#forgetting to look after an animal is an oddly common dream for me

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

How tf did my parents have a baby when they were my age? I forgot to drink water or go to the bathroom all day, I think if I had a baby I'd forget it exists. I wouldn't even trust myself with a hamster. I've had dreams where I've forgotten to feed a dog for weeks and woken up in a cold sweat

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

2. twisted

The cartoon that came out of the machine was pretty as a picture, perfect in almost every detail, and had a bubbly, positive personality. But she was not what Joey had wanted Susie to become. (Set in an AU where Joey gets perfect toons from his freshly killed employees and STILL isn’t happy, the unpleasable bitch…)

“Progress report to GENT home office, Client; Joey Drew Studios.

With the addition of the new ink recipe to use in the machine, we have made an unbelievable leap in progress and have almost met our client’s expectations. What had started as a machine to mold life sized figures out of ink has now done things that border on being supernatural.

Although Mr. Drew seems unimpressed, even frustrated with the results at times, in spite of the fact that the models have come out identical to their cartoon counterparts.

The process of running the cartoon film through the machine for the figures to imprint on has been successful, but it looks like that unless someone goes through the trouble of making a short that only has ONE character in it, the machine picks what character it makes at seemingly random. That is our client’s complaint; that instead of being user chosen, the machine picks out which living, breathing, thinking ink models it makes at random. Upon working on this, if I were to be in the client’s shoes, I’d have several valid complaints regarding the machine and the models it created, but our client’s complaint… Is that the machine that doesn’t have a system that allows the user to pick and choose which model it makes yet creates a physically flawless model every single time, does not allow the user to pick and choose which model it makes. He never ceases to infuriate me.

On a sour note, there was an incident with the figure in the likeness of a character called ‘The Brute’. Upon its creation, it immediately went and broke our client’s leg in a very… well, brutal fashion too. But fortunately, it has not physically attacked anyone since The Cameraman figure was made as we have threatened to separate them if it keeps up that behavior. It still likes to insult people, and it still does things that unnerve me though. We’re hoping that the rest of the figures will be less violent and or creepy.”

Thomas clicked off the recording and sighed as he looked at the newly made report, there was no way he could submit this to his boss without someone sending in someone to make sure he wasn’t huffing in ink fumes and whatever the Studio workers smoked to consider any of this to be normal.

“Hey Tommy! I think I figured out the issue with the machine! Or rather, its fuel.”

The mechanic grit his teeth and turned to face his client.

“What? I wasn’t aware that there was a problem with it.”

“Why, Tommy, how could you forget? I’m talking about the figure deposit problem of course! Why did we get The Brute when we wanted to get Boris? Why did we get Cameraman when we wanted Bendy? The answer was so simple, why, it was even staring at us the entire time!”

“Uh huh…” Thomas did not look convinced. “And what was this issue?”

“The ingredients, the Ink of course! You simply can’t put blueberry pancake batter in an oven and be surprised when you get blueberry pancakes instead of blueberry muffins, We got those two knuckleheads before we got the real stars of the show because the souls used to make them weren’t fit to make those two, but the machine still did what it does best: made living cartoons.”

Tom had an uneasy feeling in his gut as Joey grabbed his arm and led him to the Ink Machine’s room. He felt like a sheep being led to the slaughterhouse, he KNEW what went down in there! He knew the other ingredients, not well, per say, but for long enough to judge them and their characters.

He didn’t shed a single tear when Sammy was used in it, in fact, he was rather pleased with the results before it started acting out like that. He and the music director were almost always at each other’s throats for one reason or another. If you asked him, the ex-musician was strange, rude, clearly mentally unstable, and sometimes even cruel. And even if he wasn’t, his physical health had declined so much over his time at the studio that it was obvious that he would die regardless of whether or not he was put in the machine. Feeding Sammy to that machine was an act of mercy, really, and even if it wasn’t, it served him right to become a- err, The Brute and have him put the former musician in his place- put his villainous ways to a decent cause. Now if only someone could ensure for a fact that The Brute would behave...

Now the other ingredient, Norman Polk, was a different story. The man was old, weird and kinda creepy. On the surface, the man was an ideal candidate. Like Sammy, he would die anyway and nobody would miss him when he did. But on the contrary, he seemed like he still had some good years left in him. And while he was weird and creepy, he had been those things in an oddly endearing way that most of the studio had either liked or tolerated enough to not be bugged by it. The mechanic didn’t know how to explain it, that man reminded Tom of a mysterious, mostly-estranged relative that shows up out of nowhere and was always there for you even if you don’t always see him. So when the man snooped too much for his own good and had to be silenced… Tom could never look the resulting toon in the eye, or in his case, the lens.

But the mechanic couldn’t deny that it needed to be done, after all, the former projectionist was far too nosy for anyone’s sake. Nobody who knows the secret of the Ink Machine (or rather, it’s unconventional secret ingredient needed for its ink) should be free to wander the studio and spill the beans.

And a feeling in his gut was beginning to tell him that that was why he was the next on the chopping block.

He had built it, he learned what it would take to make it work, he had done what it took to make it work, and it was working now; No more models that would only move a tiny bit before collapsing into puddles! No more off model models! No more issues aside from x, y, z… -No more reasons for Joey to keep him alive when it was now too dangerous to his business… 

A tiny voice at the back of his head told him it served him right. The creator of this unholy torture device would now be consumed by it, just like how the maker of the Brazen Bull was the first victim it claimed.

At this point, he was almost morbidly curious on who or what the machine would make him; would it poke fun at his past and make him that territorial junkyard guard, Canoodle? Would it ironically punish him for his greed by making him The Fat Cat of the show, Boswell Lotsobucks? Would it acknowledge that although he was a villain to the bitter end, he still tried to go clean only for demons to drag him back down his dark paths and make him into Charley? Thinking about it, any butcher gang member would be a good enough fit really.

He was a mix of relieved, disappointed, and horrified when he was brought into the room and saw the unconscious voice actress of Alice Angel strapped to a mobile operating table. Joey seemed to ignore his reaction as he proudly showed her off and began to monologue.

“Like Boris, Sammy was a musician, simple-minded, and was very loyal to those he considered friends until the bitter end. But what made Sammy more like the Brute then Boris- Aside from body type, obviously, was that Sammy had quite the short temper on him, one that got messed with often, and a tendency to hold onto a grudge that can’t be swayed away with a good meal or a bad joke… Just like our friend; the Brute.”

Tom stayed speechless as Joey continued his seemingly prepared and rehearsed speech.

“As for Bendy and Norman, well, it’s obvious that those too simply weren’t compatible in the slightest! Sure, they both have their mischievous sides, but that alone doesn’t make a man into a good imp… However, do you know who DOES have more in common with Mr. Polk? That’s right! A certain smart alec-someone who knows a thing or two about anyone, everyone, and everything whether he wants to or not. Someone with a darker, more jaded sense of humor than our little devil, someone who can lurk in the shadows, or in his case, ‘backstage’ for safety or to gather Intel, but be happy and proud to take the front stage when the need arises! ...Alright, I can see that Norman’s soul may have influenced the personality of our Cameraman, but at least he did it in ways that make sense to the character.”

The mechanic continued to stay silent as Joey continued.

“But the main point is: we know what to do to fix this little issue. If we want a main character, we need someone who embodies the soul of that character. And Ms. Campbell here said it herself; Alice is a part of her!”

“Joey…”

“Why, she’d be thanking us if she knew what was coming! This is a dream come true for her! She always seemed to be the happiest when she was singing our angel darling’s songs…”

As if he was snapped out of a trance, the mechanic pulled Joey to his face, gripping the animator’s arms tightly and shaking him up a bit.

“Joey! We can’t do this! Susie isn’t like Norman or Sammy. She’s young, healthy, and still has a lot to live for. Nobody would buy that she passed on from something out of the blue, or that she moved away without warning or telling anyone. Everyone in the studio loves her and talks to her frequently! If we do this, especially so soon, they will make the connection, and they will find out about this. It was bad enough when Norman went, imagine if someone as well loved as her went too!”

Joey just laughed and slapped Tom’s shoulder.

“Oh Tommy, all we need to tell them is that Susie got her big break and is Bringing Alice to life in ways never before seen! And to sell the illusion, also tell them ‘you know how those folks in Hollywood are with their schedules, always a bunch of busy bees.’ They’ll bite, you just have to trust me.”

“What if they don’t?” the mechanic argued. “What if they start snooping around and start to piece together what really happened to her?”

Joey’s smile wavered a bit, but remained steadfast.

“Well, we’ll just have to cross that bridge when we reach it. And when we do, we’ll have our answer!”

“Nnnnggghhh…”

Both of them shuddered when they heard the voice actress start to stir awake.

“I swore I used stronger stuff in her drink…”

“...Jo...Joey..? ..Mr. Conner..?” The voice actress’s real eye widened in horror as she looked around, and her voice wavered as she grew more and more frantic. “WHat’s going on?! Where am I- Why am I tied up?!”

“S-Susie! Everything’s perfectly fine my dear, you just need to calm down a bit and I’ll explain everything…” He subtly jabbed Thomas in the ribs with his elbow. “Tommy!” He hissed “Throw her in the machine already!”

The frightened voice actress began to struggle against her restraints while Tom hesitated. Joey shot him a glare as he strolled up behind Susie and put a ‘reassuring’ hand on the weeping angel’s shoulder.

“Joey, please… let me go… Don’t do this to me!” Tears were running down the woman’s face, her voice was soft and breaking from her stress. “Just let me go and I promise I won’t tell anyone…”

“Now, now, Susie, there’s nothing to worry about, yes I know this looks unsettling from your position… But you and Alice are going places, new, big places that most people only dream of seeing! You’re going to bring her to life in ways that will touch the hearts of generations!”

A flash of realization crossed her face.

“Joey… answer me this: when Sammy ‘died from untreated lung cancer’ did he actually die from lung cancer? And when Norman ‘died from a workplace injury’ did he really…?” her voice trailed off a bit with uncertainty before asking her third question. “Did their deaths have anything to do with those two toons that showed up?!”

Her questions were not answered by words, but with actions as the two men stuffed her into the machine. When it turned on, her screams echoed throughout the mostly empty studio, chilling all who heard them to the very bone.

When they finally stopped, the machine whirred and roared to life and Joey rubbed his hands together in glee as he watched the machine work its magic.

Thomas, on the other hand, stood in silence while staring at his hands as dread and guilt sank in his gut.

The former man’s smile fell into a look of confusion when he saw a pair of gloves with ‘X’ marks on them come out, followed by arms that connected to them. That look of confusion fell deeper into a frown when he saw the arms stretch, curl, and twist when the gloves reached the floor as if they were streams of ice cream coming out of the machine at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Alice didn’t have arms that curled and stretched, but Joey knew a certain demoness toon who did; Miss Twisted. He was cursing under his breath, of course it would complete their little trio before giving him what he wanted! Now he wasted his one shot at getting Alice!

The rest of the toon didn’t even get out of the damn machine, it was like she was taunting him by continuing to stretch her arms and let them continue to coil in piles on the floor instead of showing him the finished product.

Furious, he marched over and grabbed the toon demoness’s arms and yanked her out of the damn machine.

“Stop messing around!” He scolded before pausing and reapplying his signature smile. “Your friends Brute and Cameraman have been worried sick about you ever since their creation! You wouldn’t want to keep them waiting for you any longer than they’ve already been, right?”

He could’ve been imagining it, but he swore that she had a look of pure terror on her face before she put on a fake smile of her own. And was it just him, or was this Miss Twisted’s left eye slightly discolored, glassy looking, if that made sense for someone with pitch black pie-cut eyes. The grayer eye she had reminded him of Susie Campbell’s fake eye.

“Y-yeah! You’re right!” She pushed Joey out of her face, clearly uncomfortable by his staring but pretending to be perfectly fine. “I can’t keep my boys waiting for too long, who knows what they’ll do?” She chuckled nervously. “So… where are you keeping them? where are they hiding?”

“Tommy here will be happy to show you, just follow him and-”

“Thanks!”

The demoness chipperly chirped and swiftly yanked Thomas out of the room at a speed that almost insulted the man.

[cyanidefilledcandy]

I’m about to talk about death, so...

So, last night, I had another dream about my little sister. Oddly enough, I don’t dream about her super often and I was and am both...disturbed and grateful for that.

It’s not unusual for me to dream about dead relatives I was close to. My grandmothers (my paternal and maternal and maternal great grandmother), I dream about frequently. (My paternal grandfather not so much, and that makes me sad and makes me feel like I must not have cared about him enough. ...though, the real culprit is likely memory. He died when I was in middle school; my grandmothers all died when I was in adulthood.) 

Usually when I dream about them, it’s like business as usual. It’s literally just mundane life things. We’re just going about our regular lives, and they’re just there like they had been when they were here. We talk a lot of the times, but it’s nothing significant; just regular conversation and they’re....just there.

With my sister, it’s been the complete opposite.

In EVERY dream I’ve had about my sister, she’s been dead. Except for one I had recently, and in the end, she just turned into my niece. And if she looks to be alive, then the dream will remind that she’s dead. Like one I had...

It was another of those mundane dreams where she, my mom, and I were in car driving, and she was in the backseat and we were just bantering. The subject of her pregnancy came up, but again, nothing out of the ordinary. We were just talking about how many issues she had. I jabbed at her that next time she would be in Georgia or a better hospital or just somewhere with better doctors. And she just kind of gave me an incredulous look and was like “WHAT next time?” and I just kind of stopped and was like “....oh right...” Cause she’s dead... And I’m honestly surprised that I thought that.

Again, usually in my dreams about my dead relatives, there’s nothing out of the ordinary to even suggest that they’re dead. And my sister and I used to have back and forths like that frequently, especially when her first child was born. I’d say something like, “When are you having the next one?” and she’d be like “Not.” Or “who?!” So for that to happen...

Maybe it’s because I felt....feel her death harder than any other I’ve experienced in my life...but I hate that even in my dreams, I can’t seem to think of her in any other context. As if there’s no reprieve from this most unfair reality. But last night’s dream was especially weird.

I was with someone...maybe it was my mom, and we drove up to the cemetery. I paused for a moment before getting out of the car. The other person turned to ask me, “Uh...do you know whose grave this is?” as if asking if I was SURE I wanted to get out and look. And I answered in a kind of “duh” fashion. We buried my sister next to my paternal grandparents, so I figured I could pay some respects to both of them. So, I got out and turned to their graves and they were covered by a plastic tent to protect them from the elements. I noticed it looked like a heavy storm was brewing like a hurricane or something. I then looked back to the graves and my sister’s coffin was out of the ground, open, and empty. It also looked like it had been ransacked. The lining in the lid was torn almost off and the was hanging out and getting wet in the muddy ground.

Of course, I was outraged and just as I was about to start a fight with someone, out a small building in the distance (the mortuary I somehow knew), out walks the female mortician who handled my sister, along with my maternal grandmother. They were both carrying my sister back to the coffin.

I instantly relaxed, knowing my grandma wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her. The mortician explains that they had to do something... I don’t remember what it was, but it was likely something that would only make sense in a dream. I nodded and waited for them to put her back in. This part is a bit fuzzier, but other members of my family were suddenly there and everyone was trying to prepare her coffin....or something. There were these little cloth dolls of I guess family members and people were trying to figure out which ones they wanted to keep and which ones they wanted my sister to be buried with. I remember they kept exchanging them or something, and they were some kind of collectable? Again, that part is really fuzzy.

