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Pour it Up Masterlist / Stripclub Owner Sukuna headcanons
Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight (final)
Pairings: Stripclub Owner Sukuna x Stripper F!reader
Summary:- You are a single mother, your baby daddy is not just worthless, he also is actively trying to sabotoge you, so you go out on your own and raise your kid by yourself. Struggling your ass off, a friend of a friend named Toji decides to offer you a hell of a deal, a few hours a night at a strip club to make BANK. While there, you meet the other owner, Sukuna, and the moment he sees you? You annoy him how beautiful you are, how much he wants you, pushing him to insanity. He knows he must have you- no matter whose ass he needs to beat.
Warnings:- reader is a mom, lowkey/highkey Yandere Sukuna behavior (He's obsessed) recreational drug use, drug dealing Sukuna (the club lowkey a front lol) Mafia ties, EXPLICIT sexual content, blow jobs, cunnilingus, fingering, masturbation, teasing and mafia related violence, some former trauma of reader, lots of smut and also fluff, watch Kuna morph into a softie hehe.- Ties into the Satoru x reader story Losing Control Now
FInished- WC 54k - ao3 link here - Playlist
Headcanons/story preview below!

Stripclub Owner Sukuna- who loves what he does, the money he makes, the women, the entire atmosphere. What more could he really need in life?
Stripclub Owner Sukuna lights up a blunt with his co owner, Toji, as they lounge back on one of the bright red Sofa's, watching their girls dance around them while they hold business meetings. Sukuna certainly doesn't mind beautiful women, nor does he mind snorting coke right off them.
Stripclub Owner Sukuna throws back a shot, when suddenly he sees someone so different, so fucking pretty it makes his heart thud in his chest. He can barely stop himself from yanking you right away from this. He's slicking back pastel hair when Toji introduces you so casually, wearing a pretty silver bikini that shows too much of your sexy body. You look shy? You look nervous?
Stripclub Owner Sukuna takes your hand then, smirking at you, watching the blush decorate your cheeks, when he finds you're going to be a dancer, he immediately wants to say no, dance for just him, a level of possession he's never even felt with his girlfriends. Sukuna's shared plenty of women, but if he got you!?
Stripclub Owner Sukuna smacks Toji for even bringing you here later, and Toji scoffs. 'She has a kid and shit, she'll make top dollar here' Sukuna falters at such news. 'Don't ya think she'll make bank?' 'Tch, of course she will... it's just she's so...' Toji snorts. 'you got the hots for her, huh? Well she ain't some easy girl, I know her'
Stripclub Owner Sukuna knows he must have you, when you're stepping around the stage, and he's eyeing you, sitting right in front of the stage as you get on your knees, crawling toward him and smiling shyly. 'how're you a shy stripper, huh? not gonna work' he huffs, and you tilt your head, hand slipping down his tie. 'No allure in a shy dancer, Mr. Sukuna?'
Stripclub Owner Sukuna loses his mind when he hears his name spilled from your glossy lips, as he thinks of shoving his cock deep inside that mouth, so close to his when you turn. You bend over, ass right in the air, begging for a smack as you look back at him, hair falling over your face. 'Why're you here?' he demands, eyeing the curve of your back, cock hard like he's some pathetic teenager or something.
Stripclub Owner Sukuna tenses when you say - 'I need the money, isn't it why everyone does this?' 'Toji says you got a kid' you tense then, turning toward him nervously, as the stagelights glimmer all over your skin. 'That a problem?' Sukuna shakes his head. "Nah, lots of girls here do...' You exhale. 'I'm a single mom, my friend can watch her at night, why not work while she's asleep? I can spend my time with her'
Stripclub Owner Sukuna admires the fuck out of you as you dance your pretty ass off, but he hates the men that see you, see you in just your little bottoms and tassells, breasts bouncing, ass jiggling as you shake it, as you move. You're a whole star quickly, the few hours a night you come in you make bank, but as soon as you leave, he's in his office, jerking it to you, imagining those nipples, that pussy he sees hints of with your spandex panties.
Stripclub Owner Sukuna On one particular night forgets to lock the door, you're still out there dancing but he can't take it, you're too fucking sexy, he's picturing burying his face in that nice ass of yours as you step inside, shutting the door quickly when you see it, his enormous dick in his hands, covered in precum. You gasp, looking away quickly. 'shit I'm sorry, it's my ex... he's such an ass and I didn't want him to see me...'
Stripclub Owner Sukuna pauses, in shock as you look back down at him, licking your lower lip. 'I'm interrupting...' you come closer though, watching, breath catching in your throat. 'Want me to beat him the fuck up? ruin him?' Sukuna murmurs, voice husky, when you keep walking towards him, and he slowly strokes, from the base to the tip of his veiny length, acting so casual. 'No, you don't have to do all that, you're already so good to me' he laughs then, shaking his head. 'You are, maybe I should... be good to you?'
Stripclub Owner Sukuna can't form a thought when you're stroking his cock, leaning so close, lips just a breath from his, taking two of his fingers and sucking his precum off them, cheeks hollowing. Sukuna loses his control then, using those two fingers to slip so deep you cry out, earning his groan, uncaring if anyone heard. He's curling them up in your walls as you stroke, his eyes laser focused on your pretty face when he grips your hair by the nape of your neck. 'wanna suck me, huh brat?' he tries to keep it together, but when you nod eagerly, on your knees, he can't take how good your throat feels.
Stripclub Owner Sukuna has his cock fucking up into your throat, his salty precum against your tongue, and he wonders if it's some dream it has to be, you're too fucking beautiful to just be doing this, you shouldn't even be working, he thinks. He'd like you just naked around his house, to fuck you on every surface, fill you up with so many kids you'd never leave. Sukuna is groaning while you suck him greedily, looking up at him with dilated, beautiful eyes, making him simultaneously want to fuck you and want to make love to you, stupid insane shit that irritates him.
Stripclub Owner Sukuna stutters when you suck harder, and he's cumming deep in your throat, not meaning to. No he wants to fuck your pussy, not this, but you make him cum so fast it's stupid, swallowing him with a pretty smile, as you lean up on shaky legs. He presses a kiss to your lips, desperate and messy, tasting all of his cum all over your mouth. You're gasping, until the door opens, and you pull apart, seeing an amused Toji. You are losing your mind later as you clean up to go home, wondering what's gotten ahold of you, when Sukuna is waiting right outside.
Stripclub Owner Sukuna loves it when you look down so shy and pretty, you're biting your lower lip to death, he releases it from the grip of your teeth. 'you free tonight, brat?' you blink in confusion. 'you want...' 'want you at my place, spread wide f'me, yeah?' you gasp at the thought, shaking your head then. 'I'm not, I have to get home to my kid... but tomorrow night?' he nods, ushering you to your shitty car, picturing you in something so much better soon, leaning over with a smirk as he seatbelts you in.
Stripclub Owner Sukuna now that he's had a taste, he can't stop thinking of you, when you're at work the next day you're quickly in his office again, this time he's got you grinding on his lap, slick arousal pooling in your little outfit. 'I'll fuckin pay you triple, take the day off' "Mr. Sukuna...' 'Take. The. Day. Off.' Sukuna finally gets you home, having you bent over his couch before you can blink, ripping your pretty costume to shreds, pumping you so full of his cock you're trembling, shaking, head falling back as he fills you so good, slamming your cervix.
Stripclub Owner Sukuna has never felt anything like you, like your cunt pulsing around his cock, like his balls slapping your twitchy little clit, as you're sobbing it hurts so good, tears streaming down your pretty face while he rails his cock so deep. Sukuna busts deep in you as he wraps a big hand around your throat, fucking into you over and over, feeling you milk his cock for all he's got. 'Gonna fill you the fuck up, huh brat? gonna drip on the goddamn stage'
Stripclub Owner Sukuna has your pussy on his mouth when he's busted in you, starting to lap all the gooey white cum from your pretty pussy. 'Sukuna! ah!' you've never felt like this, so fucked out as his tongue scoops all your cum out, he's leaning over you, spitting it right into your mouth, chuckling. 'pathetic, just how I fuckin need you'
Stripclub Owner Sukuna is pathetic for you, he doesn't let you leave, he pays you for another day, fucking you in every position, at some point he's holding you upside down, you're bobbing on his cock as he's gripping your ass, moaning against your hole, you're falling apart, so weak and sore. when you finally have to go home, because you have your kid, Sukuna can't stop thinking about you, about how he wants you to have his babies, to be under him every goddamn night, so excited when you come into work, only to see you devastated.
Stripclub Owner Sukuna demands to know what's wrong, only to see your shady ass ex, who wants to saunter up to him like he's shit, you shake your head, but soon Sukuna is beating the fuck out of him. 'you have no clue who he is, Mr. Sukuna...' you tell him then, earning Sukuna's chuckle, his big grin. 'You don't know who I am, baby'

Buy me a glass of wine🍷 - Gen Masterlist - ©All works by Madamechrissy you may not reproduce
#sukuna smut#jjk smut#jujustu kaisen#jjk x reader#sukuna x y/n#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna#jjk sukuna#divider by cafekitsune#jjk headcanons#yandere sukuna#masterlist
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toji who has never known a day where he was good with money. toji who has never experienced financial stability a moment in his life. he’s a gambling man— a man of trinkets and risks and bets. he knows he’s good enough to win any fight he’s in, finish any job he starts, find a way around everything, so he thinks his luck has to transcend into money. he always takes that shot because today’s the day, i can tell.
toji who, after the first time he met you, stored away exactly five hundred yen that he refused to touch for the next time he saw you and you wanted a coffee. he keeps it with him all the time, tucked nice and neat in his thrashed wallet for safe keeping.
toji who, before your first date, pawned one of his last worthwhile possessions to take you somewhere nice. he knows this isn’t sustainable, so for the second and third he plans them around jobs.
toji who stops wasting a dime at a bar. he hates drinking anyway. he doesn’t get takeout anymore— instead has become quite the mediocre chef. he limits his gambling from four races a week to one.
toji who stops picking up the big gigs. it infuriates shiu, but toji waves him off with large fingers and a gruff noise. instead, he focuses on little jobs. smaller paycheck, smaller duration, more time home.
toji who will never change for anyone. this is his life— this is the life he’s given himself for, he’s lost for, he’s given blood, and sweat, and arguably tears for. but, when you nuzzle your way deeper into his life, he does practice harm reduction.
toji who gets a bank account on your two month anniversary. he opts for checking and savings, although savings ever hardly sees the light of day.
toji who, while he has been a man of work forever, has never worked like this. he washes his sheets once a week, cleans dishes, picks up trash from his drawers and the floor and the poor excuse of a futon he calls a couch.
toji who becomes a man when he meets you. toji who understands finally what it means to want to provide. toji who practices the best way he can to be good to you. toji who, if you ever did ask, would give it all away for you.
toji who didn’t know loving someone in turn meant he had to love himself until he met you.
#toji x reader#toji fushigro x reader#toji drabble#toji headcanons#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#older boyfriend toji#toji fluff#older toji x reader#toji x you#toji fushiguro x you#jjk x reader#jjk x you
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red carpet reveal | drew starkey



pairing - drew starkey x gf!reader
warnings - none
summary - drew brings you to the outer banks season four premiere even though you're relationship is still under wraps. well, until it isn't thanks to a pushy reporter.
masterlist
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the 'outer banks' premiere is in full swing and you're so grateful you get to experience it with drew for the first time. you're buzzing with excitement, the flashing of cameras and excited fans screaming as the cast makes their way onto the red carpet feels surreal.
"you doing okay?" drew asks, gently squeezing your hand.
you nod, looking up at him with a smile, "more than. go shine you superstar."
he chuckles and his hand gives you another comforting squeeze before letting it go and opting to rest it on your back. the way he looks in that suit, flashing his signature smile to the cameras, makes you wonder how the hell you even let him out of the hotel room.
as drew is ushered into many different interviews, you keep to yourself, staying mostly in the background and out of shot. you don't mind this, always having preferred to watch him in his element. he talks with so much passion and excitement that you could, and do, listen to him for hours on end.
the night seems to be going perfectly until it's not. the problem? a leggy blonde who's seemed to make it her life's mission to interview your boyfriend. you claim to not be the jealous type, but you can already tell the type of questions she's going to ask by the way she stalks over to him, eyes not so subtly looking him up and down with an exaggerated smile on her face.
"so, drew," she begins, her voice already annoying you, "you're looking very handsome tonight. outer banks season four! what's it like to still be playing the hottest character on the show? you are literally the internet's boyfriend right now."
he's here with you, don't let it get to you are the words that keep repeating in your head as drew politely answers the question, but you know she's attempting to flirt with him.
"what does your family think of the show? i'm assuming they're very proud," her eyes briefly flicker over to you and she turns her attention to you, "you must be such a proud sister, right?"
you scoff, not only at the question but at the condescending way she's talking to you, like you're a child.
"uh... she's not my sister actually." drew chuckles awkwardly, his free hand coming up to scratch at his neck.
her eyebrows raise in surprise before her shrill voice cuts through the air, "oh sorry! well, it's so thoughtful of you to bring your friend to the event."
yes, you've both agreed to not directly make your relationship public, but god did you want to set the record straight. the way her hand kept grabbing his arm throughout the whole interview is making your blood boil.
before you can say anything, the interview continues and she pays you no more attention. drew's patience for this is wearing thin, but he's determined to remain professional, not wanting to go viral for lashing out at someone for doing their job.
"coming back to my earlier point about being the internet's boyfriend, how's the love life? tell us, do you have your own sofia yet or are you still available?" the interviewer asks, playful flirtation coating the words as they leave her lips.
drew's arm unloops from yours and slides around your waist to pull you slightly closer to him. he's not trying to out your relationship, just reminding you he's there.
his eyes narrow slightly in annoyance at the question, "i... uh, well it's my personal life. wanna keep it personal."
"come on, not even an inkling of an answer?" she insists.
you've had enough of this woman and, quite frankly, drew has to. he's ready to walk off but you don't let him, instead moving to face him with your back to her.
"what are you doing?" drew leans down, whispering in your ear.
before you let yourself overthink what you're doing, you grab the back of his head and pull him into a kiss. everyone around you is in shock. cameras are all turning toward the two of you, and the fans are screaming even louder now. the kiss isn't a subtle peck or quick goodbye kiss. no, it's a kiss that is telling the world he's yours and no amount of bad flirting will take him away from you.
when you pull back, your cheeks are flushed and drew has a stunned smile on his face. your eyes suddenly widen as the realisation hits you like a train of what you just did, and he can tell that a million thoughts are going through your head.
"hey, stop overthinking it. i'm glad you did it," he starts before whispering, "meant she finally shut up and stopped trying to flirt with me."
relief washes over you and your tense shoulders drop as you let yourself relax. you don't even want to think about the social media reaction right now.
"umm," the interviewer clears her throat, "i guess that answers the question."
you grab drew's hand before looking back at the woman, "i think we're done here."
#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey imagines#rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron imagines#rafe cameron x reader#outer banks#outer banks imagine#outer banks imagines#obx#obx season 4#rafe obx#trevor hellraiser#queer#queer drew starkey#poguelandiarafe#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x female reader#drew starkey x you#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey x female reader#rafe cameron smut#drew starkey smut
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outer banks premiere and surprises — DREW STARKEY
authors note the new season is so good!!! watching part two trailer makes me even more excited. what do you guys think of it?
taglist ⤕ if you would like to be notified every time i post you will type in your username then be all set.
summary surprising drew at the outer banks premiere for season four. he thinks you are on tour but you made time to support him.
warnings cursing, mentions of flashing lights, kissing, and celebrating season four of outer banks.
You carefully walked out the car with your hand holding one side of your dress so you don’t fall. You thanked the driver with a kind smile before walking towards the red carpet with your manager. The sound of fans could be heard the closer you got.
The season four premiere of Outer Banks is tonight, and you plan to surprise your boyfriend, Drew Starkey, on the carpet. Except for Jonas and Drew's father, no one is aware of your impending arrival.
You recently started touring for your newest album― it's been an absolute blast. This night is very important to Drew and you are glad your next show is two hours away so it was perfect to surprise him and see his reaction.
You were glad to fit this surprise last minute.
When you get closer to the crowd of people butterflies form in the pit of your stomach— more so excitement and enthusiasm. Security led you through the entrance where everyone stood for pictures and fans waiting to interact with the cast.
Drew was in the middle of taking pictures in front of cameras and fans behind them— he looked so good in his suit. Few fans turned their heads when they heard security taking on the radio and their faces lit up seeing you.
Oh my gosh is that Y/N?
She’s here to surprise him watch
My parents are finally together in front of me
Drew turned his head in your direction where all the commotion was— he was in disbelief seeing you walking over to him looking stunning from head to toe. Smile forming in the corner of his lips, opening his arms for you.
"Hi baby!" You squeal softly, looking at him with affection and joy. You stand on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek— he smells wonderful with the new cologne you bought him.
"I'm so glad you are here," he says with a grin, clutching you closely to his chest.
As you two walk away, you turn around to face Drew's father, hugging him and asking how things are doing. You approached his father first about the surprise, and he was all for it.
Paparazzi wanted to capture a few shots of Drew and you together. You two couldn't take your gaze away from one other the entire time. The butterflies in your stomach had not faded the moment you arrived.
Drew and you approached fans and took pictures, signed autographs, made films, and so forth. You stayed by Drew's side the entire time rather than being the focus of attention— this is about him and his cast members. Tonight is all about him and the cast.
"I love your new album Y/N, and I'm going to your next show in two days," one fan exclaimed, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes as she looked around sixteen. "Aw, thank you so much, gorgeous—I can't wait for you to be out there," you say softly, leaning in for a big hug.
"Y/N I can't believe you are here!" Madelyn gasps in surprise, pausing in her tracks and placing her palm on her chest— jaw dropped.
You look over your shoulder, squealing with delight. "Surprise, Missy," you say aloud, raising your arms.
The rest of the cast followed, engulfing you in a frenzy of hugs and enthusiastic conversations. Drew couldn't stop smiling, and his arm never left your waist while you socialized with friends. Conversations went smoothly, with laughter resonating in the air.
"When I saw you with Drew, I was like no way that's Y/N" Chase explained as he re-created his initial reaction seeing you.
