#fr what is that title tho. why did i do this to myself

[biscuityskies]

to catch a fallen star, to hold it in your hands

"Does it bother you at all?" Cody asks, slipping an arm around Obi-Wan’s waist and pressing a sleepy kiss to the underside of his jaw. "The blue sometimes going away." As Obi-Wan looks himself over in the mirror, the surface level changes pale in comparison to the gold of his eyes. He tugs down the stark white robes and wraps a jet black belt around his waist, clips his saber to it. Golden eyes meet brown in the mirror as he leans back into his lover’s touch. "No," he says simply, a smile on his lips. "It reminds me that I have you." 

for day 5 of @codywanweek! this covers both Sith AU and established relationship >:)

[azzifuddfanpage]

waves crashing

————

title creds @ldapper

Amazing prompt by 🥖anon here! 6.6k words

tw: smut

themes: dating/ angst/ fluff/ smut

————

Day before graduation

———

p💗: hiiii Azzi 

Az💗: hi baby

P💗: watcha doin? 

        Wishin I was wit u rn fr 

        I know it’s only been a few days but feels like forever 

Az 💗: I know baby I miss u so much too 

          How did we ever do long distance??

P💗: I’m never letting u go home by urself again 

Az💗: I know P I’m sorry 😞 

          I’ll see u Tom for graduation tho! 

P💗: ayyyy and then cruise

        Can’t wait to have my girl alone ifykwim 

Az💗: fuck I was gonna tell you something but I forgot now cuz miss u so bad istg im already wet

P💗: not surprised 🤷‍♀️ 

        (I need you so bad) 

A💗: check snap then 😉

P💗: AZZI ICE IS NEXT TO ME

       Had to save it so I could look at it privately 

Az💗: oh ya? What r u going to be doing when u look at it “privately” 😼

P💗: finna touch myself too it that’s for sure

        Need to see u in that new set in person

       Bring it to the cruise baby…

Az💗: woah what r u gonna do if I don’t 😩

P💗: oh you don’t wanna do that trust 

        be a good girl and listen 

Az💗: alright mommy 

P💗: BEUH

Az💗 I’m sorry u were asking for it with the “good girl” 

P💗: don’t act like u didn’t like it

Az💗: 🤭

P💗: I miss u so bad 

        Wish I was in u were in my bed rn 

Az💗: same

P💗: btw ur mom sent me photos of u today 

        Why she my literal plug 😭 

Az 💗: BRO GET OUT 

           Did she violate me 

P💗: that is actually impossible I fear 

        Ur too cute 

Az💗: ur cute 

P 💗: gonna be a lot cuter when ur in that tight bikini on the cruise 

Az💗: I don’t know how tight it will be if my literary family will be present 😭 

P💗: fine guess I’ll just have to take advantage of my time in the room 

Az💗: PAIGE!

P💗: ptpom? And cuddle? 

Az💗: I’m just gonna ignore that first one 

         (If ur good) 

P💗: alright now who’s the good girl 

Az💗: I guess we will have to wait and see 

         Omg I didn’t realize how late u kept me up

         I’m going to bed 

P💗: alright big head I’m so proud of u for graduating in 3 

       My academic weapon 💗

       Good night baby I love you 

Az💗: same baby

         Can’t believe u managed to actually graduate on time when ur illiterate 

        I love you too P 

        good night 

P💗: lowkey love you a little less after that

Az💗: 😐

P💗: kidding 💗💗💗💗

———

“Azzi you coming?” Aliyah’s voice echoed through the dorm. 

“Ya one second, I just feel like I’m forgetting something.” Azzi replied, scanning the room before adjusting her little black dress and fluffing her hair in the mirror.

It was only a few hours after graduation, and Azzi was going out to a grad party with Aliyah and some of the other girls in her communications class. 

Azzi had just gotten into the car when all of a sudden her phone chimed.

——

While Azzi was getting ready for the party, Paige had completely set up her dorm room in candles and Azzi’s favorite flowers to celebrate their graduation and especially Azzi graduating in 3. 

Paige was amazed by her girlfriend every day, but this was just a whole new level of adoration. 

Paige had finally finished setting up, after going right home after graduation. 

She had just assumed her and Azzi would have hung out afterward, she didn’t really feel the need to confirm. 

But when Azzi didn’t show up after 30 minutes of waiting, she started to get a little confused. 

She knew that Aliyah was going to a party with some of the other graduates, but parties had never really been Azzi’s thing, and Paige had assumed that Azzi would have told her if she was going. 

——

Back in the car, Azzi checks her phone. 

         —2 missed calls from p 💗 and 2 texts—

P💗: wya 😼

        U on ur way?

Az💗: I didn’t realize we had plans?

         I was going with Aliyah to that grad party 

P💗: wow alr 

Az💗: p? 

         I’m sorry? Like I didn’t realize u wanted to do something

P💗: it’s fine whatever 

       I just don’t get why u were all talking about how much u missed me last night and are surprised when I’m upset u didn’t come over.

       Like I thot it was mutual but ig not 

Az💗: ofc I want to see u, I can come over later!

         I’m sorry baby I thought I told you that I was going to the party, I knew I was forgetting something yesterday fuck.

P💗: it’s whatever don’t come over come over idrc 

       Have fun

Az💗: p come on wtf? It’s not that big of a deal, I just forgot to tell u 

         I still wanna see u 

         I miss u 

P💗: clearly not enough 

       Bye Azzi 

       I’ll talk to u later 

Az: paige come on don’t do this

      It was a mistake 

     Why do u have to stress me out like this I wanna see u 

    Seriously this is stupid 

                         —— read by P💗 ——

Az💗: really paige?

         I get that I made a mistake but it’s not like we had actual plans like come on

P💗: fuck az I said idc

Az 💗: why r u being like this 

          Like why r u tryna make me feel guilty 

          I said I’m sorry 

P💗: im not even doing nothing 😂😂?? 

        Just have fun

Az💗: paige u KNOW damn well ur making me upset 

         Like how am I gonna have fucking fun with u mad at me 

P💗: I don’t wanna fight with u

        I alr said I don’t care 

        Stop being dramatic and let it go

Az 💗: p ur being mean and unfair right now

P💗: I’m going to bed, take it how ever u want but stop texting me so I can sleep.

Az💗: alright paige I’m sorry 

         I never meant to hurt u

         I can���t come over later? I love you.

P💗: nah I’m all set Azzi. 

                      —— read by Azzi——

Azzi felt her heart sink as she shut off her phone. How was she supposed to celebrate when all she could think of was paige. 

————

When Azzi woke up, she felt hollow.

She turned to her side feeling the emptiness of the bed where the blonde lump usually laid. 

The bed felt cold without her in it.

Azzi’s head was pounding as she reached for her phone, rereading the entire conversation searching for where it went wrong.

She read it three times before sitting up and setting it on her side table.

She had really thought Paige would have texted her before she woke up. Apologizing for overreacting but she was really mad clearly.

At first Azzi felt horrible. 

The guilt was strong in her mind. She threw on a pair of Paige’s sweat pants and one of her team USA t-shirts and decided to go for a run to clear her mind.

As the morning stretched to afternoon, Azzi felt her guilt turn to anger.

She was pissed at Paige for not only ruining her graduation night, but for not even caring enough to text her the next day. And she had the audacity to get mad at her for “not caring.” 

By 3:00 Azzi was getting stressed. She had showered, even finished one of the books she was reading, but the suitcases by her door lay waiting for her in question.

Azzi and Paige had to leave for their cruise by 4:30 to get there by 8 yet still no text. 

Were they even going at this point?

By 4, Azzi was just about to text Paige when she heard her phone buzz.

———

P💗: I’m leaving in 15 to pick u up 

                     —— read by Az💗 ——

P💗: baby? 

        Is that ok?

Az💗: yup see u then 👍 

P💗: bruh 

Az💗: don’t call me bruh paige 

P💗: why r u dragging this out?

Az💗: u can’t be serious rn?

         U haven’t texted me all day.

         I have been sitting by my phone since literally ur last text waiting to see if u would text me yet nothing

        Like I made one fucking mistake and ur telling me im fucking dragging this out??

P💗: ur forgot we basically made plans i'm sorry i was upset 

Az💗: i get that u were upset, but I apologized and wanted to come over

         I didn’t even end up going to the stupid party and we both spent it alone cuz you were mad. 

          Like if u weren’t so damn stubborn this could have been prevented.

         U were a different person I didn’t even recognize u 

P💗: baby u know I love you come on 

       Stop with that

Az💗: ya I know P but u can’t just shut me out over something like that it’s not fair.

P💗: okay let’s just talk about it in the car bro

       I’m leaving now 

Az💗: istg paige if u call me bro one more time I will make u change rooms 

P💗: nah no way u change rooms 

Az💗: hah if u still think we are fucking ur gonna be really disappointed

P💗: ya we will see 😂

Az💗: I’m literally not even gonna sleep in the same bed as u at this point

         Like have fun by urself, hopefully they have a couch or u will be on the floor.

P💗: whatever u say baby

———

Azzi watched as paige’s car pulled into the driveway.

——

P💗: here

Az💗: I’m coming asshole 

P💗: damn really not giving up on this are u?

                   —— read by Az💗 ——

Azzi wobbled out to the car with her suitcase.

Paige watched, getting out of her car, opening the door for Azzi and taking her bag.

Azzi rolled her eyes at her but obliged, letting Paige put her bag in the trunk.

Paige felt a smirk curl onto her lips. She knew Azzi was upset but she couldn’t help herself but think about how good their makeup sex would be now that there was all this tension-not that Paige wanted any of this to happen, she hated when Azzi was upset.

When Paige finally joined Azzi in the car after cramming all the stuff in the car, she handed Azzi her unicorn neck pillow. 

“Thanks” Azzi said shortly, tugging it around her neck and leaning to look out the window away from paige.

“Do you have the stuff for your knee?” Paige asked, going through a list she made on her phone of things Azzi can’t forget.

“What about your compression sleeve?” She continued.

“I have everything Paige we can just go.” Azzi sighed, shutting her eyes and rubbing her temples as if to say Paige was giving her a headache. 

Paige smirked at the sight of her girlfriend, and her eyes made their way down to her bare thighs. She watches as Azzi lets her legs stretch out, her quads contracting and relaxing as she did. 

Azzi could feel Paige's eyes on her. 

“I'm not gonna talk to you Paige.” Azzi said even though her heart fluttered knowing Paige was looking at her. 

“Fine by me.” Paige said pressing play on her music letting “Love Language” by Sza fill the silence of the car. 

The two sat there not talking while Paige drove for the first hour. Azzi kept her eyes glued to the window, avoiding eye contact, as if the passing shapes were the interesting things in the world. Azzi refused to be the first to give in. 

An hour later, Azzi lets herself glance over to Paige who was focused on the road. 

Azzi felt herself relax at the sight of her girlfriends familiar features, the sharp angle of her jaw, the softness of her blonde hair, the way her eyes glistened under the light of the setting sun. Azzi could smell the tension on her, but she looked away before her glance could be considered staring. 

Immediately after looking back towards her spot on the window, she regretted taking that glance as the ache between her legs, that had been unfulfilled since the few days her girlfriend had been absent, grew.

Ironically, Paige too was feeling the heat of the moment. Every glance she would steal at Azzi was filled with pure desire and need. All the anger from last night had converted into something more charged, and when Paige got worked up well… 

After another 30 minutes of the car ride, Paige glanced over at Azzi who had fallen asleep, her mouth slightly open and her head tilted back. 

Paige’s heart melted seeing her girlfriend in such an innocent vulnerable moment. Paige loved waking up to Azzi’s sleeping face, and not seeing her the past few days made this moment all that much more meaningful. Paige moves her hand over to brush one of Azzi's curls out of her face, letting the pureness of her beauty sink in. 

With only an hour left in the car ride, Azzi wakes up a little disoriented, forgetting where she was. She looks around and her eyes immediately find Paige, bringing her complete comfort. She feels a pang of guilt at the idea that her girlfriend is probably tired too after driving the full way, but the guilt turns back to annoyance when she realizes she still hasn’t gotten an apology yet. 

Not wanting to give in just yet, Azzi decides to send Paige a quick text. 

Az💗: hi

Paige saw Azzi’s name pop up on her CarPlay, she glanced over to Azzi who was still looking out the window ignoring her. 

When they pull up to the red light, Paige checks her phone. 

P💗: hi

Az💗: i don’t forgive u 

          That’s why i'm texting you, so u can’t bring this up out loud but 

          I miss u 

P💗: I miss u too baby

Az💗: really? I thot u were mad still 

P💗: how could I possibly stay mad at such a pretty face

————

Azzi felt a blush reach her face at paige’s message

————

Az💗: well I’m not done being mad at u yet

          But I’m pausing so I can text u

P💗: it’s okay baby u are holding up very well

       U look very pretty right now too btw

Az💗: you look pretty too. 

          Like that shirt on u

P💗: what’s new 🤷‍♀️ 

         Also I got u a grad gift

         It’s a surprise tho

Az💗: stop im supposed to me mad at u rn 

P💗: hah and yet ur wet instead

Az💗: enough

P💗: So do you forgive me?

Az💗: no

———

The light changed back to green and Azzi put her phone back in the side door. 

Paige began cooking up a way to get Azzi to forgive her. 

Without removing her eyes from the road, Paige reached next to her side and let her hand drape across the top of Azzi's lower thigh. 

She smirked, feeling Azzi's weight shift underneath her, as she ran her fingers dangerously against the soft skin of her thigh. 

Azzi felt herself grow needy, the warmth of Paige's fingers spreading to her insides. 

Azzi could feel Paige's hand creep higher up her thigh, slowly inching closer to where she needed her most. Paige massaged her skin with her thumb in tight small circles on her inner thigh. 

Azzi accidentally let a soft moan slip out as her hand inched closer to her heat. 

