characters are harder to crack than past crews, at least in this stage? Not sure how to put it. Like they have their ‘gimmick’, but they’re also more... distant? A little less wacky?

(This combined with) the ‘hey lets kill off the entire crew except Yuma’ isn’t really helping my attachment to any of them right now, though. Nonetheless my mind flits back to that chapter as suspiciously relevant. Besides that ones named ‘Chapter 0′ usually are...

It’s very pretty, of course. Super pretty. They’ve really come a long way since V3 and Despair Girls, with those models and the sprites too. Clearly a lot of effort was put into this and I’m feeling it

I’m getting a feeling that this world is more intense- not just an academy, but a whole city, fraught with corruption and it’s clearly affecting the people to the point of nigh worshipping a freakin assassin. Finding out that they plain omit details in crime reports is just icing on the cake

I’m psyched to learn about the supernatural world and how it plays into Fortes. About TIME we actually have some text from Kodaka that details this kind of stuff instead of just dancing around it the entire time

Shinigami... annoys me a bit? It’s clear she’s putting on some kind of airs, and she’s probably going to be the most mysterious one here next to Yuma himself. But maybe I’m not finding her as fun as I thought- oh I know why, it’s because she dragged you by the dick all the way through the Tutorial Chapter(tm) and now it’s all oversaturated with mascot before the game’s even really begun. Otherwise, she’s a fun character

I love the Persona-vibe with the Labyrinths- this is some good shit. Though it’s so obviously lifted from Danganronpa mechanics, it gives them a place and a purpose which is exciting

Actually roaming around and taking assignments like a detective does is a great way to use a detective protagonist. The place is so big, too. I feel like we’re in Yakuza. Expect to see Majima pop out at any moment

Maybe it’s because I’m a passive observer and miss things but I’m a little confused by the memory-fragments collection- when the heck do these things happen. I feel like I’m experiencing two timelines at once. Haven’t seen more of them yet though. It seems kinda arbitrary

High tier characters right now (the ones that are alive) are Halara and Yakou, and the main two are a good duo. Others I’ll... think about later. (Also I hope they don’t pull a Stupid(tm) with Halara’s gender)

As always, it’s a little hard to connect things in my head but still- this is shaping up to be interesting and fun! Next is collecting clues for the second Labyrinth

[tsuki-sennin]

Hooo... here it comes. The Final Form.

I admit, I'm pretty nervous. I couldn't tell you why; maybe it's because I'm not even remotely ready for how strong it is, or maybe I'm just because I'm feeling the end creep up on us, but either way...

Spoilers, I guess...

-Good job, management. Assholes.

-I guess smashing the Vision Driver is out of the question.

-Hello, Mitsume-san. You'll hopefully be free soon.

-Victory~!

-Ohhhhh

-Overtime.

-I guess Buffa didn't erase Ace's drawing.

-Taira-san... :(

-Neon Squad be freakin' out on Twitter.

-Oh hello, Kyuun.

-Yeah.... yeah, that's about the long and short of it, Keiwa.

-That's what the ultra rich do.

-Buffa appears!

-Buffa, people died. Lots and lots of 'em. Those people had friends and family, people who they'd uplift and support and be comforted by in turn. You constantly beating your competition down and ripping their dreams from them is only causing more and more misery. Is forcing people's desires out really worth satisfying how much of a bullheaded bastard you're being?

-...I don't know if I realized it fully until now, but... I hate Buffa. I really do.

-He's such a fascinating and layered character, I'm really happy I got to know him as much as we did over the course of the season, but like... this feels a little excessive.

-Ohhhhh, Sara ain't gonna make it

-Oh, fuck, Neon!

-And then there's this asshole!

-Yeah Ace, fuck him up.

-Oh wow, a lot of books.

-Win, hello!

-Ohhhhhh

-Whatcha mean by that, Tsumuri?

-Suel appears.

-Oh fuck-

-Yoooooo!

-Oh, she crumbly

-He zapped!

-Screw you, Kekera.

-Oh?

-They put someone in jail.

-Ohhhhhhh

-Well I guess A's father had to enter the equation somehow.

-Wonder if he was a fox too?

-"Game over, Keiwa."

-Go OFF, Keiwa

-Oh shoot

-Punkjack saved us!

-So, Mitsume became a goddess because she had A.

-Love and Peace!

-I suppose it's fitting that someone as much of a free spirit as Punkjack would sell out his bosses like this.

-Well said :)

-That inheritor is Tsumuri, huh?

-It's about time we've had a proper riot.

-Let's goooooooo

-This camera work is quite disorienting, I must admit.

-The Grand End is nigh.

-"You're malding. Cope, seethe, cry. You can't escape anyway."

-Hideyoshi Kan, you are far too good an actor.

-OH

-Set!

-Boost! Mk. III!

-Ready... Fight!

-Ace said fuck your rules.

-He has become the Nine-Tailed Fox.

-Oh man, I'm so excited to see it go.

[rayurya]

[milkshakekitty]

Brontophobia

Just a tiny drabble for the new au that lives rent free in my mind<3

KkkkRrrAAAAaaAaKkKk!

"Uh-oh," Ralph turned to the window, the street lights illuminating the torrent of raindrops cascading down the window pane.

"Uh-oh?" Felix looked up from his book.

"We're about to get a visitor."

His partner opened his mouth to respond, but was startled by someone frantically rushing to Ralph's side of the bed, a familiar old flannel shirt trailing behind the intruder.

"Ralph?" a tiny voice whimpered uncharacteristically.

"Hey kid," he smiled, gently scooping her up.

"Vanny?"

She looked at Felix almost as if she'd forgotten he was there but made no move to leave Ralph's protective arms, burrowing into his shoulder as another crack of thunder shook the shutters of the little house.

"It's ok Van, it's just noise," Ralph patted her back.

Oh.

"Vanellope's got brontophobia," Felix realized.

