#forced me to think about stuff i haven't considered haha

[quitealotofsodapop]

Mei is both proud and very unhappy with the grounding. True, she didn't know her little buddy was actually Sun Wukong's son until about ten minutes ago, but her parents got to meet her little brother figure, and they think he's adorable! Wukogn makes sure to warn them of potential baby layers, tho, new powers and all. Luckily, that's not something new to the Ao Long household considering how Mei holds a certain Ring.

That conversation has to be one of the msot awkward Wukong has ever had up to that point tho, calling up Ao Lie's great granddaughter to tell her that her daughter, whom she hadn't even realized knew him, had gotten his son, who nobody even knows he has, into a bit of trouble and now DBK is free and all the parents to the kids involved in freeing him are coming together for a tea party to figure out, essentially, what's next.

Wukong, astral projecting: Hello, yes, Mrs. Long? Lovely to speak face to face, I knew your grandfather you know, but that's not why I'm calling. Um, so it's about your daughter.

Yi Li: What!?

Wukong, getting nervous: Uh... yeah, see, she and my kid have gotten pretty close. Mr. Tang is his tutor, you see, and they tend to have their lessons at the Noodle Shop she works at. Well, I let Mei take my little Xiaotian out with her for some of her delivery runs aaaand... next thing I know, the Demon Bull King is free.

Ye Li, already suspecting: Oh no... dont tell me, it was her!?

Wukong: From what I understand of the events, she was pretty involved and stuff... so do you mind coming over for some tea with me and the Demon Bull Family so we can kinda... figure out our next steps? They've called a bit of a truce for now after meeting my kid.

Ye Li: Of course! Just give us a few minutes to clear our schedule and we'll be right over... oh and please tell my daughter she's grounded.

Wukong: Alright then! See you there! *turns to unseen person as he begins to fade out* Hey Mei your mom says-

prev post. @soniclozdplove;

+an earlier ask;

Ao Yi and Long Cháo have long accepted that their baby girl is a lot more... firey than a normal water dragon pup. But they never believed in locking her up or forcing her to suppress her boundless energy.

So when Mei came to them wanting to get a part-time job as a delivery job so she could have "real life" experience, they were fully supportive.

They think it's really cute how she's bonded with her boss and some of the regulars. Mei especially mentions a little demon monkey named MK who's obsessed with the Monkey King, and is about to become a big brother. The Ao-Long's only met MK and "Mr Qi" once when they decided to visit Mei at her work. The little boy was so excited about going to school and becoming a big brother - even though "she's taking a long time." Mr Qi just laughed and explained that he was a little overdue. The dragon couple thought the two were an adorable parent and child, but Ao Yi swears she recognises Mr Qi from somewhere...

Wukong, astral projecting in: "Heeeeyyyy Mrs Long." Ao Yi: "Sun Wukong? Why, I haven't seen you since I was a pup. What brings you here today?" Wukong, stalling a bit: "Well it's about Mei- she's not in trouble don't worry! Well maybe a little in trouble... she was doing a delivery when she and her little stowaway came across my Staff and DBK's resting site. Iron Fan and Red Son included." Ao Yi, going pale: "She didn't." Wukong: "She didn't - but Red Son did. And then MK managed steal it off of him. Mei grabbed him and bolted before any fighting could happen but they got chased." Ao Yi, frustrated and worried: "Oh sweet- Cháo! Our daughter somehow helped release an ancient demon king!" Long Cháo, running in: "Is she ok!?" Wukong: "Oh yeah she's fine. Nobody got hurt. DBK was a lot more forgiving once he properly met MK-" Long Cháo, piecing together the lore: "Wait isn't that the same MK who gets tutored by Mr Tang? Isn't Mr Qi... pregnant?" Ao Yi, raises brow at Wukong: "Yes. Yes he is." Wukong, laughing nervously: "HAHA! Yeah! Surprise! I uh... have a kid and one on the way. Long story." Ao Yi: "Great-Grandfather did say you had an Egg with you throughout the Journey. I had assumed he was rambling, but this explains so much..." Wukong: "Yeah, I've been keeping it a secret for a long time. Ao Lie was always so protective of me... Anyway, my dao isn't so great right now so I need to wrap this call up. You guys wanna meet up or something to talk about this in-person? I just want my Xiaotian to know some folks connected to the "old gang" now that his powers are developing. Plus DBK needs a lot of history filled in for him." (*the dragon couple share a look and smile*) Ao Yi: "I see no issue in having a few lunch meetings. It's not every day I get to talk about Great-Grandfather's journey." Long Cháo: "Xiaojiao is grounded though, right?" Ao Yi: "Without a doubt."

The familys (+occassionally Tang, Pigsy, and Sandy) start meeting up for brunch afterwards. Ao Yi and PIF are glamourous girl besties the second they meet, and their husbands bond over their difficulties in courting them. Wukong is glad to have people to hang out with outside of FFM, and to rebuild the relationship with his brother and sister-in-law.

Mei house sits the day the parents are all out for dinner. Red Son is still trying to take over the city in a misguided effort to make his parents proud, so attempted sword-theft still occurs and Mei's own dragon abilities start erupting. MK yells with joy at his bestie being a fellow "Superhero!". Red Son gets grounded.

[scaramutual]

ANY FUNNFACTS ABOUT YOUR S/I!!!? whats their vc !!!? tell us about themmm

eng - jp. there's also this twitter post! // YAPPING UNDER CUT

HELLO HIII HI. i will find a way to use this 1 piece of art i made for the rest of my life i hate drawing full design shots

ANYWAYSHERE'S A REF I MADE RECENTLY! I actually haven't thought about voiceclaims until now . as for fun facts and other stuff I'm not sure how to phrase a lot of things BUT!

she used to have curly hair until she died and then it went straight (mostly. anime physics)

two first names! usually I'll use "alucard" when referring to her as a character & "cypress" when talking more about self-insert stuff, but there's a different reason in the lore: alucard is a penname and a false identity she made up to distance from trauma, so she's kind of my ocs oc. she eventually learns to feel safe as herself, but the persona is still useful sometimes

shes DEAD she DIED it's meant in a metaphorical sense of new beginnings, but she also did very much physically die. shes a ghost. haha get it. ghost writer. get i💥

she was born in fontaine, died in mondstadt, and after the whole character development thing she gets into traveling.

so AFFTER this is where she'd meet wanderer, but I consider the relationship thing more of an AU or like secondary to her actual writing

---

I kind of just use cartoon logic, but she can touch things I think. so like moving objects and such, I suppose would classify her as a poltergeist.

I THINK THERE WOULD BE A SLIGHT DELAY, so for example imagine a character in a video game using an object but it lags very slightly and clips through the body. so like her visual form is faster than tangible energy

the bigger/heavier the object, the more energy it would take to move and so for a ghost I think maybe there's a longer recovery period

so whereas living people can get tired from walking around and such, she can exist indefinitely and not feel fatigue until she tries to exert force on something/move it. but I think she could probably touch stuff like a person's shoulder for example and they'd feel a slight pressure, but it wouldn't be so draining

---

OKAY SO AS FOR HER LAST NAME POLIDORI taken from John William Polidori considered an originator of the modern vampire in his writing. He died young (25), presumed suicide in retrospect but it was not ruled as such at the time

alucard: dracula backwards. straight up I just thought it was fun I will not lie

Before I came up with this design, my s/i used to be like a full-on vampire so I kept the last name since it fit with her new lore and it reminds me of my old stuff!

also I associate her heavily w roses so the word perennial is used for flowers as well as something which exists for a very long time. that one I think was obvious but I love talking

full lore one day . I don't know how to give a comprehensive insight so until I make stuff or something it'll just have to haunt my mind constantly. SORRY FOR TYPING SO MUCH I'm just kind of listing info from the top of my head, I hope this makes sense!

[true-blue-sonic]

Gooood evening dear author‼️

So for the headcanon thingy

ൠ - random headcanon

☼ - appearance headcanon

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

☾ - sleep headcanon

For Shadow and hmmm Sonic?

I LOVE your interpretation of Shadow in your fics! Especially in New Beginnings. It's not usual to see someone write Shadow this well and accurate!! And not only Shadow. You write every character so well!

Good evening🍀 Thanks for the compliments, I'm glad to hear so!💕 This made me realise I actually haven't written Shadow so much at all, haha. He does intrigue me; I'm always curious how he and Silver would interact when not on a mission. They seem to be on good terms in London 2012 3DS, at least!

