#forgot to mention this last time but pls let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list for my first read of the tlc series

[caliburn-the-sword]

cress thoughts and reactions

this was originally gonna be just one post for the first 7ish chapters but i have SO many thoughts as i tend to at the start of books, compared to the end where i want to race through the action and not write down every reaction, so i ended up having to split this in two. basically what i was reading during class time at school (no one tell my teachers) and then what i read when i got home to procrastinate homework lmao

HOLY SHIT SHE'S ALREADY MEETING THE GANG WHAT i thought it would take AT LEAST 5 more chapters

FSKDFSDKUHCNS she is so delulu and obsessed with thorne it's giving me second hand embarrassment i LOVE it. girlypop thinks she's in a romance novel thinking he's gonna have instalove

"Is that all hair?" coming from mr flirts with everything that moves, that's HILARIOUS. REJECTION. poor cress but unfortunately i find her misery hilarious

damn thorne is NOT holding back in his description of her hair LMAO. he fucking killed her no mercy. NOW i feel bad

"wing nut" scarlet tf kind of insult IS THAT. still love it. this is being integrated into my vocab as we speak

cress is hiding under a desk she's so socially awkward (just like me fr)

personally just from where we're starting i actually hope that it's just a silly schoolgirl crush that cress gets over and she gets to have real experiences, meet a whole bunch of people, and that she ends up being friends with thorne. it would be nice to not have romance as the answer for EVERY single character

i already have ALL the respect and admiration for priya. i need to stop getting attached to random side characters but i can't help loving her already. she was introduced spectacularly well

"Restraining a melodramatic sigh (…) He knew he was being childish" no actually?? kai is being entirely reasonable here. he's literally about to be in a child marriage and gonna be assassinated and his dad is dead and he's handing his country over and then there is gonna be a world war. he has every right to be upset

if no one knows who cinder's father is then we're DEFO gonna get a reveal. especially because we already know the lunars are non monogamous then it could be ANYONE

again i LOVE the dramatic irony of kai thinking cinder's trying to find princess selene. i mean i guess in a sense that WAS what cinder was trying to do

OMG ERLAND CHAPTER. I RECKON WE'VE GOT A REVEAL INCOMING (note: i was right and i'm a genius)

"ballyhoo" ERLAND I LOVE YOU. silly old man

I FUCKING KNEW IT THAT CRESS WAS ERLAND'S DAUGHTER - but WHY was she kept alive without his knowledge?? i don't need sleep i need ANSWERS

also makes sense that erland was behind the wolf genetic engineering thing which also links him to wolf

love the detail of erland glamouring himself to be taller. so real

SYBIL'S CHEEKBONES MADE OUT OF PIPES FKSHFSDKH all of erland's inner monologue is literally so humorous. slayed

but is letumosis mutating?? or have levana's people started engineering it for biological warfare to make kai more likely to go forward with the marriage in want of a cure?? usually i'd agree that the disease can mutate but the timing is just extremely suspicious, cause otherwise the best thing in writing would have been for peony to catch the mutated strain to give higher stakes to cinder

the opera singing shower scene - cress is such a DRAMA QUEEN and i LOVE her

i'll say this once and i'll say it again: scarlet is such a girls girl. looking out for poor cress and they haven't even met in person yet + she doesn't even know if it's a trap. i adore scarlet

knowing what i know about thorne now part of me reckons that the big softie just wants to use the reward money for philanthropy

iko is a ~material girl~

"young, semi-cute ones" remembering that thorne is 20, HOW old is cress. uh oh. ew. remembering cinder's age makes it a double uh oh since she and cress should be about the same age. disappointed because the rest of their interactions were totally chill and he didn't seem to have any real interest

i love how thorne is completely unable to take sybil seriously but also i'm freaking out like he's so unprepared cause he thinks the others are coming to help. he's fucked

holy shit the sat is crashing. talk about thorne "falling out of the tower" when he tried to rescue the princess

I LOVE THAT SCARLET WAS WATCHING HIM DOCK JUST LIKE HE WISHED FSKHFSDHK

wolf is an idiot WHY would he come down istg if he gets controlled i'm gonna smash my head in (note: he got controlled. since i need my braincells for homework i will make a raincheck on smashing my head in)

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees

[pretty-little-mind33]

James Potter x fem!reader

Summary: You love James but he loves Lily. It's simple, until it isn't so simple anymore.

Genre: Angst (happy ending)

Warnings: James x Lily mentioned, "unrequited" love, idiots in love, swearing, violence, harassment, crying, arguments, protective!james, jealous!james, stupid!james, Lily isn't a villain��pls i love her!

JAMES POTTER MASTERLIST

You know two things for certain—

You're head over heels in love with James. 

He's head over heels in love with Lily.  

In the beginning, you saw the entire situation as some messy game of cat & mouse, and you'd been determined to win. You had foolishly been convinced Lily didn't like James in any way. It never seemed like she had any interest in him. 

And James? Well, James adored your attention. It very clearly sparked his already enormous ego, and you couldn't deny you liked the thrill of him liking your shameless flirting. 

It was fun and harmless while it lasted and it seemed like there was a mutual understanding to both pretend you didn't notice the stolen looks, or shy smiles, the feel of his hand brushing yours in the hallway, the small written notes in class, or the letters he'd sent over the summer…and of course the present he'd left you for your 17th birthday; a small, necklace with expensive tiny rubies. 

It felt surreal. 

It was surreal because the moment you find out James has been dating Lily since Christmas break you feel sick. "Lily? Lily Evans?" You ask your friends, almost choking on your scrambled eggs. 

"Yeah. Apparently, Marls said that Lily kissed James in the Common Room after his practice yesterday," Mary says, immersed in the gossip, "Either way, I heard from Sirius Black that they've been inseparable ever since New Year. He says it's rather annoying."

You hear her muffle a yelp as Pandora kicks her shin from underneath the table. "Oh, I forgot you like James, Y/n," Mary says and sends you a sympathetic smile. 

You feel crushed inside but you force a smile, "Me? Oh, please. I can find so much better than Potter. He was just a silly crush," you swat your hand in the air, "I'm already over him," you say.

Pandora doesn't look like she believes you but she doesn't say anything. Instead, she and Mary let you sit in silence and pretend not to know you're unintentionally staring at James and his friends from across the dining hall. 

James is laughing and your chest tightens. He seems over the moon as he has his arm around Lily's shoulder and she looks at him with a look you've never seen her wear. She actually looks like she's enjoying his jokes now. 

You can't help yourself as you start to compare yourself to Lily. You chew on your nails as you start to remember every insecurity you've ever had and you feel miserable.

You aren't really supposed to feel miserable, you reason, deep down you knew James wasn't yours. He was always hers. He was just waiting for her to claim him and you were a silly distraction.

You pry your eyes away from James and Lily when he stands up. You think he sees you for a moment because you can feel his stare. However, when you lift your head and make eye contact for a moment. James's expression is unreadable and he's the first to turn his head. He grins and continues his conversation with Lily as you're frozen in time.

"Y/n?" Mary calls your name and time resumes.

"Yeah?" you whisper, composing yourself and crossing your arms on the table. 

"Here," she hands you a crumpled-up note and points behind her, "It's from Danny."

You take the note from Mary and tilt your head to see Danny Dulac staring at you from the Slytherin table. Danny Dulac is the Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team. He's tall, extremely smart, and has the silkiest blond hair. 

Danny sends you a smile and motions toward the paper in your hand which reads:

~I heard Potter is out of the picture now. Does this mean you're free for a Butterbeer on Saturday?~

You think it's a joke but when you look up, Danny looks dead serious. Mary leans over and when she sees the note over your shoulder, she exclaims, "Oh my Merlin, Danny just asked you out!" she pushes on your shoulder excitedly and you shush her. 

You stare at the cursive and your mind races. You spent so many years liking James that it had never even crossed your mind that you could like other boys, or that they could like you. 

"Well? Answer him," Pandora insists and makes a little circle motion with her hand. 

Once you find a quill from inside your book-bag, you reply with a small, enthusiastic, 

~Yes!~

* * *

Over the week leading up to Saturday, you try to pretend James and Lily don't exist. 

It's much easier than you imagined because you have Danny's to pay attention to now. Turns out Danny Dulac is a gentleman who carries your books in the hallway and compliments you whenever he has the chance. 

