#ford by no means needs to forgive or take bill back in the show | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

a-fluffy-dog24 · 9 months ago

Text

This is fanart I drew for the fanfic I wrote if you like what you see then please check out this fic.Here is the plot The night after the apocalypse Stan is recovering from amnesia with the help of his family. Ford apologized to Mabel. They all get some much needed food, get clean up and rest .Ford talk to Dipper about his apprenticeship. The kids talk to each other about trauma how will they help Stan get his memories back? Will it be to difficult for them to handle?

August/22/2012 The night after weirdmageddon The Pines Family and Waddles stay with Soos, until Mcgucket and the town folks help fix the shack, they pack up most of their stuff for the night.Pacifica gives them all new clothes and pj's.

The kids pjs are pink and blue ones with cats on it and one with dogs.Abuela gave the kids Turkey, lettuce and tomato sandwiches and they ate them like two little starved puppies.Since they haven't eaten a whole lot in the last 3 days.And gave the boys some coffee. And offered them a sandwich.Soos let them stay with him like they stayed with him when Gideon took their shack.

6:00 pm "I'm going to take the longest bubble bath ever" she announces Mabel goes to take a bath, Dipper unpack his bag in the living room. Soos set up the boys air mattress for the night."Anything you dudes need just ask me" Soos offered

"will be fine thank you've done so much"Ford said "yea Soos I don't know what we would do without you thank you"Stan told him .Stan and Ford sat on the couch. "Stanley, how are you doing?" "Good I'm starting to remember things I think.", "Ok that's good let me know if you are in any sort of pain please,I'm just concerned that recovering from Bill might be painful".Ford said worriedly

"I will thank you poindexter" "I found some old photos from when we were children, to show you at some point". Ford replied "I hope that will help" "I think it will..you're getting better" Ford hugs him and Stan hugs him back. A unpleasant smell fills the air “Stan did you just fart” Ford Sided. “Whoops must be the coffee” Stan laughed a little Ford ignoring his brother’s shenanigans let a little smile out at least his acting like himself.

When Dipper was done unpacking he said "Grunkle Stan do you want some toffee peanuts" asked Dipper "Umm I think so...sure", Dipper handed him his favorite snack and he ate them happily. "Grunkle Stan do you remember how you fought zombies" "umm no" "remember I rose the dead umm....accidentally","oh yeah that was frustrating "Stan grunted he remembered Dipper doing something he told him not too and he did it anyway "I'm sorry about that, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you and I feel bad for almost killing those Government guys"Dipper apologized.

"It's ok goober don't do that again"Stan rubs Dipper's head " but after we sang and killed zombies"he added " that was fun I liked getting to use my brass knuckles "Stan remembered. Then Mabel came out of the bathroom wearing pink and blue cat pjs. She found some band-aids and put them under her pjs and one on her cheek,She had a brush in her hand and she smelled like strawberries and mangoes.Ford walks over to her and been down to her eye level and put his hand on her shoulder ."Mabel I would like to apologize for how I chose Dipper over you and how I try to take your brother away from you

I'm sorry I didn't spend time getting to know you. I hope you can forgive me and I would love to spend some time together if you want to". She hugged him. He was a bit surprised he didn’t think she would want to show him affection. He picked her up. "I thought you liked Dipper more than me." "Well I'm sorry I did it was rash and mean of me to not show you that I like you,but I promise I'll make it up to you can you forgive me please"."I forgive you Grunkle Ford I would love to color,or I could paint your hand and make a 6 fingers hand turkey, or or I could teach you how to knit your own sweater"." Let's do it tomorrow my dear How was your bath," Ford asked . "I could have filled a whole other bathtub with all the bubbles,it was so warm and soapy". “You didn’t use all the hot water did you” he joked she smiled and shook her head no.

Then Mabel walked over to the couch where Stan,Dipper she sat on Stan’s lap.She handed him the brush and gave him her brown puppy dog eyes.He smiled, took the brush and brushed her, clean wet hair he held her on his lap and she looked very glad. He doesn't mind doing this for her; he can't say no to her. She is so darn cute.She loved this because of the attention.Then Ford went and took a shower. "That felt amazing. I love bubble baths" 'you want to hear a secret I do too", Stan said to her in a whisper. He kisses her cheek and she smiles, "Yea we know" Dipper grumbles”Well at least I don't stink like a wet dog", "yea kid you do stink and have like a sweating problem" Stan teased him. "I don't care …… Grunkle Stan do you remember, the jokes you would tell us" they read out of the uncle jokes book.

"Like why did the skeleton go alone to the dance" Dipper asked "umm Because he had nobody to go with him" Stan answered ,"yay you remember"she cheered "keep reading"They read more and Stan remembered every punch line.After Ford came over to sit on the couch he was wearing green and white plaid pjs, "the bathroom is free" he announced."Ok I'm gonna go wash up" Stan gets up and Mabel and waddles follow him in the hallway

"Grunkle Stan I have to ask you a question", "what is it?" "do you remember when you saved us from dinosaurs''. "What no?""Remember you saved me and waddles, we nap together' waddles sat on his feet ' you taught me how to cheat at cards". She showed him her scrapbook and pictures from that day and it helped," "Oh right I must've taught you well because you bet me.,.thanks for helping me remember ""I just didn't want you to forget me". He picks her up and holds her in his arms "how could I forget you're my pumpkin".

7:00 pm Just then Wendy showed up with 3 pizzas and cookies, "save some pizza for me " he told her "ok" ."Who wants pizza" Wendy announced "me" Mabel shouted "me too"Dipper called, they all ate pizza together she brought pepperoni and cheese.Ford was sitting on a chair Mabel sneaks up behind him she hugs him ,"HUG ATTACK" "ahhh" Ford act scared "Grunkle Ford did I scared you"

"yes come here my dear",he picks her up and puts her on his lap, and put all 12 fingers on her belly and tickles her she giggles and then he sang to her"I've got sunshine on a cloudy day When it's cold outside I've got the month"he rubs her belly "of May I guess you'd say What can make me feel this way? My girl, my girl" he kissed her on the head. "I've got so much honey."she giggles "The bees envy me. I've got a sweeter song Than the birds in the trees. Well I guess you'd say "What can make me feel this way My girl, my girl,"she hugs him.

There is one cookie left and both kids want it "ok dudes who wants the last cookie" ."I do" said Dipper "but you already had 3 cookies"Mabel added "so did you"Dipper argued, "ok but I'm the alpha twin I should have it" she said "what does that happen to do with a cookies",he argued"because I'm older" "BY 5 Minutes" he reminded her "you know what you can have it",she surrendered the cookie "wait what if we split it" "ok sure little brother" they split the cookie. after they were done Mabel said"awkward sibling hug" "ok awkward sibling hug" they hug "pat pat" "pat pat" . Then Stan came and he sat down and ate his pizza, he was wearing red and black plaid pjs.After dinner their bellies were all full then Mabel and Wendy,soos, played a game of go fish."Ok dude go fish" "no I only have two hands", Wendy picked up more cards Mabel is almost close to winning Stan sat on a chair and happily watched the kids play.

7:45 pm Dipper and Ford sat on the couch "Dipper can I have a word with you" "yes" "I think you shouldn't be my apprentice, I don't think I can handle taking care of you by myself.And you are still a child you should enjoy being one. I don't want you to get hurt. I know I haven't done the best job trying to keep you safe. You need to go to school and socialize with kids your own age, and you need to grow up with your sister","ok I understand I was thinking the same thing I would miss my parents and my sister too much",Dipper replied"but when you are older I would love you to be but only if you want to ..I need to stop being your teacher and start being your…umm….Grunkle ". Ford looks at Dipper, he smiles back at him

Dipper itches his head. It looks very greasy, his clothes are dirty, he smells strongly of body odor and pee ." How long has it been since you've bathed?" Ford questioned "I..don't know..a couple, weeks maybe a month or two I guess ". "That's disgusting go shower now ” Ford ordered “no…..you’d have to make me….I don’t want too” he stubbornly said “fine then I will wash you,"Ford told him annoyed . Dipper tries to move away Ford picks him up, and puts him over his shoulder,"you need a bath you have a rancid odor " he insisted Dipper grumbles. Ford scrubs pine scented shampoo in with 6 fingers in his hair softly,he reveals his birthmark . He scrubs his body with strawberries scented soap.Dipper looked up at him annoyed "you wouldn't be in this situation if you bathe properly " Ford displease put more soap on the sponge.

"Come on this isn't that horrible It’s for your own good” Ford rub's and tickles his belly.He giggled Ford smiles at him and he starts to sing."Disco girl coming through that girl is you Ooh-ooh, ooh" ."It's the year 1972 and that girl is you Ooh-ooh-ooh," Dipper sings."You like disco girl too" he ask Ford "yes I had the cassette tape a long time ago” "umm I have it I can give it back to you.I think Mabel put some stickers on it sorry I like it so much I bought the CD" Dipper said "That's my boy No you keep it...Doesn't that feel better than having an unpleasant smell " "yea it does I forgot that feeling" ,"you need to do this every day a shower and deodorant it essential to so you don't get an itchy infection "Ford told him "Yeah, I know that I guess I just need a reminder "Dipper replied. “I understand god knows even I forget to basic human needs from time to time.But working on making it a routine”Ford washed him again.

Then Ford drys him off he looks at the tiny cuts on Dipper's arm. Worriedly thinking that he fell down or something that hopefully that he wasn't hurting himself "that's when Bill possessed me he stabbed my arm with a fork"."Oh my lord that's terrible ..you know you don't have to fear Bill anymore" , "Grunkle Ford are you sure?" "I promise" Ford reassures him and puts some band- aids on the cuts on his arm and some more band-aids on the scrapes on his cheek and leg. Then Ford wasps him up in a white towel puts him on his lap and hugs him tightly. Ford kisses him on his head Dipper thinks that he likes when Grunkle Ford takes care of him. And Ford is thrilled to be a great uncle. He loves doing this kind of stuff for his grand nephew it's more enjoyable than an apprentice could ever be.Then Ford brushes his hair Dipper yawns and puts on his pink and blue dog pjs they finish, brushing their teeth.

8:18 pm Abuela washes all of their clothes and hats Wendy goes home and Soos goes to bed, Mabel fell asleep on a red blanket on the floor,Stan picks up the sleepy girl and tucked her into bed, with a warm orange blanket on the couch waddles got on the couch beside her you can see her blue pjs with pink cats on it she opens her eyes ."Grunkle Stan, I feel bad for causing weirdmaggedon" he can’t remember what had happened a couple days before the war.

“I’m sorry I really don’t remember” he told her “you saved us in the Tower in the sky when bill Conch me and Dipper…but you have to ease your mind…all because I started the weirdmaggedon” she said worrying that it her fault that he’s like this.

He tries hard to remember what she taking about and he doesn’t remember exactly how it happened. But he remembers that his niece would never do something like that on purpose."It was an accident right and I'm ok besides I'll be back to normal before you know it. " he tried to reassure her “is Grunkle Ford still going to make you move out” she asked she heard them arguing it still bothers her he might not have a place to live.

He remember a little bit he didn’t know exactly why his brother would kick him out. But he hopes that will change “probably not don’t worry pumpkin ” “ok I love you" she yawns.

" Yeah you too come on time hit the hay" she looks asleep he pats her head.As she gets comfortable in bed it starts raining hard.Then Ford carried Dipper over to the couch he was wearing, pink pjs with blue dogs on it. Dipper "finally I've waited so long to sleep on a real bed" "get some rest children" Ford said good night"Good night kids,"Stan shouted from his bed. Stan and Ford went to bed " stay on your side of the bed" "how old are you" Ford said sarcastically."I'm younger than you" Stan replied Ford rolls his eyes "right?"he can't remember for sure "Yes, younger by 15 min" Ford reassured him. "How old are we"he asks "65 unfortunately"Ford answered "god we're old men" Stan said then tried to sleep.

Back on the couch "Dipper do you feel bad for the weirdmaggedon stuff" "yeah a little, do you" she nodded her head. "I'm sorry… I gave Bill the rift" she started to cry. He looked a little surprised.

"I stayed in the time bubble he made.I was scared of weirdmaggedon happening outside ,and worst of all WE ALMOST DIED and it's ALL MY FAULT " Mabel sobbed.Waddles licked her tears away "Hey it's not your fault it's Bill's fault he tricked you, you didn't know what the rift was.

I'm sorry when we had our fight I didn't think about how my decision would affect you"He rubs her back slowly. "And the time bubble you were scared of growing up and you couldn't leave if you wanted to. But it's over, we're still here safe and sound.

He hugged her "And I promise that we'll never have to go through that again .Maybe you can talk to a therapist about it when we get home" " thank you bro bro I feel better I can't wait to talk to someone .""I think I might want to talk to a therapist too, like when I almost killed those Government guys and I didn't do anything about it or when Bill possessed me and was too scared to sleep. And he said he threatened to throw my body off the water tower and WE COULD DIE today " Dipper admitted he cried a little. She hugged him more "Bill died he can't hurt you any more I will never let you be hurt, like that again.. I love you "" I love you too". Just then they heard the loud thunder that scared her. She hugged him tighter and said "You want to go sleep in their bed" he nodded his head then they walked over to the boys bed.

"Grunkle Stan can we sleep with you guys PLEASEEE" she begged "Fine" Stan picked them up. He pats Dipper head let him kown he's good kid "Come over here my boy" Dipper crawls over to Ford's side he tells her "Mabel your a good girl it was a mistake" he reassures her that the reason.The rift broke was because he didn't trust to tell her about it.She understood that she shouldn't have gave it away but it not her fault it's bill's. "Are you scared?" Ford asks Dipper "no….maybe…..yes ".Ford tucked him in "I'm scared too" she blurted out "I've got you pumpkin I'm not going to let Bill hurt you" she hugs him. It was nice and warm under the covers much better than outside where it's cold and dark,wet.You can see the summer rain rolling down the window.Ford put his arm around Stan's shoulder Stan smiled at him tired.

Stan tucked Mabel in and cuddled her as she fell asleep. "I love you sweetie" he kisses her on the head, and listens to the sound of her breathing peacefully. He can smell her sweet scent of strawberries and mangoes. Then he sleeps too she sleeps tucked under the warm blanket on his belly with his arms cuddling her.Ford runs his 6 fingers through Dipper's hair as he falls asleep, "you're safe now I love you" Ford said and hears Dipper purring, like a kitten. Ford smells his scent of pine trees and strawberries, he sleeps close to Ford's chest.And he cuddled him. Ford tried not to fall asleep and he fails.

Mabel reaches out for Dipper's hand; they hold hands as an instinct like they would've as babies to protect each other and to know that the other one is there and is safe in their sleep. They were tucked in a warm blanket. All you can hear is the peaceful breathing and the pitter patter of the rain. The rain helps put out the small fires in the woods. They sleep peacefully through the night knowing that they can relax and they are safe and sound from evil.

August/25 A couple days later the shack is rebuilt and the Pines move back in.Stan is starting to remember more Ford tell him about their past.Ford starts at their childhoods and he apologizes for his mistakes.For shunning Stan for accidentally pushing him into the portal and Ford holding a grudge for so long. Then Ford had to ease Stan's mind. Ford sadly thought about all the years of pain .He had put him through emotional and physical pain like all the punches and the burn on his shoulder. Ford thought what kind of brother is and that He didn't even thank Stan for all the things he did to help him."You saved me you saved the world watching you I couldn't believe how calm you were I just wish you could remember ". Ford said as he started crying thinking that he started this mess with bill and now Stanley can't remember anything because of him

"I'm sorry for all the pain I put you through and I hope you can remember to forgive me " he mumble but it was Stanley that pay the price."Hey it ok thats in the past I forgive you and I love you "Stan hugs him Stan was able to forgive him because he had missed him for 30 years and he wants his brother back. He was remembering things and he kept hugging Ford and he calmed down. "Thank you Stanley,I love you too. I promise to do better,I have some old film reel of us when we were kids.

”Do you want to see" "yeah ". Ford got some popcorn and sat by Stan's chair. The clips and pictures were of them when they were little playing with paintbrush and getting paint all over themself on the beach.And goofing around at the dinner table,falling asleep on the couch and playing in the pawn shop, dressing as explorers in oversized helmets.Trying to find the Jersey Devil they do this all, in the afternoon they are so exhausted. They fall asleep together.August/28 That day Dipper and Pacifica went on an adventure,to save Mabel's face from M.r what's his Face.Dipper has a better understanding of what Pacifica is going through.

And Pacifica is able to stand up to her parent's rules and have fun,she saves the twins.And the three of them are able to become friends.Mabel asks Dipper to braid her hair, he braid terribly they have a good laugh about it.pIn the afternoon Stanley and StanFord go to the DMV to get their names and financials under the right names. After dinner the twins take their showers the Pines and Soos,Wendy gets a big couch and they have pizza and movie night they fall asleep together.

August/29 Soos finds the journals and Dipper got to write in it one last time. They ask Ford what they should do with them Ford wrote in it too. But it was Mabel who suggested throwing them in the bottomless pit. So they can be enjoyed by other people. Grunkle Stan Dipper go to the grocery store. Dipper sees some cookies and he begs Stan to get them both cookies.Stan has a double chocolate cookie and Dipper has chocolate chip cookie. They got home and sit on the porch. Well they eat their Stan talk about his childhood and they laugh. Dipper Dipper wrote in a notebook it a story he’s been writing. He tells Stan about it and how he trying to end it he sees interested and they think of things to add and they draw some pictures and have fun together.Stan takes the twins fishing in the river,one last time.

Mabel plays some music in the living room. She is wearing her new troll doll sweater it is blue,purple,green and pink. Grunkle Ford sees her and he picks out one of his old records, the song my girl plays. And she dances he’s nervous to dance. She holds his hands he starts to move a little bit then he twirls her around.She laughs and they dance together until dinner time. After they eat dinner the kids washed up then they took all of the Bill cipher stuff and put it in the campfire. They all sat by the fire and ate s’mores tell stories,until the sun came up. But the kids don’t make it past midnight, the boys picked up the twins and carried them and tucked them into bed.

August/30 Mabel nits a pink sweater for Stan and she got Dipper his own journal for his birthday a day early. It's blue and has a pine tree on it.Dipper got Mabel lots of stickers and candy a day early.After they go home the kids play on the tire swing.Mabel sat in it and Dipper swung her around, then Dipper sat in it and she swung him around. His hat flies off and ends up on her head. They laugh. Kids and Stan sit on the grass,eat ice cream,After the boys watch tv Stan and Dipper,Ford,Soos where watching some car fighting show.

Mabel meets Wendy on the rooftop and they talk about school,life Wendy talks about her mom passing and Mabel Comfort her they drink soda and watch the sunset.Ford makes amends with Fiddleford Mcgucket then the twins pack up their room.They all eat dinner together after Mabel takes a bubble bath and Dipper takes a shower .Then the boys tucked them in. Stan kiss Mabel on the cheek she falls asleep Ford kiss Dipper head he falls asleep.Stan kiss Dipper cheek and Ford kiss Mabel on the head.The kids sleep knowing that this is the last night they're be 12 years old and tomorrow they leave their childhood behind somewhat.. And they will be turning into teenagers and starting the next chapter of their lives.The boys look at them sleeping soundly knowing they will be able to get through as long as the kids have each other they close the door.

August/31 The next day Dipper and Mabel celebrate their 13th birthday they excitedly run down the stairs and wake up their Grunkles. Drag them out of bed they have pancakes for breakfast and then they open their presents from the boys .Mabel got candy rainbow yarn, a sketchbook and colored pencils and. Dipper got pens, candy and mystery novels and a camera.Then their parents call to wish them a happy birthday and they will see them later.After they get dressed then the townfork through a surprise party for Dipper and Mabel. They ate cake and opened presents, Mabel has a paper for Dipper and she has everyone sign it. The boys packed up their stuff and prepared to be sealed out to sea.And Soos moved in and the kids tried to hug Grunkle Ford goodbye. But he takes his coat and scoops them up in a hug he smiles, the kids laugh. He's going to miss them so much.

2:00 in the afternoon the bus came to take them home. They said goodbye to everyone, Wendy gave Dipper her hat and she has his hat and the kids hug Grunkle Stan for the last time this summer.The mystery twins learn Dipper can't force someone to love him.And he learns to put others needs before him own.Mabel learned to be less obsessed with crushs.Also to be less of an people pleaser.And that they have to grow up and take on new responsibilities,When they get home it late it's

9:00 pm at night their parents see them asleep on the bus Michael takes Waddles and their stuff he wonders what it will be like to have a pet pig. They stop at a fast food place the kids eat then go back to sleep. And Catherine takes her tired babies and puts them into bed together. She knows that they are 13 now but they always will be her little babies.She takes off Dipper's new hat and shoes she thinks the hat might be pretty special if he doesn't have his old lucky brown hat. And she takes off Mabel's shoes.

She finally got the pet she had been begging for years.She Tugged them in with a blue blanket. She loves that her kids are back home. She knows they would do whatever it took.To keep each other safe and to stay together.The parents can't wait to see what they're kids . Have been doing this for the past 3 months. They got their letters in the mail but for now they let them sleep. Then they talk at breakfast about the fun things they did and the adventures they went on and learning to grow up. Their parents are impressed by how much they are growing up and how much they can handle each other in dangerous situations. Their parents decide to send them to therapy to help with the trauma and to help them sleep better.Mabel tell them about their new great uncle. Their parents will be having a discussion with Grunkle Stan later. Dipper and Mabel open their birthday presents .A couple days later the twins go back to school shopping clothes backpacks and hair cuts.Mabel goes to the orthodontist and she gets her braces taken off after 5 years she supper happy.Michael suggest that they start going to therapy together every Wednesday and it help.The kids also call their Grunkles and talk to them about their sea adventures as a September wind blows by.And summer has come to an end.

30 notes · View notes

jacky-rubou · 3 years ago

Note

AU where Bill is a good guy and actually tries to help Ford?

Ford discovers the incantation as normal but instead of trying to trick him into thinking he's a muse, Bill tells the truth that he's a dream demon trying to seek refuge from his destroyed dimension. Ford was skeptical at first but after Bill saved his life with a vision, Ford accepted.

Bill offers up his knowledge on why Gravity Falls is so weird, leading to Ford's discovery of the Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism years earlier. Ford was now able to share this information with the scientific community, which after some trial and error, accepted his theory and lauded him as a genius. Everything was going great. Ford made sure Bill got his gratitude.

Unfortunately, Bill couldn't stay. Bill expressed worry about an event a thousand years prophesized and hurried himself to the nightmare dimension. Ford missed him but knew it was probably for the best.

But the night before Bill left, he gave Ford a terrifying vision of his estranged twin Stanley dying in an alley, his last words a heartfelt apology to Ford, and warned Ford that that would be his fate if he doesn't reach out to him soon. Ford woke up in a sweat, and immediately went to work at writing him a full blown letter, showing an interest in seeing him again and how much he actually missed him. For it was true, though Stan might've lost Ford his chance at his dream school, Ford was feeling awfully alone in his success. Bill's warning was all he needed to push him to action.

Stan came and it was a rather tearful reunion. Ford finally felt able to forgive Stan and Stan was just really grateful that Ford wanted to see him again. They soon resolve their issues with some help.

Fast forward to the summer when Dipper and Mabel visit. They get to meet both of their grunkles this time, and they bond really well. Ford takes Dipper and Mabel out to see all the crazy things that happen in Gravity Falls. Everything is going fine until Dipper opens Ford's journal and reads aloud the incantation to summon Bill, since Ford had no reason to warn against it and Dipper was just curious. Bill appears, but instead being frightening, Bill was the one frightened.

Dipper, who's stunned that that even worked, asks Bill why he's scared. Bill quickly explains who he is and how the monsters in the nightmare realm had trapped him in their special prison and how they planned to bring their weirdness to Earth, possibly destroying the universe in the process. Then Bill requested to see Ford, to which Dipper agreed. Ford was shocked that Bill was here, but his surprise was soon washed out with worry at Bill's tale.

