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shipmistress9 · 5 years ago

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FTLOAP: Chapter 43: I Don’t Wanne Close My Eyes

Fandom: HTTYD

Theme: Hiccstrid - Medieval-style AU - Romance - Angst/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: Reduced to little more than a stable boy, Hiccup, despite his noble birth, has few prospects for more in life. But when he meets a girl who came to look at the horses, being a stable boy might not be enough anymore. Together, they have tough choices to make and great risks to navigate if they want to survive and be together.

Rating: Explicit

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Discord-server for discussions and questions

Part 1: Prologue; Chapter 1; Chapter 2; Chapter 3; Chapter 4; Chapter 5; Chapter 6; Chapter 7; Chapter 8; Chapter 9; Chapter 10; Chapter 11;

Part 2: Chapter 12; Chapter 13; Chapter 14; Interlude 1; Chapter 15; Chapter 16; Chapter 17; Chapter 18; Chapter 19; Chapter 20; Chapter 21; Chapter 22; Chapter 23; Chapter 24; Chapter 25; Chapter 26; Interlude 2; Chapter 27: Chapter 28 ; Chapter 29 ; Chapter 30; Chapter 31; Chapter 32; Interlude 3; Bonus 1; Chapter 33

Part 3: Chapter 34; Chapter 35; Chapter 36; Interlude 4; Chapter 37; Chapter 38; Chapter 39; Chapter 40; Interlude 5; Chapter 41; Chapter 42

Alpha/Co-author: @athingofvikings

. – * – _ . o O o . _ – * – .

AN: Hey everybody. Once again sorry that there was no update last week. As announced on Tumblr, neither I nor athingofvikings had the time and energy to get it done in time. By now, I'm relatively satisfied though, so I hope this chapter will make up for the waiting. Also, thank you all for being this understanding. You're great! :D

But at this point, I'd like to make an announcement. It's quite possible that in future, more chapters might come in later as well. The reason is that I'm pregnant. :) 7 months in now. The baby, a little girl, it due in Decembre. So yeah, I have a lot of other things on my mind besides writing these days, and focusing on one thing gets harder and harder. ^^"

As mentioned before, this entire part was meant to be in the previous chapter... In the end, it turned out so long that I probably would have split it anyway, so... it's okay as it is?

And I want to make two things clear...Many people are speculating about Daniel, when he'll return, and how he'll be able to help our couple. A few questions in this regard will finally get answered in his chapter ;)

And I've mentioned this before a few times, but since it came up THREE TIMES in the reviews and comments to this chapter alone...

YES, TOOTHLESS AND A FEW OTHER DRAGONS WILL EVENTUALLY PLAY A ROLE HERE, TOO.

Maybe everyone reads this now... but I won't bet on it.

This chapter now has the title I'd planned for the previous already. It's from 'I Don't Want to Miss a Thing' by Aerosmith, and I think it fits really well here. ;)

. o O o .

Even though the ball ended up being much more enjoyable after her trip out to the gardens, Astrid was still grateful when it finally ended with the last movement from the band and her father’s formal speech. No, not just grateful. She was excited. She was practically trembling with anticipation for the planned meeting in Eret’s rooms, and would have liked nothing more than to go there directly after the party.

But Ruff’s words of caution, of not starting those kinds of rumours made her see reason. It was expected that women would wait until their wedding night, and while the social expectations were different in different regions – from what she’d heard, over in eastern regions, long betrothals and sex during the betrothal were not unheard of – here in the capital, it was ironclad. Women who were outside of the Temple waited. Period. Rumours of her being seen entering Eret’s chambers would be the height of scandal, especially given the still-ongoing competition over her hand. However, if that had been the only reason, she wouldn’t have cared much. No, what was even more important: if people believed that she’d already slept with Eret, then gaining acceptance for her actual choice later on would be even harder.

So, reluctantly, she accepted the necessity of having to return to her own rooms first, in order to change out of her extravagant and recognizable ball gown and into one of Ruff’s simple maidservant outfits in nothing else. But even with that disguise, she had to wait until the castle had calmed down for the night, just like before when she’d sneaked out to meet Hiccup at the stables. Once it was time though, there was nothing that could stop her. She’d expected to go alone, that Ruff and Tuff, who also had a long day, would be tired. But they insisted on coming along regardless.

“We’re in on this now, whether you want it or not,” Ruff had commented dryly, her brother simply nodding at her side.

Astrid wasn’t sure whether three people on an errand might be a little too obvious, despite the twins’ assurances that it would actually be more effective. But thankfully they didn’t have far to go and also didn’t encounter anyone in the dark corridors, and once they’d reached Eret’s rooms, she found that she couldn’t care less about such thoughts. The moment she stepped inside, out of view of whoever might be walking the corridors, and spotted Hiccup standing at the far end, awkwardly shifting his weight off his left leg and biting his lower lip, everything else around her seemed to fade out of existence.

With a soft gasp, she flew through the room and into his arms, her lips on his before anyone could react in any way. Some part of her had feared that everything that had happened out in the gardens had been nothing but a dream, just wishful thinking. But at that moment, she fully realised that all of that – talking to Hiccup, reconnecting with him, and the whole conversation with Eret and the others – had really happened. She was back in Hiccup’s arms, where she belonged, and nothing would ever be able to separate them again.

It took him less than a second to catch up to her mood, his hands on her back hurling her closer, their kiss turning deeper and more heated. This was different from the sweet reconnecting out in the gardens, not hesitant or careful but instead filled with all the longing of the past two weeks. It was wonderful, everything she’d missed and longed for: his hands on her waist and back, his lips and tongue moving with her own, the stubble on his jaw scraping pleasantly over her skin. She could feel his warmth seeping into her body, heard his low gasps and moans against her mouth, could smell his achingly familiar scent of leather and sunshine, could finally taste him again. The force of their kiss even made him stumble a step or two backwards before he caught himself – and her – again, gripping even harder, and Astrid wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment forever.

But, of course, time wouldn’t stand still for them.

“Oh dear, get a room, you two,” Dagur commented from behind her, reminding Astrid of their audience.

Embarrassed and also a little breathless, she pulled back from Hiccup after all – reassured by the expression of joy and love she spotted in his eyes – and turned to look at their friends again.

“Be careful with what you wish for,” Tuff groaned at that moment, letting his head drop back in one of his theatrical gestures. “Giving them a private room might result in more noise than even you would want to hear.”

. o O o .

Despite the joy and happiness buzzing through Hiccup’s body after her kiss, he involuntarily tensed at Tuff’s words. How much did Astrid’s warder know? Spotting the fierce blush on her cheeks, he figured that the man at least had to know something, and he threw an apprehensive look at how Eret and Dagur would react to this information. Knowing about their feelings was one thing, but learning that Hiccup apparently knew very well how the Princess – their little sister – looked beneath her expensive robes was something else entirely.

But before either of them got the chance to say anything, Astrid beat them to it. “I don’t think that’s why we’re here, is it?” she asked, quickly and in a way that made her intentions to change the topic more than clear. However, none of the others objected, allowing Hiccup to relax again. This was really not the moment he wanted to discuss the extent of their intimacy – not that he felt like ever discussing it with anyone present!

Waiting for her here in Eret’s rooms for the past hour had been awkward enough already. There was a certain tension, especially between him and Eret, and Hiccup knew that, at some point, they would have to talk about it. But with Dagur around as well, there hadn’t been time so far, so he pushed all those mixed feelings aside. Now was not the time to dwell on them.

“You’re right. That is not why we’re here,” Eret agreed after a short tense pause.

“Related, though,” Dagur commented dryly.

Eret scoffed and he shook his head as if to shake off an unpleasant thought, then ran a hand through his hair before he pulled over a chair to sit down.

Hiccup could hardly blame him. After the long night of dancing and the ride earlier in the day, his legs ached as well; the left one especially was cramping now that the tension of waiting for Astrid had ebbed off. He looked around, but the only seating accommodations were the other chairs, which quickly were occupied by Dagur and Astrid’s servants, and the couch that usually served as his bed these days. He hesitated, but with Astrid still refusing to let go of him – and frankly him feeling the same reluctance – a chair wouldn’t have suited them anyway. So he guided her the few steps to the side to sit down there, not caring what the others might think.

Eret threw them a thoughtful glance when Hiccup looked up again but didn’t comment. Instead, he went straight to the point, taking Astrid’s heavy-handed suggestion without rancour. “All right, let’s see what we have,” he began, unusually sober compared to his usual rather relaxed nature and the joking atmosphere of only a few minutes ago. ”First, I’d say we need to all get onto the same page. I mean, the main problem is obvious; Astrid has to pick a husband, but Hiccup isn’t eligible. We could make some excuses to postpone the betrothal, by faking an injury or an illness, for example. But that wouldn’t solve the problem. What we need is a way for Hiccup to rise in rank sufficient to be eligible. So what was the plan you had in mind before Astrid’s birthday – assuming you had one?”

Astrid nodded enthusiastically, apparently eager to get started. But although Hiccup felt the same energy, at least to some degree, he wasn’t fooling himself. For sure, maybe Eret and Dagur would have some brilliant solution that had evaded him – but he doubted it. Not because he didn’t think them intelligent, but after he’d already spent so many nights desperately searching for an answer, it seemed unlikely that they’d spring on it. What was left that he might not have thought about already?

