#frank: i dont want any friends other than you

[sl8yter]

Get It Together - Mühl

Pt 1.

Nikas bestfriend Nahiem is “going through a hard time” and Nika is always there for him. Which causes a lack of presence for her gf.

TW - Angst, mentions of cheating, insecurity, nika being a meanie, and lots of audacity

Im in the mood for angst so sorry yall

Nika Muhl x fem reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Nika.”

….

“Baby hello?”

…

“Nika”

“Huh oh sorry bebo I was texting Nahiem” Nika replies to my endless please in an exasperated tone looking at me standing in the kitchen as I prepare our plates

Dont start and argument please Niks

“Didn’t you guys just hang out last week? You said this week it’d be about us.” I walk towards Nika setting her plate on the table in front of me

“Hes my best friend and hes going through a hard time right now. I cant just ignore him.��� She says finally taking her eyes off her phone to look at me

“Yea I know and I understand that but sometimes it feels like you care about him more than you do me.”

“Well I didn’t mean to make you feel that way and im sorry you do”

I sit down frustrated at her statement slightly banging the plate against the table

“Jesus christ, please dont be like that tonight” Nika says playing with her food

“Youre right, Im sorry its just that I love you you know that I do and I wish to spend time with you but its hard to do that when your friend is dragging you off everywhere. It makes me feel ignored.”

Why am I apologizing shes the one with the attitude

“Well Im sorry you feel that way bebo im not trying to ignore you. I want to spend time with you too. But Nahiem needs me too. We’ve been friends forever you know that” Nika says staring at me with a look in her eyes. The same look she gives me whenever she just wants me to agree with her

“I need you too Nika its not fair youve guys have been hanging out too much. I mean imagine if I went to go hang out with one my guy friends every other day.”

“What the fuck are you trying to imply here” Nikas tone changes. Her syllables grow sharper and her accent comes out

Shes mad

She stares at me waiting for my reply as im silent for a moment

“Im not trying to imply anything. I just want you to understand how it looks from my perspective. Which now you clearly do. I dont think you would do that to me but I cant help but wonder sometimes. Youre always texting him and barely even texting me anymore.”

“Im not cheating on you if thats what youre trying to imply. I lost my appetite, im gonna head out.” She adds with quickness, standing up from her chair and grabbing her keys off the counter

“No you always do this. Whenever things dont go your way or I dont immediately agree with you you leave I want to talk more. I want you to understand me more.” I say chasing after her pulling her arm to make her look at me

“Well I try and you make it so difficult”

“You try? You’re kidding me. I barely see you anymore. I wake up and youre gone. I tell you I want to talk its always im busy or later im out with friends. Im trying it feels like im the only one trying anymore.”

“I try so hard you just dont see it.” She grabs my hand and squeezes it giving me a sorrowful face.

That isnt what she looks like when shes sad

“What dont I see Nika please explain to me” I ask knowing shes full of it. She just wants someone to come home to

…

Her silence makes me snap. I let go of her hand

“Im actually so tired of your bullshit. Im gonna be frank with you since you arent gonna comprehend it any other way. I love you Nika I want to work on our relationship but you have to want that too. At this point ive debated leaving and ive also debated staying in case the sweet girl I knew a year ago wanted to show up again. I think we need couples counsel-”

Im cut off by her grabbing the sides of my face and attempting to kiss me. I retract quickly and try to ask her why she did that but she cuts me off before Ieven start

“Why are you being so difficult right now.” She says giving me a look of disgust. As if a kiss or angry fuck was gonna fix this

“Fuck off Nika. You can leave. Im not the one being difficult. I really dont want to lose you but if youre gonna keep being such a dickhead to me you cant leave. Ive had enough. I try so hard to understand you and I want you to let me im but obviously that isnt gonna happen. I love you but its obvious its not reciprocal.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Leave. Get your self together then you can come back to me. Its gonna be hard to put whatever emotions you have or had for me into words but when you do and you can explain to me why you wanted to throw all this away for me for some guy who probably wants to hit and dip.” I say in the calmest voice possible holding back from yelling at her. If i yell im gonna cry and if I cry Nikas gonna hug me, then ill fold.

I cant give in this time

“Wait bebo im sorry okay I can see how much this hurts you. Lets talk this out I can stop talking to nahiem. I swear he doesnt mean anything to me. I love you let me prove it.” She says, her long and built arms trying to snake around me

“No Nika , I already tried to talk this out. Go back to your dorm, take a shower, and go to sleep. Then we can talk all you want. I need to be alone tonight” I say pushing myself off her as I walk away heading to my room

“Im sorry baby please don’t do this” She says still standing at the door

At least she respects my space

But she doesn’t respect me

“Go to bed Nika” I say before shutting my door

I hear a soft cry before the muffled sound of the door shutting and locking

I hope she does wanna talk in the morning

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also i dont proofread my writing. I write based off what my angelic soul is telling me so if you see some mistakes or some blank spaces 🦍🦍🦍

[yourclumsyguardianangel]

the seven + a few others future headcanons

percy:

becomes a high school teacher

teaches high school marine biology (idk how it is in other schools but when we hit sophomore year we got to choose different bio classes ie: marine bio, ag bio, med bio + regular bio)

also teaches the mythology elective and is the swim team coach

annabeth:

we already know this queen is an architect with obvious inspiration from greek architecture

learns how to make blue food for percy and their kids from sally

has traveled all over the world looking at different architecture

learns the basics of many languages so shes able to communicate with the locals

her and leo team up to build a small school near camp half-blood for year rounders so everyone can learn consistently but dw they get summers off

piper:

love her but shes a nepo baby

she doesnt act like it tho

”are you tristan mcleans daughter?” “who?”

loves her dad to bits but does not like being seen out in public by the paparazzi

marries shel, they dont have kids tho, neither of them want to bring any into the world especially with america’s downfall and the government erasing women and poc rights

is basically leos big sister atp

leo:

him and calypso dont last, maybe a year and a half in they split bc calypso wants to explore the world and leo is very emotionally unstable and calypso has a hard time understanding

they end on good terms but dont ever talk unless its with a group of friends

he goes into a trade to become a mechanic and owns his own shop

starts smoking cigarettes/vaping

his friends dont really approve but they understand he cant quit just yet as hes not in a mental space to do so

goes to therapy with a psychologist whos a demigod that specializes in grieving and war trauma

they all go to therapy but hes the last one to do it

he’s still the ‘happy go lucky’ guy hes always been but as he gets closer w the others they start to see the true sadness in him

piper and him grow a lot closer after jason died and have a big sister little brother relationship

hazel:

my girl stays at camp jupiter

takes nicos place at camp

horse trainer

her and frank also dont work out as a romantic relationship, they felt that the age gap was too much after frank turned 18 and hazel was 15 theyre still friends tho

hazel often visits leo in his shop

as much as leo reminds her of sammy, through therapy she has recognized that theyre separate people and to not push all her past feelings for sammy onto leo

not only does she train horses but she also teaches little kids basic math, science, and history to the younger kids

they all call her ms. hazel

she prefers to teach the really young kids (age 4-7)

wears her hair in different braid styles after BOO

frank:

my friggin HOMIE

i relate to frank a lot personality wise

therefore i think hed be a 4/20 fanatic after BOO

hes not stoned during training or during important camp duties

but otherwise you try talkin to him and you dont really notice until you look and see the far off look and red eyes and he just goes “huh?”

other than that hes a great leader

after he gets his cool new look from mars he takes really good care of his body including consistent exercise and eating really healthily (maybe he has a soft spot for fast food when hes hi)

him joining the military does not make sense to me

he lost his mom to war, and he was in one himself, idk about you but i would not wanna join the military after being the main character in a war

he studies to be a veterinarian for exotic animals

when no one is around he shifts into the animal to find out whats wrong

”dr. zhang prefers to work by himself” “why” “idk but hes always right, if it aint broke dont fix it”

jason:

rip home-slice

nico:

my other homie

my guy does not get taller than 5’8

stays at camp during the summer to train the new and old kids

him and will get a house together

teaches history at the camp school

cat dad (5 cats and counting)

will:

takes nicos last name when they marry bc its cooler

him being a doctor doesnt click w me i more picture him being an EMT

EMTs are hotter anyways

does med training with new apollo kids whenever he gets time

if he’s not busy during working hours he drops by nicos classroom w his fav drink from dutch bros (starbucks is MID) and hangs out with him and his students

[prettyboykatsuki]

u don’t have to answer but how do u long for someone u loved so much at 14 while also being deeply committed to your partner. no judgement in pbk land i am just a lil drunk and trying to understand

i will try my best to explain this but being very frank (and not at all in a negative way!!) i think we are probably just two fundamentally different people with two vastly different concepts of what constitutes love and longing

the short answer is simply bc they are different people. my love for this person (ill call them j) and my partner are separate things. because they are just separate humans and separate experiences. the things i love about them sometimes overlap but they are both my people in different ways. i would never compare them.