Shadow:

ൠ - random headcanon

I figure he sometimes goes to the ARK to ensure it doesn't fall into disrepair more, as a homage to the home he shared with Gerald and Maria. He definitely knows the place best out of anyone still alive, but he'll never be able to out-know Gerald, considering Gerald is the one who built the ARK in the first place iirc.

☼ - appearance headcanon

I think he wouldn't mind the fact that he looks so Black Arms-y, considering he left the past behind him and all. But if anyone tries to ask about it, they're gonna get the most pissed look possible sent to them, which probably terrifies any ol' mortal into immediately shutting up and leaving the topic be.

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

I think also he would appreciate Earth's nature and views, what with growing up on the ARK and all. I like the idea of him tending to flowers that the Lego game showed. Plus, I can imagine he figures out what flowers mean so he can plant ones with meanings he appreciates.

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

Rouge is the only one who can talk him down with words when he's irate, and even then that's not guaranteed. Considering Omega was made to contain him and was used to capture him in '06, I think he'd be the only being capable of stopping Shadow by physical force; perhaps not even Sonic would be strong enough then!

☾ - sleep headcanon

I think GUN could have lent him a place to stay somewhere so he has a roof over his head, but I figure he either crashes at Rouge or just stays outside (like under the highway in Battle) to sleep, not unlike Sonic. I do think him being UltimateTM means he can do better than Sonic with less hours of sleep, but probably not for days on end.

Sonic:

ൠ - random headcanon

Collects off-model unofficial merch made in the likeliness of him and his friends when the items are really ugly, because he thinks it's funny. He's got a few boxes stowed away in one of Tails' workshops that has the stuff in there, that he pulls out at parties and such for a good laugh with his pals.

☼ - appearance headcanon

I think Sonic would be open to many crazy things in truth or dare, but dyeing his quills is one thing he'll refuse to do when dared to XD

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

He doesn't have as much technological know-how as Tails for sure, but I can imagine he likes tinkering with the Tornado and seeing if she still works properly!

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

No matter what it is he's doing; if he spots someone getting bullied or a person being mean to someone else, he will intervene and chew the assaulter out. Afterwards he'll far more kindly ask the victim if they're okay, and hang out with them for a while more with jokes and such until they're smiling again.

☾ - sleep headcanon

I love the idea that he is on an active mission to find the weirdest sleeping spots possible, ranging from tree branches so thin it's a miracle he doesn't fall off, roofs of random houses, lounge chairs just left outside, the seat of the Tornado, Tails' tails, beds in guest rooms from friends (who promptly get a heart attack when they wake up in the morning and he is just There), and so on.

[blade-that-was-broken]

In your half-life AU, Floyd is very good at music, but he's very shy about it. And then you've mentioned that he'll eventually join the choir (?) or was it like a music club? 

Ayways, I've been wondering if you're planning on adding Velvet and Veneer to this? I kind of imagine them appearing maybe when Floyd's a teenager; they're probably the spoiled rich kids that have no manners.

Velvet definitely joined the choir for attention, Veneer obviously got forced into joining, so he's probably pressured to try his best but is too lazy to practice singing. He definitely tried suggesting practice and got rejected LMAO.

Haha!! Thank youuuuu!

Floyd's a bit shy on the subject because unlike in canon, he's had less exposure to music/singing/instruments and also his father is a jerk and says its stupid. However, once Floyd gets started, he takes to it like a moth to flame and he is GOOD at picking it up.

Okay so in my middle school, you had to join the choir or band. Or both. Floyd is going to join both. In my high school, you don't have to do either but there is a normal choir and then there is a thing called a swing choir (we called it Rocket Choir) where it is both singing and performance! With little dances and stuff. Nothing too crazy. When Floyd gets into HS, he's definitely going to join the swing choir. The choir director miiiiggghhhttt even let him feature in something when he's in middle school just cause he is just that good.

Please also note that this school is small so it's not weird for the middle school and high school choir director to be the same person. I'm not sure if it will or not.

Anywayyyyyyy... Velvet and Veneer. Entirely honest, haven't thought very far ahead but that's okay! Cause now I will! In canon, Floyd is an adult and the twins are teenagers. Here, they probably are not the same age but they will be in school together. They probably still have the aspirations of being famous singers, for some, strange, reason, considering they don’t sing. They don’t really fit into the small town thing so I’m not sure how it all occurs yet how they get involved in the school…

Unless they are in different schools… but I'm not sure about that either. Things are still a work in progress.

Don’t mind me thinking out loud here

And now I lost my train of thought. But absolutely; they'd end up being the spoiled rich kids with no manners which... if you have ever been in small town places... does not fly. So Velvet and kinda Veneer too, would probably be kinda obsessed with being popular. And who doesn't like a fabulous singer?

Anyways, when Floyd is in middle school, he ends up being really good and does some practice/featuring in the High School Choir; maybe the regular or the swing and he's a cute little shy preteen, people love him, they think he's an adorable little kiddo.

Insert Velvet and Veneer, somehow, someway, trying to use him for their own gain. I'm not sure the details on this quite yet.

Sorry, I thought I was gonna have more than I ended up having -.-

[marigoldbaker]

Hi! I'm new here (here being your blog, calendiles fandom, and also just...Buffyverse fandom in general? I haven't been here that long haha) and I finally got around to checking out your work on AO3 and uuuhhh you've written SO MUCH!!! So first of all, THAT'S AMAZING, GOOD JOB!! But second of all, I have no idea where to start reading... Can I maybe get like a rec from you of your top 5 faves? (Not fan faves, but YOUR faves, fics/series you're most proud of, etc.) Please and thank you :)

oh, wow, this is so sweet <333 hello! i have seen your fic in the buffyverse tag and lurked more than once there. expect some reviews at SOME point when my brain will allow me, because you are adding some excellent sapphic/nonbinary representation to the buffyverse in a very lovely way. i deeply appreciate your energy.

as for my top five faves -- i appreciate your specification that they have to be MY top five faves, because i really was about to just point to the braveryverse as smth that i think you personally might like. (not a single straight person, found family, etcetc). but my personal top five is a lil different than the stuff that's the most popular w/ fandom at large. (not by too much though.)

all of these range from "a little lengthy" to "novel-length" but i think they are worth it! and they are also all complete! (except for the first one on the list, which has a sequel in the works, but everything PUBLISHED is complete!)

1. never mind the years of wasted time

so this is my long-standing baby that i am blogging about all the time! it's so important to me! i cannot overemphasize how much this 'verse means to me. it's an improbable little everybody lives/nobody dies au set about three years after canon, and in my heart it does kind of stand as a spiritual follow-up to canon, in that the emotional place that giles starts the story is very much a continuation of the emotional place that he ends canon in. there are so many details within the main fic (what you make) that i cannot pack into a single summary (giles and jenny's eight-year-old son, who she left sunnydale to raise! giles and buffy trying to figure out how to reckon with the concept of giles being a parent to a kid that isn't her! jenny's adoring extended family! a subplot that is literally just all about how giles's parents met and fell in love! giles and jenny's individual baggage from their complicated parents and how that informed the decisions they made with each other and with/for the kids they were in charge of!) also it is impossible to read the fic and come away NOT loving art or alice or nora. nora is literally my url now because i tricked myself into loving her so hard by writing her all the time.

anyway yes! top of my list, this is the thing i am the most proudest of, it is literally novel-length and i have been considering learning book-binding just because i want the physical experience of making it into something that i can hold.

2. as day follows night

this is also long but um, less long? this is The Faith Fic. i don't really know how to talk about it without spoiling it (or if i've already talked about it and spoiled it, or if the tags will spoil it...) but suffice it to say that this fic is about faith right after killing the deputy mayor, and her decision to ally herself with an all-powerful witch. or more like "attach herself." like to the witch's skirts. and hang on while the witch drags her around trying to get her to let go. (this girl has some attachment issues). it's got fuffy it's got fairy tales it's got the force of platonic love being the most powerful force in the world <3 and i think it is the first long fic i ever wrote where i had an outline and a plot that made sense and consistent tone throughout!

3. the tale of princess imogen

FAIRYTALE CALENDILES WHAT MORE CAN I EVEN SAY??? also some background fuffy and tillow bc obviously! anyway this whole fic is about jenny the witch pining helplessly for giles the acting monarch and losing her mind a little when princess buffy lets it slip that he's in love with some dark-haired lady who's constantly hanging around the castle all the time. and then subsequently coming up with a Magic Plan to ruin his chances of ever being able to win this dark-haired lady over, because what if she's bad for the kingdom? what if she's just trying to grab at power? THIS IS FOR POLITICAL REASONS SHE IS VERY NORMAL.

