#for years those posts have plagued me on this site

[intheemptymirror]

bad habit !

idol!sumin x fem!reader

summary: sumin has a bad biting habit— and you are not exempt from it.

genre: fluff, slightly suggestive

warnings: biting (duh), a bit suggestive in the last scenario but it’s fluffy otherwise, sumin and reader are said to be the same age (20), in the first two scenarios sumin and reader aren’t dating yet (just crushes) but in the last two they are (//∇//)

a/n: my first xikers post! and also like my first full fic ever (⌒▽⌒) there’s a serious lack of xikers content on this site, i’ve already read through all of it 💀 but i hope this small fic is enough to make other roady’s on here happy too. i have a jinsik drabble im working on too so pls look forward to that (*´∇｀*) lowkey the second scenario gave me crazy butterflies like it made me giddy af (before the ending anyways) and i was the one that wrote it 😭 but i feel like my writing is super obviously amateur, which makes me a bit embarrassed but hopefully this is an enjoyable read anyways 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

sumin loved to use his teeth.

you found this out when you were both six and in elementary school and he bit you because you took the toy he was wanting to play with for recess. it went about as well as you’d imagine. you started crying before swinging the toy down and hitting sumin on the back with it, causing him to burst out into tears as well. in the end, both of your parents were called and you got the scolding of a life time from your mother when you got home.

sumin brought a sweet flavored candy the next day along with a slightly less sweet apology. he didn’t make eye contact with you and he mumbled out a simple “sorry” and nothing else before shoving the candy your way, but you accepted the both of them nonetheless. you gave him a toothy smile (which in sumin’s opinion was the sweetest thing he had with him that day, though he’d never admit it) before taking his hand in yours and dragging him out to play. despite the severely rocky start to your friendship, the both of you had been inseparable ever since.

maybe it was this first experience with each other that let you stay so close with each other even fourteen years later, because from the very beginning you knew what he was— a biter.

— !

the xiker’s boys had invited you over to one of their dorms for their monthly hangout night— ideally it would be a weekly thing, but their schedules never allowed for rest days that consistently. being sumin’s best friend since before he even knew about the existence of xikers, you had gotten pretty close with the rest of them. of course, sumin has and always will be your favorite— much to the disdain of the others.

you stood behind the couch with a smile on your face while seeun, minjae, and yechan occupied the cushions. all of your gazes were completely locked onto the tv, where a very intense and serious game of mario kart was occurring. “seeun, stop cheating!” minjae yelled out when said boy started to move into minjae’s space in an attempt to distract him, his body being bumped into yechan who was on his right. this only made yechan start to push back against minjae, eventually leading to the three boys getting into each others personal space in an attempt to completely sabotage their gameplay.

their shenanigans caused small giggles to leave your lips, completely unaware of the set of eyes that were locked onto you instead of the game. sumin stood off to the side by the dining table, leaning against the wall with a fond look on his face. when sumin had first thought of introducing you to his members, he was truthfully a little nervous. “what if they don’t like each other?” “what if they get into a fist fight?” “what if someone dies and the night is plagued with that experience forever and as a result they can never get along?” sumin knows now that all of those thoughts were absolutely ridiculous (some more so than others), but he truly just wanted all of his favorite people to like each other as much as he did.

“careful, if you stare any harder they might burst into flames.” the flat voice that seemingly appeared out of nowhere made sumin jump before he looked to his left where junghoon was eyeing him with his arms crossed and a knowing look on his face. sumin’s surprise relaxed before he tensed up again at junghoon’s implications. he forced out an awkward laugh and shook his head. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

junghoon didn’t say anything, but with a gaze like his, he didn’t really need to. his expression seemingly stayed the same, but sumin didn’t miss the way his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows subtly raised. sumin swallowed harshly and seemed to sink into himself as he looked away from junghoon in an unsuccessful attempt to escape his judgment. he looked back over to him before he let out a sigh of acceptance, reluctantly nodding gently. “yeah i know…” sumin mumbled before the sound of your laughter ringing through the air made him bring his attention back to you.

he smiled at how the sight of your smile filled his chest with warmth before he mindlessly started walking over to you, as if following you was simply second nature to him (and he really would follow you anywhere). he comes up behind you and wraps his strong arms around your waist, the sudden intrusion causing you to jump before you realize who it is and immediately relax. sumin rests his cheek on your shoulder and smiles up at you as you melt into his warmth. “hi.”

you raise your brow at him as the corner of your mouth starts to twitch up into a ghost of a smile. “hi.” you say back, making sumin’s grin grow before he nudges his face into the crook of your neck. you huff out a laugh and bring your hand up to tangle into his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp with your nails. the gentle feeling of your hand in his hair made his body involuntarily relax as he sighed out against your neck, his warm breath sending a shiver up your spine. you turn your attention back to the tv in front of you, but you’re more focused on the way sumin’s warm hands feel pressed against your stomach, his thumb soothingly rubbing back and forth.

“sumin! come help us cut vegetables.” hunter’s voice called out for him from the kitchen, causing you to jump slightly at the sudden sound and causing sumin’s shoulders to slump and let out a loud groan in protest. “less whining, more helping!” sumin sighed before he smiled in defeat, his teeth brushing against your neck as if forewarning what was to come. he quickly tightened his arms around your waist and bit into your shoulder before unwrapping himself from you and running off to where hunter needed him. “hey!” your hand comes up to touch the spot on your shoulder where his teeth had been, a disbelieving smile on your lips. sumin turns, scrunches his nose and sticks his tongue out at you, before turning the corner and disappearing off into the kitchen.

— !

it was one of the very rare times sumin had been granted a break by KQ, and a week long one at that. the company decided that they deserved it after their hard work promoting their recent comeback, but if they asked you, you would’ve said they deserved it always. while some of the boys decided to stay at the dorms, others had ventured their way back home to visit family, sumin being one of them. despite still going to visit him at the dorms often, it never felt like it was enough, so you were over the moon to have him back for a whole week.

the first day or two you had left him alone to spend some much needed time with his parents and brother, but after that he had crawled his way back to you, claiming that it had been too long since he last saw you (two days) and pestering you non-stop to spend the night. ‘just like humans need water to survive, sumins need y/ns to survive,’ is what he had said, which only earned him an eyeroll and light smack to the head.

and so, you both laid side by side in the dark of his room, the only light coming from the moon shining through the window. you laid on your side with your hands rested in the empty space between you two, close enough to feel the heat radiating from each other but not so close that you were actually touching.

you let out a soft giggle, trying your absolute hardest to stay quiet so as not to disturb his family from their sleep. “okay, okay. if you had to be stranded in the middle of space with any of your members, who would you pick?”

“i’d take my helmet off.” you let out a huff of air and smacked him on the arm, making sumin giggle out and put his hands up in surrender.

“okay, okay! i’m kidding! hm… jinsik.” sumin says with a decisive nod of his head. you smile and raise your eyebrows.

“really?” sumin lets out a small ‘mhm’ and nods making you hum in thought and nod slowly. a cheshire like smile grows on your face as an idea starts to form in your head. “that’s not that surprising i guess. if it was between being stuck in the middle of space with me or being stuck in the middle of space with jinsik, who would you choose?”

“you.”

he said the word with so much conviction, as if it was a message written by the hand of god himself and delivered to you through the mouth of sumin. the sturdiness of his word caught you off guard, your smile falling as everything grows quiet between the two of you. the rest of the world seems to fall away as you stare at him and he stares at you. you watch his eyes drift across your face: your eyes, your nose, your cheeks, your lips. you let your own eyes wander down to his lips, swallowing harshly when his gaze snaps back up to your eyes and catches you.

his hand shifts in the bed slightly, as if he was scared that any sudden movements would scare you off entirely; would scare you off eternally. when you don’t do so much as even flinch, he takes a deep, shaky breath as if to steel himself before he stretches out his pinky to gently touch the soft side of your hand. you look down at your hands before looking back into sumin’s eyes, your own pinky moving to gently rest itself over his. you sit like that for a moment, interlocking your pinkies before he gently takes your hand in his, intertwining your fingers together. you let the perfect feeling of his hand pressed against yours sink into your bones, seeping through the marrow to rest gently in the deepest part of your soul, where you decided it would stay protected for the rest of your life.

your heart stutters as he shuffles just that much closer, his eyes drifting back down to your lips. you subconsciously hold your breath in anticipation, the tension between you two looming over like a thick blanket. he blinks a few times, as if shaking a thought out of his head before he drags your connected hands up to his mouth and sinks his teeth into the plush skin on the side of your hand. you let out a gasp and squeal as you try to pry your hand from his assault, your joint laughters replacing the odd feeling that had overtaken the room previously. the tension disappeared, never to be mentioned again that night.

— !

you swung your arms back and forth as a gentle summer breeze blew through your hair, your sandals being held in one hand by the straps. you stared at the sandy ground, watching as the warm water of the ocean reached the tips of your toes only to slink back again as you waited for sumin to show up. you guys had been dating for about a month at this point and had hung out multiple times throughout, but this was your first official date. you had once mentioned to him offhandedly that you would’ve liked to go to the beach with a boyfriend, something you thought he would’ve long forgotten, but he surprised you when he asked if you were free that weekend, telling you he was taking you out on that date.

he had a short practice that morning so he told you to go on ahead and that he’d meet you there straight after. you were strung a bit tight from nerves, so you had gotten there about 15 minutes prior to the meet up time, so you knew you would be waiting a bit, but you still couldn’t help but feel nervous that maybe sumin was going to stand you up. you knew sumin, maybe even more than you knew yourself, so you know deep down he’d never do something like that, but your brain had a funny way of hating you, filling your head with negative thoughts. you gently walked back and forth a few paces along the shore line: what if he never shows up? what if after this date he decides he doesn’t really like me that way? what if he dies trying to meet me here?

“y/n!”

you hear a loud voice call for you from behind, turning to look over your shoulder at the source. and there he was: standing a few feet away at the top of the concrete steps leading to the beach, out of breath and a little sweaty, with a smile you thought burned you brighter than the hot summer sun ever could. sumin— your sumin.

you smile back and raise your hand to wave at him. he bolts towards you, skipping the last few steps of the stairs and stumbling from the unstable grounding of the sand before barreling towards you without any signs of slowing down. you giggle and brace yourself for impact before he reaches you, his arms coming out to wrap around your waist and lifting you up. he stumbles forward into the water, splashing some of it up onto you both, but neither of you can really bring yourselves to care all that much.

he shakes you around a bit before he sets you down, staring at you with a love sick smile as you giggle and fix your now messed up hair. “sorry i’m late.”

you shake your head at him. “you’re not late, i was just early.”

he pouts and affectionately squeezes your cheek between his pointer and thumb. “if i ever make you wait then that means i was late.” you scoff and roll your eyes at him but the sparkle in your eye never leaves. “now c’mon. we have a date to attend to.” he leans his face down close to yours, and you close your eyes and scrunch up your nose in surprise before his hot breath hits your cheek and his teeth sink into the warm skin on your face.

you blink in surprise at him as he pulls away with a teasing grin before it registers in your head what he had just done, your brows furrowing and your plump lips morphing into a pout. you had taken a deep breath in preparation to complain but before any words could be let out, he leaned down one more time to press a quick kiss to your cheek, clasping your hand in his and turning to walk towards one of the little food stands someone had set up along the coast. he stuck his tongue out at you through his teeth as if to say ‘gotcha’, but you couldn’t stop your own happy smile from forming on your face, your cheeks warming up from something other than the sun this time.

the feeling of his hand in yours feels different now than it did when you first took his hand on that playground all those years ago, but just like back then, it still feels like you’re holding something precious.