"I have what?" the kid fixed Felix with an incredulous look, before drawing close to Ralph again at another thunderclap.

"Yeah, she's got what?"

"Brontophobia," Felix said simply, "She's scared of thunderstorms."

"I'm not scared of anything," she stubbornly snapped, though a perfectly timed rumble proved otherwise as her grip on Ralph's sleeve tightened.

"Plus it sounds stupid," she snorted.

"Sounds like the dinosaur."

(idk van kinda strikes me as the kinda kid who'd have a dinosaur phase at some point in her young childhood)

"But they're freakin' huge, at least 10 Ralphs tall," she pointed at the ceiling, "They wouldn't be afraid of thunder," the little girl said matter-of-factly.

"And neither am I," she added quickly, reluctantly prying herself away from Ralph to sit between him and Felix.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about Nelly. Everyone's afraid of something. I'm afraid of spiders, and Ralph's scared of heights-"

"What's Tammy scared of?"

"Nothing," the sergeant scoffed from beside Felix.

"Cal's scared of emotional vulnerability," Ralph deadpanned, not missing a beat.

She smirked, reaching over Felix and Vanellope to playfully smack her partner.

"Clowns," Cal leaned over to whisper conspiratorally to the kid.

"See Vanny, everyone- er, except Tammy, is afraid of something. And thunderstorms can be very scary. It's loud, and the wind can cause damage, and lightning is so dangerous. And the heavy rain can cause flooding and- and-" the handyman cut off his anxious rambling when his partners glared at him.

"Not helping," they mouthed in unison.

"Oops."

"But all that's not important," Ralph quickly assured the kid.

"Yeah," Cal agreed, ruffling Vanellope's hair.

"What's important is that you're safe, no thunder or lightning or anything is gonna hurt you here," Felix cooed, tucking the kid in snug.

"I know," Vanny yawned.

"Plus I have three parents instead of just two, so I'm extra safe."

"That's right kid," Ralph smiled. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have two partners and a kid all sandwiched in bed with him.

"Goodnight sweetheart," Felix gently kissed Vanellope's forehead.

"G'night dad," the kid smiled sleepily, "Night papa, nigh Tammy."

"Night honey badger," Felix gave Cal a peck on the cheek, "Goodnight Ralphie," he leaned over their daughter to give his husband a matching kiss.

"Night Felix," Ralph flushed ever so slightly, "G'night Cal."

"I've never heard so many goodnights in my life," Cal smirked as she turned of the lamp.

But she couldn't resist.

"Night shortstack, Wreck-it."

"What about me?" a disgruntled groggy voice piped up.

"Goodnight pipsqueak."

[sshbpodcast]

Which Starfleet uniforms “Make It Work” as they “Make It So”? (Part 2)

By Ames

You’ll recall that last week A Star to Steer Her By checked out all the Starfleet uniforms from the first pilots through Enterprise (if you don’t, check it out in Part 1 here), and today we’re judging more modern trends. One thing you’re going to see repeatedly in the newer iterations of Star Trek is just a lot of strange nods to branding that strike us as counterintuitively capitalist, bordering on Ferengi. Just deltas everywhere all of a sudden. Listen to our in-depth discussion on the podcast episode (this activity starts at 53:40) and thumb through all the designs below as we prepare to crown some fashion winners and also to say auf wiedersehen to some potato sacks. 

[Images © CBS/Paramount, Star Trek Timelines, Ex Astris Scientia, probably others]

Star Trek (2009) and Into Darkness

Talk about a heavy-handed uniform. Having the texture of the material just be lots and lots of little delta shapes is just too much. Way too much. Overall, these look like soccer practice jerseys, the pants all look like they don’t even fit, and wowsers do the women get screwed over! Poor Uhura gets neither sleeves nor pants nor anywhere to even indicate her Starfleet rank. These uniforms might be more sexist than the TOS uniforms which featured most of Nichelle Nichols’s buttcheeks. Whose idea was this?

USS Kelvin In the 2009 film we get to see a flashback to George Kirk’s USS Kelvin, and it’s a kinda of strange look. While we’re all about just having Totally Normal™ pants and Totally Normal™ belt, the piping on the top makes it look more like an incomplete scuba suit somehow. The colors could also stand out more since they’re fairly muted. And turquoise, tan, and white? What is this department combination? Hard pass on these ones.

Star Trek: Beyond

Beyond changes things up by looking way more classic and what a relief! Sure, the cut is still pretty athleticwear-looking, but everything is chicer, the collars are more reminiscent of the classic TOS look, and the entirely unnecessary delta patterning is gone! Also, thank whoever gave Uhura sleeves and rank stripes again. Sure, we knew she was going to be in an extremely short dress no matter what, but now it at least feels like she’s a member of the same crew.

USS Franklin I forget the plot of Beyond but suffice to say there’s a different duty uniform that we see on the crew of the Franklin, and it looks like a nice cross between the Enterprise and TOS eras we discussed last week. It’s like a straight-up flight suit with the bonus of looking more streamlined. It’s got functionality. It’s got belts. The color blocking is fun. And I may not be able to speak for the whole podcast, but those mad pockets are absolutely everything!

Yorktown In the same vein as the Franklin, the starbase Yorktown has a similar duty uniform variant that is just as functional and just as sharp. Again, the color blocking catches the eye and makes everyone look nice and shapely – seriously, look at that leg patterning! The big honkin’ belt somehow works in ways I can’t articulate. I would seriously add that zip-up jacket to my wardrobe. What’s not to love?

Star Trek: Discovery

Seasons 1-2 We’ve reached present-day Trek and some really stunning uniforms that we start off with in Discovery. The blue color harkens back to Enterprise in a nice nod, the tailoring looks great on absolutely everyone, and we’ve got pocket sightings for extra points. The department colors in the side panels do get confusing because it is nigh impossible to tell which color is which, especially under show lighting. The one thing we could really do without is that self-referential nod in making the patterning within the panels more damn deltas. This way to the gift shop, everyone!

