#forever iconic for going “fuck your bird signs”.

[nikoisme]

anyone else think about hector for too long and then crumble to the floor in pain.

[fishbaitslime]

Leafpool/Hawkfrost hypokits? Pls and thank you

hawkfrost and leafpool i think met at a gathering and leaf was immediately charmed by him. In my heart she has a thing for bad boys lol so she fell for him hard. hawk thought she was pretty and nice but defo was encouraged by tigerstar to get with her- but he did actually have genuine love feelings for her.

in this au, i think hawkfrost’s plans succeed in killing firestar, also killing brambleclaw. with no witnesses, he spins the story as him stumbling upon brambleclaw having trapped firestar, already taken the leaders lives- and hawkfrost in-turn fought brambleclaw to stop him before he moved onto the rest of thunderclan.

this kinda turned squirrelflight and leafpools relationship a bit sour, squirrel blaming hawk (rightfully) and leaf being like “you can’t see past your own nose and accept that bramble was just bad.” which thennn escalates to leafpool deciding to join riverclan as a medicine cat, the two becoming a leader medicine cat iconic duo power couple.

id like to think eventually hawkstars treachery is revealed which results in a lot of angst… perhaps ill make this an actual au lol

EAGLEFROST is our jay stand in. He’s still blind but becomes a warrior bc idk fuck the erins he can do what he wants. He’s revered throughout riverclan for his battle prowess and cunning, making for a skilled fighter even as an apprentice. This is partly due to having been trained in the dark forest all his life alongside his siblings. Eaglefrost isn’t dumb, he knows his family history.. he just is torn between honoring his legacy and doing what’s right. Renamed Eagle- because i think Hawk would talk Leafpool into a little more of a Cooler Bird Name. Then -frost as a kind’ve reference to his canon name being from his canon father, but also bc of his cold and calculated battle shit <3

TIGERLEAF is our lion, and our replacement medicine cat! I think Tigerstar would want a spy on the inside to starclan, so Hawk would probably fake a sign that would make he’s sons destiny within the medicine den. Tigerleaf is actually a very sweet soul, taking after Leafpool a lot and not at all his father or siblings. He is the voice of reason of the group, and he is usually the one to tell right from wrong. This leaves him within a lot of turmoil. His family is everything and that means their safety and success should be valued above all… right? Tiger- is because, again, I think Hawk/Tiger would disapprove of the Lion- prefix so yeagh. Leaf bc he plant doctor forever<3 but also his mom

TADPOLESTORM is our holly, and she is my favoriteee. Raised within the dark forest along her siblings, Tadpolestorm has been trained to be vicious but more importantly- fiercely loyal and obedient. Instead of the warrior code, Tadpolestorm is absolutely obsessed with helping her family. She know’s of (almost) all of Hawkstar’s deeds, and holds those secrets close to her chest. She would do anything to insure her father, mother, and brothers are safe- anything. Hawkstar has chosen her as elected deputy, and one day, leader. Tadpole- is from hawk’s brotherr and -storm is bc sheee a bit crazayyy (/affectionate)

despite all of this stuff, i do think Hawkstar does genuinely love Leafpool and his kids..he’s just got a lot going on.

warrior cat hypokit requests are open!

[cripplemagics]

Tired

Summary: A snippet of writing describing Jay’s first time meeting Elias after he escapes, as well as the immediate aftermath.  triggers: blood, language, general creepy guy vibes (Elias is the creepy guy vibing here) mentions/implications of human sacrifices. 

Jay finds themself about to hyperventilate. The hairs on the back of their neck stand up as they walk between rooms. This building’s abandoned, yet they sense remnants of magic, dark and grotesque magic. Elias is here. They recognize the gnawing sensation along their spine. It takes everything they have to not turn and run. Lucas and the other agents are outside, waiting for any sign of danger. But Jay knows Elias will do everything to keep them from signaling for help. That’s why they have their knife and several spells they’ve learned since Elias was imprisoned. If he doesn’t know that they have the spell, he won’t be able to counter it. Or that’s what they hope.

None of the rooms show signs of being lived in. While old graffiti paints the walls, there’s no mattresses or lanterns or anything else. At least it’s that way until Jay walks into the room farthest from the entrance. Immediately the air’s knocked out of them by the smell of charred flesh. When they manage to get their breathing stable it’s only to feel their throat close in terror at the sight before them. A pile of several burned and mutilated bodies sit before a makeshift altar. Across the top a flask lays sideways, spilling what they only hope is wine or some similar red drink. There’s a dirty and matted long lock of hair, the color indiscernible. Jay gets the awful feeling it’s blonde beneath the layer of dirt. The last thing laid out is the picture of them that Lucky lost in the move. Runes frame their body. An old icon stands on the altar as well, the image too obscene and twisted for them to describe. However they know who it is. Tiranagu, the corrupt sorcerer who turned himself into incorporeal magic to live forever. The magic that possessed Elias years ago.

“I would’ve had more if you hadn’t run, you know.” Jay has a hand on their knife when they whirl around to see Elias in the doorway. He blocks their exit, blood covered arms stretched to lean against the door frame. They can’t help but notice how clean his clothes are, and it irks them.

“All this time in prison and you’re still anal about your clothes getting blood on them?” They’re not going to let him actually talk about why either of them are here. Maybe if they stall long enough the agents outside will pick up on the situation and come in anyway.

“I wanted to look nice for our reunion Jay! Is that such a bad thing?” Elias relaxes his arms, giving Jay a second to see the magic crackling around his fingers. “Besides, blood feels so much better on the skin than it does on fabric. It’s far more visceral and sensual, don’t you agree?”

“To put it simply? No,” Jay can’t help but grimace. “You’re gross and blood is gross. Do you have any idea how many diseases you could get from it? You could die!” Not that they mind the idea of that. Elias grins, a sure sign they said the wrong thing.

“I’m glad you care so much about my wellbeing, Little Bird.”

“It’s more that I’m surprised you forgot everything I taught you about the risks of blood magic. I thought you were smarter,” Jay snarks. “Don’t fucking come near me with all that on you! Do you have any idea what you’ve done anyway? Before, you at least wouldn’t murder anyone. But now you’re sacrificing people?!” They stop, hands now grasping at the hem of their shirt and twisting it. Honestly the thought about Elias sacrificing people to become more powerful is just now settling in. It makes them sick. Their heart’s racing, body thrown fully into flight or fight, except they’ve chosen to freeze.

“All for you, I promise.” Elias’s words are enough for Jay to start shaking.

This is bad, it’s time to get help. Just get to the hallway and scream.

“Jay, pay attention now. I don’t need you dissociating on me again. This is an important occasion after all.” Their eyes snap up to meet his gaze. They’re angry now and their lips are set in a defiant scowl.

“No, shut up.”

“What?” Jay would be lying if they said they didn’t relish the confused look on Elias’s face. “Baby, did you just-”

“Yes, I did just tell you to shut up. And you forgot: I’m not yours. Which means I’m not your baby.” A silent spell roars through their mind and in an instant Jay lurches out into the hallway behind Elias. They barely register a curse from him as they forego any regard for safety. Bolting down the hall they scream for Lucas to give the signal. Bad, bad, bad; what spell should I use? What can I use? Focus. No, panic! Get to safety! Find people! Go, go, go!

Jay stumbles into harsh sunlight, still screaming when someone scoops them up. “No! Get off me! I’m not gonna let you do this-”

“Holden!” It’s Lucas. “Breathe, I promise I’m not going to do anything bad.” Jay found themself trembling intensely but they manage to take deep breaths. People storm the building as they let Lucas gently pull them away to a truck set up as HQ. Cool air does nothing to calm the sting of their flushed cheeks, but it does relax their muscles. Serenity’s waiting in the door for them. The dog goes to their side without hesitation, grateful to see them unharmed. Jay’s grateful to be out of the heat, but they’re disappointed. “I botched the mission.” Lucas lets them go so they can sit. “Hey, no you didn’t. We knew going in that he most likely wasn’t going to be caught today.” “I panicked!” Jay protests. “He got under my skin again. I let him get under my skin.” They look to Lucas for an extended reprimand, but he’s too busy filling a cup with water to say much. “Hasn’t therapy taught you that healing isn’t linear? You got triggered today in a way you didn’t think you’d ever have to deal with again.” He hands them the cup. “No one’s going to hold this against you. If you want to debrief now, you can. But if you need to cool off then we can wait.” Jay sips the water, noticing a camera feed that shows the other agents bringing out the corpses. “He killed more people. They were sacrifices. That’s what unnerved me Lucas,” Jay gulps. “He’s getting worse again.” They don’t want to drink again. Water’s too much for their system in this state of panic. Nausea already twists their stomach. “I’m out of ideas.” “It’s not your job to come up with ideas Holden. It never was.” “I know! I --” Feel helpless, like I can’t do anything right, as if I’m never  going to solve this problem because all I do is make it worse. “I’m tired.” They feel Lucas’s gaze soften. It’s an uncanny ability that comes from the heightened senses of a person in crisis. Fear taints their soul like a mold spore taking root on food. Something has to change, or they’ll be susceptible to Elias’s magic again. “Then it’s time to get you off site.” Lucas holds out their backpack and their cane. “I’m not about to make you wait while the others search the scene. You’ve done more than your share of work.” “Geeze, thanks,” Jay can’t help the sarcasm dripping from their lips. They take their things, slipping a hand through the loop on Serenity’s leash once standing up. “You guys could pay me, y’know. That’d help a tiny bit when it comes to this whole situation. I’m easily doing three times more than most of the agents on your payroll.”

[05aaphrodite]

I can't let you escape, not even to your own world

Pairings:Yandere! Venti x reader

Warnings:4th wall breaking,Slight crack fic,Reader death

(Plz don't let my friends see this lmao)

______________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐_______________

I chug all of my soda then slam it on the table "Aight, let's go farm for Venti's talent mats" I grabbed my controller then push the left joystick forward, after all of these grinding... I finally manage to get him on his rerun, I was skeptical that he would come home but surprisingly, I did a single pull then I got him, I'm grateful that I got my dream team, Xiao,Diluc,Venti,Bennett I will be saving for a Klee rerun.

My phone beeped a notification, I peek at it and it's my friend gc, I put down my controller then grab my phone

(A/n: Btw, the gc is based of my friend gc lol)

❀Genshin Gang❀

Diluc's hairtie

Y'ALL GUESS WHAT??

Albedo simp

OMGGGGGG CONGRATS BHIEEE

E_supremacy

CONGRATSSSSS

Xiao come home plz

I TOLD YA, YOU WILL GET HIM

Ventea

Hope all😭😭

VENTI CAME HOME

BROOOO CONGRATS OMG

ZHONGLI COME HOME

JK JK CONGRATS TOO

Diluc's hairtie

I was losing hope until I wished one more time😭

ZHONGLI COME HOME

CONGRATSSSS AGAIN, AND TO Y/N, BOTH OF YOU GOT VENTI

VENTI CAME HOME

THANKS PALL

E_supremacy 

Now my Zhongli is happy :D

Diluc's hairtie

YESSES

A smile plastered on my face, I'm so happy for them! My attention was stolen when Venti decides to say his idle line "Come on Traveler, let's go! The world is full of lost ballads just waiting to be rediscovered." I put my phone down then grab my controller again "Ok ok, I will pay attention to you now" I chuckled humorously "Good! Just don't make me murder your friends."

The moment he said that line, my thumb suddenly stopped pushing the joystick, did he just..... did I just heard that right? Murder... your friends? What does he mean by that? Someone never mentioned this voiceline of his, I should check the character icon. I clicked on the character icon then proceed to his voicelines, I checked every details but I can't seem to find it, maybe it's a bug? The fact that I was talking to my friends.... maybe Mihoyo intended it?

I shrugged my shoulders then continue to the domain to farm for talent materials. After countless of grinding, I started to have fun with his wind current while harassing random hilichurls for fun, I made him sat at the Barbatos statue "You finally came home..." I smiled as I touch the screen, Venti looked at the camera then smiled "That's so cute! He smiles when he looks at at camera!" I awed, I continue to fawn over him.

⌣ ‿ ‿ ‿ ‿ ‿ ‿ ⌣⌣ ‿ ‿ ‿ ‿ ‿ ‿ ⌣

I woke up by the sound of my ps4 opening, the bright light illuminated my body, and to my surprise, my ps4 opened by itself "What the fuck?" I stood up from the bed then went to investigate it. The creepiest thing is that Venti is the only one in my party, and he is sitting at barbatos' hands, and then I remembered the hacked accounts in genshin, this could be a sign..

I hurriedly grab my controller then check my characters, all of them were Venti! I can't find a single character other than him! What's going on!? I check my weapons but they are okay, I checked my profile and nothing changed but my icon was set to Venti, i checked my primogems and fate but nothing changed, in fear of getting hacked, I contacted Mihoyo for customer support, I can't lose Xiao, I whaled for him! I restarted my ps4 then go back to sleep, in hopes that it will be resolved next morning.

I rubbed my eyes then stretch my arms wide, I look at my ps4 then my phone, I grab my phone then text on the gc

❀Genshin Gang❀

VENTI CAME HOME

Guyssss, something weird happened yesterday 

ZHONGLI COME HOME

Why?

VENTI CAME HOME

My ps4 opened by itself and Venti was the only one in my party, I tried to change my party set back to normal but all of them were Venti

Albedo simp

Welp, sounds like a bug

But hey, freemogems :D

VENTI CAME HOME

My weapons and primogems were untouched but the weird thing is that my character icon is set to Venti, but I didn't change it

This is like a Ddlc reference lmaooo

Xiao come home plz

Aight, time to report to Mihoyo for free 600 primogems 

E_supremacy

Be careful, maybe you're getting hacked? You should change your password incase

VENTI CAME HOME

Yep bro, I will change it

I put my phone down then open my ps4, I prayed to myself that everything is back to normal. Happiness washed over me when I saw that my original party is deployed "must've been a crazy bug.." I chuckled, I change my icon back to Xiao then continue with the grinding "Ooohhh timmie's birds" I smirked, I switched to Xiao then climb the nearest cliff, I glide then plunge on the birds "Free fowls!!" I exclaimed then claim the fowls, my character suddenly switched  back to Venti, I didn't even press anything other than claim fowls "You know I'm getting impatient.." Venti said, again this was not even in his voice lines, then I notice that something is odd with my venti, he kept saying weird lines everytime my attention is drifted to somewhere else, could it be Mihoyo's doings? I hope so, I don't want a ddlc fiasco again.

After farming for his ascension materials, I quit genshin then read some fanfictions in Tumblr, I came across a Kaeya fanfic then proceed to read the contents. All of a sudden, my ps4's screen started to distort, my eyes widened at the sight of it, then a bright light surrounded me, making my head dizzy

.

.

.

. 

"Traveler, you're awake" I woke up to a familiar voice reaching my ears, I blinked my eyes slowly to realize that I'm not in my room, where am I? My jaw dropped when the person I saw in my eyes is none other Venti, this is impossible! He's not real! "Venti...?" I tilt my head in confusion, there's no way this is real.... this must be a dream! The bard showed a genuine smile before putting down his lyre "I'm happy that you pulled for me, I will go crazy if you pulled for him instead, hehe." Venti had a patronizing smile after that, my eyes widened as I sat up "Venti? There's no way that you're real!" I said, feeling my empty pockets, Venti sighed as he stood up, he had his lyre in his hand "Come on Traveler, let's go celebrate the windblume festival." the God reached out his hand, I was reluctant to respond to his offer, he seems a bit suspicious to me, considering my ps4 sucked me in Teyvat. Not to mention, he said these weird lines when I was communicating with my friends, and my controller would move on its own when I'm playing another character "What are you waiting for?" A smile was om his lips, I took his hand then stood up "Ok, let's go." Venti giggled as he led me in Mondstadt, I gaze behind to see the Vennessa tree.

