#for trying so desperately to analyze & find hidden meaning

[metranart]

My one and only wants you, so he’ll have you (Part 4)

ft. Sensei! Gojo Satoru, sensei! Suguru Geto, reader insert.

Gojo Satoru and Suguru Geto happily married, you, their lovely student and the cause of their ragging temptation. The problem: their son, Megumi, your best friend.

- 𖦹 Warning tags: Gojo x Reader x Geto, threesome, married couple, Suguru and Gojo happy married couple, polyamory, Teacher-Student Relationship, Under-Desk Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, oral sex, vaginal sex, breeding, obsessive behavior, horny sorcerers, idiots in love, being the willing pet of your senseis, best friend! Megumi, Jealous! Megumi, anal plug, Secret Relationship, Domestic Fluff, falling in love, Pregnancy Kink, Hurt/Comfort, smut, rough sex, shameless smut, creampie, explicit sexual consent, sexual tension, shameless flirting, scratching. -

"Did he finally declare his feelings to you?"

You were surprised when the words left his mouth. Your mind unable to processing what you had just heard.

"D-Did you know?"

Geto stared at you without a single doubt in him before nodding his head. You gaped at the blunt honesty of such a vile secret. He knew…those that mean that—

“Gojo also knew?” 

The suffix that you use so endearingly to wrap their names was missing and Suguru feared for the resentful feeling that may be harvesting inside your young, vulnerable chest at the face of this hidden truth. His easy affirmative left you equally speechless even when you knew it was coming. “You knew.” You repeated in a dense, broken mutter. 

“You need to try to understand the reason for some of our actions—"

“May I be of help, Suguru-san?" 

Megumi entered the kitchen and the two of you separated so quickly that no one would have ever suspected that you were about to cum on his fingers less than five minutes ago. 

“We're almost done, thank you very much, Megumi-kun.” Suguru said candidly to his beloved adopted son and glanced at you with the same candid smile. “(Y/N), helped me a lot—”

“—I feel so silly..." 

Geto's heart raced but nothing shown in his features, remaining sweet and calm. Although inside felt desperate to explain to you what you were undoubtedly misinterpreting and giving more importance than it had.

"Silly?" Megumi repeated blankly, his eyebrows furrowing delicately.

You shook your head, your gaze glued to your feet and pouting lamely you showed him your hand. "I cut myself with the knife," you lied skillfully, and out of the corner of your eye you saw how your sensei's broad shoulders relaxed noticeably, ".... I’m so clumsy, how did I not realize it before?"

Megumi took your hand in his and began to analyze it with clinical attention, "I can't find the wound."

"I think it's very superficial, some wouldn't give it much importance..." Geto knew that those words were directed at him, with exclusive malice and devastating intention of sticking the splinter into his already lacerated conscience, "… but it still hurts." 

Your pretty lips pursed in an attempt to stop the outburst of so many mixed feelings. Have you been just a casual adventure for the marriage? A bet to see who would conquer the foolish girl first, his son or them? A sick game for the married couple to bring some spark to their boring lives? To measure who was the bigger alpha among them? Who fucks you first—

You bit down a hiccup and Suguru felt his heart shatter as if it were made of glass and someone brutally throw it against the cold, unforgiving floor. Please little one, don't overthink... wait until we explain to you, it's not what you think... thought the sorcerer who reduced to observing with a heavy heart. 

“—Tell me where it hurts, (Y/N)," Megumi became alert at the prospect that you could be suffering, "...easy there, everything is fine." 

The young adult tried to console you, frustrated at not being able to find the wound -since it didn't lie on your skin- Megumi ran his fingers gently over your palm but nothing, you still looked miserable. His heart sank at the feeling of uselessness, and soon realized that if he wanted to show you that he could take care of you and protect you like a boyfriend would, he had to prove it first.

So, gathering all his courage, he yanked your hand closer and sweetly shy, muttered. "I'll make it better, love. Please don’t cry."

Suguru's eyes opened wide like full moons as he watched his son's lips pepper every inch of soft skin they could find, every finger and cuticle, the skin of your palm, the back of your hand, even your wrist, he varnished of sweet, caring kisses. He'll be so proud if weren't so nastily jealous.

The tear that had escaped your eye, rolled alone down your burning cheeks and the young adult, on a mission, leant closer to wipe it away with his useful and gentle lips. He was finally being useful to you. Once pleased with his quest, those beautiful blue eyes rested somewhat shyly on yours and he felt very proud that he no longer saw glimpses of pain.

A bright smile curved his lips rather handsomely and the blush kidnapping your face was way too brash to call yourself just his best friend. 

“T-Thank you, Megumi.” The stammer won’t leave your voice.

“I promised you that I'll try hard.” He reminded you with a shy, yet sassy grin. And your unexpected bonding moment suddenly burst like a soap bubble.

“Dinner’s ready, hun?” Gojo’s sudden question startled everyone. The white-haired sorcerer attitude felt almost abrasive. 

Neither Suguru, nor you, nor Megumi had noticed his presence and everything he witnessed, from kisses to the confession of a love conquest.... all of this, while he leant his weight on the door frame, one foot in front of the other casually, arms crossed tightly across his broad chest, drinking the scene ... it felt like putrid venom must feel going down his throat.

Suguru couldn't find his voice to answer, and Megumi took the opportunity to pull you by the hand and take you with him, spatting a placid. "We'll be in my room, let us know when dinner is ready."

They both climbed the stairs of the house, hand in hand, followed too closely by two pairs of attentive eyes, one exuding furious frustration and the other indecisive guilt. Once they heard the door shut close and were sure, were out of earshot….

“Thank God! you were here to see our son's smooch session and his crude, love confessions to our lover, Suguru—”

“Put a cork on it, Toru.” Geto hiss like a dangerous snake, leaning burdensomely on the kitchen counter. “I’m not sure, but I think I screwed up.”

-

Dinner was uneventful, if that could be said in such a tangled situation.

Neutral topics of conversation were touched and in most of them you kept quiet or short phrased, everyone walking on thin ice, except Megumi who stepped hard and without restrictions making his raw intentions towards you noticeable, an attitude not common in Megumi who was known for being taciturn, composed and shy.

This change in attitude was sudden but expected, causing both parents to stay on red alert since it seemed that his son was marking his territory, and someone only marks his territory when feels threatened... Did Megumi know something? Did he suspect? Had they been so careless? Had you said something while you were alone in his room to get back at them? —

“I had forgotten to tell you," Megumi began to say as he helped you pick up the plates from the table, "Director Yaga assigned us a special mission," both professors listened attentively, "so (Y/N) is going to sleep here so we don't waste time meeting tomorrow."

"A sleepover?" Gojo spit out.

"I didn't see you bring a suitcase with you, (Y/N). Do you need to borrow some clothes?" Suguru offered quickly, eager to squeeze any comment out of you.

"You would look adorable in one of my t-shirts." Gojo teased, hoping to tear a giggle out of you to zero response. Both ending up frowning, Megumi watching them expressionless, those blue eyes analyzing closely.

"She's using the cursed hidden pocket technique," Megumi suddenly explained, ignoring Gojo's comment, "she already has everything she needs." You smiled thinly at Megumi who retuned you a swift wink, "...I was just letting you know, without a doubt, tomorrow Nanami will explain the mission in detail."

“Maybe you can take five minutes to explain to us right now, Megumi." Geto insisted, playing the worried father.

Megumi pursed his lips and giving you an odd look, started to head to his room, halting to say from the stairs. "I'm going to give you the briefing, there you can find everything, I'm going upstairs to get it."

There was a brief silence before Megumi disappeared upstairs and you continued clearing the table as if nothing happened.

"Sooooooo, you're not going to talk to us anymore?" Gojo was the one who started the duel, not wanting to waste even a precious second of his overprotective adopted son's absence.

You remained quiet but attentive. Paying only the necessary attention to Gojo's movements, who got up from his chair and now surrounded you like a bee around a flower.

"Look at her Suguru,” he grabbed a lock of your hair to play, yet you swatted his hand away in all icy calm. The tall prodigy bite down a growl, “She's not talking to us while this morning couldn’t stop moaning our names, what is that called, baby?" Gojo asked his husband who shook his head disapprovingly from his sitting position, and without really waiting for the answer, added "double standard, that's what it's called." He pointed out and your frown gave him enough satisfaction to continue the one-sided conversation. 

“By the way, how do you feel, (Y/N)?” Gojo asked suddenly in that same poisonous vibe, and an eyebrow rose on your forehead, this time you even looked at him gifting him your undivided attention, since he was awfully close to comfort. “-Is your pussy still sore from me stretching it so good this morning?”