You laughed as he told you, "The only people who knew were our managers and Drew's dad." You pointed to your's and Drew's managers, then Drew's father talking to Madison.
It was great to see everyone again and catch up on things that hadn't been mentioned. It felt like it had been years since you last saw one other.
"You look so good tonight, baby," you nudge Drew with a quiet whisper, "too good, I might add." You smirk nonchalantly, which immediately draws his attention—dragging his hand down your back, drawing you closer to him.
"May I just say the same thing about you because I think I need an inhaler?" he asks with a flirty grin.
Inside the auditorium, they watched the first half of the show, your hand interlaced with Drew's. You could feel his joy and pleasure in the work they had all done for the new season. And he could feel your steadfast support, your presence anchored him.
Drew's performance throughout the show was incredible—he was always giving it his all and keeping in character without breaking. Rafe's character development is much more obvious this season than it was in the first. Throughout the show, you would lean into his ear— sending chills down his spine. You whispered encouraging things to him.
Shortly after the first part of the show, an announcement was made about an after-party to which everyone was invited. Obviously, everyone was looking forward to attending and celebrating.
Everyone had access to food, desserts, and drinks at the after party. Music was played while everyone sang along to the songs. This was one night to remember. Drew and the cast were ecstatic to celebrate yet another outstanding season.
You found a calm spot with Drew. He wrapped his arms around you, bringing you closer. "Thank you for being here," he whispered quietly, his eyes brimming with love. "It means everything to me."
You grinned and leaned in to kiss him gently. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be," you said quietly.
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#drew starkey/rafe cameron 🍒#drew starkey#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x singer!reader#drew starkey imagines#drew starkey fanfic#drew starkey smut#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey x you#drew starkey x female reader#outer banks#outer banks blurb#outer banks season 4#outer banks fanfiction#outer banks imagines#outer banks x reader#outer banks cast#outer banks x you#outer banks x y/n#rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron imagines#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe outer banks#obx imagine
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if you’re their sugar baby… (18+)
… price
- absolutely spoils you. adores giving you anything you want. if your gaze lingers in a shop window, he’ll buy you whatever’s in it. you suspect he’s infiltrated your phone somehow, because anything you look at online will show up on your doorstep a few days later. he takes you to private jewellery fittings and sits back with a glass of whisky while the jewellers puts glimmering necklaces and earrings on you.
in return, he likes showing you off. regularly takes you out to restaurants so expensive they don’t even list their prices on the menu. spoon feeds you black caviar and picks out the correct wine, the bottles so old they still have wax seals on them. loves seeing you wearing the dresses he buys for you, revealing the fleshier parts of your body that the rest of society tells you to hide. always wants you to wear diamonds in your ears when you’re his date. nothing is ever too expensive if it’s for you.
takes you to a luxurious hotel after and fucks you good and well in the satin sheets. goes back to base before you wake up the morning after, and leaves a generous cash tip on the nightstand in addition to the monthly four digit payments transferred directly to your bank account.
… kyle
- takes care of you. a sergeant’s pay is low compared to a captain’s, but it’s still a substantial amount and much, much more than you make. enjoys having a pretty lady to spoil. any visit to the hairdresser or nail salon is on him. will occasionally request a specific colour for your nails, and you know it’s to match a dress he’s bought you, waiting for you at home.
takes you dancing, spends the whole night downtown and treats you to high-end street food at three in the morning. you get fancy cocktails and colourful shots and anything else you want to try. if another woman gets close to him on the dance floor, he makes a point out of feeling you up, splaying his hands over you wide hips and soft tummy.
takes you home to his and you both fall right to sleep, waking up past noon the day after. arranges a massage for you to help with your hangover. sits in on the appointment and flips your towel up to eat you out when the massage therapist leaves. reminds you to use the credit card he’s given you in between your orgasms.
��� johnny
- whisks you away to scotland when he’s off duty. borrows the family cabin in the highlands and accommodates you both in the master bedroom, spending the cold nights in a grand bed with a heavy pelt covering the duvet. loves the fantasy of having a big, soft secret stowed away in the mountains.
spends the days hiking with you or takes you down to the coast, where you watch the wild waves and enjoy cottage pie in a local pub. asks for the finest whiskey, refusing anything but the best for you. tells you all about the history of the old stone kirk of the town over steaming mugs of spiked cider.
lays the pelt out on the floor before the great fireplace in the living room and grins when you mention the cliché of it all. remarks that clichés exist for a reason and pulls you close. your skin grows goosebumps in the cold air of the cabin, but the fireplace (and the rigorous activity on the pelt rug) warms you both up. lays with you after, smoothing his hand over your side and enjoying how your soft body gives way to the pressure of his fingers. pays for first class on your flight back home and gives you cash enough to cover both rent and supplies for the month. makes out with you messily at the airport before you part ways.
… simon
- takes you along to all his going ons outside of active duty. enjoys having a partner in crime, so to speak. in the military he’s a lone wolf, so when he’s off he just wants to have you for company. price thinks it’s a good idea for him too, to at least pretend he has some normalcy in his life. you oblige. he takes you to all his mundane errands; groceries, changing the tires of his car, walking the old bridle paths in his area.
has you tucked in under his arm when the footie’s on in the evening, trays of hot takeaway on the sofa table. if you can’t decide what you want to order, he has you list everything you’re interested in and orders it all. entertains your questions about football terminology and plays with your hair. pulls a blanket over you when you’re close to falling asleep and turns the volume down.
herds you to bed after a little while and so enjoys having a warm, soft body to put his arm around at night. to you, it’s all so casual and natural that you almost forget it’s an arrangement, but he never forgets to pay for your company according to your agreement and always tips generously.
doesn’t say it out loud, but likes it when you straddle him on the sofa and lets him feel you up and make out with you until he comes in his pants like a schoolboy.
#idk what a sergeant earns#john price#captain john price#john price x reader#john price x you#kyle garrick#kyle gaz garrick#kyle garrick x reader#kyle garrick x you#john mactavish#john soap mactavish#john mactavish x reader#john mactavish x you#simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#cod mwii#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#task force 141#tf 141#sigh straight from the heart
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luxurious
“ champagne kisses, hold me in your lap of luxury ”



parrings: rich!heeseung x fem!reader
synopsis: in which the intimidatingly rich heeseung is absolutely and undeniably down bad for his sweet little girlfriend
genre: romance, fluff, drabble/headcannon
warnings; vulgar language, suggestive (more towards the end), lowkey kinda subby heeseung
bella/sugars notes: first little writing thing idk💔anyways do we fw the layout??
not proofread!
rich!heeseung who doesnt even care if youre using him or not. hes literally just so down bad that he only cares to have the ability to be close to you and spoil the shit out of you. as long as youre by his side he doesnt care, he’ll be right at your feet. he might not admit it to your face, but the feeling of swiping his card for you really turns him on. the larger the price, the better.
you were at a grand mall with him, one of those ones where it seems you have to be wealthy enough to even look in the direction of (his idea), when you were glancing at a painfully pricey but gorgeous dress for a second too long. being attentive as he is, he notices and leans closer down to your level and says; “you should get it, itll look beautiful on you”. you hum, looking at the price tag and slightly wince at the sight of the four digit number. “yeah, but i dont need it, and i dont want to waste your money on unnecessary things.” he finds it so endearing how youre still worrying about money after all this time. “but you want it, no? dont worry princess, this wont even make a dent in my bank account. go try it on pretty girl.” he replies, gently patting the small of your back before calling over a worker to help you out, not giving you the chance to say anything else.
rich!heeseung who worships the ground you walk on. you ask for anything and he hands it to you on a diamond platter. initially, when you first started dating you were hesitant to ask him for things or favours in fear of him getting the wrong idea about using him, but he insisted so much with those pretty doe eyes in which you only get to see, you couldnt even say no.
youre about to leave to go on a nice date with heeseung at one of those stupidly expensive and fancy restaurants he booked. when you go to put on your pretty heels, he stops dead in his tracks and says; “dont move a muscle.” youre obviously confused but comply before he walks over to you in all his glory and gets down on his knees, picks up a heel and takes your foot with the utmost care and ever so gently slides the shoe onto your foot before taking the other and sliding it on with same amount of gentleness. he gave the top of your soft, exposed foot a feather-light kiss before he looks up at you from the ground like the happiest man alive, and goodness did he feel like it.
rich!heeseung who loovvess calling you adorable pet names. he basks in the way a rosy blush spreads across your soft cheeks as your eyes subtly sparkle when he calls you something sweet. on his part, he just feels so fortunate that he can even be acknowledged by you. he loves the way his name rolls off your tongue, and it sends electric shots through his body when you call him something endearing.
“here’s a small snack angel, i picked out your favourite fruits and biscuits” he says softly as he makes his way towards the couch youre sitting on, plate in hand. he always makes your food for you because he doesnt believe his personal chefs can make it perfect enough for someone as perfect as you. he puts his heart and soul into your meals, even if its small snacks like this. “aww, thank you sweetheart!” you exclaim with a bright smile on your face after tearing your gaze away from the tv, reaching out for the plate. he swears he almost died on the spot by how the butterflies were violently banging against his ribs.
rich!heeseung who cant stand being away from you. he can also only fall asleep in your arms. at first he was able to go off on sleep calling, but it soon got so bad to the point that he has to take you on business trips with him. he just needs to physical contact with you to fall asleep. the way your arms wrap around him, fingers gently threading through his dark locks as he nuzzles into your neck, wanting to be impossibly closer. he loves the way your sweet sugary scent envelopes him and lulls him to sleep.
a smile grows on his face as he finally sees you walking through your shared bedroom door after an eternity (it was 10 minutes), all fresh and finished with your skincare. he scooches over on the bed to make room for you and pulls back the covers to silently invite you in. upon getting into bed, he immediately wraps his arms around your waist and tangling his limbs with yours as his nose nuzzles into your bare neck, smiling against it and taking in the intoxicating scent of your hairwash. you wrap an arm around him in return, using the other to gently scratch your nails against his scalp through his hair, sending shivers down his spine and earning a satisfied hum from him. “goodnight, darling” he says, already half asleep. “sleep well, seungie” you reply, pressing a sweet kiss on his temple. his heart rate speeds up at the sensation.
rich!heeseung who cant help but be all soft and mushy with you. people go as far to say hes a completely different person with you. they know him as sharp and intimidating, but when he’s interacting with you, all they see is a lovesick puppy, gazing at you longingly with hearts in his eyes as you speak.
heeseung is in his office, talking to a freshly hired servant, a stern expression on his face before you walk through the door of his office. upon noticing you’re interrupting something seemingly important, you say “oh! im sorry, i didnt notice there was a meeting going on in here.” you were about to leave them be and close the door before he intervenes, “it’s okay angel! come over here actually, i should introduce you.” the new employee is startled by how fast he just switched up. one second heeseung was firm and scary, the next he was all soft, as if speaking too harsh or moving too fast will shatter you. he doesnt take his eyes off of you as you walk over to his desk, making your way next to him. as he looks back at the servant, his expression turns cold and his voice is once again sharp. “this is my girlfriend, Y/N. whatever she says goes. you touch her, youre dead.” he states, a hand sitting protectively around your waist. heeseung looks back up at you from where he’s sitting on his chair, his features warming up instantly and his eye’s brightening. “yeah, princess?” he says, looking for your validation. you nod, giving the servant a look close to apologetic. its safe to say the new servant is scared shitless.
rich!heeseung who gets super desperate for you while kissing or making out. the feeling of your soft lips moving against his makes him weak in the knees and powerless. he’s completely at your mercy, hands firmly on your waist, almost shaking due to the sensations.
you tug at his hair, guiding his head to where you want him to be as he whines into your mouth, not caring for whoever’s listening. he kisses you so desperately and needy that you cant help but want to give him more, so when you graze your tongue over his bottom lip, he immediately obeys, opening his mouth, allowing you to slip it inside. after a moment, you pull back slightly to catch your breath, lightly panting as you relish at the sight of him, all sweaty, hair sticking to his forehead, flushed face, hazy eyes. “please,” he begins, “please dont stop, not now. please keep kissing me, i’ll get you whatever you want, i— i’ll do whatever you want!” he begs, almost at the verge of tears, assuming youre just gonna leave him hanging like that. you smirk at him before leaning back in, practically shoving your tongue down his throat. he whimpers at the feeling of your tongues clashing together and your fingers pulling at his dark locks. he might even do it in his pants right there, without being touched.
“ i only wanna fly first class desires, youre my limousine ”
#enhypen#enha#enha x reader#enha imagines#enha fluff#heeseung#fluff#enhypen fluff#lee heesung x reader#heesung enhypen#jay park#jake sim#sunghoon#kim sunoo#jungwon#nishimura riki
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falling behind | spencer reid
Summary: During a movie night with Spencer, he confesses to you that he feels like he's falling behind, having never kissed anyone. You offer to catch him up.
(based on laufey's falling behind)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!bff!reader
Word count: 2.4k
Warnings/tags: spencer's first kiss, s1/s2 spencer, best friend reader, kissing, mentions of sex, some angst at the end.
the divider
"I think you need another bookshelf, Doc," you say, narrowly dodging a stack of books that comes up to your hip.
You’ve let yourself in for your traditional movie night that’s become far and few ever since Spencer started at the FBI. His days off are rare, but they’re always spent with you. You hang your coat and scarf over Spencer’s designated hook for you. Spencer’s putting about in the kitchen, cups clinking.
"I've been trying to find one at a flea market," Spencer says from the kitchen.
"Even though flea markets give you the heebie jeebies?" you call back, flipping through a thick hardcover about ancient Rome. Aaaand that's a naked man. You close the book. Spencer’s the mature one out of the two of you. That’s why he’s got books about Rome and you don’t.
"I'm not crazy about bringing home furniture that was once in someone else's house, though it’s usually very cheap. Still! They could’ve had termites. And that’s a best-case scenario. You won’t believe what some people have in their houses.”
“Oh, I know. Pet dandruff. Mold spores. Your worst nightmare.”
Spencer appears with two mugs of Ovaltine. He's adorably cozy, cocooned in an oversized Caltech sweatshirt and green slacks with the giant cargo pockets he loves. They're so practical!
“There’s no need for sarcasm,” he says, mouth pursed the way it does when you’re being a smartass.
“There’s always a need,” you say cheerfully.
He's wearing the Doctor Who socks you got him three years ago for his birthday. They're worn a little thin. You've offered to buy him new ones—Spencer insists these are still good.
“So how’s life in our nation’s capital?” you ask. “Besides all the serial killers.”
"Good. I still haven't gotten used to these D.C. winters but I feel a lot less silly making hot Ovaltine when it's not sixty-five degrees outside," he says, bending to set your mug down.
Instinctively, you pull out two coasters and Spencer puts your mug on one and cradles his own. He sits on the overstuffed couch he took from his mother's house. You'd helped him take it. You’d followed him out here, actually, after his second PhD, and you live just outside of D.C. because you’re not a big-shot FBI profiler. You’d split the cost of the U-Haul from California and stayed with him the first night because Spencer can’t sleep in unfamiliar darkness.
It had been four years since you’d seen each other. You’d shared a bottle of cheap wine to celebrate his new job at the BAU. Later, Spencer cried over Diana and you held him through it.
"Turning the heat on might help," you say.
"That's simply a luxury the FBI doesn't pay me for. Anyway, thermostats increase the chances of a fire. Especially if the pipes are old."
"We should ask your friend Penelope to hack a bank so you can buy a mansion," you say.
Spencer shakes his head and brings the mug to his lips. "Please don't give her any ideas. Are we starting the movies?"
"Yes! Home Alone?”
“Don’t we always start with your favorite?” he asks, smiling.
“We do. You indulge me, Spencestar.”
You get up to fiddle with Spencer’s ancient TV and DVD player. It takes a couple of strategic smacks to get it running, but you do and you put the DVD in. It’s a tradition, your holiday movie marathons with Spencer.
You get up and unfurl the giant fluffy gray blanket that Spencer keeps neatly folded on the sofa. You sit next to him and pull the blanket over the both of you, then take your Ovaltine into your hands.
“You know, you could always invite your new friends at the FBI for movie nights,” you say. “I’d be okay with that. As long as they understand that I'm your oldest and bestest friend and therefore take precedence.”
"As if I need you telling them embarrassing stories about me,” Spencer says, looking at you flatly. “I know your motivations. It’s bad enough that Derek calls me the baby bird of the bullpen."
“Derek is the one that set you up on a date?”
“Ugh.” Spencer covers his face. “Please don’t remind me.”
It had only been a month ago, Spencer’s date with the sister of one of Derek’s friends. She’d been nice enough, according to Spencer, but you’d sensed more had happened he didn’t want to dive into. There was likely an underlying judgment that Spencer’s encountered too many times to not be sensitive to.
But Spencer always got nervous about these things too. He had a habit of psyching himself out. For a long time, the only woman he’d ever had a full conversation with was you.
The TV screen freezes. You groan and get up, putting your mug down.
“Try moving the antenna,” he says.
“Yeah. The FBI should give flat-screen TVs for Christmas bonuses.”
You play around with the antennas. When that doesn’t work, you turn off the TV. It’s not an exact science—whether the TV wants to play or not is up to forces out of your control. Spencer thinks you have the magic touch, though.
“That date was pretty bad, wasn’t it?” you ask, checking the wires behind the TV. You wiggle them around and try plugging and unplugging stuff.
“No,” Spencer says lightly, in that mild, polite tone that might work on a stranger but hasn’t worked on you since fifth grade.
“Spencer…”
“It wasn’t!” he says. “Honestly, it wasn’t even her, it was… I don’t know. I felt so silly doing it. Like I was a kid trying to do adult things.”
“You are an adult. Is it playing?”
“No. Yeah, I know I am, but I also feel so behind. Like everybody learned stuff I didn’t and now I can’t do a simple thing like go on a date with a woman.”
“You’re not behind—ouch!” The TV shocks you and you snatch your hand back, grimacing.
Spencer stands up. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks. Where was I? Right. You’re not behind, Spence, you’re the smartest person I know. You’re the smartest person most people know.”
It’s quiet for a moment. Then Spencer suddenly appears, kneeling next to you. You grin.
“Hi,” you say.
“Hi. You don’t have to get shocked so we can watch a movie. I can pull it up on my laptop.”
“No, I’m gonna make this work. Here, hold this.”