A few weeks later and Weirdmaggedon starts, a monster by the name of Pyronica at the head of it. Bill soon realizes he has the ability to gain a physical form, which he went through with as a means to possibly fight back against those monsters. Bill then figures out that he can manipulate the monsters to do his will in his physical form so he makes all the monsters stay far away from Ford and his group of survivors as they infiltrate Pyronica's flaming castle. Bill decides that enough is enough and gives Ford the knowledge of the zodiac and how it will stop the Weirdmaggedon now that Bill took control from Pyronica, essentially sabotaging their efforts.

Ford realizes what this implies and gets really sad. Bill was willing to be sealed away from this dimension forever if it meant saving the universe. Ford gets everyone who is on the zodiac together and draws it on the floor with a spray paint can. They hold hands and it works, sealing Bill and every monster away from this dimension, ending Weirdmaggedon and saving the universe. There was a moment of silence for Bill's sacrifice. Bill was a hero and everyone knew it.

#gravity falls #ford pines #good bill cipher #pyronica #dipper and mabel #stan pines #weirdmageddon #alternate universe #sacrifice #whoa i got carried away with this haha

63 notes · View notes

a-solitary-marshmallow · 4 years ago

Text

Rewind Chapter 5 - Finding Stan

Ford’s hands were shaking as he dialed. He clutched at the phone, whispering “Come on, come on!” with every ring.

Finally, on the sixth ring, there was a click. “Stanford?”

“Is Stanley with you?” Ford rushed out. There was a hesitation from the other side of the line.

“I… no, Stanley’s not-” Fiddleford’s voice turned shrill. “Ford, ya lost yer brother???”

“No! I, well. Yes? I don’t know, Fiddleford, he was here when I went down to the basement but now he’s gone and I’ve searched the whole house, he’s not here!”

“How long were you gone for?” Fiddleford demanded.

“Only a few hours.”

“A few-” Fiddleford spluttered. “Ya shoulda just had me stay if you were gonna leave ‘im alone again!”

“I didn’t mean to leave him for so long, I lost track of time! F, please.”

Fiddleford groaned. “Alright, alright. Here’s what we’re gonna do. You’re gonna start searchin’ the woods around your house. I’m gonna ask around town, see if ‘e came down here. And we’ll call when one of us finds ‘im. Alright?”

“Yes. Yes, thank you.” Ford stammered.

Fiddleford hung up with a click, leaving Ford alone. Ford made it outside before realizing he wasn’t wearing a jacket and it was freezing outside, he needed to get his jacket – and something for Stan too. Had Stan taken a jacket? No, of course not, Ford didn’t have one that would fit him which meant the child was alone and underdressed in the snow and even if nothing else happened to him he could still freeze to death. How could Ford have left him alone?

“Hey Ford, look what I got!”

“Not now, Stanley.” Ford waved his hand dismissively at the approaching child, unwilling to be pulled away from his panic as he paced on the front porch. There was no time to be distracted, not while his brother was in danger–

Wait.

“STANLEY!”

Stan let out a little yelp as Ford grabbed him, snatching his brother tight against him. Stan had come from the forest, judging by the trail of footprints leading from the tree line. He was shivering in Ford’s arms. Ford barged through the door and slammed it shut behind him, placing his brother on the living room carpet to inspect him.

“Geez, Ford! I’m fine!” Stan whined. A jacket far too big for him was bunched up around him and his feet were shoved into a pair of Ford’s boots (resourceful, a part of Ford noted) but he was still snow-dusted and shivering.

“Where were you? Do you have any idea how worried I was?” Ford demanded. “What were you doing out there?”

Stan laughed, showing a mouth with less teeth than there used to be. “I got fairy dust from a gnome! ‘Course, then the other unicorns saw me and I had to skedaddle, but I got the hair!” He brandished it in one fist triumphantly.

“Other unicorns – but – she said she was the last –” Ford shook his head quickly to clear it. “Never mind. Are you hurt?” Ford pulled his brother closer to inspect him, Stan wriggling and whining as he did so. His face and arms were all scratched up and his lower lip was swollen, a trickle of dried blood down his chin from when a tooth must have been knocked out. His jaw was beginning to darken in a nasty-looking bruise. “Stanley, what happened?”

“I toldja! One of the unicorns got me in the face but I got outta there quick. You were right Ford, unicorns are jerks. I take back everything I said about liking ‘em. And now you’ve got the hair you can do your spell thing, right?”

For the first time Ford comprehended the clump of shimmering rainbow hair in his brother’s tiny fist. “You… you got the hair?”

Stan nodded happily. “Yeah! You said you needed it and that unicorns are mean, and your book said how to find them. So I got it for you.” He held it out with a huge gap-toothed grin. Ford could do nothing but stare.

Slowly Stan’s grin crept away, one arm wrapping around himself self-consciously.

“Ford? Did – did I do something wrong?”

All at once life returned to Ford’s limbs and he forced himself into action, offering a small smile and carefully prying the unicorn hair from Stan’s fist. “No, Stanley. Well – you should have told me where you were going. In fact, you shouldn’t have gone out alone at all.” Stan shrunk a little. “But this is very helpful, so overall I would say you did rather well. Provided we don’t make this a repeat performance.”

“…so I’m not in trouble?”

“No, you’re not in trouble.” Ford didn’t even know what that would look like. Stan wasn’t in his right mind – Ford had to be extremely gentle with him right now. He had no idea what disciplinary measures would do to the wobbly balance they had struck.

And anyway, he was too elated to be angry for long. They had the hair, which meant Ford could protect his house from Bill and finally get some much-needed sleep. Once he was rested he would be able to come up with a game plan to defeat the one-eyed menace once and for all.

Ford straightened up, dusting the last few snowflakes from his brother’s hair. “I have a barrier to set up. Now, where did I put those moonstones?” A stray thought hit him. “Oh yes, I should call Fiddleford and let him know that you’re safe. He… will not be pleased with me.”

“Fidds is here?” Stan perked up.

“No, not here. I’ll call him in a moment, once we construct this barrier. Would you like to help me?”

“Sure!” Stan beamed at him again. Ford took a moment to study his brother’s rudimentary snow protection (boots and a jacket too big for him, evidently fished out of Ford’s closet, with sleeves rolled up to half length and still dropping down over his hands, and huge boots threatening to slip off with every step). Stan was lucky the ensemble held up during his escapade into unicorn territory. Those horns were sharp – who knew what the unicorns could have done if Stanley had stuck around?

But Stan had done it for a reason, and that reason was currently clutched in Ford’s hand. He shook his head quickly to clear it and hurried to collect the other ingredients he would need. Once the ingredients were assembled Ford grabbed the glue and rushed out to set up the barrier, Stan hot on his heels.

“See, we need to glue the hair down here – like so – to form a ring around the house. This way Bill cannot enter.”

“Mmkay.” Stan peered around him to watch as Ford began pasting down the unicorn hairs. “Uh, who’s Bill?”

Dang it. Ford sighed. Well, he would have to tell Stanley at some point, it may as well be now… “He’s – a very dangerous person, Stan. This barrier is going to protect us from him. He won’t be able to cross it.”

Stan frowned down at the fine line of rainbow hairs. “…are ya sure about that? Seems pretty easy to get past to me.”

“I’m very sure. Bill isn’t human, like you and I. He’s a demon. A dream demon, to be precise.”

“Oh! Is he that guy with yellow eyes you were talkin’ about? The one I’m not supposed to make deals with?”

Ford shifted to the next spot, talking as he worked. “Yes, exactly. Bill is a very powerful entity who claims to be a benevolent muse, but anything he says he will give you is a lie. Do you know those stories Ma used to tell us, the ones where people would make deals with the devil and they’d get everything they asked for, but in some twisted, sick way?” Stan nodded. “That’s Bill.”

“…oh. Okay.”

Ford worked in silence for quite some time before his brother spoke up again.

“Hey, Ford?”

“Yes Stanley?” Ford didn’t look up from gluing down the unicorn hair.

“We don’t go sailing, do we?”

Ford very nearly froze. As it was, he continued to construct the barrier as his mind raced to come up with an appropriate answer.

He doubted that Stan would accept a lie and be placated – Ford was a terrible liar and Stan always seemed to know when he wasn’t being honest. He’d have to tell the truth. He could only hope that his brother wouldn’t throw a fit at having his childish dream denied.

“…no. We don’t go sailing.” Ford said carefully.

“Oh.” Stan paused. “Does the Stan O’ War get out of Jersey at least?”

“No. It was too small, anyway; by the time we grew large enough to sail it was far too small to support us in the open ocean.”

“You are pretty big.” With that Stan nodded thoughtfully and went back to watching Ford construct the barrier. Ford waited for more questions, but… that was it? He’d expected a larger reaction.

Ford cleared his throat. “Forgive me, Stanley, but at this age…” In reality it was at any age but Stan didn’t need to know that, “I thought you would be more upset.” Stan sent him an odd look, and Ford elaborated. “The two of us sailing away on a boat has always been your dream.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Well, duh, but it’s not about the boat.”

Ford blinked. “It’s… not?”

“No! C’mon ya dummy, treasure’s cool and all, but I just wanna do something with you!” Stan grinned and punched him lightly. “It’s okay that we don’t go sailing because we get to do this! Whatever ‘this’ is.” He shrugged. “Monster hunting…? Monster-science-people. Science – tology? Scientology?”

Ford clapped a hand over his brother’s mouth. “Nope, nope, that’s already a thing and we do not speak of it. Try again.”

Stan giggled and shoved his hand away. “Ugh, you know what I mean! This thing!” He waved wildly at the woods around them. “Stuff with unicorns and cool creepy labs and – whatever that thing is.” He pointed to a gnome waddling out of the underbrush. “Holy – Sixer, what is that? Is that one of those gnomes from your book?”

“Yes it is. They’re relatively harmless so long as you don’t interfere with their queen or try to steal their hats. They’re rather sensitive about the hats.”

With Stan occupied with the gnomes, Ford was able to quickly finish setting up the barrier. As the final piece fell into place an iridescent sheen flickered across the house, a smattering of symbols glowing across the shimmering barrier before it faded into the air from whence it came. Ford let out a shaky breath of relief.

“There. Bill won’t be able to reach us inside.”

Stan clomped up to him in too-big boots, a couple brown beard hairs clutched in his fist. “Hey Sixer, does gnome hair work too?”

“No. Now come inside and wash your hands, you don’t know where that’s been.” Ford placed a hand on his brother’s back to hurry him along but the screeching of brakes made him tense. It was only when he recognised Fiddleford’s beaten-up buggy zooming into view that he allowed himself to relax. Though… Fiddleford was travelling quite fast for his regular, cautious style of driving. The buggy pulled up sharply and a disheveled-looking Fiddleford clambered out, red in the face.

“Fidds!” Stan called out happily. Fiddleford stomped over and Ford began to feel like a zebra watching a fast-approaching lion. He… probably should have called earlier to let his friend know that Stanley was safe.

Fiddleford let out a gasp when he noticed the child’s bruised face. “My word – Stanley, are ya alright? Ya look like ya went head-to-head with a feral cat!”

Stan beamed up at the man, who seemed to flinch when he noticed the missing tooth. “I’m fine, you should see the other guy!”

“…I’m sure he’s hurtin’.” Fiddleford sent Ford a glare, which – yeah, he probably deserved. Ford coughed awkwardly.

“Yes. I apologize for not calling you earlier. I had to set up the barrier as soon as possible…” He rubbed the back of his neck at the dry stare he received. “And I’m sorry for waking you up. No one is hurt, so you can go back home-”

“I’m not leavin’ you two alone again!” Fiddleford scolded. “Not if yer just gonna get into more trouble. No, I’m stayin’ right here until this age debacle is over, understood?”

“…Understood.” Ford echoed. “But – can we at least go inside first, where it’s safe?”

Fiddleford nodded and then turned to Stan, who had taken a nervous step back at the tension in the air. He relaxed slightly at the kind, if somewhat brittle, smile Fiddleford sent his way.

“Let’s get out of the cold, shall we?”

_______________________________________________________________

Sleep had been a luxury Ford had not been able to afford for weeks. Luckily, that meant that as soon as he relaxed and his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light. By the time he awoke the clock by his bed read eight-twenty in the evening and his window was dark.

Ford stretched, yawning hard as his mind slowly surfaced from thick, dreamless slumber. For a moment panic struck him and he sat bolt-upright in bed – before the memories of that morning trickled through and he remembered the barrier.

We’re safe. Bill can’t get to me. Stan and Fiddleford and I are safe.

Speaking of the others, there was clattering going on across the house that sounded promisingly like pots and pans being moved. Ford’s stomach grumbled at him.

The sleep must have done him some good at least because at least his head wasn’t complaining anymore – his constant headache was all but gone. Even better, his mind no longer felt fuzzy and vague. In fact he could probably recite the digits of pi right now without getting dizzy! Ford did so in his mind as he made his way to the kitchen.

Fiddleford looked up from stirring a pot of soup as Ford approached. “Ah, Stanford. Come on and get some dinner, yer right on time. Stanley here was just tellin’ me about the unicorns.”

On a chair at the kitchen table, Stanley seemed to be in the middle of a dramatic reenactment, which – for some reason – involved a butterfly net, the saltshaker, and a too-big Hawaiian shirt.

“-so the gnome police have this thing about butterflies, right? Hi Ford! Okay, so this Smell-ulock guy let me borrow his net if I caught his escaped squirrel, and that took forever but I got the net – I gotta give that back to him at some point – and man Fidds, butterflies are hard to catch!”

Ford settled down at the table with a bowl of soup, letting the chatter wash over him. The rich, savoury scent made his mouth water. Before he realized it he’d already bolted half of it down, mouth and throat burning slightly from the scalding temperature. Fiddleford ‘tsk’ed.

“Didja sleep alright?” The other man asked once Ford paused to take a breath.

“Quite well, thank you. Having the barrier up is a welcome relief.”

“That barrier means the triangle guy can’t mess with our heads anymore, right?” Stan sat down in his chair with a plop, dropping his assorted props on the table. Ford nodded in affirmation.

“Right.”

“So what does unicorn hair have against demons anyway?” Stan asked curiously. Ford swallowed his last spoonful of soup and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before speaking.

“It acts as a protective force against evil and those with ill-intent.”

“So, if I went to punch someone but they had a bunch a’ unicorn hair, it would stop me?”

“Erm – not quite. It can help to ward against demons, though.” Stan opened his mouth to ask another question but Ford beat him to it with the answer. “It seems to have a kind of purpose and sentience, to be able to target demons and mind-invaders specifically, but I haven’t been able to study it before now so I haven’t the foggiest idea how or why.”

“But it hurts demons, right? Like Bill!” Stan jumped up on his chair again and flung a punch at some imaginary foe. “Can’t you just use your smarts to make a giant unicorn-hair-laser-gun-missile-launcher thing? And then we’ll blow ‘im right outta the sky!”

Ford snorted at his brother’s exuberance. “If only it were that simple. Unicorn hair isn’t the only ingredient in the barrier spell; there’s moonstone and mercury as well, and anyway, the whole thing merely acts as a shield. It might be able to do some damage to Cipher if I alter the formula and substitute… hmm, foxglove?” Yes, that could theoretically work, especially if he combined spells. “But there’s no way to deliver the final product to him, he’s too slippery. We’d need to manufacture some kind of… gun…”

Ford stopped.

“…actually, that might work.”

#writing #my writing #my fic #chapter 5 #gravity falls #rewind #the stans

25 notes · View notes

fungus-amongus00 · 4 years ago

Note

What about an au that Stans about how “weird” “Old man mucket” is and Ford askes about him, then Stan is confused but tells him where he lives and ford talks to his bud for the first time in a long time.

I am so sorry if this is confusing :(

No confusion here! I gotcha ^^ Hope you like it! FEELINGS TIME

Stanford remembered hearing it that morning and nearly dropping his coffee in the process. It had been the mention of a name he had forgotten about momentarily. After all, in all his travels across the multiverse, small things like that were bound to slip his mind. However, the fact that it brought about such a sudden reaction had shown that the memory was not entirely gone. It was still very much a part of him, and hearing that name, brought about a multitude of emotions. The strongest one wracking his brain was of….regret.

“Hey, kids. Did you see the latest video on Bramble? Man, I swear, that Old Man McGucket keeps getting crazier and crazier. I dunno what he’s gonna do next,” Stanley laughed and then even harder when Mabel showed him another video.

“I mean, yeah, it’s funny, but I feel kind of bad for the guy. He lives by himself near the dump, and no one’s tried to, you know, help him at all?” Dipper added, sipping on his strawberry milk.

“Ah, lighten up, kid. As far as I know, that’s just..how he lives. He doesn’t seem like he’s unhappy or anything.” Stanley did stop laughing momentarily. Of course Dipper always had to be the realist just like someone else he knew. He finally noticed Ford standing in the doorway, looking like he was about to pass out. “Sixer? You all good over there?”

“Oh, no, Grunkle Ford! You dropped your mug.” Mabel hurried over to scoop it up. Luckily, it wasn’t one of the ceramic ones and didn’t break upon impact. It took Stanford a couple of seconds before he registered she was grabbing paper towels to clean up the mess.

“Terribly sorry, Mabel. I zoned out for a moment there,” he apologized, helping her sop it up before it spread to the rug. “I just...you guys were talking about Fiddleford Hadron McGucket...right?”

Stanley raised an eyebrow. How the hell did those two know each other?

“Wait, how do you know his full name?”

“Did you not read his journals, Grunkle Stan? McGucket was his assistant in his research. He was...a genius, really,” Dipper said with a concerned look towards Ford. “I would’ve done something, but..I’m not exactly sure how to help him. He lost a lot of his memory.”

“You said he lives over by the dump, right?” As soon as Dipper said “yes” in response, Ford was out of there in about five seconds flat, dashing off towards the dump.

“Ooh! Should we follow him, Dipper? Maybe Grunkle Ford can get the old Fiddleford back!” Mabel gasped. By the look in her eyes, Dipper could tell she had already made up her mind.

As soon as she ran off, Dipper sighed and grabbed his backpack. He’d really hear it from both Mabel and Grunkle Stan if he didn’t go with. “Uh, be back in a bit, Grunkle Stan!”

Stanford didn’t stop running until he got to McGucket’s shack. In hindsight, he could’ve had Stan drive him, but this was urgent. He gasped when he saw where he was living. Oh, Fiddleford… He felt that guilt hanging heavy on his chest again. How long had he gone on not even knowing he was here? Of course, he had only recently returned to this dimension, but still! How could he forget about the person most dear to him. The person who….he betrayed..for an interdimensional demon with empty promises. For a moment, he stopped himself as he started walking up to the shack. If his memories returned...would he hate him still? He wouldn’t blame Fiddleford if he never wanted to see him again.

Mustering some courage, Stanford took a deep breath and continued onwards to what sort of resembled a door. A six fingered fist lingered at it a moment before tentatively knocking. He heard rustling from within before a raccoon bolted out of there, making him jump and nearly fall over. Was a raccoon his only company now?? His heart nearly stopped when Fiddleford stood in the doorway, his beard all the way down to his feet and what looked like...a bandage on his beard? Stanford wasn’t about to question it. Fiddleford stared blankly at him before saying, “Well, howdy, there! Can I help you with somethin’?”

The words caught in Stanford’s throat for a moment. There was so, so much he wanted to say, mostly “I’m sorry, so sorry,” but he held it back. He didn’t know how much of his memory was missing, but given his living conditions, and the fact that he wasn’t completely pissed at him right now, he’d say a lot. He held up a six fingered hand in a wave, putting on his best smile even though his body simply didn’t want to, no matter how much it hurt.

“Hey, Fiddleford. I’m an...old friend, Stanford Pines. Do you..remember me at all?”

Fiddleford seemed utterly confused. He “hmm’d” to himself, scratching his beard and looking Stanford over. It got to the point where it seemed to be causing him physical pain, finally stopping with a groan. “Aw, sorry, there. Can’t seem to recall your name, but you’re that new scientist guy that arrived here in Gravity Falls, right? Sorry if I’m wrong. My memory ain’t what it used to be, you know?”

Stanford let out a sigh and an understanding nod. He figured this was probably going to be the case. Perhaps, he needed some stimuli to get things going.

“It’s alright, Fiddleford. I know you’ve been through a lot...trust me, I do, so I hope you don’t mind this.”

Taking a breath, Stanford reached out to place his hands on Fiddleford’s shoulders, slowly drawing him into a hug.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Fiddleford. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for everything that happened. I should’ve put my trust in you, not Bill. Driving you away is one of my deepest regrets. Even in other dimensions, it haunted me in my dreams. I wish...I wish I could take that hurt away, but we both know even the memory gun isn’t perfect. Memories don’t simply disappear, right, Fidds?” In that moment, he didn’t think about if Fiddleford didn’t know what he was talking about. All that mattered now was that he was hugging him again. He didn’t need forgiveness. It was the closure that he’d get at least.

For a minute, Fiddleford stayed still, but he slowly wrapped his arms around Stanford, sighing softly. Just feeling safe in his arms and his familiar scent, he felt a rush of memories coming back to him, especially with the use of his old nickname Stanford often called him back then. He glanced over when he felt Stanford trembling, tightening his grip on his shirt. His head..well, really hurt, especially at the fact that Stanford was here and in his arms.

“It was a tough time for both of us. And you know, I forgive you, Stanford. It’s been far too long for me to hold onto a grudge now.”

Stanford gasped when he heard him call him by his name. Were his memories..returning? Was his hypothesis correct? Tears started to run down his cheeks as he cupped Fiddleford’s face with trembling hands. “Fidds….you really remember me? I-I mean, you shouldn’t forgive me. I betrayed you. You were the person I was closest to, and I turned my back on you, drove you mad enough to use the memory gun on yourself. I..I don’t think I deserve it..”

“Oh, Stanford,” Fiddleford chuckled, looking up at him with the softest smile. “What matters is learning from your mistakes. Obviously, you found out the truth about Bill and his intentions, and you worked hard to correct your mistakes. Like I said, it’s been too long for me to hold onto a grudge, right, old buddy?”

He winced a bit when another headache and rush of memories came on. “Ah, look at this. You’re sparking so many lost memories o’ mine. It’s like magic!”

Stanford let out a choked laugh, having to remove his glasses a moment to wipe away his tears.

“Yeah, it kind of is. I would say magic doesn’t actually exist, but..I’ve seen far too much to say that anymore. Plus, Mabel would probably kick me in the shin if she heard me say that.” After taking a moment to collect himself, Stanford offered his hand to Fiddleford. “How about we find a place to chat and catch up? My brother actually turned the old cabin into a tourist trap of sorts, but it’s a good place to hang out in. And really? A shack, Fidds?”

“Hey, don’t blame me! I lost my mind, literally!” Fiddleford teased and accepted Stanford’s hand. The warm touch of it was something he really had missed.

“OH MY GOD, GRUNKLE FORD! That was sooo cute! I actually started crying myself,” Mabel squealed from a nearby bush as she tumbled out of it followed by Dipper. “Oh my gosh! You guys are literally the cutest!”

“Mabel...they just met again after...a really long period of time,” he said, having forgotten the exact number. “How about we give them some space?”

“Oh, yes, yes. Space is important, but afterwards you guys have to tell me everything!”

Stanford chuckled as he watched her drag Dipper off, guiding Fiddleford along. Things were still a little...awkward, but he was sure they’d regain their footholds in their relationship again. Things were a little different now, but after all these years, Fiddleford was still Fiddleford, and that was enough for him.

#gfalls #gravity falls #fiddauthor #writing #au #anonymous #ask #thanks for sending me a prompt!!

22 notes · View notes

leverage-ot3 · 5 years ago

Text

notable moments from The Maltese Falcon Job

leverage 2.15

Hardison (checking phone): Guys, they are ripping through Nate and Tara's cover stories. All their financials are blown. So look, until I know what they know, no credit cards, no debit cards, no ATMs, nothing that can be traced back to us. OK? Cash in hand only.

