#for what it's worth none of what i've said is out of the ordinary theologically for Anglicans

[emjee]

On religion, how do you see Mary?

I mean this because I saw your Advent post and the answer about the pink candle, that has a different meaning to Catholic people, as far as I know.

So funny story about the rose candle, when I was growing up I was indeed taught that the third Sunday of Advent is dedicated particularly to Mary (in the Revised Common Lectionary, which American Episcopalians use, the Marian reading sometimes comes on Advent III and sometimes Advent IV; I guess pre-RCL it was always Advent III). However, when I brought this up at my Catholic elementary school my teacher informed me that Rose Sunday/Gaudete Sunday/Advent III was only rose as a “yay we’re more than halfway there” kind of thing, which I found hilarious because I’d never seen Roman Catholics pass on a chance to celebrate Mary before.

As for Mary, personally I am a huge fan! It took me a while to come to a sort of understanding with her because of the narrative I got in Catholic school, where she was a literally unattainable paragon of (suspiciously blonde) womanhood--not only was she both a mother and a virgin, under the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception she was also completely sinless. (I do not hold with that doctrine, neither do I hold with the idea of her perpetual virginity.) So for a long time I was kind of convinced that we didn’t have much in common, and as far as women in the Gospels went I paid more attention to Mary and Martha of Bethany and Mary Magdalene.

And then--this must have been in early high school--I went to Bible study at church, which I usually couldn’t go to because it’s before the service and more often then not I had to acolyte and was busy during that block of time. Bible study then was led by our associate priest, who to this day is one of my favorite members of the clergy, and it was the Feast of the Annunciation, so that was the reading we focused on. And for some reason, despite having heard that lesson at least once a year every year of my life, that was the Sunday it clicked. This was a young woman being asked permission by an angel on behalf of God. She herself did not ask permission of anyone else before giving her answer. She asked the angel questions, and the angel answered those questions. Sure didn’t sound like meek and mild to me. She sounded like someone I wanted to know, someone I wanted to be friends with. Moving beyond the Annunciation to the Visitation, she gives us this beautiful hymn wherein she talks about casting the mighty down from their high places and lifting up the downtrodden and giving them enough to eat. When I started providing childcare for the eighteen-month-old of some church friends, I thought about how Jesus used to be toddler-sized and how Mary bounced him on her hip just like I did with this little boy.

So, yeah, I love her, she’s Theotokos, the Mother of God. I try to remember to say the Angelus every day (I am very bad at remembering to say the Angelus every day) and I’ll say a string of Hail Marys whenever I’m feeling particularly anxious (interestingly enough I prefer to say them in French, still not entirely sure why). But mostly I think of her as a brave woman who asked questions, who was a member of a marginalized community living under imperial occupation, who saw her eldest child die horrifically at the hands of that imperial power. She had the companionship of a righteous man. She had friends. She was a whole beautiful complex person, and I think a lot about what the Gospels never tell us. I love her.