Suguru almost choked on his gulp of water, and Satoru grin wickedly at how embarrassed you looked, taking it as far as to peck the tip of your nose, taking advantage of your astonishment to then borrow a hand to leisurely pat the back of his husband gently as he coughed. 

"Be careful, Sugu, don't choke," chuckled out the prodigy of the Gojo Clan. "I know! (Y/N) teach him the technique you use to swallow our cocks without activating the gag reflex," your cheeks painted in such an intense crimson that for a moment you thought your nose was going to bleed. Your fists tightening harder with each crude comment, “oh, you…. my little, self-righteous, sword swallower."

“Satoru.” Suguru chided his husband, pulling him from the shirt to have him sitting by his side.

“I'm genuinely worried, Sugu,” the special grade sorcerer exclaimed letting his body drop into a comfy position on the couch, “I know we’ve trained her well but if she's going to receive Megumi tonight, she ought to be careful… that boy is awfully thick—” 

“You are being childish, Satoru Gojo!” You raised your voice and quickly lower it down, emphasizing his name as if the mere mention of him was an insult.

“Am I being childish?" The prodigy spat, pointing an index finger at himself. "To be childish is to get angry without even having the complete information," Satoru exclaimed, and you turned your back to them, you didn’t want to hear him, but he wasn’t having it either. 

What was your surprise when your storm out was cancel and you were lifted from the ground by two strong arms that wrapped around your waist. "Let go-..." you growled in annoyance and Satoru ignored you, almost dragging you to the couch like a spoiled child being unreasonable and shamelessly throwing you into the arms of his beloved husband, who gladly received you on his lap.

“Spoiled brat,” grunted the white haired holding your legs for you to stop kicking, “you got her babe?” 

“She’s not going anywhere,” Suguru affirmed. 

His strong arms wrapping around your ribs like a seat belt. With this confirmation, Satoru felt more comfortable kneeling in front of you and throwing your knees over his shoulders, holding your thighs spread with his strong hands to prevent you shutting your legs around his head.

"Listen, pup.” His voice sounded like a trusty adult again, no mock or sarcasm, and the mere tone made you steady, after all, he was a figure of authority to you, “...we didn't chase you because we knew our Megumi liked you." 

Satoru revealed in all seriousness, a little outraged at the simple fact that this could be going through your mind, "...we genuinely like you and you genuinely like us," you felt Suguru deposit a kiss in your neck as a support of that statement and with a loving grin on his face, Satoru began to trail a sinful path of kisses up the inner skin of your thigh, "none of this was planned, it was organic….” 

You frowned, closing your eyes stubbornly, refusing to believe them. “And if I remember correctly, you were the one who offered to suck me off first-" 

"Because I didn't know you'd use me to ignite your boring marriage!" you blasted, glaring at his handsome, shocked face.

"Boring marriage?" You heard Suguru chuckle amused next to your ear. 

Satoru laughed heartily and his man joined him, neither one in the least offended. "Do we seriously strike you as a boring marriage, (Y/N)?"

You pouted your lips like a like a scolded girl. You didn't really believe that, but you were too stubborn to accept it.

With a sensual smile back on his face, your sensei kept crawling up your thigh, rolling your skirt up to glimpse at your white panties, licking his lips at finding a patch of moisture greeting him. “Poor pup, you must be so uncomfortable, lemme be the gracious host and help-”

“Megumi might come down...-”

"-Then I’ll be quick...." his mouth curled into a shrewd grin.

COMING SOON PART 5....

⭕️ Find in my PATREON NSFW art from this chapter and more NSFW art of the story and lots of content from JJK, exclusive smut fanfiction and more interesting stuff. ;)

[morganski-19]

With A Comma After Dearest Part 6

part 1, part 5

Robin opens her locker, hopeful for another note. But when the door swings open without the little flutter of paper falling down with it, her heart drops. It’s not that the notes have stopped, they’ve just slowed down significantly. Before, there would be a total of four notes exchanged a day, two from Nancy and two from Robin. But now, she’s lucky if even one note gets slid into her locker a day. 

It's worse because she doesn’t know what she did. Of course, she knows that on her side, this communication with Nancy will be excruciating because of the hopeless crush, but Nancy gave no signs that there was something wrong. She was the one who initiated the weird bits, she was the one who started the compliments. Robin just went with the flow and took what was given. There was nothing more for her to do. 

A part of her feels guilty. Like Nancy somehow figured out that feelings grew. Unwanted feelings. Robin didn’t want to make things complicated. She just wanted a friend, someone to talk to. Someone else to help with the sleepless nights and darkest horrors. Companionship, family, love. That is all Robin wanted, and it seems like she’s ruined it all again. 

It’s foolish to keep hoping for something that will never come. But she can’t help it. She’s checked her locker more frequently, being late to class sometimes just to get there. Each time the small shred of hope told her that this time the note would show. This time things will go back to normal. But it doesn’t. 

The stack of notes on her bedstand was growing less and less. She would read them at night, analyzing Nancy’s words and trying to see why the notes stopped coming. The last note was from a few days ago, and it just felt like filler. Like Nancy just wanted to let Robin know that she was still there, but that this had no substance to it. 

She should be grateful that Nancy hasn’t ghosted her completely. But it hurts. It hurts more because there’s no explanation. It hurts because Robin’s feeling rejected without even saying how she feels. A friendship rejection. It hurts more to think about it that way. 

All Robin wants is to be Nancy’s friend. That’s the role she’s subjected herself to. As much as she wants there to be something more, it has been accepted that it will never be. She’s accepted her fate. She’s accepted the pain and the hurt that will follow. Nancy won’t be an easy one to get over, she knows that. But she’ll get through it if it means that Nancy will be her friend. 

She just hopes that after this week that will still be a thing she can say. 

. . . 

Nancy feels horrible. She didn’t mean to avoid Robin, she didn’t mean to stop writing the notes. It was just so easy to do. There’s an unsent note sitting in her backpack now that she can’t seem to find the courage to give to Robin. Words she could barely understand herself but wanted to talk to someone about. 

The problem was that the one person she wanted to talk to was Robin and that is the one person she can’t talk to this about. There are feelings, whatever those feelings are, and she wants to find out what they mean. But every time she looks at Robin’s face, there is an indescribable panic that fills her body that stops it. 

She’s reread the note dozens of times now. Fiddling with the words and editing it to make her true intentions hidden. Because she can barely admit to herself that there might be something more there, let alone another person. It’s not there though, it can’t be. There had to be another explanation. 

But of course, she can’t figure that out by herself and desperately needs to talk about it with someone but doesn’t have anyone to turn to. Except for Robin. Maybe she just needs to bite the bullet and tell her, maybe once it’s out there she’ll realize just how ridiculous it sounds. Nancy Wheeler, having a crush on a girl. Unheard of. Unbelievable. Unaccepted. 

That’s what clogs her throat up each time she starts to think about it. She’d be unaccepted. By society, by her parents, by her friends. Maybe by Robin. This type of feeling isn’t allowed. It isn’t her. Which is why she’s so sure that it can’t be that. 

So why can’t she look at Robin for more than four seconds before her heart starts beating faster? Why does the mere thought of her voice send shivers down Nancy’s spine? Something as simple as a smile makes her flush or her breath caught in her throat. 

It’s unexplainable. Unreal. Wrong. This feeling was wrong. But Nancy can’t seem to stop wanting it.

She thought that giving it some space would solve all of her problems. That she was just vulnerable after her breakup and looking for any sort of attention that would fill that void in her heart. It hurts to reduce these feelings to that, but it has to be true. Even though she knows that it’s not. The chapter with Jonathan was over, close, finished. There is a finality to it that is clear in her mind. True feelings for someone else could start to form. If she wanted them to that is. Just with the right person, not her only best friend in years that wasn’t her boyfriend. 

. . . 

When it gets to lunch, Robin has enough. It’s her own fault for letting it go this long, but she just has to do something. She’s not about to go up and ask Nancy directly what’s going on. Well, not in person that is.

Who says that she can’t initiate writing a letter? It isn’t like she hasn’t before. Changed the topic to something new or was the first one to send one in the morning. And so what if Nancy hasn’t responded to her last one? She can write a new one and just hope that Nancy responds to this one. 

She just hopes that it doesn’t come across as mean, she doesn’t really mean it to be. Or maybe she does. A little bit pissed, sure, but angry no. Worried, mainly. That’s what the letter needs to say. 

. . . 

Dear Nancy,

Are you ok? Like seriously. I haven’t heard from you much this week at all, not just in letters but in person too. I’m worried about you I guess. It seemed like we were getting really close and now you're just ignoring me. Or maybe you’re not ignoring me and I’m just blowing this all out of proportion. 