- - - - -

Nevins (on phone): No, not a safe house. Interpol wants Culpepper someplace off our system. We're taking him to the Governor Hotel.

Nate: OK, that's it. That's where we're gonna hole up.

Tara: The Governor Hotel?

Nate: Yeah.

Tara: The hotel crawling with FBI?

Eliot: FBI and Interpol.

Nate: Yeah, you know, it's the one place in Boston they won't be lookin' for us. Come on, we just gotta get there first

smart

- - - - -

Tara: Oh, thank God! I just stepped out to get the paper and then my door closed behind me and I tried to find a house phone, but you guys don't have those anymore. (drops towel) Oops.

Man: Uh...

(Eliot and Parker look down the hall, then at each other, then down the hall)

parker, g i r l, close your mouth

they were both slightly Into It™ and you can’t change my mind

- - - - -

Hardison: In-room checkout. (sits down on bed with keyboard) OK, look, this means that I have access to the hotel's billing computers. It's a big ol' backdoor in every hotel room in America. (hacks system) As of right now, we've been here for a week, and our reservations are good for another week, courtesy of this man's platinum card, Mr. Ogden Shields, who has spent a lot of time in the adult section of pay-per-view. I mean, did he even leave the room?

Parker: In-de-panties Day?

~ a few moments later ~

(Parker takes keyboard from Hardison’s hands)

Eliot: All right, I'm gonna go get some keys made. I'm goin' to the gym. Make sure I can charge stuff on the room.

Hardison: I gotcha.

(women moaning on TV)

Parker: Wow, she really wants that car clean.

Hardison: That’s-that's enough of that

parker is baby and hardison wants to protect her from that nastiness

- - - - -

Nate: Why do we care about him?

Hardison: 'Cause he's big on the surplus weapons market.

Eliot: (laughs) That's just a polite way of saying arms dealer.

Tara: His specialty's buying cheap guns from Third World countries and reselling 'em.

- - - - -

Nate: Don't worry about Sterling.

Eliot: Did you just say, "Don't worry about Sterling?"

Nate: Yeah, don't worry about Sterling. What you don't think I can beat Sterling?

Eliot: I think in the last six months, Nate, I've heard you talk about beating the Triads, beating the Russians. All right? Maggie's boyfriend. Huh? How'd that work out? We all said that meet was a bad idea, right? But you got a taste for taking down this Mayor and you can't resist.

Nate: You wanna walk away? Walk away.

Eliot: I'm not walkin' away. It's not my job. My job is to get your back. And, Nate, I'm gonna do it. All the way down. But I need you to do your job.

Nate: And what's that?

Parker: Be Nathan Ford. Be the person we came back for

PARKER BABY she showed emotion I’m so proud of her

- - - - -

(Eliot holds up the piece of paper taken from Bonanno’s house that reads ‘Maltese Falcon’)

Eliot: That's still bugging me, man.

we love to see eliot confiding/leveling with hardison

- - - - -

Parker: Ooh! But, uh, I have mini-bar.

her in the maid outfit with the french accent

+ HER WINK IM GAY

- - - - -

Nate: You help Tara and Parker. I'm gonna stall Sterling.

Hardison: How?

Nate: I'm thinking.

(Sterling gets into an elevator. Nate heads up the stairs, stopping at every floor to push the elevator button. Sterling begins to get irritated when the elevator stops at every floor but never sees Nate, who gets progressively more tired as they go upward)

[Hallway]

(Sterling gets off on the 14th floor. Behind him, Eliot pushes his cart into the elevator. Sterling glances at him but the door closes before he can get a good look. Sterling approaches the door the FBI agents are guarding)

petty and fucking ICONIC I wouldn’t have the stamina for that but neither would nate tbh and honestly he was probably running on pure spite to make that happen and I respect him for that

- - - - -

Parker: Housekeeping!

(she goes inside, pulling her cart in behind her. Once in the room, she finds Tara and Hardison in the window. Hardison is tangled in his line, and Tara is trying to help him)

Hardison: Ow. That's... Stop. Hey, I got this. Stop. I don't need help.

Tara: Clearly you do.

Hardison: I got this. I got this. Go.

LMFAO E V E R Y TIME

we love to see the running bit of hardison utterly FAILING at anything rappelling related

- - - - -

Culpepper: Where are the agents? Where are the agents? There should be two FBI agents standing at the door.

(Eliot walks in with Parker thrown over his shoulder)

Nate: Did you have to?

Eliot: She saw our faces.

Nate: OK. Yeah, put her in the tub with the others.

(Eliot takes her into the bathroom)

- - - - -

eliot can always knock a bitch out with one (1) punch

- - - - -

Sterling: So, I'm gonna make you a deal. You find Kadjic, tie him to the guns, I'll give you a free pass. Just this once, you get to walk away with your record wiped clean.

Nate: My team?

Sterling: They go down. Every last one of 'em. They deserve to go down. They're criminals, Nate. Thieves. So that's the deal. You bring me Kadjic and the guns, and I cut you and you alone loose. Because at the end of the day you're always right. You're not a thief. This is your second chance.

(Sterling picks up the flask and walks away)

this was actually really interesting to see. sterling leveled with nate. he knows nate, knows how he works, thinks he knows who nate really is on the inside. they have a Past™

- - - - -

Nate: Yeah. No. I... I, uh... Listen, I need you to come back. Um... I need you. Uh, I need you.

[Interior Helicopter]

Sophie: No, no, no. Speak up. I'm traveling and...

[Leverage Headquarters]

Nate: Not the team. Me. For me. Not for a con. I just... Listen, I... I don't know who I am anymore, Sophie. And, ah... When, when I was chasing you and everything and we were doing cons, I knew who I was, but not anymore. As crazy as this sounds, I need you to tell me, tell me when I'm goin' too far. I mean, it just... It gets out of control and I just don't know who I am and, and you've always been... .y compass. And, you know, I care about you more than yo-you'll ever know, because I lo... I lo...

lmfao when the signal is lost? tragic

- - - - -

eliot is wearing a flannel in the final scenes

- - - - -

the obama portrait very visible in the background of the government building? we love to see it

- - - - -

eliot DING DONG WE’RE HOME spencer owns my whole (whole) heart

- - - - -

Nate: What are you doing?

Eliot: Countin' all the guys with guns.

Nate: How many?

Eliot: A lot

smart and TOTALLY an eliot thing to do

- - - - -

Parker: Don't worry. No one's ever died going in through an air duct.

Tara: Oh, this is comforting.

Parker: I mean, worst case, you slip and fall. Break your legs. Lay there for days, scratching on the metal. It's like a long, metal coffin with wind. (excited) Let's go!

(Parker runs across the roof)

she’s baby and I love her. never, ever change parker

- - - - -

Computer: Match identified.

Hardison (bending over keyboard): Damn, you finally found something, half-pint?

HE CALLS HIS COMPUTER HALF PINT ??? ICONIC

- - - - -

Hardison: Parker, where are you?

Parker: Sorry, had a buzz from the alarm system, I couldn't hear a... thing. What?

(Parker’s face hardens and she heads for Tara, who is putting the rappelling gear back in the oxygen tank)

Tara: Parker, what's wrong?