You hand Spencer a wire. He obediently holds it while you fiddle with the back of the TV.
“She tried to kiss me,” Spencer says quietly.
You pause and look at him. “Who did?”
“The woman Derek set me up with.”
“Oh.” You put down the wire—you’re starting to get the feeling that this is the kind of conversation that can’t be had while you’re trying to fix a TV. “You didn’t tell me that. Did you?”
“No.” Spencer scowls. “I chickened out. I just… Derek would’ve told me to just kiss her because she was pretty and she wanted me. But I didn’t want to. And that’s so stupid, ‘cause I should’ve, right?”
“Spencer, there’s no rule for when you should and shouldn’t kiss someone as long as both parties want to kiss,” you say.
“Yeah, but I’ve never kissed anybody. I’m twenty-five and I’ve never kissed anyone. How pathetic is that?”
You frown and turn to face Spencer fully. “Hey. C’mon, where’s this coming from? You know I don’t think any less of you for never kissing or dating or any of that stuff. You do it when you wanna. And I’d tell anyone that. I’m not just telling you ‘cause you’re my best friend.”
“I know, but…” Spencer shakes his head and it hurts to see him so defeated. “I told that woman that I hadn’t kissed anyone and that’s why I didn’t kiss her. And the look she gave me was so… I-I’ve gotten that look before, but… and I could just tell she was thinking freak, freak!”
“Spencer,” you say, voice cracked like an egg, and his name is the soft yolk spilling out. “Oh, Spence. You’re not a freak. I told you that when we were fourteen and I still mean it. Nothing is wrong with you for never kissing anyone. And someone who thinks there is isn’t a person you want to be intimate with anyway.”
He sighs. “I just feel like I’m falling behind.”
You press your lips together. Then you make a decision and stand.
“Come on,” you say, offering your hand.
Spencer takes your hand and lets you pull him up. “Where’re we going?”
“To the couch,” you say, more casual than you feel.
Spencer follows you to the couch and you sit. You take a deep breath.
“Who would you want to have your first kiss with?” you ask.
He shrugs. “No one comes to mind.”
You bite your lip. “What about me?”
Spencer blinks. “I—what?”
Suddenly, you’re overwhelmed with all of Spencer’s attention on you. It doesn’t normally overwhelm you but considering the circumstances…
“Well, um. It would be low-pressure, right? I mean, we’ve known each other for so long.”
Spencer licks his lips. You track the movement, then look away, embarrassed.
“I guess so,” he says. “But won’t it be weird? Kissing each other?”
Yeah, probably. “No, I don’t think so. Well, a little, but it’s just so you don’t feel out of sorts when you go on a date. It’s, like, practice.” That last point feels a little weak.
“Practice,” Spencer repeats.
“Yeah.”
It’s still and silent for several painful moments, and that’s when you contemplate bolting and changing your address. But then Spencer speaks.
“Okay,” he says. “If you’re definitely sure about it.”
“I am,” you say.
He nods. You take that as an invitation to scoot closer so you’re facing each other. Spencer brings one knee up so you can be within kissing distance.
“So, um.” You clear your throat. “So when you kiss someone, it’s important to find a place for your hands. They can be on their face or their waist or arms.”
Spencer nods. “Got it. Like this?”
He puts his hands on your waist. You stutter on your next breath. You hope Spencer doesn’t notice.
Look, you’re not blind, okay? Spencer’s tall and cute and smart and a sweetheart and your roommate in college once commented on how he’s got hands made to finger a woman, which you’ve never been able to forget, much as you’ve tried.
So yeah. You know your best friend’s good looking. You know he’s a catch.
Does that mean you can be absolutely emotionless while kissing him? Not so much.
But you love Spencer. You’d do anything for him.
“Yeah, good.” You drape your hands loosely around his neck, his curls tickling your fingers. “Okay?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Then you make eye contact but not too much. Don’t scare them.”
Spencer smiles with half of his mouth. “Don’t scare them. Noted.”
You roll your eyes. “Smartass. Alright, then you, um…”
“Kiss?” he asks.
You nod. “Y-yeah. Then you lean in and kiss.”
You press your lips to Spencer’s lightly. His mouth is soft but he’s stiff, which means he’s going to kiss stiffly.
“Relax, Spencestar,” you say against his mouth. “‘S okay. Part your lips a little.”
“Like this?” he asks, his mouth losing some tension.
“Exactly. Fit your lips to mine.”
Spencer’s warm, his breath tickling your mouth. Your heart feels like it’s going to beat right up your throat and into Spencer.
“I read about kissing,” he says. “For research.”
That makes you smile, a short laugh slipping out. You rest your forehead on his mouth by accident.
“What?” he asks against your skin, smile clear in his voice. The sensation gives you shivers.
“Nothing. You’re sweet, Spence,” you say.
You lift your head and close your eyes. And then you kiss him.
Spencer kisses gently, which you never thought about in-depth, but experiencing it now, it makes sense that he does. He’s so gentle in everything else, from the way he opens doors to letting you have the last bite of pasta. Of course Spencer kisses the way he lives in the world: kindly.
Your hands slip to his jaw to guide him. Your kisses are short first, to warm him up. You feel Spencer’s pulse in his neck under your palm, feel his easy hold on your hips, the way he twists a loose thread on your shirt.
“You can be a little more firm. Move your hands around,” you say, and Spencer nods.
He kisses you with a little more pressure, ever the quick learner. His hands travel up your spine and down, like he’s soothing you. It makes an unexpected sob work up your throat and you quickly swallow it down.
You thread your hand through his hair, your senses completely surrounded by him. Spencer’s more confident now, pulling you into him slightly, curving your back with his palms.
And before you do something really stupid, like kiss his neck or tell him you love him, you pull back. Spencer’s eyes fly open when yours do.
“Did I do something wrong?” he asks.
“No, no. You were good. That was good, Spencer. I just, uh… we’ve been kissing for a while, so I figured…”
“Oh.” His face turns pink. “Right, yeah.”
“Yeah.” You scratch your neck. “But that was good. It just takes practice.”
Spencer nods a lot. “Yes, of course. Like any skill.”
“Exactly.”
You drink your Ovaltine, needing to put your attention on anything but Spencer’s kiss-swollen lips. The Ovaltine is cold. You make a face.
“I’ll reheat it,” Spencer says, practically leaping from the couch. “Be right back.”
“I’ll try to get the movie started,” you say, making a beeline for the TV.
You turn it on, trying to calm your fluttering heart. This time, the movie plays with no issues. Of course when you want it to have issues so you don’t have to be curled up next to Spencer on the couch, it doesn’t. Figures.
Hesitantly, you return to the couch. Spencer comes out a few minutes later with your reheated mugs. He gives you yours and sits on the far end of the couch.
“Want the blanket?” you ask.
He shakes his head. “I’m okay. I warmed up.”
The movie continues from where it froze. You and Spencer watch that one, then Home Alone 2, then the Muppets Christmas Carol.
And it’s fine, it’s normal. It’s normal, except you’ve just kissed your best friend. And Spencer doesn’t curl up next to you under the blanket for the rest of the night. You get this sinking feeling, wondering if catching your best friend up comes at a bigger cost than you thought.
#Spencer Reid x reader#Spencer Reid x you#Spencer Reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#Spencer Reid fluff#Spencer Reid fic#Spencer Reid kissing#Spencer Reid best friend#Spencer Reid x fem reader
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Due to the Anti-Ecto Acts, Jason, a highly ecto contaminated individual, is legally no longer considered a sapient being. Which means he can no longer be legally held accountable for his actions. A fact he abuses with enormous glee.
“We need to talk," Bruce said, sounding exhausted.
Jason smiled cheerfully. While the look usually would've been uncharacteristic enough to make them all test him for his DNA, it was so common nowadays that everyone just put their head in their hands to hide away from his smile.
"Why? What do you mean?" Jason asked.
Damian stood up, slamming his hands down on the table. "That! That is what we are concerned about! Your crimes must be answered to!"
"Crimes?" Jason was almost batting his eyelashes with the way he was blinking innocently at Damian. "What crimes? I have done no such thing."
Dick spoke up wryly, "Little wing, you terrorized the mayor by stalking him for several days, pranked the GCPD seven times, let the animals go in the zoo twice, stole multiple priceless treasures to give to Jazz and Danny and their friends and family for bribing government officials, robbed three banks to fund the cause to assassinate the president, shot five billionaires, beat up four other CEOs, and then lit the roof of Wayne Enterprises on fire to declare your love for Jazz. I'm pretty sure those are crimes."
Jason beamed. "No, they're not. Because according to recent law, proposed by the GIW and ratified by the government, I am not a sapient being. Therefore, I can no longer be held accountable for my actions. Until I am caught and tried by the GIW, I am not bound by any laws and nobody is allowed to take me in except the Ghost Investigation Ward."
Tim grumbled something underneath his breath, which sounded a lot like, "I should've just reported his ass to the government."
Stephanie nudged him hard. Tim growled and then rubbed at his shoulder. Finally, he stood up and said, "Jason! It still isn't an excuse for you to jeopardize our work just so you can flirt with Jazz and overthrow the government!"
Jason's grin grew even wider.
"What're you gonna do? Arrest me?"
Damian and Tim lunged at him and then an entire brawl broke out. Bruce clutched his coffee mug to himself desperately, praying for any god out there to give him patience and help.
... he was pretty sure they were laughing at him.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny phantom x dc#dp x dc crossover#ask#jazz fenton#anon ask#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#stephanie brown#anger management ship#hardcover ship#jason x jazz#ty for the ask!
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Motion Sick // Chapter 5
Theme: homoerotic friendship hot mess
A/N: Just trying to move plot forward before getting into some real messiness and eventually a resolve! Probably won't have another chapter out until next week for this series because I need to finish up my other series, but we'll see. Please comment, react, whatever! I love to see it!
WC: 5K+
Warnings: angst, maybe some cussing?
**** Chapter 5 ****
The thing about first dates is that they never feel like the movies. There’s no soundtrack, no golden-hour lighting, no perfect banter where both people say exactly the right thing. There’s just nerves.
A lot of them.
Especially when you’ve been hanging out for weeks already—study sessions, walking each other back to dorms, late-night Snap streaks, casual movie nights that weren’t officially anything but definitely felt like something.
So yeah. This wasn’t the first time Paige and Kathryn had hung out. But it was the first time it was called a date. Which somehow made it feel entirely different.
She stared at her closet for way too long before finally settling on a cropped long-sleeve top and black cargo pants. Comfortable, but bold. Just enough skin to hint at her abs—not that she cared if Kathryn noticed. (She did.)
Her hair was half up, half down, loose curls falling over her shoulders. She spritzed some cologne. Debated lip gloss. Changed her earrings twice.
Kathryn was waiting by the front entrance of her dorm, her usual athletic casual look upgraded just slightly—black jeans, crop top, an oversized denim jacket, a necklace Paige hadn’t seen before. Her hair was pulled into a loose braid, and she was fidgeting with her keys like she wasn’t sure what to do with her hands.
“You look good,” Kathryn said, smiling in that sideways kind of way that always got to Paige.
“You too,” Paige said, a little too quickly. “So… mini golf?”
Kathryn grinned. “Figured we should settle once and for all who the real athlete is.”
They walked over together, shoulders brushing, the teasing already in full swing about who’d win.
The place was half empty, glowing under string lights and faded neon signs. The vibe was more arcade nostalgia than romantic, which helped. Paige could breathe.
They picked out clubs and chose their golf balls—Paige called dibs on the purple one without hesitation—and made their way to hole one, where the goal was to bank a shot off a sun-faded plastic flamingo.
Kathryn was bad. Like, hilariously bad. Like, can’t-even-pretend-to-be-supportive bad. Paige didn’t even try to hide her laughter when Kathryn whiffed her second shot and sent the ball into a fake pond.
“Oh my God,” Paige gasped, wiping tears. “Are you trying to lose?”
“I’m establishing expectations,” Kathryn said, deadpan. “So when I come back and win, it’s more impressive.”
“Babe, you’re down by four already.”
Kathryn raised an eyebrow. “Did you just call me babe?”
Paige’s face went warm. “Shut up. Hit your ball.”
They bantered their way through all eighteen holes, pausing only to talk trash or duck around a group of loud undergrads. Somewhere around hole ten, Kathryn figured out a ridiculous strategy that involved ricocheting every shot off Paige’s ball.
“It’s a legit tactic,” she said, lining up another bank shot with zero shame.
“It’s cheating,” Paige shot back, grinning. “And you’re annoying.”
“Still catching up, though,” Kathryn said sweetly, right before sinking the putt.
They split a Coke and a bag of M&M’s at the end, sitting on a metal bench near the arcade. The air had cooled, Kathryn’s braid was coming loose, and Paige felt lighter than she had in a long time.
It was easy. Too easy.
The kind of night that didn’t ask anything of her. Didn’t push. Didn’t pull. Just let her be. And God, had she missed that.
After, they walked back to campus slowly—like neither of them was in a hurry to go back to reality. The air was crisp. Kathryn shoved her hands in her pockets and occasionally bumped her shoulder into Paige’s like she didn’t know what to do with her own affection.
Outside Kathryn’s dorm, they paused.
“This was fun,” Paige said, a little too quickly.
Kathryn nodded. “Yeah. It was.” Then a beat. “I was kinda nervous, honestly.”
“Why?” Paige asked.
“You’re just… not like other girls I’ve hung out with.” She looked down for a second, then back up. “You make me nervous in a good way. Like I wanna keep doing things that make you smile.”
Paige swallowed, pulse stuttering.
She didn’t mean to close the distance. Not really. But then Kathryn tilted her head, and Paige’s breath caught, and suddenly they were closer than before—shoes toe-to-toe.
“I had a really good time,” Kathryn said, voice low.
Paige smiled. “Me too.” And then she leaned in. Just a little. And Kathryn met her halfway.
The kiss was… sweet. Soft. Innocent. Like a sigh. Like a yes.
It didn’t take her breath away. But it settled something.
Her hand found the edge of Kathryn’s jacket, anchoring herself for just a second longer. Then she pulled back, blinking.
Kathryn’s cheeks were pink. She smiled. “Been wanting to do that since you beat me at FIFA.”
“You mean when I destroyed you at FIFA,” Paige said, breathless.
“Rematch soon. You’ll lose.”
“We’ll see.”
They lingered for a second longer. Not touching now, just standing in that quiet post-kiss pause, both a little dazed.
“Night, Paige,” Kathryn said, opening the door.
“Night.”
Paige turned and started walking back, fingers brushing her lips, trying—and failing—to hide the grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. She crossed her arms, like maybe that would help steady her heartbeat. It didn’t.
It didn’t feel dramatic. It didn’t feel like a movie. It felt… good. Simple. Easy. Maybe even right.
For the first time in a while, she didn’t feel like she was chasing something. She just felt found.
****
Morrone Stadium looked sharp under the late afternoon light. Clean turf. Crisp white lines. The kind of fall breeze that made you zip your hoodie up halfway and still squint against the sun.
Paige hadn’t planned on going alone—not because she wouldn’t have, but because when Aubrey and Ice overheard her mention Kathryn’s game, they immediately invited themselves. “You’re not about to soft launch your soccer crush without us,” Aubrey had said. “It’s not a launch,” Paige muttered, pulling her hood up.
But still—she didn’t say no.
The three of them sat low in the bleachers, close to the midfield line. A few basketball players trickled in over the first half, but none of them sat close. Paige liked that. It kept things… quiet.
Kathryn wore all white—jersey tucked, socks pulled high, her usual headband in place. She had a navy practice penny over the top for warmups, but by kickoff, it was off and folded on the bench. She looked calm, focused, confident. Like the game ran at her pace.
“She’s got field presence,” Ice commented, chewing on her straw. “She’s hot,” Aubrey added, unapologetically.
Paige tried not to smile. Tried not to stare too long as Kathryn jogged over to the corner flag midway through the first half.
“Corner kick,” Aubrey said, nudging her. “This your girl’s moment.”
Kathryn didn’t even glance toward the bleachers—just set the ball down with surgical precision, took three quick steps, and sent a perfect left-footed cross into the box. One of her teammates met it clean, heading it into the back of the net like it had been drawn up in a textbook.
The crowd roared. Kathryn jogged back into formation, high-fived the striker, and kept moving like she’d done it a hundred times.
“She’s smooth,” Ice said, tipping her coffee like a toast.
“Well, she is captain,” Paige replied before she could stop herself.
Aubrey raised an eyebrow, grinning. “Ohhh, okay. So now you’re bragging.”
Paige just shook her head, but her smile gave her away.
After the win, she stayed in the stands while Kathryn cooled down with the team. No waving. No big moment. Just a glance across the field and a barely-there nod—acknowledgment. Like something only the two of them would catch.
Later that night, Paige got the tag. Kathryn had posted a game-day carousel—action shots of her teammates, a scoreboard close-up, and a blurry bench photo with the caption: “w’s only.”
But the tag wasn’t in the post.
It was on her story. Just one clip: a slow pan of the bleachers, Paige tucked in the corner, hood up, grinning like she didn’t know she was being filmed.
The caption read: “love the support 🤍”
She tagged @uconnwbb, @aubreygriffin, @icebrady… and @paigebueckers. Like it was casual. Like it was nothing.
And yet Paige stared at it way too long before locking her phone.
She barely had time to process it before her phone buzzed again. The Huzzskies🏀team chat was already on fire.
Aubrey: okay soft launch 😏
Caroline: please tell me you’re sending this to your mom so she stops asking if you’re still single lol
Amari: not Paige out here looking like a proud boyfriend 😭
Jana: well damn
Aubrey: lowkey proud of you. highkey stalking her tagged pics rn 👀
She just watched the messages roll in, the screen lighting up again and again like it was laughing with her.
She didn’t respond. Didn’t add a single emoji. But her thumb hovered over the keyboard for a second, then dropped.
She smiled. Just barely. Then locked her phone.
And that should’ve been the end of it. Cute date. Supportive friends. A win all around.
But instead of feeling lighter, she felt… something else. Like a corner of her chest had come unstuck. Like her body remembered something she hadn’t given it permission to.
It didn’t hit all at once. Just a quiet nudge. The kind that starts as a whisper and gets louder the longer you try to ignore it.
Because it wasn’t just a story post. It wasn’t just a kiss, or a caption, or how easy Kathryn made things feel.