You didn’t call me last week after you said that you would and you’ve barely sent me any letters. And even then it was kinda just filler. Not to say that you can’t tell me the boring stuff in your life or anything. It just seemed like we were getting to a place where we could tell each other everything and we were pretty much. I don’t know, the switch kinda scared me. 

Can you just tell me if I did anything? I truly didn’t mean it if I did, promise. And if there’s something going on, know that I’m still here for you if you need it. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to push me out. I miss you. 

Your best friend and I mean that,

Robin

(P.S. Please just answer me. I’m really worried about you.)

Robin’s feelings are justified, Nancy knows that. If anything, she’s happy that Robin isn’t fully angry at her, she sure would be. Well, she is mad at herself. These feelings that she’s having, they’re not normal. Not her.

But she can’t keep icing out Robin because his heart started betraying her. So she has to do something. Anything just to act normal. Nancy doesn’t want Robin to blame herself for this. It isn’t her fault that Nancy finds her captivating.

It isn’t Robin’s fault that Nancy’s head isn’t screwed on right, so she’ll stop avoiding Robin. Even if she knows that it won’t help her solve anything about what she’s feeling. 

. . . 

My Best Friend Robin,

I’m sorry. You’re right, I’ve kind of stepped back. There’s just been a lot going on in my head recently so I couldn’t really think of putting it all in notes. I’m sorry that they kind of felt like nothing. I wasn’t exactly thinking they were anything special either, I just wanted you to know I wasn’t abandoning you. 

But I miss you too and I want to see you. Not just in school, but longer. Are you doing anything on Friday? You could come over and we could have a movie night or something. You could even stay the night if you wanted to. Just a thought, no pressure though. 

Your apologetic friend,

Nancy

Robin feels like shit. Here she’s been thinking Nancy was avoiding her and she was just going through something. Now she just feels bad for making Nancy think that she couldn’t talk to Robin about it. Because that had to be why Nancy was avoiding her, right?

They’ve talked about deep stuff before, so it kind of hurts that she felt like she couldn’t talk about it with Robin. But there are also some things that you just need to go through alone. Maybe it’s that. Or maybe she just wanted to talk about it in person but didn’t know how. Maybe it’s the nightmares. 

But a sleepover. That’s a big step for them. At least that’s what she thinks. She’s been to a few sleepovers before, big group ones with her old soccer team, obviously the ones with Steve, and even one with both him and Eddie after the whole spring break debacle. But with Nancy, it seems big. Like she’s broken through some wall and being let into the secret meadow behind. A 

meadow of friendship, best friendship. 

Nancy doesn’t talk about Barb a lot, but Robin knows that it is serious for her. She knows that the hurt is still there and that Nancy has closed herself up a lot more over the past years. It’s not exactly a secret that Nancy goes through school just talking to classmates but never really having friends. There was always Jonathan, Steve at times, but that’s all over now. So now there’s only Robin. 

She thinks about it for the rest of the day, debating whether it’s a good idea to go. She almost walks into a group of girls on her way out of school because she’s not paying attention enough. 

“Eddie’s in the back again,” Steve says when Robin gets in the car. 

“Fuck you, Harrington,” he pipes from the backseat, shoving his hand in between the seats to flip him off. 

Steve rolls his eyes and starts to pull out of the school, glancing at Robin staring at the letter. “What’s up?”

“Nancy invited me over for a sleepover. Or a possible sleepover that is. Just like a movie night that could turn into a sleepover.”

“And that’s a problem, why?” Eddie asks from the backseat, pulling himself back into sight. “I thought you guys were getting close.”

Robin sighs, debating whether or not to tell him. “I like her.”

Eddie’s eyes widen for a second before his face calms. “Oh, that sucks. Sorry, Buck.”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Do you want to go,” Steve asks. “I can always come to bail you out if it gets too much.”

Robin looks down at the notes again, feeling the familiar warmth the curves of Nancy’s handwriting gives her. “I want to. I’m just scared that I’ll end up doing something that will make her know. I really care about her, not just romantically but also as a friend. I haven’t had a friend that was a girl in so long and I don’t want to lose that. Not that being friends with you guys is bad, I love you two. But it’s just different when a girl. They get certain bits more and it’s just. Our friendship is really special and natural and normal. I just want something fucking normal for once without my big dumb feelings getting in the way.”

 “Well, you’re feelings aren’t dumb, for one,” Eddie contradicts from the back seat. “It could be a lot worse. Nancy clearly likes you, as a friend, maybe more. I’m not one to speculate, I don’t know her that well. But coming from someone who’s had a lot of stupid crushes on guys who could care less that they existed, she at least cares about you. That’s something if, and a large if, a rejection is in your future.”

The comment about guys doesn’t slip by unnoticed. Robin kinda guessed that Eddie was gay, but Steve certainly didn’t. His eyes widen when he says it as he clears his throat. A visible shift of gears going on in his head. 

“Two,” he continues, “I don’t think you’re going to mess it up. Unless Nancy has some super great detector that will alert her when you do something gay, you’ll be fine. If you want to go, go. If you don’t, don’t.”

Steve pulls up to the curve and puts the car in park. “I agree.”

When Robin goes to unclick her seatbelt, Steve does the same, following her out of the car. “What are you doing? You never walk me to the door.”

“Well, I am today.” They walk in silence to her door before Steve hugs her. 

“What’s this for?”

Steve shrugs. “I’m proud of you. You told another person.”

Robin smiles to herself. “I kinda did, didn’t I? And he kind of told us, didn’t he?”

“I think he did,” Steve said with a hopeful look on his face. “So you think he-”

“Yes, absolutely. Called it from a mile away. You don’t have to do anything obviously, but I really think that you have a chance.”

Steve glances back at the car, Eddie now in the front seat fiddling with something in the car. “I really want there to be.”

Robin’s face softens. “I think there is.” Steve gives her another hug before pressing an exaggerated kiss on her cheek. She wipes it off dramatically while gagging. “Eugh, gross, Steve. That was gross.”

“You loved it, admit it,” he calls out while walking away. 

“I did not,” she yells back before waving goodbye and entering her house. She’s going to hate it, but she’d be damned if she didn’t go to that sleepover. 

. . . 

The lovely Nancy,

I do happen to be free Friday and would absolutely love to come and hang out. And I would be totally cool staying the night if you’re parents are fine with it. It will be nice seeing you outside of school for once. I know that you’ve been busy but it kinda sucked that we haven’t hung out yet. But I guess we’re fixing that soon, so yay. 

I have work until six but I can have Steve drop me off after that if that’s ok with you.

Looking forward to seeing you,

Robin

(P.S. I promise not to root through your stuff this time)

Somewhere in Nancy was really hoping that Robin wasn’t going to be busy. But that same part of her has been acting up so she’s decided to ignore it. Robin was her friend and she can’t keep pretending that she doesn’t exist. So she extended an invitation and will keep it. Even if she’s afraid of what might happen. 

. . . 

“I’m serious, one phone call, and I’ll come pick you up,” Steve insists while pulling up in front of the Wheelers. 

“Remind me again where you’re going tonight?”

He sighs. “Over to Eddie’s”

“So you can confess you’re big fat gay crush on him.”

“It might not happen, probably won’t so you can still call me if you need to.

“I’m not going to bother you, dingus. And I’ll be fine. I’ve been in worse situations, how bad can this actually be?”

She waves at him while he drives away, ringing the doorbell. Mrs. Wheeler opens the door, smiling brightly at her. “Robin, nice to see you again, come on in. It’s been so nice hearing that you and Nancy have become friends. She’s been talking about you a lot.” 

“She has?” Robin asks, surprised. 

“It’s nice hearing another name than a boy, let me tell you. Nancy,” she yells up the stairs. “Robin’s here.”

The door to Nancy’s room creaks open and she comes down the stairs, giving Robin a big smile. “Hey.”

“I’ll leave you two alone, let me know if you need anything.” Mrs. Wheeler leaves them and walks into the kitchen. 

“So, what do you want to do? I know I said we could have a movie night but there’s no way that my Dad will stop using the living room TV and Mike is hogging the basement. I’d normally be fine kicking him out but he’s had a hard time with the Byers moving back so I kinda just want to give him some space,” Nancy wrings her hands awkwardly. 

Robin shrugs. “I mean I’m down to do anything really. We can just hang out in your room, that’s ok.”

“Ok. Did you eat yet, we can bring some food up.”

“That would be nice.”

Nancy goes to grab two plates of pizza from the kitchen before leading Robin upstairs to her room. It’s pretty much the same as it was before. Pink striped wallpaper, a neatly made bed. Even the messiest parts of her room seem neat, clutter and all. 

“So, how was work,” she asks as they sit on her floor. 

