#formaggio headcanons

[lady-of-endless]

Things you do that make their heart melt

(La Squadra x reader)

Author's Note: Those are random but that's the point. I tried to be a bit explicit for those who are at the start of Jojo part 5 and maybe don't remember each character's Stand name or ability. I couldn't write this only for my 3 darlings from La Squadra as I started it because I love them all too much. Proud La Squadra stan. Excuse any grammar mistakes. Enjoy!

Risotto Nero

- How you can balance being serious and being affectionate so easily. This is something he admires a lot and wishes to be capable of too sometimes. Yes, he's a serious and stoic man but the whole La Squadra knows just how big his heart is. Sometimes Risotto wishes he could show a bit of affection to the ones dear to him. Risotto is a softie inside but the nature of his occupation forces him to be as reserved and stern as he is now.

- How you can protect yourself. Being a hitman is tough, nothing new under the sun, but being the leader of the team is even worse. It's hard to watch out for others when he also must make sure that everything is working out smoothly. But he cares about you and your safety so damn much it's almost dangerous. So seeing you handle enemies alone helps him fall asleep at night with fewer worries. Also, watching you fight and come up with strategies makes him smile slightly and so subtly that of course, no one can notice it.

- How you look dressed in black with silver accessories. Aesthetically wise, black is one of his favorite colors and no one can tell otherwise. When you decide to match him with a dark outfit, his gaze will follow you more than usual. Be sure of the fact that he'll use his Stand, Metallica, to give you subtle signals, or not so subtle, by pulling onto your belt or necklace.

(it's loving Risotto hours)

Prosciutto

- How you calm yourself down after an intense moment. Prosciutto himself is not proud of when he snaps at people, thinking that it's not graceful behavior so he starts studying you from afar while calming down. He analyzes your soft tone, your calm face but alert eyes after being harsh, to learn from you but he finds himself falling for it. Like his brother, he also craves a bit of softness in his life but will never admit it, not even to himself so seeing you simmer down and transform into someone calm and understanding makes him want your presence more.

- How you counter him when he is too cruel to his brother. He is harsh with Pesci and he knows it, but he thinks it's only for good. It's not about how you're stubborn enough to argue with him but about how it reminds him that if something ever goes wrong with him on a mission, someone else will make sure that his brother is still alright and progressing. Also, as you two are arguing, things get pretty heated in no time and as the distance between you closes in, everyone knows that it's better to leave you two alone.

- How focused you look when deciding on an outfit. That and how you ask him for an opinion. You can see him leaning back in an armchair just looking at you searching through your clothes with an amused but admirative look on his face. Prosciutto likes to make himself look presentable and if you do the same, he can't help but find that fact attractive. Plus he can play dress up with you without you even suspecting it and he can't get enough of it.

(why is he like that? Love him though)

Ghiaccio

- How you let yourself be angry sometimes. To him, almost anyone seems calmer than him, but seeing someone being as furious as him from time to time and that someone being you? That's new. It doesn't happen often and in some odd way, he finds it fascinating. As much as he enjoys teasing you, he'll never be the type to say "Just calm down" or "You're exaggerating" because he knows how much it enrages someone already angry to hear this. He will be very understanding when you're like that. Plus, if someone or something gets you angry, he gets angry too so it will end up with the two of you being a scary couple.

- How your eyes shine when you smile and your smile in general. He is baffled by how when your lips are curved into a smile, your eyes are radiant too. Usually, he uses this expressiveness of yours against you, teasing you about it but when you smile so warmly, he feels like he's looking at the sun and that's unnerving because it makes him blush. He can't understand it.

- How your nose scrunches when you get a brain freeze from consuming something cold. This along with how your cheeks and nose redden when you're cold. He rolls his eyes at himself for like such a shallow and obvious thing but can't help it. It's not how adorable you look it's more how no one notices such details but him. It's his guilty pleasure. He has a kink when it comes to your reactions to cold temperatures.

(ugh I love him so much it's pathetic)

Pesci

- How you encourage him randomly sometimes. Pesci's already having a hard time adjusting to hitman life and constantly being scolded by his brother. At first, when you encourage him, he's stunned, flustered, embarrassed even but in time he starts to feel so much better overall because of it. His stress goes down and he gets more confident and sure of his actions because of your praise.

- How you're kind to the innocent - animals, kids, etc. Since he followed his brother and joined the team, the shock from seeing so much violence in his life all of a sudden left a mark on him. When he notices you being soft to the innocent and helpless while still being a hitman, he starts to heal. His only wish is for you to keep this side of yours so he can keep his too.

- How peaceful you look while sleeping. Again, being in an Italian hitman team is not easy, it distorted any perspective on peacefulness he had before. Seeing you rest without a frown on your face reminds him that there still is peacefulness in this way of living.

Melone

- How you're intelligent enough but don't flaunt it. Sure, he likes good looks but that's not as important as intelligence, any type. Melone is a bit of a sapiosexual, he knows it. If you come up with smart questions during meetings, his attention is immediately on you from that point on until the end of the meeting. Also, if you're genuinely curious about how his stand, Baby Face, works, it only adds to your charm.

- How you pick up on his "di molto" catchphrase. Melone works a lot. I mean A LOT. Besides progenation, he's skilled at finding out hidden info about the target, too. But usually, he does it alone, no one accompanies him and sometimes he can't help but feel slightly ignored. So when you start spending enough time with him to start using his phrases, he starts to feel less alone.

- How you walk. Simple as that. He has been caught many times staring at how some people walk, it's a well-known fact. So if you walk a bit slower and move your hips a bit more intentionally, making it look natural, he's dead. To hell with the mission for a few moments of pure admiration.

Illuso

- How confident you are. You don't need him to hype you up and he won't, but you'll always catch him looking at you with a proud look on his face. However, not everyone can be confident all the time and Illuso knows it very well. When he finds you letting your guard down and looking disappointed with yourself, he'll act right away. He hates seeing you struggle with shallow insecurities as you are just so wonderful in his eyes...

- How you take time to relax. He always insists on you taking everything a bit more slowly, so when you finally do it, he's more than pleased. He likes to see your facial muscles loosen up, causing a relaxed expression. He wishes to see it more often and he wishes for you to prioritise taking care of yourself.

- How you study yourself in the mirror while getting ready. He will use his Stand's ability to enter that mirror's dimension just to look at you from that perspective. This applies to intimate moments as well, just a heads-up. However, his favorite moment to do that is when you're fixing your hair, there's something about it that he finds so damn attractive.

Formaggio

- How you focus on the mission at hand. That, and how serious you look while doing it. Don't get it wrong, he's also focused on the missions but he looks more laid-back, like a natural. He finds it funny and adorable how you look so stern and even suggest him to pay more attention.

- How you always mention Sorbet and Gelato after their death. Everyone knows that Risotto said to forget about it after the funeral to focus on getting back on track as fast as possible and avenging them afterward but to Formaggio, this never felt right. So when you mention a memory from time to time to everyone, his heart feels a little bit lighter.

- How you dance to your favorite songs. He thinks that the majority of members of La Squadra are too stiff and grim sometimes so catching you dancing around alone to your playlist makes him smile. For him, it's like a breath of fresh air. Expect him to join you.

[k0mibee]

Forgot to put this here 💀

I’m so late to the game but idgaf

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

This took a really fucking long time, but I finally did it!!

La Squadra in my style with my headcanons!

[chronicallyonline101]

hi its me, i LOOVEEE the way you've characterised everyone in DK and it makes me wonder how many HCs you have for them all????? because theyre so unique down to the littlest of details, like Formaggio liking Smashmouth and Ghiaccio preffering Warhammer over DnD! i want to hear ur headcannons. share them with the class

hello again !!!! i will share !

I've got... a LOT. so i'll put them under cut!

La Squadra Headcanons!

Risotto HCs:

Started the hitman team at age 21 in 1994.

- Lived with his Aunt and Uncle growing up because his Catholic parents thought he was a 'bad omen'.

- Started a band with his cousin when they were around ten or eleven, stopped playing instruments after his cousin died.

- Was technically 'kidnapped' by Passione after killing the man who hit his cousin, emotionally manipulated under the guise that the organisation had 'saved' him from being sent to prison. This is one of the reasons he turned traitor.

- Likes writing poetry and short stories; particularly graphic, gory horror stories. When he was younger, he had wanted to be an author. Nowwadays he can't really see a future for himself.

- Keeps one of those diaries where when you input the code a song plays and it opens.

The song he chose is Enter Sandman, by Metallica. It's his favourite because it reminds him of himself, but if anyone asks him his favourite song he'll say something obscure like Creeping Death because he doesn't want to be seen as some basic poser.

- Forced Prosciutto to listen to The Grateful Dead.