(Parker grabs Tara by the throat and pushes her back until she is leaning over the edge of the building)

~~~

Tara: You're really strong.

Parker: Yeah. I hang from buildings with my fingertips.

Tara: It's not what you think. I was setting up a meeting!

Parker: Actually, that was exactly what I was thinking. Bye now.

Tara: Not for myself

- - - - -

ANNIE KROY IS BACK

- - - - -

(Eliot, his hands tied, is being led to some stairs by two goons.)

Man: I'll get the hatch.

(one man moves ahead of Eliot while the other stays behind him. When Eliot doesn’t follow the first man up the stairs, the second pushes him)

Man 2: Come on.

Eliot: Thirteen.

(Eliot and the second man struggle, sending gunfire rifling across the ceiling before the second man is knocked down. The first man comes back and kicks Eliot in the face. Eliot kicks him in return)

Eliot: Come here!

(Eliot swings his hands across the first man’s face, knocking him back)

Eliot: Twelve.

(Eliot knocks the first man out)

Eliot: Eleven.

(Eliot starts up the stairs, but hears someone else coming and waits around a corner. After a brief struggle, he knocks this man out as well and breaks the zip ties on his wrist)

Eliot: Ten. (heads up the stairs

HOOOOO BOY

MARK ME DOWN AS SCARED AND HORNY

also if parker and hardison know what he was doing? they’d be marked down as the same

- - - - -

Tara: All she asked was that I report back to her every now and then. Are we sure this is the fastest way?

Parker: Yeah, look. (looking at car GPS) There's no traffic this way. So, you were spying on us.

Tara: I was not spying. I was an early warning system. Sophie just, she was worried Nate might go off the rails. So, if it ever looked like he was spinning out of control, I was supposed to call and let Sophie lay in a backup plan just in case.

Parker: Yeah. Why not us?

Tara: Because you were too likely to forgive him.

Parker: I suppose gettin’ busted by the FBI and trying to bring down arms dealers while kidnapping a mayor does qualify as out of control.

Tara: So, anyway, I used my contacts to get Sophie set up as a buyer for the guns. You know... You actually had me worried for a second that you were gonna drop me.

Parker (laughs): That is silly

- - - - -

(Hardison is carrying a large monkey wrench and smiling. He hears noises and goes to investigate, seeing Eliot starting up a ladder)

Hardison: Hey. It took you long enough.

Eliot: What?

(Eliot starts toward Hardison, but a man points a gun to his head)

Man: Freeze.

(Eliot grabs the gun and knocks the man out)

Eliot: One.

Hardison: What

hardison if he knew what eliot was doing: hot damn

- - - - -

(the team gathers together. Parker hugs Sophie)

Sophie: Ooh. Parker touching.

Parker: Kinda, yeah.

- - - - -

Eliot: There's not that many ways out of here.

Sophie: Eliot, when I arrange a rescue, I do it properly.

(a helicopter lands on the docks near the ship. The team heads down the stairs, but Nate hesitates, looking down at the blood on his hand from his side. He goes down the ladder to join the team on the lower deck)

- - - - -

Nate: I've destroyed all the evidence the FBI has on Culpepper and Kadjic. You have no photos, no tapes, you don't have anything. You don't have a case on anybody, unless you arrest me. And only me.

Sophie: Nate?

Nate: I agree to turn state's evidence. I testify to what Kadjic told me, how he put the hit on Bonanno. Hell, I'll even give you Bonanno's evidence against the gunrunning.

Eliot: Nate, I can take these guys.

Hardison: It's just ten more yards to the chopper, man.

Nate: Listen, guys. I got you into this mess. This is the only way to get you out.

eliot is still ready to fight for his family no matter what and hardison just wants them to leave because they’re SO CLOSE

- - - - -

Nate: Come here.

(the team moves closer to him)

Nate: You guys are the most honorable people I have ever met in my life. You've become my family. My only family. I won't forget that. (looks at Eliot) Now get 'em on the chopper. Please. Now!

Eliot: Let's go.

(Eliot nudges Parker and she reluctantly heads for the gangplank. Eliot touches Hardison’s arm)

Eliot: Let's go, man.

(Hardison walks away. Eliot hesitates a moment, shaking his head, then follows the others, hesitating at the top of the gangplank near Sterling)

nate trusts eliot, and only eliot, to be the one to be able to get the rest of the team out of there and into the helicopter. he knows eliot and how much he cares for his family and will do anything to make sure they’re safe, and nate is betting on that to get them out of there

eliot has to be the one to make parker and hardison move because they’ll listen to him and also there would be a good chance that they’d try to stay with Nate otherwise

his gentle hands leading them away have my whole (whole) heart

- - - - -

(Sophie and Eliot get on the helicopter, Eliot hesitating one last time before getting in)

this hurts eliot so much because he’s the RETRIEVAL SPECIALIST and he’s supposed to get everyone safe and never leave anyone behind I’m-

- - - - -

Agent: Who the hell is this guy?

Sterling: I don't know.

Nate: My name's Nate Ford, and I am a thief.

(more sirens are heard. Nate begins laughing as the helicopter lifts off and more police cars and agents arrive, surrounding Nate and the dock. Nate watches the helicopter fly away)

MAJOR character development for nate this season (2.01 had him refusing that he was a thief and in multiple other episodes in this season)

oh and also, y’all, just like last season, if I had to watch this go down like that with my own two eyes and have that be the end of leverage (because they close every season like it’d be the last) I would have fucking R E V O L T E D

#leverage #leverage 2.15 #leverage 2x15 #the maltese falcon job #leverage season 2 #season 2 #notable moments #mine

63 notes · View notes

annamiasworld · 4 years ago

Text

Detain the Dangerous [Gravity Falls: Ford x Bill]

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: This is my first fanfic ever which I publish here on tumblr so I would be indiscribably happy if you could leave some feedback in the comments. Plus this is the first time I wrote about Gravity Falls so if you notice any mistakes concerning the timeline of the story etc. point that out if possible. Also goes for typos because english is not my first language. This fic was inspired by the song “Dangerous” from David Guetta by the way. Other than that I hope you enjoy reading this!

Summary: This work is about Ford and Bill during Fords researcher period in Gravity Falls. It’s pretty much Fords thoughts without a real plot and takes place before he realizes that Bill bertayed him.

Warnings: None

Requested by: @zirandem

Word Count: 1,5k

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ford woke up the first thing he saw was an overthrown cup of coffee and a brown viscous substance soaking itself into his paperwork.

“Oh not again” he mumbled still sleepy and stretched his back. That action caused more pain then it actually should and the noises his body made sounded anything else then healthy. He still got up – probably a bit too fast because his head immediately began to throb and for a few seconds everything went dark in front of his eyes. Ford rammed his fingernails into the wooden table he was sitting at a few moments ago until he got his orientation back.

A heavy sigh left his lips. He hadn’t slept through for more than a week now because of his project. It simply took up all of his time and energy. He knew that he could never handle all of this on his own and that’s also why he was so thankful for the help he got from Fiddleford. And of course not only from him…

Fords eyes quickly skimmed the room while he asked himself if he’s being watched. An uncomfortable feeling rushed through his bones, making him shiver. He definitely needed another cup of coffee.

On his way to the kitchen he turned on all of the lights. He wasn’t paranoid or anything but lately he felt like something changed. It felt like the air was full of electricity and something heavy and dark built itself up becoming more and more dangerous every day. For most of the people this description would seem weird but Ford was sure that he was right. Still he kept these thoughts to himself because he knew others wouldn’t understand. Except maybe…

“Hey Sixer!” a familiar voice called. While Ford had begun to make himself coffee Bill Cipher casually appeared behind him floating just above the table.

“Morning Bill” Ford said. He had expected that his friend would turn up but he also knew what that meant. It meant going back to work again and right now he really wasn’t in the mood. He just woke up feeling horribly tired so all he would like to ask for was one single morning where he could sit at the kitchen table eating a proper breakfast. But he knew of course that this wasn’t possible. Not before their project was finished.

“I hope you were diligent in my absence.” The triangle grabbed Fords coffee and took a long sip.

“Of course I was”

“Well then I suppose you wouldn’t mind me taking a look at your notes”

Ford took a deep breath and prepared himself for letting Bill inside his mind. After that his memories went blank.

He found himself sitting in front of his table again with Bill next to him. His friend was in a good mood as always when he pointed to Fords work.

“This was really impressive! The additional notes about the invisible wizard could be very helpful for building the portal!”

Ford smirked. Bill always knew how he could get him. They just shared the same passion when talking about supernatural stuff. And secretly Ford was extremely glad whenever Bill praised him.

“Well for sure not as useful as the materials he kept in his shack!”

“You have a point there” Bill laughed.

“I wonder if there is a way to see the invisible wizard. I could try to reinforce my glasses with…”

But Bill interrupted him. “Listen, I know that there is still a lot to discover but let’s focus on the important thing first. The invisible wizard won’t run of. I mean it’s impossible since we locked him in that closet.”

Now it was Fords turn to laugh. “Well then what’s the order of the day, muse?”

Bill ensured him that he would wait at the car until Ford got himself ready and disappeared. Ford hurried to the bathroom, not wanting to make Bill wait too long. With a glance into the mirror he saw that he looked just as horrible as he felt. But he had no time to wallow in self-pity. Bill was waiting.

While brushing his teeth the strange feeling he had felt during the last few days returned. Since he met Bill a lot had changed. Through him he discovered that there are creatures at places he would have never found on his own. Also the portal would be a huge step to finally understand how all of the dimensions worked together. And once he had summed up all the facts he could make the information available for everyone. Nobody would dare to call him crazy anymore when he had proofs for everything. To the contrary he would be the greatest scientist of all time.

But suddenly a question popped up in his mind. What is Bills benefit? He tried to get rid of the thought, explaining to himself that Bill was a muse or he probably had to serve somebody like a genie, that there was a logical explanation but he still couldn’t stop thinking about it.

“Well I could just ask him, right? We are friends after all.” he muttered while walking down the stairs.

As soon as he sat into the car seat he gathered his courage. Why was it so hard for him to do this? It was just a simple question, right?

“Listen Bill, I’d like to ask you something…”

The triangle appeared on the passenger seat the moment Ford started talking, giving him an interested look.

“Spit it out already Sixer. What is it?”

He swallowed. “I know that you only want to help me… but… why? What’s in this for you?”

There was an oppressive silence and Bill examined him carefully. After what seemed like minutes to Ford he finally said, “Do you doubt me Stanford?”

Fords eyes opened wide. His question had exactly the impact he didn’t want to attain.

“No, no, no, no, no! I was just… I only wanted… I thought maybe…” he stuttered awkwardly.

Bill dropped his gaze and sighed.

“It’s okay. I knew that you would ask this at some point. But you still hurt me.”

“This wasn’t my intention. I’m sorry Bill.”

“I know. Yet I owe you an answer.”

Ford waited silently while Bill tried to search for the right words.

“Of course I’m doing this because you are my friend. I see an enormous potential in you. But you are right. There are other reasons too. I’m trying to show you as much as possible but there are dangers in which I don’t want to put you. Sometimes it’s better not to know everything, Ford.”

Ford felt really ashamed. Why did he always have to question everything? He was never the guy who had plenty of friends and now he risked to lose his best one.

“I’m really sorry, Bill. Please forgive me.” Ford apologized again.

“It’s okay, Sixer. Let’s just… forget this conversation.”

Ford nodded relieved. He would never dare to mention this topic again.

“Are we ready to pay the Geodites a visit?” Bill changed the topic skilfully.

“We totally are.”

The second time Bill left Fords mind they were at a different place again. The triangle had lead them to a mine at the foot of a mountain. There were debris all around the entry and it didn’t look very stable but he still walked towards it. Bill told him that the Geodites are simply living geodes. They are hard to destroy and could be a good binder for some immobile parts of the portal. If they managed to catch some of course.

He wondered how he could explain the function of the new commodity to Fiddleford. His former college friend was a good soul and a fabulous engineer but Bill has warned Ford to tell him only the bare necessities. Unfortunately Fiddleford tended to be instable concerning his mental health so he could easily get nervous when Ford brought some new materials he found with Bill.

It didn’t feel right to keep a secret from his colleague but Ford had no choice. Maybe when they had reached their goal, when they finished the portal and activated it, when he understood more and visited other dimensions he could inaugurate Fiddleford. He would surely be glad that he was part of this project when he only saw all of the profits they could draw from other dimensions.

Ford knew that something about this wasn’t right. He was out here in the wild, discovering things that aren’t meant to be discovered. It almost felt like an addiction. A possibly deadly dangerous one. But he wasn’t alone. Bill would protect him, right? That’s at least what he hoped. That’s at least what he promised him.

16 notes · View notes

thelastspeecher · 5 years ago

Text

Not bothering with a title because I couldn’t think of one. Anyways, on the Discord recently, we added a bit more to the Spy AU and retconned a few things. Two major things that were changed/added are that the spy agency that the Squad works for (and is run by Ma Guck) is now called Gravity Falls. Meanwhile, the rival spy agency is called the Cipher Corp and is run by none other than Bill Cipher. I’ll probably make a separate post later detailing the specifics of these changes. The second major thing added/changed was that now more Gucks than just Angie, Fidds, and Ma Guck are involved in the spy world.

But you’ll see that here, in this ficlet that takes place during the time when Ford was hit by a de-aging toxin on a mission and turned into a three-year-old. Enjoy.

——————————————————————————————

Basstian crouched down next to Ford and smiled at him.

“That’s some mighty fine colorin’,” he said gently. Ford looked up, beaming broadly. Just last week, Ford would have bristled at Basstian’s paternal tone, but he seemed to slipping into a childlike mindset more and more lately. Basstian did his best to ignore the heartwrenching implications of this and just enjoy Ford’s new willingness to take naps.

“It’s a dinosaur,” Ford said proudly. Basstian ruffled Ford’s hair, still smiling at him.

Lord, he looks so much like Stan ‘n Angie’s babies. The door to the agency daycare opened.

“Basstian,” a voice said. Basstian stood and turned around. Stan stood in the doorway, out of breath and clearly simmering with barely contained anger.

“Stanley!” Ford chirped happily, getting to his feet. Stan shot Ford a quick grin.

“Hey, pipsqueak.” Stan looked back at Basstian. “We caught ‘im.”

“Who?” Basstian asked.

“The person responsible for this whole clusterfu…dge,” Stan said, quickly censoring his last word. Basstian’s eyes widened.

“You mean the person who…” Basstian glanced at Ford, who, blissfully unaware of the tense nature of the conversation, had grabbed his coloring book and toddled over to Stan.

“Yeah,” Stan said. “I know you mostly just work with the kids here, but think you could stand in the corner all menacingly while I interrogate the guy?”

“Sure,” Basstian said.

“Stan,” Ford said, tugging on Stan’s pants. “Look, I colored.” Stan looked down at Ford.

“Good work, bud.” Stan ruffled Ford’s hair.

“You didn’t even look at it!” Ford whined.

“I’ll look in a bit, okay? Basstian and I have to go talk to a bad guy first.”

“But-”

“How about you color another thing while we’re gone?” Basstian suggested. “Then you can show off two colorings when we get back.” Ford frowned thoughtfully.

“You drive a hard bargain, but okay,” he said after a moment. Basstian gently nudged Ford back to the play area of the daycare. Ford toddled over obediently and took a seat on the floor.

“C’mon,” Stan said brusquely. Basstian followed him out of the daycare, forgetting to close the door behind him in his haste.

“How’d you guys track this guy down?” Basstian asked. Stan stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched with anger.

“We got a tip through one of our regular sources that the guy responsible for shrinking Ford was going to be making a dropoff at the park on Johnson. We got there, saw exactly what we were told to expect, knocked the guy out, and put a bag over his head to bring him back here.”

“Who is he?”

“Dunno. We didn’t get a good look at him before we put the bag on his head. We wanted to move as fast as possible.”

“I can tell,” Basstian said, beginning to feel slightly out of breath from talking and keeping up with Stan’s frantic pace. “Who’s ‘we’?”

“Me and Angie. Angie went off to go tell the boss that we finally nabbed the guy. That way, she can step in if we need him to.” Stan grinned viciously. “No one’s better than your mom at getting people to sing like a bird.”

“Amen,” Basstian mumbled. They arrived at the interrogation room. Stan slammed the door open and marched in. Basstian looked over at the person sitting handcuffed to the table. Like Stan had said, there was a bag over his head. Basstian silently entered the room and closed the door behind him. Stan stormed over to the enemy agent.

“Get ready to talk, you piece of shit,” Stan snarled. He ripped the bag off the man’s head. His jaw dropped. “Harper?”

“Howdy, Stanley,” the man said cheerfully. Basstian stared. Sitting at the table, grinning broadly at Stan, was his older brother. “This is one heck of a how-do-ya-do, by the way.”

“You son of a bitch,” Stan growled. Harper raised an eyebrow.

“That’s not a very polite thing to call yer mother-in-law.”

“Fuck you, man. You work for the Cipher Corp? Do you have any clue what they do there?”

“What can I say? It’s a tough job market out there,” Harper said with a shrug. Stan moved to stand across the table from Harper. He crossed his arms.

“You don’t seem very surprised to find out I work for Gravity Falls.”

“I knew.” At Harper’s casual statement, Basstian’s blood ran cold. He looked at Stan, who had stiffened, the color draining from his face. “Y’all had an agent that quit and came to work fer the Cipher Corp. She told me ‘bout ya workin’ fer Gravity Falls. It ain’t common knowledge, don’t worry. We’re the only two what know.” Harper cocked his head. “And I ain’t told anyone Angie works fer Gravity Falls, neither.”

“How the hell do you know that?” Stan hissed.

“She told me the two of ya met at work. But like I said, I ain’t told anyone. I might be workin’ fer the Cipher Corp, but I protect my own. I wouldn’t want anyone to hurt my baby sister.”

“You protect your own, huh?” Stan demanded.

“Yep.”

“Your family.”

“Yup.”

“Bullshit,” Stan growled, placing his hands on the table and leaning forward. Harper leaned forward as well.

“It ain’t. I protect my fam’ly.”

“Then why the hell did you do that to Ford?!” Stan shouted. Harper blinked.

“Pardon?”

“If you protect your family, why would you mess with your brother-in-law?”

“I…didn’t,” Harper said, befuddled.

“Fuck off!” Stan roared.

“Stanley, I honestly have no clue what yer referrin’ to,” Harper said calmly. “I haven’t seen Stanford in some time. Isn’t he sick?”

“He’s not sick, he’s-” Stan started. The door to the interrogation room creaked open. All three men looked over. Basstian groaned quietly.

Shoot. He must’ve followed us. Ford stood in the doorway, staring at Harper with wide eyes. Basstian quickly walked over to Ford.

“C’mon, kidlet, this ain’t the place fer ya,” Basstian said gently. “Let’s get ya back to the daycare.” Ignoring the startled look from Harper, who had just noticed him, he took a hold of one of Ford’s hands. Ford shook him off and walked to Stan.

“Bud, you can’t be here,” Stan said quietly. Ford frowned at Harper thoughtfully. “Go back to the daycare with Basstian, okay?”

“No,” Ford said. Stan sighed.

“Who- who’s this lil feller?” Harper asked. “And why’s he here?” Stan glared at him.

“Don’t play dumb,” Stan snapped. “That’s Ford, and you know it.”

“I- what?”

“You’re the reason he’s like this!” Stan rumbled. He slammed a fist on the table. Harper’s eyes widened.

“I…” Harper took a breath. “Explain.”

“No,” Stan said flatly. He scooped Ford into his arms. “I’ve gotta get Ford back for naptime.”

“My colorings,” Ford protested.

“All right, all right, you can show me your colorings. But right after, you’re taking a nap,” Stan said. He headed out of the room. “Get your finger out of your nose, you’re gonna give yourself a nosebleed.” The sound of footsteps faded. Harper stared at Basstian.

“Basstian, what’s- what’s-” Harper stammered. “Yer here, and that’s Ford, and-” Harper closed his eyes. “What’s goin’ on?” Basstian walked over to the table. He sat down across from Harper.

“Yes, I work fer Gravity Falls. I ain’t a field agent like Stan or Angie or Ford, though. I mostly just work in the daycare. Sometimes I help out with makin’ up backstories fer covers. And when they want someone stand ‘round lookin’ intimidating fer an interrogation, I get asked to come in. That’s why Stan wanted me here.” Basstian rubbed his forehead. “I should’ve asked someone to keep on eye on Ford. He’s started wanderin’ ‘round HQ lately, lookin’ fer Stan or Fidds. Should’ve known he’d follow us back here.”

“How is that- how is that Stanford?” Harper asked weakly. Basstian met his eyes.

“Like Stan said, don’t play dumb. Yer the one what did that to him,” Basstian said firmly. Harper paled.

“He’s the agent I gave that toxin,” Harper croaked. Basstian nodded. Harper’s head drooped. “Oh, Lord above. I swear, I had no idea it was Stanford. If I was, I wouldn’t have done it.”

“I doubt Stan ‘ll believe ya. Or forgive ya any time soon. Ford’s condition is gettin’ pretty dire. He’s in kid mode almost constantly now.” Harper continued to pale further as Basstian was speaking. “The folks in the lab say that if we don’t cure him soon, we won’t be able to.”

“I- I know the cure,” Harper said. “I can- I can make it. I don’t want Stanford to have to grow up again.”

“But you were fine with it when it was a stranger,” Basstian said. Harper was quiet. “Why would ya work fer the Cipher Corp? That movie job don’t pay ya enough?”

“I don’t have a movie job,” Harper said. “It was a cover. Just like Stan and Angie’s terrible lie that they work in sales. Well, Angie’s terrible lie. No one would ever believe she’s a halfway decent salesman.”

“We’re not talkin’ ‘bout this right now.”

“Right. Take me to the lab, I’ll whip up the cure.”

“Not yet,” Basstian said. “The boss ‘ll want to talk to ya first.” Someone knocked on the door. “That must be her.” The door opened. Harper looked over. His jaw dropped.

“Ma?”

#I'm pretty pleased with how this turned out. some more development to this beautiful disaster of an AU #some more appearances of the least-seen Guck brothers #there's another follow-up scene I might get around to writing at some point but we'll see #I've got a backlog of prompts still and multichaps to work on lmao #why can't I ever focus on one thing #Spy AU #Basstian McGucket #Stanford Pines #Stanley Pines #Harper McGucket #McGucket Family #my writing #ficlet #speecher speaks

15 notes · View notes

anistarrose · 5 years ago

Text

To See The Unseen - Ch. 5 (Gravity Falls)

Summary: Stan has a lot of explaining to do.

Warnings: none

AO3: archiveofourown.org/works/20884673/chapters/49642817

Finally, we’ve reached the (extremely long) epilogue!

***

Mabel barged into Stan’s hospital room, Dipper and Wendy hot on her heels, and threw her arms around his shoulders.

“You’re awake! We got so worried once you and Bill disappeared in the mansion—”

“How did you do it, Grunkle Stan?” Dipper asked, joining in on the hug. “Once you flew away from the lantern, we couldn’t see anything that happened —”

“Hey, let’s take it one thing at a time, okay? And loosen your grip, will you? I can’t answer your questions when you’re squeezing the air out of my lungs.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Dipper withdrew from the hug, and a moment later, Mabel did so as well.

Stan laughed, pulling down the brim of Dipper’s hat to cover his eyes. “I’m just messing with you, kid — I’m not that old and frail yet. But first things first, what happened to Old Man Northwest? He’s not still out trying to kill you, is he?”

“No, he’s not,” Pacifica spoke up. She stood awkwardly by the door, averting her eyes towards the floor as she pulled the mirror out of her pocket. “About a minute after we lost track of you, the mirror lit up blue, and now… well, you probably get why I don’t want to open it up any more times than I have to, but the portrait shows his face now. I checked, back in the mansion.”

“Yeah, I figured he got trapped again,” Stan muttered. “Serves that jerk right.”

“You guys probably know how to get rid of something like this better than I would. I guess you should take it.” Pacifica gingerly handed the mirror over to Dipper, then turned to leave, but she paused as she opened the door.

“Um, Mr. Pines? I saw you unconscious in the woods — and I guess you must’ve seen me too, now that I think about it — but I didn’t do anything to help you, and I’m… I’m so sorry about that. I should’ve realized you were in trouble and told someone, instead of just taking the mirror back and running off —”

“It’s water under the bridge, kid,” Stan assured her. “And even if I wasn’t so forgiving, I’ve made a lot more dumb decisions than you have in the past twenty-four hours, so I’d be a hypocrite to judge you for it. Just don’t let me ever catch you bribing partygoers at the Mystery Shack ever again, and we’re even. Bribery is my job, you see?”

Pacifica finally made eye contact with him, expression completely deadpan. “You really should stick to bribery instead of cursed artifacts. It sounds a lot lower-risk.”

Stan laughed. “You know what? I think I like you after all, kid.”

Pacifica smiled. “Well, uh… I’ll see you guys around, I guess?”

“We should go mini-golfing sometime!” Mabel suggested. “I’ve been meaning to do that all summer, and now we have an extra friend to go with!”

“Well, right now I should really be figuring out how to explain the, uh, destroyed ballroom situation to my parents, but… yeah, I’d like to do that someday. I mean, I know I’ll win, but something tells me you’d be a worthy opponent.”

Stan pointed two finger guns at her. “If you need a forged note from an authority figure to throw your parents off the trail, then you know who to call.”

Pacifica tried and failed to stifle a laugh as she left the room, and nearly bumped into a nurse who was pushing a cart through the hallway.

“You didn’t make any deals with Bill, did you?” Dipper asked Stan in a hushed voice once Pacifica and all medical personnel were out of earshot.

“What kind of idiot do you take me for? Of course I didn’t cut a deal with the evil triangle! He might not turn on me at the first opportunity, or the second, or even the third, but sooner or later he’d find a way to stab me in the back, and then where would I be? Not around to protect you guys from people like him, that’s for sure.”

“Then how did you get back in your body?”

Stan sighed. Shit, how do I explain this without saying anything incriminating…

He settled on a vague, simplified version of the truth. “Look, I’m a con artist, right? That’s no secret — but the thing is, Bill’s a con artist too, and I could tell that from the first time I heard him speak. I’ve spent a lot of time dealing with guys like him, and I can read his type like the back of my hand — I knew that he still wanted something from me that I could only do if I was alive, so… I told him I was fine getting trapped in the mirror, and he didn’t have the guts to call my bluff.”

“Holy shit,” Wendy blurted out. “Stan, did you outplay a literal trickster god?”

Stan shrugged. “Well, when you put it like that, it sounds a lot more impressive than it really was…”

“I’m not saying that getting back in your body was a bad idea,” Dipper spoke up slowly, “because I don’t know what we’d do without you, Grunkle Stan, but… aren’t you still worried about playing into Bill’s hands? Do you even know what he needs from you? What if you end up helping him without even realizing it?”

“No,” Stan lied. “I never figured out what he wanted me to do.”

It was far from the most brazen lie he’d ever told the kids, but with their worried eyes boring into him and their dusty, recently-bruised hands clinging to his hospital gown like they were still afraid of losing him, it stung more than it should have.

Pull yourself together, Stanley, he thought to himself. If they learned that you’re still planning to do exactly what Bill wants, there’s no way they’d just sit back and let you get away with it…

Or would they? If they knew why you need to turn the portal on again?

Dipper opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted as the doctor entered the hospital room — and so the topic of Bill was forgotten, for a time.

***

It took a few tests and a lot of lying by omission to medical professionals, but Stan was cleared to leave the hospital early that evening. Soos drove the whole gang back to the Mystery Shack, taking a quick detour to pick up pizza for dinner, and they devoured almost all of it in the truck before even getting home.

Dipper lay down on Stan’s chair with Journal 3, rereading its lone legible entry on Bill Cipher, while Mabel sat at his feet, clacking her knitting needles together in a comfortingly familiar rhythm as she started a new sweater.

“What are you going to do with that mirror?” she asked. “Throw it in the Bottomless Pit?”

“I was thinking about burying it really deep… maybe even in one of the bunker’s tunnels, for good measure. I guess we’d have to explain to Stan how we know about the bunker, but —”

“Ahem!” Stan coughed into his fist as he entered the room, and Dipper jumped.

“Oh! I didn’t see you there! Uh, Mabel and I were just saying —”

“I’ve already heard about the bunker, kid,” Stan told him, setting down an old, dusty briefcase that Dipper didn’t recognize. “I don’t have the full story, but I don’t think I want it, ‘cause I’ve already been through a lot today and if you tell me how close you came to dying in there I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight.”

Dipper grimaced. “Are you… mad?”

Stan looked away. “We need… we need to talk about that journal, Dipper. When I was all disembodied and invisible, I overheard you say that you were looking for the other volumes…”