You don't feel the loss you felt when you found out James and Lily kissed—at least not when James isn't staring at you from afar. You knew James wasn't that fond of Danny—being the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and all—but ever since Danny has been hanging around you it seems like James can't stand the guy. 

It's confusing, especially because James hasn't made any attempts to talk to you since his relationship with Lily became public. 

You sit in Potions next to Marlene when Remus Lupin comes up to you. "Y/n?" he asks in a quiet voice and you look up at him, "It's from James," he shows you the note in his hand and you stare at it like it's one of James's stupid pranks. 

You thank Remus and open it anyway, 

~Meet me at Hogsmeade on Saturday?~

Without a word to Remus, you scribble an answer, 

~I have a date~

You fold the torn parchment and hand it to Remus. You watch him walk back to James and Sirius. When James sees you've actually written him a response, his eyes sparkle and he hides a smile. However, his smile disappears once he reads the contents and you’ve never seen him so perturbed. 

He starts to scribble on the paper and, with his eyes focused on you, hands it to Remus. 

Remus shakes his head adamantly so James then tries to hand it to Sirius, who also shakes his head. James's last option is Peter but the poor boy has fallen asleep on his Potions book. 

You smile. Your attention is pulled from them when you see Danny next to you.

"Hi," he smiles.

"Hi," you answer and the last thing that could possibly be on your mind is James Potter. 

* * *

You pull at the hem of your dress and adjust your jumper nervously. Danny has just made the same joke he made a few hours earlier and you really try and force out another chuckle. 

"You ok? You look a little warm," Danny says foam from the beer lays across his upper lip.

You blink. You like him, you try to convince yourself, he's smart and super handsome and he carries your books for Merlin's sake— 

"I'm completely fine, continue?" you smile sweetly and lean in towards him from across the table. You want to look interested.

Danny smirks and looks around. "Wanna go somewhere quieter?" 

No, you want to say. You won't want to go anywhere with him because that means you have to listen to him some more and he's oh so boring.

Only you don't say no, you say, "Sure," and allow him to take your hand.

Once you've found a small, empty corner of The Three Broomsticks, Danny pushes you to the wall. His hand is resting near your forehead and he leans in as if he wants to kiss you. You panic and push him away, "Oh I'm super warm actually. One second," You turn and your hands tremble as you pull your jumper over your head and let it slide down your arms. 

Danny looks a little annoyed when you turn back around. His eyes lower and he frowns, "Pretty' necklace. Who's it from?" he points out and you look down. 

James's necklace.

"Oh. A friend," you say dismissively and rush to unclip it as it falls into your hands.

"A friend huh?" Danny crosses his arms, "Is it from Potter?"

You feel your cheeks become warm. Why would he ask that? You aren't sure what expression you're making but it cannot be a normal one.

"No!" you say and Danny yanks the necklace from your hands. Your heart sinks as you try to take it back instantly.

Danny holds it away from you, making you feel small, "You can't keep this." 

"Why not? It's mine," your lip wobbles.

"Because it's from him and he has a girl. It's completely inappropriate." 

You lower your arm and your heart hurts. Is Danny right? Maybe you have thrown away the necklace as soon as you found out about James and Lily? Why are you still wearing it? 

"Plus, if you want to be my girl you'll throw away this dirty necklace," Danny snarls as he runs his fingers along the silver chain. You freeze. 

"What?" you can't believe he just said that. 

"What?" Danny counters. He seems confused at your sudden shift in tone. 

"I am not your girl. I don't want to be your girl."

"Bullshit, Y/n," Danny rolls his eyes and stuffs your necklace into his robe. He walks closer, this time menacingly, and you feel stuck. Your hands press against the wall and you look at him. Your eyes brim with tears, mostly in hopes he'll leave you alone when he sees them. Danny just raises his hand and harshly brushes them away with his thumb, "You should feel lucky someone like me even likes you," he smirks. 

You feel like someone just punched you in the gut and you stutter, "Get away from me."

"No," Danny says and leans in. Only, he's suddenly ripped from in front of you and you inhale, surprised. You blink as Danny stumbles when someone seizes his collar. You feel someone else's hand on your shoulder and you turn to look at them. 

"Are you okay?" Kind, considerate, Lily Evans whispers, concerned at your tears.

"What the fuck?!" You hear a loud crack as Danny groans in pain. You look towards the sound and see James Potter take Danny's collar again, his knuckles already stained a little crimson. James looks furious. 

"Did you hurt her?" he hisses and shakes Danny like it's nothing.

Lily soothes you by rubbing your shoulders and she calls James's name as a warning.

"Hurt her? We're on a date, Potter. She wanted it," Danny snarls and you wince. You didn't want it. James looks at you and Lily from the corner of his eye and his heart breaks when he sees your expression.

"Fucking nutter!" James exclaims and punches Danny in the stomach. This time, Danny doesn't just take the hit. Instead, he tackles James and they trip onto the ground. Lily screams at her boyfriend and you scream Danny's name. 

You try to pull Danny away from James but it's only when you hear a loud crack as Danny lands on his left thigh that he pauses. You gasp, covering your mouth with your hands, which makes James pause and he looks confused as Danny pulls out your necklace from inside his robe. The small rubies have shattered and when Danny opens his hand, the chain and the shards drop onto the ground. 

He stands and taunts, "Some gift, huh Potter?" James's expression falls. 

 You crouch down, scooping the, now completely ruined, necklace into your palms. You try to hold in your tears and the world around you turns silent as you look at your present. "Shut it," You hear Lily snap at Danny and she doesn't hesitate to help you stand. Her arm holds yours and she looks almost as furious as James. 

"She's crying because of you, you prat! Does that make you feel good about yourself, huh?" James points out with frustration.

You know he means well, but it doesn't help that he basically announced to the entirety of The Three Broomsticks that you're in tears. You sniffle and look at Danny. His blue eyes shine with a mixture of embarrassment, pity, shame, and resentment.

"Whatever," he just snarls, "She's not worth it. She never was," he says as if you aren't standing directly in front of him. 

"You piece of shit," James hisses but Lily interrupts him.

"James. No," she scolds like a mother and James whips his head around to glare at her.

Instead, he makes eye contact with you and his face falls once more. His posture softens and, to your surprise, he doesn't move when Danny bumps his shoulder to leave. 

"I'm sorry, James," you say sadly, still holding his present. 

He looks confused and tilts his head as walks closer to you. Murmurs drift around the room as students continue to watch the scene. Lily looks around, seemingly just as uncomfortable as you, and James does the same. 

He gestures to the door and raises one of his eyebrows in a question. Lily nods. Quietly, you follow them outside and as you walk.

James and Lily somehow find their way next to each other. It's almost automatic for them and your heart breaks. Lily whispers into James's ear and his eyes glance at you. You look away, insecurities burning your chest. 

"You okay?" Lily asks, turning around when you start to fall back behind them.

You hum and pick at your nails, "I- I'm gonna go," you mutter. Lily wants to protest but, without a word, you stand before James and let the broken necklace fall into his open hands.

He looks at you with wide eyes and then clutches his hand around the necklace so fiercely. He shakes his head and your name leaves his lip but you don't wait for him to continue. You turn to leave—what can he possibly say now that will make you feel better?

"I like you!" His voice resonates in your ears as your breath leaves you. You turn around, almost hurting your neck. You couldn't have heard him correctly. Your eyes bounce to Lily but she doesn't look hurt. She doesn't even look surprised. Instead, she sends you a small smile.

You blink, "Pardon me?" You walk a little closer to James, "You like me? As in romantically or as a person?"

James starts to stutter, "R-romantically."

You look towards Lily, bewildered. "But, you're dating her!" 

  James turns to look at Lily just as she speaks up, "No, we broke up. We didn't even last more than maybe two weeks, Y/n." She laughs, "You two should really talk—" 

James nods at her and then turns to you once more. His arms stretch out as if he wants to make sure you won't run away from him. "Please, Y/n. Hear me out." He sounds so small and for someone with such a big personality, you're suddenly afraid.

You find yourself nodding slowly and let him lead you behind The Three Broomsticks. James lets you lean against the wall and then he nervously runs a hand in his hair.

"James, I don't understand," you say quietly, "You like Lily. You have always liked Lily—I was always just some girl you entertained because you liked the attention. I've always known that."

James's face falls as he listens to you and you see his hands hesitate towards you. "You were never just some girl," he says adamantly.