“To be honest, I wasn’t really thinking about this at all at first,” Astrid admitted sheepishly. “All I knew was that there had to be a way and that Hiccup had a plan.” She shrugged, her hand squeezing his as everyone’s attention turned toward him.

Slowly, he nodded. “Yeah, I had a plan… or something in that direction, at least.” His eyes focused on Eret. “I planned to... well, to simply do my best as your squire,” he said, self-consciously. “I wanted to make a good impression, on you but mostly on Daniel. I... I hoped I could earn his respect and maybe get him to like me, enough so that when I would ask for land and title when Astrid came of age, he’d support me.” He gave a helpless shrug. “That sounds so stupid now, but I thought it could work. It had to…”

The last words, he only added in a low and sad whisper so only Astrid would be able to hear him. His eyes met hers, and he couldn’t keep the pain out of them, the renewed sense that he’d failed her. Yes, he’d been so sure… But even with the Goddess’s assurance, he still wasn’t able to feel the same again, not after what had happened. There still was this tiny sting of doubt, of the fear that he might not be able to prove himself worthy after all.

“I see,” Eret sighed. “You’re right, it sounds pretty foolhardy. But… well, given how quickly you and Daniel already became friends by now, it could have worked, I think – with enough time.”

Hiccup nodded, swallowing. “Which is the problem. We don’t have that time anymore,” he muttered, his voice weak and breaking. Only dimly he was aware of Astrid reaching up to caress his face, even her soothing touch barely enough to pull him out of his thoughts. He’d been over this so many times during the past weeks, and talking about it now didn’t feel like it would help at all. On the contrary, it just made everything more real.

“Well, we could still approach Daniel with this proposition together, right?” Dagur now threw in, looking from one to the other until his eye stayed on Eret. “As you said, Daniel certainly likes him. That in addition to Astrid’s feelings and our support might be enough, don’t you think?”

“No!” Astrid gasped. She became rigid in his embrace, her face suddenly pale even in the dim light of the lanterns. “No, you can’t tell him! He-he would get Hiccup hanged! Just like Harold and that other– No, please, he can’t know! Please!”

Hiccup tried to soothe her as she started to tremble violently, but knew that there was little he could do right now. This had been her fear right from the beginning, and even though he hoped that it wouldn’t come to that, he also couldn’t be sure. He and Daniel might have become something like friends, but that didn’t mean he knew how the Prince would react to such a violation of his own law.

However, Eret seemed to be less concerned about that. “Is that why you never said anything? Because of Daniel and his law?” he asked, grimacing.

Whimpering softly, she nodded. “You’ve seen how hard he’d become, how mercilessly he executed Harold. Not… not that he didn’t deserve it, but… what if he does the same to Hiccup?” Her hand around his tightened, nearly crushing it. “I won’t take that risk. We can’t tell him, not until it’s all settled.”

Slowly, Eret shook his head at her. “Oh, Swanja,” he sighed. “I really wish you would have said something sooner. You got it all wrong. This law… it’s about people who touch you without your consent, against your will. Harold tried to rape you, for Odin’s sake; of course, Daniel showed him no mercy. But he’d only need to take one look at you two to see that this is what you want. Believe me, he wouldn’t punish Hiccup for making you as happy as you’ve been at the ball earlier. On the contrary, Dagur is probably right. If he knew, he might very well support you.”

Next to Hiccup, Astrid seemed to deflate, and he pulled her even closer until she leaned against him again, her face hidden against his chest. He’d seen the sheer panic in Astrid’s eyes at the idea of her brother catching them. Maybe Eret was right and Daniel wouldn’t even mind, but that didn’t mean that her fear hadn’t been real. And he could only imagine how it looked inside her head now.

But whether Daniel would punish him for their love or not, Hiccup felt a certain hollowness of is own at Eret’s words. In a low voice, he murmured, “I wouldn’t count on him supporting us either way. He made it pretty clear who he wants her to marry.” His eyes flickered to Eret, who flinched at his words but didn’t contradict him. “From what I learned about him, he doesn’t believe in love at all, even called it a fickle thing when we talked once.” His head turned toward her on its own volition, leaning a little closer. He wanted to hold her forever, to never let her go. But with every minute they talked, his hopes sank.

“And if Daniel thought Hiccup to be a suitable candidate, wouldn’t he have arranged for him to at least be eligible for this stupid marriage contest?” she added bitterly, apparently having caught herself again, and shook her head. “No, I won’t count on his help.”

Eret grimaced, and even though it looked as if he wanted to object, he didn’t. “I wish I could contradict you there,” he muttered. “I mean, one thing’s for sure, he does care for your happiness, and greatly so. But…” He let out a heavy sigh. “But you’re right, counting on that to be enough might be a mistake. Because Hiccup’s right, he made his preference regarding your choice clear, at least retrospectively. And while he certainly wouldn’t approve of a strictly political marriage with, say, Thuggory, he still has to keep the safety of the Kingdom in mind as well. As future King, he needs you to forge a beneficial alliance through your marriage.” He gave a small, apologetic shrug. “That being said, we can at least keep this option in mind; it would have to be some kind of last option anyway. Daniel isn’t due to return until a few days before the official betrothal, and since it’s apparently impossible to contact him – or he actively refuses to answer; I’ve sent him three letters by now – we can’t approach him with this earlier anyway.”

Astrid tensed. “I don’t think relying on his support as some last option is a good idea,” she murmured, and even without having to look at her, Hiccup knew what she was thinking. And apparently, he wasn’t the only one.

“I know where this is going, Swanja,” Eret said, shaking his head at her. “But I really hope there’ll be another solution.”

His and Astrid’s eyes met, the sudden tension between them tangible to everyone around. Hiccup swallowed, waiting. A major part of him wanted to support Astrid in this, to simply run away, right now, and not care for any consequences. But he just couldn’t do that.

“Eh, what’s he talkin’ about?” Tuff asked as the silence stretched on.

His sister let her head drop back with a groan. “Isn’t that obvious? They want to elope. Might be the only realistic option anyway.”

From the corner of his eye, Hiccup saw how both Tuff’s and Dagur’s heads snapped around to stare at them. But he didn’t dare to turn his gaze away from Eret, anxiously awaiting his reaction.

However, it was Astrid who spoke first. “I won’t take any chances,” she said, her voice low but urgent. “I won’t wait and hope until it’s too late! The past two weeks gave me a taste of the life awaiting me if I do, and–” she turned in his embrace until their eyes met– “and I won’t lose you again!”

Hiccup’s throat tightened at the raw emotions in her eyes. Desperation. Determination. Love. He pulled her closer until his forehead rested against hers, holding her tight “You won’t,” he whispered, and added mentally, Not if I can help it.

With a soft sigh, Astrid pressed herself closer to him. It helped to reassure and calm him, at least a little bit. There was a way, no matter how hopeless things seemed right now. There had to be…

“I know that it’s pointless to try and talk you out of this plan,” Eret eventually said in a quiet voice. “But please, can you at least consider other options, too? If you really pull this idea through… I don’t even want to imagine the chaos that would follow.”

There was a spark of resistance in Astrid’s eyes as she turned her head back toward the others, toward Eret, and Hiccup braced himself for an intense argument. Because he knew what Eret meant – but he also knew that, if running away with her really turned out to be the only option, then he would not hesitate to follow through with it.

“Just think it through, Swanja,” Eret implored when she didn’t say anything, painting the mental picture despite his former words. “If you two were simply gone one morning, it won’t matter who knew or suspected what you’re feeling for each other or what your reasons were. It will be seen as an abduction. There would be a hefty bounty on Hiccup’s head and a reward waiting for whoever brings you back – you alive, and him dead. I assume you think you can hide until nobody is looking for you anymore, but I promise you, that won’t be easy. And for how long are you planning to hide anyway? A year? Five? Twenty? And even if you manage to not be found… have you thought about what would happen here? Even if Dagur and I can convince our fathers that he didn’t kidnap you against your will, it would be impossible to turn that into a public announcement. You’re the Princess! You’re in the focus of the public eye; people won’t simply forget that you existed. And there are enough influential people out there who’d love to use this to tear apart the alliance the Kingdom is built on. I… I don’t even know how people would react. Hiccup’s my squire, so maybe some would blame House Jag’r for working against the Kingdom and try to drive a wedge between us. Or maybe someone would remember that Hiccup is from the Tribes and blame them. Can you imagine the chaos, no matter whether people would just openly protest, for example against the palace guard being made up by tribesmen, or would even demand your father reigns them in for good? It’s all–”

“Don’t you think I know all that?” Astrid interrupted him all of a sudden. She was shaking all over now, her fingers digging into Hiccup’s arm almost painfully. “Because I do! I’ve known for all my life that I have responsibilities. And it’s because of the people that I haven’t run away from it all long ago. But…” She threw a quick glance up at Hiccup before resting her head against his chest, hiding from everyone. “I don’t want to cause this kind of trouble. But I just can’t live without Hiccup.”

Hiccup’s arms around her tightened further as he tried to silently reassure her. However, a small part of him was actually glad that Eret had brought up all these problems that could come up if they ran away. Yes, he’d agreed to this option as a last resort, but he really hoped they would somehow find another way.