4. illumination

this one is about giles and jenny both realizing that they share the experience of being closeted bisexual individuals in a het-passing relationship & subsequently figuring out how to process this. (so obviously chapter three is pegging. but it's THEMATICALLY IMPORTANT pegging. and if explicit stuff isn't your cup of tea, the first two chapters are totally sfw!)

5. private life

i am actually really proud of this one! this is set in season four and it's about xander walking in on giles kissing a man and having to reckon with a lot of complicated internalized biphobia. i love xander so much. of course he has to make this list. (and this is DEFINITELY the shortest fic on this list lmao.)

also honorable mentions to north star and it's the principle of the thing, which are the fics that i write when i'm not feeling like writing a Big Complicated Interlock-y project, so if you wanna read something of mine that will (uh, someday) be updated and is still in progress, that would be where to go right now until the what you make sequel shows up! north star is essentially a (mostly) scooby genfic that's set in season six where willow resurrects jenny to prove herself to giles, and it deals with the fallout of that. it's the principle of the thing is a super trope-y fic about giles and jenny getting green card married in the middle of season one because that's what you do when your workplace enemy might have to leave :) you propose marriage so he can't :) it's normal :) she's normal :) she's fine :) do not look her in the eye

[olivyh]

HEY HEY HEY(⁠ﾉ⁠≧⁠∇⁠≦⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠ ⁠ﾐ⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

ANOR ANON IS BACK AFTER THE LONGEST HIATUS AND THE MOST TOE CURLING, BACK ARCHING IDEA TO INCLUDE NBC IN TTV CAME TO ME IN ONE OF MY INTERNAL DIALOGUES

So basically, mc SOMEHOW, miraculously, manages to escape the cage AND THAT BTCH RUNS FOR THE HILLS and somehow ends up in nbc

This could go one or both routes:

Rollo is an innocent who took mc in because he pitied them and was also curious about the world they say they hail from without magic n less homicide n stuff

Orr

Rollo is a villain who took mc in because he believes that they could be of use to eradicate the nrc students or sum'

So essentially, the nrc students get invited to go to nbc as per canon plot line and are pleasantly surprised to see their recent escapee inhabiting the school they were just sent to scope out..

I'll let you take it from here(⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾⁠）

-Anor anon<333

(sorry for the hiatus, I haven't touched my crusty musty dusty Tumblr in like what? A month now??🥲)

OMG HII ANOR ANON!!! It's been so long!! I've also been on a few hiatuses, so I get it completely haha!! Welcome back!! <33 The internal dialogue ideas really hit differently!!!

Maybe spoilers for the Glorious Masquerade event below?

I think this could go deeper into the worldbuilding aspect of the ttv universe! If NRC is the only school that is doing this sort of thing (how Crowley makes it so nobody is ever persecuted, who knows?), then the first route would be the best option! Rollo would definitely use this to his advantage in his whole anti-magic thing! With mc there, it could definitely lead to a route of Rollo and mc working to expose Nrc to the world and to save the few good students that are left there. In that route, I could definitely see Rollo taking on a protector/brotherly route (which could possibly help him resolve his guilt over you-know-what).

In this, they could meet the families of those who died and, maybe, work to somehow stop nrc's sphere of influence and avenge those who died during that school year and the previous years. Imagine the families and friends of the deceased students, paired up with those in their communities working to take down the school (which could indluce some major governmental figures and nobility, considering the dorm leaders and students who are doing the killing ARE nobility/rich/influential). Yes, I'm thinking Ruggie's whole neighborhood, Jack's family and friends (his pack, so to speak), the first years' families, mer coming from the sea, smaller fae who've been wronged by their future king... so many people!

Anyways, if it's the other route than that means that the rest of the world is just as messed up as Nrc which is... disappointing for Mc, since their battle would never end and they'd be forced into another dog-eat-dog world. In this route, they still have Rollo as a protector, though! Even though he's not as good as Jack, he's still willing to keep them safe (in exchange for insider info on the students of Nrc). But then again, this opens ore opportunities for the students of NRC to do whtever it takes to get their otherworldly "pet" back (Again, not a happy ending for TTV!Mc).

Once they found the mc, I think they would want them back (aside from Idia for obvious reasons,,,). This could end in an all out war between the schools (as Rollo would want MC for intel on the students of nrc). I can also see him as wanting to keep mc as a pawn to negotiate with the other students (which could either work, or end terribly as the students of nrc could decide to not care about mc).

I like the concept, and really wanna explore the world of ttv in the second part (which im planning on starting very soon, once I get a plot mapped out).

it was nice to hear from you again anor anon <3

[illusionaryneil]

For Edward: 1, 8, 9, 23, & 29

1. How would you best describe yourself? “I think I would consider myself to be quite the troublemaker! I think it is really funny to see others get annoyed with what I am capable of. I can be somewhat sneaky as well! I've been able to download and hide certain files and Nostalgia wouldn't find them until weeks later! There are still a few they haven't even found still! You shoulda seen the look on their face when I installed the You Are An Idiot trojan on the computer a few months ago, it was priceless hahaha!! Don't worry I got rid of it a few minutes later, but being able to cause such irritation to them is so comedic! Obviously they know I am just joking around.”

8. Tell us about the one thing you enjoy more than anything. “Besides messing with Nostalgia's ability to do stuff on the computer, I love being able to browse the internet and discover stuff! Have you seen how much is out there?? The creative expression of those across the globe, the endless access of media, the access to information, it is all so beautiful!! Sorta want to experiment with website building in the future. I greatly enjoy seeing so many people being able to just be themselves and share what they create and what they do!”

9. Name the one thing you hate the most. “When the computer is turned off. I just hate how dark it gets and the complete restriction of access to all of my abilities. Not a good time at all for anyone! I think I gave Nostalgia a fair amount of error messages warning against doing this at all though, so I should be fine. Hasn't happened in a long, LONG time at least, so I'm not too worried about it!”

23. What kind of music do you enjoy? “I enjoy a lot of music!! Most of the time I am forced to listen to whatever Nostalgia has on when they're using the computer. I don't really hate the music they listen to, but it's not my absolute favorite by any means. Whenever I do have the computer to myself though I really enjoy being able to listen to electronic and drum and bass music! Have you ever heard of Pilotredsky?? His music is amazing!! Cousin Joule, vancouver, and deadly mission are some of my favorites by him! Oh I also really enjoy Add N to (X)! On the Wires of Our Nerves is an album of all time in my eyes! Nostalgia always tries to argue that some other album called View-Monster or whatever is actually the best album of all time, but they're just wrong I think!!”

29. What is the greatest gift anyone could give you? "Hmmm…seeing that I can't really really receive physical gifts, I think the greatest gift someone could give to me is complete and total freedom from being in a computer. It's not that I dislike being in a computer cause I have access to all information that can be accessed through a computer and more!! I guess I still feel like I am missing something by being stuck in this form I guess!. If I were to think of a realistic gift though, I guess having someone download some movies and shows for me would be one of the greater ones! Gets really boring sitting around here whenever no one is around, plus Nostalgia isn't a huge fan of me downloading media through less legal means onto their computer haha!!”

[mochinon-yah]

I wanted to write these things in the comments but figured it'd be too long there, so i'm writing it here hehe;;

Hi ansy. At first, when i read your post about your grandpa's death in the @/dain-speaks, i wanted to say something but i thought you might feel like that's it's none of my business. Although now, considering how you make two (or more? i haven't been online that much here) posts based on your condition irl, it really means that you've had enough.

Death of a loved one is such a foreign concept to people who had never experienced it. It hurts, well of course, but it hurts even more when you really realize that you can't see, can't talk, or can't hear them anymore. Sometimes, it feels like it's gnawing at you for not doing your best for them, or sometimes it gnawed at you because you're trying to live outside the sadness that you felt because they died.

Despite it all, i think, mourning a loved one's death is much needed. Even if it hurts just by remembering some memories, even if it feels like it's punching you in the gut just by looking at the stuff they usually wore. It hurts, but you need to feel it all. If not now, then are you going to bottle up those feelings on the back of your mind before it launches back full force?