— !

sumin was currently at practice with the rest of his team members, but you missed him, so you were in his bed doom-scrolling on your phone while you waited for him to finish up with practice so you could surprise him. you check how much longer until sumin said he should be back: 30 minutes. you heave a loud sigh into the otherwise quiet room and drop your phone on the bed before closing your eyes and burying your face in his pillow, letting the scent of sumin’s cologne engulf you.

you’re not sure how long you lay like that, but pretty soon the sound of the door swinging open makes you lift your head from the fabric, looking over to the culprit. in the door frame stands an exhausted sumin, his movements sluggish and heavy. he looks up to find you tucked into his bed, his eyes lighting up when he catches sight of you, the view immediately filling him with new energy.

“baby!” he exclaims, dropping his bag on the floor unceremoniously before launching himself into your arms. you laugh at how he went from zero to one hundred in seemingly a split second as he wraps his arms around you and nuzzles into your neck. your arms come up to rest around his shoulders as your hand tangles into his soft hair. “missed you.” he mumbles out into your skin before pressing a kiss onto your neck, then your jaw, then your cheek, before your entire face has been touched by his lips. you giggle at the vibration of his words against your neck before the source of your laughs turn into the feeling of his lips on you, your hand on his back soothingly rubbing back and forth on his shoulder blades.

he pulls back to look into your eyes with a lovesick smile on his face, but you’re sure you look the same as you gaze into his eyes as well. his hand comes up to cup your cheek, the pad of his thumb rubbing back and forth on your cheek. “tough practice?” you ask, but you already know the answer.

“you have no idea.” sumin replies, the tension in his shoulders relaxing as he huffs out a laugh before he takes your hand in his and brings it up to his mouth. already sensing what was happening, you rip your hand out of his grip with a knowing smile. the action only makes sumin laugh before he leans in to gently bite your jaw. you let out a small noise of protest and gently push and smack at his shoulders, but there’s not any force behind it. you break out into giggles as he bites your jaw again before moving down to hook his teeth into your shoulder.

it sends a shudder up your spine as a breathy, nearly inaudible sigh leaves your lips, the action not going unnoticed by sumin. you feel him grin against your skin before pressing a soft kiss to it, the air in the room suddenly growing thick with tension. “what’s wrong baby?” he teases, his hands sliding down your body before his fingers stop to press into the softness of your waist. he sinks his teeth into your shoulder again, keeping his mouth there for longer this time as he sucks a dark spot into the skin. he licks the bruise lightly to soothe it before moving across to your collarbone to bite into that too.

you let him move his teeth across your skin, dark purple and red spots blooming all across your neck, shoulders, and chest. you can hear and feel him groan into your skin at the taste of your skin on his tongue, your chest heaving with every heavy breath you take. you arch your chest into him as you tilt your head back at the attention he’s giving you before you start to gain some clarity and push against his chest to get him to stop.

“w-wait, what about yechan? he could walk in here at any minute.” he pulls back far enough to look at your face, but close enough to keep you in his arms. you looked like a mess: your hair was disheveled, you were still panting from his ministrations, and you were littered with marks and a thin sheen of spit from sumin’s tongue practically everywhere, but sumin still thought you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. despite your distress, sumin seems unbothered at the mention of his roommate, a smirk making its way onto his face, as if he knew something that you didn’t.

“he decided to stay behind to practice a bit more.” he leans into your face, his lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “so we have more than enough time.” he whispers lowly before kissing your lips softly. “to do whatever,” kiss. “we,” kiss. “want,” he takes your lips in his as you let out a weak whine into his mouth before melting into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer.

maybe this habit of his wasn’t so bad after all.

[geometricgiovanni]

YOU ARE NOW A PRETTY PRINCESS! ✨

This blog contains references to threats and violence. You have been warned.

(hey guys cool sexy man here to tell you first half is in-character, second half under cut is out-of-character)

HELLO! I MADE THIS ACCOUNT OUT OF SPITE OF THAT DISGUSTING THING THAT PLAGUES THIS GOD-FORSAKEN SITE!

NO, DON'T ASK ME ABOUT IT. IF YOU DO, I WILL CRUSH YOU! LETHALLY. You will feel pain. also he blocked me on all 8 of my accounts so um, y'know........

ASK ME THINGS! ASK ME TO DESCRIBE IN EXCRUCIATING DETAIL ASPECTS OF MY LIFE! ASK ME TO DO OBSCURE ACTIVIES THAT WOULD SEVER MY LIMBS IF I HAD ANY!

So here's some info in a similar format to my other blog, some things, such as boundaries, will be copied and pasted:

Blog Information✨

This is an ask/rp blog for Jeremy from regretevator, specifically the Jeremy referenced in @displ3azant. I might use this blog to more freely talk about my specific headcanons about characters from the perspective of an outsider, so that account is likely the only specific one referenced on this blog.

Jeremy in this blog uses he/any!

MAIN TAGS:

#geometric asks - Asks

#geometric posts - Non-ask related posts/reblogs

#ooc - Out-of-character post

BLOG OWNER 🔥

Hello! I am Hex! Yes, you will see me talking to myself! No, do not comment on it. Please refer to me using he/him or it/its pronouns.

My other accounts are: @hexexists - my main blog, if you receive notifications from this account, please know it is just me! @hexational - my regretevator blog @displ3azant - afformentioned Unpleasant rp blog

I'll try to respond to most asks with a drawing of some variety, and if it's something I can use to reveal little ass-shit and bull-dumps about my version of Jeremy.

Please note, however, I am not just one singular guy but also a senior who should really be spending his free time studying, so sometimes I will just give a text response.

Also to note: I am 17 years old, therefore a minor! Even if I was not a minor, I am still not comfortable with weird shit! Keep it in your fucking pants, asshole! Apologies if I sound rude, but holy shit the only blog gets SO many weird asks! I will just be blocking and ignoring any freaky anons, apologies if you are my friend trying to mess with me, but I genuinely cannot take any more risks.

Boundaries ✨

Shipping content: Shipping content is okay, but I don't care much for romance personally and so will likely not play much into it. Please don't push anything, I guess, and nothing that promotes proshipping or any kind of literally illegal pairing. If you dislike any direction taken ship-wise for this blog, then block me and move on with your day.

NSFW content: NSFW CONTENT IS NOT ALLOWED. I am a minor. Thx. Also, "suggestive" jokes are very selectively okay. Basically, if it makes me uncomfortable or is literally disgusting, it will be ignored and likely deleted, and I will probably make fun of you.

Roleplaying: I am totally okay with roleplaying and sending/responding to asks in character!

(ps: i'm also happy to rp with other regretevator ocs too, i think those r super duper cool)

That's all, really.

your mortal enemy,

-Hex

[callalillywrites]

Childhood Best Friend

When I wrote the first version of this story featuring Steve Rogers and a reader, I knew I would want to write its opposite. Here is that result.

This one will have two follow-up pieces because I couldn't decide who I liked for Reader's childhood friend. Those will be coming soon. See poll at end to choose which one comes first.

I promise this is the last version I have for this song (for now anyway). I also promise this Steve will get a happy ending as soon as I can figure out what I want to happen. Poor guy's become my emotional punching bag lately. Need to fix that.

This is absolutely based on this song's vibes:

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: ~1100

Summary: Steve's noted a shift in his fiancée since their engagement party. It's confirmed one night when he finds you in the living room and gently confronts you about the childhood friend who came to the party and your feelings for them.

Warnings: Bittersweet ending, angst, amicable breakup

A/N: It’s proofread but all mistakes are my own.

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted on other sites or fed into an AI machine.

*****

The lack of warmth at his side slowly pulled him towards consciousness.

Rubbing at his eyes, Steve noted the early morning hour on the clock beside him. He shoved the covers off him and searched the room for you. The room lacked a hint of your presence and had for some time from what he could figure. Your slippers and robe had disappeared from their normal spots.

No light from the closet or bathroom alluded to your presence within them, either.

This wasn’t the first time he’d found himself alone in your shared bed so early in the morning. It’d been something that had happened far more frequently, however. No doubt the thoughts plaguing you enough to keep you from wanting to bother him despite his assurances otherwise.

Steve got to his feet and slowly made his way toward the living room of your apartment. He had a good feeling he’d find you there.

Sure enough, he was right.

You sat near the large window that overlooked the small park across the street. The darkness kept you from making out much, but that didn’t seem to stop you. It never had.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice his approach until he sank to his knees in front of you.

You stopped playing with the engagement ring on your finger.

He’d given it to you two months ago during one of your regular date nights. As much as the ring itself had surprised you, you’d known he was going to propose. He’d never made it secret his desire to find a good woman and settle down with her. Have a family.

It had been so easy to say yes, too.

Steve was a good man who never failed to make you feel cherished and seen. He worked hard to provide for himself and for you though you loved your job and the extra income it provided. The date nights were always the same days of the week, but they were never boring, not with him. He always had a knack for making each one special, including the ones you planned. It was easy to see yourself living a good life with him at your side. You wanted everything he wanted.

At least you thought you did.

“Sweetheart,” Steve’s sleep-rough voice broke through your thoughts this time, “you can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?”

You nodded, but you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.

How could you tell this man that you might not love him as much as you thought you did? That you weren’t in love with him?

As if he could read your thoughts, he released a soft breath. “This is about him, isn’t it? Your childhood friend? He’s the one, not me. Isn’t he?”

When you would’ve argued, he held up his hand. The smile he gave you was one of the saddest, most understanding ones you’d ever seen. Tears sprang to your eyes upon seeing it.

“I saw the way he looked at you. It’s the same way I do, but he’s got the years of knowing you that I don’t have. Tell me he’s a good man. That’s all I want to know about him.”

Steve’s hands stroked yours, imploring you to speak up this time. He needed your answer. It was almost like you’d be releasing him from some unseen prison with it.

With a shaky nod, you allowed your tears to spill over as you whispered, “He’s a good man.”

Steve’s Adam’s apple bobbed a few times before he nodded. His hands continued to rub yours for another second before he took your left hand. His gaze inspected the ring he’d placed there, watching as the small diamond glinted in the low light that you’d allowed yourself.

“Then, Sweetheart,” he gently tugged the ring from your finger, “I think you should go to him. Make him realize he shouldn’t let such a treasure like you go.”

“Steve—”

He shook his head. “I’ll be fine. I promise. Just, uh, let me get out of town before you come back to get your stuff, okay? I don’t think I can watch you walk away a second time. I’m owed some time off anyway. Think I’ll head up to the mountains or something, you know? Clear my head and my heart.”

More tears streaked down your cheeks, but you nodded.

It was the least you could do for him after him being so understanding.

Before you could think to stop yourself, you flung your arms around Steve’s neck and held on tight for several moments. Nuzzling into his cheek, you said, “I will always love you, Steve. Please, please, know that. I never wanted to hurt you.”

His arms, which had come to rest around your waist, tightened. His cheek brushed against yours as he nodded.

“The feeling’s mutual, Sweetheart.”

You don’t know how long the two of you sat like that, but eventually Steve pulled away. He leaned back until he could give you that soft smirk of his. His eyes might’ve been a bit glassy, but he couldn’t ever stop being a gentleman to save himself.

