jayemadeablog

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Hey man. Lets watch nosferatu together. Can you hold my hand if I get scared?

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I think any marriage needs its running jokes, ones that you can repeat with variations, or make callbacks too.

One of my favorite bits is describing the romcoms I watch to my wife as though I have never heard of a narrative in my life.

"She runs a small plane company, and he's from a major airline trying to shut her down, so it's really anyone's guess what's going to happen."

"Get this, he's a stuffy office dork and she's a free spirit, and they end up stuck in the same cabin on a cruise. Sounds like a disaster, right?"

"They've decided to pair up and be each other's plus one at a series of weddings to feel less pathetic, but it's not like they like each other or anything."

So I told my wife that I hoped she would still enjoy me doing this bit forty years from now, and she smiled and held my hand and said that she'd never liked it, not even the first time.

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Guy who learns kung fu, then realizes kung fu can be defeated by MMA so he learns that, then realizes MMA can be defeated by guns so he buys one, then realizes that guns can be defeated by law enforcement so he becomes a lawyer, then realizes that the law can be overthrown so he becomes a paramilitary general, then realizes that naked force can be enveloped by ideology so he becomes a religious leader, then realizes that ideology is primarily determined by the means of production so he becomes an inventor, then realizes that successful invention requires a finely honed mind so he becomes a psychologist, then realizes that the mind is just part of the body so he learns kung fu

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i think those nascar technicians could do the surgeries in the span of 1 minute. they should hire them instead of surgeons

godddd ur so fucking right. imagine having a clit crew

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man i have GOT to do this thing. *doesnt do it*

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Egon Schiele (1890-1918), Two Friends (1917), black crayon on paper, 29.8 x 46.1 cm. Via Sotheby’s.

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What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.

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what is the POOOOIINNTTTT in turning off reblogs to a good and popular post. I wanna reblog that. it was funny. it's my god given right to reblog. that feature was meant to use from the jump so people didn't reblog your personal shit. yall are just being mean when you see a post start to resonate and then you PULL THE TABLECLOTHHHHH

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why is that slimegirl skinny? make her fat. give her more goo to work with

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"Um the lockdowns didnt work" no moron they didnt happen

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hey guys can you help me find that old portrait of a girl holding a little painting of a naked dude and cracking up about it?? I want to say it’s by Rembrandt but that’s probably not right

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My harpy oc in her underwear or swimsuit I'm not sure