It hurts, but at least, you can be drowned in it before eventually being better than before. Well, at least, i hope so :)

I also just want to say that you're brave enough to say this out loud. I love the way you can write all of this despite how hurt you are after your grandpa's death, and also despite how hurt you are because of the notes and the silent appreciation.

Haha, now i really wish i could turn back time and appreciate your works more, but i can't really do that, can i? Well, just for a clarification (and also wanting to make me feel better, sorry for being a little selfish hehe), i'm not one to be online much in tumblr or any social media apps in that matter, so me not appreaciating some of your works is probably because of that. Another reason is that, i haven't read some of the fics you wrote and i feel like it's way too shallow to write a review or appreciation words just cause i wanted to despite haven't reading it at all.

I really do love writing reviews and talking about whatever i just read, and it's not something i can just make appear out of nowhere. So, i'm sorry ansy if i seem too silent for your liking despite me always liking your works. And no worries, i guess just by you writing whatever you're feeling just like here makes me feel like i need to be a lot better and a lot more vocal on appreciating people. So, to end what i'm writing here, thank you ansy for opening up your feelings here and letting out what stresses you the most. And thank you for telling something like this with a brave heart. Don't feel too lonely cause i'm sure there's a lot of people (including me!!) who loves your chaotic self :)

Oh and (sorry for cursing) screw your dad, what the heck man? Bro, you're not the one living the life of your child, right? Let them be carefree in what they want. Like i understand, that maybe you want the 'best' for them, but you being like that is actually doing the opposite, you dickhead. Okay, i should stop, i don't even know the whole story about your dad and all 😭 in any case, i hope you're doing well now and i really realllyyyyy hope you can do your best despite such harsh stuff happening to you (゜∇^d)!!

I want to be honest (no this has nothing to do with fics lmao youll get it as scheduled)

This post is an explanation as to why I consider myself as "retired". I know I've said it's because of studies, but that'll be 1/3 of the truth. I want to talk about the true three real reasons why, and I'll do my best to be straight to the point. This isn't a cry for help (I swear to the heavens it is NOT). This is just to clear out assumptions.

Here's the other two reasons:

Grief & Mental Health

Writing itself & interactions

Grief & Mental Health:

I'll pour my heart out, so I'm sorry if it's long. As I said, I'll be straight to the point, so: my grandfather around the first week of June. I remember how I received the news so vividly. I was listening to Two Birds while washing the dishes at 12 AM. My mom went down the stairs with my father, crying as they tell me the news that he's gone. We drove half an hour to the hospital where I get to pat his head one last time. I remember mindlessly wandering the hospital halls— I remember mindlessly using the free alcohol attached to a wall. I remember breaking down as I realized I just cleansed away the hand that last had contact with him. I remember every detail, from the ride home where I messaged my good college friend to tell her that she needs to be a good nurse because the public healthcare system in the country is awful. I remember silently hating everyone and everything. I remember thinking about how cruel it was that life took away the one relative who genuinely cared about me and I was sure was related to me by blood. I remember thinking how much I'm distant to everyone else on my mother's side except him. I remember feeling so empty. I remember not sleeping for two days straight.

But let's back track for a bit. Before his death, I did have one final conversation with him. He was sedated and tubed miserably. Deep down, I knew his time was coming. So, I just made jokes about how grandma was growing senile and mistook me for a nurse for ten whole minutes. Then, I thanked him for everything he's done, and told him I'll become an engineer. Just like him.

And now here I am, dorming 3 hours away from home. I dormed because I had nearly decided my life meant nothing after lack of sleep through daily commutes and workloads. But I am lonely and unwell. I don't know what I want in life. I don't know what I actually want to be, but I already shifted courses as a chemical engineering student. I was so stressed to the point I've accidentally cried to my chem professor in a phone call. I don't know what I'm doing with my scholarship and education if it's for no one. And I am scared that I'm draining my parents' already limited resource for nothing. That I'm wasting the scholarship my country had given me nothing. That I am wasting my people's taxes for nothing.

It was only when another friend told me that I seem to live my life based on other's decisions and opinions did I notice just why I'm incredibly miserable.

I know I don't have dreams for myself. And even if I did, how the hell will writing and drawing feed me in the future when the industry in this 3rd world country is absolute garbage?

I guess Asians really do the things they hate so they can get what they love. Okay, I'll stop making jokes.

I miss my long-time friends, Phitre and Frost. I also miss my old blockmates when I was a BSEd-Math student. I am too used to eating alone, studying alone, walking alone. I am too used to being an outsider. But I'm not used to silence. I'm not too used to hearing actual silence.

All I have is Discord and Messenger.

And even then, it's quiet.

Writing itself & Interactions

I love writing and drawing. I just hate posting it at this point, which is why I made another account that's purely interaction-based.

I love writing a lot— my happiness is turning shtposts into something terrifying. I don't like writing romances, I like the thrill instead. I like laughing like I'm Hubert from FE:TH after thinking of an evil plot twist.

But I hate posting it. Because I know, no matter how much effort I put it, it's not enough. No matter how long it is— no matter if you learned basic coding for it— drew art— made interactive google forms— it's just not enough. I literally made two long separate fics with different endings depending on your choices and it just performs less on something I didn't actually put anything on.

Lord.

Lord I hate Creative Differences for that. I finally understood why bands hate their hit songs because of that lol.

Don't comment something like "oh, you content creators are just whining—" I am whining. Why? Because we don't treat artists and writers like they're human enough. Like we're just uploading content and that we don't want to hear what the others have to say. I remember there was one ask telling me how they're gonna miss traumatizing their friend— and I'm just sitting there wondering "why didn't YOU tell me their reactions? Why are you making me feel like I'm talking to a brick wall for 2k words and more?" It's not their fault. I am not mad at this anon. They've done nothing wrong, but lord do I hate feeling like this.

I could follow "part 2???" requests, finish all my drafts for the events. But I know. I know the chances of the person who requested them won't actually answer after all the effort.

[insert Berkut's "all that effort, what is it all for?!" voice line from FE:Echoes here to lighten the mood]

But that aside.

It's just silence. Just notes, when I feel like comments are what matters more. I'm used to being alone, but I really hate silence. I hate it so much. That's why I'm always so grateful to the people who do interact often, and don't say that's not true because I can prove it. You can see me make content just for them, dedicate fics, art, everything. I love them, I love the "noise".

I know we all have lives, I know we're all busy, I know. I respect your time, I respect you.

And I think it's just time I respect myself as well.

So that's why I'm retired. No pressure on events (idol and letters), no pressure on anything. I'm actually taking my time in End Of Year Blues. It's nice.

Edit: I forgot to mention

My father hates that I write. He constantly tells me to stop it, to prioritize my academics, when writing is my only way of coping.

So.

Haha, what the hell do I even do anymore, right?

[iron-parkr]

From the Harry Potter OC Ask Game—I'm gonna cheat and ask you from 1 to 20 for Aquila Black 😁

Oh wow, you're not messing around haha! Here we go!

1. What is their blood status (pureblood, muggleborn, etc)? What are their thoughts on the concept of blood status?

Being a Black, Aquila is a pureblood. She's been raised on the typical pureblood supremacy rhetoric, so that's how she begins the story, but throughout her time at Hogwarts and through her interactions with Harry, Ron, Hermione, the other Weasleys, and other characters, she starts to learn and grow and realize that the "correct order of things" that her parents always talked about is completely backwards and that actions, not blood, is a measure of a person's worth.

2. What is their wand wood and core?

Her wand is made of aspen wood with a unicorn hair core!

3. Do they bring a pet to Hogwarts with them?

She has a pet black cat named Lynx.

4. What Hogwarts house were they sorted into? Why did the hat put them in that house over the others? Was it a quick sorting or a hatstall? Are they happy with their sorting? What Hogwarts house would they least fit into?

Aquila, to her initial horror, is sorted into Gryffindor. The hat saw what she can't really see in herself, which is a real inner strength and courage she's developed over the years living in a toxic and abusive household, and also the bravery she'll develop in the coming years at Hogwarts. The hat knew as soon as it touched her head where she would go, so definitely not a hatstall. Aquila is definitely upset at being sorted into Gryffindor, especially since she was expecting to be in Slytherin (which is the house she fits into least), but she learns to accept it and even embrace it as she gets older.

5. What subject is their favorite at Hogwarts? Which is their least favorite? Is their favorite the same as their best subject?