its all very messy but all three of us are close also. like this person is my partners best friend and the whole arrangement is kind of complicated and idk how much i wanna air my business out kfjfshdkj. tldr is that me and j love each other very deeply in a way that is not romantic nor quite platonic and they are someone that will always be in my life. we did try romance sort of but they are aro and i dont think that feeling is what i feel for them anyway. its different to what my partner makes me feel.

so the sense of love and longing is not the exact same though it's probably closer to 'romance' then what we view typically as friendship. like i hold them in my lap and other gay shit lol

im the kind of queer that is very free love about these kinds of things. my partner has a qpr who i dont know and everything too

my partner is my life partner and the person i feel closest to in my life. it is romantic of course but its also more than that. i talk to him about everything and trust in him to communicate and vice versa. if im jealous or lonely or scared - i tell him and we work it out and he does the same for me and we check in on each other all the time. he comes first and he always will.

but my love and affection for someone else does not dim my love for him. love isnt a scarce resource i have to preserve but something i give of my own will. its not a threat because there's nothing to threaten. no love will replace him because it's not like anyone can be him any way.

when your love for someone transcends the role they fill in your life, a lot of doors open about who and how you love i think. i fall in love and experience affection for people as they are if i had to put it to words. not because of what they can do or a desire for connection but because the experience of them, specifically, moves me. i cant really speak for other people but for me its like that.

im not someone who really personally subscribes to monogamy and i never really have. my partner and i have had a more open relationship for all of it pretty much with some years and my trust in him has only deepened over time and through several wounds.

i long and crave and miss people because they are who they are. no person is replaceable ykwim. so the absence of someone cant be filled by someone else and it also cant be changed by another person. my partner is my life partner and the man i want to marry someday.

but j is my j. i love them because they have silly idiosyncrasies. theyre a talented artist and skittish with affection and sensitive. and i love them so deeply it makes me sick. i love how much they try for me.

and i love my partner just as much. we'll spend new years together, all three of us (and j's whole family dsjfjsld) - but im seeing them both separately and im sure they'll see each other separately too

so its like these things are not contradictory to me in anyway. they're not feelings in conflict with one another inside of me at all. its complicated but relationships are always that way

i hope that made a little sense!! its kind of hard to explain without extra context!!

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

update 11/21

update 2/15. half life now. 💙

actual serious pinned because some people dont Understand the other one apparently. i talk about serious things and that does include gore and essentially anything that would need a tw. huge gore draw-er also. serious things basically. most if not all portrayal of mental illnesses is based on my own experiences so do not come here saying you dont like how i show it. that being said my blog is not all entirely about that and its mostly silly and or shitposts actually. also i actually dont usually tw things uhmm. were playing roulette here. basically if you get triggered by anything i wouldnt recommend being here its always a 50/50 on if i post something silly or traumatic. dont vent in my inbox unprompted i do not fucking care i will not respond and you will only make me uncomfortable. dont be weirdly sexual at me!! i am a minor!!! i dont fucking care nor want to hear about your sex life or about your fantasies or your private areas!!!!!!! dont shove weird relationship statuses onto me either. i am not your family i am a stranger on the internet

do Not post my art uncredited unless ur a mutual or i say its fine im serious idgaf if its just a silly doodle

standard dni i guess. racists terfs homophobes proshippers zoophiles. all that. also people that ship Real Life People Instead Of The Characters. youre all fucking weird and i dont want you here ill actively make fun of you and then block

i am pro endo and i have endo friends so if you dont like that its ultimately up to you if you wanna be here or not. most htfasj fans have me blocked but if you are one and you dont ur on thin ice bro. im not forgiving any of you for fucking jumping me for saying i wasnt a fan of it. also please for the love of god if you ship glsneeg with any of the other characters do Not talk to me about it because there is a good chance i will throw up in my mouth and block you. glanboo/hetch shippers on thin ice. guy who came up with that kind of ruined it for me and now it just makes me feel uncomfortable most of the time

i have autism and im gay and i use faggot. i have some other problems that will fuck me up or that ill talk about sometimes but thats all you really need to know so im not going to dox my medical problems here

i have an instagram if ur not on the tumblr grind also

less important stuff under cut heart emoji

nearly everyone i interact with calls me sneegen. idc if new people do its basically my government name atp

this blog is genloss themed but also i talk about my genloss ocs more than the actual thing now 😓 still a huge genloss fan but sneeg and frank are the only guys ill ever talk about in there and i will throw up slash negative if i have to talk about glanboo. do NOT come here asking about glanboo unless ur a mutual im serious. i take sneeg/frank and the horror that comes with it so violently seriously and overall theres a few genloss ships i like so if ur one of those guys that think any shipping is weird you probably wont like it here. also i usually dont use any of the main tags for. anything i post. if you wanna find something youre stuck to manually searching just like everyone else sorry

kind of multifandom i guess. i have moments where i get really fixated on other media and i post about it for a bit. sneegsnag is usually a common factor in this. heavily into marble hornets creepypastas tmnt dantdm jacksepticeye and markiplier. both of their ego content and any of marks projects by extension. not into ethan nestor As Much but he is included and so is blankgameplays. i like qsmp but if i talk about it its only ever abt qsneeg or qcharlie or qdantdm and his family sometimes. osmp enjoyer but again ill only talk about sneeg if i talk about it at all

the biggest music enjoyer in the world guys. not a professional but i will talk about songs i like sometimes. tfb and teenage disaster mostly i think. maybe typhoon and bcnr also. maybe even alot of midwest emo because im a loser. im literally tfbs biggest fan guys

for my dumbass ocs i do talk about and draw them Alot. and theres alot of heavy stuff in their stories so like. if you get badly triggered by gore or murder especially i wouldnt. recommend reading into them too much. but idrk why youd be here if you did thats like my whole thing really. i dont usually talk about the actual triggering stuff in their stories i think at most ill make a vague comment that implies something but thats about it

you are allowed to draw and write and make hcs and aus for my guys i actually actively encourage it and also show me when you do i think its wonderful. ill talk about them forever if you ever wanna know something just ask and theres a 85% chance ill actually answer it

the only things im 100% serious about for my ocs is that theres canon ships for a reason. i do not give a FUCK if you think a different one is better or interesting because its not. if you come into my asks shipping anything that isnt canon im actually going to block you. im very nitpicky about this because they are My creations and every single thing about them is heavily important to me. also if you baby or demonize any of my ocs im allowed to kill you legally btw.

I DONT GIVE A DAMN IF YOU WANT MY OCS CARNALLY!!! there are certain times where i wont mind if you say stuff like that about them just DONT TELL ME ALL THE TIME!!! it is funny sometimes and sometimes i may encourage it but please god dont tell me how you want to fuck them in graphic detail unprompted. also if thats the only thing you talk to me about and you dont actually bother to know them as characters i will probably block you!!!!

if you want my ocs included in your oc lore please just. Talk To Me. about it. please. if youre normal and dont violently misinterpret my ocs ill probably be okay with it just TALK TO ME ABOUT IT

heavy encouragement to use all your braincells to interpret my ocs characters properly. idk how much more mischaracterizing in my inbox i can take

[coffeerow]

i dont really see what the correlation is, about mentioning the sexualization of bioware characters in the comparison of romances (and by "romance" in my case i do not mean sex scenes specifically, i also mean the buildup/establishment of chemistry between characters in the pursuit of a relationship) in bioware vs bethesda games. i really do resent the hypersexualization of bioware characters in general but like, that's a completely separate can of worms than in my initial post, and i also mentioned in my initial post (in a very long-winded way, sorry OP) that the platonic and non-sexual relationships/friendships in bethesda games are Also just formulated wildly differently compared to in bioware games, not just the romances. am i saying bethesda npc interactions are weak? not at all. like, these two sets of games have cutscene layout systems that are just different.

i have read the stuff about the changes after each reset (and also the fact that you can use console commands to force the wilder differences immediately, lol) which again, is neat, but i guess it's not my cup of tea personally. still had a lot of fun with the game tho!

hey besties on tumblr! what are your thoughts on starfield?

tell me your praises and criticisms of it, whether you’ve just seen gameplay or it or have actually played it yourself!

(this is for a video essay, so your response may be featured in it)

[uwu-reading-thing]

Here is a WIP Of the Madeline POV fanfiction I was talking about the other day. I did the episode I was currently on at the time. If anyone points out me spelling Michael as both Micheal and Michael I'll lose it. I know. I promise It will be fixed. 😭���� most of the progress I have left on this is fixing verbage or word flow and stuff like that.as well as spelling errors. (So many fucking spelling errors)

It's a great sign when you're correctness score is 54℅ and everything is 80℅ and above. 😭

It's gonna be under the cut cause according to Grammarly it's an 11 minute read. 25 if you're reading it aloud. Its almost 2.8k words. (I did not intend to write that much)

Season 5 episode 15.