With a heavy sigh, Eret drew their attention again. “I know,” he said in a surprisingly soft voice. “I’ve watched you these last two weeks, Swanja, and believe me, I wouldn’t want to toss you back into that state. But… just promise me that you won’t simply be gone one day. Promise me that you’ll wait, that you’ll let us look for another solution in earnesty. And even if we can’t find one, there still might be ways to… I don’t know, to prepare your disappearance. Just don’t do something stupid, okay?”

After a short but tense moment, she nodded. “I won’t...”

A small wave of relief wash through Hiccup, something he hadn’t known he really needed until that moment. Eret’s concerns were real. And yes, he’d do everything to be with her. But he also knew that he would hate it if their love came at the expense of others, and he was sure that Astrid felt the same. Or would feel once things settled down.

Eret didn’t repeat his question to him, just threw him an inquiring look and was satisfied when Hiccup gave him a firm nod in return.

“Okay,” he then sighed, and settled a little more comfortably in his chair. “Now that that’s settled, let’s see what we have. What is it you’ve thought about so far, Hiccup? It’s probably easiest to start there.”

Next to him, Astrid relaxed noticeably, presumably now that she knew Eret wouldn’t try to separate them after all. Her tight grip on his arm loosened and her body seemed to sag as she snuggled against him more comfortably. Hiccup turned his head to place a kiss onto her hair, deeply inhaling her wonderful mayweed scent, and drew strength from her closeness before he answered.

“I’ll try, but I doubt it’ll be of any help,” he said, his voice trembling. “We’ve already covered that my original plan to gain a title through Daniel’s favour won’t work. Maybe we can hope on his support once he’s back, but that’s a flimsy hope at best. That would be awfully close to the day Astrid has to choose for real, and even the Prince himself can’t create a title out of nowhere. And as for other options… I can’t see any. Uncle Eret already made it clear that, even though he might want to, he won’t be able to provide me with a title, family or not. He has enough vassals who already requested compensation for their lost lands, worthy men who’ve earned their place. And the only land he actually had to distribute was the farm in Sunhill which is part of Ester’s dowry. Aiming for that would be both pointless as she’s betrothed already and would kinda defeat the purpose anyway.” He laughed, shakily. “I never placed a request to the other Grand Dukes, but their situation is hardly different, and they have even less reason to help me anyway – despite the blood relation to House Jorgenson. And the King…” He gave a helpless shrug. “Likewise. He has enough requests for titles as it is. There simply is no land left for titleless noblemen like me. That’s the whole problem, isn’t it? The reason why the Kingdom is at the brink of a civil war. There’s no point in joining that struggle, no hope of success at all. Even if I was willing to enter those fights and to further tear at the Kingdom’s foundation, I’d be going in there naked, with no manpower, no money, no allies.”

“And what are we?” Dagur threw in, a little offended, but Hiccup didn’t even need to reply as Eret beat him to it.

“We wouldn’t be of much use,” he grunted. “Not yet. We might count as powerful allies in case we can bring our fathers on our side. But even then we can’t enter the title disputes, not without making it all so much worse.”

“Worse how?” Ruff asked, sounding curious.

Eret scoffed and affected a high, simpering, overcultured voice. “‘But sire, why won’t you come to my aid in defence of my claim on that title? You helped that titleless squire, after all!’” He twisted his torso as if turning to look at the man who had been ‘speaking’ and said in a much more gruff tone, “‘That was a special situation. I’m sorry, but I can’t be of any help.’”

Then Dagur jumped in, with an imitation of the high overcultured voice. “‘Well, fine then, sire. But I and my kin will remember this in the future!’” He coughed to clear his throat as Eret motioned towards him with a there you go gesture.

“All we’d be able to do is support him with trade contracts and the like, but not with manpower. We can’t help him gain a title, only support him once he has one.”

“So what about the North then?” Tuff asked from where he lounged in his chair, his legs dangling off one side. “I mean, he is the heir to one of the most powerful Houses there, aren’t you? Even with the struggles about who’s to become the new High Chief and all, that has to count for something, right?”

Hiccup hadn’t known how well Astrid’s servants were informed about his situation and identity, but he decided to not focus on that point. It didn’t really matter now anyway. Instead, he concentrated on facts, on staying calm enough to explain, and was incredibly grateful for Astrid’s supportive hand reaching for his own. He would have to rely on her strength some more tonight.

“There’s nothing there to gain either,” he replied in a strained voice, aware of how Eret and Dagur leaned a little closer. He couldn’t even blame them; he hadn’t really told them anything about what had happened. “I’m an outcast from the Tribes. Even if I don’t return to the islands and tried my luck with one of the dukes on the mainland, at the coast or even further south somewhere amidst Wodensleya... they wouldn’t dare to support me. Not with the threat of the Tribes’ retribution looming over their heads.”

“‘Their retribution? What would they do, toss you over the side of one of their ships and make you swim?” Tuff suggested, breezily dismissing his words with a languid wave of his arm.

Hiccup scowled at him. “Yeah, maybe... about thirty miles from shore in a storm. But more likely is something like ‘midnight raids with flaming torches’ and then let’s work our way up from there.”

Tuff snorted. “I’m always up for a bit of drama, but that certainly is a bit too dramatic, don’t you think? I mean–”

“No, it isn’t,” Hiccup cut him off directly. He remembered what had happened, even though he wished he didn’t. But the bewildered looks everyone threw him at his strong reaction made it clear that he would have to relive it all again now. “It happened about a season after... after my family died,” he said through clenched teeth, eyes pressed shut. “Some idiot popped up at Grunberg, one of the biggest settlements on the coast, and claimed that he was me. The ‘supposedly dead ducal heir of the Tribes’ he said, and tried to gain support for a bid for the ducal seat.” Hiccup remembered having heard that, still recovering with the crude bandage around his leg; he hadn’t known whether to laugh or to weep. “He lasted about two months. Now the opportunist’s head is on a spear on Berk.” He gave Tuff a glare that made the man shrink down in his seat. Yeah, one does not mess with the Tribes…

“We’ve heard about that,” Dagur muttered into the silence that followed. “It was then when we realised that you had to be dead for real, even though only the bodies of your father and brother could be identified without a doubt.” He threw a worried look at Eret, who nodded.

“Yeah, that was a dark day. Although… I thought the Tribes reacted that strongly because someone dared to use the name Haddock to gain power, as some form of paying tribute to their former High Chief. But I guess that wasn’t all that was about then?”

With a pained grimace, Hiccup shook his head. “The Elders made it clear that, if I ever showed up again and tried to regain power in their domain without their consent, they would not show mercy again. Not toward me and not to whoever would be with me or supported me.” Swallowing, he glanced at Astrid next to him. “So trust me when I say that House Haddock is worth nothing, not anymore, and there’s no realistic way to change that.” He hoped this would be enough to let this particular topic drop, but he should have known better.

“No realistic way?” Eret asked, his voice quiet but serious. Apparently, he still hadn’t given up on this idea.

With a deep sigh, Hiccup closed his eyes. “If I could prove that I had nothing to do with my family’s death – mainly my father’s – then they might be willing to lend an ear to my claim; probably not to become High Chief and Grand Duke, but maybe for some form of compensation. But patricide is one of the severest crimes among the Tribes, and even a sneaking suspicion was enough for them to distrust me. And I can’t even demand a fair trial. I’m not young enough to be under their protection as a minor, but since I failed my initiation I’m not a tribesman either, not legally. Under normal circumstances, I would’ve been allowed to try again or prove my worth in another way, but with the attack happening so soon afterwards…”

He trailed off, consumed by the pictures rising in his mind. The burned remains of his home. The flames and the heat. The pain and the loss. The accusations. With Astrid in his arms and the prospect of their shared future – no matter how insecure it was at this point – the memories had lost some of their bite, but they still stung. If only things had gone differently that day…

“I can see the dilemma,” Eret, who was at least a little familiar with the way of the Tribes, muttered. “That’s why you tried so desperately to find information about the attack.”

Hiccup nodded. “But it’s been futile. I literally found nothing, nothing in over two years. Whoever was behind it was incredibly careful. They left no trail at all, no witnesses. It almost looks like it might have been an accident after all – except that that makes even less sense.”

“So the North is not an option,” Dagur summed it up, closing this topic to Hiccup’s utmost relief.

Eret nodded in agreement. “Yeah. I’d thought that might be the easiest solution, but apparently, it’s not. Now I get why you thought there wouldn’t be a way. But I’m sure there is one, somehow. Let’s see…”

. o O o .

For nearly two hours, they threw ideas and suggestions around, but without getting anywhere. It was just as Hiccup had feared: none of their friends was able to think of something he hadn’t thought about already.

However, it was actually good to get it all off his chest, after all, to talk it through without having to hold back. And even though he felt incredibly tired and drained, he also felt lighter. Having support, no matter how little they might be able to actually help, was good.

Astrid had been rather quiet throughout the entire discussion, but that wasn’t really surprising. On more than one occasion, she’d expressed her annoyance about how little she actually knew about politics and the Kingdom in general, so there probably wasn’t much she was able to contribute. Every now and then, she threw in a question, asking for clarification or making a random suggestion, but over time, even those became less frequent.

