#formatting on this site is such a bitch

[victim9d]

long awaited graphics update has arrived

[lakesbian]

holy shit fighting for my LIFE to try to get screenshots of mspaint to size right 4 a tumblr post. yes i want to post my amy doodle no i do not want the image of her 2 be five miles long!!

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

you really need to raise your standards for what's considered "a phrase" because if it only makes sense in the specific context of the post it was originally found in and it isn't repeatable in other situations, that's not a phrase that has entered the lexicon, that's just something someone said one time.

i started this thing last week i need all the posts i can handle

What doesn't alter your vocabulary may alter, or may have already altered, someone else's. This is not about adding to The General Lexicon - I have an entire tag for things that change this site as a whole, which has a higher bar; this is largely about novelty and humor. This is us curb-stomping whatever the fuck we want into the right form for our needs, whatever those needs may be, including altering aspects of the phrase to fit the necessary format or context. It's a linguistic shotgun.

its my fuckin blog bitch ill shit where i want

[whatbigotspost]

I’m gonna start coining tumblr specific cognitive biases and logical fallacy terms…here’s the first ones I’ve theorized so far. (I’m using “actor” here meaning “the person, acting out the fallacy or bias for us all to see.”)

1. The unique contribution fallacy—reading a post of over 10k notes and the actor thinks of something they surmise is very clever to add. The actor imagines themselves to be the first special unique soul to contribute this add, when OP has actually received this “clever” comment 5000 times of those 10,000 notes driving OP up the wall.

2. The whataboutism bias— reading a post on any given particular topic, and believing that OP should say every single thing that you could possibly say about that topic under said single post. The actor doesn’t know they have a personal agenda on the topic and expects OP would have that same bias to talk about the side of the given topic that correlates to the actor’s personal bias, instead of allowing OP to be somebody who just writes what they wanted to write. This often works in tandem with… 

3. The TLDR bias— seeing a post that is actually extremely long and thoroughly well written, often times with sources, numerous added threads of detail etc. but the actor doesn’t actually read the content of the FULL post. Then, in reblogging it or commenting on it, “adding” something that OP definitely originally said, and revealing oneself as somebody who doesn’t even read the detailed things that they re-blog or add on comments about.

3. The literal URL fallacy— not understanding the total chaos that is the Tumblr URL, in this fallacy the actor thinks that someone’s username is ALWAYS telling you exactly what the content of their blog might be. I’ll illustrate this one in like a totally random example way… Let’s say that you hypothetically made a blog that was all about calling out bigots back in the days of yore, the early twenty teens. And yet somehow, despite the fact that every other user around you seems to not be taken literally by their URLs, the actor decides that everything that you post is therefore bigotry…….even if what you’re posting is your own original content that you’re writing, calling out bigots. Too bad, so sad! Because in this fallacy, the actor is going to see you as what your URL says, literally, always.

4. The missed URL fallacy— this of course is the exact opposite of number three. It is where a blog has a very particular theme and format to it, that is the most important thing you can notice to understand the context of a post. So, again, just a random example here… But let’s just say that the intent of a blog is to always post submitted weird ass dreams people had, but the actor doesn’t realize this in their relogging and thinks that somebody is reporting a real life situation that was definitely, very specifically a wild fever dream.

5. The throw the baby out with the bathwater bias— a fan favorite among left leaning and social justice corners of the site, this bias is when the actor reads a post where somebody doesn’t use the most optimal, virtue signaling language for them personally, so the actor ignores the whole entire point of the post. It could be something as serious as and attention demanding as genocide, but somebody uses a word like “crazy” or “stupid” or “bitch” in it and so the actor’s worldview and general proclaimed values are casually tossed aside because the language that was used to deliver it was not “perfect.”

6. The choose your own reality bias—The actor reads a post and reblogs it, adding commentary that is responding to things that are definitely not said in the original post and definitely not anything in the realm of what OP was talking about. Close cousin to…

7. The this is definitely about me/self-own fallacy— this one is actually one of my favorites to spot out in the wild because it is SUCH a tell. It is like a slightly more specific version of the “choose your own reality bias” but this is when the actor reads a post and blogs it, adding commentary that is responding to things that are definitely not said in the original post as if OP is talking about them personally, and therefore revealing themselves as potentially shady or suspect in someway because why did they make it about them, if it’s not about them, you know?

8. The zombie post fallacy—in this one, the actor most likely does not have time stamps enabled on their dash because that isn’t something that happens here by default, and this site has a higher presence of zombie posts (by the way its designed and how it functions) than any other social media site I know. So when a zombie post from 2011 shambles across their dash in 2024, they react to that content as if it is completely new and relevant information or news or a situation to be dealt with in the modern era.

What needs added?

[thepaintedsable]

PYRO! It’s Pyro! Yippee e!

I accidentally inverted the colors all of the insignias and gave Blue Pyro Red Pyro’s flamethrower :( My professional explanation for the second part is that Blue Pyro beat the living shit out of Red Pyro and stole their weapon, my professional explanation for the first part is I am is have are stupid.

Close-ups and special sketch page below the cut!!!

I remembered TF2 existed and this happened.

