#fragrance point save me. save me fragrance point. (apparently that's coming out next year so that's exciting)

[xerxestexastoast]

Thinking about that Catly game announced at the game awards and wondering who it's even for. The commitment to AAA realism seems like it's a huge and unnecessary expense for something that's trying to appeal to the virtual pet niche, where we kickstart new projects for well under a million dollars and our pets are 200px square PNGs.

[wildegreenlight]

Ready to Believe

A/N: What better reason to come out of semi-retirement than the Birthday of our lovely ginger knight, our passionate sassy king, Ron Weasley!! This little plot bunny came to me earlier in the week and (apparently there are miracles in this world), I was able to finish it in time!! 

Thanks to the fantabulous @trademarkblue for helping me polish this little nugget! As I told you earlier, the only thing I value more than your fic expertise is your friendship! Thanks as always to @callieskye for cheering me on and always being willing to read my ramblings! Love you both!!

If there is real magic out there, this may actually motivate me to finish my other WIPs!! (Not sure if anyone is “ready to believe” that!)

March 1, 1995

Even as the sentence was forming in his mind, before he opened his mouth to give it breath, he told himself to stop, to change the subject, to stuff his face with cake and move on. But it was his birthday, and if you can’t have a little fun on your birthday, then what’s the point?

“For someone so smart you sure can be thick sometimes, you know that?” 

And just like that, they were in the middle of a row. To be perfectly honest, he wasn’t exactly sure how it had started. Ok, maybe he had an idea; it had been only a matter of time. Since their big blow up at Christmas, they had settled into an uncharacteristic period of peace. One that couldn’t hold forever.

“Thick? Because I don’t believe in some silly, childish…” she was waving her hands in that way that meant she was just warming up. 

“ ‘snot silly or childish- it happens to be very real magic.”

“It happens to be absurd.” 

Ron knew he should probably just let it go. There wasn’t any real chance that he would change her mind, or even if he did, she certainly would never admit it. 

“You are the only person I know, the only person I could ever think of, that could attend an actual SCHOOL OF MAGIC and not believe in magic.”

“Of course I believe in REAL magic: spells and potions and charms, but wishes, birthday or otherwise, are not real- they don’t work!”

“They are and they do.” 

As he leaned back on the opposite end of the sofa from her, hands behind his head, he wondered if there was any way that she could be enjoying this as much as he was. Maybe it was weird. It’s not like he enjoyed real fighting:not like the mess with the rat last year or how he was such an ass to Harry over the bleeding Goblet of Fuckedupedness. But this? This was like chess. Anticipating her moves, countering with his own. 

“Well if that’s the case,” the twinkle in her eye made it obvious that she thought she had the winning move, “ why doesn’t everyone just wish for a fortune on their birthday?”

Well played, but not quite good enough.

“Doesn’t work like that.”

“Because it doesn’t work at all.”

“Does too, but there’s rules.” Hermione was smart, probably the smartest person he knew when it came to books, but she didn’t now loads of things about the Magical world because, well some things just aren’t written down. He knew it irritated her, and he had learned to not call her out on it, especially in front of other people. That was another thing about Hermione, she seemed real cocky about her abilities, but she was always secretly worried that she was an outsider.

“Such as?”

“First off, it can’t be a “thing” - like no brooms or galleons or toys.  And no wishing for more wishes,” he ignored her exaggerated eye roll, ”or combining a bunch of stuff into one. You get one a year and only on your birthday.”

“And let me guess: you can’t tell anyone what your wish is or it won’t come true?”

“ ‘Course you can’t tell, that would ruin it.”

“Anything else? Or have you thoroughly enlightened me?”

“Just that you really have to want it,” he turned toward her then to add emphasis to his point, “like REALLY want it.”

“Obviously. And so there’s no way for you to really prove it to me because you, very conveniently,” she turned to face him challengingly,  “can’t tell me about what your wish is.”

So there it was. She needed proof, but the only proof he could give her would negate the very thing he was trying to prove. It was rare, but in rows, just like in chess, when you aren’t checked, and you have no more legal moves, you end up with a draw.  It wasn’t quite as satisfying as a straight-out win, but he suddenly knew how to make it even better. 

“No one can prove to you what you’re not ready to believe.”

@@@@@@@

March 1, 1997

“Can anyone tell me what this is?”

Slughorn made a flourish and the slightly petulant students crowded forward. Ron stared into the cauldron- its surface was shiny and swirly like one the giant lollies at Honeydukes. It looked so similar in fact, that he was surprised that its fragrance was anything but sugary.  To be honest, the scent was hard to describe , but more than familiar. There was a woodish smell like the worn lines of a broomstick after a fly, or the tickle of dusty shavings in his Dad’s shed. And that? That was a warm, wool smell-like a Christmas jumper-one that’s been worn- with a hint of almond shampoo and a bit of ink stain on the sleeve…

Bloody hell!! He knew that smell! It was the old jumper that he’d let Hermione use last year! She’d argued with him at first, but he knew she was just as cold as she was stubborn, so he made her take it. When she’d returned it the next day, he’d lied to himself about being too lazy to clean it - lied to himself about the sudden broom-drop feeling in his gut when he imagined it wrapped around her, covering her; it was almost like he was wrapped around her. He’d lied to himself about how much he loved keeping it in his trunk, relishing how its smell seeped into the rest of his clothes. He’d lied to himself about so many things. Why had it taken him so long to see the truth?

“Oh Ron, no one can prove to you what you aren’t ready to believe,” Hermione touched his shoulder gently, offering him a sad little smile before walking past him out of the classroom.

He turned to follow her, but the whole scene disappeared. There was nothing but darkness. He tried to call for her through the blue-black void, but for some reason he couldn't make a sound. Suddenly he felt like he was choking; he couldn’t catch his breath. Panic. Heart. Pounding. Panic. Flailing. Falling. Panic. He had to get to her, had to tell her, before it was too late

His back hit the ground, hard, dislodging what felt like a bludger from his throat. It was still dark and he had no idea where he might be, yet all he could think of was how to find her. 

Whispers. Faint. Far away. Harry? Slughorn? Had he fainted in the middle of the lesson? Had the cauldron been poisonous? 

Hermione had been close to it-was she safe? Where was she? Why had she walked away? 

Wait...it wasn’t like that. The swirly potion was...months ago. She had...he had...cocked it all up. If he found her, would she listen to him? Would she even look at him?  

Too late. Too late. Too late.

Whispers. Again. Louder. Closer. Harry? Was that...it couldn’t be... Hermione? He had to get to her somehow. It just couldn’t be too late, he wouldn’t let it be.

He tried again to call to her, and this time his desperate plea found a way, crawling through his throat on rusty spurs.

“Er-my-nee” 

@@@

The light was so dim, that for a few confused minutes he wasn’t entirely sure that he had woken up. As his eyes adjusted a bit, he was able to put together the fact that he was lying, more like sitting to be honest, in a hospital wing bed. His head hurt too much to try and piece together the series of events that had ended with him in such a position, but he was curious as to how hurt he actually was.  

Afraid to move too much, Ron risked turning his sore neck gingerly to the right ok, my head’s still attached and to the left what is that? Better yet, who is that? Someone was currently resting their head on the side of his bed. Someone’s curls were in such a state that they were practically spilling into his lap. He didn’t need an OWL in Divination to figure out who it was, but he just couldn’t believe what he saw. Maybe I’m still out.

Truth be told, ever since Christmas he’d been having increasingly vivid dreams about Hermione. It was not unusual for him to wake up in his four-poster sweaty, confused, and disappointed. He reached his hand out and gently brushed his fingers through her disheveled mane. She sure felt real. He inhaled deeply: almonds, wool, ink. He was so relieved he could’ve cried! 

Quite suddenly she jerked her head up from the mattress and he took his hand away like a toddler caught with his hand in the biscuits. He was sure he must look a fright, but, despite the fact that her eyes were as wild as her curls and her face was blotchy with tears, she was the most beautiful sight he could imagine. 

“Hey,” he cringed at his voice, apparently I’ve been gargling with nails. 

“You’re...you’re awake.” A brilliant smile danced across her face, but quickly disappeared, leaving her expression apprehensive.  

“Think so.”

“Oh..sorry. Did I wake you? I shouldn’t...I should go...sorry,” she scrambled to her feet. 

Sorry?! No! He couldn’t, wouldn’t let her go, not now!

“Wait!” He reached out and grabbed her wrist. “Please, don’t go...I...I want you to stay.”

“You do?”

“ ‘Course I do.” 

How could she doubt that? Oh, yeah...why shouldn’t she doubt it...doubt me? 

“Alright, I’ll stay...for a bit. I just don’t want to keep you from resting. Are you sure you’re ok? Do you need anything?” 

Just you...probably too soon to say that, right? 

“Some water would be great.” 

She immediately began to fill a glass from the pitcher on his bedside table.  

“And.” he added, noticing the flush that began to show in her cheeks as she turned back to him, “maybe you could tell me…”

“Tell you what?”

If you’re as nervous as I am.

“What happened?” As he took the glass of water from her, their fingers brushed together. He held his breath, urging the moment to linger. 

“You were...poisoned; Harry saved you,” her voice broke and she pulled her hand away to wipe at her eyes. “Do you remember anything?” 

“Not much...I think it’s my birthday...or was...not sure how long I was out.”

“I think it still is, technically.” 

“Ok...well, that’s good”

“Sorry.”

“For?”

“I didn’t get you anything,” she sat down again, looking very tired and very sad.

“Didn’t really expect you to,” he swallowed the last of the water and tried to steady his resolve, “I know I’ve been a real prat...and I want you to know that I...well..I shouldn’t have been.”

“No...it was me...I’ve been horrid to you and I...well I...and then you almost,” she was crying in earnest now and it didn’t make him feel vindicated like he had imagined it might, it just made him want to comfort her.

“We were both not so great...but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix it, yeah?” 

She smiled a tentative little smile that made his heart clinch in a way that was probably not entirely good for his current medical  condition.  

“Yeah...that sounds good.”

He knew that he owed her more, owed himself more, but it wasn’t time yet. Maybe he was a coward; he didn’t want to push his luck, not when he had her here, actually looking at him and talking to him and seemingly glad to do so. For now he would have to be satisfied with old patterns: smooth it over with a little humor.

“Brilliant! Now if you tell me you have some  biscuits on ya, it will be a perfect birthday after all!” 

She laughed and shook her head God I’ve missed that sound! 

“If only I had a cake,  you would still have,” she glanced at the clock, “three minutes to make your birthday wish.”

“Cake would be nice, but I already made my wish this morning.”

“Really?”

“Yup.” Before I even opened my gifts...been planning it for weeks. 

“I know it’s crazy of me to ask, but what did you wish for?” As she leaned closer, he was intoxicated by her: the way the dim light twinkled in her eyes, the way her hair looked like a frizzy halo. 

“Hermione! You know that is entirely against the rules!” 

“Of course, how silly of me!”  And that eye roll...how have I lived without that?  “Can I at least ask if it came true?”

“Yes.” Definitely got my wish.  

“Yes, I can ask, or yes, it came true?”  

She had to know, didn’t she? It always seemed to him that he had been beyond obvious, but the last few months had made him think otherwise. There was only one thing he had wanted, and he had gotten it.  Not quite how he had pictured it this morning, but wishes could be funny like that. 

“It so came true,” he tried to communicate every bit of what he could not say in the look they shared. “I know I may not be able to prove it to you...yet, but I will.”

“If I’m ready to believe?” 

“It’s alright...I can believe enough for both of us until then.” 

[dammit-stark]

Ooo ooo, an au i loooove is flower shop au! Where one character runs a flower shop and flowers with symbolic meanings are used- ugh the fluff/flirting potential 🥰🥰

fun fact: i’ve somehow managed to never write a flower shop au before this??? which is absurd bc it’s a friken classic so this was super fun I really enjoyed this hehe

SEND ME YOUR FAV AU AND ILL WRITE YOU A DRABBLE :)

...

He knows that it’s Pepper’s birthday. He knows because she told him a week ago, pointedly inserted it into all of his various calendars, threatened him with violence and selfish resignation as his assistance. He knows it’s her birthday.

Still, the morning of when JARVIS alerts him that he forgot to get Pepper a present, it catches Tony by surprise.

“Fuck,” He says, rubbing his face as he sits up in bed, “JARVIS, what am I supposed to get her?”

“I’m afraid you did not program me to be able to advise on gift giving, sir,” JARVIS replies, and Tony, his infernal creator, knows it’s said with joyful malice, “But if I may suggest something. Miss Potts has expressed an appreciation for fresh flowers in the past. Sir.”

Tony sighs, pulling on the nearest pair of pants, “You’re a life saver, JARVIS. Send Pep a happy birthday message, will you?”

“Very well, sir.”

“I’m gonna get some flowers. Don’t tell her I forgot.”

“Yes, sir.”

Tony grabs his keys and opens the front door, stopping with one foot over the invisible jamb, “And stop mouthing me, JARVIS. You might sound polite, but I programmed you, I know when you’re sassing me.”

JARVIS is tellingly silent. Tony closes the door behind himself.

So, flowers. Flowers. How hard can flowers be? He passes four flower stands on his way to the burger joint he likes a block from the tower, and he’s positive there’s a quaint little shop the next block over. Surely, he can figure this out.

Except when Tony gets to the shop, a pink and blue awning hanging over him like an insufferably ironic storm cloud, he’s at a complete loss.

Would she like pink or blue? Roses or carnations? Tulips? Lilies? Daisies? Something yellow? Maybe something orange like her hair? Would she be offended by that? Probably. Isn’t there a green thing she likes? Surely, she’s mentioned it before. It’s gotta be somewhere in the recesses of Tony’s unfocused brain, somewhere.

He’s standing at a loss in front of a vibrant display that looks distinctly like the photoshop color picker exploded.

“Excuse me, sir. Can I help you with something, sir?”

“Don’t call me sir.”

“Sorry?”

“I get enough of that from my robots, I don’t need it from- attractive flower salesman. Hi. Tony Stark. Nice to meet you.”

Aforementioned flower salesman blinks, and Tony notes with satisfaction the dee blush high on his cheeks.

“Uh, can I help you find something?”

In a moment, Tony’s moving again, hands fluttering, mind whirring, mouth working without the rest of his body’s knowledge, about as per usual. He picks up a colorful bouquet of various wild flowers, smells it, and puts back with a scrunched nose, “I need a birthday present for my assistant. Something that says ‘Thank you for being in my life. No I didn’t forget your birthday, see. Love you’.”

The salesman looks at his shoes when he talks, nodding, “Well we have a variety of flowers that can express love or lust. A mauve carnation, for example. Or coriander is a lovely way to express the same sentiment. Red roses obviously mean love, and calla lilies symbolize beauty. We can assemble you a beautiful bouquet with these if you would like.”

Tony scrunches his nose like he smelled another disagreeing flower fragrance, “I don’t think you understand. I was thinking of something a little more.. platonic. More gratitude and friendship than sex and love.”

Steve’s head shoots up from the spot on the floor that he had been all but staring a hole through, and his eyes are wide, “Really?”

“Oh, yeah. We don’t really bat for the same teams, if you know what I’m saying.”

The blush returns to Steve’s face, but there’s an excited, hopeful glint in his eyes. And when he speaks, the words come out faster, rushers “Daffodils and peach roses then,” He says with confidence, “Appreciation. Yellow roses, too, maybe. For friendship.

Oh! And we can’t forget about alstroemeria! Better known as Lily of the Incas, they’re beautiful flowers that are most popular in bouquets for platonic love and friendship. What do you think?”