It took him a while before he noticed why, though. At some point, she had fallen asleep. Hiccup only noticed when he tried to shift into another position and her body, draped halfway across him at that point, had simply followed the motion like dead weight and her only reaction had been a cute little grunt before she drifted back into slumber.

It was something that made him smile despite the rather fruitless discussion, something so light and simple as falling asleep in each other’s arms. Oh, how much he’d missed this! Only last night, he’d lain on this very couch and had despaired over how much he missed her, how he would do everything to get her back, to hold her again. And now, the impossible had happened; she was here, warm and cosy against his side, her head resting on his shoulder. It was a wonderful moment, one he hoped to experience again. Often.

But for now, he knew that he had to end it. Reluctantly, he cleared his throat to draw the others’ attention, then nodded toward her sleeping form. From one second to the other, the room fell silent, soft smiles on everyone’s face.

“I guess that’s our cue then,” Dagur murmured, a crooked smile on his lips as he gazed at his little sister. “Odin knows it’s been a horribly long day anyway.”

Yawning in agreement, everyone rose from their seats. But when Hiccup made attempts to wake Astrid, as carefully as possible, her maidservant stopped him by placing a slim hand on his free shoulder.

“Don’t,” she whispered. “Let her sleep. I haven’t seen her this peaceful in a while and I think she needs this. Needs you,” she added with something between a smile and a smirk. “The night isn’t long enough for us to get enough sleep as it is, so I’d rather she gets at least some restful sleep. I’ll be back before dawn to get her back into her rooms, you’re usual time.” Her words were followed by a mischievous wink, one that made clear she was talking about when Astrid had sneaked back to the castle after their shared nights. It again made him wonder just how much the twins knew, but this certainly wasn’t the time to ask.

And it didn’t really matter anyway.

With a nod and a grateful smile, Hiccup shifted until both he and Astrid lay on their sides, her head resting on his arm and his free hand lightly wrapped around her back. The couch certainly wasn’t as comfortable as a real bed and even in his sleeping stall in the stables they’d had more space, but it was still luxurious and wide enough to easily hold them now. It wasn’t as if he wanted to leave much space between him and her anyway.

Behind him, he could hear Eret and the others move and whisper, probably putting the chairs back into their places and discussing how and when to meet again. But Hiccup didn’t pay them any attention. With his body shielding Astrid from the noise and the faint light, he simply watched her sleep and got entirely lost in her features. Ruff was right; she looked incredibly peaceful, relaxed with a small smile on her lips. Hiccup couldn’t help but smile as well as he fished for the blanket folded somewhere above their heads and then covered them both, encasing them in their own little bubble.

Before he could truly settle for something like sleep though, someone clearing their throat behind him drew his attention again. Carefully so as to not wake her, he turned his head and found Eret standing a few steps away. With a somewhat tense expression, he waved him over, indicating him to follow into the other room.

Hiccup suppressed a sigh but worked his way out their little nest nonetheless. There were things he and Eret had to talk about, things that were nobody else’s business. And yes, it was better to clear those right away instead of waiting any longer, but that didn’t change how much Hiccup dreaded this conversation. In the doorway, he turned to throw another look at Astrid though, warmth spreading from his heart through his chest. She was worth everything.

Eret was already waiting for him, leaning against the desk and with his arms crossed in front of him. As expected, the room was otherwise empty, everyone else having left by now. Hiccup made a step inside, then closed the door behind him, unsure whether to wait for Eret to start or do so himself. He didn’t get any time to ponder though.

“I’m sorry,” Eret began, direct and straightforward.

It made Hiccup’s mouth clamp shut as he fought to keep the beast that were his feelings for his cousin contained. There was just too much right now, everything jumbled together.

“I know that I should have said something sooner. I knew that something was up with you two.”

“You tried,” Hiccup muttered without knowing how to really feel. The truth was that learning about how Eret had known about their feelings – or however else he called it – and hadn’t done or said anything to help them had left marks in their friendship, and he couldn’t say yet of what kind they were.

But Eret just shook his head. “I didn’t try hard enough. I knew how miserable she was and that you were hardly any better off. I feel horrible and keep asking myself how much pain I could have spared you if only I’d made you talk to me. It’s all just–”

“It’s okay,” Hiccup interrupted him, even as he had to avert his gaze. He knew the truth of the matter, knew that Eret wasn’t to blame, not really. But a part of him wanted to blame him, for everything. And it was this part of himself he had to fight now. “We’re not your responsibility. It was me who gave up too soon, who pushed her away and hurt her. And… well, as painful as these two weeks were… I think we needed them. I needed to feel the weight of that loss, if only to know what I’m fighting for. You heard what she said, and the same is true for me, too. I can’t live without her. I know that now...”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Eret muttered. “Even though I don’t really understand it.”

Chuckling, Hiccup lifted his head to give his cousin a strained smile. “Let’s just say: It’s complicated!”

Eret snorted. “Isn’t it always complicated?”

Hiccup’s lips twitched, but he didn’t comment further on this topic. He didn’t feel like explaining the whole soulmate bond again, didn’t want it to be played down just like Cami had only yesterday. And there were enough others, after all, enough other beasts to battle. So instead, he gave a heavy sigh and said, “I’m sorry too, by the way.”

“For what?” Eret seemed truly puzzled now.

Hiccup shrugged, inwardly steeling himself. “For stealing your bride. I know how many hopes you’ve put on your future with her.”

“Ah, that.” Eret’s smile turned sad. “Well, she never really was my bride to begin with, was she?” Chuckling, he shook his head. “This whole betrothal… I have to admit that, yes, I’ve been looking forward to this relatively easy solution for my problem. But I never should have let her go that far. She wasn’t happy with this arrangement, and I knew that it was because she wanted you. I thought that… that she surely knew what she was doing, that you’d broken up, maybe that it’s just been some silly infatuation anyway. I’d thought that we could help and support each other, that I could cheer her up again. But I should have known better. I should have known her better!”

Gulping, Hiccup clenched his hands into fists, hoping that Eret wouldn’t notice. “There’s no point in you blaming yourself for this,” he said as steadily as he could muster. Damn yes, the thought of her marrying Eret had hurt like barely anything else. But he couldn’t let Eret see that, couldn’t let that beast of stupid jealousy and hurt loose. It was unfounded anyway, wasn’t Eret’s fault. “Logically, her marrying you would be the most prudent solution, even now. I have to believe that there is a way for us to be together or I’d go insane – but you’ve just seen how hopeless it is. And if I hadn’t stumbled into her life like this, then I know that you and she could be happy together. Which is all I want for her.”

Now, it was on Eret to give him a strained smile. “Welcome to the club.” Then he sighed. “It’s all a mess, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is,” Hiccup agreed. However, he found that, inside, the jumbled mess of emotions was calming down. Because everything he’d told Eret was true. He wasn’t angry at him, not really. Eret was just as much a pawn in the Gods’ games as he and Astrid were – maybe even more so. “But we’re good, I’d say. We all should have said something so we’re all to blame at least a little. But now, all that doesn’t matter anymore anyway. We’re good.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Eret said, nodding. “But now that we’ve cleared that… there’s one other point I need to know. Not… Not for myself, but… Odin, she really is like a sister to me. And Daniel explicitly left her in my care, so…” He hesitated, but then turned even more serious than before. “What was it Ruff and Tuff were referring to earlier? About her sneaking out of the castle and to the stables, about the noises Tuff overheard. The truth, Hiccup. You owe me that much.”

Hiccup bit his lip and turned away from Eret. He still didn’t want to talk about this, but he had a point. As her brother, he had a right to be worried. “You know what they meant,” he said in a low voice, the memory of those wonderful nights with her heavy on his mind. “Yes, she spent nearly every night with me at the stables. And yes, we did more than just peacefully sleep side by side. But… there was no penetration of any kind, she’s still untouched in the way that matters – which is what you’re concerned about, I assume. I’m not that stupid. Besides, if I’d gone that far, Cami would’ve skinned me alive,” he added with a weak laugh.

“Cami knows?”

At his surprised exclamation, Hiccup threw Eret a sheepish look. “She does. Although, until yesterday, even she didn’t know who. Just that I was meeting someone; I asked for her advice on more than one occasion, so...”

“I see,” Eret replied as Hiccup trailed off, his lips twitching. “Well, I’d say that’s going to be a fun conversation the next time we meet her – whenever that’ll be.” He sighed. “Either way, that’s enough reassurance for me. And… well, I didn’t really expect you to do more. I just had to make sure, you know?”

Grimacing, Hiccup nodded. “Yeah, I get that. I… I probably would have done the same.” If my sister would still be alive, he added mentally but suppressed that thought directly.

“Good. Then I don’t need to emphasise that it had better stay that way now, too. It’s complicated enough as it is, even without adding an unplanned pregnancy.”

At that, Hiccup laughed, though without any humour. “Don’t worry. I’ve learned my lesson.” He hadn’t forgotten, after all. He didn’t know what the Gods’ plan was, but the timing of their separation was still too precise to be a coincidence. He wouldn’t risk getting parted from her again just for a little intimacy. There was too much at stake. However, he didn’t explain himself at Eret’s questioning look, just shook his head and asked, “Is there anything else?”