Season 2: USS Enterprise In season 2, Captain Pike rolls in in the USS Enterprise like a freakin’ boss, complete with more familiar-looking uniforms that only his crew gets to wear for some reason. Jury’s out on what people think of those massive black collars, but the gold, red, and blue that we all love do look gorgeous. The flattering cut of the uniforms seems to be the same as the Discovery uniforms, but the side panels and extraneous deltas are thankfully gone and not particularly missed.

Season 3 When we jump 900 years in the future for season 3, we see some really sad Starfleet uniforms. Apparently the look of the 32nd century is just frumpy. The department color swatches are fine (if you don’t stop to think why they’re still using the same color palettes after so much time has passed, which we won’t), but the primary grey color everyone wears as a base is super bland and flattering on no one. And the length: just wrong. Someone, please think of the belts going unused!

Season 4 Since the greys were just not going to work and everyone was looking like drywall, season 4 decks everyone back out in the normal department colors (plus medical white for a treat!). The colors are so much better – really, just that improved things tenfold – but the shape is still not our favorite thing. I’m not kidding: go back and look at the The Wrath of Khan jackets again and tell me a really obvious belt isn’t the answer to fixing this. I’ll wait.

Star Trek: Picard

Hey, you’re back! Moving on, when we look at the uniforms in Picard, it’s like a love note to the designs we saw back in TNG, DS9, and Voyager. The black bodies with department colors on the shoulders are something we’re all very used to at this point, and the tailoring looks pretty decent to boot. But look closer. What the hell are all these deltas doing in the patterning of the shoulders and collar?! Did the Ferengi design these knowing they could sell them to fans, because that’s the only way this makes any sense!

Picard flashback We also see in a flashback the design from, presumably, somewhere between Nemesis and Picard and while we wonder for a hot second what ever happened to the First Contact uniforms with the lavender quilted shoulders, that fizzles quickly. What we have now are uniforms that just look fast! It must be those racing stripes: they make the uniforms go faster and also somehow look like hockey jerseys, and is that such a bad thing?

Star Trek: Lower Decks

In the timeline, we squeeze in another uniform variant that must go just before the Picard flashback ones, because of course we do. And even though these are cartoons and can only depict so much detail and tailoring in the art, we get the impression it’s still very like the TNG uniforms but with a nice off-center front enclosure. It’s a little unclear, however, where the top ends and the pants begin. Or perhaps it’s another jumpsuit, who knows?

Sneak Peak! Star Trek: Strange New Worlds

We haven’t seen these in action yet while I’m writing this, but we got a taste of the new Strange New Worlds uniforms in the character teaser. Because you just knew they weren’t going to go with the existing costumes from Discovery when they could design unnecessary fresh ones! Time will tell, but so far they look incredibly similar to the very athletic Beyond uniforms, the bulky black collars are gone, and there’s some nice shoulder patterning that probably isn’t deltas for a change!

—

Now that we’ve seen all of the uniforms walk the runway, which ones are getting fashion commission deals and which ones are getting mocked in the tabloids? Here are our calls, with lots of honorable mentions since there’s so much to choose from:

Favorites

Ames: Enterprise

Honorable mentions: Yorktown and DS9/VOY

Caitlin: The Next Generation (seasons 3-7)

Honorable mentions: Discovery (season 1-2) and Yorktown

Chris: Discovery (season 2, USS Enterprise)

Honorable mention: The Wrath of Khan

Jake: The Wrath of Khan

Honorable mention: DS9/VOY

Least Favorites

Ames: The Motion Picture

Dishonorable mentions: Discovery (season 3), Star Trek (2009), and “The Cage”

Caitlin: The Motion Picture

Dishonorable mentions: Discovery (season 3) and Beyond

Chris: The Motion Picture

Dishonorable mention: TNG (seasons 1-2)

Jake: Discovery (season 3)

Dishonorable mentions: “All Good Things…”, The Motion Picture, and TNG (seasons 1-2)

Must Haves

Not everyone can pull off the scant, but which uniform does each of us want to wear to a convention right now?

Ames: “Yesterday’s Enterprise”

Caitlin: Discovery (season 4) or DS9 (seasons 5-7)

Chris: The Wrath of Khan

Jake:  The Wrath of Khan

—

Phew! That’s a lot of closet space to sort through. And we’ve still got racks to go because in upcoming Blogtivities we’ll be covering admiral and dress uniforms, so keep your pants on until then! Catch us here for more, listen to episodes over on SoundCloud and every other podcasting place, give us your own fashion tips over on Facebook and Twitter, and maybe don’t cover everything in deltas for no good reason. It’ll just come across as tacky.

[yerbamansa]

I have too many feelings about Our Flag Means Death not to post them on Tumblr

So in the last week I’ve watched all ten episodes of the single season of Our Flag Means Death four times. It’s about five hours of screen time per binge, but still, that’s… a lot, right? I am fucking fixated on this shit. It’s a rabbit hole of joy and fandom brain rot (as the kids say).

On my fourth viewing, I took a pen–pink, a color I rarely use except for contrast–and wrote down quotes and notes. I filled 18½ pages. My hand hurts; gripping a pen and applying pressure to get a clean stroke hurts after a short while. Getting old, I guess. But I treated it like I was doing research for a grad school project, like I was trying to identify a thesis, a reason for my sudden and swift obsession. Like, I love TV–I rewatch favorites repeatedly and follow new shows pretty regularly. Things like Star Trek are often on my mind and I love to talk about them and look at memes. But only once before can I recall falling into a proverbial k-hole of focus on a show and every goddamn thing about and around it I can consume. That show, of course, was Schitt’s Creek, and I had four seasons of material to go on by then, but I got really into the then-smallish fandom and wrote fic and cosplayed and joined chats and watched every thing I could track down with Dan Levy. Oh, and I came out as nonbinary, at least to some people.