Tony smiles, and Steve’s breath audibly hitches, it’d almost be funny if Tony wasn’t so wooed by all the flower talk, “That sounds great. I’ll take all of it in one big, gorgeous bouquet.”

Steve moves behind the counter, “It’s gonna be pricy.”

Tony’s responding grin is knowing and cool, and his eyes squint minutely at the corners with this joyfulness, “Don’t worry. I can cover it. How fast can you get it done? Can we make this happen today? I know it’s last minute, but this’ll really save my butt.”

Steve reads down the long list of invoice orders ahead of him. He looks up to tell Tony that it’s impossible and- “Give me two hours.”

Apparently his heart (and eyes, and dick) put Tony at the top of the list. Tony has no idea, just smiles cheerfully, and nods, pulling out a shiny black credit card from his back pocket. Steve had always thought the black card thing had been a myth, an urban legend made up by money-grubbing banks and capitalists, but when he slides the card through the machine, it doesn’t bounce.

“Alright,” Steve says as he hands the card back, “I’ll see you in two hours.”

When Tony opens the front door to leave, he wiggles his fingers in a funny goodbye and disappears back into the New York streets. He’s starting to be glad he forgot Pepper’s birthday in the first place, even if she potentially hates him forever for dropping the ball.

Two hours later, Tony returns, and the bell on the green painted door to the quaint shop rings as he enters. Steve is nowhere to be found. A grumpy-looking, long-haired curmudgeon mans the counter instead.

“Hi, I’m here to pick up an order for Stark,” Tony says with a charming smile, one hand coming down to slap the blue painted countertop.

The florist, his name tag reading BUCKY :) in big, ironic letters turns around still frowning, and roots around for Tony’s bouquet. When he turns around, he’s holding two bouquets. He sets them both on the counter. Tony stares at them.

“I’m sorry,” He says, pointing at the redder one of the two, “I only ordered one.”

Bucky points with malice at the unfamiliar bouquet, “Yeah, I know. Apparently this one’s on the house. It’s from Stevie.”

“Stevie, huh?” Tony quips, the corners of his lips turning into a smile.

“Steve, yeah.”

“Tell Steve to call me then. So I can thank him.”

Bucky shakes his head, looking boring and maybe even irritated. He points at the on-the-house arrangement, “His number’s on the card.”

Tony smiles and scoops both bouquets up into his arms.

“You guys really have great service,” Tony jeers, and Bucky continues looking unamused and uninterested, “Thanks, Bucky!”

When Tony gives Pepper her gift, she’s duly impressed by the thoughtful layers to it. Tony proudly tells her what all the flowers mean.

She watches him dubiously from over top the crest of flowers, “So who told you what to get me? Who do I really have to thank?”

Tony shakes his head and refuses to think about JARVIS or Steve (just in case Pepper secretly has mind reading abilities, you can never be too safe), “I did it all by myself, Pep. Come on, give me some credit.”

She still looks suspicious, her nose in a lily, but eventually she nods, “Yeah, sure. You pass. Even if you didn’t think it up yourself, there was obviously some forethought since you can’t just go out and get a custom bouquet the same day. Good job, Tony. You’ve set the bar for next year.”

Tony groans.

It’s quarter to eleven, and Tony’s been staring his own bouquet, carefully placed in a genuine crystal vase on his kitchen counter, for almost an hour now. He finally gets up the nerve to google the symbolism surrounding the flowers and-

They’re all variations on lust or pining. A couple that have alternate meanings of love that Tony tries not to dwell on. He carefully punches the number into his phone and presses dial.

“H-hello?”

“Did I wake you up?”

“Who is this?”

“Tony Stark from the flower shop this morning.”

It sounds like something is dropped, something fumbled, and Steve’s a little breathless when he finally speaks, “Did you, uh, get my flowers?”

Tony’s smiling even though he knows Steve can’t see him, and it’s all kinda ridiculous, but he sees that beautiful bouquet in his kitchen and sees red roses behind his eyes, mauve carnations dancing in his vision, “Yeah,” He says, smiling like an absolute idiot, “I should give you some daffodils in exchange, I appreciated them so much.”

Steve snorts, and Tony imagines him smiling too.

“What? Is that not how it works?”

“I’m glad you appreciated them, Tony Stark. I meant it.”

Tony feels a feeling in his stomach, something like purple lilacs rising through him.

“Wanna go for dinner sometime?”

He imagines Steve’s smile looking like a field of daisies.

“I’d love to.”

[exploringvideogames]

090 Mush 9/2021- Writing Quotient

Synthea stalks through the night she is furious at God and at herself. There is nothing to be done which makes it worse, and her inept rage radiates out into the cold dry desert night. She finally arrives at the grotto, washing up calms her. Enveloped by this beautiful place,. The water is now pink, pretty. It's steamy in here, breathes deeply. She takes out her broken ax and puts it aside. Deal with it later.

Corpus walks up and nuzzles her, she didn't notice him coming in. “Love” he tells her, and she hugs him and pets him with tears streaming. She'll return to the group of magical stragglers tomorrow, when she is rested. Sleep and dream in this beautiful grotto.

---

Next day. Worm Moon is coming up. So much to be thankful for she reminds herself as she makes her way back to the Main Tent. She'll have a good hunt before then, she knows this. The light is cold and bright, the seasons changing feels more important than usual. Mel and Lina come out to meet her, supportive even though she's less than empty handed.Inside the tent Scorpia, smoking, is disappointed, and mock angry in a sincere and comforting way.

They are intereactively immeshed with Corpus's pride. Scorpia brings her poppy buzz and everyone is appreciative. Scorpia jealously sees Synthea’s mind wander to the Lateral Group. Slow breathing, thinking of nothing. Sometimes it never comes and she spends the session on edge and in fantasy. She sends love to Scorpia, who knows its qualifications.

---

These fucking cunts call me in Saturday morning to just ask me to work more for the same amount of money do they know we can see their bullshit? It doesn’t matter and I can not fathom why this meeting was worth their time. THEIR time too.. I don’t even think that they do know, middle class life retards you out of all instinct to the point that you become dumber than the smart and dumber than the dumb. The coddling is not worth it it makes you weak and apparently a neurotic unhappy loser every time you ugly guilt ridden cunts.

---

Things become distinct again and the crowd all tumbles down to the floor satisfied. Ahhh. Scorpia and Synthea hold hands, stare into one another’s eyes, kiss. A small daze and soon Synthea feeling energized and ready to get out there again.

Happens. Massive success, surely with help from the Mind Meld. Love found there, and beautiful fury from the Cats. Synthea is sticky with blood, high from the kill and the Exar, yes. Heart pumping. A large Diurge lays at her feet, pride and ecstasy. She begins to break it down, mapping out the logistics of the trip back.

---

Remnants of a camp outside the Drone, territory has yet to set in stone since the earthquake. She thinks of the all male Lateral Group as she makes her first trip back to the camp, now curing salt mixed with the blood. She thinks she remembers the sad blonde. But it doesn’t matter, all memories before the Rift are at least part fantasy.

Scorpia sitting inside again, those beautiful legs crossed under her as she fusses with the pipe. “Ah! Synthea!” She stumbles over to hug her, getting blood and salt on herself. Synthea smiles so wide, explanatory. “I knew you could do it babe!” Synthea smacks her on the ass and pulls her in for a kiss.

---

A feast that night, and preparation for the Worm Moon, usually more fun than the night itself. Crafting and curing and Exar a plety. Laughing and gossip. Up allll night.

Mel’s potions come together, making the entire surrounding area smell amazing. Cocoa, cardamom, saffron, rose tincture saved from the spring grow, and some sort of decaying wood. Last years, which smells like beautiful delicious dirt, is brought and put on by all of the girls and mixed a little into the current one.

Lina’s psychedelic potion of Exar, poppy resin and blue mushrooms are mixed in with some of Mel’s fragrance, it is beautifully bottled to be served at Worm Moon.

---

There are ceremonies and rituals that come close to Worm Moon, but something astrological makes it uniquely insane. Synthea fantasizes that the Lateral Group Blonde will be watching from the bushes lecherously, aroused by them, aroused by her.

They’ve all already been sickened by the Potion and are now ramping up to be out of their minds. Perfumed and teeth brushed, It begins. Writhe, they writhe all about, snaking in and among themselves, groping and screaming, screaming with joy into the bright night. They beat the ground and stare, eyes enormous at each others beautiful extant bodies. To be here!

[efrmellifer]

Telling the Bees

“Telling the bees is a traditional European custom in which bees would be told of important events in their keeper's lives, such as births, marriages, or departures and returns in the household.”

This was the idea I had. Several of them. I remembered!

I.

Her time on the First had affected Etien’s process of waking up. She was more aware now of the ambient environment before she even opened her eyes.

Smells—well, there were other reasons she was more sensitive to smells now, but still—hit her while she stayed silent, stationary, eyes closed. No sharp nose-stinging Sin Eater smell, nothing floating on an eternal Crystarium wind, just the familiar scent of wood smoke and a comforting, light birch-and-parchment fragrance.

Combined with the warmth that surrounded her, Etien knew that when she opened her eyes, it would be to see her home.

And indeed it was. As her eyelids lifted, it was to Aymeric brushing back a lock of her hair from her eyes.

“Well, good morning, ser,” she said with a giggle. “You’re up a little early.”

“I am. I was thinking.”

“Oh? What about?” She moved to sit up.

Aymeric gestured for her to stay lying down. “Please, stay in bed. You weren’t going anywhere, were you?”

“Well, the construction of the Abacus—”

“...will continue without your contributions, my dearest.” He leaned across the space between them to kiss her forehead. “You’ve saved Ishgard already, you can let other people fix her up.” He gave her a sweet smile. “After all, you have your own hard work to do building new living beings.”

Etien looked down at her stomach, even though there was still nothing there to see. “I suppose. Am I barred from the Diadem completely?”

Aymeric thought, gaze sliding from Etien’s face to the corner of his eyes. “No, not completely. But please make those excursions short.”

Etien nodded. “All right. So what was it that you had been thinking about?”

Now he cleared his throat, a look of slight frustration coming over his face as he returned to the problem he’d been turning over in his mind while Etien slept. “How we’re going to… break the news. We were quick to announce the engagement. And we were very publicly married; three-quarters of the city was there. But this one is rather more sticky.”

Etien tilted her head. “Is it?”

“Unfortunately. Pregnancy is a rather quietly conducted affair in Ishgard. Not for shame reasons—well. Shame certainly can play a role in the hushed nature. You heard the story of Hilda’s mother. But mostly it’s the climate. Nearing ten years of constant winter is harsh, but the dragons were harsher. Even if the Temple Knights are always itching for ranks to be filled, best not to get our hopes up. Though, we have no need to fear dragons now. Thanks to you, I might add.”

Etien sighed. “I see.”

“It’s early yet, is all,” Aymeric said in an attempt to soothe her. “Though, in my opinion, that is no reason for us not to tell our nearest and dearest the good news. Which leaves us with two main concerns: Lord Edmont and Estinien.”

II.

Estinien let himself in, like he usually did, and wasn’t very surprised by the sight of Etien perched on the loveseat like she usually was, but there was something off about it.

It didn’t feel wrong or bad, just different in a way he couldn’t put his finger on.

He shed his coat, though, hanging it by the door by Etien and Aymeric’s everyday outerwear, and then made his way back to join Etien, sitting down.

“Do you want coffee, Estinien?”

“Not if you have to go to trouble for it.”

The way Etien’s eyelids lifted, as if in shock, only added to the mystery of the situation, but as she stammered her way through an “I— well— all right. But don’t hesitate to ask,” Estinien was already settling again.

“Is everything all right?” he asked her. “You have this air of frisson, and I’ve followed you into situations much more dangerous than this.”

She swallowed, lifting a hand to cover her mouth. “Everything is fine.” She took a deep breath, then gave him a smile. “I’m not trying to worry you, I’m sorry.”

He sat back in his chair.

Aymeric came into the room then, carrying a tray. He greeted Estinien, then put the tray down on the table and started unloading it.  First, he placed down the pot of rooibos tea in front of Etien, and she smiled again, thanking him.

As Aymeric kept working, Estinien commented with a little snort,“One would think you were the viscountess by birth, and him your humble servant-come-lover arrived from the Shroud.”

Etien giggled. “I promise you, I don’t ask him to do this. I’m certainly not about to kick these shoes off and use him as a footstool or any of that nonsense. No, he, uh—well, he does it because of what I’m about to tell you.”

“Oh? And what might that be?”

“We’re…” Her ears flattened. “I’m expecting.”

“Why the nerves? It’s not mine, is it?”

She choked on her tea just as Aymeric sat down next to her, setting a hand on her back. She lifted a hand to signify she was okay, but he didn’t remove his hand, just rubbed her back as she started to speak.

“There’s no way of knowing that until they’re born,” she said, playing with the handle of her teacup. “And the likelihood of it is down to calculations, I think. Not something I thought much about.”

“Nor should you, really. I forget sometimes how you respond to even light jests when you’re already on edge.” He glanced down to the teapots, then up to Aymeric. “Might I have a cup of that?”

He poured Estinien a cup of tea, laughing softly (as he always did) when Estinien’s nose crinkled after the first sip.

“I still don’t understand how you two drink this,” he grumbled into the delicate china.

Etien giggled before taking another sip of her tea. “Even before now, my hands shake if I have too much, which is dangerous in my line of work.”

“A line of work that surely you’ll be temporarily removed from?” he asked, eyebrows lifting.

“Well, yes,” she responded with a sigh. “Can’t say I’ll miss all of it. But I will be taking a break. Aymeric is going to be making sure of it.”

“Good. Someone has to keep you still for five minutes.”

“You know, I do miss Ishgard when I’m not here. I’ll enjoy the break, and getting to be here for longer than a moon at a time.”

“So long as we’re all happy about this.”

“Are we?” she asked, inner corners of her eyebrows pitching upwards.

Estinien rose from his seat, coming to a knee in front of her. With a grin that indicated the slight degree of sarcasm, he took her hand. “Mistress Mellifer, or Lady Borel, if you prefer—” he laughed when she flustered— “I’m thrilled for the two of you.”

III.

There was an almost amusing degree of awkwardness as Etien and Aymeric sat down in the foyer of Fortemps Manor.

Still, this took much less bravery than confronting the Archbishop had, or facing the True Brotherhood of the Faith.

So, hands entwined, both with palms sweating, they delivered the good news to the grandfather-to-be.

“Lord Edmont...er, Father. We have some news for you,” Etien began.

He sat down, keen to hear what they had to share with him. “News from the two of you? That is nearly a guarantee of something exciting.”

“A little more exciting for us and our family, to be sure,” Aymeric agreed. “In any event, we came to tell you that in a matter of moons, the family is going to be growing. We aren’t sure yet by how many. Apparently, it’s difficult to gauge the size of Miqo’te litters until much later in the pregnancy.”

A long pause extended between the two couches. As the seconds ticked by, Etien sank her teeth into her lip as she waited for Edmont’s reaction. She didn’t harbor any fear of a negative reaction—that would be highly irregular compared to everything up to this point, to begin with—but she was hoping this surprise wasn’t too much to take in.

He beamed. “Oh, how wonderful! I did wonder when this day would arrive, and it has so much sooner than I dared to hope. I take it you’ve been confined to Borel Manor for the foreseeable future, barring any emergencies?”

Etien laughed. “Not quite. As far as I’m aware, I’m still allowed to take some light travel for a little while longer, and then be reassessed later on. Then I will be corralled into Ishgard, if not the house, until my due date. Whenever that ends up being. Hard to calculate now.”