Realizing she had allowed herself to enjoy this a little too much, she pushed Paige's hand away, stopping it as her hand hovered over the throbbing pressure between her legs. 

“Paige.” Azzi warned, as Paige threw her head back against the seat in frustration. 

Paige flicked her eyes away from the road to look at her girlfriend. 

“Az” paige said, letting her face soften upon looking at the way Azzi’s curious eyes wandered and searched her face for an answer. 

“Look.” Paige started. “I am sorry Azzi, i shouldn't have treated you like that yesterday, i wasn't fair.” Paige confessed at a mumble, part of herself not liking the idea of admitting she was wrong. 

Azzi sighed, “It's okay baby, I just hate it when you're upset with me.” Azzi softly stated, reaching her hand out and squeezing the blondes gently. 

“You didn't do anything wrong Azzi, I just wanted to see you after graduation , and I guess I got a little too wrapped up in the idea that you were coming over and I took it out on you when I found out you had other plans.” Paige admitted. “Also I might have been a little embarrassed cuz I may or may not have lit a couple of candles for you.” Paige sighed, her face blushing. 

Azzi, turned her body so she was facing her more directly, “Aw baby youre so cute. But just to be clear i didn't even go to the party, i went home cuz i was so stressed out about you.” Paige felt the guilt rush over her as Azzi admitted that to her. 

Paige’s head hung, “I'm sorry you had to leave, I am, honestly, but I just don't get why you didn't want to celebrate with me.” 

“Paige, are you serious right now? I literally wanted to come over, and if you had asked you could have come, and i would have said yes in an instant. If you had just sent me a message, instead of trying to guilt trip me, and make me feel bad, I would have been to your house in seconds." Azzi said, reaching up and brushing a strand of blonde hair away from Paige's face, framing her eyes. 

“I know azzi, i was acting crazy, i knew you would have come to be with me, i guess it was just the fact that i wasn't the first person you wanted to be with, i dont know it's stupid.” Paige tried to brush off the embarrassment as she said that, her eyes staying focused on the road. Azzi feels her heart melt at the sight of her blonde girlfriend being so vulnerable and open in front of her. 

“I am so sorry baby, I just thought it would make sense for me to hang out with the girls from my class since this is probably the last time i'm gonna see them, you know? Like I assumed I would be seeing you later that night. I just feel like you took it a little too far like it was a little toxic idk." Azzi said, watching Paige's face react to it. 

Paige felt a little taken aback by Azzi’s comment. 

“Az, you know i love you, and you don't even know how sorry i am, i'll never do it again i promise.” Paige said, turning a little to look at her. 

Paige moved her hand to caress Azzi’s curls, her finger brushing against Azzi's neck, sending shivers down her spine that was enough to make her want to unbuckle, climb onto Paige's lap, and take her right there. But somehow she managed to maintain herself, and simply said, “better not.” 

They spent what was left of the car ride with their hands all over each other. Azzi remained a bit more to herself, but when paige placed her hand on her lap, she moved her hand and let them linger over paige’s, tracing her initials onto her palm. 

When they pulled up to the dock, Paige shifted in her seat to turn to the younger girl, her hand still on Azzi's thigh. 

“Your family is gonna be here soon?” She asked moving her hand up to sweep the curls back behind Azzi's ear. 

Azzi blushes as she pulls out her home to check. 

“Ya, they said to just go on without them and they would meet us for dinner, they are running a little late apparently Jon forgot his suitcase.” Paige giggled at the reminder of her family dynamic, the one she had always felt so welcomed to. 

“Alright pretty, you stay here, k?” Azzi nodded in response, watching as Paige left and went to the trunk to grab their bags, and lug them over to the boat's entrance. She went back and opened Azzi’s door, but as she walked, Azzi couldn't help herself but gawk at the way Paige's sweatpants and how low they hung on her hips, the veins in her hands, and the way her long nimble finger wrapped around the bag she was holding. 

Azzi gulped when Paige opened the door.. Fuck she was horny. 

Paige’s hand rested on the small of her back as she led her towards the entrance of the cruise ship, azzi paused, turning to look Paige in the eyes.

“Thank you for bringing our bags in and driving, I appreciate it. But.” Azzi looks away as the last word comes out, Paige eyes her cautiously, “but what azzi?”

“I am still a little annoyed with you though, just warning you.” azzi said, which surprised her as Paige's tense body relaxed. 

Paige turns her and lets her hand pull azzi in closer to her side as they stand in the line to board. Her hand slides down and wraps around the front of her, resting just below Azzi's belly button piercing, the other one moving down to squeeze her ass. 

Azzi blushed, swatting at her hand, but her actions juxtaposed it, leaning back into page letting her warmth absorb her. 

“I feel like you won't be saying that later.” Azzi feels her breath hitch as Paige's voice is sharp in her ear. 

“Yeah?” Azzi gulps, her hand reaching back and coming in contact with the exposed skin between Paige's pants and her crop top. 

“How long do you really think you will hold out Azzi?” Paige questioned dominantly. 

Azzi chose to leave the question unanswered as she created some distance between them when walking in. 

When they reached the check in desk, Azzi could feel Paige's hands wander over her body. Azzi, who obviously was much more organized than Paige, checked in, providing the receptionist with the details of their trip, and the other people in their party that would be arriving later. Azzi tried to keep herself focused, but Paige was making it pretty difficult, her fingers tracing over her back, her eyes burning into the side of her head as she conversed with the lady who was checking them in. 

When the lady turned around to get them their room keys, Azzi turned to look at Paige, who was already staring at her puffy lips, licking her own and smirking at her. Azzi’s heart rate sped up, and she knew she would have to get her back for pulling this little stunt on her. 

Azzi leads them to their room, and Azzi forces Paige to carry both of their bags so she would keep her hands away from Azzi’s body. As the two of them open the door to the room Azzi begins to take herself at home, unpacking her clothes, while Paige on the other hand starts walking around the room, looking in the shower, at the beds, and even on the balcony. 

Azzi gives her a look as if to say “What are you doing.” and paige knowingly responds “sorry im just looking to see all the places i could fuck you in.” Paige smirked, walking up behind Azzi and trailing her fingers along Azzi’s arm. Azzi rolled her eyes and Paige whispered in her ear,

“Common Azzi, i said i was sorry, didn't  know it would be a crime for me to wanna celebrate graduating with my girlfriend.”  Azzi is silent, taking it in as Paige's hands trail down her arms and clutch her hands swinging them slightly. 

“Just wanna have a nice time on this cruise with my girl.” She continues smiling at their reflection in the mirror in front of them and licking her lips as she moves her head to lean on Azzi’s shoulder. 

Azzi studies her face and neck, she can tell she wants her bad, and Paige is not even trying to hide it. 

Azzi on the other hand, although better at hiding it, needed her just as badly. 

Paige tilted her head so her lips brushed against Azzi's neck, traveling upward and pressing an open mouth kiss on her dimple. Azzi’s hand found its way to Paige's shoulder, as her heart fluttered. 

Paige knew she had her in a choke hold and kept going, “didn't mean to treat you like that baby, i just wanna be near you all the time, i can't help it.”she whispered against her ear, letting her lips brush against it. 

Azzi walks back a few steps towards the bed, before she goes to sit down. Paige follows her like a lost puppy, seductively pulling Azzi’s legs apart so she can stand between them. 

Azzi looks up at her with wide eyes full of desire as she puts her own arms on either side of her hips on the bed. Azzi leaned her head back making eye contact with Paige, staring at her with needy hooded eyes. As azzi leans back, her jaw clenches, showing off the sharpness of her jawline. Immediately,the wetness between Paige's legs becomes overwhelming, and Paige is unbelievably aware of the switch azzi has just made. 

“Ima make it up to you baby, do you want that? Want me to make you feel good?”Azzi doesn't respond, but Azzi keeps her eyes on Paige. Looking up at her with her head tilted as if to say, “yeah?” biting her lip and looking down at herself all spread out for paige. 

“I'm gonna get you so right baby? Paige says as she leans down tracing her finger along Azzi’s thick muscular thighs. She licks her lips, smirking down at her girlfriend. “Just forgive me baby.” she whispers, watching as Azzi adjusts herself so she is propped up on her elbows with her body more accessible. She moves one of her hands to slightly fist at the hem of her shirt with an overtly innocent look plastered on her face. She felt like Paige had had enough of her teasing. 

“I don't know paigey, you made me really upset you know.” she said, dragging out the last letter so her tongue would trace her lips slowly, still looking up pouty. 

Paige moved her hand to the soft skin of Azzi's neck, stroking it gently. She brings her other free hand to tilt Azzi's jaw up, her thumb on her puffy bottom lip.

Paige leans forward, “I'm so sorry princess, I love you baby lemme do you right please.” she whispers into her ear, flicking her eyes to watch azzi-who thought she couldn't be seen- as she bites her lip letting her eyes roll back into her head. 

Paige raises back to her full height, peering over azzi with a knowing smirk as she pouts up at her, both of them fighting intense aches in their cores. 

“You want me so bad? My sweet girl, so innocent huh? Paige says tugging at azzi’s plump bottom lip. 

Azzi nods innocently, smiling.“Keep going.” she whispers. 

Paige knows exactly how to rile her up. 

“Such a beautiful girl, mmm drives me crazy,” Paige groans as Azzi takes off her hoodie, her eyes focused on Paige's, going back to her position to let Paige continue. 

“Mhm, that's it baby, such a good girl for me huh?” she says as Azzi stands up to slide off her pants, taking her time turning around so Paige can take it all in. 

By the time she is sitting back at the edge of the bed, Paige's mouth feels dry, and her pussy feels wet. 

“My smart girl. graduated in 3 years didn't you?”Azzi nods and puts up her foot to make Paige slide her socks off for her. 

“Whatever you want princess.” She smirks as she leans forward and delicately pills them off. 

Paige can feel the sweat slide down her back as the tension builds between them. 

“So fucking perfect, just wanna fuck you all the time.” Azzi's expression contorts into a teasing “really?”. And Paige doubles down “can't even control myself.” she says as her hands hover over the brunette's body. 

Paige lifts her leg to peel off her other sock, highlighting the swell of her ass. 

“Mmm that fat ass too.” Paige groans as she feels herself get wet. Her head is spinning, and Azzi, who is now only in a t-shirt and panties can tell. 

Azzi lifts one arm and slides it behind Paige's neck to pull her in towards her lips, letting them brush against her ear, “ok baby, i forgive you.” 

A smirk spreads onto Paige's face as azzi continues, “Wanna take this off me baby?” she asks with need dripping from her core. 

“Fuck az.” Paige groans, licking her lips eagerly as she leans forward to gently pull the shirt over her girlfriends head. 

Azzi leans back slightly now that she is fully exposed, her lingerie in full view, she separates her legs smirking. 

Paige’s jaw drops in disbelief as her parted thighs revealing a new pair of lingerie. 

“What happened to me sleeping on the couch huh?” Paige questioned as she studied the brand new red set that displayed Azzi's perky breasts, her toned stomach, and her piercing that shimmered under the light. 

Considering that they had just had an argument, and only had just made up everything clicked when she saw Azzi's state all laid out for her. 

Paige tips her head backward to stare at the ceiling shaking her head while rubbing her jaw and letting out a groan that makes azzi giggle. 

Azzi, still staring up at her girlfriend, waiting for her to make a move, holds both of her hands now as they make eye contact, 

“Wow so you just been tryna rile me up all day huh? You're such a freak Azzi Fudd.” Paige tuts with a smirk. 

“Paigeee” azzi whines, “what are you talking about sweetie?” she replies innocently, tugging at her shirt, pouting. 

“You dont wanna touch me baby?” she asks and Paige can barely believe it's a real thought in her head. 

Paige leans her head down to Azzi's ear, her hand resting lightly on the back of Paige's head whispering, “enough baby, you know imma touch you.” Paige says, her lips attaching to the soft spot under her ear. “But you gotta promise you're gonna be a good girl for me though ok? Can you do that Azzi?” 

“What if I don't wanna.” Azzi admits watching as Paige shakes her head in disbelief. 

“I think you're gonna wanna be good. Cuz you know im gonna fuck you so good.” paige says, watching as Azzi’s eyes scan down her body. 

Azzi’s hands travel up under her shirt, rubbing up and down on her bare stomach. 

She lets out a breathy moan, “Paigey?” she starts. 

Paige looks down at her, shuddering under her touch. 

Azzi continues to caress her lower stomach and whispers, “I promise I'll be a really good girl for you Paige,” batting her eyelashes innocently. 

“Yeah? didn't take much convincing huh? Need me that bad princess? Want me to fuck you good?” 

Azzi nods, standing up and wrapping arms around Paige's neck, hand gripping the back of her head pulling her into a kiss. Their lips connect with an absolute fire, the tension from the past day spilling out between their lips. Azzi licks at Paige's bottom lip, and Paige sucks in her tongue as her hands travel down to rub her ass. 

“Missed you bad.” azzi says when they finally pulled away, lips puffy and swollen, eyes hooded with desire. 

The blonde smiles and connects their lips again, the passion overflowing as Paige bites and pulls on her bottom lip. 

Paige’s lips travel down, leaving small open mouthed kisses from her jawline, and traveling down to her neck. 

She licks a long stripe down Azzi's stomach, outlining her abs before stopping at the band of her panties. 

Paige hooks her finger into them, letting them fall to the floor. 

Azzi looks down to watch the way Paige looks at pussy like she has been starved for years. Paige gets on her knees, so she is the one staring upwards a t her beautiful girlfriend in front of her. 

She separates Azzi’s legs gently and reaches her finger up to spread apart her tan folds, exposing the soft pink of her clit. 

“Prettiest pussy in the world”, she shakes her head, continuing, “she belongs to me.” Paige says to her pussy as Azzi smirks, “all yours. Now pls touch me, I need you so bad." Azzi whines pushing at Paige's head. 