“I know the Journals are dangerous, you don’t have to tell me again!” Dipper blurted out. “But you said I could use it for self-defense, and — and — and I was just desperate for a way to help you! I didn’t know what happened to you and I didn’t know any other place to find the answer besides the other books! Please don’t confiscate it, I promise I’ll never —”

Stan held up a hand. “Whoa, slow down. I’m not going to confiscate it. I just… I need you to promise you can keep a secret for me.” He looked around the room, from Dipper and Mabel to Wendy to Soos. “I need all of you to promise me that you won’t repeat this to anyone — not to your families, not to your friends, and definitely not to the cops.”

Dipper and Mabel exchanged a worried glance, but when they turned back to Stan, they nodded solemnly. Wendy zipped her lips, and Soos put his hand over his heart.

“Okay, now that that’s settled…” Stan took a deep breath, and then turned around and kneeled in front of his briefcase as he unlocked it and pulled out the contents. “Dipper, I figured you might want to take a look at these.”

He stood up, Journal 1 in his left hand and Journal 2 in his right, and Dipper’s jaw dropped.

“YOU had them all along?!”

“Shhh, not so loud!” Stan dropped Journal 1 in Dipper’s lap and pressed a finger to his lips. “Do you want the whole town to overhear?!”

Dipper picked up the book gingerly, the way one might handle a fragile relic or a ticking time bomb.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked in a quieter voice.

“For the same reasons I’ve lied to you about a lot of things, kid,” Stan admitted softly. “Most of all, because these books are dangerous, and I couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt because of some dumb idea they put in your head… like, I dunno, maybe getting turned into a ghost and almost having to make a deal with a demon all because you read about a cursed mirror and tried to use it to scry for the author of the journals.”

Everyone just stared at Stan, at a loss for words.

“And no, that wasn’t a hypothetical,” Stan added.

“That’s how you got stuck in a coma?” Wendy gasped.

“You’re looking for the Author too?” Dipper blurted out.

“I’m sorry, Dipper. For lying, for being too hard on you, for being a hypocrite about not looking for trouble with the journals. But you kids…”

Stan broke eye contact, staring down towards the ground. “You kids would get along with the Author. You’re both so much like him, in your own weird ways — and I don’t know what I’d do with myself if I let what happened to him happen to you.”

Journal 1 slowly slid out of Dipper’s lap, toppling onto the floor.

“You knew him?” Dipper asked quietly.

Stan picked up the journal, staring down his face reflected on the cover. “Ford was my twin brother. Your other great-uncle.”

Mabel and Dipper both started to say something at once, but Stan cut them off. “I’m guessing you never knew about him, ‘cause the family doesn’t talk about it a whole lot. It’s… it’s complicated, but there is a good reason for that. It’s just too hard to explain right now.”

“I had no idea,” Mabel whispered. “I thought we were the only twins…”

“Oh my god, Stan, I’m so sorry.” Dipper buried his head in his hands. “This whole summer I’ve been running around looking for mysteries and monsters and doing the same things the Author used to do — but this whole time, that was how you lost your brother! I made you watch that all over again —”

“He’s not lost for good,” Stan corrected him. “I found him with the mirror — I know he’s still alive — and I’m going to get him back here, safe and sound.”

The stares and the stunned silence returned for a few long seconds, before Soos finally spoke up:

“If you found him, then… where is he that you couldn’t see without the mirror?”

“That’s a good question.” Stan motioned towards the gift shop. “I need to show you one last thing, and then this will all make a lot more sense, okay?”

After closing the windows and double-checking to make sure the door was locked, Stan punched in the code, and Dipper smacked his head as he watched the vending machine swing open to reveal the secret passage.

“You were hiding this in plain sight all along…”

“This is just the tip of the iceberg of secret rooms, kid,” Stan warned him as he led the way down the stairs. “It only gets crazier, so trust me when I tell you I didn’t design any of this except the vending machine.”

The elevator shuddered more than usual as it began to move, and Stan had a brief moment of panic when he realized he’d never ridden in it with four other people all at once — but little more than a single anxiety-ridden minute later, it reached the basement safely.

“Don’t touch anything except the floor, and definitely don’t open any doors,” Stan ordered as the doors opened and they stepped into the lab. “That means you, Dipper. I still don’t know what a couple of the control panels do, and we don’t need to find out now.”

“This is incredible!” Dipper exclaimed, turning from the fuel tanks to the periscope to Stan’s desk and the main control panel. “Did your brother build this whole thing himself?”

“I think he had some help, but I was never really sure on the details,” Stan fibbed. He was pretty sure Bill had designed the bulk of the portal, if not the entire room’s setup, but it wasn’t his place to reveal Ford’s secrets like that.

“What’s that machine behind the doors?” Soos asked. “Why’s it blocked off like that? Is it dangerous?”

“It’s an interdimensional portal,” Stan explained. “A hole punched straight through spacetime itself —”

He shivered. Damn, that’s almost verbatim what Ford told me all those years ago, isn’t it?

“You’re kidding!” Dipper practically pressed his face right up against the window, staring at the portal as its lights flickered on and off. “I can’t believe this was right under our feet the whole summer! Where does it lead?”

“I don’t know what’s on the other end,” Stan admitted. “I just know that’s where Ford is. And in another week or two, it’ll be fully calibrated, and I’ll finally be able to get him back.”

“He fell through?” Wendy asked, and Stan nodded.

“But… the Author’s been missing for decades,” Dipper said. “Your brother’s been alone in an alien world all this time?”

Stan nodded again. “It’s been just over thirty years. That’s why I dug up the mirror, because the second journal said it could be used for scrying, and I… I needed to see for myself that Ford was okay. Even though his journal also said the mirror was ridiculously dangerous, I — I just couldn’t wait any longer.”

“Grunkle Stan, that was the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, and I’ve watched you get arrested for trying to shoplift an entire freezer full of toaster waffles from the grocery store,” Mabel told him. “But I would’ve done the same if you or Dipper was stuck in another dimension. I think all of us would.”

“Thank you, pumpkin.” Stan put a hand on Mabel’s shoulder. “Let’s just hope you never have to.”

***

Ford staggered onto a solid surface, squinting through his goggles as blinding bolts of electricity flew past him. His ears rang and his head ached from the grenade he’d used to launch himself through the portal, but he managed to stay standing upright as the light faded away and he found himself in a familiar basement.

I was so damn close! I could’ve saved the entire multiverse, but Stanley had to go and reopen the portal now of all times —

“Grunkle Stan, is that him?” A youthful voice jarred Ford out of his thoughts, and as two short figures rushed towards him, he pulled off his goggles to get a better look.

“It really is him!” a boy with a pine tree cap exclaimed. Much to Ford’s shock, he pulled one of Ford’s own journals out of his vest, and held it up for Ford to see like it somehow would explain everything about this utterly bizarre situation. “I’ve been waiting to meet you all summer! I can’t believe you’re finally here!”

“We’ve heard so much about you!” a girl in a sweater added, knocking the air out of Ford’s lungs with a surprisingly tight hug. “Grunkle Stan told us you like science so I knitted you a sweater with the periodic table on it! It’s upstairs right now but I can go get it if you want!”

The boy shot rapid-fire questions at Ford, clicking a pen anxiously like he was ready to take notes. “What was the other side of the portal like? Does time pass at the same rate in that dimension as it does over here? Did you ever meet any aliens?”

“I, um… of course I’d be happy to talk about aliens and try on sweaters later, but could we slow down for a minute?” Ford stammered. “First of all, who exactly are you two, and —”

“Yeah, give him some time to get adjusted, okay kids?”

Ford tensed as he heard the voice, fighting the simultaneous impulses to laugh, cry, and curse.

There was Stan, standing not ten feet away from him and wearing a suit, tie, and slightly squashed fez. His hair had gone gray even grayer than Ford’s had, and behind his glasses, his eyes looked wet.

As began to address Ford, rather than the kids, his voice grew more hesitant, and he started to stumble over his words. “It’s so good to — to see you again, Ford. I — I can’t believe you’re finally back with us…”

Ford, for his part, struggled to form a coherent sentence even more than Stan did and simply neglected to say anything, causing an awkward pause as he and Stan stared each other down.

“Well, what are you two waiting for?” the girl spoke up after a moment. “Go hug your twins already! Like this —”

She delivered another tackle-hug, this time to her brother.

“Oof! Mabel, I’m sure they know how hugging works —”

Stan slowly put an arm over Ford’s shoulder, and noticed Ford flinch.

“You’re not hurt, are you?” Stan asked him, in a hushed but anxious whisper. “You’ve been really quiet —”

“I’m fine.” Change the subject, change the subject, change the damn subject already Stanford — “Are these… your grandkids?”

Stan managed a laugh. “Mabel and Dipper? Nah, they’re Shermie’s. You’ll get along great with them once they stop fawning over you like excited puppies, don’t worry.”

He gestured towards the basement’s other two occupants, a red-haired teenager in a lumberjack hat and a young man in a question-mark T-shirt. “And these are my employees, Soos and Wendy.”

Wendy finger-gunned at him. “What’s up, Stan Two?”

Soos waved enthusiastically. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Pines!”

Ford sighed. “Stanley, how many people have you told about this portal?”

“Just this group,” Stan assured him quickly. “The FBI might’ve also known, as of earlier this morning, but Dipper did some weird scifi stuff and wiped their memories, so, uh, just don’t worry about —”

“He WHAT?”

Dipper sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “It was in self-defense! Arguably…”

Ford shook his head. “You know what, we’ll unpack the implications of that later. For now, I need a few hours alone with the portal to assess the damage.” And maybe to have a brief existential crisis in the privacy of my basement. “You should all head upstairs.”

“And then you’ll be ready to try on your new sweater and tell us where you’ve been all this time?” Mabel asked.

“What? Oh, uh… yes, of course. I’ll see you… what time is it, late afternoon? I’ll see you this evening, then. Now, hurry along!”

“Okay, Great-Uncle Ford,” Dipper replied without much enthusiasm. “See you soon, then…”

Stan lagged behind as the others as they filed into the elevator.

“Please don’t disappoint the kids,” he whispered as he passed Ford. “They’ve been so excited to finally meet you…”

“You haven’t told them about the argument, have you,” Ford said. It wasn’t a question as much as it was an accusation.

Stan looked like he was about to say something, but then decided against it, opting just to nod before stepping through the elevator doors.

***

Ford was presented with so much new information over the next few hours, some of it horrifying and some of it pleasantly surprising, that he was tempted to take one of his old journals and start keeping a list. He opted against it, because such a list would wind up full of things he wouldn’t want any nosey relatives like Dipper reading, but if he had jotted those revelations down, they might’ve looked something like this:

1. Stanley must’ve single-handedly caused a duct tape shortage throughout all of Oregon, considering how much he used to hold the portal together.

2. Stan has a photo of his great-niblings on his my desk, along with a variety of textbooks like “Quantum Physics For Dummies.” He also apparently kept my custom-made gloves, even though they obviously don’t fit him. Was he really too cheap to purchase his own pair?

3. As I feared, the portal has produced a rift, which I secured as fast as I could. It’s currently stable and locked away, but I worry that the containment unit’s structural integrity will be compromised by continued exposure. Must find a way to seal it more permanently — journey to CSO?

4. Mabel based the measurements for her sweater on Stan, so it was naturally made to accommodate a larger gut than the one I have, but it’s still very comfy. The turtleneck is just high enough to hide embarrassing tattoos. She’s currently knitting a smaller, matching “nerd sweater” for Dipper.

5. While I was in the basement, Stan made “Stan-Cakes” for dinner. Concerningly, he joked about there being hair in them, but they’re actually not that bad — at least, compared to the meager meals I often had to live on while wandering the multiverse.

6. Stan also gave me a giant bag of jellybeans that he’d bought, which is a genuinely nice gesture. Maybe I

7. STAN HAS STOLEN MY IDENTITY AND TURNED MY RESEARCH LAB INTO A MOCKERY OF EVERYTHING IT ONCE STOOD FOR

8. I tried not to act too angry over it, for the kids’ sake. They’re strangely invested in Stan and I having a good relationship full of hugs and only the most good-natured of sibling insults. Why couldn’t Stan have just told them the truth and made this simpler for all of us?

9. Dipper knows how to play DD&MD! Apparently Stan told him a week or so ago that I enjoy “nerd games,” and he went and prepared a whole campaign! I need to focus on better securing the rift, but I’m sure I’ll be able to set aside a few hours to play over the next few days.

10. Dipper has apparently idolized me ever since reading my journals, before Stan even told him an abbreviated version of the truth and he learned I was family. He wouldn’t be so enthusiastic to play tabletop games with me if only he knew why I made the portal

11. Mabel asked if there are any pictures of Stan and me as kids. Stan replied, very quietly, that he’d found several such photo albums in my study. I immediately excused myself from the table and headed to my room.

12. My old room is Stanley’s room now. Of course it is.

I can’t handle this any longer! The kids should be going to bed soon, and the second they’re out of earshot, I’m going to confront Stanley about all of this. There are things that NEED to be to be said, sooner or later.

***

“Just spit it out, Ford.”

“Spit what out?”

“You’ve been standing there, clearly about to say something but then not saying it, for at least a whole minute.” Stan sat down in one of the kitchen chairs, rolling the rag he’d been wiping the table with into a ball and hurling it into the sink.

“Just let me have it already!” he went on. “I’m not an idiot, and I can tell you’re clearly still mad at me and only getting madder the more you hear about the past thirty years, so just say it! Tell me all about how you’ll never forgive me, much less thank me for saving your life!”

“You didn’t save anyone.” Ford spoke without knowing where the words were coming from, without knowing whether they felt too harsh, or not harsh enough. “Before you dragged me back into this dimension, I was poised to destroy one of the most brutal dictators in the multiverse — a being with a personal vendetta against me, and his sights set on tearing apart our dimension as a whole! But you ignored all my warnings and reactivated the portal, creating a rift that could’ve easily allowed him into our world, had I gone a few more minutes without noticing it! It still might allow him into our world, if the containment unit breaks!”

Stan didn’t make eye contact. “Well, pardon me for not being up to date on the news about alien dictators…”

Ford ignored him. “For all you knew, I could’ve died decades ago! You would’ve put our whole dimension in jeopardy for nothing, and then where would —”

“No,” Stan interrupted. “I knew you weren’t dead.”

“Stanley, if you try and justify nearly tearing apart spacetime with some scientifically unsound bullshit about a magical ‘twin connection,’ I swear —”

“No, it’s not that.” Stan finally met Ford’s eyes, a nervous look on his face. “You’re probably not gonna be thrilled to hear this, but… look, I made a really dumb mistake, but I fixed it, so just don’t freak out, okay?”

“Stanley, what did you do?!”

“Okay, so first and foremost, I didn’t make any deals with demons, I swear. And I know that sounds like a real suspicious thing to deny, but it’s gonna be relevant in a second and I wanted to get it out of the way.”

Ford collapsed into the chair across the table from Stan, burying his head in his hands. “I can already tell I’m going to hate everything about this story, but it can’t possibly be worse than not knowing why you had to start with that kind of disclaimer, so… go on. Get it over with.”

“In your second journal,” Stan began, “you wrote about a mirror…”

He explained the whole story to Ford, from getting trapped in the mindscape to traveling through the multiverse to defending the kids from Nathaniel Northwest.

“Dipper and Mabel buried the mirror somewhere in the woods,” Stan finally concluded. “Unlike you, they didn’t write down where. We all figured it was probably for the best this way.”

“I can’t believe this,” Ford finally managed after a long period of silence. “You outplayed Bill Cipher. The chessmaster himself.”

Stan shrugged. “Eh, chessmaster’s kinda generous. I get the feeling he doesn’t spend a lot of time dealing with other con artist types. The second he ran into some other asshole who made a living by just lying and cheating and riding on other people’s coattails, all his plans started falling apart.”

Lying and cheating and riding on other people’s coattails… where have I heard that before? It was unlike Stan — or at least, unlike the Stan that Ford remembered — to admit something like that so openly, even if it it was partly true. And Stan had spoken those words with such loathing in his voice — a loathing that might’ve been partly directed at Bill, but didn’t exactly exonerate himself, either.

But Stan is only superficially similar to Bill, when it comes down to it, Ford realized. Bill can and will lie about everything, but Stan, for all his faults, is perfectly honest when he tells us and shows us how much he cares about us…

“I got the impression, between your journals and some stuff Bill said, that you two… kinda knew each other,” Stan said quietly. “And I wanted to… say I was sorry.”

“What for?” It was a ridiculous reply, because any other day Ford would’ve had no trouble thinking of things he’d like Stan to apologize for — but right now, lost in thought about liars and demons and differences between the two that really should’ve occurred to him sooner, Stan saying he was sorry couldn’t have been further from Ford’s mind.

“For not taking you seriously back in ‘82 when you were acting like people were after you! I thought you’d gone off the deep end, but if I’d known you were dealing with an actual, literal demon…”

“You would’ve taken the journal and left?”

“Fuck no! I would’ve stuck around and punched the shit out of the triangular bastard who put you in that state!”

“Then you would’ve known what I needed better than I did, at that point,” Ford blurted out, surprising even himself. “I should’ve just told you the truth.”

Stan stared at him. “You really mean that?”

“Well, my initial thought was that Bill would’ve been impossible to punch — but you’ve clearly proven you can accomplish that I considered impossible with regards to Bill, rendering that thought null and void, so… yes.” At some point in the conversation, Ford’s voice had involuntarily dropped to a low whisper. “I suppose I do mean that.”

Stan stared at the table in silence for approximately forty-five seconds before replying: “Ford, can we… talk? I don’t want to keep you up all night, but… I’ve got a lot of stuff I need to say, except I hardly know how to phrase any of it, and I just —”

“No, don’t worry about keeping me up. I — I have some thoughts of my own that I should probably… try and articulate.” Ford paused. “You have plenty of coffee in the house, right? For when I inevitably feel exhausted tomorrow despite having work to do?”

“Don’t worry, I got plenty.” Stan chuckled, but it died out quickly. “Ford, I… I know I haven’t exactly acted in a way that’ll make you actually believe this, but I’m so sorry about the science fair. It really was an accident, I swear it was, but — but I should’ve just told you as soon as it happened, instead of making it about that dumb boat —”

“Don’t call the boat dumb,” Ford snapped. “I was the dumb one. I was angry, and I kept being angry for a long time, but I never, ever wanted you to get kicked out — I shouldn’t have made a scene out of yelling at you right where Dad could hear! I knew exactly what he was like about money, I should’ve known what he’d do if he thought you —”

He had to pause to take a breath. Everything he’d said was accurate, despite his attempts to convince himself otherwise for the past forty-odd years, and abandoning that attempt at suppression felt like blowing a hole open in a dam and unleashing a flood that couldn’t be held back.

“That thing you said a few minutes ago, about being nothing but a liar and a cheater — that was something Dad told you when he kicked you out, wasn’t it? Because it’s not true, and it never has been. I need you to know that.”

“What? I — look, I don’t remember what Dad said, but if he did say it, then he was right for once. I could barely make a nickel of profit before I stole your name and your house, and turned your whole life into my biggest scam of all.” His voice cracked. “I appreciate what you’re saying, I really do, but —”

“Are you kidding? You restarted a work of alien engineering for which half the instructions were in code! And without a high school diploma, no less!”

“But you said it yourself, I did almost destroy the universe —”

“Damn it, Stan!” Ford slammed his fists on the table and Stan flinched, causing Ford to shake his head and sigh.

“I’m sorry. I — I just — I was under the impression that you wanted me back in your life. And I want you back in mine, so… will you just let me apologize without insisting that I should hate you for some reason?”

Stan sprung out of his seat, and for a moment Ford thought he was about to storm out of the room, but instead he pulled Ford out of his own seat and trapped him in a hug, burying his face in Ford’s shoulder.

And after his initial shock wore off, Ford hugged him back.

“I really missed you, Sixer,” Stan whispered.

“I missed you too, knucklehead.” Ford wriggled one arm out of Stan’s embrace to take off his glasses and wipe a tear away from his eye. “I wish I’d realized it earlier.”

Something went bump just outside the door to the kitchen, and Stan and Ford both whirled around.

“Kids, how long have you been listening?!” Stan gasped.

The younger twins stepped out from their hiding places — Dipper somewhat sheepishly, and Mabel without shame.

“Sorry,” Dipper told them, “but you were arguing so loud that we could hear you from the attic, and we got kinda worried —”

“I knew you two would stop being awkward around each other and hug it out sooner or later!” Mabel exclaimed. “And all you needed was to just sit down and talk!”

“Shouldn’t you two be in bed?” Ford asked, prompting Stan to gently elbow him in the arm.

“Yeah, like you never stayed up past your bedtime when you were their age.”

“Oh, come on,” Ford replied as he elbowed Stan back, but he was smiling. “You’re well aware that I would stay up to read about science, not eavesdrop!”

Stan got a wistful look in his eyes. “I dunno, I remember a lot more of turning the room into a blanket fort where we could make shadow puppets and tell spooky stories that definitely weren’t educational.”

“Those were simpler times,” Ford admitted. “I’d forgotten how much I missed those nights…”

“That settles it, tonight is sleepover night in the Mystery Shack!” Mabel declared. “Dipper, gather up all the blankets and pillows you can find! Stan, make some popcorn! Ford, I need your help designing the most epic blanket fort to ever loom over our living room!”

“I’m not sure —” Ford began, but Dipper cut him off.

“You’ve just been through a rough few decades, Grunkle Ford. You deserve some time to just get comfortable and have fun — and trust me, Mabel knows fun.”

“Well…” I suppose I’m not falling asleep on my own anytime soon, given how much I have on my mind. “If that’s what Doctor Mabel prescribed, then I guess I can’t say no, can I?”

***

Ford was the first to fall asleep, leaning on Stan’s shoulder as he began to snore softly, and Stan and Dipper followed soon after. Mabel snapped a picture, unable to resist the temptation to immortalize the goofy looks on her sleeping family’s faces, before draping a sheet over them and snuggling up next to Ford, munching on one last handful of popcorn before finally closing her eyes.

Somewhere buried deep in the forest, a ghost fumed from inside a mirror, and somewhere within the nightmarish dimension between all dimensions, a demon plotted vengeance — but for tonight, at least, the Pines lived in a world of their own, unconcerned with anyone else in the universe except their strange, little, recently expanded family.

***

End notes:

Ford meeting his great-niblings for the first time and seeing how they love him unconditionally: who are these strange children and why am I physically incapable of saying “no” to them

But anyways, that’s the end of To See The Unseen! …or is it?

Well, it’s complicated. I wasn’t initially planning for this to become a long-running AU, only intending it as a roughly four-chapter Halloween special — but as you can guess from the sheer length of this epilogue, I’ve gotten attached to this universe and still have ideas for a lot more things I want to explore.

The problem is, they’re pretty vague ideas, and I don’t have a lot of time to dedicate to developing them. So for now, this fic has reached its (hopefully satisfying) conclusion, but the possibility of a sequel is definitely out there! Maybe I’ll return to it next fall, who knows?

But anyways, thank you all for the wonderful support and comments, and particular congratulations to the people who predicted things like Nathaniel Northwest’s involvement! Seeing theories, even small ones, about my writing makes me happier than almost anything in the world <3

#gravity falls #stanley pines #stanford pines #dipper pines #mabel pines #pacifica northwest #soos ramirez #wendy corduroy #fic: to see the unseen #rosalia writes fic

29 notes · View notes

dontyoudarejudgemesworld · 5 years ago

Text

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far: Chapter Three

Alright guys, so this takes place after a bit of a time skip. While I know that time skips are like coma theories (as in a sort of cheap way out) this is meant to illustrate the sort of relation ship Bill and her 'uncle' are creating. It's a long one (6,000+ words) but gives some insight to the characters. I know not everyone is a fan of time skips but if I were to go from start to finish for this whole fic it would be longer then the whole Lord of the Rings series so forgive me. The next few chapters will all include some kind of time skip as the focus of them is more to establish and form relationships serving as kind of independent one shots instead of parts of the over arching story-line. I understand that this may be a bit unpopular but considering what's coming it seems the best way to structure it to achieve my end goal with out having it drag on forever. I told you this was going to get weird. Also as an aside, I know there were some grammar and spelling errors in the first two chapters, this is due in part to my normal Beta reader being unavailable (because adulting is time consuming). That being said I had a stand in look this over an took much more time in transcribing it so I hope most of the errors were addressed.

Once again it’s posted here on AO3. And now onward to the insanity.

~*~ One Year Later

Stan sat pantsless in the TV room wondering if this was what contentment felt like. Beside him on the floor sat Billie leaning back against the dinosaur skull staring at the trash TV that played across the screen. Murphy announced ‘you ARE NOT the father’ for the third time in a row and the young woman who sat beside him burst out crying as a man who looked like he should be selling used cars jumped up triumphantly to the jeers of the audience. Beside Stan, his ‘niece’ let out a sharp bark of laughter as she took a sip of her soda. He glanced at her and shook his head; she really was a strange one.