“My goodness, you really do set out to break every barrier put before you, don’t you?” Edmont asked, fondness in his tone. “Forging peace, righting wrongs committed years to a millennium ago, and now as always, defying the odds. I must admit, I half-expected you to be out there working to rebuild the Firmament by yourself.”

“She did nearly attempt to start that the other day,” Aymeric said dryly.

“Ah. Well, no surprise there.” He laughed. “Help Halone out a little as She keeps you, and take things at a speed slightly slower than breakneck, just this once. For all of us.”

Etien let her eyes shut as she nodded. “I will.”

IV.

When Feo Ul had promised that there was always the realm of the dreams, they had been completely serious, and Etien was glad of it. They happened to come for a visit, all bubbles and brightness, on a night where she had been struggling to fall asleep.

“Feo!” She cried, wrapping them up in a hug. “You have impeccable timing.”

“And you do not, my sapling. I’ve been trying to get into your dreams for ages! What kept you up so late? What burdens your heart?”

“Oh, physical discomforts,” she sighed. She’d been doing a fair amount of sighing again. “Just hard to get rest now, I suppose.”

“Shall I have Thon Sul see what they can do for you? As long as we remain here in the dream realm, you’ll have sweet, peaceful sleep, but if getting here is what’s giving you trouble…”

“I don’t know if they can help me. They certainly can’t—Feo, there was something I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh? Have you taken an especially eventful journey you wish to tell me of?”

“Well, I haven’t taken it yet,” Etien said. “But I wanted you to know. The fae like to be kept apprised of these sorts of things, don’t they?”

Feo Ul’s eyes lit up as their expression grew even more keen. “What new path is my ephemeral flower about to embark upon? I stand ready to bestow my blessings!”

She smiled. “Thank you, Feo.” She took a deep breath. “I’m—”

“Oh, don’t tell me!” They chirped, fluttering around her. “You do have that glow.”

“You’re not the first person to tell me that,” Etien replied with a laugh.

“Good, because it’s true. Already you wear the mantle so well. As you wore those placed upon you in your time here.” They paused, looking her in the eyes. “Remember what I told you, about the moment and place you’re in. From what I hear, it goes by fast for you mortals.” They floated lower than Etien’s eye level then, laying their hands just under her breastbone. “I can’t make a pact with them like I did with you, but they’re just as blessed by the fae.” With a nod, they rose again, gazing into Etien’s misty eyes. “Oh my sapling, you have no idea how glad I am those are tears of joy. I worried so when you cried before.”

Etien wiped at her eyes. “What cause would I have to cry now, Feo? I have the best of the worlds here at my fingertips, at the fringes of my mind.”

“And here we’ll remain,” they assured her. “Now, get your rest. You’ll need it for your new adventure.”

With a light sigh, Etien did as she was told, mind eased by the dream spun around her, and the dreams she had coming true.

[mybrainbutonpaper]

There He Was Again

Chapter 4

—finally finished this, sorry it took awhile, school started and it has been taking up most of my time. My friend edited it a bit so I hope you like it.

— summary

Lovino was having some suspicion of his husband Antonio because he was acting strange, but when he does figure what has been going on behind closed doors he decides to run to Germany and to live with his brother. Though he was expecting to just stay there and sulk, he ended up finding someone new who he didn’t expect to fall in love with.

—————————————————————————

Coming by friends sounds like an overall easy task, but continuous contemplation of approaching Gilbert with the whole “friend” thing, it’s... quite strenuous and tiring. Often you don’t think about pushing yourself to make friends abruptly. Friends Usually come by without a second thought. However anxiety made its way with Lovino, and it drove him up the wall. Subsequently sitting up in bed, He determined to look to the internet for refutable advice to rid himself of these anxieties. He jumped from his bed, grabbed his phone from atop his dresser, and began to do some research.

The morning came and Lovino still doesn’t feel prepared, he still is going to use the websites' advice: “Highlight a similarity”—so common interests... let’s try that.

He quickly got his clothes on and slowly tiptoed out of his room. Instantly he heard Ludwig and Gilbert’s loud conversation (they weren’t exactly quiet) and Feliciano’s humming. Lovino tried to eavesdrop. But they were speaking in German, and Lovino’s German wasn't all that great. He still had a hard time understanding them. After failing to eavesdrop, he began to slowly walk into the kitchen, taking in the fragrance of his brother's home cooked breakfast.

Feeling slightly nervous, Lovino looks through the room: Gilbert and Ludwig talking and drinking coffee at the table and Feliciano making food at the kitchen counter. He slowly inched his way to his brother, hoping Gilbert or Ludwig won’t notice him.

“Guten Morgen!” Gilbert greeted and Ludwig continued to sip his coffee, kinda tensing up.

Lovino suspiciously looked at them and replied with a simple hum and continued his way to the kitchen. Lovino was nervous. If he said something, he would’ve lashed out like he usually does when he’s nervous, but Lovino still wants this guy to like him. This caught Ludwig's attention, and Lovino noticed, he noticed by his stupid surprised face. Lovino wasn’t a very nice person in general, he always gave a complaint about something when walking into any room but Lovino didn’t want to annoy the albino German.

Lovino goes into the kitchen, greeting his brother as he grabs himself some coffee, “Hey brother, there’s no work today.” Feliciano informed him as he made breakfast.

“What, why?” Lovino asks, “Are these germans having a holiday or something?”

“No, me and Ludwig are going to move somethings around the restaurant today, we’re also going to paint the walls a different color.” Feliciano chirped, “it’s been quite some time since we last changed the restaurant a bit!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Lovino scoffed, “Geez, I don’t understand why you have to change it around, looks alright.”

“Well, it’s nice to change things up a bit!” Feliciano chirped as he finished breakfast, “Can you help me?” Feliciano asks as he struggles to pick up the plates.

Lovino picks up the two plates and heads over to the dining area but before he entered Feliciano grabbed his upper arm, pulled Lovino in and whispered into his ear, “I also wanted to give you a day off to get to know Gilbert.”

“What...?!” Lovino exclaims.

“Breakfast is done!” Feliciano announces as he sets the plates on the table.

“Awesome! I’m starving!” Gilbert grinned as he reached for the plate. Gilbert took a quick bite and groaned, “This is amazing! I forgot how amazing your food is!”

“Grazie.” Feliciano thanked.

As Gilbert was devouring his plate Lovino was thinking of similar topics to talk about, he then remembered about the website— Highlight similarity. So he has to figure out a way to say and ask about his interest, I guess talk about something then he’ll lead to it.

Think of something quick, “Um, Gilbert, I heard you were going around Europe, do you travel for work?” Lovino asked, his face warming up.

Gilbert hummed in response, he quickly swallowed his food and replied, “you could say.”

Ludwig then answers, “Gilbert is an author, his stories take place in some parts in Europe so he goes there to get a full idea of the place.”

“I’m writing about History you could say but I add a little bit of my awesomeness.” Gilbert grins.

“So like a Speculative Fiction?” Lovino asks.

“yup,” Gilbert confirms as he continues to eat his food, not giving Lovino his full attention which was kind of irritating him.

“What about you? What do you do besides working at Vargas’s?” Gilbert asks.

Lovino was a little hesitant on sharing what he does for a living but if he wanted to get to know this guy then he has to tell him something about himself too, it’s only fair, “I don’t really have a Job yet, still in college.” Lovino replied as he started playing with the food, “To pay for the essentials I just get a part-time job.”

“Oh, but a part-time job isn’t really enough to get yourself a crib.” Gilbert pointed out, “I’m guessing that didn’t work out for ya, huh? Probably the reason why you're huddling up with your brother, right?” instantly the atmosphere became tense.

It became quite silent for a split second, everyone in the room except for Gilbert understood lovino’s situation and was probably thinking that this might’ve upset him but to be honest, he wasn't wrong. Lovino doesn’t have a sustainable job, he hasn’t had any type of job for the past couple of years until he moved in with Antonio. Lovino stayed there while he focused and got through college, but sense Lovino is no longer living with him and living with his brother Lovino decided that he might as well work instead of just focusing on class, hoping that he might be able to save up enough money to get himself a cheap and affordable place.

“I was living with someone before but some things happened which caused me to move out so I decided to live with my brother.” Lovino informed.

Gilbert’s grin widened, completely ignoring the tense air,”Let me guess, he got into a relationship.” okay, now that hurt, “I get it! One time I was rooming with this one friend of mine. The house was really nice, it had a good amount of rooms and lots of space for the awesome me but I ended up being kicked out because she started kissing up to this one prick.”

“Wha… No!” Lovino corrected, “It was nothing like that! Don’t assume things, it’ll only make you more stupider than you are now. And the person probably kicked you out because you were being too god damn loud.” Lovino felt a little regret after he said that.

“No way, it was all because of that prick!” Gilbert argues.

“Actually, you're half right.” Ludwig confirms, “She kicked him out because he was being too loud and annoying, apparently he kept teasing Roderich.”

Gilbert then bickered, “well the prick needed to be teased, he basically asked for it.”

“What did Roderich do? He’s a nice guy.” Feliciano asked as he picks up the empty plate in front of Gilbert, “He gives us nice things for our anniversaries and he makes really good cake.”

“He’s a stingy little prick. The guys loaded but he doesn’t give me any fancy stuff. And we’re cousins!” Gilbert pouted.

“I wouldn’t if I were him,” restraint was gone, “You're loud and an asshole, I mean, why would anyone get anything for you.” Lovino insulted, forget about being friends with this guy, this guys an absolute ass hat.

“Geez, I don’t understand why Feliciano suggested you in the first place! Good advice my ass.” Lovino grumbled as he looked at Feliciano who just pouted.

“I’m going to the Living room.” Felicinao announces as he leaves the room and Ludwig follows after him.

Gilbert’s face changed, “Wait, wait--feliciano suggested me?” Gilbert spoke with great disbelief, his eyes shifting to the door where Feliciano exited.

Gilbert’s posture changes entirely, “I mean--of course! Don’t lose faith, I’m awesome.” he boasts with a wide grin. Eyes shifting to the side, Gilbert takes a sip of his morning coffee to gain his delighted composure, “Well, here’s some good advice…”

“Nah, I don’t want to hear any of it. ” Lovino interrupts as he gets up from his chair, “If you already got yourself kicked out, why should I take any advice from you?”

“Because Lovino, people are flawed! And I’m a person who loves my mistakes! I take each and everyone with of pride, and so should you. It makes you feel better and it gets you out of your room.” Gilbert’s grin snakes across his face, and his hand to the bottom of his chin, folded together.

“Whatever, Frosty the fucking snowman.” Lovino snorts, as he starts storming to the front door.

“Hey, where are you going?” Gilbert asks.

“I’m going for a walk!” Lovino yells before he slams the door.

Lovino starts making his way to the park thinking about how the heck Feliciano saw Gilbert as a good and potential friend for him. He was an idiot for actually considering the idea.

“Learning from my mistakes,” Lovino snorts,``Like I need you of all people to remind me.”

Previous chapter

-So I finished, the next chapter won’t be for a while because of my class. I would like some good and honest feedback but just reading it is good too. I hope you enjoyed the story.

[highroadsteve]

Pride [1]

—the beginning of it

warnings: language

a/n: i changed up the story! i decided to rewrite this series because i just wasn’t feeling the first write. hope u enjoy!! srry for any mistakes :)

pride masterlist

“The most incomprehensible thing in the world to a man, is a woman who rejects his offer of marriage.” Lorelli (or Elli for short) had taken the book that you were reading, out of your hand and read a random line out loud. You looked at her with your mouth open, waiting for her to place the book back in your hands. She finally did, before speaking again.

“What book is that anyway?” Elli asked, taking the spot next to you and changing the channel on the television. You were starting to concentrate on your book again, as you answered her question distractedly. It was a boring book, but you were invested in it right now and Elli is just making it a thousand times harder to pay attention.

“Umm...Pride and Prejudice.”

Elli raised one of her eyebrows and sat back on the couch, “didn’t we read that book already in high school?”

“Yeah but now I actually have to read it.”

Ah, Pride and Prejudice. Brings back memories from senior year that you had honestly tried repressing. All the feelings of procrastination and excitement were coming back with every word you read. Your teenage mind was so excited to find out if Elizabeth and Darcy end up together or not. But alas, this assignment was not about the plot, but more so the underlying one.

You were reading a book that you had read years ago, but since you were trying to become a writer, analyzing books and the purpose of every single word was the work you had to do now. It was always a struggle, but you knew that it would all be worth it in the end. At least, that’s what you’re hoping for.

“So, you ready for Jacob’s party tonight?” Elli asked as she sipped her drink. You looked up at her in confusion. What day was it? Isn’t today Friday?

“Isn’t it tomorrow night?”

“No, it’s tonight. Saturday.”

Fuck. That damn daylights-savings time had been screwing with you to the point where you don’t even know what day it is anymore. The party had completely slipped your mind, you weren’t at all ready. You hadn’t spoken to Jacob in months, and now that you were actually going to see him, you were busy.

“Ah shit, I have to read.” You groaned, turning the book over so that it rested with your thumb on the page you were reading. Elli looked at you and pouted. Jacob wanted to have a party at his house for Halloween but since nobody from the friend group was able to make it, the party was moved to two weekends ahead. But, of course, your professor had to assign a paper that’s due in a few days. College years are the best years, they said. It would be so much fun, they said.

“Come on, Y/N. We said we would go.” Elli whined, her eyebrows furrowing upwards and began to basically beg you. Now, you had two choices. You can either stay home and finish reading so that you could actually start your paper, or you can go to the party that everyone is going to be at and you’d be able to see friends you haven’t seen in half a year. Hmm, college work vs friendship?

“Okay let’s make a deal. You don’t talk to me for the next few hours. And I mean, no talking. I don’t care if the apartment is going to burst into flames, if I don’t finish this book by the time we go to Jacob’s party then I will burst into flames myself. Deal?” You explained to Elli and she smiled, taking out her hand for you to shake.

“Deal.” And with that, the two of you shook hands.

...

Why the hell is it so hard to read an entire book in a few hours? You were seriously starting to consider just reading sparknotes and bullshit your essay that way. But the clock kept ticking and ticking, and you were running out of time.

Elli kept her part of the deal and she hadn’t spoken a single word to you. She took her belongings and headed to her room where she would be less likely to make noise. Wow, she’s actually an amazing friend, you’re so damn lucky.

It is almost an hour before the party is supposed to start, and you were almost done with the book. Your heart began to race as you tried to finish reading the book, but your mind kept wandering to the time and your nerves about the party were getting to you.

Jacob’s parties have always been lit, his house would always be crowded with people you don’t know and there are drinks in literally every crevice of the house. You never really knew what to expect. At one party, you saw a guy stand on the pool table, grab one of the lights and completely smashing it with the light adjacent to it. For no apparent reason. At a second party, there was a random girl who started baking a pie in the oven and served it to the people waiting in the line. There were so many different instances where strange things had happened, you seriously had no idea what to expect.

And for some reason, you were getting extremely nervous for this one. The thoughts in your head were rapidly changing, one thought moving to the next in .01 seconds.

What are you going to wear? Who’s going to be there? Knowing Jacob, he’s going to invite Tom Holland. Ah crap, Tom Holland. Not only is he a famous actor, but you’re going to have to make a good first impression. And first impressions are so fucking stressful. He’s going to think of you a certain way for the rest of his life. Shit, Tom Holland means Harrison Osterfield. Is he going too?! Oh gosh, what the hell are you going to wear—

And with that, the clock that sat in front of you hit the one hour mark before the party. And you know you take forever getting ready so there’s no way that you’re going to make it if you don’t start now. You groan and grab your bookmark, quickly closing your book and tossing it on the couch.