I have to mention that I have never touched this game, but I’ve been fairly aware of it for a really long time. I strayed away from it all because I was not/am not the best at multiplayer games, especially shooters (especially team shooters), and I never exactly felt like I had the skill to draw any of the characters. Plus the comic’s whole “missing the last issue” situation. I just really, really, didn’t want to be let down by investing myself in something I couldn’t be invested in. But something about “Meet the Pyro” stuck in my head like a burr to a shoe.

Rewatched Meet the Pyro more times than I should have. Looked into more animations and the fandom. Finally broke down and read the comic LMFAO. Surprisingly, I really enjoyed it! Even with the missing part, the format it’s presented in and the general wackiness was refreshing compared to what I normally read.

I still like Pyro, and when I remembered I’m better at drawing now, augh. There he go. They are all over, as they should be.

MF has a homemade flamethrower, canonically killed great value brand Smokey the Bear (on purpose), is/was the highly successful CEO of an engineering company, and is so efficient on the battlefield his teammates are horrified by him and his methods. Also there is no telling wether they even know what they are doing or where they actually are because of the pyro vision stuff. Plus the fun mystery of who they are under the mask. :) We don’t even know nothin about this guy.

Just a silly little guy. I’d like to take both the “They know nothing about what they are doing” and the “They know everything about what they are doing” and staple them to Blue and Red respectively. Which is which, though? Not important. Only need enough info to pit two bad bitches against each other, and also to consider how their teams treat them in response. They are both fucked up, but in opposite directions.

ALSO WHY DID I HAVE TO FIND OUT THIS FANDOM HAS THE CUTEST SHIP NAMES EVER ON MY OWN????? I don’t even really like ships in general, but like… Texas Toast? Speeding Bullet? Brush Fire??? Can someone please please confirm that French Toast is another one oh my god???? I don’t even care about the ships, I care about wordplay and cleverness. If you look up Texas Toast on this site it is all Engineer x Pyro and that is SO FUNNY

I can’t promise that this will be the last Pyro page. He might be the one that’ll actually stay.

[mod-kyoko]

Oooh~ I got one for either Mod, how about a one shot with Ibuki with her Tsundere boyfriend from the earlier ask. Where her friends mahiri, Mikan and Hiyoko wonder why she's with her boyfriend seeing how he acts all the time and she just responds that she thinks he's adorable. Then later on while he and Ibuki are in private he starts getting all affectionate verbally and physically saying that he loves her. U know to both of them Ibuki's friends caught a glimpse of his affection side.

ibuki x tsundere bf

fandom: danganronpa

info: male!reader, one-shot format, fluff

a/n: thank you puppteer, you keep this blog afloat

♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

"You know, I really don't get why you're dating that guy."

A shrill voice followed Ibuki as she made her way past the fountain outside of Hope's Peak. Hiyoko and Mikan always walked Ibuki to school since the three of them lived close by. Mikan trailed just behind Hiyoko, in the background as usual, while Mahiru trotted next to Hiyoko.

"Y- you're right... He- he doesn't seem... boyfriend material..." Mikan added, voice trembling as always. She played with her fingers while she spoke.

"No one asked your opinion, pigshit," Hiyoko retorted, rolling her eyes. Mikan whimpered in response to the insult, pursing her lips.

As they reached the entrance of the academy, Ibuki whirled around to face the three.

"You've got it all wrong, Mikan. All I need is someone who likes fun, and someone who likes music. My boyfriend likes both, so I'm all set!" Ibuki grinned from ear to ear as she thought about her lover, excited for their date later that day.

"I have to agree with Mikan and Hiyoko, I just haven't seen him act anything at all like a boyfriend to you," Mahiru chimed in, awkwardly playing with her hair. Hiyoko nodded, throwing an arm around her best friend. All Ibuki did was smile back at them, shaking her head.

"All you need to know is that he treats me well. And he's real cute!" With a wink, Ibuki turned around and bounded into the school, heading for their homeroom. The three girls exchanged looks with each other, before following her inside.

"Doesn't she have a date with him today? At the cafe?" Mahiru wondered aloud. Hiyoko puckered her lips, thinking, then let out a gasp like she had an idea.

"I know! Let's go spy on them! We'll get to see what they are like with each other!"

Mikan frowned. "Um, I- I don't think Ibuki would like that..." She was quickly met with a pair of angry eyes.

"I said no one asked for your opinion, ugly bitch! Didn't you hear me?" Hiyoko rolled her eyes, before turning back to Mahiru. "Are you in?"

"Sure. Sounds like fun." Mahiru responded with a shrug. Locking eyes with Mikan, she added, "It'll be okay, Mikan. It's a public place, if she sees us we'll just pretend we already had plans." Mikan would be lying if she said she wasn't curious, but the pat on the shoulder Mahiru was giving her wasn't helping the guilt.

The day went by slowly. Ibuki's boyfriend attended Hope's Peak, but was in a different class, so the girls had to wait to see the two interact until after school. Once the final bell had rung, the three followed Ibuki from a distance as she went to retrieve you from your class.

Peeking around the corner, Mahiru, Mikan, and Hiyoko watched Ibuki greet you.