- He's normally quite cordial with his workspace; the Hideout and his office are clean and proper, but his bedroom is extremely messy. It's his own space, so he lets it get tatty because he doesn't want to associate it with the stress of work.

- Has a really bad posture because he always has to hunch over to do paperwork.

- He's always quiet, not because he's mysterious and cool but because he was very isolated as a teenager and has ZERO social skills - he's always scared he'll mess up and say something weird, so he's very reserved.

In turn, he's created a sort of 'Boogeyman of Passione' name for himself. He's learnt to embrace his timid nature.

- The bells on his coxcomb are a test of stealth for himself. When you put a bell on a cat, it learns to hunt without ringing it; he's done the same.

On the contrary, though, it's not uncommon to hear jangling inside the hideout as he goes about his business because he doesn't feel the need to conceal himself within the presence of his teammates.

- Had anaemia growing up, was shot with the arrow and obtained Metallica; it cured his anaemia, but then he developed haemochromatosis - which is a result of too much iron building up in the blood over a prolonged period of time.

Since Metallica is his stand, his case of haemochromatosis isn't too severe and the symptoms aren't bad. It doesn't affect his work too much, but he can often become very fatigued and experiences a lot of joint pain.

- He is an artifical stand user (hit by the arrow.)

Prosciutto HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 19 in 1994.

- Pesci and Prosciutto are half-brothers; they share the same mother but have different fathers. Pesci looks more like their mum while Prosciutto looks more like his father - this caused a rift in their family because Pesci ended up being the favourite child.

- Was raised Catholic; claims to be atheist, but in truth upholds agnostic ideologies that he will sometimes accidentally project onto his teammates.

- Doesn't like smoking, but it's a habit he's gotten stuck into. He doesn't know how to quit.

- Joined La Squadra two years before Pesci, during this time Pesci thought he had died.

- Often uses their late mother as a way of manipulating Pesci: e.g. "What would she think of you behaving like this?" , "She'd be disappointed in you."

He doesn't realise how bad this behaviour is, he thinks he is doing the right thing in trying to mentor Pesci.

- Unlike Risotto, Prosciutto didn't know what he wanted to be while growing up. He was very focused on his classes in school, often earning lots of rewards and prizes but he only did it to try and earn his mothers affections. He never actually liked school.

That being said, his intellect is natural. He has always been very smart without trying.

- He has a gap in his front teeth and he HATES it because everyone tells him it looks cute and he doesn't want to look cute he wants to look scary and cool.

- Doesn't understand why Pesci is so morally upstanding. Why is it so hard for him to kill? Look, Prosciutto just killed twenty people! In one go!

Because of the Grateful Dead, it is very easy for Prosciutto to kill and not face the moral consequences of his actions. His kills are indirect and 'merciful', as he puts it - whereas Pesci has to get physical. He needs to come into direct contact to kill, so he has to deal with the moral turmoil that comes with murder.

- I also like to think he's got really prominent eyebags and forehead wrinkles because of how often he is subjected to the effects of his own stand.

Like, he seems to be able to control how his own body ages and shifts between old and young whenever a situation negates it, nd I don't think it's very good for his skin to be doing that all the time.

Maybe he has an extensive moisturising routine to combat the effects of his stand?

- Cleans messes on instinct; even if it isn't his own, he cleans up after everyone. He knows this is bad because it just gives everyone else a reason to be slobby, but he can't help it - nobody else ever cleans to the degree he likes anyways, so he might as well do it.

- He is an artifical stand user (hit by the arrow.)

Formaggio HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 23 in 1995.

- Gwess and Formaggio are also half-siblings! Different mothers, and about twenty-years difference between the two of them so Formaggio probably didn't know she existed until a LOT later in life.

ALSO. when i first watched Stone Ocean i kept mishearing Gwess' name as Gwyn, so I headcanon her to be Welsh, which means by default I also headcanon Formaggio to be Welsh !!! But that's a HC i tend to leave out of my fics cuz it's really outlandish.

- If he'd lived until 2012, I like to think he would have tried to break Gwess out of prison. Probably would have failed.

- Got his cat as a gift from his mother when he was a teenager, it's the only thing he has left from his mother and so he tries his hardest to take care of her - even if he is struggling to take care of himself.

Despite this, he still shoves his cat into bottles and jars and things. It's a really cool party trick! Everyone always thinks he's so cool, like some kind of magician!

- Unlike Risotto and Prosciutto, who were both raised Catholic, Formaggio's parents were both atheist. His mother attended Church, but it was mostly an excuse to get away from his father and he never bothered to go with her.

- Has joint pain and muscle soreness from how often he has to shrink himself and then re-grow himself.

- Like's to collect mini-things; like those little baking kits. He thinks they are so cute!

- He is a natural redhead, like in the manga, but dyes his hair grey, like in the anime, so that he doesn't get bullied.

- He is a natural stand user (born with ability.)

Pesci HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 19 in 1996.

- Pesci would rather be doing ANYTHING else. He never wanted to be a hitman. He doesn't like killing - not because he's all soft and sensitive like people make him out to be, but because he has morals and??? killing people? is wrong?

So why is he a hitman?

Well, I think Pesci has had the WORST life humanely possible. At twelve, his dad died in a boating accident. At sixteen, his brother 'went missing', presumed dead. At seventeen, his mother died. He was so lonely, and isolated, that when he realised his brother was in fact alive, he was willing to do anything to try and give himself purpose.

- Despite joining the team years beforehand, Pesci only had his first kill in 2001. This was because Prosciutto still coddles him as his little brother and he can get away with doing less on hits.

It's kind of manipulative - like, weaponizing faux incompetence, but he doesn't care.

- He wanted to be a fisherman when he grew up, like his father had been; he rarely has time to go fishing since joining the hitman team.

- If he could leave the team, he probably would.

- That being said, I think if he had lived past the events of VA he would have had the potential to become one of the most powerful hitmen on the team - and that is why Prosciutto never gave up on him, despite his supposed 'cowardice'

- His hair matts really easy so he tries to keep it short; he'll spend hours before bed trying to brush knots out of it.

- He is a night-owl, and likes staying up until quite late into the night listening to music or doing some of his other hobbies, like painting or drawing - he is extremely creative!

But because of this, when he does go to sleep, he often ends up sleeping until the late hours of the day. He is always criticised for this by Prosciutto.

- He is an artifical stand user (hit with arrow.)

Melone HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 18 in 1994.

- Pookie... where do I even start.......

- I think he has mild heterochromia; one of his eyes is a blue-ish green and the other is blue. He used to be bullied for it, which is why he covers it.

Since joining the hitman team and meeting Risotto - who, yk, has funky eyes - he has learnt to like his eyes a bit more.

- Melone wanted to be a doctor or a scientist when he grew up. He loves biology and chemistry, particularly in regards to the creation of human life: reflected in his stand, Babyface.

I like to think that he had toyed with 'creating life' even before he got his stand; as a teenager he would do old fashioned experiments with homunuculuses and other alchemy.

- Since Junior is not connected to his body, he often does not get injured during missions. He is the least muscular and most lithe out of everyone on the Hitman team, however, maintains a semi-athletic built as he maintains a very firm exercise routine - being a Hitman takes a lot of muscle, so he can't get away with not exercising in the same way his teamates do, even if he experiences less threat than them.

- He also has a lot less scars than the rest of them for this very reason.

- His teammates are hot-headed, quick-thinkers; he is not. He is slow, cold and calculated. Since he is almost never in the heat of a battle, he is allowed to sit back and think. He has the time to calculate his next move.

This is his downfall, however; when Giorno's snake finds him in the trainstation he isn't given a chance to think through his next decision. The attack is quick and painful. ☹️.

- Unlike the rest of the team, he didn't know his parents that well. They sold him to Passione when he was very young, so any memory he does have of them has been soured.

- They were likely atheists, though.

- He can be quite manipulative at times, and he knows exactly what he's doing. In fact, he has a chart on Babyface which shows him the traits and weak-points of all his teammates; he knows near everything about them, and can poke and prod in a way that gets him exactly what he wants.

- His outfit squeaks whenever he walks. He's really bad at stealth missions.

- He also has REALLY bad posture (which I think is semi-canon tbh cuz, during that one scene where they are searching Donatella's house he walks into the room and HE LOOKS LIKE A SHRIMP.)

- I also have a transfem hc for Melone, but the last time I shared that with someone they started tweaking and told me it was weird so I mostly keep that to myself now  😭

- If he had lived, I think he would have had a MySpace and Tumblr, I think he'd of liked how you can customise your own blog and how it's your own little space to yap about whatever!

- Has a HORRIBLE sleep schedule. Not because he has insomnia or anything, but just because he always gets distracted on his laptop right before bed and ends up staying up until 4-5am.

Like Pesci, he is more of a night-owl anyways. The two often end up bumping into each other in the middle of the night.

- He is an artifical stand user (hit by arrow.)