You basically sprinted to your room to get into the shower. This party is already stressful and it hasn’t even started.

...

Pulling up to the court, you and Elli looked at each other with widened eyes at the amount of people inside. The music was loud enough to be heard from almost a mile away, there was no parking, and there were some people running around, tagging each other. Nerves were bubbling up inside of you, the thought of having to socialize in a setting like this was making you a wreck. Was that a guy riding a scooter on the grass?

“Alright, Z and Laura said they’re in the dining room. So, let’s go.” Elli said with a breathy voice. Her eyes were focused on her phone as she opened the car door and walked out. You took in a deep breath and opened your door, stepping out into the cold weather.

The inside of the house was almost no different than the outside. People everywhere, music louder than one can handle, solo cups in every square inch, and the smell of alcohol with body fragrance filling the air. This wasn’t really the environment you associated with, but anything to hang out with your friends.

As you walked into the house, you and Elli spotted Laura and Zendaya sitting at the dining table along with a ton of other people. Zendaya spotted the two of you and smiled, motioning you two to join them, which you followed. You smiled and waved at everyone around you, giving Laura and Zendaya a hug before sitting down next to them and next to Elli.

“Jesus Christ, I thought you two wouldn’t show up.” Zendaya teased after you pulled away from the hug. You stuck your tongue out at her. Oh, how much you missed that sarcastic tone of hers.

“Hey Y/N! Glad you could make it! Heard you have a reading assignment to do.” Laura moved closer to you so you could hear her, and you nodded in response.

“Yeah well, I would’ve felt guilty if I hadn’t shown up. You know how excited we all were to finally see each other.”

The party continued on, and everyone was having a good time. After a couple drinks and dancing, you let yourself go and actually began to enjoy the night. You, Zendaya, Laura, and Elli were all playing beer pong against each other when everyone at the party started crowding around the front door.

Deciding to investigate, you paused the gamewith the girls and peaked over to the livingroom. In the middle of the crowd stood the blond and the brunette that were so famous for their good looks and good acting. Everyone was greeting the two guys, Jacob coming up and giving them a gigantic bear hug, to which they returned happily. The holy trinity, people called them.

“Tom! Haz! Ayy!” Zendaya greeted when the boys came up to the table you were playing on. They were all smiling and cheering with drinks being handed to them, it was so nice that everyone got along so well.

“Guys, this is Y/N and this is Elli. These two replaced you in our squad, sorry.” Laura introduced the two of you to the boys and you laughed off the joke. How could you possibly replace the most important people in the squad?

Harrison, or Haz as he insisted on being called, was super excited to meet you and Elli. His light eyes were glimmering with such joy and his smile was bright and shining. He had a certain warmness to him, you automatically felt attracted and comfortable.

Tom, on the other hand, was not so excited. Sure, he was polite in having a small smile on his face and shaking your hands, but his body language seemed irritated. Maybe it was from Laura’s joke, maybe it didn’t sit right with him. There was no way that he was already not fond of you and Elli. You tried your best not to feel a certain way about him. After all, this is only the first time you met, he is most likely amazing since he is close friends with your friends.

“So, where are you from?” Harrison asked you as he took a sip from his drink. Everyone was back to their conversations and there no longer that loud energy in the air. Harrison decided to stay behind and get to know you instead of leaving with everyone else to the kitchen, which made you feel so warm.

“Oh I’m from a small city a couple hours away. But I’m attending school here which is why I moved.” You responded to him. The conversation continued and you were genuinely starting to like him. He was so kind, and he is putting so much effort into getting to know you, it’s surprising.

Behind Harrison, you saw Elli. She was standing there speaking to Tom. From what you could see, Tom had a slight smirk when he spoke, which kind of gave you an uneasy feeling about him. Not only did he barely acknowledge you when you were introduced, but he has that fuckboy characteristic to him that you were not fond of.

You narrowed your eyes a bit and turned back to Harrison, “hey you up for some beer pong?”.

Harrison looked at you with raised eyebrows and smiled, “uh yeah sure”.

With his answer, you yelled to your friends across the room and gathered them up to play a couple rounds. You decided to play boys against girls, with Laura opting out because she didn’t want to drink heavily.

“Oh shit, better quit now ‘cause Y/N is a fucking legend.” Zendaya hyped you up, causing you to roll your eyes and smile. Well, you wouldn’t say you were terrible.

“Oh yeah? Well you clearly hadn’t met Tom over here.” Jacob put his arm around Tom who only laughed along. You were starting to reach to grab the ping pong balls when Tom pushed passed you and grabbed them himself.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Y/N goes first, you div.” Zendaya spoke to Tom who was getting ready to shoot.

“Why?”

“Because she initiated the game.” Tom laughed at her and continued to aim the ball.

“And it’s called being a gentleman, asshole.” You said before Zendaya had a chance to respond. Tom only looked at you and raised his eyebrow. You can see from here that his ego is starting to suffer a bit from getting remarked by a total stranger.

He only rolled his eyes and passed the balls to you since you were arguing. However, he didn’t give you a warning so you weren’t able to catch the balls in time and they sprawled everywhere.

“Oh wow, thanks dude. Glad to see chivalry’s not dead.” You told him with your face starting to burn in both anger and embarrassment. He just looked at you and laughed softly, waving you off.

“No problem, darling.” He responded which only annoyed you even more because you had to pick up the balls, at least with Harrison’s help. But God, you already can’t stand that guy and it’s been less than hour since meeting him.

[hazzasgayvodka]

27 * HAVE FAITH IN ME * 27

Impact: chapter 27

Chapter title song: Have Faith In Me - A Day To Remember 

JESS

I wake up to Sam jumping on top of me, squealing about it being Halloween. When I look up with squinty eyes to see her face, her makeup is already done with thick black eyeliner and bright red lipstick. Her fishnet tights are bright red beneath her short black dress and I simply can't comprehend how she's ready this early in comparison to her usual daily routine of sleeping in till noon.

"You seem awfully chipper this morning." I groan, sitting up against the headboard behind me with a yawn.

"Of course, it's Halloween!" She shouts, her face grinning giddily and I find myself happy to see her so excited.

"I'm assuming you have some stellar plans for today considering you're already dressed." I laugh, "What are you supposed to be exactly?"

"I'm Harley Quinn silly," She laughs, "And me and Louis are going out for the day, he won't tell me where but I'm sure it will be romantic and amazing."

I nod, smiling with her, admiring the obvious love she displays for the lucky boy apparent in her features. It makes me wonder if I look the same when thinking of a certain pair of green eyes.

"Do you have any plans?" She asks.

"Not really," I shrug, "I have class this morning, I'm meeting Miles for coffee, then I guess I'll have a movie marathon of Young Frankenstein and Bewitched or something."

"You can always come to the party." She suggests, wiggling her eyebrows.

"And be the only person there without a date?" I ask, wiggling my eyebrows to mock her.

"You won't be the only one." She complains.

"Sam, it's literally called Cauldrons and Couples, it's a date party and my date is a workaholic." I sigh, dragging myself out of bed and starting to get dressed.

She huffs in frustration as she walks over to the mirror and checks her bright red lipstick one more time before I hear the beeping of Louis's horn outside. She turns to me with sympathetic eyes, but I wave her off.

"Go, have fun," I sigh, "But not too much fun."

She grins, walking out the door and closing it behind her. I feel stupidly clingy as I take out my phone and my fingers itch to text him. All I want is a day like Sam's where he has cute romantic things planned before the date party. I just wanted to dress like Batman and Cat Woman, maybe even win the costume contest.

My phone buzzes in my hand and I jump, checking to see a message from Miles reminding me about coffee. It comes in perfect timing and suddenly I'm snapped back into reality and finish getting dressed. I run a comb through my hair and throw a jacket over my seasonally appropriate orange sweater. I'm shoving my boots on as I walk through the dorm looking for my keys and finally find them in the pocket of his jacket laying across my couch. I walk out the door and down to my car and curse under my breath when I realize I have to scrape the ice off my windshield myself.

I collapse into my car once the road is visible through the windshield and shiver as I start it up. It takes a few tries, the motor clearly not wanting to work due to the freezing temperatures outside. I finally get it started and pull out of the parking lot and to the road, at least ten minutes late for coffee.

"You're late." Miles sing-songs when I finally slide into the booth across from him.

"I know," I huff, shoving the gloves off my hands, "Car trouble, it seems I've gotten a little too used to Harry clearing my windshield off and starting my car ahead of time."

"Well," He begins, handing me a hot mug, "I anticipated this and went ahead and ordered for you."

"You anticipated my car troubles and didn't think to call and help?" I tease, taking a sip of the hot coffee and welcoming its warmth between my hands.

"No," He laughs, "I anticipated that you'd be freezing."

I shrug, taking another sip of the coffee and I can feel my insides starting to defrost. I finally look down at his shirt, it says 'let's get spooky'. In the span of time from getting ready to driving here, I nearly forgot it was even Halloween.

"Are you going to the party tonight?" I ask, looking at him over the rim of my mug.

"The party?" He asks quizzically.

"Sam and Louis's party, it's at the Omega Tau house," I say hoping to jog his memory, "Come on, Couples and Cauldrons?"

"I've got nothing," He laughs, "But no, I'm not going. I hand out candy on Halloween, there's loads of families in my neighborhood."

"Oh, maybe I'll join you." I nod.

"You're not going with Harry?" He asks nervously.

"No, sadly my boyfriend is a crazy workaholic and can't pull himself away from the office for even one night of fun." I groan, rolling my eyes exaggeratively.

"He means well," He sighs, "He obviously really wants this promotion and is willing to work for it. Where's the harm in that?"

I can't believe it as he takes Harry's side, my best friend, falling to the dark side. I suppose he's right, he's been working so hard but that's also why he deserves a break for one night. Miles stands from the booth and I follow him the rest of the way to class, both of us sitting in our regular seats as we take out our notes.

For some reason, my stomach flips every time the door opens, getting my hopes up that for some reason he'll be showing up to class today but I know he won't be. He's already explained to all of his professors and the dean that he's been working crazy hours and had Vance sign off on his time card to prove so. He's been excused from a few classes a week based on his schedule and every time he's not here I find myself bored to death an unable to pay attention.

"No Harry again?" Miles asks, leaning over to whisper in my ear.

"Nope, he's at the office." I sigh, slumping back down in my chair as I take a glance at the empty seat next to me.

I try to pay attention in class but every possible thought other than math decides to invade my mind as Ms. Dante walks up to the board to go over statistical analysis. I try to work it through in my head if I were to visit him at work tonight. I could bring Spiro's, he could take a twenty-minute break and eat dinner with me and then I'll leave and be content.

I finally give into my rampant thoughts and send him a quick text just to be able to talk to him. I hope that he isn't in a meeting or anything and if he is he's smart enough to put his phone on vibrate. But even as me and Miles are walking out of Stats I don't receive a response. Even as I go to literature only to find a note taped on the door that says class has been cancelled, my phone remains silent. Even as I pull into my parking spot and walk in the front door of my dorm I am not interrupted by the slight buzz in my pocket. And then I start to worry.

HARRY

I wake up, my head pounding.

Four in the morning.

Year old images.

Cold sweat.

Fire.

Newspaper.

November.

Car crash.

Dead.

The thoughts race through my mind like I'm on autopilot, unable to stop them with the force I am equipped with. I shake my head hoping to drown the demons for another few hours before I decide a glass of bourbon would be more effective.

It's eight in the morning when Jason shows up with two bottles of vodka. His eyes are red, and I know it's not from weed, he's been crying. We drink together, both a bottle in one hand. At some point Niall appears, scotch down his throat. His eyes are bloodshot, his shirt is tearstained.

They wonder why I'm not the same, why it doesn't tear me apart the way it does them. I answer them by taking another sip of vodka. I answer them by running my hands along the ink on my skin, by taking out a cigarette and lighting it between my lips, by turning on the record player and inhaling the sweet smell of marijuana like it might be my saving grace.

I look up to the ceiling, my eyes falling closed within the swirl of fog I've encompassed myself in and I can see his face. The words on my skin burn, the Arabic letters forever etched into my skin. I claim them to be meaningless, cultivations engraved into my skin to pay a tribute to nothing. They are so much more. A reminder, a mantra, a documentation of the existential thoughts that run rampant in my head when I am left in silence for seconds too long.

I feel each line in my skin, I don't have to see them to trace their shape in my mind. Despite the intoxication, I remember, no matter how hard I try not to. October thirty first, the day it all happened, the day it all changed. The day I'd become someone else, someone I never wanted to be.

JESS

Another text.

A call.

A text to Niall.  

A call to Niall.

A call to the office, he never came in.

Must've slept in, yes that's got to be it.

Seconds later I'm in the car, my heart racing for reasons I'm unsure of. A shaky drive and shaky hands reaching to knock on the door. A shaky body wrapping around itself to keep warm.

Nobody answers, is he still asleep? My curiosity and worriedness get the best of me and I try the door handle, it opens. Surely, he didn't leave it unlocked but he did.

The smell hits me first. Hard liquor and marijuana. The usual stiffness of cigarette smoke lingers but the sweet fragrance of tequila drowns it out, it doesn't even feel like his house. Four empty bottles in the living room, two bottles of scotch on his nightstand. A bong on the table. A sticky haze covers everything.

I open a few windows hoping to air it out but the smell lingers, sticking to me and dragging me down with it. I check every room just in case. His car is here but he is not, he's with someone.

Louis? No, he's with Sam.

Niall? No, Niall doesn't drive.

A few more phone calls and my stomach is sick. Every part of my chest is collapsing on itself when I ask myself where on Earth he could be.

I call everyone.

Lex.

Vance.

Eliza.

Louis.

Sam.

Miles. He answers on the second ring, his voice frantic when he hears the tears in my voice that I can't hold back any longer.

"Where is he?" I sob, and I can hear him breathing unsteadily on the other end.

"I don't know."

Miles shows up after his last class. I cry into his arms on Harry's couch. I hope he'll walk through the door any minute now. I want to leave but the haze keeps me stuck, stuck to his ugly striped couch in this barren hazy living room where he's not.

Another call.

Another text.

Nothing.

32 in total.

I cry into his pillow, I throw the bottle of scotch to the ground and let it shatter against his floor. Miles runs in and navigates around the glass. He sits on the edge of his bed and tells me he'll be alright. I want to believe him, but I can't. My heart is being pierced, twisted by my constricting lungs as I try to convince myself that he didn't lie to me again. He's somewhere with someone buying me flowers and he'll walk through the door any second.

Eliza and Vance come. They don't know where he is. They hug me, and I allow it, even Vance. Lex comes later, just as worried as I am. His eyes are wide as he looks around the house, opening the windows didn't do much.

"The scotch is bad," he says, eyeing the bottle on his nightstand, "He used to have a drinking problem."

He hugs me but not as tight as Vance and not as carefully as Miles.

Another call.

Another text.

Nothing.

39 in total.

Hysteria.

Where is he?

Miles holds me, cradles me, tells me that it's going to be okay but what if it's not. All I can hear is the shattering of the bottle echoing in my ears and Lex's voice.

"He used to have a drinking problem."

The worst scenarios make their way into my head. I hope to god that he didn't drink all of the alcohol himself, that he didn't smoke all the cigarettes himself, that he didn't lie to me all himself.

HARRY

Frat house.

Bourbon.

Cigarettes.

I see red eyes all around me, dried tears on flushed cheeks. The sun is going down outside, and I can feel the numbness creeping in with every second of light we lose. The house is packed full. Drinks are pouring, music pumping, smoke drifting to every conceivable corner of the house. It covers you in a haze, tries to drag you down with it and you have to be strong enough to stop it.