I was getting ready for my date with Benny when Micheal decided to call me out of the blue. He said something about needing to tell me something. Didn't let me get a damn word in. If he did I would have told him I had a date tonight which is a lot more important to me than any spy business he needs my help with. I love Micheal. I'd do anything for him but Benny is one of the first guys I've chosen right. He's much better than that fling I had with Sam's buddy a while back. That was sweet but just a fling. He wasn't sustainable in the long run. Not like I'd want him around much longer with how much Michael couldn't mind his own during that whole thing. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. I don't need my son doing it for me—Benny's a lot better than Frank too, at least near the end. I loved Frank a lot at one point, oh to be young and in love. Some days I regret him. Some days I dont.

I look in the mirror and do the finishing touches on my hair. Another good thing about Benny, Micheal likes him. Or at least I hope he does. He's done a couple of double dates with him and that must count for something. I do hope Micheal likes him. It's not like I'll stop dating him if he doesn't. But it would be nice to see the boys I care about get along. As I'm putting my last earring in I hear Micheal come in.

"Whatever you're here for, Micheal, it can wait." I start walking towards Micheal trying to finish putting my last earring in. "Benny's on his way" I can't help a smile pass my lips as I think about the night out we have. "He's gonna take me to the movies" I bend over to grab my purse and leave.

"Actually, mom... It's about Benny" I hear the hesitation in his voice. He only speaks like that when there's bad news. My smile slips from my face, a million thoughts rushing through my mind.

"About Benny? What's wrong"

"The man who's blackmailing me, Anson.. He's using Benny to spy on you and us."

"What" I laugh. God this can't be true. I won't let this be true. "Michael, Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not being ridiculous. It's true, ma. We traced a phone call."

"You're serious" Michael looks away nodding. This can't be true. He has to be lying. This is just like when he kept me away from Sam's friend. "No way. Benny isn't like that. He's not a spy."

"You're right Mom. He's not." Micheal uncrosses his arms and hands me the files. I feel stupid not noticing those in his hands before. "He's not a trained operative. But Anson is teaching him some tricks- how to spot a tail, not parking in the same space twice"

"No- see. I- um. I told Benny a lot of those crazy things that you had me do. That's probably why he's acting like this" This can't be true. Not Benny. Not another person using me for my son. My always hunted son.

"Mom, he's acting like an asset who's being run by a spy" His voice gets firmer. The truth gets harder to deny. "I have to bug his place this afternoon. So keep him at the movies Just act normal." Great. I'm being used again for my son. Except this time I'm deceiving a man I love. A man who's been deceiving me for a long while. Maybe even since the start.

I look back down at the file with photos of the man I love doing incriminating things. "You make it sound so easy."

"It is, Ma"

"It's easy for you." He doesn't get it. He doesn't get how much I care. "Ever occur to you you're wrong"

"Im not wrong" his voice is soft. Almost sorry. I want to say more to fight to argue. To tell him that he is. That Benny couldn't do it. Not the man I love. The doorbell rings before a thought finishes itself to become a sentence to retort at him. "I know this hurts you but you have to trust me on this" His voice is that soft sorry tone still.

"No. Not on this one. I'll find out the truth my own way." I walk away from him to go to the door. To go to Benny "And if you're right. I'll plant the bug myself But if you're wrong-" I open the door.

"Hi." Benny stands outside smiling with flowers.

"Hey. Benny, Hi." he hands me the flowers "Oh they're beautiful"

"For a beautiful woman." He steps inside. I look him in the eyes. An asset? What nonsense. Not my Benny. He kisses me on the cheek.

"Thank you" Micheal walks over smiling. His entire demeanor shifts. Not something I'm not used to. But something that specifically hurts now. How could you be so friendly to the man I love after asking me to betray him?

Benny turns to face him " Hello Micheal"

They shake hands "Good to see you, Benny."

"How you doing? Hey, listen you wanna join us?" I look between Micheal and Benny. Looking for something in either of their faces. Hoping for an answer. Benny just continues. " I'm not normally a fan of romantic movies but I promised your mom I would take-"

"Thanks for the invite" Micheal cuts him off before he can finish. His tone is raised slightly. He does it when he's annoyed. Others might not notice but I do. "But I have to go do something" vague. Classic Micheal.

"Oh, that sounds mysterious. What is it"

"It's me. Always working."

Benny laughs. "Okay." He pats Micheal back as he walks by and out the door.

"Have fun you two." I watch as Micheal closes the door behind him.

"You about ready" Benny places his land on my lower back.

"Yea. I just have to put these in water." He got me very beautiful flowers.

I walk away to go find a vase. He waits by the door checking the clock for time. I love this man. I trust this man. He is not a spy or an asset or whatever Micheal said he was. He's Benny. The man I know. The man I loved. I can't be wrong. I can't keep on being wrong about the men I love. I grab a vase from a cabinet and start filling it with water. How am I going to even figure out if Benny is an 'asset' anyway? I know I said I would but I don't know where to start.

"So have you planned on what movie you're taking me to see" I place the flowers on the vase and walk them to a table. Benny watches me as I do all this. Is Micheal right? Is he just watching me? Or does he love me? Or did I just start a conversation and now he's looking at me? I'm being too paranoid.

"Oh, I don't want to ruin the surprise. Are you ready to go now? We don't want to be late."

"I'm all set." I wrap my arm around Benny's as he leads me outside. He walks me to the passenger side of the car and opens it for me.

I chuckle "Oh you spoil me." I sit myself down in my seat.

"I only do it for the best, Maddie." He smiles as he closes his door and walks around to the other side.

Deep breathes. He's not an asset. He's Benny. He's the man you love. Micheal is just paranoid. And his paranoia has got me all in a tailspin. We're going to watch a movie. We are going to have a great time. He is not using me to spy on Micheal. He loves me.

"Is something wrong Maddie" I look up and see we are already on the move. I don't remember when he got into the car or when we started driving off.

"Oh. I'm just lost in my thoughts. Something Micheal said. You know how it is."

"That son of yours. Always getting more attention than me. Even on dates."

"Well, He's my son Benny. I would do anything for him. He's always my first choice." I keep my head facing forward but let my eyes flicker off to the side to see if I can read anything on his face. I don't know what I'm hoping to see it's not like he's going to say 'Really Maddie? Guess I have to admit I've been using you to get to him then.'

He smiles and then nods "I wouldn't expect anything less from a mother as loving as you. What did he say?" I wince at that question internally. Is he curious because he wants to be there for me? Or is he curious because he's here to spy on me and Micheal?

"Oh, he never gives me details. That boy and making his mother worry. It was something about someone spying on him. I told him he was just paranoid. He always is. He's the type to believe his own shadow is tailing him." I wait for some big reaction. For something I could use to prove to Micheal, that he's not an asset. Anything I could use to prove that to myself. Just a sliver of proof one way or another.

He just chuckles. His sweet caring chuckle. I hope to God Micheal is wrong.

--------

I sit outside Benny's house with a bottle of wine, pecan pie, and salmon in my passenger seat. The perfect excuse to break into my boyfriend's house and search for proof he isn't lying to me. That Micheal is wrong.

He's away from home and he shouldn't be back for a while. I put the cigarette to my lips breathing in. Letting the smoke settle my nerves. Time to prove Micheal wrong. I grab the pecan pie and salmon. Leaving the wine in case I need an excuse for one of us to go run and grab it. Once I'm at his door, I place the food down for a second grabbing the fake rock with the key in it. Once I get inside I make quick work of setting an alibi. The one thing I've learned is, If you're going behind someone's back you better have an excuse for why you're there. I set the table up for two. It's a really sweet gesture if it wasn't a lie.

I walk around the house searching for anywhere that would be a good hiding spot, making sure that anything I touch is back the way I left it. I find a locked drawer. As I grab a bobby pin from my shirt pocket I pray it's nothing. I rifle through planners, pencils, and notepads. Relieved I see nothing until an odd piece of wood on the bottom of the drawer stands out to me. I move it to discover a hole. The drawer has a false bottom. Dread inches its way across my face. No. Please don't be true. I lift it to see a file with photos and photos of Michael with Sam and Fiona. Why did he have to be right? Why did Benny have to do this to me? Why couldn't I choose a good man that doesn't put me and my son in danger?

Keys Jingle from outside. I shove the files back in and close the drawer as fast and as quietly as I can. I stand up and turn towards the door to see Benny getting back home.

"Maddy. What are you doing here?" He looks surprised to see me.

"What do you think I'm doing here? Suprising you" It hurts to lie to him. It hurts to do this.

"Well... How did you get in?" He walks up to me. He's less than a foot away. Moments ago I would have loved him to be so near. But now I'm worried he'll figure out why I am actually here.

I laugh a bit, "Benny. I mean, come on" I let a smile slip across my lips. "I stayed over a few times. That fake rock of yours doesn't fool anybody."

"Well why wouldn't you just-"

I cut him off "Why wouldn't I just make dinner for my boyfriend" I gesture towards the alibi I brought. "Salmon you're favorite. And for dessert pecan pie."