Robin goes on a long rant about the stupid questions that people ask about movies. Especially on Fridays. She’s lucky that she doesn’t work the later hours that much just because the crowds seem to get weirder and weirder as the day goes on. But even the after-school crowd is worse. Tons of guys come in with their dates and try to pick a movie that will impress them, the options even make Steve cringe sometimes. There’s always a group of thirteen-year-olds trying to rent an R-rated movie and an elderly couple that comes in and scowls at all of the more lewd options in their opinion. 

“Oh my god, and then this mom hit on Steve. In front of her kid. I’ve never seen him be more disgusted to be hit on in his entire life. Well, that’s not true, there were plenty of times at Scoops where he would get unwanted comments.” 

“It was the outfits, wasn’t it?” Nancy asks after the last bite of her pizza. 

Robin groans at the memory. “Yes. I hated, hated those stupid costumes. They were so dumb and so many guys would hit on me, it was the worst.”

“I bet Steve liked the attention,” Nancy giggled. 

“That was the best part.” Robin leaned closer to Nancy. “He was constantly striking out. Not a single girl bought it. 

“I find that hard to believe.”

Robin snorts. “It’s true, I kept a tally board and everything. He blamed it on the hat crushing his hair or whatever. I really think it was the fact that he hated the job and it showed, that and he just graduated so it was a big shift for him.”

Nancy puts her plate down next to her and presses her lips together. “Can I ask you a question? I promise I don’t mean anything by it I’m just genuinely curious.”

“Yeah, sure.” 

“Did you guys really never have feelings for each other? Like I know you can be friends without them, you just hang out like a lot so I’m just wondering if it was ever a thing that you just moved past without doing anything about it.”

She leans against the bed, debating how much she should tell her. She knows she’s not ready to tell her her sexuality yet, but the story can be told without it. “You know, sort of.”

“What,” Nancy widens her eyes in anticipation. 

“Never me. But after we had thrown up all of the weird Russian drugs in the bathroom, Steve admitted that he had a crush on me.”

“Really.” Her mouth opens in surprise as she leans forward, getting into Robin’s space. 

She can’t help but feel her heart beating faster, willing herself to ignore it. 

Robin nods with a smirk. “Yeah, felt bad I had to turn him down. But then I gained a best friend, and he did too. An actual best friend not whatever shit was going on with Tommy, wow that guy is a dick. But yeah, we’ve kind of been inseparable since. I say it’s the trauma but that’s only really part of it. I genuinely like him, which is weird but not at the same time.”

“That’s kinda crazy. And you never had feelings for him.”

“No,” Robin says with a laugh to herself. “He’s not exactly my type.”

Nancy leans her head against the bed, her blue eyes staring deep into Robin’s soul. “What is your type then?”

“I don’t really know if I have, like, a set type of person that I’m into. We need to have things in common and get along. I like people who are smart, someone I can talk to about certain things. Doesn’t even have to be academically, just smart in something you know. Like a passion. I’d like them to be funny, compassionate, normal about my incessant rambling.” Everything that you are, she thinks. “Yeah, that’s kinda lame but it’s true.”

“It’s not lame. It’s sweet really. You care about who the person is, not about what they look like.”

“I mean the looks don’t hurt, just aren’t as important.” 

Nancy laughs again and warmth shoots through Robin. She’d be surprised if she wasn’t blushing right now. 

“Were you, like.” Nancy looks down at her hands, picking off some of the old polish. “Did you say that you were drugged, by the Russians?”

“Yeah, we were. Part of the torture. ‘Truth serum’,” she says with finger quotes, “pretty much.”

“I’m,” Nancy’s eyes meet hers again, sadness filling them. “I’m so sorry you went through that. I didn’t know.”

Robin scrunches her brow. “Yeah, we kinda agreed to not share it with everybody. The only other people that know are Dustin and Erica, and they don’t even know everything that happened. I mean, you saw how beat up Steve was after that, but we really didn’t want everyone to know how bad it got. It was, it was really scary. Like, the most scared I’ve ever been in my life. Monsters are scary, sure. But people, doing that to other people. That’s the scariest part.”

“I can’t imagine doing that to another person.”

“I know,” Robin can feel tears start to well up in her eyes. “And I didn’t even get the worst of it, Steve did. As soon as they got us, he protected me. They took him into another room but I could still hear him from down the hall. And then they brought him back into the room unconscious, if I couldn’t have reached him feel a pulse, I probably would have thought he was dead.”

“That’s horrible. I’m sorry for bringing it up.”

“It’s ok,” she says with a shake of her head, trying to get the tears to back away. “I wanted to tell you.”

Before Robin knows it’s happening, Nancy wraps her arms around her neck and pulls her into a hug. It’s warm and inviting, making Robin’s breath hitch. She tentatively wraps her arms around Nancy’s middle, clutching her close. The smell of her perfume fills Robin’s nose, making her dizzy. Her hair is tickling Robin’s neck, but she doesn’t care. Instead, she lets herself fall into the warmth, believing it might be the only time she can. 

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” Nancy whispers, each word sending a shiver down Robin’s spine. It really shouldn’t considering what it’s about, but she can’t help it. 

When Nancy pulls away, she smiles at Robin, big and soft. It’s the prettiest smile that Robin’s ever seen. She wants so badly to lean forward and press their lips together, swallowing the smile and feeling the warmth all over again. But she can’t, so she’ll let the smile linger, letting her heart keep beating instead of trying to shut it up. 

. . . 

Nancy can’t stop picking at her nail polish. To be fair, it’s old and was already chipping, it should have been taken off days ago. But picking at it kept her from biting her nails, and now that she’s put herself in the situation, she’s glad it’s still there. 

The hug with Robin, well it wasn’t a mistake. She needed it and Nancy wanted to give it to her. Wanted to show her that she was supported for sharing something so big. So traumatizing. If Nancy was sharing something like that, she would want a hug. 

But now she can’t stop thinking about what it felt like. How easily she fit into Robin’s arms. Wondering what it would be like to dig her face deeper into the crook of Robin’s neck. To run her hands up and down her spine and feel Robin’s fingertips nestle into Nancy’s hair. Would Robin pull Nancy into her lap, just to hold tighter, never letting go? Would the overwhelming warmth wash over her until it was all that she felt?

The thoughts that she’s kept under control for the last week come back in droves. She can’t stop finding her gaze lingering on Robin. Falling deeper into her eyes or her laugh. Her heart fluttered with every glance and breath stuttering with every graze. It was hopeless, there was no out from this. 

“That color is really pretty by the way,” Robin says before Nancy has the chance to spiral. “Your nail polish.”

“Oh,” Nancy looks down at the chipped polish, almost all of it gone by now. “Yeah, it was. I should repaint them sometime this weekend.”

“I mean, I could, if you wanted. That’s like a sleepover thing, right? That’s an actual question, I have no frame of reference. Though Steve did let me paint his nails once. Don’t tell him I told you that, he might actually kill me.”

Nancy giggles, feeling that betraying flutter again. “Did he really?”

“Yeah, I was doing mine and got bored so I asked to do his. He just let me do them. Washed it off the morning after, be I think he secretly liked it.”

“Sure, you can paint them,” she says with a shrug. She goes over to her dresser and picks up the color, some cotton balls, and some nail polish remover for whatever is left on her fingers. Putting the materials on the floor, she daps some of the remover onto a cotton ball and rubs off the rest of her polish. 

Robin takes the color off of the floor and shakes it. Unscrewing the cap and wiping off the excess before reaching out for Nancy to place her hand in hers. She doesn’t know why, but she didn’t expect Robin is hold her hand while doing it. But there really isn’t another way to do this, so she’ll have to. Carefully, she places her hand in Robin’s. 

Her hand is warm. That’s the first thing she notices. The second is how smooth her hands are. Fingers gliding against her, holding them steady when the polish is painted on. The soft hold Robin has on her hand makes her mind a little dizzy. Holding it like they’re delicate. Like she’s delicate. 

Nancy doesn’t like to be delicate. Delicate means vulnerability. Vulnerability means that you are weak. And Nancy isn’t weak. She’s the strongest person she knows because she molded herself to be that way. If Nancy needed to be vulnerable, needed to be delicate, that was for her eyes and her eyes only. Well her and the one person she would let in. But even then, her walls were never torn down. The dam never fully broke. 

But here, this delicacy doesn’t make her feel weak. It makes her feel cared for. With each stroke of the brush, Nancy feels safe. Like if her dam were to finally break, it would be ok. That Robin wouldn’t think of her any differently after it was done. Because Robin treated Nancy with respect and care, not like everyone else didn’t. This was just different. And it all comes back to the same question she refuses to answer in her mind. But now the answer is coming without her even realizing it. Chipping away at the box it’s kept it, almost breaking free. 