The music is loud, and the bass is thumping, rattling my bones. It's hard to walk around without the pulsating beat drumming into your heart and filling your chest. I keep a drink in my hand at all times and its never water. Before I know it, I've loosened up enough to start dancing.

Niall is already shitfaced, shirtless on the dance floor with three different girls. The fog machine seems a little much, but I know how crazy Louis likes to go on Halloween. The laser lights dance across the floor, reflecting in the haze of smoke and fog that has accumulated throughout the house.

"Is that Harry Styles coming out to dance with us?" Louis gasps causing the group to laugh, "I can't even tell you the last time that happened."

"Oh, shut up would you?" I chuckle, gulping down the last few sips of some cranberry cinnamon drink Sam made for Halloween.

I toss the cup behind me, hearing the cheap plastic hit the ground. The beat to the music changes, the song moving onto the next one. The electronic sounds mix together to create some sort of melody, the words of the song spoken in a monotonous voice to the beat of the song like a less enthusiastic rap. I don't care as I slip into the crowd dancing, joining in with Louis and Niall.

"Where's your costume man?" Louis jokes, gesturing to his well-done Joker outfit to match Sam's Harley Quinn.

"You see I'm Harry Styles, title holding boxer and part time tattoo artist, quite the superman if you ask me." I smirk, Louis laughing along with me and throwing his arm over my shoulder.

I'm surrounded by flailing limbs and sweaty bodies all pressed together and sucking in the same air. It's hot way too fast, sweat beading on my forehead and the tips of my hair growing damp. My shirt is soaked and soon hands are reaching for the hem of it and tugging it over my head. I meet heavily lined eyes and bleached blonde hair. Ashlyn. Her hands roam my body and I welcome them, ice cold against my burning skin. I forget about my scars standing in the haze with my lips pressed to hers, I forget about it all as I shove her up against the wall and rip her thin mesh shirt off her torso.

"Do you want me again, Harry?" She asks, her nasally voice shattering my small nirvana I've created within myself.

"Does it really matter?" I breathe, pressing my skin to hers and spiraling into an infinite haze of bottled memories and permanent damage.

JESS

I call Niall again with shaking hands and the weight on my chest lifts when I hear the call go through, his voice shouting into the receiver.

"Hey Jess! What's up?" He slurs, the sound of pumping bass music in the background making it hard to even hear the few words he says.

"Hey Niall, where are you? Is Harry there?" I ask my mind working a million miles a minute and praying that he's right beside him.

"What?" He shouts, his voice coming out slow and slurred.

"Is Harry there?" I shout, matching his volume and nearly screaming into the phone.

"Harry? Yeah of course he's here! It's the one day of the year we get shitfaced!" He shouts, and I can hear the smile in his voice.

"Niall, listen to me, where are you guys?" I shout, hoping that I haven't already lost his attention, "Niall! Niall are you there? Put Harry on the phone!"

"He's a bit busy right now," He laughs, "I'll have him call you back!"

A chorus of hollering follows his shouting and I instantly know where they are. I hang up the phone and put it in my pocket, every cell of my being fuming with anger. My lips are pulled tight, my hands balled into fists. How could he do this? How could he lie just to go to a stupid party that I wanted to go to?

"What did he say? Are they okay?" Miles asks a million questions, his worried eyes trying to meet mine.

"They're fine, but lord knows he won't be fine once I'm done with him."

We pull up outside the frat house and I hardly wait for the car to come to a complete stop before I'm opening the car door and walking up the grass to the front door. My entire body is shaking in anger and I can't decide if I want to cry even more than I have or slap him across the face as soon as I see him.

"Jess!" Miles shouts, frantically trying to shut the car off and clamber out after me, "Wait up!"

"I'll be right back, stay here!" I shout to him.

I walk right through the front door and into the smoky haze of the house. The stench of marijuana covers everything and lingers in the smoke produced from the fog machines around the living room. The lasers shining around the room color the room green, red and blue, catching my eye and leading me to the dance floor.

Every person I pass looks half dead, eyes sunk in and skin like paper. They carry red cups filled with fizzy liquid and rolled joints between their fingers. The music is so loud it hurts my ears and thumps all the way through my chest. The bass thunders against the walls and I find myself wondering how they haven't gotten a noise complaint yet.

I continue through the house hoping to find him or someone I know. As soon as my eyes land on him I want to turn around and walk back the way I came and forget any of this ever happened.

"Why hello there Jess." He smirks, his eyes looking even more bloodshot than usual due to his Edward Scissorhands costume.

"Fuck off Ryland, I'm here to find Harry." I huff, pushing past him.

"Oh, I wouldn't do that, you might not like what you see." He laughs, and the fact that this is a joke to him makes me want to tackle him to the ground.

"Show me where he is right now." I demand, grabbing him by his mop of black hair.

"Easy babe easy, he's right over there." He smiles, his yellowed teeth making me gag.

He points over to the dance floor and my eyes fall on him instantly. Shirtless with his pants sagging on his hips, the top band of his boxers visible. His hair is matted to his forehead, his skin glistening with sweat as he grinds with two different blondes, their hands roaming every inch of his skin.

I feel it in my chest as it happens, as it registers in my mind, as my plan formulates in my head. My heart shatters, my entire chest cavity becoming constricted as I watch in agony. Suddenly, I'm standing in front of him with tears threatening to spill over my cheeks, my hand raised. He barely realizes I'm standing right in front of him before my hand is leaving a mark on his cheek and causing him to stumble backwards gripping his reddened skin.

"Fucking hell Harry, are you kidding me? Are you actually kidding right now?" I shout, shoving him backwards, my voice cracking in my throat as the first angry tears burst from my eyes.

"Jess no it's not-"

"Just shut up Harry! It's exactly what I think! There's nothing you can say that can change it! I can't believe you!" I scream, hysteria setting in to each of my words.

"Jess I can explain-"

"I'd like to see you try," I seethe, "You're just as I always knew you were, I can't believe I let myself be blindsided by you! I fell for you and it was a fucking joke!"

He opens his mouth to speak but I turn away, nearly bumping right into Zack's chest as he grabs me by the shoulders, leaning down so that our faces are only a few inches apart.

"Oh Jess, you didn't really think he cared about you, did you?" He asks, his voice laced with malice coated in sugary sweet sympathy, "Oh dear you did, didn't you?"

His mouth curls into a sneer, his features being that of true evil. He's haunting with his sullen eyes and shaking fingers, grasping me and telling me that all of my worst fears are real.

"Go to hell." I spit, shrugging his hands off me.

"Fine, I won't tell you what you want to know, the secrets he still has." Zack smirks, his feet gingerly working their way in a circle around me.

I meet Harry's eyes, wide and sober. Something about our confrontation has ripped him from his intoxicated state and he's back to being on high alert.

"Shut the fuck up Zack!" He shouts, running forwards and tackling him against the wall.

Rather than being shocked, Zack simply laughs. His head rolls back against the wall as he cackles, his arms bound by Harry's grip and I can tell that any minute Harry's going to snap.

"Oh Harry, you know I have nothing to lose, however you have everything and I intend to toss each and every bit of what you have left into the fire myself," He sneers, his voice low and intentional, calculated to send shivers down your spine, "Why don't we start with the driving shall we? You see Harry used to be a getaway driver for me, he'd cut through police cars on the highway at a hundred miles an hour easy."

"Shut the fuck up!" Harry shouts, his fist pounding into Zack's cheek instantly knocking his head back against the wall.

"Oh, we're just getting started!" Zack shouts exasperatedly, "How about the drugs, Harry? Don't you remember being the delivery man? Or would you like me to bring up the crash first? The one where you killed your best friend and forever ruined your other ones because of the trauma afterwards."

I can't hold back the tears as they burst from my eyes and cascade down my cheeks. I meet Zack's eyes to see him laughing, he's staring right at me, awaiting my reaction. I wish I could contain it, I wish I could hold it back but it's too much. There's too many secrets, too many sides to him and I can't hold it together. My world comes crashing around me, shattering beneath Zack's feet. Harry dares to look at me and I can't bring myself to meet his eyes. I try to convince myself that it's not him, that it's some lookalike, not the man I fell for, but it is, it's all too real.

There's too many secrets, it's all just secrets.

HARRY

When the words come out of his mouth I desperately want to shove them back in. My anger over-boils and my fist flies at him. Before I know it he's on the ground, his laughter erupting from his mouth, the joy he finds in my pain never failing to astound me.

I turn to her with caution, trying to gauge just how much she understood, just how much she knows now. Her eyes are red and watery, the tears streaming down her face. Her fists are balled, her emotions exploding in a fit of anger and exasperation. I know instantly that the tears aren't from sadness but rather anxiousness, not being able to composite herself into a single emotion, it's too much and it's my fault, I caused this.

I move towards her, but she backs away, the tears coming faster and her hesitancy towards me hurting more than any amount of words ever could.

"Jess please-" I say, my voice shakier than I wanted it to be, my hands reaching for her.

"No, don't, you've done enough." She seethes.

She turns away from me, hiccupping through the sobs erupting from her throat as she runs through the front door before I can catch her shirtsleeve. I hear her sobbing through the splintered wood. My hand reaches up and pounds the door, my forehead pressing against the cold wood wishing it was her soft skin.

I listen again for her sniffles and curses for trusting a person like me, but the sounds aren't there. It's silent on the other side of the door and I feel my body finally betraying me. My stomach is knotted a thousand times as an unfamiliar stinging sensation settles in the corners of my eyes.

I feel Niall's hand on my shoulder, giving me a squeeze.

"I'm so sorry man, this is all my fault I told her-"

"Don't." I say, shushing him.

He doesn't speak again but I take small comfort in his hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He asks shakily.

"Yeah I'm fine." I say through gritted teeth, biting my lip to the point of bleeding.

"Do you want me to-"

"No Niall, I just need a minute."

His hand slowly removes itself from my shoulder and I instantly feel cold.

"Okay." He sighs, his voice thick with disappointment.

He turns around to leave me, that's when the tears come. First one, slowly squeezing out of my right eye and sliding down my cheek. It feels so foreign. The glossy vision, the stinging, the dull ache in the pit of my stomach. It's been so long.

She broke me.

I turn around, slowly raising my head on my shoulders to meet Niall's eyes only a few feet away. I see the surprise in his eyes first. The immediate reaction to seeing me crying, something I haven't done in years.

"Go." He says, and I wish I didn't hear him.

The last thing I want to do is go running after her. I'm not supposed to do this. She makes my head hurt in a million ways and my heart beat faster than I've ever known it could. She's a fucking psycho and so am I. We're steady energy, constantly bouncing off each other, feeding off our desperation for one another.

I drag my eyes away from his and rub the backs of my hands against my face. I can feel the heat in my cheeks and the glossiness in my eyes as I open the door and my heart plummets. My eyes land on him outside, holding her in his arms and rubbing his hand up and down her back.

"Of course, you're fucking here right now!" I shout, grabbing Miles by the front of his shirt and yanking him up, all remnants of our amends already forgotten.

"Harry stop it!" She screams, and I can hear the rattle of fear in her voice. I don't dare look at her, she's not going to calm me down now. I look right at him, right through his dreamy little eyes and all I see is fear. He's fucking terrified.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here?" I seethe through my locked jaw.

"I brought her here because she was looking for you! Because you wouldn't answer your goddamn phone!"

"Miles just stop, let's go." She sighs through her steady tears as she grabs his hand and drags him back towards his car.

"Jess?" I ask, my voice cracking on the single syllable.

She looks up from the ground to meet my eyes for only a split second. As if my heart could be any heavier in my chest, it sinks. It kills me to see her like this. Her warm eyes so cold and swirling in hurt. Her posture thrown to the wind, her body collapsing on herself. Her trembling lips, trembling hands, trembling fingers. I've never felt so much weight on my chest.

I made her this way.

"Jess, please-"

She thrusts her arm in front of herself, pushing me away. She won't look at me.

"No Harry, no more, I can't do this anymore." She whispers to the ground, barely audible to me.

Every word feels like daggers in my chest. She can't do this anymore? My windpipe is constricting, I can't fucking breathe. His arm wraps around her shoulders and she leans into him, away from me. Her hostility burns right through me. My chest hurts, I'm going to pass out.

"Come on." He says to her, leading her away from me.

"Wait, please!" I beg.

She walks faster.

"Jess!" I huff, grabbing her arm.

I just need her to look at me.

"Let go!" She yells, ripping herself away from my touch.

Miles ushers her forward too fast. I'm frozen. I can hear the people all around now. Everyone's come out to watch the grand spectacle of our relationship shattering. Everyone's come out see big bad Styles get his heart stomped on.

In seconds he's opening the car door and she's leaning her head against his shoulder. My feet are cemented to the floor. I can't go anywhere, do anything. I only stare at her and torture myself, watching her leave me.

Suddenly I'm beside her, grabbing her by the shoulders and turning her around.

"Look at me!" I yell at her and the tears continue to flow freely down our cheeks.

I'm frantic and shaking, I don't have control over my own body as I reach for her hands in desperation for her touch. She's shying away from me, she doesn't want me.

"Jess, please, just fucking look at me!" I yell, and she lets out a sob that cracks the last whole piece of me, "Baby, please!" I sob, I'm desperate.

Niall is grabbing me by the shirt and dragging me away. Everything is in slow motion and yet happening so fast. She's crying harder now as she watches me, locking eyes with me across the space between us. She's mouthing my name, I would know it from a mile away. My face is wet, and I can't stop the raging hurricane inside me.

"Why?" I yell, loud enough for her to hear, "Why him?"

Everything stops for a moment as she looks to me and opens her mouth with a shaky breath.

"Because you can't be what he is."

[foxghost]

hi here’s another instalment of “I stayed up too late reading 鎮魂, edition chapter 13 - 26

Zhu Hong spends maybe 3 days a month being half snake (anaconda?). She keeps raw sliced meat in the office freezer, thaws it out in the microwave and “eats them like potato chips”

She also has snake pupils and a snake tongue. /this novel has all your monster needs

Zhu Hong: if you’re willing to sleep with me one night, I’d work for free Zhao Yunlan (totally seriously): …really? Zhu Hong: … (can’t believe he’s actually considering it)

The “black cloak envoy” in the show is named one-who-slay-souls in the book, and is exponentially more terrifying

take what prisoners? Send whom to jail? kills all the things

Zhao Yunlan: he’s kind of nice actually, but talks like an academic, uses too many words to say one thing

A “hungry ghost” is a shadow that is thin all over except for the stomach, with a mouth that opens 180 degrees, with arms like a mantis

Shen Wei’s first reaction on seeing it is to pick up a chair and BASH IT UNTIL IT STOPS MOVING

Shen Wei: shocked face that the cat is talking Daqing: Yes right but you just broke the head of a hungry ghost with a chair so why are you even shocked

Guo (repeats in his head): I am a cop Guo: is crying uncontrollably * Guo (to Shen Wei): I haven’t even had my first month’s salary — can’t i even SEE the money I won’t live to spend before i die? Shen Wei says nothing to this because laughing at him is probably improper Guo: Does professor Shen have wishes that has not been fulfilled? Shen Wei: Yes Shen Wei: There is a person, we are mere acquaintances, we have no relationship at all, in his heart, I am but a stranger he has spoken to a couple of times. But I still want to see him once more.

with a hungry ghost scratching at the door and Daqing promising rescue by Yunlan Shen Wei: Don't we have ways to save ourselves? Daqing: this is us — a common person, a garbage person, a vegetative person, and me — a lucky charm. Oh, ‘save ourselves’ you say. Do you think if we go into a hot steam wok, it would be enough to fill the gaps between a hungry ghost’s teeth?

amidst all this chaos, Guo is climbing Shen Wei’s leg bc he’s terrified, and Shen Wei’s priority is to HOLD HIS PANTS UP.