Ghiaccio HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 20 in 1994.

- His brash personality is a result of his bad upbringing. His parents were very abusive, and so he is used to having to bite back at those around him; he is constantly in 'defence mode' and snaps at the people around him often unintentionally.

He feels bad about it, but doesn't know how to stop. It's especially hard to recover from this habit when his teammates are always plucking at his nerves.

- With that in mind; his parents are rich.

Like, how else could he have that convertible??? La Squadra was getting paid PENNIES and then he rolls up to HQ in his shiny new eighty-one-million lira (i did the math for this) car????

- His parents seemed to think buying him nice stuff would win his affections. He got the car for his 18th birthday, and still uses it despite having since cut off his parents.

- He went to a private school growing up and is objectively the most educated on the entire team.

- Because of the way he was raised, he detests authorative figures. He didn't like Risotto when he first joined the team, but has since learnt to respect his stoic leader.

- Reads play-scripts for fun. (im projecting)

- REALLY likes tabletop RPGS, but would rather die than tell ANYONE about his little hobby.

He finds it to be a good distraction, especially after getting mad and blowing up at someone; painting the figures, or reading the rules, or playing the game can be a good way for him to focus on something else and relax.

His favourite is Warhammer, though. He doesn't like D&D, he thinks its for mainstream wannabe nerds. Not him. He's cool. (he's not.)

- He pretends to hate Fallout, but secretly loves it. I've talked abt it on my blog before, but I think when the first game came out in 1997 he was SO mad that RPG games were getting popular - Formaggio got into it and he felt like his interests were getting invaded, so he refused to play the game for like a year until the second Fallout came out in 1998, and he realised it was actually a really good game.

He is probably rolling around in his grave watching how Bethesda is slowly destroying the franchise.

- His family was Catholic, but he is an atheist.

- If he had lived, I like to think he would have DEFINITELY had a Reddit and 4Chan acct, but he wouldn't use it often because it would piss him off how stupid everyone is on there.

- He desperately needs a hug but doesn't know it and refuses to ask anyone for it. He is SO touch starved.

- Unlike Melone, he has a really good sleep schedule but suffers with insomnia. He takes melatonin gummies to go to sleep.

- He has a very good schedule in general; he exercises regularly, eats healthily, showers every day - with special shampoo to retain his curls, and likes to go for at least half an hour walks outside. A routine keeps him stable, he would fall into bad habits if he didn't have complete dictation over his own life.

- Because of this, he can grow extremely irritated when there are disruptions to his routine. Which happens often, since being a Hitman can be quite unpredictable.

- His stand is natural (born with ability.)

Illuso HCs:

Joined the hitman team at age 19 in 1995.

- Knows everything about everyone and WILL use it as blackmail.

- He is EXTREMELY nosy and will stick himself into EVERYONES business. Nobody is safe.

- Can be quite rude at times, but he never actually means it. It's just his way of showing affection. He has quite a sarcastic sense of humour that other people on the team *COUGH* GHIACCO *COUGH* don't get.

- Had to become very independent from a young age. He didn't have a father, only his mother which meant that when she developed a deadly sickness in his teens he was forced to support for the family by himself.

- BUT because of the fact that he was raised by his mother, he respects women! Yay! It's why he's into more 'feminine' stuff, he's never really seen an issue with being girly, and sometimes the others bully him for it but he doesn't care.

- He was probably raised Catholic, but doesn't really care for religion.

- He is a sleepwalker AND a sleep-stand-user (a term I made up), and will routinely freak everyone out by showing up in their mirrors in the middle of the night.

- He is so self-centred, yet blindingly insecure, that he thinks anyone who so-as-much spares him a glance is interested in him. With that in mind, he is oblivious to people who actually show interest in him.

- Illuso didn't know what he wanted to be when he grew up. He was forced into a role of authority so quickly, that he was never actually given a chance to think for himself.

- If he did get given a chance to pick his own career, he would likely stay on the Hitman team. He doesn't have the school-grades to get any job that is actually worthwhile, and he doesn't see a reason to leave his team.

- Refuses to let any of his teammates use two-in-one shampoo. If he sees it, he's throwing it. He once caught Formaggio using three-in-one and almost had a heart attack.

- Like Melone, if he had lived he probably would have owned a MySpace account.

- He is a natural stand user (born with stand)

Sorbet & Gelato HCs:

Joined the hitman team at ages 21 in 1995.

- I don't have a lot for these two, BUT, i could never forget them.

- I like to think they met in secondary-school, (high-school, for the Americans) but they didn't get together for a WHILE.

- This is because they were in totally different social circles. Gelato was quite popular and chatty, he knew a lot of people and was invited to parties like every weekend - yk, classic airheaded blond - whereas Sorbet was a social outcast and didn't have a lot of friends.

- But they are both extremely virile and violent.

- I think Gelato used to get a kick out of hurting other things. It started with animals, but eventually turned to that of people - he likes having control over things, knowing he is more powerful than those around him. He was a rampant bully, and took to hurting those he saw as 'less-than' him.

- Sorbet on the other hand, while he didn't actively go around hurting people for control, was into very grotesque things. He liked those weird, sexual slasher films of the 80's and took extreme interest in blood and gore and the likes.

- BECAUSE OF THIS, when they did eventually find each other, they clicked immediately! I'm not gonna share how I HC them having met, because it's spoilers for DK  🤭 but it's dramatic, it's bloody, and it's romantic!

- A lot of people interpret them both as being money hungry, but I don't think that's the case! In the series, when asked where they are, Ghiaccio suggests they might be "Playing hooky" (i hate that phrase sm), BUT THEN Risotto says "Gelato, maybe, but Sorbet always comes for his cut of the pay."

- Which makes me believe that out of the two of them, Sorbet is the greedy one. I think that Gelato doesn't care about money, and if he had been in charge the two wouldn't have tried to go against the Boss - but he loves Sorbet, and he wanted him to be happy. So when the discussion was first brought up, he had his reservations but trusted that they could pull this off.

THATS ALL. its all i can think of rn... i probably have more somewhere but ong I can't remember :(

[bizzxis]

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[gayboyasher]

Can you please do la squadra reacting to the reader calling them “cute”? (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

I just really need some fluff rn

FLUFF is the WAY!! I had to re-do this because my dumbass closed out the app and forgot to save, and I was just about to Melone 😭😔 anyway, I gave them things that they probably do that are cute. I’m sorry if you don’t agree with them

><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Rissotto

Rissotto does this thing where when he’s concentrated, he furrows his brows and looks frustrated, but it’s so cute at the same time. He was doing this whole working, and you just had to tell him how cute he was!

At first, he seemed confused, cute?? Really?

He laughs softly, trying to think of something to say to that.

“Sole mio, I’m working.”

He doesn’t mean it in a mean way, but now he’s distracted from you pointing it out.

His focus turns to stopping his “quirk”, and then that gets him distracted.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto taps his fingers. He taps them on any surface, or he’ll just tap his fingers against his thumb. He’ll especially do this while he’s taking a phone call. Once he gets off the phone you tell him about it.

He looks at you like your crazy. He thinks it’s crazy.

Prosciutto is very much a macho man. He believes that the word cute is something not to describe masculine things, especially him.

He sighs and shakes his head in disappointment, finger wag and all. He doesn’t even say anything.

He’s another one who tries to stop it, and boy was he not able to do it.

Someone needs to explain to this poor boy he doesn’t have to be embarrassed to be called cute

Pesci

Pesci tends to hum. He’ll hum a tune that’s been stuck in his head and it’ll get stuck into your head. He’s also just cute doing absolutely nothing. He’s cute in general. Someone needs to say it.

Once you tell him that, he goes red. He doesn’t know how to take a compliment, so he’s just stuttering and stammering, trying to compliment you.

His ears are already hot and his mind is blank.

“You really mean it? You’re cuter!”

God, he’s completely flustered.

He doesn’t try to get rid of the habit, but still thinks about it

Formaggio

Formaggio actually is also another cutie. He could sit there and be cute. But I see him acting all cute trying on clothes and flexing in them.

Once you tell him he’s cute he’s a little shocked, but not in any bad way.

He’s another macho man, but he’s not gonna be upset by being called cute!

He thinks of it as you hyping him up even more.

“Awh, you really think so? You must think I’m handsome too, huh? You’re pretty cute yourself.”

He just tries to embarrass you.

Illuso

He uses his computer quite a bit, and he focuses hard. When ever he does, he sticks his tongue out just slightly and squints his eyes. It’s actually adorable if you think about it.

Knowing his online history, he was probably in the middle of cyber bullying while you said that.

He’s a little flustered, but he understands the hype, he is the finest one out of the team (in his opinion)

“You really think so? Even when I’m being so mean?”

Another teaser. He’s gonna be cocky.