“Your hands are so cold,” Robin whispers when she switches hands.

“Maybe yours are just warm,” she jokes. But she can feel what Robin means. Her hands are freezing compared to the incomparable amount of warmth emitting from Robin’s. But maybe that’s just her. 

She looks up at Robin instead of looking at their hands. Taken away by just how pretty she is. Her concentrated eyes as she paints her nails with light pink. The small purse of her lips as she looks down. They look soft, Nancy thinks. She wonders what it would be like to feel them, to have them press against hers. For the first time, she doesn’t push the thought away. 

When Robin finishes, screwing the cap into place, she looks up at Nancy, their eyes meeting. She must have leaned in more than she thought she did because they were impossibly close. If she were to leave in just another inch or two, she could see how soft Robin’s lips were. She sees the small flicker in Robin’s eyes down to her own before they meet back to hers. Her breathing is steady compared to how fast her heart is beating. 

Maybe if she just stopped thinking, she could let herself live for once. 

A knock on her bedroom door breaks her out of the trance. She leans back far enough to hide the thoughts in her mind before he mom peaks through the door. “Just wanted to come say goodnight to you girls. Do you need anything before I check in for the night?”

“No, I think we’re good. Thank you, mom.”

“Yeah, thanks, Mrs. Wheeler.”

“Alright, good night then.”

When the door shuts, the moment, whatever it was, is gone. Now it’s just Nancy and Robin in her room, best friends. Since that’s all they will ever be. 

. . . 

Robin is vibrating out of her skin. Just mere inches away from her is Nancy, lying under the same covers she is. Their backs facing each other for some sense of privacy, but that really isn’t helping. They’re basically pressed up against each other with the way they’re sleeping. Robin curled up, almost hugging her knees to her chest, Nany giving herself a few inches so she wouldn’t fall off the bed. 

“Hey, Nance,” she whispers into the dark. “Are you still awake?”

“Yeah, sort of,” she replies before Robin hears shuffling. “What’s up?”

Robin turns around to face Nancy. “Don’t know, just can’t sleep.”

“Me either.” 

Nancy looks different in the dark. The slight moonlight coming in from the window illuminating her soft features. It’s almost impossible for Robin not to notice just how beautiful she is, even in the dark. 

“You know,” Nancy whispers. “I haven’t had a sleepover like this in a long time.”

“Really,” Robin asks, bringing her arm up to rest on. 

Nancy scrunches her brown and presses her lips together. “Yeah, not since Barb really.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring her up. I know you don’t like to talk about it.”

“But I kind of want to, with you. And you didn’t bring it up, I did. I’m just, tired of pretending like I don’t feel things, you know.”

“You must really miss her.”

Nancy smiles, full of silent sadness. “Yeah, I do. I do so fucking much. When we first started becoming friends, I couldn't help but think I was betraying her. Like I was replacing her with you. In a way I did, because you filled the spot in my life that I left empty for years. But I don’t think she’ll ever get fully replaced. I don’t want her to.”

Her eyes fill with tears and Robin so desperately wants to reach out. To do something to show her that she’s being heard, that it’s ok to tell her this. Anyway to comfort her because she knows that these words aren’t spoken as frequently as they should be. Nancy bottles things up, she’s admitted that in the past. This more than most, Robin can tell. 

“I still can’t help but think that it’s all my fault. That if I just stayed with her for two more minutes, made sure she got to her car, everything would have been fine. She cut herself at the party, that’s how it got her. We all got her to try and shotgun a beer, even though she didn’t want to. But it was a high school party and I was trying to be cool to impress a boy, so I got her to do it. And then she cut herself and I didn’t help bandage her up. Instead, I abandoned her to have sex. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”

Robin reaches out and grabs the hand that lies between her and Nancy. “It wasn’t your fault. There was no way you could have known that that could have happened.”

Nancy scoffs wetly. “It still doesn’t mean I’m a good friend. There are a lot of choices in my life that I regret, that is the biggest one. In that one night, I lost my best friend. The only person who knew me, actually knew me. I couldn’t hide from her, she was basically my sister. Part of me died that day with her. Do you know what that’s like?”

Tears are streaming down Nancy’s face now and Robin can’t help but wipe them away. “No, I don’t. I can’t even imagine the pain that you must have gone through. To lose that and keep going, keep getting stronger, that just shows how strong you are. And you didn’t do that despite her, you did that in honor of her. Look at what you’ve done. She would have been so proud of you.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I know so. She loved you, Nancy. You were her best friend too. We were all dumb teenagers once, we all make mistakes. Some more than others, but her death is not a fault of your own. And I know she doesn’t blame you for this.”

Robin pulls Nancy into a hug as she crumbles, sobbing into Robin’s shoulder. She hugs Nancy’s head close to her chest while the other holds her back, rubbing soothingly up and down. Nancy clutches onto Robin as she cries, and Robin lets her. Will keep letting her for as long as she needs. Even if it means they fall asleep that way. 

. . . 

When Nancy wakes up, Robin’s arm is still around her. She’s rolled onto her back while they slept, but there’s still that form of contact, that lingering touch. She rubs off the dried tears from her cheeks, feeling loved instead of ashamed. Nancy lied last night, she realizes. Barb isn’t the only person who knew everything about Nancy, Robin does too. 

Well, not everything. Robin still doesn’t know the thoughts that race through her mind every time she’s around. She doesn’t know how her heartbeat speeds up or her breath quickens. She doesn’t know that Nancy almost kissed her last night, and still wants to. 

She wants to. So much. It can’t be hidden away anymore. It’s a fact, pure and true. As Nancy looks at Robin, still fast asleep, she watches the deep breaths come out of her slightly parted lips. Sees the peacefulness of uninterrupted slumber radiate off of her skin, illuminating from the morning sun. Her hair strewn about on the pillow, frizzy and tangled. Nancy wants to run her hands through it and wake Robin up with kisses along her jaw. She wants to make Robin feel as loved as Nancy does when she’s around. 

When Robin stirs, rolling over her head and her sleepy eyes meeting Nancy’s. “Morning, Nance,” she says with her sleep-rattled voice. 

“Morning, Robbie.” 

Robin smiles, Nancy wants to drink that smile. “Robbie, I like that.”

I like you, Nancy thinks, unable to deny herself any longer. She likes Robin, the same way she liked Jonathan, the same way she liked Steve. There’s no running from it anymore. It’s there lying in the forefront of her mind, the only thing she can think about. There’s no falsity in that statement. 

Nancy has a crush on a girl. Not just a girl, but her best friend. After years of liking strictly only boys, now she likes a girl. A girl who cares for her so deeply that it makes her want to split in two. A girl who held her while she cried over the traumas and pains of her past. Only offering soothing words and her embrace to make sure Nancy feels comforted. There was no judgment, no condescending words, no trying to make it all better. Just letting the pieces fall out only to be given back whole again. 

A girl who gives one look at Nancy that makes her want to give the world in order just to get it again. Normally panic would fill Nancy up until it overtakes her, breaking her down and crushing her world of everything she thought she knew. But as she looks at Robin, she can’t help but think that this is the one thing in her life that feels right. That of course Nancy feels this way because it was how it was all meant to be. 

But that little sense of relief leaves with Robin as Nancy waves goodbye from her front door. Now all she feels is panic in the bedroom that was graced by Robin’s presence a few minutes ago. Nancy lays down in her bed, wishing that Robin was still there next to her, and starts to freak out.

[keepalivebollywood]

Unraveling the Emotions: A Deep Dive into Bollywood`s Heartbreak Anthems

Welcome to a melodious journey through the heart-wrenching realms of Bollywood’s soul-stirring ballads! Brace yourself as we embark on an enchanting expedition into the world of emotions and unravel the hidden depths behind Bollywood’s heartbreak anthems. From tear-soaked lyrics to haunting melodies, these songs have been etching themselves into our souls for decades, capturing the essence of human pain like no other. So grab your tissues and prepare to dive deep into a sea of love lost, as we decode the magic that lies within these timeless classics.

Introduction to Bollywood Heartbreak Anthems

When it comes to heartbreak, Bollywood knows how to capture all the feels. From the initial pain of betrayal to the eventual acceptance of moving on, every stage of a breakup is soundtracked by some of the most memorable songs in Hindi cinema. Join us as we take a deep dive into the emotions of heartbreak with some of Bollywood’s most iconic breakup anthems.