"Pecan pie? You know me too well Madd"

"Better every day, Benny" I feel the pain in the words as I say them. I know him too well now.

"Oh, I left wine in the car. Will you get it? And I'll set the table."

"Ok. You got to remind me to leave the house more often" He leans in for a kiss. As our lips touch I can't keep my eyes off him. Watching for what he's going to do next. Scared he knows something somehow.

Once he leaves the house I grab his landline and place the bug. Micheal was right. My stubborn boy was right once again.

--------

Once again I sit outside my boyfriend's house. At this point former boyfriend. MIcheal in the driver seat with the radio in hand. We both listen to the bastard who betrayed me. I keep flipping through the file of Benny Micheal had given me trying to make sense as to why he would do this.

"Ma, you don't have to do this. I'm fine sitting here by myself."

I put the paper down and cross my arms. "It's Okay, I don't care how long it takes. I planted that bug. I want to hear what he has to say. I want to know if it was all a lie"

"It's never all a lie. It's always more complicated than that" Micheal turns to look at me.

I turn away. "I thought he had feelings for me" I feel my voice quiver.

"Honestly, he probably did" I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse. It's nice to know it wasn't all fake. But heartbreaking to know he would betray me while still liking me.

"Hello" The radio crackles with Benny's voice.

"You haven't been returning my calls" The voice of a man I don't know responds. I'm assuming it's the man Micheal was talking about earlier. Anson? The one blackmailing him.

"That must be Anson on the other end" Micheal looks focused. My guess was right. Lucky me. I get to hear the conversation between the man who betrayed me and the man blackmailing my son.

"I've done everything you've asked of me" Benny's voice comes through the radio again. "When will it be enough?"

"When I say it is. You did take my money after all" Anson's voice responds. So it was for money. I wonder how much money it took to hurt me like this.

"yes. I took your money. And I feel terrible. And I'd take it all back if I could. I hurt this woman."I felt a tidbit of relief at his words. Micheal was right. It wasn't all fake. He cared about me. In some way, he cared about me. "And I'm thinking she's starting to suspect something." Oh.

"Now is not the time to panic. Do you understand"

"I understand"

"Did you get the package I sent you"

"I got the package"

"Package" curiosity fills Michael's voice. I'm guessing he didn't know about this little part of Benny and Anson's deal.

"I don't understand why I need another wireless mic. The one I have works just fine" Benny's voice rings in my ears. A mic? How long has he been micced? On all our dates? The double dates I took him on? When I'm spending the night at his house? When he was at mine. What time in our relationship wasn't under observation for this Anson guy?

Michael gets out of the car and starts running towards Benny's house.

"Mi- Michael! What's happening?"

"Yes, I'm opening it." Benny's voice rings out over the radio again.

"Michael!" I don't get what's happening. But I'm worried. Michael wouldn't leave the car unless it was important. What's with the package? What's going to happen?

*BOOM*

I gasp as Benny's house gets blown up. Benny. Oh no.

Michael turns back to look at me as I stare in horror at the smoke billowing out of his house. The package was a bomb. The man I loved is dead.

[books-and-strawberry-tea]

Discarded Good Reads TBR

1/11/24

I was gonna leave this till New Years 25, but decided to do it early. Yes it's November, but I have over 600+ in my good reads tbr and would rather get it sorted sooner rather then later. Some of these books and been on my list for years. So long I didn't even remember I had a good reads account. So lets go!

Can I Steal You for a Second

The Lady Upstairs

Silverglass

Night Tide

Off The Record

Dearly Departed

Melt With You

Her Countess to Cherish

Two Winters

Never Ever Getting Back Together

Mistakes Were Made

The Fiance Farce

Victories Greater Than Death

Fake It

The Hellion's Waltz

Payback's a Witch

Cool for the Summer

In The Event of Love

Something Borrowed

In Her Shoes

The Fault In Our Stars

Bridget Jones Diary

The Devil Wears Prada

Confessions of a Shopahoplic

The Help (As you can see from the last few listings, I went through a time were I wanted to read the books of some of the movies I loved but I've just lost interest in doing this. Doesn't help that the people who wanted to read them with me didn't end up reading them either.)

Good In Bed

A Lady's Guide to Scandal (turns out this book was a sequel)

The Dead Cat Tail Assassins

If I Stopped Haunting You

I Hope This Doesn't Find You

Funny Story

A Witch's Guide to Magical Innkeeping

The Ballad Of Never After

A Curse For True Love (Iykyk)

Safe Haven (An Aussie Book, I'm wanting to read Chai Time of Cinnamon Gardens, and if I like this book I'll try the other one)

Wrong Text, Right Love

Spellbound in the Stacks

That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf

That Time I Got Drunk and Saved A Demon

Girls Weekend

Parties

Redeeming 6

Saving 6

Keeping 13

Binding 13

Not In Love

Taming 7

Hate Mail

To Woo And To Wed

Haunt Your Heart Out

Otherworldly

Truly, Madly, Deeply

Make The Season Bright

I Feed Her To The Beast Series

Tangled Up In You

Werewolf's Guide to Seducing A Vampire

King of Sloth (Kings Of Sin Series as a whole)

Ready or Not

Kilt Trip

Dead To The World

Dead of Night

Dead Weight

Dead Wrong

A Thousand Broken Pieces

She Who Rose From Ashes

Rebel Belle

Sinner's Anonymous Series

Pretty Little Liar's (I loved the tv show but I dont feel like reading the books anymore)

Peculiar Tastes Series

Children of Blood And Bone

We Used To Live Here

Shatter Me

A Sweet Sting of Salt

My Darling Dreadful Thing

The Summer of Broken Rules

Morrighan (The Remnant Chronicles)

Beasts of Gatamora Series

Dungeons and Drama

Rewitched

The Cottage Around the Corner

A Hunger Like No Other

Crimson Debt

Scream For Us

The Binding

The Betrayals

The Undermining of Twyla and Frank

The Undercutting of Rosie and Adam

A Rival Most Vial

The Volcano Girls

Vampire Girl

The Christmas Appeal

The Pairing

By Any Other Name

Small Miracles

Hum

YouthJuice (I DNFed this. Dunno why its in the TBR list on GR. Boring as all hell)

My Best Friends Exorcism

The Raag of Rta

Silent Sister

The Price Guide to the Occult

Never Fall for a Dragon

The Gathering Dark

Mortal Skin

At Least You Have Your Health

After The Forest

Fit To Do

Natural Beauty

The Glow

All Night Pharmacy

Guillotine

The Vanishing at Castle Moreau

Slasher Girls and Monster Boys

In The Dream House

The Dark Within Us

The Vampires Melody

The Invocations

Such Sharp Teeth

The Ones Who Come Back Hungry

Indian Burial Ground

Castle of the Cursed

Diavola

Haunt Sweet Home

The Dangerous Ones

Fang Fiction

So Let Them Burn

The Woods All Black

We Shall Be Monsters (Turns out I had two books under this name from two different authors)

The Botanical Daughter

Red In Tooth And Claw

Such Lovely Skin

Incidents Around The House

The House Of Last Resort

I Accidently Summoned A Demon Boyfriend

Together We Burn

Even Though I Knew The End

The Monsters We Defy

The Magpie Lord

Mortal Follies

The Dead Romantics

A lot of the books I got rid of in the older tabs were contemporary genre, and there's not a whole lot of contemporary books I like. At least as a whole. There are exceptions but mainly, I find the genre boring. I feel like if it's contemporary, it has to be something really gripping or deranged for me to stay entertained. Murder mysteries and thrillers that are particularly messed up (I loved Butcher & Blackbird), Dark Romance (Adored Haunting Adeline and everything else I've read so far from H.D. Carlton.)

(Also just side note, a lot of the older books listed in my list reminded me of bi erasure and how its alive and well. Bi characters are always listed as lesbian. It's so stupid. Anyway, rant over.)

Books I found that I forgot about (That sound amazing!!)

Spice Road

Off With Their Heads

Dragonfruit

The Lunar Chronicles (I always forget about this series but it looks really awesome, and really want to give it a go)

The Heir of The Beast (I keep missing being able to read this.)

I now have 490 on my list, I may go through it again. Cause there's still a lot on the list. If I go through it again, I'll edit this post. If you've read any of these books, and you think I should reconsider, please let me know!., , ..0 (Greetings from my cat apparently)

[juniorig0327]

Thinking about my Robin AU, the origins of Percy, etc.

I wanted to play around with Percy being an experiment of some of the dark multiverse Batman variants because like, why not yk? I wanna do something different for once. And so I'm thinking maybe he was experimented on. At first he was a normal kid, but after losing his mom the dark knights found him and Barbatos decided Percy would be perfect, being as he was so very similar to Bruce. Percy had everything a kid could want, despite not being rich, despite his shitty step-dad. But he made one kid mistake and now his mom was gone and he was stuck living to his step dad. Until the Dark Knights found him and took him in under the guise of helping him, but they experimented on him instead and turned him into a weapon (Damian vibes, ikr?)

