#former merle/hecuba

[flashwitch]

Family Hurts.

Here on AO3. 

Hecuba thought she knew the man she married. She was wrong. 

Introducing the crew to Hecuba and the kids was… well, it wasn’t a situation he ever thought he would be in.

His marriage had been arranged by his family. His family had met his wife before he had.

Having his real family show up and having his memories flood back, that was hard.

Because he loved Hecuba, or he’d thought he had at the time, and he loved his kids. Oh Pan did he love them. But he loved the crew too.

Lucretia, Davenport, they had been like a sister and brother to him. They understood him. And the twins, well they’d both called him dad more than once. Most of the time it was sarcastic as hell, but. Yeah. In fact, he tended to think of them, Magnus and Barry all as his kids.

He never thought he’d have kids of his own.

And yeah, maybe Mavis was his stepdaughter, rather than his blood, but he loved her. He loved Mookie, his son. He loved them both, more than he ever thought possible.

And Hecuba? She had meant something to him once. And he still cared about her. He did. But she’d never really known him. The real him. The person he’d been when they were together, the person who she had married, he was not that person. That person was lost, forgetful, broken.

He  had to sit down and tell  the rest of the crew; Davenport, Barry, Lup. Lucretia already knew of course. It was strange telling them something about himself that they didn’t know. After a hundred years together, you know each other’s stories off by heart.

When he told them about his family, his wife, his kids, the people who he left behind, they were shocked. They tried to hide it, but he saw it anyway.

The Merle they knew was committed. He followed through. He stayed on Fungston and died with his congregation. He went back to John over and over again.

The Merle they knew never gave up, especially when he cared about something.

Three days after the Hunger, just enough time for the roads to be cleared, Hecuba brought the children to the Moon.

While the twins set to making a feast fit for a queen (Barry and Kravitz both working enthusiastically as scullions), Merle sent the kids off with Angus and set Hecuba down for a talk. He took her to a balcony, gazing down from the moon to the world below. It was quiet and no one else would bother them there.

She was beautiful, looking almost exactly as he remembered. Her hair and beard long and luscious, and her eyes twinkled brightly as she smiled. As they sat next to each other, both silent, she twisted her hands in the fabric of her dress.

“It’s good to see you,” Merle said finally. “How have you been?”

“I’ve… I’ve been fine. How about you?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ve been good. Adventuring, you know.”

“I know,” they were both quiet for a long moment. “It’s hard for me to believe, Merle. All of this.” She gestured helplessly. “You… you��re a hero.”

“Yeah. It’s hard for me too. I. this me. I never would have left you. I want you to know that.”

“This you, the real you. You never would have married me. You’re a good man, Merle.”

“I don’t know about that.” He laughed, just a little. “You’re a good woman. You’ve done so well by our kids, Hecky.”

“They’re sweethearts, aren’t they?”

“The best thing we ever did.”

They leaned into each other a little, shoulders pressed together.

“I hated you,” she told him, her voice low. And that hurt, of course it did. “You left. You didn’t even leave a note, Merle. I woke up and you were gone. I had to explain that to the kids. Mavis cried for hours. Mookie didn’t understand. He kept sitting at the window, waiting for you to come back.”

“I sent a letter!” he protested, not even sure why he was trying.

“A month later, Merle. It’s not enough.”

“I know. I am sorry, Hecuba. I know that’s not enough either, but,” she cut him off with a single look.

“But,” she said “we weren’t right together. We argued all the time. I never felt like you were really all there.” She smiled wryly. “I guess I understand why now. It doesn’t excuse what you did. And I don’t know if I can ever forgive you for that.” She took a deep shuddering breath and let it out slowly. “But maybe we can move past it. I’m not saying we can get back together, because I don’t think that would do either of us any good, and it definitely wouldn’t be right for the kids. But… well, I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t hate you.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

They sat there a while longer, just enjoying each other’s company in a way they hadn’t in years.

“It’s terrible,” Merle said eventually, his voice quiet in the hush they’d surrounded themselves with. “Not knowing who you are. Not knowing your own mind. I knew there was something missing, I knew something was wrong. But I couldn’t figure out what. All of us, we all knew something wasn’t right.” Hecuba didn’t respond. She just sat and listened. “When I met the boys, that’s Magnus and Taako, when I ended up with them and we rattled along together, it was the first time I could remember feeling completely right.”

“I’m glad. I’m glad you found somewhere you belong.”

Merle didn’t need a Zone of Truth to hear the honesty in her voice.                                

There was a bang and the door out to the balcony they were sitting on burst open, slamming against the wall.  Mookie came running in and careened into Merle, who scooped him up.

“Taako says you gotta come. He says there’s food and I wanna eat!”

Mavis came running in after her brother, a little out of breath.

“Mookie! Don’t run off!” She looked between her parents and her little brother, a bit shy, a bit unsure. Merle smiled at her.

“Hey sweetheart.”

“Hey. Taako and Lup, um they say dinner’s ready.”

“OK baby,” Hecuba said, standing up and brushing down her skirt. “We’re coming.”

The parents followed their children through the Moonbase towards the dining room where the rest of Merle’s family were waiting.