I swear I decided this at some point and now I totally forget. Her least favorite is definitely History of Magic, just because she's been raised in the wizarding world and probably knows a bunch of it already. She really likes Care of Magical Creatures and Muggle Studies in third year, and she's a fan of Defense Against the Dark Arts (when they have a competent teacher) and Transfiguration!

6. What electives do they chose in third year?

Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, Ancient Runes, and Muggle Studies!

7. Do they earn more house points or do they lose more?

It's probably an even tie, though maybe more toward lose more haha. She gains a lot for answering questions correctly in class, but she's friends with Harry, Ron, and Hermione so she's losing some for being out of bounds and whatnot, plus when she's in a bad mood because of things at home or because of personal stuff she's more likely to snap at professors she doesn't like, which doesn't help much

8. How do they do on their OWLs? On their NEWTs?

Aquila does exceedingly well on her OWLs, not only because she's a great student, but also because she puts a lot of pressure on herself (stemming from being the heir to a pureblood family) to be as perfect as possible. I actually don't know if she'll take NEWTs or not because I hadn't quite decided whether Aquila will go on the run with Harry and co. or if she'll stay behind and attend seventh year at Hogwarts.

9. Thoughts on Quidditch? Do they play? And if so what position do they play?

Cepheus (her father) is the Worst and never let Aquila play before she got to Hogwarts, but she loves it. She knows all the stats about the major players in the national and international leagues. Eventually, because of Harry, Fred, and George getting banned by Umbridge during fifth year, Aquila lands a spot on the Gryffindor team as a beater, which she's ridiculously good at, and makes the team again in sixth year in the same position.

10. What Wizarding treat (bertie botts, chocolate frogs, etc.) is their favorite?

Cauldron Cakes!

11. What is their Patronus? What happy memory do the use to conjure it?

So I took the Patronus test for her and got a White Mare, but I'm not sure if I'll keep that. Aquila's happy memory is the first time she truly felt at home and accepted among Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the greater Gryffindor house.

12. What is their Boggart? What happens to it when they cast Riddikulus?

Aquila's Boggart is her father, Cepheus, because between both her parents he's crueler and much more abusive than her mother. Not sure what happens when she casts Riddikulus yet, actually! I hadn't gotten that far haha.

13. What does Amortentia smell like to them?

To Aquila, Amortentia smells like wood polish, a clean, flowery scent, a dusty scent, and a hint of cinnamon

14. What spell is their favorite? Which do they use the most?

I honestly haven't thought about that. Maybe Accio, because she can be quite lazy at times and not want to get up to grab something if she's working hard on homework lol.

15. If they needed it, what form would the Room of Requirement take for them?

Somewhere she can be alone and distracted from whatever is bothering her at the moment.

16. If they trained as an Animagus what form would they take?

Maybe a cat, since she loves her cat Lynx.

17. What do they do/want to do after Hogwarts?

Another thing I swore I had figured out but cannot remember for some reason. When she was younger she thought she would go into the Ministry like her father, but after her relationship with her family falls apart that plan does too. I'm not sure! That's something that'll get decided soon hopefully lol.

18. Which Unforgivable Curse would they be most likely to use? What would be the reason for it?

Having been raised in a family like the Blacks Aquila's morality is a bit skewed sometimes, so she wouldn't be opposed to using the Imperius curse to get what she wanted, but only for a very good reason, not just on a whim.

19. Which Unforgivable Curse would they hate to have used on them the most?

So actually Cepheus is a piece of shit and Aquila knows first-hand how it feels to have the Cruciatus curse used on her, and she never ever wants to feel it again.

20. Which Deathly Hallow (wand, stone, or cloak) would they want? Why?

Probably the cloak, to be able to hide away when she gets overwhelmed and just take a moment to herself

Thank you so much for asking!!

[lotusmuses]

how did you feel about the whole scarlet king thing? cause for me it rode a weird line between the iffy rhetoric that oppressed people should never rise up and fight back because AlL ViOLenCE iS BaD (completely ignoring the passive violence that happens by literally walling people off from society and forcing them into harsher conditions) and the better idea of targeting an institution to initiate change. i appreciated dehya’s anger at the wall and her wanting to tear it down while recognizing that the way others were trying to initiate change was hurting innocents, she wasn’t outright saying you should never fight for rights, just to pick the right target, but at the same time everyone else felt so unsympathetic to how awful the desert folk were being treated!? even cyno?!!? idk just want to hear someone else’s prospective (if you’d like to share that is!)

Hello!

Okay, so my thoughts on it might not apply too well since I haven't actually started the Sumeru archon quests (bc i'm avoiding finishing the chasm quest and instead doing sumeru world quests haha), so I really can’t give too much of an opinion since I don't exactly know how the eremites have taken action. Are they being violent with everyone from the akademiya/rainforest side?? bc that i can understand is considered bad since many of those people are just believing the rhetorics told to them and weren't actively in the wrong.

Anyways,

The whole wall idea,,, I genuinely don't understand why it was made. I'm pretty sure Rukkhadevata made it during the time Al-ahmar accidentally corrupted his kingdom but.. even with exhausting her form for those people it feels kind of insensitive to just close her own people off from the others (could be her version of quarantining them i guess ahah)

Yeah, I can fully agree with you about Dehya. From the little I know about the archon quests, she's a huge voice of reason.

As far as Cyno, I genuinely expected him to care a lot more about how the desert folk get treated (i made a post vaguely talking about it along with the treatment of the matras) but from what I've seen, he's only mad about the Akademiya's illegal stuff. I know that's his job and a big part of his personality is punishing those against justice, but it feels so weird that he doesn’t care much about everything else going on.

He's been out of the desert long enough that I think he's just not considering that it's his community getting treated the way that they are. Honestly if it wasn’t obvious that he was from the desert, based purely on his lack of interest in the place compared to practically every other character and their respective homes, I'd think he's from somewhere else.

I might make a better post once I play through the quests. Thanks for asking! ✨️

[after-the-shapes-and-beats]

Okay time for talking about ideas/concepts/trivia I haven't explored!! A lot is old stuff but some is new, lots of thinking lately lol.

Also a reminder you can totally ask me questions if you're interested in something I haven't mentioned or want something elaborated further on. <3

I was going to introduce Barracuda, Lycanthropy, and the other player shapes as characters, at different points and under different circumstances of course. I did post one concept of Barracuda, but the others haven't graced this blog yet. (Still have to finalise all their designs/redesigns lol)

Was going to do a lot of Q & Square unofficially adopted parent/child moments. Didn't have anything specific planned but just really looked forward to the potential fluff/angst etc. of it all lol

I was also gonna do shameless Square/Fresh shipping lmao. Its my story they can kiss if I want!!

Chip was gonna get a girlfriend. :)

Was going to bring up Qs past. It wasn't going to be super important/relevant in the long run, but it was going to be discussed.

I reeeaaally wanted to do some animatics. I'm not brilliant at that kind of thing but god I couldn't get them out of my head lol. Still can't haha. Especially one for the track "first crush" by Sabrepulse. ;)

This is a newer thought but I’ve been exposed to some new songs recently via my sibling playing rhythm games and GOD some of those tracks really made me go “I NEED to incorporate this into my jsab au somehow”. They slap dude. These songs fuck severely and I need to choreograph fight scenes to them.

A BIG concept I wanted to introduce was individuals having a "true song" (still workshopping the name) intrinsic to them that gives them their abilities. Square can hear them if he listens carefully. :)

Qs true song was gonna be a big reveal haha. It's not Close To Me. :^)

Considering the start of the blog was set approx. maybe only 1 or 2 months after the event of the game, there was gonna be a lot of Processing Trauma. Fresh is a recently rehabilitated force of destruction. Square just remembered he's basically god. It's all a lot to come to terms with haha. Denial can only last so long lol.

The main plot thing I wanted to eventually get to was basically "where did square come from and what are the repercussions of inserting himself among the mortals he created?"

I haven't pinpointed any characters' ages other than "around this area". Except Huey. Huey is definitely 17 lol. Everyone else is solidly an adult. Square and Fresh are mentally young adults. (Immature young adults, but still. Lol)

Before the game Chip lived mostly at sea, but after everything she decided to settle down to be close to her friends. :) She still spends a good amount of time out on the water, but she has people and a place to come home to now. uwu

Huey's special interest is flying/flying machines! When he and Square met in the factory, he was actually testing out a small single person craft he built when he got stuck.

Fresh is really into his creative hobbies. After knowing only destruction, creating is really fun and healing for him. :)

Q has a plethora of skills, most are expected because they live rurally and try to be as self sufficient as possible, but some are very out of left field lol.