“No, I guess not. So yeah, it’s time to at least get a little bit of rest. Sleep well, Hiccup.”

“Thanks. You, too.”

Once back in the other room, Hiccup quickly slipped under his cover again, and couldn’t help the soft sigh at taking her back into his arms. Gods, how much he’d missed this! Just her weight and her warmth, her soft breathing and familiar scent. Just being that close to her again and, hopefully, never having to truly part.

“Hiccup?” came her sleepy voice, barely more than a sigh. She didn’t even open her eyes, just shifted a bit at his movement.

“I’m here, Milady,” he whispered back, and brushed his lips over her forehead. “Now sleep.”

Humming, she complied, and not even a minute later, she lay still and quiet again, the soft smile still on her lips. The sight made him smile too as he settled comfortably at her side.

However, he also couldn’t completely smother the tiny flickers of doubt in the back of his mind. He remembered the words of the Goddess, about how there was always hope and about how he only needed to do what came naturally, only needed to do the Gods’ work to get his reward.

But what did that even mean?

So far, everything he’d done had come naturally to him, hadn’t it? It had all felt like the right decision, at that moment at least. And even though things had turned a little brighter now, it could still all go wrong again at any moment. There still was not even the slightest hope for a solution…

Well, pondering about it now wouldn’t get him anywhere. He would have to wait and see what the following days would bring them, whether he, Astrid, or one of their new supporters would come up with some new ideas or whether, through some miracle, another path would reveal itself to them.

Now, all he could do was enjoy the moment, enjoy being reunited with her when he hadn’t thought that to ever happen again. He was incredibly tired after this endless day of emotional turmoil with the ball and the ride and after the previous night where he also hadn’t slept all that much.

But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to get the rest he needed. He didn’t want to fall asleep, to close his eyes. All he wanted was to watch her sleep, smiling in her dreams, and not miss a single moment of the time they had.

. o O o .

So, that was that... The situation really doesn't look good, does it?

And to everyone who keeps insisting Hiccup and Astrid should just run away and don't care about anything else... here's what my co-writer/alpha-reader athingofvikings has to say on that matter:

There are several issues /which have been brought up already in the fic/, but to emphasize them: Yes, they could run away. But they are in the center of the kingdom, and they are two people. So the next morning-or two mornings, if Ruff and Tuff manage to lie their asses off that the Princess is 'indisposed' (which would probably get them executed when it comes to light)-Astrid is discovered to be missing. Now, a horse with a rider can make about 15 km/hour (10 mph, for the Americans in the audience) if you're not running at a flat out gallop (which quickly exhausts the horse).

So lets say they get 100 km away on the road with that head start. So that next morning, when they realize she's missing, /and so is Eret III's squire/, along with two horses, the King asks Eret II to borrow ALL his horses to mount a search party for the kidnappers. And Eret II, his house looking at dishonor and arguably a /treason/ charge, not only says yes, but offers to lead the search. And /they/ don't care about exhausting their horses; they'll bring spare horses to swap out when the first gets tired, so they'll be going twice as fast, if not faster. Bounties get posted, and everyone knows that the Princess is out there. And while Hiccup and Astrid don't know this, the conspirators would /leap/ on the chance to do a bit of bride abduction, and send out their own search parties. So where do they go? Any village will note that a man and a woman on /fine horses/ came through just yesterday, and if they avoid the villages, that slows them down even more and makes it easier for their pursuers to follow them. And once they get caught, Hiccup would have to /hope/ that he's just hung from Odin's Tree.

But let's say that, through some miracle, they manage to escape the search parties. Then what? They can't really settle down; they'd have to flee the country or risk recognition, and if someone else figured out who they were, then Hiccup would be killed and Astrid ransomed back.

And that's just the practical aspects, even before getting into the fact that Astrid and Hiccup have a sense of duty to their stations, and wouldn't just abandon them. But those practical aspects have already been addressed by Hiccup, and barring a change in circumstance or situation, they're stuck. Right now, Astrid is in a gilded cage, and while the bars aren't necessarily visible, they /will/ run into them if they try to fly to freedom.

Next chapter

#FTLOAP #For The Love Of A Princess #Hiccstrid #fanfiction #hiccstrid fanfiction #Hiccup and Astrid #httyd #romance #Angst #Friendship #Fluff #royalty au #hiccstrid royal au #Hiccstrid Medieval AU #medieval au

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bloodymisanthropist · 6 years ago

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Semi-Kuroshitsuji related ask

Feel free to answer any of them. Tag anybody/nobody.

I was tagged by no one.

Regarding Kuroshitsuji…

- How did you find/get into Kuro?

A girl who was in my choir class introduced me to the show and we watched the first episode on her phone. It hadn’t entirely captured my interest at first, until a year or so later one of my Facebook friends shared this amazing gif by madelizabeth;

- What’s your fav/least fave arc or chapter? Why?

I’m not entirely sure what my least favourite chapter is - I have yet to finish the manga, although if I had to pick I suppose I’d say the Easter arc was my least favourite. The storyline just felt a bit forced for me. As of now, my favourite arc I would have to say is the Weston College arc - given the obvious inspiration from Harry Potter, the petty drama, and, seeing as I share the same sense of humour as a 12 year old, there are too many jokes to be made with the word ‘fag.’ And who doesn’t love Sebastian in a position of authority?

- Favorite/least favorite characters?

I consider Ciel and Sebastian to be one unit - they are my 2 favourite characters.

My least favourite character would probably be Ronald - however, it doesn’t stem from a dislike of him, his character simply doesn’t interest me. However I am open to the possibility of his character evolving as the story progresses.

- Favorite piece of art created by Yana Toboso?

I honestly don’t know if I could pick one above all - however, this is one of my favourite pieces;

- How do you think Kuro will end?

I honestly have no idea. I try not to entertain the possibilities too much, as I loathe the thought of having to see it end. I have an idea of how I’d like it to end, although I’m trying not to set myself up for disappointment.

- Manga/anime/musical/etc. Which is your favorite?

I can’t say I’m informed enough to formulate an opinion, again, seeing as I have yet to catch up on the manga. However, as far as the latest adaptations of the Book of Circus/Murder/Atlantic arcs go I’d have to say I liked the anime better - simply because I find them more engaging and easier to follow.

- What would you love to see Kuro do a crossover with?

I had always wondered what it would be like if they were to do a crossover with Penny Dreadful.

- General thoughts/feelings about Kuroshitsuji.

I have endless amounts of respect for Yana Toboso. In my opinion, Kuroshitsuji is the most revolutionary story of all time.

Regarding the fandom…

- How long have you been apart of the fandom?

Almost 3 years now.

- Has it been a worthwhile or regrettable experience? Why?

I wouldn’t trade it for the world - while it hasn’t all been perfect, and can be emotionally taxing at times, it helped to influence my own personal growth, and helps fill my days.

- Best experience so far?

All I can say is that it’s helped to bring my current friends and I together, and for that I’m grateful.

- Things you wish there was more of in the fandom?

Interesting - I’d have to say I wish there was more objectivity, and more of a tolerance to let people enjoy things so long as they aren’t hurting others.

- General thoughts/feelings about the fandom.

There are a few special gems hidden here and there, but only after filtering out so much bullshit.

.- What about Kuro inspires you the most?

To quote @t-stray , seeing as I couldn’t have said it better myself: “The aesthetic of transgression of established morality and status quo- Contemplating that a society and its morals are much more than black and white and go beyond what meets the eye.”

- Who are your OTPs/nOTPs? Other noteable pairings?

Sebaciel is my otp. I also support Grelliam and Grell/Ronald. I appreciate Ciel and Lizzy’s relationship, but only see them in a platonic light - anything more is a no from me.

- What’s your favorite AU?

Again, it’s impossible to pick, but I would say this is up there; https://archiveofourown.org/works/6939424

- Do you have an AU? Tell us about it!

No, although I would like to see a riveting Kuroshitsuji/Red Riding Hood adaptation.

- Which character do you relate to most? Why?

I relate to Ciel the most. He doesn’t care about being “good,” he simply desires revenge and isn’t ashamed to admit it. He’s built a hard shell around himself as a result of his trauma, and is incredible at internalizing and compartmentalizing his emotions. He will go to the ends of the earth, and sometimes hurt those he cares about, in the process of working towards his goals. All of this I resonate with.

- What are you working on now?

I’ve been wanting to complete a passion project that has been in the works for a while now - I’d like to become confident enough in my editing to start a Kuroshitsuji-themed MEP-reminiscent music video channel.

- If you’re a digital artist, which programs do you use?

Paint Tool Sai and Photoshop.

More fun non-Kuro things….

- What’s the story behind your url?

I never want to be forgotten by the people in my life, past and present. Even if our relationship should have a bitter end, I want them to forever hold on to our memories.

- Any pets? Pics pls?

My dog Mishka;

My cats, Samhain and Isis (named after the Egyptian goddess, not a fucking terrorist organisation - I’ve been forced to make this clarification before);

And my cockatiel, Shanti;

- Favorite drink?

Hot chocolate and coffee.

- Music that defines you?

