#framed it as 'psychological torture' as a joke and they obv played along

[infiniteorangethethird]

it goes something like this. you do something random, something unconventional, because it brings you joy - you let out a weird little noise bc it's satisfying, you wiggle in excitement, you make an oddly specific remark because you think it's a clever observation, you enjoy art/media that's considered just a bit too cringey or meme-y - and immediately your friends laugh, saying how "funny" and "random" you are, how they "can't imagine what it must be like inside your head", and wondering if you're perhaps drunk or under the influence of drugs. And after a while, you start to present your happiness as jokes, because it is much better to think that you've made your friends happy by making them laugh on purpose than to have them laugh at you, until you no longer understand why it hurts to hear others laugh at your own jokes