"Hey, babe! Let's get going, I'm sooo hungry!" Ibuki rubbed her stomach dramatically, before grabbing your hand and dragging you away.

Meanwhile...

"Okay, they're holding hands," Hiyoko narrated as the spies walked from Hope's Peak to the cafe date site.

"Seems like a normal couple activity," Mahiru added, staring through a pair of binoculars. "Oh! Now he's got an arm around her. Aww."

Hiyoko snatched the binoculars away, watching for herself. "Hm. I'm still not convinced. We'll have to wait until they get inside."

You and Ibuki finally reached the cafe. You walked slightly in front of her, reaching for the door and holding it open, allowing her to go inside first. Ibuki immediately bounded over to the jukebox, as she always does when she first enters this cafe. It's her favorite because it had great music selections.

The three girls reached the cafe soon after, staking out beneath the giant windows. They watched as you walked alone to the front counter, where an employee greeted you. You ordered two drinks, your favorite and your girlfriend's favorite. Once you had paid, Ibuki already found a nice table in the corner. You decided to wait until the drinks were made, so you could bring them over to her.

Ibuki sat with her head in her hands, propped up on her elbows, and kicking her feet under the table. Her wide eyes met yours, absolutely sick with love. When you set down her preferred drink, a milkshake, she took the straw between her fingers and twirled it around.

"You're so sweet for remembering my favorite drink, babe" she reached out for your hand, lifting it up to her cheek and nuzzling it.

Throughout your date, the two of you talked and talked about your day, your next date, each other. You reached across the table and took your girlfriend's face in your hands, and she melted into your touch.

Meanwhile, three girls started screeching outside.

"I love you so much, darling," you cooed, eyes softening as Ibuki leaned into your hands. "You make my day so much better."

She giggled, placing her hands over yours to hold them in place. Soon, she felt a buzz in her pocket.

'I take back everything I said. You guys are cute together' the text read. Your girlfriend smiled at Hiyoko's message, before slipping her phone back in her pocket. She knew the three were going to spy on her. She was just glad she wouldn't have to deal with their conspiring anymore.

"I love you too."

♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

i haven't written a one-shot in a while, this was really really fun.

-mod kyoko

[pianocat939]

Unjust Punishment: Prologue

I love 2nd person, and no one can do anything about it-

Summary: Art block is a bitch, and your dumb self went out to the woods to paint a few landscapes. But of course, some crazy things happen *ahem* feral horse *ahem*, and you end up nowhere near where you were.

Tw: implied attempted murder, attempted beheading, MC gets so tired they're a bit delirious

Word Count: 1.1 K

Taglist: @dewdropthesimp @msvanillabean (Inbox or comment if you want to be added-)

This mountain fucking sucks. You aren't at all an active person, but this is just pure torture; scaling up the path while your ankles are halfway dead. At least you could see the top now, maybe another 15 more minutes of pain.

Finally, after reaching the top, there's a feeling of relaxation. No more coughing and wheezing like someone with Tuberculosis. You turn to admire the view before you: every tree top, every bird, and every bush. It simply maybe was worth your struggle. The sight is wonderful and gives great inspiration to your clouded mind.

Being an avid landscape painter, you had a fair share of going on different trips to paint the view. But this time around, a block had been in your way, and you haven't been able to wave the brush like you usually could. So what better than to spend a few days on the mountain, and paint whatever you see? It's a truly great method to pull you out of the entangles of no creativity.

You settle your luggage somewhere, only taking your easel and canvas. After setting up the items, you dig around for your paints, finding them shoved into the bottom bag. Vermilion, Prussian Blue, that ugly bastard yellow that no one likes but is also crucial for shadows...You have them all.

You take out a pencil and do a rough sketch of the landforms of the scenery before taking a light blue and painting over the entire canvas as the initial background. Soon, you start filling in each leaf and blade of grass, making dots and sharp strokes. Your mind turns blank, as concentration fills your head in a heavy, but empty void.

——————————————————

Once the sun sets, you set up your sleeping site in a rush. You were so concentrated on your painting you forgot you're in the fucking woods with a bunch of feral creatures lurking around. Fortunately, you actually practiced once or twice getting everything ready and managed to finish in record time.

By the time it's nightfall, you're still not quite ready to sleep, so you laze around on your phone, scrolling through your latest interests. You oddly felt calm, despite being in an unfamiliar place, alone. The isolation didn't feel foreign, if anything, it was nice compared to your hectic life.

That is until you hear a neigh. You know your animal sounds. That was a horse. Confused more than ever, you glanced out the makeshift, plastic window. There was in fact a horse. You could only see its hooves, but you could tell it was a gigantic horse. Its black legs and honed clipper-clapper hooves are a bit intimidating.

Then, the horse started to dash, at full speed.

In sudden panic, you took your phone and ran, out the exit. You didn't want to be squashed by a feral horse! After reaching the outside, you head for the nearby path, carefully skidding on the downhill parts. The horse was still running after you, and it freaked you out. Equinophobia was so real. As soon as the path was flat, you turned your direction into a zig-zag formation, trying to confuse the horse.