The mortician finally puts my sister back and kind of haphazardly drop her in the coffin, like she was too heavy and she just couldn’t hold her anymore. Of course, I don’t like this, but figure I’m no one to criticize someone at their profession. My sister ends up not even fully in the coffin and the bottom padding is missing. She’s also wearing the wig I just bought, which looks amazing on her and much better than the one I ended up picking IRL. And then all of a sudden, she starts convulse every few seconds. Like a twitch or jump of her limbs and eventually, her mouth starts to hang open. Almost like she’s having a seizure. 

The mortician or my mom or someone tells me that “Don’t worry. Sometimes dead bodies move involuntarily and it means nothing. I’m annoyed because this is something I already know, even if part of me (I guess my waking mind) knew that she was way too animated for this to just be muscle spasms. 

The spasming gets worse to the point that she falls completely out of the coffin. This time however, her eyes open and her mouth is shut (because morticians wire them shut). She keeps convulsing and I’m repeating in my head that “this doesn’t mean anything. this doesn’t mean anything.” But suddenly her head goes back and her eyes are staring at me, desperately and I immediately know a horrible mistake was made.

Have you guys ever seen The Haunting of Hill House? That scene where Olivia has a vision of an adult Nell dead before she rises and desperately tries to beg Olivia to save her...this was very similar to that. She was even dressed in red like Nell was in the show (I had her dressed in red because it was her favorite color). Except my sister looked like she wanted to move and couldn’t. Like her body was too stiff and her mouth was wired shut, so she couldn’t speak and looked like she desperately wanted to.

So, I immediately go “Something’s wrong. We were wrong! She’s alive! Someone help her!” And I had a few people trying to calm me down. They weren’t exactly denying the fact just trying to calm me down. I get more and more frantic and weirdly see some kind of countdown...

And 3, 2, 1, I woke up and my sister was still and silent and I realized I had went through that all in my head. They ended up reburying her and my grandmother stood beside me crying. I hugged her and tried to give her words of comfort. I told her not to worry because her other grandmother and grandfather (the grandmother I was talking to’s husband) and Pepper (our childhood pet) were all looking after her. Again...the grandmother I was talking to is also dead and she died before my maternal grandmother did, so....that was weird...

The next part is a bit fuzzy, but I wound up having a conversation with my sister. We just casually talking about her experience of....dying and being buried? It seemed and felt like one of my other mundane dreams about dead relatives, but I knew very well that she was dead. She told me she was tired of the dolls she was buried with (those weird collectable family dolls) and she said a few other things, and mentioned that she just didn’t have an appetite and some other things where she was just sick and uncomfortable (similar to all the stuff she went through while she pregnant). I told her, “I’m sorry, baby.” And she said a couple other things again very casually before I woke up. 

Oddly enough...I felt strangely calm and peaceful when I woke up.

I don’t know if this is common or not, but my dreams MAJORLY affect my mood and usually whatever feeling I was feeling when I was dreaming carries on with me when I wake up. And not JUST when I wake up; it stays as if it happened to me IRL. Just like yesterday, where I had another apocalypse dream where me and my mom were at odds, and I was depressed all day yesterday. Or a major dream I had long ago where my sister got shot and was dying right in front of my eyes and I had to try and carry her to the hospital. I’ll never forget how she looked in that dream....literally dying. Usually when I dream of someone dying, it’s like a movie death. This dream was eerily realistic with how she was dying. ....that dream had me depressed and physically sick for days after, and has stuck with me... (I wasn’t kidding when I said my sister dying was my worst nightmare...)

I guess it was because we were just talking like normal. However, once I thought back on the dream and the strangeness of it, Depression set in fast. Though, it wasn’t so much the dream than I just feel that loss all over again.

IDK...I kind of wanted to document this dream because the strangeness of it, I guess. Some things I think I know what they mean or represent and others are just...weird...

Visiting the grave is obvious... I think the changing of her hair and shoddy state of the coffin is my own insecurities and unsatisfaction with how her burial was handled. Everyone tells me I did a good job with picking out everything, but I wasn’t satisfied at all with how she looked and I keep imagining if by some miracle I DO see her after death, that she’d have a few choice words. ...jokingly and good-naturedly, of course, but still...

I didn’t realize it until after I woke, but the convulsions she had I thought looked seizure like...and I wonder if that’s what my mind thinks happened in her last moments... I wasn’t there, but my mom just describes it has blood coming out of her eyes, nose, and mouth. That wasn’t present in the dream, but she also says that when she went, my mom couldn’t get her mouth to close...and the dream, her mouth was open when the convulsions started.

When she falls to the ground and looks at me desperately to help....I think it harkens back to a thought I had when she first died that maybe she wasn’t really dead, but in a deep coma and she would wake up in the coming days. Even after we buried her, part of me still held on to the belief that she wasn’t really dead and had the horrible idea of her waking up in her coffin under a ton of concrete and couldn’t get out (which has always been a deep dark fear of mine for myself). It’s a dumb thought...not only was she autopsied, but embalmed. I know it’s dumb, but when I said I went through every stage of grief at once, I mean it... Part of me is still going through all of those stages at once...Part of me is still searching desperately for a way to go back and save her from this fate...

Denial and bargaining...

The rest I’m not so sure about... I don’t know what the family doll things represent and I don’t know why my dream acknowledged that all my relatives were dead, except my maternal grandmother. I know her being with the mortician was just knowing she was in good hands with my grandmother. Maybe me dreaming of comforting her was just me wishing I had her here to go through this with... But who knows?

I know this was a HELL of a long read. I don’t expect anyone to actually read through this shit. I just wanted to get it out and....analyze it I guess. And also just...DO something with this grief instead of just replaying the dream in my head on repeat all day...

If one of you DID read this, I appreciate that you think so highly of me to read through my long-winded ramblings. ....and I’m also sorry for that because I’m not worthy of that. But, I love you dearly.

[ablogcalledrevenge]

I’m so intrigued as to why you hated Peter Rabbit so much omg. Please tell!!

I’m putting this under a read more because it got really long and complicated. Sorry, but I have a lot of feelings and thoughts about this and Peter Rabbit is the vessel.

That being said, if you like the movie, that’s okay! You’re allowed to like it and you shouldn’t let me make you feel bad. I love tons of bad movies! Spice World always makes me smile!

Also I want to say that I am not blaming or mad at the actors, crew, the CGI people. Like they did the best with what they had and I don’t fault them. I mostly blame the writers, director, and producers. Especially the producers.

BUT we can’t forget that, at the end of the day, this movie was a cashgrab, merchandise factory of a movie. This is, as my old roommate coined, a parking ticket movie. Basically the only reason half of the people worked on this movie was because they got a bad parking ticket and needed some quick cash. I do not believe for a second that Margot Robbie or Domhnall Gleeson looked at this script and went “yes, this seems like exactly the kind of children’s movie I’ve always dreamed of doing.” Everyone involved with this film did it for the money or because they were contractually obligated. And honestly, that’s okay. I could live with that. These are their jobs and they’re allowed to make money. But when you do a project because you’re forced to, or for the payout, it shows in the work. We can tell when your heart’s not in it. But the movie had bigger issues than the motivations behind it.

1. The movie didn’t have a good villain. Perhaps this is because I’m older and have more sympathy but Thomas McGregor is a very ineffectual villain. We start the movie, meeting him, as if he were the main character! We see that he’s a bit of a control freak and that he can be a little rude to people and then we see him lose his job and have a mental breakdown. He gets this house in the country and all he wants to do is sell it and move on. The rabbits are actively (and against their own desires, but we’ll get into that later) working against him to make selling the house harder. This guy’s supposed to be the villain? This guy who basically lost everything in his life and just wants to go home and spends half the movie getting electrocuted because he doesn’t want animals in the house when he’s trying to sell it? Maybe it’s because Domhnall can make anyone charming, or maybe it’s poor writing, but I watched the movie asking why I was supposed to hate McGregor. He hadn’t done anything wrong! To be honest, as you go through the movie it seems like the rabbits are the antagonists! If the movie was hoping to make him a Cruella DeVil figure, they failed. Thomas is a sad, broken man and I just felt bad for him. Also I don’t enjoy seeing my husband getting beat up by CGI rabbits, it’s embarrassing, but that’s beside the point.

2. The romance between Bea and Thomas is forced, unnecessary, and unlikely to last. Considering they’re supposed to get married and have a baby in the sequel, I think it’s even more ridiculous. The third movie will have them getting a much needed divorce. Like this is a kid’s movie, I don’t know why it needed a romance?? But basically Bea and Thomas have absolutely nothing in common. This isn’t a cute ‘opposites attract’ thing, this is that their values and morals and desires don’t match up at all. They’re completely different people! The fact that Thomas spends the whole movie basically lying to get Bea to like him should be proof enough that whoever wrote the characters never intended them to be a legitimate couple. They’re pushed together because, idk it’s a movie and we have to have a happy ending which means a wedding because apparently we’re in Shakespeare’s time?? People are allowed to be friends and they work better as friends! Also do you think Bea knows anything about shibari? That’s what Thomas needs and you expect this little granola painter to be able to tie him up and rough him around? Oh please.

3. The movie is just bad. The humor and plot are very weak and the characters are mostly one dimensional. I think I laughed once during the entire time I watched it. I must admit, in an effort for transparency, that I didn’t finish the movie. I had to stop watching after 45 minutes because I couldn’t take anymore. What does it say about your movie that 45 minutes in and the plot hadn’t really even started yet? It was ALL exposition and that’s bad! This is a kid’s movie, the action needs to start sooner! The humor was oddly topical and unoriginal; the whole movie was. It was clear this was a rip off of Home Alone, Alvin and the Chipmunks, 101 Dalmatians, The Minions. If not through plot than through style. Playing a Top 40 song during an opening scene doesn’t make your movie better, it just makes it lazy. It’s clear you didn’t pick “Feel it Still” by Portugal the Man because it added something to Peter’s character. You added it because people know the song and it will make them sing along and smile. The plot is weak too, it doesn’t make sense. The whole point is that the rabbits want McGregor to leave... he does too! They actively sabotage themselves by pulling all these stunts on him. If they had just left him alone for 2 weeks, he could’ve sold the house and left. He probably would’ve sold it to some rich family that wouldn’t care about a garden full of animals! But instead they realize Thomas doesn’t like them and decide to electrocute him and humiliate him because he doesn’t want them in his garden for a specific amount of time that has an end date. Until the rabbits bothered him, Thomas didn’t care about them! If they had left him alone, he wouldn’t have ‘fallen in love’ with Bea and their other problems wouldn’t have happened too! They caused their own misery! What is this plot?! 

4. Bea is just an idiot and I can’t stand her. No shade to Rose Byrne because she is literally so pretty but the character is very dumb and annoying. She’s supposed to be Beatrix Potter which is also a very strange inclusion considering Beatrix was a real person and had her own life, just saying. But anyway, we can see early on in the film that Bea can communicate with the rabbits. They respect her and listen to her. So why does she let them, and at times, instigate them towards McGregor’s garden! She knows how dangerous it is and that Peter’s dad died there. They literally have the whole forest and her property and they can’t stay out of a 10 square foot garden? If she cares about those rabbits so much why doesn’t she grow some vegetables? Why doesn’t she stop them from bothering the guy who clearly wants nothing to do with them? She’s so caught up in ‘respecting nature’ and ‘being an artist’ that she’s so oblivious to everything else in her life and completely useless in every other way. Thomas deserves a better partner and Beatrix Potter deserved a better interpretation.

5. The characters are mean. Peter Rabbit is supposed to be a bit of a rascal and a scamp. He’s a troublemaker compared to his goody-two shoes siblings. We know this, it’s in the books. But everyone in this movie, especially Peter, is just so mean! Every other comment he makes is something disparaging against Benjamin or one of the other animals. He spends the whole movie being rude and dismissive and cocky. We’re supposed to root for this character? At times, considering his dialogue, Peter seems like more of an antagonist than Thomas. At least Thomas is nice to Bea, at least Thomas, in the beginning, only tries to keep the rabbits out and not hurt them. Peter’s a jerk and I don’t like his character. I don’t like any of the animal characters, they’re all so sarcastic and unsympathetic. So much of the ‘humor’ comes from one of the characters making fun of another and the jokes fall flat because of it. Beatrix Potter’s characters have such a softness to them, they invoke warm and cozy feelings. This movie was such an insult to her work.

Right before Peter Rabbit came out, I saw the Mr. Rogers documentary. Seeing him be so passionate about children’s media really made me think about the stories we give our kids. They deserve better than this recycled garbage! They deserve better characters and better stories. They deserve to be treated like human beings with brains and feelings and talents, instead of just mindless meat bags we plop in front of a screen to keep them out of our hair. I’m not saying that we can’t have entertainment that’s silly or stupid but when every kid’s movie is exactly the same, I start to feel bad. Children deserve quality! 

So here’s my pitch for a Peter Rabbit movie: Up until Thomas goes to drop the rabbits in the river, everything is the same. I would make Peter and his siblings nicer and more inclined to work together as a team but otherwise everything is the same. Then, right before Thomas drops the bag, he stops. What is he doing? What has his life become? He’s about to kill innocent animals because he lost his job? He sinks down on the bridge and starts to cry. He starts telling the rabbits, because he has no one else, how terrible he feels. His job was the most important thing to him. He has no friends, no hobbies, no direction. He doesn’t know what to do with his life now. Maybe Peter pokes his head out and snuggles up to Thomas, showing empathy. Thomas goes on to say that while he enjoyed his job, he realizes now that he wasn’t truly happy and that getting revenge won’t make him happy. He looks down and sees the binoculars, the first gift he’s gotten in years. He looks and sees the rabbits curling up against him and he thinks maybe he doesn’t have to sell the house. Maybe he doesn’t have to go back to his life. So, with the help of his friend Bea and the rabbits, Thomas learns how to calm down and enjoy life. He learns to appreciate the small things and respect the beauty of nature. Maybe there’s a funny montage of Thomas trying to mow the lawn or garden. Maybe he makes everyone dinner with his vegetables and it’s really bad and everyone makes a funny face. It ends (a little like the original ending) with Thomas realizing that he may have lost his successful glamorous job in the city, but now he has friends. Now he has people who care about him and good food on his table. So the movie ends on a toy shop. Thomas is showing a little boy how to fly a remote control plane. Benjamin and Cottontail are in the middle of a tea party with a little girl. Bea is wrapping a gift for customer and Flopsy gets her paw stuck in the bow. Everything seems perfect and wonderful when we hear a huge crash offscreen. PETER! End Credits

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @greenleaf1316!

Summary: Five times Laura played matchmaker for Stiles and Derek and one time she didn’t have to. Or: Laura’s guide to dating.

Autor’s notes: This is a Sterek Secret Santa 2019 gift for green-leaf, who asked for, among others, Fluff and Feels, Lydia, and Hale Family. I tried to make something lighthearted and it involves Laura and Lydia, although I couldn’t hold back angst completely – there is a mention of Kate and her relationship with Derek, although it’s vague.

I hope you’ll like the story! I admit I had some trouble finishing it because I didn’t have enough time (real life, am I right?) so if there are any mistakes, I’m sorry about that.

Inspired by isthatbloodonhisshirt's fic Get Together (Or So Help Me!).

That said, merry Christmas! May sterek stay strong with you.

*****

Tuples

The Things You Have in Common, Or, The Revelation

Laura doesn’t know what it is about mathematics that makes her think of anything but mathematics.