He doesn’t try to get rid of the quirk either, but he stops squinting his eyes.

Melone

ANOTHER one on his computer. You don’t even wanna know what’s on his computer, but his face looks so gentle and calm. He’s another one who can just sit there and be cute.

When you first initially call him cute, he doesn’t realize you’re even talking to him.

It takes him a second and once he notices, he smiles and looks up at you

His face gets a tad bit hot, and he wants to make you feel the same way.

“Miele, you really think so? I think you’re cuter.”

He teases, and he teases well.

He teases in a nice way. It’s actually cute

Ghiaccio

When he’s concentrated, he bites his lip gently. It’s actually very cute, and it seems to be one of the only times he’s not angry.

He takes it like an insult at first

He’s not a macho man, but he thinks it was passive aggressive.

“What does that mean Amore?? Was that backhanded or something??”

You have to explain to him that you’re not trying to be mean

Another poor boy who can’t take compliments.

[ask-la-squadra]

Much awaited smell headcanons for the squad

(perfume screenshots are taken from fragrantica, they serve as examples, not the exact perfume they would wear necessarily)

Risotto Nero

- likes niche scents that are more of a 'vibe' than an actual smell, think 'cemetary in the rain' or 'cathedral bookshelf'

- fan of niche notes like 'wet tarmac' and 'gasoline'

- his signature scent is something dark that smells like rain and pine mostly, outdoorsy but make it edgy

- also smells slightly metallic and blood like for obvious reasons

Prosciutto

- likes to present himself well and so smelling good is part of it

- likes bold scents like dark fruits, oud, spices, whiskey, rum

- obviously smells of tobacco constantly, which he is semi conscious of, he likes stronger and bolder scents to mask this

- has a scent steamer that he puts in his wardrobe to make his clothes smell nice, usually uses woody spicy scents for this

Pesci

- likes citrusy fresh scents

- big fan of aquatics too, sea salt for example, likes smelling beachy as he feels relaxed and most himself when he is at the beach, it helps with his nerves

- anything too heavy gives him a headache

- all of his shampoo and body wash items are coconut scented

Formaggio

- unfortunately a Dior Sauvage Male (derogatory)

- doesnt actually wear sauvage anymore but wears more high end versions of it, with a shit ton of lynx (i think its axe in the US)

- very stereotypical male smell, sprays wayyy too much and gives everyone headaches

- uses a slivered bar soap in the shower that smells faintly of lemon, washes his hair with this soap too since he doesnt feel the need for shampoo due to his buzzcut

Illuso

- Headache inducing florals and woody scents

- remind him of his grandma, think sandalwood and rose

- smells like a rose garden but slightly musky (he sweats a lot because i said so)

- expensive shampoo and body wash, these are vanilla scented

Melone

- fruity (make all your jokes)

- loves fruity shampoos and body wash

- victorias secret body sprays and those britney spears perfumes are his go to

- loves smelling like fruity sweets, goes for cheaper perfumes because he likes to top it up throughout the day as fruity notes dont typically last

- he has some darker fruitier scents for occassions that have plum and cherry notes in them along with jasmine and tobacco

Ghiaccio

- likes smelling clean and fresh

- soft vanilla powdery perfume scents for hot days or just out of the shower

- will wear scents that smell of herbs, spices and burnt wood mostly when he goes out, buys the same perfume all the time rather than trying new ones like everyone else

- in general just likes something fresh and natural smelling, not too harsh on the nose

- all of his shower products have that like dove soap scent or coconut

[lemonflavoreddishsoap]

Can I request La Squadra x S/O who's taller than them? Thank you.

yes you caaaaaan! Sorry if these are, ironically, shorter HCs.

jsyk i write this with the opinion that Risotto is by far the tallest

------------------------------------------------- La Squadra with an S/O who's taller than them!

Formaggio

"Well yea, it's easy to be taller than me, heh" *insert shrinking...noises?*

The taller the S/O, the more inclined he feels to shrink himself and ride on your shoulder. Get used to it.

Bro gets on his tippy toes to kiss you. he doesn't even have to but he still does. It's kind of cute?

Illuso

"No you're not."

Unless you're taller than him by like. A foot or some shit. He is adamant you two are at least the same height.

He doesn't bring it up unless you do but...he subtly tries to make himself seem taller. It's so fucking petty, you decide if it's annoying or charming :/

Prosciutto

"Alright, and?"

He probably cares the least about your height. Sure, you're taller than him. So what? Unless his head is at like. boob level 24/7 or something somehow, he doesn't care.

Unless you bring it up, or poke fun at him being shorter. You better think his glares are sexy 'cause....

If you're tall enough for it to matter, he'll do the "pulling you by the collar into a kiss" thing

Pesci

"Being near you...feels so secure...."

He loves it!!!! When you hug him it feels like you're completely surrounding him...like, not literally, but the idea is so comforting!

I was going to say you should rest your chin on top of his head but...um...how sturdy is his hair?

If you're happy with your height, he'll bring it up a lot when he compliments you.

Melone

"DI MOLTO"

"Is your whole family like that?"

Excited to know if it's something that runs strong in your genetics. No particular reason. Trust me.

Like Pesci, he doesn't have any issues with having a taller s/o. It's just another lovely aspect about you <3

Ghiaccio

"Okay fine, I get it! For fucks sake!"

This poor guy. To be honest, he really doesn't care that you're taller than him, he thinks its fine. But people won't leave him alone about it

Yeah he's an "angry little gremlin thing" but they gotta stop dragging his s/o into it...it kind of sours the height difference a little.

But like I said, he really doesn't have any issues with it. If you can get past how much the comments annoy him, you can probably see how much he likes your chin on top of his head, or how you look so slightly down on him when your faces are so close....gah sorry what was i doing-

Risotto

"Be nice. They're are not scary."

yes you are. my lactose intolerant ass envies you. what the actual fuck.

I guess that's a pro about him being with someone taller than him, that he can't intimidate his s/o with his height? That's not to imply that he's intimidated by you though!!

Unless people are causing a fuss about it though, Risotto doesn't mind your height. I don't think physical appearance means much when it comes to partners to him? Just my personal feeling.

[diovstheworld]

La Squadra Shitposts #31

i’m coming back from my break from writing/the internet i guess(?) and why not come back with another one of these. i’m not gonna lie, i missed making these :,) so enjoy and hopefully i’ll be posting more soon :)

୨ ╭ ୨୧ ✦ ︶꒷꒦・⎯⎯・⎯⎯・₊ˎ✧๑

[the-illiterate-pirate]

La Squadra NSFW headcanons because I'm feral ♡

Cut for length (and content ofc)

Risotto

- Literally one of the most vanilla guys you'll meet in the Mafia. Don't get me wrong my man has his kinks but he's pretty bare bones

- Contrary to popular belief he's not a big fan of blood play and doesn't like to mix work with intimate affairs. He does have a bit of an oral fixation (giving and receiving) and really likes saliva though

- His member is pretty average sized actually. I mean compared to this mountain of a man it may look a bit small but trust me, he knows how to use it

- Does in fact have a cock piercing. It's a magic cross, have fun looking that up. Apparently it helps stimulate too

- His favorite position is cowgirl

Prosciutto

- Sleeps around a lot tbh but really wants to settle down with a special someone after leaving the gang

- Honestly I would not trust him with aftercare he thinks it's lighting a cigarette with a glass of (insert liquor because idk wtf Italians drink)

- Super lazy but can be a really good brat tamer if you push him

- Doesn't have a daddy kink but loves being called "Sir" and likes a power imbalance

- Will smack that ass and it will hurt

- Will fall asleep after finishing his glass but will at least offer to cuddle

Pesci

- Dreams of becoming the perfect man in bed. But I mean he's already got 5/5 stars with aftercare so he's halfway there. Like he can be buck naked and shaking but he'll still ask you if you're okay and try to comfort you afterwards

- Has the BIGGEST dick in the group I won't take criticism or notes my man is PACKING HEAT he just doesn't know how to use it (yet) take caution

- Low-key a masochist and likes to be bossed around but can be a little fragile, please be good and make sure to check up on him uwu. If things get too heavy he might try to force himself to do something to the point he ruins the experience for himself :( communication is key with him

- On a lighter note he VERY MUCH enjoys queening/kinging and will gladly let you sit on his face

- PRAISE HIM PLEASE HE'S A GOOD BOY TRYING HIS BEST AND HE NEEDS TO KNOW IT

Formaggio

- Okay yes he likes pet play are you happy. Luckily he's a major bisexual switch so it can go both ways. He likes being your good puppy <3

- STOP GIVING RISOTTO THE SIZE KINK WHEN IT RIGHTFULLY BELONGS TO THIS KING HIMSELF. He WILL use his Stand on you when you least expect it because he's an ass this is your warning

- Like stated before big switch energy, is a nasty dom when he wants to be but will only bottom if you soft dom him because he does not believe in equality

- He FALLS ASLEEP IMMEDIATELY afterwards and he SNORES because he HATES HIS S/O /j

- Also really loves oral and giving sloppy head. Mf DROOLS EVERYWHERE

Illuso

- Likes to act like a bad bitch but loves when he gets pampered like he will melt if you play with his hair

- Another switch (like most of the JoJo cast but whatever) but it's easier for him to bottom because he's lazy.