“It’s pretty late. Do you want to try and get some sleep? Or should I take you to him now? I don’t want you out at this hour on your own. It’s not safe, but I can understand wanting to tell him how you feel right now.”

You shook your head. “No, I can’t ask that of you. I can drive myself. I don’t know that I can sleep until I know, you know?”

Your hand shot up then and covered your mouth. Realization at what you’d said and who you said it to slammed into you. Warmth suffused your cheeks at your utter gaff.

Steve’s smirk shifted, but he never let up on his kindness. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. I know exactly how you feel. It’s wonderful being in love, isn’t it?”

“It should’ve been you, Steve. I’m so sorry it isn’t.”

“I’ll find her someday.”

“You will, and she will cherish you the way you deserve.” You reached up to cup his cheeks, firming your tone. It didn’t matter traitorous tears continued to trek down your cheeks. You meant every word that came out of your mouth next. “You, Steven Grant Rogers, are the best of men, and you deserve so much more than I could ever give you.”

He nodded, his throat working hard to swallow.

“Get changed, Sweetheart. You have a man to sweep off his feet.”

*****

Main Masterlist / Song Fic Masterlist

[lullabycurses]

E-Gothic Conformity: The Horror of the Algorithm (Part ??/??)

(x)

Hey Ghouls! Been a While!

Today I'm going to talk about something I've been telling my friends about (though with no nuance, so they always look at my like I've got three heads! Arguably not a bad thing...) for probably the last year. That is... This new, almost obsessive behavior... with conformity. I've mostly seen this on "The Tiktoks" and "The Reels", so this is totally connected with structurally oppressive preferences of the Algorithm.

This may need to be in two parts; Here I know I want to write a big regretfulesc love letter to my community, which even though I adore... I cannot help but feel afraid for the future. I also don't feel like finding sources this time

TW for mentions of ED and Racism

It's no secret that the algorithm pushes videos with thin white people who (seemingly!) overconsume off of websites like Dolls Kill and Shein, or even sites like Depop. There's obviously nothing to feel guilty about with buying things that you need (I've covered this in a past post).

But, I worry about the future of the community. I've seen baby bats ask if they are still goth if they don't wear a white face, I've seen creators tight-lace their corsets so tightly that they could receive bodily damage. I worry about those who develop eating disorders to fit this standard. I also worry about those who believe they have to hide their skin color to be apart of our extremely diverse community. I worry about people who feel that they need to buy into this mass amount of overconsumption to feel "goth enough".

The truth is, this is an arts-based subculture- you can do anything you want with it. It is necessary that we keep our fondness of Life as a cycle, all aspects of death are within that. Within life there is death and within that, there is death, in an endless cycle. But IMO it's more of a prompt than anything, Goth is The People.

But enough of that talk, I mean, I have a whole post (which I should probably update as new information comes to light) about it!

I think that a lot of this prioritizing looking as thin and as pale as possible is really dangerous. I know that it's under this guise of looking "dead, sickly, or ghoulish", but that's honestly such bull. We can look at gothic artist Tim Burton's reasons for his exclusion within his "aesthetic".

Not to mention this criticizing article on Wednesday! (From the Independent)

So, "Get on with it!" I hear you say.

Alright, alright. What does this mean for the future of the goth community? I mean, the culture of each social media garbage app is entirely different. Tiktok is kind of a deep pit that I avoid like the plague for how addictive it is (only for myself to replace it with reels). Instagram reels is honestly the place i have the most beef with.

There's this huge uptick in people minimizing what goth is (some of these people aren't even goths!).

They're the ones who are lowkey hierarchal assholes who think that Trad goth is the only form of gothic expression. (Like these dudes haven't read any gothic literature, written any annoying poetry, contemplated religion, spoken to a goth, or even been to a cemetery!)

So, TLDR, if we are not anti-white supremacist about this whole thing, we could see the next generation fall into consumerist patterns favoring whiteness over the beauty of gothic art.

As always, Thanks for reading!

Let me know if I'm missing anything, or if I should spend more time researching this topic!

Song recommendation; I have been obsessing over this band recently! Genre is like darkwave-alternative rock I suppose.

-Cat (Catofthenine)

[meowzerswowzers]

Da big Shadow AU design doc

Decided to put together a little design document for my Shadow Is The Main Character AU. Most of this contains old art I've already posted, but it's helpful to put it side by side with the info for visual clarity.

Shadow is the protagonist au:

just a fun "what if" alternate history for sonic as a series. What if Shadow was the series' main character? How would it shape the tone and story of Sonic?

The Thesis:

To me, a lot of Sonic is about meeting people and helping them overcome their struggles. For Shadow, I picture the inverse. The people Shadow meets makes him a better person. Think a Yusuke Urameshi sort of journey.

Color palette identity:

Sonic is characterized with a lot of primary colors. It gives me the feeling of a bright waterpark. There's a lot of beachside imagery in Sonic that lends to this too.

For Shadow, something darker but not bleak is a good equivalent. Like those fun arcade carpets. If the idea is the series is still created in the 90s, but with Shadow as title character, the tone should reflect the sort of in-vogue imagery of the time.

Shadow's 2000s style COOL wasn't a thing yet. It would be something a little different...

Here's a scene I never fully colored, but it + my reference images kinda help get the idea across.

The Story:

Shadow's backstory largely remains the same. He is created by Gerald Robotnik in an attempt to find a cure for Maria's illness. The project is ended in the same hostile way, Maria sends Shadow to Earth to escape, she does not make it.

Shadow remains in a deep sleep where he lands, until the site is one day disturbed…

Fastforward:

Eggman has known about his grandfather's creation for his whole life. Despite his own innovations, he can never seem to get his world domination plans off the ground. Knowing what he does about Shadow, he's convinced that some part of his remains must still be out there. For years, he searches, until he is eventually successful.

Eggman finds the ruins of the crash site. There, he is determined to revive Shadow.

Picture the part of Megaman Zero where Ciel first finds Zero. That's the vibe.

Shadow knows who he is, who created him, but the details about his last moments aboard the Ark are fuzzy. Eggman introduces himself as part of Shadow's family, informing him Gerald was indeed his grandfather and Maria his cousin. He takes on a faux sympathetic role, telling Shadow all that's transpired since the loss of the Ark. Taking advantage of Shadow's lost memory, it is all too easy for Eggman to entice him to take revenge.

Shadow joins Eggman's side and a successful campaign to conquer the world ensues. But while Shadow is plagued by doubts, it takes far too long for him to realize this isn't what Maria would have wanted.

Eggman rules the planet.

Fastforward again:

Consumed with guilt, Shadow decides the only way for him to make amends for the destruction he's helped cause, is to turn against Eggman.

And so, Shadow's journey begins! This would be where the series starts. From here, Shadow continues to meet new friends who help him heal.

The Characters:

Shadow:

Design wise, he needed something to visually set him apart from Shadow as he currently is. I'm personally too big of a fan of his design to change much about him though, so I settled on a little tattered capelet that visually echoes Eggman's post SA1 coat. It shows his ties to Eggman, while also getting the idea across that he no longer holds allegiance to him.

Eggman:

Eggman is in complete control in this world (save for that pesky hedgehog). I wanted his design to reflect how much more laid back he is here. That corporate bigwig that brandishes luxury athleasure. He hasn't a care~

There's a bit of dark comedy and industrialism to his reign. Most goods are branded by him, he probably has his own fashion line. You'll love the new Eggman power suits, because you don't have any other options. There is some animosity on a personal level between him and Shadow too, but see Metal Shadow's section for that.

Tails:

Tails is still a work in progress, so I have less to write about him unfortunately. He and Shadow have a rocky start that later forms into the brotherly bond he and Sonic have. Tails marks Shadow's commitment to make things right. He's the first person he is able to rescue from Eggman. But that trust is hard earned, as Shadow's involvement can't be ignored. Eventually forgiven, but not forgotten.

Amy:

Amy's design is mostly just her Fleetway look, with a few touches of Shadow's colors to tie her to the setting. Amy is a waitress at a roadside coffee shop. But she's not satisfied with a lackluster job in Eggman's world. Amy has dreams of being a hero. By day, she is taking orders for waffles and pancakes, by night, she is a self proclaimed "vigilante of justice"! (Which mostly involves her sticking it to the man by smashing stuff with her hammer.)

Shadow and Tails meet her on their journey when they stop at the cafe for lunch. Shadow later meets her again during a late night of her smashing parking meters and other Eggman property.

Amy does have a crush on Shadow, but the difference is that she's eager to hide it. (yes, yes you can make your tsundere jokes now.)

Shadow may or may not feel something for her too (he isn't sure), but it's a limbo sort of romance sub plot. Forever sorta stays in the "will they, won't they" territory. Feels different enough from Sonic and Amy's one sided dynamic, while not straying too far either. Both versions never see any real resolution.

Metal Shadow:

Metal Shadow has his own side plot/character arc going on. Eggman creates him much in the same way as Metal Sonic. He's a tool meant to aid his fight against Shadow.

Eggman has a personal axe to grind here though. Harking on his dialog in Sonic Frontiers about how everyone ignored him in favor of Maria (and ykno. Generally being happy about the idea of Sage being like a daughter to him) Eggman does have a real want for a family connection. Shadow turning against him was another notch in the ol' abandonment issues. Metal Shadow may have also been made to fill some of that void. However, now that he's here, Metal Shadow is just a reminder of what's gone. While proud of his creation, Eggman resents Metal Shadow. Metal Shadow in turn, is a little confused.

oh yea and i still gotta hit him with a train somehow.

[ch1meraa]

I don’t often make public posts like this but I just wanted to say a huge thankyou to my long term followers and to those who are more recent. It means a great deal to me and especially at this time. In recent months my father has been unwell and just recently underwent a very important surgery which I’m so happy to say has gone well! He is now back home and recovering but will be getting a follow up surgery in 10 weeks time.

Over the Summer where I live there’s been lots happening and this very adversely affected my mental health. I’m still not 100% and don’t think I ever will be but it got so bad that I considered taking a hiatus from the few sites where I am active.

I’ve decided not to do that after some deep thought as I still want to share my ideas and art however, I will be compartmentalising the TF stuff to the specific side account where all my Transformers Plagued stuff lives. I’m not sure when I’ll update it as I just want to take a break from it and explore making content that isn’t specific to any fandom.

I’m looking really forward to sharing new content and I just again wanted to say thanks to those who continue to support and follow my blog, the recent messages I’ve had have been a huge boost and very uplifting! :) 💜

New stuff to come soon and Halloween is right around the corner, my favourite time of the the year~

[zeta-neubourn]

Hard Reset

Kinda feels weird, having nuked my deviantART and Twitter (and a couple other places) in a matter of a few hours just like that. 'S about 18 years worth of stuff across both those sites... err, I mean, I still have it ALL archived, it's just not there. (I'd have cleaned this place up, too, but I'm still looking at a way to do so.) A small part of me is bummed out, but I honestly thought it'd hurt a lot more, but I remember why I did this is because I'm tired. I think the AI art theft plague thing was what broke me on that. ...Of course, that doesn't mean at ALL that I'm going anywhere or quitting. :P I'm just gonna retreat to my own lil corner of the internet. Perhaps open a lil forum and host a Discord server again. It'll be for me and whoever would like to visit (and is cool). I definitely want to look into a newsletter and a webring. Really, I think the best way to move forward is to step back out of social media and regroup in a place where cooperate bullcrap can't tell you what to do and doesn't promote casual theft. At any rate, I'll keep folks posted, if you care enough to stick with me, even if it's just a newsletter or Discord or something.