You frown, "Yes, I was."

"No, you weren't," His voice rises and you press your back against the wall, staring at him as he explains, "Listen, I ended things with Lily. It was my decision. I realized I couldn't stay with her and do you want to know why?" 

You shake your head instantly but he tells you anyway. 

"Because she wasn't you. She didn't make me feel as full as you always do. When she laughed, I never had the same butterflies in my stomach," James pressed his hand to his chest, "My heart didn't feel compressed in my chest whenever I looked at her. I didn't blush at her compliments like I would yours, or want her to smile only because of me. Just like you used to. Bloody hell, I thought of you when I kissed her."

Your entire body feels warm as embarrassment washes over you. "Why did you then?" your voice breaks, "Why did you put me through that? You knew what I felt for you and you chose Lily anyway. How can I trust you now, James?"

You watch his lip tremble as he looks at you with his doleful brown eyes and your heart shatters for the fourth time this hour alone. 

"I don't know," he buries his face in his hands, making an exasperated sound, " I know that answer isn't good enough for you, and I know I can't take back the pain you felt when you saw me with her. I do know that." 

You don't know what to answer. 

James runs a hand over his jaw and looks at you, "I suppose I couldn't let the fantasy go," he admits in a whisper. 

You turn your head away, "Y-yeah—Lily Evans, the fantasy. I understand." 

"W-what? No, that isn't what I meant!" James assures you, "I've been stuck on Lily for years. I know I didn't see you, but—but I see you now."

You stare at him. He looks so upset that your anger turns into pity, "James—"

"Y/n, please don't reject me. I can't bear it," his voice breaks as his eyes water. He walks closer and drops the broken necklace he'd given you in your palm. Your hand closes around it without thinking. "I've been such an idiot but I can't imagine losing you like this."

"You lost me the moment I saw you with Lily. You don't deserve to have me—not like this, and definitely not anymore," you say sternly and watch as you break the heart of the boy you're madly in love with. 

"James, you strung me along for months and months, and then threw me away without hesitation for her. If you liked me, you would have never let me cry over you for weeks," your voice becomes louder. 

James's hurt expression twists and his eyes darken, "You spent your days with Danny Dulac for fucks sake! What the hell was I supposed to do?" he also raises his voice.

"You aren't allowed to be jealous!" you say and push your index into his chest, tears streaming down your cheeks, "You ruined this," your voice dies as your hand flattens on his chest and he grasps it in his. James pulls you closer and leans his head onto yours. 

For a moment, you let it rest there, but then you pull away. "I can't do this," you mutter, "you only want what you can't have, James," you whisper and you know your words would hurt him but you don't care. You hear him call your name as you walk away from him.

* * *

Over the next few months, it's as if you and James never existed. 

You don't speak in class and when James wants to talk outside of classes, you ignore him. Eventually, he stops trying. He doesn't go back to Lily like you'd expected him to. Instead, time goes by, you both graduate, and it isn't until Marlene's 21st birthday that you see James Potter again.

He's in the middle of a small crowd: his smile as bright and wide as you remember. He's laughing like he would in school and you stand to the side of the room, suddenly unsure what to do with yourself.  

When James sees you, his smile falters for a moment. He looks you up and down and when his eyes land on the necklace you're wearing, his heart thumps in his chest and he can't help but wander over to you. You almost run from him, but enough time has passed for you to stay still.

"Hi," James says, looking into your eyes. 

You look up, your voice merely a whisper, "Hi." 

Weirdly, conversation flows easily. You talk about work, hobbies, and eventually you land on relationships. Somehow you've found each other in a secluded side of the room, you're leaning against the wall as James's arm rests near your head. It isn't confrontational—no, instead you feel safe caged in his strong arms. Your eyes train on the muscles of his arm—of course he plays Professional Quidditch now. You need to remind yourself to pay more attention to Quidditch from now on. 

"You seeing anyone?" James hums, his eyes flickering to your necklace again. You fiddle with it subconsciously and shake your head. 

"You?" 

James shakes his head too and he finally asks the question that's been burning his lips, "You fixed it," he raises his arm and his thumb skims the rubies. 

You hum and nod. "I did."

"Why?"

You laugh and look at James. "Because I love this necklace," you pause a moment and you whisper, "And it reminds me of someone."

   James seems surprised and he runs a hand in his curls. He looks at you and leans in a little. "C-can I?" he asks and a part of you wants to shake your head…tell him to fuck off. But, this is James Potter. He's the only boy you've ever loved—no matter who came after him. You nod and James's hand cups your cheeks as his lips press against yours. 

"I've been thinking of doing this for years," he says breathlessly through his kisses. 

I have too, you want to say but instead you just pull him closer. 

"I love you," James says suddenly and pulls away. He looks flustered as he tries to explain himself. "I- I never stopped."

You look at him and utter three words James didn't think he'd ever hear, "Neither did I." 

[mintpurrfect]

hi, I saw that you came back and if you don’t mind, I also want to ask you to write a one shot with seong taehoon x reader where the reader admits to her boyfriend that her stepfather (maybe someone else, it’s not so important) sexually harassed her and maybe tried to go further (if you know what I mean), how he would behave (this is a pretty tough request, so if it’s too much and you want to write it, then everything is okay)

⩇:⩇⩇ — finding out

⤿synopsys﹕ seong taehoon finding out that his lover's stepfather sexually harassed them and even tried to go further.

⤿character﹕ seong taehoon x gn!reader

⤿genre﹕ hurt/comfort(?), angst-ish

⤿warnings﹕ lower case, tons of cursing, upsetting themes/topics, mentions of sexual harassment and neglectful parenting, reader's got a bad relationship with their family, used the word “manipulated” once at the end but not really in a bad way?(pls inform me if I forgot something)

⤿note﹕ hello, I'm back! (again) I'm sorry this took so long. I honestly didn't know how to write this. I wrote a fanfic format but I can't seem to write it so I changed to this hc type of writing instead. I find this quite hard to write but I managed to finish it. kinda rushed. not proofread.

￫ you were staying at his place for quite some time now.

￫ before, you'd only come crashing by every once in awhile, but lately, you have been staying the night, and would often hangout all day at his place recently.

￫ he knows that you didn't really have a good relationship with your mom and step-father, but never asked why. taehoon thinks that he should wait for you to open up instead of trying to force you to because he didn't want to push you away and possibly make you close yourself off even further.

￫ ever since he learnt that your family situation isn't the best, he started being nicer to you compared to before, although he was still the same teasing and condescending jerk, he held back from bullying his sweet little lover.

￫ just like the past few weeks, you're currently laying beside him on his bed, soundlessly asleep in his arms. taehoon was nearly about to doze off, when all of a sudden, he heard you whimper in your sleep, sounding like you were in pain.

￫ taehoon froze, observing you for a moment just in case he was only hearing things, but you did it again, this time, with a sniffle following it.

￫ he immediately pulled you closer against his chest and began whispering comforting words by your ear, accompanied by soft pecks on your head and temple.

“It's okay, you're safe. I'm right here.”

￫ once you calm down, he sighs and starts caressing your upper arm, rubbing soothing circles on your skin.

￫ when you woke up and finally registered that you were safely tucked in his warm embrace, you couldn't help but begin to cry, letting out all your pent up emotions.

￫ he didn't say anything besides the occasional sweet words he'd whisper against your hair as he hugs you tighter than ever.

￫ it lasted for a while. your cries and sniffling were the only sounds resonating within his quiet bedroom.

￫ when you calm down, you apologize for crying to him, but he just pinches your cheek gently, telling you not to worry about it.

￫ the moment you feel your chest lighten a bit and his warmth, you slowly spoke up, finally letting it all out in the open for him to hear. you told taehoon about how shitty your stepfather is, how terrible and vile that man is to the point that he didn't even deserve to be called human.

￫ you basically poured all the things you've been bearing alone, telling your boyfriend about how your stepfather tried to force you into things you didn't want, things that made your skin crawl and your stomach to crunch in pure disgust.

￫ and let me tell you, the moment you told him about the horrible and disgusting things that bastard did and tried doing to you, he only saw red, his mind going blank, only thinking of different ways to make that shitty asshole pay for what he made you go through.

￫ of course he held back, at least, for the time being, only listening to your words and letting you open up to him while holding you protectively. all the stories you were telling him made his blood boil. he just wanted to beat the living daylights out of that stupid stepfather of yours.