Industrial/trap/gothic music. I’ve been listening to a lot of Emilie Autumn lately.

- Piece of media that influenced/changed your life?

Kuroshitsuji and Life is Strange.

- What was the last thing to make you laugh?

One of Onision’s god-awful music videos. I won’t link it as he doesn’t deserve the free press.

- An image that could best depict your present self.

- A dream you had recently.

I had a dream that I was being interviewed to get into a prestigious high school by Cole Sprouse.

- List 3 things you love about yourself!

My inability to let shit go

My ambition

My completionist and perfectionistic streak.

- What’s something you could talk about for hours?

My traumatic past and why I’m a nihilist.

I tag whoever the hell feels like doing this.

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #personal #ask

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solrosan · 6 years ago

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Snowflake Challenge – Day 2

I’m doing the @snowflakechallenge on DW to get into posting. I won’t share all of the posts here, but fic recs are always fun! So here, have them!

Day 2 -- Rec at least three fanworks that you didn’t create.

Let's see...

By His Dirty Hands We Know Him by @anarfea (BBC Sherlock, M/M, Mature, Graphic Description of Violence, Completed)

Mycroft and Greg are getting serious, and Greg is starting to ask serious questions about the difficult and sometimes unethical decisions Mycroft has made. Mycroft breaks things off before Greg can find out the darkest secret in his past--which is about to catch up to him.

This is a really good, believable backstory for Mycroft and about what he did before he became the enigmatic character we see on the show. Anarfea has done a great job tying this to real events happening during The Troubles and show the... darker grey areas of what a someone in Mycroft's position would most likely have to deal with. I love the research she's done for this fic and I'll admit she had me hooked on the Author's Note alone, but even if you're not (like me) a sucker for fics with proper ties to real life events, this is an amazing fic. Her Lady Smallwood is fantastic and the ending is rare for fanfics, but it's executed so well. Then, if you after reading the fic is interested in the actual event, she provides links to the research material in the end! (Seriously, what more can you want?)

The Ink On Our Skin Stains Us Black by insanereddragon (Kingsman, M/M/M, Mature, No Warning Apply, WIP)

Eggsy tapped his pencil a couple of times on the sketchbook, eyes unfocused as he thought. Looking up, he caught and held Harry's eyes. “Do you trust me?”

Harry looked back at Eggsy and a snap of electricity seemed to spark between them. “Yes,” he replied without hesitation.

From his chair next to Harry, Merlin raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Harry didn’t trust people. Life as a spy had ingrained in him a general distrust of most things. When someone did gain his trust, it was never fast, never with so much genuine emotion bleeding through. There was more lingering there under the surface, more than just Harry trusting Eggsy to come up with the right design. At the thought, Merlin felt a warmth in his chest he had not been expecting.

-–

The tattoo!au where Merlin and Harry are a couple, Eggsy becomes Merlin’s new tattoo artist, and the boys all refuse to talk to each other about the attraction that grows between them.

I like this fic so much that I can't properly tell you how much I do. I might also have a problem understanding exactly why this went straight to my heart the way it did, but it did and now it's there and it will never leave me. (When rereading this before posting I realise that I probably should point out that all of this is a good thing!) It ticks a lot of my boxes, though! Tattoo!AU, check. Polyship, check. Established relationship, check. Slowburn, check. It's a WIP, but is a ride worth being on! It's not a complete civilian AU, Merlin and Harry are both still in Kingsman in the roles they hold in the movies. (Or movie, the fic started when there was no TGC so the second movie is irrelevant.) Red does a wonderful with the world building and pulling you in by photos, maps and additional info in the notes at the end of almost every chapter. Also: concealer. If you read it, you'll understand!

[Fandom stats] Gender representation in movies vs. movie fanworks by @destinationtoast

There are a lot of discussions in fandom about gender representation in fanworks, and whether fandom is shortchanging female characters. Over the last several years, I’ve seen various debates and wondered about the underlying numbers. So I went and found some… and then got slightly obsessed analyzing them.

These analyses is not going to be able to address some kinds of questions, many of which can’t be answered with numbers. But I hope to answer some questions, and add more data and new nuances to discussions.

Ending a bit different, but Toast so much work into what she does and deserves all the cred! (Also, since this is a multi-fandom event I thought everyone could find this interesting.) The name of the work and Toast's own summary explains pretty well what this is, this is an attempt to look at and answer the question about gender representation in movies vs. fanworks of those movies. It's about 80 slides + explanatory text about statistics divided into 7 chapters on AO3 but please, please, pleeeeease don't let that scare you. This is so good and well presented. And as I said, the work put into this is mind blowing. If you want to start with something smaller or you get interested and want to read more, Toast has made almost 90 of these! (And I know that some of these analysis are linked from Wikipedia. Just saying.) Go! Read! Marvel in what you can show with numbers!

Bonus: The Silmarillion Rewrite by jenavira

The Silmarillion

Translated from the Elvish by Professor J.R.R. Tolkien

Translated from Professor Tolkien's Handwriting by Christopher Tolkien

Translated Lovingly from the Tokienish by jenavira

Again, exactly what it says it is: a rewrite of The Silmarillion for all of us who don't really feel up to rereading (or reading for the first time) Tolkien's English translation. I'm half-way through and forever grateful.

Also, because can't make a rec list without mentioning:

Bandit Queen by lbmisscharlie (BBC Sherlock, F/M, Teen, Choose Not To Use Warnings, Complete)

She works for them – with them – both, and they each offer her countless opportunities. For Jim, she’s a gunhand and something like a friend, for Mycroft, she’s a brain, a processor, and occasionally a useful pretty face. This arrangement works fine until Jim has to go and do something stupid.

I'm going to rec this fic until I'm absolute sure everyone in the Sherlock fandom (+ some more people) have read this. It's post series 1, it's Anthea (or you know, not!Anthea) and the last line of this fic is the best last line I've seen. Ever. It's... perfect. Read it.

#fic recs

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averyonelovesjack · 7 years ago

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i don’t (V) ~ daniel seavey

requested: @phcnekisses

summary: the story of y/n and daniel isn’t quite finished as y/n doesn’t want to give up just yet, appearing at his window.

warning(s): nada my dudes

word count: 2021

author’s note: alright, so this is the final part of this series. i’ve absolutely loved writing this series and am so glad that it has been so requested to continue. i hope that you all enjoy this ending and the way this story has gone. thank you all so much for 500 followers, i know i’ve said it a lot and i don’t in any way want to sound like i’m gloating or whatever about it, i just am so so so so thankful and grateful and shocked that this happened. i really want you all to enjoy because this is truly the kindest fandom i’ve been in.

SHOUTOUT TIME: ok so this is a MAJOR shoutout to @phcnekisses who is so beyond creative. she has directed every single part of this story, even making me excited to hear what idea she has next for this mini series. it is absolutely insane to hear all of the crazy and perfect ideas she has for this story. please go follow she deserves it:)))

read these first:

part I, part II, part III, part IV

Daniel’s cold body stuck to the floor, his tears gluing him down as he let them fall from his cheeks to his hands to his wooden floor, staining it carefully. His back tensed against the end of his bed, his knees pushing into his chest. Everything beside him fell apart, crushing his body into the floor.

His thoughts consisted entirely of every mistake he’d made in the past week. He’d so easily let the girl he loved dearly get away from him, and he couldn’t even let her hate him. Every pain she felt would be worse because each time he gave her hope, he broke her down further and she’d still loved him with everything in her.

Was there anything Daniel could ever do to regain y/n? He’d done everything in his power to destroy her, and it wasn’t purposeful. He just dragged her into his mess of a life and caused harm by it.

Through his loud sobs, a soft knock came from the door. Daniel didn’t answer, remaining as quiet as possible but inevitably failing through his loud wails. The knock was harder this time, and Daniel closed his mouth, just chokes leaving when his older brother’s voice came through the wooden door.

“daniel, open the door,”

No response.

“buddy, come on. it’s bam bam,” The older boy tried to make his broken little brother laugh, but nothing happened, “daniel, open the fucking door”

There was nothing Daniel could say, nothing he could think of. He didn’t need the company, the pity. It was hard for him to show this sad side of himself, and to his older brother, he wouldn’t do it, “i just need to be alone, go away”

“i was really rooting for you guys,” Tyler’s voice rang through the door, anger hidden among it, “could’ve redefined the meaning of love. just another thing mom and dad had to go and ruin”

Daniel jumped from his little spot on the floor as a loud noise came, the door shaking in its place as a tiny yelp of pain came from outside. A frustrated Tyler left the door, his hand aching from the release of anger he’d just given the door of his brother.

The heartbroken boy sat tiredly on his floor, only mute sobs escaping his lips as he tried his best to convince himself it wasn’t over, but couldn’t seem to. For him, the whole world seemed to be over. like his life couldn’t move on after losing y/n.

Daniel’s body gave up as he looked towards his phone, recognizing that it was Jack who was calling him now. He didn’t want to answer, he wanted them to leave him alone, to stop thinking about him but he knew they wouldn’t. His nimble and pruned fingers picked up the phone, opening it carefully to answer the messages when his heart shattered in its entirety at the image of the beautiful girl set as his lock screen.

