#forgive the silly language i'm feeling silly this morning :D

[schwazombie]

Where can I get the Eccentric European Wine-Aunt certification ^^?

Ah, excellent question, dear tumblr user just-some-questions. You see it isn't something that you actively get, it's bestowed upon you. One gathers the pieces bit by bit: eccentricity may be inborn or learned; you may be born European or, like me, run away to Europe (which added extra eccentricity!); you may drink wine; you may or may not have biological niblings. And then one day your sibling makes a joke about how you could most easily be found at church by locating the communion wine (which, in their opinion, you would be drinking straight from the bottle), and then a friend sends you a picture of a candle with a bigass label that says 'the Wine Aunt' and is described as smelling like family gossip and bad decisions. You have made it. You are, to someone, somewhere, the Eccentric European Wine-Aunt

[freesia-writes]

Ok here you go. I love these drunken headcannons about the Batch. (would insert a link if I could) But I would love to hear some more black out drunk headcannons of our beloved Commanders and Captains. (Cody, Wolffe, Fox, Howzer, Gregor, Bly, Rex... I don't know are there more? You can choose ;))

Love ya!

Hmmmmmmmm I will do my best. <3 But I feel wildly unqualified because I really don't know Cody/Wolffe/Bly/Fox yet. Need to re-watch and read more stuff here. So I'll take a shot in the dark. I've read some of the others but I can't remember any specifics, hahaha! So forgive me if I repeat any ideas already shared -- we do have a collective consciousness about these guys anyway, don't we? :D Slightly NSFW below the cut!

Cody - starts texting Obi-Wan with increasingly hilarious (and inappropriate) suggestions of how to be more efficient on missions. Sits in the corner of the bar, typing like a madman and giggling uncontrollably to himself. Someone approaches to ask how he's doing and he stifles it real quick, shoving the comm in his pocket and looking way too stern all of a sudden, pretending like he's totally normal (or trying).

Wolffe - hmmm. I'm thinking about Rebels Wolffe here. I think he'd start telling jokes that go from cringey cheesy to hilariously dirty, and the glint in his eye would be accentuated by his scar and cybernetic eye. He'd get Gregor-level eyebrow waggles. And girls would start hitting on him and he'd be like, "Oh, what's this? My bad! Yes, come on ladies, there's room for all of you." XD

Fox - dang, I don't know this guy at all, so I'm gonna be boringly cliche and say he'd start shit-talking Palpatine like no other, from silly things to stuff that has the clones with him looking around nervously and telling him to be quiet. He would probably piss on something of Palpatine's on his way home for the night, too. Or teabag his desk or somethin.

Howzer - mmmm. My sweet boy. Shiny Howzer would be VERY different, but grown Howzer… if he got that drunk… hm. I can see him doing karaoke. Singing stuff like the "I would walk 500 miles" song (I'm Gonna Be is the real name) and getting the whole bar to join in, and then the next morning his squadmates are teasing him about what a charismatic entertainer he was and he's absolutely refuses to believe them (but is secretly pleased inside, LOL). He's completely oblivious to the [HORDES] of women (and men and non-human sentients and every other identification) hitting on him all night and is just focused on having a damn blast. He'd wake up with lipstick marks on his face FOR SURE.

Gregor - (sorry, this is gonna have some language). I would love to be here for this one. ;) You thought he giggled and smiled a lot when he was sober? BUCKLE UP BITCHES. He's gonna be telling stories that he can only remember HALF of and can actually verbalize even LESS of because he's laughing himself to tears and gasping for air between the words so much that you can't discern what the FUCK he was talking about anymore, but you find yourself giggling too because he's just having such a good time and you can't help but be carried along. He would find the most random people at the bar and instantly become their best friend, buying them a drink and proclaiming them to be the greatest person in the galaxy. Him and Howzer at the same bar would be… oh my gosh… the bar would spontaneously combust. I NEED TO WRITE THIS.

Bly - dang, I don't know this chap much either, so again gonna play it safe and say he'd be texting Aayla about how much he wants to motorboat her securas and shroom tat his own face with her lekku. Every time it happens he gets another ridiculously lewd and hilarious tattoo in a place that only she will see… I absolutely can't think of ONE but you know what I'm talkin about. ;)

Rex - precious man. He'd be pretty subtle at first -- feeling super buzzed but able to hide it really well -- and would start commanding his boys in increasingly ridiculous ways, or calling them out on stuff they thought he didn't know about, and they'd be getting increasingly nervous and panicked and sweaty until he goes too far and they realize he's trashed and totally joking. But then they turn it on him and start telling random girls "Hey that guy's been staring at you all night" and laughing their asses off as girls approach him and he has his awkward panic. I don't see Rex as a one night stand kind of guy. And not a word of any of this is shared the day after.

and MAYDAY - mwahahaha. You just KNOW this guy is the most subtle drunk at the bar. His humor is so dry that it goes over half the people's heads, and his pickup lines to girls either have them wrinkling their nose (most of the time) or laughing and leaning in because they're just as snarky as he is (rarely). I think he's all about business on duty, with a thick layer of sarcasm on top of it all, but when he's a free man and under the influence he's making out with girls in the refresher and telling them to pull his hair. ;) Probably arm wrestling occasionally, and is totally understated about it (not a lot of bravado) but wins almost all the time.

Sorry it wasn't too terribly NSFW. ;)