Paige wraps her arms around the back of Azzi's thighs to stabilize herself, as she presses her tongue against Azzi's pussy, running it through her folds and picking up her slick. Azzi moans against the contact, pushing herself farther against her. 

Paige’s hands travel up to cup Azzi's ass, squeezing and listening to Azzi let out a soft moan. Paige’s tongue digs deeper against her, finding her clit and swiping against it. 

Her tongue flicks back and forth, and Paige transitions between the flicks, small tight circles, and sucking at it, releasing it with a pop. 

Azzi moans loudly, her hand tangling in Paige's hair as she pushes her girlfriend closer so her face is suffocated by her cunt. 

Paige goes down like she hasn't eaten in months, licking at her, sucking at her, even running her teeth gently against her. 

“Love the way you taste baby.” Paige says pulling away gently to catch her breath and shove Azzi onto the bed. 

Azzi moans as Paige climbs on top of her and flattens her tongue against her clit, lapping at it gently. She moves her head down, licking from her clit down to her entrance. 

Azzi can feel her pussy clench as Paige runs over her entrance teasingly with her tongue. 

“Please fuck-want you inside of me” Azzi says desperately and paige just smirks against her pussy. 

“What's the magic word,” Paige teases, her finger running through Azzi's slick. Azzi doesn't even have the chance to answer, as she pushes Paige's tongue into her. 

Paige lets it slide, and fucks her with her tongue, letting it plunge in and out of her. Azzi moans loudly as her tongue squelches against her walls, the feeling of the warmth was too much for her, and after only a few minutes of Paige's pounding into her, she is a pile of moans. 

“Fuck im close Paige.” she moans. 

Paige pulls her tongue out of her and flips them over so Azzi is sitting on her stomach. 

Paige wraps her hands around Azzi's ass and scotts her up so her pussy is now hovering over her face. 

“Sit,” Paige says dominantly. And Azzi looks a little self conscious at first, not wanting to completely crush her, but eventually the desire between her legs is too deep, and Paige's strong arms pull her down so she is now riding her tongue. 

Azzi moans loudly at the new angle, feeling Paige's tongue hit against her g spot as she fucked it into her. Azzi was grinding down on her, feeling Paige's nose brush against her clit. 

She moaned,her walls beginning to tighten and her pussy sucked up Paige's tongue as it bobbed in and out of her. 

“Gonna cum Paige.” she moaned her hands coming around on either side of her, her tits dangling in Paige’s face as she continued to fuck her through her orgasim. 

Soon enough Azzi’s white syrup was pouring out of her and paige was drinking up every last drop, fucking her through it. 

Azzi flopped off of her face so she was laying next to her. 

They lay there for a moment catching their breath. 

“You ready?” Azzi asks eagerly, laughing as she notices the cum on her nose, leaning forward and licking it off. 

“For what princess?” she asked, but Azzi was already straddling her and sliding off her pants.

“My turn to show my remorse.” Azzi smirked as Paige let out a breathy moan as the cool air hit her wet cunt. 

“All this from eating me out? You really are whipped.” 

Azzi wiggled herself down, situating herself so she was between her legs, aligning herself with Paige's core. 

She starts to place gentle kisses on Paige's inner thighs, feeling the heat radiating off of her. 

She placed a kiss on her pussy, before spreading it open with her fingers and licking a long strip through her. She lapped at her clit in soft kitten licks, taking in the taste of her arousal. 

Paige moaned, running her fingers over the back of Azzi's neck, tangling them in her hair. 

Azzi ran her finger through her wetness, letting it get completely soaked, before she fucked it into her listening as paige moaned at the contact. 

Azzi continued fucking the one finger into her, her tongue flicking against her clit. 

Paige moaned, desperate for more contact. 

“Please more. Need more princess. You're so good to me.” Paige praised, as she pushed Azzi's mouth against her clit with more force, so she was now sucking on it. 

With Paige’s words, Azzi added two more fingers, fucking them in and out of her at a fast rhythm while Paige shoved her face into her cunt. 

“Fuckkk.” she moaned, throwing her head back as she felt her walls start to suction around Azzi's fingers. 

Azzi pressed down her other hand on Paige's lower stomach, causing her walls to release, and her orgasim to spill over her with a loud moan, her cum spilling out onto Azzi's fingers. 

Azzi fucked her through it, not stopping until Paige was squirming underneath her. 

“Who's the good girl now?” Azzi asked smartly, as she ran her fingers through Paige's sensitive clit. 

Paige, who was still tired from just having Azzi’s fingers pound in and out of her, was not willing to give up that easily, she moved Azzi's fingers away from her clit towards Azzi's mouth. “Still you.” she said as she shoved them into Azzi’s mouth, melting a little as Azzi held eye contact with her and sucked Paige's juices off of them. 

—----

An hour or 2 later, after the girls had finished unpacking, and getting ready for dinner, they met Azzi’s family down by one of the cruise restaurants. 

“You look so beautiful tonight.” Paige said as they walked down the stairs towards the door. 

“You do too, baby.” Azzi smiled, and Paige poked her dimple lovingly. 

Making their way over, they finally spotted Azzi's family in the distance. They all exchanged hugs, and stories before finally making their way into the restaurant. 

“Mrs. Fudd.” Paige said, pulling out Azzi's chair for her. 

“Thank you Mrs. Bueckers.” she mocked as she sat down. 

The night was filled with laughter and stories of Azzi's childhood, the team next year, classes, and just day to day anecdotes. 

Paige couldn’t imagine herself anywhere else than with this family, at this table. 

Paigee loved every part of Azzi, from her family, to her, to the way she would refuse to let either of them bring their phones when they snuck away to one of the islands, or when she would force Paige to watch Frozen with them in the room before they went to sleep the second night. 

Paige knew Azzi was the one for her, from the minute she saw her, and no fight they could ever have would ever change that. 

[maiverie]

OMG MAI I JUST LISTENED TO THE DARK BLOOD ALBUM AND OMG OONNODWEWENEFEWUFB ngl i stopped listening to enha for a while before this cb AND THIS CB IS EOEOEN OMG

also love your new theme wjdnwenoefue YOU LITERALLY SLAY YOUR THEMES EVERYTIME OMG

WHAT ARE YOUR RATINGS FOR DARK BLOOD ??? mine is :

Sacrifice (eat me up) - this song is so good i actually cant even rn

Bite Me - THE MV ???!?!? ALL OF THEM BIAS WRECKING ME RN THE HECK KDNEWODEWH

Chaconne - omg this song BEIFEUIF I CANT RN ITS MAKING ME GO BACK INTO MY ENHA PHASE

Bills - they be paying their bills w this THEY SAID PAY OUR BILLS OML

Karma - I HAVE NO WORDS ??!?!?!? OMG isn't as good as the others tho

Fate - IM SORRY TO ALL WHO LIKE FATE AS AN ACTUAL TRACK BUT I LIKE IT BETTER AS AN ACTUAL SONG COZ ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD THO

HELENA OH MY GODDDD firstly im still recovering from dark blood. they literally got me convulsing on the floor fr I'm shaking trembling dfon tknow what to do or HOW TO BREATHE?@?#$#^

THANK YOU SO MUCH AFWEHWHE AS U CAN TELL IM OBSESSED W CHANGING MY THEME EVERY 2 SECONDS SO U MIGHT WAKE UP TMR AND FIND A NEW ONE :L

OH MY GOD UR RANKING MAKES OS MUCH SENSE HELPPP I LOVE LLVEO LOVE SACRIFICE SOOO MUCH LIKE ngl the title is probably my #1 and then it's either sacrifice or chaconne BDHSAHFWEHWHE

they rlly said pay our billls HELPPP HELENA LITERALLY THOOO WHY DID THEY POP OFF SOOO HARD I DIDNT PREPARE MYSELF LMFAO

okay this is the thing: hybe is constantly baiting me with these previews like w foreshadow I was so excited for it AND COME TO FIND OUT ITS NOT A FULL SONG??? I FELT SO ROBBED AND IT HAPPENED AGAIN W FATE????? I LOVE IT SO MUCH BUT I JUST .L......... I WOUL DLIKE A FULL SON GPLEASE HYBE???

[sunniques]

i do like it!! its very cunty <3

and ugh yeahh i can definitely relate :( i tend to be friendly and supportive with everyone and people sometimes interpret that as me being fake and hearing that would always bother me a lot. these days ive learned that i cant really change the way people look at me, and as long as i know myself maybe thats enough. as for insomnia it doesnt happen too often but rn theres just too much on my mind and i cant really fall asleep because of it which is just annoying. thank u for going along with my ramblings lol, if im bothering u feel free to say it as well (promise i wont take it personally)!!

cherish my love is really really good omg youre so right for that 🙂‍↕️ i had to look up home sweet home and work bc i didnt know them and to be 100% honest theyre not exactly my taste but i can absolutely see why someone else might love them bc theyre very catchy (and the little melody that runs through the chorus on work is actually so fun) <3 and we all know how i feel about moonstruck so even tho its not a title track ill let it slide bc yes. maestro im actually still conflicted on 😭 sometimes i really like it and sometimes i really dont? idk either

sending love and good vibes 💗 i hope u were able to enjoy your weekend!!

- 🐇

omg i’m glad you think so 🫶

tbh it gets easier with time! like i no longer care what people think because the people close to me know who i really am! and ofc you’re always welcome in my inbox! promise you’re not annoying or anything like that.

yes cherish my love is that girl fr!! and yes work and home sweet home are def so catchy lol. omg i totally forgot moonstruck is not a title track 🤦‍♀️ it just seems like one to me bc of how much i like it lmao. and a lot of ppl feel like that! at first i did too but i love it completely now!

sending you virtual hug and all my love! i did have a good weekend and i hope you did too!

[aezuria]

*ੈ✎ he's an all american boy!

content: american football player! jason grace x reader

╰┈▸ back cover: mortal! au; part I | part II

warnings: cursing (sorry guys), kinda random non-linear plot (but its hcs so its fine)

librarian's annotations: guys help i need a song title/lyric that fits this so it can be my title

also IM GOING FERAL I THINK THE ANGST MADE ME INSANE SO THIS IS HOW I COPE can you guys tell im projecting by the way ppl fawn over him in this

bro is actually hotshot #1

right when he walks into the school he is BOMBARDED with students like theyre papparazi

hes just

tall, handsome, buff- what more could a girl want?? (there are other criteria he meets but we'll get to that later)

the picture perfect quarterback straight from a damn movie

NOT TO MENTION HES NOT SOME COCKY JERK

at first ppl were like "omg hes so hot but im not gonna go up to him cause what if hes mean???"

and then he goes up to them and hes all shy like

"excuse me? i need to get to my locker, sorry if i interrupted your conversation." and hes scratching the back of his neck and smiling awkwardly

HEART EYES

word spreads fast in hs yall already know

so when everyone finds out hes not only tall, handsome and buff but also KIND??

head over heels

and hes not exactly oblivious to it but hes not fully aware of it either

probably like "oh yea a lot of ppl talk to me idk why tho its probably cause my friends are popular"

bby you’re the most popular out of your friends don’t even

hes such a good student too

teachers love him

hes everyones golden boy fr (especially mine teehee)

usually sits in the front of the class unless his friends make him sit with them in the back

then he pulls out his glasses that he keeps in its case, even having the lil wipe thing folded neatly

cue shocked gasps

"omg you wear glasses?"

"do you need to clean them? here have my handkerchief!" ("who even are you can't you see he has one")

"those suit you so well!"

his ears turn red at the sudden burst of attention and he laughs nervously, muttering his thanks

even the teacher wasnt mad at the disruption bc who would get mad at jason?

(he got little nudges from his friends after)

you guys know that one jock whose actually a nerd x nerd trope???

i dont even know if it exists but it sounds cute anyway

thats you and jason

he had his first conversation- if you could call it that, at the library when you guys were abt to grab the same book (ugh so cliche right)

being the gentleman he was, he let you have it

to which you tried to refute but he INSISTED

"oh, y/n it's yours. i'll just get a different one."

which got you a little intimidated bc who wouldnt be intimidated by a 6'2 jock thats the talk of the town

you thanked him profusely and scampered away

wait did he just say my name? how does he even know who i am?

that probably kept you up at night

like "oh my god did i just embarrass myself in front of THE jason grace???? did i walk away weird?"

little did you know that the jason grace was awake that same night

"did i scare her?? why did she look like that when i said her name? did my voice crack? did she think i was weird cause my hand brushed against hers? oh my god my hand brushed against hers.."

started noticing you EVERYWHERE after that

like he knew you guys were in some classes tgt

but he finds that he passes by you SO many times in the hallway

and somehow spots you at a table across the library

was that your usual spot? was this his usual spot now?

like what?? his delusional never-had-a-real-gf-because-that-one-time-he-dated-his-friend-she-turned-out-to-be-a-lesbian ass thinks its fate

very much influenced by all the books he reads (NO he does not read romance he simply finds an interesting book that HAPPENS to have romance)

(and if he did, WHAT OF IT HUH??? THEY COUNT AS BIG BOY BOOKS OKAY)

i have this headcanon that he remembers the name of everyone in his classes because he was always forgettable as a kid and no one really knew his name cause he was so quiet (or he tries really hard to remember because he has this aching feeling that in another timeline he could never remember)

so he doesnt want to make others feel that way and yea

BACK TO HOW HOT HE IS

(stealing part of this from my earlier rant)

its late, hes tired, but hes back in the library to cram for his test tomorrow

so unlike him, usually hed be on top of things, but his minds been on some... other things. persons. person.

