#forensic narrative exposure therapy

[weemietime]

I mean this sincerely and not simply to hurt. You are a monster.

With asks like this, I can plainly see that the cruelty is the point. I'm at a place in my journey where things like this don't affect me nearly as much as they used to. There was a period of time where I would have taken such a comment to heart, genuinely. I believed I was an irredeemable monster, because of the actions I took as a child under the command of the adults around me who had forced me into the violent armed group that I was part of.

The reason I am publishing this ask is not to tell you this, it is not to convey to you the depths to which you are demonstrating cruelty by stating these things, but it is for other people. Other people who have perpetration-induced traumatic stress, other people who have been in the forensic/criminal justice system, other people who have been rehabilitated through self-discovery and treatment/therapy.

To those people, I say: we are not monsters. Everyone is a product of the environment that they originate, and their physiological composition. I've spent the past 17 years studying trauma and aggression in an effort to modify my harmful behaviors and to learn empathy, and I have been successful in this endeavor.

We are not monsters. And to take it a step further, I am not a monster. I was a child, an 8 year old kid, who was acting under intense duress at the behest of the adults around him who should have protected him instead of trafficked him to the highest bidder. There is no such thing as an ontologically evil person, but if there were, the person here who may rise to the definition is not me. It is you. I strongly encourage you to take a real inventory of yourself, and examine what prompted you to come here and fling mindless insults like this at a stranger with the pure intention of causing them pain.

[weemietime]

For me I voted yes, because I more or less took the question as "does the person deserve to be considered redeemed" and not "would I personally be fine with their having deliberately chosen to harm others in the past" and it seems that people really don't understand what forgiveness is. It's a big part of my therapy doing Forensic Narrative Exposure. I'm a former violent offender.

I was indoctrinated into a violent organized gang as a kid. I have victims out there, I hurt people, real people. I was in a forensic program for six months as a teenager, and worked with clinicians trained at Romeo Dallaire here in Halifax. Gang violence was the scourge of our city for a long time. One of my old therapists is an ex missionary who went to Rwanda after the genocide to counsel some of the child soldiers there, and he said to me, "have you forgiven your abusers?"

And given his history with the Christianized thing, and also my history with community reintegration observing kids like our peer groups they'd go on outings to church and stuff, it was a cultural thing, the church was a very integral part of their life. So I was wary of that question. And I asked him like what are you defining forgiveness as? Do I accept their behavior? No. Would I be friends with them? No. That wasn't it, either. He struggled to define it as well.

And I also felt that I wouldn't want to impose forgiveness on my victims and expect that they ought to forgive me when that's a personal choice for them as well. Forgiving myself, forgiving my abusers sends a message that I think that should be the default. So you have to be careful, how you mean it. And eventually we settled on, forgiveness isn't about condoning those actions, justifying them, being friends, etc. It's about letting go of the anger and influence that the person has over your life, and to essentially stop giving them the power to continue to affect you like that. And that's separate from justice, too. That's just a personal thing.

And I will be honest within that context my only hope for my victims is that they do not allow my actions to continue to ruin their life and that they let go of resentment and toxic sludge for their own sake but I also cannot prescribe to others what to feel and what is good and bad for them to feel. Maybe their anger gives them power and energy and in that case, of course they're entitled to it (they are either way). It's all about them, forgiveness is personal. It's never about me, the perpetrator.

For what it's worth, I think anyone who is sincere in reforming themselves ought to be given a chance to reintegrate into society. When I was still a teenager the outcomes for kids like me were catastrophic. Crack addiction, prostitution, homelessness, no education, no job, kids they can't take care of, no family because their family rejected them. But twenty years later in Liberia we see those same kids have a strong community as adults. They work. They participate in local activism and politics.

When we learn better, we do better. Hell, look at Joshua Blahyi. Dude got addicted to meth and literally ate babies. Stopped doing meth, and now gives talks at the UN about how wrong war crimes are. So, from my perspective, it depends on how recovered they are. Because some neo Nazis want to stop but still are in the process of unlearning harmful shit. Do you want to be their mentor? That's a big job. I understand distancing yourself. But do they deserve a chance? Absolutely.

If I hadn't gotten that chance I would be dead.

Could you personally forgive someone who had a neo-Nazi “phase” as an adult? Assuming they’re trying to make amends for their past behavior/beliefs

[neurotypicallyalexis]

different types of therapies

accelerated experimental dynamic psychotherapy

acceptance and commitment therapy

Adlerian therapy

animal-assisted therapy

applied behavior analysis

art therapy

attachment-based therapy

bibliotherapy

biofeedback

brain stimulation therapy

Christian Counseling

coaching

cognitive behavioral therapy

cognitive processing therapy

cognitive stimulation therapy

compassion-focused therapy

culturally sensitive therapy

dance therapy

dialectical behavior therapy

eclectic therapy

emotionally focused therapy

equine-assisted therapy

existential therapy

experimental therapy

exposure and response prevention

expressive arts therapy

eye movement desensitzation therapy

family systems therapy

feminist therapy

forensic therapy

gestalt therapy

human givens therapy

hymanistic therapy

hypnotherapy

imago relationship therapy

integrative therapy

internal family systems therapy

interpersonal psychotherapy

jungian therapy

marriage and family therapy

mentalization-based therapy

motivational interviewing

multicultural therapy

music therapy

narrative therapy

neuro-linguistic programming therapy

neurofeedback

parent-child interaction therapy

person-centered therapy

play therapy

positive psychology

prolonged exposure therapy

psychoanalytic therapy

psychodynamic therapyy

psychological testing and evaluation

rational emotive behavior therapy

reality therapy

relational therapy

sandplay therapy

schema therapy

social recovery therapy

solution-focused brief therapy

somatic therapy

strength-based therapy

structural family therapy

the Gottman method

therapeutic intervention

transpersonal therapy

trauma-focused cognitive behavior therapy

[dvdregionseven]

Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Adlerian Therapy, Animal-Assisted Therapy, Applied Behavior Analysis, Art Therapy, Attachment-Based Therapy, Bibliotherapy, Biofeedback, Brain Stimulation Therapy, Christian Counseling, Coaching, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Cognitive Processing Therapy, Cognitive Stimulation Therapy, Compassion-Focused Therapy, Culturally Sensitive Therapy, Dance Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Eclectic Therapy, EMDR, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Equine-Assisted Therapy, Existential Therapy, Experiential Therapy, Exposure and Response Prevention, Expressive Arts Therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy, Family Systems Therapy, Feminist Therapy, Forensic Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, Human Givens Therapy, Humanistic Therapy, Hypnotherapy, Imago Relationship Therapy, Integrative Therapy, Internal Family Systems Therapy, Interpersonal Psychotherapy, Jungian Therapy, Marriage and Family Therapy, Mentalization-Based Therapy, Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Multicultural Therapy, Music Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming Therapy, Neurofeedback, Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), Person-Centered Therapy, Play Therapy, Positive Psychology, Prolonged Exposure Therapy, Psychoanalytic Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, Psychological Testing and Evaluation, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, Reality Therapy, Relational Therapy, Sandplay Therapy, Schema Therapy, Social Recovery Therapy, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, Somatic Therapy, Strength-Based Therapy, Structural Family Therapy, The Gottman Method, Therapeutic Intervention, Transpersonal Therapy, Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavior Therapy

SANITY BY COMBAT FUCK YES