From Lata Mangeshkar’s “Tere Bina Jindegi Se koi ” to Alka Yagnik’s “Tujhe Yaad Na Meri Aayi”, there are plenty of timeless classics that perfectly capture the heartache and pain of a broken relationship. But there are also more recent hits like Arijit Singh’s “Hamari Adhuri Kahani ” and Shreya Ghoshal’s “Sunn Raha Hai Na Tu” that have become instant breakup anthems in their own right. No matter what your taste in music is, there’s sure to be a Bollywood heartbreak anthem that resonates with you.

So put on your headphones, pour yourself a glass of wine, and let these songs help you through whatever stage of heartbreak you’re currently going through. We promise, you’re not alone.

Exploring the Different Emotions Reflected in Bollywood Songs

There’s something about a heartbreak anthem that just gets us. They make us feel seen, understood, and most importantly, not alone. From the eternal classics to more modern hits, Bollywood has always had a way of speaking to our hearts and reflecting the different emotions we experience when going through a break-up.

Whether it’s the pain of unrequited love, the feeling of betrayal, or simply the sadness that comes with saying goodbye, there’s a Bollywood song for every type of heartbreak. And while they might not always offer up the best advice on how to deal with a break-up, they definitely give us comfort in knowing that we’re not alone in our feelings.

So, next time you’re feeling down about a break-up, put on one of these songs and let yourself feel all the feels. Trust us, it’ll make you feel better.

Analyzing the Lyrics of Popular Heartbreak Anthems

When it comes to heartbreak anthems, there are few things more cathartic than belting out a tune with all your might. Whether you’re wallowing in your sorrows or trying to move on, these songs always seem to hit the spot. But what is it about these popular tunes that make them so relatable?

Let’s take a look at the lyrics of some of Bollywood’s most popular heartbreak anthems and see what we can learn about the emotions involved in a break-up.

“Tum Hi Ho” by Arijit Singh

This song is all about the pain of losing someone you love. The lyrics talk about how the singer is struggling to get through each day without their loved one by their side. There is a sense of desperation and hopelessness in the singer’s voice as they try to hold on to any memories they have of their time together.

“Tum Hi Ho” Translation: Only You Are There, In My Heart I am trying, every day, without you living each moment, for you (only for you) my heart beats.. only for you.. my life is only for you..

“Tum Hi Ho” Lyrics Meaning: The lyrics of this song are quite self-explanatory. The singer is pining for their lost love and trying to find ways to cope with their absence. The chorus talks about how the singer would be nothing

Examining How Music Influences Our Emotional Health

In India, film music is an integral part of the movie-watching experience. The songs often play a pivotal role in furthering the plot and driving the emotions of the characters on screen. And while we may not always be conscious of it, the music in these films often has a profound impact on our own emotions as well.

For many of us, Bollywood heartbreak anthems have become the soundtrack to our own personal breakups and heartaches. These songs perfectly capture the pain and anguish of a broken heart, and they can often help us to process and deal with our own emotions

Interestingly, research has shown that listening to sad music can actually be beneficial for our emotional health. Studies have found that listening to sad music can lead to increased feelings of empathy and compassion, as well as decreased levels of anxiety and depression.

So next time you’re feeling down about a break-up or any other sadness in your life, don’t be afraid to crank up those Bollywood heartbreak anthems. They just might be exactly what you need to help you feel better.

Cultural Impact of Bollywood Heartbreak Anthems

The cultural impact of Bollywood heartbreak anthems is profound. For generations, these songs have been a source of comfort for those going through a tough break-up. They capture the pain and longing that comes with lost love, and offer a cathartic release for listeners.

These songs have also had a significant influence on Indian popular culture. They are often referenced in films and TV shows, and have become part of the country’s collective consciousness. Even those who don’t speak Hindi can sing along to these classics.

So why do we keep coming back to these songs when our hearts are broken? Perhaps it’s because they offer a sense of solidarity – we’re not alone in our pain. Or maybe it’s because they’re just so darn catchy! Whatever the reason, there’s no denying the power of a good Bollywood heartbreak anthem.

Understanding the Role of Music in Healing a Broken Heart

It is said that music has the power to heal a broken heart. And while this may be true for some, it is not always the case. There are many factors that contribute to the healing process, and music is just one of them. While it can be a helpful tool, it is not always the panacea that people make it out to be.

There are many different types of music, and each one can have a different effect on the listener. Some music is uplifting and empowering, while others are sad and melancholic. The type of music that you choose to listen to after a break-up should be based on your own personal preference and what makes you feel better.

For some people, listening to sad songs after a break-up can actually make them feel worse. If this is the case for you, then it’s best to avoid these types of songs altogether. Instead, focus on finding music that makes you feel good and helps you to remember the happy times in your relationship.

There is no right or wrong way to heal a broken heart. Everyone copes with break-ups differently, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what works best for you. If listening to music helps you to cope with your break-up, then go ahead and do it. But if it doesn’t, don’t force yourself to listen to it. Instead, focus on finding other ways to heal and move forward with your life.

The Top 10 Heartbroken Bollywood Songs That Tug at Your Emotions”

“Tadap Tadap Ke” – Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (1999) “Channa Mereya” – Ae Dil Hai Mushkil (2016) “Kabira” – Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (2013) “Ae Dil Hai Mushkil” – Ae Dil Hai Mushkil (2016) “Tum Hi Ho” – Aashiqui 2 (2013) “Dil De Diya Hai” – Masti (2004) “Phir Bhi Tumko Chaahungi” – Half Girlfriend (2017) “Tum Bin Jiya Jaye Kaise” – Tumbin(2001) “Baaton Ko Teri” – All Is Well (2015) “Dard Dilo Ke Kam Ho Jate” – The Xpose (2014)

These songs beautifully portray the pain, longing, and vulnerability experienced in matters of the heart, making them unforgettable heartbreak anthems in Bollywood.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Bollywood music has a special power to evoke all kinds of emotions with its heartbreak anthems. From joyous dance numbers to melancholic ballads, these songs have the ability to bring us back in time and remind us of our own experiences with love lost and lessons learned. While every song carries a unique message, they all share one thing in common—they help us come to terms with the pain that comes from breaking up or being hurt by someone we care about. So next time you feel down and out after a messy break-up, don’t forget there’s always some beautiful Bollywood tunes waiting for you!

[riinzler]

The warning, like with most things spoken by the User, was ignored. Rinzler wouldn’t be detained, he wasn’t stupid and wouldn’t draw undue attention to himself. Whether the same could be said for Kevin_Flynn remained to be seen. He hadn’t caused issue when they’d boarded the transport, though that didn’t mean he wouldn’t make things more difficult in the future. There weren’t many other Users in the vehicle, and unlike Kevin_Flynn most were located towards the back, leaving Rinzler with multiple options on where to position himself. After analyzing the various Users’ behaviors he came to the unfortunate conclusion that he’d have to be seated in order to best go unnoticed. The nanosecond delay it took to get back to his feet made him choose not to do so unless necessary and this seemed to be a situation where such a thing was required. Rinzler took the seat next to Kevin_Flynn, monitoring both him, the other Users, and the passing surroundings. “Why are you leaking?” It wasn’t worded as much of a question, more-so a voicing of displeasure. It wasn’t blood and the User didn’t appear harmed, so it likely wasn’t all that important. It did trigger his olfactory sensors though, which was unpleasant.

It wasn’t as smooth of a ride as he was used to, likely due to the texture of the road. As they continued on without incident, even switching to something similar to a light rail, Rinzler naively began to assume that things would keep progressing. Arriving at the initial building, the one mirrored on the Grid, and finding the laser still in disrepair was…frustrating. He wished more then anything that he’d been installed with the knowledge on how to proceed, that he’d been given information from the portal’ operating programs, but Clu had thought those that had been rectified would be there when needed, none of them had ever thought it would be Rinzler alone on the other side. He stalked around the limited space, both to try to burn through some of the energy causing his aggression, and to literally look at the problem from another angle.

The laser looked the same as it had when they’d been there previously, all of the surrounding equipment much the same. What if there wasn’t truly anything wrong with it? He looked back through his memory files of his arrival and found nothing amiss…except for one thing. The second User had shut the Grid down, presumably leaving it in suspension. It meant Rinzler wouldn’t have to worry about all the time lost, but more importantly, it may cause the laser to actually work. While he knew it likely wasn’t that simple, it was worth trying. He was starting to get desperate, driven towards an objective that couldn’t yet be achieved.

Rinzler repeated the motion he’d seen used before to activate the Grid again, with no visible change to the control center other than a few lights switching on. In contrast, the noise of its fans starting up was nearly deafening after the time he’d spent pacing in silence. He turned towards the User and motioned to the laser, an expectant look hidden under his helmet. “Begin repairs.” He had told him when they’d first arrived that he’d be set on fixing the laser as soon as possible. Rinzler just hoped against all odds that this would be somewhat quick, he didn’t want to leave Clu waiting. It would be much faster than the User’s predicted timeframe, which would be good if all went well, otherwise it may complicate things. If repairs were not completed within the millicycle should he shut the Grid off again?