- LOVES receiving overstimulation for some reason like suck this man dry until he cries he'll be living it up. Safe words exist for a reason and he use it to his (dis)advantage

- VOICE KINK !! All types of noises from you can get him off. With good ole' Lulu it's important to be vocal, tell him how you feel, make noise, dirty talk, the whole nine yards

- Has a little issue with self worth so like praise this baby, worship this baby, he'll be in heaven

- Shockingly? Pretty good with aftercare

Ghiaccio

- Oh my god it's so easy for him to get overwhelmed and he HATES IT I'm begging for your sake treat him gently

- Easy to fluster because he's pretty new to relationship stuff and he'll need you to show him the ropes. You could very well be one of his first, sex is very intimate for him and he'd like to stick with one person

- Low-key bites

- Due to Stand reasons his limbs are very cold, he will use this against you

- I said Risotto was vanilla but man Ghia might take the cake, he's a bit of a stiff when it comes to the bedroom, but that isn't always bad. He likes good old missionary and making sure he takes care of you, but if he's overly stressed he'll give you the reigns for the night

- If all goes well, and he isn't overstimulated, sex actually really helps him relax, he's a lot more bubbly afterwards and likes to stay up with you, talking, drinking water (but not eating anything because he refuses to have crumbs in the bed)

Melone

- Has the WEIRDEST fixation on bodily fluids like I get where he's coming from but WHY

- As smooth as a baby. Everywhere. We think he waxes but we haven't seen proof yet. He's also got a pretty dick.

- Ribbons, ropes, chains, leather, he's a really big fan of restraints as long as there's a safe word and you're both on the right track

- Totally down to try anything, just ask. He's eager to please.

- Yes.... He has a breeding kink. He wants a big family

- Idk what you call it but pls pls pls let him suck on your titties while you jerk him off. He can die happily

- Really likes the 69 position (with him on top)

Sorbet & Gelato

- Buy one get one free, you cannot get one without the other let's make that clear. They're both sadistic meanies and will not let you top

- Double penetration or spit roasting is a MUST

- Being in a relationship with each other for so long they've gotten good with aftercare, Gelato is more touchy feely while Sorbet is all about snacks and vitamins

- Sorbet bites, Gelato fucking claws. They're both very into marking you up everywhere and love the embarrassment they get from you

- They love you, they really do... But sometimes they can get a little caught up in the moment with their own makeout sessions

- Afterwards you all just collapse into a pile of limbs lol

[lady-of-endless]

What they do for you after a rough mission

(La Squadra x Reader)

Summary: You, their lover and teammate, get back to the hideout, exhausted and disheveled in the middle of the night after a rough solo mission.

Author's Note: My second La Squadra x Reader. I love them so much that it's ridiculous already. If you're interested in the other one, you can find it here

Risotto

- He is always waiting for you to get back no matter when, both because he needs to know how the mission went and how you are feeling, of course.

"You're back..." He speaks in a calm tone, staring at your slightly torn-up clothing and tired expression from where he was sitting. Seeing how you're not that reactive, he gets that the damage is more profound and his gaze softens. "It's over now. Join me for a moment, tesoro." He says gesturing to sit next to him.

- Unfortunately, you must tell him the details, he is the one who needs to know, it's expected. However, Risotto is patient and gentle with you, not questioning anything, waiting for you to start when you feel like it. As you speak, he will push a strand of hair behind your ear and pull you closer to him by your shoulders. He will get you anything you need as long as you say it. He wants to be helpful and efficient for you but wants to know exactly what you need.

- He's not the one to praise you after such a mission because he feels guilty. Strong, guilt that clings to his heart as he looks at the state you're in. He feels guilty for not protecting you, for sending you out there alone, and more than anything, for making you live this way when all he wants for you is a peaceful life, happiness, and nothing like his way of life. You can explain that it was your choice as much as you want but this guilt will haunt him forever no matter what.

- Will tell you that you have a day off tomorrow, no other objections or questions. What happens with your tasks? He handles them himself without you knowing it.

Prosciutto

- You'll find him sitting in an armchair with a glass of wine, making it look like he wasn't waiting for you but just relaxing. As you enter, he doesn't say a word at first, which is rare for him. He gets up and slowly makes his way over to you, observing the state you are in, with his glass of wine still in his hand.

"From the looks of it, e chiaro how the mission went. You should change, you look more like a mess than a professional assassin." He says coldly but there is worry in the way his eyes are searching for yours. "You shouldn't let the others see you like this." With this, he hands you his glass and grabs your shoulders, walking you to the bathroom. You might be too exhausted to notice it but there's a certain gentleness in how he holds your shoulders, his thumbs slightly rubbing your skin. This might be the first time he sees you like this, which could be the starting point of him being more affectionate towards you.

- As you finish his glass of wine, he runs a warm bath for you. At this point, you start to wonder what has gotten into him. Prosciutto will sit by the bathtub on a chair, watching over you in case you fall asleep but not only because of that. He even helps you wash your hair, but you need to stay silent and not say anything about it, his condition. He'll wash your hair and shoulders gently to get you to relax and tells you how God damn spoiled you are. However, as he keeps washing you, you can't see his soft gaze. He's relieved that you came back to him.

- The next few days, he'll be attentive to your needs, and moods, to make sure you got back on track and more importantly for him, that you're alright. The treatment you got from him after that mission will go unsaid like it never happened. He doesn't mention this but be sure that he will repeat it anytime it's needed without excuses but with some teasing of course.

(ugh I love him sm)

Pesci

- Jumps from the couch as soon as he hears the door. His eyes move frantically over your figure, noticing your weary expression and the damage to your clothes, and become a stuttering mess.

"You... look like a mess." He says, hesitantly and timid for stating this. "D-did you have a difficult mission?". He's so worried that you'll have to calm him down first.

- After calming down, Pesci gets determined to make you feel better. He provides your favorite snacks, favorite movies, and basically, anything you want. On this occasion, you notice how attentive he is always to your preferences. He waits for you to tell him what you need like a sweetheart that he is. He stays up all night with you until you finally start feeling better, no excuses.

- The next day, if his older brother comments on you and how the mission went, he won't hesitate to stand up and counter his older brother. This attitude is so rare from Pesci so it shocks both you and Prosciutto especially (he's secretly proud). Pesci won't let anyone talk badly about you because even when you were a mess, he admired you so much for going through it and handling it the way you did.

Ghiaccio

- While you are gone, he is not worried about you getting it done, he knows your strength but he feels worried to the point of anger that he's not there to fight next to you. He waits for you, tapping his leg, grunting as he looks at the clock. Of course, he will deny that he waited for you out of worry, he'll say that he just wanted to make sure you got it done. As you enter, he automatically stops moving and silently scans your body for injuries first.

"Cazzo..." He curses seeing how you are a mess. "You look like you went through hell and back."

- Seeing how you don't even have the energy to respond with a comeback, he sighs and shakes his head. Ghiaccio pulls you to the bathroom motivating you to at least take a shower to wash everything off you. He waits outside, secretly leaning against the door with his arms crossed at his chest and listening closely in case you collapse out of exhaustion. Once you're done he hands you one of his clean shirts because he refused to go to your room and search through your clothes. Whenever you thank him, he looks away and tells you not to mention it. Another thing you shouldn't mention is how soft he is in this situation.

- For him, the lack of your usual attitude and teasing way of being towards him, is the thing that scares him more than he thought at first. If that passionate flame of yours that frustrates him is gone, he gets uncomfortably worried for you. He knows that something is bad but he's more motivated to find a way to help you with it. Ghiaccio is extremely frustrated that he's not good with empathy and can't feel what you go through but he tries his best to understand. He starts asking details about the mission but don't take it the wrong way, he just wants to know more before deciding on the best way of action. If the mission didn't end well and you didn't get the target eliminated, the next morning, the target is found dead. Ghiaccio was busy after you fell asleep. He tells you to shut up about it and tell the others that you did it. He didn't want you to keep feeling bad in the morning when you had to report to Risotto. Plus, no one messes you up like that and sees the light of the next day with Ghiaccio.

(his ability is ice-based but he surely makes my heart melt)

Melone

- He stays up all night every time you're out on a mission alone and he's not even hiding it, it's a routine. You coming back to the base is the highlight of his night. As you enter, he instantly looks up from his computer and takes in the damage you sustained. He sighs seeing how worn out you looked.