Lin Jing is … a monk? (fake monk, according to Yunlan)

Lin Jing: there are two men and a cat in there Yunlan: no way, Shen Wei wouldn’t abandon his student Lin Jing: … who is this Shen Wei Yunlan: mumbles nobody important Lin Jing: You only ever do that when you meet a beauty — is this Shen Wei a man or a woman? Yunlan: buddhist chant

when the hungry ghost is sucking up all the air + souls in a room, guo screams: I’m going to be sucked up!

and then somehow has the wherewithal to make up metaphors: i’m going to be sucked up like jello from a vacuum bag!

Yunlan cuts the energy between hungry ghost and guo, and guo starts falling — onto Shen Wei. Naturally, Yunlan rushes forward and catches Shen Wei into his arms and let Guo fall on his face

AND HIS FIRST PRIORITY IN THAT SECOND IS TO LOOK COOL

Zhao Yunlan holds onto Shen Wei’s waist and takes a halfstep the the side, and the lighter’s flame illuminates his face — handsome, cool, his features as chiselled as with a blade, gazing from the darkest place yet his pupils reflect the flame He successfully keep this act up like a big bad wolf, lowering his voice and looking into Shen Wei’s eyes, and like a hero protagonist saving a beauty in a movie, he asks quietly: Professor Shen, are you alright? At the same time, he completely ignores the whining intern on the floor.

Yunlan can hypnotise people and change/erase their memories of supernatural events, kind of MiB like

He does this to Shen Wei, carries him (like a bride, bc just before that Shen Wei’s leaning on his shoulder) takes him to his student’s hospital room, make sure he’s comfortably sitting, says a protective spell and EATS HIS TOFU

which is the chinese way of saying he took advantage, kisses the back of Shen Wei’s right hand and says: good night, sleeping beauty

of course, SHEN WEI wasn’t ASLEEP

he ‘saves’ the protective spell and leaves by the second floor window

i guess Shen Wei forgets about being human sometimes, only ghosts come and go by the WINDOW

Guo Changcheng GLOWS to someone who can see (like someone with a third eye) between worlds.

Apparently he’s been using his allowance to do charitable work for YEARS. There is so much merit built up in his ‘books’ he’s practically a saint

Guo Changcheng IS SO PURE

When the slayer arrives, the temperature drops below zero and the windows frost over

he has a black claok, doesn’t wear a mask. His face is just BLACK MIST.

He smells like winter. (and it’s nice?)

… like freshly fallen snow in the morning when one opens the door to it for the first time, that first breath you take on a snowy day — like endless and eternal snow that never melts, clean, yet extremely cold, mixed in with the scent of flowers dying in the frost — far and away, a fragrance like walking to the end of the world. But it’s only for a moment, because after that one’s nose feels frozen and can’t tell any smells apart.

Guo’s explanation in his head for this is: he’s from the southern hemisphere and it’s winter there. (omg)

And then the moment the slayer goes off with YUnlan he starts asking after his health seriously

the slayer is a motherhen (when it comes to yunlan anyway)

he uses the same tone of voice to kill ghosts as he does asking after ppl’s health and Guo thinks this is terrifying (it is)

Li Qian killed her grandmother, none of that heartwarming retconned stuff in the show

the Slayer finds out where the Reincarnation-dial is from Qian and Yunlan follows because he’s curious and finds the place … covered in bodies … of monsters and ghosts that the slayer’s just slain / beheaded.

Yunlan: What’s going on? We’re all responsible for the environment, your honour was only coming here to find a thing, how did this battle happen. tries to step around the bodies but there’s no place to put his feet (what battle? it was a SLAUGHTER)

So it seems Yunlan meeting Shen Wei in this life time was planned by the villain

Chu (old Chu from Zhao, Brother Chu from Guo) is thin as a moving skeleton, about the same age as Lin Jing

And they all slack off in the office MOST OF THE TIME

Yunlan pursues Shen Wei for 3 months, Shen Wei keeps on giving him excuses, the cat makes fun of him mercilessly

Yunlan is eventually reduced to buying a box of old books and stalking Shen Wei with his car on campus until the students are all staring and he has no choice but to knock on the window and asks WHAT ARE YOU DOING

so in the show they made this all about Yunlan being suspicious of him, but there’s none of that in the book, at this point he’s just pursuing the professor shamelessly

Yunlan: this is for you Shen Wei: … opens box No, this is too valuable I can’t take it Yunlan: makes up a bunch of lies my friend’'s emigrating they leave their books behind you take them Shen Wei: I — Yunlan: I what, we’re so familiar already, it’d be unconscionable to say no to keeping the books, see you, let’s have dinner this weekend drives off Shen Wei: is conflicted while suddenly standing on campus holding a heavy box Shen Wei: is happy Yunlan is being so lovely Shen Wei: is jealous that he may be like this with other people

So, Yunlan is an introvert

Yunlan’s heart is a little lazy, hasn’t interest in anything, there’s nothing of import at work right now, and aside from one important networking, occasionally harassing Shen Wei, he spends all his remaining time alone at home.

Yunlan lives in a studio apartment, ‘like a dog’, or ‘neither pig nor dog.’ in other words, MESSY

it’s Yunlan, apparently, that turned his role as ‘guardian’ / command of sealing the spirits(?) into a police department.

Yunlan has ended relationships (or have it ended on him) because he just doesn’t want to talk when he’s home

the reasons are “lack of communication”, “no passion” “Our personalities do not match, we don’t speak the same language” and “You have never loved me”

so he finally gets a date with Shen Wei on Sunday, and on Saturday he gets up at noon, eats bread and water and plays video games until he gets a massive stomachache

he stumbles out the door in his pajamas, a coat, and no socks in his shoes, to get food, and overhears a robbery taking place, and it’s SHEN WEI

they end up getting dinner afterwards and he eats like a starving man until he basically collapses from stomachache

Shen Wei takes him home and they trip over an open umbrella, it hasn’t rained in more than half a month

Shen Wei: Take off your clothes and go to bed Yunlan: But if I do you’ll say i’m improper Shen Wei: What Yunlan: is wearing pajamas under his coat has no socks Shen Wei: blushes Yunlan: shows off his chest You told me to take off my clothes Shen Wei: ZHAO YUNLAN WHY ARE YOU NOT WEARING SOCKS Shen Wei: WHAT HAVE YOU EATEN ALL DAY Yunlan: points at garbage can Shen Wei: the whole day? What’d you eat yesterday Yunlan: dunno, drank too much Shen Wei: Do you live like this everyday??? Yunlan: um, yeah? Shen Wei: about to die of anger

Yunlan, way to impress future husband, high-five

meanwhile, Yunlan’s thinking: he’s never angry, but he’s angry because he’s fallen for me. Because i’m handsome (NO JOKE)

Shen Wei: You’re not so young, and you’re established in your career, this is about time for you to find a girlfriend and make a home, ti’s best to have someone take care of you Yunlan: Are you seriously telling me that you haven’t noticed I’ve been pursuing YOU (looks depressed) Then fine, thank you for today, i’m alright, you can go home (fully expecting Shen Wei to feel sorry enough to come closer, Yunlan has a speech prepared and everything)

BUT HE LEAVES

And comes back the next morning 7am with groceries (gosh i love this trope) and takes care of Yunlan

Yunlan’s kitchen is full of kitchenware with the pricetags still on

Shen Wei preps food and heats his hands over the heater before touching Yunlan

to be precise, he strokes Yunlan’s hair and then kisses his own fingers (excuse the blogger. screams)

He feels as if he is a moth that has realised its fate, holding himself from the flame is painful

Yunlan comes out of his bath (in the afternoon) to find that Shen Wei’s cleaned his apartment, folded away his clothes, aired out his room, and made food

So naturally, he figures now’s the time to PROPOSE because wow he’s found THE ONE

Yunlan: Seriously, if you would agree, I will sell this place tomorrow, and buy a big place near your campus. Yunlan: I never thought about buying a big house before, it seemed like such a burden, but now I understand: if I want a person as my wife, then I must build a gold house to hide them. Shen Wei (thinks he’s making fun of him): Eat your food it’s getting cold Yunlan touches the back of Shen Wei’s hand: Even though it may not seem that way, but I’m perfectly serious

- queue requisite “i’m a man” and “you should have children” talk

Yunlan: I’m not obligated to propagate the earth for the sake of mankind, Teacher Shen, are you an ALIEN???

- Yunlan literally tells him: if you really want children we can get a surrogate, it’s easy enough to have kids when you have money - Shen Wei then refuses to go to a movie with him the next week but it’s because he’ll be out of town for a week and Yunlan counts that as a WIN

back at the office: Zhu Hong: Xiaoguo is a good kid, fast learner, but he’s too cowardly, it took him this long to accept food from me Yunlan: That’s natural, he’s afraid of people Zhu Hong: … Yunlan: He’s not afraid of you, because he obvs doesn’t think you’re people

earthquake news play on television Yunlan: Why wasn’t it a bigger earthquake, I had no my arms open ready to comfort him and everything Zhu Hong: Who’d you seduce this time Yunlan: Don’t make it sound so terrible, spring must come to the world and flowers must bloom, its fragrance cannot be missing romance, you ppl must not insult other people’s pure love Lin Jing: buddhist chant Zhu Hong: HELP.

Wang Zheng suddenly appear in the office during the day (she is a ghost, they dissipate in the light) and everyone rushes to close the blinds and give her incense

Yunlan (takes out cigarette): YOU Wang Zheng (moves backwards): Don’t make me breathe your second-hand smoke. Yunlan: …you’re a ghost, madam Wang Zheng, you’re not going to get lung cancer. Wang Zheng: Ghosts can smell smoke and fire, if you keep doing that, you’re going to turn into a human shaped mosquito incense.

Yunlan calls someone sister-in-law over the phone

Zhu Hong: How come director Song is his sister-in-law? He doesn’t even have a sister Daqing: Who knows, he goes out drinking and gains sister-in-laws (?)

- The ‘red’ threads connecting Yunlan and Shen Wei are myriad and golden (and Shen Wei can see them)

[kdinthecity]

Confessions of a Teenage Sugar Queen: Underwater

Welcome to Day Two of @zutaraweek. Here is the previous chapter from Day One, Chapter 1: Fired Up.

The Memorial Day holiday weekend marks the end of school and beginning of summer. Ozai—excuse me, Mr. Kasai, ever so graciously invited “Azula’s friends” to their family beach house on Ember Island. Dad must not have known we’d all be there without adult supervision, otherwise he’d never agree to this. Especially since Sokka is here with his girlfriend, Suki. Ugh, they are so disgusting together and not even subtle about it! I actually respected her—a cheerleader, taekwondo black belt, honors student who nailed the coveted coast guard internship for the summer. But when I stepped on something cold, wet, and squishy in the bathroom on the first morning of our beach getaway... just, ew.

I know it’s not their first time. And I know people do it, alright? Hell, Jet and I did everything but. I just want it to be special. And with someone I… dare I say it? Love.

Can you fall in love in high school? My rational brain says no. I write about it in my fictional stories, but that’s the only way I’ll entertain the idea. Besides, I have responsibilities. Gran Gran is great at taking care of us, but she isn’t getting any younger. Dad is gone over half the year. Sokka can barely match his own socks much less wash them. And for my junior year, I plan to take college level calculus, chemistry, and political science. I don’t have time for a boyfriend and certainly not any notions of love.

“Zuko was looking for you!” Ty Lee plops down next to me on my beach towel. I had distanced myself from the others, saying I want to work on my “tan.” My skin is dark enough already, so anyone with eyes can see through my outright lie. Even Toph wouldn’t be fooled. Although I swear that girl detects falsehood by the catch in your breath or the rhythm of your heartbeat. Toph teases that she can predict the next earthquake through her feet, but I bet she would feel it before the rest of us do.

It takes a while for Ty Lee's comment to register. Why would Zuko be looking for me? He hasn’t spoken a word to me since we arrived. I’m pissed about this, actually, and two can play the game of cold shouldering.

“He found the surfboards,” Ty Lee continues. “Did you want to surf?”

I do love surfing. Mom taught me. Sokka hates it; the uncoordinated doofus always falls off. But I’m a natural, almost as if I can command the waves. I'll be the bigger person and call a truce on this no-talking thing. Maybe Zuko surfs, too.

He doesn’t.

He doesn’t even like the water! He looks at the ocean like it’s going to swallow him whole. This could put up a serious roadblock in our relationship, I mean—friendship! Gah, we don’t even have that! I’ve spoken exactly 17 words to him. Why do I know? Because I've replayed that stupid encounter in my head, thinking I could have said something much more interesting. It would be a miracle if creepy, sexy scar boy ever talks to me again. Like when he gave me a board, he just grunted. And I took it without saying thank you! I clearly suck monkeyballs at conversation.

“Katara?”

“Hmm?” Get ready for case in point.

“I think I gave you the wrong surfboard.”

All I can think about is how tight my wetsuit feels all of the sudden and how his golden eyes shimmer in the midday sun. Even the half-lidded one is so striking, like his gaze is on fire. Zuko barely says a few words and apparently possesses the power to melt my insides and freeze my brain all at the same time.

“Huh?” Yes, I know. Eloquent.

“I gave you my sister’s board,” Zuko continues, a slight flush rising to his cheeks. “From when she was younger. I didn’t know how experienced you were.”

So… he was watching me. Again.

He shrugs. “Um. Maybe you want to try my mother’s instead?”

My tongue feels thick, but somehow I manage. “Yeah. Sure. That’d be great.”

He hesitates before handing over the board, tracing the rail with long nimble fingers. I don’t recall Azula ever mentioning their mother, so I wonder.

“Don’t worry,” I say. “I’ll take good care of it.”

He simply nods, and while the sadness in his expression is fleeting, it did not go unnoticed.

I distance myself again at the beachside bonfire that night. I much prefer the cool ocean breeze whipping through my hair over the hot stifling smell of burning wood. From my vantage point on a rocky ledge nearby, I can see the group down below. Azula assembles the ingredients for s'mores, taking a little too much pleasure in stabbing marshmallows with long metal skewers.

Sokka and Suki are snuggled up together in the same position they were earlier. With her head tilted back and lips slightly parted, I can only guess what’s going on underneath their blanket. Ewww.

Zuko is wearing a Hawaiian print shirt and handing out lei necklaces of all things. I decide he is much more interesting to watch—so awkward and adorable. He tentatively places the flowers around Ty Lee’s neck, obviously trying to look anywhere besides the cleavage spilling from her bikini top. She gives him a peck on the cheek in response. It’s too dark to tell, but I bet his face has turned as red as our school mascot, the firedragon. I wonder if he knows that Ty Lee is into girls.

Zuko’s sister waves him away. Sokka and Suki are making out now, so he avoids them. He’s obviously searching for someone. Could it be me?

Mai.

That girl has complained nonstop since we got here. She hates the sand. She sunburns too easily. Ocean water makes her eyes sting. Zuko doesn’t pay enough attention to her. Zuko won’t leave her alone! UGH!

He gives her TWO leis. And she fucking rolls her eyes at him. That’s it. I’m going for a walk on the beach.

I don’t know how long it’s been, but I have a tendency to lose track of time when I’m out here close to the water. My element.

Someone clears his throat. If he weren’t so wrapped up in his girlfriend—literally—I’d expect Sokka to start worrying and come find me. But no, this isn’t a concerned sibling visit.

“Missed you at the bonfire,” Zuko says.