His body struggled to function as his arm chucked the phone towards the wall, hearing it shatter and crack all over the floor, louder cries leaving his mouth now.

Beside him Daniel heard music. It wasn’t just music, it was music he knew. As much as he tried to ignore the music, assuming it was from a noisy neighbor, nothing in him could. He wanted to resume his thoughts, to drown the entire world out with the fact that he’d ruined the best thing he ever had.

“well i found a girl, beautiful and sweet,” Daniel listened closer to the song now, everything inside of him breaking at the idea that he once too could relate to the song playing outside, Perfect by Ed Sheeran, “I never knew you were the someone waiting for me”

His heart sank in sadness, but grew in anger as he stood up, his emotions getting the best of him. He wanted to scream. To shout, and yell, and curse, and fight. He wanted to hurt whoever had decided to be an asshole and stand outside his window with music, music that hurt every cell inside of him. Everything in him wanted to scream at the person standing all too close to his house.

As he reached the window, opening it harshly, the music grew louder and the boy looked down at the ground, his mouth open for fire. Daniel stopped, recognizing the beautiful girl in the new and short white dress that he hadn’t seen before. Upon her head sat a white veil, one he did recognize, and in her arms were a beautiful set of red roses that made his heart pump harder.

“i’m not quite done with you yet, seavey,” Y/n’s melodic voice said from below him, louder than usual to make sure he’d heard her clearly.

“what do you want?” his heart was heavy and his voice sad as he spoke.

“to talk. give me five minutes, please,” She explained, giving him every reason she could without giving it all away.

Daniel sighed, trying his best not to cry as he trudged his way down the stairs. He found his shoes, pulling his feet into them and walking out towards the side of his house.

In front of him, Daniel saw his family. His mother, his father, Tyler, Chris, and Anna, all standing to the left of y/n. A smile appeared on her teary eyed face as she handed her flowers to Anna, who took them gratefully.

**pov change**

I watched as Daniel walked towards me, confusion visible on his face when he saw the members of his family standing beside me. I looked at him through my glossy eyes, his body standing sadly in front of mine.

All of a sudden, my hand came up, striking the left side of his face roughly as he woke up a little bit. My voice was tough and growled, “that’s for leaving me,” He stood shocked, but i wasn’t finished. My flat palm struck his right cheek next, “and that one’s for telling me our love isn’t strong enough,” My arms came out straight, my hands reaching either side of his shoulder and pushing him backwards next, “that’s for thinking i’d ever leave you”

Daniel looked towards his parents, his hands finding their way towards his cheeks as he tried to find some direction. In this moment, i took a leap of faith and bent down onto my one knee. My, whoever he was now, looked at me with fear in his eyes as i let out a deep breath.

“daniel james seavey, when i agreed to marry you, i wasn’t just agreeing to being yours forever. i was agreeing to everything. i was agreeing to be with you in sickness and in health. i was agreeing to be with you through thick and thin, through our highs and lows. i agreed to accept your flaws, imperfections, mistakes and failures. i agreed to supporting you through your career, until you grow old. Until we grow old together. I understand that you were hurt by what your parents have decided to do, and yes, people can and will fall out of love. But that doesn’t mean you need to be afraid. Your mom and dad may be parting, but after so, so many memories were made. After they had a lifetime of experiences and happy times together. And we aren’t them. We’re Daniel and y/n. We’ve argued, and we will argue. We may have fallen out through disagreements, but here we are today. And today, i am promising you to never do anything to tear us apart,” I paused, tears welling in my eyes as he stood in front of me with his own formation glossiness behind his eyes, “So, Daniel James Seavey, will you please do me the honor of putting your faith in our relationship, pushing aside your fears, and marrying me?”

Behind my back I pulled out the small silver ring that had formerly been dropped in my hand, just hours prior. Between my fingers I showed him the ring that had formerly been mine to give him on our wedding day. Daniel’s eyes widened, staring deeply into mine with content and love.

Daniel’s eyes shifted towards his family. His sister had tears in her eyes, a smile printed upon her face. Each Chris and Tyler were smiling widely at their younger brother, excited for his response. And his parents, well, they stared at each other in anticipation. His eyes stared at his parents a little longer, as if he had been thinking about everything with them.

His mother took special notice to this and spoke next, “daniel, sweetie, please don’t think about us. You deserve the world, and y/n is standing here and giving it to you. For heaven’s sake, stop worrying about the future. Look at your present and say yes”

Daniel stares down at me, his eyes pouring deeply into mine as my knee ached in pain. I looked up at him a little longer before stating, “the grass isn’t the comfiest thing to kneel on, so if we could speed this up a little bit, it would be much appreciated”

A tiny laugh escaped Daniel’s lips as he looked deeply at me, his words spilling out of his mouth, “y/n y/m/n y/l/n, yes, i will marry you“

My body leaped up and into his warm arms. He was slightly taken aback, but more than happy to hold me in them again. I took in the scent of his shirt, smiling gratefully at him as i heard the cheers beside us. Daniel’s hands rubbed my back soothingly, calming my pounding heart as my body pulsed at the events of the day.

The cheering quieted and a little gasp escaped Anna’s mouth as my fiance and i turned to see what might have happened. My eyes gazed towards Jeffrey on one knee in front of Keri. I remained in Daniel’s arms as my fingers reached my mouth, excitement squirming through my veins.

I looked at the beautiful two people in front of us, listening carefully to Jeffrey’s words, “keri, we haven’t been the best towards each other in this past few months,” He started and i looked up at Danny, smiling as he watched his two parents, “but seeing this, with everything inside of my heart, i regret it. if the love between daniel and y/n is this strong, our love is even stronger. will you do me the honor of rejecting this divorce and choosing to stay with me?”

Tears welled in my eyes again as a wider smile appeared on my face. My head rested in Daniel’s chest, my heart swelling as I looked to see my future mother-in-law’s answer. The happiest look appeared on each of our faces as Keri let an excited tone reach her voice, “yes!” Jeffrey stood up and the married couple pecked each other’s lips, Keri quickly stating, “i love you”

“i love you too,” Jeffrey gave her a smile and I looked up to see my fiance staring at me with an adorable look.

“i love you,” his voice was quiet, so that only i could hear him over the loud roars and cheers of the family celebrating the rejecting of their parents split.

“i love you more,” i kissed his soft lips next, the spark that i’d always loved being sent through my veins and giving me the electricity i craved.

“I love you most,” I gave him a smile with his adorable words and he pulled me closer to him before the child inside of him comes out, “i think this calls for a group hug”

Giggles left my mouth as Tyler groans, “you are such a kid!”

“i think it does,” Keri gives her son a smile and the whole family piles it in, my body engorged in Danny’s.

Our laughs and cries settled down as the adorable little voice of Daniel echoed through my ear, “your family is going to murder me”

I giggled a little bit, as did Daniel’s family, “yes, probably”

#daniel seavey #jack avery #jonah marais #corbyn besson #zach herron #daniel seavey imagine #why don't we #wdw #imagines #imagine #fanfic #i don't #mini-series

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00qad-ldws · 7 years ago

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Week 1 Submissions

Below the cut are Week 1 submissions. The prompt was “Space”, the word count was 250 max and the genre was fluff.

Voting and comments will be open until Sunday 6/18 Noon EST.

Please vote here.

These writers stepped up to the challenge and provided some awesome content for the fandom to enjoy. Please consider commenting on the voting form. It’s an easy anonymous way to show some love and support to our writers!

Results and writers will be announced Sunday after voting is closed and comments will be emailed to the writers as well.

Title: The Final Frontier

Author: @brookebond

Rating: General

Warnings: None

Summary: Q shares his favourite show with the others.

“You actually enjoy watching this?” Bond asked, shooting Alex an incredulous look.

“It’s not too bad.” Alex shrugged.

“He’s in space and all he ever drinks is Earl Grey, hot.” Bond’s words making it seem as though hot tea was the worst thing in the world.

“And the whole ‘make it so’,” Danny joined in, happy to make fun of Q’s favourite character.

“If I hear one more bad word about Picard, I will erase you all,” Q cut in. It had been his idea to treat everyone to his favourite show. It hadn’t been his idea to start pointing out everything ridiculous thing. “Honestly, James, you know where the door is.”

“Don’t be like that.” Bond pulled Q tighter against him, pressing a kiss to his head.

“This is the last time I share anything with you lot,” Q huffed.

Every weekend they all watched something. Whether it was a movie or show, the four of them spent their Sunday’s together curled up on the couch. It was Q’s favourite day of the week, even if he was being ganged up on.

“I like it,” Alex said, smiling at Q when he looked over.

“Alex can stay. You other two can bugger off,” Q muttered, nuzzling into Bond.

“You can pretend you don’t love us, Q, but we know better,” Danny said, crawling over to join the cuddle.

Q smiled softly as Alex joined them as well, pressing Danny and Q between the two agents.

Sunday’s were the best.

Title: Sailing the Night Skies

Author: @themuller13

Rating: general audiences

Warnings: None

Summary: Gramps is on a space mission.

Pam was munching down the tender loins of the bird Turing had brought as a treat for their humans, none of whom had wanted to touch it—go figure—when suddenly a bright light illuminated the night sky above them. Turing rose from his perch on the balcony and watched, while Pam unabatedly continued dismembering the bird making small happy noises.