[artzychic27]

You know how in the character posts for the DC Hero Kids, you but how the heroes had their kids? How’d it work with the villains?

Marinette

Sabine and Tom were having trouble conceiving, so they went on a donor and surrogate site and found this amazing option… Then it turned out to be the Joker

His love for theatrics and mayhem turned out be genetic, becuase Marinette grew up to be a toned down, slightly more fashionable version of him

Adrien

Gabriel got drunk on a business trip and slept with the Queen of Gotham City while she was dating the Joker. He couldn’t have gotten out of Gotham fast enough

Nine months later, a blonde baby in a basket shows up on their doorstep, and Emille demands answers

Alya

About three years after Nora was born, Marlena and Otis tried for their second child, but nothing was working. So, Sabine (Before she learned who all was on the donor and surrogate site) gave them the link to the website

Nine months later, they had a daughter who could solve a puzzle in under three minutes by the time she was two

Nino

Nino’s mom’s were looking for a donor, and lo and behold, their old friend Sabine introduces them to this donor and surrogate website, now knowing that a certain shapeshifter was registered as a donor

Nine months later, they screamed when their son came out as a puddle of clay before reshaping into a baby… They found a new donor for Chris

Chloé

Affairs, because that’s stuff rich people get away with

Terra, not wanting to expose her baby to her villainous life, passed Chloé off to André, saying, “If you find me, I will kill you.”

Sabrina

The elusive website strikes again! Roger and his wife find a donor

Nine months later, their baby girl is born with a strange birthmark on the left half of her face, and she’s shown an interest in shiny coins

Alix

I think you all know what happens

While pregnant with Alix, Barbara Ann was forced to participate in the ritual which turned her into Cheetah. Nine months later, she gave birth to Alix, a human-cheetah hybrid. Alim and Jalil loved her regardless

Nathaniel

Aya and Maison aren’t able to conceive, so their good friend Alim tells them about this donor and surrogate website (Before Barbara turned into Cheetah)

Doris Zeul, however, didn’t exactly tell them she’s a size-shifting metahuman, and she passed those genes along to Nathaniel

Juleka

The website strikes again!

Anarka and Jagged (Back when they were together) find a nice-looking lady on the website. Then nine months later, Juleka stole a few euros off her dad while he was holding her

Rose

Rose’s dads were looking for a surrogate to give birth to Rose and met this wonderful woman named Pamela Isley

They named Rose after the flowers that seemed to grow around the hospital room after she was born

Kim

Donor time! And what better way to find one than by going on VillainBabies.com?

Éliott gives birth to his scale-covered son, and he and Teo immediately fall in love with him

Max

Claudia and her wife were looking for donors when they came across the website. Of course they’re going to choose the inventor/CEO

They took Max to the park, and he seemed to have it out for one of the other kids, Ismael, for some reason

Myléne

After Fred’s wife left, he was in a bad state when there was a knock at his door

Imagine his surprise when he found a baby with straw-like hair. He was determined to take care of his new daughter despite the nightmares that seem to plague him every night

Ivan

The Bruels found Ivan on their doorstep

A visit to the doctor confirmed he had some Venom in his system, which explains how he was able to easily lift the couch

Lila

One of her moms got drunk while in Gotham with friends and made a horrible decision, the worst possible decision ever… At least they got a daughter out of it

Of course, now their daughter inherited her deadbeat dad’s powers, so that’s fun

[helladirections]

What do u think of the phrase “from the river to the sea Palestine will be free”? Apparently it’s antisemitic and I wanted ur opinion

Short answer: Yes, mostly.

Long answer: below the cut. I need to preface with a few things:

My statement on the war is the same as it has always been. Dying is bad, I am concerned about people living in imminent danger (including people I know and people I don't). Also, I have always been for a two state solution, human rights, self determination, etc. for everybody.

There's a narrative about how it's not necessarily the responsibility of a person to explain what is / isn't offensive to their culture / identity, which is valid. But most of my Jewish community is very into educating others, and I'd rather you come to me than not at all.

There's an old saying, "2 Jews, 3 opinions." So don't take what I have to say as the end all be all. Also, while I've spent a lot of time intentionally educating myself on this issue (especially beyond what they just teach us growing up), I have never claimed to be an expert.

Resources you might be interested in at the bottom.

Like most things in Judaism and surrounding modern day Israel, this answer can be a bit complicated when going into the full context. So please bear with me. And remember that one of our main texts (Talmud) is a tiny section of Torah surrounded by a giant page of two ancient rabbis literally arguing with each other. Please don't be mad that the answer isn't super easy.

First, a bit of history.

Claims to the land: Both Jews and Palestinians have ancestral claims to the piece of land that we call modern Israel. There's really not a way to argue around that, nor should anyone. In ancient times, Jews / Israelites / Hebrews were not the only people to be living there. Sometimes they lived in peace with others, sometimes they were at war. (As was typical for the time period). Up until about the time of the 1948 UN resolution, there wasn't really a concept of "Palestinians" as a specifically Arab people. Palestine was just one of the names used for the land, in addition to Israel, Zion, and others.

Theology: Jews have religious texts claiming that Israel is our homeland given by Gd. Much (but not all) of the religious context actually comes directly from the story of Passover, a holiday which is starting on Monday night. Jews were slaves in Egypt, Pharoah was bad, 10 plagues, parting of the Red Sea, 40 years in the desert, Israel. Etc. Do I think that this should actually matter in a modern day political / civil conflict? No. But I think it's worth mentioning for context because some people think it is relevant.

Religious Spaces: Jews, Christians, and Muslims all have highly important landmarks around what is now Israel.

Jews in the land: Although the Jews were as a whole kicked out of Israel in the post Temple period (after the second Temple was destroyed, leaving only the Western Wall that we have now), a portion of Jews remained in the area. Additionally, there has been a pretty through line of belief that Jews would some day be back in that land. (Also Passover: at the end of the service we say "next year in Jerusalem!") Zionism - the belief that there should be a modern state of Israel, has always existed in some form, although sometimes not using that name.

Modern Political Agreements: There were some phases of individual Jewish communities going into the land and building what is now Tel Aviv, parts of Jerusalem, etc. Then there was the British Mandate. I forget the timeline, but there were multiple international offers to give Jews a piece of land was smaller than what Israel is now, or didn't even include Jewish holy sites, and from my knowledge, most of the Jewish leaders at those times were ready to accept anything they were offered.

Then after the Holocaust, there were millions of displaced Jews with nowhere to go. One of the primary reasons why the UN established the modern state of Israel was to address that problem - No one wanted to let them in, they didn't want to go anywhere random, and a general sense that there had to be a place that Jews could go to a be safe if something like the Holocaust were to happen again. That UN resolution was in 1948. There has been on and off war in the region since well before 1948, but the day after that resolution, all hell broke loose.

Gaza & Hamas: A lot of progress has been made since 1948. Israel has peace treaties with many Arab countries, Egypt being a prime example. Most relevant to this question and this moment in time is that in 2005, Israel left Gaza. The Israeli government displaced tons of Jewish & non Jewish Israelis to give that land to Palestinians. After leaving, Gaza was left to govern itself. The government that was chosen was Hamas. Hamas is not really a government and does not look after its people, its goal is not to govern, but to destroy Israel. And not only to destroy Israel because it is the political entity, but because it is the Jewish state specifically.

Now, the actual phrase

Meaning of From The River to The Sea: This phrase directly references from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea. It calls to completely eliminate the existence of the modern, democratic, Jewish state of Israel, and replace it with a modern, most likely undemocratic and led by Hamas, state of Palestine.

Also: This catchy chant was created and continues to be pushed by people who are antisemitic and want to destroy not only modern Israel, but see all Jews as inherently evil.

However: It's a catchy chant. People want peace, human rights, and self determination, just as I said above. If all the people around you are claiming to want those same things, and this is the catchy chant that has become part of the brand, it makes sense to join in on it.

Plus: From the the river to the sea, no one should be oppressed, deprived of human rights, or living in imminent danger. Dying is bad.

So what does that all mean?

One of the major reasons why modern Israel exists is for the protection of the Jewish people. One of the (many) major reasons why Palestinians do not have a modern state is because Hamas and other Palestinian leadership have refused to negotiate with Israel and have only ever called for its complete and total destruction. Hamas has always called for destruction through violent means not just because Israel is currently there, but because Israel is Jewish.

So my "final answer": The chant was created by, is in line with, and supports movements which not only seek to eliminate the modern state of Israel, but do so through violent and destructive means specifically because it is Jewish. Therefore, in my opinion and that of most of the Jewish community, From The River To The Sea Palestine Will Be Free is an antisemitic slogan.

Furthermore, regardless of if the slogan is defined formally as antisemitic or not, it often accompanies people and actions which make Jews, including myself, feel unsafe.

That being said, there have always been Jewish voices calling for the elimination of Israel. After all, 2 Jews, 3 Opinions. And, many, if not most, people who repeat that phrase don't know the full history and don't intend to be antisemitic - the Pro Palestinian movement has done a wonderful job at branding around human rights.

Some more of my opinions, just for the record if I still managed to have your attention.

Just because you disagree with a government or the way a country was formed, does not mean the country does not have a right to exist. I disagree with the American government almost all the time, and the founding of this country relied on abusing BIPOC. But America is here, and so we deal with it and try to make the best of it.

I hate Netanyahu. I always have. My grandpa, who used to like him, now hates him as much as I do. We talked last night about how he is making it so difficult to be Jewish around the world right now.

My definition of the word Zionism: The belief that modern Israel has a right to exist as a democratic Jewish state.

My perfect version of that land: People stop killing each other, everyone has the right to self governance, universal human rights, everyone has safe access to their own holy sites. I think the most likely way to get there is through some sort of two state solution. I do not know what the lines look like.

Israel policy and politics used to be a hobby for me, something I cared about and found interesting. It was also an entry point into my political career. Then it was my job. Now it's not fun and I do try to avoid it because I get too emotional and I can't really do anything about it anyway. I said Netanyahu is making it hard to be Jewish anywhere in the world, because diaspora Jews are constantly being blamed for the actions of an independent country. It gets hard.

I have generally avoided talking about October 7th, and the ongoing war. That is because there are images from that day that I cannot unsee. My intrusive thoughts are those images. It's not healthy for me to be plagued by that constantly.

You may have read me write about this before, but I know a lot of people in Israel right now. My best friend and her son - my nephew, live just west of Jerusalem in a small Orthodox community, which means it sometimes takes days for me to get responses from her after a big event, especially if it overlaps with Shabbat or another holiday. I check in with her just a couple of days ago though, and she said she's doing well and she feels safe.

Resources you might be interested in:

ADL on From The River to The Sea AJC on From The River to The Sea AP on From The River to The Sea

History.com overview of Israel history MyJewishLearning overview of Israel history US State Department on the creation of Israel in 1948 Brittanica on history & conflict in Israel

Anyway, I hope this answers your question, I'm sorry it was so long, and I'm aware that I'm about to get some hateful comments. If you are going to send me a hateful anon, just know that I'm going to block you, then check my blocked list, and know who you are. I'm not going to sacrifice my mental health and stability over people who don't understand the full context of what they are talking about and choose to just attack with hate.