No way.... all of this seemed real... the designs.... the npcs.... all of them are accurate! The only difference is that I don't see control menu "Isn't it beautiful? Traveler?" Venti turned to me, I nodded with hesitant. As my eyes scanned the whole city, Fischl and Bennett were talking to each other, Kaeya,Rosaria, and Diluc at the same table, although Diluc seems poker faced, Barbara was performing for the crowd, Jean and Lisa are eating together, Albedo,Sucrose, and Timaeus are experimenting,Amber is seen gliding, everything seemed lively more than the actual game.... "Come on Traveler!" The bard took my hand without giving me time to consent.

The rustling sounds of the leaves snap me back to reality, it still feels like a dream, did Mihoyo said something about this? The atmosphere is so lively and different "Uh oh woahhh!! Watch out!" Amber then crashed into Noelle, I giggled slightly then turn to the bard who was playing the lyre for a small crowd, as the sweet melodious tone halt to stop, the crowd clapped their hands, I smiled a little bit as I made my way towards him "Did you like it?" Venti inquired, I nodded then smiled, the bard chuckled as he took my hand then led me somewhere.

I realized we were getting far away from the festival, perturbation washed over me "Venti.... where are we going?" sweat dropped on my temples, Venti looked at me with a menacing smile "Somewhere..." 

He led me to starsnatch cliff, the breeze of the wind soothes my nostrils, I can't believe all of these are real.... Venti picked a Cecilia flower then hand it to me, I narrowed my eyes "Are you really.... real?" I gaze at his eyes 

"I'm aware that all of us are just video game characters, that's why I'm a God"

My eyes widened as he said that, he tucked the cecilia behind my ear "Y/n, will you stay here forever..?" The bard took both of my hands, his puppy eyes gleaming, I do want to visit Genshin.... but that does not mean I will abandon my world 

"Venti.... I have my friends and family there..." I said, I averted my gaze to the floor, his grip on me got tighter "Y/n, your world does not need you" his tone was a mix of devastate and anger "All you need is me, you belong here" 

My eyebrows furrowed, what does he mean by that!? "No! I can't just leave everyone! My friends care about me!"  I screamed in frustration. He then uses his anemo powers on me that sent me flying through the air "Arghh! Let me go!!" I desperately try to break free

"Don't you see that I love you? I don't like it when you control me everyday" Venti was feigning sadness on his tone 

"Because you're never real!" I retorted back, a grin was marked on his face "I ever regret pulling for you!" I yelled. The bard went closer then cup my cheeks "So? You already got me, you did this to yourself" then his hands swayed, causing me to fall of the cliff, my life flashed before me, this is it....

"May your soul rest in this game"

[mirrorfalls]

Lego Liveblogs ST: TOS, part 8 (of who-the-hell-knows-how-many?)

And here we are, the first one I literally know nothing about by reputation. Balance of Terror is a nice enough title, punchy if a bit generic - let's see where it takes us.

* We're wasting no time with this one, folks. Thirty seconds into a happy wedding ceremony and we get an honest-to-Great Bird call to battle. * This is a nice sci-fi touch, really - despite having fought out-and-out nuclear war with them, Earth still has no idea what the Romulans look like, because space is just That Damn Big and there just wasn't the tech to take POWs. ** Which begs the question, though: how do they know the Romulans ever acknowledged this treaty? * Why hello there, Casualty-of-the-Week. So nice of you to drop that bit of family history. * You can't make flirting work, guys. Stick to technobabble. * Ooh, that must've hurt. * A nice bit of leadership from Kirk - you don't want to go hopping into war on one hothead's say-so, but you also want to assure you're at least willing to listen to him. ** That said, if this leads to a giant witch-hunt aboard the ship, I retain my right to backtrack. *** Like right now. * The Romulans have... Spock Ears! It shouldn't work as a dundundun cliffhanger nearly this well, but somehow it does. ** On a general note - the Space Roman costumes are obviously silly as hell, the pseudo-Vulcan makeup even moreso (I understand later seasons will be overhauling them dramatically), but there's something interesting to be said about how Trek's first Enemy Planet, smack in the middle of this Cold War parable, is based off a Western icon. A memory, perhaps, of who the instigator of the last real-life Great War fashioned his empire after? * Also an interesting choice: introducing the hardasses (on both ships) as being right about everything. Granted, I suppose this Commander guy is supposed to be Kirk's counterpart, not the random crewman's. * Back on the Enterprise: a multi-sided debate where you're not quite sure of the motive behind anyone's argument. Does Spock really think it's best to go in guns-blazing, or is he just looking to temper the Vulcan-hater with a little reverse psychology? Is Bones really opposed to attacking, or does he just want to offer counterbalance? And then there's good old Sulu, raising all kinds of practical concerns... * ... whoa, they're actually going through with it? I thought they'd wait at least another act for that. * D'aww, what a humanizing moment for The Enemy. Sure hope one of the sequels didn't retroactively ruin it! * Okay, in all honesty, I was expecting this to be a "Crew must learn to Overcome their internal bigotry if they want to beat the Romulans" fable. But all signs point to something bigger than that, which is a pleasant surprise. * Ouch. ** Maybe friend's-corpse-as-decoy has been done in a hundred WWII pictures by the time this ep aired, but it got me all the same. (And really, how many would've humanized the Enemy doing it?) * Two ships in the Neutral Zone, first to breathe loses. Let's do this. * That is the most I-told-you-so smirk I've seen in my life. * So Kirk's having buyer's-remorse over his sabre-rattling. I'm not sure Bones' peptalk really gets past boilerplate on any level, but what the hell, Kelley manages to sell it. * Oboy. Looks like we're not done with the Bigotry-is-Bad moral after all. * Holy fuck ** Tearing out your own self-destruct system and tossing it at the enemy? Sorry, Starfleet, but that is officially more Metal than anything you've ever come up with. * So Kirk's jumps on the first excuse to get the Vulcan-hater on a separate deck from Spock. Shrewd... is what I would say if it didn't also put him in charge of all the guns. ** And then Spock has to go down to the gundeck, anyway. Well, at least we've learned that Bigotry is Bad. ** Can we take this as proof that Spock now has the biggest bodycount of the entire crew? * "What purpose will it serve to die?" "Well, it saves me from getting put on trial for attacking your outposts and getting executed anyway, sooo..." * One casualty on the Federation's side? Not bad for a day's work. ** Even if the wedding is off forever now. Cry as long as you need to, sweetheart. The Captain's here.

Welp, eight episodes (plus a pilot) in, and I've found it. The first one that stands up as legitimately good, thrilling, coherent television, from head to tail. There are still headscratchy bits here and there (do recall that no matter how much of an Awesome and Worthy Adversary he is, that Romulan attacked a bunch of Earth outposts for no reason), and maybe it counts more as Space Opera than science-fiction, but its pacing, cliffhangers, and little character moments are all ten for fucking ten. A leading candidate for any fan's rewatch pile.

(And, even if she's barely got three lines in the thing - a worthy note for Grace Lee Whitney to bow out on.)

Next: Sugar, spice, and everything nice... these were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect sci-fi script. But Gene Roddenberry accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction: Freudian rocks.

[sapphicambitions]

My Favorite / Underrated Lines of Red, White, and Royal Blue:

Just did a second read through and marked all of them. We all know and love lines like “Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams?” and “History, huh? Bet we could make some,” and “America: he is my choice,” but this books is a goldmine for fucking fantastic and romantic lines, so I made a list of them. Long post so under the cut!!

-Alex’s kind of love story is much more Shakespearean.

-”I’m trying to understand why you’re so committed to acting like someone you’re not, considering you just told the little girl in there that greatness means being true to yourself.”

-...and when he turns and catches his reflection in the mirror by the closet, he’s right back in his teens, caring too much about his parents and helpless to change his situation. Except now he doesn’t have any AP classes to enroll in as a distraction.

-Alex tries to imagine what they look like: the prince and the First Son, the two leading heartthrobs of their respective countries, shoulder to shoulder on their way to the bar. It’s intimidating and thrilling, living up to that kind of rich, untouchable fantasy.

-Maybe he can absorb some of the “much” from the place where their shoulders are pressed together.

-He thinks about Henry, and something twists in his chest, like a stretch he’s been avoiding for too long.

-”I don’t know, man. I was in my junior year of high school, and I touched a boob. It wasn’t very profound. Nobody’s gonna write an off broadway play about it.”

-How dare Henry come into Alex’s house looking like the goddamned James Bond offspring that he is, drink red wine with the Prime Minister, and act like he didn’t slip Alex the tongue and ghost him for a month.

-He feels himself standing at a very tall, very dangerous precipice, with no intention of backing away.

-He laughs into Henry’s mouth, instantly caught up in his own dramatic mental portrait of the two of them painted in oils, young icons of their nations, naked and shining wet in the lamplight.

-He rolls onto his side and listens, trails the back of his hand across the pillow next to him and imagines Henry lying opposite in his own bed, two parentheses enclosing 3,700 miles.

-”You have so much in you, it’s almost impossible to match it. But he’s your match, dumbass.”

-...because Alex has never met a challenge he didn’t love, and he--well, Henry is a challenge, head to toe, beginning to end.

-All those nights Henry can’t sleep, just knocking around these endless, impersonal rooms, like a bird trapped in a museum.

-Henry lets Alex take him apart with painstaking patience and precision, moans the name of God so many times that the room feels consecrated.

-He wants to call Henry. He guesses it makes sense--they’ve always been fixed points in each other’s world, little magnetic poles. Some laws of physics would be reassuring right now.

-He looks like something soft and downy Alex wants to sink into, and he realizes the knot of anxiety in his chest has finally slacked.

-If Alex’s head is a storm, Henry is the place lighting hits the ground.

-He truly is a picture, wearing an expression of bewildered panic and absolutely nothing else.

-”The phrase “see attached bibliography” is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.”

-”I do think I got a gut feeling about you, I just didn’t have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star?”

-”If I’m north, I shudder to think where in God’s name we’re going.”

-That long. That much.

-He wears the key to his childhood home around his neck, but he doesn’t know the last time he actually thought about the boy who used to push it into the lock.

-The lines of him are long and languid in the moonlight, just skin and skin lit soft and blue, and he’s so beautiful that Alex thinks this is the moment, the soft shadows and pale thighs and crooked smile, should be the portrait of Henry that goes down in History. There are fireflies winking around his head, landing in his hair. A crown.

-He wants to match the new freckles across Henry’s nose to the stars above them and make him name the constellations.

-That, he realizes suddenly, is the danger of allowing love into this--the acknowledgment that if something goes wrong, he doesn’t know how he will stand it.

-What if it was never his decision to make?

-He’s spent too much of his life talking, talking, talking not to know the signs when someone doesn’t want to hear him anymore.

-He thought he was reckless before, but he understands now--holding love off was the only thing keeping him from losing himself in this completely, and he’s gone, stupid, lovesick, a fucking disaster.

-And that is, officially, too fucking much.

-”When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you? Are you so fucking self-absorbed as to think this about you and whether or not I love you rather than the fact that I’m an heir to the fucking throne? You at least have the option to not chose a public life eventually, but I will live and die in these palaces and in this family so don’t you dare come to me and question if I love you when it’s the thing that could bloody well ruin everything.”

-Don’t miss it this time. He’s too important.

-”If there’s any legacy for me on this bloody earth, I want it to be true. So I can offer you all of me, in whatever way you’ll have me.”

-...and looks at his fingers and thinks about holding the Bible at his mother’s inauguration with the same hand. 

-He wonders what Santa Chiara would think of them, a lost David and Jonathan, turning slowly on the spot. 

-”Let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war.”

-”I thought, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire.”

-Alex wants to go to war for this man, wants to get his hands on everything and everyone that ever hurt him, but for once, he’s trying to be the stead one.

-”You and me and history, remember? We’re gonna fucking fight. Because you’re it, okay? I’m never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. So, I promise you, one day we’ll be able to just be, and fuck everyone else.”

-It would be a lie because it wouldn’t be him.

-”but i’ve kissed your mouth, that corner, the place it goes, so many times now, i’ve memorized it, topography on the map of you, a world i’m still charting. i know it. i added it to the key. here: inches to miles. i can multiply it out, read your latitude and longitude. recite your coordinates like la rosaria.

-The president stands on the edge of a career-ending scandal, measures her breaths evenly, and waits for her son to answer.

-And there’s no room left to agonize over it, nothing left to do but say the thing he’s know all along.

-One. One. One.

-Alex hasn’t been a good Catholic in a long time, but he knows confession is a sacrament. They were supposed to stay safe. Fuck.

-If Henry’s voice on the phone was a tether, his body is the gravity that makes it possible, his hand gripping the back of Alex’s neck like a magnetic force, a permanent compass north.

-”And he is prepared to give it all to you, which is far more than I ever, in a thousand years thought I would see him do.”

-”Are you so determined to believe nothing could change? That nothing should change? We can have a real legacy here, of hope, and love, and change.”

-Never tell me the odds.

-This is it. October 2, 2020, and the whole world watched, and history remembered.

-It’s been one long, long year of learning Henry inside and out, learning himself, learning how much he still has to learn, and just like that, it’s time to walk out there and stand at a podium and confidently declare it all as fact.

-The way Henry’s looking at him in the pitcher is so affectionate, so openly loving, that seeing it from a third person’s perspective almost makes Alex want to look away, like he’s staring into the sun. He called Henry the North Star once. That wasn’t bright enough.

-All at once, Alex is in love all over again.

-From his side, Henry, whose eyes are wet, seizes Alex’s face roughly with both hands and kisses him like the end of the movie.

-...Alex thinks his heart’s going to break trying to hold the size of this entire moment, the completeness of it, a thousand years of history swelling inside his ribcage.

-Goddamned forever.

[wardencommanderrodimiss]

Witches, Chapter 9: snippets of a day at the WAA, except the day is April 20, and nobody’s making weed jokes because all of them but Athena have something else to associate with this particular day.

Actually Clay’s making weed jokes but he doesn’t work here. You don’t even go here!

[Seelie of Kurain Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

[Witches Chapter Masterlist] [ao3]

----

Apollo wakes in the morning, before his alarm, to the refrain of “I’m Clay Terran and I’m fine!”, which means that he isn’t fine, at all, and also that Apollo isn’t going back to sleep even if he had time. 

He rolls out of bed and pads into the kitchen in time to watch Clay, considering the coffee maker on the counter, turn away from it and grab an energy drink out of the fridge. “Rough work week so far?” he asks.

“Not your level yet,” Clay replies, “but pretty damn close.” He cracks the can open and drinks from it for four entire consecutive seconds. “The director’s been getting progressively more unhinged since Monday morning, and then that gets Mr Starbuck anxious, and then there’s a feedback loop, and then yesterday I was around to get to hear the director and one of the robotics engineers yelling at each other and she told him to go fuck himself - which, honestly iconic, you go, Aura, do it for all of us—” He pauses for breath and another sip of caffeine. “But it’s. Y’know. Not good, all considered.”