“A tuple,” says Deaton, “is a list of elements. What’s interesting about them, however, is that they can have different data types. I will explain this further during the math club if anyone’s here interested…”

And Laura is already watching Lydia’s perfect notes, her manicure, then turns to stare out of the window. At least she isn’t the only one to not pay attention to the class – Derek is scowling at his notebook, tightly gripping his pen. He grimaces and carefully whites out the pink heart that was drawn on the margin.

Honestly, Laura doesn’t know what’s the fuss about. Sure, Paige was nice, pretty, and funny, but it’s been so much time already. Things haven’t been that good between them for a while and it was coming, anyone could see it. Yet Derek always makes the same expression when thinking about her.

Paige had to move out because of her parents but it was an opportunity. Even Derek admitted she should go to this music school she's been dreaming about. However, he was marathoning Star Wars later, and sometimes Laura still catches him coming back to the films.

Laura sighs and looks away, a flash of something catching her eyes. It’s a keychain with R2-D2 hanging from Stiles’ bag. Because Stiles likes Star Wars.

And he likes Batman. 

And comic books.

By the end of the class, Laura’s notebook is full of things common for Stiles and Derek instead of tuples, sets, and multisets.

As there’s a bell signaling the end of the class, Laura breathes, “I’m a genius.’”

* * *

“You’re an idiot,” says Lydia.

“Give me one reason for why that’s a bad idea,” replies Laura, raising her index finger. 

“First, you’re making Derek fall into another relationship when he doesn’t want to. Second, you’re not giving him enough time to grieve. Three, what have I told you about amatonormativity? Expecting everyone to be better off in a monogamous-“

“Relationship, yeah, I know. But I’m not making them do anything,” says Laura. “I’m just… creating… possibilities. Just giving Derek a little push. Besides, how much time does he need? Come on, it’s been almost a year, and that thing with Paige wasn’t all that serious.”

Lydia doesn’t answer, so Laura continues, “And hey, at least I’m not heteronormative. So. Will you help me?”

“Of course not.”

 School As A Natural Habitat  

“I can’t believe I’m here,” says Lydia again.

“Shh. We’re observing them in their natural habitat, they can’t know we’re here.”

“They already know we’re here, it’s our school. And since when is school a natural habitat?”

Laura ignores her and lowers her voice. ‘Now we can see as the predator stalks his prey-“

“Wait, Stiles is the predator?”

“Well, it’s not Derek, right?” reasons Laura.

“You’re right.”

“The predator stops, analyzing his prey, his gaze gone cold and calculating, imagining the best way to conquer-“

“You think too highly of Stiles.”

“-but it means nothing when faced with the fiery heart of burning passion and desire. Stiles can’t stop himself anymore – he wants, no, he needs to see Derek-“

“Wait, how did it turn from an animal documentary to a soap opera?”

Laura shrugs. “I just describe what I see.”

“How does your brain work?”

Stiles comes up to Derek, they exchange a few words, and then Stiles nods and goes away.

Laura blinks. “Considering they are perfect for each other, that was rather disappointing.’

“Well, what did you expect?’

“Frankly, the same enlightenment I had during the mathematics. Like, they would see each other just understand, you know?”

Lydia makes a face. “I really don’t.”

“What do you think they talked about?”

“Probably math project.”

Laura slowly turns to Lydia, the hope reviving inside her. “Oh my god, you’re right.”

“What? Why?” asks Lydia, stiffening. 

“They can work together for the math project. See? It’s all about possibilities.”

Lydia looks at her. “It always makes me nervous when you agree with me and it’s always for a good reason.”

* * *

2. Cinema Date To Get To Know Each Other

“Did you know that 0,5% of people find their significant others in a cinema?” says Laura. She has no idea what’s the real number but 0,5% sounds reasonable enough. “That’s why you should go to the cinema.”

Derek gives her his ‘you’re an idiot’ face but honestly, Laura can’t even acknowledge that he tries. He’s no half as good at it as Lydia. 

“You say that like it’s a lot but it’s really not.”

“If you go, you raise the probability of the already possible,” argues Laura. “Which means it’s gonna happen.”

“Look, even I can tell that’s not how it works.”

“Even I can tell you don’t know shit about dating.”

“That makes no sense!”

“Jesus, just go,” says Laura, directing Derek to the door. “Here’s your ticket. Row at the back, seat 10, you’re welcome. Oh, and by the way, you’re going with Stiles.” Laura grins and closes the door in his stunned face.

* * *

“You’re a terrible date,” says Lydia. “Late, focused on other people, won’t accommodate my needs-“

“Your needs are stupid,” replies Laura, rolling her eyes. Who doesn’t like caramel popcorn?

“If you’re hungry we can go to the Red Sun restaurant after the movie.”

“I’m not going there, they always eye me oddly when I’m there.”

“That’s just because you had worn jeans, sneakers, and Wonder Woman shirt back then.”

“My Cat Woman shirt didn’t help either.”

Lydia gives her one of her My Patience Is Eternal But You’ll See The End Of It looks. “Black and white colors aren’t enough to make something elegant, Laura.”

“Whatever. And I told you I was late because it took me ages to convince Derek to come.” Laura straightens, then hides behind her bowl of popcorn. “They’re here! Why are they arguing?”

Lydia watches the boys for a while. “Seems like they don’t like the film you’ve chosen.”

“How do you know that?”

“Lip reading.”

Laura blinks and glances at Lydia. “Sometimes I forget how amazing you are.”

“Then don’t,” advises Lydia. “Derek is entirely against the film but Stiles is trying to defend it. I don’t think it’s working.”

“Free tickets,” mutters Laura, “and they still have problems. Well excuse me, but I didn’t have much room to choose from.”

“About that – why did you choose a romantic comedy?”

Laura raises her eyebrows. “Uh, so that they make a connection between love and themselves.” She barely holds back a ‘duh’. 

“I don’t think that’s how a human brain works,” replies Lydia. “Also, are we going to talk about ethical repercussions of you stalking them?”

“I have good intentions so it’s fine,” replies Laura easily.

“You know, sometimes I’m jealous of how simply you see the world. But no, Laura, you’re stalking Derek and Stiles. It’s creepy.”

Laura mulls it over for a second. “How about I tell them later about it? And buy them food to apologize.”

“You can bribe Stiles and Derek, but it won’t work on your moral judgment.”

Laura frowns. “Wait, you think I’ll feel bad about it later? I won’t.”

Lydia shakes her head. “You sure are something else. Come on, they already went inside the movie room.”

They start walking, trying to remain hidden from Stiles and Derek.

“Oh, it’s like we’re detectives on a case! Hold my pipe, Watson.”

Lydia makes a face. “Sherlock Holmes never said that. How come it’s the first thing that came to your mind? And was it supposed to be sexual?”

“Oh,” notices Laura and laughs. “Man, I’m hilarious.”

3. Bowling Date With Mutual Friends

“Hey guys,” says the waiter and smiles at them. “Double date?”

Laura’s smile freezes for a second. She doesn’t like the thought and is surprised herself to see how much. It’s not the first time someone thought she and Stiles are dating, and the sheer thought that Lydia and Derek would date is ridiculous. Even back when Lydia was dating Jackson Laura was always rolling her eyes at the mention of two of them. 

Derek is the first to react. He looks at the waiter seriously and says, “Never.”

“Oh, you wish you were on a date with me,” shoots Stiles.

“I can’t imagine a fate worse than that,” replies Derek. “I’d die of secondhand embarrassment.”

“I can be charming when I want to,” replies Stiles, defensive. “it’s just that there’s no point to make an effort for you.”

“That’s just it, you have to put an effort to be even remotely dateable. And it’s not worth it,” says Derek. “Dates are just… meh.”

Stiles raises his eyebrows. ‘Evidently, you’ve never been on a date with me.”

“No, evidently, you’ve never been on a date, period,” counters Derek. “You have to make conversation, think of the other person, plan everything, be nice and funny�� It’s not worth it,” Derek repeats.

Stiles frowns. “Then how about you go on a date with someone you already know a bit?”

Laura watches in tension, wondering if that’s the moment one of the boys – or maybe even both – will realize. 

“But there’s no one that I know and am interested in.”

“Huh. Well, that sucks,” comments Stiles.

“It’s not that bad,” Derek shrugs. “I got used to it.”

“It’s not a double date,” says Laura, turning to the waiter, “but it will be,” she promises darkly.

“Four cokes and one alley for an hour,” orders Lydia and watches the waiter leaving to prepare the drinks. She sighs deeply and says, “Tell me all about a secondhand embarrassment.”

* * *

“So I take it not one of us knows how to play bowling,” grins Stiles.

“I think I’m pretty good,” says Derek.

“Not you,” replies Stiles coldly. “You’re a freak when it comes to sports.”

“You don’t have to be jealous,” says Derek, condescending. “I could teach you.”

“Aren’t you the picture of an arrogant jock,” says Stiles. “Together with not understanding the basic concepts of math.”

Derek’s smirk falls off.

“Right!” Laura claps her hands. “Do you guys know already with whom you’ll be doing math project?’’

“Lydia?” asks Stiles hopefully.

“No way,” replies Laura. “Lydia’s with me.”

Lydia narrows her eyes thoughtfully. “As long as you promise a few strikes and at least one 5-bagger.”

“Promise.”

“I’m sold,” states Lydia. 

“Don’t leave me like that! I know nothing about bowling.”

No one would believe something like that coming from Stiles. 

“Fine, I may have read about it a bit,” Stiles huffs out. “I know the best techniques and all this shit but it’s not enough. It’s never enough,” he adds bitterly.  

“Come on, how hard it can be?” asks Laura. “You’re just rolling a ball.”

“You have no right to speak,” replies Stiles. “You’re a freak like Derek.”

“And that’s why I’ll be in a team with Lydia and you’ll be in a team with Derek. For math project, too.”

“No way,” says Stiles. “I’d rather be in a team with you, and Lydia can be with Derek.”

Laura grimaces. “You want to play into the waiter’s expectations?”

“Why not? It’s funny,” says Stiles.

“Wouldn’t it be funny if he thought it was a double date but with me and Lydia and you and Derek?”

Stiles and Derek stare at her.

“No,” says Stiles. “That would be just weird.”

‘’You sound like a straight guy,” says Laura.

“Now that’s just offensive.’’

In the end, though, that’s how they play. Lydia and Laura win, although Derek does try to tutor Stiles. He gets considerably better but Laura did get a 5-bagger. She may boast about it.

4. Romantic Restaurant Date

“Derek opened the door for Stiles. They both dressed up nicely. They are still civil to each other. What the hell,’’ muses Laura, watching them through the aquarium, “my plan is actually working.”

“You sound way too surprised considering how confident you were in your project.”

“Oh please,” says Laura. “My idea is brilliant, Derek and Stiles should be together. It’s just that I was going about it the wrong way. I mean, let’s face it – Derek’s hopeless. Stiles is the one who can bring them together.”

“Is that so?” asks Lydia. Just as she opens her mouth to say something more, the waiter comes to take their orders. They talk for a while and once the waiter leaves, Lydia says, “Oh, Stiles is reading a book.”

“Hm?” Laura doesn’t take her eyes off of the menu. If there’s one thing she loves about Red Sun, it’s the steaks. Just imagining the taste of each one is a pleasure in itself.

“Stiles took out a book and now is reading it aloud to Derek,” explains Lydia.

Laura frowns and tries to watch the boys through the aquarium. She thought it was smart to take this table, to observe and not be seen, but it’s difficult to guess what’s exactly going on through the mass of water, algae, and fish swimming around.

“This dork,” she says finally, disbelieving. “I gave him The Manly Art of Seduction book under the excuse of him mentioning dating a lot during bowling. He was supposed to read it and try all of the moves on Derek! It even has a whole chapter about seduction at a restaurant.”

“They are laughing at all the advice,” observes Lydia. “At least they seem to be having fun.”

“I want them to be together, not have fun,” replies Laura, put off. “Can you tell what they are talking about?”

“No way, I can’t see them clearly through the water.”

“I’m going to the bathroom and will try to listen in,” says Laura. “They won’t recognize me like this, right?” she asks, gesturing at her clothes.

“Even I have a hard time believing it’s you,” says Lydia. “You look so nice today.”

Laura rolls her eyes and stands up.

“Basically, the right smile is the basis,” says Stiles now. “Give me your best smile, Derek.”

Laura doesn’t see the expression Derek makes, but it makes Stiles lean back from him. “Whoa, okay, it is an invitation to intimacy but of a deathly kind, you know? You should be friendly and relaxed, not dreadful and deranged. Come on, no smile, no game.”

“I don’t need a game,” replies Derek. “You want to be seductive and shit, you try that.”

Laura’s already passing them but she still hears when Derek asks, “Why are you winking? Jesus.”

Already on her way there, Laura decides to go to the toilet. Once inside, she catches her reflection in the mirror and has to pause. 

She really looks different. Laura has never liked to wear jewelry and fancy clothes because they tend to hinder movements which makes no sense to her. That’s exactly the reason she decided to dress this way tonight.

Now that she thinks of it, Lydia’s words might have a grain of truth to them. Laura is confident neither Stiles nor Derek will recognize her as they won’t even imagine Laura being this elegant – they’d just assume it’s a look-alike. That’s also why Laura didn’t even bother to color her hair like Lydia. 

On her way back, she again slows down her pace to listen to Stiles and Derek.

“It’s your shoe,” says Stiles. “It’s weird. I can’t focus, it’s shape is wrong.”

“It’s a normal shoe, Stiles.”

“And your pants. The material feels strange when I rub it.”

“Shut up and rub. It was your idea to try it out and get better.”

Their voices are hushed so she can’t hear as much as earlier, although that may be for the better. Because, okay, Laura must admit she feels a bit weird. As much as she thought about Stiles and Derek’s relationship, she’s never considered its… physical side. 

She finds her table and sees that the entry was served already. Awesome – she’s hungry and can’t wait to try Red Sun’s food, the restaurant has never failed her. Yet now, instead of eating, she watches Lydia.

She’s beautiful, of course. Lydia’s always taken care to be elegant. Tonight, she has a new dress and earrings which bring out the green in her eyes.

“Well?” asks Lydia.

“Stiles and Derek are playing footsie.”

Lydia raises her eyebrow. “They are lucky the tablecloths here are long enough.” She turns to watch the boys for a second. “Who’d have thought, they seem quite serious about it.” 

Laura makes a face. “We don’t have to do that, right?”

“Why would we have to?”

“I don’t know, it feels like we should do that. There’s always this scene in the movies,” replies Laura. “When characters dress nicely.”

Lydia shrugs, not looking at her.

‘So we won’t play footsie,” repeats Laura to make sure. “I mean, it’s not like you need to train, right? To get more confidence or something. Be charming. Whatever.”

It’s a while before Lydia replies, bringing a glass to her mouth to sip some water and put it down. “Yeah,” she says slowly. “We won’t.”

Laura already knew the answer but the time it took Lydia to answer kind of annoys her. “Yeah. Footsie is not, like, cello, it’s not based on the muscle memory,” she adds. 

“I was thinking of telling you sometime so I suppose it can be now. I’m gay, Laura,” says Lydia. “I like girls more than boys.”

Laura’s mind blanks for a minute, then starts working a mile a minute. “Oh,” she manages through it all.

“I didn’t mean to hide it from you,” adds Lydia, sounding apologetic. “I just wanted to make sure first.”

“Make sure,” echoes Laura. Because Lydia is a lesbian. Right. You need to make sure of it first, huh? Yeah. 

Lydia nods. 

Laura wills herself to react normally. “It’s good that you know now,” part of her brain says. The other one still freaks out, even though, honestly, there’s nothing to freak out about. When she heard that Derek was bi and that Stiles was gay it made no change to her. But this is Lydia. She was, like, dating Jackson. Sure, it wasn’t serious, but they were going on dates and stuff together. 