hes still sweaty and sore from football practice, having (literally) ran straight here after changing

throws his bag down (quietly of course, he's not some brute) and takes out like three different notebooks, his worn pencil case from freshman year, and his glasses

jason slides them on, pushing it up the bridge of his nose as he gets up and searches for the textbooks he needs

he knows its more comfortable and less time-consuming to just study at home, after all he already has loaner textbooks given out at the start of the school year, but something in his heart wanted him to drag his beat ass here and work

and good thing too, because he sees a familiar hand grab a book from the other side of the bookshelf

not that he just knows what your hand looks like, that'd be weird

it reveals your beautiful eyes, ones jason would love to see closer

he smiles at you from the crack in the bookshelf, murmuring a soft "hello"

you think you just saw an angel with the way the warm light crowned his head

but when you offer to help him study??? he thinks he fell in love

you were his SAVIOR

thanked you a billion times every other sentence and fumbled over his words cause hes never talked with you for this long

his ears are bright red even though the ac in the library was always to the max

also how is he wearing just a shirt

not that you minded though, it gave you a chance to ogle at the way the fabric was fighting for its life to keep him under wraps

and daydream about fantasies that shall not be named (one involving a pink bow around his bicep)

you dont know how long you were helping and how long you spent daydreaming

you hoped you werent being too obvious (it was very, very obvious but jason was too focused to notice)

it felt like mere minutes when jason looks up, a tired but accomplished look on his face

he thanks you one last time, saying he'll make it up to you

you couldnt help but feel disappointed until the fatigue from the day hits you like a bus

he offers to take you home, saying it was too dark out, and that it wouldnt be safe

god, hes such a gentleman

you take him up on the offer as you did NOT plan on dying a virgin

walks you to your door too, can he get any better???

apparently he can because after he got his scores back for his tests, he rushes to you with a bright smile and presents them like a child with their artwork

���i got a hundred! it’s all thanks to you, you’re a really great study buddy!”

of fucking course he gives the credit to you how is he so humble??

like that was alllll him you just sat there and admired the view (so real for that)

after that he practically begs you to go to his next game, saying he'll return the favor by playing extra hard for you

(can he be extra hard for me tho)

you needed no convincing because a. hes jason grace. end of question. (and b, you know his ass would look great in his uniform GOOD GOOGLY MOOGLY)

he even said he’ll treat you if your school wins (which should be the other way around, but he again, insists)

they won, to absolutely no one’s surprise

took you to a cute lil cafe where you guys got drinks and sandwiches

then he overthinks it before bed cause he didn’t make it sound like a date but he really wanted it to be but he wasn’t sure if you felt the same and-

when you guys do start dating, everyones jealous but they cant bear to hate because you guys are just so cute together (bonus if youre short cause height difference couple !!)

he tried to keep it secret cause he didnt want to get you overwhelmed with a bunch of attention, but its obvious to everyone hes extra soft with you

he thought he was being sneaky when he slowly shifted his usual seat day by day to be closer to you so it wouldnt be obvious (spoiler: it was)

you assured him you were okay with your relationship being public if he was okay with it too

of course he is how can he NOT want you by his side forever

he sees his friends give their gfs their jersey to wear to their games and is like “i so want that” but he’s too shy to ask youu

but it’s written all over his face as you catch him staring intently at the way his friend hands over his spare jersey to his girlfriend when they think no one was looking

so, being the great girlfriend you are, took it upon yourself to ask him for it

which he gave to you a blushing, stuttering mess

the next game, he was worried

where were you? you weren’t usually this late; the game was about to start and he didn’t even get a good luck kiss yet!

he knows it’s probably nothing strange, that you’re just running late, but he can’t help but worry

the whistle blows and he sighs, getting into position, but not before sneaking one last glance at the bleachers

his sky blue eyes found you instantly, and was that-?

you were wearing his jersey, practically swimming in it as you waved your arm excitedly.

he broke into a wide smile, unfortunately hidden by his helmet, and waved back at you, forgetting all about the game for a moment until his friend whacked him upside the head

he buzzed with anticipation, wanting to just hurry and finish so he could run to you and spin you in his arms

you were his driving motive as he scored touchdown after touchdown, never letting the other team bridge the gap in their points

his team wins unsurprisingly, and the first thing he does is throw down his helmet and run to you, tackling you gently

he sweeps you off your feet and kisses you as you spin, giggles muffled by his lips

hes sweaty and sticky but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, the way his smile lights up the world is all that matters

and he knows that you’re his world, and he’d do anything to make you light up

[uglypastels]

okay getting to the other stuff now that i’ve said my piece about the heart-wrenching cliffhanger you’re going to keep me up at night with lmao

- he was scared of losing her and was just gonna go be sad in his room by himself🥺

- even though he’s a good pirate (can’t believe i’m a pirate apologist now) he’s killed people before but what sits heaviest with him is that he’s hurt her!!! stfu that’s so pure

- as soon as he said to just call him eddie… oh babeyyy i knew shit was abt to go down in a sinful way. but no! poor eddie was blue balled, reader had a terrifying dream, and us (actual) readers were on the edge of our fucking seat

- the crew said they’d miss her!!

- hellfire shot first, right? (i kept getting interrupted trying to read that part so it’s fuzzy to me) WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE THE RED TAIL SANK I NEED THIS BACKSTORY OH MY GOD

CAN WE TALK ABT THE SMUT JFC. cause you rly fucking delivered on that

- ‘Really? The princess had thought of me, a filthy pirate?’ ‘I’m not a princess.’ You rolled your eyes playfully. ‘Out of all the things to dispute, you argue my words of affection?’

- ^fucking swooning over these lines

- ‘So you can be good for me.’

- ^this one too

- him admitting he lost his control due to jealousy!!! idec if it’s toxic (only cause this isn’t real life) jealous eddie is so hot

- as a tit (wo)man myself, i have to give my thanks for including boob stuff *chefs kiss*

more comments of after the smut cause i apparently have a million fucking thoughts abt this chapter i’m sorry😭

- they comforted each other after their nightmares that is so goddamn sweet im SICK

- ‘I had honesty considered just locking you away and keeping you forever, but I am a man of my word, am I not?’ HE SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT HER THERE FOREVER. TURNED TF AROUND AND NEVER LOOKED BACK

- reader writing the ransom note and changing the whole story to try to spare eddie/hellfire was so smart oh my god u rly had me fooled that they weren’t gonna get in any trouble and be seen as fucking heroes or smth

- the comment abt him not having carpet fr cracked me up

- he read her mind and shut the idea of staying with him down:(( that son of a bitch (still love him tho)

- and he didn’t tie her hands tight so she could start swinging at any moment!! (c o m e o n reader…we’re fucking waiting! punch ur dad in the face!)

- ‘governor, i see we meet again’ again!!! AGAIN?!!?!

amazing fucking chapter. ur updates always make me so excited, and i’m eagerly waiting for more<333

Dont mind me just giddily giggling over all of this 🤭 but its really hard for me to reply bc i am just rereading your comments and kicking my feet with joy. You really know how to butter me up lmao and i wish i could write rn but i'll be at the beach the whole day so i will have to do with daydreams and the notes app- which, btw, do not ever again apologise for sharing your thoughts!! I as a professional attention whore absolutely thrive off of this so please do not stop

Well, ya know the title of the fic, and it is eddie so you know he's a sweetiepie at heart. He's just been through stuff (and yessss we will find out what. All questions will be answered i hope (unless people have questions to things i did not even consider but so far i dont think that has been the case???).

And listen, with [fan]fiction, there is no such thing as red flags 🫤🙄 only black ones with skulls on them 🏴‍☠️ and toxicity is what makes everything that extra bit spicy.

I am a bit sorry for blueballing yall at the beginning, but if i hadnt then we would not have gotten the rest of the chapter as it is now?? And that counts for something suuurely

plus, i tried to hold off on the smut as long as i could bc i really really do not like writing it, as much as i am an avid lover of it, which brings me to my next point of i really appreciate all the comments on the smut bc i honestly dont know what in doing most times and it was probably the main reason why it took so long to write this chapter because i just freeze up at the mention of genitalia lmao. My brain just becomes that cymbal monkey.

Hehe i was really proud of that pirate/princess line. And the carpet one. Just gotta break up the heaviness sometimes ya know. And you just know these two have that kind of "deprication as love language" affair. Is that a even a thing? Well i made it a thing. Especially since its basically canon for this au that eddie has a major degradation kink.

In a perfect world, they would have been welcomed as heroes, but in a perfect world they also would never have kidnapped her so 🫠

And yes Again 😌

[darke15]

RHYMIEEEEE 🖤🖤🖤

Im typing this on Google Docs because Tumblr loves to crash on me.

Smart bean

I’m already loving the chapter from the title alone. I’m excited.

Yay 😌

There's a face that we hide Till the nighttime appears, And what's hiding inside, Behind all of our fears, Is our true self…

K fine I’ll listen to the musical again.

It’s a good musical

Eyyy Ollie you hijo de puta howyadoiiin. Reveling in your own overconfidence again I see. Never change Ollie.

He’s such a douche

(F/N) couldn’t have gotten far but, at the same time, she could have gotten anywhere.

If only you knew.

Fr fr 

My girl went on a little retreat to Wakanda, self reflecting and arguing with herself and having fun lil sparring matches with some of the best warriors in the fricking world. Boone did a Frankenstein in Princess Shuri’s lab. Babygirl & Co had the time of their lives.

It almost could have been a vacation

I wanna know what Ollie’s assistant’s name is. They need a raise, a vacation, a way out…

Imagining a spin off series about the life and times of ollie’s longest living assistant

Have you seen the Devil Wears Prada? Ollie is Meryl Streep’s character and Assistant is Anne Hathaway.

🤣🤣🤣

(F/N) would screw up and he’d find her. And he wouldn’t be alone this time. He’d have the Winter Soldier by his side the entire time.

I truly hope that if that does happen, he just reaches over and chokes you so hard your face will be the same color as your hair

Oooooooooof that would be entertaining

“Aerocell doesn’t belong to you.” “You do.”

oof... that one's sick. I like that one.

Novak’s a bad motherfucker 

Oh wow I love how differently Novak's nicknames for Ghostie and Ollie are. He straight up calls him boy in the most condescending way, like he's disciplining a kid he's unfortunately stuck with.

Same tho. I think it’s really great to see them so different in novak’s eyes

Novak is such an interesting character. I hate myself for saying that but by god it's true

He really is…i hate to say it, but i love him 

Poor boy is so stressed. Again. Darke you gotta give him a break soon... like a retreat of his own... to Wakanda..... y'know 😉😉😉

We’re getting there. We’re getting there…

Maybe it wasn’t too hard to jump between an amnesiac assassin to psychotic soldier.

What, you think she has a type?

She does but it's not that. It definitely isn't that.

An argument could be made that Danny was indeed a psychotic soldier. 

I just wanna know why Ghost decided to stage it like that with Jack as Wraith. Right in front of Bucky, too. Maybe it's my memory failing me, but I don't think I ever read what their actual plan was when it came to that.

She was tryna get aerocell in to the avengers hands and the best idea she could come up with was that she was, indeed, brainwashed and working as a courier to get Aerocell to the buyer. They decided to take it a step further and have Jack on standby dressed as Wraith to step in if she had any issues. That way, it would seem that Aerocell was just that important & they needed to get it out of her hands. And because Ghost flashbacked to Ollie dressed in her suit and thought it would be great if Jack took his identity….just to piss him off 

It's 10 in the morning Darke, dial it down.

Not my fault

Yay Wakanda best place on earth

Fr fr 

You’d spent most of the day cooped up in your room, staring over Birnin Zana as though it would be the last time you’d get to enjoy a view that magnificent. It probably would be.

No don't say that. 🥺 It's nice here.

I’m sorryyyyy 

Hehe I'm imagining Ghost in an elevator full of the Dora with like spears poking out and passive aggressive glaring all while royalty free elevator music is playing.

I don’t know why i heard the wandavision theme song in my head but elevator music themed 

And she's as violent and intrusive as always 😌 i'm cheering for you Hyde.

Bad idea 

Hehe You rolled your eyes at yourself. Yes I do it a lot, it's the most accurate this has ever been as a reader insert.

Same tho 

Oh no. Boone and Shuri are teaching each other. Oh no. This is it, they're gonna take over the world.

They really would tho 

Yay, Belov is calling her Batman again.

We’re getting back into the swing of things 

If only she had that Wayne money too.

Boone does..at least she’ll steal it and then she’ll have it 

The difference in tone with Hyde Ghost and Ghost is hilarious. But I'm still scared, they're agreeing on things now.

This is my fault, I'm the one cheering for her.

All your fault

I love my science girlies science-ing even though I have no idea what they're talking about.

Me neither, i’m just hoping for the best 

“No.” You shook your head quickly, “I-I was just thinking out loud.” That’s just fancy talk for talking to yourself, stupid.

Hyde Ghost, the middle school bully.

She really is 

Honestly I love how caring and observant everyone on their team is. The fact that they all know their tells when something is wrong shows how well they can communicate as a team and how much they care about one another.

You’re only as strong as your weakest link. They’ve put in the time in making each other stronger

“Just, promise me something? Don’t lose yourself this time.” “I don’t wanna disappoint you.” “You won’t.”

Gimme a minute, I just gotta go to my lil corner and weep.

Raffa is just the best 

The twins and their android makes it sound like Pietro and Wanda share the same phone wtf

🤣🤣🤣

 In another world, he and Oliver would have been the perfect team; they could’ve been equals.

I REGRET KILLING CROSSBONES OFF…HE AND GHOST COULD HAVE HAD SUCH GOOD BANTER 

IN ANOTHER WORLD!? Well golly jee, just wAit until you hear about a lil spell a certain neurosurgeon a few blocks away can cast.

shhhhhhhhhhhh

Oh god, what if there's a variant of Ollie that is exactly, transparently Alpha One Ollie. Like. A wee baby with no affiliations with Nazis and only joined the military for free college but got dragged into Aftermath because he was talented and Weston plucked him out just before he could start dreaming about having no student loans. Maybe he wanted to go into theatre, the acting is innate and he would've been happy there if it weren't for Aftermath throwing that wrench into his plans.