The rest I'll put under a cut because I rambled all day.

My ardor for that series has waned somewhat (David’s ultimate path didn’t resonate, which I know is nigh-sacrilege for the wedding-focused fandom, and for ~*personal reasons*~ I really wanted Stevie to explore a queer romance, alas) but so many people I know still associate me with being a fan. I mean, sure, I literally named my rabbit after David Rose and gave them an Instagram account, but I’ve moved on. (You can still DM me with your Schitt’s stuff, though. It makes me happy to know you’re thinking of me and enjoying something I hoped you’d enjoy.) At any rate, I wasn’t expecting another obsession to hit like that; maybe it was a fluke. Then I watched the gay pirate romcom.

Romantic comedies are not, strictly speaking, my jam. I don’t really enjoy romances. Most romcoms lack in the “comedy” department for my taste. And pirates? I mean, as a narrative setting, meh, it’s fine. (I WILL go back and finish watching Black Sails eventually, I promise, but generally…) The “gay” part, well, sure, I appreciate representational media. It can be a mixed bag. But if you’ve read this far, you either already know or can guess that none of these objections fit OFMD. In terms of comedy, it’s a goddamn powerhouse of international comedy legends. Romance? It’s sweet and lovely without being cloying or obsessed with marriage et cetera (that’s just…a thing I get really bored with…). And it’s not too sweet to totally skimp on the horrific reality of piracy, at least as much as one can to fit the romcom tone. Also basically every on-screen relationship bar one is queer in some way, and there’s a nonbinary pirate played by a nonbinary actor, just for bonus points.

But why the everloving fuck did I get obsessed with it??? The conclusion I’ve come to is that the show somehow let me experience gender euphoria by proxy. Not just because of Jim Jimenez–that’s a nice affinity, and I’ve enjoyed Vico Ortiz in other stuff, so it’s a freakin’ delight to see them in something with such an active, engaged fanbase; their social media is on fire–but for reasons that, as close as I can figure, are the same as something that made me super obsessed with Schitt’s Creek before: the portrayal of masculinity.

As an AFAB nonbinary person who didn’t figure out such labels could apply until their late 30s, I’ve got my own view of masculinity and femininity. (As anyone who’s ever explored gender should.) For me, it’s not so much that I want to be more masculine (shit’s scary, societally speaking) but read as less feminine. That’s just my body. Bodies without hips and large breasts and the things they can convey with their fashion are just…not what I can do. At least not with my budget. “Feminine” touches with menswear cuts, and so on. When I see folks with a style I covet, it transfixes me a bit. I’d love to be able to wear a dress and paint my nails in a boyish way. Rock an impeccable suit with color and pattern and a little jewelry. That’d just be neat. So somewhere between fashion icon David Rose’s enviable wardrobe of black and white couture knits and these funny gay pirates I’ve got feelings I wanna live in for as long as I can since I can’t try on the real thing. (Or, well. A longer thought there is the point of an entirely different ramble.)

I’m just gonna write up thoughts on our key players. What a segue. Anyway, spoilers abound.

Stede Bonnet: The Gentleman Pirate

For all his childhood trauma, a joyless arranged marriage, and clear naivete, Stede is a man who strikes me as surprisingly secure in himself. He may not be able to articulate exactly what he wants, but he knows the world he comes from wasn’t made for him, and he actively takes the pieces that work for him and rejects the rest. He loves the finer things–his library, suite decor, and secret auxiliary closet serve as ample evidence of that–and doesn’t become a pirate to collect everyone else’s finery. He’s in it for adventure, which is a fucking wild, privileged reason to do anything. What he takes from his old life is a comfort and, he hopes, a launching pad. People in his aristocratic world didn’t take him seriously, but he did. And he wants to share it, but there’s a mismatch between what he’s got to offer and the things the people he meets in the pirate life need. This does not deter him.

What happens to Stede over the course of the season reflects his growth–in confidence, in love, and in himself–but not a fundamental change in who Stede is. He can relinquish some of the finery when he’s finally figured out what he wants, but we know it’s still part of him. (My god, when he gets back to the Revenge and confronts what’s been thrown overboard (and what’s maybe been kept), it’s gonna be a moment.) He can add and remove identity accessories without losing that sense of self.

I find this guy confusingly relatable. I’m not a drama queen with an outfit for every occasion, but I am more likely to retreat than engage when off-putting chaos swirls around me. I would also very likely find myself “uncomfortable in a married state.” I like being in charge, even though I’m not always good at it. I’m easily haunted by my own failures. And I, too, am more than a little mesmerized at the sight of Taika Waititi in a salt-and-pepper wig and beard and aging rockstar leather getup. (Whomst among us…)

Edward Teach: Blackbeard the Pirate

Born on a beach, became the Kraken. Watching this disaster wrestle with his fragmented personas was a roller coaster. Young Edward was drawn to the finer things that, as his mother tells him, aren’t for people like him–God says. So when he meets the Gentleman Pirate, “God’s perfect little rich boy” as an enemy later describes Stede, someone who chose this life, who chose to share his finery, he’s into it. Despite himself. 

When Stede asks him if he “works for Blackbeard,” he has to consider it. It’s not that everything about him is a facade, but “Blackbeard” is ultimately a constructed brand for pirating. Ed Teach has a tendency to become the person he needs to be for the moment, for the people that surround him. He’s Blackbeard for Izzy; Blackie for Calico Jack (a nickname as gross as their relationship tbh), a jovial (if occasionally menacing) Co-captain to the crew, and Ed to Stede. Izzy might call him by his name and his title interchangeably, but over time, even he can see they are not the same. Stede gets to know Edward, someone maybe no one else has ever known, and he finds that he really likes being Edward, or at least being Edward with Stede. That Edward isn’t putting on a mask. Maybe he’s not even sure why, but he seems to trust Stede implicitly, and that trust only builds and builds until it collapses.