Lydia nods again. 

The silence stretches between them but Laura has no idea how to fill it in. She gives up altogether when the waiter comes up with their dishes. 

Halfway through the meal, Laura can’t believe her mind is still reeling from the news. She’s always thought of herself as an accepting person. Maybe she has this much difficulty now because they were always so similar, Laura has assumed Lydia was straight, too. To Laura, sexuality has never been a question. She liked boys. What’s there to think about?

Boys.

Laura suddenly remembers about Stiles and Derek and snaps her head to them. Fortunately, nothing’s going on. They are eating desserts and talking, so Laura turns away.

She frowns at the last bite of her steak and looks at them again. It’s actually going really well. Stiles must have just said a joke as he grins expectantly at Derek, who huffs out a laugh and looks at him from under his lashes. 

“Oh, seriously?” she asks, breaking the silence, and looks at Lydia. She’s so frustrated she forgets about the atmosphere for a second. “They are still making fun of the advice in the book.”

Lydia observes them for a while. “Are you sure?”

“It’s chapter 10, ‘Body Language’ and Reading It. And it only makes Derek look stupid,” says Laura. At Lydia’s look, she adds, “I skimmed through it before giving it to Stiles.”

Lydia smiles. “Remember anything good?”

Oh. Laura didn’t know Lydia could make this expression. It’s like… it could mean something. Talking about flirting advice is not flirting itself, right? It’s just talking. How do you flirt? Lydia glances at her. It’s getting worse. How do you talk? “Uh-“

“Can I take your plates?”

Laura startles but nods at the waiter. 

“Can we have a receipt?” asks Lydia. 

“Sure.” The waiter leaves with their plates and Laura blinks. She kind of hoped for a dessert but then again, the atmosphere feels strange. No wonder Lydia wants to end this quickly.

* * *

During the weekend, Laura concludes that she’s a horrible person. No wonder Lydia cut their time short, she has all the reasons to avoid Laura now. She decides to apologize to Lydia on Monday and do whatever she asks, even if it’s taking a break from each other for a while.

However, when she sees Lydia the next day, she hears, “I’m sorry.”

Laura frowns. “Why?”

“I knew it was a surprise to you, yet I got frustrated that you weren’t 100% accepting.” 

“I, uh, I tried,” says Laura with a grimace. “It’s just, well-“ she deflates suddenly. “Yeah. It was a surprise.”

It’s better, but not that much better. During lunch, it irks Laura that Lydia glances at Allison passing them and blurts out, “She’s straight. She’s dating Scott McCall.”

Lydia shrugs. “I’m just looking.”

And it still annoys Laura. She’s never thought she could be this much of a homophobe.

The thoughts of Lydia take up space usually sacrificed for Stiles and Derek, which means that by the end of the week, she finds Stiles just to say, “No plans for the weekend. Do whatever.”

“Oh, that’s good,” says Stiles. “You finished your project?”

Laura shrugs. “Something like that.”

“I’m coming over to Derek to play some video games.”

Laura stares at him. “To Derek?”

“Yep.”

“You’re willingly spending time together?”

“Well, not exactly. We need to prepare this math project and something to motivate us. So we decided that each gets to pick something the other hates to do while we meet.”

“Huh,” manages Laura. “Okay. I don’t get it.”

Stiles shrugs. “What’s there to not get? It’s mutual suffering for the mutual benefit.”

“Right,” nods Laura, staring at Stiles, the shrugs again. “If it works.”        

“You’d be surprised.”      

5. Home Visit

Laura watches as the teabag sinks and resurfaces with the movement of her hand. The teabag’s string stays on the surface of the liquid and Laura thinks about surface tension. Her mother always makes tea when she needs to think about something and Laura stares down at the liquid, waiting for the results, but so far nothing. 

“Oh hey,” says Stiles, entering the kitchen. He looks at Laura for a moment. “You okay?”

“I’m thinking about surface tension.”

“That bad, huh?” Stiles pours himself some coke. “You can come to play sudoku with us.”

“Weren’t you supposed to play video games?”

“Derek’s turn,” explains Stiles. “It’s him tormenting me now.”

“Your fair system truly amazes me.” 

“Honestly, me too,” says Stiles and angles to the door. “Anyway, the offer stands.”

“Thanks, but I think I’ll go watch something.”

Derek’s always watching Star Wars when feeling down so Laura figures it wouldn’t hurt to try.

As The Force Awakens plays, Laura decides to try out Stiles’ method of using the sofa in every way but intended, with legs on the backrest and head on the floor. She still has no idea how to amend her relation with Lydia. 

She sighs and looks to the side, under the sofa. Like this, she can notice something pink standing out from a place just next to one of the sofa’s legs. Frowning, she reaches to take it but it seems to be fixed to the material. Curious, Laura forgets about the movie completely and slides to the floor.

It’s a piece of paper pinned to the material of the sofa. Laura takes the pin and carefully releases the paper.    

She sits back on the sofa, this time normally, and reads what turns out to be a note on a pink, girly  paper.

Derek,

I hoped you were more mature than that but part of the fault is mine, for expecting something from a child you turned out to still be. I don’t hold it against you, sweety. We could still have some fun but I won’t wait forever.

Kate

Laura reads the note again and then again, but the content still doesn’t make any sense. The only Kate Derek could know is younger than them and deep in her goth phase. She’d never use this kind of stationery, with the imprinted hearts on the side. Not to mention that the note seems to written by someone older. The ‘have some fun’ part makes her especially uneasy.

Well, no point in thinking about it. Laura stands up and is already going upstairs before it strikes her as really bizarre that Derek would pin the note under the sofa. She stops, frowning. If he wanted to hide it, he could do that very well in his room, but for some reason chose the living room, used by everyone in the family and the guests. 

This seems like the kind of thing you need to think about. Admittedly, that’s not Laura’s strongest point. What would Lydia do? 

First, she definitely wouldn’t confront Derek about it right away. Slowly, Laura turns away and comes back to still playing Star Wars.

She reads the note one last time and carefully pins it back to place. 

* * *

Laura waits. It’s not until Wednesday that she asks Lydia about the note. She wanted to have the time to think of something herself but it didn’t help. The longer she waits, the more it only unsettles her.

“Do you know if Derek knows someone called Kate?”

Lydia searches her locker for something but the moment she hears the name, she freezes. It’s just for a second, easy to overlook but Laura’s watching her closely. 

“You know something,” she says, surprised. “And I could tell that,” she realizes, amazed. “Like I’m a special agent or something.”

“Or something,” agrees Lydia, her mouth quirking before she sighs. “Yes, I saw them once together. I can’t tell you more, though. Derek wanted me to keep quiet.”

“That makes no sense,” argues Laura. “Why wouldn’t he tell me? I thought he was thinking about Paige all this time. I called him Hopeless Romeo Soulpuzzle.”

Lydia doesn’t answer. “How do you know about Kate, anyway?”

“Found a note from her.” Laura glances at Lydia and bites her lip. “Honestly, I don’t know what to do about it.”

Lydia doesn’t answer for a second. “If I were you, I’d talk to him about it. Say something like, I found this by chance, I admit I’m curious but also a bit worried? And I know it’s not my business but-“

“It kind of is my business, though,” Laura interrupts her. “I mean, I have vested interest in Derek being single so that he can date Stiles.”

“Oh, haven’t you heard? Derek asked Stiles out yesterday but got rejected,” says Lydia.

Wait. What? 

“What?” asks Laura stupidly. 

“Yeah, I’m not sure what this is about,” continues Lydia. “I’ll have to talk to Stiles later.”

“He wasn’t supposed to do that!” says Laura, stunned. “Stiles was supposed to ask Derek out! I got this whole thing wrong. I should’ve given Derek this Manly Art of Seduction book.” Laura blinks suddenly. “Oh well, actually, that’s for the better.”

“How is that for the better?” frowns Lydia, confused by her changed attitude. “Wasn’t your goal them dating? This is the opposite.”

“No, now that I think about it, I wanted to give Derek a push,” says Laura slowly. “Make sure he’s still there. And he is, right? He even asked Stiles out.” She mulls it over for a second, then shrugs. “Oh well,” she repeats. “It will be fine.”

“You sure are easy-going,” comments Lydia.

Laura shrugs. “I should buy him some ice cream. And keep Stiles away from me. I can’t be held responsible for my actions around him right now.”    

Lydia gives her an odd look. “Math club is about to start so you should probably-“

“Oh please,” says Laura, incredulous. “He won’t come to the math club right after he rejected Derek!”

“It was yesterday.”

“Same chance! He should be at home right now, crying in his pillow, tormenting himself and cursing everything that led him to reject Derek.”

“Um,” says Stiles awkwardly.

“I saw it coming from a mile away but it’s still satisfying,” comments Lydia.

Slowly, Laura turns to eye Stiles coldly up and down. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“We’re going to talk about tuples?” tries Stiles. “Look, don’t be mad, please. We can still be friends, right? Like, see, I’ll give you my keychain,” he shoves the R2-D2 towards Laura.

“I don’t like Star Wars,” Laura snaps.

Stiles frowns. “But this weekend you-“

“I was watching it because Derek always watches it to feel better.”  

Stiles has enough sense to drop his eyes. 

“So what is it about Derek that’s not good enough for you?”

There’s some mumbling that sums up to, “It’s not like that.”

“Well, tell me how it is, then.”

Stiles tightens his lips. “I didn’t exactly reject him, okay?”

“Oh, did you let him down gently?” asks Laura, scathing. “How kind of you.”

“I – it’s not like that,” he repeats, miserable. “It’s just… how can I tell that I can date him? I mean, sure, I like him but how do I know it’s enough to date? We could be just friends. What’s the threshold? How can I tell my liking is different?” asks Stiles. 

“You’re overthinking it,” mutters Lydia.

Stiles shrugs. “Anyway, I said ‘I don’t know if I can’.”

“And what did Derek say?”

This time, Stiles meets Laura’s eyes. “’I understand’.”

* * *

“I bought ice cream,” says Laura, still in the door. “I’m not sure if they are celebratory or if they are to cheer you up.”

“Me neither,” mutters Derek, already sitting before TV.

“Sucks.”

“Mm.”

They don’t say anything more until the end of A New Hope, when Laura speaks up, “I tried to set you up.”

“Hm?”

“With Stiles,” clarifies Laura. 

Derek rolls his eyes and takes another spoonful of ice cream. “You don’t say.”

“Wait, you knew?”

“Of course I did,” replies Derek, offended. “I just didn’t care. I like Stiles, so.”

In a sudden wave of affection, Laura hugs him. “I’m sorry. I feel like an asshole.” 

She stands up to play The Empire Strikes Back but looks at Derek first. “Can I ask why did you decide to ask him out?”

Derek shrugs and busies himself with the ice cream for a while. “He was talking about dating and stuff. That he needs to find someone, everyone has someone, is Danny still with his boyfriend, so I just. Snapped.”

“You snapped? What does that mean?”

Derek fixes his eyes on the ice cream carton, his cheeks coloring. “I said something like, ‘Just date me if it’s such a problem’.”

“Wow, talk about disappointing confessions,” mutters Laura. At Derek’s glare, she adds, “Sorry! But honestly. Did you say something more at least? Explain?”

Derek makes an odd move, something between trying to hide behind ice cream and a shrug. “Kinda.”

Laura groans. “Well, I’m waiting!”

Derek comes back to watching the ice cream. “I said that I like him.”

“You said why?”

Derek sighs. “Do I have to say that again? Because he’s funny and smart, and, and pretty? You know, the usual shit,” he tries, and fails, in nonchalance. “That he lights up the room. That I feel like I can be myself and it’s okay.”

Laura blinks. “Whoa, dude.”

“Shut up.”

“What did Stiles say to that?”

A tiny, stupid smile appears on Derek’s face. “He, uh. He liked it.”

Laura takes pity on his blush and plays the movie.

They are almost finished when Laura suddenly remembers about Kate and can’t stop thinking about it. When the end credits scrolls down, she can’t hold it anymore.

“There’s something under the sofa,” Laura blurts out.

Derek stops licking his spoon full of twirling caramel chocolate. “Wha-?” 

“Something, uh, something bad.”

“What are you talking about?”

Laura stares at the TV. “I may have found Kate’s note under the sofa.”

Derek tenses beside her but doesn’t say anything. It’s not a good sign, though – Derek will always win the silent wars.

“I didn’t know about her,” says Laura gingerly. “I thought you were still missing Paige or something.”

Derek doesn’t answer.

“Did she – was she – I mean, I kind of got the feeling that she-“

“She didn’t do anything,” says Derek, suddenly angry. “I was an idiot.”

Laura darts a look at him. “How old was she?”

“Twenty-eight.”

Now it’s Laura’s turn to stay quiet. She has no reply to that.

“I was an idiot,” repeats Derek. Laura winces at his tone, the self-hatred evident in a few sounds. “She didn’t do anything but she – she expected. She was waiting and kept talking to me and calling me a ‘child’-“ Derek breaks off, turning to the side.

“What happened?” asks Laura after a moment.

Derek shrugs. “She got bored. Moved out.”

“Can I ask you for something?” asks Laura, fiddling with the blanket.

Derek glances at her.

“I think you should throw it away. The note. Burn it in a ritual fire. Flush in the toilet. I don’t know, something, it’s disturbing that it’s still here.”

She didn’t expect an agreement, at least not an easy one, but Derek nods. “Okay.”

“Oh. Uh, really?”

“Stiles wants me to throw acid on it, too.”

“He knows about Kate?”

Derek shrugs. “Mentioned it.”

That requires some trust, right? Laura’s no expert but she can tell this much. This whole thing starts to look rather serious.

“Why is it here, anyway? If you wanted to hide it, you could’ve found a place in your room.”

“I wanted to remember it.”

“But what if someone found it?”

“What, like you did?”

“Oh. Right.” It makes an odd sense, she thinks. To hide but in a way that someone, sooner or later, would’ve found it. To not be able to say anything oneself, but wait for someone to ask.    

“I think I can stomach Return of the Jedi,” says Laura, looking at the TV. “I expect some help in return if I have some trouble with something. Like Lydia.” Wait, that sounded odd. “Something.”

“You two are like that?”

“Like what?” Laura makes a face at Derek’s raised eyebrows. “Gross, I’m not dating anyone,” she says with a shudder. “Although if I had to, I guess it’d be Lydia.”

“So you’re just friends?”

“We are not just friends. She’s my best friend and… I mean, we are not dating, I don’t even want that, but we aren’t just friends either.”

“Huh.”

“Actually, I’m sure Lydia knows a word for it. I’ll ask her about it.”      

“I kind of thought you were straight?”

“I don’t know what I am,” replies Laura. “I’m not straight because I like Lydia, but I’m not gay. I mean, I know the way Lydia looks at Braeden sometimes at the gym and… I don’t look like that at anyone. So I’m not bi either.”

“Huh. So, like asexual?”

Laura lets out the air. “Label is a label is a label,’ she says instead. “I don’t know. I mean, I guess? Whatever.”

+1. Your Everyday Dinner Date

Laura watches as Stiles eats Derek’s fries and Derek drinks Stiles’ milkshake. They argue about C-3PO, then discuss surface tension of the milkshake as Stiles drips his fry in it and Derek watches in horror but knows better by now than to stop him.

“When do you think they will realize they are dating?”

Lydia shakes her head. “They won’t. Ten years later, they’ll still think of themselves as platonic life partners or something.”