That would be fantastic…

His rage had blinded him, pushing him over the edge to be so easily manipulated, he was nothing more than a marionette.

That is genuinely so demented what the fuck.

Ollie be crazyyyy

EW IS HE FLIRTING WITH NAT

Maybe a lil 

EW EW EW GET AWAY FROM HER EW

TECHNICALLY she started flirting with Ghost in Paris…

He was way too damn close to her. She was way too damn comfortable with him.

RIGHT!? IT IS. DISGUSTING.

😈😈😈😈😈

“You got such pretty eyes, princess.”

Now this is the kind of flirting I like 😌

Boonie know how to do it 

Did Belov just say Athena had lice

Shhhhhhh he gets confused sometimes 

“You are our hamster.” “Guinea pig.” “Whatever.”

Belov is an icon.

I love him so much 

And Ghost is reckless what do you mean you're going alone?

Hyde!Ghost, where the heck are you and why aren't you saying anything?

Have you ever stopped to consider that ghost and hyde…might be coming together…into one person again…

ATHENAAAAA

Whenever i read her name i start singing that one song from the troy saga

That was awesome I can't wait to see Athena in more action

It’s gonna be great 😈😈😈`

Ollie's face hasn't healed yet, I just realized. Either Jack did such a bad number on him that his own serum is taking a while, or his serum is getting faulty.

His serum has always been faulty but…if it’s getting worse again…and they made the stabilizer from Ghost’s blood…what does that mean for jack?

YAY NEW SUIT NEW SUIT

We're gonna need reference pictures for the new suit baby

I’ve got some up on pinterest

PARIS

WE'RE GOING BACK TO PARIS WE'RE GOING BACK TO PARIS

yesssssssssss

“Anything for a friend, yes?” “Yeah,” you said, “Anything.” “If you should require any assistance…” T’Challa started before you finished for him. “I’ll pitch a tent outside the border,” you said, earning yourself a chuckle. You grinned nodding to the Queen Mother as the two of you passed the throne room before you sent a wink toward the Princess from where she stood before the Queen. You turned to him, “The same goes for you. Anytime. Anywhere. You need something. I’ll be there.”

Feels like this is gonna lead up to something cool... I have a gut feeling but I'm probably wrong.

I want to know this gut feeling 

“I will admit,” General Okoye said from the pilot’s chair, a small smile on her face, “It was a good fight, Ispihiro. Next time, I will be ready.” “Next time, I want to be fighting by your side, not against you.”

I love them.

saaaaameeeeeee

Darke.

Rhymie

DARKE

RHYMIE

I'm sorry it took me so long to get to this but it was so worth the wait I love it.

Yay 😌

I gotta get all my thoughts in order and there's plenty of time to tell them to you later so just know. I love it.

yessssssssss

We're going back to Paris we're going back to Paris we're going back to fricking PARIIIIS

yahhhsssssssssssssssssss

CHAPTER 88: JEKYLL & HYDE

To all my live reactors,

Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around. 

&

To all my Anonymous Avengers, 

If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers. 

Thank you,

Darke

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

You growled lowly, the snarl scaring a scientist as you forced yourself up the stairs, “Shut up—”

“I haven’t even said anything yet.”

You paused with a blink, snapping your gaze up at the man in front of you as he stared down at you.

Raffa was leaning against the railing, watching you intently as you took a slow step to his side.

“Where the hell did you come from?” you asked in confusion, glancing up at the suite that you swore he’d been in.

“Were you talking to yourself?” he hummed, looking you over skeptically as you turned away from him.

Yes.

“No.” You shook your head quickly, “I-I was just thinking out loud.”

That’s just fancy talk for talking to yourself, stupid.

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

» CHAPTER 88: JEKYLL & HYDE

✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ

♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ

⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ

»Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇ Tᴀɢʟɪsᴛ

@thexbookxnerdx // @autumn-em // @fadingbakeryfarmoperator // @rhymingtree // @itsmeatballworld // @kippykasey // @turtleedovee // @kamalymaly // @onewithnomightypowers // @y-napotat // @riahmcq // @thequeenofthefallen // @jesuswasnotawhiteman // @fnnshelbys // @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul // @banbananas // @beans-and-toast // @violetvictoriabarnes // @oikawasblueearbud // @itsarussian // @mrsbarnesinmyimagination // @oopsiedoopsie23 // @luhuhzy // @heyimjustlaura12 // @moonlightreader649 // @petalren // @sighmurderbot // @soldat-petala // @useless-creature-213 // @xiyouchan // @kaiblog50 // @bookfeen // @nx-crisis // @afraidofshrimp // @aftermatharchives

[warriorprincesstramp]

this is so embarrassing <3 but would you happen to maybe possibly have a merlin (2008) fic rec list beloved mutual..... not nearly enough fic writers get it like my beloved mutuals do

i can assure you that is absolutely not even close to as embarrassing as it is to have devoured any and everything the merlin fanfiction world has to offer. i have read aus that you would not believe. i have been subjected to characterisations and headcanons that would make anyone else instantly close the tab. i have read authors with such a poor clumsy grasp of british slang i could weep from embarrassment. yet i persevered. for MONTHS. and here is what me (and beth <3) have managed to scrounge up after all of that. please use everything i've just said as context that we were NOT in our right minds reading these. proceed with caution

tributes - the! hunger! games! fic!!!! iconic legendary spectacular THEE revolutionary turnaround for the merlin fanfiction game and for the horrors generally. do NOT go in overhyped tho me and beth went in like haha what a cool weird au and then it caught us off-guard that it wasn't written terribly. also good for something longer and about much more than just merlin and arthur. it's fr like watching the show again for better and for worse. it's got camp whimsy it's got our main duo acting like complete freaks it's got this constant suffocating sense of inevitable tragedy... slayed!

history books forgot about us and in dreams - by the hunger games writer so u know it's actually written well!! don't read their other stuff tho just trust me. my memory of the first one isn't great but i remember feeling with both that finally FINALLY someone Got the finale like me + beth did. short but just rlly solid satisfying follow-ups to the show.

the court of avalon - freya + arthur best friendism in avalon realest shit ever said!!! makes me go fucking crazy fr. YES this has way too much magic lore bullshit to it and i don't careeee they're my friends.... and FINALLY a proper post-finale fic where they don't just freeze arthur in time for 1500 years...

to the point of fear - slay little mordred character study!!!!

the world i built for you - the disir fix-it!! smth i have always wanted due to being sooooo Normal about that episode (arthur's matrix. if u even care). not perfect but worth a read for sure!!

long title and also long title - i rlly like established relationship fics. sorry for being cringe and boring some crimes can never b forgiven etc.

like clouds in starlight widely spread - ok the rest of these i'm going to copy/paste from my list for beth sorry <3 but if i've already written a little deseription for each one why give myself more work yk. anyway: sad and wistful and A Lot as someone who was about to move out of my hometown when i read this. if i said it chapter two vibes. actually that doesn't mean anything ignore that. at one point arthur goes "are you trying to tell me something?" and merlin responds with, "i'm always trying to tell you something." which uh. he really is huh. it's whatever though.

fundamental imperfection - merlin and arthur as writers, gets their first meeting right (arguing and being dicks, then immediately becoming obsessed with each other). don't remember much else except the sequel is unfinished heavy angst and i cried like three times. don't read that (+ HIGHLY positively peer reviewed by beth. tell us a story about love!!!)

as long as we have we - i know you've read that fake marriage christmas fic which i love a lot (maybe it has problems but it's just so endearing...) and this is the same vibe. or well it's christmas and it's sweet so

(and said xmas fic: no matter how far away you roam <3)

tintagel - i don't know how i feel abt merlin and arthur in this but the parallels made to ygraine and nimueh are just too insanity inducing to ignore. my price is my life yours is to bear witness.... they wrote that in 2009!!!! insane

ok that's a lot + it's the best merlin ff has to offer. which is still not that great but. enjoy!! + b thankful you do not have to go into the hellscape that is the merlin ao3 tag...

kingdoms - i have no memory of this tbh but i wrote 'yeah.' underneath the bookmark so it's gotta have something

sorry edit one more I forgot - merlin and arthur are exes and arthur is just soooo weird and sad and repressed about it. also peer reviewed 🫶 (X) and also check out beth's merlin fanfiction recs tag if for some insane reason u want more. ok bye 🫂

[the-acid-pear]

I didn't want to but my last post got so long Tumblr can't load it AFSGSGAHH so this is my second post bc liveblogging this manga is part of my personality now <3

From where i left,

I love seeing Shibukawa i hate knowing how that fight will go down tho </3

JACKKKK 🥺

Oh is that literally Andre the giant?

MOTOBEEEE 💞

THAT'S RETSU?! GOD I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HIM AT ALL I-

KUREHA IS BACK TOO NICE

Katou baby you won't last

YESSSSSSSS YES YES YES MY SON.

Yeah and uh, Katsumi whatever.

BABYYYYYYYYY BOYYYYYYYYYY

Poor Kozue on god pugoygpgu

Toba 🥺

Kozue like 😨

Chapter 186

You don't know but like 2 days passed and i actually forgot what was happening VÑVPJOYG

I just remembered that scene in the fairy odd parents movie where the crowd goes OHHH AHHH

WHAT NUT?

I don't want to simp so early in the morning but UGHHH look at him!!

Hey has Baki always been doing the yujiro stand or is this new?

Feel you Mr Andre the giant i too have been told to not use my full strength. Though I'm just 1.60, my power comes from my anger issues and my god given right to kick ass

That's one strong kick

Rip the crowd n Andre the giant

Chapter 187

I don't think that's true Baki boy

That's a big number sir

I really don't care about this fight much at all surudtidkgxkhkdgksr

Poor Kozue man

Okay no apparently all cis men on the comments did want to become the string ???? Get help /j

Chapter 188

This is prob cool if you know who these people are. I unfortunately don't.

Look of bloodlust? He looks like the average fuckboy

YESSS BABEY LET'S GOOO THE GLASSES ARE BACKKK

Me watching the anime: omg that's so random why is he wearing glasses out of nowhere lol?

Me now (my brain is bigger): WOOOOOOOOO

I'm still obsessed with Toba's size

IFYOYDITDPUGPJG

Okay i had to google who igari was bc i wasn't recognizing him, now I'm cheering on him

This is gonna be a good one, hopefully

That was murder

DOPPO POG DOPPO POG-

Chapter 189

Hehehe this title sounds promising 👀

KSJSKSHSJS BRO 🥺

I really can't tell if he's scared of confident, i HOPE he's confident like, he's my pollo afteral (i make that joke in Spanish bc idk how to do it in English 😭)

Nice feet (See? No one can accuse me of having a foot fetish because no one reads these haha!)

I'm not gonna simp for 3 lines straight but i can't just pass this without saying how much i love how Doppo looks in this arc my man looking more precious than usual 😌🥺💞

Shout-out to the ppl in the comments wishing Motobe a happy bday <33

Chapter 190

These men just LOVE breaking fingers don't they?

It was a pleasure knowing you Motobe-san

I must say Doppo first watching the fights with Katou now with his son is like, super damn sweet like this dude is just such a Dad™

Sumo is such a damn cool sport tbh, i watched like one documentary on it once and nothing else but it's just like damn

NOOOUGHHH

MOTOBE IS FUCKING DEAD.

Lshekwhwksgskd someone was mentioning how they make Motobe sound like a badass but he loses every time and someone just responded "He's 50", which is similar to the justification i tried to give myself whenever Doppo kept fucking losing but then you have mfs like Shibukawa who is 70 and is just mad powerful KSVSNSH 😔

Chapter 191

Hehe the king ☺️

THAT WAS SO RANDOM AJGSJSGEJSG i love this mf

FUCK HOW SHORT IS RETSU OMG 🥺

1.76 HE'S SO TINY HE'S SHORTED THAN DOPPO OMFG

also if y'all wonder how I'm doing my jaw is currently trembling and i think i have a fever, but it's fine, we getting to 200 today boys

I really don't care much about Katsumi but he has a very shaped face i won't lie, his eyes are very pretty too. STILL DONT CARE BOUT HIM 🙄😒

They just throwing hands these mfs ffs

Katsumi that's a bit too far don't you think?

A fuckin pussy out sort of luck i see

Chapter 192

I hate smooth Retsu sm let him keeps his face wrinkles ffs

Obsessed with these lads

ANDRE MY MAN look at him

EVERYBODY IS GETTING IN THE WAY FR SPUGPYDOTSÑD

I love how these characters say <3

Fucked up to beat up a wounded man tho NGL :/

OH FUCK HIS ELBOW NO

Chapter 193

Idk man after 180+ chapters Retsu's body doesn't look that wild to me

I know he will lose bc uh, Retsu obviously? But man i really like this Russian

Kozue that's how every match is

Hhhh 😬

He's dead.

Chapter 194

OH MY GOD HIM AGAIN?! HHH FFS!!!

VAMOOOS KATOU

Hey they aren't doing the white lips thing anymore that's sick

Motobe Latino /j

OYFPUTDPUTDPUTDPID

NO MY MAN KATOU IS NO MATCH TO YUJIRO NO ONE IS NOOO 😢

Chapter 195

Monkee

MY BOY BAKI GETTING THAT GOOD OL FLASHBACK HUH BAKI PTSD MOMENCE

YEET

Chapter 196

LSHLSHEKEBSJSHSVS IM LOSING IT

Look at the cocky mf man sjsgdhd

I must say i love the progression of Baki's personality

ANDOOOO

Chapter 197

Katsumi is deranged

My health problems are solved btw

I honestly hope Katsumi wins, for the honor of shinshinkai exclusively

Doppo looks so proud of his son 🥺

These mfs so childish ffs

...how is he that small 😭

I really don't understand any of these people

Chapter 198

I love seeing Toba just around doing shit like yeah king you go. My nostalgia enjoys his presence

Toba king i don't want to see you on a wheelchair please-

Toba baby you are going to die and horrible death and i will hate to be the witness of it

LSHSJSHSKHWKSHS ???

