#forgive hiiiiiiiiiiim for the love of God

[jamesfrain]

Mark Rylance as Thomas Cromwell Wolf Hall: The Mirror and The Light | Episode Six 'Light'

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Don Carlo, Act IV Scene 1, 30

Act IV, Scene 1 of Don Carlo in 30 lines? Let’s go!

Filippo: My wife doesn’t love me. I can’t sleep. I’m incredibly depressed. My son’s betraying me. My life sucks in general. All I want is the sweet sleep of death. Well, at least I’m a bass-baritone in a Verdi opera, so I get a great aria.

Count Lerma: THE GRAND INQUISITOR IS HERE

Filippo: ...Dammit.

The Grand Inquisitor: What do you need?

Filippo: To ask you this: is it okay under any circumstances to kill my son?

The Grand Inquisitor: Well, God did, so yes.

Filippo: BUT IT’S MY SON

The Grand Inquisitor: Nothing matters except faith so screw Carlo. Oh, and also give us Rodrigo because he’s a traitorous such-and-such.

Filippo: NOT RODRIGO I LOVE HIIIIIIIIIIIM

The Grand Inquisitor: IF YOU DON’T I’M HANDING YOU OVER TO THE INQUISITON

Filippo: Fiiiiiiiine. But can’t we just move on?

The Grand Inquisitor: Perhaps...a super-ominous perhaps...I’m out.

Filippo: Why must church always beat state?

Elisabetta: SOMEONE TOOK MY JEWELRY BOX AND ALSO THE SPANISH COURT SUCKS

Filippo: I HAVE IT UNLOCK IT

Elisabetta: HOW ABOUT NOPE

Filippo: FINE I’LL UNLOCK IT- YOU HAVE A PORTRAIT OF CARLO?!?!?!?!

Elisabetta: But what’s so wrong with having a portrait of my stepson? I would never cheat on you-

Filippo: YOU’RE A CHEATING WHORE

Rodrigo: WTF FILIPPO 

Eboli: ...Oh no. I screwed up.

Filippo: Wait, actually I don’t think she cheated on me. How could she?

Rodrigo: I MUST SAVE CARLO EVEN IF I DIE

Elisabetta: I’m a stranger in a strange land and I just want to die already.

Eboli: Elisabetta, I screwed up big time. I gave Filippo your jewelry box because I was jealous of you because I love Carlo too.

Elisabetta: That’s okay. I forgive you.

Eboli: ELISABETTA NO I’M A HORRIBLE PERSON BECAUSE I ACCUSED YOU OF HAVING AN AFFAIR BUT I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH YOUR HUSBAND

Elisabetta: You have twenty-four hours to either go into exile or go to a convent. Your choice. Be happy. This is me being super passive-aggressive. Also, give me that crucifix you borrowed back. I’m outta here.

Eboli: ...I definitely screwed up big-time! And it was all because of my beauty, and my pride, and AHHHHHHH I’M SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON AND I BETRAYED ELISABETTA

Eboli: Wait a sec, they’re going to kill Carlo?! NO NO I HAVE ONE DAY LEFT AND I WILL SAVE HIM