￫ the moment you're done, he comforts you for the rest of the night while simultaneously trying to calm himself down.

￫ be ready for what comes next after he finally found out about what you've experienced. he will, without hesitation, march into your house and beat the shit out of your father.

￫ one day, you'll just find out from your mother that apparently, a "burglar" had broken into the house and your stepfather was "unfortunately" the only one home and got beaten up when this person had caught sight of him and decided that he should be threatened to keep shut about what happened.

￫ you had an inkling feeling that this mystery person was somehow linked with your lover, but when you went to ask, subtly of course, he seemed to have not known anything so you just dropped it. (of course taehoon was only acting innocent from all of it, thinking that it would be better for you not to know.)

￫ it was also safe to say that you have been practically adopted by his father and now, you were going to start living with the seong family, no buts, no excuses. that decision is final and already set.

￫ hansoo considers you as his child now, even if you and taehoon are not married yet, he says that it'll happen someday anyway so it was no problem having you live with them.

￫ when you stopped rejecting the offer and began living with them, finally, taehoon would sneakily manipulate you into cutting off ties with your shitty stepfather and your neglectful mother without you realising it. he may or may have not also threatened them into not contacting you ever again.

￫ not to mention that if he was soft with you before, he became even more so now. He would still tease you but he stopped throwing rude remarks. he started showing you more that he does care and how he loves you. even if he found it quite embarrassing, he'll gladly say “I love you” more frequently if it makes you happy <3

[honeyglz]

"Tell me a secret"

A/N - Back at it already woo!! She/Her pronouns (though I will be trying to branch out in the future) . Its just a little drabble but ye also literally bare minimum proof reading done for this.

Pairing - Bakugou x Reader

P2- Take it to the grave

Warning- Mentions of death, injuries and blood as well as general violence. (Pls lmk if I missed any)

song rec - Atlantis by seafret and somewhere only we know (idk sry)

Category- Angst, enemies to ???

-♡-

Smoke smothered the air, her breath heavy in her lungs. Her vision blured as tears ran down her face, her mind wandering. Her back pressed against the jagged concrete pillar, legs giving out as she slumped to the floor. A dry cough escaped her, crimson painting her mouth. Her hand found her cracked phone as her bloodied finger slipped across her screen eyes drifting to his contact. She clicked on it and listened as his voice rang in her ear piece.

"What do you want?" Annoyance laced Bakugou's voice as it rang through her ear, loud and clear.

She chuckled before coughing, blood dripping from her mouth. She didn't bother to say much the words slipping from her before she could hold them.

"Tell me a secret."

The request was small, her voice even more so. Bakugous eyes turned to the screen, confused at such a random call and demand.

Silence rang through as he huffed, "Why are you calling me nitwit?- Your supposed to be on patrol"

Her smile faded at his scolding, instead she changed the subject. "I miss UA... remember our first year?"

A grunt came through the phone as he stiffened at her tone. "Where are you L/N?"

"I remember when we first met. You called me an extra and I called you a dumbass" tears ran freely down her cheeks as she reminisced.

"Where the fuck are you L/N?" His stood up from his seat grabbing his coat before he caught sight of the news.

A downtown villian attack. Your patrol route.

Bakugou's blood ran cold as he rushed out the door phone still in hand. "L/N !? Where are you!"

A cough came from the phone as she bought the phone to her shoulder, hands resting at her side as her breath came out labored. "Katsuki, let me ask you something."

He ran as fast as his legs would take before he froze. His body shook at the sight of the city in ruins, the damage was spread too far for him to find you in time. You would die. You were going to die. And you'd be gone. Forever. Your voice snapped him out of his trace as you repeated your request.

"Katsuki. Please." Your voice was so weak. You felt so weak.

"What?... What is it?" His voice shrank as his eyes frantically looked around for any sign of you.

"In our third year I wanted to ask you something. It was our last day and I stopped you but I never told you." You felt your heart ache in your chest, your body slowly shutting off.

"Yea I remember.. what about it?" He flipped debris, you were no where to be seen.

"If I had asked you out that day.... would you have said yes?" It was selfish of you to ask, but death granted only one request. You didn't want to leave without knowing.

His breath caught as he felt tears begin to build. "You wanted to know a secret right?"

You hummed as you closed your eyes, the light around you fading in and out.

"My secret is I would have said yes."

You smiled up to the sky as you felt your mind rest. "Ain't that something huh?" And like clockwork the world went dark, the last thing you heard was his voice. Begging you to let him take you out. To wake up.

...

..

.

BREAKING NEWS

"Pro hero H/N pronounced dead after villian attack this morning. Though our medical team has yet to find her body sources concluded her remains were destroyed in the battle. More details coming soon-"

The TV shut off as the remote hit the floor, Y/N's body illuminated by the glow of the screen. Straps and chains decorating her skin as a gloved hand stroked her cheek.

"What do you say dove? Shall we give them a real show?"

-♡-

A/N - WOOO ANGST YEAAA. Lmk if yall want me to do a part 2 cause yea :D.

NAH I FORGOT TO TAG THID HOLD ON

[hangmanbrainrot]

I posted 939 times in 2022

That's 939 more posts than 2021!

71 posts created (8%)

868 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rooster-84

@babyrooster

@bradshawsbitch

@forsty

@top-hhun

I tagged 619 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#glen powell - 102 posts

#jake seresin x reader - 85 posts

#miles teller - 51 posts

#fic rec - 46 posts

#jake seresin - 40 posts

#answered - 37 posts

#bradley bradshaw x reader - 33 posts

#comment reblog - 31 posts

#shut up sierra - 31 posts

#bradley bradshaw - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#i'm trying to model a character's father after him but i wasn't old enough at the time to remember the early days of his career

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hi! I wanted to request for a hangman fic based on that Tiktok where the girl texts her bf asking where he is because somebody just sent her pics of him getting into some girl’s car and after a little banter, he asks for the pic and it’s a picture of a cockroach getting into a toy car 🤣

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CiYL43Dv719/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

This was fun! I got none of the other writing done tonight that I wanted to! But I did this and it made me laugh so that's cool!

harmless fun

jake seresin x reader; 395 words; no warnings; written on mobile so be kind to me, pls. ❤

Truth be told, you knew you were needlessly testing the bounds of your boyfriend's love, all for a tiktok. But it would be fun... right?

I can't believe you would do this to me, Jake.

Babe I told you I'd be home when the game is over. Not ditching you

Not that. You know what you did.

What did I do???

You set your phone down, mostly because the fit of giggles you'd devolved into made it harder and harder to hold it and sit upright. You wondered for a moment how long you'd be able to sustain the joke, but thought it best to enjoy the moment. Jake Seresin was many things, but foremost he was actually a great and loyal partner — which only made this whole ordeal funnier. He was an attractive man, and he knew it, so that sometimes was... misread by strangers. Hell, it had taken 3 progressively more dramatic attempts for him to get your attention — and keep it long enough to ask you out on a date. And now look at you: all starry-eyed and wearing the man's old t-shirt while you did dishes in what was technically his house. You'd just moved in a good awhile ago.

And then you realized, in your efforts to be a good housemate and not leave your dirty dishes in the sink for your partner to come home to, you'd totally left him hanging in the middle of a joke that wouldn't seem like a joke if you forgot the punchline.

Hello??

Babe?

Missed call Jake

Can you at least tell me what I did

Missed FaceTime call Jake

Please

Fine!

He'd left you the perfect opening to claim you were waiting it out, but he'd replied in seconds anyway. Just a simple ok. You knew he was growing anxious, and you'd need to wrap this up soon. Poor guy. You could practically see his knee bouncing.

One of my friends just sent me a picture of you getting into a car with another girl!

???

I'm literally sitting here watching the game with Javy. Last I checked, he's not a girl

And then: Send me the picture. Let me see. Please

You were giggling again by the time you hit send on the picture you'd stolen from a quick Google search. Seconds later, your boyfriend replied:

I'm on my way home.

And you just knew he was already planning his revenge.