When you passed a tall pine tree, an object came flying at you, barely missing your head. You felt your heart stop, and your mind go blank for a split second. It was an axe. A fucking axe. First the feral horse, and now flying axes? Your night just went from peaceful to an absolute murder chase. You were basically running on adrenaline and nothing else as you dashed.

The moon illuminated the surface, bright and shining in a silvery colour. If it weren't for the fact you're trying not to collapse and freak out, you would have found the moon another lovely view to paint. Now that your frazzled mind leads back to awareness, exhaustion is really kicking in. You can't even hear the clapping of the horse's hooves anymore. In a desperate attempt at security, you leave the route, sitting on the nearby grass within the shadow of the trees.

You're already witnessing some stereotypical horror story not even five hours in. At least you didn't have to call the emergency number. Maybe in an hour, you can wander back to your settlement and go back home. You missed your bed; your wonderful bed.

"Hey...Are you ok?" A distant voice called, bringing you out of your thoughts.

You blinked and glanced behind your shoulder, deciding whether the voice was a threat, or not. It didn't sound hostile in fact, it felt familiar. Like someone you knew. You stood up, the slight ache in your knees more prominent than ever.

"Are you lost? Hurt?"

You slowly climbed the hill, eyes wide in curiosity as you approached to the source of the voice. You weren't lost or hurt, but something strange and eerie about the calling made you want to see the person behind it. You heaved yourself up the hill, using your abilities to your best. You aren't an athlete, nor an athletic person. You're a painter for fucks sake.

After a few moments, you call out, responding to the message, "Hello? Is someone up here?" You don't know exactly what you were doing, but you hoped for the best. The scare you had earlier made your heart crave comfort. This stranger probably just had a similar voice to someone you knew, but in a way, your body automatically wanted to go towards it. You notice a figure through the thin silhouettes of the trees. Your pace picked up a bit as you waddled through the grass.

The person turned their head, making a lovely smile. They were in a perfect pose, sitting on a spacious boulder underneath the moonlight. The sight was almost like a perfect shot from a movie. Your eyes picked up the shade of Rouge painted across their lips. The deep red highlighted their features nicely.

But in a flash, the person disappeared. Before you could even utter a word, your body tumbles back down the hill; bumping into every rock and twig in sight. It was painful at every impact. Your spine and head pounding terribly. What had happened? You couldn't muster any thoughts. All you could remember was the image of the lipstick.

You landed on the flat ground not long after. You're too exhausted, too out of it to bother sitting up. You just mindlessly stare at the sky, a few twinkling stars laughing upon your pitiful state. Wow, the phrase "Karma is a bitch" has never been more apparent than ever in your life. You should have listened to your close ones about not going out to the wilderness alone. Well, what could you do? You hoped no serial killer would hunt you down. You're tired. You need sleep. Getting murdered can happen another day for you.

You close your eyes...

——————————————————

WOWWW I ACTUALLY GOT SOMETHING DONE FOR ONCE-

Literally this is probably more confusing and disorganized than it is logical, but hey- my little brain tried lmao

Originally, I was gonna make this a much longer part, (as in including Mikey's introduction) but because of how busy my weekend turned out I had to cut it short.

Fun fact: all the weird shit that goes on in this part is a foreshadowing of the upcoming weirdos haha- I'm so smart /sarc

Well- that's all I got for now. Goodbye world as I turn dead for a whole week and come back to life later-

- Celina

[simpjaes]

haiiii simpjaes!! this is my first time sending an ask but how are u ml? i've been rereading ur fics a lot recently and the things one of the damned girls does to me ..... ><

also i've been wanting to start my own writing blog for such a long time now (as i was mostly a reader) but i genuinely dk how all the tumblr layouts work and all that 😕 also seeing that most ppl on this site prefer to read fluffier smut (which i enjoy too!! but .... yeah) idk if they would like my writing :(

hope u have a good day forwards, sorry for this long ask hh

omg helloooo!!!! OOTDG is that bitch fr, so proud of that one and im glad you like it ; u ;

anyway!!! i definitely encourage you to start your own writing blog but also, please be nice to yourself and know that it's a learning process! You don't have to post anything until after you practice and learn how layouts work as well as fic formatting! It's not hard once you get the hang of it, and im always here to help too. Also, rule number one to writing, in my opinion anyway, is don't start writing with the idea that other people will take the time to read it. never expect that, because if and when you do, it will stop being fun. write for yourself. write what you want. your audience will find you. not everyone will like your writing, i deal with that a lot too, but also know that the people who do like it are here too. so, like, writing is fun but it can be scary sharing with a whole platform. I still get insecure every single time i post a new fic, so it's not just you who feels that way. but it ends up being worth it. your audience really will find you, so don't limit yourself to what you think people want to read. write what you want to read first and foremost, because no one else is gonna write it for ya!