"Oh, cara mia, you look terrible. Come here, let me take a look at you, and tell me where it hurts." He says sweetly.

He seems calm and laid back but inside, he is so damn worried because he has never seen you so drained before. He doesn't know what to do in this situation so he initially analyzes and tries to guess your needs. Distractions? Silence? Rest? Shower? Intimacy with him? No, cut that. At first, his mind seems to run on algorithms like his Stand. However, he starts to understand that for you, it's better to go with the flow.

- It's easy to open up to him because of his affection and you'll be surprised by how much of a great listener he is. Melone uses this even during missions as an advantage but not with you. With you, he listens because he wants just to know how you feel. He won't give you advice, won't criticize your strategy of choice regarding that mission, won't encourage you. He'll just listen, tell you that it's important to recover first, and caress your cheek.

- Melone waits to see what you need at that particular moment. But, just so you know, he has everything prepared just in case and he won't say a thing. In the morning, there might be someone else asking why the hell is the bathtub full (he ran a bath just in case but you didn't feel like it and of course, he forgot about it). Melone is there to simply spoil you and make you feel that he will always have your back.

Formaggio

- As soon as you enter, no matter in what state you're in, he immediately gets up with open arms.

"Still looking good, gattina!" He welcomes you and already tries to lighten the mood. However, he hugs you tightly and runs a hand through your hair. You can feel and hear him sigh deeply. "What did you get into?" He whispers in a gentle tone.

He pulls you to the couch and has in plan to hold you tight the whole rest of the night, waiting for you to open up about it. He provides the warmest embrace.

- He needs to see a smile, even a faint one to be sure that you'll be alright. He works hard for it. He tries joking around but it's not working. Has the idea to put on an entertaining movie but you're too tired. Tells you some things that happened while you were gone but you don't seem to listen. After all those attempts, Formaggio naturally resorts to telling you how he felt on his first missions ever when he was a total mess while holding you and untangling your hair. Is surprised to see that you slowly opened up about it after he was the one to do it first without it even being his intention.

- He won't let the others tease you about it the next day if details were heard or if they saw you in that state. If they do that, they will see another side of Formaggio, a side that makes Risotto interfere before the conflict escalates. The others start to get how protective he is over you. As tense as he is from that heated moment, his expression changes immediately when he sees you, smiling warmly like nothing happened.

Illuso

- He welcomes you warmly with a smirk on his face, secretly excited that you're back. His smile drops gradually, seeing your loss of reaction to seeing him, looking rather out of it and lost. He understands right away what's wrong as he looks at you from head to toe. He walks over to you and grabs your wrist to guide you to the bathroom. He does this without any words, not being sure of what you want to hear.

- In the bathroom, he gets the water running at the sink and you get his idea. However, Illuso stands behind you and grabs your hands in his large ones. He washes the dried blood off your hands with gentle moves. He knows that the intimacy of this gesture will keep your mind off the mission.

- He thinks some praise can always help and that's what he gives you. He leans down and puts his chin on your shoulder as his hands slide over yours and starts whispering praise close to your ear.

"There, there...you did a good job. You held your ground out there, and you came back in one piece. You gotta have some skill for that, you know."

He tells you and watches your expression in the mirror from above the sink to see if it's working. He didn't feel worried for your state even when seeing you come back like that after the mission. Illuso knows that you're strong enough and you'll recover, you also got him and won't need to go through it alone. This and especially because what he felt was deep relief because you came back after all, alive. His worry was alive only for before he heard the door and your footsteps.

[dokidoki-tae]

April Fools

I don't know if Italians celebrate April Fools but how La Squadra feels about the holiday/pranking.

Risotto- Enjoys pranks whether he's a participant or on the receiving end. His "pranks" are pretty vanilla. He doesn't do elaborate planning. He would do something spontaneously. Something like walking into the kitchen in the morning for coffee and the idea of hiding pops into his head, so he'd use his stand to go invisible and surprise the first victim (Prosciutto) who walks in next. He likes being pranked. Tries to subtly encourage the team to pull one on him. Usually it's Formaggio or Gelato since the others are either too scared or uninterested in April Fools.

Prosciutto- Absolutely hates pranks, especially when he's on the receiving end, but his reactions are always so funny to the pranksters that they keep pulling them on him because of how heated he gets. But even harmless ones like turning the toilet paper rolls the wrong way will piss him off because it's in the spirit of the holiday. Wouldn't be surprised if he rented a hotel room for the day just to get away from Formaggio, Gelato, and Melone from pranking and tormenting him. It's incredible how easy it is to wind him up on this day. No, he will even humor his team by participating, which they often try to do.

Formaggio- Loves pranking and being pranked. They can range from harmless to mean-spirited. His light hearted pranks are usually reserved for Risotto or any other teammate who can take a joke and overall chill. His meaner ones usually are towards Illuso just because. The level for his other teammates depends on his mood. If his someone pisses him off, he's going to torment them. For example, the majority of the time, Formaggio does the smallest, most bland prank towards Prosciutto just because it's so easy to wind him up. But if Prosciutto is especially annoying, he's going to switch his hair gel with super glue and ruin his day. The same thing goes with Ghiaccio. If he's being particularly annoying, Formaggio is going hard with his pranks regardless of the consequences. His top prank is using saran wrap on the toilet seat prank.

Pesci- Enioys pranks but not ways on the receiving end because they feel targeted at times. Prosciutto is his mentor, so he's being lectured about it being unprofessional and childish being involved in anything related to the holiday, but Pesci gets a laugh out of sometimes.

Illuso- Loves pranking but isn't always a good sport when he's on the receiving end. He just doesn't like feeling outsmarted and falling for a prank makes him feel like that. But it can be difficult to prank him mostly because of his ability and how he's always sneaking around and watching/spying on everyone minus Risotto.

Melone- Couldn't really care less about the holiday, pranks and all that. Sometimes he comes up with pranks for Formaggio to pull and he specifically likes to torment Prosciutto and Ghiaccio on that day but it's a one and done kind of thing for him. Some years he doesn't do anything. He's got a good sense of humor and brushes off most pranks with a chuckle and goes about his day.

Ghiaccio- Hates pranks, does not participate, and loathes being pranked. Depending on his mood, he'd either throw hands or just yell excessively. It doesn't stop some of his teammates from pranking him. However, he will laugh if he sees someone else on the receiving end. One prank he hates is when googly eyes are placed on random objects around the house; it drives him insane. Formaggio isn't afraid to prank him even if Ghiaccio can get physically.

Gelato- Loves pranking others and enjoys being pranked. He can be a bit mean about it but reserves it for people who have got on his bad side. His nicer pranks are for Sorbet, Risotto, Formaggio, and Pesci. He pulls pregnancy pranks on Sorbet every year which earns a good chuckle from his partner. With his blonde teammates, he's switched out their hair products with something that would dye their hair.

Sorbet- No strong feelings towards the holiday or the shenanigans surrounding it. He humors Gelato because it's Gelato, and he humors Risotto because he respects him. Prosciutto and Ghiaccio don't bother him. Pesci is too scared to prank anyone on the team. Melone won't prank anyone unless someone starts it all off first which is usually Formaggio. He ignores most of what Formaggio does too. He's never specifically targeted. Illuso is also a prankster bur usually focuses on those who give him an entertaining reaction which usually isn't him.

[silly-l1ttle-guy]

la squadra baby hcs

as a follow up to my fat ghiaccio baby headcanon, i've made headcanons of all the la squadra as little itty bitty babies

Risotto my emo king

very quiet baby

his eyes were funky like that ever since he popped out of the womb

his parents thought he was the son of the devil or some shit tho and gave him to his aunt to take care of

so basically his cousin (the one that died and made him emo) was like a sibling to him

his baby pictures are pretty cute, some are a bit demonic looking

most of them have his cousin included in them

Proscuitto

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY HE WAS AN UGLY ASS BABY

he was balding before he was even born istg

threw a tantrum every five seconds

he eventually mellowed out but god damn

do NOT breed this man his kids will turn out exactly like that

his baby pictures were kinda ok, but he looked ugly as fuck

Pesci

also ugly asf as a baby

cried ALL THE TIME

Proscuitto (who was 4 when he was born) kept complaining about Pesci's crying and started screaming about it

their parents r so tired lmao

they just want a happy family

his baby pictures were so fucking ugly

Illuso

ONE OF THE CUTEST BABIES YOU'LL EVER LAY YOUR EYES UPON

the downside is that he constantly threw tantrums and wouldn't stop crying unless he got what he wanted

he developed his stand when he was like 6 btw

anyway he was cute

and really fucking small for a baby wtf

his baby pictures are like a blessing, hand them to someone randomly and they'll be convinced that God gave them this divine gift

Ghiaccio

Loud as fuck

chubbiest baby ever

you could NOT hold him he was so heavy

cutest baby ever though (not as cute as Illuso was, but still cute

he was ALWAYS crying about something

his baby pictures were so cute, they could become their own religion

Formaggio

goofy ass baby

probably the happiest looking baby you'll ever see

probably really big as a baby, too

he was definitely a big boy

ALWAYS laughing at something

his baby pictures all look super happy

Melone

another small baby

he was so little you don't even KNOW

very peaceful baby

never cried, never made any fuss

he just liked to sleep

his baby pictures were a solid 10/10

Sorbet

ugly ass baby

i don't really lnow much about him or gelato

probably got dumped at an orphanage

idk he just looks like he didn't have parents

it's raining rn

no baby pictures

Gelato

the most generic baby ever

nothing special about him

the youngest out of 3 siblings

probably an accident

the least favourite child

he has like one or two baby pictures and that's about it

[raspberriesandadventures]

Can I request LaSquadra with a member that is really good at giving massages and offers to give them one? Whether it be hand, back, or a full body massage.

