#forihavesinned

[jpat82]

ForI Have Sinned

Chapter 13

     'You gave part of your essence, and allowed him back to earth.'

'He has to much, and his heart is pure, he must fight if we will not!' She shouted back.

'You have been hereby condemned!' Plunging further down, falling, pain straight through back. 'Have your mortal.'

    I shook my head as I sat in the garden, suddenly looking around, surrounded by the roses and other pretty bright color flowers. My heart racing in my chest, I had been in the main part of the church, Father Barnes had been looking through his bible. I looked upward, a small bird tweeted in the trees above me.

    It hopped from branch to branch, singing its song, it's tiny head flitting back and forth as it moved. Then it unfurled it's wings and jumped from the branch before flying off, high up its body becoming a black dot on a bright blue sky. Condemned. Mortal. Your kind. So far from home. Little bird. Sparrow. A jumbled mess of thoughts, pain and light, falling.

I turned and bumped into Father Barnes, my eyes met his.

"You okay?" He asked, corn washing across his face. "You just kind of wandered off while I was talking to you."

"I have.." I looked up to him, the child, the one from so long ago. "Been condemned?"

"Sparrow, you have not been condemned. Why would you think that?" He asked, sliding his hand up my arm.

My heart began to beat wildly in my chest, fear and pain flooded through me. I could feel a tear slip down my cheek as I took a step back my eyes trained to the ground. The child, the brown hair, bright blue eyes begging to live. It wasn't a dream, I knew him, I gave him.. life, gave him the ability to see the damned. My fingers tremble as my legs went out, allowing me to slowly sink to my knees. The priest catching me under my arms.