He went to investigate the now lit up screen, debating the potential positives and negatives from his frustratingly limited dataset as he did so. On one hand it would freeze the Grid at its current point for later reactivation, preventing things from getting any worse, but on the other, what if something went wrong? The Grid had only been shut off once before, there could be longer term effects he wasn’t aware of. Rinzler placed a finger against the screen, careful not to touch any of the code laid out. Like with the machines on the floor above the energy within it strained to reach him, leaving a static feeling in its wake. So close to home, yet so far. He directed his attention back towards Kevin_Flynn, moving to join him. There didn’t seem to be much progress.

“Status?” He questioned, circling where the laser sat by the wall. Not that he’d take the User’s word on the state of it, but he was confident that he’d be able to tell if the User was lying, which would tell him more about its real condition.

/* went for the continuing the previous thread scenario... —@spaceparanoids-highestscore */

Flynn had been meditating when the beacon lit, and so when he finally became aware of it, he had no idea how long it had been.

He ignored it. When he fought back, Clu only got more powerful, and he could not afford Clu's forces finding him, or getting a hold of his disc while the portal was open.

He ignored the beacon, and the news of a user in the datastream up until he found out the other user was Dillinger's Kid, but what could that tiny kid he'd seen Dillinger's wife dragging around between court hearing before the company'd been passed to him.

...Except that had been five years before he ended up trapped on the Grid, and a thousand cycles since. And if the kid was anything like his father...

Flynn was overcome with the sudden need to get the kid off the Grid, because he thought Clu was bad, but Dillinger's kid was anything like his father, things were about to get so, so much worse.

.........

And somehow that had led to a chase to the portal, and Flynn handing Dillinger's kid his disc and telling him he'd deal with Clu and Tron.

...Except that Dillinger's kid didn't listen, and instead dragged Flynn to the portal, squeezing his hand so tight that it might it might fall off.

"Like hell you're doing the noble sacrifice thing," Dillinger's son growled. "I'm so fucking tired of Bradley waxing poetic about the good ol' days and how much he misses you, and maybe if you're back your son will stop his obnoxious pranks on the company and I can get some damn sleep for once."

And before Flynn could process what the kid had said or the sensation of someone latching onto his other arm, they're in the portal, and then suddenly everything goes very dark.

Flynn was back in the real world, for the first time in twenty years.

He was so shocked, he didn't notice when Dillinger's kid turned off the computer, just that when he scrambled over to fix twenty years worth of chaos, it was off.

"What—what did you do?" he asked.

Dillinger's kid rolled his eyes. "Don't worry, everything's saved. I didn't delete your evil clone, but at least now he can't somehow make anything worse. It's late. We should both go home. Deal with it tomorrow."

As much as Flynn was skeptical, he did have a point, and now that the adrenaline rush was over and he was feeling every bit his age.

The Grid was shut down. He could deal with the aftermath tomorrow.

Except... now without the hum of the computer, he could hear another noise, somewhere between a purr and a growl, and realized that Dillinger's kid wasn't the only unexpected visitor to the arcade for the night.

Coming to the real world alone had never been the plan. It had been a spur of the moment decision once he’d scaled to the top of the portal tower. He saw the Users, saw that they were going to escape, and moved before he could register that he’d done so. That might’ve been a mistake.

He would’ve regretted the choice more had it not put him closer to achieving Clu’s goals. Kevin_Flynn and his coveted disc in one place, in the open and undefended. As soon as they’d arrived Rinzler had tucked himself into the darkness under the desk, using the fact that the lights hadn’t been activated to his advantage. He held in his rattling growl for as long as he could while waiting for the secondary target to exit. He didn’t require oxygen but the way the audio output was connected to his processor made it difficult.

Waiting for two equally insufferable Users to finish their idle exchange wasn't his idea of a productive use of his time but he couldn’t rush it, he needed to be patient and wait for an opportunity to arise. At least he knew the Grid was safe for now.

As soon as the other User left the room he latched into Kevin_Flynn’s ankle, pulling it with enough force to take the User to the ground. With that done he lunged out of his hiding spot and pinned him to the ground, scrambling at his back for the disc.

It was about more than just fulfilling his standing orders, now that Kevin_Flynn had done…something to try to make him think of firing on the Admin it was personal. Rinzler’s own discs had been left behind on the Rectifier but he could still fight without them, he wouldn’t fail.

…It wasn’t there.

Why the fuck wasn’t it there? Where had it gone? He’d been watching the entire time, the disc hadn’t been set down! Now that he was looking he could see that the User’s doc was missing too.

Rinzler would’ve screamed in frustration had he been capable of it, but he wasn’t so he was just going to have to settle for removing pieces of the User until he gave up the disc’ location. Normally he was against torture as it rarely leant itself to favorable results, but this was a difficult circumstance. Keeping his grip tight enough to not facilitate an escape he leaned in, Kevin_Flynn’s reflection staring back at him from the shiny surface of Rinzler’s helmet.

“Where is your disc, User?” His voice was so distorted it was difficult to understand what had been said, not helped by the loud growl he was emitting though the murderous intent was clear.

[therealvinelle]

If Bella didn’t exist, what kind of partner do you see Edward being with and settling down with? Do you think he would eventually find someone or just be alone forever?

Sorry that I took so ridiculously long to answer!

The answer to this one is bleak.

Because why, exactly, does Edward fall in Bella? What makes her stand out from the crowd?

Famously, it’s her blood. 

He smells it and just like that it became his highest priority in this world. 

“I hadn’t imagined that such a scent could exist. If I’d known it did, I would have gone searching for it long ago. I would have scoured the planet for. I could imagine the taste.” (Midnight Sun, page 12)

People tend to downplay a bit just how insignificant Bella’s scent is to Edward. This is past “she smells like freesias<3”. This is a predator who just found the greatest prey he’ll ever find. This is the core of Edward/Bella, and there’s nothing personal or romantic about it.

Further, Edward is a person who puts all his stock in reading people’s minds. It’s how he interacts with people, and he has based much of his personality and self-esteem on it. He fancies himself someone who knows and understands the people around him intimately. How could he not? He knows their every thought.

Enter now the girl he can’t keep his mind off because her blood is driving him mad. Chapter 2 of Midnight Sun opens with him trying to stargaze in peace, but he’s just thinking about Bella. 

(...) a face, just an unremarkable human face, but I couldn’t quite seem to banish it from my mind. (Midnight Sun, page 26)

Of course, this is intended to be because they’re mates and Edward is supposed to already be already in love with her. He just doesn’t know it yet!<3

Well, I don’t believe in mates, and this guy is not in love. He finds Bella plain (chapter 1), unremarkable (chapter 2), even her eye color is boring. Not to mention that he doesn’t know her at all and desperately wants to eat her.

Anyway, Edward ends up returning to Forks, and finds that he can’t read her mind. The girl with the irresistible blood that he is already obsessed with is now officially an enigma. It’s no longer just about the blood, it’s about the entirety of Bella Swan. Who is this girl his mind won’t stop circling around?

He decides to find out.

This is where the mess that is Edward Cullen comes in, because in spite of or perhaps because of his gift, Edward has a very poor understanding of people. He judges people based on what he gleans from their minds, assuming that his gift lets him see their true self. Taking Rosalie for an example, she thinks about her looks compulsively. Edward takes this to mean that she’s vain. He never asks himself why Rosalie would be like this, if perhaps she’s like this because when it’s what her family and everyone else in her life has valued about her, if it’s because she doesn’t feel she has any other value, or if she in any way has a reason for obsessing over her looks that runs deeper than vanity.

My point being, Edward doesn’t get people, and he doesn’t know that he doesn’t get people. He bases his understanding of them on what he reads in their minds.

And so, when he sets about getting to know Bella Swan, he does so by asking her a million questions, and analyzing every answer she gives him. One example, he asks her which CD she’s listening to, she tells him, he asks which tune she likes best, she tells him, he runs through the lyrics in his head looking for some kind of clue.

He asks her questions that ultimately mean nothing, but they allow him to feel he’s getting closer. The result here is that he doesn’t know her at all, but he thinks he does. More on that later.

We also get him observing her. She’s nice to others, she doesn’t do the shallow teen things he disapproves of like fawning over him or gossiping with Jessica Stanley, and it totals to him quite liking what he sees. More on this later as well.

So, we have three components here that draws Edward to Bella. There’s her blood, her mystery, and the fact that he likes what he sees.