“Sometimes I feel like you shouldn’t be telling me all this,” Apollo says with a laugh.

Clay shrugs. “Whatever, dude - you know the director and Mr Starbuck, and I’ve only signed NDAs for tech stuff and the like. Nothing about fun personnel, uh—” He waves a hand and nearly knocks over a glass that was left on the counter by the sink. “Eccentricities. Anyway I hope you didn’t want to eat before work, because we have caffeine, and that is it.”

Apollo nods. He was supposed to do the grocery shopping on Sunday. Then Trucy dragged him out and it turned into three exhausting days of chasing yokai.

And the chase isn’t over, either. He’s relieved, the part of him that isn’t hypocritical and dead; ease his conscience for the low low price of tramping through the woods to find an actual giant bird monster and being forever afraid of how Blackquill managed to eavesdrop on that conversation. (He would swear Taka wasn’t there until it was.) That, and the higher price of knowing that it took the chief prosecutor to get them to move, that without him, and Blackquill, Apollo would’ve just stayed laying in the dirt. Athena might’ve gone mad, though.

“Maybe I’ll just get brunch at Eldoon’s,” Apollo says.

Clay feigns gagging, which turns into a real cough when he tries to stop too quickly. “It’s what you’d deserve.”

Apollo flips him off as he leaves the kitchen to shower and do his hair; Clay remains there to get caffeinated and scream. He has migrated to the living room when Apollo returns with dried and gelled spikes. “You know what day today is?” Clay asks.

All month, Apollo watched the calendar, watching the date come closer and closer. The twentieth of April, and a year ago, something. “The anniversary of me getting my boss arrested and starting down a path that ends with me working at the world’s worst law office, and you driving us on a road trip to pull a soul out of a tree stump?”

Clay blinks. “Dude,” he says. “No. It’s the day that we’re obligated to make stoner jokes even if you’ve never snorted a weed in your lives. Four-twenty bl—”

“Fuck you,” Apollo interrupts, very solemnly. Clay cackles. “‘Snorted a weed’, are you serious—”

Clay throws his empty can at him. Apollo catches it and hurls it back, missing Clay entirely and bouncing it off the coffee table. “Trying to give you something to think about that isn’t how fucked your life got this time last year! You’re welcome, dude!” Apollo snorts. “Or I’d try to regale you with more stories about the Center imploding but we’d be here for the rest of our lives.”

“Oh.” It’s not the route that Apollo would go for distraction, but that’s because he isn’t Clay, and that’s how they manage to be both best friends and a mostly-functioning household. “I’m gonna pass on that when I see Trucy, though. Not sure the thought counts when it’s weed jokes but her biological dad’s death was the thing happening last year.”

“Hard pass,” Clay agrees. “Just scream for a while.” He snaps his fingers. “It worked for us!” 

It wasn’t the twentieth, though, Zak’s death. It was a few days before: a weekend interim, and Apollo notified late Sunday night that Phoenix Wright wanted him to head up his defense. He slept for about four and a half hours. And if he remembers correctly, the actual date of Zak Gramarye’s death, in the early hours of the morning, was the seventeenth. 

And surely Trucy remembers that. A few days ago she would’ve started thinking of that. A few days ago - the seventeenth, Sunday, she called him up and told him he had a job and that job was coming with her to Nine-Tails Vale. Was that her choice of distraction - which makes him her choice of company. Because Jinxie was working, and Athena wasn’t here yet and Phoenix was picking her up. But surely Trucy has other friends?

(But Apollo’s the one who knows. Just like with Klavier; coincidentally, someone else Apollo needs to check in with on this particular day.)

“When does screaming not work?” Apollo asks, going to get the grocery list from the kitchen so that he can deal with it after work, try to set his life back to a normal schedule.

-

Trucy lies on the couch, her feet dangling over the arm, already there in the office under the dimmed lights when Apollo walks in. “Hey,” she says, without moving, without looking up, and most worryingly, without the mask of a smile forced onto her face.

Apollo drops his briefcase next to the other couch, unwilling to bother getting to his desk right now. “Hey,” he replies, sinking down into the cushions. The lights flicker like a blink and have a warmer tone to them on their return. 

Trucy’s hands unclasp and the blue mitamah falls onto her chest. “We met a year ago today, remember?” As if Apollo could forget. She handed him a playing card and he stepped out of one world into the next. 

“I didn’t know who you were that day, though,” Apollo says. A girl in a top hat handing him suspicious evidence; that’s the way Phoenix fell, too. 

“Yeah, Daddy didn’t tell me your name either,” Trucy says. Of course he didn’t. It stings more than it should. “Said to give it to the red guy with the hair and the bracelet.”

So those are his most prominent characteristics - those and his voice. “I see,” Apollo says, spinning his bracelet around his wrist. Trucy watches with big staring eyes, the mitamah back cradled in her hands. So damn complicated for both of them. “This bracelet was my mother’s,” he says. Clay knows this, Clay and no one else in this hemisphere. “It’s the only thing I have from her or know about her.”

Trucy blinks. She raises her head up an inch and falls back. “Not even her name?” Apollo shakes his head. “My mother’s name was Thalassa.” This, Apollo knows. Phoenix told him. “Everything I know about her, someone had to tell me. Daddy, my other daddy, didn’t like to talk about her, but Uncle Valant said that she had the most beautiful singing voice and that’s why I’m so good at it too.” Pause. Looks away from Apollo, again opening her hands to ponder the mitamah. “I can sometimes hear this - humming, kind of? Like some faint echo voice. Like she’s still trying to sing to me.”

Apollo can only remember how unnerving he found the sound. Unnerving, and more unnerving for the way he wanted to keep listening. A siren’s song, reeling him in. Better not to say that. Better to let Trucy just have any comfort she can take from it. 

She closes her eyes, faced turned to the ceiling. “I want to be a stage magician,” she says. “Like Uncle Valant. Do tricks that entertain people, not trick them to hurt them and be selfish. He made a career out of it alone for seven years. Sort of. Somewhat.” Her eyes open, remaining fixed above her. “But I bet I could. I just have to find my audience here. My Youtube audience is good but not really enough, but I bet I can make a niche. Like you have a niche, all the most impossible and complicated cases.”

Her tone is that of talking to herself, of talking without wanting response. Apollo leans against the arm of the couch. Not even 8:30 in the morning and they’re both exhausted and sad. What a week, and only half done. “Like we generalize that people in LA don’t trust magic but that’s just a generalization, you know? I want a spotlight. Disappearing acts, escape the coffin before the sword goes through - all that. Not just like Uncle Valant did, working in the wings for Lamiroir and Prosecutor Gavin.” She finally props herself up on her elbow. “I wondered if Prosecutor Gavin brought Uncle Valant on to try and ask him about Daddy’s last case, when Daddy disappeared. But that would be a really sneaky thing to do and Prosecutor Gavin is too pretty to be that sneaky.”

“You think so?” Apollo asks. “I think he knows he can get away with it because he’s pretty and everyone’s too distracted by that.” In a literal magic way. He’s pretty because he’s sneaky, and sneaky because he’s pretty, all because he’s glamourous. And all it cost him was his birthright. 

“Are you texting him?” Trucy pushes herself up the whole way, her eyes narrowed and assessing whether she can leap the coffee table between them to rip the phone from his hands. “Don’t tell him I said that!”

“I’m not telling him you said that!” Apollo is too complicit in that to be able to mention it. “You just reminded me that I was going to tell him about this last case.”

“That’s gonna be a really long text,” Trucy says. 

“It’s not like I’m gonna put the entire trial transcription in it!”

You would not believe the case I just went through.  Also, have you ever met prosecutor Blackquill?

“It’d be simpler to ask him on a date and just tell him about it.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Why not?” Trucy leans forward and Apollo instinctively presses his back into the couch and pulls his phone close. He can only begin to imagine what she would do if she got her hands on it. “You’d be able to see how he’s doing with…” She swallows and slumps backwards. “Y’know.”

He does, and speaks past a lump in his throat. “Yeah.”

All three of them, inextricably linked. And Apollo should be the one who has it together, at least relatively speaking, in this regard. It wasn’t his family. 

(Just reminds him of it. Take solace in the fact that Nahyuta and I look nothing alike. Don’t think about the fact that Dhurke looked nothing like Nahyuta, either.)

-

Athena whirls into the office at 9:05 am with what Apollo now understands is her base-level excitability. He and Trucy cleaned up the residual evidence of their feelings before she arrived, anticipating her arrival. Lock it all away; Athena doesn’t need to know what they’ve been through. Trucy reattaches her smile; Apollo shoves his phone back into his pocket. “Am I late?” Athena asks, stumbling straight into the couch. “I’m sorry! It won’t happen again!” 

“You’re not late unless Daddy’s here before you,” Trucy says. “No need to apologize! We’re all friends here!”

Athena, beaming now, ventures further into the room, her eyes casting around with the same attentiveness she used for a crime scene. Her gaze lingers on the portrait of Zak above the piano, and then the piano itself, table as it is for Trucy’s smallest stage-magic props and a small half-finished canvas that Vera left the last time she came to visit and they ended up playing blackjack instead of Trucy doing her homework and Vera her painting. That was two weeks ago. Not much gets done promptly if it isn’t for a case. “Do we have desks or do we just work from the couches?” Athena asks. “Because I mean, I totally—”

“Next room,” Apollo says. 

“Oh,” Trucy says, suddenly downcast. “That means I don’t have a desk anymore.”

“You never use a desk,” Apollo says. “You just work on the floor.”

“Oh,” Trucy says again, brighter now, and she follows Athena back to the desks to point her to the right one. “Yeah. I do. Anyway!” Athena dumps her bag on what is now her desk. “Welcome to the Wright Anything Agency, Athena! I was planning a speech over the weekend and then the case happened and you weren’t even at the office, so I’ve forgotten it by now. But that’s the WAA way! That’s Daddy and Polly’s court style, make it up as they go!”

“I resent that statement,” Apollo says. 

“Yeah, I saw it right from the bench these past two days!” Athena doesn’t sit down in the chair and instead hops up onto her desk, kicking her heels off the side of it. “I kept thinking we didn’t know anything and we were gonna sink, and then bam! Apollo’s turned it all around again!”

“That’s what he does best!”

“Ah,” Apollo says. The girls both grin at him, this once, alarmingly sincere. “Th-thanks.” He’d rather be properly equipped for a major case, the way he’s occasionally fortunate to get a client not accused of murder, and so not have a worrying number of adrenaline spikes per court session - but he’ll take what he can get.

“Speaking of court,” Trucy adds, crossing the room and flinging herself into Phoenix’s desk chair, the momentum rolling her back into the wall, “Daddy said that we’ve got to track down the real Tenma Taro now, too?”

“He mentioned that?” Apollo’s heart leaps back up to his throat. And just after he had his confidence bolstered, too. 

(Phoenix came back from the Prosecutors Office and called it “an unfortunate necessity”, but none of them could argue that it wasn’t a necessity. For their consciences; for the proper administration of justice; for the safety of the entire town of Nine-Tails Vale. Mayor Tenma might be its guardian wrestler-yokai, but he’s also the mayor of Tenma Town, and herding a yokai back to its prison is not a one-man job. Phoenix and his fae friends have the plan, or will at some point; depending on how much demonic activity they see out of the Vale, the timetable will move up or down. “Ideally, we deal with it in June, wait for the summer solstice,” he had said. “Fae powers fluctuate some with the seasons; yokai shouldn’t be much different. Hit it when it’s weakest, if we’re lucky.”)

“A little bit.” Trucy shrugs. “But I can help too! I’ve never known anything to get out of my panties if I didn’t want it too, so if we need a more secure place than the Forbidden Chamber—”

“Why did they have to be magic panties?” Apollo asks. “Why couldn’t it be magic literally anything else?”

“Don’t look a pair of gift panties in the waistband—”

“Enough!”

-

Phoenix arrives some time after 11, bleary-eyed though he has coffee in hand. “‘Morning, everyone,” he says, sounding as dead as he looks. He blinks a few times. “Athena. Truce. Apollo, how’re you doing?”

Is that question just for him or all of them, and Apollo the last to be listed? He wouldn’t know how to answer that question today were it anyone else asking, either. “Uh, fine,” he says. Phoenix’s eyes narrow slightly and drift around Apollo, assessing him in some way. “Except for the part where Athena’s making us up a workout regime to prepare for yokai-fighting.”

There is a moment's delay, Phoenix still pondering him, and then the words must finally hit and he laughs. “Athena,” he says, “are you really trying to get everyone in on punching Tenma Taro?”

“No!” she says indignantly. “It’s a couch-to-5k plan, basically. So that everyone’s got enough stamina to run away from yokai when we have to bait it out, and then you can run a race with me after!”

“We’re not using people as bait,” Phoenix says. “Overruled.” Athena raises her hand like they’re in a classroom and Phoenix is their teacher and not a lenient boss and absent mentor. “No, not even if you’re volunteering to be the bait.”

Athena lowers her hand. 

-

3:43 pm, Apollo’s phone buzzes, removing him from the outskirts of Trucy and Athena’s discussion, continued from the prior afternoon, about how one actually manages to purchase a vehicle (they don’t know) and heckling Phoenix for not having a driver’s license. At this point Apollo realizes he doesn’t know how or if Athena is driving legally in America and decides that he’s rather glad for any distraction.

-heard some unfortunates had to face him -you and fraulein??

Something about the messages bothers him, something he can’t put his finger on. 

Not Trucy. Agency has a new girl who just passed the Bar and she and I had to deal with the crazy magic murder samurai. Everything about it felt like an unplanned hazing ritual

He expects an answer right away; once Klavier starts talking, he usually keeps going. A minute ticks past, then another. Apollo figures out what isn’t right. Fraülein isn’t properly accented. Klavier usually takes more care than that. Appearances are too important to him, even - or maybe especially - when Apollo can’t see him.

Another minute. Apollo doesn’t look at the calendar. He looks at Phoenix, hunched over some books to study for the Bar, as Athena recalls as much as she can about taking it earlier in the year, in Europe. Her, speeding along in her career, and him, trying to make up for seven years of lost time that never should have been.

Apollo sends another text.

Are you all right?

(It’s not too presumptuous a question to ask off of one typo, not today, and not when they both know full well that through text, Klavier can lie to him.)

-

Phoenix leaves not long after four, telling the girls now that he’s actually trying to read, they are far too loud and distracting and he’s going somewhere quieter. Apollo assumes he must mean his apartment, except Phoenix doesn’t take any books with him, and Trucy shouts, “Say hi to Mr Edgeworth for me!” so she obviously knows or guessed something more than Apollo could.

“And me!” Athena adds. “Wait, what happens if we get a client in the next hour and you’re not here?”

“You were emailing Edgeworth this morning,” Phoenix says to her. “Didn’t you include ‘hi’ anywhere in there? Anyway, you’ve got Apollo. Unless you think there’s magic involved, I’m not the one to ask for help.”

He waves over his shoulder and closes the door, leaving Trucy plunking away without rhythm at the piano and Athena wincing at each new out-of-tune note. And Apollo, waiting.

-

“I’m co-opting your office for study space, since you’re the one who’s pushed me into this,” Phoenix says. 