“I was thinking they might go down the friends with benefits way, except they have trouble setting boundaries.”

“Or the fake relationship. Everyone assumes they are dating so they decide to pretend to be dating to break up and have it over with, except they can’t quite just pretend.”

“Oh, I like this one,” Laura grins ad settles back in her seat. “Anyways, my plan totally worked.”

“It was a complete failure,” replies Lydia. “Your goal was to make them date.”

“There were a lot of goals, okay, they’ve changed, and many were achieved.”

“You can’t just change the goals.”

“Of course I can,” shrugs Laura. “It’s my plan.”

“I know I’ve said that a few times already, but I’m still impressed by your carefree attitude and easy-going nature.”

Laura bumps arms with her, smiling. She thinks back to the day she found Kate’s note, recalls heading to Derek’s room. Stiles was there then, wasn’t he? And it was just before Derek asked him out. Now that’d be a shitstorm if Laura went in to ask about Kate. “Good to have you to analyze everything.”

Lydia smiles back and Laura thinks suddenly of the talk she had with Derek. “Hey, is there like a name for when you’re friends, but more? Not like dating. Like, someone important, a friend, but not your… I don’t know.”

Lydia shrugs. “One that I just said. Platonic life partner?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“There’s also QPR. Queerplatonic relationship.”

“Hm. That’d suit us more, right?”

Lydia gives her an amused smile. “Is that your way of asking me out?”

“Is that your way of trying to embarrass me?”

Lydia nods. “Fair. Sorry. But is it?”

“Would you rather I call it a tuple like Stiles?”

Stiles grins. “My tuple rocks.”

“Ugh.”

“Jealous much?”

“Stiles,” Laura makes a face. “This is my brother.”

“Your point?”

Sure, Derek’s smitten, but Stiles is just as bad. 

“So I have different options?” asks Lydia.

“Well, we can always stay friends, so yeah.”

Lydia looks at her, curious. “What about dating?”

“No way.” Laura wrinkles her nose. “I’m crossing this one out.”

“QPR sounds nice.”

Laura smiles, suddenly feeling shy. “Yeah?”

“But tuple sounds better.”

“Jesus, no one asked you, Stiles!”

“Yeah, well, no one asked you to play matchmaker, either.”

Laura narrows her eyes. “I know you just want my muffin but fine. Take it.”

“Thank you.”

“Though, seriously, don’t say I didn’t influence you getting together. I should get a gift, like, a fruit basket. Once a month.”

“Okay,” says Derek.

“Okay?” echoes Stiles, incredulous. “Those are terrible conditions!”

“Well, we are together, right?”

“Gross,” says Laura, staring at Derek in abject horror. “You’re sweet.”

Lydia smiles at Laura, getting her attention again. “Tuple is good, too.”

“Seriously?”

“As long as it’s with you.”

“Romantic shit,” comments Derek. “I approve.”

“This is the last time we have a date together,” hisses Laura.

She knows it’s not, though, and really, she doesn’t mind. She doesn’t even care about the name for her and Lydia’s relationship, as long as it has the space to change and shape what they may have. Even if it’s a tuple.

[filmfanatic82]

AO3 Link (HERE)

Chapter 5

“I walk through this world, just tryna be nice

They say I'll get hurt, if I'm not like ice

I know I've got friends, I still get so lonely

If I look in your eyes, I'll want you to hold me

I'm sorry that I care, care

I'm sorry that I care, care

It's really not that fair, fair

I can't help but care”

-- Feeings, Hayley Kyioko

__________

“Yo! Penelope! Wait up!” MG yells from across the dining hall as he jogs to catch up with Penelope. 

Penelope stops, letting the sea of exiting students pass by her. 

After ending their impromptu spell lesson in the woods with a literal bang, Penelope hadn’t returned to classes, opting to spend the remainder of the afternoon buried deep within the comforting stacks the library instead. Book had always been a bit of a sanctuary for her. No matter the time nor the place, they were ever constant. A reliable anchor in the chaotic sea of Penelope’s life.

Once leaving the Salvatore School and becoming nomadic, books— non-magical books— were a real luxury. Sure, there was always an abundance of ancient spell books laying around and Caroline loved to surprise Hope and Penelope every so often with an obscure text on mythical rituals and covens. But anything that fell outside of those realms was rare at best. 

The only book that Penelope had managed to keep amongst her few belongings-- besides her journal-- was a mangled copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. It had been a one-month anniversary gift from Josie. A simple paperback version so that she didn’t have to lug around her first edition hardcover copy whenever she felt like re-reading it. It was her favorite. Not only within the series but possibly out of all the books Penelope had ever read. There was just something so oddly reassuring about the story itself. The ability to go back in time and right the wrongs of the past. 

Although Penelope had had to make the gut-wrenching decision to leave the book behind-- opting to take Josie’s yellow sweater instead-- she did remember that there was a stray copy of the book hidden away deep within the school library in the section where all the modern books with pop-culture references to witchcraft lived. And after locating it, she had curled up in one of the free wingback chairs and allowed herself to get lost within its pages. 

Sure, it wasn’t the most productive use of her time-- especially given the ever-present countdown ticking away in the back of her mind-- but one that still needed nonetheless. A little extra reassurance that just maybe there would be a happier ending to their story this time around.

But after an hour or two of non-stop reading, Penelope’s hunger had gotten the best of her and she decided to wander down to the dining hall for an early dinner. And to her luck, it had been almost deserted, with only a few young students sprinkled throughout the hall. 

The plan had been to eat quick and then retreat back to the safety of her own dorm room in the hopes that maybe Josie would be true to her word and swing by later. In and out. Unnoticed. As if it were just another day at Salvatore.

And for the most part, it had been successful… Until now.

“Hey, I’ve been trying to track you down all day,” MG says slightly out of breath. “What’s going on?”

“What’d you mean?” Penelope responds, trying to mask the growing ball of nerves within her stomach. 

“What’d I mean?? Pen, you were all set to up and peace out of here last night. You swung by my room to say goodbye and yet… You’re still here. What gives? I thought you were done with this place?” 

“I changed my mind.” Penelope holds her breath and silently says a prayer that MG will accept her answer at face value rather than digging a little bit deeper. 

“You mean Josie changed your mind.” 

“No… Not exactly… I just…” Penelope fumbles over her words, but it doesn’t matter. MG’s eyes light up with an all-knowing spark regardless. 

“Ah… I knew it! I… knew… it! You two are the freakin’ modern-day Romeo and Juliette man. Star crossed lovers. Destined to be together no matter what happens and all that shit.”

“MG…” 

“No, seriously Pen. That’s you and Josie. You guys give the rest of us hope, you know?” 

“Please tell me you aren’t still hung up on Lizzie.” 

“A boy’s gotta dream,” MG responds with a bit of shrug.

Penelope sighs. She shouldn’t do it… Just let sleeping dogs lay. It will all work itself out in time. MG will meet another vampire-- a transfer student from Denmark-- during his senior year at Salvatore, fall head over heels in love and forget all about his unhealthy obsession with the blonde-haired siphoner. The two will end up getting married and even go on to have an adorable baby boy who shares MG’s infectious smile. She really shouldn’t. But--

“Piece of advice?”

“Always from you.”

“Pick a different dream.”

“But--”

“Trust me on this, MG.” Penelope reaches out and places her hand down on MG’s shoulder, locking eyes with him as she does. “Pick a different dream.”

It takes a moment to sink in but then slowly MG’s face transforms into a look of common understanding. He gives a nod in return.

“Good,” Penelope replies and offers up a sympathetic smile. It isn’t much but it’s all she can think of doing without further crossing the line. “I’ve got a mountain of reading to get through tonight, so maybe we can continue to catch up in the morning? Over breakfast?”

“Yeah sure.”

“Great.” 

“Oh, wait! Pen, there’s something else,” MG says with a sudden urgency to his voice. “It’s Hope.”

“Hope? What about her?”

“Dunno. Think she got some bad news about Landon or something. She seemed pretty choked up last I saw her. Like she had been crying. Figured you might wanna know.” 

“Shit. Malivore,” Penelope mutters under her breath.

“Maliv- What?”

“Nevermind… Thanks for the heads up.”

“Yeah, no prob--” But Penelope doesn’t wait for MG to finish his sentence before taking off out of the dining hall and diving straight back into the sea of students.

__________

“Mikaelson! Open up,” Penelope bangs against Hope’s dorm room door a few minutes later sweaty and out of breath. 

“Go away, Penelope,” Hope answers back, voice trembling with tears. 

“Not happening.” Penelope waits for a minute or two for any sign of a further response but is only met with silence. She lets out a frustrated sigh. “Fuck.”

Penelope takes a giant step back from the dorm room door and shuts her eyes. “Aperi ianuam.”

BANG.

The dorm room door flies open and slams against the wall causing Hope to jump out of her skin. “What the fuck?! Did you just use magic to break into my room?”

“Relax,” Penelope replies. “I do it all the time… Or I used too… You get what I mean.”

Penelope crosses the threshold into Hope’s room and then mutters an incoherent phrase under her breath. The door shuts close followed by an audible click. “See? Good as new.”

“Not the point.” Hope settles herself back onto her bed. She swipes at her eyes with the sleeve of her cardigan, in an attempt to mask all traces of her tears. But it doesn’t matter. Penelope already knows. Six years of spending every single moment side by side with the Tribrid and she doesn’t need much in regards to cues. All it takes is a slight quiver on the end of a word or a brief flash of raw emotion buried deep within those golden eyes. That’s all. And Penelope can piece the rest of the puzzle together.

Every time.  

“Move,” Penelope says as she climbs onto the bed and wedges herself next to Hope. 

“What are you--”

“No seriously… Move over.” Penelope gives Hope a nudge in the ribcage with her elbow and Hope obliges. “God, you’re such a bed hog.”

Hope shoots Penelope a hard eye roll. “Am not.”

“Oh, you so are, Furball. And a mad cuddler too, but we’re not gonna get into that one right now,” Penelope replies and slumps her head against Hope’s shoulder. It’s a selfish move… Especially given that this isn’t her Hope, but at the moment, she doesn’t care. It’s been beyond a day and her skin itches with the need for just a little bit of familiarity. “Right now we’re gonna talk about why you are hiding out in here and crying.”

“I wasn’t--”

“Let’s skip bullshit, okay? You were. And it must be about something pretty big cause you brought out Mr. Bearrington.”

Hope’s eyes instantly glance towards her nightstand where a raggedy old teddy bear sits slumped over on top of a pile of textbooks. “How did you…”

“I told you, Mikaelson,” Penelope says with a hint of a smirk. “I know you.”

“God, this is so weird.”

“You’ve got no idea.” 

A momentary silence settles within the room as Hope leans over to the nightstand and scoops up the teddy bear. She rubs her fingers in methodical circles along the stuffed animal’s threadbare ear over and over again and Penelope knows that this is her cue to sit tight and wait. 

Words will come. They always do. It’s just a matter of giving Hope the proper amount of time and space needed to wade through her inner tumultuous sea of thoughts and emotions first. 

Another minute or two passes by and then--

“Okay,” Hope says, breaking the silence. She stops rubbing the teddy bear and sighs. “You’re right. I was crying.”

“About Landon?” 

“Landon?” Hope asks with a sudden quirk of her eyebrow.

“Yeah. I thought… MG mentioned that you… Wait. This isn’t about Landon?”

Hope out a bark of a laugh. “No… God no. It’s not about him… But I guess it could be. It depends on how you look at it.”

“Alright… So… If it’s not about Landon, then who…” Penelope trails off as a wave of clarity all but blindsides her. She doesn’t need to finish her sentence because she already knows the answer. 

In fact, they’ve had this same exact conversation before. Except for the first time when it happened, they had been sitting on the rooftop at 3 am in Paris and halfway through their second bottle of Jack Daniels. It had been on the night that Caroline had let it slip that Lizzie was dating someone new… A Romanian witch named Violet. 

At first, Penelope didn’t think twice about it. Caroline was always providing them with tidbits of information from the world that they once called home. And that specific comment had seemingly been no different than the rest. Just another brief update intermixed within their normal dinner conversations. 

After it was said, though, Penelope noticed that Hope’s entire demeanor had instantly changed. She seemed off with a look upon her face that was only reversed for those rare moments when her emotions were too strong to hide from the outside world. 

So Penelope did what she always did in those situations when she needed Hope to open up. She guilty tripped the Tribrid into joining her for a nightcap at a local pub and proceed to all but pour shot after shot down Hope’s throat. 

It took six shots in total. Six shots to crack through Hope’s stoic facade and finally get to the real root of the problem. Hope had indeed been thrown off by the news about Lizzie. 

But it wasn’t until four hours later when they had stumbled their way back home and ontop their apartment rooftop, did Hope reveal the full truth to Penelope. She had been head-over-heels in love with Lizzie Saltzman since she first time she had laid eyes on the blonde-haired siphoner.

The conversation that followed was one of the best-- and most honest-- conversations that the two of them ever had with each other. It had, in short, be a turning point for their relationship. The moment where they transitioned from friendship into something so much more. 

“I know you said you can’t reveal too much about the future, but can I ask you something?” 

“Sure. Anything,” Penelope responds without missing a beat.

“Do I…” Hope pauses for a moment and lets go of a breath of air. “Do I ever end up getting together with Lizzie?”

The question cuts deep. Ripping straight through Penelope’s soul. 

God, how the hell is she supposed to answer this? It’s such a simple yet complex question. 

Penelope blinks away a hint of tears from her eyes and then forces a reassuring smile upon her lips. “Let’s say that if you both had had the chance to, you and Liz would’ve been together in a heartbeat.”

“She goes by Liz?” Penelope nods and Hope matches her smile. “Liz… I like that.”

“Yeah. The name fits her… At least the future her.”

Hope slinks down a bit, resting her head against the top of Penelope’s and once again exhales. “I was crying because… I think I’m in love with Lizzie Saltzman.” 

“Oh, you are.” Penelope yawns and cuddles in closer, nuzzling up into Hope like she has done countless times before. “And she’s madly in love with you too, Mikaelson.”

“She is?”

“Without a doubt,” Penelope mumbles as her eyelids slowly succumb from the sheer emotional weight of the day. “Okay. My turn to ask you something.”

“Of course. What is it?”

“Would you mind if napped here for a bit? It’s been a crazy long day and just that I can barely keep my eyes open… But if it’s too weird or strange, I can always--”

“Stop,” Hope cuts Penelope off and proceeds to reach down to the foot of the bed and grabs a blanket for the two of them. “Of course you can.”

“Thanks.”

“But if you start to snore, I’m kicking your ass out,” Hope replies with a yawn as well. 

“You’re the snorer, Furball. Not me,” Penelope whispers already half-sleep. 

Hope shakes her head with a look of amused annoyance and then wraps her arm around Penelope as she gets comfortable. “So freakin’ weird.”