215 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

#4

idle time

a/n: this was supposed to be short, but here we are. thank you @luminousnotmatter​ for the sweet request!! <;3 warnings: 18+ for blink and you’ll miss it innuendo, anxiety mention, angst, a bit of fluff, a bit of slice of life / domesticity  word count: 965 summary: Bradley has a problem with down time, and you’re determined to help him relax. pairing: bradley bradshaw x f!reader

A rare rainstorm had rolled through Southern California, and the smell of it had settled into the air around the small home you shared with Bradley. You inhaled contentedly in front of the open window in your kitchen, and allowed a smile to ease onto your features. This ‘between deployment’ time was your favorite. The sight of your softly snoring husband curled up beside you, always touching you in some way even while he slept, never failed to soften your heart. It had taken a few weeks at home for his nightmares to lessen, but you knew as soon as he had healed his heart against what he'd put it through, it would be time to reopen those old wounds once more. Maybe less so now, as a TOPGUN instructor, but you weren't convinced he wouldn't find reason to get back in the air on a more regular basis. Still, there was no one else you’d rather help put back together, if it came down to it.

Today, though, today was quiet. After he’d coaxed you out of bed early with a stack of his famous blueberry pancakes, your husband had busied himself with running errands. You knew that he hated idle time and what it did to him, so you let him run himself almost ragged on his days at home, as much as he let you waste away on yours. No matter what Bradley got up to on any given day, he always found time to unwind with you. What was better than that?

You’d finally got the kitchen back into its usual clean state after this morning’s breakfast resulted in more than pancakes being on offer. The rhythmic hum of the dishwasher caused a slight smile to ease onto your features as you wandered toward where your Switch was docked in your living room, then cradling your favorite silly hobby in your palms as you headed outside to where your porch swing sat currently unused. Bradley had installed it not long after you moved in for your ‘future kids.’ The mention made you blush. But right now, it was all yours.

Eyes barely open, you were in the middle of contemplating a nap when you heard the tell-tale sound of Bradley closing the door to his Bronco. You weren’t sure how long you’d been curled up there on the porch swing; the allure of Disney Dreamlight Valley was never one you could resist. You called out a ‘back here!’ and realized you were shouting — the rain had gotten heavier. Idly, you wondered if that was what had your husband returning home. Though, when he rounded the corner of your home and came into view, you could instantly see the scowl of a bad mood planted firmly on his face. You sat up, placing your Switch on the small side table at your left. He didn’t say anything, just wordlessly, sullenly, planted himself beside you. You inhaled a breath to ask what was up, but he shook his head. A beat passed. Then another, and then another. It took another full moment before you raised your hands, palms smoothing over his back, the planes of hard muscle tense beneath his wet t-shirt. You applied a bit more pressure as you continued, and felt his posture lose its rigidity, slowly but surely. Then, you slid your arms around his shoulders, and rested your cheek against his shoulder blade.

Still, you didn’t pry. 

Instead, you gently pulled your husband to lay back with you, then coaxed him into laying his head against your chest. The man was 6’2,” and completely enamored with being held, cradled by you, just like this. As your fingers carded through his curls, you began to hum a faint melody. You were halfway through the song when he began to speak.

“The pantry and the fridge are fully stocked.”

“Okay,” you said slowly.

“And there’s nothing wrong with the Bronco.”

“That’s great, babe.”

“I worked out this morning.”

“Yes, I saw you leave.” 

“And I still have so much…”

“Time?” you finally dared to insert an opinion of your own. Never wanting to overstep, but rather provide space for your partner to open up as he wanted — like a flower, opening and closing of its own accord. You only ever wanted to tend to him, never smother.

But then, he affirmed your suspicion with a soft, huffed: “Yes.”

“Bradley,” you said quietly, “you are allowed to relax, you do know that, right?”

“No, I know—”

“See, I don’t think you do.” He grunted in protest, though he quieted as your fingers massaged into his scalp once more. “I know you hate idle time, and the anxiety that settles into you when you feel like you have nothing to do, but I promise you it’s okay.” 

“You’re safe, baby,” you continued, leaning down to press kisses into the soft bed of curls at the top of his head. His arms came up and around you as much as they could on your small porch swing, then tightened. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He wasn’t parroting the words back. Even without looking at your husband, you could tell he was sincere; he meant it with every solid, square inch of him. This beautiful anxiety-ridden man loved you with all he had. And you loved him all the same. 

One of your hands left its post in his hair and drifted toward his back, where your palm once again moved in slow circles. He didn’t say anything more, and neither did you. Even as the sky began to darken and the rain teetered off to a sprinkle. 

Bradley exhaled out a little sigh, and you thought he was preparing to speak again, but instead, you were comforted by the sound of his soft snores. 

277 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

#3

me: aw he's just a sweet lil guy the guy in question:

287 notes - Posted December 2, 2022

#2

more than this

a/n: HI. Me again! After talking with @rosiahills22, I simply HAD to give this idea a whirl. I hope y’all enjoy! Reader’s callsign is Van Gogh (to be explained) and I don’t use Y/N. :) special thanks to @bradshawsbitch​ for the encouragement. :’)

warnings: so much mutual pining, dash of angst toward the end. Generally, all my posts are 18+ because I don’t want minors interacting with my page! Probably naval inaccuracies.

word count: 3975

summary: You and Jake have been best friends for years now… Why mess with a good thing?

pairing: Jake Seresin x Reader, Jake Seresin x Aviator!Reader — callsign: Van Gogh

See the full post

1,236 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

worth it 

a/n: yet again this was supposed to be short but sierra cannot shut up!! <3 thanks anon for this sweet request! i’ll get back to work on my 7 wips now. 🫣 warnings: 18+ for mild coarse language and some shameless thirsting. domestic!hangman is my fave. just super fluffy. word count: 1275 summary: Jake is far more attentive than you previously gave him credit for, but it sparks a big revelation.  pairing: jake seresin x reader

It was rare to come home and not see your boyfriend already there, watching whatever film he was obsessed with this week, especially when he was on leave. You’d never complain, though it was comical to see him in your space. His muscular frame made your furniture look like it belonged in a dollhouse, sometimes. So, today, you were a little sullen to come home and not find him stretched out on your gray sofa, one arm curled behind his head — putting that delicious bicep on display — and one leg hanging off the arm of the couch. 

Though before you could allow your mild and unreasonable disappointment to settle in, your phone rang, your favorite coworker's name flashing across the screen. 

“Hey, you know I'm not currently being paid to talk to you right now, right?” The teasing lilt to your voice was unmistakable. 

“She quit!” Your coworker barked in response, before you could get another word in edgewise.

“What do you mean she quit?”

You put the phone on speaker, then set it down onto your kitchen counter, while you headed toward the fridge to retrieve a bottle of water. 

“She marched into the office, handed over an envelope, then walked back to her desk. She’d already packed everything up, so she just grabbed a box and rolled.”

“What?” Your voice had jumped an octave. You stilled, standing at your kitchen island with your hands against the countertop. 

It was at just that moment, your front door opened, and Jake appeared in the doorway, arms full of grocery bags. You waved, then held a finger to your lips and pointed to your phone. He nodded and mouthed an ‘okay’ as he came nearer. Then, your coworker launched into the story, as well as her theories surrounding the resignation of the third assistant editor at the magazine you worked for. You let her go on, muttering a comment or two of your own when you could, for so long that Jake had replaced your bottle of water with a glass of wine. It had taken you a moment to recognize that it was your favorite brand, but last you checked, you’d ran out last week and had forgotten about buying a new bottle. You were definitely listening to your coworker, but your eyes followed Jake around the kitchen, while he busied himself with getting a start on dinner. 

At the next lull in the conversation, you cut in, “Darlin’, I gotta go. Jake’s here.” This earned you a particularly salacious sounding oooh. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Make sure you’re bright and early, so we can have front row seats to the mess.” 

When you hung up the phone, you inhaled to speak, but Jake beat you to it, still facing the stove. 

“That bitch Debbie strikes again. I’m telling you, somebody needs to put her in her place. I think it should be you, by the way, I’m just saying.”

Blinking slowly, you wordlessly stared at your boyfriend’s back. Your silence prompted him to turn around, fingers still curled around the handle of the pot he was currently sauteing asparagus in. “What?” He glanced down at himself, then a knowing look crossed his features. With a free hand he gestured toward his body, and the black hoodie he currently wore. “I know, I stole the Navy hoodie back, but it’s really comfortable. I promise I will wash it and return it to your closet where it belongs.”

“Not that, you doofus,” you snorted, closing the small space between you to hop up on the counter beside where he was cooking. You practically had stars in your eyes. “You remembered my boss’ name?”