[thrudgelmir2333]

"No Saints in Peace Times" - The Continuity of Sanctuary in Masami Kurumada's Writing

When you ask the question "Are there Saints in Sanctuary when there is no Holy War?" are you really asking just that? This is another Reddit-inspired post. I like doing these. Sometimes people actually do ask interesting questions about the Saint Seiya franchise that I like musing on, I just don't put all my thoughts into a response there cause Reddit in general isn't the best platform for essays. I also often get the feeling that this kind of 'overthinking' is frowned upon in that site. Recently someone was very surprised that I made a pot joke in response to a post about a weirdly colored frame of a character, like they expect me to write essays about the most minute things. I can only imagine because, to a lot of people, answering questions online is about posturing and signaling allegiences and not really having human thoughts about something that interests you. Someone asked on R/SaintSeiya if there are Saints operating in Sanctuary between Holy Wars. You know, if they stick around during those 240-year-long periods when Hades is sealed up and the "cameras are off". And I think it is an interesting question because, again, it's one of those lost world-building opportunities that Kurumada just kind of let the other authors who made the spin-off mangas answer for him. At least in story-telling, you know? As opposed to when he has one of those interviews where he thoughtlessly 'expands' on his story's lore, like when he told people that "Cosmos makes you have eternal youth" or that Gold Saint Cosmos had midlochlorians (or maybe that's just some kind of trauma memory from something else just as stupid he has suggested about his own characters)

This post is sort of going to be about all of that. Get ready for it to be long btw. (don't worry, I threw in a couple of images)

Fertility in World-Building

When people have asked me why I chose to write in Saint Seiya when I have such nasty things to say about it, I always say the same thing.

It's because it's a pretty damn fertile world.

Yes, it's fertilisers comes straight out of Masami Kurumada's ass, but hey, produce is produce.

Again, you don't come up with 2.1 million words (so far) to say about it without there being something special about what Kurumada has done. However, I want to draw an important distinction between that being the merit of his work or the merit of his lack of it. It's not so much that this incredible tree of ideas has been planted in it, but more so that it covers so much fucking ground in terms of creative landscapes, that it can't help BUT be fertile.

Think about it for a second; in Saint Seiya, just conceptually, there is Greek mythology, alchemy, weird Muvian people, Shinto and Buddhist influences from Kurumada's martial artist background (one of his few helpful contributions), Japanese corporatism, mistreated orphans, bizarre technology, power suits and an overall fusion of east and west that is found in the best world-built stories like One Piece.

And this without getting to the astrology.

Right! This is so my dad, I swear!

Wait, what? But that's the same as...

I have friends that love astrology. I have friends that call themselves astrologists. Proudly, so. I myself have a bit of a fascination with it.

But holy shit, is there a bigger field for personal speculation than astrology? This topic is so abstract, based on symbolism and subject to cultural backgrounds that it is the backbone of countless conspiracy theories, religions and lores. Not to mention a synonym for that horrible news-channel commentary-segment culture that now plagues everything from sports to politics.

Which is to say you can basically make up shit about any constellation and chances are people will just accept what you say. You can take astrology and pretty much say anything you want about what it means for Mars to be shining brighter and everyone even remotely interested will take you for your word.

In writing, astrology is the perfect vehicle to create a sense of instant spiritual meaning to your characters' designs and actions. It's like salt; you add just enough of it to the pot and even the most horrible cooking will suddenly seem 'ok'.

And this is all because astrology ultimately has a paradox inherent to it; that its simultaneously the most powerful force in the universe, capable of controlling our destinies all across the distant reaches of the universe, while also being the subtlest and most imperceptible one. My chances of winning the lottery are virtually zero, but that's okay, because it's the month of my Zodiac, so my 'luck' is unusually high. I am BOUND to get something. Right? Good luck proving me wrong.

It's religious thinking. It inflames the senses and gives us a sense that there is order to the chaos, all while making itself unfalsifiable. It's no surprise Saint Seiya is especially popular in societies still culturally tied to their religious rituals, even if abstractly, like Brazil and France.

So when you combine it with all those other elements I mentioned, it makes it so that the world of Saint Seiya has this unusually high potential. You can tell stories about technology, society, struggles between genders, the battle of what beauty means and epic accounts of wars against the Gods, all in one setting. So long as you have the right creative person at the helm.

Right.

What all these elements show is that there is no mystery to Saint Seiya's success. It had all the right ingredients after all. It just needed to be stirred right by someone in the position to do so. But once you capture that initial success, then comes the time to invest on it, to see it to term.

Kurumada, the Idea

So, to answer this question, let's talk about the writer for a moment (or two). Masami Kurumada is sort of a fascinating example of a mangaka. I'm a bit obsessed with the guy. He's one of those creatives that have birthed an enrapturing world out of their minds, like Athena sprung out of Zeus' head, and then just catastrophically failed to understand its meaning, implications or potential, like George Lucas or the Wizard Lady. But Kurumada is also one of the most confounding examples of it, because, as is typical of mangakas, not much is known or understood in the West of what kind of guy he is, or even what kind of creative person. This is just a reality about understanding the people who write and draw mangakas because, not only do they live in a pretty quiet society, socially speaking, usually with their own local social medias to boot, but they themselves typically are the quieter type of people. You know, the artists and the nerds.

So on top of the interpretative ambiguity that goofy characters like George Lucas inspire, there is this added layer of fog around Kurumada, especially in the West. You can make up all sorts of shit about what he might have said or done and chances are you will have reasonable plausability to believe it, or find it a positive or negative.

As a result, if you look up Kurumada and his career, at least through English sources, you'll find that a lot of the writing done about it is by fans. And as a result, it looks unprofessional at best and hegiographic at worst. Conversation about his life in social media dedicated to Saint Seiya carries this weird casual fanboy tone to it, describing his art style in an odd, opinionated way that doesn't exactly scream objectivity.

This, I know, is because to the eyes of people unimpressed by Kurumada, he's not worth writing about, which leaves the fans a bit of a monopoly in the practice of documenting the guy.

Why, just relatively recently, someone circulated a story on R/SaintSeiya that Kurumada not only got into a lot of fights, but pretty much badgered his way into Shueisha to get him his job. The post paints it as an act of badassery, like Kurumada was this confident guy who refused to accept that he got the boot from destiny, much like Seiya and many of his other protagonists when they affront their gods with their heroic defiance. The story is based on a blogpost celebrating Kurumada's 50th birthday with a thorough account of his life that is arguably better than anything in wikipedia, but still very flattering (more on that below) Here's the source paragraph for the Reddit thread's statements:

A sober account of events

You could read this very normal account as the story of Kurumada imposing himself into the mangaka industry with his sheer chadness, as the Redditer did.

OR, you could read it more as an editor feeling sorry for a very passionate artist and giving him a starting shot at the studio. Something he didn't even earn, if the aforementioned contest results are to be believed. Which is far more realistic, but less flattering to the 'idea of Kurumada'.

Ah, the ancient times! When animators could just force their way into animation and comic book studios, sleep at their desks and just be allowed to keep working for these companies! Or accost Walt Disney in the street and demand a job after shoving your dossier of animations in their faces. Or in Kurumada's case, 'showing your gumption'.

This is why you should always be very careful reading accounts of people's lives, especially in 'commemorative' pieces, and especially if they're done by fans. These things are usually more akin to publicity stunts than they are to legitimate documentation. More often than not they are vague and inform their tone with their pre-existing intentions.

However, this sort of lame deitification isn't limited to random social media posts. Here's an example talking about the way Kurumada draws from Wikipedia, the wiki everyone can edit. And yes, this was actually written in a site that is supposed to be about objective documentation:

Transcript of Kurumada Fanboying, found in the Wiki everyone can edit.

I want to make clear that despite my cynicism, whoever edited this page obviously had good intentions in mind. I'm sure they are wonderful people. It takes gumption to volunteer to do this sort of stuff, to borrow a term.

But this is just shit wiki work. I don't need to tell you that describing someone's artstyle as "sometimes can seem rough, but his improvement can be seen when comparing old works to new" isn't so much an objective description of the facts, but more so a subjective, insecure evaluation from someone clearly acting as a lawyer to Kurumada's work. On what's supposed to be the world's biggest online reference book. Hence the "citation needed". And some wonder why the franchise's wikis are equally filled with personal commentary on the show and its characters. People don't just put those up to annoy rival wikipedia editors, it's to point out they've done a shit research compilation in what's supposed to be a reliable source of information about someone. And discussion about Kurumada, not just his wikipedia page, is usually riddled with hegiographic tones, where he's described as someone "who has influenced the greatest names in manga today" or "once competed with the greatest". But it doesn't end there.

Seen above; paragraph of barely-conceiled speculation in Wikipedia, the wiki anyone can edit

I don't know about you, but half this stuff feels like a loose collection of 'impressions' of what's going on, based on uncited sources and a wonky timeline of events. It sounds less like a careful description of events, and more of an opinionated online article about the rise and fall of an industry artist's works.

This is, again, because a lot of the talking about Kurumada in the West is done by the fans of the height of his career. You're not going to find the name of a man born in the 50s who drew cartoons in the 70s and 80s in the mouths of people who acquired their taste in media in the 2000s. And that's okay. But if you care so much about it, you know, do a bit of a better job filtering what's factual from what isn't. It's not that hard!

Cause otherwise you get weirdos on Reddit who legitimately think that the only reason Saint Seiya isn't more successful is because 'It got screwed by the network' or that Kurumada is some kind of chad for basically pulling ahead of a bunch of other artists that did better work than he did. And then whine about why he can't compete in people's minds with Dragon Ball.

Usually, if you want accurate, unbiased information on what kind of guy Kurumada is, you need to go straight to the source; the man himself. Funnily enough, the only stuff you can find cited in Wikipedia about Kurumada is stuff describing things he's said in interviews or statements about organisations he's worked under, etc

Now, Kurumada is an award-winning mangaka. There's no doubt about his success and impact. Most of us will never seen even one percent of the triumph in life he has acquired, and that means something. The guy is referenced throughout anime, his characters have been used as templates for other great mangakas works (see my post about how Ikki may have influenced characters like Byakuya in Bleach) and many have cited him as an inspiration for their own careers in art, from mangas to cinema.

Poster Kurumada has made for the 2010 Movie "Clash of the Titans". Kurumada was contacted by Warner Brothers at the time to collaborate with Louis Leterrier's movie remake. Louis himself has stated Kurumada was an influence in his work

I mean, you don't get at least 4 other mangakas to write stories set in your world if you don't have some kind of talent, right? Look at all the people whose minds Kurumada has impacted! Perhaps the hegiographic descriptions are a bit much, but there's a root to why they are written?

This world that Kurumada has conceived must be wonderful to delve into, if it has seen so much success and praise. Surely when we dive into the matter, we will find depthful characters, a personal story of a hero Kurumada wanted to talk about and a setting where characters have multiple dimensions to them? We will surely find an answer to "Are there Saints in Sanctuary when there's no Holy War?"

Yeah...

Well, it's complicated.

The Writing of Kurumada

For those of you who don't know me very well, I write.

I'm not saying that as some kind of statement as to why my opinion is more valid, just to explain why this topic might be important to me.

I'm also not saying that I love writing. As someone once said:

So wise. Someone should put this in hyeroglyphs or something, seriously.