And so he's found, saved from whatever hellhole he was in, and naturally he has no idea how to act. So he studies Bruce Wayne, looks him up, and everything is sort of ranging from fake smiles to crazy ass "drunk" shit.

So naturally, Percy follows that example and after a few years, which is when the story takes place he's become a bit of a party animal and nobody can really stop him. And the only time he isn't taking like that is when he's Robin, which Bruce sort of did as a way to ground him.

Now whenever people think of the "angry" robin, that's basically what Percy is. He's sort of bitter, and has been for a while so he uses Robin as an outlet. That's not saying he isn't nice or kind, he is. Just generally to other members of the Bat fam like Jason or Dick, someone who can sort of understand.

Anyways, Percy is very emotionally driven.

I've been thinking about other characters and I think I want Grover to be his speedster. Grover would be the new speedster chosen by the speed force after the retirement of Barry Allen (I dont read alot of flash comics so apologize if i get some stuff wrong with these super heroes). Grover would be one of the people Percy is actual open with and they're essentially best friends. Percy is there for Grover when he has trouble being a hero (as Grover would be the least experienced) while Grover is there for Percy when he's essentially drinking and partying himself to death and helping him get back on his feet.

Next up we have our Kryptonian, who is apart of a lineage who left Krypton thousands of years prior to the explosion. Their family has been living at the same planet for a while now, but he's bored. He wants to go out and explore what other planets space has to offer and ends up on Earth. Now, I actually have zero idea what character I want to make this because I wanted to make Thalia, Jason, and Reyna amazonians, which Jason being similar to Diana's brother (of the same name funny enough). He wouldn't be fully Kryptonian and would have some distant blood of other alien species from prior to them settling on whatever planet, but no crazy powers besides typical Kryptonian powers for now. So uh comment any ideas you have.

Now the next member is a Martian which would be Frank. I feel like Frank fits this role perfectly ngl. A Frank who's finally completed his training and joins Percy's hero team to prove himself.

Either Thalia or Reyna as the Amazonian, but probably Reyna. I don't know much about the wonder woman comics sadly so I'll have to come up with a backstory later.

Connor Stoll, seeking to break free from the Arrow Family, specificially his older brother, Travis and finding himself, leading him to joining this young superhero team.

And finally Annabeth Chase, who is more of an honorary member rather than anything. I think I want Annabeth to be possibly Batgirl?? I haven't though it out. Maybe she's a legit child of Bruce and was Robin prior to Percy and after the role of Robin became vacant but got seriously injured which led to Bruce essentially firing her.

Annabeth eventually becomes a vigilante in her own right regardless, even despite Bruce trying to keep her away from that life and steps up when Robin vanishes.

Anyways I was thinking about names bcuz there's no way I'm using Teen Titans. Maybe Outcasts (Or is it too similar to the Outlaws??)

I feel like I'm gonna have ALOT of fun with this and I think I'm gonna start writing it rn. Luckily for me I don't have to put alot of elaborate plot into this because its legit comics, but I do want to have some plot in here.

Anyways, coming soon than you think so, be on the lookout.

[rdiowx]

FRANKENSTEIN FRANK IERO

Now posted on my ao3: Cndlewax

Frankenstein frank iero x gn! Reader

Ik i said this would be longer but I’ve been working on this for days and i actually dont know what i was going to do with it lmk if i should go on with the series

Now i when was trying to figure out which Frank era would fit Frankenstein i was thinking revenge so thats what i went with and is described here. However now that i think about it, Leathermouth and danger days wouldve been viable options (WHY DIDNT I DO DANGER DAYS IM LITERALLY SOBBING)

Reader is technically Frankenstein and Frank is Frankensteins monster, its like 1930s id like to think because of the 1931 Frankenstein movie, Reader is a mad scientist, Reader is lowkey kinda insane im not gonna lie (because who thinks of this kinda thing), Mikey shows up i just feel like he’s Frankensteins assistant Material, kind of detailed mention of limbs being sewn and stapled together, i mean technically Frank is put in an electric chair…, usage of Y/n,(i do plan on making this a series however if i do id probably move it to ao3 and it would be random chapters of teaching frank random things).

The village ‘mad scientist’ also known as Y/n, You had been rumored to be working on something for years, and you have. Today it should finally be done. You were currently hunched over your project, a man covered in staples, stitches and all sorts of other things. You make sure each limb is sturdy, sewing or stapling multiple times if you have to. When he comes to life —and you will make sure he will— you wouldnt want him to fall over. You need to make sure he can hold his body weight up. you are pulled out of your focus when you hear the lab door open, “I’ve brought good news.” Mikey exclaimed, holding a larger than average beaker in his hands.

You broke out into an extremely unsettling smile, Mikey only smiles back, used to your behavior having been friends with you since you were kids. “Did you get it Mikey?” You asked, at the edge of your seat, He only nods in response. You laugh and spin in your chair towards him, you grab and kiss his face enthusiastically. He playfully gags and wipes his face, having set the beaker down at your work table.

“What would i ever do without you Michael?” You exclaimed, Taking the beaker and quickly making your way to your experiment. Using your lab table to set him at a 90 degree angle you took the top of his head off, you needed to connect his brain stems. You needed to detach multiple places in order to do it, luckily you thought ahead and thought not to stitch these places before hand. Mikey made sure you had enough light to complete this task, holding a simple flashlight above your work area.

After attaching everything correctly you stapled and sewed, it would be a shame if all your hard work went to waste due to some poor patch job. You had been working on this for years, and finally you could finish it. You had done this once before, not anything near as big as this project, but on a salamander when you and Mikey were 16. The day you revived that salamander was the day you earned the ‘mad scientist’ title. “We’ve waited years for this Mikey, i dont think i possibly couldve gotten this done without you.” You said, wheeling over the machine that was going to bring your experiment to life. Mikey smiles proudly as you looked his way, quickly moving to your side as you waved your hand for him to come to you.

“You’re fucking crazy.” Mikey teased, smiling your way before putting his metal goggles —which you made to fit his glasses perscription because he complained about not being able to see every time— on for protection and stepping away from the now powered up machine. You only smile in response, putting your metal welding headgear on before pulling the last lever. The light from the electricity filled the room, you were sure any nosy civilian would be curious if they were outside right now. Turning off the machine you lift your headgear off before checking your experiment. Seeing his fingers twitch filled you with hope, a quiet groan filled your ears looking over, Mikey had a smug look on his face. You looked back towards the now living thing, His hazel eyes looking straight forward. “I feel like he needs a name, what are you thinking?” Michael asked, tilting his head before taking his goggles all the way off and setting them aside.

“Frank.” You replied simply, taking in the mans appearance.

He had a slight green discoloration, covered from head to toe in stitches and staples. you could see the stitches make indents and stretch his skin as well as with the staples, you were lucky he didnt have pain receptors or this would be a lot harder to pull off. A simple screw on the side of his head it was a decently sized one but not huge, maybe as big or slightly bigger than your hand. It was a screw that required a Phillips screw driver even though it was turnable by hand, his eyes had bags and his hair was greasy. His hair was nothing you had seen before, the sides were a light blonde and he seemed to have a mohawk but it was slicked down by the sheer amount of grease that had built up over the years and the front of his hair sat in the middle of his face. He was wearing an old suit you found in your closet, you dont know who it belonged to but you didn’t exactly care all that much. He looked to have had piercings from were you stapled his face, But it kinda fit him after all you could always fix it later. After a while you realized you would have to teach him how to do things again, he’s not what he once was. “Alright (Y/n), i have to go. Gerard is waiting for me to get back home and its getting dark.” Michael informed, hanging his lab coat on his designated hook by the door. “Be safe Michael, wouldnt want to lose my favorite lab partner.” You laughed, Michael rolled his eyes on the way out but not before shouting “im your only lab partner!” You could swear you could hear him mumble a quiet “Im your only friend at that.” Making you roll your eyes, you couldn’t be mad if he was right.

Now you were sat in your lab with your own creation staring back at you. ‘Lets see what you can still do.’ You thought to yourself before walking around to the still seated man. You lifted his arm to see if he could hold it up, He turned his head to face you and surprisingly he could, these are great signs. you sat in your spin chair and rolled your way to your clipboard that was on your desk. You needed to write stuff for your experiment down, right now you were the happiest you had been in years. You couldn’t suppress the slight smile on your face as you tested the staple covered man. After finishing your tests you wanted to move on to his speech, since you were the one who put him together you knew he was capable of doing so.