[gothamitelove]

I had a request for gotham Victor Zsasz if you’re up for writing it :) (it can be written in any format I don’t mind)

Victor x gn!mute! Reader where R is a good friend of Oswalds, and Vic is protective and has a soft spot for them. Maybe they get hurt or something so Victor takes it upon himself to teach whoever did it a lesson.

so i had a whole thing written for this and then the site crashed so here's the recreation of it!

he's taken with you almost immediately.

well, first he's intrigued- who are you and how have you managed to get on cobblepot's good side? so he's eager to meet you, even if he doesn't show it

and then he meets you and thinks, well, i think i know why penguin likes them so much. you're quiet. in fact, he's never heard you speak a word. it leaves oswald all the time he needs to get all his thoughts out, and then work through them. (this is not the entire reason oswald likes you, but look it doesn't hurt)

victor does his utmost to get closer to you. he tells you jokes, compliments you, and his entire goth bitch squad (meant positively ofc) basically adopts you on the spot

you guys get milkshakes a lot.

but then one day somebody decides that to get at oswald, they're gonna mess with you, and that's when victor gets pissed.

not even gonna lie to you pal this person probably ends up dead. if not by oswald's hand then absolutely by victor's.

he will probably show you the tally mark he made for them

"don't worry, i took care of it," he'll say, and give you a kiss on the forehead.

you will never hear from or about this person again, but after this incident, everyone treats you with a lot more respect.

[necros-writing-stuff]

I'm still a big fan of killer dare- I wanna know what happens when he's 'working' what's his process?? Is he clean or like bloody the whole time? Is he careful methodical? Or is every kill random?

(I was gonna ask for head cannon format but Dare is littraly yours)

I love your stuff as always!!!

~🩷

Ooooo okay time to get graphic. I'll put it under the cut, look at your own risk (and also behold the evidence of me consuming too much true crime from a very young age).

How he kills:

Darius is a big big fan of strangulation. With his hands or with a rope/wire/length of something depends on the one he's taking out.

Reason being the lack of blood to clean up. He's a strong man, he can take most people out this way. It's also very personal. He can whisper insults in their ear while they're dying.

However, when it looks like there will be a struggle he might not win with his fists alone, Dare likes a good ole hammer to the skull.

Very very conscious about evidence. When he kills and while he stalks. Super vigilant about cameras, always leaves his phone at home when doing his little hobby. Never picks someone he knows personally or even tangentially. Has to be a total stranger. Always comes with gloves and something to keep his hair tucked away in, and something obscuring his face.

No aftershave while he kills, no branded shoes or clothes. Just as blank and inconspicuous as possible. Tends to kill at night, but not always if a better opportunity presents itself.

Victims:

Still undecided here. It depends on the story.

Victim type 1: police. From his sense of jealousy and jadedness that he lost his job because he stood up for a victim by pummelling his boss. Like the pig joke so he'll cut off their noses and make them more snout-like. Male officers get their junk cut off too.

Victim type 2: pale women with long red hair. Because Molly left and took the cat and he's a bitch about it even though it was his fault. He does not do anything sexual here, it's just rage. Post-mortem he'll often brutalise their faces.

Victim type 3: someone got too close to you and Dare can't have that. He's nearly got you in his clutches and this ass thinks they can swoop in and take you right from under him. Nuh-uh. Type 3 can happen at the same time as the other two. He's quickest with these, but also sloppiest, because they're the most emotional ones for him.

He chooses victims based on a variety of things very similar to how he chooses a spouse tbh.

Are they lonely? How long will it take for people to notice they're gone? Will anyone notice? Where do they they? Who do they live with? Do they go out alone?

He stalks them appropriately each time to find the best window.

Different from choosing a spouse though, victims will have a quality that pisses him off enough to get his attention. It won't just be that they're a red head or an officer. It's a bitchy red head screaming at a tired service worker, it's an officer stopping a drunk person for a stop and search just to cop a feel.

Dare feels justified in what he's doing. One less asshole on the earth to bother everyone else.

Disposal process:

Takes the body to his work site. Chucks them down a hole that's going to be filled with cement, secure in the knowledge they be buried under a fucking skyscraper soon enough.

No construction of that kind going on? Freezes the body (liquid nitrogen), and uses a saw in the warehouse to cut up the body into itty bitty pieces. A lot less blood due to the frozen state. Then he'll take it with him and burn it on his next hunt, ensuring to smash up the teeth and jaw and scatter them far from each other.

For the type 3 though... he's liable to strangle them and then just leave them in the spot he killed them. He wants you to know he's killing people for you. He wants you to see that he sees you. They're his love notes.

Where you come in:

He won't take you to kill with him, but he'll take you hunting and show you the cut up body before he burns it. He'll make sure you don't look away. And when you recognise who it is, he'll gloat about how he can do this for you - just kill someone you hated and probably wanted dead anyway. So thank him. He'll have a blowie now please and thank you.

If he thinks it's the only way to make you stay as his, he'll somehow have you kill someone and hold it over your head. Probably by kidnapping someone and saying he's bored of you and thinks this person might be a good replacement - unless you can prove yourself interesting again by killing them before they can kill you.

You're his lovely little house spouse (again though, this is Dare, he'll call you wife no matter your gender identity), who's gonna wear skirts and make his food, massage his back, bounce on his cock and kiss his palms despite knowing they'd been squeezing the life out of someone a couple of hours prior.