“All right,” Edgeworth says, which is the lack of reaction that disappoints Phoenix even though he expects it because they’re adults now and Edgeworth keeps himself so much more tightly guarded, except where his ability to fold paper cranes is concerned, still. Then he meets Phoenix’s eyes and a shadow crosses his face, left over from their conversation yesterday. Should I bring it up again, this matter of trust? that expressions asks, and then the decision, no, and the lines between Edgeworth’s brows smooth out some. “How’s Trucy doing?”

He had asked the other day, too, and the answer is still the same. “She’s been pretending that nothing happened, that there’s no significance to these past few days, even to me.” Phoenix sighs and slumps deeper into the couch. “I know she always opens up to me when she’s ready, but…” She might not. She hasn’t let him in to her thoughts about Zak beyond that one night after she and Apollo found Thalassa’s soul. He doesn’t know if there’s more than love and grief, if her feelings are turning conflicted. 

(Phoenix’s opinion of Zak isn’t conflicted. Neither is Edgeworth’s.)

“And Apollo’s hung up on it all too,” Phoenix adds. It was written plain on his face, if the Psyche-Locks when he said he was fine weren’t indication enough. (Though the one of the three did break when he talked about Athena’s hoped-for running regime.) “And I’m pretty sure I’m the worst person to talk to him about anything, and if I try I’ll dig myself deeper in his opinion.” Hell, forget saying anything. Existing around Apollo is probably a jackhammer to the bedrock at the bottom of the grave Phoenix has dug. Best to stay out of his way, let him and Athena now do their thing. He’s a smart kid. He’ll be fine. 

Phoenix doesn’t like the expression that Edgeworth is making again and pivots quickly to something he meant to ask at some point anyway. “And how’s this side of things holding up?”

“You don’t need to be so obtuse in asking,” Edgeworth says. “Gavin’s seemed fine. I lightened his case load last week and this, anyway, to give him room to breathe if he needs it.”

“That’s kind of you,” Phoenix says. Edgeworth’s frown returns, deeper than before, as though the implication is that he usually isn’t. “I’m glad you’re not holding a grudge.” 

(“Anymore” is the word they both know fits silently at the end of that sentence.)

“With the information I was given, you understand why I drew such a conclusion,” Edgeworth says. 

(And “if you had let me in, I would have acted differently” hangs in the air, a ghost over them both.)

Phoenix picks himself up to go investigate the law tomes on Edgeworth’s shelves. “I know.”

(The punchline: “And I’m not sorry because I’m afraid Kristoph would have killed you if you tried to get involved.” And then the words he won’t ever say, “I’d spend seven more lifetimes disbarred and disgraced than risk losing you again.”)

Behind him, Edgeworth sighs. And all he says is, “Though Gavin did call out today. I’m not sure that’s a good sign.”

“No,” Phoenix agrees. “I’m not either.” His hand twitches to move toward his phone instead the books in front of him. Give Apollo a call, tell him to check in on that. 

But he’s pretty sure Apollo wouldn’t appreciate him micromanaging his personal relationships, either. (Any more than he’s already given him nudges regarding Klavier. The way he wishes someone had nudged him to reach out to Edgeworth, not that he’s sure if Edgeworth back then would have accepted the offered hand.)

You can’t save everyone, whispers the bitter voice of his hard heart, calcified from years of drowning. Pick a priority, it sneers. Stop bleeding for every sad sorry soul that comes your way. Athena. Klavier. Vera. Blackquill’s blacked-out case file on his desk, not so much for him but for Edgeworth, who hopes they can piece the legal system back together if they just keep digging. 

And for once, he tells that voice to shut up, because if he can bleed he’s still alive. That’s how he can even know he is - not that he’s necessarily still human, but that he’s anything at all. 

-

“Do we have food at home?” Athena asks.

“We did,” Trucy says. “And it was enough for Daddy and me for a week. And you ate it all the past three days.”

It’s like in high school, in the last class of the day, with just a few minutes left on the clock and everyone getting antsy. Except it’s a law office, even if Athena is the age to still be in high school, and Trucy is still in high school. And yeah, maybe at the end of the day sometimes in the Gavin Law Office, some of them would be itching to go home. But they’d never dare show it. And Apollo still feels culture shock, sometimes, both from the memory of working for Kristoph, and from his concept of what he’s pretty sure a law office should be like.

He’s mostly used to it, mostly. It’s just odd, to have Athena here - another actual lawyer here. Like she’s part of an attempt to make this into a respectable business, but nothing else has changed.

“So what you’re saying is that as soon as we’re out of here I need to go buy more chicken,” Athena says.

“You want to do my grocery shopping too?” Apollo asks. “You’ve got the car for transporting it all.”

“If you give me your credit card, sure.” Athena’s grin says, in bold type, that she should absolutely not be trusted with anyone’s credit card.

“No.”

She blinks at him with poorly feigned innocence. “But that’s the fair way to do it, if some of your groceries are gonna be taking up the trunk space that I need to use for chicken.”

“How much chicken are you buying?” Apollo asks.

“I need protein for my workouts!”

“I can’t believe you got a gym membership here before you even looked for an apartment.” Trucy raises her eyebrow at him. Apollo considers what he just said and lays it against everything he knows of his new coworker. “Actually, I can,” he amends, and he has to laugh with her at her obvious pride in this fact.

She’ll be nice to have around. Good company. It gets quiet when Trucy isn’t around, and when it’s quiet he has even more time to wonder, to ask questions of people who he’ll never again see to answer them. And sometimes in the quiet he finds himself talking out loud, knowing there’s someone listening and not knowing how much capacity she has to repeat what he’s said. She can flicker lights and shatter mirrors; can she use a keyboard? An ouija board?

He likes the prospect of always having someone around who can talk back, even if he won’t be saying to Athena anything like the ponderings he’s put to Mia. 

“We’re heading out,” Trucy says. “It’s not quite five but I’m the boss here.”

“Okay,” Apollo says. “I’m trying to finish writing up what happened this case.”

“How’s that going?” Trucy asks. 

Apollo frowns at his journal and the ink that’s smudging in his haste to write. “It makes even less sense to me this way.”

“Oh, I’m glad I’m not the only one getting more confused trying to remember what all we just did,” Athena says. “What a needlessly convoluted murder plan.” She lingers with her foot propping the door open after Trucy has already gone out. “See you tomorrow! Good luck with your grocery shopping! Just remember I offered!”

“You offered to commit credit card fraud!”

The door closing doesn’t fully muffle her laughter. Apollo returns to his desk, finds that he’d left his phone there and in the fifteen minutes he had slowly migrated up to the front room with the girls, he missed several strings of messages, all from one particular person.

-have you ever been to kitaskis bakery -pretty sure its not even a money laundering fromt -but if it is its the best front I’ve eaten at -love to say it wins by being the only but - :| -lets not talk about that

He’s pretty sure that between the lines, all these read “not all right”. He keeps scrolling. The next set are timestamped just five minutes later.

-Vongole was mad I wouldnt give her muffin -so she ate salt packets -threw up the salt pakcets -now sticking her head in every trash can in the park -will update you if she finds panties -if she does I think this parkr is cursed -even if she doesn’t

Apollo closes his eyes and leans his head back until the ceiling lights bleed bright through his eyelids. He did ask, and here, the answer. Tossing his journal and pen in a drawer and deciding he’ll deal with the write-up tomorrow, he grabs his bag and heads for the door. If Athena isn’t arriving late unless she gets there after Phoenix, then Apollo isn’t leaving early if he’s the last to leave. 

The lights in the room blink out before he hits the switch, but when he looks back, they spring back on and again flicker off, like a question. “Yeah, I’m done for the day,” Apollo says. The blinds drop down over the windows and hit the sills with a loud clattering sound that makes him jump. Whether she meant to startle him or not, he has the urge to explain to her, justify himself. Better to be safe. Better to be sure. “Gavin’s finally lost his mind, I think.” 

He waves his phone screen at the ceiling. He has no idea how she knows what’s happening in the office, whether she can see everything or hear or something else, but he’s found himself imitating Phoenix, orienting himself toward the ceiling to address her. Their office, a shrine, and she, their patron god. The Holy Mother of the Wright Anything Agency.

The front door swings open for him, and the rest of the office darkens behind him.

[nightcoremoon]

I think part of the reason why I hate horror movies is because of the overreliance on jumpscares and shock value and BWAH SUDDEN LOUD NOISES rather than on atmosphere, believability, tension, fear.

here's a list of horror movies from google and the reasons why I hate them, or why I love them, or that they're not actually horror movies.

A quiet place: haven't seen it yet but it's a thriller more so than a horror. thrillers can be scary though but then again so can comedies. and romances. 50 shades is definitely scary: it is psychological abuse after all.

Halloween: slasher film, automatically boring and shit. I'm including the entirety of the franchise here, by the way, and I'm also gonna be including Friday the 13th, nightmare on elm street, etc. They're all the same brand of sensationalist garbage. maybe the very first in each series could be redeemable but the mass volume of shitty and terrible CGI gorefests have ruined them forever. "oh no the scary unkillable monster is coming after us and he's gonna kill us in overly violent ways" 💩

Hereditary: I don't even give a shit it looks trite EDIT maybe it's okay but I don't give enough of a shit to bother to ~give it a chance~ because hey. that's what fucking horror games are for.

Insidious: boring, not scary, 0/10

Get Out: haven't watched yet but will because it's a cinematic masterpiece that defies genre conventions

Bird Box: IM SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING ABOUT FUCKING BIRD BOX SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT BIRD BOX HOLY SHIT. It's just the goddamn happening by shyamagofuckyourself and it's an excuse to profit off of sensationalist suicide. oohh so spooky. eat my ass, boggart

It: too much bad cgi makes it a comedy. plus a bunch of kids say fuck a lot. good movie that's technically horror I guess but is it scary? nah.

Suspiria: I've never heard of this movie

Annihilation: same

Split: M NIGHT SHYAMALAN IS A SHITTY FILMMAKER and also it's ableist as fuck so

Mandy: google you suck none of these movies have any mainstream appeal

The Conjuring: 💩💩💩

Hush: ??? you know what fuck it I'm skipping the ones that don't matter

The Vvitch: 🙄 my mom's a witch, my best friend's a witch, I'm a witch. hey yeah maybe let's not buy into christian colonialism please? scary witches are boring as shit. gimme something actually scary. like Catholics.

The Nun: wait shit not like that! and by that I mean BORING AS HELL aside from the jumpscares. which are shit

The Babadook: clearly an LGBT movie, not horror

Cabin in the Woods: a parody and an excellent one at that. at least the gore is in homage, or hilariously over the top

Sinister: the fucking epitome of shitty jumpscares and shock value and lack of atmosphere and bad acting and bad plot and jesus fucking christ this is one of the worst and most boring movies I've ever had the misfortune to see DONT WASTE YOUR GODDAMN TIME

Saw: it's actually a thriller with Cary Elwes, Danny Glover, Michael Emerson, and Tobin Bell. it's a campy cheesy low budget true to form horror film with adequate writing, good acting, AMAZING MUSIC BY CHARLIE CLOSER, and isn't over the top with gore considering it's all practical effects. top fucking notch but spawned a dozen terrible sequels.

Shaun of the Dead: it's a touching and heartfelt romantic comedy... with zombies, EXCELLENT CINEMATOGRAPHY, excellent acting, and sad parts that will rip your fucking heart out, stomp on it, and grind it to dust. literally one of the best movies ever made of all time, eat shit tarantino.

The Ring: eh, the original Japanese was better (Japanese horror is its own genre and not a part of this criticism, I actually really like original Japanese horror unfucked up by american audiences as long as it doesn't just gratuitously glorify suicide as Japan does), but this was still a really good mystery thriller with some really cool effects, and is the only movie that has ever actually scared me for real. even now I hate that there's a tv with a vcr right at the foot of my bed.

The Sixth Sense: shyamalan made a couple of good movies. this was one of them. but it wasn't a horror movie and if you didn't know the twist IT WAS A FUCKING AMAZING ONE. like, goddamn empire strikes back levels of supreme and god tier plot twists. it went a little overboard on shock value but compared to the rest of the COMPLETE BULLSHIT on this list (AND IN HIS OWN MOVIES) it really could've gone way further.

The Descent: goddamn claustrophobia. too much horribly cgi'd gore and terrible decisions to be truly enjoyable though. would've been a much better movie without the mutants and the middle finger to physics throat stabbing and the JUST FUCKING KICK IT YOU GODDAMN IDIOT and oh yeah the subtle misogyny. the first half was good tho

28 days later: shitty remake of a merely ok movie EDIT I was thinking of 28 weeks later, 28 days was actually okay I guess

Scream: did not age well but it's okay for being meta, despite the fucking torture porn of drew barrymore at the beginning. allowed for scary movie 1 though, so I'm glad it exists.

Paranormal Activity: PARANORMAL FUCKING ACTIVITY CAN EAT MY ASS, ITS SUCH A SUBLIME FAILURE OF EXECUTION. I WANTED IT TO BE GOOD BUT IT WASNT. oh well at least it inspired five nights at Freddy's. I'll go ahead and throw all shitty found footage movies under this one, including unfriended.

Blair Witch Project: a fucking pioneer of its time. a genre definer. truly scary. good movie. I'll go ahead and throw all good found footage movies under this one, including cloverfield.

The Shining: a thriller, not horror. but goddamn is it the scariest not horror movie ever made. Stephen king you magnificent bastard

Alien: goddamn fucking alien. science fiction masterpiece. director's a little creepy but eh, sigourney weaver kicks ass, and alien isolation is such a good game (despite its many flaws), and it's just so iconic in terms of sheer scope of concept. it's the same horror movie as anywhere else but in space, and I still can't fucking believe this was made in the 70s. this and Star Wars were FUCKING AMAZING, and the xenomorph? THATS ALL PRACTICAL EFFECTS BABEY. NO OVERRELIANCE ON CGI GUTS AND SHOCK VALUE HERE, ITS JUST PURE HORROR AT ITS FINEST. good movie. aliens was better. everything else... eeehhh...

The Thing: same as the descent but with men instead of women, and EVEN WORSE DECISION MAKING. IT IS UNBELIEVABLE JUST HOW GODDAMN STUPID EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM COULD POSSIBLY BE. and in the remake yeah the practical effects were mind blowingly fantastic and inspired dead space which I believe is one of the best horror games if not just best games or horror pieces of media if not just best pieces of media constructed. but the prequel? 🙄 no thanks

The exorcist: masterpiece of practical effects without an overreliance on jumpscares and gore

Jaws: it's Stephen fucking Spielberg in the 70s and one of the most influential horror films and just films in general

Hellraiser: okay I'll give all works by clive barker a pass here because goddamn is he a demented fucking genius if ever I saw one. if only Jericho was actually a good game, it could've been the next doom 3

Poltergeist: an actually good horror movie that depends on atmosphere and effects more so than jumpscares and gore? SIGN ME THE FUCK UP

Evil Dead: campy but misogynist. the sequel was a comedy so it's okay. the next sequel is also a comedy AND ARMY OF DARKNESS IS ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER FUCKING MADE. FIGHT ME. and fuck the remake. sam raimi should've retired after spiderman 3. maybe even before that.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: honestly not bad. it was actually freaky and believable. rednecks really are fucking scary with all their inbreeding and terrible music and hatred of black people. I refuse to acknowledge the original and the sequels.