It was what came before. The dance. The almost. The way Azzi had looked at her like she was still something worth choosing. And the way Paige had walked away—like that solved anything.
She thought she’d feel proud of herself. She didn’t.
What she felt was unfinished. And tired of pretending otherwise.
She reached for her phone again. No hesitation this time. Scrolled until Azzi’s name came into view.
She hadn’t texted her in weeks. Not directly. Not since before the birthday. Before the dance floor. Before everything that still lived in the space between them, untouched and unnamed.
Her fingers hovered. Then typed.
hey do you have time to talk this week? just wanna clear the air after my birthday.
She read it back once. Didn’t overthink it.
Just hit send.
For a moment, nothing. Then—
Azzi: yeah. just let me know when.
That was it. No emoji. No questions. But it was enough.
Paige let the phone fall beside her, the light from the screen fading slowly as it dimmed out. She pulled her blanket tighter, curled against the far side of her bed, and stared at the ceiling like the right words might be written up there if she just looked long enough.
This was the right thing. To be honest. To stop letting silence answer for her.
And maybe it wouldn’t fix everything. Maybe it would just be a moment. But at least it wouldn’t be another ghost.
Still, later that night—long after her shower, long after Kathryn’s “thanks for coming :)” text that Paige reread twice—she opened her drawer, looking for headphones.
And for a half-second, she thought she saw something. A flash of white. A blue ribbon.
But then it was gone. Buried again beneath socks and receipts and whatever else she’d shoved in there.
She closed the drawer. Didn’t think twice. Didn’t notice what she’d missed.
****
They met in the film room after weights. Neutral ground. No distractions. Just the echo of earlier conversations bouncing faintly in her head and the quiet hum of a space that used to mean nothing but basketball.
Azzi was already there, perched on the edge of one of the recliners in the front row, her high bun loose in that casually chaotic way it always was. She sat hunched forward, elbows resting on her thighs, like she hadn’t fully decided if she was staying or just passing through. She looked up when Paige walked in, her expression carefully unreadable.
“Hey,” Paige said, her voice low.
Azzi nodded. “Hey.”
The silence stretched for a few seconds. Not tense. Just… uncertain. They hadn’t been alone together in a long time.
Paige leaned against the table at the front of the room, directly across from Azzi, close enough to talk, but not too close. Measured. Intentional.
“Thanks for coming,” she said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I just figured it was time to clear the air. Before the season really starts. Before things get too complicated.”
Azzi nodded again, slower this time. “Yeah. Makes sense.”
Paige glanced down at her hands. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my birthday. About the dance. I know it was kind of a moment. It felt like that. I’m not gonna pretend it didn’t.” She paused, then added, “But I think it was more about… history. And the drinks. And just falling into old rhythms.”
Azzi’s eyes flickered, but she didn’t interrupt.
“We’ve been more than just friends for a while now,” Paige said, her voice soft. “Even if we never said it out loud… it was always there.”
Azzi gave a tiny smile at that. “Yeah. I know.”
“And I don’t regret it,” Paige continued quickly. “Any of it. I wouldn’t take it back. But I think it’s time to move on. For real this time.”
Her voice wavered for a second, but she steadied it. “Things with Kathryn feel… good. And I don’t want to mess that up by leaving anything with us unresolved.”
Azzi dropped her gaze to her shoes, her fingers knotting together in her lap. Across from her, Paige fixed her eyes on a spot on the wall like it might give her something to hold onto.
“I guess what I’m trying to say,” Paige went on, “is that I want us to be okay again. For real. Not stuck in that weird space where we don’t talk or try to pretend we’re fine when we’re not.”
She looked over then, eyes finding Azzi’s like she was checking to see if it was still safe.
“I just…” Paige let out a slow breath. “I want to go back. Before it got messy… When you were just… my person.”
The words came out soft, like they’d been sitting in her chest for a while.
She paused, then added— “Can we do that?”
Azzi didn’t say anything right away. She didn’t have to. The silence between them felt familiar now. Not quite heavy, but full.
So Paige kept going, her voice a little lower now, like maybe if she said it gently enough, it wouldn’t hurt as much.
“I know last time we tried to be friends… I was the one who pushed it too far. I crossed the line.” She tucked her hair behind her ear, eyes flicking down. “And I don’t think it was confusion. I think I just wanted you close, and I didn’t know how to ask for it without making it messy.”
She looked up again, her expression soft but sure. “I’m not trying to do that anymore. I’m not trying to stir things up or go back to something that doesn’t work. I just… I miss when it was simple. I miss when you were the first person I told everything to. And I guess I’m hoping we can find our way back to that.”
A pause.
“That version of us. The one that wasn’t so complicated.”
Azzi didn’t answer right away. She let the question hang there between them, suspended in the hum of the overhead light and the weight of everything they never quite said.
Eventually, she nodded. Once.
“Yeah. We can.”
Paige exhaled. “I really want that. Especially with the season starting. I want to be good teammates. I want to be in your corner. Always.”
Azzi looked at her, and there was something behind her eyes—something that wasn’t quite sadness, but lived in the same zip code.
“Me too,” she said quietly. “I never wasn’t.”
They didn’t hug. Didn’t linger.
Paige offered a soft smile, stood, and gave her one last look. “Thanks again. I know this wasn’t easy.”
Azzi nodded. “It’s okay.”
And Paige believed her. Mostly.
She turned and left, the door clicking softly behind her.
Azzi
Paige never mentioned the gift. Not once.
Not the white box. Not the ribbon that had frayed from being carried in Azzi’s pocket all night. Not the gift inside.
And that silence told her everything.
She’d opened it. Of course she had.
Azzi hadn’t left it somewhere subtle. This wasn’t a mystery box behind a stack of laundry or under a pile of books.
She’d put it dead center on Paige’s desk. Right next to a half-eaten granola bar and her tangled phone charger.
So yeah. Azzi knew. She’d found it. She’d seen it. And she hadn’t said a word.
Which meant she had nothing to say.
She didn’t spiral.
Didn’t cry.
Didn’t do anything dramatic like throw her phone across the room or listen to Phoebe Bridgers on loop until Caroline threatened to unplug the speaker.
Which, honestly, was worse.
Because that ache? The one she’d been trying to ignore since the dance floor? It didn’t go away. It just settled in. Got comfortable. Became background noise.
And yeah, at first it stung. But eventually it dulled into something manageable. Like a muscle that used to be torn and now just aches when it rains.
She still thought about it sometimes—what Paige might’ve felt when she opened the box. Maybe she’d rolled her eyes. Maybe she didn’t even try it on.
Maybe she tossed it in a drawer like it was nothing. (Okay, that one hurt a little more than she wanted to admit.)
But eventually, Azzi got used to it. Used to the silence. Used to being the one who still cared but didn’t say anything about it.
Then came the team group chat.
Screenshots. Teasing texts. A picture of Paige standing in the bleachers at Kathryn’s soccer game, hood up, hair tied back, looking happier than she had in weeks. Azzi watched the reactions roll in like a slow, dumb parade.
Lou dropped five heart eyes. Nika posted a GIF. Aaliyah suggested wedding colors.
And Azzi—she read every message, watched the little reactions stack up in real time.
At first, it hit like another quiet twist in her gut. She told herself it didn’t matter.
That it wasn’t that deep.
But if Azzi was being honest—really honest—it felt like the final answer to a question she hadn’t wanted to ask.
And the answer was no.
No, Paige wasn’t holding onto anything. No, she wasn’t second-guessing that dance. No, she didn’t open her gift and feel her breath catch in her chest.
So when Paige texted her—hey, can we talk?—Azzi already knew what it was going to be. Not a confession. Not a door reopening.
Just… closure.
And when they met in the film room, Paige sitting across from her with soft eyes and a measured voice, saying she wanted to go back to before things got blurry— Azzi nodded.
Because what else was she supposed to do? Fall to the floor and scream, Please, give me another chance.
No thanks. She still had to show up to practice the next day.
Besides, there was something almost comforting about knowing where they stood. Finally.
They were friends. Teammates. Not unfinished business.
And the truth was, she was grateful for that. Because losing Paige completely? That would’ve left a hollow space she didn’t know how to fill.
So she held on to what she could. Even if it wasn’t the version she used to hope for. Even if it meant learning how to sit beside Paige again without reaching for something that wasn’t hers anymore.
And maybe that would take time. Maybe she’d still flinch sometimes—at old songs, at inside jokes, at the way Paige laughed when she wasn’t trying.
But eventually, she believed she’d get there. To the version of herself that could look at Paige and feel calm instead of cracked open.
The part of her that still wanted more? It would quiet. Not today, maybe not tomorrow. But soon.
And when it did—when that ache finally softened—she’d still be here. Still Azzi. Still steady. And maybe, just maybe, still close enough to be in Paige’s life in a way that didn’t hurt.
In a way that felt like peace.
****
They rounded the corner, the Dairy Bar’s warm yellow lights glowing against the foggy windows. There was already a line — always was — students in sweats and messy buns, someone in pajama pants and slides, a couple with their arms around each other.
Azzi pulled her hood up. She didn’t know why. She kicked a rock down the street as they walked, hands shoved deep in her hoodie pocket.
Aubrey walked next to her, sipping from a Sprite and swinging a lanyard around one finger like she had nowhere in the world to be except right there.
“This better be good,” Aubrey said. “You pulled me out of my Netflix zone.”
Azzi rolled her eyes. “You act like you didn’t break into a jog when I said waffle cones.”
Aubrey gave her a look but didn’t argue.
They got in line between a group of freshman girls in matching sorority hoodies and a dad and his kid debating over rainbow sprinkles.
Azzi stared up at the chalkboard menu—overwhelmed, underwhelmed, and mostly just stalling—while a case full of too many flavors sat beneath a lineup of UConn-themed puns like Bleed Blueberry Bliss and Husky Tracks, none of which she actually felt like reading.
“Can I say something?” Azzi asked, staring at the freezer but not really seeing it.
Aubrey gave her a curious look. “Alright. Floor’s yours.”
“I think I might like girls.”
Aubrey didn’t flinch. Didn’t even pause. She just took another sip of Sprite and said, “Yeah. No duh.”
Azzi blinked. “Okay, why does everyone keep saying that?”
Aubrey shrugged. “Because… Azzi. We’ve all seen the way you look at Paige. It’s like you’re seeing everything you want and everything you’re scared of, in the same breath.”
Azzi groaned. “God, that’s so dramatic.”
“You’re dramatic.”
“Okay, yeah,” she admitted, laughing under her breath. “But still. It was only her. It’s not like I’ve been walking around campus making a list.”
“So?” Aubrey said, raising an eyebrow. “It doesn’t have to be everyone. Sometimes it’s just one person that makes you go, oh.”
They shuffled forward in line. The smell of waffle cones drifted toward them, warm and ridiculous and somehow perfect.
“I guess I thought it didn’t count unless it was more than once,” Azzi muttered.
“Who made that rule?”
Azzi didn’t answer. Because… yeah. She had no idea.
They finally stepped up to the counter. Azzi asked for pistachio in a waffle cone, mostly out of spite because no one ever picked pistachio and she kind of liked being contrary. Aubrey got cookies and cream because she was predictable and proud of it.
They paid, grabbed their cones, and headed outside to a bench near the side of the shop. The wood was cold beneath them, but neither of them said anything.
Azzi took a bite. “This was a terrible choice.”
Aubrey grinned. “Tastes like regret?”
“Yeah. But like… fancy regret.”
They sat for a minute, letting the sounds of the night fill in the space. Footsteps. Laughter. The low bass of someone’s speaker rattling in a dorm window.
Then Azzi spoke again, slower this time. “I think what hurts the most isn’t that she’s happy.” She licked a drip of ice cream off her wrist. “It’s that I’m not part of the version of her that is.”
Aubrey didn’t say anything for a second. Then— “You were, though.”
“Yeah,” Azzi said. “And I loved that version. I just didn’t know what to do with it until it was already gone.”
She looked out toward the parking lot, watching headlights pass through puddles from the earlier rain.
“She found someone who makes her laugh. Someone who doesn’t hesitate. And I keep thinking—good. Like, I really do want her to be okay. Even if it’s not with me.”
Aubrey leaned back on the bench, her cone resting against the wrapper. “That’s what makes it real, you know.”
Azzi turned. “What?”
“That you want her to be happy even if it doesn’t lead back to you.” A pause. “Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck.”
Azzi exhaled, quiet but not heavy. “It does.”
“Then let it suck. For now,” Aubrey said. “But maybe you also start paying attention to how you feel around other people. Like… just see who makes you want to smile. Or stay a little longer. Or flirt back.”
Azzi gave her a flat look. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”
Aubrey didn’t blink. “Sure, you’ve got a boyfriend. And I’ve got a plant I forgot to water for three weeks. Doesn’t mean it’s thriving.”
Azzi snorted. “That’s dark.”
“I’m just saying,” Aubrey continued, twirling her cone like she was making a point. “There’s a difference between staying with someone and actually wanting to be with them. One of those is comfort. The other’s real.”
Azzi let the words settle as she took another slow bite of her ice cream.
“Anyway,” Aubrey added with a shrug, “if you ever decide to explore what real might look like—with someone new—I’m officially offering my services as an unpaid, highly unqualified wingwoman.”
Azzi laughed—really laughed, for the first time in what felt like forever. “I hate you.”
“You love me,” Aubrey said, bumping her shoulder.
They let the quiet fall again. The kind of quiet that didn’t press. That felt like permission to feel things at your own pace.
And maybe that was enough for tonight. Not closure. Not clarity.
But a starting point.
****
She hadn’t planned on doing it that night. But when she got back to her dorm and saw Derrick’s name light up her phone — missed call (2), text: “U alive??” — something inside her clicked.
Not like a spark. More like a switch.
She’d known this was coming. For weeks, maybe longer. And now there was no reason to pretend she didn’t.
hey. can we talk for a sec?
They met outside the student center, the campus mostly quiet, lit by streetlamps and the flicker of vending machines buzzing against the wall. Derrick stood with one foot propped on the bike rack, a basketball tucked under his arm like always. Like nothing was off.
When he saw her, he smiled—out of habit, not happiness—and reached out for a one-armed hug.
She didn’t hug back.
“What’s up?” he asked, still easy, still assuming this wasn’t what it was.
Azzi stuffed her hands into the pocket of her hoodie. The same hoodie she’d worn to his games, to late-night film sessions, to fall asleep in when she didn’t know how to say what she was feeling.
“I think we should break up.”
It came out quiet. Still. But it didn’t waver.
Derrick’s brow pulled tight. “Wait… what?”
“I’ve been feeling it for a while. But I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure. I just… I don’t think this is right anymore.”
He blinked like he didn’t fully understand the language she was speaking. “Is this about her?”
Azzi hesitated. “Who?”
“Paige,” he said flatly. “Come on. Don’t act like I don’t see it.”
She tried not to react, but her throat caught on something.
“She walks into a room and you go stiff like someone just pressed pause on your whole nervous system.” He took a step closer, the ball dropping to the pavement beside him with a soft thud.
Azzi looked away. She could lie. She thought about it—just for a second. About saying It’s not like that. Or You’re overreacting. About falling back on the safety net of vague deflection.
But she was tired. Tired of performing what she thought other people needed from her. Tired of keeping her feelings sorted into folders labeled "safe" and "later." Tired of lying.
Especially to herself.
So she took a breath and met his eyes. “It’s not about Paige. It’s about me.”
He laughed again. This time it had edges. “I heard the rumors last year, you know. About you and her. Stuff people said. I figured it was just drama. People trying to stir things up. I didn’t want to believe it.”
She looked up. “It wasn��t like that.”
“Wasn’t it?”
A beat passed. Long enough to feel it settle between them.
“I didn’t cheat on you,” Azzi said. Her voice stayed even, but there was steel in it now. “I didn’t lie. I just… I didn’t know how to explain something I was still figuring out.”
He folded his arms. “So what now? You’re into girls?”
“I might be.”
“And what, I’m just the warm-up act?”
“No,” she said. “You’re someone I really cared about. And someone I don’t want to keep lying to—especially now that I’m not lying to myself anymore.”
He stepped back, mouth tight, jaw flexing. “Whatever. You wanna go figure it out, go ahead. Pick a team and stick to it next time.”
That one stung. Even though she’d half-expected it. Even though it told her more about him than it did about her.
Azzi nodded once. “Thanks for making this easier.”
He scoffed, grabbed the ball, and walked away without another word.
She stood there a moment longer, the night air cool against her cheeks, the back of her throat tight. Not with tears—just truth.
By the time she got back to her dorm, she was still holding onto the drawstrings of her hoodie like they were something to anchor her.
She didn’t feel triumphant. Didn’t feel broken either.
Just… clear.
It didn’t matter what label she landed on. Gay. Bi. Still figuring it out. She just knew that whoever she was becoming, he wasn’t part of it.
And maybe that was the whole point. Not choosing a side. Just choosing herself.
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Again, sometimes, in Palestine, one feels one is in an entire country that’s being treated this way. Obviously, there is also outright torture, people who are actually being shot, beaten, tortured, or violently abused. But I’m speaking here even of the ones that aren’t. For most, it’s as if the very texture of everyday life has been designed to be intolerable—only, in a way that you can never quite say is exactly a human rights violation. There’s never enough water. Showering requires almost military discipline. You can’t get a permit. You’re always standing in line. If something breaks it’s impossible to get permission to fix it. Or else you can’t get spare parts. There are four different bodies of law that might apply to any legal situation (Ottoman, British, Jordanian, Israeli), it’s anyone’s guess which court will say what applies where, or what document is required, or acceptable. Most rules are not even supposed to make sense. It can take eight hours to drive 20 kilometers to see your girlfriend, and doing so will almost certainly mean having machine guns waved in your faces and being shouted at in a language you half understand by people who think you’re subhuman. So you do most of your dalliance by phone. When you can afford the minutes. There are endless traffic jams before and after checkpoints and drivers bicker and curse and try not to take it out on one another. Everyone lives no more than 12 or 15 miles from the Mediterranean but even on the hottest day, it’s absolutely impossible to get to the beach. Unless you climb the wall, there are places you can do that; but then you can expect to be hunted every moment by security patrols. Of course teenagers do it anyway. But it means swimming is always accompanied by the fear of being shot. If you’re a trader, or a laborer, or a driver, or a tobacco farmer, or clerk, the very process of subsistence is continual stream of minor humiliations. Your tomatoes are held and left two days to rot while someone grins at you. You have to beg to get your child out of detention. And if you do go to beseech the guards, those same guards might arbitrarily decide to hold you to pressure him to confess to rock-throwing, and suddenly you are in a concrete cell without cigarettes. Your toilet backs up. And you realize: you’re going to have to live like this forever. There is no “political process.” It will never end. Barring some kind of divine intervention, you can expect to be facing exactly this sort of terror and absurdity for the rest of your natural life.