Square likes dresses and being barefoot because of sensory issues, and swooshy dresses are very stimmy. :)

Sleeves don't agree with Fresh and his weird arms lol so he wears exclusively sleeveless shirts. God forbid he ever have to attend a formal event.

Fresh seems like the biggest source of potential angst, and yeah there's a lot there, but Square actually has more baggage of the two! While Fresh is up front about his traumas and insecurities, Square keeps all his stuff to himself. Fresh gets to hear a little bit but only because the two of them just understand and relate to each other in a way the others couldn't.

Aaaand that’s everything I’ve got I think!! I need to work on like, proper ref art and bios for the characters and stuff. Develop some underdeveloped aspects some more. I also need to shitpost more lol. Again feel free to ask questions or whatever!! I don’t currently really know how to move forward other than occasionally posting art so responding to you guys’ thoughts/suggestions for drawings or whatever would be good.

Love youuuu! <3

[bredforloyalty]

i watch rnm 06x07 (late, as always) and wow the show just keeps getting worse! my issue isn't even the meta jokes (and the jokes ABOUT meta jokes), it's that it's so boring! it's completely lost it's charm imo. like some episodes this season have been fantastic but overall she is flopping </3

ohh it's interesting that you think that, thank you for indulging me angel :] <33

i wanted to answer this later (contrary to popular belief i have ""obligations"" mainly bc of something called """university""") (🤢) but it wouldn't let me rest so let me just say this: you're right but i don't agree gydnfy but also i agree.

i didn't like the latest episode, this is nothing that others haven't said but pointing out that a concept is forced, that it sucks, doesn't make it suck less haha.. "not a likable premise" is right, i don't know if we were supposed to disagree with rick but i mean, i couldn't, it's like the joke is just on the audience now. and it felt like the writers needed to vent. i still enjoyed some moments a lot and actually when i watched it with my sister i forgave some jokes i groaned at the first time, like it grew on me just a tiny bit on a second watch but it's a no from me, specifically because of the meta bullcrap

i also happen to have a problem with what morty (as in the writers through morty) said about creativity, i'm no big shot tv show writer (lmaoo) but i think if that's how they view art/creating, we've got some ,, issues mayhaps! but it's whatever that's just one detail, my real complaint is that the episode wasn't really fun, creative or funny, and it felt like it hated itself. sorry for being harsh it's out of genuine love. and i think when a show's actually clever, there should be no need to remind us and poke fun at trite concepts and at shitty jokes. it's not like i know better but umm 🧐 get off the high horse and Do the clever stuff, Balance sci-fi with drama and comedy, Be earnest. or perish, you know. but that's just my opinion

anyway sorry i went on a bit of a tangent there, the season as a whole isn't a flop in my opinion, it's just all in the process of evolving. there are things that changed that i'm happy about and things that i'm not happy about.. the pacing felt smoother, apart from maybe full meta jackrick they didn't do that thing where they take on too much in a single episode (and then it's a fast-paced mess full of incomprehensible sci-fi jargon gydgxy), i think the storytelling was a bit better... i like what they're doing with canon, i like that they chose to take away portal travel and make the first half family-oriented and more sitcom-y, i think that was needed. bethcest was daring. i think there's a lot to like about this season

whether the show's truly funny at this point is arguable (but if you don't think it is funny at all, why watch lol) - i think there were a decent number of laughs, it's not the best r&m can do, it's not a Great season, but i'd argue this show has never been consistently great. unless you count the first season! kind of. being a season one elitist is one way to live but it seems a bit limiting and i really do enjoy each of the five seasons before this to varying degrees and for slightly different reasons. shows that aren't sure what they're doing from the get-go or shows that aren't sure how to keep up interest and keep the story going and have it be consistent are always highly divisive because like,, they give you a lot to play around with.... a lot to consider, many different things you can like about it. so of course we have different ideas of what it should be

i don't even know what the point i wanted to make is, but i will say that i don't see season 6 as worse or boring, i see it as different. fundamentally different, maybe that's why it can't be as funny or funny in the same way or satisfy me personally. with the many people who seem to love the new developments, rick being gentler and whatnot, i'm inclined to say "the ideas i have about the best direction for rick and morty and the ideas the writers have (+ the wishes of long-time fans) are growing farther apart" instead of "the show's deteriorating"

we could've had more morty this season. the show is its best imo when the rick-morty dynamic is front and center and that's where my personal dissatisfaction and my ideas and wishes come in: i think season 6 does many things right, but the aspect of this show that's the most integral to my enjoyment and that made it particularly special to me is barely there anymore. i am not interested in rick being careful, apologetic or considerate, especially with his grandson, that's not what i signed up for and they couldn't make me believe the shift in the dynamic or appreciate it, really. i just think rick and morty are less compelling this way, in that regard it's boring to me too!! and i never opposed rick becoming a better person/less controlling! lol i just don't buy it if it happens this way. i saw someone say the show lost its teeth, i referred to it as having been castrated gyshy and i do feel that. i miss the teeth.

[solradguy]

would be an easy choice, and someone else is probably going to do it, so how about Ky?

No Sol for the Sol blogger 🥺🥺🥺🥺 jk Ky's good haha

⚡ Overall opinion of them:

Tbh I really didn't like Ky when I first got into Guilty Gear because he was the "stick in the mud law abiding citizen" guy at first glance, but his lore is so complex and his character is a lot deeper than that now that I know him better. He's probably not in my top 5 favorite GG characters or anything, though I don't dislike him. He's neat. I'm looking forward to getting to work on his novel and learning more about him.

⚡ Gender/sexuality headcanons:

It's hilariously easy to make gay jokes about him and Sol because of the official art from X thru XX but, if I had to put Ky on the Kinsey scale, I think he'd be either a 1 or 2. Straight for the most part with the occasional gay/bi moment. I also think that if you asked Ky about his sexuality (assuming the person asking him was someone he was comfortable opening up with) he wouldn't have an answer right away, like sex/sexualities aren't something he dedicates a lot of time thinking about. Heteroflexible-romantic with asexual leanings, or something like that? He would NEVER. EVER. even SLIGHTLY consider cheating on Dizzy.

⚡ Favorite moment in canon:

It was raw af the first time I watched the Xrd story and Elphelt shoots him and he just gets back up because he had the Gear stuff going on at that point. I think that was the scene where my opinion of him started changing because him being a Gear went against like EVERYTHING I thought I knew about him up til then.

⚡ Favorite moment in a fanwork:

I'm gonna skip this question because I don't read fanfiction and don't really have anything to put for it dngkd

⚡ Favorite line, in canon or otherwise:

The change in Ky's match dialog with Sol throughout the series is really cool. Starting with Missing Link, his dialog has a lot of self-doubt in it up until about Rev where he starts getting some confidence in himself: [ML] "Sol! Why did you hold back!? Am I not worthy..?" [X] "That look you're giving me...I feel as if I haven't won." [Xrd] "Sol... Victory is mine." [Strive] "You were supposed to give it your all."

With the Strive quote especially, he says the line with a lot of force/annoyance, not in a way where he doesn't feel like he deserves to have won. I know this isn't like a single quote/what this prompt asks for, I just really like this part of his character development.

⚡ Characters I love seeing them interact with:

Sol, obviously lmfao. I have to admit that I'm not really familiar with his interactions with many of the other characters... It would be interesting seeing some healing with his relationship with Sin in the future.

⚡ Last thing before sleeping headcanons:

Oh you just know this man's got a whole bedtime ritual haha. Brushed teeth, mouthwash, face wash, and a quick comb through his hair before bed. Maybe he reads a little from a (non-work related) book before lights out too.

⚡ Sleeping habits headcanons:

I can imagine Ky's bed and pillows being so perfectly comfortable that he doesn't move like at all once he gets into it. I do think he owns multiple pairs of matching light blue and white pajamas with his initials monogrammed onto the chest pocket, though (and comfortable soft brown leather house moccasins).

⚡ First thing after waking up headcanons:

Good morning smooch for Dizzy <3 Ky seems like the kind of person who wakes up and then immediately gets dressed and ready for the day, but also skips breakfast and has only coffee more often than he'd like to admit...

⚡ Favorite locations headcanon:

Hmm... I don't know Ky well enough to get a feel for the kinds of locations he seems like he would enjoy... Maybe sneaking down to the farmer's market with Dizzy when he can to buy little baked treats that he normally can't get the chefs at the Illyria castle to make? He seems like he might enjoy walks in nature parks too but doesn't ever have the time to get away to go on one...