[suziechism]

If you have not yet heard it, this is my current single, Socio out now on all platforms. This is a really exciting track for me, as it is a change of pace from the rock music I have been writing/performing for the last 8 years, and is one of my first production projects. Although it skews pop, I was inspired by hip hop from the 80s and 90s when selecting synth and guitar tones (both performed by me,) and was obsessing over the simple, yet thoughtful percussion in old Snoop Dogg and Dre songs. I had full creative control over this sucker, as it was recorded mostly in my home in Nashville (back ground vocals and percussion added at my next-but-previous home in East LA a few months later.) The song is a series of mishaps gone right, from the horrendous topic of a Sociopath itself, to the fact that my shoulder had recently become dislocated when I wrote it leaving me unable to write on my usual instrument. In fact, I had one arm in a sling most of the time then, and could not work at all; I borrowed a friends old Juno out of boredom. His Juno had keys that did not work, which decided the progression of chords. I was incredibly blessed to have Chuck Bartels of the Sturgill Simpson band come in to play bass on the track, and it took him about ten minutes total. -He is a super funky Detroit cat, and I paid him in tacos for the session. The engineer on this song, Paul Cossette, did not particularly like concept of sound I was going for, but was supportive in connecting the dots for my wild ideas, including our attempt to rope in Frank Romano on guitar. -Frank currently plays for Rob Thomas, but was ideal for this song because he played the ever-iconic intro riff on P. Diddy’s “I Need a Girl Pt. 2″ I was SO pumped, but he was ultimately unable to be a part of the project, and I took over the responsibility of guitar. The whistle sound was the first time I recorded my new Behringer D, a Model D clone that is accessible in price. The song was mixed by F. Reid Shippen (Robot Lemon) and mastered by Dan Bacigalupi at Infrasonic Sound. The song has been marked “explicit” on Spotify, although the lyric in question says “take me home and fun me, make me think I’m lucky.”

This is an interesting write for me, because it is lyrically very matter-of-fact, rather than my usual hemorrhaging of emotion. I was very detached from the subject, likely due to the trauma involved in having been manipulated by someone with sociopathic behavior. The song really tells the story, but does not even begin to touch the layers of intricate, impressive, detailed deception (and ueventually harassment) that was involved in dating a sociopath. -The term “web of lies” COULD NOT BE more accurate. In retrospect, dismissing the millions (not an exaggerated estimate) of red flags that lined the road I was too-far down was a direct correlation to my lack of self-respect/love, but it was in no way my fault. I loved this man as much as I was capable of loving another human at that time in my life, and thought loving him despite his transgressions was a sign of love itself. In fact, he seemed to have a knack for finding women who doubted themselves; victims by definition, absolutely. He told me many times “I love that you are hot and you don't know it!” Later I realized that is what he is looking for, people who don’t see in themselves what other people perhaps do. I dated him for 5 of the 8 years that I lived in Nashville, and can count 11 people off the top of my head that reached out to me during that time to inform me that they were also dating my boyfriend. I found out later I was not the main squeeze, as he had been with someone from his home town since high school or shortly after. I was convinced that we lived together; he came and went 3-4/7 (sometimes more) days a week, sighting out of town rehearsals/shows and late night radio gigs as explanation for the remaining time we were apart. He was on another lease at an apartment, and had set up an extended-stay rate at a motel he used frequently as well. Because most of the women who contacted me were from WILDLY opposite walks of life than the world of music he and I had in common, or they were too young for the story to even be comprehendible for me, he talked his way out of any and everything. It wasn't until I faced him in a court room and saw the knee-jerk, untrue pathological responses in real time that I understood just how good this manipulator was. He was protecting his empire of bullshit.

Every morning he would crouch on the ground near the side of the bed and watch me sleep a while before kissing me goodbye, and would tell me I am his favorite girl; I didn't realize what he meant. What an asshole. I can’t remember quite how he phrased it, which is an incredible sign of healing, but the last-straw girl showed me a screenshot of their conversation in which he used this cutesy inside joke of ours to greet her. He was caught. Does he get sociopath bonus points for using the love I taught him on other people, or did he forget which girl receives which script? My long-term band Moseley had recently disbanded (lol get it?) and I had rehearsals for my FIRST show for my new band that day. I circled the house like a fishing bobber in an old cartoon, the tunnel closing in on my vision but my legs increasing in speed, pacing. When my bassist arrived, I had no words and was shaking uncontrollably. I didn’t have to tell him (but of course I did,) he just knew; everybody knew. -those damned snake eyes gave him away to everyone but me, where I just saw pain. The culprit was conveniently tucked away at a camp ground performing at Forecastle Festival with his band. I didn't think there was any chance I would get through my first performance with SUP, but it is the only technically perfect show I have ever played, to date. A scorned bitch is her most radiant.

I made it abundantly clear that I was not to be contacted, but Jabroni found a different phone to call from every day. EVERY day. He left voicemails to the tune of “call me back when you’re done whoring around East Nashville, you dumb cunt,” and “you’re so fucking stupid, if you believe this child over me,” “you’re so stupid no one will marry you,” he flooded my emails and texts messages. Occasionally I would write back some poetic, winded essay about the minutes within the hours within the days within the months that this had been going on and draining me of my everything, hoping it would make the man feel something for once and that he would stop the torture. He did not hear me. He sat outside my house regularly, where I could not stay unless I knew his band was on the road, for months and months. My dog sitter saw him looking in my windows. He left notes on my door. He threatened to disrupt me at work, so I found a new job immediately. There were trinkets (like drum keys, -he is a drummer) that I would find, strategically so that I knew he had been there. There were burner phones purchased, and bands being paid in radio time to do his dirty work for him. I was not the only woman being treated this way. Ultimately, this person damn-near rewired my brain to think up was down, and he most definitely ruined the next relationship I attempted. He loved to let me know he knew where I had eaten that day, or who I had been with. I used to have a recurring dream that I would sit down to eat in my kitchen, and that my foot would kick human flesh under the table, where he was hiding in the fetal position silently. I got bangs for the first time in twenty years as camouflage.

My temporary restraining order ended when he, in court, told the judge that I had been calling him and begging him to come over, that I wanted to get back together. That restraining order would have prevented this post, and this song, from existing. I remember watching the judge browse lunch menus on her computer while I gave my testimony, about forty minutes before she shamed me for my “dishonesty” and wasting the court’s time. He told all of Nashville he took me to court for blackmailing him. I don't think about him hardly ever, his memory replaced by someone capable of having my best interest at heart, -a concept so foreign to me that I thrash like a caged animal when presented with it. I thought of him while reading the Ryan Adams expose (his hero in all things, oddly enough,) THE SIMILARITIES ARE UNCANNY. I thought of him recently as I booked a trip to visit Nashville, when it flashed across my mind like a news ticker that HE STILL LIVES THERE! and that I did not want him to know the dates I would be traveling, or that I was coming at all!, for fear he could look up the flight schedules from LA-->BNA and it would all begin again. This is not normal, and this is not okay.

I wrote this song for the other women affected by this man or anyone like him, in retribution for the millions of times I am sure he denied my existence. I EXISTED. WE HAPPENED. HE CANNOT TALK HIS WAY OUT OF WHAT I LIVED THROUGH; I WAS THERE. One of my favorite lyrics I have ever written is in this song: “I kept hoping you would trust my love, enough to tell the truth if just for once.” One sentence to explain it all. As more truths have been uncovered, it is a bit bizarre how many of my songs predicted details that I had no way of knowing at the time; the female intuition is an earthly superpower that cannot be paralleled and should be trusted at all costs. How someone treats you is not a reflection of  YOUR ability to love, and as big as you can dream, I hope you dream of love and never stop chasing your dreams.

[randomfandomimagine]

Stupidly Obvious (Remus x Reader)

Character: Remus Lupin ft .Wingman Sirius Black

Fandom: Harry Potter/Marauders

Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader, Gryffindor!Reader

Title: Stupidly Obvious

Requested by anon:

remus x reader where she’s best friends with the marauders(but she doesn’t know about the animagus stuff) and he has an obvious (not for her ofc) crush on her and they get him to ask her to the yule ball. but it’s a full moon and remus has to leave with a shitty excuse and reader is super sad bc she thinks she’s not good enough for him. reader leaves and goes to the shrieking shack, a secret hiding place of hers to be alone. there she meets the marauders in there animal form and she is super shocked that remus is a werewolf and he almost attacks her but sirius saves her & later in the morning when remus turns back they meet at the black lake alone&he says sorry & he wants to confess to her but he thinks she will never like a werewolf like him. So Sirius steps in and ends their misery by saying that they like each other so why don’t they just kiss.fluff pls thx♡♡

A/N: This is the first proper imagine of the Marauders I’m writing, so bear with me! I hope it was accurate and I got the characterization right and that it was any good :P

I smiled when I saw the four of them walking my direction, with James stupidly shouting my name to make me laugh and Sirius jokingly winking an eye at me. Peter smiled at me in silence, and Remus just stared at me shyly.

I had been friends with those four ever since we were all sorted in Gryffindor back in our first year, and Remus had never acted that way around me, and I couldn’t really understand why.

Lately he had been behaving strangely, they all had! But specially him, as he seemed always quieter than usual, not to mention flustered and shy. I asked him multiple times, but he would always brush it off or change the subject.

The other three weren’t much help either, because they would change the subject as well. I felt like I was missing something, not understanding those complicity glances and low giggles they sent each other.

“Hey, Y/N” James was the first one to speak up, stepping up and placing a friendly arm over my shoulders. “Remus here wants to talk to you”

“Really?” I replied, excited that he was willing to face me. “What is it?”

Remus finally seemed to relax his tense posture and his concerned expression as he warmly smiled at me.

“I wanted to…” He began to say, pursing his lips together as though he couldn’t find the right words.

“Just be honest and straightforward, Remus” Sirius whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear, just as he pushed his friend closer to me.

“I just wanted to ask you…” Almost asking them for support, Remus looked over his shoulder to the rest, who nodded encouragingly. “If you have a date for the dance”

“Not yet…” I pouted and rolled my eyes. “No one asked me”

“Would you go with me?” He asked instantly after, so fast that I hardly understood what he said.

“Yeah, sure!” I smiled in excitement, knowing how fun it would be to go with one of my best friends. “Such a good idea, just go with a friend! I should have thought-“

I interrupted myself because, behind him, James and Sirius were making weird gestures, shaking their heads and ushering me to stop talking. And Peter just watched me with wide eyes.

“Eh… exactly” Remus piped up in the end after a moment of silence.

He dedicated me a weak smile before he turned around and left where he came from. Peter followed him, and I noticed how he made wide gestures to him in an attempt to catch his attention.

“What the hell was that?” I asked Sirius and James, confused.

“Nothing, Y/N” James patted my shoulder, with a mysterious smile, and went to reunite with the others.

“Just… dress up for the dance and get pretty, okay?” Sirius chuckled as his arm casually fell over my shoulders.

We started walking to the Great Hall, and so I chuckled and pushed him a little.

“Are you saying I have to dress up to be pretty, Sirius?”

“I wouldn’t dare, Y/N, not unless I want to be turned into a frog”

*

I was oddly jittery when the day of the dance came. Everyone was rushing, pacing and hurrying as they prepared to go to the Yule Ball.

I stood before the mirror, watching my reflection thoughtfully. If it weren’t because my roommate assured me that I looked great, I would have been very self-conscious about it.

Honestly, I couldn’t understand why I was so nervous! I was just going to meet with my friend Remus and hang out with the rest of my friends as usual. With the small difference that we were all dressed up and we were going to a dance. Why was that any different from any other regular day?

Taking a deep breath, I left the bedrooms and passed through the Gryffindor Common Room until I made it to Great Hall, where the Yule Ball was being held at.

I glanced around looking for my friends until I found them. It wasn’t too hard, as they were being loud and rambunctious as usual. Smiling to myself, I walked over to them. They hadn’t noticed me yet.

James and Sirius were talking amongst them, and I could have sworn I heard my name being spoken in the conversation.  

“Don’t you know it’s rude to talk about someone behind their back?” I playfully told them, interrupting them.

“Y/N!” James smirked at me, eyeing me up and down.

“Wait until Remus sees you” Sirius chuckled in disbelief. “You look great!”

I glanced at Peter as he was silent, and he just smiled at me.

It was probably the first time we saw each other out of our usual school tunics, or at least into something so fanciy, and it was quite the sight. To witness them wearing tuxedo like outfits was strange yet oddly charming. And for once, James had managed to comb that mess of a hair.

“Where is he, by the way?” I asked them, strangely eager to see him.

“He was a little nervous, he’s taking his time” James winked at me in a way that I didn’t really understand.

I frowned and opened my mouth to ask, but Sirius interrupted me.

“Are you nervous, Y/N?” His smirk had a mischievous hint to it as he leaned an elbow over my shoulders.

“No…” I lied, gently pushing him away from me.

“You do look nervous” Peter pointed out.

“Shut up, I don’t!”

“You better not be lying, because here he comes”

I quickly turned around, hurriedly combing my hair hoping they weren’t messing with me. But indeed, there he was. Remus looked very handsome, and I nearly melted at the tender smile he dedicated me when he saw me. His eyes were dripping with fondness as he approached me.

“Y/N!” Kindly, he took my hands in his. “You look… beautiful! So beautiful!”

“You don’t look too bad yourself” I grinned at him.

I could hear Sirius and James muttering behind us, even giggling. But I was too smitten with Remus to pay attention to them.

*

It had been a lovely evening, like a beautiful dream. Perfect.

I had fun with my friends, slow danced with Remus and talked and laughed a lot. But all good things must come to an end. In this case, rather, the magic spell was broken when Remus left behind his calm yet jittery behavior, which was replaced with a panicked and hurried one.

Had I done something wrong? Was it something I said? Why did he look so frantic and worried all of a sudden?

“I knew this was a bad idea…” I heard him whispering to himself as he broke away from our embrace.

“Re-Remus?” I spluttered, completely astonished.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I have to go, I…” His eyes wouldn’t meet mine as he struggled to get away from me, despite my efforts to hold him back.

“What’s wrong?” I urged him, desperately trying to get him to stay, to linger in the closeness and intimacy.

“I… There’s something I… I’m sorry”

Seeing as he wasn’t giving me a clear answer, I turned to the other three. They exchanged glanced of concern in silence, almost forgetting I was there with them.

“We gotta go” Sirius hurriedly mumbled, urging them all outside.

“Sorry” Peter turned to me one last time before leaving me there. Alone.

Resigned, I sat down and heaved a big sigh.

I couldn’t understand, they didn’t give me a proper explanation! They didn’t give me an excuse, not even a crappy one! Was it really that bad?

It was me, wasn’t it? Remus noticed we were getting too affectionate and romantic and he didn’t like the idea of it. Was I not good enough for him? I thought he enjoyed being with me! Why did he abandon me like that then, so hurriedly? Did I really scare him off?

Maybe I was just deceiving myself thinking he might like me. Maybe he just left, dragging the rest along with him, because he saw things were getting out of hand. He just… ditched me!

I absently looked up, feeling a painful and empty sadness taking over me. All across the room were happy couples talking, dancing or laughing together. It was almost like they were reminding me what I could be doing at that moment with the boy that, I realized, I liked. That I really really liked.

I only noticed when I started craving something I didn’t have. Something that I nearly got but that was snatched from me.

Heartbroken and miserable, I stood up and left the dance. There was only one place I wanted to be at, and it was far far away from there.

A place that somehow helped me think and calm down when I was upset. Perhaps because of the feeling of isolation it gave me, that I could relate to when I was in a mood bad enough to seek it.

Taking advantage of the secret passage way of the Whomping Willow that the boys had told me about –which they discovered not too long ago and were planning to write down, along with the others that would someday hopefully help other lawbreakers like themselves -, I headed for the Shrieking Shack in the hopes that it would comfort me enough to then go back to Hogwarts.

*

I thought I might, but I didn’t cry. I just sat there, alone, trying to keep my mind blank. And eventually, the silent environment of the Shrieking Shack –even though everyone called it so, whenever I went there everything remained quiet, which confirmed that the abandoned house wasn’t haunted like the rumors said –along with the calm ambiance of the night, helped me calm down. I was still upset, of course, but I was feeling a little better.