Psycho: eh, hitchcock's worst is still better than most of the shit on this list.

The Wicker Man: OH GOD NOT THE BEES! AHHGUBLAHH MY EYES! AAAAAHHHHH!!! fucking excellent comedy. but it doesn't have any naked ladies in it like the original did. oh well, can't please everyone.

Night of the Living Dead: THOSE ZOMBIES ARE BULLSHIT. ZOMBIES CANT USE WEAPONS AND THEY SURE AS FUCK CANT TURN YOU INTO A ZOMBIE BY STABBING YOU WITH A TROWEL. THEY HAVE TO BITE YOU. FUCK YOU GEORGE ROMERO. Also, dawn of the dead was just sensationalist garbage. "They tore apart a real pig carcass tho so it looked like real intestines" what? the fuck??? who gives a shit????? I watch movies to escape from reality, dumbass. I don't beat off to chopped up human carcasses. If I want a zombie movie I want the walking dead sans the soap opera bullshit and the racism and then "no one is safe and everyone will die" boring mentality propagated by twd and got and other things I used to like but no longer care about (because why should I give a shit about it if everyone could die? I can already be sad enough about all the real people I know who die. enjoying the pain of the deaths of those important to us is a privilege the cishets have). the walking dead seasons 1&2 was pure horror and the very best kind. don't give me boring contrivances. "but sheena, night of the living dead was a trope definer! everything in it was original!" yeah, you know what else is original? *farting noise* George Romero is just rob zombie without a rock band. his best work was fucking call of duty. that's pathetic. "maybe you just don't like gore" HEY YEAH SURE I DONT WANNA SEE UBER REALISTIC INTESTINES AND ORGANS IF THEY ARENT PART OF A MEDICAL DEAL SO IM JUST A BIG DUMB HATER. I'm the one in the wrong. fuck me, right?

Don't Breathe: A FUCKING TURKEY BASTER FILLED WITH SEMEN. THATS SO STUPID I FORGOT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY. BEST CRINGE COMEDY OF THE YEAR :D

Tremors: legitimately great movie with a hundred shitty sequels. like saw but your faves win so you walk away filled with determination rather than sad and disappointed. enjoyment of tragedies are a privilege awarded to those who are neurotypical.

Zombieland: gore done right. the only casualty is mindless zomzoms and bill murray. good. granted it counts as a romance and a comedy but honestly last time I watched it I cried at the part where you find out buck isn't tallahassee's dog. god I love that movie. AND FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS IS THE MOST BADASS MOVIE OPENER EVER.

The Fly: Jeff fucking goldblum. amazing effects for good reasons. need I say more? the original doesn't exist because 1950s horror movies are all bad because all 1950s movies are bad. the 1950s should just be purged from america's records except for pleasantville.

All other Stephen king movies: hit or miss but mostly still good. although very few are actual horror.

10 cloverfield lane: more of a thriller like above's misery but still an amazing movie.

Peeping Tom: literally a movie about how creepy it is to fetishize the deaths of women WHILE LITERALLY FETISHIZING THE DEATHS OF WOMEN. like, come on man. how do you miss your own point so completely?

Invasion of the body snatchers: it's not horror and if it's made to be horror using gore it's shit. the whole thing is just an allegory to the joe mccarthy communism witch hunts anyway.

Cube trilogy: the ultimate b movies. so bad they're good. and it's such an interesting concept too!

Killer Klowns from Outer Space: fucking alien clowns come to earth to turn us into cotton candy by killing us using carnival fare. THIS IS THE GREATEST BAD MOVIE EVER MADE.

All horror movies based on horror video games: either irredeemably bad, or action movies

All creepy Netflix horror movies: wow any idiot with a camera and basic cgi skills can throw shit together to make a movie these days, huh

The Slender Man: I am literally too pissed off about this movie to insult it.

Marble Hornets, Tribe Twelve, the Slender Man movie on YouTube: triumphs of meta, editing, found footage, proof of concept, and story. Slenderman is such a malleable entity for a perfect horror experience, HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY FUCK THAT UP? YOUD HAVE TO BE INTENTIONALLY SABOTAGING YOUR WHOLE MOVIE TO FUCK IT UP AS BAD AS SOMEone who exclusively directs remakes... oh... oh no.

Wrong Turn: one mediocre movie and a dozen loathesome snoozefests coasting by on shock value

Troll 2:

oh god

they're eating her

and then

they're gonna eat me

...

oh my gooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

(Troll 2 is literally the worst movie ever made and I have to respect it for that at least)

but yeah, horror is just bad for movies. but for video games, though...

[lilacsolanum]

am I correct that you once mentioned being able to talk forever about the breakdown of Animorphs team dynamics at the end of the war? please... if so... i'd love to hear your thoughts...

YES, YOU ARE VERY CORRECT. HERE WE GO.

Cassie and Ax are the only ones whose books straight up lay down the law on this. The Sacrifice has Ax straight up talking shit about, like, everyone but Marco. Marco he’s cool with, because Marco’s clear headed and not worried about getting his hands dirty. Marco’s like “Man, drop a nuclear bomb if you GOTTA, like I don’t LOVE the idea but what’s an intergalactic war without a ‘lil nuke here and there? Makes it EXCITING.” But he starts getting disenfranchised with Jake - “I wished now not for Jake, but for an Andalite commander. An experienced soldier. Someone who better understood when to fight and when to watch.” He is OVER how Rachel is terrifyingly violent and should have been removed from fighting a while ago (the scene where Ax chooses to forgive and free a Yeerk-moprhed-bird who is just trying to become a nothlit — only for Rachel to thoughtlessly murder the Yeerk on a rampage — is one of the most chilling moments in Animorphs. I gasped and had the set the book down when I first read it, and I first read it as an adult.) While He even straight up calls Tobias out on getting trapped in morph on purpose - “He stayed in red-tailed hawk morph for longer than two hours. I suspect he did it on purpose.  It was his way of escaping the complexities of human life. Although he exchanged them for a new set of complexities.” When he finds out Cassie gave away the morphing technology, he says “I could not stop looking at Cassie. I was not exactly sure what I was feeling. But I was sure it was very close to hatred.” Later he says “Perhaps the real menace lay at the other end of the continuum - represented by Cassie. Humans who were softer. Kinder. Well-meaning. And, ironically, infinitely more dangerous.” He eventually does forgive Cassie and start to understand her choice, but it takes him a MOMENT. Ax is TIRED in this book. The Sacrifice is just Ax talking shit about everyone, it’s amazing. “My hatred for Cassie began to extend to them all. They were fools. They would never prevail. They were too soft. Too sentimental. Too childish. Too stupid and ignorant.” - Aximili in The Sacrifice, pouring out some tea.

Ax ends up in this really sad place at the end of the war where he’s resigned to dying on Earth, to dying with his human friends, and he sees honor in that but he does not want it. Ax is easily the least developed characters in the series, especially once he’s given to the ghostwriters. He’s either The Funny Alien Bro or he’s the writer’s voice of political commentary. VERY RARELY is he treated with respect. Because of this inconsistency, it’s hard to say what Ax does immediately after the war. Does he just peace out to Andalite immediately? Does he take time to decide what he truly wants? Does he decide he truly wants to stay on Earth with humans but goes back to Andalite out of duty? Does he reach out to Tobias? Does he quietly accept Tobias’s decision to isolate himself and feel secretly relieved that he no longer has to care for this neurotic bird? Does he feel guilty about being secretly relieved? Does he not care he’s relieved? There are a ton of ways to interpret Ax and view his post war decisions. The only thing we know from The Sacrifice is that he’s pretty fucking DONE.

-

Cassie talks a ton of shit, too. (”The truth was, and it hurt me to admit it, Jake just wasn’t Jake anymore.” - The Ultimate. “Rachel’s voice, on the other hand, was firm and unhesitating. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m thinking it’s time to explode a big ‘ole bomb.” “And you couldn’t be happier,” Cassie said bitterly to Rachel. “Could you?”” - The Sacrifice.) Cassie always has sweetly-snide things to say about everyone in her narration (homegurl is always like “Marco is funny, but only to cover up his own fear.” “Yeah Tobias DEFINITELY trapped himself in morph.” “Rachel is a mess.” Cassie is a southern church lady and a master at shade and I love her.)

Cassie and Ax are basically just. Done with everyone. Cassie has already realized all her friends are way too war-touched to ever be healthy, and knows, on some level, that she’ll retain enough stability be able to elevate herself past the PTSD. In her last book, she makes this sad, desperate last chance grab at retaining what was left of Jake’s humanity. After that, we don’t see many people really connecting with Cassie and honestly, it’s not because she gave away the morphing cube. It’s because the Animorphs agree to blow up the Yeerk pool. I think that is a defining point for Cassie, the equivalent of Jake losing his parents. Her fate is sealed when she is forced to participate in destroying the Pool. She doesn’t like herself and she doesn’t like these people. She completely gives up on Jake and knows they have no future, which you see plainly in her reaction to Jake’s proposal (I don’t know what I expected her answer to be, but I didn’t expect her to start crying. And not tears of joy, either. “I would like that … eventually,” she said. “ But. But what?” She sighed. “But, Jake, what are you going to be? What are you going to do?” “Guess I thought I’d go to college,” I said. “And study what, Jake? Me, I’ll go to college, I’ll become a doctor. never forget what’s happened, I’ll never even try, but I’ll be able to slip back into a normal life. But you, Jake?” ) She is straight up aggressive toward Rachel in The Ultimate (”“Why do you have to be so horrible?” Cassie exploded. “You are, you know. And you get worse every day. Your own mother can’t even stand you.””) Cassie is maybe not consciously aware that she is the only one who will truly survive the war, but she knows SOMETHING, and she starts to distances herself and gives up on her friends at the end of the war. It’s another one of Cassie’s bright clear lines.

-

Marco doesn’t really comment on things falling apart, but I also don’t think Marco approaches exactly HOW falling apart things have become in the same honest way Cassie and Ax do. Listen: homeboy has abandoment issues. Which I guess is extrapolation, as I can’t really think of any example where he’s directly like “Everyone Leaves Me Eventually Fuck ‘Em And Their Little Dog Too”, but the text DOES tell us 1. Marco’s mom died when he was 11, which is a very big thing to happen to a very tiny child; 2. His dad mentally checked out immediately after and 3. After the war, Marco awkwardly tries to keep the band together. He admits to spying on Jake in his free time in The Beginning, AND I MEAN. “Marco lived half a mile from me, in a house about seven times bigger than mine. We’d started hanging out again. And after awhile he’d given up arranging dates for me with whatever starlet happened to be willing.” (Jake, The Beginning). Some of that is Jake giving back to Marco, but one can ONLY ASSUME from Marco’s weird spying that Marco pulled every drop of Jake’s friendship out by sheer force of will. He also apparently invites Cassie AND HER BOYFRIEND to his Hollywood parties (I spoke to Cassie every couple of months. She was seeing some guy … actually, a good guy. I had met him at one of Marco’s parties.) and is in general all up in her shit. He does this crazy detailed run down of every step Cassie has made post-war in Chapter 10 of The Beginning. Like bro why do you even know Wal-mart tried to get Cassie to sign a deal with them? Because you’re not as cool as you think, and you miss the fuck out of the Animorphs. His defining character trait is also “Cares about no one unless he adopts you as as family, in which case he will walk right into hell and personally bitch slap satan to ensure your safety.” I honestly don’t think it OCCURS to him that they won’t all be friends after the war. He comments a bit on people falling apart, but I swear he thinks they’re all going to fall apart together. Marco is arguably in a better position when the war ends than when it started. He brings his mother back from the dead, his dad is functioning, he is rich and famous, everything is great (save for the inevitable trauma of his parents and the existence of Nora and the fact he deliberately put her in harm and all the other terrible realizations we’ve all had about that family). But I can’t help but feel that his abandonment issues are part of what lead him to The Rachel. He sacrifices a pretty bomb life to go on a suicide mission without question, because Marco doesn’t have much family, and he adopted the Animorphs as a family, and now the only way to get that family back for even a moment is to go on The Rachel.

Basically, at the end of the war, Marco is something close to happy and hopeful. The last book he narrates is a fucking romp with tanks and ducks and bondage jokes (”” ICONIC). He’s focused on his parents, and he’s not really seeing the looming aftermath of war.

-

Tobias is sort of in the same situation. He’s dealing with a lot. He’s got a Loren now, and he’s awkwardly morphing human for her. He has been disenfranchised with Jake ever since Jake manipulated him into volunteering himself for torture. He’s kicking it with Marco and Ax and they have this sort of unofficial club going on, but he never mentions particularly connecting with Marco on the same level he does Rachel or Ax or even Cassie. Which, don’t get me wrong, I am 100% a huge believer in Team Finesse as disgruntled roommates who care for each other deep down, but it’s ultimately not enough of a connection to keep him around after Rachel’s death. That’s the thing with Tobias. He was always sort of detached from everyone but Rachel and Ax, and Ax was somewhat circumstantial. We all love the shorms, shorms are real, but there’s definitely a reading where the two of them bonded because they had to. I also definitely think Tobias never truly believed in Ax’s love for him. That’s the thing with Tobias, he can joke and he can bond and he has a nice time with the other Animorphs but he doesn’t believe in a universe where they hang out without the Yeerks, ya feel? He can go on a tank joy ride with Marco, but underneath it he’s thinking “This hilarious class clown wouldn’t give me the time of day if it wasn’t for Elfangor.” He can listen to Ax call him shorm, but ultimately he’s going to feel “Ax is only here because he has no other option, we wouldn’t be friends otherwise.” That’s why as soon as Rachel dies, Tobias is out. When Cassie says, “He doesn’t hate you, Jake. He never did. His heart was broken, that’s all. And you know, Tobias never had anyone. No one before Rachel. No mother, really, no father he could ever know. Rachel was the first and only person who ever loved Tobias.” (The Beginning), I think she’s speaking from Tobias’s POV, because she knows of all people that Tobias was loved and loved fiercely by many. It’s just that when Rachel said it, he actually believed her. (This is a line I’ve been sitting on for a minute and will use in a fic, so anyone who reads it again later, act surprised okay?)

-

And Jake and Rachel have isolating incidents that are pretty clear on the page. Rachel’s descent into extreme violence addiction isn’t super well done, but these ARE children’s books. As dark as these books are, there’s something so incredibly disturbing about watching a child find joy in a shower of blood that it’s not really well touched upon. All we know is that she’s out of control, to the point where when confronted by an armed but currently peaceful group of soldiers, she ignores orders from Ax and attempts to ram through the human shield by physically stomping on her mother’s foot and forcing the gas pedal. No one wants to hang out with Rachel by this point, not even her family, not even Cassie. Well, we can assume Tobias is still kicking it with her, but we never get a scene of them together which is a SHAME. And Jake is, you know. I’ve rambled enough, but anyone who has read the series knows that Jake withdraws from his friends when he loses his parents in The Diversion. Marco and Tobias are too preoccupied to help, Cassie tries to the point where she hands their only leverage over to the enemy but eventually gives up on EVERYONE, and Ax is too exhausted to care. I don’t think it would have mattered much if Jake had gotten a ton of support though. He’d given up by then.

ANYWAY you asked for my feelings on the kids drifting away from each other and I gave you 2K because I am extra.