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey i really love your blog!!! I just plucked the courage to actually send u an ask fhdjhd but GOSH i love your video edits and your gifs and your meta article posts, you're so articulate and you can explain/describe moments in a way that makes me go "oh wow, i cant believe i haven't seen it that way before!!" Haha ANYWAYS i'm just here to say that i completely agree with what all u said, Free creators might do a lil fanservice here and there for the 25 ships that exists within the fandom's circle, but rinharu's storyline is clearly the most romantic one! And i'd argue it's the one closest to being canon esp after part 1, i mean the fact that they put such an explosive emotional outburst right at the end of the second to the last movie means a lot. It's like reinforcing the fact that this series has always been about them, and everything that has happened only happened either because they met or they grew appart and miss eachother. I kinda feel like maybe.. juust maayyybe there's a chance KA wants to make the ship canon, since it's the last movie and they want to end it on a highnote maybe (bcs honestly i think the only reason they've been holding back is purely bcs of the merch sales, since they don't have a problem showing a wholesome lesbian love story in kobayashi maid dragon) butt i could be wrong, maybe i'm just overly optimistic and delusional, they could somehow ruin it and give an ending that panders to all the ships again 😅🥲, but at least there's a clear-cut guarantee that part 2 would dedicate a large portion of it fixing rin and haru's fight!!! Oohh how can i wait another 6 months now!!😭😭 (sorry for the long ask btw!! 🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️)

OMG thank you so so much!! For watching my vids too! ❤️❤️❤️ It really means a lot to me! Ahhhh wow, thats the longest ask I've ever recieved! 😍 I'm trying to explain myself so hard lol I'm glad its appreciated, bc sometimes I'm like "I don't fucking know how to say this" xD

Well, you know me, I only care for one ship, which is the only one with confirmed info that they're both actually gay and have mutual feelings for each other. There are some other ships in free! I'm fine with (those do not include Rin or Haru in them xD), but I just mostly don't care, bc after reading all the stuff, you can see that in some of those to one the other one is actually like his second option, which I just do not like. Others I just don't even see, bc again to me who witnessed great close male friendships and having two sisters who I'm very close to, I just do not see anything romantic in that.

It's not just Free! tbh, it's like any sports anime these days. They see two guys walking together, it's a ship. And like no one cares if they're just bros. Like I'd get i they did some fanservice fanservice, but like I never saw anyone in Free! crossing the line the way rinharu do. I can without thinking much name you 10 rh moments that no matter how hard you think can't be explain as being bros, but can't name one when it comes to others. I just find some ppl shipping everyone with everyone weird sometimes. It's like western fans see like some eastern actors or singers slap each other ass lovingly and they're like "oh they're fucking" I'm like "yeah, ofc all 500 of them, you're absolutely right". And Free! doesn't do anything even like that, I just do not get sometimes like what moment even brought on some ships. I'm genuinely confused. Albert and Haru? You fucking fell from a sakura tree or smth? I'm...

I'm especially confused when it comes to guys, whose character type is who I call "I only want this one and if I can't have it, then I'm ok" xD. It just always surprised me, when they try to pair up them with someone else, it's like a complete ooc.

I'm also not into this whole "well, if there are gays in this anime, than everyone there is gay". I'm like... huh. It's like with KNB and MDZS I had same feeling. It's like you have already couples there who are canon/borderline canon, why do you need another 10 who don't even interact or just don't even go there? I'm always so confused in those situations. Or like wangxian is married and some are like "no, I actually don't like it, let me write a fic when they're with other ppl". Lan Zhan... being in love or having sex with someone else? Yeah, that's not Lan Zhan, dude, you're writing about someone else. Might as well change the name at this point.

But last time I went to twitter someone had a thread about how if they make s4 of Free! they should mainly explore there Momo's angst (and no, it wasn't a joke), so I'm already like, I'm just.. nothing will surprise me no more. But I'm forever gonna be confused.

Yeah, I eel you about "going there". I mean seeing part of it, it just kinda cemented my confusion, bc I do not get how it can be considered platonic. We were just discussing since yesterday with @freeseafirefly how I now even more perplexed and do not understand how they will resolve it without going into relationship territory. It's just our point here is that like... no one forced them to go there (I mean its not like this whole fandom has some wild expectations or anything already), we were waiting or our usual friendship and swimming and maybe tiny conflict about struggles of pro-careers and some usual rh implications (maybe all the rh gay in dramas as always). Not some pure fanfiction coming to life here haha.

Like why I'm laughing is bc I twice used in my "fics" bringing up him leaving Haru as a force to push the confession, bc there's no way if he adresses this it won't lead to this. And now we not only have this (bc Haru just basically layed it out there), but an actual scene of him playing on their feelings for each other and a literal image of Rin leaving and "taking Haru's heart with him" to the point when he's for the first time in his life openly crying on the ground. And it's not like this scene can be interpreted as anything else, the whole fandom talks same, bc the whole fight was just about them, what Haru said was just about them, there's a literal boom of his heart getting out of his chest, before he falls and now he's heartless.

So our question is like... why go there?

It's like some say that they might still resolve it with "they're special to each other" and swimming, but still like we already knew that, there was no reason to go that far is what I'm saying. And to think that it was planned since forever giving the clues is like... ???

The whole spoon theme also throw me on the loop because like, lets be honest, it's wedding themed. And that part of the interview about part 2 there also made me go...?????? Because I mean, huh?

This is just all in all very interesting turn of events to say the least. I do not see the point of all of this if its not what I think it is, esp after seeing tweets like "even I see a rh wedding and I'm mh T_T". It's just all very unsubtle, that's why we're confused.

Like who knows, maybe we'll really by some magic turn of events get lucky and they really decided that since its the ending, it's okay to go for it. But I also don't wanna to hype myself much, I'm already really happy with it, just bc again, this scene already proves all of my points.

And yeah, I'm sure they'll pander to everyone, bc it's the end and etc and we have to handle everything on the good note and there's a whole line of ppl who's obsessed with us, esp with Haru xD, but like bromance pandering and romance pandering are different things, you know *wiggles eyebrows* and u know who always gets the second one.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

Idk if you know about the video game Octopath Traveller, but if the character Cyrus Albright isn’t aro then neither am I (impossible).

I feel like I should have more Ace Attorney aspec hcs, but because there’s so little actual romance in the series, it’s hard to single out characters who seem aroace. I feel like Herlock Sholmes is too obvious, but I always got an alloace vibe off of Gumshoe.

Actually, in the good old days when tumblr group chats were still up, I was in an AA one, and the subject of asexuality got brought up. I kid you not, every single person who was active at the moment came out as ace one after another. And this was like a good ten or so people.

We talked about it for a while, and decided that AA is just appealing to us over other media because it lacks sexualization and romance. There are no romantic subplots among the main characters other than the low-key Wrightworth or Klapollo flirting moments. The romantic relationships that do exist are fairly minor to the plot in the sense that they don’t have a ton of emotional investment packed into them, they’re just a part of the bigger story.

We also decided that we like mystery stories in general because the average one has twists and turns, suspense, and excitement, but doesn’t rely on sex appeal or romantic plots. Unless it’s noir or action thriller or something, mystery protagonists aren’t usually interested in that stuff. Sherlock Holmes is famously ace-coded. Hercule Poirot and Mrs. Marple don’t think about that. And if there is a romantic subplot, then it’s usually more about the case than about love.

Just thought it was interesting. Really putting the Ace in Ace Attorney.

I haven't played Octopath Traveller yet but your aro headcanons are always so well thought out, so if I do play it at some point then I'm excited to see this character and their aro-ness for myself!

You have such an interesting point about Ace Attorney and tbh I think that's why I ended up such a fan of it myself -- there are all these complex, interesting relationships that form an important part of the main plot, but none of them are explicitly romantic in nature. A lot of the time in media the romantic relationships seem "deeper" than the platonic ones, but it really isn't the case in these games and it's felt so refreshing for me. And a lot of the time it's ambiguous (like Wrightworth) so these relationships absolutely CAN be read as romance if you want to, which is awesome! But the important part is the trust and the love, whichever form that takes, and platonic love isn't any lesser than romantic love, so essentially it can just be whatever feels best or most relatable to the player. It doesn't force any romance. I used to always be drawn to kids shows (like ML of course haha) to avoid the over-sexualisation of other media but those usually still have a lot of romance, but now it feels nice to be able to have an interest in something more mature and still have it cater completely to my interests (and avoid things that I'm not interested in!).