Just as I wondered why the Shrieking Shack was called like that if I never heard any shrieking in it, a shrill scream sounded in the distance. I gasped, frightened, and stood up.

Absently brushing the dust off my dress, I stood up and stared at the direction the shriek came from.

Knowing the best idea would be to hide from the danger, I left the room and went to the next room when I heard hurried footsteps coming closer.

I peaked at the door, somewhat curious to see what was happening. Four voices talked over each other, frantic and almost panicked. But… they sounded familiar.

“We’re almost there, hold on!”

“Fight it, you can do it!”

“I can’t!”

“It’s too late!”

I gasped when I saw none other than Remus Lupin, being held down by James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. Because it seemed like he was… changing. Shifting.

His features were elongating and becoming sharper and wilder. Almost like those of an animal. What was happening?!

Too worried to think straight, I jumped out of my hiding place and revealed my presence to them.

“Remus?” I muttered, even if my voice came out lower than I intended.

Startled by my sudden presence there, the three boys turned to me in awe. Until Remus fully shifted into a werewolf. And because they were distracted by me, he escaped from their grip.

I screamed as I saw him lunge at me, completely rid from his human side as the moonlight entered through the cracks of the planked windows. I should have known.

While I waited for him to inevitably tackle me and hurt me, my mind did something strange. It slowed time and I found myself thinking back.

Back to other nights that also happened to be full moon, in which Remus would excuse himself and disappeared for many hours. Back to the mornings he returned, worn out and exhausted, and would never explain what happened to him, no matter how much I asked.

Part of me always knew there was something going on. Part of me figured Remus was a werewolf, piecing everything together. But the conscious side of me preferred to see Remus as I always did. The calm, kind and gentle boy I liked so much.

The werewolf side of him clashed so much with the other one that I just refused to believe it. Until then.

When Remus was tackling me to the ground, hurting my arm as I hit it when I fell. I screamed out in pain and terror, but his fangs never made contact with my skin.

I realized I had shut my eyes tight when I had to open them to see what was going on. A big black dog was defending me, tearing the werewolf form of Remus away from me.

To make sure my friends were safe, I looked over to my friends. James and Peter were still there, but where had Sirius gone to?!

Unless… the black dog was Sirius.

Once Remus was temporarily dazed by the attack, the dog glanced at the boys and then at me. Without further ado, the dog turned back into Sirius, who gripped my wrist and dragged me away from there in a rush.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! What the hell is going on, Sirius?!”

“Remus is a werewolf”

“That much I figured myself”

“We became animagi to help him” Sirius urgently tugged at me so I would walk faster, never making eye contact. “James is a stag and Peter is a rat”

“Why hadn’t you told me?” I exclaimed, outrage by what I was just finding out. “I had the right to now!”

“We wanted to tell you” Sirius only stopped once we were at the end of the passage way, near the Whomping Willow. “But Remus refused, he was afraid of letting you know”

“Why? I don’t understand, Sirius, why…”

“There’s no time for that right now, you need to get to safety” He shook his head vehemently. “Besides, that’s not for me to say”

“But-“

“Go to school, and don’t come back here”

“What?! I’m not gonna-“

“Promise, Y/N”

Watching the urgency and concern in his eyes, I sighed and obliged.

“I promise, Sirius” I nodded and he nodded back.

Then he disappeared back inside to assist our friends on restraining Remus.

I resigned myself to keep my promise and went back to Hogwarts. And even though it was night time and everyone had left the ball to go to sleep, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get any sleep at all that night.

*

The next day everything felt hazy like a dream.

It was not strange in our wizarding world, but discovering the boy I liked was a werewolf and my best friends were animagi was quite the shock. I was still trying to completely wrap my mind around the idea.

However, I went to Remus in the Common Room and asked him to meet later. And there we were, even if we were supposed to be talking and we hadn’t said a word so far.

We just walked in silence, being awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe asking Remus to talk and sort things out wasn’t the best idea, but I refused to let him go so easily. Even if it was as a friend, I wanted to keep him around.

And for that we needed to clarify some things, like what happened the other day. I wasn’t stupid, I knew a werewolf when I saw one. But why did he keep it from me? Why did the rest of them know and not me? Did he not trust me?

Every now and then he would look at me and open his mouth, just to regret it and resign himself to remain quiet. I wanted to say something myself, but I didn’t know what. After all, he was the one that needed to explain himself.

Remus cleared his throat as we walked alongside the Black Lake.

“I’m sorry” He uttered in the end, finally breaking the suffocating silence.

“For what?” I piped up as well, but he didn’t reply.

I stared at him, silently urging him to speak up. But he just frowned and looked down to the ground. He seemed troubled.

“I knew you two would be here doubting yourselves and not confessing!” A voice said behind us, startling us.

As we looked over our shoulders, we saw our dear friend Sirius running our direction to catch up with us.

“Sirius, what…?” Remus began saying, but his friend’s glare shut him up.

“Wait, confessing?” I asked, eyeing them intensely.

“He thinks you will think differently of him for being a werewolf” I had never seen our friend so fed up, he even rolled his eyes tiredly.

“Why would I?” I turned to Remus, gently squeezing his upper arm to reinforce my words. “You can’t control it, it’s who you are when you’re Remus that matters to me”

With the corner of my eye, I saw Sirius grinning widely at my words. Almost proudly.

Remus, on the other hand, seemed taken aback by my response. He didn’t react at first, until he smiled just a little and locked eyes with me.

“Really? I thought that-“ He began to say, just to be interrupted by Sirius.

“Why don’t you just stop being stupid?” He shoved us both a little. “You like each other, it should be obvious!”

I felt my cheeks burning and knew that I was blushing. It was a cheeky thing to say, but it somehow reassured me despite my embarrassment.

I was right, Remus did enjoy being with me! He did like me! So it was probably his fear of rejection why he kept everything from me. It was that what held him back from telling me the truth, from telling me everything.

“It’s so stupidly obvious!” Sirius groaned in exasperation.

“So you do like me back” I uttered with a happy chuckle.

“Like you back?” Remus was dumbfounded, and I noticed he was blushing a little as well.

“There we go” Sirius seemed to finally calm down, because he crossed his arms in satisfaction. “Now kiss”

“Sirius…” I whined in annoyance. “You’re embarrassing-”

Remus did, in fact, kiss me. It took me by surprise and I probably blushed even more, judging by the bright chuckle coming from Sirius. But Remus was smiling at me as he broke away, in a wide and calm tender gesture.

That was the Remus I knew and loved. In fact, the Remus I now knew more.

[envoutier]

OATH ☆彡 Part I

    b a k u g o u  x  f e m ! r e a d e r  / /  f a n t a s y ! a u

a/n: this was originally posted on wattpad but i barely ever use that so here you go, tumblr. ALSO, this has not been edited since literally february so i’m sorry if it’s trash. ALSO ALSO - do you guys prefer a second-person POV over a third-person one? please let me know so i can keep it in mind as i write more of this series!!

series masterlist

word count: 2,002

    ↳ in which the reader finds a mysterious creature in the woods.

  ~~~

         1  9   J  U  L  Y   1  5  7  .  .  .

     The sun rose slowly over the horizon, shining on every surface of the kingdom. It lit up the cobblestone paths and wooden single-floor houses. It gave life to the landscapes and soft hills. Even the grass glistened as the light reflected off of the morning dew. It served as a natural alarm clock for all species, including non-magical animals, as you could tell from the loud calls of the rooster that sounded every day near this time.

The people were up and about, preparing for yet another day of working, exchanging greetings with all the familiar faces. Among them shot a bullet, weaving through the crowd. A young woman, oddly dressed in robes much too thick for the current temperature. Who was in such a rush in the morning?

The town square was lined wall-to-wall in kiosks set up first-come first-served for the merchants every morning. The girl ran through the crowded marketplace, dodging customers and sellers advertising their wares, occasionally yelling out an “Excuse me!” or “Sorry!” after rushing past.

“What’re you up to today, (Y/N)?” called a rough voice to the sprinting figure. One person in town was able to recognize the girl despite her disguise, even if it is admittedly pretty lackluster. The young woman perked up upon hearing her name called and tugged her hood onto her shoulders. She skidded to a stop and sent a friendly wave to the orange-haired man.

“‘Morning, Mr. Maijima! I’m running an errand for the Court Apothecary. Collecting something-or-other in the woods just past the Lycen fields.”

The man grunted in response and said, “Tell your dad that the thing he asked for is finished.”

She hummed in thought for a moment. “Actually, I’ll just pick it up when I come back from this job later. Father is probably busy in the castle with all his knight training stuff.” All she got was a grunt and a nod before the man put on his helmet and disappeared into the forge. (Y/N) wasn’t bothered by his lack of response. This was very in-character for the town’s blacksmith and she’s long been used to his personality.

Before she was able to disappear back into her clothing, a pair of women noticed (Y/N) and bowed deeply. She smiled and waved her hand, signaling for the couple to raise their heads. “No, please relax. You needn’t bow to me.”

The woman shared a reluctant look before straightening up. (Y/N) felt uncomfortable being treated so formally by the villagers, at least when she’s in the village casually and not on royal business.

She didn’t really see herself as a princess anyway, since she wasn’t even in-line for the throne. That spot was reserved for her cousin.

She continued her marathon to the edge of the town to the forest. She paused on the bridge for a moment and waved to the people ferrying on the rowboats below her. (Y/N) loved watching the water in the canal. The canal connects everyone and everything in the kingdom together. The water, in general, always made her feel calm and happy. (Y/N) could watch and play in it for hours if she was allowed. She always dreamed of one day visiting the sea that she often hears about from travelers and in story books. She leaned over the rails of the bridge and saw herself staring back at her. (Y/N) giggled and flicked a pebble into the water, rippling and distorting her image.

She shook herself from the distraction and continued along the path to her destination. The faster she got this done, the earlier she could go home and do whatever she wanted. Hopefully. As long as her father didn’t send her out on another errand of his. (Y/N) absentmindedly strolled through the remaining rural parts of town, forgetting her earlier haste. She waved and send encouraging smiles and words to the farmers working the fields. She had no doubt that they had been doing so since long before she had even awoken in the morning.

The once tan and grey stoned path beneath (Y/N)’s feet transitioned into a narrow dirt road. She saw the beginnings of the large bed of trees’ canopy and began her sprint anew.

The outskirts of the forest consisted mainly of willow trees, drooping leaves covering whatever was inside from the outsiders’ sight. Behind the natural curtain, though, streams of light peaked through the spaces in the trees, ethereally lighting up the forest. The falling specks of dust and leaves resembled fireflies, and the whole forest seemed to be teeming with otherworldly life.

Entering the giant wood, (Y/N) slowed down, panting slightly. She reached into the bag slung across her body and pulled out a roll of parchment. She unraveled it and scanned the items listed. They were all basic herbs such as Chamomile flowers and ginseng. The court apothecary needed them for remedies for common wounds the knights got. Since those injuries were definitely due to her father’s training, that was likely the reason she was lumped with the work of finding the ingredients, (Y/N) laughed. Though, it’s not like he’s the one doing the work himself.

After committing at least the first half of the list to memory, (Y/N) readjusted her large, white gloves and began sifting through patches of grass.

Having done this several times before and the royal tutor making her study the topic of medicinal herbs for hours on end, the job of finding and collecting the ingredients wasn’t overly time-consuming. Soon enough, (Y/N) amassed a fairly large pile of plants next to her, each one categorized and tied together with string.

How many bundles of basil did I need…? (Y/N) thought to herself.

She was snapped out of her inner questioning by an unexpected sound. It was somewhere between a shrill and a high-pitched whimper. (Y/N) whipped her head around to where it sounded like the noise originated. It seemed like it was just past that large tree to her right. There usually weren’t many animals that hung around so close to the kingdom’s border. She waited a moment, expecting the noise to repeat. It didn’t.

(Y/N) carefully placed the bundles of all the herbs she’d collected so far into her bag. She reached into her thick, olive cloak and fished out a small, intricately crafted dagger from a sheath strapped to her side. As the daughter of the head of the kingdom’s military, there was no way she would go into the unknown wood unarmed, even if she was a woman. Why else would she be suffering in so many layers of clothing in the summer heat? At least if whatever made the sound attacked her, she would greatly decrease her chances of getting injured.

(Y/N) carefully stepped closer to the tall oak tree, hand clutching the dagger in front of her in a defensive position. She heard the whimper again. Her eyes trailed to a section of brush at the foot of the arboreal plant and approached once more. She lowered her arms as she lowered her body to the ground, sitting on her left knee. (Y/N) placed her dagger back into its casing, believing anything that sounded that hurt couldn’t instead try to hurt her. She grasped a leaf stem and quickly pulled the bush apart, exposing the creature within it.

Said creature shrieked again when he felt the light hit him. He attempted to scramble to his feet and ducked under another leaf, but hissed as he put weight onto his back foot. All he could do was squirm on the ground, barely moving a centimeter a second.

The small animal was covered in light blue, almost white, scaly skin. It was just about the length of (Y/N)’s arm, not including it’s long, spiked tail. It’s sharp claws dug into the dirt as it tried to alleviate the pain coming from its hind leg. But the biggest part, or rather, the most attention grabbing part..

(Y/N) could only stare in shock. That can’t be what I think it is. Is that…

Is that a dragon?

 ~~~

I mean, sure, it’s not nearly as big as I’ve seen it depicted in paintings, but that has to be a dragon, right? (Y/N) internally panicked. It has wings! And scales! Oh God, what do I do?!

(Y/N) paused. It finally occurs to her that the young dragon had been hurt and frantically pulls out a roll of gauze from her ever-handy satchel. She reached out to the animal in an attempt to wrap their left leg, but the dragon hisses at her. There’s no way he would trust a stranger enough to let them touch him.

(Y/N) automatically retracted her hands from the creature. “Sorry!” she exclaimed instinctively.

The dragon continued to glare at what he assumed to be a threat and tried to back away from the larger human. In doing so, he once again aggravated his injury and shrieked. (Y/N) flinched at how pained the animal sounded.

“Um…” (Y/N) hoped that dragons could understand humans’ common tongue, otherwise she was about to sound really dumb talking to herself. “I promise I’m not trying to hurt you. I can wrap your leg so you can’t move it around as much since it’s clearly paining you…” She trailed off when the dragon approached the roll of wound dressing that laid on the floor and inspected it.

He attempted to circle and investigate the roll of gauze as much as he could without actually moving his lower body. After looking back-and-forth from it to the human in front of him, he decidedly nudges the roll closer to the girl. He follows it and steps closer.

(Y/N) internally freaked out. Does this mean it wants me to do something? What if I try to touch it and it gets defensive again?!

The girl took a deep breath and gently and slowly reached toward the animal. He didn’t move or flinch back like she had expected him to. She interpreted this as a sign to continue and she expertly unraveled the gauze to dress the bleeding cut on the dragon’s leg.

Upon the gossamer making contact with his open wound, the dragon let out a loud cry once again.

“I’m sorry,” (Y/N) apologized again. “It’ll only hurt for a second.”

She set the dragon’s fully wrapped leg back onto the ground and advised, “I know I said it’ll help with the pain earlier, but still try to avoid putting a lot of weight onto your hind leg.”

She really hoped that this dragon understood what she was saying.

The dragon stood up shakily. He curiously poked at the fabric covering his leg.

“Ah, please don’t do that! It might irritate your injury again!”