So what do I care about writing if I hate it? Well, this is because there is a difference between you loving something, and something being important to you. You can revolve your life about something that is important to you and still... ----ing... hate doing it. And how limited it is to conveying your thoughts and feelings.

That being said, it does put me in the weird position where I don't really respect any kind of laziness in writing and world-building, because if I was able to spend the last decade of my life writing 2.1 Million words for a franchise I don't even respect,... then someone else not even bothering to do proper world-building and yet being in some kind of position of authority over commenting on it does drive me a bit up the wall.

And, twist, Kurumada's 'world building' drives me up the fucking Wailing Wall. I can see Elysium from how high he drives me.

And no, I don't mean just the recent stuff.

On that topic, for those of you who don't know, Masami Kurumada, in the style of such respectable peers as George Lucas and the Wizard Lady, has spent the last 20-30 years of his life simultaneously not giving a shit about their Magnum Opus and interfering with it in the dumbest ways possible. From revealing that Saga has always just secretly been a "Force Baby" in the same manner as Anakin Skywalker, to stating that the reason Shion lives so long is because "Cosmos is just that convenient that it gives you a long life", Kuru seems to be on a mission to ruin the depth of his world with these milktoast, pandering concepts.

In my opinion, however, the problem stems from much further back, right to the early days of Saint Seiya. Could the signs of his lack-of-shit-given be there from the start? Let's investigate.

And what better place to start than the 50th anniversary account that the earlier Reddit post mentioned? It was so thorough, after all. And it's bound to portray him in a positive light.

Oh.

So the whole thing was an act of spite?

Don't worry, it gets worse.

Uh-uh... okay...

Wait, lol, what?

So... he just recycled a bunch of his own old ideas together?

It shouldn't? Why not?! lol

OH, so it's not laziness, because the people he's selling these old ideas to haven't read them in his other works??? W O W

So, what you could conclude from this, and allow me to influence your conclusion with my own (just like the commemorative piece above tried to), is that Saint Seiya wasn't conceived because Kurumada wanted to tell a story with rich characters that evolve in a dephful world.

It's because he was MAD his previous ideas didn't work with the public and so he manufactured them all into a friendlier, lazier package. One that he could sell to this dumb-fuck public that didn't like his stories.

And he made his whole success out of it.

Yes, this is the origin of Saint Seiya and its writing. The foundational spirit of the story millions of people love to this day (and that I spent half my life obsessing over). A guy sitting at his desk, conceiving characters for a mangaka he didn't want to make, all to chase an idea of success after basically giving up on his personal projects.

If you're the type, like me, that occasionaly peruses the fandom for stuff to talk about, do me a favor; from now on, if you ever see someone whine on the internet about why Saint Seiya can't compete with modern storytelling, just show them these wonderful nuggets. Show them how petty and selfish the foundational spirit of this tale was, how Kurumada didn't even make personal decisions on who should win the galaxian tournament rounds. How he left it to reader surveys, because to him, it didn't matter who won, so long as it was the most popular choice.

There was never any message, any curiosity about this world he was creating, any interest in exploring or discovering things in it. It was just a sad, spiteful, last-ditch attempt at success by a mangaka that didnt even earn his spot at Shueisha being gradually pushed out of the market to make it big during an era of relatively low creative competition.

Kurumada: "Oh, they want trash?! I'll give them trash!! I'll give them all the trash they wa- Oh, it's selling how much? I mean, this is a rich world, filled with wonderful characters! Like Saga! Btw, did you know Saga came from space?"

If you're wondering why this franchise has landed in the hands of people who don't care about anything but selling merch, this is it. It's because even the supposed guardian of the story's integrity didn't give a damn. And the worst part of it is that most of the sources detailing all of this treat it like an inspiring story. Because to them, it doesn't mean anything, because Saint Seiya's narrative value, it's depth in writing, is already decided upon by a combination of its success, nostalgia and how shiny the armors look.

Okay, Thrud, what does this have to do with anything? "Are there Saints in Sanctuary when there's no Holy War?" or not?

Don't rush me! I'm getting to it!

The Price for lack of vision

Hopefully now you understand why I started this post with two sections basically dumping on Kurumada's whole career. It's to make the point that he's far, far, far from being the right person to fully capitalise on these successful elements Saint Seiya has in its soup in the long term. Kurumada is a jock that happens to know how to draw, and the anime injected enough catholic fantasy into their adaptation to ensure Latin America would always be a viable market. Masami didn't even have enough confidence in Saint Seiya to pick by his own vision which characters should advance in the story during the first arc of his epic tale!

So imagine trusting someone like that to write compelling, rich story arcs.

Or understand the differences between Dante's Inferno and the Greek myths of hell, or how they collide in storytelling.

Or taking a comment about how Shun is an LGBT symbol without doing something spiteful in return, like giving him a two-chapter girlfriend named after the interviewer's magazine?

Or imagining what Sanctuary is like for its characters when there isn't a Holy War going on?

And speaking of characters, to pull another Reddit post that annoyed me (mostly from how utterly dumb and caveman-spirited it is), some meme-manufacturing dummy only interested in farming karma made the shallow comparison that Shiori's Lost Canvas Gold Saint characters would be a good replacement for Kurumada's characters in his story.

Moments like this make me wish I was Palpatine falling down the well.

There's a lot wrong with this suggestion of swapping the Sanctuary Arc's characters with Lost Canvas, the worst being that Deathmask, of all the characters in Sanctuary Arc, should be replaced by Manigoldo. I'm not going to go in-depth about how terribly that would work, but I just want to show how the person who made the meme is signalling to a culture of people who thinks the quality of characters is measured not by their utility and effectiveness to story arcs, but by weather or not they are 'badass'. In their minds, all Manigoldo really has over Deathmask is that A) he was an antagonist instead of a villain and B) he briefly fought Thanatos, the Death God (and lost). And that's enough for them to be a 'better character'.

But while the post is just something the author thoughtlessly created for the purpose of making a number of community approval go up, it also points towards the fact that there is a generalised insatisfaction in a lot of Saint Seiya fans about its characters. I would posit that a lot of the reason so many gravitate to Lost Canvas (even though Saintia Sho is better imo) as a comparison of "Saint Seiya being done well" is because it was the first to show that Saint Seiya could be capitalised on to create a story a bit more character-driven.

Which is to say Lost Canvas isn't great, just that it's better than what we had at that point.

The truth is, people are passionate about Saint Seiya and they want to see its potential realised, even if for silly, Dragon-Ball-fans-dunked-on-me ways. They want to see their enjoyment of it validated, elevated to cultural relevance. Some of my most popular posts online about Saint Seiya are posts that... accidentally make Saint Seiya seem smarter than it is.

So, when you ask the question "Are there Saints in Sanctuary when there's no Holy War?" are you really asking just that?

Writing-in-Depth

That's a warfare pun.

See, defense-in-depth was a style of battle ordering where you deliberately arranged the outer layers of your army to be weak, so as to lure your enemy to attack deeply into your center, allowing you to surround them from your stronger positions and....

Oh, whatever. You don't care about that.

When people talk about 'hidden depths' in a character, usually they refer to discovering that a seemingly superficial character actually has a compelling motive for their seemingly superficial actions. You observe a character, see them doing something strange routinely, don't pay any attention to it, and then you discover its because someone once told them it made their spouse smile, or something. My favorite example is Senor Pink, from One Piece.

Senor Pink in his natural state, surrounded by fangirls

Senor Pink is a wild character. He dresses like a baby, has a baby suckler, wears sunglasses, works for one of the most ruthless villains in all of One Piece and has a Devil Fruit that lets him swim through land. And he's 100% serious about all of those things. This is not a gag he's pulling. This dude is dedicated to this shtick and god help you if you laugh at it.

He's also one of the most surprising and beloved side characters in all of One Piece, a story celebrated for its character twists and turns.

I'd advise you to read up on him, but not only is the picture above worth a thousand words, but you'd risk spoiling yourself a pretty neat surprise about why Senor Pink is the way he is. I will offer a hint in the image below, though.

One of the few female characters in One Piece that doesn't totally look like either Nami or Robin

The Senor Pink backstory was a pleasant surprise to a lot of people. Many already liked him for his outrageous design and attitude to his job, but it was also unexpected that such a touching story would be told about a guy inserted into one of the most villainous crews in One Piece. All his coworkers and friends are sadists, liars, manipulators, murderers, torturers, bullies and tyrants, but Senor Pink transcended his context as a character and showed a depth no one expected in him, to the point it was almost surprising a guy like him still worked for Donquixote Doflamingo.

This doesn't mean that in order to have depth in your characters you need to trick your audience. It just means that you have to show they are about something a little bit more than just their names and their jobs. We, the audience, assumed limitations on Senor Pink based on superficial context, and then discovered he had the depths of a human being worried about daily life, loved ones and loved things.

That, in turn, helps paint a grander picture that we could potentially expect that out of any character in One Piece, even the most unassuming ones. Eichiro Oda demonstrated that there is no reason to think there haven't been 1000 Senor Pinks throughout the story. Through the depth of its characters, the world building is given depth. Meanwhile;

Saint Seiya characters in the wild, doing their mating call

You wanna know what they're weeping so hard about? You really wanna know? They're crying that they have to go kill Athena during the Hades Arc. See, Hades ressurrected them and... it's a long story okay? What matters is that they are invading Sanctuary as Specters, hereby becoming traitors to their honor as Gold Saints. The honor of their jobs.

They don't even know Saori that well, btw. That guy on the right? His name is Camus. He's never even MET Saori. He doesn't know what she's like, or the speeches of motivation she's given or even who her favorite boy to whip is (Saint Seiya joke, Im sorry if you don't get it).

He just knows she is Athena. So he cries. Which is to say Camus cries because he's a Gold Saint and so he's supposed to. Not because Saori means something special to him personally. Camus has never stated anything about himself that indicates he gives two shits about anything other than moralising Hyoga for...

...for crying about his mom? Wait, what? Isn't that sort of what he's doing here?

Wait, what's going on here?! Why is Kurumada's writing like this?!

This, my friends, is where we get to the point of this Thrumblr post.

Are there Saints in Sanctuary during Peace?

So, "are there Saints in Sanctuary outside of Holy Wars?"

What I believe the reddit poster was asking, in a small way, was if there is a world beyond what we are shown in the cartoon that Kurumada has envisioned? Does the writing of Saint Seiya, or even of its spin offs, thread towards an unseen dimension, a hidden world-building depth, that we can all be confident in?

Does the story of these characters continue once the curtain closes on Saga's reign, or Julian Solo's rampage? Or does it all blink into the next conflict?

This question speaks to matters of temporal permanence of ideas in a story, of course, of consistency. In a way it's a test to wether or not its worth looking into the story a bit deeper for greater meaning, or a personal message from the author. Is the story smarter than it looks? Does this imaginary world keep on spinning after the camera cuts to black? I'm afraid to say, no. It doesn't.

Not in the minds of its writers anyway.

Obviously there is continuity the technical way, because it makes sense to be, but it doesn't exist in any imagined or thought-out sense, which is the most important. It all just passes by like Harry Potter's summers at the Dursleys.

This is because the world of Saint Seiya doesn't know what its characters are other than action pieces IN holy wars. They are power rangers, going from episode to episode, battle to battle, uninterrupted. While the occasional moment of break exists, there is no 'living' in piece. We aren't shown what these characters are or what lives they've lived when they're not, because they were imagined by someone who never intended to 'create a world'.

