#fox.sys
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ah reynes here again
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I should do like. a fuckin headmate kink census. make things a lot easier
#sometimes ill be super into something and sometimes it jusy doesnt clikc and im curious ro find out why#somethings are probably obvious (reynes a dom. adelaides a little. songs a plushie) but like theres other stuff thags everyone? maybe#iunno its confusing and i still have trouble telling whos who and whos around if im not activrly trying to focus on it#fox.sys#do i have that tag on this blog yet
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imagine: a foxgirl who’s ears and tail and hair are made of cuddly plush~
good news you don't have to!! that's me!!!
#or at least. thats song!!!#but with more fox#its hard to explain#fox.sys#been a while since we got to use that tag#asks
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#think. i may have split again#explain tbe dissassociagion from the last few days anyway#could be red? i dont think its red#fox.sys
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it's weird bc sometimes I have a very distinct sense of who's around and in charge? and sometimes I notice Mannerisms or Feelings and I have no idea who they're coming from but I know they're coming from Someone In Particular
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Hm. Trying out the name Reyn for a bit
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oh also. it's been a year
#and honeatly were just now starring to get the hang of. everything.#do we get cake. i should make us a cake.#fox.sys
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Update on last night and identity rambles and stuff
Ok so. I'm reminded of when I was digging deep into therian stuff around. 2015-2016? And I couldn't nail down what I was/wanted to be besides some sort of small canine. Which now makes sense because I'm not just one small canine, I'm at least three, simultaneously/in fluctuating amounts.
And name stuff! For a while I was struggling with pronoun stuff (trying various combos of it/they/she) but it wasn't the pronouns that were wrong, it was the name.
I don't have just one name because I'm not just one person (?).
I think I was denying it for a while because like. I don't have memory missing? I don't 'switch' who's in charge (I don't think I switch). Which is kinda what I assumed systems were/did. But something just feels...right about saying I'm not a single person in here.
And like. Is it aspects of personality? Is it actual alters? Are some of them OCs floating around? Fursonas? How do you even tell. I don't know yet but I'm gonna take things as they come and try not to worry about it.
So as of right now.
fox (no caps) is a name for the group. Any pronouns I don't care anymore.
Bailey - possibly the main (?), Possibly a face we were putting on as a mask.
Song -
Kit (Ash?) -
Reynardyne -
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I feel like a dam burst and I have words again now. I can talk and socialize and and and and and. This has been a while coming. But something about yesterday broke me open and I can let things out now.
#shakes self like rag doll. THIS is how you know its real dumbass#fox.sys#whats a good file extention i can use for the tag#.exe?#i dont remember enough about linux to make this joke
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Feeling very plushie tonight and finally learned why
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I haven't been posting about it or journaling like I said I was gonna buy. Plural stuff is hard huh
#i want to work on myself and figuring our everything but brainfog real#capitalism motivation timesink real#who has time for self reflection when theres dishes to be done and bills to pay and apartments to look for and moving to plan#and vacations to prep and laundry to do and and and and and#its like it never ends#anyway. set up pluralkit today. might try that out in a few places#fox.sys
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It feels like. Hm. It feels like sometimes I'm Kit, and sometimes I'm Reynardyne, and most often I'm not anyone but they're both also there.
Like. They are me but at the same time I'm not anyone, I'm just projecting personalities to make myself feel like a person.
Ah. This is an autism related thing isn't it. And the fact I've been unconsciously masking since I was like. 6. Fuck.
#this should be a journal post but i dont care i want human connection and other people to care about me#fox.sys
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Calling names into my brain like Starbucks orders and seeing who responds
#luna? is there a luna in here?#got a tall cold brew for Song??#fox.sys#...god i could go for a cold brew right about now
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At some point I need to make a proper intro post I guess
There's 3-4 of us in here. Reynardyne, Song, and Kit. Bailey may or not be a conglomeration of everyone or its own facet, I don't know yet. I'm not sure how to tell? Because Bailey is still the name I use irl. It's complicated.
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It has been less than 48 hours. You do not need to know everything. These things take time. We will sort ourselves out. Don't worry.
#fox.sys#this is a journal entry but im putting it here too#i think ?? this is reynardyne speaking (writing) ???
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Why can't things be easy
#why must everything feel like trying to move through molassas#why wont my phone fucking charge#these are all questions we must find the answers to ourselves#(you can tell when reynardyne takes over we get way more vebose all of a sudden(#and also we make many more typos#fox.sys#anyway. tired
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