David Graeber, Hostile Intelligence: Reflections from a Visit to the West Bank
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Center of Danger | Dominique Luca x Pregnant!Reader
Summary: Your Tuesday plans are put on hold when you're caught in the middle of a bank robbery, but as if that didn't put a damper on your day, going into labor in the middle of it certainly did.
CW: fem!reader, pregnancy, labor, hostage situation, guns, death threats, death, blood, mild descriptions of violence, pre-established relationship. If any of these topics trigger you in any way, please do not read. Your wellbeing is so important.
A/N: I tried to make reader a behavioral analysis expert who works with S.W.A.T. but I don't know how well I incorporated that. ( not me trying to flex my Criminal Minds knowledge like a fucking nerd.) PS: I spent four straight hours writing this lol. and nother hour and a half proofreading and editing (and adding a whole 'nother fucking thing to the end of this jfc) (I'm having fun lol)
Your day had been going well. You went to one of your final doctors appointments before you were supposed to have the baby, you'd grabbed some of the last minute things on your baby list, and you were going over what you needed from the grocery store while you stood in line at the bank. It was one of those errands that you couldn't put off doing anymore, especially with the impending birth of your child, so it seemed easy enough to get out of the way today while you were already out and about. Unfortunately, a group of greedy, grubby-handed robbers decided to ruin those plans.
You couldn't lay on the ground like they wanted everyone to, which already irritated not only them but you too. The floor was uncomfortable as you sat against one of the desks while everyone else was forced to lay face down and not to move. It was a tense situation as the three robbers made the tellers fill their bags, one you wished would be over soon.
However, the robbers had already fucked up and got themselves stuck in the bank. A teller had sounded the silent alarm and in a fit of anger, one of the criminals shot the security officer dead. Another one freaked out because "no one was supposed to die" and seemed to be on the verge of tears, but it was hard to tell because they were all wearing plastic Halloween masks. This was turning out to be the worst bank robbery you had ever witnessed, not that you had ever actually witnessed a bank robbery but you had studied plenty.
"Shit, man! The cops are here!" one of the robbers all but growled. He turned his weapon on the tellers with a nasty glare from behind his ghoul mask. "Which one of you sounded the alarm, huh? Fucking idiots!"
He shot at the ceiling suddenly, causing people to scream. You jumped and held your belly protectively, taking a deep breath as you tried to stay calm. However, your blood pressure was already up and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears. The baby was kicking, sensing your distress, and you rubbed your bump in an attempt to soothe them.
"Cool it!" another of the robbers chastised his buddy, seething with anger behind his devil mask. "You're gonna need those bullets. So chill the fuck out."
"I'll do as I damn-well please," the first one said, then walked away, seeming to look for another way out.
The freaked-out robber stayed out of the conversation, seeming more subservient to the other two. He just stood the to side, watching over the hostages like he'd been told to, hiding behind his clown mask. You knew from that if any of them were going to break first, it was him.
As things around you began to calm down, you leaned your head back on the desk and took even, deep breaths. Of course, the quiet couldn't last long.
A couple were whispering to each other a few feet away and as soon as the robber with the devil mask, who seemed to be the leader, caught wind of it, he stomped over and pointed his gun at the woman's head. "I said to keep quiet! You want me to blow her head off?"
"No, please! We'll be quiet!" the man begged.
"I should make sure you stay quiet for good," the leader said, teasing the trigger of his gun. The grin of his devil mask made the scene more unsettling.
At that moment, you felt a sharp pain in your belly and let out a heavy groan. All eyes turned to you and watched as you withered in your spot. You were caught between pain and confusion, hoping that you weren't going into labor. You weren't due for another three and a half weeks. Your baby couldn't come now, this was the worst-case scenario. Anywhere else but in the middle of a robbery would have been ideal.
The devil walked over to see what you were doing, letting out a frustrated groan. "Oh, for fuck's sake! Give me a break!"
You looked up at him as the contraction passed, irritated and not ready to give birth. You spat, "Sorry to ruin your parade!"
He pointed his gun at you but the clown ran over and pushed it down. "Dude, you can't shoot a pregnant lady!"
The leader looked at him, then walked away muttering under his breath about how this was going terribly and how the last thing he needed was a baby to mess it up further.
It was about that time one of the phones rang and he walked over to answer it, knowing it was the police outside. It was about time, but you thought that perhaps they needed a negotiator to show up, which was unfortunate for you. A few minutes earlier and you might not be in the early stages of labor right now.
"What do you want?" Devil asked brashly.
You couldn't hear who was on the other side of the call, sitting too far away. You watched closely, hoping your boyfriend was outside with his team. It would be the perfect fantasy if he came to your rescue; besides, they were the best S.W.A.T. team in LA. What were the chances that they weren't here?
The phone call only lasted about two minutes before the leader hung up having made no demands. He laughed, shaking his head. "They think I'm an idiot."
The ghoul came back into the room and grunted. "They've got the whole place surrounded! They probably have snipers ready to kill us if we walk outta here. What do we do?"
Devil thought for a moment, then gestured with his gun at the people laying on the floor. "Put them in front of the doors and windows. Use them as a shield. They won't shoot in here with hostages in the way and it'll give us time to think."
His accomplices nodded and started getting people up, guiding them with their guns to form a line around the center of the bank. The patrons followed orders dutifully and linked their arms together, their lives put further in danger by their captors.
The leader came over to you and grabbed your arm, but the clown came over and asked him what he was doing. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting her off her ass."
"She's pregnant, man," he said, his voice a little more confident than before. He didn't seem to like that you were there at all, but as soon as his bossy friend came near you, he jumped to your aid. "Just leave her alone."
"You questioning me?"
He seemed to think on his feet. "I'm just saying, if the cops know we got a pregnant lady in here, thye're gonna get more aggressive. They'll try harder to get in here. Think about it, man."
"Kid's got a point," Ghoul said, looking over. "She'll be our secret weapon."
Devil looked between them and shook his head, letting you go. "Fine, maybe you're right... this time. We'll see."
He walked away to make sure the wall of hostages was cooperating, looking out the glass doors and windows at the front of the bank to evaluate what his next move should be. He took slow, calculated steps, taunting the police and the hostages at the same time.
Another contraction hit you and you whimpered, holding your stomach and slightly curling up. The clown crouched down beside you, looking at you with wide eyes from behind his mask. He stuttered, "A-are you okay?"
"Do I look okay?" you asked through clenched teeth. He looked down, almost ashamed for asking the question. You would feel bad if he wasn't hiding his identity and holding a large automatic gun on his back. Once the pain passed, you breathed out. "How old are you?"
"Doesn't matter," he answered.
"Sure it does. They called you kid," you told him, making him look up at you. "Means they don't respect you."
"That's not true," he said, shaking his head. He stood up and walked away, but looked back at you as he did. That was how you knew you did it. You planted that seed of doubt in his mind.
The next call came in not that long after, but Devil made one of the hostages answer the phone, a terrified older man who had been there to help his son open a bank account. He instructed the man on what to say, telling the officer on the other end that they wanted an armored car and a one way trip out of the country for the three of them, all within the next hour. It wasn't possible, you thought, which you were sure was what they were told before the hostage was made to hangup the phone with the promise that if their demands weren't met by that time, someone else was going to die.
The time seemed to pass sluggishly. You wouldn't have known it was going by at all were it not for the contractions picking up speed. You had read all your books about pregnancy and birth, so you knew that wasn't a great sign in this particular situation. Your labor seemed to be fast approaching, but you didn't want it to be. Were this in line with your birth plan, that would be ideal. However, a speedy birth was not on your agenda for the day.
"Tick-tock, tick-tock," Devil taunted as he walked the line of hostages again. He'd been pacing behind them to needlessly remind them of his presence. It was cruel and having to watch him was intense. "Five more minutes."
"What if they get us what we want?" Clown asked, looking at his friend.
The leader shook his head. "They won't get us what we want. They'll try to bribe us with less than what we asked for just to get us outside."
"So you're just gonna kill one?"
"Yup."
A woman in line cried out at hearing this and she was snapped at to shut up by the ghoul. He held a gun to her back and laughed at her terror as she tried to muffle her cries.
Clown watched, clutching his gun to his chest, before looking at Devil. "Wasn't killing the guard enough?"
"Not until we get out of here with the money and our lives," the leader answered, then shoved him. "Now shut up and do your job."
You watched as the 'kid' shook his head and walked away, listening to the devil without another question. Paying attention to everything else around you was the only thing keeping you from going insane from the pain. It was more persistent now and you felt the baby had moved lower. It was getting harder to keep your cool as all you wanted to do was yell and kick your feet at these guys who had forced you into early labor.
You were trying not to think about the time passing, watching Devil pace back and forth behind the line. He was looking at them, gun pointed at their backs. Then, suddenly, another sharp contraction shot through you and all you could do was scream as he shot a woman in the back.
She would have dropped to the floor were it not for the two people on either side of her whose arms were linked with hers. They were told to drop her as she cried and writhed. Then Devil went to stand over her, watching her squirm on the ground and bleed, before lifting his gun and shooting her in the head. Everything stopped and grew quiet except for your cries. They echoed off the high walls of the bank, violently reminding everyone there that life came with pain.
Sweat and tears slipped down your face as people were forced to listen to you until you quieted down. The contraction passed and you were slumped against the desk once more.
The devil turned to Clown and motioned toward you. "Go make sure she's alive."
"Okay," he said and walked over to you. He put his gun on his back and crouched beside you, using the sleeve of his shirt to wipe the sweat from your forehead. "You're, uh, you're getting closer to, um, having the baby, aren't you?"
You nodded, keeping your eyes forward, watching the way Devil made two hostages move the woman's body closer to the door. They were going to use her as a block in front of the door incase S.W.A.T. came running in, which made you sick to your stomach. You'd seen a lot of malicious shit, but that was a new low.
The phone rang, but no one moved to answer it. Then the devil chuckled.
"Get her on her feet," he said, looking over at you and the 'kid.'
Clown puffed up his chest. "She can't possibly-"
Devil got angry. "Don't question me! Just do it!"
Clown looked at you apologetically and put an arm around your back and hoisted you up. You cried out as you felt the baby shift lower. It was hard to walk, awkward really. But he held you up and guided you to the phone as it rang. Just as you reached the desk, it stopped, and you wanted to scream but managed to hold it in. You knew they would call back. They had to.
The clown leant you against the desk and brought its accompanying chair over to you. He helped you sit in it as his buddies scolded him, but he didn't argue back or justify his actions then. Only when you were seated did he turn to them and bark back.
"You're making a pregnant lady do all this shit when she's about to have a goddamn baby! What the hell is wrong with you?" he yelled.
Devil got in his face. "I'm the one calling the shots around here! You do as I say, and if I want that fat bitch to answer the damn phone, she will, or she and that baby won't-"
"Oh, so you're gonna kill a lady and her baby?"
"Wait a minute!" Ghoul interrupted, looking at the devil, "Who died and put you in charge?"
"I've been in charge, numbnuts!"
The argument would have continued on from there, but the phone rang. They all looked at your tired face and waited for you to comply with what Devil wanted. So, you did.
"Hello," you said.
The voice on the other end of the phone made you feel some relief as he said your name. It was Hondo. "Is that you?"
You didn't answer immediately, not wanting to put the robbers on edge or clue them in to anything.
He seemed to understand. "If you are who I think you are, say 'where's the car?' if you're not, say 'please help us.' Okay?"
"Where's the car?" you asked, eyes trained on the robbers. Devil nodded at you, seeming to like that you were apparently smart enough to understand the situation at hand - you got right to the point of things and had been paying attention. Little did he know...
"We're gonna get you out of there, okay? We're working on it," Hondo told you.
"Well work on it faster," you told him, wincing in pain. You held your belly with your free hand. You kept your mouth shut about being in labor, knowing the robbers didn't want that detail known to anyone outside. "They've already killed someone else."
"We know, we saw," he said, letting out a regretful sigh. "But our eyes can only see in through the windows. The camera system is down. How many people are left inside with you?"
You looked around the room, trying to count the number of hostages, but it was harder to concentrate on something like that. "I don't know."
"What did he say?" Devil asked.
"They want to know how many people are alive."
Ghoul huffed. "Why does he want to know?"
"I don't know," you groaned, feeling another contraction rearing its ugly head. You did know, but there was no way you could strategize what the right thing to say to them was at that moment. "They-they probably- ahh!"
Hondo said your name several times, keeping his voice even. "Talk to me, mama. What's going on in there?"
Devil came over and seethed at you, "Tell him to get us what we want or we're gonna kill another person. Then hang up."
You spoke through the pain. "Get them what they want-"
"Are you in labor?" Hondo asked, hearing the strain in your voice.
"Or they're going to kill again," you said. "Please, please hurry."
Ghoul took the phone from your hand shook, slamming it into the holder. He watched you as you grabbed the arms of the chair, digging your nails into the hard wood. You scraped it and he shook his head. "Pregnant people are weird," he mumbled.
He and the devil moved on, talking to each other about what to do next. They began to argue about it but it was short lived as they parted ways. Ghoul slammed his fist on a desk and stomped away to try again at finding a plan-b escape. Devil leaned on a desk out of view of the windows, near you, and waited.
Clown stayed with you and talked you through the contraction. His voice wavered with fear and nervousness, seemingly never been in a situation like this before, as far as pregnancy went at the very least. Once it passed, he wiped your forehead again. "What-what's going to happen if you give birth in here?"
You looked at him, unsure yourself. "Well, there will be a baby in here and we'll both need immediate medical attention. If at that point they know about that, S.W.A.T. might just do anything to get in here."
Now that Hondo knew you were in here, there was more pressure on him to get inside and ensure your safety. You knew he wasn't going to tell Luca that you were one of the hostages because it would cloud his judgement, damned be the third generation S.W.A.T. officer that he was. His girlfriend and unborn child were in the center of danger and he'd do anything to get you out of there.
Clown got you water and helped you drink it as you continued to wallow in pain. As you sat there, you knew the situation was dire. You could see out some of the windows, seeing S.W.A.T. officers gearing up. You knew that sooner or later, they were going to come inside. You also saw an armored car pulling up, but it was a great distance away from the doors.
Ghoul came back, a little bit of a skip in his step. "They got our car! Let's go!"
"Wait!" Devil said, standing from his position and walking up behind the hostages. He took a man from them by putting his arm around his neck and pointing his gun into his side. They slowly made their way to the windows so he could peer out. He seethed. "They're trying to lure us out."
When he got back to the safe zone, the devil scratched his head, clearly deep in thought. He knew they were in deep, and with your timely reminders about the impending birth of your child, their odds of getting out of here was getting slimmer and slimmer.
"Wait for them to call," he said, turning to his friends. "We tell them we're going to take a hostage with us to ensure our escape."
"Dude, they got the fucking car, why do we gotta wait?" Ghoul asked.
"Because as soon as we step anywhere near those windows, they're gonna gun us down," Devil said, shoving him. "This is why I'm in charge, because you don't think!"
"I think better than you!" the ghoul yelled. "It was my idea to come here, remember?"
"And look at where that got us! You could of picked any other bank, but it had to be this big fancy one in the middle of town!"
"The cameras are out! They can't see in here, dimwit!"
You were about to yell at them to shut up when the phone rang. Devil looked at you and nodded. As you picked up the phone, Ghoul tried to continue the argument, but the devil shoved him away and told him to be quiet.
"Hello," you said.
Hondo sighed with relief at hearing your voice. "Say 'what do you want?' if you're okay. Say anything else if not."
"What do you want?" you asked.
"Tell the brothers we have their car ready for them," he said, which peaked your interest. You looked at the robbers in front of you and it clicked. Their arguing and dynamics made sense now.
They were brothers.
"Your car is ready," you told them.
Ghoul leaned against the desk in front of you. "Tell him we want it closer!"
Devil shoved him away again. "And that we're taking a hostage with us, so if they shoot at us, they'll be killing the next innocent person."
You took a deep breath and nodded. "They want the car closer so that they can get in with a hostage."
Hondo grunted. "Of course they'd try that trick. Listen to me, okay, we're not gonna let that happen. But tell them that we have to make room to move the car, so it'll be a minute."
"Okay," you said and sighed, rubbing your belly. You were in the last stretch of contraction. You could just feel it. "They have to make room for the car to get closer, so it'll be a few minutes before you can leave."
Devil didn't say anything, only took the phone from you and hung it up. "Get ready to get out of here, boys. Make the hostages take our bags to the door."
Then he walked away.
Ghoul took control of that mini mission, bossing two of the men in line to move and hustle to get their bags full of money to the door. They dropped them off and promptly got back in line, seeing the robber's finger ever-present on the trigger of his gun.
You were leaning forward on the desk, head laying on your arms as you whined and tried to breath deeply. You tried to hold your legs closed, preventing the progression of labor in anyway you could. You cursed having worn a dress today. You tried to think about anything else but where you where in that moment and what was happening. You tried to put yourself at home, in your baby's nursery that you and Luca had spent the last few weeks putting together and decorating. It helped distract you for a few minutes until more yelling broke the illusion.
Looking up, you saw Devil and Ghoul arguing about which hostage to take with them, which was the stupidest thing you had ever seen. It made you angry as you sat there, in labor, having to listen to this. Devil wanted to take you but Ghoul wanted to take anyone else. You were at your breaking point.
However, Clown snubbed out your lit fuse. He came with more water and helped you sit up so he could bring the cup to your lips. You sipped it, thankful that he was the kindest of the brothers. From what you had observed, he had to be the baby of the three and didn't want to hurt anyone there. He was there to rob a bank, not kill anyone, and each time you were in pain, he came to your side. He took care of you as much as he knew how. Something inside of him was redeemable, you thought so at least.
"They're both idiots," you whispered to him.
He hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah... I can't believe I agreed to do this. I should have never let them talk me into this."
You nodded. "Yeah, that's true."
He leaned against the desk, staying close to you as you both listened to the argument devolve, once more, into who is in charge. It was beginning to sound like they were a broken record, but as they continued the back and forth, you heard how similar their voices were, how similarly they spoke, and you could picture them as brothers more and more. It was in contrast to the 'kid', who seemed a little more mild mannered and quiet. He only spoke against the other two when he was passionate about whatever he was fighting them for, be it the lives of the people there or your wellbeing. It made you wonder how he was a part of this family.
Suddenly, everything came to a head.
"I told you to stop questioning me!" someone yelled, followed by a round of rapid pops from a gun.
You couldn't process anything for a moment, stomach tightening and making double over, leaning onto the desk again. You held your belly, screaming with the other scared people trapped with you. The moment passed quickly, but you couldn't look up.
"Bobby, what did you do?" Clown yelled.
The devil, Bobby, turned and criticized his kid brother. "Shut up! Don't say my name, you idiot!"
"But-"
"I said shut up!" he yelled and pointed the gun at him. "Now stop asking stupid questions or you're next."
You peeked up from your arm, seeing how far Devil had devolved. In the beginning, he was semi-organized (given how shittily the robbery was planned, there was at least some effort on his behalf), but the stress of the situation and his brother's mouth had finally snapped his last nerve.
Clown backed down and slowly sank to the ground beside your chair. Bobby began pacing again.
The phone range and you answered it.
"What's happening in there?" Hondo asked.
You could feel the devil's eyes on you. "You need to hurry."
"What happened?" he said again, fearing the worst.
You let out a breath. "Someone else is dead."
"Tell them we're going as fast as we can," he said.
You looked over at Bobby. "They're going as fast as they can. Please don't shoot anyone else."
"I'll shoot whoever I damn-well please," he said and took the phone from you, putting it to his ear. "You listen here, buddy. You don't tell me what to do, got it? Now, if that car isn't at the front door in five minutes, I'm killing everyone in here."
He slammed the phone into the holder before ripping it off of the desk and throwing it across the room. He stomped off, going back to his look out position from behind the line of people. He watched the doors impatiently, seemingly unbothered by the crying people before him. Their anguish brought him no joy, unlike his now-dead brother, as it was obvious that the people were merely pawns in his game. He didn't care about them whatsoever.
You laid your head down and whispered, "He's gonna kill you."
Clown made a worried noise in the back of his throat. "No-no he won't. He-he's my brother..."
"You blew his cover. Everyone here knows his name and it won't be hard to track down a Bobby in an armored car," you said, pausing to moan and shift your seated position. You couldn't hold your legs together anymore, knowing it was dangerous. It was a feeble attempt anyway. "He's already angry and you're the only one left brave enough to stand up to him."
He whined. "I-I'm really not."
"Yeah, you are," you told him, hoping to break through to him. "You've protected me from him this whole time. That took a lot of courage, I know it did."
"But... he's my brother... The only family I have left now," he said.
You looked at him, meeting his sad eyes past the mask. "Family wouldn't put you in this position."
He stared into your eyes for a moment, then looked away in contemplation. He didn't say anything for a moment, which felt like an eternity, and then he looked at you again. "What's your name?"
"Why does it matter now?" you asked.
"Because if I'm gonna die, I'd like to know the name of the lady I protected," he said.
You didn't understand what that meant, it could mean many things, and as you felt the pain getting worse, you couldn't think very well anyway. You told him your name between heavy breathes.
He gently wiped your forehead again, talking you through the pain. Then he took off his mask, revealing his face to you, and you were saddened to see how young he was. There was no doubt he was in his early twenties but he still had a baby face and the biggest eyes you'd ever seen a man have, giving him a deer in the headlights look.
"I'm Eric."
Then he stood up and moved away from you, walking over to another desk quietly. He moved out of your sight and you couldn't move much anymore, too tired to do much of anything as it were. Despite the situation, all you wanted to do was get this over with.
Then, there was a loud thud from where Eric had disappeared to.
Bobby turned around and marched over to you. "What the hell are you doing?"
You groaned, looking up at him. "Nothing."
He seethed again, "I've about had enough of you and you're whining."
"I'm about to push a watermelon out of me, what do you want from me?"
"I want you to shut u-" BANG!
He fell to the ground in front of you, his blood splattering on the desk. Looking over, Eric had his gun trained on his brother from behind the desk a few feet away, eerily still, like he was trained for this. It made your heart ache because your stomach was already twisted. What kind of life had this kid had that led him and his brothers to this?
As he walked over to you, he yelled at the other hostages, "Go! Get out of here! Go! Get out!" They listened without hesitance and ran screaming and crying for the door.
He crouched down beside his brother's body and took the gun off of him, sliding it across the floor. He then took his own gun and push it to follow. Then he turned to you, "Are you okay?"
You nodded. "More or less."
Eric couldn't say another word before S.W.A.T. came into the bank with guns at the ready. They aimed at him and he put his arms up, already on his knees. You screamed in pain and he turned to look at you, making Hondo yell at him to stay still, but he didn't seem to hear him. If he did, he didn't listen and reached out to you.
He took your hand and let you squeeze it as the pain made you sob.
You managed to cry out, "He's unarmed!"
The team got closer and saw the truth in your words. They pulled his hand from yours despite your tight grip and handcuffed him, getting him onto his feet. While Chris and Street patted him down, Luca and Hondo came to your side.
"Fucking hell, I could kill this guy for all this," Luca grunted, clearly angry. He took your hand into his.
You shook your head. "He's a hero, believe me."
"How is he-?" Hondo asked, but was cut off by your guttural scream.
Deacon shook his head as he watched. "We need to get her out of here. Now."
The paramedics came in with their gurneys and attended to the bodies on the floor, but by the time it was decerned that they were beyond saving, everyone was busy and there was no room for you anywhere. Luca picked you up and carried you outside in hopes of finding an ambulance to take you to the nearest hospital, but they were all tending to the injured who had run outside earlier.
Tan opened up the back doors of Black Betty and called out to Luca, ushering the team over. Street helped get you inside while Tan and Chris ran to the side doors to get in. Once you were laying on the floor, Luca behind you and holding you close, everyone else piled in and closed everything up, turning on the lights and sirens.
You were screaming the whole time, crying as it became too much. Your body was telling you to push and that was all you could think about doing. Luca was trying to soothe you, telling you that you would be at the hospital soon and that it would be okay. But your baby had other ideas, they had waited long enough.
"The baby's coming!" you cried out.
"We know, we're gonna-"
"No! Now! The baby's coming right now!"
You let out another scream as you pushed. Deacon slide onto the floor and pulled your legs up onto the seats on either side of you, pushing your dress away. He ripped your underwear to get a look at how things were progressing and then looked up at Luca, Street, and Hondo, "She's right. She's crowning."
Hondo called out to the front, "Tan, pull over!"
Luca held your hands as you rested you head back against his abdomen, crying as your body guided you. Everything you'd read and come to understand was nothing compared to the way your body told you what to do.
Black Betty came to a stop on the side of the road, but it only took three more powerful pushes that the ended the pressure. You ached, but the pain was lessened dramatically. You opened your eyes to see Deacon picking up your baby, who was a little chubby for a newborn and rather long, aka big like their daddy.
Deacon gently held them and patted their back, getting them to cry and clear their airways. He smiled at them and happily said, "Welcome to the world, Baby Luca."
Street rummaged around for anything to wrap the baby in, only for Chris to pass a fresh shirt to him from the front. He thanked her and helped Deacon wrap your little angel up to keep warm before they were laid on your chest. You took her, Luca's arm coming under yours to support you both.
"It's a girl," Deacon told you and you smiled. He smiled too, knowing that joy and pride well. "Congratulations."
Tan put Black Betty in gear and let everyone know he was going to start driving again, as you and your daughter needed to be taken to the hospital. After that, no one said anything. They just let you and Luca have your moment with your daughter.
Luca couldn't even speak. He had spent the day tirelessly trying to save hostages from a bad situation that only got worse as the minutes passed by, only to learn from Hondo that you were one of them minutes before they stormed in there. He ran to you as soon as he could and wanted to burn the robbers to the ground with how angry he was because you were caught in the middle of their idiocy. Then, as soon as he saw you were in labor, he was scared, too. However, now, all that stress and anger and fear was erased. You were safe in his arms with your daughter. He had a daughter! He was nothing my happy.
Street inevitably ruined the precious moment, but lightened it at the same time as he broke the silence. "I can't believe you gave birth in Black Betty."
The team didn't react until you laughed, which let them know they could laugh too.
"I'm just glad it wasn't in the bank," you said, the ache still in your heart for the people who were lost and the kid brother who had saved you. You looked at Hondo as you remembered him. "I wanna be there for Eric. He really did save those of us that he could."
Hondo didn't question you, because you were tired and hormonal and he knew you knew what you were talking about. He just nodded and said, "I'll talk to the DA, but for now, you just worry about that cutiepie you got, okay?"
"Okay," you said.
When you got to the hospital, you were taken to a room immediately. Not only because you were wheeled in with a baby in your arms, but because you had a team of S.W.A.T. officers escorting you. Luca went back with you and ensured you and your baby daughter were okay.
Despite being three and a half weeks early, she was healthy. She would need to stay a few extra days for observation, but that was okay with you. Both you and Luca wanted the best for her, so you knew she might need a little extra watching over because of her early arrival and the stress you were under, and you needed to recover as well. It would work out, you were sure.
Once that was cleared up, Luca sat beside you with your daughter asleep in her basinet at your bedside. He watched her with nothing but love in his eyes. He'd only been talking about how excited he was for her to 'hurry up and get here' in the months leading up to this moment. He hadn't cared if she were a boy or a girl, as you'd left finding out to be a surprise at the birth, because he was going to love his kid no matter what. You knew he was going to be an amazing father.
You watched him, tired as all hell, but couldn't fall asleep. Even after the day you'd had, you laid awake on some pain killers with a soft smile on your lips. "I love you."
Luca turned to you and chuckled. "I love you, too." He reached out for your hand and squeezed it gently. "You are the most amazing woman I've ever met, you know that?"
"You only tell me that at least once a day," you laughed softly, careful not to wake your sleeping angel.
"Well, I mean it so much this time," he told you, bringing your hand up to kiss your knuckles. "You're so strong and smart and brave. What you went through today was a lot and you powered through it like a champ. And you see the good in people even in situations when it's hard to see anything but bad."
"What can I say?" you asked, not really sure what there was to say. You just read the situation like it was. And it helped you and several other people get through it. "I'm just a woman."
"Nah, you're more than that," he said and leaned in closer, kissing your head. Your eyes closed and this time they were too heavy to lift back open. "You're Superwoman."
"If you say so," you mumbled. You then fell into a dreamless sleep, getting the much needed rest your deserved.
Lowkey, I'm now attached to the backstory I accidentally gave Bobby, Ghoul, and Eric, so here it is if anyone cares. Bobby, Ghoul - who's real name is Terry, and Eric were born in a less than ideal home. Raised by a worked to the bone mother and a father who had lengthy arrest record, they were doomed from the start. Bobby and Terry were closer in age to each other than either of them were to Eric, often getting into trouble and leaving him out. When they weren't getting suspended from school, they were pushing Eric around metaphorically and literally. They would often use Eric as a punching bag when they weren't getting into fights with each other. They mother wasn't around a lot as she worked multiple jobs to keep a roof over their heads. When she was around, she was frustrated and tired, often getting angry at them for little problems like leaving their shoes out for her to trip over and bigger issues like getting kicked out of school. Their father was in and out of jail for most of their lives, but when he was around, he taught them how to shoot, steal, and hot wire cars. Averse to these activities, Eric was once again the odd one out and often the target of his brothers' criticism. Their father often got drunk and ranted to his sons about his drawbacks in life, often blaming others. Due to this unstable environment, it was no wonder the brothers turned out the way they did. Bobby followed in their father's footsteps, often helping their old man with his criminal endeavors when he could. After their father's untimely death at the hands of a homeowner protecting himself after he broke into the house, Bobby was angry. He went on a bend of drinking and crime, ending him up in jail where he made friends. Once he was out, he started robbing houses and small business. Terry at least finished high school and got a job as a mechanic, which was stable enough for a while. He started to doing shotty work for cheap and got fired once his boss found out. He did a number of odd jobs after that. Eric was on the right track but couldn't catch a break. With a grant, he was able to start college but had to leave after his mother became ill. He was almost done with college when he dropped out to take care of her, but it was fruitless. He didn't blame his mom but rather the bad hand life had dealt him, but didn't grow very bitter. He got a shitty job and went about his life. However, their mother's death is what brought the brothers back together. It was several months after the funeral that Bobby came around with the idea to rob a bank. Terry was crashing on Eric's couch at the time and liked the idea, immediately liking the idea of free money and getting to go anywhere they wanted. The two oldest brothers talked Eric into it, telling him they could go live their dream lives and get out of the shambles they called a life. Plus, they were brothers, the only family he had left, was he really gonna left them do it alone?
And yeah, that's what I got for the bank robbing brothers. If it doesn't make any sense, I came up with all of this over the span of 8 hours and little to no sleep.
#pregnant reader#tw birth#tw pregnancy#tw violence#tw death#swat 2017#swat cbs#swat x reader#swat#dominique luca#dominique luca x reader#swat luca#luca x reader
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"The North Korean regime in the ‘50s developed a series of remarkably effective torture techniques, techniques that were so effective, in fact, that they were able to make captured American airmen admit to all sorts of atrocities they had not in fact committed, all the time, being convinced they had not, actually, been tortured. The techniques were quite simple. Just make the victim do something mildly uncomfortable—sit on the edge of chair, for example, or lean against a wall in a slightly awkward position—only, make them do it for an extremely long period of time. After eight hours the victim would be willing to do virtually anything to make it stop. But try going to the International Court of Justice at The Hague and tell them you’ve been made to sit on the edge of a chair all day. Even the victims were unwilling to describe their captors as torturers. When the CIA learned about these techniques—according to Korean friends of mine, they’re actually just particularly sadistic versions of classic Korean ways of punishing small children—they were intrigued, and, apparently, conducted extensive research on how they could be adopted for their own detention centers.
Again, sometimes, in Palestine, one feels one is in an entire country that’s being treated this way. Obviously, there is also outright torture, people who are actually being shot, beaten, tortured, or violently abused. But I’m speaking here even of the ones that aren’t. For most, it’s as if the very texture of everyday life has been designed to be intolerable—only, in a way that you can never quite say is exactly a human rights violation. There’s never enough water. Showering requires almost military discipline. You can’t get a permit. You’re always standing in line. If something breaks it’s impossible to get permission to fix it. Or else you can’t get spare parts. There are four different bodies of law that might apply to any legal situation (Ottoman, British, Jordanian, Israeli), it’s anyone’s guess which court will say what applies where, or what document is required, or acceptable. Most rules are not even supposed to make sense. It can take eight hours to drive 20 kilometers to see your girlfriend, and doing so will almost certainly mean having machine guns waved in your faces and being shouted at in a language you half understand by people who think you’re subhuman. So you do most of your dalliance by phone. When you can afford the minutes. There are endless traffic jams before and after checkpoints and drivers bicker and curse and try not to take it out on one another. Everyone lives no more than 12 or 15 miles from the Mediterranean but even on the hottest day, it’s absolutely impossible to get to the beach. Unless you climb the wall, there are places you can do that; but then you can expect to be hunted every moment by security patrols. Of course teenagers do it anyway. But it means swimming is always accompanied by the fear of being shot. If you’re a trader, or a laborer, or a driver, or a tobacco farmer, or clerk, the very process of subsistence is continual stream of minor humiliations. Your tomatoes are held and left two days to rot while someone grins at you. You have to beg to get your child out of detention. And if you do go to beseech the guards, those same guards might arbitrarily decide to hold you to pressure him to confess to rock-throwing, and suddenly you are in a concrete cell without cigarettes. Your toilet backs up. And you realize: you’re going to have to live like this forever. There is no “political process.” It will never end. Barring some kind of divine intervention, you can expect to be facing exactly this sort of terror and absurdity for the rest of your natural life."
-David Graeber, Reflections from a Visit to the West Bank
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enhypen works
quick notes: i will not write explicit content regarding ni-ki although he is considered an adult. mature themes may center around him, but absolutely no explicit content from me.
human blood bank series 🧛🏼 ot7
“season one” || one • two • three • four • five • six • seven • eight
“season two” || one • two • three • four • five • six • seven • eight • nine • ten
"season three" || one • two • three • four • five • six • seven • eight • nine • ten
cherry popper series 🍒
heeseung — jay — jake — sunghoon
aftermath: heeseung — jay — jake — sunghoon
frat boy series 🫦
heeseung — one • two • three • four
sunghoon — one • two • three • four • five
jake — one • two
stalker enhypen 👀
obsessed with you: heeseung — one • two • three
don’t blame me: jay — one • two
look what you made me do: jungwon — one two three four five
the co worker: jake
drabbles • one shots • thoughts 💭 individual members
heeseung 🐹
red flag
jay 🐈⬛
red flag bratty gf x dom jay (drabble)
jake 🐕🐺
collection red flag
sunghoon ��
with lee minho of skz - besties with both red flag
sunoo 🦊
nothing yet
jungwon 🐈
nothing yet
ni-ki 🐆🐥
red flag high school crush
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⇢ 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃!𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐂𝐊 𝐈𝐍 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐒𝐓
mentions of guns n robbers, slight violence, crowds
the bank is louder than you expected. too loud. voices pile on top of each other, tense, impatient, restless. fluorescent lights buzz overhead, sterile and sharp, cutting across polished tile and glaringly white walls. everything smells like anxiety. perfume, sweat, cologne, floor cleaner. your fingers stay curled around the strap of your bag, and your chest rises too fast, breath catching on each inhale.
you hate crowds.
matt’s behind you. not too close, not too far, just enough to anchor you. silent and steady, a presence that hums at your back like a perimeter line. he’s scanning the area. you know he is. you felt it when he leaned down earlier, voice low and quiet, “five minutes tops. keep your head down.” you nodded, because speaking felt like too much.
but now the lobby is stuffed. bodies shuffle forward, shoulder to shoulder, laughter in the wrong places. a man near you smells like cigarettes and something chemical. your skin crawls. your vision fuzzes, edges rimmed in static, and when someone bumps your shoulder hard enough to make you sway, your envelope slips from your grip.
you drop to grab it, knees bending and fingers fumbling, and when you straighten again, your stomach lurches. you reach your hand out, instinctive and desperate. your hand finds matt’s. he freezes.
not obviously. not to anyone else. but you feel it, the brief tension in his fingers, the way his palm goes rigid before softening. he doesn’t move, doesn’t squeeze. just lets you hold on, like anything more might scare you away.
your grip isn’t tight, just present. your small fingers shake inside his, and you keep your eyes down. you can’t look at him. you don’t want to see whatever’s on his face. confusion, concern, pity.
but he doesn’t let go.
instead, he shifts, just slightly, placing himself more squarely between you and the rest of the lobby. it’s seamless and protective, like your hand in his triggered some protocol.
you breathe in. not quite relief, not quite fear. just a kind of stillness.
and then—
the first gunshot splits the air.
matt’s hand tightens.
hard.
the shot doesn’t hit anything. it cracks through the bank like a lightning bolt, and the crowd reacts exactly how you’d expect— screaming, diving for cover, dropping everything. your legs lock in place, your hand still clutching matt’s.
his voice is in your ear almost immediately, low and controlled. “down. now.”
you drop behind the nearest marble pillar as chaos explodes around you. matt crouches in front, shielding you with his whole body, one arm braced against the floor, the other slipping the concealed holster at his side. you can smell the metal, the cold sweat on his skin, the leather strap of his watch catching on your jacket.
but it’s crowded. too many people. too many bodies panicking in tight space. someone screams, someone else sobs. you press your hands over your ears, knees tucked to your chest, and matt’s shadow shifts in front of you.
he’s trying to see. trying to track. his breathing is steady. yours is not.