The only problem was you didnt know how, sure you knew how to talk but you didnt really know how to hold a conversation, if it wasn’t for Mikey you dont think you would talk at all if it wasn’t to yourself. Being the village scientist meant you were always in the lab, you hadn’t talked to anyone but Mikey or sometimes his older brother Gerard in years. You dont even remeber the last time you even left the lab, it was your house and Mikey did all of your errands. You supposed you could start with the basics, ‘hello’ or your name maybe even his. If you started with hello you’d have to explain what a greeting is, if you started with your or his name you might have to explain what a name even is and how to use it. You hadn’t noticed the man move from his spot, you were so busy staring off into space you didnt notice the prominent frown on your face as you stared at the wall. When you finally snapped out of it you panicked as you watched the man touch stuff on your lab table, almost spilling a tube of something before catching it and looking at you with guilt ridden face.

You quickly made your way to him, taking the tube out of his hand and putting it in its correct place. “Um, okay don’t- don’t touch anything on this table..got it?” You spoke, gently steering the man by his hand to sit at your desk chair. You pushed him into said chair maybe a bit rougher than you meant to, however he didnt seem to mind. “Okay.. your name is- can you talk?” You asked, you couldve maybe put in a little more effort but this was your first time doing anything like this. You only got a head tilt in response, it was like he could understand you but he couldn’t answer. You furrowed your eyebrows, Your reaction caused him to frown a little. “‘My name is Frank’ Can you say that?” You questioned, he could only get out ‘Frank’. It wasnt much but you could work with it after all you weren’t sure of what he was capable of, Sure he had human parts but he wasnt fully functional right now.

“Frank, frank is you.” You stated, pointing a finger towards him. “You?” He questioned, his index finger now pointing towards himself. You smiled before shaking your head, This caused Frank to smile as well however he looked sort of confused. You tried again pointing your finger towards him, “when i stick my finger out towards you it means ‘you’, when you stick your finger towards yourself it means ‘me’.” You stated, a look of realization crossed his face before he pointed to himself again. “Frank is me?” He asked, letting out a noise of what seemed to be happiness after you confirmed it. He was going to be trouble but you knew it was worth it, after all, you wanted this.

[itzsarahhh]

I love me some MeenPing and so far I’m really liking The Rebound Series. Something about childhood friends who were secretly in love with each other, growing apart due to outside circumstances, and meeting again years later, really gets me. Only two episodes and I already have a lot of thoughts, but I am not sure how to eloquently put them into words.

I am very curious where the story is going to take us. Zen and Ryu clearly still care for each other (dare I say probably still love each other) so I wonder how long it will take for them to confess their feelings. One thing I liked about the other MeenPing shows was that they became a couple in the earlier episodes (at least early for a lot of other series), and then we see them navigate their relationship throughout the rest of the show. I hope this show follows that pattern and they face whatever issues come up together. But it seems like Ryu cut off all contact with Zen because he didn’t want Zen to get involved with the mafia(?) Boss dude, and I don’t think that has changed, so he might still be hesitant to start any type of relationship with him again. And Zen clearly wants Ryu to live a better life than what he is currently living, but he also is still upset that Ryu left without warning.

Ugh the way Zen asked Ryu if they were going to see each other again after running into each other in episode 1. And also when he told him that he missed playing basketball with him in episode 2. I could feel the yearning through my screen. I wonder what happened in middle school and if one of them confessed or if they both hid their feelings because they didn’t want to ruin their friendship.

I will suspend my belief that Meen and Ping are in high school, but I think they could have easily set this in university instead. I don’t think it would have changed the story much, at least not from what I have seen so far, but maybe it would have changed something in the later half of the story? That is yet to be seen, and I dont know if this was based on a novel. I just think it’s funny because Meen is older than me and I just finished getting my Master’s degree, and Ping is the same age as my cousin who is going to be a Junior in college. But I will put my knowledge of their actual ages aside and let these actors act however old the story tells them to be.

I also wonder where Frank’s character will fit into the RyuZen relationship. Based on the trailer, it looks like he will cause some jealousy, but I hope he is not too big of an obstacle. I quite like his character so far, though we haven’t seen much of him, he seems like a sad boy who just wants to make friends. What is his backstory and what are his family problems? I need to know why he was just chilling in the bottom of a pool, nearly giving Zen a heart attack. What a way to disassociate from life. I see that he is understands water can be a liminal space to get away from your problems.

Also love that we see the Cafe For All again, and this time the main character works there! This is kinda giving Golf’s Cinematic Universe, and it would be iconic if we saw Akk and Ayan or YakWandee chilling in the background. Sadly I do not think that is going to happen, but I can dream. Anyways I am excited for next week, and thank you showrunners for giving us two episodes a week.

[dufrau]

5, 6, and 9 for your tlou ronance retelling? the first fic or the whole series <3

Ahhh thank you!

5: What part was hardest to write?

Weirdly, the hardest part of the whole series to write was the sex scene in the main fic. It was a crucial scene in the TLOU episode the fic was based on, but usually when I write sex scenes they're like, The Climax of the story (pun acknowledged). But here I couldn't write it too smutty because it would take over the story and take up too much space and just change the whole vibe. But I didn't want to make it too chaste because this was a story about older women and I wanted to honor the idea that older women can still fuck. I stared at that scene for like two weeks trying to find the balance of it and then once I figured it out the rest of the story came very easily (i guess this could also be a pun).

The second hardest thing to write was just working out the structure of the Robin POV fic, with all the flashbacks. Trying to make it flow in a way that made sense, the transitions between the Now and Before scenes etc.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Well it's a complete AU, which is not something I usually write. It's not even really a TLOU AU exactly, obviously it's heavily inspired but a lot of the important details are pretty different, so there was a lot of, like, invisible background worldbuilding involved in it, and obviously the characters themselves have led different lives than in canon, which took away a lot of the crutches im normally working with. Honestly these stories are probably the closest thing to original fiction ive ever written. Maybe that's why I love them so much, they feel more mine than a lot of things even though they are beholden to multiple IPs lol.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

No, but kind of? lol. After I had written them i stumbled across the first thing I posted about the possibility of writing it, right after having watched the Bill & Frank episode, and it was something like "brb opening word doc to write ronance bill & frank AU except they dont (redacted) at the end". but um. obviously they redacted lol. they had to redacted, obviously.

but there were scenes i imagined that i never actually wrote, or that got deleted. steve was in the robin POV but there wasn't room for it so he's just Unnamed Friend in like one sentence. i still kind of want to write the little el/max (maybe with lucas as a jesse who doesnt... redacted) epilogue. i have an idea for a short nancy POV from somewhere in the latter half of the story. i dont know. maybe someday.

thank you for asking! this was fun! 💜

(questions)

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 1 - Resurrect Bracket (Losers Bracket) Side B

ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to [make it to the finals]

Propaganda below ⬇️

Matt

Matt's faith in the show is really important and well explored; one of the first scenes of the show is Matt going to confession (or, well, talking to his priest since he's not really confessing at that point). Matt struggles a lot with what he's supposed to do; everyone's telling him to kill the villain and he kinda wants to, but he literally says: "I know my soul is damned if I take his life". He struggles with his faith and goes with his doubts to his priest, and it's beautiful—also when he finally gets a costume for his vigilanteing he chooses to dress as the devil, lol. (His priest tells him that nothing makes people run to Church faster than the feeling of having the devil on their heels.)

a lot of the show is about how he justifies his vigilante actions with his faith, and whether he's doing the right thing in trying to help people or just using it as an outlet for his anger. the literal first scene of the show has him in a confession booth talking to his priest (who is a really interesting character too). this is not the scene I was talking about but it's such an excellent scene with matt talking to his priest: https://youtu.be/XHZ3NbEIDdw

canonically catholic but dresses like a demon to be quirky

honestly i dont wanna type too much but i feel that matt is a great example of someone who battles with his faith because he rarely loses his faith but rather fights with why he was made the way he was and put through what he was. He believes himself to have the devil inside him but believes that God put him there

ok in the comics barring the most current run matt has Mostly been a non-practicing Catholic that very rarely actually does any catholic Activities but ends up falling back into the Mindset and very occasionally dramatically taking confession (ex. in that one issue where he takes confession, basically tells the father that he is uniquely terrible and is thinking about violently murdering someone and when the father says "you can be forgiven" hes like "AUGFH-- NO!!!!!!!!!!" and runs out) when he's gone through some shit. and i love that its so relatable

This guy so catholic he spends an ungodly amount of time just chilling in the church. And goes there whenever there is a moral conundrum about killing people being Bad even though it would solve a lot of problems and stop said people from killing other people. This happens every other episode. Matt is the Catholic Guilt Guy. There's actually a lot of catholic stuff in the show as a whole. Just a compilation would be like three whole episodes long.