Everyone knows who Blackbeard is, except Blackbeard. The Blackbeard he presents to the crew of the Revenge is seemingly not the same one his own crew is used to. It’s not the same Ed Stede knows, but it isn’t exactly a terrifying pirate persona, either. Co-captain Blackbeard is affable, sometimes almost whimsical; a storyteller, prankster. Any grumpiness is easily explained away as the too-cool veneer of a man who’s all too aware of his profile (Lucian even calls him on it when they’re on Stede’s ill-fated treasure hunt). When his mental state crumbles after he returns to the ship sans Stede, the veneer is dropped entirely. He tells the crew to call him Edward, celebrates their talent and artistry, and babbles about giving up piracy altogether. Both Izzy and Lucian can tell he’s not OK, but the ways they try to help are diametrically opposed. To everyone else, he’s just having fun. The chaos, I think, is Ed not even knowing (or caring) anymore who he is and who he has to be for others.

 When he becomes the Kraken, it’s for himself–to protect himself from the pain of being known. Known by Stede, who left him at that dock, and by the crew with whom he’s grown far too informal. Of anyone knowing that he’s always been the Kraken, in his own mind and mythology. In this persona, Izzy sees his Blackbeard, but he probably doesn’t see the man behind the mask sobbing at the sight of a lighthouse painting. Ed knows better than to let anyone see that, now. The Kraken might be a self-loathing monster, but no one gets to hurt him anymore. The Kraken is appropriately terrifying, but he also makes me so fuckin’ sad, and not just because Stede is free and coming back to him.

I don’t know that Stede ever recognized these shifting personas within Ed. I think Ed was only becoming aware of them himself, through his ennui and through getting to know Stede. Stede’s sense of self is stable enough that he might not be able to conceive of the vulnerability Ed’s shown him. He hasn’t got a frame of reference for it. To him, Ed is Blackbeard and Blackbeard is Ed. When he gets hints of it–like when he sees Ed’s shaved face for the first time, and Ed tells him Blackbeard is old news–he’s worried, maybe, that Ed’s losing himself and it’s all Stede’s fault. He can’t have another regret weighing on him like that.

Jim Jimenez fka Bonifacia

The only people confused about Jim’s identity are the other crew of the Revenge who argue about whether or not “Jim” is a girl’s name and if women attract demons. They get over it. Jim is the Inigo Montoya of OFMD, except they also get a boyfriend. I love this journey for them.

Death as a Metaphor and a Promise

The crew of the Revenge creates flags to advertise the promise of future suffering and death for any who might cross their path. Everyone fears death at the hands of Blackbeard (even if, as he admits to Stede, he hasn’t personally killed anyone since he murdered his own father in the Kraken origin story). But these are literal deaths. The story mainly concerns metaphorical deaths; transitions from one identity to another, from one persona to another.

Stede’s marriage begins with the specter of death (the gravestones as a wedding gift), one he eschews only to die another way, by being responsible for the death of another man. (One of his childhood bullies, in fact. A fact that is never lost on him, even if he fixates on the man’s death and his part in it rather than the torture he lived through to get there.) But he didn’t escape the original specter until he returned home to resolve it–with his own faked death, in concert with his wife, her lover, and their children. Now he’s finally free.

Ed initially sees Stede as a way for Blackbeard to die–an opportunity to steal the Gentleman Pirate’s identity and fuck off with his purloined finery, just for kicks. He’s bored of this persona he built for himself but feels stuck in it, so why not “die”? Later, he very nearly accomplishes killing Blackbeard for good when he submits himself alongside Stede for an Act of Grace pardon. When he tells Stede he’s happy just to be with him and suggests they create new identities and run away together, he suggests he hopes that death is permanent, but Stede, unfortunately, has his own death to attend to first. The Kraken, then, and its flag with the demon harpooning a heart, promises a death to others that he couldn’t give himself.

The focus on metaphorical deaths is a bit funny, considering I expect any future seasons will not strictly adhere to the literal death timelines of these characters.

OK But What About Your Feelings?

There is absolutely no way anyone reading this diatribe had this thought.

But since I’m asking… fuck. So like, I’m on the low end of middle age. That feeling of wanting something more, of is that all there is, is real. Especially with regard to how I’m performing gender and such. To being comfortable with being out more. To doing…something about that, whatever the fuck that means. To some kind of new adventure. It’s not as exciting as life on the high seas during the Golden Age of Piracy, and I’m not half as funny as these people, but I am trying to understand what exactly it was about something that, yes, is already the kind of show I’d just enjoy the hell out of, but it wormed its way into my tired little brain and fucked me up for a solid week, maybe more.

[championofsanghelios]

Linked Universe Story - “Rescue”