Tragically, even Shiryu, the best character in the franchise, only has a simple farmer life with Shunrei in rural china to look forward to. Not that we're shown a whole lot of it, of course. This, obviously, before he gets called back to do his duty.

Go to her, Shiryu! Go to "Sunrei", whoever she is! Leave this shit-show behind!

In One Piece, we can imagine what happens in the entire world while Luffy and his crew battle Kaido in Wano for a year. We picture gears turning and characters moving because, countless times, Oda, who is passionate about his world, has shown us in side stories and catch-up chapters what they have been up to, and the impact it all had in the main characters without them even realising it. Meanwhile, Kurumada had an entire storyline of Shun being Hades' vessel and ikki failing to rescue him, and neither character got to exchange a serious conversation of confrontation later when met with Hades personally. It's like it didn't even matter to them, or that it didn't happen, because the whole thing was just a temporary fancy in the author's head.

There's no continuity to things, no permanence of objects. Things happen, but they then don't continue or matter. Characters rise and fall like the passing of the tides, barely making a dent in our memory.

At the end of every arc, when Saori and her Saints pose to the camera and it all fades to black, the world ceases to, indeed, exist. Sanctuary dies. It disappears from the imagination and lives no life until the curtains reopen. An absent of war in the characters lives means an absence of meaning, of pertinence, of life and character and depth.

There are no Saints in peace times.

Thrudgelmir2333

Post Scriptum

Now, there could come the day that someone could pose this question to Kurumada. "Kurumada-sensei, are there Saints in Sanctuary between Holy Wars?"

You can already imagine what the answer might be. "Why, yes, of course, and they also hold wrestling tournaments in the style of the greco-romans. Also, have I mentioned that Gold Saints are pre-destined to become so and Aiolia was struck by a Thunderbolt of Zeus when he was a child? What? No, I don't remember who June is."

[handsomehomage]

I've been watching a lot of TV this month as I finish my work and am plagued with thoughts about the state of entertainment. I saw a good post about advancements in YouTube ads, but I can't find it, so I wanted to write out my own thoughts in case I need this later.

This is the only site I will ever fully trust, despite the recent events in censorship. I am grateful for the opportunity to see only what I requested to see - with the odd ad here and there - in the order and at the pace which the author intended for me to see it.

I recently upgraded my gaming and TV setup and have been disappointed by the ever-presence of ads in those products I already purchased. Custom backgrounds on PS consoles have been replaced with forced exposure to ads and an ugly grey backdrop. My TV opens to a slew of ads 'for you' rather than the channels I actually own and enjoy watching. Of course I could go offline on both these machines and lose access to the social features. These private spaces have been invaded by The Corporations. Yes I played Cyberpunk (the pen and paper RPG).

I have been on the internet long enough to have experienced Google search, YouTube and the birth of social media at its finest. When your online hobbies and interests were detached from your IRL persona. When only weirdos and artists had substantial online presence. I had a robust internet friendgroup via a UK site related to my MMO of choice. Some of us met IRL with the approval of our parents and continued to be friends through life's ups and downs.

We had internet safety courses at school. We understood how to organize our virtual workspaces, because that functionality was transparent to us and adults knew more about the devices than kids did. We were taught WikiPedia was unreliable because of its open-source nature, and now the tables have turned making it the only source for information unmotivated by profit. We knew to ask the 'who/what/when/where/why' questions about online resources. I followed all the drama this year about YT plagiarism and I honestly think it's simpler than people wanting to take advantage of their audience. I do not think new internet users can always discern the difference between information and entertainment. Are you making this video essay because you have something new to say about the topic? Or because you want to entertain your fans while you bond over a shared interest? There is room for both, but the lines between them are too blurry.

Now I work as a tech educator. Most kids don't understand where the information they see online is coming from. Ads are disguised as posts on your social media of choice. Search has been replaced with AI summaries that funnel information into a narrow perspective on the topic. They are integrated into your technology and need to be turned off with each update.

My time is precious. My attention and energy are important resources. I will not be swayed by something that overtly preys on my attention, time and energy. I will always respond to ads with resentment because I know how to discern them from actual online interactions. Some people don't know to do that. Of course AI content would flourish in a market where it is so easy to invade users' thoughts.

Let's all help each other out - Tumblr is a great space for the sharing of knowledge. I hope I can look at this post after the trend has changed and think more positive thoughts :D

Here's a pic of my cat watching me watch YT while typing this. Have a great summer!

[midwrites]

January 2024 Housekeeping

...or WIPs, how I'm doing and other things I keep neglecting to share on Tumblr.com

Once again Midna here with the compulsory beginning of the year post in which I try to cram everything I haven't been talking about around here on a single post for those who do not follow me on Twitter or the other Blue site:

Writing is going well, I am still stuck in the Arctic as you may have seen from my latest fics and all of my current WIPs are Terror related. I have finally been able to fall on a more constant rythm with my PHD along this course and recovered some of my writing motivation and speed that had been a bit gone since the passing of my cat last summer.

Currently I am editing the next chapter of damn your wife and my February planning includes trying to finish a secret project and the following installment of what makes a (good) man if I don't bounce back into trying the last chapter of damn your wife, that is.

Idk if I will be able to write anything for it but cowboy show fest has been plaguing my dreams and I'd encourage anyone who is into the Terror to check it out, because it's looking like it'll be an incredibly inspiring event

Anyways, I think that's all of it? My main focus for this year, creatively speaking, is to try and finish all the big projects I started last year and to start working on smaller ideas with different characters and fucking around a little more with style, but we shall see how that goes. On the meantime, I hope everyone around here has been doing alright, and as always, I'll try to be around more, even if it's just to clog your dashes with posts that inspire me!🧡

[bitchfitch]

I have been Questing for a specific plate set for about 3 years. tldr they were discontinued when the plague shut everything down. These purple ones:

(Gibson elite pueblo springs, purple plus the red ones to keep the post shorter)

it came in a few color ways but by Far the most popular were the red ones. and you can find the red ones on Every resell site. theyre Everywhere.

But. I've tricked you. Those red ones arnt the gibson elite pueblo springs in red.

Those are the Gibson Elite Feliz Mesa in multicolor. A New line. but they're using the same Amazon listing as the original plates bc Yes I have had that saved for 3 years. Which Makes Me Think. they're going to Eventually bring back the Mint, Blue and Maybe even, the Purple color ways.

which has me Very excited.

but if they dont, the cute and Unique designs of pre plague times are Finally starting to return.

So. if they don't bring back my beautiful gorgeous plates I want so desperately. I do have other Options now.

[fuck-your-proana-blog]

It's so tragic that once you've been exposed to pro ana material it never truly leaves you. I've had an ED for 12 years and after being exposed to pro ana content early on I still have that horrible voice in my head that tells me it's "being good" to not eat unknown calorie food, to restrict as much as possible, work out as much as possible and to avoid party/holiday food like the plague. That it's "staying strong" to avoid food that tastes delicious and makes me uncomfortable when exposure therapy to those foods and recovery should really be the real strength we all seek. Eating food that nourishes you and makes you happy is strength. Taking rest days from exercise when you don't feel well is strength. Having a piece of cake at a party and some appetizers is not a failure, that's also strength. But no, I sit there feeling "strong" giving into my anorexia and avoiding food when I want nothing more that to eat what I want when I want. So pro anas think they can just post "meanspo" and tell their followers that they'll get fat if they eat anything doesn't do any harm; that it's "just for them" is such bullshit. Pro ana garbage does so much harm to anyone who sees it and it's impossible to avoid with an ED on Tumblr because they use recovery tags and other tags that are meant for people in recovery or just actively trying to not get worse. It's disgusting behavior and it infuriates me that they think it's their "right" to post such harmful content publicly on a site that strictly forbids it. If you post pro ana material you are guilty of harming others. You are guilty of influencing people to starve, purge, and ultimately suffer from one of the most horrible illnesses in existence. So yeah, like my header picture says, you are a terrible human being and you should feel awful. 🖕

[melonmarzal]

Petall's Lore Directory

I do a lot of written lore, so I figured I should create a pinned post with descriptions of my various stories and where you can find them!

A bit about me, I joined Flight Rising in 2016. Since 2018, I have been consistently writing lore. I consider wind to be my home flight, but I have been travelling around to different flights telling stories in each one. Most of these are done in a PInkerlocke format. My goal is to have travelled to each flight once, after which I will return to wind for a story, then travel to wherever my heart desires.

So far, I have spent time in Wind, Shadow, Nature and Plague. I have also spent time in Arcane, but due to unforseen circumstances was unable to complete my story there, so I consider that one to be still incomplete. My tumblr avatar is always a festival familiar of the flight I am currently in.

I am in the process of writing out my lore for the two clans I had before I began my regular lore stories, so that I can have a complete collection of all of my lore on the site.

I am also in the process of transferring my lore to ao3. I still plan on continuing to post my lore to the flight rising forums, but I have decided to utilize ao3 so I can post the version of my story I imagined as I am writing it, with swearing and full gore, and other more mature themes.

Main Lore

This list is where you can find my main lore stories. They are listed in chronological order in terms of in-world timeline. They can be read in any order, as they are designed to stand on their own. However, they may contain some crossover characters and themes of earlier stories. Think of it like how Discworld is structured. As a result, some later stories may have spoilers for certain characters and plotlines of earlier ones. That said, you do not need to read the earlier ones to have an understanding of what is happening.

The Stories of Clan Yonder - 2024-Ongoing - Wind Flight - Two dragons awake on the Windswept Plateau, no memories of who they are and where they came from. All they know is that they love each other, and they are looking for a safe place to call home. As the pair build the small clan, they will be faced with old enemies and large losses, but will they persist? Or will Clan Yonder fade into obscurity? Only time will tell. [FR Forums] [Ao3]

The Stories of Crescendo Isle - TBD - Wind Flight - To be Written after I finish The Stories of Clan Yonder.

The Stories of Windkeep Tower* - 2018-2019 - Wind Flight - On the cliffs of the Windswept Plateau, overlooking the Sea of a Thousand Currents lies a tall pagoda tower. It keeps watch, over the wind and the waves, a great light burning at the top as a welcome and guide to weary travelers. [FR Forums] [Ao3]

All That Was Lost: A Pinkerlocke* - 2019-2020 - Shadow Flight - Generations have passed since the Clan of Resting Wings has fallen. All that remains is a kingdom of ruin, the spell that was meant to save everyone now festering into a curse. For years, the city has been left untouched, as those who dare venture in soon find themselves in grave danger. A new generation is rising to face the curse and reclaim the land of their ancestors. Can they rebuild from the ashes, or are they doomed to meet the same fate as their predecessors? [FR Forums]

Beneath the Boughs: A Pinkerlocke - 2021-2023 - Nature Flight - Near the edge of the Shrieking Wilds lies a large clearing, large enough to build a small city within. In the center of this clearing lies a large sycamore tree, roots gnarled and tangled with age and girth. Its branches stretch out towards the heavens, providing shade and shelter to all who desire it, and home to many wild creatures in its branches. It is home to a single dragon, a guardian who has taken the Refuge as her charge. But little does she know that she not live in solitude much longer, and the tree will become a sanctuary for far more than she could even imagine... [FR Forums]

Chasing Immortality: A Pinkerlocke - 2023-Ongoing - Plague Flight - A wildclaw named Shui has put out notices across Sornieth, promising immortality to those who come to him and join his challenges. The adventurous, the desperate, the dying all gather to participate. But can he really give what he promises? Or is he a fraud? His purposes are vague and the rewards are great, there is only one way to find out what is behind this man's call, and that is to come, join his clan, and face his challenges yourself. [FR Forums]

Bonus Stories

The following stories are things I have written that either are considered to be side stories, or were for whatever reason ended up incomplete. I am posting them here for posterity, but they are not considered to be part of my main lore series. I am still debating whether or not I plan on transferring these ones to Ao3.