[religious-pizza-roll]

Baby, bright, buttercup, calm, cuddly, dear, dovey, fluffy, giggles, heart, honey, love, moonlight, precious, shine, smoochies, sparkle, starlight, sunshine, velvet, wiggly

Baby: Favorite color?

A pastel/faded yellow or rusted orange :)

Bright: mermaids or fairies?

Fairies for multiple reasons. Being underwater scares me because I never learned how to swim, so mermaids are amazing, but terrifying at the same time. Also, fairies can do magic and I have had dreams of me as a fairy before, so...

Buttercup: Showers or baths?

I wish I could take baths, but I share a bathroom with my siblings and do not trust them enough to take baths, so showers.

Calm: Favorite scent?

Oh boy, probably lavender or the smell of books/new parchment. Bonfires are up there too.

Cuddly: What’s your favorite time period?

THE 60′S-70′. SO MUCH HAPPENED IN THE 60′S AND 70′S. WHAT AN ICONIC TIME PERIOD. I COULD SO LIVE IN THE 60′S OR 70′S. HIPPIES. FEMINISM KICKS, MLK, DAVID BOWIE (AKA MY DREAM PERSON) STARTED OUT IN THE 70′S, WOODSTOCK, JANIS JOPLIN, TV WAS AMAZING THEN, AND SO MUCH MORE. UGH. I THINK I BELONG IN THAT PERIOD.

Dear: Zodiac Sign?

I am a Gemini! The most hated sign sadly.

Dovey: Any paranormal/magical experiences?

Not any I can think of off of the top of my head, but I am fascinated by the supernatural and want to know like everything about it.

Fluffy: Ocean or mountain?

Like I said earlier, I am afraid of being underwater, which makes an ocean 1000% scarier than normal, so definitely mountains, even though if I climbed on I would probably die of an asthma attack lmao.

Giggles: What is your aesthetic of choice?

I like to think that I am like a hipster aesthetic, but like mixed with emo. OR A FALL AESTHETIC FUCK YES. AN AUTUMN LOVING EMO WOW.

Heart: Silk or lace?

Oh, I don’t know! I like both a lot, but probably lace.

Honey: Coffee or tea? How do you take it?

Why not both!! I take my coffee with flavored creamer usually the hazelnut flavored one and I take my tea hot or iced with honey :)

Love: What is your favorite season and why?

Oh my god, how much time do you have? I am OBSESSED with autumn/fall. It is very obviously the best season. Not only is it cool enough for SWEATERS and boots again, but Halloween and people go on the cute apple orchard/pumpkin patch dates, there are haunted houses, you can wear scarves, horror movies, baking is big again, HALLOWEEN(I need help picking a costume so I can order it), the color orange is big again, Thanksgiving, it's getting dark faster meaning it is cooler, blankets all the time, HOT TEA AND HOT COCOA, bonfires, the leaves are falling and are beautiful, HOCUS POCUS AND HALLOWEENTOWN, school comes back and I love learning with all of my heart, corn mazes!!!!, family is everything, everything is beautiful and colors are changing, and it’s the time of year I actually feel like myself.

Moonlight: Do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

I love them all honestly. Pastels and neutrals more than darks though. They can all look good if done right.

Precious: What is something valuable that you learned in your life?

Some people are just chapters in your life and not everyone will stay forever. I really thought I met the person I would be with forever in high school in a best friend and a boyfriend and they both left me for something better. My boyfriend cared more about the robotics club than he did me. I told him that I was offended and he told me that he knew we weren’t a forever thing, so he didn’t care. I broke up with him over text while he was at a robotics club meeting and I was crying on my couch. My best friend I thought would be around forever thought I wasn’t good enough for her Japanese lifestyle she was starting and when she went to study in Japan, she completely stopped talking to me and caring about my wellbeing even though I was trying way too damn hard to keep in contact with her. I cried over her way too many times and she didn’t deserve the tears, I realized how toxic she really was after she left.

Shine: Art or music?

Music is art, so art. There are so many different kinds of art and I love that I get to see it every day. Latte art, music, poetry, paintings, sculptures, you name it. I wish I could do some form of art.

Smoochies: How many pillows do you sleep with?

Two under my head and two to block out the sun from my window.

Sparkle: Do you wear jewelry?

I wear earrings every day because I have my ears double pierced and I wear a rainbow bracelet I got at Ragstock. I also wear a necklace sometimes, but not often. Once I lose some chin/neck weight, I want to wear chokers again.

Starlight: What was your favorite show as a child?

My favorite show probably was Teen Titans or Boy Meets World.

Sunshine: Do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

It depends on what it is honestly. Most of the time I like practical, but aesthetically pleasing is pretty important to me sometimes.

Velvet: Are you an early bird or a night owl?

I am definitely a night owl who is trying to become an early bird.

Wiggly: Are you a messy or tidy person?

A little bit of both.

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

real talk: movie reviews

Your review/opinion of a movie is complete worthless shit if you dont base it off its intent and needlessly compare it to other things.

a comedy is suppose to be funny, a drama is suppose to be dramatic. If you were to talk about how Jaws wasnt funny enough and gave your kids nightmares cus it was to scary, as a criticism of a movie your review would be stupid, yes?

You have to go into a story, a movie or a series with sincerity. If you are going in thinking “i hope this isnt as bad as i think its going to be” or w/e then you are going in with prejudice. Its not the producers or actors or writers fault if you dont WANT to enjoy the movie, its YOUR fault.

“it had bad acting” ...well....no probably not. You probably mean the Acting was to campy, or the acting wasnt realistic enough, or the acting didnt convey what i think was meant to be conveyed. There are multiple forms of acting. If you want every great historically awesome groundbreaking movie that was filmed in the 20th century they ALL have horrible acting. Except they arent. Thats what acting was like back then. I am not a fan of older movies because they are heavily dialogue based. They focus on monologues and banter and i find the whole thing very boring. But i’m not an fucking idiot, and so i recognize that its a Different Style and dont go around bad mouthing it.

“its plot was obvious”...well was it suppose to be? I mean people say there are no orginal stories. it doesnt matter WHAT happens but Why. the devil is in the details. I mean if you told me that Dumbledor dies that ...wouldnt be a problem because I dont know WHY he dies, HOW he dies, WHO kills him , WHEn he dies and all the information surrounding that event. Like if the movie is a Jurassic film you know its going to go wrong...thats a given. you might as well insult a horror movie for being scary. Thats just....like...reality. Movies about a lack of conflict arent entertaining. You need conflict. So the movie is about when things go wrong. In order for this to be a valid criticism you’d have to explain why the simple plot is a bad thing

“the villains were obvious”...most villains are. Like we literally have one in the white house right now. If your point is that people would stop obviously villainous people right away you’d be wrong. if your point is people would have a problem working with villains you’d be wrong. We literally have businessmen in real life saying that poor people deserve to die, so how does a fictional villain saying that he’s going to sell a dinosaur to some mafia guys like any different?

“dexu ex machina” first of all i dont think that word means what you think it means. its a reference to the machine of the gods, meaning the moments in plays when the plot could not be resolved so they had the gods come in and fix everything.  It does NOT mean “the heroes got spared because an event out of their control changed the situation”. heck thats often how the conflict starts in the first place.

and again one has to consider the GENRE and intent of the movie.

Like i love all the Jurassic movies...because they are good and fun. Thats just how they are. They have philisophical debates, they have intercharacter conflict (romance or divorces) that leads to cute banter. They have things going horribly out of control. they have contrived coincedences that are fun or funny.

They have heroes barely escaping horrible situations through nothing but luck. Like thats whats fun about it! If you dont like it thats fine but to Insult something just cus you dont like it is idiotic and shows how unprofessional you are.

I HATE coffee but i dont insult it or people who like it

Like in preparation for the next movie i watched jurassic world again and was reminded of all the fun i had.

The horrific Irony of corporate scientiests saying things like “it ate its sister” and that look where you can see they are desperately trying to ignore that big warning sign cus they are trying to be optimistic.

the shot with the dinosaur foot thats actuallly a raven’s foot that plays with audiences expectations of a dramatic scene change of violence “oh  but its actually something harmless” that is common in these movies (they’ve had one for ever movie) while also lampshading the fact that birds are related to dinosaurs. Thats some top notch movieing

the silly divorce plotline that brought humanity to the cast, that kinda showed that the people who end up in horrible situations are people just trying to deal with their things. Not to mention how its almost always tied to the plot? Like how in Jurassic 3 them trying to save their child helped the mother and father heal their relationship, How the brothers attempts to overcome his shittyness because his brother is worried about the divorce leads him to do something dangerous that almost gets them killed

The silly situations and black comedy like in Jurassic 2 where the guy gets eaten in front of hte blockbuster and you hear his comedic “Ug, uuuggk” like the  slowly dying version of the Wilhelm scream. In jurassic world  you had the cute comedy of the frustrated Tourguide person “guys i just work here” and the pteredon stopping right before it would have impaled one of the heroes. The indominous being indignant at the weird things screaming at it so it screams at them back because she’s a petulant child.

And like people give it to much shit and it usually means the critic is being an idiot about it. Like it wasnt Clair it was Masrani who wanted  send in the soldiers with non lethals. Ppl want to talk about the light measures they took but the whole problem wasnt caused by the park but by a rogue scientist creating military grade upgrades without the company knowing about it. Ppl want to talk about how unrealistic the dinosaurs are but they arent dinosaurs? its even discussed within the movie that they are hybrid abominations made to look like what people think dinosaurs are.

and that moment where the nerd guy tries to like ...be all heroic “someone has to stay” to impress his girl coworker to only find out that she’s not that impressed, has a boyfriend and that he’s projecting this romance on their relationship where there is none and gets shot down, is like the single greatest moment in cinematic history, i loved it!

(though Claire utilizing her unique position as the person in charge to risk her   life to use the parks oldest and most iconic asset in order to kill the indominous is a close second).

Like...we get it. You are pretentious and mean and get off on telling other people how things are terrible..

but if you dont mind we are going to be over here having fun? and we are going to keep getting Fun quirky movies about unrealistic dinosaurs and contrived coincedences and campy villians and shitty love stories that take place in the background and these type of movies are going to exist forever because they are FUN

And if you dont like it, die mad about it

[billyharris]

Underneath the Same Sun ☼

Okay so this fic is inspired by the amazing headcanons @t0ziers​ wrote. And encouraged by a comment on said post by @richietoaster. Honestly I fell in love with the idea of a long distance Reddie AU and knew I had to write it. But I wanted to write it from Richie’s point of view. And some other facts are different. whoops.  Also huge shoutout to my name twin, @buttercup-irwin for inspiring me in general to write fics. This is my first official one. Here goes nothing ~

✧ Chapter One ✧ Chapter Two ✧ Chapter Three

Words ;; 1,824 ･ﾟ Pairing ;; Richie Tozier / Eddie Kaspbrak  & some hints of Stan Uris / Bill Denbrough (It)  ･ﾟ  Warnings ;; Strong language, Talk of penises, 18 y/o boys kissing (omg)  ･ﾟ

❝ — Richie Tozier knew he wasn’t internet famous. In the grand scheme of things, his shitty meme blog and dead vine account were nothing compared to all the models on Instagram paid to post pictures of their abs. But damn, 4,000 followers and some change was nothing to sneeze at in Tumblr terms. And he did it all without posting porn. His best friend, Stan, might not understand just how big of a deal that it is, but his followers knew he was top tier. If you weren’t following ‘trxshmouth’ - you were causing yourself a disservice.

Out of all those 4,000 followers Richie had, he almost never spoke to any of them. He had mutuals that would sometimes tag him in their posts or follow forevers. But no one really, honestly knew the man behind the memes. That was until ‘pastelgazebo’ followed him. 

As soon as the notification on his phone popped up, Richie had to stop what he was doing and open the link. The boy literally stopped walking to quickly scroll through the soft pink aesthetic filled page, his mouth plastered with a wide grin the whole time.

“Earth to Richie…We’re going to be late to class…RICHIE?!” Stan was rolling his eyes now - a usual occurrence when your best friend is Richie - vape naesh - tozier. Stan waved his hand in front of Richie, but the boy just kept typing on his phone, not looking up for a second.

“Celebrity stuff, Stanley, you wouldn’t understand.” Richie finally lifted his head taking the time to push in his pop socket of the dancing snapchat hotdog and shove the phone into his back pocket, before beginning to walk again.

“You’re not famous, Richie. I have a blog - So does Bill. We all do. You’re no different.”

“Wow okay - your blog is all pictures of birds. Literally no one cares about birds except for you. You can’t possibly compare my blogging experience to just you sitting on your bed looking at pictures on the internet. It’s not even on the same level and fairly i’m concerned that you would ever think you compare to me.” A ding goes off in Rich’s pocket, and the boy slapped his ass before pulling the phone from it and transfixing his gaze on the screen once again.

“You forget, Richard. I’m the one with boyfriend now, and you are the one stuck having to look at pictures on the - Are you even listening to me insulting you ?? No you’re not - Of course” And the eye rolls were back.

“Haha yeah - you and Bill make out all the time and all I do is watch porn - ha ha very funny Stan the man - but not for fucking long !! ‘Cause this trashmouth might’ve just found the love of his life !!” Richie was talking like a schoolgirl raving about JTT. He was making no sense at all. And then he was shoving his phone into Stan’s face.

The blog was ‘Pastelgazebo’ An organized studyblr with the description written in bright pink font. ‘Eddie ✧ 18 ✧ pre-med at NYU ✧ Bev made me do this.’ The icon was not of the boy’s face. Instead of a bunch of lilacs scattered around a cup of tea. The most recent post was a public answer from none other than trashmouth himself. In all caps the question read ‘SO DO YOU LIKE MEMES?’ with a simple ‘uh yeah’ answer from the other blog. “Wow yeah - you two are a real modern day Romeo and Juliet” Now Stan was sure he should start charging his roommate for all these eye rolls.

❝ — It’s been two months since Richie and Eddie became mutuals. Sixty days since the boys began to talk every day through tumblr messenger. Giving Stan the Man a run for his money when it came to Richie’s coveted best friend slot. A spot that Stan has said many times he did not sign up for and would very much appreciate someone taking. He was everything Richie wasn’t. Clean, organized, short. But he was sassy and not afraid to call Richie out on his shit. Richard Tozier was in love. It was real. He wanted to marry this kid. It was really fucking unfair that all Richie could do was text Eddie when Stan was across the dorm just first basing his boyfriend right in front of his glass covered eyes. Rubbing salt into the hormone filled wound of Richie’s.

↪ trxshmouth - They’re doing it again 

↪ pastelgazebo - Leave your roommate alone. He’s allowed to kiss his boyfriend if he wants to. 

↪ pastelgazebo - Shouldn’t you be studying ?? I know I am.

↪ trxshmouth - The least they could do is invite me to join. It’s only fair after being forced to listen to Bill stutter his way through dirty talk

↪ pastelgazebo - BEEP BEEP RICHIE!

↪ trxshmouth - I regret telling you about that every fucking day

❝ — Three months now. Three whole months of friendship all built on an ask about memes. Richie now knew that Eddie accidentally followed Richie instead of exiting his blog. And although it sort of hurt - he couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that only Eddie Kaspbrak would meet his best friend by accident. 