He looked up the human that helped him. He waddled forward and nuzzled his feathered head against her arm in thanks. (Y/N) stared in shock. Just minutes ago, this very animal was baring it’s sharp, predatory fangs and her, but now he’s snuggling up next to her like a tame house cat. She swore she even heard it purring - or, at least, the dragon equivalent to that noise.

(Y/N) looked up, suddenly realizing how long it had been since she first left the village to collect the herbs. She abruptly stood up, separating herself and her newfound friend. Said creature nudged her foot with his snout and looked at her with curious eyes, wondering where she was going. She reached down and ruffled the feathers on his head. “I’ve been gone for a while. I need to head back and give these herbs back to the doctor.”

She opened up her satchel to double check that she collected all the ingredients she was sent out for when the dragon jumped up and landed inside her bag.

“Huh? What are you doing, buddy?” (Y/N) questioned. Her only response was the dragon turning and using the bundles of herbs as a nest to rest in. She sighed.

Okay, I guess I’m bringing a tiny dragon back to the castle with me.

 ~~~

    ↳ PART TWO

[elkian]

chapter 23

“lol elk you’re a bit behind did you forget-” no. this chapter fucking murdered me.

First thing’s first

Ivan is a cheating cheater who cheats, so he has a crit rate at range with the shadow sword, which in theory is not supposed to be possible. I found this out 20+ turns in to this 24-turn map.

THINGS I’VE CHANGED:

I tried to train some of my lower units (Itsuke, Yue, Arthur, and Rex; Lirin to an extent) on my previous attempts. I will not do that. I am bringing Team Steamroll because I need someone who has a fucking chance to hit the boss.

re: having chance to hit the boss: I cheaped out on weaponry last attempt, and what few attacks could hit couldn’t finish him and he would murder anyone on a counter.

What do these four shots have in common?

...

These are my only units with 20+ Skill. I have 33 Units - including a number of Prepromotes - and a grand total of 4 of them have 20 or more Skill.

I’ve said it before on previous chapters, but this playthrough more than anything burned into my brain that, at the very least, Skill is not a dump stat when you don’t have enough of it.

With his paltry Defense but excellent Luck, Anakin had the least chance of being critted to death but could barely survive a regular hit. And a 4% chance to lose a Plot Character is officially Too Damn High.

Levion will be my Tactical Nuke of choice this run. Not only does he have the best Skill of most of my army, he has the defenses to tank return fire and enough Con to keep his Speed above being doubled, not to mention access to Lances.

While I was in here - and I need to clear some Inventory space for this and the next stage - I realized there’s no reason not to promote Kelik. He’s capped, Anakin’s promoted, Shon’s going to promote this run, and Sieg can’t use it.

Note that Kelik cannot go head to head with Ivan either. I’m not really sure what Blazer was thinking - Shon’s promotion gains are far better (though that might be a slight on Shon, since he needs all the help he can get).

Oh, and his official titel is...

Suuuuuure, Blazer. Sure.

Actually, he has a support with Althares and Levion, so it may be worth bringing him next attempt.

Anyways. Upon actually checking the numbers, trying to Dodge Ivan is nigh-impossible, which is a useful consideration.

I’ve replaced Yue, Itsuke, Arthur, and Rex with Levion, Inanna, Tamiko, and Ace.

Yes. Inanna. Why?

Because Triangle Attack if Levion can’t nuke Ivan in time is why.

Alice is an absolutely amazing Prepromote and comes equipped with an Elixir, Silver Lance, and Wind Sword(40 charges!). She doesn’t take up a deployment slot nor require inane recruitment shenanigans to start. One of my few regrets on this level was not requipping her better so that she didn’t need to keep using Wind Sword charges.

Oh, and I have a save file from my failed previous attempt if anyone wants to figure out how to kill Ivan with 4 turns to go and a passel of units that would melt if he looked at them wrong.

I just noticed that Inanna and Alice are the same level. After being fed like 3(?) Angelic Robes, Inanna is +6HP, -4 Skl, +1Spd, -6Lck, -3Def, and +1Res. Ouch.

Some inventory management. One of my BIGGEST regrets on my last attempt was only bringing the Armor Cutter and then the person wielding it always being in the wrong spot.

Oh yeah, I promoted Mark. He and his shiny new stats look super sweet. He’s a few points up on Liquid, who was my first pick for this level.

If I have to repick, I’ll probably trade out the pegs for Eduardo and Liquid, or possibly Shadow there.

OH

YEAH

THAT

An important consideration for Shon’s (absurdly heavy) super-special sword is that the Brave Effect takes place before enemy counterattacks. And he caps for-

-oh god, this is going to be one of THOSE runs isn’t it.

Anyways, Shon fulfills his Destiny(TM). Something I realized is that his sprite looks oddly probably because it’s a recolored Eliwood sprite. That hair in particular.

Again, the stat gains! +2 minimum in everything but luck, +3 and +5 to Def and HP respectively. Did Blazer use standard gains for Kelik and not Shon, or the other way around?

I recommend following along Blastinus’ LP, btw, since I’m very tired and not going to go over every detail, especially inventory management.

I’m more careful re: positioning, so the steel Lance cav closest attacks Inanna (miss)  and this mage attacks Mark. I’m kinda surprised he managed that counter, to be honest. No one else is in reach.

And here we have the True Boss of the map. This Bishop is equipped only with Physic, and is bound and determined to make your life a living hell.

:( even with Effective Weaponry Karina cannot 1-shot this cav. She and Innana do not have Delphi shields, so I need to be sure to knock out that archer before proceeding. (Archer is also in the outmost range of the hand axe Fighter nearby).

Lirin eats the Steel Lance Cav that attacked Inanna. 

On one hand, I’m enthused that she can almost double this archer to death. On the other, I’m sad she can’t double this archer to death. Also, 33 HP feels like a lot even for a level 16 Archer.

I always forget about Berserker crit rates

Everyone piles on the Steel Sword Cav, the last living foe in range. Sieg was doing this on my last attempt, too, as if to taunt me.

I was wrong, Karina’s in range of the Fire mage and a Javelin Cav to the north. Ace runs up to switch her to Javelins.

Anakin refreshes Tamiko and she takes out the Axereaver Soldier through the wall.

Dream big, buddy, dream big. (She crits them immediately)

And again! Crit on the second hit.

This is important: this is the range of the Bloody Rifle Sniper. I’d forgotten that Bloody Rifles are Killer Longbows.

Also, you can see that the jav cav stayed put since the mage moved first (and missed on 70+%. glad it’s not just me.)

Parking Mark on that hill just out of BR range leads to some unexpected hilarity and an excellent level.

This Fighter makes some questionable choices, though I will say I think this is the first time Alice took a hit on any of my attempts.

Jav Cav runs into melee range and joins the ranks of mooks who failed to hit Tamiko. The level’s a bit meh but she’s already incredible.

Lyam managed, across two turns, a pair of BR hits vs the stationary soldier indoors. I guess the first hit didn’t bring their health low enough to proc the Bishop.

Anakin Motivates Mark and gets this timely, if not exactly impactful, level.

Why did he refresh Mark, you may ask?

this is why. GET BENT.

By coincidence (Mark) and design (Shon), this plants my dudes right out of mage range. I will walk someone in there in a second though.

By luck I manage to Rescue-chain Althares to just below that zone, with Alice and Emma and no real wasted movement.

That Knight has the Brave Lance, btw, so be sure to keep them switched to the Javelin til you can kill them.

oop. Forgot that indoor Knight had a Jav too.

OH. THIS MAGE HAD ELFIRE. THAT’S RIGHT.

Karina misses but doubles since Elfire is heavy, and gets a timely level.

This troubadour is bugged or something - this is the second attempt in a row they’ve run up to a wounded ally and done nothing.

Of course it’s the redundant (Knight Levion just damaged) that you get a crit on. Still better than Storm.

Mark and Shon team up to kill the Knight (Shon has a free inventory slot and I don’t want the Brave Lance ending up with Liuke) and Karina takes Lirin’s Delphi Shield and soars up to switch Shon back to javelins.

Honestly one of the biggest crimes of this level is there’s no chance Liuke will be mobile, so if you mess up on inventory management sweet, useful loot will drop and have nowhere to go. There’s no shortcut back to him - it’s turn 6 and we’re just now in sight of the door.

that lower Mage has Dasher, which apparently has an animation in other versions of this Hack, but not this one.

Probably the smartest move in terms of survivability. Shon’s high Luck negates the Short Bow crit.

jeeeeez-us. Shon doubles the Dasher mage to death for a decent level whilst I contemplate how close we came to a reset here.

Aircalibur mage. The tome is fittingly as light as air, so they can put their full 11 speed to work fwiw. I will not be parking Karina in range.

That Fighter has a Steel Axe and the Sage has Thunder. Tread careful.

Mark dispatches the archer for this dodgy level.

It’s a good idea, on a map like this, to manually end each unit’s turn. For example, while paging through Units, I’d totally forgotten Anakin to the south. That would have been a pain to make up for. Instead he runs up to refresh Lyam for giggles.

Althares is on a House so he has some terrain advantages. Kinda wishing I’d brought his promotional now. Ah well.

Oh and I lied. I put the Short Bow (remember, Blazer hacked it to have 1-2 range) on Lyam and put him on the forest in front of the Fighter just to see, and he ends up melting the AC mage for no damage himself.

I actually got a crit on this potshot on the next turn only to realize that wasn’t the Sage and to reset. Sage does not get hit and I reset again because that was for actual joaks. I have no idea with the Bloody Rifle, honestly.

7 turns in to a 24-turn level and we are just now in sight of the door. A thief is about to spawn btw. The Door Key Knight and Chest Key Mage are buggy - the Knight will unlock the door, while the Mage will step on, but not open, the upper-leftmost chest, which is the first one the thief can reach. It can be pretty hilarious actually.

God. Even Sieg’s super-special effective sword isn’t enough to keep his ass intact. We don’t do this. instead, every non-magic-proof ally moves up to just out of range and every magic-proof one walks in.

Almost forgot to finish this joker off.

All the enemies on this level are high enough that low-promos can get decent chunks off them. I’d complain, but honestly I’m okay with these stats.

Every single JaveKnight goes for Lyam. He crits one, fells none, and doesn’t get hit once.

Lirin, meanwhile-

OH SHIT HE’S FAST ENOUGH TO DOUBLE

Yeah, I did not brain that good. Thankfully her Luck-Res-HP are all high enough to keep her in one piece.

Crunch the numbers, kids. Don’t end up with dead ponies.

Tamiko restore Lirin to full and she annihilates the Sage for a decent level. Wish she’d had that strength before - she could only do 14 with an Iron lance so I gambled on Steel instead.

Cia incinerates a remaining Knight for her first Sage level. Outstanding.

I doofed up and had Cia end turn after refreshing her so Levion and Lyam step into Hero-Merc range

Ow. Also, wishing I’d brought a sword for him after all. Didn’t use it at all last attempt. Guess I could have trade-scummed it.

It’s a good thing none of them can double him. He can’t double back, though (Cia can). He misses the Hero, too.

Shon smacks the Hero down and snags the Angelic Robe from them.

Lyam notches the Steel Sword Merc for a level I have no right to complain about.

Liring and Innana finish off the Mercs; Emma and Althares dash for the left side treasure. I come to the realization that Emma could very likely solo the entire left side, since the Mage drops the Chest Key. I want to try grabbing the Lockpicks this time, though, so Althares joins her.

Okay, solo is an exaggeration but not by that much. Also, dammit, I should have kept her at the edge of range. Ah well, Javelin drop is good too.

...well okay then (that’s the Emblem Axe btw)

I’ll take it!

The chest key Mage steps down to fail at hitting Althares, but the Thief still goes right. Maybe the Mage isn’t meant to move.

Althares, with Anakin’s help, steals both Lockpicks and Dracoshield. Howard kills the mage (needing a steel sword for it too) and Emma obligingly melts the thief for an odd-for-her but very welcome level.

Right side needs to be cautious. I don’t think it’s an accident that this Cappricio-wielding General is right in range of that cracked wall. The Shaman just has Flux, but that Physic Bishop is right there. That Warrior at the bottom is carrying a silver axe, too.

Yowch. Alice and the Shaman both land a hit, Alice whiffs the second.

Althares grabs the Earth Master Animate Seal and the squad swings back around.

Levion gives no fucks about your critty lance, though I actually sit him on a pillar instead.

Enemy phase, everyone misses.

not Levion, though.

Honestly, having this guy out of my hair is well worth the Silver Axe uses.

Innana and Lyam knock down the wall and Mark has better odds with Iron. He gets up to 98 EXP too.

Ace and Levion finish off the General for a surprisingly decent level.

Thanks to some trade shenanigans, Alice pops the chest. I decide to send the Axe on since Levion is about the only person who has a chance landing a hit on the boss with WTA

ACE IS BA-

-ck?

Halberdier with Drizzle

Archer with Steel and Longbows

I really wish Anakin had a prestige class of some kind. His high utility means he earns EXP super fast - ten per phase just from Motivating - and he’ll ram 20 sooner than later.

Innana and Lirin kill the Archer and Alice grabs a Bloody Rifle from the chest.

Levion and Mark move into Drizzle range- thanks to WTA Mark can just scrape by not getting critted to death and Tamiko heals Lirin for a decent level

times like these I really wish I had the Heavy Lance. I keep forgetting to trade the Armor cutter off Howard too - all the armored units have Lances so I keep forgetting.

OH SH-

THANK GOD

Mark initiates The Slaughter and gets a great level for it.

Drizzle’s low hit (Ace’s on a pillar) means that no one has gotten hit yet, thank god.

Inanna finishes the job and gets a level.

Yup. That sure is a level.

We don’t start the final offensive just yet, but I check the numbers of Swordslayer vs Swordmaster and conclude that I love Levion.

One of the biggest problems I had in my last attempt is that no one had the HP to tank a crit from that damn thing. Levion can take a crit, as well as a single Silver Sword Crit I believe and the double.

Also, I can’t tell if this is deliberate or a coding bug/fail, but unlike other ranged swords the Shadow Sword uses Strength at both ranges and can crit at both ranges. Don’t get crit if you can help it.

Althares opens the leftmost door and Karina snags this, sending the now-redundant Delphi Shield back to the convoy. Be absolutely sure you have space before you play this level. The next one gives you a ton of shopportunities too.

Alice and Lyam take down the Shaman. What does it say when it takes two prepromotes to kill an unpromoted enemy, I wonder?

Oh, btw.

Ace can double a swordmaster.

we won’t be doing this (jfc that crit) but still.

It takes Howard (2 misses with the Emblem Axe) Sieg and Cia to kill the true boss of the level.

NOW we can start on Ivan.

Bad: Ivan doubles and hits twice while Levion misses.

Good: He doesn’t crit and has switched off of distance attacks. I forgot about plinking.

Althares grabs the last item - an Eclipse tome - leaving boss and throne all that’s left undone.

Even with his Accuracy woes, Ace whips out two Javelin hits. I love you, Ace.

just for chuckles, I let Howard take a shot with the Killer Lance. No one dies and he doesn’t hit.

I move Anakin up for Motivating Ace before having second thoughts.

Remember what I said about Light Magic being a good finisher due to its high accuracy?

No one dies, but he makes both hits.

Oh. Huh.

I’ll take it.

And this chapter is FUCKING FINISHED. I have so many regrets, largely due to making bad starting choices and not knowing how to finish. I probably didn’t need to steam roll it this hard, but Aside from some scares no one was actually at risk of death at any point. And there’s an arena next map for actual training and purchasing purposes.

Night all.

(if you have interest in my failed attempt, it’s a private post over here)