Hes great hes catholic enough to not outrught murder people but not catholic enough to not fuck before marriage hes a bisexual disaster at all times hes besties with a priest might i add hes great hes my special little guy

his catholicism is a huge piece of his characterisation he was raised by nuns in a catholic orphanage, the first scene we ever see him (as an adult and not a flashback) is him going to confession, he is good friend with his priest and has regular debates with him, etc also in s3 he has a huge crisis of faith after he lost A Lot where he stops believing for a while and it's linked to his identity crisis where he actually wants to kill another person (a hard line he previously chose never to cross) and wants to be only daredevil and not matt murdock, when he is both and needs both to exist also when he was a kid his grandmother used to say "watch out for the murdock boys, they've got the devil in them" and it created a surprising lot of his issues

So he's both catholic in the comics and the show but he's More Catholic in the show. Like, raised in a catholic orphanage by nuns (ONE OF WHICH IS HIS *MOTHER*), second scene in the show has him in a confession box kind. Matt Murdock goes out and gets the shit beaten out of him nightly and also beats the shit out of other people and purposefully leaned into devil iconography as his theme. When his nurse friend says, he takes a lot of punishment without one complaint he says "That part's the Catholicism." It is a Core Aspect of his character (at least in the show). He makes me insane. Also the same chemicals that blinded him created the teenage mutant ninja turtles and everyone should know that.

They went to confession to a priest who they had saved as their costumed counterpart and the guy recognized them by the voice, proving that it's possible and everyone else is just dumb

he takes "i wanna fight god" to new and incredibly violent levels, while also being a sweetheart and a goofball

Actually strictly WILL NOT kill criminals. Goes wayyy out of his way to avoid it. Fights with the Punisher about it. Goes to confession booth after nightly vigilante excursions. Feels so much guilt. "How have you been holding up?" "Like a good Caltholic boy" "that bad huh" - actual conversation with his priest

So Daredevil struggles with his mission as a crime fighter because killing criminals goes against his faith. He makes it a point to not kill criminals, believing that even bad people deserve a second chance. This philosophy puts him at odds against The Punisher, who is a relentless killer. As a Catholic myself, while I love the concept of a morally conflicted superhero, I think the worldbuilding around Daredevil is lacking. If he struggles with violence and killing, why doesn't he pray to warrior saints like Saint Michael, Saint Ignatius of Loyola (a former knight), or Saint Joan of Arc? Why isn't there a community of other Catholics he can turn to for guidance, considering New York City has a sizeable population of Catholics? And why are the churches he goes to always empty? Doesn't he know that the Catholic Church supports the just war theory? I think that would have made his burden more bearable.

He goes to church and confesses to punching people and says "imma do it again can i apologize in advance" and the father dude says "no you're meant to stop now" and Matt says "no" and they do this everyday. I'm not remembering it properly but this is a canon interaction i swear

HELLO HI YES I LOVE HIM AND WILL INFOR DUMP ok so. he is a vigalantty and he got named daredevil and he is an orphan and after the age of 12 was raised in an orphanage at a Catholic church and his therapist is his priest via confession abd. also his mother is a nun he has a whole mental breakdown over god and called Job a pussy because he liked god until he got better and liked god again he said "I'm dearedrvil and not even god can stop that now" and he's so cool

matt is a freakish little babygirl who was raised by nuns and definitely has religious trauma. i hate him so much (affectionately)

he’s literally fucking insane about it i don’t know what to say here. he thinks he’s chosen by god to go on some sort of holy quest to save hell’s kitchen. joan of arc ass.

i already know hes in by default j just wanted to give him a personal shout out i love this angsty catholic dweeb

how practicing he is depends on the run, but in my favorite he is quite literally confessing to a member of the last extant order millitant who happens to be a priest at a church in hells kitchen.

i love him for having the funniest version of a trope i usually hate (person gets into confession booth and asks forgiveness not for what they've done, but for what they're about to do). usually this trope just looks silly to me bc like. the priest would just say "i can't do that" and you would have to either awkwardly explain yourself or just Leave. it's funny when matt does it because fr. lantom is probably like "what are you gonna do???" and matt's like "lol. lmao. 😊 hehehe." anyway we love this angry catholic man who dresses up like the devil to beat people up in hell's kitchen

I'm sure Harrow is lovely and I respect the space lesbians but listen to me. Listen.

Matt Murdock is the Catholic character of all time, and if you make him lose, I am blowing up this website and everyone in it.

He is Catholic. His mother is a nun. He grew up in a catholic orphanage. Half the episodes in the show include him going to confession. When he needs therapy, he talks to his priest. He dresses up as a devil partly because of the Catholicism.

One time he got godly powers on loan from Heimdall (see below), and he did a lot of good with it, and then the second it was over he just... well. Also see below!

This man's every coping mechanism is Catholicism.

Please vote for Matt in the @catholic-character-tournament because he's the best and most realistic representation of what it means to be Catholic. Someone who's been punched and bet and crushed by life but still gets up every day to try. No, he's not a nun like his competition but he's not less devoted because of that. Not everyone is called to service. In the day he works at a defense lawyer to help people. Not for the money but to help people not get screwed over by the law. And at night, he dons a mask and beats up assholes when the law fails them. Is he perfect? No, that's the point. Matt is a broken man who is just trying his best to do well and live like Jesus.

He fully embodies the Catholic doctrine of faith and good works. He has faith in what he's doing even if others challenge him. He believes in forgiveness and repenting even when going up against "the devil."

pa1.aminoapps.com

"The people you murder deserve another chance." ... "No, Frank. To try again, Frank. To try. And if you don't get that, there's something broken in you you can't fix, and you really are a nutjob." "You think God made you a one-man firing squad. But you're wrong. There is goodness in people, even in you. And you're gonna have to kill me, 'cause I'm never gonna stop coming for you, until I take you down."

Daredevil Season 2 Episode 3

He (tries) to love his enemy. He believes in Elektra and Frank and maybe Dex and their ability to change. To be good. And when he can't, Matt refuses to compromise on his morals. While not quite "turning his cheek" he never scoops to their level. Because they don't get to destroy who he is.

qph.cf2.quoracdn.net

Daredevil Season 3 Episode 13

All he does is for the love he has to his neighbors, his community. He loves New York. Not for self-fulfilling needs or for the money or for the fame. He does it because he believes in justice. Because the law was created by humans and is inherently sinful.

"But his competition met God and was disappointed and blah blah"

Daredevil is more grounded (at least the show, maybe less the comics). So now, Matt doesn't met God. But he sure gets mad at him. All of season 3 he angry at God for all the trauma he expired.

"You see, that was me, Sister. I suffered willingly. I gave my, uh... sweat and blood and skin without complaint. Because I too believed I was God's soldier. ( chuckles ) Well, not anymore. I am what I do in the dark now. I bleed only for myself. ( scoffs )" ... "You might hate God right now, but the feeling is not mutual." "No, I don't hate him. I've just seen his true face, is all."

Season 3 episode 1

As a Catholic I don't really want to fight God in a parking lot. Well I do but not in the same way that I've understood (primarily Jewish people but probably other Abrahamic religions) want to fight God in a Denny's parking lot. I want to yell and scream and cry at God and for the feeling to not be mutual. For Him to never stop loving me. As long as I have faith, He will reach out his hand.

Anyways vote Matt.

Frank

He was in training to become a priest and! Fun fact! Is second generation immigrant!

[mikeyswayy]

hey, uh. hi. yeah. sorry i dont know why im doing this. im pretty sure youre dead. god i hope you arent. maybe this is just the digital form of visiting someones grave eh? yeah, i dunno. its lonely without you. keep wanting to tag you in things, god i fucking wish i could still tag you in things. i was a little scared to send this one, even just to write it, but id rather you be alive and proving me a fool for writing this than dead. maybe with my luck the universe’ll wanna make me look stupid so bad that ur actually fine. i miss you. ive been waiting the past few days you know that? waiting to be wrong waiting for you to come back waiting for this to be like the other times, but its been four days now. i just. i hope you found peace man, i hope if you are dead its better than anything ever was back here, you deserve it.

while im here i figure i may as well catch you up on everything goin on, not anywhere near as good as getting to freak out about it on here with you but i think its the best im gonna get. so basically a couple days ago frank posted five random dates in the shape of the mcr logo and that was. jesus frank. the dates are 11/13, 2/16, 3/7, 2/24, and 12/6. i now live in fear. and then today the official mcr account posted a picture with a background that looks reminiscent of paper kingdom, oh god, 150 peices of,, ash? confetti?? falling down over large red letters that spell out a backwards k and then cr. so basically. going insane over if this is mcr5 or not. fuck youll never get to see mcr5 will you? fucking scary, feels wrong to get excited about it without you. i hope youre okay, i really fucking hope youre okay and all this is for nothing i hope youre in the hospital because soneone found you before it was too late and you just cant have your phone because of it, i hope you didnt even do anything and youre just staying off tumblr just anything, please, fuck man you have to be okay alright?? im scared, i really miss you, i know we werent that close or even close at all but you mean do much to me alright i need you i need you to be fine. i hope you see this. oh, on the topic of not being close, i uh. never learned your real name. i made a small patch with your username and put it in the left breast pocket of my coat, i hope thats alright. wanted you close to me and all

i think thats it, so uh. this is goodbye i suppose. i didnt get to say goodbye before. saw your post 2 hours late. it hurts, i try not to get too caught up in the what ifs though. its hard. so goodbye friend, until next time. i hope to see you again. i love you.