In baggy basketball shorts and a tank top, he could see the mural of tattoos she sported. The sleeve on her right arm was actually a bed of colorful flowers and vines with skulls woven in, macabre but beautiful if he was honest. On her left shoulder was a raven’s head that looked like it was tearing through her flesh that was a little to photo-realistic for his taste. She also had a peacock on her left thigh with a long flowing tail that curved around to end on her knee cap, and a small green dog robot thing from some cartoon or other with the word ‘DOOM!!’ in crude childish letters on her right ankle. Wild black curls spilled over her shoulders in an unkempt mane and dark circles around her eyes told him that she had spent too long at the Skull Fracture last night getting rowdy with the lumberjacks. “Told you, Stan that means you’re picking up the tab at Greasy’s,” she told him cheerfully and he let out an exaggerated groan. He should know by now that betting against her was a fool errand. Over the last year, he’d learned a lot of things about Billie. Like she had no fixed address just various post office boxes, and instead, she lived out of a duffle bag and motel rooms. She worked for herself and seemed to make pretty decent money though he had all but confirmed his suspicion that she toed a very fine line between what was legal and what wasn’t. In truth, she played it pretty close to the vest when it came to discussing her work but she’d let a few things slip and he was willing to bet that she was a bloodhound at least part of the time. Someone that loan sharks and crime lords used to find people that didn't want to be found. A dangerous and ethically ambiguous profession at best. And while he couldn’t help but dislike that idea he couldn’t exactly say too much on the matter, instead of taking some small comfort in the fact that at least she wasn’t a full-fledged criminal like he’d been. Maybe if she had kids one day they’d manage to be upstanding members of society, but something told him she wasn’t the settling down type. Overall throughout seven visits and quite a few calls they had developed a comfortable relationship. After the fourth visit, he’d broken down and invited her to just come to stay at the Shack instead of staying at The Twin Beds. Which he regretted almost instantly; Wendy and Soos had both noticed at once and plied him with questions. Fortunately, Billie seemed to have inherited his Ma’s snake tongue and smoothly lied that she was the daughter of an old acquaintance that he was helping out with a place to stay between jobs without batting an eye. Soos and Wendy had been a bit wary of her at first, but they’d come to warm up to her. She tended to help around the shop and was generally amicable flashing charming smiles and quick wit to win them over. He was fairly certain she’d won over Wendy by covering for her so she could skip out to hang out with her friends a few times but couldn’t prove it. And Soos’s natural good nature had caused him to warm to her quickly, especially when she started helping him come up with and build new attractions for Stan to take credit for. When he wasn’t leading tours and she wasn’t off drinking and brawling with the bikers of the town (a pass time she seemed to enjoy a tad too much in his opinion) the two of them usually spent their time watching trash TV in between runs to Greasy’s diner and the bar. Though after she’d started staying with him he’d discovered that the woman could cook. He’d told her at one point that she didn’t need to but she’d shrugged it off with a smile and that cool laugh of hers saying ‘I spent enough nights hungry and cold that it’s a pleasure to be able to make a decent meal.’ That thought had given him pause to wonder what exactly she’d been through; her mother certainly sounded like a piece of work, but it seemed like so much more. But as much as he wanted to know he didn’t ask. In fact, he hardly asked her anything about her past and she in return didn’t ask about his. Instead, they had found a strange sort of comfort in each other's company. Two broken people who had had hard lives that could spend time around the other without pretending to be anything more than they were. The first few visits they'd both been on their best behavior, Billie had kept her habits of beer and brawling to herself and he had cut back on the cigar and shoplifting. But after an incident involving Billie sucker-punching a guy for asking her if she wanted to come back to his room and put a smile on her pretty face after which Stan had declared it was time to leave snatching the guy's wallet as they fled they had come to a silent agreement that they didn't need to put on 'upstanding citizens' acts anymore. He had thought a few times that he vaguely remembered that this strange feeling of accepting each other for who they were was what family had felt like back when Ford and he had been children, but he couldn’t quite be sure. “Earth to Stan,” Billie’s smooth southern drawl broke through his thoughts pulling him back to find her head cocked staring up at him one brow cocked curiously, “You didn't hear a damned word I said did yuh?” she asked a smirk pulling on her lips. “Naw, I was too busy thinking how sick I’m gonna feel at dinner so I cant go to Greasy’s,” he told her to cover his sappy musing. She rolled her eyes as she shook her head. “The most expensive thing on the menu is 15 dollars. I know you're cheap but…,” she began only to be interrupted as an obnoxious commercial can on the volume raising ten octaves. “Are you completely miserable?” came Bud Gleeful’s voice. “Well I am now,” she growled putting one hand over her ear and glaring at the TV as the commercial played. Watching she cocked an eyebrow as Stan’s picture flashed up to be stamped with ‘FRAUD’, “What bullshrimp is this?” she asked incredulously, “That the chubby car salesman? He’s ten times the liar yuh are, how the hell does he have the gall to call yuh out like that?” “I know, right? At least my customers have some interesting stories to go with the junk I sell them,” he said indignantly, “And what’s worse is it’s working. He’s got his kid pretending to be psychic and the tourists are eating it up. Heck, even the locals are. Putting a real cramp in my wallet. I wish there was something I could do to hit him hard but nothing seems to be working. Even the Squid-abitt isn’t enough,” he railed shaking his head. Beside him, Billie cocked her head one eye squinted in thought as she stared at the TV. “What about someone who can talk ta the dead?” she asked and his head snapped over to her his eyebrows shooting up. “What? Well, yeah that would be a real money maker but who the hell do I know that can do that?” he scoffed as he took a drink of his soda, “Even I can't pull that off.” “I can,” she said matter factly and his face pulled into a look of bored skepticism. “Yeah, and I can teach a pig to fly,” he snorted and she looked up at him that sly smirk of hers slowly crawling over her lips. “Ya wound me, Stanford. I’m from the south where snake oil peddlers are ah’ dime ah’ dozen. Hell Bud’s one that’s why he’s pulling this off so well,” she told him in a slightly condescending tone, “Tell you what I’ll go double or nothing on Greasy’s. If I can give yuh a two-night show that will make more then you do in the same two days. That means two dinners at Greasy’s and braggin’ rights from now until the end of the world,” she challenged and he couldn’t help the lopsided grin that pulled at his lips. “Only if you get it up and running by Saturday,” he added, that would give her the rest of the night and tomorrow to prepare. Not to mention that those were the moneymaker days with tour buses on top of regular foot traffic. A challenge he was sure even she couldn’t pull off but she just grinned and put her hand out. “Prepare ta eat crow, Stanford Pines,” she told him as he grasped her hand causing him to let out a sharp hoarse laugh. “Even you aren’t that good kid,” he sniped unable to help the smug laugh that escaped him at the fire that lit in her eyes at his challenge. “Oh you’re fixin’ ta eat those words old man,” she warned as she hopped to her feet. “Hey what about dinner,” he barked as she turned on her heel to head up to the attic. “Time is money, Stanford. Order Chinese from that there place at the mall, card’s by the phone,” she snapped as she hustled off to get started. Watching her go he couldn’t help but smile. She really was something else, and he’d managed to get dinner without paying for it.

~*~

A day and a half…that was all he’d given her. And now he was thinking that had been too much time. The woman had to be some sort of witch. There was no other explanation as to how literally overnight she’d managed to pull this off. By Friday morning there had been flyers plastered all over town with the simple drawing of a closed eye with the words ‘Esmeralda. Two nights only at the Mystery Shack.’ And apparently, somehow everyone in town had heard the whispers about a real live gypsy that could talk to the dead by noon (he had a theory that Billie had somehow gotten Wendy to help her spread the word but once again couldn’t prove it). By Friday night there was a deceptively large tent set up around the totem pole that looked like it had come out of some storybook. It would have been impressive if he didn’t feel the impending loss breathing down his neck. His one hope was that she wouldn't be able to pull off the act; after all, she had become someone the locals recognized by now so they surely wouldn't buy it when they saw her. That was until he’d come downstairs Saturday morning to find a gypsy woman sitting at the table nursing a cup of coffee. Her skin held an olive tint, her eyes a rich deep brown, and her curly black mane was held away from her face by a scarf. She wore a frilled white shirt that hung off one shoulder and a skirt made up of layers of gauzy material in a rainbow of colors with a coin skirt hung low on her hips. Bangles crowded her wrists and a few on her ankle making her every movement musical. Staring at her she flashed him a bright grin. “Good morning Mr. Mystery I’m Esmeralda and I speak to the other side,” she greeted him in an accent that was European but not too strong. Staring at her it took him a minute to realize that she was his daughter. What gave it away was the bandage on her left hand, it was neatly wrapped and wouldn't be worth much note if he didn’t see the slight bump where her extra finger was folded across her palm to hide it. Shaking his head he stared open mouth at her, she looked like a cliche and it was brilliant. The tourist would eat it up. “How?” he demanded his voice cracking in indignant awe causing her to chuckle. “Lots of foundation, contacts, and years of practicing a dozen accents,” she told him smugly in that outrageous but somehow totally believable accent, “You can always admit defeat now Stan and I will only demand one of my dinners,” she offered. “No way toots. You never call a fight early,” he replied and she shrugged as she took another sip of her coffee. Arrogance rolled off her and he let out a low grumble, while he could appreciate her confidence speaking to the dead was a tall order. He opened his mouth to say something to her when Wendy's voice came from the gift shop. "Stan a tour bus just pulled up!" Glancing at 'Esmeralda' she flashed a wicked smile as she stood in a rattle of bangles and rolled her shoulders. Looking him up and down she couldn't help the smirk that pulled at her lips. "May the best con win, " she laughed resting all her weight in on hip as she stretched. Stan couldn't help but let out a bark of laughter that rose in him as a competitive fire lit in him. "Age and treachery with overcome youth and exuberance every time, " he reminded her and she shrugged as she moved to slip out the back door. Watching her go he shook his head getting his cane and flipping his eye patch down, he had to admit having some competition was making the day a bit more exciting. The next 10 hours were a whirlwind of activity as a flood of tourists poured through. He spun his stories with a flare he hadn't felt in years as Esmeralda flittered about. He had to admit that she was good; adding some rustic flare to his stories telling of sighting of the Cat-a-peid in the 'old country' and backing up the claim that the magic crystal they sold were steeped in the mystical energy of the forest. Between the two of them, they managed to create a fevered excitement in the visitors who all but threw their money at Wendy. But even as he reveled in what were surely record profits he couldn't help but notice that all of Billie's help was a double-edged sword. Even as she hyped his attractions she filtered about reading palms and offering charms that she made appear from her skirt. Shiny rocks and crudely carved figures on a bit of string, things he recognized from the bulk supply warehouse he bought his own junk from. A ten here and a twenty there that she slipped away with a smile and an offer to come see her tonight as the spirts had many messages and perhaps one was for them. And he finally got to see her speak to the dead, at least that was what it looked like. Gravitating to a cluster of tourists she placed a hand on her temple as she closed her eyes. Letting out a humming sound she peered up at the curious group. "There is a woman. Older, matronly who wishes to speak to one of you. Some connection with the letter T, " she said softly as she hummed again pausing for dramatic effect, "A name or hobbies maybe. Teresa. Or Teapots. Or Tammy. Or trains...tarting. Tabatha, maybe. I'm sorry it's hard to hear her. Her voice is a soft one but warm like..., " he began only to have one if the men, a middle-aged guy speak up suddenly. "Thelma?" he asked suddenly, "My Mema was named Thelma, " he said excitedly and a murmur went through the crowd. Billie smiled softly as though listening to someone speak before nodding. "Yes, Thelma. She passed suddenly, but not unexpectedly right, " she told him and he nodded his face pinching ever so slightly with emotion. "In her sleep, but she was 98," he supplied and Billie smiled gently as she nodded. "She wants you to know that it was painless and she is at peace, " she told him kindly as she shifted as though leaning closer to someone to hear, "She says that you're worrying over something financial. A promotion or payment of some sort. You are concerned that it won't happen, that it keeps you up at night. You are sleeping and it worries her. Do you know what she's talking about?" she asked and he nodded silently the crowd around him starting in wonder. "Ye...yea. I know what she's talking about, " he choked and Billie nodded sympathetically, "She says that you don't need to worry. That it will all work itself out. She says to tell you to have faith, that God wouldn't have you face a trial you could not handle, " she said her eyes flattering closed once more, "She says she loves you and that you need to read for your own health." For a moment silence hung in the air before the man moved forward and threw his arms around Billie thanking her. Around them, the crowd had tripled in size and an excited clamor rose from them all talking at once. It was amazing and a total sham. He'd seen this sort of psychic before, they were all over daytime TV. And while he had no idea how they did it he knew in his bones they were fakes. But even so, the audiences ate it up including the one now swarming around Billie. "Oh she's good, " he growled as he stood watching her work the crowd telling them that she would speak to the spirits tonight and they were welcome to come, no latter than 7 and cash only for her small admission fee. She only asked 20 dollars so she could continue her travels. And every single one ate it up like starving men. She smiled at just the right moments and spoke just the right word. And that when it hit him. This wasn't her first time pulling this con. She was poised and practiced like she did this every day. This was an old hand to her, a well-practiced grift not some idea she"d randomly thrown out. He'd assumed she was just winging it, she was a PI not a psychic. At least she was now. Just like he was Mr. Mystery now. But before that, he'd been a lot of other things. And it appeared before being a PI Bill had been other things as well. In that moment he realized that he'd been played, that he'd assumed she'd been bluffing without knowing her tells. She was a con artist just like him, and he should have known. Betting against her was a fools errand, and not just when it came to daytime talk shows. She was his daughter after all, and it seemed some of his talents had passed on.

~*~

Billie sighed as she she leaned against the support of the porch, a cigarette in one hand and a can of Pitt cola in the other. She felt like a whole new person after a hot shower to wash off the ton of bronzer and foundation she’d used to make her pale skin darker. It was nice to be out of that stupid heavy skirt and back in sweats and a t-shirt. Pre-dawn just started to brush the sky above the trees with thin lines of pinks and oranges the trees shadows stretched out like fingers of darkness trying to resist the coming day. It got light so early up here it made her feel like it was later (or earlier) then 3:30 in the morning. It really was beautiful though, like a Rob Boss painting. She had to admit when she’d first rolled into the little Organ town the year before she had found the picture perfect place a bit unsettling. It had been the plan to show up meet Stan and never look back, after all she’d never thought he would want anything to do with his brother’s vagabond daughter. Guess that’s what she got for thinking. It turned out her uncle seemed to want something to do with her after all, and surprisingly she wanted something to do with him.

After her research she had expected to find a cold logical man who had no room for sentimentality. While she knew scientific papers were written specifically lacking any emotion his had seemed extra sterile. Even the forwards to the where normally the researcher had some kind of tone had been devoid of anything to give her a glimpse of personality. But instead she had found a man who was the furthest thing from a cold clinical researcher. He was warm in a gruff kind of way and she liked it. It occurred to her that the time line of his published works ending and the Murder Shack coming into being seemed to overlap with Stanley’s death. Perhaps, the sudden change in profession had also been a sudden change in personality, grief was a powerful thing after all.

Or perhaps he’d simply decided that this strange little corner of the world was too wonderful to waste with his head buried in in books. And it was wonderful. And weird. Over her first few visits she’d began noticing strange shadows and odd movement in the trees. And while she’d written off the little men she’d seen rummaging in the diner’s dumpster and the Moth Man she’d seen batting at a street light outside the hotel one night to tricks of the mind and the local legends getting to her, she’d quickly realized there was something inherently odd to the place. Not bad just odd. But once she’d come down one morning to find Stan luring a walking camp fire out from under the porch with marshmallows she’d realized it wasn’t in her head. Instead she had decided that she rather liked this place, after all she was an odd person so she didn’t feel so out of place. It was like she could breath freely in this strange little town with her eccentric uncle.

Her uncle, that was still a strange thought. Billie had never really had a family, her mother had always been too busy being a drunken whore druggie to be anything else. And while she technically had four older siblings they’d all been to busy finding their own way to survive to bother with anything as trivial as bonding. Hell, after she’d been taken into state custody she hadn’t seen any of them for years, a few she still hadn’t seen even after all these years. It had always been her, she’d learned early to never depend on anyone else. Survival was the end game and others had always been passing acquaintances to her. But for some reason she kept coming back here, kept calling to check in on Stan. Perhaps, it was that he never asked any questions or judged her for smoking and drinking. Or maybe it was that she knew that the tired eyes and world weary voice she had was a mirror of his. Not that it mattered, she had come to really appreciate the time she spent with the old con.

It was a nice change of pace. Most people seemed to think that being a PI was like the movies; chasing down leads, sneaking around to get photos, and all that, but it wasn’t. While sure it had its exciting moments (especially when it came to some of her less than reputable clients) it was a lot of time sitting around and waiting for someone to show up. It was digging through mountains of trash and public records to find a lead. It was asking a lot of questions that never got answered to people who didn’t want to talk to you. Over all it was exhausting in more ways then one. She’d always spent her time between jobs partying or holed up in a hotel room getting stoned and sleeping, but now she found coming here to be a much better past time.

There was always some new creation Stan was working on or some project to help Soos with. She had found walks in the woods were eventful as she seemed to run across odd little creatures and weird rocks no matter what direction she went. Even when it was boring around the Shack she at least had company. And Stan sure made for interesting company. He was always ready to snipe at each other or make stupid bets over anything. Heck, the last two days had been the most fun she’d had in years. She had enjoyed watching the old con slowly realized that this wasn’t her first rodeo, though, she knew she had shown her hand and he wouldn’t fall for it again.

Then again even she was surprised she’d pulled it off. While the gypsy shtick had been something she’d acquired as a teenager the rest had been dumb luck. She was constantly surprised that for such a nowhere town Gravity Falls seemed to have everything. 24 hour copy shop to make the flyer? Yup, Shenkos beside the mall. Party rental shop with a thematically appropriate tent? You bet. Costume shop? Yup. Local teenagers willing to spread rumors and wield social media like a finely honed weapon for $20 bucks? Well, everywhere had those but Wendy was a sweet kid who seemed more then willing to recruit help. It just went to show that helping the kid ditch work a few times had been a good idea. Still, some how it had all come together and she’d been able to back up her cocky words. Even with the expenses she’d pull in over a grand in a weekend beating Stan by a hundred buck and some change.

So she’d won, though, since she had told Stan to keep it since it was his customers to begin with she had basically bought herself two dinners and some expenses but useless bragging rights. In truth, she didn’t need the money, she got paid well for her work and had nothing to spend it one. She didn’t pay rent since she refused to settle, and aside from weekly hotels, food, and smokes she didn’t buy anything really. So she had a huge bank account that she just let sit for when she decided to retire. Plus, she’d liked the idea of helping Stan out, if in no other way then sticking it in Bud’s face. How dare he call Stan a fraud when he sold junk cars at astronomical prices? A small self aware part of her knew that she had done it because she cared about the old man, but she just ignored it.

Shaking her head she snorted, she had to be tired to be getting all introspective and squishy. Feelings weren’t her bag, she’d just done it for fun. At least that was what she told herself. Shifting slightly she groaned, her body felt heavy and her eyes kept trying to close. She was exhausted two days and nights of putting on a show took a lot out of a woman. Not to mention, she’d had to strike the tent after last night’s performance so the rental company could pick it up first thing, and of course she and Stan had sat up counting out their respective earnings. Stad had recounted hers twice growling she’d padded them, before finally admitting defeat. The look on his face had been worth it.

“Alright kid, how’d you do it?” came a gruff voice and the smell of cigar smoke pulling her eyes from the trees. Looking over at him she flashed a smile earning a half hearted scowl in response and a dismissive grunt, “Come on out with it. It’s only fair I know how I got beat.” Smirking she let out a sharp bark of laughter.

“It’s called cold reading,” she told him causing one of his eyebrows to shoot up in question, “You size up a crowd; age, clothes, general stuff you know. Then you throw out a line; something vague enough to not be a definitive statement but specific enough to be convincing. One you get a bite you reel them in, double talk so they tell you everything but it seems like you told it to them and bam you talked to their dead aunt,” she explained as she took a drink.

“Sounds like it would be easier to actually talk to the dead,” he grumbled, “Yur Grandmother would be proud. So where on earth did you learn to pull that off? It doesn’t seem like somethin’ you’d learn for a party trick,” he observed as he took a long puff off his cigar groaning as he settled back on the couch. Shrugging she sighed as she moved over to sit next to him staring out at the dark woods tucking one leg under her.

“When I was round about 16 I ran off from the group home. I was tired of being passed around homes like a fruit cake at Christmas yuh know. So I landed at a traveling fair after a while and met the Amazin’ Jezabel. She pulled the same gimmick and taught me how since my weird hand gav’ ah bit of a witchy vibe. I traveled with them for a year or two, ‘fore getting sick of making her a ton of money and gettin’ hog spit in return. I went out on my own and was good at it,” she told him cracking her neck a touch of melancholy settling over her as she recalled the days she spent running the con at fairs all over the south, “I probably could have gone on with it, got one of those shows on TV, but after a while people started coming to me looking for real answers. Sure, stuff like this weekend is fine. Tellin’ people that their grandma loves them or their dog is always hangin’ around them don’t hurt nothin’ It makes them happy, but when you have people comin’ to yuh lookin’ for their missing kid offering their life’s savin’s for answers it changes the game. I couldn’t bring mah’self ta lie to them. I didn’t want to give ‘em false hope so I quit. I was tryin’ to feed myself not cheat desperate people, yuh know?” she finished before calming up. She hadn’t needed to say all that, and it kinda broke the unspoken agreement they had to avoid anything too honest about themselves.

Glancing over she expected to find him either half listening to her ramble on or looking at her with the inscrutable look of mild disappointment he got when she came in half cocked with a split lip from brawling with the guys at the Skull Fracture. Instead his brows were furrowed and the corner of his lips pulled down in a half frown. It wasn’t that he looked disgusted at her words more…saddened by them. For a long moment they just stared at each other before he looked away taking a drink of his own soda.

“What?” she asked finally ignoring the slight feeling of insecurity that his silence had brought on.

“Nothin’. I was just thinking about your Dad,” he said his voice slightly rougher then normal, “That’s impressive though. You got any other tricks up your sleeve?”

“Naw, nothing worth noting,” she said as she looked away from him resting her elbow on the arm of the couch and leaning her head on it. For a moment they were silent, sitting there smoking before her eyes slid over to him again.

“What about him?” she asked unable to stop herself. While she excepted that Stanley was gone, and he seemed to be a subject Stanford didn’t seem keen on she couldn’t help but wonder about Stanley. He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes knowing what she was asking at once. For a second she thought he wasn’t going to answer before he shrugged.

“Nothin’ really. Just that you’re a lot like him. He may have been a cheat and a liar but he never preyed on desperate people. He’d probably be proud of you for that,” he said as Billie barely suppressed the pleased smile that threatened to surface at his words, “Though if he’d have known about you’d you could bet you wouldn’t have even been in a position to have to decided who were acceptable marks,” he added under his breath like he was speaking to himself not her. Smiling she looked back out at the trees.

“Yeah well if that were the case I wouldn’t have been able to get some free meals and braggin’ right now would I?” she chuckled to break the heavy silence that had settled on them and she saw his lips twitch from the corner of her eye.

“Yeah, yeah live it up kid. You cheated and you know it. That was dirty trick, I wouldn’t have made that bet if I’d have know you were a professional psychic,” he grumbled and she chuckled as she finished her drink and stood stretching.

“I’m goin’ ta bed. I’m beat,” she announced with a small yawn, “You should get some sleep too, Stan yuh look like hell,” she added glancing down at him causing him to chuckle.

“You ain’t the boss ah me kid,” he grumbled as she couldn’t help the stern look that crossed her face causing him to laugh, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll finish then and head to bed,” he assured her waving his hand at her. Smiling she yawned again as she headed in.

“Night Stanford.”

“Night Billie.”

#gravity falls #stan pines #Stanley Pines #billie pines #lost pines daughter #gf #au gravity falls #the apple doesnt fall far #AO3 #gravity falls fanfiction #screaming pointlessly into the void #Mystery Shack #tent of telepahy #pines family #pines family bonding #ugh I suck at hashtags

6 notes · View notes

residentgoodgirl · 6 years ago

Link

Chances are that you know what made Lorena Bobbitt famous in 1993, even if you aren’t old enough to have experienced it in real time. Just over 25 years ago, Lorena — who now goes by her maiden name, Lorena Gallo — cut her husband’s penis off in the middle of the night, driving away with it and throwing it into a field. The trial and media coverage were sensational, as you might expect them to be around any penis-chopping case — and Lorena’s story became a punchline, an oddity, a way to consider supposedly hotheaded Latina women.

Amazon is now premiering a four-part docuseries about her, aptly called Lorena. The documentary, produced by Jordan Peele, covers the trial, of course, but also explores the context around it that people have largely forgotten, or never learned to begin with: the ways Lorena’s husband, John Wayne Bobbitt, allegedly abused her; the cruel treatment she received from the media, her tender age (she was 24 years old); and how this case brought the issue of marital rape to the forefront for the American public.

The timing is excellent, if a total bummer. The embers of the #MeToo movement are still burning, marital rape continues to be a surprisingly controversial topic for the courts to grapple with, and everyone is still afraid of immigrants. Lorena is compelling and well-made, a narrative that focuses both on the salacious details of the case (wanna see a severed dick? Girl, you got it) and Lorena’s activism in preventing domestic violence and sexual assault. It acts as both a historical primer for those who didn’t live through Lorena’s trial and a rectification for the way she was treated, not just by her husband but by late-night talk show hosts, journalists, and the public. “The media was focusing only on the penis, the sensationalistic, the scandalous. But I wanted to shine the light on this issue of spousal abuse,” Lorena told Vanity Fair in an interview this past summer.

As a documentary that reassesses a notable ’90s scandal with the benefit of a couple decades’ hindsight, Lorena is one among many recent examples. And these retrospectives tend to fit a similar pattern: We are asked or encouraged to reconsider a woman whose public image was linked inextricably with a man’s bad behavior, whose reputation was destroyed while the man got away relatively consequence-free.

2013’s Anita was a reconsideration of Anita Hill’s allegations of sexual harassment against then–Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas. The documentary recast her not as an angry black woman trying to keep a man from his deserved job, but a reserved, smart attorney who merely told the truth about a man about to be given a tremendous amount of power. (Sound familiar?) 2014’s The Price of Gold gave Tonya Harding room to tell her version of the story of her career and the 1994 attack on Nancy Kerrigan, replete with class context and details about her own abuse.

The 2016 documentary O.J. Simpson: Made in America, though primarily about Simpson, also forced audiences to rethink how his murdered ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson was treated by him and by the press. And 2018’s The Clinton Affair included an interview with Monica Lewinsky herself about her affair with President Bill Clinton — long considered a salacious sexual scandal, with Lewinsky cast as a slut trying to fuck a powerful man — and reframed the incident as one in which a young intern was seduced (and then thrown under the bus) by the goddamn president, who should’ve known better.

These reconsiderations aren’t limited to documentaries. In June, journalist Allison Yarrow published the book ’90s Bitch: Media, Culture, and the Failed Promise of Gender Equality, which includes Hill, Harding, Lewinsky, and Lorena in telling “the real story of women and girls in the 1990s, exploring how they were maligned by the media.” Podcasts like Sarah Marshall and Michael Hobbes’ You’re Wrong About… also serialize reassessments of history, often focusing on women mired in scandals. They’ve done episodes on Amy Fisher (the “Long Island Lolita”), televangelist Tammy Faye Bakker, Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton (the “dingo’s got my baby” woman, who never actually said that), Courtney Love, and Lorena herself.

“America is going through this period of realizing how much we misread what was right in front of us,” says Marshall. “We came to the realization that we elected a reality TV president. We elected someone whose image was made by reality TV. That kind of understanding can allow us to go back and say, “What else did I just swallow that I was sold?”

Documentaries that revisit scandals are no doubt valuable in that they can profoundly change the way we consider the past and hopefully, the future. But they also pose a certain temptation to get too comfortable: There is some risk that we might watch something like Lorena, pat ourselves on the back for figuring out who the bad guy really is, and walk away thinking that the past is the past and we won’t make the same mistakes again. But what Lorena Bobbitt’s story meant in 1993 “is not that different from what it means today,” says journalist Kim Masters in Lorena. “It’s the same story.”