He's dead 😔

SHOUT-OUT TO THE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO COMPARED TOBA TO THE TERRAFORMARS ROACHES 😭😭💀

Chapter 199

Igari right? He's dead too. I have less doubt than anyone else, Hanayama is a beast.

THEHWHSHHS 😭 WHY DOES HE HAVE TO OPEN BOTTLES LIKE THAT FFS

Different? Idk man he looks the same to me

Chapter 200

Like it's not just brawling man if anyone the size and strenght of Hanayama did anything they would win no matter what, this mf is a beast

THAT'S SO MEAN THEY WERE SUCH BESTIES OUGH MY HEART 😢💔

I'm sorry, he's gonna get WHAT? 😳

Ndhskshskhdkd obsessed

THESE MEN OMFG.... IM LOSING IT

So glad at least SOMEONE is still a bro 😒

HANAYAMA BRO??? IM BETTING ALL MY MONEY ON YOU BRO PLEASE

Obsessed he didn't even realize

THANKS HANAYAMA PHEW I WAS GETTING WORRIED FOR A SECOND THERE!

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

And that's it for tonight, adiós

[nagiscap]

nice to meet you - chapter 117 review!

im adding the chapter name to the the title i think it is an important addition. i just wanted to give a quick update on what im working on so there are two requests im churning out rn and i am close to hitting 100 followers so i am planning on doing some type of 100 followers drabble, ficlet or smth like that event! okay without further ado let’s get into this chapter WARNING!! there will be SPOILERS AHEAD!! 

rin is giving me very ignored brother energy rn. the sae copycat behaviour is quite sad but i would love an explanation for why he is the way he is because this was quite comical to me and i was trying my best to contain myself bc i was reading this chapter in my photo class 

so basically the key to their success is practice makes perfect and itoshi rin’s awakening hmmm idk if i love it or hate it but it makes enough sense where i am not thinking wow what extreme plot armour so i am okay with it 

this mf is crazy and i love him like he really is going leaps and bounds to protect the goal which is impressive and oliver also i rlly like this panel and this chapter in general with the ball movement it looks extra good this chapter and idk why 

he is a bit of a meanie a little bit of a trash talker and i like it i like the zest 

kinda reemphazing my point from before (practice makes perfect mantra) i mean the blue lock bois did work rlly hard especially compared to the u20 team which rlly just seemed to beef bc of sae’s and shidou’s crazy asses so in a sense it does make sense that practice is a factor that makes blue lock “better” than the u20 team idk if i explained that well lmao 

the defense on the u20 team is crazy the keeper doesn’t even have to do shit oml but fr claps to them holy moly they are sacrificial 

YUP I AM BACK ON MY BS LOOKS WHO IS BACK GO BOYFIE GO DO YA THANG

ok subtle nagi evolution like i am feeling this rn as a nagi stan like yes we love a little technical development i am curious if this will occur for everyone on the team especially bc imo i think blue lock will end with a team and not just one striker this is just my opinion tho lol 

YOU TELL EM KING EXACTLY SPEAK UR NAME INTO EXISTENCE LET THEM MF KNOW WHAT NAGI DO LEGEND BEHAVIOUR YUPPPPPPP OFC NAGI THE ONE TO BRING BLUE LOCK BACK INTO THE GAME OFC NAGI IS SUPREME DUH 

i just found this to be vvv funny and a lil cute

YUP YUP YUP THIS AINT THE END OF NAGI SUPREMACY AS NAGI SAID NICE TO MEET YOU THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING AHHHHHHHH 

japan is shook to the core bc nagi did what a king do they couldnt handle it loser behaviour displayed in 4k nagi is dissapointed but i got his back lmao anyway i love seishiro nagi he is a king icon legend god etc. this chapter like others proved it again this is the nagi content i needed and i was waiting for it too because it’s been a bit of a drought and the last time we saw him it was lowkey loser behaviour but he bounced back cuz thats what legends do 

[riceccakes]

Earth, Wind, and Coffee: Chapter Two Analysis

chapter one analysis

welcome back to another installment !! idk if many people are reading this, but i enjoy analyzing my writing so i’m gonna keep doing it :) let’s get started, shall we?

some fun stuff before we start!

the first scene i wrote for this story was the dock scene

usually, when i write, i kind of just start with whatever is the first thing that comes to mind. i’d had the bulk of the story outline in my head, not written yet, but i knew i wanted this reveal about the red lotus attack. so i started with it and wrote as far as i could before deciding i should start the beginning of the fic. most of the original content is there, with some stuff added on, but i took a turn from my dialogue as it didn’t fit the narrative of the story anymore (well get to this point in a later chapter analysis, don’t worry)

not me being heavily inspired by LOVE WITCH by bisexualyoda

around the time that i started this fic and was really writing for it, i found this story on ao3 and literally read whatever chapters were out at that time in a day. it was a story that also influenced me to write in asami’s pov, as a majority of the story is from hers. (this isn’t the only reason tho, but bisexualyoda is a writing god and what else could i do but try to honor them?) it’s a stellar korrasami fic that you should read if you haven’t yet and if you haven’t yet, what are you doing, please go enjoy that masterpiece

and into the chapter we shall go:

i kinda thought it was cool to play off this idea of a barista who can’t sleep but it’s not because of the coffee like you’d expect. 

now, being a diehard korrasami fan, i knew i wanted to apply this to my girls. and, i knew from the get-go i wanted korrasami to meet as if it were more book four, where korra has gone through something really terrible and asami is a really good friend who’s there for her. so i thought it might be cool to put the two together and korra is a barista who can’t sleep. then it was getting to what exactly the trauma was that korra experienced. i didn’t want anything as severe as what korra went through in the series (our poor girl was wrongfully put through the wringer for four seasons) but i wanted something that would stick with her and still haunt her, even after a period of time. my favorite book is book three and i loved the red lotus antagonists, so i played around with their concept and turned it into what’s in the story. i was really pleased when i came up with this and only made some minor changes (i had originally explicitly given korra insomnia. i decided to change this and keep it more ambiguous because i didn’t want to inaccurately describe insomnia and somehow offend anyone who does experience it, i hate doing that) and then i was set to really start the fic.

more about povs:

so, when i first started writing this fic, the idea of multiple povs was an option. in the end, i chose only asami, for a number of reasons, but mostly for one in particular

just like asami, i wanted you guys to gradually learn about korra’s situation. sure, i could’ve went through korra’s pov and been all secret secret about it, but something about that idea doesn’t sit well with me. i liked the idea of gradual connection and in turn concern. i sprinkled some little stuff here and there, to hint that something’s up, but i feel like that’s the hook for you lil fishies to grasp onto. even in that very dock scene, i don’t give it to you right away; i dance around it, just like korra does by talking about tenzin and the temple and i mention the water and korra’s jacket and anything but the reason why korra’s called asami at 2 in the morning to come see her. this kind of tension, this kind of urgency to know what’s going on, i just don’t think would’ve been achieved had i had alternating povs.

something i really love about this chapter is how the first section and third section ends

Makeshift Boardrooms ends with korra being a complete angel and going above and beyond for asami and this presentation:

Asami is speechless. Inside, the tables and chairs have been set up as if it’s a long boardroom, fit with the donuts in the center of the table no one can ever reach. At the far end, a projector screen is set up and a loading screen is displayed on it. Asami stares at the girl, unsure of how to convey how appreciative she is for the gesture.

“Korra��”

“I know,” she quickly speaks up, her fingers behind her back fidgeting even faster, “it’s a lot, but I thought you should get the best kind of practice! And, we hosted a movie night here a while back, I wasn’t sure if Tenzin left all the equipment here but I found it all in one of the cabinets in his office and I,” she’s looking at the ground now, “is it all right?”

“All right?” Asami questions, truly confused as to how Korra could say such a thing. She reaches out, slowly, gently, placing her hand on Korra. The girl’s hands fall to her sides, Asami’s fingertips slowly linger down from the bundled fabric of Korra’s rolled up sleeve to her forearm.

now, A Turn of Events ends like how we know:

Asami falls back onto the couch, ill prepared for the unexpected burst. Korra continues huffing, gasping for air, clutching at her chest and running a hand through her hair. Asami reaches out again and that’s when Korra flinches again. She starts to sob.

“Korra…”

“Get out!”

Asami sits, staring. She isn’t sure if she heard right or not. Korra begins shaking, sobbing inconsolably. Asami just wants to reach out.

“Get. Out!”

Asami grabs her things and rushes towards the door, taking one final glance behind her shoulder. Korra’s hands cover her face, her body flinches and shakes, her sobs ring loudly in Asami’s ears. 

In between each desperate gasp for air, she can hear Korra whisper, “Please, please, stop, stop, please, stop, please.”

Asami feels her heart sink and she opens the door to leave.

i’ve bolded what i love most. it was actually unintentional, i’d only noticed after i finished the chapter and was reading through to edit, but it’s kind of beautiful, bittersweet even. there are parallels here, some less noticeable than others, but parallels nonetheless. the lingering of korra’s name is direct and the events after are strikingly different but in a way connected. in Makeshift Boardrooms, after the mention of her name, korra is sputtering word after word. in A Turn of Events, after the mention of her name, korra only says two words. it’s two sides of the same coin, showing how korra is unfortunately spiraling out and losing control of what’s going on with her. typing it out is kind of hurting me, seeing how korra’s in pain, but im the author and i know what happens later so i shouldn’t worry too much.

now getting onto asami in this section, still, the lingering of korra’s name is the most noticeable parallel. but, in Makeshift Boardroom, after korra responds, asami reassures the girl with physical touch, she’s able to reach out to her. in A Turn of Events, after korra responds, asami doesn’t react, she doesn’t know how to. korra’s in front of her, clearly in pain, and she just yelled at asami, and still asami just wants to reach out to her. once again, unintentional that this happened, but sometimes it’s the unexpected things that turn out for the best. the diction i have here, in repeating the word reach, i think it just further drives home how heartbreaking this chapter’s turned out to be. (shout out to the section title, cause things really did take a turn here) it had all seemed so good, korra was opening up to asami, they were getting closer, and then all of a sudden BAM korra has a panic attack and in a moment of utter fear, she pushes away asami. i know i put angst in the ao3 tags, but now going over it as the author, i see my angst has really gone above and beyond, but hey, i really liked how this chapter turned out

honorable mentions:

in LOVE WITCH, asami and kuvira are basically besties and i loved the idea of their friendship and i wanted to have a go at it myself! finding kuvira’s place in the story, however, was a lil tough to navigate, but when i came up with the bodyguard idea, i really liked it. i hope you guys do too :))

idk if you guys noticed but outside formal fic/writing settings, i pretty much only type in lowercase. however, i do type in complete sentences and the only abbreviation i really use is idk so don’t mind me lowkey projecting onto korra here. anyways, i know most phones have the default setting for texts to be first word already uppercase. i have mine turned off but figured korra would have hers on cause 1) she prefers it this way and 2) even if she wanted to turn it off, she doesn’t know how to. plus, i liked the idea of her enjoying emoticons better than emojis. i love emojis but i always do a lil sideways smiley ( :) ) and to me it’s super cute and i’m sure korra would see it the same way

the end of this chapter is not what i had first intended! truth be told, i didn’t know what exactly was going to happen at the end of the chapter, but i knew what would happen after it, i just needed a bridge. in my og timeline, i had a couple different options: the one i almost went through with was asami suggesting they move into together (which is admittedly super soon and super fast so like, it would scare off korra), another was something intimate that would still scare korra off (this one wasn’t too elaborated on, perhaps a forehead touch, or super close faces, idk. obviously this doesn’t happen, but it had been in consideration), i’d actually even considered something physical, but that was quickly cut off the list, as that is NOT how i wanted this story to go. anyways, because of how this chapter ended, the whole rest of the story changed and i couldn’t be happier.

anything i would’ve wanted to change?

im still super self conscious about the length but at the same time, also not, idk how to describe it. anyways, i think what i actually would’ve liked is keeping something from the Home Life section i took out. when i first wrote it, asami actually had a desk mate and he was flamboyant and sassy and i loved him. looking back now, i would’ve loved to have kept him and the scene with him, but i took it out cause i was scared the chapter was too long. after reading everyone’s comments though, about how they don’t care how long chapters are/longer chapters are better, i gave myself some more slack with the last chapters. his name was ryuichi, rip ryuichi

surprise epilogue is out now too, so enjoy the rest of the fic! if you have any questions, feel free to ask :)))

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[actuallyrandomperson]

My thoughts on the Sanders Sides Spotify playlists- Virgil Edition!

Note: this is Purely me saying whether or not I like the songs, not theorising about any deeper meanings. I’ve done them all, so just click on the names to see my reactions to the others: Patton, Roman, Logan, Janus

Impressions from looking through the playlist: I don’t specifically know most of the songs (I know more of the bands), but I feel like that’ll be a recurring theme as I tend to stick within my very specific music taste and only add songs to my playlists if I hear them while I’m out and about and like them enough to find them on Spotify, which means my horizons aren’t broadened very often. The ones I do know do not surprise me that much (neither do the bands, for that matter), as they feel very Virgil

1: ‘Sunrise, Sunset’, by Bright Eyes. I didn’t mind it at first? But the chorus was a bit too,,, shouty for me. Probably Definitely a song I’d skip if it came up on a playlist in the future, as much as I liked the tune(/melody?). Not surprised to find it on Virgil’s playlist though, it gives off Angst. Was very in my face as I tried to continue reading fics.

2: ‘Lets Kill Tonight’, by Panic! At The Disco. One that I have probably heard before, as while I myself didn’t have an emo music phase, an ex friend did. I liked it more, as I expected to as I tend to like p!atd’s songs. Not one that I’d go out of my way to listen to again, but has been added to my 32 hour long playlist on Spotify (not my slightly more curated 10 hour one tho, but I mostly play the 10 hour one while doing work or while others are around soo). Once again felt like it suited Virgil, (as I imagine all of them will, so I might just call out ones that feel Odd if any do.)