“Yeah, sorry. I guess I don’t really like fire. It’s too—” Destructive. “—hot.” My throat feels tight again but not for the same reason as before. My thoughts have been... drifting.

“I like fire. As long as it’s controlled.” His voice is sexy as fuck, but surprisingly I am able to find mine this time.

“Well, anything out of control is a bad thing, right?” Control is everything. That’s why I work so hard to maintain it.

“Makes sense. I don’t really like the ocean for that reason. The waves seem… uncontrollable. Or controlled by a force that we can’t wield.”

Ah, he likes his control, too. “The waves are controlled by the moon,” I say.

“I know, and the moon is untouchable. At least with fire, humans can light it, contain it, and put it out. Y’know?”

“I think I’d trust the moon over a man with a match any day.”

He regards me for a few seconds with those sad, striking eyes of his, then laughs. “Maybe so.”

He turns to leave, and I’m searching my brain for something, anything to say to make him stay. I want to hear him laugh again.

“Oh! I almost forgot.” He’s suddenly back in my field of vision, and he’s closer than ever before. He smells like campfire and chocolate, and I didn’t think it possible, but those eyes are now smoldering. My breath catches as he gently places a lei around my neck; I shudder when warm fingers brush past my left ear.

He’s gone, and I discover this is no cheap party store necklace, either. The flowers are real, and their fragrance is intoxicating. I might feel high for a different reason, though.

“If you don’t like the ocean, then why did you apply for this position?” I’m basically high on two cups of coffee and a cocoa almond flaxseed energy bar. I’ve been anxiously waiting for our internship to start. We’re already on a boat first thing, and Zuko is gripping the side of it for dear life. Hahn immediately and shamelessly attached himself to Yue like a barnacle to a buoy, so it is only Zuko and me positioned here portside.

“It’s for PR,” he replies.

“What?”

He sighs. “Look, you wouldn’t understand.”

I don’t think his knuckles could get any whiter… or his face any greener. I can’t help but worry.

“Are you gonna be OK?” I ask when he’s clearly not.

“Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

“No.”

“Can you maybe… explain? I can try to understand.” I stare at the right side of his face, chiseled and flawless. Admittedly, he’s beautiful. It's my turn to sigh.

His eyes remain fixated on the water below. “OK… it’s for my father’s business. To improve his reputation. It looks good for tech companies to support noble causes, give back to the environment. My father thinks I’m useless as an employee, so this is how he wants me to restore honor to the company name.”

“Oh.”

Even though I am mesmerized by his perfect profile, his statement doesn’t settle well with me at all. Of course, I want the position so it will look good on my college applications, and maybe that's a little selfish and not that much different. But I also care about the important stuff we're doing. Nobody ultimately goes into nonprofit work for personal glory, right? Maybe people do it to feel good about themselves, but somehow I know this is not Zuko's intention in this situation. It won't be fulfilling unless he feels something for it.

“Is that how you see it? As just a job to make your father look good?” I ask.

“Katara… I just need to… survive, OK? I need to graduate, get into a good college, so I can get the hell out of here.”

“But… you’ve got the education position at the Marine Center. How can you teach what you don’t really believe in?”

“I got that position because I have a ton of Future Fire Technology branded freebies to hand out when I go visit places. I’m telling you, Katara. It’s all about PR.”

But it’s not! It’s about speaking truth! And saving lives! And changing minds! That’s what Mom used to…

I can’t look at him anymore. I just can’t. I can only look at our reflections in the water and fight the urge to push him overboard.

What if he can’t swim, though? Is that why he’s afraid?

I look at his pained expression once again, and it seems like he’s already drowning.

The setting is modern day California, specifically Silicon Valley where HS kids are super stressed about stuff like internships because the tech culture is all around them, and Stanford and UC Berkeley are the “local schools.” Ember Island is like Angel Island; it exists solely for recreational purposes. The Marine Science Center is based on two real-life organizations in the Bay Area.

Chapter Three: Steamy  | Chapter Four: The Fall

[familylifescsaping-blog]

12 Reasons To Have A Young Living Business

12 Reasons To Have A YOung Living Business Video

No matter what stage you are at using your essential oils, whether you have yet to use one, or you consider yourself an advanced user, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised by a few of these reasons.  Young Living is a product driven company. Where approximately 92% only buy the product and CHOOSE NOT to take advantage of the business side. That’s an amazing model. It shows people love the product, and keep coming back for more. But with only a $165 investment, you can have an legit business while enjoying your products too.  No need to spend thousands or tens of thousands to set up a business, which have a significantly higher percentage of failure.   Young Living is very family friendly and product focus - it’s not all about getting rich and driving fancy cars. We can have balance as we focus on the products supporting our own wellness as well as the business side too. Let’s face it, when it comes down to it, money can have an impact on families in a huge way. The feeling of not having to worry about how you’re going to pay your electricity bill or having enough to get that something special you’ve been dreaming about for a really long time.  Young Living is all about Wellness, Purpose and Abundance. It all connects. Most people do this to have all their oils and NingXia Red paid for. So, why not increase your pay check so you can buy more items to transform your health.  Some people don’t even realize they can make money while using the products they love!  But you can base it on what you are passionate about, as well as help others - it doesn’t have to be all about the self, as I will now show you as we now explore the 12 reasons about this opportunity…. Recognized Industry Leader With 25 Year History & Proven Growth Record. Young Living has been a leader in essential oils with 25 years under their belt. Their growth has exploded, especially since 2013. Very few understand the detail behind unlocking the power of plants, and that is where Young Living are experts! Knowing how the company started, what it’s been through and its heart is eye opening. 

Their Seed To Seal commitment is unmatched. No one else has the farms they do. The investment the have made in their own farms for the best unadulterated essential oils is worth every penny. You get what you pay for. They are invested in the whole process to ensure YOU get therapeutic products of all kinds. Personal care, baby line, a line for animals, non-toxic cleaning items, non-toxic makeup…the list goes on.  Their essential oils are NOT made in a lab. They are NOT fragrances. Others are cheap imitations to desperately get a cut of this industry that is still growing like CRAZY! So, don’t save money in the short term to spend more in the long term thanks to what others pass off and put in their bottles. Young Living is the industry leader due to the unsurpassed quality they produce, which also makes a biggest positive difference for our bodies. Remember, your essential oils should smell like the actual plant - that’s when you get the most benefits.  Of course, to get the best, there’s a whole science that goes behind the farming and harvesting of the plants, but we’ll save all those details for another time. The point is, many don’t have a clue about what goes behind growing, making and even blending an essential oil for our benefit.  Five New International Markets Over The Next 5 Years. Young Living’s 5 by 5 pledge. 

The company has been global for SO long, but they stepping it up and becoming even more global.  So, the plan is to open 25 new markets in the next 5 years with an additional 5 million members. Recently opened new markets that are already exploding include the Philippines and Mexico. We locations such as South Africa and Brazil opening later this year.  This means less shipping and custom fees for people living in these countries and so these products will be more accessible to them.  This means the growth potential for your business is off the charts.  And to help, we have international Facebook pages and guides in your virtual office to help you with each of these markets. At convention this year I even went into the  International lounge and spoke to several employees at difference offices including Australia and Malaysia. I learned so much and would feel fully confident in the support team members would have in these and other growing markets.  Young Living has well over 600 Consumable Wellness Products For All Ages, Men, Women, Children & Pets I’m not going to sit down and count them all, but I’m positive we have over 700 different products now. 

It truly is a product driven company, which is family friendly. This is very apparent with its non-toxic and practical products that have a focus on health and wellness. I love the difference I’ve seen in my children and husband since they started using the products. Every household has a product or two that they use daily and just can’t live without. Well, that’s definitely the case in this household. This translates to consumable products.  Consumable means repeat customers, which are essential to ANY business. Your bread and butter for you, AND the health and wellness for THEM.  Customer retention is extremely high, which also shows the products work. It’s not a business that’s trying to sell something that really has no use, or something you can’t even see.   Charitable Foundation Impacting Over 250,000 Lives & 170 Projects

Young Living’s D. Gary Young Foundation gives you a glimpse of their heart. And we all can get to be involved too, whether you want to sponsor a child, go and volunteer on a specific project or simply donate to the foundation from the comfort of your own home.  This Foundation, which gives 100% of all proceeds direct to the projects, is also different in other ways compared to other charities. For one, it focuses on empowerment, which is key to long term change. Charities tend to only provide, but instead this foundation provides while also empowering the locals to build for themselves. It’s important to teach, so when outside help isn’t there, they still have the tools and resources to thrive in life. The results are transformative.  Zero Waste Status In Global Operations In The Next 5 Years. This is an official classification for companies, which Young Living is striving towards. It’s not easy! They’ve actually got an award already for their efforts so far. This philosophy means that NOTHING from the first stages of product (so at the farm) all the way to end product and shipping goes to a land fill. So any solid materials that are produced need to be suitable so they can recycled or reused.  It’s about being Earth friendly. 

I’ve mentioned it so many times before, but as Young Living essential oils are all natural and do NOT contain any synthetics, if they are flushed away for some reason they don’t do any harm to the system. I often put Lemon or Purification essential oil in our garage disposal. Isn’t it great knowing you’re not hurting the environment.   The hydro water, which is left over from the distillation process always contains some remaining essential oil, but they use it back on the farm. But if it were to go back down the pipes, it wouldn’t do any harm. It’s so good it’s used as a natural insecticide - one reason why nasty chemicals are not required at their farms.  Even left over plant materials are reused as mulch.  But can you imagine the effort required to make the zero waste status around the world! That’s a company I can get behind.  Generous Reward Trips At Six Rank Levels.

Travel. What a privilege it is still to get to travel!  This is another great reason to build this business. When you reach Silver rank and each rank above for 3 months, you get invited to an all expenses paid retreat.  Experience, farms, partner farms, distilleries. Get pampered on. Meet and mingle with others in the same situation as you, as well as corporate employees. These are personally transformative, and game changers. And you don’t have to pay a penny as you have fun, learn and get inspired. Generous Bonuses & Compensation Plan. Many shy away from the opportunity for residue income, but that’s normally because they don’t really understand its meaning. But all you have to do is ask me, and I can take you through that in as much detail as you want. 

The industry average is to pay out around 38%-42% in commissions, but Young living pays out 50%. That’s a great payout.  Mary Young wrote the compensation plan several years back. Back in the day she used to be in a network marketing company, so understands what it’s like to be in our shoes. She had the plan reviewed and was told that it’s one of the best and most generous plans that was actually sustainable. So, the company won’t go broke on it.  The foundation of any company is essential! I’ve even been in other companies where their business model wasn’t sustainable, both in direct sales, and in the corporate world. Jumping on the newest trend, for the majority of the time,  isn’t a good thing.   If you’ve seen the compensation plan, including all the bonuses and you feel totally lost. Don’t worry. There are videos and books I can direct you to that lay it out in simple chunks. Bottom line….there is huge potential and you can easily make it all the way to the top long before I do! And I’ll even introduce you to the current leaders to teach you how. Ongoing Support And Training Young Living is constantly improving their resources to help us. They have a frequently updated blog called: The Lavender Life. It has a variety of useful topics, and I highly recommend it.  There are numerous Facebook groups, which are focused around either business (for all rank levels) or products, for you to learn from daily. I will tell you about these when you tell me you’re ready for them. 

And of course there is your own Virtual Office, which you get the second you get your own Young Living Membership. It’s full of education and news. If there’s something specific you’re after and can’t find. Ask me, or another member of the team.   Willable Residual Income. This is HUGE! Anyone over 18 can take over an account if someone dies. You can protect you own account for your children, or someone else, so you don’t have to worry about their future financially. You can even now inherit an account AND have your own account too. Residue income that keeps coming. What company does that? 

If you understand residue income, then you know this itself is a fabulous perk that truly changes lives!  No Inventory To Keep Or Deliver. You do NOT need to store, or stock pile product. There’s no requirement to have an empty garage to store all your product.  Of course, as you use the product you’ll fall in love and want to keep extra favorites for yourself. But that’s a person issue.  

Basically, you only need $165 for a legit business. There are other even cheaper options, but this is the most popular one.  Any of the team can take you through what’s best for you personally! Ready To Share Resources. When you’re ready to share, there are multiple resources for you, no matter your style, or the way you want to build your own business. 

First up check out the YL Share App. It’s free and a great way to share information - all you need is your own Young Living account.  There are too many websites out there selling handouts and brochures, which is great so you don’t have to create your own. However, if you need help sifting through all the options, I have no problem helping you with that.  Over the years I’ve collected so many different options, and I’ll love to show you what I prefer.  One thing I’ve learned. Make it simple for yourself. Use what’s already out for us.  For example, a cross line member, which is a Young Living member in a different team, created these graphics for us to use tonight. Team Young Living rocks!.  Set Your Own Hours & Work From Anywhere.

This ONE is extremely important to me. I can work at my own pace and location as everything is on my phone. This means I can put my family first. I spend more time with family and friends than I would in ANY corporate job, and this is key as I homeschool my three little girls and my husband is far from working the typical 9-5 schedule.  I also get to be in a community full of passionate entrepreneurs. And we all get to do this business in a way that suits us personally.  It’s family friendly. You can make an income with balance and integrity. My family always come first, and I don’t stop earning because I’m on vacation. Many people, when they actually start this business, do it on a part time basis. Here’s A quick overview of what we covered,

But for me personally, I would also add several more, which we could go into more detail in a moment during question time if you would like: You get to be your own boss.You get to help and love on others.You develop deep friendships.There’s no commute. Your journey is fully of personal development. As mentioned, there’s an extremely low cost of investment.No required monthly minimums (only 100pv if you’re building, but that’s easily paid back in commissions, as you can see from the public income disclosure statement).You get to wear what you want every day. You can be stay at home parent, or do this while working a full time job. There are NO minimum sales. No pressure. You get to work with the people you want to. You can even take your kids with you if you go to an event. There are so many online events and support, you don’t need a local team. You can be located anywhere!If you’re a health & wellness professional, it’s a great way to increase your customer base. And of course, tax write offs.   What I also love: One size does NOT fit all. Do this business in a way that feels good to you. It can  even be different from your direct upline. But be committed to finding YOUR way. You may not have all the answers up front. But you can figure it out. Step outside comfort zone - it’s worth it. And you’re NOT alone! By marrying fabulous products with the business side keeps you in balance. And you get to have an impact on your community and beyond.  It truly is more than just the paycheck… it’s about the people. 

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[bonniejstarks]

BLACK FRIDAY BEAUTY SALES TO MAKE YOUR WALLET…SING? SOB?

Image borrowed from Getty Images until I can find another

According to the Retail Council of Canada, 43% of Canadians are planning to purchase something on this borrowed-from-the-USA day, Black Friday. It’s also the biggest shopping day of the year in Canada, and although its craziness makes me want to stay in bed, it makes so much freaking sense: it’s exactly the right time to do all your holiday shopping. Not only does it mean you save on gift-giving, you’ve got a month if you need to return or exchange anything. (Props for knowing all that already, US-based friends!)

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Actually, if you’re Canadian, has this all-in-on-Black-Friday phenomenon fully caught on with you? Have you shifted your holiday shopping habits to participate? Or, as is for many of us with Boxing Day sales (apparently 34% of Canadians expect to shop those), is this retail extravaganza more about stocking up on necessities with a side of luxuries-at-a-discount?

And just for fun, did you know that for the last seven years NASA’s nod to Black Friday has been “Black Hole Friday,” a day of sharing black-hole images and info?

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where to shop black-friday beauty

Some of these sales are Friday specific, but many will go through into Cyber Monday, whether they say so now or announce it on the weekend, so it’s worth checking the sites again for more deals at the start of the week. (So many of us shop online now… do we really even NEED Cyber Monday any more?)