But if Dare ever does actually get caught? He won't pin anything on you. Not even if he made you kill someone. He can't do it. He can spend the rest of his life in jail, you can't. Especially if you had a kid together.

[the-acid-pear]

I'm getting so anxious my legs are going cold so I've decided I'm gonna start reading Dungeon Meshi. Gonna do the classic manga liveblog format too 👍

Chapter 0

It's been so long since I did something like this man goddamn.

Oh this manga is really fucking short! Only 97 chapters goddamn. Might get to finish the whole liveblog in like, 2 rbs.

This is so silly n cute tbh

Catgirl looks HORRIFIED

Wait is, is the dwarf naked? Is he in his fucking underwear??

Thought they were praying for the food for a second

WHY ARE WE JUST RANDOMLY SHOWING A BRUTAL DEATH FROM A DRAGON THIS. THE WHIPLASH

Oh she's alive nvm

Chapter 1

Goofy ahh dragon

Love that it's formatted as a menu that's cute

Well that was a haunting introduction

Capitalism is one hell of a bitch <- pretty sure this has nothing to do with that

I love this short critter's beautiful black eyes

Why is she breakdancing to express discontent?

Man these chapters are long, like 45 pages each. That makes it almost 200 chapters since 20 pages is more of the average length.

THE BLUSH. HUNGRY BASTARD UTSYFSYSEYSRRUD

"who are you?" He was licherally there when the girl was vored what do you Mean who are you . . .

Un capo se trajo un disco.

Holy shit you can die?

Marcille you're such a girl fail it's honestly hot

Oh Chilchuck is a name i though it was an insult

Sabés el asado que te puede hacer el Senshi, te caes de culo

Chapter 2

The settings are beautiful

👍

The way death is handled feels so Weird

Laios I did not wish to learn about your bondage kink

Chilchuck is so real I love him 😭

Chilchuck why were you at the gallows...........

Chapter 3

Already got in the groove of it

He looks so distraught at the unbalanced diet

"reptilian features" "cool" "cool"

I love Laios and Senshi's relationship they're such a good team

Senshi is sooo silly

These are such good ppl tbh

THANK YOU FOR YOUR MOTIVATIONAL APEECH SENSHI

I'm using the same site I did to read Baki and bro there's a clown in the notes who keeps adding the image of Marcille being told elves are good cock sleeves and it's starting to seriously annoy me.

Stopping for now so I can eat and stuff 👍

[lonibergqvist]

Hello again, Loni.

Well, we're here again.

Back to tumblr. Back to writing.

A lot has changed since I used this site frequently about a decade ago: I use capital letters now, I'm still married, I have three kids, a company, both my parents have died and I live in Denmark.

Instead of rehashing the last ten years, I'd rather explain why I'm back.

Last March, I stopped drinking alcohol.

I'll probably write more about that in the future but for now the only relevance is that becoming sober has given way to a lot of "ah-ha" moments... one of them being that I really don't want to be on social media anymore.

When I think about how I've leveraged Instagram and Facebook these past years, it's been a space to reflect and share moments of life that I find interesting or note-worthy. I like to leverage SoMe to reflect on these moments.

But I don't really like being tied to it.

Or feeling like I live moments through the intent to post about them.

And I'm tired of automatically checking SoMe... for what?

I still love reflecting. And sharing. And writing.

So, here I am. A tumblr bitch once again. I think writing a blog again might satisfy my urge reflect, share and write.

I'll probably be changing some of the formatting, the tag-line. "Navigating the 30's" doesn't apply to me in two weeks, so there's some necessary updating that clearly cannot be postponed for long.

Does anyone even use tumblr anymore? Well, I guess if you're reading this, you do.

And apparently now I do, too.

Photo: Me. An-almost-40-something-with-no-parents-three-kids-working-sober-married-american-in-denmark.

[jarateblog]

don't know how many people will catch this (or care) but i'm currently in the works of setting up an rss feed for my website.

even though i basically use tumblr for casual posts right now, i might force myself to get a bit more artsy with blog posts on my website where i'm not as limited by formats (i may even pay for neocities so i can posts video files and whatnot).

in thinking about the posts i could add to the feed, i was thinking about starting a monthly thread of the art/media that i've been enjoying, and maybe some bits of stuff i'm working on from my end. that would likely be the #1 thing i'd focus on posting.

i've also thought about writing some reference pages for things i know a bit more than the average person in - from music/band/artist info, video games, and maybe even some recipes (because god knows how much a bitch it is to deal with mobile layouts for those). i've started and abandoned pages on my site over and over for those kinds of things but i think it's just because the formats are too hard for myself to keep track of. more concise posts that are still informative will keep my brain in check.

i'll probably be overhauling the site again as a result. so, some pages may be purged again. the site's pretty empty as it is, so no big deal i don't think

[thetentaclecommander]

This is an 18+ blog. Pretty much anything under the Ao3 archive warnings section, and then some can and will likely be represented here, so no histrionics, plz. I don't have a DNI or 'required reading' but do have 'things' listed at post bottom in case they are like deal breakers or whatever so you cannot say you weren't given advance warning as to my content. *I will not waste my time reading DNIs or Carrds. The block button is a great (sex) toy and you are free to use it at will. I sure as hell do.* +++ FAQ Who is this? Hi, I’m TTC