3: ‘Sally’s Song’, by Amy Lee. It might shock some of y’all, but not one I’ve really heard before! I live in Australia so Halloween’s not a massive thing and I actually don’t know that many people who’ve watched The Nightmare Before Christmas. Thomas is actually one of the main reasons I know that the movie exists. I really liked it, unsurprisingly, so it too made its way to my 32 hour playlist (not the ten hour one, but only because I try to keep mostly ‘normal’ songs on there so there’s not that many songs from movies in it)

4: ‘It Ends Tonight’, by The All-American Rejects. I recognised the band, but not the title. I think I’ve heard this before though- I didn’t love it, but I didn’t hate it. I wouldn’t skip it if it popped up in a playlist at some stage in the future, but I haven’t added it to either of my playlists.

5: ‘I’d Hate To Be You When Everyone Fonds Out What This Song Is About’, Mayday Parade. Very long title (ok, I know in emo song title standards it’s not even that long but as I said I didn’t really have an emo phase so these sorts of titles always shock me) that slightly confuses me (who’s you? why is what the songs about bad for them??), but I liked it! Is now on my 32 hour playlist. I suspect that at the end of listening to all of these it will be longer than 32 hours.

6: ‘A Decade Under The Influence’, Taking Back Sunday. Another one that I liked enough that I wouldn’t skip it in the future, but didn’t add to my playlist. I just didn’t vibe with it enough. Happened to line up with Roman having a Bad Feeling™ in the fic I was reading tho so that was entertaining

7: ‘Thks fr th mmrs’, by Fall Out Boy. This was the first song to invoke feelings of Nostalgia™ in me, and I’m kinda shocked it’s not already in my 32 hour playlist. That has been remedied. This song was played a fair bit in my childhood, both on the radio and by an older sister. I imagine a lotta people my age had a similar thing. Obviously one I Love. Got me to stop reading in favour of being a doofus by lip syncing and dancing around while lying in bed (and deafening my eardrums as I turned it up louder) during the chorus.

8: ‘Be Calm’, by Fun. This was the second song that I didn’t recognise either the title or the band for. I liked it, even though the initial warped carnival-esque tune thing made me think of Pennywise. Pretty much as soon as the singing started I added it to the 32 hour playlist. It might make its way to the shorter one one day, as I actually really like it. It’s just a bit odd, and as I said I try to keep that playlist to more ‘conventionally normal’ songs as it’s designed for me to be able to play around other people without getting weird looks.

9: ‘I’m Not Okay (I Promise)’, by My Chemical Romance. Let’s be real. I would’ve cried if this song wasn’t included in the playlist. You would’ve cried if this song was not included in this playlist. If all of their songs aren’t in their respective playlists I’ll be disappointed. This song being in the playlist prompted me to go back and rewatch that episode. so many jokes originate in that ep. also we only knew one name back then? and the dark sides were barely a blip on our radars??? how????? ok back to the song- not my favourite, but I wasn’t expecting it to be. Probably won’t skip it every time it comes up in the future, but it’s definitely not my cup of tea.

10: ‘Imaginary’, by Evanescence. I laughed when I realised this was next up, as rewatching the q&a reminded me that Virgil said they were his favourite band so I’d noted that I had to look out to see if any of their songs were on the playlist. I liked it enough to add it to the 32 hour playlist, but wouldn’t go out of my way to play it in the future.

11: ‘Soft Shock- Acoustic Version’, by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. When this started my first thought was ‘oh, I think I’m gonna really like this one!’ and my second was ‘I’m kinda surprised it’s on Virgils playlist, but it feels right somehow.’ (It made more sense as I listened to the lyrics, I think I was just massively caught off guard by it being acoustic). I hadn’t heard of either the song or the band before this, but my initial instinct was Correct and it has in fact.... made it onto the ten hour playlist!! Hell yeah!! I actually liked it enough to listen to the og version as well, which I still liked but slightly less. (Also I have heard some of their music before as I realised looking at the album this came from that my one of my sisters used to listen to them, which I’m not that surprised about as we have Similar tastes in music)

12: ‘The Good That Won’t Come Out’, by Rilo Kiley. I liked this enough to consider adding it to my 32 hour playlist, and the lyrics were interesting, I just didn’t vibe with it that much. 🤷‍♀️

13: ‘Sick Sad World’, by Nervus. The bands name feels very apt for Virgil. I liked the rhythm of this one, and it was also a Certified Mood tbh. Got added to the 32 hour playlist!! Also made me wanna hug Virgil.

14: ‘Ignorance’, by Paramore. I wasn’t expecting to love this, as I don’t remember really liking much of Paramore’s music in the past even though I know I must’ve heard some, but I didn’t hate it. Didn’t get added to either of my playlists, but I probably wouldn’t skip it in the future.

15: ‘The Ice Is Getting Thinner’, by Death Cab for Cutie. I was expecting to like this one, as one of my favourite youtuber’s fave songs is a death cab for cutie song and I really like it as well. I did like this one quite a bit, but it only made its way onto my 32 hour playlist.

16: ‘Overkill- Acoustic Version’, by Colin Hay. I didn’t mind this, but didn’t like it enough to put it on the 32 hour playlist. I possibly would like the original version more, but I can’t be bothered finding it especially given my first impression is just meh

17: ‘Under Pressure’, by My Chemical Romance. I didn’t love it as much as I love the original, but it did prompt me to check if I’d added the original to my two playlists. Apparently I didn’t, even though I was listening to a Lot of Queen when I was deeply entrenched in good omens.

18: ‘Everything is Alright’, Motion City Soundtrack. I liked this one! I think I might’ve heard It before, but it’s been a while. It got added to the 32 hour playlist.

19: ‘The Middle’, by Jimmy Eat World. I didn’t recognise the title b u t I did recognise the song. Obviously. Because I’m a gen z with older siblings. It was the second big nostalgia feels song, which was made even stronger by me not immediately recognising the title (unlike thks fr th mmrs). Was added to the 32 hour playlist as soon as I realised what song it was

20: ‘Vindicated’, by Dashboard Confessional. I knew this, but mostly from a music podcast called Punch up The Jam so hearing it in full was weird. Added it to the 32 hour playlist but wouldn’t go out of my way to listen to it again.

Final thoughts: I know I said I never had an emo phase in music, but I do actually like a lot of it even tho I was never That Kid, so I was kinda expecting to at least like a lot of these songs. My favourite song was definitely Be Calm, closely followed Soft Shock and Thks Fr Th Mmrs. 12/20 got added to my 32 hour playlist, and 2 (I eventually decided my love of Be Calm was strong enough for it to be an exception) to the 10 hour one!

@thatsthat24

[blondetheftauto-fr]

Introduction of Dragons (that have lore/planning to have lore)

So, I’m gonna give a quick run-down of the dragons in my lair, both for my own records and because I like sharing.

I have a lot of fan dragons, and will tag each of the fandoms that the dragons are from. So if the tags seem a little weird, its because I have fan dragons.

It’s also gonna be long, so I’ll stick this under a read more to be considerate.

So, to start off, I’ll introduce Siani. She is my Progenitor, and the one I picked out the colors for. She is also one of the few dragons I used the Scattersight thing for, and she got rare Lightning eyes! I plan on turning her into a Snapper (even tho I really love her as a Fae too), and giving her the Shimmer secondary. She is my baby girl who inspired me to go back to lightning after being in the Ice flight for a long time.

As for lore, she is currently the leader of the Clan, and is extremely determined to keep the Clan in the Lightning flight. I did exalt both of my progenitors a couple times, mostly because I was frustrated with myself at being unable to come up wtih lore, but I was able to incorporate both the rare eyes and the exalting into her lore.

Next up is Isavar! He is the random progenitor that I got, and by god were his colors really random. I think I’ve scattered his colors 3 or 4 times before I got this one, and I’m actually really happy about his current colors. He kinda reminds me of a copper coil (especially so when I turn him into a Spiral). He definitely needs a few genes (morph, bee, glimmer), as I diverted my energy towards getting Siani genes early on. He is also one of the few that I used the Scattersight on, and he also got rare Lightning eyes! Really pleased that I got both of my progens to have the rare Lightning eyes, even tho I wanted them to get primal.

For lore, he’s just as determined as Siani, albeit a little more laid back. He also leads the clan, but mostly just follow’s Siani’s lead. I haven’t actually written his lore in the bio yet, but he’s similar to Siani in terms of story, just more of a follower because he gets distracted and Siani is the better leader anyway.

Next is Fianite, only because she’s next in the lair order with lore planned. She is a fan dragon (like 75% of the dragons in my lair) of the Goddess Fianite from the Minecraft Series Mianite (more like a fan idea of a series. shes a fan dragon of a fan idea of a joke). Her ID is also nice to look at (# 41444765).

For my lore, she’s the Deity Preacher for the Nature Flight (even tho she has quirks with sea related stuff, which is still a work in progress for her apparel). She’s kind of mischievous when no one’s looking, but otherwise behaves.

I have Deity Preachers for each of the flights I thought about joining. Thought about Nature because of the aesthetic, didn’t go for it because of the eyes. I like my electric blue beauties.

Mianite is the next one in the lair! He’s one of the first few hatchlings that I ever had (from Rinemia and Salazar, whom I got very, very early on). He’s another fan dragon, of the god Mianite from the series Mianite (hope you’re sensing a pattern here, I’m trash).

Lore-wise, he is a Deity Preacher of the Lightning flight, and as I am currently in the Lightning flight, he is the current Head Deity Preacher. He does have lots of light aesthetics, but that’s because he’s a fan dragon, and no other reason tbh. He likes to act strong and big, but he’s definitely got a temper when it comes to Fianite and Dianite’s antics.

Next is Ianite. As you may have guessed, she is another fan dragon from the Mianite series, of the Lady Ianite. I think she’s the first stained dragon I ever owned, and her sapphire primary goes really well with her cherry tert.

She is a Deity Preacher for the Shadow flight. I love the eyes, and had considered going to it after wanting to leave Ice flight, but the eye update came out and the shadow primal eyes really scare me tbh. She acts forgiving, but she definitely doesn’t forget wrongs done to her. This does not apply to Spark, because he has done no wrongs to her.

Next is Spark. He is also a Mianite fan dragon, but from season 2. He’s one that I hatched myself, although I have sold/exalted both of his parents. I may switch him out for a shadow dragon, or a dragon of a different breed, I don’t really know yet.

He is Ianite’s apprentice (nevermind that he’s an Ice dragon), and would do anything for her. Beyond that, I have no ideas for him really.

Furia is another Mianite fan dragon. I really like the secondary, as it makes it seem like her wings are on fire, and the glimmer really matches the mask (?) that Furia has. Her ID is another one that is nice to look at ( #41444081).

In lore, Furia is the assistant to Dianite, and I’m thinking I might make her one of the guards? I don’t know about that yet. Very fiery temper, and quick to bite. Seems very loyal to Dianite, but could be persuaded with valuables to go against him.

Dianite is the next dragon, yet another Mianite fan dragon (and certainly not the last one either). I really love his primary and the way it does his horns. It’s actually because of the horns that I bought him, as it just matches season 1 Dianite so well. When the fire halo comes out, he’s totally getting one.

He is the Deity Preacher of the Light Flight. I had originally considered joining the Light flight due to dominance wins but decided I liked the eye color of the Lightning flight more. Dianite loves to cause Miantie grief, and loves the light from lava and other hot items.

Gasp! Rea actually isn’t a Mianite fan dragon! But she is a fan dragon of one of my OC’s from a Minecraft series I’m doing. She’s one of the first ones you come across in my lair with the Kelpie mane, which I use as blue hair. Yes, the OC has blue hair.

She works with Baldwin a lot, and is one of the Head Scientists of the clan. She likes slime and goo because its fun to put her hands in. She is in charge of keeping track of all the Baldwin ingredients. Very forgetful tho, but loves her job.

Deimos is another fan dragon, of the same series that Rea is from. I really love the babies that come from his and Rea’s nests. 

He is the Grand Vault Master and Grand Treasurer, in charge of the more high-value items that I keep in my vault and all the treasure and gems in my hoard. Loves looking at expensive items, hates spending money to get them.

Here’s Kim! She’s a fan dragon of Kim Richard’s Minecraft skin (Yogscast fan dragon). The Smirch is as close as I could get to the flux, but I did pretty well, I think. She is one of my Coli dragons (one of my first level 25 dragons) because I chose her, Duncan, and Blight to train for the first time. I’m thinking about turning her into a spiral, but then I would have to change Blight and Lalnable and Duncan too. One day, though. One day.

Kim is an apprentice to Duncan, and one of the few shade infected dragons in my lair (similar to the flux for her). Duncan keeps her grounded, though, and doesn’t let her drift far into her thoughts. Otherwise, a very bubbly and excitable dragon (hence, why I want her to be a Spiral).

Duncan is a fan dragon of Duncan’s Minecraft skin (also Yogscast fan dragon). He was a bit harder to find for the genes, but I think these genes work fairly well for him. He’s also one of my first level 25 dragons, and on the same Coli team as Blight and Kim. He also came from a hatchery, which you can find in his bio.

Duncan is an alchemy master, and another head scientist in my lair. Very mischievous too, but somewhat knows when it’s inappropriate. Cares for Kim, and keeps her grounded. Has a grudge against Lalnable for tricking Kim once.

Blight, my baby girl. She hatched from the first elemental egg I had ever gotten (Plague), and I absolutely loved her colors. It wasn’t until a whole lot later that I realized she had perfect colors to be a fan dragon of SpecimenFive (also a Yogscast fan dragon), and I didn’t even have to change the name! She is the first in my plan to get an egg of every flight and hatch it into a dragon that I keep. She was the third of my first three level 25 dragons.