AMAZON CANADA has all kinds of Black Friday deals as they always have on Black Friday, and they’ll definitely have Cyber Monday sales as well. But I find the site so frustrating to navigate that I just look for what I want, and if it isn’t on sale, I don’t buy it right away. That said, I did notice that this year the Philips DiamondClean Classic Rechargeable Electric Toothbrushe ($139.99 CAD at amazon.ca) is $100 off – that’s a 42% discount, and pretty amazing. I’ve had one of these toothbrushes for years (it’s still going strong) and I love it.

Of note is that Amazon Canada is helping the Toronto Fire Fighter’s Toy Drive and the Children’s Aid Foundation of Canada by facilitating the no-effort donation of gifts and toys to less fortunate kids this holiday season. While you shop, stop on this page to select the charity and something to purchase as a donation. Easy!

BITE BEAUTY is continuing with their 75%-off business, except for Black Friday it’s a sitewide discount with the code BLACKFRIDAY. They’ve also added a 5-piece GWP (with a great lip-print zippered pouch) for orders that hit $40 or more.

The Body Shop and The Body Shop Canada – no advent calendars, but there’s a Black Friday tote…

THE BODY SHOP is offering 40% off everything (except holiday gift sets) in store and online; holiday gift sets are 25% off. And no, you won’t snag an advent calendar, unfortunately. They’re all sold out on the Canadian and US websites. However, do check out the Black Friday Tote ($49 CAD and $49 USD at thebodyshop.com), which is stuffed with $141 CAD/$128 USD-worth of stuff.

CHARLOTTE TILBURY has added new products to the 30%-off sale on the brand’s website. Many are sets, duos or trios; a couple of them include four or five items. Also on sale is a variety of accessories, including cel phone cases and totes.

DYSON CANADA is offering free accessories and (in Canada) a very cool stand with each Dyson Supersonic ($499.99 CAD at dysoncanada.com and $399.99 USD at dyson.com) purchase through December 2nd. Specifically for Black Friday weekend, Dyson is also offering up to $200 CAD/$250 USD off certain vacuum cleaners, fans and humidifiers.

GLOSSIER is offering 20% off all the things, and up to 35% off all its sets. I mention it because I want to try Brow Flick ($22 CAD and $18 USD at glossier.com) and may already have put a Black and a Brown in a virtual cart. (Yes, it’s much more expensive than the Ardell Stroke-A-Brow Pens, but Glossier won’t charge shipping if I spend more than $40. Shipping from Sally Beauty Supply in the US makes my Ardell expenses about the same as my potential Glossier spend. At least that’s what I’m telling myself today, because the Glossier discount means I have to buy a third item or pay $8 CAD to get free shipping.)

INDEED LABS is offering 50% off everything online until midnight, no code required. Worth trying if you aren’t familiar is Hydraluron hydrating serum (I’ve been a fan since it first came out); Exfoliator II Facial Powder Exfoliant (powder with a decent amount of biodegradeable scrubby ingredients), a new formula that replaces the previous version that contained microbeads; and the Hydraluron+ Volumising Lip Treatment, one of my favourite lip balms.

IT COSMETICS is more generously offering 25% off with the code FRIDAY2019 on its Canadian site; spend $100 or more and you’ll get four new samples worth $64 CAD. In the US, the brand is offering 20% off with the code THANKFUL. The It Cosmetics CC+ Cream SPF 50 (comes in 12 shades now) is still my top go-to for foundation. I know a few lovely friends of Beautygeeks experience disappointing on-skin oxidization with this formula, but it stays pretty true on me and always, always makes people think I have a nice complexion.

Shoppers Drug Mart Black Friday beauty deals

NYX COSMETICS in Canada and the USA is offering 30% off everything online (except holiday stuff) and 50% of select items, plus a GWP of mini lip colour, mascara and makeup sponge when you hit $40.

L’OCCITANE is featuring 50% off their two Doorbuster Beauty Sets: each set of six travel sizes comes with a very pretty zippered case, all for $25. Gift sets appear to be 30% off, too. On top of that, if you spend more than $100, you score a gift-worthy 7-piece Beauty Essentials set, and if you spend more than $190, you’ll get instead an even-more-gift-worthy upgraded Bestsellers set.

RIVERSOL is a Canadian, pH-balanced and fragrance-free skincare line designed by dermatologist Jason Rivers for people with rosacea. Details on the line and its key ingredients plus info on how to get a free 10-day trial kit are in this post. If you’ve tried the products and like them, you need to know that until midnight you’ll save 30% on your next order if you use the code 2R83CT7S​. The site serves Canada and the USA; shipping is free when you spend $69 or more.

SALLY BEAUTY is offering a bunch of different ways to save, including deals you’ll get with the use of various numeric codes; I find it a bit dizzying, actually. I only buy Ardell Stroke-A-Brow pens there because shipping-to-Canada costs sting so much. (Haven’t found a Canadian online retailer yet. Probably worth checking on now…)

SEPHORA Canada has a variety of little sets available for $25 or less each, plus an up-to-50%-off sale section that hopefully is as robust as it looks (if only you could tell without clicking on the image whether something is sold out!). The Lanolin 101 Ointment Fruities Duo ($22 CAD at sephora.com; not available as a duo in the US) is great; the formula is lanolin + lanolin oil so it’s a bit less sticky than pure lanolin, and worth trying if you’re currently traumatized over the tragic demise of Bite Beauty Agave Lip Mask (R.I.P.).

SEPHORA in the US has a $15-sets thing, plus the up-to-50%-off sale section.

SHOPPERS DRUG MART applies only to Canadians – apologies to our US-based friends. But they’ve got good stuff and they’re everywhere here, so it’s worth mentioning that with a spend of $75 or more on makeup, skincare or fragrance, you’ll get 20X the PC Optimum points. The rest is a variety of deals specific either to the brands or to particular products. For instance, there’s a 25% discount on Clarisonic tools – it’s a great time to buy the Mia Smart, my fave because it fits the Clarisonic massage-head. (I only use my Clarisonic Mia Smart for facial massage.) As well, you’ll find a Biotherm 24-day Beauty Advent Calendar that is now $79 CAD, down $20 (value $225CAD).

ULTA is another one that offers a whack of ways to save on Black Friday. It also carries the Ardell brow pens I like; I don’t know why I’m not buying them here. Oh wait, I remember: they were out of one of the shades I wanted, Soft Black or Medium Brown. *curses*

Vichy Mineral 89 is on sale at vichy.ca right this minute

VICHY CANADA is included here because I’m so fond of Vichy Mineral 89. The sale is $25% off sitewide with the code FRIDAY, plus you’ll get a 9-piece gift worth $91 and free shipping if you hit or pass the $75-mark. As for Vichy Mineral 89, the 50 mL ($29.96 CAD down from $35.95) and the 75 mL ($37.46 CAD, down from $49.95 CAD) are both on sale. Today only.

VICHY in the US offers a personalized 5-piece GWP + free shipping with a $49 USD spend.

WELL.CA offers 75% off more than 1000 items, and various deals on various products, including a 30 mL Consonant HydrExtreme Hydration Booster ($64.80 down from $72) and a Consonant Skin Renewal Set ($26.38 at well.ca) worth $70. Damn, I wish they carried Ardell Stroke A Brow pens! They ship to the US, btw, free over a certain amount.

over to you

Are you shopping or have you shopped today? Online or in person?

Did you hit any beauty sites that I haven’t included here?

shoppity shop-shop

affiliatelinks✓ *dysoncanada.com, itcosmetics.com, sallybeauty.com (today) and shoppersdrugmart.com are non-affiliate links ©2019BEAUTYGEEKS imabeautygeek.com

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[cakesandcries]

Online shopping for (most) women is nothing short of a blessing. Well, at least I feel this way and I can explain why. It’s like taking an enjoyable trip to a mall, strolling around and not feeling weirdly embarrassed about entering a store without spending money. Picture this- easy shopping on your laptop while sitting in your comfiest pj’s, unkempt hair framing your face and binging on snacks. Sounds like a regular weekend, huh?

To add to this mix, I only shop within a budget and I consider any item above $50 a luxury. So when I landed on shopmissa.com for the very first time, I was hooked.

Here’s why I ended up doing an online shopping haul TWICE on this first online one dollar store–

a. The price point- most items are a dollar, as promised to buyers. Some bundled sets cost more. Their new pop up shop called a2o lab sells products that cost more than $1, but less than $10.

b. They offer a variety of makeup, jewellery, hair accessories, mobile phone cases, socks, underwear (!), sunglasses, scarves and so much more. And you spend only a dollar per item- that’s just dope!

c. You can be sure they are reliable. No scams such as taking your money and not shipping your products to you. They deliver what they promise you when you decide to shop with them- cheap and good quality stuff.

2 things to know before you decide to buy on shopmissa.com:

You are charged with a shipping rate of $3.95 for any purchases below $35. Anything above that price point and you get free shipping.

Your items take about 2 weeks to reach you, because their processing time takes a while.

NOTE: This post is not sponsored and does not have any affiliate links. If it changes, I will definitely mention it.

I am breaking down the list of 15 products I got into three categories-

Cosmetics

Jewellery

Miscellaneous

After a suggestion from one of my followers, I decided to break this into a two-part blog post for easier reading. That said, let me go on to PART ONE of my haul and review of shopmissa.com. May the (shopping) force be with you!

COSMETICS/MAKEUP

I bought 8 cosmetic products from shopmissa.com, which I have listed below.

The 10-Piece Hi-DEF Brush Set + Brush Roll:

  I was looking for some kabuki face and eye makeup brushes, and something cheap that would come as a set instead of getting individual ones (lazy much). Kabuki makeup brushes, according to me, pack in an even, well-brushed out coverage. And I hit jackpot with these kabuki makeup brushes from shopmissa!

There are 5 face brushes and 5 eye brushes (but no eyebrow brush). I use the brushes for applying both liquid and powder makeup products, such as- BB cream, eyeshadow, bronzer, blush, highlighter and concealer.

PROS:

They cost $10 for 10 brushes and have the softest, most dense fibers ever!

The brush fibers are vegan.

They come with a vegan, faux leather brush case which rolls up. So handy for travelling!

They don’t shed. I have been using them for a month now and they perform so well.

CONS:

The eye brushes seem a little repetitive. An eyebrow brush being included would have made it better.

RATING: 4.5/5

2. Amuse Nude Matte Eyeshadow Palette (SOLD OUT) – Color 2

I’ll be honest with you- I am not a fan of this eyeshadow palette. It isn’t all that pigmented, it is chalky to the touch, fades away within hours of wearing and yes, has a lot of fallout. But there is one particular shade I like in the palette that I use everyday, and it is the mauve one. It has a very neutral look, and plays to the current pinkish mauve makeup trend. I wouldn’t recommend this item.

RATING: 2.5/5

3. Kleancolor Brows Essential Kit-Ash Brown

The right side is filled in with the brow powder.

Let me state one thing clearly- I am completely new to the whole eyebrow game. I was seeing people doing these beautifully arched eyebrows all over Youtube and Instagram but I wasn’t interested. Till this year, when I decided to give it a whirl- trying the eyebrow trend, that is.

OK enough about me. This brow powder from Kleancolor is a total steal for a dollar, and should be one of the eight wonders of the world.

PROS:

The brow powder is soft, goes on so smooth and easy, and has the perfect amount of pigmentation so that you don’t have to go over again and again.

Comes with 3 eyebrow stencils, so that you can match it to your brows and fill in.

Long lasting product, and can easily be used for more than 3 months.

Stays put on the brows and doesn’t move at all. I have clocked in about 6+ hours of wear with this brow powder.

Matches my medium fair, blackish brown hair and warm yellow undertone.

CONS:

The brush is of very poor quality. I would suggest using another angled brush instead.

RATING: 5/5

4. Beauty Treats Bunny Lip Balm

I got it in the variant “Mint Nude”, which does not have a color. There are two other color options, pink and purple. I got the nude one because I wanted a chapstick that I could wear  underneath matte lipsticks.

PROS:

Moisturizes well.

Non-sticky, and can be used under matte lipsticks for hydration.

Cute packaging! The cap is sturdy, does not slide away and create a mess in the bag.

CONS:

It dries out a little over time, especially during harsh winters.

RATING: 4.5/5

5. Beauty Treats Fruit Lip Scrub-Strawberry

Thanks to winters in Seattle, my lips have been very chapped. And you know how dry lips look with lipstick on them, right? Enter the fruit lip scrub from Beauty Treats. It is a life-saver, to put it in a few words.

PROS:

Totally scrubs away the dead skin after 2-3 minutes of gently rubbing it against lips. The end result is soft and smooth lips, just the way it should be.

Smells and even tastes good. ( I didn’t eat it on purpose, I swear!)

CONS:

The smooth effect stays on for about a day, after which the dryness starts to come back again. I use this lip scrub about twice a week.

RATING: 4.5/5

6. AOA 2 Piece Eyebrow Razor Set

This set comes with two razors, one for trimming small rogue hair growing on the upper part of the brows. I have not used the bigger one yet, but I think it can be used for trimming your upper lip area and bikini line too (the webpage says so as well).

PROS:

It is easy to use and precise for trimming fine and small hair.

It does not hurt all that much. Probably you feel like a tiny sensation of burning when you keep repeatedly running the razor over an area.

It comes with a brow brush on a safety guard, so that the sharp blade is not left open to rust and for nicks on the skin.

CONS:

None.

RATING: 5/5

7. AOA Wonder Blender-Black Beveled

Apparently, you’ve got to change your makeup sponge every 1 to 3 months. Ain’t nobody got the time for that! So as a backup sponge for my real techniques sponge, I got this black one from AOA studio. It is on the larger side, has a flat side for blending product around the under-eye area and is not hard. It also doesn’t grow larger after you soak it in water for a few seconds.

PROS:

Blends liquid products well, giving a natural look.

The flat side gives it a smooth, even finish.

CONS:

The sponge tends to absorb a lot of product.

RATING: 4.5/5

8. Honey Bee Wax Lip Balm (SOLD OUT)

I think I found the perfect lip balm, ever. And it’s this honey bee wax lip balm from Rich On. I have not used the Burt’s Bees one, so I cannot compare to it.

PROS:

Super smooth application.

Hydrates really well, and leaves behind a slightly glossy finish.

CONS:

None.

RATING: 5/5

9. Beauty Treats Vanilla Lip Scrub

When I went through the reviews for this particular pot of this lip scrub, everyone was clamoring for a restock. I was curious to see if it was as good as the reviews it scored, and ordered the vanilla flavored one. And here’s what I gotta say-

PROS:

It has a mild, buttery scent. It won’t irritate those with a sensitivity towards fragrance.

It has a fine, grainy texture that spreads evenly on the lips.

CONS:

You have to use it twice to get the dead skin off the lips.

The texture is hard, and you have to swirl your finger a bit to warm it up.

The beauty treats lip scrub (above) in a tube formulation is way better.

RATING:3/5

_________________________________________________________________

This is only the first part of my shopmissa.com haul, debuting some of the cosmetic items I got for supremely money-saving price tags. The second part of my haul will be up soon, but you can read my previous posts till then here and here.

Do let me know down in the comments if you’ve visited shopmissa’s site or are planning to buy something there. I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. :)

If you want to know what’s coming up next, do subscribe via email and follow me on WordPress. I promise, I don’t bite! ;)

One dollar online shopping spree! PART 1-Shopmissa review and haul. Online shopping for (most) women is nothing short of a blessing. Well, at least I feel this way and I can explain why.