A look of bewilderment creased your boyfriend’s brows as his gaze settled on you. “Obviously?”

And there you were again, blinking like a fuckin’ owl because what was your life right now? Your perfect boyfriend with his perfect, gorgeous smile, in your tiny kitchen, cooking you dinner and remembering the small details of your life. And, sure, the bar was in hell, but to say your past partners were less than ideal was an incredibly generous statement. 

“I can’t believe you remembered that,” you finally admitted, tone noncommittal. 

“What do you mean?” He seemed genuinely confused.

“I mean, I haven’t always received that level of effort before.”

His lips slipped into a frown for a moment, just long enough for you to catch it. “It’s you,” he said softly. “You’re worth it. You’re worth every level of effort. Every level? Any amount? However you say that properly. You’re worth it.” He paused then to point an accusatory finger in your direction. “Don’t make fun of me, English Major.”

He shot you a grin, but the tips of his ears were bright red — a telltale sign of embarrassment. Jake hated when he rambled on, but you loved it. Especially when he wasn’t cognizant of his accent, and it poured out over his words like molasses.

“So, anyway,” he continued, now returning his full attention to the stove. “Enough about Deb. Hate her. How’s Kelly and the baby? Did she and Jason like the gift you got them? I feel like babies can never have enough onesies.”

“We got them,” you corrected, gently nudging Jake’s arm with your own. After all, he had helped you select a gift for one of the other editorial assistants without having ever met the woman or her partner. No, in fact, most of your coworkers only existed as characters in stories to him, but he was fascinated by every little detail you told him. Moreover, as you discovered tonight, he’d retained every detail you’d told him, committed them to memory. Despite the busy, intricate details of his own job, he remembered all of these silly little things about the staff for the magazine you worked for. 

You watched with amusement as a blush colored the blond’s cheeks, though he nodded before parroting back a short ‘we.’ Your eyes continued to study him as he prepared your shared meal, watched the way his eyes lit up when he found you looking at him, the way he babbled on about his cooking technique. 

You were desperately, unshakably in love with this man. And if you were unsure before, you knew it now. And it didn’t matter that sometimes he was worlds away, didn’t matter that you wouldn’t always be in the same time zone, or that sometimes you’d have to fall asleep without the warmth of his embrace. No, this man, and the love he inspired in you, was worth it.

“Did you hear what I said?” he interrupted your reverie, eyes narrowed in playful irritation. 

“I’m in love with you, Jake Seresin.” 

And you weren’t nervous. You knew this man loved you, too, all the same. Because he came home to you and bought your favorite wine and listened to your ranting. Still, your heart was eased when a look of pure adoration crossed his features when he looked at you. He reached a hand out to turn off the fire on the stove, then came to stand between your parted thighs. 

See the full post

1,611 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 6 of ?)

gif by my queen @michaelgreys, i'm basically her fanblog now but im not mad about it :) i mean just look at him!!1! i almost fainted

a/n: first of all, if you stuck around to this point, tysm for reading!!! this has been one of the most amazing fics ive ever been a part of and it's all thanks to the gorgeous @stxdyblr-2k, who generously took control of the next few parts. her brain is beautiful and we all owe her flowers or something. when i read what she sent me i couldn't bring myself to change much except for some small edits, so pls give her lots of love if you like it!!!! i'm still working on requests as well :)

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five | my masterlist

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03

prompt: nothing this good can last forever. john doesn't know how to feel, and neither do you.

warnings: nsfw! a teensy bit of smut, angsty as fuck prepare yourselves accordingly, a lil fluff if u squint, yeah this fucked me up

Obviously, it wasn't the last time.

Over the coming months you had many last times; his mouth pressed against your neck said as much. As his responsibility at work increased, you'd find yourself heading to his office after your lectures and night classes more often, perched on his lap, smoking, while he finished up his numbers under your critical gaze.

Thomas was more than aware; his snarky comments made it obvious he had his ways of monitoring your actions. You'd seen the dark car lurking outside your rallies and lectures, and no matter how you'd try to throw him off, not even telling Ada where you were going and even, in a moment of desperation, through your neighbours back window, somehow, his silent shadow was still looming. He was practically begging you to make a mistake, to give everyone an easy out. You just couldn't give him the satisfaction. You knew Tommy saw the world as a chess board, always several moves ahead of his opponent. Even when you played him in chess club all those years ago, you could outflank him if you thought on your feet and kept him thinking he was winning until you obliterated him in the end game. It was brutal, sure. But as he told you, there were bigger games at play. You had your own. Thomas could read your mail, intercept your phone calls and have you followed, but he couldn't hear what you said out of earshot. Your lot could smell an interceptor in your ranks, so spying at that close of a proximity was out of the question.

That's why he'd decided to let you have John. You knew his silent approval and his constant management of the narrative meant he saw a tactical gain. There was only so much information he could get from Ada, but John? He just had to agitate him in the right way and all your secrets would come tumbling out. It was difficult hiding your world from John; of what he knew of, he was supportive, quizzing you over current affairs and political discourse, listening intently. Yet, you had to watch your mouth. You had to keep a barrier up and you knew John sensed the distance. Fundamentally, there was nothing either of you could do.

So here you were, in a comfortable limbo. Your days were filled with work, evenings were for lectures and reading groups at the city's university, Ada and you often stopped for a drink or three; you'd go by your flat to freshen up, and then to John's office. Sometimes, you wouldn't visit for a week or so when the guilt sent you over the edge, it was draining to be living so many lives and knowing you were betraying the person you loved most on earth. Ada was oblivious, taking you on her nightly adventures filled with men, dancing and waiting while she was busy kissing in dark corners. Sometimes a young blinder would ask if you wanted to be walked home. The first occurrence you thought was sweet, but as the nights it occurred coincided with nights John seemed extra pent up, you'd decided to ask. The boy, who couldn't be older than twelve but who you knew was trained in using firearms and had a revolver pinned to his hip and a razor in his cap, looked confused.

"Mate, it's not a tough question. Why do you come and ask?"

"There's a phone call." He shrugs, "Isaiah or Michael tells us to go and get you."

Isaiah and Michael were somewhat aware? Fucking hell. Your fling was basically a military campaign at this point, so many of your friends were complicit. The little lads who ran as messengers around Birmingham were complicit. You had to just end it.

But when you sat on his thigh, his chin hooked over your shoulder, it felt so worth it. He never turned you away when you came crawling back. He never mentioned it until after you were finished, hooked under his arm.

"Fucking missed you, gorgeous."

Sometimes he'd remind you not to be a stranger with a wink, but you could tell it was tearing him apart too. He never once came to you. That's how he could justify it in his mind; obviously, the bare minimum was not having sex with his sister's best friend, but in failing that, waiting for you to initiate it was somewhat better. He barely talked to Ada now, citing work as an excuse, but truly the guilt sickened him. He couldn't believe he was prepared to continuously hurt his little sister and betray her. But every time you turned up at his door, he couldn't find it in himself to turn you away. In his mind, every single time you came to visit him was the last time he'd let it happen, yet he was always waiting for you to come back, his blind closed to signal he was prepared. He never would call, it had to be your choice.

You'd been off and on for over five months now. It was so difficult to hide in plain sight, but you just couldn't stop yourself. Neither of you purposefully meant for this to be happen but fuck, was it fun.

For your birthday he'd gifted you a fur coat from the same shop his sister, aunt and the fashionable crowd of Birmingham had purchased theirs. He joked that you looked like a "proper razor chaser", kissing you when you pouted at his teasing, begging you to wear only the coat when you fucked him next. It was a practice for blinders to buy a coat for their wives and girlfriends as a status symbol. You were neither, but John claimed that being his "favourite lass" also counted.

John was a laugh, but you knew at any time he could close his door to you. Until he decided he couldn't be bothered with you, you weren't going to get caught. You just had to be careful until he got bored.

***

You did end up putting a foot wrong. It was a Thursday night; you were sitting on the edge of John's desk while he was ridding you of your blouse. It was past midnight, Birmingham was asleep. You almost didn't bother coming out tonight, but you knew John had lost a deal and you wanted to be there for him. Your skirt and stockings were strewn across the desk with his shirt, vest and waistcoat, muddled into the files and papers which were once neatly stacked.

His fingers were pumping in and out of you, his mouth lapping at your breast, your head tipped back in euphoria, groaning. The stress made him more affectionate and tender with you, and it was nights like these that made you wonder. Wonder if this could ever be something more, something real.