In lore, she is an apprentice to Lalnable and shade infected. She embraces it moreso than her counterpart, Kim, but doesn’t get drawn into it as much as Kim does. Lalnable was the one who found her egg and hatched it, determined to have an apprentice like Duncan did. Likes to antagonize Kim.

Lalnable Hector. If only Flight Rising would allow spaces. For now, it’s just Lalnable. He’s a fan dragon of Duncan’s evil alternate, Lalnable Hector (from Yogscast). I absolutely love the Current secondary on him, totally looks like a blood spatter. If only I could get that on his lab coat.

In lore, he only holds the title of Alchemy master because of his more unpleasant habits. The meat he eats certainly doesn’t look anything like what the other guardians eat, and his unsettling personality certainly doesn’t make them want to ask. Found Blight’s egg and hatched her, taking great care to make her like him. Likes to antagonize Duncan.

Druid. My baby, I love her so much. She’s a fan dragon of my own Minecraft skin from a spinoff Mianite series that I do, and I absolutely adore the way she looks. The kelpie mane for blue hair once more, and the roses go really well with the rest of her aesthetic. Plus she’s a Guardian female, which is my favorite dragon to look at (if you couldn’t tell from my icon both here and on FR).

In lore, she used to be the leader of the clan, shortly before Siani and Isavar took back control. Not to say that she didn’t hand it over to them willingly, she knew it was time for them to take control. As much as she loves to lead, it gets exhausting for her. She loves her girlfriend Malinalxochitl (if only, FR) and would do anything to protect her mate. Currently, she is in control of the distribution and production of food (true to my Southern US heart). Sweetheart, she really is.

Malinalxochitl. God is her name a mouthful, but I thought it would be better to have my head of the guard named that rather than Pancake. I know this dragon is a male, but it’s a fan dragon based on a female-oriented OC of the same Minecraft series that Druid is from. For trying to recreate a literal ball of fire, I think the poison/toxin really did it justice.

In lore, Malinalxochitl is the head of guard (one day, I will get her to level 25), and the coordinator for the clan’s dominance. She is deeply in love with Druid, and will do anything to protect her. Seems somewhat standoffish, but Druid gets her into a blushing mess (do dragons even blush? this one manages to).

Rinemia is one of the first few dragons that I ever got. She was given to me by a friend, and I absolutely love her soft colors. The Starwood Veil was also one of the first few festival apparels that I ever got, and always thought it fit Rin perfectly.

Rinemia used to be the leader of the clan, when it was first pushed to the Ice flight. She is motherly in tone and rule, and guides with a gentle hand as best she can. Now, she coordinates the festivities of the clan, and helps make sure that enough festival currency is in the lair to get required items.

Finally skipping a few dragons that have no plans for lore, here’s Israphel. He’s a fan dragon of the Minecraft series Shadow of Israphel (Yogscast, once more). It’s kind of hilarious that he’s a Light dragon.

He’s a Grand Shade Mage, and the reason for the Shade infected dragons of the lair.  No one can prove that it’s him though. Very unsettling to interact with.

Honeydew, the first Snapper to be in the clan. He’s another fan dragon of Simon Lane’s Minecraft skin (Yogscast). Again, ignore the pronouns I use.

Honeydew is extremely good friends with Xephos. Keeps his mind in the right place most of the time. An absolute sweetheart, although he can be a bit of a smartass. He loves his friends dearly, but that won’t stop him playing tricks on them or calling them out on their stupidity. Loves sweet things, and Corgis. 

This is Xephos, the poor boy. He’s the first Ridgeback in my lair. Fan dragon of Lewis’s Minecraft skin (Yogscast).

Xephos is very good friends with Honeydew, who is the only one who can keep his thoughts from straying too far into the shadows. He is the first dragon in the Clan to become Shade infected, from Israphel himself when Xephos was fighting the Mirror to keep Honeydew safe. Sharp personality that goes well with his sharp tone of voice (and sharp nose ehehehehe).

Spell. One of my friends bought his brother, showed him off, and that’s how I got him. Absolutely stunning dragon. Love his hatchlings with Celeste.

Court Wizard. Aloof, and smirking constantly. Not an asshole tho. That’s all I got for this boy.

Primal. God this boy is hurt. I’ve also scattered his colors like 3-4 times. Half tempted to do it again. My first Primal hatchling, back when I still lived in the Ice flight. He hatched like, two or three weeks before I moved actually.

In lore, his birth was the push that caused Siani and Isavar to take back control of the clan and lead them back to the Lightning flight. He’s shunned by half the flight, and loved by the other half. He has a really weird existence, but Gigglefrost and Hellfire make sure he feels as home as he possibly can with his ever-snowing eyes.

Charisma. Not my first radioactive xxx, but definitely my first one with lore.

She’s a bard. Likes singing and lutes. That’s it, but it’s enough for me.

Tea. The oldest dragon in my lair (born March 15th, 2015). 

She’s a healing witch. That does not stop her from making harmful potions for her enemies.

Galahad, my second elemental egg hatched (Shadow boy).

Loves the sea, and loves Charisma, although he’s afraid to show it.

Sightseer. My first Multigaze dragon, although by far the best one I could have hatched. I immediately bought him a Sprial change scroll, as he was a Skydancer before, but I only like Multigaze on Spirals. Currently a hatchling, he grows up tomorrow tho.

Seer, if the name didn’t give it away. Can see into the future, just can’t control when or where.

Hellfire. Protector of Hatchlings, and mate to Gigglefrost. Think of a silent grandfather that always gives off this stern vibe, but absolutely loves kids.

Gigglefrost, my baby girl. She was the first dragon given to me by my friend HonorDawn12 on FR. 

She is the caretaker of the hatchlings (that’s to say, all the hatchlings and for-sale dragons go after her). She loves telling them stories and keeping them entertained.

Good god was that long. But that’s a general run down of all of my lore dragons / dragons that are planning to have lore. If you want to check out my lair here’s the link: http://flightrising.com/main.php?p=lair&id=338843 I haven’t got lore for any of the dragons yet, work gets in the way, but my profile has got general clan lore.

[smireyac]

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020 

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!! 

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing.... 

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe...... 

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year...... 

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ??? 

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr 

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something 

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!! 

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!! 

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao 

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now.......... 

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol  

so yeah 

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

[kjammofficial]

OP from FB

So apart from watching youtube videos and sharing some reshared content on facebook, I haven't actually been socially active lately.

My messenger is blowing up and I haven't responded to a lot of messages. So, it's not that I'm not replying to you. I'm not replying to EVERYONE. Apart from asking some recommendations and replying to some pages who I need to get in touch with since I have a transaction with them. Other than that, anything else that's personal has just been lying around in my inbox.

Anyway, I've been pretty much out for the count, especially after what happened last time. I'm still pretty bummed out by it so I'm trying my best not to pass on my shit to anybody else. This is definitely going to be a looong ass extensive posts. Coz' here' what I thought, instead of making multiple posts about my shit, I'll just sum it up into one big pile of shit, right?!

First off, if you're selling something, right. Like, you're not a store, but a person just trying to make a living, selling your services, be sure to know how to treat people right. I was speaking with someone about getting some shit done and since I'm not familiar with the process, I had to ask, right? This mofo started laughing and proceed to tell me that I... "should come back and talk to him when I know what I was talking about." In this particular case, pricing. Holy shit the nerve of this dude. Okay, so I lost some money recently, that ain't no secret. But the audacity of this person, telling me, as if I ain't got nothing to pay for the shit I'm asking. You sir just lost 1 good possible customer. You seem to be doing well on your own anyway, but FUCK YOU anyway for looking down on me. I'm not a rich guy, but I know how to work around my finances and I CAN BUY SHIT THAT COSTS WAY MORE THAN WHAT YOU THINK, FUCKER! So yeah, I'll gladly tell more about this via PM if you're interested to know what this is so you too can avoid the person. The lesson here is, don't talk shit to potential customers. Whether you know or just think that they could probably afford shit or not, never straight up laugh at your customer. NEVER!

Alright, so that's enough screen time for that fucker. Next, sooooo.... I forgot what's supposed to be next. I think I was gonna write something about what happened. Oh, right. So, I recently lost my entire paycheck due to some issues around the house, right. This one's a bit too personal and even on private messages, I won't go into details about it. But, here's the thing that's annoying. You know how you prepare for your shit, and even though you're not good at planning. You desperately try to plan things out, just to make sure that you won't astronomically fuck things over by yourself, since you know how much you can get screwed over by your own. Right?! Well, la-dee-daah, look who screwed me over. Someone who didn't prepare for their own shit and now, for some reason, I had to deal with it. What did it cost me? 2 months worth of planning go poof, and 1 month of unpaid debt (cash loan). So, I'm still figuring out how to get back from that. I seem to have enough time until when my next paycheck comes, I haven't planned it yet though. Who knows what the fuck might screw me over by that time. I'll just have to sit it out and improvise.

Partially ditched my (closest) friends again, over a video game dispute. I mean, shiiiiiit I loooove me my video games. I can even say to some extent, it's all I have, next to them. And they just keep pissing me off for some stupid reasons. Like, yeah it was pretty dumb to be mad about it, but in my point of view, I was pretty certain they were aware. Like they were aware of how I am with games and probably not with any other games, but this game in particular. I'm not gonna state what game it is just for... whatever. I just don't understand... Okay so here's the thing, whenever I go dark, they eventually come to a point and ask "what's going on? Tell us what's wrong." So after you tell them what's wrong, you get that security that, these set of people are aware, they know how they should deal with your BS. Right?! Then here comes me throwing shade, and they just give up instantly. Like, I don't understand the point of me explaining to them what's wrong with me if they immediately, instantaneously give up, right?1 Like what's the point of telling a story, if after saying the lesson the reader just goes "let's do it again." I hate to say it but, while it is true that most of the time that we have "the talk" is between alcohol, but I gotta admit... it's sad when they just seem to pretend to listen. It's stupid how it started from video game dispute to not listening, right? Like I'm some kind of moody s/o or something. But that's how I feel, I mean, that's the best that I could explain how it feels. So, Idk, I'm not exactly writing this other than for my own pleasure so, eh... Not my problem if you can't translate.

Also, I've been unfollowing news outlets and skipping anything I scroll past that's political or covid related. I've actually been doing it ever since like April, but this time I'm almost hard committing to not getting involved. I mean, sometimes I get into flame wars in the comment section just for the heck of it. But I try to go into flame wars that I know I'm certain to win haha. Like, fr tho. I don't wanna get burned too much. But then again, I still also do my best to stay away from anything related at all.

As I'm writing this I actually paused a game I recently received as a gift. NieR:Automata™. I've been wanting to play this for a while now, especially when I found out that this is basically a bigger story-centered version of Stanley Parable did. I was like "oh shit, I gotta play this game." I'm not sure if I have been spoiled already when I saw reviews before, but hopefully, my description of the game here, doesn't ruin it for those who haven't played it yet too. Also, you have some dedication reading this post if you've made it this far. If you did, do send game recommendations. I like the ones that have an absurd number of multiple endings. I blame Stanley Parable for this, but I just really fancy the idea. Or at least a confusing one, like Control. I haven't played it yet but it's been out for a while. I know I wanted to play it since it was teased, but I never got the chance to grab the game yet, when it recently dropped in Steam. I was indeed spoiled about something about the ending, so, probably after NieR, my lists are as follows. (I'm not gonna make a bulleted list coz it'll be easily seen when anyone clicked "see more" and people be like "meh, just a bunch of lame gaming posts") So my lists is, for big title, I'm waiting for WD: Legion and CyberPunk 2077. Then comes Detroit become human, Control, Beyond: Two Souls. I have a bunch in mind that I wanna play but these are my focus for now. That's after I finished NieR.

Well, you've made it. You somehow read through this entire thing. I gotta say, I  actually had a lot of negative shit to posts. But I think my YouTube-ing, actually helped. I have been watching Smosh Pit. Holy guacamole Smosh is hella different than when I was first watching it back in 2010-2012. Anthony has long since left, and Ian has just been awkward to watch, sometimes. He looks like "when the boss tries to look quirky like the employees" whenever he's in a video, lol. But him and Anthony did establish the whole thing up, he probably got stuck to it after Anthony left. Since, you can't really just leave your legacy to a bunch of other people, right? Anyway, idk why I'm talking about that so.... You know the unfortunate thing is, after all this, nobody still really cares. Doesn't matter how much effort I put into socializing with people. After everything that I've gone through, once it's all said and done. At the end of the day, all I really have is myself. I think I've come to a point now that I've been doing self-love too much, that I've taken myself for granted. So, I'm just like "whatever" now. Nothing matters, we're all shitty people, we're all just a bunch of gas moving around, we're all gonna die, nobody's gonna know us as soon as 5 years after we died.

This is probably the only time I'm gonna say this on facebook or any of my other socials as I'm gonna try to hide it. I'm gonna do my own vlogging again. BUUUT it's not gonna be on anything that can be monetized. It's gonna be just my personal vlogs. I'll have it in my tumblr, what's my tumblr, that's for you to figure out. I've missed vlogging, and not the modern fancy ass vlogging that you see in YouTube. The vlogging I grew up with is literally just a video-blog/vlog, like a diary. So you take a video and you keep it somewhere. I didn't wanna upload it actually, I was gonna have it as a keepsake. But just for the heck of it, I'll put it in the internet so it's there forever. Unless tumblr gets taken down or do a friendster/myspace. So, yeah, I haven't posted anything yet, nor had taken a video. But as soon as I started rolling, I'll post it there and it'll just be a memory of me.

So yeah guys. Idk why you're reading this but thanks for your time anyway. Ya'll have a good one. I still don't feel like socializing but for my sanity's sake, I'll try to get back into responding into your messages. It's probably good for me too (I think). Byyeeeeeeeeeee~

Fin