“...this is getting out of hand!” Legend’s voice snaps across the camp, startling most who had fallen asleep awake. “Twi and the Old Man left three days ago! Three freakin’ days! And we’re still sitting here, waiting for them like they’re going to come back!” “Will you relax?” Four sighs by the camp-fire, drinking from his water-flask. “Shouting isn’t going to help anything, it’s just going to make everyone grumpy in the morning.” “I just worry, Okay!?” Legend breathes out through his nostrils, dropping down next to him. “They aren’t usually away this long.” “Wars said he’d go out and have a look for them.” Four tries his best to assure him, though he doubts it will work. “Maybe he’ll come back with something...” “I hope so.” Legend, though not comforted by that general suggestion, can’t lie. “They better be okay.” . . . ELSHWERE - SEVERAL MILES AWAY . . . “...” Time groans, his head spinning, both literally as well as figuratively. He opens his eyes slowly, the light and heat of a fire being the first thing he’s aware of. He could make out the faint sound of snoring, and a quick turn of his head reveals the source....all 20 of them. “...” Bokoblins, all of them laying around a large fire, fast-asleep, having filled their bellies with goddess only knows what. Time himself was hanging upside down from a tree-branch, the ropes from Twilight’s satchel had been used to string him up. He looks about as best he can for any sign of the other Hero, but finds nothing until his eyes catch sight of something in one of the Bokoblin’s hands. A familiar black pelt, that of a small wolf, which Twilight always wore over his shoulders as a cloak. There were also several other items of his strewn around the place, all of which didn’t help to ease the rapidly building panic in his gut. Had they killed him? Were they all, equally, in the processes of digesting him? The thought terrified him, as well as made his blood boil. How dare they. How fucking dare they! Suddenly his priorities were changing. Originally he had planned to find Twilight and get out of there, but now that his fate was uncertain, he’d added “massacre these little bastards” to the list. Now then...how was he going to get out of here? . . . IN THE FOREST . . . How long had he been running for? It couldn’t have been long, the sky was still clear and dark, the moon hadn’t risen that far since he last looked up at it. Right now he was conflicted more than anything. Part of him felt awful for leaving Time behind like he did...but there was no chance in hell that he’d be able to fight through all those monsters in his condition. He’d already tried to transform into his canid form, it would have certainly made thing easier, as he could have followed the scent trail the two of them left back to Camp, however...he was wounded. When they had been ambushed on the road, he’d taken an arrow to the left shoulder, something that would normally be of no consequence, but right now his satchel was back there...and he wasn’t going to risk looking for it amongst the sleeping devil pigs. ...no he had to get back to the camp. Sky and Warriors would know what to do... ...if only he could find his way back. He had to, because there was going to be a point soon where one of those little blighters would awaken and using it’s collective brain-cells notice that one of their captures was gone. That and Time was still back there...if they discover he’s gone, they might just decide to kill him for their food instead. He comes to a stop as he enters a clearing, leaning against a tree to catch his breath. He was pouring with sweat, and his wounded shoulder which had been painful before, was now verging on excruciating. The pain had spread down through his arm, and left hand, and it hurt to look at, let alone touch or move. “...shit...” he says as he breathes, something else which was getting much harder as time passed. “...ow.” His tunic was torn at the shoulder, blood soaking the area around the wound dark red. Oddly enough one of the few thoughts that doesn’t concern his current predicaments is how he’s going to remove those stains later on? Suddenly a sound occurrs among the trees, the snapping of a few twigs, followed by the sounds of boots on grass. Twilight turns on the spot quickly, his eyes squinting as the flame of a torch appears between the vines and branches. “...wh-...who’s there?” he makes a pathetic attempt to confront whoever it is. “...co-come out.” Warriors steps out into the lunar light, his face melting into one of horror as he sees him. “...Twi...” “...Wars?” Twilight’s eyes narrow, he wasn’t sure if he was halucinating or not. “...is that you?” He takes a step forwards, which turns into a stumble. Warriors drops the torch the ground, it’s flame extinguishing when he catches him in his arms. “Twi! What happened to you!? Where’s the Old Man?” “...back-...” Twilight moves his good arm, gesturing weakly over his shoulder. “...back there...b-Bokoblins ambushed us...” “...here.” Warriors says, reaching down to his belt and removing a bottle of healing elixir, he uncorks it and holds it up to Twilight’s mouth. He drinks it slowly at first, but as it’s effects inevitably take hold, some of his strength returns. “...just drink that. It should help you.” He inspects the wound on his shoulder, letting out a hissing sigh. “You idiot. Why did you snap the arrow-shaft. It’s going to make getting it out a nightmare!” “...sorry.” Twilight finishes the last of the elixir, looking at him. “I should have thought about that as 10 miniature devil pigs tackled me to the ground.” “Well it would seem the first thing to recover is your temper.” Warriors huffs, shaking his head. He then goes to move. “Come on, we better get up off the ground.” “Nah...” Twilight shakes his head slowly. “You’re quite soft...I could go for a nap here.” “Are you serious!?” Warriors snips, before getting up anway. “Time is in trouble! I need to help him!” “There are at least 20 of the little bastards back there.” Twilight hisses, as much as the elixir had helped to get rid of some of the swelling and stopped most of the bleeding, the arrow-head was still stuck in his shoulder...which would make wielding a Sword nigh-on impossible until it was removed. A trip to Four he was not looking forward too. “...you can’t go in there alone, they’ll just overpower you as well.” “Just you watch me.” Warriors says, reaching over his shoulder and taking out the Master Sword. Twilight’s eyes widen at the sight of it. “Where did you get-” “-took it from Wild’s lean-to.” Warriors says, eyeing the blade with an element of trepedation and nostalgia. “...figured he wouldn’t mind me borrowing it whilst he’s partying with the Zora.” “...that doesn’t change the fact that you’ll be outnumbered.” Twilight shakes his head again. “You’d be better going back to camp and getting the others-” “-since when did you ever give up so easily?” Warriors eyes him incredulously. “Usually you’re game for anything, especially when one of our own is in danger.” “Don’t question my priorities!” Twilight suddenly snips. “If I wasn’t wounded I would have turned wolf and tore those little fuckers to peices. But right now, I am no fit condition to do that let alone lift a sword...and I’m sure as hell not going to let you go in there alone and potentially take my place.” “...” Warriors stares at him for a second, the look in his eyes said it all. “Wars...” Twilight calls to him as he suddenly takes off on his own. “Wars! Get back here, you’re not going to-” He hisses again as he paces forwards after him. Clutching at his shoulder, he curses under his breath. “...damn it!” . . . ELSEHWERE . . . “...come on...” Time mutters to himself, having tried, for the thrid time, to get the ropes bound around his legs to come free. Bokoblin’s weren’t the smartest of the creatures, so they hadn’t bound his arms together. “...how tight did they-” -growl- He freezes as he hears that sound, slowly he looks ahead of him to see one of the little buggers had awoken, and was now staring at him. Something stupid takes him over at that point, and he finds himself speaking before he can process the words that come out of his mouth. “What are you snarling at you little shit?” he says, flinching when he realises what he’s said. Normally he abhored swearing, and had given a few admonishings to the others because of their language, but right now he couldn’t help it. He was angry...no he was livid. As far as he was aware that little swine and it’s friends had eaten the closest thing he had to a son. He wasn’t about to let it go without at least a few harsh words...followed by a gutting. “...go back to bed.” “ajdhfgrdk!” the Bokoblin let’s out a loud squeal, and the Hero watches on in horror as one by one, all of the others jolt awake and leap up onto their feet. The one holding Twilight’s pelt, throws the object onto the fire as it awakens. “sjehsheufvu!” “...oh shit.” Time mutters to himself as he sees one of the charging at him with a club flailing. It barrels through the others, sending some of the flying in either direction, one even lands on the fire, screeching as its backside singes. “...” He closes his eyes as it reaches him, bracing himself for the strike, though it doesn’t come. -Swipe- -Thud- Time cracks one eye open in the silence that follows. He finds Warriors standing between them, the Master Sword in hand. The head of the Bokoblin that was about to attack him was now rolling away under him. He looks back up, his eyes narrowing. “Where the hell did you get that from?” “Glad you’re okay, Sprite!” Warriors replies, bringing the blade around and cutting the rope holding him up through the middle. “...you’re welcome!” Time hits the ground with a thud, and against his best efforts, the groan he lets out as he sits up, sounds as old as he feels. He kicks the ropes off of his ankles and gets up, only to stumble as the blood rushes from his head down to his feet. All around him there were Bokoblin’s being cut in half, or beheaded. One even stumbles past him, it’s innards hanging out of it’s front, before collapsing face first into the fire, erupting in a ball of flame. He reaches up to his forehead, applying pressure to his temples in order to calm himself and stop the world from spinning. When he finally does come back to his senses, the turns on the spot, only to find that Warriors had slain every last one of the monsters, all of them laying, in various states of mutilation, around the clearing. “...that was easy.” Warriors says, standing in the center of the space, leaning on the Master Sword like a crutch. He takes in a deep breath, only to fall onto his backside against an overturned boulder. “...peice of cake.” “Are you hurt?” Time slowly paces forwards, stepping over one of the dead swines. He drops down onto one knee as he reaches him, placing his hand on his right shoulder, looking him over. “...no injuries?” “I should be asking you that.” Warriors says, a small smile on his face. “...but you seem to be unharmed.” “Only thing that’s wounded is my pride.” Time sighs, looking about the camp. “...Twilight was with me when we were ambushed...I don’t know if-” “-he’s okay.” Warriors sits up a little, sensing his worry. “I ran into him a little ways into the forest. Seems he made a run for it.” Time visibly sags in relief, before dropping down just to his right. “...Thank Hylia for that...” “When you didn’t come back after the second night...Sky and I started to get worried.” Warriors says, his head coming to rest against Time’s left shoulder. “He went up North towards Kakariko, whilst I came down this way...I’ll need to ping him on Wild’s slate when we get back.” “It was stupid...” Time shakes his head, thinking back on the whole ordeal. “I thought we could cut our journey time in half by taking the road we did...if only I had known-” “-Oh don’t start with that.” Warriors says, cutting him off. “What matters is you are both okay- well. Twi has a little arrow head stuck in his shoulder, but other than that he’s himself...I gave him some healing elixir before I came to find you.” “...then we’d better get back to him.” Time says, turning his head to look at him. When he doesn’t get a response, he nudges him with his shoulder. “Come on, you can’t fall asleep here.” “I have been out all day looking for you two...” Warriors says sleepily against him. “I’m taking a 5 minute nap...” “Wow.” a voice suddenly speaks to the right. Time glances over to see Twilight emerge from the tree-line, his hand over his left shoulder. “...he actually did manage to kill them all.” “...i told you...fuzzball.” Warriors mumbles, his eyes closing. “Are you alright?” Time asks, only to happy to put and arm around the other Hero when he drops down next to him. “I was worried there for a while. I thought maybe these creatures had made a meal of you.” “I don’t think I’d taste that good anyway.” Twilight snorts, letting out a groan when the Old Man kisses him on the forehead. “...Hey...stop that.” “Never do that again.” Time says firmly. “Do what?” Twilight eyes him suddenly. “I didn’t do a damn thing.” “Not you.” Time shakes his head. “I was talking to myself. That is officially the last time we take that shortcut.” Twilight, despite himself, manages to laugh out loud at that. . . .