Hey! Sorry this one took some time to get out but I hope you enjoy it!

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Risotto:

Risotto holds more tension in his shoulders than anybody else in his group of assassins. His muscles are tight here, wound up and sore from too much stress.

If you offer a massage while he’s working, he won’t complain in the slightest even though he already knows he’ll be distracted.

His eyes will slip closed as you work the heavy responsibility from his arms; his head tilted to the side ever so slightly. He’s not sleeping, merely appreciating.

He won’t ask for massages, not wanting to ever badger you about something he feels is a gift more than a requirement, but he’s incredibly grateful when you offer.

Risotto will return the favour when you least expect it and he’s shockingly good at using his stand to get to the deepest parts of the muscle.

Formaggio:

Formaggio doesn’t appear to have much stress when you first run your hands over his shoulders, but he keeps most of his worry in his chest where it can’t be noticed.

He will immediately accept any offer of massages from you, dragging your hands onto his chest with a teasing comment and a flirtatious laugh.

He doesn’t bother to keep his hums of pleasure to himself and will constantly compliment you throughout the massage.

You’ll become his go to after every mission when he needs the small comforts that your affection provides. The fact that it comes with a relaxing chest rub is a benefit.

When you’re half-asleep on his chest is when Formaggio will offer a soothing massage to your shoulders with techniques he’s learned from you.

Illuso:

Illuso stores a great deal of muscle tension in his hips and pelvic floor which is quite hard to notice at first. When you mention it, expect teasing about how you noticed.

He’ll joke around a little when you offer a massage but your offer is binding and he will request it’s fulfilled immediately. No matter where you are.

Snarky comments will disappear as he relaxes beneath your skilled touch, hums of contentment sneaking out despite his best attempts to stifle them.

You’ve now become his personal masseuse and he’s going to make sure you know exactly when he’s in need of your touch.

Illuso won’t be the best at returning the favour through massages but he’ll be very happy to pay you back in other ways once you’ve finished.

Prosciutto:

Prosciutto doesn’t get as physically tense as the others do but he’s incredibly prone to tension headaches that he tries to ignore. It never works.

When you offer a massage, he’ll brush it off as unnecessary, although he won’t protest if you offer a second time. He doesn’t believe it’ll truly help for a while.

You’ll have to listen very closely to hear the soft sigh he makes when you manage to work a particularly tight knot from his muscles but it’s there.

He’s far too proud to ask you for a massage directly but he’s going to loudly make statements about his headaches in hope of prompting you into one.

It’ll take Prosciutto some time to work up to giving you a massage in return and when he does, it isn’t particularly good but he tries his hardest and that shows.

Pesci:

Pesci doesn’t suffer as much with tight muscles as the others because his stress tends to settle in his stomach instead, making him feel nauseous and ill.

If you offer a massage to help elevate the tension though, he’ll be beyond excited and gladly accept your offer with a faint blush and mild stammering.

He’ll murmur small thanks and words of appreciation throughout the massage and will give you fluttering kisses whenever he has the chance to.

He’ll certainly ask you for a massage when he gets a little tense, especially if it really helps him relax before jobs that would otherwise make him sick.

Pesci is nervous about offering you a massage in return but his gentle hands make him really brilliant at it.

Melone:

Melone gets very tense arms and hands mostly due to the work he does involving excessive use of his stand. You can easily suspect carpal tunnel in his wrists.

He’ll brush you off if you ask but you can take his arm and gently pull it to you to offer a massage while he’s working, one he won’t back away from.

He doesn’t give too many verbal clues that he’s enjoying your attention but his head will lull to the side and his eyes may flutter every once in a while.

He’s not likely to ask you for a massage in the future (mostly because they don’t often cross his mind) but he’ll gladly accept any offer.

Melone will return the favour to you unexpectedly, sweeping your arm across to his own and running his fingers along it as if tickling. He’s sweet with it, if not talented.

Ghiaccio:

Ghiaccio holds most of his stress in his lower back and he complains about this often. You can feel how tense these muscles are just by resting your palms there.

He won’t say no to a massage but he’s going to take a bit to settle down; he moves around too much for the process to go by smoothly.

You know it’s working when he goes quiet, words fading into nothing, and his eyes drift closed. He’s likely to fall asleep unless you change what you’re doing.

He’s not going to ask when he needs a massage and he’ll probably protest every single time you offer. He does want them; he just won’t admit to that.

Ghiaccio will demand he’s able to give you a massage in turn though you’ll definitely need to offer some advice to make him less rough.

Sorbet:

Sorbet sleeps away his stress when it gets overwhelming but it builds up in his neck and jaw more than anywhere else, making him feel constantly uncomfortable.

He’ll never reject the offer for a massage, it’s something he’s always wanted to indulge in but rarely had the time or trust in anybody beside Gelato.

He sighs deeply whenever you find a tender spot and leans his head toward you in a show of true trust. You can expect a soft kiss occasionally when you least expect it.

If you show yourself to be willing, he will quietly request a massage whenever the weight of his job gets a bit too heavy.

He’ll return the favour with gentle touches and smooth kisses as he acknowledges his lack of skill in finding the knots deep within your muscles.

Gelato:

Gelato is wound up like a spring almost all of the time; his every muscle is tight enough to make you wince in sympathy for him.

Getting him to sit down long enough to help relax his muscles in any significant way is difficult but even if you don’t manage it, he’ll appreciate the attempts.

He makes happy sounds when you offer him a massage, ones so cute that they’ll make your cheeks hurt from affectionately grinning at him.

If he feels particularly tense, he’ll definitely ask you in sweetened words if you would mind helping him out. He won’t expect it but it will make him extremely happy.

Gelato is surprisingly good at giving massages but they’ll have to happen in short bursts so he doesn’t get too distracted or bored.

[shineonyoucrazyyandere]

May I please for a scenario or headcanons for poly La Squadra including Sorlato with fem darling who knows about their interest towards her and her saying this:

"I know your interest in me, and I'm willing to return those feelings if you let me continue working in my doll shop and you guys work there. Also, I know your original paychecks sucks, so we all get what we want."

Cool, extra hands to help out? Seems like a good bargain, on the surface, there’s no take backs once you say “yes” and being Yandere they will test their dearests mettle to the limits.

Yandere! La Squadra w/ doll shop owner darling

So whether you repair, sell, make dolls, they’re all ready to help. Which depending on the options could be quite chaotic. There will be times they absolutely make you uncomfortable.

Formaggio probably makes comments of how this is rather a bit girly for him and he’d rather just hang around you, Illuso makes a jab at his statement in which these two have a little back and forth. They don’t really end up fighting but there’s a little intensity you can feel.

He then keeps coming up to you for the smallest of tasks or takes forever on certain bits that should be child’s play. It’s absolutely on purpose and almost impossible to get him off your back.

He also mentions you’re so sweet for paying them. That it’s a good thing that he’s there with the others, otherwise you could get taken advantage of. He’s only allowed to do that, and you can feel the irony of his statement thick in the air.

Sewing/clothing repair is interestingly enough right up Pesci’s alley. He’s worked with fishing line and other thin wires so learning isn’t hard when you teach him. Which you likely praise him for how quickly he’s picked things up.

If you compliment him he gets rather shaky, you swear you see some blush to his cheeks, and Prosciutto scolds him to at least try and keep his composure. His heart flys to the moon if you think his nervousness is cute.

Prosciutto is sort of beaming with pride, but at the same time insists having some time with you himself. There might be a lingering amount of jealousy he had for Pesci’s praise coming from you, but he puts that aside and decides he needs to step up his game.

He gets all professional with you and staring at your stitch work, he’ll immediately help you with any snag/mistake you might’ve made. There’s a point he might even guide your own hands if he sees the need.