"Sparrow!" His voice sounded fade, the edges of my vision began to darken. He was the child I saved, he was the reason for my fall.

~~~

Bucky say on the edge of his cot, his eyes trained on her, hands pressed together, finger tips to his lips. He never thought he'd ever worry so much about another person as he did her, and that made him worry further. The feelings stirring inside him were at war with his mind.

Suddenly he stood and walked over to his desk, eyes focused on the black book, the one he had devoted much of his life to. The one he tried to follow that now made him wonder what he was doing. He sighed heavily, his mind in a whirlwind, he emotions toying with him.

"Bucky." Sparrows voice lifted from behind him. He looked over his should at her, the way she looked him, something had changed, her demeanor. She seemed to be different and the same all at once.

"Sparrow." He breathed, relief washing through him. She stood from the cot and walked to him, her hand sliding up his arm, leaving a trailing warmth in its place as she too looked down at the book.

"Many years ago a boy came to me, and I was to bring him to the light. A boy with heart so pure and soul aching to do good, his face stained with tears and his back stained in crimson from the wound on his head." She spoke, her voice confident and sure, Bucky could feel his brows furrow at her as she talked. "I remember now. Father, you must forgive me, for I have sinned, I gave a part of myself to a mortal boy and sent him home, with the promise he would do good in this world."

"Sparrow.." He whispered, watching her as she slowly turned her head toward him.

"And he did, even when the weight of the world was crushing down on him, he did good. Even though he thinks he has lost his faith, he has done good." She spoke directly to him, eyes slowly turning colors before him, white slowly replacing the color he had become so use to seeing. "I watched from above, watched him as he grew and kept him off the radar of my kind. He was fighting the fight that we had been told to stay away from, he grew into a man, a man I found myself proud of, one I had fallen for. They found out though."

He stood in disbelief, but slowly everything started to click. The feeling of demons, seeing them, the scars that lined her back. Her not knowing so many human responses, it all started to become crystal clear to him.

"I was condemned to earth, to live a mortal life, my grace ripped from me as I was thrown and cast out." She continued, her eyes slowly began to change back to those he had always seen. "I hurtle to earth, in pain, so much pain. They had ripped my memories from me, but they couldn't take my abilities fully from me, and I could still see the shadow demons, and the others. When I ran, I ended up running to the part of me I gave to the child. I ran to you."

He was left standing speechless, she was the reason he had lived all those years ago. An angel had been watching over him just as his mother had said. And because of him she had lost everything, lost her place in heaven, lost her grace, she was human just like he was.

"I'm so sorry Sparrow." He said, guilt coursing through him.

"Don't be, cause I'm certainly not." She replied, her eyes still lingering on his, determination set in them. "Whether or not I will ever go home I made the right choice that day. I would never change it, you deserved to live and you kept your promise to me."

"But.. I don't feel like I have, I have sinned as well, my mind isn't pure of thought." He stumbles through trying to find the right words. "Sparrow, how can I be a man of god if I've fallen in love with someone and think of them the way I have."

"Bucky, being a man of god and doing good don't have to fall in line. You can still do the good you want without being a priest." She replied with a smile. "But, you are right, we have work to do."

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[matteohudson]

Now Listening: John 5 - Sinner. #john5 #john5sinner #sinner #welcometotheisland #forihavesinned #euphoria #quepasa #howhighthemoon #creepshow #landofthemisfittoys #crazylittlethingcalledlove #thisishowidoit #georgiaonmymind #2021 #2021album #heavymetal #alternativemetal #instrumentalrock #industrialmetal #nowlistening #nowplaying https://www.instagram.com/p/CV2VOehIHgp/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sinnner-mass]

#FridayVibes See y’all Sunday afternoon! 😈🏴‍☠️ _______________________________________ #WhereTheHellsBob #PartyLikeASinner #AfternoonMass #SinnerSpecial #SundayGunday #SunsOutGunsOut #SuckItSunday #ForgiveMeFather #ForIHaveSinned #JoinTheMass #WelcomeToTheMass #Sinners #SinnersMass #SinnerMass #CenterMass @urbandictionary (at San Antonio, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5KzLthA97y/?igshid=1szp7tov68w8i

[brittcess]

Forgive me father. #NaughtyNun

#forihavesinned #sin #bad

[rasilliantreactions-blog]

On this day, November 21, 2017, I relinquish my subscription and membership to #BlackTwitter. The Internet simply has noooooo chill. #SMH #notcool #iholleredtho😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 #ForgivemeJesus #ForIhavesinned

[arysamerica]

#forgivemefather #forihavesinned #MyNiece #TheEldest #SaidSo #ArysAmerica #heretocreate #healthhumorhonesty #originalcontent @arysamerica @foodnetwork @traderjoesinsider #cauliflowerpizza

[ao3feed-idolproducer]

Handling (and loving) An Omega

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2Rx902g

by forIhaveSinned (RiyaMaknae17)