“four,” he mutters, barely audible over the noise. “masks. pistols. amateurs.”
you’re shaking. not crying, just overwhelmed. the sounds, the smell of fear, the heat of it all. you feel like you’re unraveling from the inside out. your fingers twitch against the cold tile. your hand brushes against the hem of his suit without realizing it, clinging to it.
“hey.” his gentle voice snaps you back.
he crouches lower, close enough that your forehead nearly touches his chest.
“you with me?” he asks.
you nod, not sure if he believes it. his eyes sweep the room again, razor sharp. “no one’s dead. they’re yelling, not shooting. it’s a scare tactic.”
you don’t say anything. can’t. your voice won’t come out.
his hand finds the side of your face for just a second, fingers curling at your jaw, thumb brushing just under your ear. it’s gentle and strangely intimate, grounding in a way that lets you breathe.
“i need you to stay here. do not move unless i tell you to. understand?”
you nod again, smaller this time. your body presses into the wall like you want to disappear into it.
then he stands, and it’s like watching a switch flip.
his whole posture shifts— taller, broader, that quiet stoic stiffness sliding into place like armor. he tucks the gun back into its holster, half visible beneath his suit, but doesn’t draw it, not yet. he’s assessing, letting them underestimate him.
he walks calmly, slowly, like he’s some guy trying to reason with the robbers, but every step is calculated. his eyes flick to exits, cameras, guards. always working.
you hold your breath.
one of them shouts. waving a gun, demanding something about keys and vaults and cooperation. another grabs a woman by the wrist, she screams, and that’s when you see matt’s head tilt slightly, calculating. he steps forward again, hands up, his body loose but readied and controlled.
“you’re not thinking,” he says to the nearest one. his voice doesn’t carry far, but it doesn’t need to. it’s his tone that catches their attention, low and commanding.
“fuck you say?” the man jerks toward him, gun raised.
matt doesn’t flinch. “you’re panicking. your hands are shaking. your friends can hear it in your voice. they’re already doubting you.”
the man twitches.
“you’re trying to prove something. that’s dangerous. to them. to her,” matt nods toward the hostage. “to you.”
and for a second, it works. the man hesitates. lowers the gun slightly. matt shifts forward another inch, enough to draw the eye, enough to bait.
but then, someone behind him shouts, “shut the fuck up!”
and a third man rushes forward, catching matt off guard. he slams into him, and the gun clatters to the floor, skidding under a bench.
you suck in a breath, but matt moves like water. he twists, grabs the guy by the collar and slams him into the floor with a soundless, practiced force. no wasted effort, no hesitation, just precision.
but another one is coming, sprinting toward him, and he one makes the mistake of grabbing you. his hand closes on your arm, yanks you half to your feet, and the breath leaves your lungs in a choked squeak.
you barely register matt’s snarl before it happens.
his fist connects with the guy’s face hard enough to crack bone. he goes down instantly.
matt’s hand is on your back, steady, pressing you behind him. his body coiled like a loaded gun, jaw clenched, eyes dark.
he doesn’t speak, not until he’s sure they’re down, disarmed, dazed, restrained by the now returning security guards and a few brave civilians. sirens wail in the distance.
matt finally turns to you. “you okay?”
you nod once, eyes wide. his voice softens. only for you.
“you sure?”
you swallow, nod again. he touches your cheek, his touch featherlight, thumb brushing over the skin, grounding you again. “let’s get out of here.”
—
later, back in the car, you’re wrapped in your cardigan with your knees tucked to your chest, still silent. your body hasn’t caught up to what happened. everything feels muffled.
matt’s hand rests on the wheel, but his eyes are on you. his knuckles are scraped. he hasn’t said much since you left the scene.
“you reached for me,” he says quietly.
you glance at him, surprised. he looks away, like he’s not sure if he should’ve said it.
you whisper, “i didn’t mean to. i was just...”
“i know,” he says. then, softer, “i liked it.”
you look down at your hands.
he speaks again, his voice low, like it’s only meant for you. “if you ever want to do that again— grab my hand—don’t wait til the world’s ending.”
you don’t answer, but you reach for him again.
this time, your movements are slow.
this time, he squeezes back.

a/n: thank you @ripmothman for the request! tried to include ur idea for the holding his hand to feel safer in public. also only thing getting me thru uni n work is my headphones n hearing loss ✊
find more bodyguard!matt here find the bodyguard!matt taglist here find my masterlist here
🏷: @thicknick19 @sturnslutz @viviansturns @cayleeuhithinknott @briizysturn @devotedlyteenagemusic @drewswife @sturnsblogs @auttysturnz @mattspillowprincess @adoremattsturns @dolliraez @sturniolo1trips @sturns-mermaid @sophsturns @444sturns @adorechris @rriverscuomo @megameatymatt @izzylovesmatt @y2kstarr @owensbabygirl @courta13 @ribbonlovergirl @passionfruitchris @sophand4n4 @slvtf0rchr1s @matts-wife @slutformatt17 @mattsplaything @slut4chrisloads @chrismoans @ariheartsmatt @surprisecurlyfriess @bernardsbendystraws @lezleeferguson-120
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#zenithsturniolo#zenith writes ☏#zenith.matt ☏#bodyguard.matt.quiet.reader#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#chris sturniolo angst#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo x reader#sturniolo edit#sturniolo fandom#the sturniolo triplets#the sturniolos#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo triplets x reader#sturniolotriplets#sturniolos#sturniolo triplets fanfic#sturniolo smut#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo triplets smut#nicolas sturniolo#matthew sturniolo x reader#matthew bernard sturniolo#sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo
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can you see the stars in your dreams (and do they have a lot to say about me) - Part 14
Or: a secret Admirer AU
TW: homophic language used due to internalized homophobia
PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7 || PART 8 || PART 9 || PART 10 || PART 11 || PART 1 || PART 13
Steve doesn’t know what’s worse, not being able to see the expression on Eddie’s face, or the moment he turns around and he can see it. He looks like Steve just shot his dog. But, wouldn’t Chrissy be the dog in that metaphor? Steve drops it before Robin can somehow sense his train of thought and burst into the room with the sole purpose of punching him.
“So, what?” Eddie asks, voice sharp and angry. “This was all just some joke? Pick on the freak? Make him think a pretty girl actually likes him?”
Any sadness he’d been feeling is wiped off his face now, masked over with a tired sort of rage. It’s tempting to go along with Eddie’s assumptions. Yes, it was all just a joke. Yes, they’d all been laughing behind his back for weeks on end. After all, Eddie doesn’t look hurt, he looks pissed.
But, it’s too late. Steve had already seen the anguish in Eddie’s eyes before he’d banked it.
“No,” Steve murmurs, only noticing that Eddie’s mid-tirade when he stops talking. His head’s buzzing too loud to hear much else. “It wasn’t a joke.”
Eddie scoffs, waiting in pointed silence until Steve raises his head and meets his eyes. “Then how do you explain all this?” He gyrates his hand around the room, encompassing all four of their bodies with jerky movements. “Huh, Harrington?”
Steve swallows. He hopes it’s not as audible to everyone else as it is in his own ears, but by the way Eddie’s gaze snaps down to it before pulling back up to meet his eyes again, that hope is futile.
“I just—” Steve starts, forcing himself to keep looking at Eddie, even as his eyes flay him open. “It wasn’t supposed to get this complicated.”
“What does that mean?” Eddie asks, gritting out every word, body leaning toward Steve like he wants to reach across the distance between them and strangle him.
“I just like you, okay?” Steve snaps. Eddie jerks back like he’d just taken a blow. “I liked you, and I thought this would be a good way to, I don’t know, work through it?”
“You like me?” Eddie asks, almost laughing, just like that day in the cafeteria when he was singling out the jocks, just like he always does when something’s not funny but he’s pretending it is.
It hurts anyway.
“I’m sorry,” Steve mutters, staring down at his own lap, unable to look at anyone in the room. “I didn’t mean to make it your problem.”
“Didn’t mean to—” Eddie snaps, and Steve sees an abrupt enough movement that Steve’s afraid Eddie’s going to hit him. Steve jerks back into the couch, heartbeat rabbiting in his chest, but all Eddie’s done is stand, hands clenched, mouth snarling. “How the hell is tricking me into thinking Chrissy Cunningham liked me not making it my problem?”
“Eddie—“ Jeff cuts in, tone a warning, but Eddie doesn’t even seem to notice.
“You really think that’s ‘not making it my problem?’” Eddie asks, throwing finger quotations around it mockingly as he glares down at Steve. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
Steve feels small, wishes he was smaller—he wants to sink into the cracks of the Munson’s ratty couch and never be seen again. This moment is too much for him.
He’s known ever since that moment in the cafeteria when Eddie’d pressed his lips to Chrissy’s hand that they’d end up here. He knew, but he’d kept writing the letters, kept Chrissy embroiled into his mess. Chrissy who’s standing silent and shocked behind Eddie, hand pressed to her mouth as Steve’s mess implodes around him.
“I’m sorry,” Steve replies, voice small. He’s not sure if he’s talking to Eddie, or Chrissy, or hell, even Jeff. He just knows that he really, truly is sorry.
“You’re sorry?” Eddie demands, and he’s pacing now, hands fisted into his own hair. “You’re sorry for what? For derailing my life? For making me think someone might actually like me? For what?”
Steve doesn’t say anything as he watches Eddie’s movements become more frenetic. He’s pulling his hair hard now, and all Steve wants to do is reach out and grab Eddie’s hands, make him stop hurting himself. But, it’s not his place, so he clenches his hands into fists atop his own thighs and looks up at the boy he likes unraveling at the seams. Because of him.
“The first time a girl actually likes me and it’s you.” It lands like venom, leaching through all the sinew and bone of Steve’s body and turning his beating heart into a pulpy mess. “What, you thought just because everyone calls me a freak that I’d be a quee—”
“Eddie!” It’s Chrissy and Jeff, both shouting out at the same time, clearly trying to get Eddie to stop talking before he says something irreversible.
It’s too late: Steve’s already heard him.
He doesn’t know what his own face is doing, but when Eddie finally looks at him, his face goes white, then turns sort of green like he’s going to be sick. When he takes a halting step forward, Steve can’t help the way he presses further into the couch, hands shaking where they’re still clenching in his lap.
He wants to scream, or cry, or die so he doesn’t have to do this anymore. But, Eddie’s right, this is all his fault, so the least he can do is offer up an explanation.
“It’s not Chrissy’s fault,” Steve says, looking down at his own shaking hands, willing them to lie still. “Or Jeff’s. I dragged them into this, so don’t be mad at them, okay?”
“Steve—” Chrissy says, voice choking with emotion.
“I was afraid.” Steve talks right over her, doesn’t even look her way. He can’t, or he’ll break. “But, that’s no excuse for making you have to deal with my bullshit.”
“Steve,” Chrissy tries again.
“I’m sorry.” Steve finally looks up from his lap, meeting Eddie’s fathomless eyes. “I’ll leave you alone now.”
Steve gets up on shaky legs and walks to the trailer’s front door, giving Eddie a wide berth. No one says anything as he makes his way through the small living room, or when he opens the door and steps through.
It’s only as the door’s shutting closed behind him that he hears Eddie say, “Shit Harrington, wait.”
Steve doesn’t. He walks down the Munson’s drive and straight out of the trailer park.
No one follows him.
***
The silence hangs like a noose in the trailer after the click of the door closing quietly behind Harrington’s drooping frame. Eddie stares into nothing, entirely blank.
“That was cruel.” It’s Chrissy who says it. Chrissy, who pretended to like him, who led him on, who…was just trying to protect her friend.
“Not any crueler than he was to me,” Eddie mutters, still staring at the closed door feeling inexplicably like he should run after him.
Instead, he turns his back on the door and tries to forget the slope of Harrington’s shoulders as he’d walked out on him.
His brain’s full of fog, emotions swirling around too quickly for him to catch any of them. He can’t make sense of any of this. Not Chrissy who pretended to like him or Steve Harrington, who actually did, not—
“You—” Eddie starts, eyes focusing as something else takes over his brain as he sets his sights on Jeff. “You knew?”
Jeff grimaces, but straightens his spine and tilts his chin up like Eddie’s the enemy now. “Yeah,” he says, all flippant, as if Eddie’s world isn’t shattering around his feet. “I knew.”
Eddie laughs, can’t help it with the way anger’s pooling in his gut. “And you didn’t tell me?”
“It was Steve’s secret to te—”
“Screw Steve!” Eddie shouts, suddenly enough that Chrissy takes a startled step back. “You’re supposed to be my friend.”
Jeff scoffs, stepping in front of Chrissy. “Your friend?” he demands with an incredulous laugh that makes Eddie want to strangle him. “You didn’t even tell me about the letters in the first fucking place!”
He stomps forward, coming at Eddie like he’s going to do—something, Eddie will never know what because Chrissy wraps her arm around his waist and pulls him back with a chiding, worried, “Jeff.”
Eddie stares at the way her fingers curl proprietarily into the fabric of his t-shirt, the way he steadies under her touch and takes a step back, the way he stands in the cradle of her hold like it’s his birthright.
“Hold—hold on,” Eddie says, holding his hand out like that’ll stop the dots from connecting in his own mind. “Are you two—”
He doesn’t finish the thought, can’t put words to what he’s accusing them of, not right now. But, as he flails his fingers between them, they both look at the floor, in goddamn sync, even with their own guilt. “Are you fucking serious right now?”
Anger’s always been Eddie’s worst enemy; he’s pretty sure it’s an inherited trait from his pa, the way rage makes his blood boil, makes him take things too far, makes him react like verbal words are a physical threat. Just like his pa, no matter how much he doesn’t want to be.
“So, you what?” he asks, whole body shaking with the force of his anger. “Decided to lead me on while fucking my best friend?”
He laughs, sharp and mean when Chrissy jerks like he slapped her. He clenches his fist against the desire to do just that.
“You don’t get to talk to her like that,” Jeff replies quietly, like that’ll make him the reasonable one.
“Fuck o—“
“You don’t own her,” Jeff interrupts him, Eddie screams in his throat, wild with the fire burning through him.
Jeff sighs, low and disappointed, just like Uncle Wayne does if Hop picks Eddie up for some trumped-up charges, or he fails another pop quiz, or he brings in more money he can’t explain to his Uncle.
The thought of Wayne is what does him in. Even in absentia, that old man brings him back to himself. Eddie shudders, takes a step back and stares at the carpet beneath his toes, trying to bank his anger back beneath his ribs where it can’t hurt anyone else.
“I’m sorry we hurt you,” Jeff continues, voice soft, soft soft. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what was going on. But Eddie?”
It takes a long moment for Eddie to drag gaze away from his own feet and up to Jeff’s face. Jeff waits, silent, until Eddie meets his eyes.
“You need to figure your own shit out, too,” he says gently. “Because if you don’t? You’re going to hurt everyone around you, not just Steve.”
Eddie looks back at the door Harrington—Steve—had walked through, feelings twisting around on themselves until they’re choking him.
“Harrington,” Eddie starts, throat catching on the consonants of his name like it’d been years since he last spoke. “Did he really—?”
He can’t finish this thought either, hopes Jeff or Chrissy will pluck it from his mind and answer it for him.
“Like you?” Jeff asks, waiting for Eddie to nod his assent before answering. “Yeah, man. He does.”
The present tense is what does him in. Does. Steve Harrington, king of the jocks, liar, boy, likes him. Enough to write letters to him. He doesn’t know what to do with this, where to put it in the reality of his life.
“Oh.”
“You can’t tell anyone, Eddie,” Chrissy says, taking a step around Jeff to look up at Eddie with pleading eyes. “They’ll kill him.”
It’s only then, staring at the terror on Chrissy’s face, that the magnitude of the secret he’s just learned sinks in. Harrington, lady-killer, probable prom king, jock extraordinaire, is queer.
The vindictive part of Eddie he tries to keep caged wants to sling this around— Harrington’s just comeuppance for every time he’s made the rest of them feel less than, feel like a freak. But, even with his anger barely banked, Eddie knows the punishment wouldn’t fit the crime.
Harrington had, what? Laughed snidely behind Hagan after standing by while he’d seen a nerd get his books knocked out of his hands? Had been born with a perfect face and perfect hair in a castle of a house, so he’d been idolized for it.
Telling wouldn’t take that all away—it’d leave Harrington dead.
Even Hagan doesn’t deserve that.
So, all Eddie says is, “I won’t,” quietly, hoping she believes him.
She sighs, slumping into Jeff, trusting him to hold her up. Eddie doesn’t want to see it anymore; he can’t be in the same room as those two and not let the fire in his blood bleed through to his words.