He absolutely makes sure you can feel him beside you, and is memorizing every type of fabric you use, the measurements, and accessories. Is he much too close to one side of your ear? That’s a yes. He’ll even tell you it’s absolutely necessary, somehow batting off your concerns as if they’re excuses.

Sorbet and Gelato are an interesting pair that love keeping each other company whenever they can dip out. It feels like they’re unproductive in their work, but by the time you’re closing every little thing you asked them to do is done. It seems they’re rather great at keeping your dolls clean honestly. This does come at a personal cost, if no one else is cornering you Sorbet and Gelato will absolutely be there. Gelato seems to recommend certain dolls be rearranged in a certain way. A couple of them are plucked and the money is all in the register. Sorbet on the other hand seems to be great at seeing which ones have massive value if you received a donation or sale. Telling you them to lock them behind glass, the two of them seem to joke about locking you beind a cute glass display. The way they say it seemingly romantically doesn’t feel like a joke however.

Melone does very well with making sure all of your money is accounted for, somehow he knows all your expenses and other things he probably shouldn’t know about you.

If you’re working in the back and he comes into help with a little dusting or cleaning. He will make pretty suggestive comments about you, and suggests some of the outfits the dolls have would be adorable. If you distract him with something such as horoscopes, he immediately explains every little thing about each sign. How you two positively match and were meant to be. Can end up being rather overwhelming.

He does end up having good suggestions on what people seem to gravitate towards. Which of course he tells you this in great detail.

No matter what job he’s put in he almost always manages to be creepy someway, so you’re likely to have him somewhere out of sight out of mind. He doesn’t consider this a punishment in the slightest, and will certainly take advantage with flirting with you behind the scenes. Having him in front of customers is a big no-no however.

Ghiaccio is another handful of his own, he gets sets off pretty easily so you have to figure out a decent way for him to work on something. He does tend to grab your hand occasionally and gently pull you over to him without warning. (Except around risotto).

He does get very agitated if a customer tries to disrespect you. They may not ever come back if he gets their hands on them.

Insists on having you within his eyesight almost constantly, or at least having you around with whatever task you’re having him do.

You do have to coach him out of his jealousy rages or getting aggravated at another member occasionally. Usually you end up making him some type of tea, he indeed relishes this.

Illuso is likely to be the best at being at the front (aside from yourself or prosciutto). He rather enjoys that you don’t mind him “hogging” the position. It gives him an easy way to be almost constantly in your presence.

He’s thorough on whatever you task him with, he wouldn’t be an assassin if he wasn’t capable after all. He’s so thorough he takes advantage and insists to help you himself. Does his best to make you flustered at any given point in the day.

He definitely stalks you and will chillingly mention a show you liked on tv the night before. Unironically engaging in said show’s contents, all while reveling in your conflicting expressions. He’ll fluster you even more if given the chance, up to the point he’s pulled away to do something else.

Risotto is his another enigma with his obsessiveness, he insists on doing everything during closing hours. Taking inventory/stocking, some of your business side paperwork is done even though you didn’t ask him to. He seems normal on the outside but there’s this aura about him that inwardly sets you off. Like he never wants you to leave his sight.

Any troublesome things occurring outside your business (and your home if it’s not right by) cease. He absolutely follows you home every night and early morning when possible. You’ll never see him however, he makes sure of that. He keeps his team in line when need be, but ironically that means you as well.

He wants you comfortable but he’s not afraid of going right to the edge of insanity to keep you around. He’ll certainly coordinate with other members of the team. He considers your “yes” a contract of approval and will do what he sees fit to keep you around. If that means going to the lengths of threatening others so be it. But he and the others already agreed upon this regardless of how you felt about them.

There are dozens of times he just seems to pop out of nowhere on you. He doesn’t seem to have issue with this in the slightest, if you need your hand held from nearly having a heart attack he’s there to oblige.

Just before he goes out on a mission, he always leaves a favorite food of yours (packaged preferably) on your desk.

If you wonder how he got in without giving him with a key, he likely used Metallica to figure out the shape of the keyhole of your locks.

[nicherayyy]

Okay, so reading through your La Squadra and Child/teenager reader posts, I just suddenly had the thought. How do you think they’d react if they were dating Trish or Giorno? (Another teen who’s the same age as them) (no idea if there’s a timeline or somethingh

I decided to make it with Giorno bc I think the fact that reader would date the literal La Squadra’s boss is   hilarious, maybe later I’ll do the same thing with Trish, just let me know if you’d like it <3

La Squadra x Teen!Reader who’s dating Giorno

Family fluff, everyone lives nobody dies, dating

Lately you’ve become too thoughtful, sometimes without even paying attention to anything. 

Sometimes you would sneak out of the house without telling anyone, of course, the whole La Squadra would be mad at you about it. You may consider yourself as “all grown up” but damn, you’ll always be a baby for them. So of course your behaviour made them worried. You never were like that. Is something happening with you? Are you in danger?

“What the hell is wrong with you?”, Ghiaccio snapped at you one morning, just about the moment when you were leaving.

“I literally have no idea what you’re talking about”, you replied calmly, putting on your jacket.

“No, you are absolutely aware about what Ghiaccio means”, Prosciutto intervened, looking at you sternly. The man had no idea what was your deal. Partly he thought it was his fault. Did he upset you? Why won’t you even talk with him as much as you used to. He may look serious, but damn he cared about you. After all these years you’re like his own flesh and blood. 

You sighed dreamingly “Nothing is wrong with me, I’ll see you at the dinner”, with that you closed the door. 

The whole room was speechless until Melone quietly giggled. 

“What’s so funny?”, Ghiaccio muttered. 

“Well, it looks like I was right”, Melone replies without taking his eyes off his laptop “Di Molto!”

“Melone, specify please”, Risotto joined the conversation, actually intrigued what could you hide from highly skilled assassins. 

“It looks like our dear child are secretly dating someone”, Melone exclaimed excitedly.

“What do you mean dating?”, Illuso’s jaw dropped, he expected anything, anything but that. 

“It’s normal for teenagers to date someone, as long as they use protec-“

“I don’t want to hear this nonsense, Melone” Risotto interrupted “Anyway, if that’s true, we need to ask ourselves”. Risotto’s upset with you now. If you’re really seeing someone, why would you hide it from them? 

The door opened again, interrupting the whole conversation. 

“Forgot the keys”, you said, trying not to look at your family. 

“We know”, Formaggio said, it looked like he was burning a hole in your back “Sit down, tell us about this date of yours”

You shivered, sooner or later they would have found out, but you were hoping that it would happen as much later as possible. You didn’t want to have this conversation with them. 

You sat down between Prosciutto and Illuso, taking as much air in your lungs as possible, after a few seconds you exclaimed “Giorno Giovanna”

..What?

“I’m dating Giorno Giovanna”, you exclaimed. Everyone couldn’t believe their ears. What did you just said? You’re dating.. their boss? Maybe they heard something wrong? Maybe it’s just a joke? But you looked too serious for this to be joke. 

The meetings with the boss were awkward after that conversation, especially for Risotto. He has no idea what to do. Of course, he’s happy for you, but damn. On the one hand Giorno’s his boss, but on the other hand he’s your boyfriend. It’s too complicated. But he still respects your decision. As long as the boy won’t hurt your feelings, but if that happen.. well, we already know what would happen.

Pros, oh dear man Pros. He doesn’t care if it’s his boss or not. He’s not even afraid of him. When it comes to you, his instinct for self-preservation disappears instantly. So yeah, he definitely would stand behind Giorno like this.

Also supportive, but will give you a long lecture about dating stuff. And of course he still will be mad at you for a few day because you were silent about such stuff.

“Does that mean that we would be paid more?”. Formaggio’s pretty chill. And he’s 100% you’ll be fine with Giorno, I mean, the dude has a lot of security and stuff. Sometimes would ask you about your dating life. 

Illuso needs no know EVERYTHING. Sometimes will help you to get ready for dates, but it’s only if he’s in a good mood. “So he bought you this as a gift? Hmph, he could do better”, would review all your gifts. Because you deserve only the best and if Giorno can’t give that for you, well, too bad.

Pesci is just happy for you. He remembers you so small and carefree. And now you’re young adult, now dating. He’s proud of you. But sometimes it would hard for him to realise that you’re growing up. Maybe you’ll want to have your own family. And that means that you would want to move out, oh wait, he’s crying.

Remember that gift stuff? Ghiaccio would want to buy something better for you. He’s pretty competitive. “Oh, that golden bracelet that he got you.. Ha, I got you two golden bracelets”. You continue to tell him that this stupid competition is not necessary, but he just not listens. So yeah, get ready for a lot of gifts from him. 

Melone’s excited to see your bright future. He knew that you’re dating from the beginning after all. If something bothers you, you always could tell him. “Ah, young love. Have you had your first kiss yet?”. Of course he would look through his laptop if you and Giorno are a true match.