“That’s about your uncle,” Turing meowed quietly. “Listen!”

They heard their humans talking agitatedly and suddenly they came bursting out onto the balcony. Daddy had his computer with him and his twin pointed excitedly at the sky.

“It’s James, Q, look! He must have taken one of the escape capsules before the explosion!”

“There’s one more,” the virgin said, taking the twin’s hand and turning it towards another bright spot.

“Jaws and Dolly,” Daddy grumbled under his breath, his fingers flying across the keyboard.

Pam was listening, a few feathers still clinging to her fluffy white fur. Turing was weaving in between the virgin’s legs, hoping to be lifted up so he could follow the ongoings on the screen rather than watching the sky. He was always fascinated by Daddy’s way to deal with the bad guys, even when it made Pam angry. Her never faltering belief in world domination was an endless point of discussion between them.

“Found him,” Daddy exclaimed and the twin turned to hug and kiss him, before doing the same to the virgin who blushed adoringly.

Pam’s tail flicked in annoyance.

“One day, Turing, one day!”

Title: Hot Chocolate In June

Author: @sunaddicted

Rating: G

Warnings: mentions of claustrophobia

Summary: sometimes, Alex just needs to get out in the fresh air

Two bodies joined Alex outside and he didn't need to raise his gaze from the sharp line of the horizon to recognise them: Danny let himself gracelessly fall to the ground, while Q carefully lowered himself on the cushioning grass "James?"

"He's making hot chocolate!" Danny answered enthusiastically.

"It's the middle of June" Alex pointed out, raising his arm to to welcome Danny against his side when he snuggled closer.

While his claustrophobia had considerably abated, Alex still needed to get away from enclosed spaces sometimes - away from walls and still air, into an open space where the breeze could caress his face.

Q knew that, judging from the tenderness of his smile hidden behind an impish grin "So what?" Q arched an eyebrow "It's always a good time for hot chocolate"

Alex shook his head fondly and reached over to tangle his fingers with Q's, absurdly grateful for the younger man taking care of him.

"Look at you, all cosy" James chimed in, unloading the tray in Danny's grabby hands before sitting right behind Alex; always mindful of his lover's personal space, James didn't tug him against his chest.

Alex smiled as he let his body relax against James', laughing when the older man cruelly started tickling him "You'll make me spill the chocolate!" He protested even as he leaned in James' warm embrace, closer to those clever fingers: he had never felt so happy, the space around him holding all of his loved ones.

Title: Deafening Silence

Author: @iamanonniemouse

Beta: None, I went rogue

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Summary: Sometimes, when the noise in Alex’s head gets too loud, he has to retreat inside the house until the overstimulation goes away and he can process the outside world again.

Sometimes, when the numbers and patterns and rhythms and noises in Alex’s head get too loud, he has to retreat inside the house, wrapped in his favorite, softest blankets, until the overstimulation goes away, and he can process the outside world again.

The others have learned to recognize his Loud Days, and for that, Alex is grateful.

Bond, James Bond doesn’t know how to stay quiet on the best of days, so he hands Alex a cup of his favorite tea and leaves the house until Q tells him to come back home.

Q sits on the other end of the couch, or at the foot of Alex’s bed, or on the floor by his side and rambles about mathematical series and infinite loops and his newest computer programme. It’s enough to counteract the tangled mess in Alex’s mind, and familiar enough not to overwhelm him, but sometimes even that is too much, so Q simply plops one of his cats onto Alex’s lap and follows Bond, James Bond out the door.

And Danny.

Danny pulls out his favorite book, or queues up his favorite film on his laptop. Danny curls up against Alex’s side, a comforting, quiet warmth. And Danny sits with him, silent but present, as Alex sorts through the information in his own head.

And as the noisiness fades, and the world slips back into its normal calibrations, Danny is there for Alex to lean against, to touch. To anchor him to reality once more.

Title: There Were Four In The Bed

Author: @iambid

Rating: Gen

Warnings: None

Summary: Some nights there’s just not enough space…

There’s never enough space in their bed, despite James somehow managing to buy them the biggest one Q’s ever seen.

Most nights he is woken by James’s elbow or Alex breathing in his face or Danny wriggling like an eel. It drives him nuts when he has to extricate himself from the duvet and three sets of clinging limbs to avoid dying of heatstroke.

But on the nights after the days when everything has gone wrong at work he adores it. He loves the way Danny curls into his chest, his fingers unconsciously drawing circles on Q’s naked skin as he sleeps. Danny doesn’t really understand what Q does for a living, the stress and sometimes terror of being responsible for the lives of the agents in the field, but he knows enough to realise when Q needs comforting. Alex knows and he always finds a way to lie behind Danny and somehow embrace both him and Q at once. And James. James plasters himself up Q’s back, holding him so tight it feels like he’s pressing all the broken parts of Q back together, allowing him to relax and heal and be whole again. Q would be lost without them all. He tells them in the darkness, whispering as he relaxes into their gentle touches.

His whole life is packed into that overcrowded bed and although he never seems to have enough space he wouldn’t swap it for the world.

Title: Making Space

Author: @gwylliondream

Rating: R

Warnings: None

Summary: Alex goes for a run every morning.

A year ago, Alex had no space in his mind for anything but numbers.

Algorithms.

Statistics.

Strings of code.

The morning drizzle saturated his hair. The thuds of his footsteps pounded the sidewalk that followed the Thames.

Statistics.

Probability….

Alex grunted at the thought and came to a stop outside his front door. A year ago, the probability that Alex could have made space in his mind for anything, other than data, was slim.

With hands on his knees, Alex panted while his heartbeat slowed.

When Danny appeared one chilly London dawn, Alex’s world changed forever.

With his gentle eyes and filthy mouth, Danny tugged Alex's thoughts away from his equations, scattering slivers of data to the wind, making space for love.

Behind the front door, yet another sliver splintered away, leaving more space for brain games and programming wars.

Alex teased Q, holding his glasses above his head, making Q stretch his lean body against Alex. They’d collapse into a giggling mess of laughter that erupted from Alex's chest more often in the past year than it had in the lifetime before.

Chipped shards of data fell from Alex’s mind and made even more space for Bond. With the wisdom of age, the experienced agent gave comfort when Alex needed his brand of strength.

Cool sweat dripped down Alex’s back. He barely remembered what it was like to have numbers as his only companion.

Alex opened the door to their flat and stepped inside. His lovers welcomed him home.

Title: Summer in the City

Author: @blood-suits-and-tears

Rating: rated T (because of semi-nakedness and kissing)

Warnings: No warnings

Summary: Just a really hot summer in London

“It’s soo hot…” Q complained even though he was just wearing pants in bed.

James pretended annoyance “If you let me go shower like I wanted ages ago, you would

have more space and would be cooler…”

“Well, for once he’s right” Alex said, standing at the door, towel around his waist, on his way to get dressed.

“We haven’t seen each other for a while” Q still clung onto James and didn’t even think about letting go.

“We all haven’t, but sadly work is calling too”

There was a small noise coming from the other end of the bed, Danny was stirring and almost squished Q as he turned “Hmpf?...”

“Move? You’re all sticky” Q made a face. “...’is the heat” came the sleepy reply from Danny.

James couldn’t hold back a comment “You’re aware that you’re sticky too, dear Q”

“E-ew…” Q now tried to push the others away but failed. James saw his chance to leave the bed, but was held back. “You can come with, you know” James’ cheeky smile was lost on Q as he wasn’t wearing his glasses, but another hand reached out for him. “You too, Danny”

Suddenly awake Danny pushed Q out, so they could go have a cooling shower.

“You too” James pulled Alex with him. “But-“ Alex was shut up by a kiss, so he gave in and they all moved to the bathroom.

“But just for the record, we need more space. We need a bigger bed.”

Title: New Horizons

Author: @lille082

Rating: PG

Warnings: None

Summary: Danny honestly just wants to watch a movie.

Danny had hoped his partners would want to watch the movie too — there was action for James, plenty of outer space for Q and Alex, and some Matt Damon for him. But by the time Q finished explaining solar energetic particles to James and began a discussion with Alex about all of the variables needed to properly calculate oxygen levels to fill a habitat on the surface of Mars, Danny was just about ready to stop the movie and go to bed instead of finishing it.

Feeling how restless Danny was growing sitting on the floor in front of him, James reaches out, carding strong, calloused fingers through his hair. The tension leaves Danny’s shoulders at the touch and as James starts gently massaging his scalp, he's practically purring.

Alex laughs at a comment Q makes about one of the NASA technicians on screen and James shushes them. Q and Alex share a guilty look and settle back into the sofa, quiet for the time being.

James pulls Danny into his lap, startling a bright laugh out of him in the process. Smiles blossom on Q and Alex’s faces at the sound and Danny settles back, getting comfortable. He sighs happily, resting his head on his shoulder, twining their fingers together.

‘I’ll watch it some other time,’ Danny thinks as his eyes grow heavy and he drifts off to the sound of two of his lovers trying to name as many of Jupiter’s moons as possible.

#00qad ldws #00qad #Week 1 Submissions #VOTE #these are amazing #00q #inception #danny x alex #london cry #but its fluff this week

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