John's body suddenly pulled away from yours, quickly turning the light off.

"John, what-" You were cut off by John’s hand over your mouth, muffling your words.

"Shut up and get behind the desk." He hissed. "Someone's coming upstairs."

You quickly grabbed your clothes from the shiny oak surface and crouched, hiding yourself from view, quickly making yourself decent. You weren't going to get shot through the head with your tits out. You listened to the stairs creek, and it sounded like a group. You two were easily outnumbered. They were talking, but the thick panels of wood muffled their voices.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness, the cracks in the door giving the room a dulled glow, you could make out the figure of John. He was free of his shirt, toned body on display, standing with his back flat to the wall, revolver produced from a discreet notch in the door frame, gaze fixed on where they'd enter. He was tense, ready. The door was unlocked from the outside, the door handle twisting.

John's lip shifted in confusion yet still he kept his trigger finger ready, not a single shake from your general.

The light flicked on and a shriek rang out. It was blinding, and you stood up slightly dazed. Finn was in the doorway, John next to him clutching his chest, panting and lowering the gun.

"Jesus Christ, Finn, can't you knock like a normal person? Scared the shit out of us." John bellowed, shaking as the adrenaline coursed through his body, resting his hands on the edge of the desk as he regained his breath.

"You're the one who pointed a gun at me! I didn't even know you were in 'ere!" Finn yelped.

The commotion had attracted the attention of Ada and Isaiah, who had come running and stopped in their tracks upon seeing you standing behind John's desk in the middle of the night. They weren't stupid. John was topless, your clothes obviously rumpled, both with matching tousled hair and practically stinking of guilt. You'd been caught red handed. Ada's eyes flicked between both you and John, and you could practically see the pieces of the puzzle clicking together in her mind, all the moments she found questionable since you'd returned suddenly making sense, realising she had been deceived by the two people who she was meant to trust most in life. Finn looked absolutely crushed, he'd never been able to conceal his emotions as well as his older brothers and sister, linking his fingers through Ada's, squeezing her hand.

"I forgot to drop this off earlier." Finn stated, holding up a money box, "Ada had keys so we thought we'd sneak in so I wouldn't get done by Tommy. We did call round yours, Y/N. We thought you were in bed."

"I'm sorry." You said. It was not enough but you just didn't know what else to say. You couldn't make it right, you'd really fucked up this time. Tears pricked at your eyes, as Ada examined you in silence.

John stepped in front of you defensively. "Look, Ada-"

"How long has this been going on?" She asked, her voice shaking with rage. You and John exchanged a glance. "I said, how fucking long?"

"Five months, six in a fortnight." He answered.

Isaiah whistled lowly. "That's fucked. I thought it was only a few times, that it'd finished."

"Never really over when it's John is it." Finn interjects, you glance to him, were you just one in a long string? You shouldn't be surprised but it was easy to pretend he may actually care about you.

"You've been fucking around for six months behind my back?" Ada yelped, Finn trying to comfort her but she pulled away from him. "And you fucking knew Iz."

"I'd expect this from you, yeah? Wouldn't put anything past you these days.." she sneered at John, "But you? You?! You're meant to be my best mate, but here you are sneaking about fucking my brother?"

"Ada-" you began, eyes welling with tears.

"I thought I could trust you. You're just another fucking razor chaser, aren't you?" She spits. "That's why you came back."

"No it wasn't, Ada-"

Her eyes flashed with anger, but this time John was on the receiving end. "You bought her that fucking coat ,didn't you? The fur one. You did! Fuck's sake!" Her fists were clenched, shoulders squared. For the first time in your life, you understood why crowds parted for Ada Shelby. Understood all the free drinks and cab rides, the nervous serving staff declaring your meal on the house (always acknowledged by Ada with a hefty tip), understood why the men of Birmingham didn't last long with her.

"Did it feel good to swan about town in that fucking coat, while acting as though you cared about me? It's so fucking embarrassing. All trussed up because my knobhead big brother makes you feel special? Thanks for rubbing it in my face."

"Ada, I love you. I never meant to hurt you, I got caught up and that's on me. It's my fault."

"You're not acting like you love me. This isn’t what love is, Y/N." She retorted.

You couldn’t do anything but nod. She was right.

John opened his mouth to speak, Ada silencing him, a scowl darkening her features.

"I don't care what you have to say. Any of you. Who else knows?"

"Thomas, Michael, Arthur-" John listed off slowly, each name prompting Ada to break down a little bit more in front of you.

"I didn't know Arthur knew." You said pointedly, John sending you an exasperated glance. He was planning on dealing with that later, but right now was about his sister. Fuck him if he thought you were going to stick around much longer. You didn't want to hear him justify everyone else knowing about your fling with your best friend being left completely in the dark.

"That all you have to say for yourself?" Ada snaps at you.

"I have fucking no defense, do I Ada? I should've walked away." You pushed your hair back, frustrated at yourself, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You begged yourself not to cry. Tears wouldn't help anything.

"Why didn't you?"

You didn't know. Your silence only riled her up.

"Why didn't you fucking walk away?" Ada yelled, slamming her hands on the desk.

You felt hot tears run down your face, quickly moving your hands to dab at your tears.

"Don't you dare fucking cry. After all you've done, you don't get to cry in front of me." Ada growled at you, John going to shush her, obviously wanting to comfort you. "You can all fuck off. You've all lied to me and gone behind my back. Fuck’s sake, you could've just told me. You could've just told me."

"We didn't want to hurt you." John said, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder but she flinches away.

"This hurts so much more. You get that you all lying to me is so much worse, don't you?"

"We weren't thinking."

"You really fucking weren't." Ada laughs bitterly, shaking her head, blinking away tears. "Fuck you lot."

She stormed out, tailed by Finn, begging her to slow down and talk to him, protesting his innocence in the situation. Isaiah hesitated in the doorway, his eyes flickering between you and John.

"I had no idea you two've been at it for so long."

"Iz, fuck off yeah? I've had enough today." John shot back, sliding across the desk towards you. "You alright, lass?"

"We're done here, John."

He slid off the table, his hand cupping your face, "Hey, gorgeous, I get it but don't go breaking my heart tonight. Can we just leave this for tomorrow? Sleep on it."

The idea of getting any sleep at all tonight was laughable, you'd be up all night replaying these moments and torturing yourself. Tonight couldn't get any worse so you had to finally end it. Now was the right time.

"John, it should've never happened."

"But it did."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over."

"Y/N. You know for me it was never just about-"

"You're making it difficult. Stop making it difficult. Whatever you say isn't going to change that right now we have to do the right thing."

"I know you're right, but I don't want to let go. Is it so wrong to want you? I adore you, you know that."

You wouldn't meet his eyes. Sighing, John pressed his forehead to the side of your head, chin brushing your shoulder, eyes closing. He was begging you to stay with him. There had to be a solution, you'd figure it out together. His voice was cracking, eyes glassy. He looked so much younger when he was pleading. The tall bloke who terrorised the Midlands with his razor rimmed cap, a revolver in his hand, and a ruthless trigger finger had vanished. You wanted to stay, burning to curl up with him and for him to kiss it better.

"I should go." You told him. He rested his forehead on your shoulder, letting out a shaky sigh before pulling away, nodding.

"I'd drive you home but obviously-"

"Obviously."

John suddenly turned from you, eyes narrowing at Isaiah who was still hovering at the door. "Thought I told you to fuck off. Make yourself useful and get Y/N home safely." His tone was ice cold once again.

Isaiah nodded, offering his arm to you. You reached the door and instinctively looked back at John. His eyes met yours, staring at you from his desk, just as you knew he would. He prepared himself to watch you leave every night, but this time was different. That was it with you two.

Isaiah strode down the street with you in silence. You were tucked into his side as was customary with the upcoming blinders who were particularly ambitious, but there was no relaxed chat.

"Isaiah. What’re you thinking?" You asked, voice tinged with nervousness.

He sighed, running his free hand across his jaw, "That was intense in there."

"Just how he is." You shrugged.

"Does he love you or sommet?"

"Fuck knows… does it matter?"

"Of course it does. Do you love him?"

"Drop it. None of that matters, it shouldn't have happened in the first place so it can’t," You snapped, the anger at the situation you'd created suddenly overwhelming.