Richie was officially calling Eddie his best friend now. Stan lost that privilege when Rich had to wake up to a nearly naked Bill trying to sneak out of his dorm at five in the morning. Honestly the audacity !! Like, really ?! The Uris/Tozier residence was a place of fucking high class. He gave the culprit the stink eye to let him know that he saw everything. ( and damn he meant everything - those boxer briefs were not leaving anything to the imagination. No wonder Stan is keeping him still. ) All Billy could do was giggle as he pulled up his jeans and darted for the door. From then on Richie only referred to his roommate’s boyfriend as ‘Big Bill’ and Stan knew right away where the name came from and  - oh boy, he was not happy about everyone knowing about his private life. He didn’t seem to care about privacy before ; when he was letting his boyfriend walk around their dorm dong practically out.

So now Eddie was Richie’s official best friend. But Richie was lying to himself if he didn’t admit that he wanted so much more from the east coast boy. The two had finally exchanged Skypes and tonight was going to be the first time Richie would be able to hear Eddie’s voice - see Eddie’s face that wasn’t in a blurry snapchat with a filter. The trashmouth was actually freaking out. The whole day he was shaking and his ADHD was off the charts. He’s wanted this for three fucking months. And it’s finally here. The skype ring blared through the UCLA dorm and Rich was sure it sounded like the wedding march for a second. He answered the call and had to hold back from gasping. “Wow Eds, you’re really cute.”

The boy was in a pale yellow polo, cross legged on his dorm bed. His cheeks flared as red as his short shorts. Oh did Richie not mention his short shorts ?? Because wow this boy was not afraid of showing some leg. “Thank you. You’re not too bad yourself - Oh and don’t call me that.” Richie couldn’t help but laugh at how easily embarrassed Eddie got. He deserved every compliment in the world.

They spoke for hours about classes and their lives before college. Turns out both were from different towns in Maine. They were so close before - and it took Richie moving all the way out to California for them to be driven together. It really was a small world. Eddie opened up about his mother and how she was driving him crazy now that he wasn’t living at home. Mrs K. makes Eddie get tested like every other week - making sure he wasn’t being slowly killed by the filth of New York. Richie shared that his parents haven’t called him since he moved out. And how when December break comes up, he was probably going to stay with Stan’s family in San Diego. Eddie had this destroyed look on his face when Richie talked about his home. He looked crushed on the other boy’s behalf. And all the freshman wanted to do was jump through the screen, hug Eddie and never let go.

❝ — Four fucking months had gone by since Richie made contact with the love of his life. They skype nearly every night. They know everything there is to know about one another. ( Okay. So Eddie didn’t know Richie smoked. But the boy was willing to cross that bridge when they got to it ) It didn’t matter that a whole country was separating them. When the two spoke - it was as if they were in each other’s laps. 

Except Eddie wasn’t sitting in Richie’s lap. He wasn’t running his thin fingers through the boy’s curls and telling him that there was no where else he would rather be than right there. All of that was in Richie’s dreams. He was too afraid to make a move and actually ask Eds out. Stan, Bill, Bev, even Eddie’s roommates Mike and Ben have started to get on the pair for how flirty they were.

Richie was doodling in his notebook as Eddie was telling a story about how his psych professor misspelled professor on the first day of the semester and now no one can take him seriously. Eddie’s voice was like music to Richie’s ears. It inspired him to be better. It made his crazy nerves calm for once. It was like nothing else existed when he spoke. The brunette looked up to his mac and couldn’t help himself but to mutter. “I really wish we could date.” A second went by before Richie heard what he had actually said out loud. He covered his mouth and turned bright red.

Eddie was matching in blush to the cross country boy. He chuckled for a moment and asked “Richie will you be my boyfriend?” And now Richie was covering his whole face because holy fuck, was this real ?? Did his actual dream boy really ask him out. And he said it so calmly. Richie thought he was going to be sick. He could feel his stomach churning.  Then it occurred to him that he actually hadn’t answered the boy yet. He’d been waiting for this day for four fucking months and for the first time ever - Richie trashmouth Tozier was speechless. His mind was racing and to stop himself from breaking down and crying there and then, he revealed his flushed face to the webcam, with the dumbest smirk on his features.

“Sure, Eds - but only if you answer this question - Do you like memes ??”

Note ;; This is like half of the headcanons. So let me know if I should write chapter two !

[thotyssey]

A veteran all-star of the burlesque stage and the DJ booth, we are about to see even more of “The Bouncing Bubble-butt Beefcake of Burlesque” Gogo Gadget as he and another burlesque bae prepare a new recurring showcase in the West Village.

Thotyssey: Hello Gogo! How was your Valentines Day?

Gogo Gadget: Beautifully busy, with a work in progress (that felt like more of a full production) with Third Rail Projects–my regular theater gig. We performed and launched the new concept at Town Stages in Tribeca.

Tell us more about Third Rail Projects.

Well, we have a perpetual project that we debuted in 2012 that had been intended to run for six weeks, but has now been running for about 8 years, called Then She Fell. It’s an immersive show based on the writings of Lewis Carroll.

Alice in Wonderland has been turning the children queer for centuries!

Have you always been involved in theater and stage production?

Yes. I got my double major in Performance and Production Theater from Rhode Island College–all so I could get my minor in Dance, which is where I focused my earlier career.

Are you a RI native?

I was. I lived there from 1984-1997.

And what was the music that was really inspiring and speaking to you from an early age?

My first three albums I saved up to buy for myself were: Gloria Estefan’s Cuts Both Ways, Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1918 and Tracy Chapman’s debut album (I’ve got a lesbian living deep in my soul).

Three classics! So how and when did you ultimately discover burlesque?

Eight years ago. I wanted to create a dance/theater piece around the subject of body cysmorphia, since it’s simmering I’ve struggled with, and I’ve been around others in the dance field who have also been affected by this.

I’d been invited by some co-workers to attend a show called “Meaner, Harder, Leather” [at the now-defunct Vig 27], and was fascinated by [burlequers] Stormy Leather and Chris Harder, as well as [drag queens] Misty Meaner and Mocha Lite. I didn’t realize that male-identified performers were also part of the burlesque landscape, and so I decided to attend the show pretty religiously for several months before Chris offered his first ever Boylesk 101 class. I signed up immediately to learn more about the culture and community. I never expected to perform beyond our “recital.”

Do all the kids out there get that “gogo gadget” was a catchphrase from the Inspector Gadget cartoon in the 80s?

It was! I chose it because Harder’s name at the time was an inspiration, and I used to work for Apple and continue to do side work in IT.

How have you noticed the world of burlesque has changed since you started?

I believe the artform is always in a brilliant state of flux, as new performers continue to enter the field, seasoned performers continue to innovate and reinvent their contributions, venues come and go as do shows and producers… it’s like an ecology all its own.

And… all time favorite gig or show memory?

Honestly, I truly miss “Meaner, Harder, Leather” and it’s crazy conflux of forms, audience and cast. It was such a crazy, lit up bonfire of performers and performances, with rich, sultry, determined personalities behind it. I can only hope that Jack and I can capture some of that excitement with our new show.

I’m sure you will! We’ll get to your new show with Jack Barrow in a moment, but first… you also DJ! How did that come about?

Believe it or not… at church, when I was in junior high. I went on to work at the music store throughout high school into college. In college, I became the Top 40 music director of the college radio station while also DJ’ing for the alternative rock department in the morning.

Are you cool with today’s Top 40?

I love Ariana, Lady Gaga, Katy, Rihanna… all the way to Orville Peck, Bjork, Mayer Hawthorne, Lizzo, Childish Gambino, Postmodern Jukebox, and  Patrick Wolf. and I will forever worship at the house of Madonna, amongst so many many others. I freaking love all genres! Music is the universal salve for existence.

Most frequently, you’re in Ditmas Park’s Sycamore Bar DJ booth for the monthly parties “Q Train” (first Thursdays, featuring guest drag performers) and “B Train” (third Thursdays with burlesque performers). When did you start spinning for those nights?

Q Train like 7 years ago, and B-train just over 2 years ago.

Two great parties!

What’s your favorite burlesque number to perform?

Right now, I’m so grateful when I can perform my Calling Birds act, which is primarily to Lady Gaga’s / Beyoncé’s “Telephone.” A close second is my sailor act to an old Annette Funicello song. I’m currently creating something new for a Westworld themed night. It’ll be hella country.

Can’t wait to see that! Okay, so your colleague Viktor Devonne and his White Elephant Burlesque have left their Rockbar residency and the East Coast altogether. This means that the Rock Solid Revue is now Rockbar’s twice-monthly resident burlesque show, starting this Wednesday! You and fellow sexyman Jack Barrow are running the show. Tell us more!

Well, we’re excited to build up something together. And we definitely agree that given the dimness of the current political and social climate, it’s valuable, important and somewhat essential to provide a place for us to generate genuine joy through artistic expression. We want Rock Solid to become an event where everyone can expect to be not only entertained, but also to have their hearts and minds piqued through laughter and joy. I’m equal parts nervous and excited to discover what we can all build together every second and fourth Wednesday, after this Wednesday’s debut.

It’s gonna be a great night! What else is coming up for you?

Well, I continue to perform with Third Rail in Then She Fell, but only occasionally (after 1,100 performances, I’ve slowed down there a bit). There’s an upcoming project in Miami this summer at an iconic Miami Beach hotel venue (it’s still very much under wraps), and I’m about to embark on an artistic process with my newly formed cast for an intimate immersive dance / theater experience inspired by the times and life of Josephine Baker. That one’s my dream project, and I’m excited to bring it to life. Meanwhile, I’m going to be pouring a lot if my creative energy into this collaboration with Jack. I want Rock Solid to truly succeed!

Good luck with everything! Last question, which I enjoy asking everyone in the genre: what is the absolute worst song one can burlesque to?

Hmmm….. Actually, I don’t know that there can be a worst. One person’s worst could be another artist’s greatest success. I seriously tried to come up with songs that would be the worst, and then I’d think of someone who’d probably find a way to kill it: any obscure holiday number, there’s someone who could turn it out. Any strange artsy song, there’s a Vic Sin or Seedy Edie who could make it into something spectacular. Sorry, but there’s no worst song. Burlesque asks you to make it work–do the strip, complete the number, deliver the goods–and as Tigger! says, “Fuck ’em in the heart,” song be damned!

Thank you, Gogo!

Check Thotyssey’s calendar for Gogo Gadget’s upcoming appearances, and follow him on Facebook and Instagram.

  On Point Archives

On Point With: Gogo Gadget A veteran all-star of the burlesque stage and the DJ booth, we are about to see even more of "The Bouncing Bubble-butt Beefcake of Burlesque" Gogo Gadget as he and another burlesque bae prepare a new recurring showcase in the West Village.

[reddiess]

ahh hello congrats on 1k!!! a hc that i think about a lot is bill trying to work up the nerve to ask stan to homecoming or prom and it takes him a long time but eventually he asks him in a super cheesy way with the help from the rest of the losers and :')))

weee thank you so much

- listen this could go a lot of ways but i prefer to think that Bill gathersthe losers around once he has the idea and starts issuing out tasks

- “Mike, you take Stan out somewhere, go bird watching on your granddad’s farm or something but make sure he doesn’t get back before 5. Meanwhile Richie and I will prepare–”

- Stan doesn’t know anything about it, all he knows is that he’s hanging out with Mike and then they’re going to watch movies at Bill’s

- LITTLE DOES HE KNOW BILL IS WAITING FOR HIM IN THE GARDEN WITH A HUGE SIGN THAT SAYS “PROM?” AND TABLE SET UP AND STAN’S FAV FOOD WAITING FOR HIM (ordered. don’t let Bill and Richie cook.) 

- i would die for this okay its cheesy and cliché and i bet Stan fucking loves it and is on the verge of tears bye

url: not my style / ok / nice one / awesome / flawless / IM GONNA STEAL IT

icon:  not my style / ok / nice one / awesome / flawless / BEAUTIFUL

theme: not my style / ok / nice one / awesome / flawless / AESTHETIC GOALS

mobile:  not my style / ok / nice one / awesome / flawless / AESTHETIC GOALS

posts:  not my style / ok / nice / awesome / flawless / PRIME CONTENT

overall:  don’t get it / ok / good / awesome / flawless / MARRY ME

do i follow you: no but ily! / just did (ꈍᴗꈍ) / of course / FOREVER

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E2 (Showmance)

Mama Mia, here I go again!

Please don’t tell me this GROWN MAN had his license plate changed to “GLEE” to reflect the high school club he runs. PLEASE.

Rachel brings a whole-ass SUITCASE to school? I know she’s extra by nature but PLEASE.

Finn just Doesn’t Know What Things Are! I adore him. 

You’re really just going to walk by Kurt hanging out by the dumpster with a bunch of dudes who harass him in the hallways? AGAIN? Nice one.

“One day, you will all work for me” I doubt these guys are going to be working up the ranks at Vogue.com, Kurt, but I rate the energy.

Emma you’re better than this dude. Run. Run as fast as your hollow bird pelvis will let you.

SANTANA’S FIRST LINE!!! You’re right, they should get a room. 

For all the creepy obsessing Will’s done so far over the glee kids, you’d think HE would be the one to notice how they don’t have enough members to qualify

Sue points out a bunch of special ed classes, and yet I’m pretty sure she says McKinley has no real support available for special needs students later on? They must be whack classes

These people are really acting like all Will does is coach the glee kids even though he’s literally a Spanish teacher

Early Quinn may be incredibly mean, but like, I’d say thanks if she killed me 

Rachel really has a whole spare outfit ready to change in to post-slushying? I guess that makes sense if it happens that regularly

Cory Monteith REALLY couldn’t dance and we love him for it

Disco didn’t suck until Mr Schue got his grubby little mitts on it

I almost forgot about Kurt’s selection of hats. What is this one? A fez? It’s fez shaped

Why is Kurt so sure they’ll throw fruit specifically? Is that McKinley asshole custom?

Terri’s actress, once again nailing the act of making me want to throttle her

Kendra also nails that.

A “used” house oh my god

THIS ARGUMENT BETWEEN KURT AND MERCEDES IS GOLDEN. “You need to call me before you dress yourself. You loo like a technicolor zebra.” They REALLY match. God I hope they ad-libbed that.

It’s the first rap of the show, folks. 

I hate Mr Schue doing Kanye, I really do, but imagine Finn doing it instead like he planned. Better? Worse? I can’t even tell anymore. 

The LOOK Kurt gives Mercedes when she starts belting out the Jamie Foxx part... Don’t be jealous hon you’ll get your bars. For real though his face is hilarious, he looks like he’s worried she’s about to burst a blood vessel with all that TALENT

Sign #5 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Get your hands OFF of Kurt Will Schuester he doesn’t want to dance! Tbh though I love season 1 Kurt during the group numbers because he just always looks SO done.

Mr Schue’s also wearing a T-shirt that says “DITCH PLANS” on it. Please DITCH the state instead?

KEVIN MCHALE IS THE UNSUNG VOCAL HERO OF THIS WHOLE SHOW AND I WILL NEVER LET ANYBODY FORGET IT

Watching them all sing in a goofy, candid way is honestly healing. 