I'm not dead!

I'm sorry I scared you like really badly but I'm okay

What happened was I like almost didn't but I didn't go deep enough to do any real harm to myself

I cut a little but not the full way so I'm fine but if I had went all the way I would probably be gone bc no one did like come in my room for a while after

I've just been staying off of here and not really posting because I didn't really think anyone would really care if I was dead or not

But I know you do

Also I really appreciate you saying what's been happening with MCR thank u

I know abt everything but still u telling me is really sweet, thank you

The patch is really nice, thank you

I feel like doing something similar since u did that and I probably scared the living shit out of you so yeah something with ur user maybe idk is that weird idk

I love you too man

I'm really sorry for scaring you I just didn't know what to do that day and I'm sorry for not really posting anything after that 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[prettyboykatsuki]

and honestly, (as someone who has been in multiple qprs) i feel like they hurt sooo much more than any other 'breakup' - atleast for me, WHICH IS CRAZY LIKE. HLAF THE TIME I DKNT REALISE HOW BADLY IM ATTACHED THEN AFTERWARDS IM LIKE. oh. ooohhhhh. oh this SUCKS. got me clutching my chest.... hanging onto the walls..... i dont know if this is common for others who have been in qprs but i ALSO dont realise what that relationship has been until later. after. some deep thinking. it truly is more than friends less than lovers though even then i feel that statement does not come close to describing it. maybe because i have found queer people (atleast in my experience) to be more... TO PUT THEIR EVERYTHING INTO IT. mpre vulnerable in a sense...? you just know there is love. i dont. Know. but the detachment afterwards truly feels like slmething has been ripped out of you. like. that was my other half We have Merged what do you mean they are gone. dunno if this makes any sense but whatevs.... peace and love. wish you luck king cause i dont know if youll ever get over it considering i havent either and i was also 16 in my last. TRULY PEACE AND LOVE.

this ask feels . so hilariously accurate to my situation it makes me want to cry kjfdsdfjh

we are the same literally. more than friends but in a significant way and less than lovers in a lowkey not noticeable way is how it feels for me but its generally speaking of equal value in my life. i understand this so much especially the part of like. its just Love. i dont know how else to word it but its like literally a soul tie. you are stitched into me sort of thing.

i had a prior qpr from like 14-18 and that split felt so soul crushing but i managed. this one is not like that one because this one is much . stronger and like?? being frank we still do all of that with each other dlsjflskd. i tried to put distance between us for five years and then the thought of seeing them unearthed that shit sooo fast. we just have such . a complicated history i dont know if i should even bring it up but i want too fkdjsd

[deedala]

Do you think Debbie is still with Heidi? How did that end? Do you think Heidi bit off the rest of Debbie's toes in breakup revenge?

*cracks knuckles* i have opinions. In 11x12 Heidi tells Debbie that she's "splitting tomorrow" off to Texas to join her friends in some scam or whatever. She very casually tells Debbie that she's welcome to come and bring Franny too if she wants. I really dont think Heidi cares one way or the other. A thing I think that should be acknowledged here, is that even if we think Debbie was considering it that day, by later that night when the hospital got ahold of the Gallagher's and told them Frank had died of covid, Debbie wouldn't be going anywhere, and Heidi would definitely be outta there ASAP. (Not so much because she's uncomfortable or whatever, but because she has her own plans and she does not care enough to change them.) So even if we assume the Gallaghers don't really bother to isolate for covid exposure (which like i dunno, maybe they would be good about it but its besides the point), I think that Frank's death would bring all 5 of his kids (yes Ian is one of Frank's kids) together in a stronger way than what we were seeing in most of season 11. Okay bear with me, because I know they didn't like him, often hated him, (though Liam was young enough to still be pretty fond of him just like we saw with Debbie and Carl), but they would still feel his loss. They had feelings about it when Monica died, and she was the parent who was gone for huge chunks of their lives. Frank was actually around most of the time. And they all had their moments with Frank (except for Ian i suppose though i maintain they both still considered each other father & son) which would make their feelings about his death even more complicated than Monica's (I guess like how Ian had more complicated feelings about Monica's death because he had been closer to her as apposed to the others who were closer to Frank). So all of that is to say that I think there would have been some emotions and they probably held a memorial party for him at the Alibi much like they shared some memories and partied together after Monica's funeral. Frank had just told Debbie that the only way she was going to find someone to be with was to find someone who was a bigger loser than her. And I think we're supposed to assume that she's taken that to heart and that it contributes to her bringing Heidi home with her. But like I said, Heidi definitely woke up the next morning and skipped town. And I really dont think that she nor Debbie really cared about it. I think within the following days that Debbie would have ended up in a heart to heart talk with Lip. I dunno if yall remember, but Debbie and Lip are actually pretty close before season 11? Their butting heads over the house situation wasn't going to last forever. She would have told him what Frank said to her and he would have done the big brother/pseudo-father thing that he normally does and tell her about how it's bullshit, maybe he'd even have a little advice for her. I think whatever is said between them would have helped her understand that Frank really was just full of shit. And going forward she would not be looking for someone "more of a loser" than she is. 😑 Maybe she would even look for someone who really has their shit together? Debbie is a catch tbh, and I think she can very much achieve a good relationship with someone stable. She's young, she has lots of time to learn and develop better relationship habits. And yeah idk, I just think they'd all be making a slightly bigger effort to connect after Frank's death. Especially for Liams sake, you know? Uuhhhmmm okay I hope I answered all your questions in there somewhere. Oh... No, Debbie did not lose any more toes. 🙏

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

hiii uh. dunno if this will make any sense, im kinda just throwing my thoughts at you

OKAY. so. been thinking about kuron(again) and the thing im just realising how ALONE he is, at least at the beggining. the people he thought of as his family fucking KILLED him, stole his body, and then basically forgot about him for YEARS. and after being ressurected- like, in the first few days, weeks, months- did kuron had ANY support? anyone to lean on?? to help him adjust to being alive again?

i know he starts to meet new people and make friends, and thats great! but. at the beggining....... lance was in a coma 'n shit, team voltron propably wasnt too enthusistic about helping kuron, and it just hit me that, at least the way i understand it(i might be wrong), he had to figure EVERYTHING out by himself

thats FUCKED dude

Oh god yes!!! To be honest i dont really have like a detailed idea for this part of the story like at best i have this one idea where Veronica is the first one to find him. Like in my head Veronica has been trying to track down Lance cause he ran away/didnt give the address once he moved out, isnt picking up his goddamn phone and literally dropped from the face of the earth and she cant find a trace of him. That was until apparently Lance?? 'Attacked' Shiro?? Like Shiro's fine just fainted and on bedrest and according to Curtis, Lance was saying something about "he is still in there" before apparently using Magic?? Somehow?? And taking something? From Shiro?? Yeah Veronica has no fucking clue. But a lead is a lead and she was able to track down Lance's new home only to find 1) a guy butt fuck naked coming out of a quintessence filled tub like the girl from Shining and who looks a bit like her boss. 2) her brother unconscious. She instinctly about to pull a gun on him except Kuron just slips and hits the floor, so now Veronica has two men she needs to drag to a hospital. Joy.

So like yeah Kuron's first stranger-to-acquintance-to-friend is Veronica. She neither has the history of All That™ the others have with Kuron, knows a bit about the clone situation to not be weirded out by it, but also doesnt really care about the whole Evil Clone thing™, cause i am so sorry but she has seen this man fall on his face first 5 times and counting, cry over a fridge ad that had kittens in it, and try to name himself Frank Shelley, even if he somehow becomes Evil~ Veronica is sure she can just Take him down easily, and like what is she supposed to do? Just leave him? He clearly has even less of an idea what is going on and she cant in good conscience leave him like this.

And thing is that Veronica does want to support Kuron, because he deserves that! It's the right thing to do and he deserves that! But at the start he really is a stranger to her and Lance is more of a priority to her than he is, and he is like one of the only leads that explains what is going on with Lance. And while she wont admit this but Kuron can tell and like logically He Gets That™!! He Gets That™!!! And he wants to help Lance too!! But he's also someone who is used and thrown away by everyone around him and this shit hurts like hell. Like this is a recipe of disaester for both of them and will result in a shouting match but right now Kuron is too high on pain meds and pain of being alive again to truly get into it so.

So like physically he isnt really alone in figuring this out, Veronica is trying to help him as much as she can help him, and the hospital staff she dragged him to are really nice to him as well. Emotionally......well there is effort. Vero is trying! Heck she even defended him when Shiro suggested they should lock him up cause he was a danger to everyone and is evil. She is trying but she also has her own trauma, whatever is going on with Lance, her family having separation anxiety, her job, etc etc and she can only do so much, and like Kuron is also trying but he is also dealing with so much and pushing it into the back burner and my guy is just not having great time at all. So like yeah he did had to figure out so much himself