[cto10121]

review of romeu e julieta (2012) at the globe. thanks to @ariel-seagull-wings for the tag!

so this was a performance by a brazilian troupe in london’s globe itself! i’m shocked that this was even a thing and had the devil of a time wondering if the audience could even understand (conclusion: they did, as they laughed at key lines. surtitles it is). what a treat. so i regret to say that this is one of the worst productions i’ve seen of r&j in awhile. yeah, it was bad. i’ll hugo montenegro-it some more

the good:

portuguese!!!!! tão lindo, always so nice to hear, and the translation of the shakespeare sounded consistently good. the deliveries were fine. this production decided to add in superfluous original lines by the chorus figure to explain the story better. might as well

um. juliet had some elegance? very swan lake-swan.

the friar playing the nino rota love theme from the ‘68 film. made me long to see that movie again

there was a speech in english by the chorus that sounded pretty good. well-written, actually.

that’s it

the bad:

no prologue, even though there was a freakin’ chorus they used substantially. at least in the other globe production there were three choruses—not ideal, but better than nothing

no fight scene (no, i don’t count whatever the hell that was in the beginning). tybalt’s role was so diminished it was painful

romeo on stilts half the time for no reason. at first i thought it was a ~metaphor for how he is so in-the-clouds in his false love over rosaline and how juliet’s love grounds him back to earth. but nope. that’s apparently giving this vacuous production too much credit. after meeting juliet he is back on those damn stilts.