KURT’S DOING THE SINGLE LADIES RING-HAND MOVE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS BOY REALLY LOVES HIS BEY. Me too Kurt me too

They straight up gave Rachel no gag reflex and had her guidance counsellor make a joke about it? Ok RIB

“Have you ever liked somebody so much you just want to lock yourself in your room, turn on sad music and cry?” Same girl, same

AAAaaaAAALllLlLLLLLlll BYYYYY MYYY SEEEEeeeEEEEEEEELFFFF.........bY mYsEeElF i’M bY mYsElF

Ok I like Emma but she sometimes kinda sucks at her job

“He doesn’t even notice me” Rachel, hon, he’s probably already warned his neighbours about you

“Gay parents encourage rebellion” PICK A SIDE, SUE! I really can’t keep up with the convenient flip-flopping of her bigotry. And with Jean, you’d think she’d go off on Rachel for calling people “chromosonally-challenged”

Finn, of course you know who Justin Timberlake is... That’s Mr Schue’s hotter, less evil twin!

I love how they have to label Robin Thicke on the poster - you know, because of how awful and irrelevant he was even then?

Half the janitors are just gone. How has this school not been closed down already?

Sign #6 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: Mr Schue: I want to build a club where people can express themselves musically Literally every single member: Hello Mr Schue, I’m here to express how much I dislike the music you’re making us perform. Mr Schue: Never talk to me or my fake-unborn-son ever again

Humble, modest Finn going d’aww shucks and telling Rachel to stop complimenting him is adorable. I love him!!!

How could I forget the celibacy club... I almost feel bad for Quinn, he’ like the only person there who genuinely cares about being celibate. I don’t buy that anybody’s convinced that Puck’s a virgin...

The fact that Finn thought joining the celibacy club would get him laid is just... Yeah. It suits him. 

Jacob Ben Israel you will die by my hand you slimy, unforgivable bastard. NOBODY IS OBLIGATED TO GET YOUR DINGER WET, SCUMBAG! Short skirts are not an entitlement!!!

I still don’t know what Puck means when he says “Those skirts are crunchy toast” and I don’t think I want to know.

OH GOD T H E M A I L M A N . . .

Finn Hudson has canonically nearly killed a man and I don’t think anybody talks about that enough.

I beg all of you to look up this scene and listen to the way Finn goes “Ahahaha... Driving’s fun...” Like it just brings me so much joy. What a doofus. 

Carole’s first instinct is to yell “OH MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED HIM WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!” Calm down queen he’s gon be fine

Quinn really hates contraception, huh!

I know your wife is a shit, Mr Schue, but it’s fucking reprehensible to lead on another woman. It’s clearly intentional at this point I’m sorry, you don’t put chalk dust on somebody’s nose like that platonically!

Rachel: We’re going to give them what they want! Kurt: Blood? God I love him

I do love the running gag of Figgins wildly overestimating the excitement for the assemblies tbh

This school doesn’t have working toilets but, hey, on the bright side, all you have to do to get expelled is shit yourself!

“Yay, Glee! Glee kids hooray!” Emma just warms my cockles

Will referring to the glee club and saying “We’re on our way back” like no, old man, you’re not getting clout for this. Then again, neither are any of the students until they’ve graduated...

AHH, PUSH IT! KURT’S HIPS. LOOK AT THEM GO. HE’S SO INTO IT.

I WANT THE FACE SUE MAKES WHEN SHE SEES FIGGINS TAPPING HIS FOOT TATTOOED ON MY HEART

Finn’s face as he gets ready to start his part... He’s so nervous. Bless him...

THE PERFECT TIMING OF KURT SLAPPING HIS ASS. And then the zoom on that fucking fanny pack going crazy this scene is so fucking iconic. That fanny pack has been burned into my retinas forever. 

AND THE WAY HE WOBBLES HIS HEAD AROUND AS HE STEPS BACK. KURT! FUCKING! HUMMEL!

Oh god, now he’s crawling across the floor to Mercedes. I can’t tear my eyes away he’s GOING for it!

They really had Finn and Rachel go that hard? Honestly up until that point, the routine isn’t too overtly sexual, but now I understand why they get in trouble 

I DON’T GET HOW THEY’RE STILL LOOKED DOWN ON AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE! Nearly everybody applauds! RIB just had to have that cake and eat it too. 

I demand Will’s resignation too, Sue

Ah, the approved songs list... That they will proceed to ignore for the rest of the season post the Unholy Trinity’s audition

Sign #7 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He has NO PLACE to be mad at Rachel here. You didn’t listen to any of your students, you wouldn’t compromise, and now they’re going on a sex riot. You did this!

Ken Tanaka you cannot undermine a woman’s self esteem and convince her to settle for you as a second choice, and then complain about feeling like a second choice... WHY do they ever act like he’s a victim here?!

Finn saw that whole-ass picnic set up and didn’t think to ask about it? King. I love one (1) himbo. The way he says “You’re cool, Rachel” just fucks me up every time...

She pours him the TINIEST drink in the world? Girl the cups not even a tenth full and he’s a big boy...

The real OTP is Finn x Airplane Cups

Why does Rachel lie down for the kiss... Is it solely so Finn can have his little overflow at the mayo factory or???

THE MAILMAN SCENE HAPPENS EVERY TIME HE KA-BLAMOS OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET...

Look, Rachel, I get that it sucks that he ran away, but he literally has a girlfriend? You couldn’t have expected things to go that well...

THE UNHOLY TRINITY FORMS... I’M QUAKING

Throwback to how blatantly obvious it was that Santana and Quinn weren’t singing at all. How did they think they’d get away with that...

Brittany’s original sideswept bangs? Ugh. Giving me LIFE.

Dianna’s voice turned me gay. I’m genuinely convinced my sexuality is Quinn Fabray’s fault and I’m not even mad?

By this point we know next to nothing about Santana’s character, but the second Sue suggests sabotage, her face fucking lights up. She’s living for it already 10/10

Will you can’t make Emma tag along to all your janitorial shifts I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re married. And a jackass. 

I know Rachel went behind his back, but there’s no real reason to give Quinn the Don’t Stop Believing solo? She’s talented and incredible and I love her, sure, but it doesn’t suit her voice at all my guy, if you didn’t have biscuits for ears you’d know that...

Is this the only instance where Will takes actual responsibility for the glee club’s actions rather than blaming it all on the kids? Wow... A rare gem.

The way he says “I should never have pushed disco so hard...” All serious like... Get a fucking grip

I can believe that Rachel’s neighbours would sue her for singing all the god damn time

Rachel singing “Take A Bow” is more fitting than I realised. At first I was like, “that’s dumb, Finn doesn’t really realise what he did anyway” but it fits her character to use a song and spin it so she feels empowered by it in the end. Or at least, tries to feel that way.

So there’s episode 2! What a hot mess. We love our hot mess.

[sswg]

Stingray

By Kaite Belmont

We drove in the morning, a sunny September day, quiet in the car, music on the radio, as we sped down Route 78, then up and up and over, further northwest until the ugly gray buildings and overpasses turned to green rolling hills. As we got closer, the highway narrowed to two lanes and began to wind through the mountain. I’d driven that highway so many times I knew every curve and straightaway, every slight turn of the wheel. The girls were excited because they figured they were close based on the landscape, but my heart was pounding because I really knew how close we were. Ten minutes. One light away. “Ok guys, it’s the next light. Are you sure you want to go?” I glanced to Sage at my right and in the rearview mirror at Ayn in the back, flicking my cigarette out the window. “We’re going!” said Sage, taking a deep drag as her hair flew wildly.

The street sign swung in the wind as we turned right on to Clinton Road.

In the jumbled layers of time it’s hard to tell the difference between the truth and tall tales. Some have the instant aura of falseness, while others make you squint your eyes with scrutiny, yet that glimmer of believing is shining right in your eyes.

This feeling, disbelief masking a hint of fear was the attitude of many when it came to Clinton Road. The roughly 10 mile long road was similar to nearly every road where I grew up in Northwest NJ: it was heavily wooded, meandering past small lakes and ponds, quiet and utterly lacking in cell phone service. What distinguished this road from all of the others was a heap of urban legends and rumors that ranged from the believable to the outlandish. There were so many stories about this road, it was hard to ignore them. Clinton Road was haunted.

Route 23 was advancing behind us, and the beginning of the road was dotted with houses. “This isn’t so bad,” said Ayn from the back of the car.

I laughed. “Just wait.”

They had begged me to go after learning about the road one late night in our dorm room full of new friends. Attending a school in Staten Island meant there were others from the Tri-State area, and inevitably the conversation, rapid and jostled as we all gasped to share our stories, our anecdotes, led us to our neighbor state, my home, New Jersey. Of all the strange things that could come up, Clinton Road was always one of them, along with the three or four other weird places and urban myths like Fairy Tale Forest, the Ringling Brothers Mansion and Midgetville.

“What’s so scary about a road?” asked Sage. Five of us were sitting around my tiny dorm room in Harbor View Hall. The conversation had turned to the unique places in our hometowns, and despite being from totally different parts of the state, Kevin, Dylan and I had already established that my region was the strangest.

“It’s not just a long, creepy, desolate road,” said Kevin. He took a swig of beer and shifted his weight on my hard wooden desk chair. “They say the Jersey Devil lives in a cave in the woods up there.”

“There are stories of a ghost truck,” Dylan chimed in. “When you drive on the road at night, out of nowhere this pickup truck comes up behind you with its brights on and tries to drive you off the road.”

I practically shouted, “That happened to my friend once! They went there on Halloween and this truck just appeared. They were so freaked out!” I leaned back on my bed, remembering hearing this story at lunch time in high school. “There’s this one part in the road, a turn, where it practically makes a 90 degree angle.”

“Dead Man’s Curve!” said Dylan.

“Dead Man’s Curve.” I said. “The bridge is haunted by a little boy, who is supposed to have fallen off the bridge and drowned. If you throw a coin over the bridge, he tosses it back up to you.”

Ayn said, “No way!” as she tucked her shock of red, curly hair behind her ear.

“Yes! My friend Steph tried it once,” I said. “She swore when she turned her back to the bridge she heard the sound of the coin hitting the pavement. She was so scared she didn’t even look back.”

The room was silent for a moment, until Sage cried, “That’s it, we’re going tomorrow.”

I shook my head. “No thanks, I really don’t need to do that.”

“Come on,” she wined in her Texan accent. “We’ll go on the road and then go hang out at your house for the night or something. It’ll be fun! We’d go without you but you’re the only one with a car.”

Sage and Ayn begged me until I finally relented. “Fine,” I said. “But we’re going during the day. None of this ‘driving at midnight’ shit.”

“Good luck,” laughed Kevin, as he put on a new song on my computer and threw his can in my little plastic trash can.

I had only ever driven on Clinton Road a handful of times, and only once alone. I never took part in the Saturday night or Halloween excursions growing up, mostly because I was just too scared. Occasionally I had been on the road with my mom when we were running late to a dentist appointment, but she too was creeped out and would try to avoid it. The one time I went alone, I white knuckled it the entire way. I was dating a boy who lived at the top of the mountain, and taking Clinton Road was the best way to get there.

“It’s not a big deal,” he said. “It’s just a road. I drive on it all the time.”

“Well it freaked me out,” I said when I arrived at this house, which was located down a winding dirt road. Fortunately for me, our relationship didn’t last very long, and I never had to make the trek again.

I thought of that time as the houses started to fade and the forest was suddenly all around us. In the late summer weather it was actually quite beautiful. I was grateful, though, for having two other people in the car.

The speed limit and deer crossing signs along the road were covered in graffiti, and occasionally I took my eyes of the road for a few seconds to peer into the deep woods. What goes on back there? I thought. What creepy people are hiding in there right now? They said were KKK meetings in the woods back in the day, the burning crosses invisible in the heavy foliage but the smoke rising above the trees. There were also devil worshippers, they said.

The day was sunny and bright, but the tree cover over the road grew thicker, casting odd shadows across the gnarled and pothole ridden drive. We finally made it to Dead Man’s Curve, inching our way around the sharp turn as carefully as possible. There were strange markings in the road and more graffiti on the concrete barriers.

“Want to stop and try the coin trick?” said Ayn.

“No thanks, I’d like to get off this road as soon as possible.” I knew we weren’t even close to half way down the road and I was already experiencing what my mom referred to as “the heebie geebies.”

We got around the curve to see an eggplant colored van stopped dead in the middle of the road. My heart started pounding in my chest; could this be one of the haunted cars? I slowed down as we got closer and saw that there was a man outside of the car, staring down. No phantom drivers here, but I still did not want to stop. Though the car may not be haunted the people inside of it were possibly the devil worshippers, who were said to take residence in the centuries old, abandoned brick structures that spotted the woods.

We rolled down our windows for a better look at the commotion as I maneuvered around the van. A woman was in the car, her eyes fixed on the same point in the road, as the man walked slowly towards the shoulder, gently kicking his right foot out in front of him. We were startled to hear a distinct rattling noise.

“Holy shit!” cried Sage, pointing out of the window. “There’s a rattlesnake in the road!”

“A what?!”

The man was trying to direct, with his ratty white sneaker, an actual rattlesnake to the side of the road, while the snake quivered its rattle in agitation.

“There are no rattlesnakes in North Jersey!” I yelled craning my neck to get a closer look. But there it was, slinking along the asphalt. The man was talking to it, saying, “Come on little fella. Almost there.” He started to bend down towards it, maybe in an attempt to get a closer look.

“What the fuck is that guy doing!” said Ayn.

I shook my head, wracking my brain for all of the times I’ve seen snakes in the woods up here, failing to find a rattlesnake in my memories. “I dunno, but that is some Steve Irwin shit right there.”

“Why doesn’t he call Animal Control or something?”

“Because there’s no cell phone service!”

We all started to laugh as we drove away from the bizarre scene.

Sage exhaled a cloud of smoke and turned towards Ayn and I. “Steve Irwin, that’s hilarious. That guy is nuts.”

“I know!” I said, laughing.

“There’s no way he can keep doing that shit,” said Ayn. “He can’t just keep wrestling alligators and kimono dragons until he retires, right? How is it that one of those things hasn’t killed him yet?”

“Well I’m sure he’s gonna bite it one of these days.” Sage looked out the window and up into the tree line. “You can’t live on the edge forever.”

The green leaves from oak and birch tress rustled overhead as we wound our way up the road, talking and laughing, smoking singing along to the music, trying to get our minds off the eeriness of the rattlesnake incident. I told them about the other weird things in my hometown, like the mysterious telephone poles along Rt. 23 South, the tops affixed with their own icon: a traffic cone, a light up plastic snowman, a mailbox, a bird. No one knew how they got there, but there they stayed.

I wasn’t as scared in the car with my friends, but I was anxious for this road trip to be over, and I felt myself speeding up as I knew the road was coming close to an end. We drove the entire road and came out unharmed, without being chased off it, sacrificed in a ritual or haunted by the ghost boy. I felt it was a success, and felt a small bit of pride at not peeing my pants in fear or turning around.

The next morning, we woke up early and packed our bags, excited to return to Wagner and tell our friends about our trip.

My mom greeted us with coffee and I saw she had bought the paper, which I began to flip through.

“Did you hear?” she asked while she was filling up the sugar bowl.

“Hear what?” I said, biting into my toast.

“It’s so sad. You know that wildlife guy, Steve Irwin? He died yesterday, got stung by a stingray and he just died.”

I dropped my toast and the paper, and looked at Sage and Ayn. Ayn’s face was as bright has her hair.

“You guys,” Sage whispered, her eyes wide with fear. “We killed Steve Irwin.”