There’s a problem with every pack/group that are created through reality shows. Since the members can not be controlled, the dynamics within the group can be unbalanced.

For example, Nine Percent; one beta, three un-gendered pups, four alphas, and a non.

Too many alphas, no omega. And a... non?

That non was Zhu Zhengting. Someone who has no second-gender, no scent, no bond, no nothing.

That was, until he discovers that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t a non afterall.

Words: 2084, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of 9% ABO

Fandoms: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, You Zhangjing, Lin Yanjun, Cai Xukun, Wang Ziyi, Wang Linkai | Xiao Gui, Chen Linong, Fan Chengcheng, Huang Minghao | Justin

Relationships: Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung/Everyone, Cai Xukun/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, Wang Ziyi/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, Lin Yanjun/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, Wang Linkai | Xiao Gui/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, Chen Linong/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, You Zhangjing/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, Fan Chengcheng/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung, Huang Minghao | Justin/Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung

Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Smut, Fluff, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Omega Zhu Zhengting | Jung Jung

read it on the AO3 at http://bit.ly/2Rx902g

[mcnieves]

 A scene from Shades of Blue Season 1 Episode 12 “For I Have Sinned” with  Jennifer Lopez as Detective Harlee Santos and Ray Liotta as Lieutenant Matt Wozniak. 

[toastofthetown-babe]

I couldn't attend church today, so I'm confessing to my followers. #forgivemefather #forihavesinned (at sunday funday)

[jpat82]

For I Have Sinned

Chapter 10

     "What's the matter? Something seems to be on your mind." He asked, sitting down on the edge of the cot, concerned washed over his face. I shifted uncomfortably, my eyes roaming the dimly lit walls. I hate the night, too many shadows, not enough light.

"I just can't seem to be able to sleep, every time I close my eyes, I see them. The demons, and people in white, I hear screaming." I admitted pulling my knees tighter to my chest, looking down at my bare feet. These were things I kept from the people at the hospital, knowing they would tell me it was a delusion. I knew they weren't, cause I had seen them before and the fear I felt was real. "What did you dream about Father?"

"I had a dream I was intimate with a woman, sexually intimate, and I shouldn't have thoughts like that." He replied, looking down at his own hands. I sensed a nervousness in him when he spoke, the way he toyed with his pant leg.

"What do you mean by sexually intimate?" I asked him, allowing my knees to fall, adjusting to get more comfortable. Maybe listening to him would help me, maybe it would distract my mind enough to get the sleep I desired.

"Uh, well, when two people are attracted to each other preferably married, they engage in sexual relationships." He explained, fidgeting with his hands as his face began to pinken.

"I'm afraid I still don't understand. I assume it's something most normal people do though." I responded, realizing that there was still much I didn't know. The overwhelming feeling of hopelessness came over me. "Why is there so much wrong with me?"

"Sparrow, there is nothing wrong with you." He replied, I looked up at him. Father Barnes had a soft smile on his face, it was reassuring to me in a way I wasn't used to. "You and I are physically different, I'm sure you've noticed. Men are build different then a woman, especially down there." He explained while gesturing towards his crotch. "When two people become sexual engage it involves those body parts. And for me, I can't cause it's a sin."

"You can't become sexually engaged because it's a sin." I repeated back to him, he nodded slowly. "May I ask why it is sin?"

"Sex it's isn't a sin in itself when you're in a relationship. I made a vow to god of celibacy." He explained further, his blue eyes meeting mine. "You should try and get some rest, I have things around the church to attend to. I'll wake you for breakfast."

Father Barnes stood from my cot, pulling the covers back. I nestled back down, curling to my side and he gently placed the blanket over my body. He left the lamp on when he left the room. I laid there trying to think of anything but the things from my dreams. I thought about Father Barnes instead, he had been so nice to me since I had come, which was a stark difference from the people at the hospital.

They poked, and prodded, they put needles into my back all while saying they were doing good. And I'm sure they meant well, but when the shadow creatures came they refused to listen they would turn all the lights off at night, and that's when I heard the whispers. Hundreds if not thousands of them chorusing around my body, deafening everything else in the room. I would scream and scream till I was hoarse, and throat felt raw and bleeding, then day would break and creatures would be gone.

But with him, I didn't need to worry, he scared them away, he fought the demons. The ones that were like the one that crawled it's way through the vent, licking at the air. Surely he would keep me safe, all I had to do was stay here with him, in the church.

My eyes slowly drifted shut, my body falling deep in slumber.