Then, too, there’s the reality that these reconsiderations tend to revolve around trials or public hearings, which provide a clear way to revisit the past through criminal records and court transcripts and recorded interviews. These were big, splashy stories that now get big, splashy reappraisals. But the world is filled with smaller, more mundane injustices and oversights, and most of those who suffer will never make it to court or Congress, or receive a high-profile opportunity to seek vindication.

Watching something like Lorena feels important, but it also feels lousy, because not enough is different now. Reconsiderations like these can’t be antidotes if we ignore the cure — if we continue to dismiss women and other marginalized, vulnerable people when they’re being abused, or taken advantage of, or otherwise maligned. Lorena receives a tremendous amount of empathy in Lorena, as she should. But why can’t we extend that kind of empathy to more people like her today, instead of waiting two and a half decades to rethink how we’ve behaved?

Apology tours for sexual misconduct are practically rote at this point: Transgressors get plenty of airtime to beg for forgiveness for touching butts, to come out of the closet, to recommend a supposedly great pizza dough cinnamon roll recipe. Meanwhile, victims or survivors are largely forgotten after the accusation becomes public. It’s relatively new that women like Lorena or Hill are getting some space to tell their stories on their own terms, and still rare that the opportunity is afforded to women of color in particular.

Lorena is timely not only in the sense that conversations about sexual abuse and assault have taken center stage over the past year, but also because anxiety about immigrants taking advantage of the system and of poor, unwitting white Americans is currently at a fever pitch. When Lorena and John Wayne Bobbitt got married in 1989, she was 20, and in the US on a student visa. “There’s women who are opportunists, gold diggers, they use you as a stepping stone to advance their career,” Bobbitt says, referring to his ex-wife in an interview in Lorena. “These women, they know that their backup is [to] use law enforcement to their advantage by saying, ‘You know what, if you leave or you fuck up this relationship or you don’t get my citizenship, I’ll call the cops.’”

Despite Bobbitt’s own laundry list of arrests — many of which are for domestic violence against past partners — he still uses Lorena’s citizenship (or lack thereof) as supposed proof that she was unstable, demanding, and manipulative. “She was obsessed with having her American dream, her American dream, her American dream,” Bobbitt told Vanity Fair. “She just wanted too much, too fast.” And even in a supposedly silly reality series like 90 Day Fiancé (a show about bad American people marrying other, noncitizen but still-often-bad people), it’s clear that many of the same biases against immigrants that were at play in the Bobbitt case are alive and well today.

Lorena takes great pains to draw similarities between then and now, reminding viewers that domestic violence is still a secret shame for countless women, and that it’s still incredibly challenging to get away from your abuser. The last episode of the series is called “The Cycle of Abuse” and opens with a slideshow of women’s bruises and scars from domestic violence. “This is about a victim and a survivor and this is about what’s happening in our world today,” Lorena recently told the New York Times.

And that may be true of what Lorena experienced at the hands of the media, as well as her husband. “If Lorena’s story hit today, Fox News would take the place of Howard Stern, and the 24-hour news cycle would focus on what she did, rather than what he did,” says Kim Gandy, the president of the National Network to End Domestic Violence. Documentaries like Lorena are timely for a reason — a bad reason — and instead of feeling smug for finally listening, 25 years later, it’s worth taking the opportunity to see what we can do better now.

While the outrage around Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation to the Supreme Court this past fall might have sounded deafening depending on who’s inside your political bubble, the result is ultimately the same as it was for Clarence Thomas after Anita Hill’s testimony. He’s in, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Meanwhile, Christine Blasey Ford, the woman who came forward to detail Kavanaugh’s alleged assault, was left unable to work and in need of a security detail.

I was 3 years old during Lorena Bobbitt’s trial. I was 7 during the Clinton–Lewinsky scandal. I was a few months old for Anita Hill’s hearing. When Blasey Ford testified late last year, I was 27. And yet somehow her testimony still felt like unbearable déjà vu, as if I had lived through this already and already knew the inevitable conclusion.

Today, though entertainment industry figures like Harvey Weinstein and Les Moonves are facing some long-overdue music for accusations of sexual assault and harassment, it’s taken decades for that to happen. For figures like Bryan Singer and R. Kelly — both the subject of recent reporting that details sexual abuse allegations stretching back many years, both of whom continue to deny any wrongdoing — it remains to be seen what lasting consequences, if any, they will suffer. Their accusers, like Lorena, have been vulnerable people from already marginalized groups — in these cases young, primarily queer boys and black girls — who have been either painted as liars and manipulators or outright dismissed.

What’s upsetting about these stories is not just the abuses they describe, but the public indifference they often get in response; the rumors and allegations around Kelly, for example, have done astonishingly little to tarnish his celebrity or dim public affection until very recently, following the release of the Lifetime documentary series Surviving R. Kelly. And it’s taken 10 years since Michael Jackson’s death for a significant documentary about the allegations of child molestation against him, HBO’s Leaving Neverland, to crack through the surface.

Ten or 20 years from now, will we be watching a heartbreaking five-part docuseries on the alleged victims of Bryan Singer? On the many accusations against him, on how they were ignored for years, on how they sort of broke through in early 2019, how they quickly petered out, and how he continued to get work — and watch his movies win awards — even after the allegations were made public? (Hopefully not.) Is years or decades of hindsight the only way any of us can begin talking about things like domestic violence or sexual assault? The distance might make it feel safer to discuss, especially when powerful people are involved, but it also means the conversation starts far too late.

Lorena also reminds audiences that she was the subject of wild cruelty from the media and comedians during and after her trial. “David Letterman used to call me his girlfriend,” Lorena says in the docuseries. “The jokes did bother me, because I didn’t know to handle it. People were talking about my background. They were saying I was just a hot-blooded Latina woman. It hurts my heart. It hurts my brain. It hurts my whole body.”

Howard Stern practically made a career out of promoting Lorena’s ex-husband — he had Bobbitt on his show repeatedly and during his 1994 Rotten New Year’s Eve Pageant special, raising money for Bobbitt’s medical expenses. During the pageant, Stern airs a mocking reenactment of Lorena’s crime. “A penis is a terrible thing to waste,” Stern says, holding two pieces of a fake member, cut in half, aloft. The Bee Gees performed a parody song that included the advice “Don’t ever piss off your wife.” The metaphor is so blatant it’s embarrassing: A man’s penis is his power, and this woman had the audacity to try to take it away. She needed to be put in her place. “To me it was just cruel,” Lorena told the New York Times. “Why would they laugh about my suffering?”

In hindsight, jokes like these may seem to be in such bad taste that it’s a wonder Stern still has a career. But jokes at the expense of victims and marginalized people haven’t gone away, and neither have most of the comedians who make them. Amy Schumer used to crack jokes about Mexicans being rapists; she apologized for it years later. Sarah Silverman did blackface in 2007; it took her until 2015 to apologize for it (sort of??). Louis C.K. is, currently, mocking the Parkland shooting survivors and joking about his history of masturbating in front of nonconsenting women, all to applause from comedy club audiences. Every Saturday, Michael Che and Colin Jost turn Saturday Night Live into a Statler and Waldorf sketch where they complain about having to learn a few new gender pronouns. None of this will age well, but even in the moment, plenty of us don’t find these “jokes” all that funny to begin with.

The only tangible thing to learn from watching Lorena, besides the full facts of her case, is that the strongest advantage people like Lorena have on their side is time. You just have to wait. You have to wait out the cruel late-night jokes and the sexist media coverage about you and the gossip and conjecture and slut-shaming and mockery. You have to wait two and a half decades, and then maybe, if your case was a big enough deal, someone will make a movie about you, and you’ll get a chance to wear a nice blouse and trousers and sit on a couch and tell your story from the beginning, without interruption, for the first time in your life. The world will turn in your direction, and your abusers will look worse and worse with every passing day (even if they’ve evaded any concrete kind of consequences), but first — you have to wait.

Scandalous stories like Lorena’s are also undoubtedly complicated by the fact that they don’t only boil down to a bad man and a woman wronged. Even in light of widely publicized and well-produced reconsiderations, not all viewers will be on board with Lorena, who did commit a crime, just as Lewinsky is far from a fully redeemed figure now in the public eye. And both women will always be punchlines to some people; even for the few who do get their turn to reframe the stories of their own lives, not everyone is going to listen.

“We always want to find a victim, a villain, and a hero,” says Marshall. “We accept the story we’re told. Having everyone filed away as a certain kind of person and every event filed away as a certain kind of story is how we impose order in the world.” But if you’re able to turn away from that tidy story, and hear what the people who lived it are really saying, “you get closer to the truth.” ●

CORRECTION

February 19, 2019, at 6:34 p.m.

The name of the Michael Jackson HBO documentary Leaving Neverland was misstated in an earlier version of this post.

#news #tw: domestic abuse #tw rape

98 notes · View notes

billvsamerica · 6 years ago

Text

Sin City

We’ve all noticed the lingering stare of a pervert.

On the high street when you’re shopping for Christmas presents or in the cinema when you’re watching the late night showing of Toy Story on your own again. But imagine you’re in a city full of them. Tight polyester trousers with flared bottoms, beer bellys flowing over the top of cheap plastic belts, topped off with a nice scruffy pair of Reeboks from the late 90s. But enough about my dad, this is the story of our latest adventure west.

A savory couple in a far from savory place

I always thought Vegas was a debauched place. That’s where it gets the nickname - Naughty Little Town for Naughty People. Prostitution and weed are both legal, but somehow in a much less savoury way than Amsterdam. With all that being said, we could never have known that the most morally reprehensible act we would witness would take place on the connecting flight from Chicago to Vegas.

Some of the most exciting parts of a holiday go on in the walkway of the airplane. Thoughts flood your mind: ‘Where will we be sitting?’ ‘What are my chances of survival if this thing goes down?’ ‘Who will the “third” person be?’ ‘Hopefully, there isn’t a “third” person!’ ‘Oh God, this things coming down, I’ve had a premonition. I need to warn everybody else on board.’ ‘No, don’t ruin it. It’s fine. You’re being stupid.’ ‘Oh, Jesus Christ! I just signed our death warrant.’ ‘I wonder if they have a TV?!’ etc.

Shelby and I took our spots next to the "third" person in the window seat, who we immediately disliked just for existing in a space near us, and opened our books: Shelby was reading an interesting book about the Appalachian area of America and taking on a challenging Sudoku puzzle. I was reading a different kind of book, still just as challenging though, the instructions on how to work the TV.

After the internal struggle of whether it’s okay to ignore the air stewardesses safety announcements, the passengers settled into the flight. The aircraft was not quite Wright Brothers old, but it was missing the mod cons of a transatlantic flight, like being able to choose an individual movie. However, it did have DirectTV channels. Shelby and I stuck on the Oscar nominated Can You Ever Forgive Me?.

I glanced over at the "third" person's film choice. I couldn't recognise the show, but the vibrant colours and teenage actors led me to believe it was some sort of kid's show. I looked at the man. No, it wasn't a large child traveling alone. It was definitely a man - a man wearing a tight t shirt that accentuated his man breast. I poked Shelby, she grunted her usual response:

"What the fuck do you want, fuckwit?"

She said, in a loving way though.

“What show is that?”

She glanced across at his screen.

"i-Carly"

"No, you Shelby. Now, what show is that?"

"It's called i-Carly. Now will you shut the fuck up?"

Bit weird. Maybe he just put it on by mistake. Probably not watching it.

Fast forward three hours, I-Carly is still on his TV. And the man is inches from the screen. I looked at him intently. Does he not know we can see him? He's not in some sort of invisible perv’ chamber, although I'm sure those exist somewhere in Vegas.

I looked down to make sure nothing dodgy is... Unfortunately, the man was definitely touching himself. Now, I'll give him a bit of credit. His hand was outside the trousers, but that only made it slightly better. Suddenly, it dawned on me - Shelby was in the middle. I wasn’t worried about her, per say. He was clearly into much younger people, but she might accidentally be hit with his flailing elbow or something. She looked across at him then up and me and mouthed,

"What do we do?"

For the last thirty minutes I tried my hardest to put the man off. I gazed out the window and loudly said a range of off-putting phrases:

"Wow! Look at that skyline," "Can't believe we're flying in the sky right now!" "Do you know why they stopped serving peanuts on flights? What about the people allergic to pretzels? Nobody ever thought of them!"

If that lot didn’t put him off, nothing would.

As we walked from the airplane into Vegas airport, we discussed what we should do. I was going to confront him, and say what? Don't do that sort of thing, you sick freak. I was going to grab him by the scruff of the neck, shake him and say,

“That's digusting, you sweaty little cretin!”

I was going to be the hero and stop all bad things happening forever everywhere... I... I... I picked up our bags and we got in a cab to Caesar’s Palace.

The taxi from the airport into Vegas took us adjacent to the strip. Huge replica buildings designed to look like other things. It’s all smoke and mirrors, a mirage in the middle of the dessert like the magic shows that run every night of the week. After taking a detour we didn’t ask for and racking up a huge bill, we arrived at Caesar’s Palace.

Anybody fancy a crap? (That’s not my dad, but a man in a shirt)

We walked through the modern building designed to look like the Colosseum - a gaudy Rome rip off - and bumped into our own ancient relics in the form of my parents. We hugged. They were here again, but their bags weren’t.

That night, we had a quick go on the slot machines, or as cool locals call them, ‘the slotties’ (and lost a bit of money). My dad became slightly enamoured with the virtual blackjack game, and then we all headed to bed to recuperate for the next day. The city may never sleep, but we were certainly going to.

The next morning, we looked out through our curtains at the view of the famous Belagio Hotel’s dancing fountain show, the Eiffel Tower, and a giant poster of Donnie Osmond. We had a fat breakfast, then walked down the strip.

Along the way, we ducked into a casino for a cheeky lil dabble. Dad spotted the virtual blackjack, and I saw his eyes light up. He was straight on it. We watched eagerly with anticipation as he turned his $20 into $5 and then into $25 and then into $15 and then he cashed out. With his cashed out voucher, I jumped onto a huge slot machine that I had no idea as to the workings. I hit a few buttons, and it flashed on the screen “Extreme!”. The lights started strobing and the lines span like the slick tires on a Ford Escort. My cash started building along with my adrenalin.. 15-20-25... It kept going up and up and stopped, eventually, at $85. I took the money out and left the casino $85 richer because I didn’t give my dad his investment back.

What a start! Maybe I was a natural. Next stop, World Poker Tournament, but first, the off license for a can of beer that I could legally drink on the high street. It was like being back in Worcester on a Tuesday morning, I mean Wednesday afternoon, I mean Saturday evening.

The strip was packed with hen-dos, lad’s holidays, and waddling families who wanted a change from Disney. Me and my dad walked passed a man selling his hip-hop CD. I declined.

“Forget you then in your Bill Cosby sweater,” he said and laughed.

This drove me to grab another beer from a CVS. Inside, the cashier said,

“What a lovely sweater!”

Me and dad-livin’ it large Vegas

As you can imagine, I had very mixed emotions on the jumper and have not worn it since.

Shelby and mom stormed ahead up the strip, leaving me and dad to be awkwardly approached by dancing girls requesting a photo with us. It’s as if we looked like a couple of creepy blokes or something. We walked next to a bar where a man was strapped to a wooden chair and being forced to drink a strange green liquid by a woman in her underwear. Normally, this might be cause for alerting the authorities, but not in Vegas.

A group on a stag do walked passed us and my dad turned to me,

“Did you see that shirt? I need to get one of those!”

I had to tell him that it said “VAGITARIAN” not “VEGETARIAN”. He didn’t want one anymore.

After walking the equivalent of a half marathon up and down the strip, Shelby wanted us to recuperate at one of the West’s staple restaurants, In and Out Burger - a place known for juicy hamburgers. We’d heard that they also had veggie burgers for the three of us who don’t eat the carcasses of dead animals.

Our number came up and we sat down at a table that had just been vacated. The remnants of ravenous tub tubs lay around and an In and Out employee was kind enough to offer to clean it up for us. She picked up a tray with the remains of a sweaty burger on it. In slow motion, the burger, wrapper, and discarded sauce tumbled off the tray and down, down, down, onto my dad’s cream trousers, the only pair he had as his bag was currently somewhere in Uzbekistan.

Turned a corner in Nevada to see the New York Skyline (and a rollercoaster)

This hilarious event only slightly made up for the fact that the veggie burger was two pieces of lettuce and a tomato between a couple of soggy bits of bun. As the name suggests, we were in and out of there real quick.

The next day we went to Fremont Street, the second most famous street in Vegas after the strip. A biting wind whipped through the dimly lit passageway lined with souvenir stores, Irish bars and strip clubs. Grubby looking men stood along the street staring wildly at the tourists passing by. They held cardboard signs that read quite witty things like “I’ll look after your wife while you gamble” and some less witty - “Horny!”.

A woman danced on a huge stage with barely any clothes on while a bunch of homeless people rocked back and forwards in front of her, totally unaware, it seemed, that she was there. An abandoned car with red flashing lights moaned and groaned as a zombie popped out the top. In fairness, it was advertising a local Walking Dead Exhibit, but I wouldn’t have been that surprised if it was actually happening on this street.

Having survived Fremont Street, I decided another dabble was in order (I was continually having these dabbles the whole time, but I’m only going to tell you about the times I won). I selected my machine, one without a chair that looked very old, and put in my note. The machine started to freak out and I knew I was onto another winner - $160 coughed up this time. I was a genius. A genius I tell you and definitely did not spend all that money very quickly in other machines. Ahem.

Join me next time as I recount the next stage of the adventure, our journey to the grandest canyon of them all and beyond to the red rocks of Sedona, Arizona.

#lasvegas #comedy #lol #travelblog #travel #america #nevada #slots

4 notes · View notes

xxdecipheringgravityfallsxx · 7 years ago

Text

To those STILL saying Ford doesn’t care about his family---

I’ve noticed that some people say that Ford doesn’t care about his family. I don’t know where people get that from but----

UHHHH excuse me---

When Ford and Stan were fighting and after Ford accidentally burned Stan against the machine, he immediately apologized to Stan, with a concerned look on his face and asked him if he was alright.

Remember, Ford never wanted to fight with Stan in the first place, he just wanted his journal and he wasn’t aiming to hurt Stan. It was just rotten luck that Ford pushed Stan into the hot part of the machinery here.

Then when Stan finally brought Ford back and after they told their stories and after the issue with the US GOV was taken care of

The first thing Ford did after that was say a joke with Stan to try and ease the tension between the two of them if only for a little bit.

Stan: Look at us, when did we become old men?

Ford: You look like dad!

Stan: UEGH! Don’t say that!

Ford and Stan: both smile and laugh together

You can see it in Ford’s expression that he cares about Stan. it isn’t until Stan brings up the fact Ford still hasn’t thanked him. Which is a VERY touchy subject between the two of them right now.

After everything that happened it was NOT a good time for Stan to be asking for a thank you. Yes Stan earned that ‘thank you’ by working 30 yrs of his life to bring Ford back.

However you can’t force someone to be thankful, otherwise their thank you won’t be sincere. Also Stan did take Ford’s life by taking over his identity and also his house.

Yes Stan did this to bring Ford back, but you’d probably be pissed if someone took your identity. It’s identity theft, even if the theft was for a good reason.

The timing wasn’t the right timing. Also as far as we know, Stan never did apologize for breaking Ford’s machine. Even if it was an accident. They were both in the wrong. Stan for not apologizing to Ford, and Ford not thanking Stan.

But forgiveness doesn’t always come easy. If someone ruined my chances at a big opportunity even if it was an accident I know I’d find it hard to forgive them.

And even thank them if they did rescue me from another dimension, also not to mention Stan was the reason Ford got stuck there in the first place.

I’d not be too keen on forgiving someone that cost me my dream school or rob me 30 yrs of my life by sending me to another dimension even if it was an accident.

So I can totally understand Ford not thanking Stan in the moment, especially since Ford just got back.

Anyways after that Stan basically tells Ford to stay away from Dipper and Mabel and that they were his only family left.

As you can see Ford appears to somewhat tense up at this statement.

Ford obviously still cares. He’s just taken aback and doesn’t know what to say and is still upset. It would be hard for anyone to say anything under those circumstance - much less reconcile with someone. Especially after they storm off and away from you.

So it’s obvious Ford still cares DEEPLY for Stan. It’s just been so long that they have a hard time reconciling with each other because of all the bitterness they’ve harbored against each other.

Ford also cares deeply for Dipper and Mabel.

Ford dropped all his research just to spend some time with Dipper to have fun with him.

Then when they need to protect the shack from Bill, Ford trusts Mabel enough to give her a crossbow and for her to go get the Unicorn hair.

Then after Mabel comes back with the Unicorn hair, Ford praises her for protecting her family and calls her a good person. And this is heartwarming because through the entire episode the Unicorn was telling Mabel she wasn’t pure of heart and that she was a bad person.

Look at the way Mabel smiles, her eyes glisten and she has tears in them. Ford just brightened the horizon on one of her worst days ever.

Then when Ford and Dipper go into the alien site to find the adhesive to fix the rift, Ford puts his life on the line for Dipper. Ford didn’t even think about himself in that moment, he jumped in to protect Dipper even if it could have cost him his life.

Then after Ford is taken into the space bubble, he tells Dipper to save the world and that he’ll have to do it without him. Ford wanted Dipper to get to safety and not worry about him.

Ford wanted Dipper to escape, to save the world, so Dipper -and the rest of his family- and the entire world could continue to exist without fear of “The End Of The World” over their heads. Ford didn’t want Dipper to risk himself for him. Ford would sooner be imprisoned than let his nephew get harmed.

Then in Weirdmaggedon, when Dipper rushes off to find Mabel, instead of Ford letting Dipper run off he stops him. Because he doesn’t want Dipper charging out into Weirdmageddon recklessly because he could get hurt.

Then after failing to get rid of Bill, Ford without any regard for his own safety- instructs Dipper to run and get down so he can be safe from Bill.

Ford doesn’t CARE what Bill does to him he only cares about what Bill could possibly do to Dipper. And we all know later that Bill doesn’t have ANY issue in killing children.

When Mabel and Dipper use the Shack as a weapon, Ford cheers them on even though they aren’t there.

And then Bill even says: “Wow those kids really care about you...and you really care about THEM DON’T YOU?!!”

We literally see the absolute fear in his eyes when Bill speaks about torturing Dipper and Mabel. Ford is terrified of this and looks as though he’s about to beg Bill not to hurt Dipper and Mabel.

You can hear it in his voice that he doesn’t want Dipper or Mabel hurt and that he CARES immensely for them and wants to keep them safe.

Then after Dipper and Mabel free everyone, including Ford, Ford is so relieved to see them safe. He scoops them up in his arms and proudly proclaims that they did it. And then he laughs happily and in relief.

Then Ford apologizes for his hand in causing the end of the world. And he begs Stan to help him fix it. Just look at the way he looks at Stan! Ford is obviously flooded with guilt and remorse for everything that’s happened and I’m not just talking about the end of the world either.

He also appears that he’s apologetic towards Stan as well and when Stan tells him to thank him - Ford finally thanks Stan. He looks annoyed by Stan’s attitude but since it is a dire situation it is understandable- but he finally thanks him.

Also this is just a smaller piece, but look at how proud Ford looks when Mabel literally spraypaints a interdemensional demon in his eye! Look at his huge goofy nerdy grin!

Then when Dipper tells Ford and Stan to run and save themselves, you can see that Ford is like: OH HELL NAH! THAT’S A SUICIDE MISSION! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! - Ford is as equally terrified for Dipper and Mabel as Stan is in this scene. They know Bill won’t hesitate to hurt the kids.

Then after Dipper and Mabel run away Ford yells out to them: NO IT’S TOO DANGEROUS! Both Stan and Ford are ready to rush after them but get stopped by Bill.

Then when Stan says:

“I can’t believe this! The kids are gonna die and it’s all my fault. All because I couldn’t shake your stupid hand!”

Look at the way Ford looks over to him. Ford looks so distraught and guilty. Look at the hurt in Ford’s eyes. You can’t tell me Ford doesn’t care about Stan at all. He shares in Stan’s pain and guilt here.

And then when Stan blames himself, Ford tells him not to. Ford is taking responsibility for his part in Weirdmaggedon and reassuring his distraught brother that it isn’t his fault.

Then Ford is willing to risk the entire world on the chance that Bill will free the kids. He’s willing to give up the secret to the barrier if it means no harm comes to Dipper and Mabel.

After Stan suggests that Bill goes into his mind, Ford refuses. And flat out tells Stan that he has to do it. Ford knows that there’s nothing Bill wants in Stan’s head and that this deal might be the only way for Ford to save the kids and Stan as well.

He wants to save not only Dipper and Mabel, but Stan as well. However they come up with a plan and switch clothes to trick Bill.

Now look at Ford, look at how unsteady his hold on the gun is. He obviously doesn’t want to erase Stan’s mind. The very thought of erasing Stan’s mind is causing him pain.

This scene right here shows how much Ford cares for Stan despite everything and it shows how much Ford doesn’t want to lose Stan. Even if it’s the only way to save the world.

Then after Stan’s mind is erased, Ford is overcome with grief fearing that his brother is gone for good. He calls Stan their hero and he hugs him.

Look at how broken he is! He’s convinced that Stan’s memories are gone and that he’s lost Stan forever. This is the first time we’ve seen Ford cry in the series. And what brought him to tears was the fact he feared his brother was gone.

Nothing ELSE has brought Ford to tears except this. You cannot sit here and tell me Ford doesn’t care! LOOK AT HIM! HE’S FUCKING DEVASTATED!

Then when Stan starts to remember, look at that big smile Ford has! And then Ford laughs along with everyone else while Mabel helps Stan to remember! Ford is so happy that not all hope is lost for Stan; and that Stan is going to be able to remember who he is.

Then after Stan remembers and the kids have their party, Ford finally revives their childhood hopes of going on an adventure of a lifetime. Showing that Ford wants to make full amends with Stan. So they can both make up their mistakes towards each other.

And then when Mabel and Dipper are getting ready to leave, and when the Bus driver says animals aren’t allowed - we can see Ford show the driver his gun. Ford was about to throw the fuck down with this man if he didn’t allow Waddles on the bus.

Then at the very end as Dipper and Mabel finally leave on the bus, we see Ford put his hand on Stan’s shoulder. Ford is silently reassuring Stan that he’s still got one family member by his side; and that he’ll always be by his side no matter what.

IN CONCLUSION DON’T YOU EVER DARE AND SAY FORD DOESN’T CARE ABOUT HIS FAMILY! OR I WILL LOOK FOR YOU, I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL BEAT YOU WITH A FISH!

#Gravity Falls #Stanford Pines #Gravity Falls fandom #Stanley Pines #Mabel Pines #Dipper Pines #Don't you dare tell me Ford doesn't care about his family #I will beat you #with a fish #if I must!

70 notes · View notes

ed-edward-blackbeard · 6 years ago

Text

long-ass fucking questionnaire

yoooooooo, I did it all.

I’m starting this at 1:15 in the morning. Let’s see how long it takes me to finish. cause I’m a masochist, apparently.

1: My name? do I HAVE to? Okay, it’s Kelly. But I really hate it, so usually I go by Kel. A few lucky ones get to call me Kelly, but only because I love the way my name sounds when they say it. There, my dirty secret is out.