the interpretations were bad. romeo looked mostly pained, juliet just would not stop smiling up until the second half, (she could not do drama, period) benvolio is just whatever about romeo’s pining for rosaline, the nurse insufferable, the friar is a goofy hipster, (?) and tybalt and mercutio nigh non-entities

the endless songs. part of a larger trend, i know (the english-language productions do as much), but in this production it was nigh insufferable. the production really had to use the chorus as the figurative glue because they cut out swaths of text and filled at least a quarter with songs. romeo consistently sang and it was awful. if i hear flor, minha flor one more goddamn time, i’m going to lose it. you want romeu e julieta the musical? do presgurvic in portuguese. or just hit up br0adwaybaby1, she has it in the bag.

yet another production that plays the first half as a comedy and the other half a tragedy. no, no, and no. for one thing, the comic bits weren’t even entertaining, but excruciating and cringey. thanks to this need to entertain or else wrap everything in ironic self-detachment, the black satire of the first half is entirely missed, the romance devoid of passion and therefore reason, and even the feud was not well-established at all.

the ugly:

the short length. i had a feeling this wouldn’t be a great production when i saw the runtime. good r&j productions are never under 2 hours. the globe did an abridged version that was barely adequate, but it also had problems with emotion. probably that filmed live theater version was the only okay abridged version.

the whole beginning sequence. i nearly hit the back arrow, but fortunately i am made of sterner stuff. i lived through weirder r&j stuff before and it has made me strong, you hear?

costumes, sets, the works. this was obviously a minimalist production, but the choices they made went way in the clown direction, literally. there was a car on stage and the nurse had sack boobs. enough saidq

apart from its ubiquity, the music was horrible. par de course for the globe, but still. there was one song r&j sang during their parting scene that wasn’t too bad. but i don’t especially remember it either

one of the most unbelievable r&js i’ve seen in awhile, probably even more so than the other globe production. no gravitas, no passion, not even sweetness. they got better towards the end, but it was way too late. the best i can say about these two is that they didn’t play r&j as caricatures of horny teens, nor did they clown their way through the balcony. small miracles

so i’m completely baffled if pleased that foreign-language productions are apparently a thing in london. but this ain’t it. in short, this version did nothing new with the material; if anything, it took all the worst ideas of most english-language productions (it’s a comedy and then a tragedy! no prologue! tons of music for no good reason! short runtime! excessive clownery!) and performed it in portuguese. this could have been an english-language production and no one would have batted an eye. the critics must have seen worse. i’ve been reading the reviews of some stage r&js in the guardian and even the worst-sounding of them have gotten positive reviews, the critics have gotten so craven.

you want r&j but done differently with contemporary resonance and tons of music? again, broken record here…do. gerard. presgurvic’s musical!!!!!! you fiends

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

imagine : maybe like mid s4 when miyagi-do and eagle fang kids get a bit closer, eli gets closer to daniel (cause let's be honest, its bound to happen, and it would be great for plot) and he tells daniel things that he doesn't tell anyone else (cause he trusts him.) he tells daniel about how guilty he was for breaking demetri's arm, and how bad he feels for pushing him away as hawk.

one day eli finds daniel alone in the dojo and starts one of their sentimental talks. in the middle of it he just blurts out "how do you know youre in love?" and daniel goes on a whole rant, but ends up saying that eli shouldn't be thinking this about a girl he most likely just met. eli shyly whispers "it's not a girl.... ive known him for a long time..." and daniel is like Oh Shit, i get it. he asks "it's demetri, isnt it?" and eli just smiles like a dork and nods.

bonus; daniel is so proud of eli for coming to terms with being in love with demetri and wanting to do something about it :)

Hey I did imagine this and I enjoyed EVERY minute of it, I will HAVE YOU KNOW

YES YES YES Eli and Daniel bonding in Season 4 please and thank you!!! I would LOVE to see that, and I feel like Eli’s actually one of the more likely ex-cobras to bond with Daniel since they could connect over both having gotten bullied, and Daniel might be more willing to give him the benefit of the doubt since I’m sure Demetri would vouch for him nigh-endlessly (and Daniel probably trusts Demetri’s judgement and figures he’s smart enough that he wouldn’t let someone like that into the dojo unless he trusted them wholeheartedly). Kinda love the idea that Eli (and Demetri indirectly) would end up bringing Johnny and Daniel closer together too, through Eli developing a bond with both of them and them both ending up being pretty protective of him. Like both of them definitely appreciate the way he stood up for himself and used karate to fight back against bullies.

Man, I’m always here for Daniel slipping into the Wise Old Mountaintop Sensei role and dishing out ancient-sounding wisdom like Mr. Miyagi XD Truly few things are more calming than the guidance of Daniel LaRusso even when it’s wrong or severely misguided lmao. The man just has an inexplicably soothing presence. But yeah, catch Daniel telling RIGHT the fuck away that Eli’s in love with Demetri literally as soon as Eli says it’s a guy XD I’m sure the way Demetri talks about Eli to Daniel helps too, and how close they freakin’ stand to each other during karate practice XD Like there are just TOO many indicators that there’s just some very non-platonic Vibes going on here.

Daniel ships it so hard, too--after he warms up to Eli and sees how much these boys care for each other, he couldn’t think his two karate sons deserve each other more <3

CATCH DANIEL BEING THE PROUDEST KARATE DAD IN THE WHOLE WORLD THAT ELI FINALLY CAME TO TERMS WITH HIS FEELINGS AND CHEERING HIM ON THE WHOLE WAY WHEN HE FINALLY ASKS DEMETRI OUT

Only wholesome asks tonight, fellas! I’m taking a break from making myself cry about the Binary Boyfriends and the massive angst that follows the poor dudes around!