~~~

It was still dark as Bucky traveled through the church, Truth was is he didn't actually have much to do. Most of it could wait till morning, but he had to try and get her off his mind. He hadn't had a wet dream in years, and never one that intense.

The dream had shaken him, shaken his beliefs. And if he didn't watch himself he could easily see himself plummet further and further away from one of his vows. He knelt before the cross and stared up, the wood lit from below, casting a large shadow of it on the wall behind him.

"Shadow creatures?" He whispered to himself out loud, Bucky wondered if they were demonic entities why he was unable to see them.

He had seen a great many of demons in his life, many of them looked the same. The same slick skin that was slimy and charred at the same time, the skull always concaved. Long jagged teeth, with thin serpent like tongues. He had never seen shadow creatures or demons made of bugs, nor had he ever seen the beast that she had described. He didn't doubt they existed, he just wondered why he couldn't or had yet to see them.

Then Bucky thought about the scars that ran down her back, thick angry welts on either side of Sparrow's spine. Surely when they had happened it had to hurt like hell, and they looked reasonably fresh but yet she didn't seem to notice when his palm was pressed against them. He wished he had answers but everything involving Sparrow always led to more questions then answers.

He understood that the odds are the reason both of them could see the demons was because they had both been graced by death. He had died on the operating table when they tried to fix the break in the back of his skull, and they had brought him back. And from the way Sparrow had described it, she too had died only to be brought back.

She was a conundrum, everything about her was a seemingly never ending question. Bucky lowered his eyes from the cross, he sighed heavily.

~~

The child, a mop of dark hair, stood, surrounded in brilliant white. His bottom lip trembled as most boys do when presented. He was so young, and had so much good in him. Crystal blue eyes, tears welling up in them.

Crimson coated his shoulders stemming from the back of his head, his eyes looking around in fear. His left arm hung loosely, swaying back and forth, seemingly forgotten about.

"No." He whispered, pain laced his word as alone tear snaked down his cheek. "Please, I'll be good, just let me go back. My ma and sisters, they need me, who will look after them. Please don't take me, sending me back."

I will, but only if you make me one promise.

"Who's talking." He turned, the massive split on his head exposed and raw.

Can you make me this promise James?

"Yes, Ma'am." He replied, wiping another stray tear that streaked down his face.

I'll give you a gift, but you have to use it. It will help people, protect people, and you'll do good in this world. The things you'll see, no others can. You, James, are the only human that will ever be able to see them, and you must rid the world of them. I have big plans for you, you'll be the warrior you dream of being but you must not let it get to your head. Promise me.

"I'll do it, I promise."

Okay then, till we meet again, James.

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Bucky Tag-

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[stizzlestakz]

#LordForgiveMe #ForIHaveSinned #LifeStyle❗️❗️❗️❗️❗️

[bxndsnplants]

God bless

[grackkle]

I freed him padre, what have I done

[callme-aoife]

Found all my pairs of glovelettes from like 2 years ago. Ahhh my I wanna be goth phase :< pls kill me #glovelettes #lordforgiveme #forihavesinned

[lithping-litha-blog]

Miley Cyrus up in this b. #ithappened #sorryimnotsorry #forgivemefather #forIhavesinned

[mcnieves]

Shades of Blue Season 1 Episode 12

“For I Have Sinned” (SPOILER ALERT) Who would have known about the money and had their whereabouts, especially after the heist was botched by Loman? And who would have taken the time to check Harlee’s pulse? If Donnie was the culprit, as Wozniak kept insisting, then wouldn’t he had checked on Woz over Harlee?For a while, that one detail had me wondering if Miguel had somehow stolen the money. I even wondered if Stahl could be dirty because who else would care if Harlee was dead or alive?  I never for a second expected that Harlee had planned the entire thing with her ex-training officer. That revelation had me totally floored. The other move that had me in awe was Harlee’s quick thinking when Loman wandered up on the heist. She effortlessly spun that story about Donnie threatening to take down Loman for the shooting if the team didn’t help him rob the armored car. Heck, I almost believed her, and I knew it was a lie.  At least Harlee's story helped explain Loman’s sudden and intense loyalty to the team because I agreed with Wozniak when he told Harlee “reciprocity has its limits.”  But it made a lot more sense that Loman lied to the FBI because he believed he was saving himself and the team that was so loyal to him that they’d risk their lives and careers.  Was the phone call to his Captain him deciding to turn himself and everyone else in, or had he just decided to take that transfer to homicide?  Meanwhile, Wozniak shined throughout this episode. Despite everything having gone horribly wrong, he still had the best quips, such as telling Linkletter, “We’re both fine, thanks,” when the man clearly didn’t give a damn. And later telling his priest he couldn’t make a full confession yet because he had a couple more people to hurt.  The most powerful moments were at the end with Wozniak and Harlee. The simple closeups on their faces were intimate and moving. Woz spoke about his daughter who had committed suicide and how it led him here, while Harlee tried to explain in a video message to Cristina how she got to this place.  It was the same recording we saw her make in the first episode and it was all the more compelling now that we knew the details behind the confession. Now that Harlee has the $12 million, what’s next? Since there will be a Shades of Blue season 2, I’d guess she won’t run off to some island without extradition. Can she somehow still save her team? Could she end up with the money and a new start but still lose her daughter to Miguel?With all of the twists and turns, I truly have no idea how this will end.