2: Do I have any nicknames? A plethora. Artie (after the fish), Fluffie (long story) Jellybean

3: Zodiac sign? The most Libra Libra that has ever Libra’d.

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? I don’t play video games. But I play a few online games, so Doctor Who: Legacy

5: Book/series I reread? The Black Dagger Brotherhood by JR Ward (Series) The Harry Potter books Morgan Chase and the Gods of Asgard by Rick Riordan (series) Good Omens (Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett) Watchers (Dean Koontz) Insomnia (Stephen King)

6: Aliens or ghosts? I have nothing against either. But I enjoy writing about ghosts more.

7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? Stephen King

8: Favourite radio station? NPR, strangely enough.

9: Favourite flavour of anything? Lemon. I still thoroughly enjoy chocolate, but my radiation therapy changed the way it tasted.

10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? Awesome. Both with and without the addition of the adjective “fucking”

11: Favourite song? My standard answer is, ‘Everything Louder Than Everything Else’ by Meat Loaf, because I truly love that song, but lately I’ve been on a Game of Thrones kick, and i’m stuck on “The Rains of Castamere” by Sigur Rios and “The Bear and the Maiden Fair” because it’s such a Jaime x Brienne song.

12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? Bold of you to assume I have friends.

13: Favourite word? sycophant, gestalt, melancholy

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? After about, oh, ten years or so, yes I did. It’s a new thing for me. usually I hold grudges until the end of time.

15: Last song I listened to? “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin

16: TV show I always recommend? Current: American Gods, Better Call Saul Cancelled/ended: Hannibal (NBC), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

17: Pirates or ninjas? Drink up me hearties, yo ho! Yo ho, yo yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.

18: Movie I watch when I’m feeling down? Usually something from the Disney/Pixar Ouvre. Except UP. UP makes me sob in the first ten minutes, so no.

19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? Du Hast, Rammstein.

20: Favourite video games? Puzzles and Dragons, Doctor Who: Legacy, Dragonvale

21: What am I most afraid of? Snakes, without a doubt.

22: A good quality of mine? I’m creative

23: A bad quality of mine? I don’t think before I speak, so i sometimes don’t end up saying what I mean to say and hurt/offend in the process.

24: Cats or dogs? Bi-petual with a preference to cats

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? Bruce Campbell. Alien Apocalypse, anybody?

26: Favourite season? Winter

27: Am I in a relationship? No, although I do love someone very much

28: Something I miss? Being a kid, with all the possibilities of my life still ahead of me

29: My best friend? @mummyholmesisupset and @silvarbelle. they tie.

30: Eye colour? Hazel-greenish, with a little bit of sunflower around the pupil

31: Hair colour? Normally, a pretty chestnut brown. sometimes I bleach it or dye it.

32: Someone I love? @silvarbelle, she’s my sister-from-another-mister, and I will throw hands for that bitch in a heartbeat.

33: Someone I trust? @mummyholmesisupset because she’s earned it a hundred times over. @silvarbelle because I love her like family.

34: Someone I always think about? My grandmother. she died when I was seventeen, and I still miss her.

35: Am I excited about anything? My birthday

36: My current obsession? Gam of thrones, Doctor Who, Hannibal, the MCU

37: Favourite TV shows as a child? Thundercats, Scooby Doo, 60s Batman, My Favorite Martian, the Monkees

38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? No, thank God.

39: Am I superstitious? Not overly, but I do have a few.

40: What do I think about most? Writing

41: Do I have any strange phobias? Is arachnophobia strange?

42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind it, dear God.

43: Favourite hobbies? Writing, reading, pinning things on Pinterest that I absolutely mean to do but probably never will

44: Last book I read? Watchers by Dean Koontz, and I’m in the middle of Fear by Bob Woodward

45: Last film I watched? Backdraft. “You go, we go.”

46: Do I play any instruments? Not since band class in the early 90s.

47: Favourite animal? Cat.

48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? ??????? I don’t think I do.

49: Superpower I wish I could have? Manipulation of probability

50: How do I destress? Writing, watching Netflix, watching Mythbusters

51: Do I like confrontation? Like it, no. Good at it, yes.

52: When do I feel most at peace? When it’s quiet and the only noises are the clicking of the keyboard and my cats’ purring

53: What makes me smile? Cute animals, stupid puns, comments on fic

54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? Off, except for my TARDIS nightlight

55: Play any sports? Fuck no.

56: What is my song of the week? Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

57: Favourite drink? 1% milk.

58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? A few months? It was to @mummyholmesisupset in fact.

59: Afraid of heights? Desperately so.

60: Pet peeve? Anchovies, people who don’t use coasters, and men who smoke in public places. (yes, it’s a movie reference. And if you get it, I will send you a shiny nickel)

61: What was the last concert I went to see? Black Sabbath’s Theater of Madness

62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? Fuck no. I am, in fact, omnivorous and diabetic.

63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? To be Daphne Blake in Mystery, Inc.

64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? Yep. Not fun.

65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? Hannibal’s. I’m not rude for the most part, so I have a pretty good chance at surviving.

66: Something I worry about? My future. Cancer has shortened my life span, my relatives are all 65+, and I am an only child with no children of my own (Thank Christ) I haven’t worked since 2004 (been caretaking sick parents) so I’m concerned.

67: Scared of the dark? I love the dark, so no.

68: Who are my best friends? @mummyholmesisupset @silvarbelle

69: What do I admire most about others? That they can do things, very well, that I can’t do. What that is varies from person to person

70: Can I sing? Not very well, but I don't let that stop me...

71: Something I wish I could do? Write professionally. I love writing fanfic, but I'd kill to be a real, published author.

72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? Pay off bills, go back to college, buy myself a car (pickup, Ford F-150 with fog lights and automatic steering), pay off my mom's bills, hire an aide to stay with Mom, move to my favorite city and hire a winter-time driver because I can't drive for shit in the snow/ice.

73: Have I ever skipped school? Nope. Often wanted to, never have.

74: Favourite place on the planet? Asheville, NC. Technically, it's Montreat, which is right outside of Black Mountain and is a township unto itself. It's also home to Montreat Bible College, established by Billy Graham, and the Chapel of the Prodigal. It is also home to Lake Susan, one of the most quiet and beautiful places on God's green earth, and I would live by that little lake if I could. I have photos in my Google Drive, I need to share them sometime. You'll see what I mean. But I love Asheville, too, downtown and all.

75: Where do I want to live? Asheville, NC. Except I can't drive in the snow and ice, so there's that.

76: Do I have any pets? I have two cats, Samhain Murray (Sam) and Margaret May (Maggie, Maggie May, Margaret Ann)

77: What is my current desktop picture? On my laptop, it's Oswald Cobblepot (Robin Lord Taylor) from Gotham. On my tablet, it's the Superman logo. On my phone, it's my cat, Sam.

78: Early bird or night owl? Night owl, given that it's 2:30 AM and I'm still working on this.

79: Sunsets or sunrise? Sunsets, please.

80: Can I drive? i don't know, can you? I can.

81: Story behind my last kiss? I kissed my cat on his cold wet nose because he was headbutting me and so I kissed him.

82: Earphones or headphones? Earphones, sadly. I prefer headphones, but headphones are uncomfortable because I wear glasses. So, earbuds.

83: Have I ever had braces? Did you? I don't know. Did I? Yes, I did, I fucking despised them.

84: Story behind one of my scars? in late 2004, I started getting very ill. I couldn't keep food down, I was puking all the time, pale and everything, so I went to the ER and found I had a mass the size of a basketball growing in my abdomen. I was shipped to the local cancer center because of the cancer markers, and at the tender age of 27, I got a hysterectomy. I was cut from my navel to my diaphragm, old school, because the mass was twenty-four pounds. Benign, thank goodness, but it had started to go necrotic and I was well into blood poisoning (the reason I was puking and sick all the time). I still have the scar, and always will.

85: Favourite genre of music? instrumental celtic.

86: Who is my hero? I don't know that I have one, as such

87: Favourite comic book character? SUPERMAN, BABY. SUCK MY DICK BATS

88: What makes me really angry? Mistreatment of people and animals. Abuse of people and animals.

89: Kindle or real book? Both have their benefits, but I love the weight and feel of a real book. I love the portability of a Kindle.

90: Favourite sporty activity? Marathon TV-binge

91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? There's NOTHING RIGHT in schools

92: What was my favourite subject at school? Creative writing

93: Siblings? Nope, my parents saw their mistake and decided never again.

94: What was the last thing I bought? A pair of Sperry deck shoes with Han Solo and Chewbacca on them.

95: How tall am I? 5'6

96: Can I cook? yes, I can. perhaps not well, but I can cook enough to feed myself and my mom.

97: Can I bake? Yes, I can. I'm a SLIGHTLY better baker than a cook.

98: 3 things I love? Writing, my cats, Christopher Reeve

99: 3 things I hate? So many things. Um, spiders, snakes, creepy clowns

100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? at the moment, girl. when I was in school? boy.

101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? General rule? Boys, or girls that are kind of not-ultra-girly.

102: Where was I born? North Carolina, that hotbed of conservative bullshit. I'm actually ashamed to admit that's where I'm from.

103: Sexual orientation? I'm working on figuring that out. Let's call it bisexual for now, and I'll update you as it happens.

104: Where do I currently live? North Carolina, sadly.

105: Last person I texted? @mummyholmesisupset

106: Last time I cried? Today. I was watching WALL-E on STARZ, and UP came on while I was finishing dinner. By the time Ellie was miscarrying, I was bawling.

107: Guilty pleasure? I'm not really guilty about my pleasures, but I do have a soft spot for mind-candy romance novels. Like Johanna Lindsey, Nina Bangs, Harlequin, etc.

108: Favourite Youtuber? I hate Youtubers.

109: A photo of myself. uh, no.

110: Do I like selfies? fuck no.

111: Favourite game app? Doctor Who: Legacy

112: My relationship with my parents? It varies from moment to moment. My dad never really understood me, and after he got sick and was in a coma for awhile, it changed him. so there was never really a chance for him to try. My relationship with my mom is... complicated. Sometimes we're BFFs and finish each other's sandwiches, and other times, we hate each other's guts and would gladly murder each other and bury the bodies in the backyard.

113: Favourite accents? Spanish, English/Scottish, all the Asian ones (the gentleman that runs my local Chinese restaurant speaks Cantonese and Mandarin both, and I could listen to that all day.)

114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? London, Dublin, Cork, Kerry, Scotland, Italy, Greece, New York, Japan, Los Angeles

115: Favourite number? 15

116: Can I juggle? Nope

117: Am I religious? Eh, not really. I go to bible study mostly because I have half a crush on the preacher.

118: Do I like space? YES.

119: Do I like the deep ocean? Not so much.

120: Am I much of a daredevil? NO

121: Am I allergic to anything? Ciprofloxacin, IV contrast dye, Mobic/meloxicam, Zofram/ondansetron, and a ton of fragranced products (I have sensitive skin that breaks out at the drop of a hat.)

122: Can I curl my tongue? Yep!

123: Can I wiggle my ears? Nope!

124: Do I like clowns? Yes, if they're cute. NOT PENNYWISE, I HATE PENNYWISE. But I love Tim Curry's Pennywise. But that's because Tim Curry is awesome.

125: The Beatles or Elvis? Elvis. I'm an Elvis chick.

126: My current project? "By Inches We Fall," a Game of Thrones fanfic that's Jaime Lannister x Brienne of Tarth. I'm also working on some Christmas projects involving spray paint and recycled K-Cups

127: Am I a bad loser? Horrible loser. I hate to lose.

128: Do I admit when I wrong? sometimes. depends on who I'm talking to, and the tone of the discussion. if it's a civil discourse, yes I will. If we're shouting? I'm not backing down.

129: Forest or beach? Forest. A forest doesn't leave sand in your butt crack.

130: Favourite piece of advice? Mind your own business and you won't be minding mine

131: Am I a good liar? I used to be.

132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? Slytherin/what the fuck is a Divergent/12

133: Do I talk to myself? i do, and sometimes I answer

134: Am I very social? HAHAHAHAHA NO.

135: Do I like gossip? sit by me and pour that tea, bitch.

136: Do I keep a journal/diary? I do, on paper, and you'll never read it.

137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? i failed every physics test I took in high school. after becoming a Mythbusters stan, I retook an online physics test and passed it.

138: Do I believe in second chances? depends on the situation and the person, but generally not. i have been known to give them, though.

139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? oh man. I'd like to say I'd turn it in untouched, but. I also know I've got medication pay for (mine and mom's), her insurance to pay for (i'm uninsured), groceries and gas to buy, so in all probability? I'd keep the cash but return everything else.

140: Do I believe people are capable of change? No. People are who they are. they might change what they think or what they believe in, but who they are? No.

141: Have I ever been underweight? AHAHAHAHAHA NO

142: Am I ticklish? ...there's no good way to answer. If I say no, you'll tickle me to prove it. If I say yes, you'll tickle me. But yes, I am. especially my feet.

143: Have I ever been in a submarine? WTF? No.

144: Have I ever been on a plane? Once, and never again

145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? Rebel Wilson as me, America Ferrera as @mummyholmesisupset, Kristen Bell as @silvarbelle, Jessica Lange as my mother, and I can't think of anyone else.

146: Have I ever been overweight? Always, am currently, though I'm working to lose it. I've lost about 50 lbs in the past year, so I'm doing okay

147: Do I have any piercings? Three in my right ear, two in my left.

148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? Hannibal Lecter.

149: Do I have any tattoos? nope, but I want a couple.

150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? .....i haven't made a single good decision....

151: Do I believe in Karma? it bites me on the ass often enough, so yes I do.

152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? Glasses, and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to switch to bifocals next time

153: What was my first car? 1979 green Dodge Aries K

154: Do I want children? If they're furry and four-legged, sure.

155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? um, probably my uncle with two frigging masters degrees

156: My most embarrassing memory? I met John deLancie at a Star Trek con once, just coming down the stairs from his room to the con floor. And I fell all over myself talking to him because I was like, fourteen or something and he was tall and handsome and genuinely happy to be tthere and I was basically every fangirl's nightmare.

157: What makes me nostalgic? watching old TV shows I loved as a kid, or reading books I haven't read in years.

158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? Yep

159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? brains. i'm practically a zombie.

160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? Purple and fuschia equally.

161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? Not as such, no.

162: What do I hate most about myself? Everything?

163: What do I love most about myself? I like my hair.

164: Do I like adventure? only the ones in books.

165: Do I believe in fate? not really.

166: Favourite animal? Felis cattus

167: Have I ever been on radio? nope

168: Have I ever been on TV? nope

169: How old am I? 42

170: One of my favourite quotes? "Lock the door. And hope they don't have blasters."

171: Do I hold grudges? you bet your bippy I do. (what is a bippy and why are you betting it?)

172: Do I trust easily? No.

173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? I hope I have. But I suspect I haven't.

174: Best gift I’ve ever received? A single cupcake and a rosebud, given to me by the nurses at the cancer treatment center because it was my birthday and I was having radiation and felt absolutely shitty. so they surprised me with a little cupcake and a rose for my birthday and it made me feel better.

175: Do I dream? Yep.

176: Have I ever had a night terror? Yep

177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? I remember some of them, like the Continuing Adventures of Roxy, the Pink Police Poodle.

178: An experience that has made me stronger? My breakups.

179: If I were immortal, what would I do? Sleep a lot, read even more, learn everything that I never had before.

180: Do I like shopping? I do!

181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? Bank robbery.

182: What does “family” mean to me? family is a group of people, not necessarily related by blood, who have chosen to band together in love and support of each other.

183: What is my spirit animal? According to my meditation quest, it's a wolf. But I'm not really comfortable saying that because it wasn't a real vision quest, I'd have to go to the res for that (i have Cherokee blood on my father's side) and I haven't.

184: How do I want to be remembered? As someone who tried to be good.

185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? Woodcarving.

186: What is my greatest failure? I dropped out of college in the 90s, when I had an accident that broke my ankle. I never went back.

187: What is my greatest achievement? five-year survivor, cancer-free!

188: Love or money? Money, sadly.

189: Love or career? love

190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? Am I an observer like the Doctor? If yes, then I would go back to the Globe Theater and see all of Shakespeare as it was originally performed. Am I living there, stuck? Future, please.

191: What makes me the happiest? Writing.

192: What is “home” to me? Where I lay my head.

193: What motivates me? How I feel, what I see, something that fascinates me.

194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? Wake me up when it's over

195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? Depends on if they're hostile or kind.

196: A movie that scared me as a child? The Dark Crystal. I love it now.

197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? V-8 juice

198: Zombies or vampires? oooh, both. But vampires.

199: Live in the city or suburbs? Suburbs

200: Dragons or wizards? Dragons all the way, man. I love dragons.

201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? Its always the same. I'm being chased by someone/something, it's always getting closer, and it sounds like a loud, roaring motorcycle. And I'm always running or racing through the Black Lodge from Twin Peaks (the place with all the red curtains and the black/white zig-zag floor. That place freaks me the fuck out, and ever since the show aired, it's been in my nightmares)

202: How do I define love? Love is not love, that alters when it alteration finds, nor bends with the remover to remove; O no, it is an ever fixed mark, that looks on tempests and is never shaken.

203: Do I judge a book by its cover? sometimes. I've found great books in the bargain bin that way. I've also found a few stinkers. Come to think of it, I've found a few people that way too. Some great, some stinkers.

204: Have I ever had my heart broken? I have.

205: Do I like my handwriting? i do, actually

206: Sweet or savoury? Savoury

207: Worst job I’ve had? Market research interview administrator. I was one of those assholes that flagged you down in the mall and made you watch a commercial or a movie trailer, or try a snack product and then asked you a billion and five questions about it

208: Do I collect anything? Funko POPs, Superman memorabilia, Star Wars and Star Trek memorabilia, penguins, mooses

209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? my dragon ring, my pocketwatch

210: What is on my bucket list? I don't have one

211: How do I handle anger? Depends. I sometimes hold it in, but most times I blow like a firecracker. hot and hard, and then I cool off.

212: Was I named after anyone? my dad's uncle Kelly, and my mom's father Ray (i'm Kelly Rae)

213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? me? sarcastic? Perish the thought.

214: What TV character am I most like? Dobie Gillis.

215: What is the weirdest talent I have? I can twirl just about anything like a baton and not drop it

216: Favourite fictional character? Ashley j. Williams

3:24 AM. Son of a bitch.

#everything you ever wanted to know about me #but were afraid to ask

7 notes · View notes

a-million-stories-for-you-blog · 6 years ago

Text

Stanford Pines Application: Accepted

Name/Alias: Rosenthorne (Or Jess or Thorne)

Preferred Pronouns: She/her/They/Them

Age: 29

Time Zone: Central

Discord name: *Private* (since you already know who it is 8U)

Triggers: Not much. Bit of a crime buff so I’ve seen/read a few morbid things. Or a lot. Don’t like feet.

Personal/About Yourself: I can be nice and squeaky clean or I can be downright morbid and not so clean. Depends on the situation. I’m a stickler for canon when it comes down to it. Not much for romance but I can write for it when the mood allows. I have written a LOT of smut in my day though. I love the strange, the unique, dark humor, dark stuff in general.

Fandom: Gravity Falls

Character Name: Stanford Filbrick Pines

Headcanon Age: Young to Adult (But like 15 minutes older than Stan XD)

Headcanons About Character:

-Asexual, aromantic. This is mainly for the fact that in Journal 3 he wrote that he found ‘romance more baffling to him than the greatest mysteries of the universe’. If that doesn’t scream asexual, I don’t know what does.

-Despite being asexual, he is very touch starved. He wants people to talk to him. He doesn’t mind hugs, holding hands, platonic cuddles, laying side by side while talking about anything really (it doesn’t have to be science based), etc, from those who are very close to him. He will always do what he can for those who mean a lot to him. Any unsolicited touching without his acknowledgement of who it is will usually end with someone’s arm twisted behind their back and on their stomach on the floor out of reflex.

-Has a hard time opening up to people and is still learning on how to do so. This is the result of being viciously bullied growing up with Stan as his only friend. This makes being touch starved even worse.

-He did love DDMD in middle school on up and tried to join the local clubs full of other nerds who adored the game, however he was shunned and avoided like the plague due to his extra fingers. Undeterred, Ford continued to make OCs and strategies in hopes that one day he’d have friends to play it with.

-He would quickly finish his tests in school and, instead of turning it in, ‘accidentally’ leave it somewhere that Stan could cheat off him. While Stan did this, Ford would use this time to draw or read paranormal books.

-Terrified of swimming in open water at a young age, opposite of Stan’s fear of heights. He slowly grew accustomed to the idea of sailing when Stan started to weave the idea of adventures on the high seas. He did have a fascination with boats despite his fear and he had tried learning to swim in a community pool, making him a mediocre swimmer. After he arrived in Gravity Falls, he included swimming in the lake as part of his exercise regimen. He had hoped to swim the areas Nessie or Ogopogo had been rumored to be.

-After Ford closed the curtains on Stan when he was kicked out, Ford sunk to his knees and cried while hugging a pillow. Time was lost to him (he spent two weeks in his room, barely eating what his mother brought to him or going anywhere). His heart and trust had been shattered by the only person he had ever trusted. During that time, his father started to beat ideas into his head, building him up to a more egotistical persona, one that re-sparked his interest in inventing and school. He made Ford believe he was better than everyone, that he was special and only people like him were destined for something greater. However, the motives to get Ford moving again was not without want of personal gain. Filbrick still wanted those potential millions. These motives have severely harmed Ford’s ability to forgive Stanley. Ford is slowly unlearning what his father had instilled in him.

-To Filbrick’s dismay, Ford did not go down the path of ‘potential millions’ right away. The father had tried to make Ford change his mind about going out west to pursue his interests in favor of being hired on as a scientist somewhere. However, the flattery had made Ford a bit more cynical to the world around him. He did not share his grant money like his father expected him to. He pretty much cut ties with the rest of his family minus the occasional phone call to his mother.

-If it weren’t for his mother and later Fiddleford and Bill in his early years, Ford would have been worse off. When he throws himself into his work, he forgets to take care of himself. He wouldn’t shower for weeks on end, forget to eat or sleep to the point of passing out and would often forget what day or year it was.

-Loves horror movies and has somewhat identified with the monsters but greatly criticizes them. He has never showed any fear toward ‘old school’ horror movies. However, he hates jump scares and will react violently to them out of reflex.

-Ford’s trench coats have been modified to be ‘bags of holding’ through a technique he learned while traversing the universe. When you look into one of the many pockets, you find nothing but a void of stars and nebulae which pretty much are ‘pocket dimensions’. **BU-DUM-TISS** He could pull more than a live rabbit out of any one of them at any moment. Probably an extinct Dodo bird or a mini noodle dragon.

-Ford has doodles all throughout Journal 1 and 2 of characters he created for DDMD. He also has a strategy journal floating around the shack somewhere that contains some of his best material that has been lost for years.

-He buys ALL of his clothes in bulk, sometimes the boots already have their own mud stains or have them printed on them at all times. It’s a look Ford loves. Speaking of looks, not all of his black pants are actual pants. Some of them are spandex or yoga pants in case he’s afraid he may rip normal pants when having to do something athletic.

-Yes, he does have 12 PHDs. He earned one on earth but the rest were earned during the 30 years he was away. None of them are in the medical field. That’s what spells are for. One has to wonder if the other eleven are even valid in our dimension. Even he ponders that but will probably aggressively state that they are.

-Everyone expects him to like classical music. While, yes, this is true, he actually took a liking to rock and alternative music. However, he somehow knows all the lyrics to songs that were not made in his time, possibly from a parallel timeline where he got his PHDs.

-He has commissioned Mabel to make him a knitted Plaidipus plush that he shamelessly sleeps with every night. Its name is ‘Theory’.

-Ford keeps up an exercise regimen that he doesn’t force on anyone. He couldn’t care less about anyone’s physical prowess unless they wanted to adventure with him. He doesn’t want them hurt. He only comments on his brother to rile him up from time to time. Sibling rivalry and all.

-Ford has killed before and he will kill again if he has to. He doesn’t like talking about it but most of his kills were the result of either protecting himself or someone or getting something he desperately needs.

-He has a lot of scarring all across his body. While he will admit half of them were from his years in the multiverse, a good chunk of them were from Bill after he found out that Bill was plotting against him.

-After Stan’s memory recovery and his adrenaline came down, Ford had to be taken to the hospital as a result of Bill’s torture on top of the ride in the alien shuttle that would have taken him to an intergalactic prison. He didn’t stay there long. In fact, after he was bandaged up, he declared himself healed and walked right out the front door. Remember, none of his PHDs were in medical. He probably memorized a healing spell.

-Ford may be looking into changing his name after seeing the list of charges Stan put on his legal name. Yeah.

-He and Fiddleford keep a close connection. When he isn’t skyping the kids on his adventures with Stan or spending time with Stan, he is talking with Fiddleford. They pretty much rekindled their bromance. He somewhat owes his life to Fiddleford for all the times the man had saved him from his own stubbornness.

-With Dipper turning down Ford’s offer of apprenticeship, Ford has turned his sights to another adventure loving child who was more local and could probably keep up with him like, if not better than, Dipper had. Wendy. However, during their first adventure out, instead of voicing her opinion on a matter, she ended up knocking sense into him with the back side of her axe. The clanging of it against the metal plate in his head echoed throughout the woods.

Example Writing Piece:

There he was. Lying flat on his back on the kitchen floor of his cabin with a bewildered look on his face as a pair of long, twiggy legs draped over his chest and hugged around his arm that was outstretched and held fast against a thin chest. Never in his life did he think he could have been taken down so easily by a man who claimed to be a complete pacifist.

“Say it!” Fiddleford panted, tightening his grip on the arm some while lying on his own back, perpendicular to Ford’s body.

“Never!” Ford snapped out of his bewilderment and started to try to struggle against the hold. “They’re nothing but a stupid fashion trend!”

“Facts are facts! Leg warmers are a practical piece of clothin’!”

“What warmth could you possibly get from leg warmers?!”

“Not all of us have paddin’ in the winter, Stanferd!” the assistant growled and twisted the arm. A yelp echoed off the walls as Ford tried to manage to get the upper hand. He should have been able to dominate this… whatever it was. He was a good bit stronger than his friend. When Ford found that he was not going to get out of the hold without resorting to dirty tactics that would hurt Fiddleford, he sighed and smacked his open palm on the floor next to him to tap out. “Ah ah! Ya gotta say it!”

“No!”

“Say it’s practical! I ain’t lettin’ go until you do!”

“Fine! Leg warmers are practical! Now get off!” Ford tried to remain irritated but then started laughing at the whole situation. All this over leg warmers? Well, now he had a topic to get under his friend’s skin other than his cubic’s cube. Maybe next time he’d get a running start.

#discord roleplay #accepted #stanford pines #gravity falls #gravity falls roleplay #submission

4 notes · View notes