He stands, stiff, unsure, and asks, “can you guys just go?”
“Eddie—“
“Jeff, please,” Eddie asks, voice breaking on the last word.
“Okay.”
Jeff ushers Chrissy out of his trailer and, just before the door shuts behind him, Eddie calls out, “Jeff?”
“Yeah, buddy?” Jeff calls back, not turning back around, not closing the door.
“I’ll call you,” he says, hoping it’s loud enough for his friend to hear. “Okay?”
Jeff doesn’t point out the lack of time frame or the way Eddie’s voice shakes. He’s good like that, always has been, no matter how mad they get at each other. “You call, and I’ll pick up.”
Without another word, Jeff lets the door close. Eddie stands there stationary until he hears the sound of a car starting, kicking up gravel all the way out of the trailer park. Only then, does he collapse onto the couch and bury his head in his hands.
It’s a mistake—the pressure of his hand making pain bloom hard and fast on the bruise on his eyes. Eddie groans, tired, in pain, and completely done. He wants Uncle Wayne to brush his hair out of his face, wants Jeff to sit at his side, or Gareth to light a joint for him, or Chrissy to bump their shoulders together.
He wants—
The bag of frozen peas Harrington had handed him have gone mushy and warm.
The trailer’s quiet, and Eddie’s all alone.
PART 15
#koko's steddie secret admirer au#steddie#my fic#the moment you were all waiting for. now it's just ow ow ow ow
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‧₊˚✧ ❛[ don't cry now ]❜


━━━ .°˖✧ requested by @buniisdiary & anonymous ˚₊ ⊹
ft. hwang in-ho (young il) x f! reader — squid game
╰₊✧ you allow the man whom you believe is a fellow player to comfort you during a meltdown, completely oblivious to his true identity and intentions┊3.7k words
setting: season 2, episode 6 contains: smut!! dom in-ho & sub reader┊yandere, age gap (reader is early 20s, in-ho is late 40s/early 50s), innocent/naive crybaby reader, canon-typical violence, fingering, unprotected piv, loss of virginity, breeding
➤ author's note: oh god this is one of my first squid game wips? i was watching horton hears a who while finishing this up, but i’m strangely proud of it
you were shaking so much, it’s a wonder how you were still walking up and down those brightly colored stairs without collapsing. the final round of mingle games was the closest you’ve ever been to death so far, and you swear you brushed against the skeletal arms of death with a glimpse of one of his bony hands outstretched under his dark garments, ready to take you for his own. you still aren’t sure if it was a malfunction or a miracle that one of the doors popped open to reveal an empty room to house you and the woman you were with mere milliseconds after the countdown ended and before the guards entered with their guns blazing, but you were still alive to see another day. whether or not you were grateful for it remained a lingering question when it just meant you had to wake up the next morning, go through these death games thinly masquerading as an easy way to pay back debt all over again, and watch more brains get splattered on the floors if they weren’t your own.
collapsing onto the bottom bunk, you wished for the lights to turn out already so that you could fall asleep and forget about this nightmare. once again, the room was empty with fewer bunks than last time. out of the corner of your eye, you could see the rapper with purple hair and his goon celebrating their survival, talking about playing “one more game.” three hundred to four hundred million won still wasn’t enough, they wanted more and they were willing to put their lives on the line for it.
you felt like you were going to be sick at the lack of humanity in the room. in just a few days, people were already wishing death upon others if it meant they could stay and earn more money. did none of them have loved ones they wished to see again? did none of them consider the families who would never even get to have a proper burial for the ones who died within these walls? did none of them care for anything other than the transparent piggy bank hanging from the ceiling, collecting more paper cash with every bullet fired in another person’s skull? you didn’t care what they did with their own lives, but you did care that their choices impacted everyone else who wanted to leave. you didn’t even care if it still wasn’t enough money to pay off all your debts, you’re willing to do any dirty deed to dig yourself out at the expense of your own dignity, all you wanted to do was go home.
tears started to drip down your waterline. you didn’t think you were ever going home at this rate. you didn’t think you were ever going to be in the comfort of your own bedroom again, ever going to play with your pet again, ever going to celebrate your birthday again, ever going to see the bright full moon alongside the twinkling stars again— the last sight you were ever going to see was a masked guard in hot pink wielding a rifle with the fatal shot ringing in your ears because you lost some stupid game you haven’t played since you were a kid, and it could happen as soon as tomorrow.
you thought of young-mi, who cried out yesterday that she wanted the games to end and that she wanted to go home as well. poor, sweet young-mi, who was pushed out of her path and couldn’t make it in time to save herself, now lies in a black coffin neatly wrapped with a pink bow instead of the bunk next to you like she usually did from the stress-induced exhaustion.
it was just too much for you, and you started sobbing uncontrollably at the loss. the shock from the initial bloodshed had worn off, and the suffocating weight of reality dawned upon you, knees against your chest as you curled up in the little ball with your eyes shut tight to escape the bright white fluorescent lights shining from all sides. it isn’t the first time you cried in here, but it’s certainly the biggest meltdown you've ever had in your life. young-mi would always comfort you and you would her, but now she’s gone and you’re going to suffer the same fate.
people started to stare and whisper at your behavior, acting like it was erratic when you didn’t think it even came close to representing how you felt. you were surprised you weren’t wailing and screaming like a banshee. the people who also had a red badge like you looked upon you with sympathetic looks and pity, but the people who proudly sported a blue badge were mostly judgmental like you weren’t grateful for this golden opportunity of cash or death.
“come on, pretty girl! don’t cry,” thanos called out, approaching you and trying to wrap an arm around you, “just one more game, we’ll have enough to pay off our debts with extra!” his tone was so cheerful, already able to envision himself drifting around on the street in an expensive car and partying in a new spacious mansion.
although he was trying to console you in his own… unique way, you promptly slapped him away, “i won’t even be alive to pay off my debts, you asshole! i’m going to get killed like everyone else has, and you could too! i don’t understand how you could be so normal about it all when people are dying for this money, do the drugs you take stop you from feeling basic emotions too?!”
he let go of you, staring blankly like he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to laugh at how surprisingly observant you were or beat the shit out of you for yelling out his secret without thinking. being a pretty girl didn’t exempt you from his rage, even if he frequently acted like it would in an attempt to get on your good side or in your pants. the effects of the colorful pills from the mingle games still haven’t worn off, so this was either going to make him mellow enough to brush it off without any grudges at the insult or make him aggressive enough to start a fight.
“alright, i believe that’s enough,” a familiar voice of a third party interrupted the conversation, smooth and authoritative with expected compliance for his command. “she’s clearly upset, i don’t think you should bother her anymore.”
you looked up to see young-il next to you with an amiable smile on his face, surprised to see him coming to your rescue when you truthfully thought it would be hyun-ju, but your unexpected hero was more than welcome. you haven’t had too many interactions with him, primarily just existing in the same space as allies, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t secretly admire him from afar. he was so handsome despite his age and seemed to retain his empathy, unlike some others here, always caring and looking out for you as well as everyone else who needed a little extra attention like jun-hee and the elderly folk. every time you see him smile at you during these trying times, a little flame of hope for humanity sparkles within you.
thanos glared at him, recalling the humiliating beating both he and nam-gyu endured at his hands in front of everyone, and relented with his command. there’s something about that man that scared him enough to back off without a second thought, not just how he managed to kick his ass, there was something genuinely unnerving about him that no one else seemed to notice.
no one seems to notice the little glances he makes at the cameras and guards without fear. no one seems to notice how he always knows a little more than everyone else about these games. no one seems to notice that he sticks by the claimed previous winner as if he is trying to keep an eye on him. no one seems to notice how he studies you from afar in a predatory way, like how a starving wolf studies a lamb prancing about before devouring it.
no one pays attention because they have bigger things to worry about on their mind. they don’t think there’s anything special about him and that he’s just another player trying to pay off their crippling debts, but little do they know about the omnipresent power he holds over everything that happens on this god-forsaken island.
“are you okay? he didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“n-no, he didn’t…” god, you were a sight, shivering in fear, hastily trying to wipe away the tears falling from your puffy eyes .”’m sorry you had to see all that, sir,” you sniffled, embarrassed, seemingly fine with the idea of breaking down in front of everyone else, but not him, which he found so fucking adorable. “would it be okay if…” you hesitated for a moment, “would it be okay if you stayed here with me for a bit?”
your teams have somewhat merged since the last game, but you were still scared of thanos coming to bother or worse after you called him out on his little secret. even if the other tried to shoo him away, he had this inflated sense of ego where he thought he could do whatever he wanted without thinking about anyone else, so unless they were a guard or they physically picked a fight with him and he lost, he would continue to do as he pleased which would possibly include personally eliminating you from the games like he’s done to others before. the only person who has put him in his place is young-il, so it’s only natural that you would feel safest with him.
he would rather have you all to himself, but he doesn’t mind having you join his group where he could keep a closer eye on you between the discussions of the vote.
throughout the entire voting process, you were a nervous wreck. you wanted to go home so bad, but when the numbers added up to a tie, you broke down once again. there was still a glimmer of hope, but it fell out of your hands and shattered on the ground. jun-hee and dae-ho tried their best to comfort you, but it was difficult when they themselves were so uncertain about their futures as well.
“oh, don’t cry now,” young-il tutted, wrapping you in a hug and patting you on the back. “come on, i’ll take you to the bathroom to wash up.”
nodding with a sniffle, you accepted his hand graciously as he pulled you off the bed. you wish you were stronger, strong enough to try to talk the other players into voting x so that you could go home rather than just bawling your eyes out at everything, but instead, you were only blinking away your tears and keeping your eyes trained on the ground as you shuffled along.
you didn’t question why the guards allowed him to bring you into the restroom without giving him any nonsense like they always did. you didn’t see the look they exchanged, one of absolute authority and a hidden one of understanding. you didn’t know his true intentions, watching you intently in the mirror as you washed your face with the water flowing from the sink’s tap.
“i don’t know you do it,” you whispered, “i don’t know you stay so strong in a situation like this, i feel like i’m losing it with every passing second… i wish i could be more like you. i’m so useless.”
“no, don’t say nonsense like that,” he assured, rubbing soothing circles into your back as he pulled you in for a hug as you sobbed into his shoulder. “it’s thanks to people like you who remind me to have hope in humanity.”
it isn’t entirely false, you truly remind him of how beautiful humanity can be in a situation where sanity decays and reduces people to animals who think of nothing but their survival. you still remain thoughtful and innocent despite all that is going to destroy those virtues, and are so much stronger than you will ever realize.
it makes him think that you could handle someone like him, someone who is broken and intensely possessive with the desire to have you for himself. he thinks he has the right to be a bit selfish when it comes to you, and before you knew it, his lips had found their way pressed onto yours. he isn’t gentle, yet he’s clearly holding back, as if he wanted to consume you whole but didn’t want to scare you away.
although it wouldn’t matter if you were scared, you were already trapped.
you were frozen for a moment when he pulled away and let out a little disappointed sigh, “i’m sorry, that was inappropriate of me. i shouldn’t have—”
“no, it’s okay,” you blurted out.
it isn’t your first kiss, but it’s the first kiss that made you feel the spark you’ve only ever read about in romance novels before, like fireworks at midnight of the new year. were you crazy for finding it so comforting? have you lost all your shame for asking him if he could do it again?
he looked at you in slight disbelief, but was more than happy to follow your request. his hand came to the back of your head and pulled you closer to him, recapturing your lips with his. he was a bit rougher this time, his tongue darting out to request access and explore your mouth. you didn’t quite know what to do with yourself, just standing still like a life-sized doll, but he seemed more than content to take control over you as he lifted you up to seat you on the porcelain edge of the sink.
you’re everything he dreamed of and more, but he still wasn’t satisfied. he wanted more, and you could feel his desire poking through his tracksuit pants rubbing against your thigh as he pressed you against the wall. his lips lowered to your jaw, then to your neck, making your head spin with unfamiliar sensations. you knew what he wanted, you were naive, not outright stupid, but did you want it to?
“is this okay?”
you weren’t sure. were you really willing to give your first time to an older man you barely knew? in a setting like this? you always dreamed of your first time being romantic, with someone you trusted in the comfort of your bedroom instead of a near stranger in a dingy restroom, but with the way the past few days were going, you weren’t sure if you would be able to ever live out that fantasy and relented, “y-yeah, it’s okay…”
he chose to ignore the doubt in your voice. he had you right where he wanted, and he didn’t know what he would do with himself if you said otherwise. it’s embarrassing how desperate he must seem, like a teenager doing it with his crush for the first time, but you were too wrapped up in the situation to notice. he hastily pulled off your clothing, finding the soft, untouched skin hiding underneath, and running a hand over its smoothness. you felt shy at the way he looked at you, like you were the most beautiful woman in the world and like he’s never seen anything that came even close before, making you flustered and instinctively want to hide away.
young-il didn’t give you the chance to do so as his hand dipped into your underwear and his fingers brushed against your heat. you haven’t even realized how soaked you were from a single kiss, but he didn’t give you the time to dwell on the surprise of how quickly it took for you to be excited as his fingers gently pressed into your core. you’re so tight around just two of his fingers, already gasping at the foreign feeling and squirming— it made him wonder if he would even be able to fit, but he’s nothing if not patient. he had all the time in the world to spend with you now.
“shh, it’s okay, you’re doing so good,” he breathed, languidly pumping his digits in and out of you, watching all of your pretty expressions like a hawk as your eyes scrunched up and your chest heaved. when he came closer to wrap his lips around one of your sensitive nipples hardened by the cold air, he could almost hear your heartbeat beating rapidly as you let out a little moan.
you weren’t exactly sure if you were doing as good as he made it sound; you weren’t doing much of anything aside from sitting there and taking his fingers. he was doing all of the work, and yet your entire body felt like it was on fire and starting to sweat. did it normally feel this intense? you weren’t even sure how you would be able to handle the real thing. as you felt an unfamiliar tightening in your abdomen, your hand flew to cover your mouth, self-conscious at how loud you were starting to become, “w-wait, sir, i think i’m going to—” the last word lingered as your sex-hazed mind tried to think of a word, a word for the sensation that has never happened to you until now, but you didn’t have the chance to as you suddenly gushed all over his hand and let out a muffled cry.
“aw, did you come already?” young-il seemed to be different now, more playful, as he raised his fingers to his mouth to lick them clean of your arousal and savoring your sweetness on his tongue. the taste was addicting, and he had half a mind to fall on his knees and to lap up all of your spilled juices right then and there, but he couldn’t wait anymore and needed to be inside of you. he doesn’t think he’s ever needed anything so badly before, making quick work to lower his sweats and underwear, “it’s going to hurt a bit at first, but it will feel good after a minute, i promise.” he had to hold back a chuckle at how you gawked at his size for a moment, wondering if you could really take it when you could barely handle just two of his fingers, but he knows he prepped you enough.
“okay,” you murmured dumbly and leaned back, feeling your back hit the cold mirror attached to the wall above the sink. any thoughts you had in your head had basically been fucked out of it, embarassing as it may sound. all you could do was wrap your arms around his neck, burning your face into the crook of his neck as he gently pushed himself into you, inch by inch, holding himself back from ruthlessly ramming into you before you were ready.
all your breaths were short and shallow, the sensation of being filled up like this encompassing your body in a mix of pain and pleasure. it hurt being stretched out and you couldn’t help but whine, your distress not going unnoticed by young-il as his thumb came up to your clit and circled it while peppering kisses to your face, “that’s it, just like that, tell me when you’re ready for me to move.”
after a few moments, you nodded, signaling him to continue. he’s slow at first, getting you used to the push and pull. it took a minute or two for the pain to dissolve into pure ecstasy. you found yourself pulling on his sleeves, silently asking him to speed up because you were too shy to say so. he’s a very perceptive person though, immediately noticing your need. if he were any crueler, he would tease you for it and make you beg for it. he could only imagine how beautiful you would look and sound, bashful and desperate for more, but he needed to get off too, and as nice as it was to leisurely fuck you as he currently was, he wasn’t getting anywhere like this.
as he thrust into you and your welcoming cunt, he couldn’t help but think about how horrible he truly was. he was here to keep an eye on the previous winner and prevent him from trying to ruin the games, but here he was obsessing over a young lady who shouldn’t even be here. he’s disgusting, he knows it, and yet he doesn’t stop the constant motion or the thoughts running through his mind.
he wants to keep you here with him, locked away for his eyes only, away from everyone else. wouldn’t it be so nice to have you in his lap, watching the games and sharing a glass of liquor with you while you’re all dolled up? he doesn’t want to think of it like he’s keeping you as a pet, but he would like to marry you and have you as his trophy wife to accompany him during those annoying dinners with the vips. you wouldn’t have to work a day of your life if you were his, all you would have to do is look pretty and share his affections. and maybe a family someday too?
fuck, he was getting close just thinking about it. he should be allowed this much after giving his life to the games and abandoning everything he knew.
“sir, i’m close,” you whined, your nails digging into the fabric of his sleeves.
“i am too… could i… could i do it inside?”
it’s not like him to ask, but if he wanted to build a life with you (or at some semblance of one), he owed you this much.
you nodded, not thinking of what he was asking or what it could entail in the future. all you could think of was your oncoming climax, unraveling the tightened knot in your stomach and bursting at the seams.young-il followed shortly after with your velvety walls spasming around him, painting your insides white and filling you up to the brim to the point of some of it leaking out when he pulled himself from you. he couldn’t help but to collect some of the spillage with his finger and push it back into you, as if he didn’t want any of it to go waste.
“you won’t have to participate in the games anymore, i’m going to get you out of here.”

requested by bunii:
please please please could you do a smut with the front man of squid games s2 when he is pretending to be a player. Maybe you are scared, or crying because you wanna go home and he’s “comforting you” and brings you to the bathroom to wipe your tears, but then he kisses you… and so on.
requested by anonymous:
Heyy! I have been interested in your account and your squid game content recently!:) And I was wondering if you’d do my request?. Headcanons with yandere s2 Hwang in-ho/frontman with a fem reader who doesn’t know who he actually is?. Like she likes him but she doesn’t know he is the frontman or his “real identity”. Thank you!
#📜. her works#hwang in ho#hwang in ho x reader#squid game#squid game x reader#squid game smut#hwang in ho smut
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