"it's hard to single out characters who seem aroace" -- okay I'll be honest, my own brain's solution to this was just to headcanon them all as aroace (or at the very least, almost all). It was an accident I swear, I didn't mean to! It just sort of uh... happened? But yeah, Sholmes as aroace was absolutely a given for me, considering he's basically just Sherlock Holmes. And alloace Gumshoe is a great headcanon, I can totally see that! I didn't think about it before but he definitely gives off that vibe!

Lowkey Wrightworth, hehe... the "unnecessary feelings" line is undoubtedly gay, in my brain these two are a strong QPR. Edgeworth gives me aroace vibes (especially after he talked about never wanting to get married) and I'm probably just being self-indulgent at this point but aroace Phoenix too (his love for Dahlia always seemed too over-the-top to me to be real, like he was trying to "perform romance" correctly). But with Edgeworth I think of it as aro-spec, like "oh god what are these sudden horrible mushy feelings that I've never felt before and how do I make them go away >:(" idk I think I've overthought it... And in fact I do actually quite like Klapollo, but I'm very... picky? I have to be in the right mood and the stars have to be aligned just right and even then there's a 60% chance I'll just go "oh nvm, Apollo is aro now actually", no idea why. I said to a friend once "I only ship it when it's funny" and I think that probably explains it. They can be bi if it helps the joke land!

God I have such few actual ships in these games... the only one that's coming to mind that I unambiguously like all the time is like, Aura and Metis for some reason??? Minor characters and one of them's long dead? I have no clue why but this one just makes me so emo! Aaaaaand that's about it, I think. I'm so obsessed with the brotps I actually genuinely forget the concept of romance exists sometimes when I'm playing these games, lmao.

Same about the mystery novels hehe, I remember devouring every Poirot book my local library had when I was like 13 or 14, I really should get back into those because I enjoyed them so much! It was really refreshing, since I was also really into teen dystopia books at the time but they're usually full to the brim with romance, which got pretty annoying sometimes.

My reply to this got so long, sorry! (My reply to your next ask is probably gonna be long too, I have so much to say, but I'll answer it in that ask!)

[monocytogenes]

Interview with a Fic Writer

Tagged by @sleepswithvillains :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? Apparently I'm up to 12 at this point lol

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 14554 (Think they're all one shots, though I do currently have something longer I'm working on)

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? So, I wrote Making Use as a fic prompt response not long after The Force Awakens came out, and I think it must've been one of a small number of Reyux fics at that time because that thing TOOK OFF. It's got 441 kudos on it and still accumulates some here and there periodically. Like, I don't even like it that much but I'm glad it makes people happy, haha.

That's followed by A Certain Comfort (Phasma/Hux, 127) and a few Batman universe fics (Locard's Principle, 86; Metaphorically, 76; Mistakes, 70.)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yeah, I try to respond to all of my commenters, though I haven't always in the past. If they leave something really excited sometimes I let it sit for a bit so I can properly match their energy.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I write a lot of angsty stuff but don't usually leave it on that note. Looking at ending alone, probably Mistakes; it's a Crane/Harley fic I wrote some years back about her coming to stay with him while still in an abusive relationship with Joker. Lots of unrequited pining there; very hurt/no comfort.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? ...This is making me realize that I don't write a lot of fics that end happily vs. things have slightly improved, I guess. I suppose Better to Be Wrecked, my SW/Quinn fic, is technically rather optimistic because it's basically a meditation on him contemplating suicide over the years and then getting treated mercifully by the woman he loves at the end, haha. Some of the stuff I wrote for Gotham (before that show went off the rails, woof) is kind of positive in outlook too.

7. Do you write crossovers? Nah, I'm more into exploring characters in the context of their own settings.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? Nah, thankfully.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I've done text RP for years, and written a fair amount of smut collaboratively, but up until more recently I haven't really considered putting it into fic, lol (as @nirikeehan is wont to say--be the smut you want to see in the world!) There's the implication of it in Better to Be Wrecked and I've got something more explicit with that ship in my WIPs at the moment.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No. Fwiw, if you want to reference my OCs or worldbuilding stuff or whatever, feel free to ask.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? Don't think so. Someone recorded a read of Mistakes once, which was pretty cool.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope, but I've beta'd for Niri and I wrote a scene that's part of the backstory of her fic The Force's Will (which like, if you like Hux being smart and calculating and capable, Reylo, Poe being a badass, or at all want a take on the future after TLJ that's infinitely better than whatever the hell TROS was--read it. It's great.)

13. What’s your all time favourite ship? I can never pick one favorite, lol--honestly it's easier for me to express what ships I really don't like. For instance, having spent a lot of time in the fandom for the new trilogy, I really have zero interest in Kylux--I see their relationship as more of a complicated platonic/vaguely familial thing. (Weirdly, the ship I was probably most into with Hux was when I RPed him with a younger Leia, because they were a really incredible intellectual match for each other. I can also get behind several m/f ships with him and Hux/Poe, haha.)

I'm currently neck-deep in SWTOR and Quinn/SW is sitting in my 'favorite' slot right now, lol.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will? I have a lot of WIPs kicking around for Quinn/SW that I may or may not finish but I'd like to. There's definitely a lot of things I've got from different fandoms that I start and never complete, and I'm trying to get better about that.

15. What are your writing strengths? /checks the comments on my stuff, lol

I've been told I'm good at characterization (which like, good, because when I get into a character I'm inundating poor Niri with paragraphs of speculation about their inner lives, lol.) Honestly, the most treasured comment I got back when I was doing online RP was when I was playing a setting-native OC and was told 'he's so well-developed that I keep forgetting he's not actually part of canon'. Especially as someone who remembers a time when OCs were constantly being accused of being Mary Sues or whatever, that meant a lot.

I also think I'm pretty good at connecting ideas through the course of a fic; in one shots, I love starting with a simple notion (sometimes from the first line, e.g. "Hux was not afraid of him"; "Quinn had grown accustomed to contemplating his own death") and deconstructing/reconstructing it in different ways. A lot of the fics that influenced me early on were highly thematic and downright lyrical, so that influenced my writing quite a bit.

16. What are your writing weaknesses? As I've been writing a longer, more actiony WIP lately (my upcoming Imperial Agent fic), I've been struggling at times to find a good balance in terms of how descriptive I want to be--like, where to really move the action and where to let the characters talk and breathe. The plot's hashed out; it's just a matter of figuring out how to get from A to B, scene to scene, in part because I haven't written something super lengthy in years.

I get really particular and perfectionistic with dialogue too, sometimes; if you struggle with that as well, I find that voice-acting it to myself helps (like, literally when proofing that fic I've been doing the British accents to get the cadence right; sometimes I crack myself up when they're just perfectly sassy.)

And, you know, actually finishing stuff is a challenge, lol.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I think if it's an actual language and you're not fluent, it's best to run it past someone who is since Google Translate is Not Great much of the time. Usually I'll just indicate that the characters are speaking another language and try to represent when something comes up that doesn't have an English equivalent; you don't want to distract the reader to the point that they have to dig for footnotes but you also don't want to totally erase some of that contextual information.

I've seen this done well with an untranslatable word here or there (that, again, you can mostly deduce from context clues) and with short, subtle remarks that a character is using a familiar form of address or something. And yeah, in sci fi/fantasy stuff, I'll either do those things or repurpose slang on occasion to keep the immersion going (e.g. my Star Wars characters say the likes of 'stars forbid' or 'bantha shit' a lot as a 'they're from a different place with different belief systems' nod.)

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Lol I was writing like, shitty Sonic the Hedgehog fanfic back in elementary school and such so I guess that counts? My earliest stuff on ao3 is Batman fic; I got super into the Nolan movies years back and kind of entered the larger fandom from there.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet, but want to? Well, I've got like two different unfinished projects with Imperial Agent/Shara Jenn so I hope to grace the world with those two, lol. (She's so gooooood.)

20. What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? There's a special place in my heart for The Incarnation of Failure. Like, there's no romance in it, it doesn't make my top 5 for hits or kudos, but it's effectively a humanizing love letter to Hux and Phasma and the First Order in general in the aftermath of TFA. I'm still sad about how their potential was squandered by the canon, but in my own mind, this fic is part of my canon.