Isaiah whistled, raising his brow at your obvious turmoil. "You're in fucking deeper than you want to admit."

He walked you up your path, watching you turn the key to the side door leading to your bedsit. You paused, turning to him.

"Iz… I don't know what to do next."

It was so dark, you could see his face only by the lit cigarette burning to embers between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, pausing before delivering his carefully laid out plan of avoidance. Obviously the event of him crossing the Shelbys and losing their good graces weighed heavily on his mind. You nodded, listening intently, noting his ideas of relocation but he explained they were a final resort. The best thing to do was try to regain their trust; in the long run, he had calculated, it was the only option that didn't result in your life being haunted by the Shelbys. Even if they left you alone, their enemies would make a point to go after you, seeing you as an easy target. The other option was to leave the country.

"Good luck, Y/N. I mean it." He muttered as you turned the handle to the temporary safety of your home. You nodded, offering you cheek for the polite good night kiss you'd become accustomed to. He rolled his eyes and obliged, pressing an affectionate kiss to your cheek and ruffling your hair. "I'm serious. Watch your back."

***

John broke down when he finally heard the lock click shut. His eyes had been prickling with boiling tears, his jaw tensed to hold them back. He yelled out in anger, flipping his desk with force, a loud crash as the wood splintered against the stone flooring, glass shattering from the photo frames. His hands went to his head, unable to stop the gasping breaths escaping from his trembling lips, his face reddening.

"Fuck’s sake." He growled. He'd fucked everything up. He had nothing, just as he'd told you the first night you returned. The consequence was no surprise, he'd anticipated the fall out for a while, but he couldn't resist you. He was completely guilty and had no defense; his only justification being that you made him think with his cock, not his brain.

Fuck’s sake. Polly was going to murder him. She'd always had a soft spot for Ada, as the only girl in the family, and was no stranger to lecturing him over his flirtatious behaviour around Ada's friends. She'd murder him. He had a half mind to never go home. He rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. Polly had no use for tears. That's what she'd tell him when he was a boy coming home with a skinned knee. This was far worse.

He was also sure that he was a worse brother than Tommy, perhaps the worst in the world. His baby sister, who he'd helped to toddle, carry proudly on his shoulders after school and race with her on his back through the fields on the outskirts of Small Heath, had walked in on him obviously in the midst of fucking her best mate. If he had swallowed his pride and actually talked to her, he wouldn't be in this mess. He could've told her that things changed, that for the same reasons Ada loved Y/N he had fallen for her, that he was truly sorry but she had to know before it got too far and someone got hurt. He couldn't go back.

He should've never approached you that night.

He should never approach you again.

He looked over the mess of his office, the splintered wood and shards of glass, a confetti of paperwork. Now nothing mattered. None of this mattered. He'd lost everything and he had only himself to blame.

[loserrking]

Unsent Letters

CC!Wilbur soot x reader

Summary : Wilbur reads the letters (Name) made that they never sent

A/N : Holy souls those are alot of trigger warnings. @blooming-mushroom its done :] No pronouns used, I think?... This is my first time writing angst so pls don't be harsh when giving criticism :]

TW : Death | Implied Suicide | Reader is Implied to have schizophrenia | mentions of hearing voices | mentions of hallucinations | panic attacks(?) | Car crash | one curse word, I think? | (Pls inform me if there are any more I should add)

For the eighteenth time this week, he entered the once bright and joyful home of his partner, now it was dull and no longer full of color....it was empty- something that may seem fine in the eyes of an outsider, maybe perhaps the resident was out for a walk or maybe they were at the market, no- the reason is neither of those things because (Name) was gone...

Wilbur kept a nonchalant face as he drifted into a room... He has spent so much time crying that he felt numb.

Bloodshot eyes gazed around the room, he knew the area very well as he had visited it many times before... The brunette contemplated looking through your stuff. You hated it when people touched your stuff but a particular shoe box under the dresser caught his eye, was that there before? Doesn't matter... He really shouldn't touch it, you'd be extremely upset if he did... But it was labeled "To my dear Wilbur" so it was probably okay for him to look through it right....? Right.

The tall man took the box into his hands and sat beside the dresser on the floor with his back against the wall. He wasn't that surprised to see a bunch of letters in the box, he was slightly confused on why he never received any letters from you despite the stacked pile of parchment in the shoe box,but he just assumed you never sent them. he took the one on the top and started reading.

Dear Wilbur,

How was your day? Mine wasn't that great, some idiot at work spilled hot chocolate on my WHITE shirt and she didn't even apologize! And you know that poem I was working on? I accidentally deleted it :( I decided to take the bus to go home and I sat next to this mother who's child would not shut up, I kept stubbing my toe when I got home and then when I was gonna take a nice hot shower, I twisted the tap the wrong way and was hit with water colder than the winter. I went to play bedwars and lost 4 times so I decided to just go on our private world and build something but my mind was blank and anything I decided to build ended like shiz.... I had a horrible day but talking to you made it better <3

P.S I probably won't send this to you...

Yours truly,

The Amazing (Name)

Wilbur couldn't stop the grin forming on his face, and even for a moment, he forgot about your death... He sighed "I wish you were still here..." He couldn't recognize his own voice, probably from not using it much.

He read more,some were cute,some were funny, but as he kept on reading, he noticed that the letters were getting shorter and started getting more concerning sentences and phrases in them

Dear Wilbur,

Can we could go ice skating again sometime? I had a lot of fun, infact, I had so much fun with you that you made me forget the world was a horrible place...how did you do that?

Sincerely,

Your partner, (Name)

Dear Wilbur,

I really wanna send these letters to you, but they keep telling me not to, I'm scared of what'll happen if I disobey, the last time I did, something bad happened . Maybe one day you'll be able to read these :(

Kind Regards,

(Name)

Dear Wilbur,

The sun and clouds were frowning at me today, I'm getting tired of these hallucinations, they make me feel like I did something wrong! But anyways, I missed you, lets go to that cat cafe I told you about :)

Sincerely,

(Name)

Dear Wilbur,

I'm sorry I snapped at you today, I was in a bad mood and the voices were louder than usual. I promise I'll make it up to you tomorrow

Best Regards,

(Name)

Wilbur's face contorted into one of confusion and concern. He knew you were mentally ill but he didn't recall you saying anything about hearing voices or having hallucinations. You never really told him much about your mental illness, maybe he should've been more persistent in asking what it was.

Did this tie into your death? Could this have played a part in it? It's been weeks after it happened and the police officers still couldn't decipher how you died and Wilbur was determined to find out, he frantically kept going through more of the letters, reading it in a fast pace. He skimmed through every one of them until he reached the last two letters.....

Dear Wilbur,

Sometimes I feel like I'm just bringing you down, and I'm sorry.... Maybe I should just disappear

Yours truly,

(Name)

Dear Wilbur,

I'm sorry, I can't keep our promise. It's all too much for me, goodbye Wil

Sincerely,

(Name)

The brunette knew what this meant, but he didn't wanna believe it.... Everything slowly started to make more sense, he should've been there for you, he should've noticed, how had he not noticed you were in pain? Was he that terrible of a boyfriend? God, it made him sick to the stomach just thinking about how you were silently screaming for help and yet he just stood there and did nothing.

His breathing pattern was uneven and soon his whimpers turned into sobs. He put a hand over his mouth, desperately trying to muffle his cries as tears streamed down his face. He wanted to scream, he wanted to yell and blame everyone for not trying to help you, he wanted to be able to hug you again, to be able to tell you a million times how much he loved you... But he can't, so he sat on the floor, trying to calm himself. He missed you, he missed you so much. It wasn't fair... The tears didn't stop, nor did the whimpers... If he had been there to comfort you, would you still be here? Would you still be alive if he or anyone tried to save you? Answer was... Yeah, probably....

Wilbur cried himself to sleep that night, he didn't even go home, he didn't have the strength to.... So he just laid there for a few hours until he eventually decided to drive home

The drive was quiet and the road was empty, at some point, Wilbur ended up zoning out, reminiscing about the times you shared together, the way you would smile and how you would stutter when he said a flirty comment, and how it just felt right being in your arms. He knew he was crying again, but this time he didn't bother to wipe it away.... He remembers how you would–

*BEEEP*

The startling sound rung through Wilbur's ears, it made the man turn the steering wheel wich caused his vehicle to swerve right into a tree

"shit..."