I write Nemesis and Jill boning a lot. For the plot, supposedly. Been doing so forever ago. What are you? An immortal sentient tentacle who moonlights as a jaded fandom old. I can and will out-drink you. What other names have you've gone by? I've lovingly been called That Tentacle and Server Satan. I'm a walking kink-filled perv factory full of bad ideas, hence the names. + What fics do you write? Fic list for the Devil's Saga AU. The Ships in the AU My AO3 + Tags for Blog Navigation Here. + (Con't under the cut for more general info and disclaimers)

Why is...this? Because I want to see more Nemesis/Jill content, and it’s a bitch to find. Also, after years of putting off even joining Tumblr, I wanna share my AU and keep this crack ship alive. Maybe even fanwank on my thoughts about Toll and Onery or even on Jill, the long-suffering bad bitch that Cap keeps forgetting has a compelling storyline right there. But this is mostly just blatant shilling of my AU + What’s your fandoms? Resident Evil. To be clear, I mainly stan RE3: Nemesis, not the remake one. The 1999 one. But in general, I like this goofy series, boulders, nonsense science, bad plot, and all. I do like other stuff that I might occasionally reblog. Could be silly shit like Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel or Arcane to heavy shit like BTD. I'm random like that. + Format of each post: A snippet, a link to Ao3. I’ll list any pertinent CWs if needed. My fics tend to be 18+ some of them marked with Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings and DD:DNE (ie unapologetically dark shit cause RE is a survival horror franchise), so keep that in mind. I might drop early snips; I haven’t decided on that yet. + Is Nemmy -ever- nice in your fics? Pffft (well, he’s 'nice' in bursts, as in a burst of tentacles through Brad’s face). In seriousness, in my take on him, he’s complicated, having the ability to be ""kind"", and ""caring"" but is a Tyrant through and through - basically closer to canon. I like canonical villains and I like my monsters monstrous and, at times, barely grasping that human/monster line. Expect infestations and murder. + What is your stance on RE3: Nemesis (1999) and RE3 (2020)? 1. remake Carlos got the glow up omg 2. Jill was sassy in both and I do love og but ngl remake!Jill was so done and I feels her 3. the monsterfucker vibes was mostly immaculate 4. og Nemesis was hotter and scarier. 3make massacred my boy (I don't judge those that like 3make, but maaan my boi T.T) like my biggest gripe along with the cut content was the game missing the point of Nemmy entirely reducing him to an annoying superman jumping nuisance and honestly lessening the N/J shippy vibes for me + Do you do fic requests? RPs? No. I simply don’t have the focus/time to do requests or things outside of my stories. I write what I want when I want. + Do you do DMs or Asks? I just flit in the night and talk when I feel like it. I prefer all convos in the broad daylight on public posts. But I’ll open my Asks. Be stupid, and I’ll simply close them. Capisce? Also if you DM me wastes of time things like 'Hi', 'hello' - the kinda shit ppl mock on dating sites especially with a pretty much blank profile, you'll be blocked. In fact, I block pretty freely as I value my time. + Don't Whine, You Know What I'm About [Disclaimers To Save People Time] This Tentacle posts here: -sex acts that ranges from soft to oh gods please don’t kill me -urk- -tentacle murder/parasitic 'fun'/horrible things occurring -high/low brow story drama (think Gothic Horror-esque) -crack ships mixed in with canon with zero regard about their 'purity' -monsterfucker shit, duh This Tentacle: -believes that fiction does not have the power of a death note over one's actions and believes people are not inherently stupid or unable to understand for themselves what they engage in -holds sex positive/pagan/kink and leather/poly/queer friendly/profic views -is against the -isms and/or -phobias used against others -laughs at killjoy puritans; your hell/churchy-speak means nothing to me a lifelong heathen eldritch egg laying being If you hate any of these you’ll -not- have a fun time with my content. Also, this shouldn't have to be said, but kiddos (under 18) Be not seen or heard as per ye old adult fandom rules. I reject all signal boosting requests/callouts; promotions will be at MY discretion. (More than likely, the answer will be 'no'.) We team SALS/DLDR/YKINMKBYKIOK in these parts. Be freely stupid with your ships; none of it’s real. Fandom is stupid, don’t take it so serious. Also, the murderkink. Gotta have the murderkink and worms. A'ight, Enjoy!

[beantothemax]

Oh hey would you look at that it’s an inbox fic

This one ended up running away from me a little bit, so it’s sort of a hybrid transcript format. Color coded for your convenience, of course.

And now for the mandatory pings: @lesbian-empress-nero @meme-boys-blog 

!!!!!!Major SMT IV Apocalypse Spoilers ahead!!!!!!!!

“Lord Dagda… You belong with us.”

“No. I’ll carve out my own path. And no one-no one- will stand in my way. Not you, not YHVH, not even that galla dorchadais.”*

“Oh? And who would that be? Another doll brought into your game of treachery? (Scoffs) I have no time to waste dealing with that.”

“...Dolls? What is the meaning of this!?”

———————————

“...a poison. We should strive to be true individuals, to think freely for ourselves.”