Children of the Deep: A Pinkerlocke* - 2016- Wind Flight - INCOMPLETE - "Welcome, dear friends. How may I ask did you find my cavern? Not that any of that matters. You are here now. I suppose by now you've heard of my little project. Let me guess, you're here to plead on their behalf? You're here to demand answers?" The skydancer chuckles to himself. "I've heard them all. But really, who are you to say that I am wrong? Have you peered into the depths of the ocean? Have you spent hours studying the marvelous bubbles gifted to us by the Tidelord? Even if you have, you have not seen what I have. Such beautiful and terrible things. Even though I cannot always be beneath the waves, I have duties to my clan up above, I carry this sphere around in my pockets, so that I may always peer into the depths." [FR Forums]

The Paths We Wander: A Pinkerlocke* - 2017 - Wind Flight - A new clan sets out with the hopes of succeeding where the Children of the Deep have failed. [FR Forums]

Twisting Squalls: A Pinkerlocke* - 2017 - Wind Flight - IMCOMPLETE - There is an island on the edge of the Twisting Crescendo, harsh and unforgiving and perpetually battered with storms. Survival here is difficult, but there are a handful of dragons who seek to make it their home. [FR Forums]

Beyond the Shroud: A Pinkerlocke* - 2020 - Arcane Flight - INCOMPLETE - Welcome to Astra Academy! Nestled on the edge of the Starwood Strand, our school is the perfect place for any young dragon seeking to bring out their true magical potential! Here, you will learn from the best teachers, and befriend other students destined to become powerful mages. We only take the best, so I hope you're up to the challenge! [FR Forums]

Stories marked with a * are written before I discovered that I am queer, while I was still working out a lot of personal things. As a result, these stories do not contain queer characters. This may be changed for the Ao3 versions.

I will edit this post regularly to ensure that it is up to date!

[screamingeyepress]

Dark Thoughts By Mark Slade

A tormented man battles with the haunting thoughts that have plagued his mind for years. As he struggles to escape the relentless cycle of negative thoughts and desires, an eerie force takes hold, blurring the line between reality and nightmare.

Malum minuitur, cum praevidetur.

You lie awake thinking these thoughts.  You can’t sleep. You can’t shut your mind off. These thoughts, like other thoughts, keep coming back to you. 

The children played in the front lawn, chasing each other with Nerf water pistols, screaming, squealing, long streaks of white water emitting from the foam barrels. The honey brown haired woman in the straw hat, oversized sunglasses and flower patterned sundress, tended to her rose bush. A tall, very skinny man in khaki shorts and dirty white t-shirt, kept taking out cardboard boxes and haphazardly dropping them on a yellow streaked lawn.

Those thoughts keep intertwining, or trying to replace other thoughts. They will not leave you. No matter how hard you try to purge them from your tired brain.

Okay, you tell yourself. Think of this:

Pay the electric bill. Pay the internet. Pay the cable bill. Pay the debt creditors for the credit card you barely used. A hacker had too much fun with it, though no one could find evidence a hacker used the card, nor existed. Pay the alimony. Don’t be late again. Pay the child support. Don’t be late again. Pay the rent, even though roaches are your roommates and water damage is on the ceiling in the bathroom. Don’t be late again.

Work. Pressure from the job, or jobs as it may be. Worrying about who, what, and where. Will you be done by the time your shift is over with. Why are you working so much, why this job, or jobs. 

You think about that post on social media. Why on earth would someone post a video of a cat taking a dump in a candy jar full of snicker bars? Why would anyone make a video like that? Why would anyone comment on every post or like every post everyone has posted on that site?

Why does it rain on one side of the cornfield, switch sides, and the first side only has a rainbow? Why are people so mean to each other? Why are you so mean to people, especially to that old lady who always seems to be shopping at the store you shop at when you are there? Why are the same commercials about a hotel played three times in a row on every program you tube into? And why, on God’s green earth, does that one annoying song stick in your mind and you can barely remember the lyrics or middle part of your favorite song? 

Malum minuitur, cum praevidetur.

But I have to tell you something. All of that is just semantics. Twaddle. Doesn’t mean a fucking thing to me.  I get off on the bad thoughts you have. The worries tickle me and I giggle, yes. What really gets me excited are the thoughts of dread or harm you wish on others. The times you drive by  their houses, slow down, and watch as the wife works on her garden of roses, the husband cleaning out the garage, and boy and girl chasing each other with water guns 

You lay in your bed, wide eyed, dark circles under your eyes and contemplate how you would run your knife along the woman’s white swan-like neck, down to the curves of her breasts, the point sliding across her stomach, making a beeline for her………

Malum minuitur, cum praevidetur.

Ohhhh how wicked you are.

You drool over the possibilities. You lust after the image of the rooms covered in blood. You hear their screams and pleading, and you feel yourself get excited. Your heart skips a beat.

Ohhhhh yes you do.

Don’t lie.  

Anger toward your childhood, perhaps? Anger, you never experienced the true, or traditional family values? Instead you lived a transient and chaotic life with your mother and three brothers. You had a revolving door of stepfathers, abusive boyfriends, until your mother could no longer attract a man, good or bad men. She finally drank herself to death by the time you were eighteen. Oh, how you hated your mother, your abusive brothers.

You left home the day of the funeral, changed your name, and made your brothers bad memories. You became a mechanic, owned a garage for a few years, fell in love, and had two children. You were happy until your wife revealed she no longer wanted you and she had met someone else. You hate her. You hate your offspring, a girl and a boy. The three of them took and took,and continue to take, bleeding you of money, and love.

Yesterday you spoke on the phone call with your estranged wife. You keep playing it over and over in your head.

“The garage was sold to a group of investors from  out of state,” she said. ” They plan on turning it into a drugstore.”

“So,” you said. ” I don’t care.”

“I just thought you’d like to know,” she said.

“Turning the screws, eh?”

” No. I’m not…I’m trying to…..John said I should be more open to have you in our live—”

“John says,huh?”

“Yes,” she said with a deep sigh.

“I don’t care,” you said. 

“Okay,” she said,  “The kids miss you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Do you miss them?”

You don’t answer right away. You give a wooden performance when you do. A very hollow bland voice.

“I miss them. Yes  Do you miss me?”

“I have to go,” she said and rang off abruptly.

You still get angry at that. 

She isn’t perfect. That life was not—–

Put it out of your mind, you tell yourself. Think of…….

Perfect.

The Cartuck family……they are perfect in every way. 

Malum minuitur, cum praevidetur.

Perfection.

You sought it your entire life. Why were you denied? So many times it was just out of reach, right at the grasp of your fingers.

I personally do not care why you wish death upon this particular family. I just want what you can take from them. I get off on the vibrations your body puts out when you feel…..release.

“No!” You scream, arms flailing, hands slapping at the air. “Get off me!” 

You try your best to topple me from your chest. Your breathing becomes labored. You close your eyes, yet you can still see my beautiful, hideous visage that haunts you, keeps you from seeing beauty in others, beauty in everything.

My laugh is like metal scraping concrete. “You cannot vanquish me until you give me what I want. What I need.”

“Please,” you sob. “Get out of my head.”

“I am not just in your head, I am in your flesh,” I laugh. Metal scraping concrete.

You wail and thrash about in your bed. You hear a knock on your door. A voice asks if you are alright. The landlady who rents you this tiny, shabby room.

“I’m alright,” you call out. “Just a nightmare. That’s all.”

You can see her slippers under your door. She hasn’t moved away. Gone back to bed. It feels like centuries before she leaves. The light in the hallway abruptly turns to darkness. The glowing moonbeam returns to your otherwise dark bedroom, as I do, perched upon your chest.

“Okay,” you say. “I’ll bring you what you want. Then will you leave me alone?”

My blackened lips curl up in a ghastly smile.

“Most definitely,” I tell you. “Malum minuitur, cum praevidetur.”

You leave by way of your bedroom window. You basque in the bright moonlight. You walk the neighborhood in the wee hours of the morning, bare feet on concrete. You keep the .38 tucked into your pajamas. You walk a block to the end of the neighborhood and see the Cartuck house. You already know the lock on the basement door is broken. You slip into that perfect family’s home.

In less than an hour, the walls of that perfect house are covered in blood.

Their screams thrill you, fill you full of….delight.

You don’t leave the home. You stay. You cook yourself breakfast, make coffee. Enough for an army, or rather, a police force. They arrive hours later, and you offer them breakfast. Still covered in the Cartuck’s blood, you sit calmly at the dining room table, eating, drinking, smiling, thinking happy thoughts. The officers decline your offer.

You are happy. You have rid yourself of me, those dark thoughts. You are overjoyed. You see beauty in everything, even in your heinous act of murder.

You are happy.

You confess to everything. You tell your life story. You tell them about stalking the family. You tell them how you first shot the children in their sleep. How the parents came running and how they screamed and cried. You shot the husband point blank in the face. You tell the officers that you could not contain Your laughter when you see him fall sideways. You explain to them that you were not insane as the wife thought he was, that was involuntary laughter. That’s all.

You get a little excited when you tell them how you made her undress. And how you took the butcher knife you had taken from the kitchen and you ran the blade slowly down her perfect beautiful body……..

” Ah well,” you said, and signed. “You saw what I did to her. I…..kinda regret it…..but…..”

“Why did you do it?” You hear one of the officer’s say.

“I thought they were perfect. You see, I would have let them live. I swear to God I would have. I would have just occasionally drove by and watched…..them…..then I saw those marks on their faces. The kids had dark pigment marks on their foreheads. The husband….well… he had a burn mark on the left side of his face and……his nose was all….twisted……nostrils fucked up. 

“The wife, oh she was beautiful…. very beautiful, until one evening, a wind blew her dress up over her hips and I saw the dark brown burn patterns on her legs.  I felt sick. I vomited immediately.” You shake your head.” That’s when this thing, this…..I don’t know what it was…..this creature began to talk to me. But I’m free!”

They glare at you as you howl with laughter.

You tell them about the dark thoughts and how they had driven you to do this,  because you could never, ever, achieve perfection anywhere in your dreary awful life. 

Now that it’s all over with, you’ve done the deed, the dark thoughts are gone, and I am vanquished.I no longer walk the shadows of your dreams, your nightmares.

The officers cuff you, and one of them places you in the backseat of the cruiser. Your wife wakes you. You stare at her blinking rapidly. She says, “You were having an awful dream.” 

You don’t know what to say except, ” Oh, yeah, the worst.”

She removed her nightgown, and upon her naked body you see  the dark brown burn patterns on her legs.  You strangle a cry of fear as you quickly rise from the bed and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You see burn mark on the left side of your face and that  twisted twisted nose and fucked up nostrils.Your wife smiles at you, says, “Malum minuitur, cum praevidetur.”