”My, my Dagda. You must be fond of your doll, speaking to and for him.”

”Quiet.”

“…How is that kettle, pot? Is it quite as black as you thought it was?”

“And here you are. I guess that makes it a party.”

“A party would imply one is having fun.”

“And you look like you’re having a blast. Cut the crap, what do you want.”

“You hold your vessel in your hands. You tell him that his compatriots are worthless, but we have seen much to the contrary.”

(Scoffs) “You’re as blind as Mother is. Those friendships he has? Crumbling. Turning to ash as they were destined to be.”

“And from the ash new life will rise. They will be forged anew, stronger than before.”

“Don’t give me that shit. You and I both know that this little group is going to splinter.”

“Perhaps they will. But shards can be made whole, glued together with gold and made into a finer piece than before.”

(Sighs) “Agree to disagree.”

(Laughs) “Capricious, are you not? You parade around telling your beliefs to anyone who would listen, but as soon as someone challenges you-”

(Seething) “…Shut. up.”

“Oh? Does the barking dog bite-“

[BOOM]

“…I won’t ask again.”

“Good.”

[Crashing, a muffled thud against a wall.]

“You won’t have to.”

“Listen to us well, High King.”

(Muffled indignation)

“We have seen your kind before. Building yourself a tower so tall with a matching Fool to manipulate. You remove his connections and have him chasing after a goal that will never be reached. All the while dangling salvation like a carrot on a string. Now where have we heard a story like that before?”

“Teammates!? Friends!? To hell with that! How can such a worthless piece of trash be more special than me!?”

(Gagged alarm)

“You teach him how to fight; You tell him it is needed for his duty. You tell him he shall be remembered, while he lays forgotten in chains.”

(Whispered) “You tell him his bonds are worthless, when it is all he has ever had.”

[Body hitting the floor, gasping.]

“We have danced with far more powerful beings than you, Dagda.”

“You-“

“We have seen the consequences of gods who are selfish in the face of selfish gods, High King. We know how this story ends. And we crave to see it to its conclusion.”

(Inscenced, shouting) “Don’t you dare lea-“

[Rocks falling, low rumble of room shaking.]

“-ve!”

“…Now how did you get yourself over there?”

[A pointed silence.]

(Mumbling)“Galla damn an dorchadais. Fuck i agus a tràill damn. Dè tha fios aice? Gun dad. Tha dè.”**

“Dagda, is there-“

[Dagda returns.]

[Flashbang.]

—————

Gaston is pink because there’s no yellow, and he is the next one to speak cause I needed to get canon back on track

Translation corner this guy got mad~

Full credit to Lance for having the idea of getting Dagda to insult Kuro in Gaelic. Because of course he would.

Used this site to translate, and key is below!

* bitch of darkness

** Damn bitch of darkness. Fuck her and her damn slave. What does she know? Nothing. That's what.”

GET POSITIVELY FFFFFFFFFFFFFUCKED DAGDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KURO KILL THAT OLD MAN‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

ALSO GORO AKECHI JUMPSCARE BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY EX-FAVORITE-DAD GETTING HIS SHIT KICKED IN. LETS FUCKING GO. SLICK AS HELL FIC AS ALWAYS VIN

[milfglupshitto]

what actually is malevolent? i see you talk about it a lot but i don’t actually know :o

ah okay! copying from a pitch I sent to someone else: it’s a lovecraft-inspired fictional horror audio drama set in 1930s massachusetts that begins with a man who wakes up with no memories, no vision, and a voice in his head. the show follows him and the voice (which can see out of his eyes) as they try and figure out what is happening and what to do next. I have also pitched it as “what if venom couldn’t do any of that cool shit but got shot/stabbed/mortally wounded just as often”. I really think the premise is such a clever way of utilizing the indescribability of eldritch horror and the audio-only podcast format. being as it is a horror show, I heavily recommend checking both the general and episode-specific content warnings which are available on the website, though I will say as a professional coward that with the help of the full and extensive transcripts I rarely got scared while catching up. the “strong arguments” warning for the show in general is so true btw these bitches fight!!! they’re both losers also never be fooled into thinking that either is cool. being vague in case you decide to listen but it’s very much a story about caring for someone at their worst and finding the strength to stumble on together hand in unloveable hand (LMAO. you may find this funny later) and figuring out how to trust someone before and after you know what they are.

okay now that I’ve put the fucking star wars title crawl of description in your notifications, there’s absolutely no pressure at all to listen to it! but if you do I will tag all further non-vague posts as spoilers (which I already do for posts made about the latest episodes). oh yeah there’s a new ep every month or so usually around 45 minutes long (we’re currently in s4). OH and I don’t remember how I knew this it might be in the episode blurbs or something but it’s just one guy who does all the voices. and also patrons can vote on some of the decisions that the protagonist makes (which is why after some emotionally fraught episodes you may see people saying that democracy was a mistake). both of these things are probably stated somewhere on the site but a friend of mine who started listening recently got to a later season without knowing the patron thing (which really adds to some scenes) so I’m saying it now! I hope this was maybe somewhat helpful and if you have further questions I’m happy to answer them!