And that last bit is what the whole ship hinges on, for obvious reasons.

But what exactly does he see?

When Edward is drafting out her personality, he draws conclusions based on what he wants to see. He likes Bella, and more, he wants her to be special. He ends up imagining someone who is of course much too good for him, who probably won’t even give him the time of day, a person who couldn’t care less about his inhuman beauty. He projects a persona onto Bella that is saintly, and honestly quite similar to Carlisle. This persona has little to nothing to do with who Bella is. A good example of how far removed Edward’s Bella is from the real Bella is that he’s surprised to learn she finds him attractive.

Cut to Twilight, and Bella spends 90% of the book fawning over his inhuman beauty, and being very much a mortal teenager who has a crush on a boy. It’s just that she doesn’t gossip with Jessica, and Edward can’t read her fangirling mind, so he never has to find out that his version of Bella is made up.

There’s also the fact that Bella is very much the ideal woman to Edward. Frail, ladylike, naturally beautiful without makeup, kind, nurturing, aloof and above the other, menial teens. Edward very much has a Madonna/Whore complex (look at how he treats Rosalie), and Bella is the ultimate Madonna.

Then there’s the fact that Bella is human, which is a whole other can of worms best reserved for another post. I’ll just say this, Edward is deeply disgusted by vampires, and would not have fallen in love with one.

So, I think Bella was a perfect storm. Delicious enough that he became obsessed with her based on that alone, being around her is torturous which in turn makes it a challenge he can’t resist, a hidden mind he can project whatever personality he like onto, and she’s the kind of woman he approves of. Even her taste in literature is something that a snob like Edward can agree with.

It was Bella or bust.

More, as you’ve perhaps guessed from this rant, I don’t believe Edward loves her. He thinks he does, and he wants to because he has this whole romantic fantasy he’s living with her, but he doesn’t. There are a lot of things he would have done differently in this series if he did, such as not taking her to that meadow in the first place when there was a good chance he could kill her.

[whoree321]

I am not sure if you have done this already, (if you have, you can ignore it) BUT... I'd love to see some NSFW headcannons for Tech...

i have not done this yet but i am frothing at the mouth at the opportunity! the lust that i feel for that man is indescribable

nsfw tech headcanons

warning: if the title wasn’t clear, these are literally just dirty dirty sex thoughts. X rated shit. if filth of this nature is not suitable for you plz don’t read<3

first and foremost it is very very important for me to say that i know, with 100% confidence, that tech is the best at sex of all the bad batch members

i understand this may be a controversial take. some of you may disagree. i don’t care.

the reasons that tech is the best at sex are threefold

1) tech does not tolerate being anything less than exceedingly proficient when it comes to his knowledge and abilities in any given subject of interest. regardless of the occasion, he won’t accept a below average performance from himself. tech has put in the hours, on and off the field (if you will), to ensure he is well versed in anything and everything to do with sex and pleasure. and he’s always anxious to experiment and learn more

2) tech is not hindered by shyness in the bedroom. when he knows what he’s doing, tech is confident (borderline arrogant), and as stated in reason #1, he KNOWS what he’s doing. tech may be a blushing, bashful mess when it comes to the emotional aspects of a relationship, but once y’all start getting hot and heavy he loses pretty much all of that. he knows he’s gonna show you a good time, and he’s excited

3) tech is also not hindered by pride in the bedroom. he has a very holistic view of sex (seriously he did a lot of research, he knows every school of thought regarding sexual intimacy), and he understands it in both a physical, theoretical way and also in a more emotional way. his main concern is mutual satisfaction by any means necessary, but if you’re in a relationship he’s also very interested in using sex has a way to like strengthen your connection. tech has no interest in being some kind of macho, alpha male that can conquer you or something. he’s not gonna limit himself to certain positions or methods to try to preserve his sense of masculinity. he wants you to feel good, and nothing is off the table. he will explore anything to enhance the experience (like seriously anything- we will get into that in a bit)

so for those reasons, i think tech is lowkey a sex god

whether or not you’ve had sex before when you and tech get together, sleeping with him for the first time might as well be your first time ever

because you did not know sex could really be THAT good

and that’s before he has the opportunity to really learn your body and figure out the best ways to pleasure you

i think that for a hot second, sex with tech is always a little bit of an experiment

he’s obviously focused on you and the moment, but he’s also doing research. (with your permission) tech will literally take detailed notes, he’ll record you so he can watch it back and analyze his performance like a professional athlete or something. he’s keeping track of how you respond to different things, how fast he can get you hurtling over the edge with different positions, paces, toys, etc.

side note: he loves toys. tech will modify toys (or fully build his own) based on both of your specific needs, so that even the toys yall use are designed with maximum efficiency

that’s really the only flaw with tech in a sexual sense: he’s really really methodical in the beginning, and it can sometimes take away from the genuine passion of the moment

once he’s satisfied with his research and feels confident in his knowledge of your body tho, it becomes wayyyy more natural and intimate rather than a science experiment. he’s solid in his physical knowledge of you, so he’s more focused on enjoying the moment and having fun

it’s almost like he needed to memorize the best way to fuck you and do it over and over until he didn’t need to consciously think about it before he could fully let himself go with you. there’s a notable transition when sex goes from being a technical mission for him to achieve your orgasm, to being a mutually/equally passionate, erotic experience

tech is a switch and you can’t change my mind

he usually assumes more of a dominant role, enjoying having you begging and whimpering beneath him, but he also loves when you take the reigns and have your way with him

i don’t think he’s the horniest of all the batchers, but he most certainly has a plentiful sex drive

when y’all haven’t had a chance to fuck in a while tech is secretly incorrigible

to the untrained eye, he’s good at keeping it to himself, but it’s very obvious to you. he goes out of his way to be just a little too close to you, his eyes linger on you just a little too long, his hands find their way to be touching you more than normal

he’s usually really easy to tease, but especially when he’s like this

literally you just stroke his forearm and whisper something lightly seductive in his ear and he’s pulling you into the nearest private space and absolutely rearranging your guts

circling back to what i said about tech becoming less scientific and more passionate during sex as time goes on with you, i think that also applies to dirty talk

i think he’s generally pretty vocal in bed, but it takes a little bit for him to nail the sensuality of dirty talk

at first, it’s not something he can really do that sounds very natural, like it comes out just a little too technical sounding

but once tech gets comfortable with you and really lets himself be fully vulnerable and open to you, he’s actually really really good at it. it still sounds just a little formal, but in an endearing and sexy way

he loves to tell you how sexy you are, how beautiful you look, how well you’re taking him, how good you feel

this man def has a degradation kink (specifically with intelligence)

like he doesn’t even really realize it himself until one time he’s testing out his newest toy on you and he asks you how it feels and you can’t even string together a coherent thought, much less a sentence, and he notices and starts asking more and more questions just to see you struggle to think of a response

and then he’s putting the toy down and going absolutely feral on you, pounding into you and saying that you’re just a cock dumb slut, that you’re so desperate and horny for him you can’t even think, that it’s so easy to just just absolute filth and he’s so condescending and arrogant about it

you both finish almost synchronously and after the aftershocks have passed and you’ve caught your breath, the two of you can’t help giggling a little bit as you comment that you weren’t expecting that to be as hot as it was, and he agrees

and omg if you uno reverse card it and do the same thing to him? he’s a fucking mess

like you’ve been torturously edging him, and every time you get him to the brink you ask him some sort of complex mathematical question or something, and he’s so wrecked he can’t spit the answer out so you say something like “aww i guess you’re not as smart as i thought, that’s ok baby at least you’re still pretty”. he’s a whining, shaking mess by the time you let him cum

(once he pulls himself together he definitely gets you back for it too)

also i think tech really really likes to leave hickeys on you exactly in the most precarious places. like he knows the exact measurements of where your clothes cover your skin and he loves to leave marks like right on the edge so that it’s mostly hidden but if anything shifts it’s visible

if any of the the other boys notice and tease you, he gets the most smug little grin on his face. once you have a second to yourselves, he saunters over to you and apologizes, but you know he’s happy to remind everyone that you’re his

overall i am just so fucking horny for this man like i just know tech is a phenomenal lover, he’s so focused on you and is just so good at all of it i would give anything to take him to pound town

[kazuwhora]

hello hello, i see your requests are open now and can i request izana, wakasa, chifuyu and kazutora with an akutagawa!s/o? hope you have a great day/noon/night! ✨🤗

hi anon! sure! I will try my best with izana and wakasa since there's not tons to work with personality wise so forgive me if theirs are a little shorter heh. im gonna include a little blurb from the bsd fandom wiki for anyone not familiar with his character! I like these kinds of headcanon requests so if anyone wants to see more please feel free to request!

"Akutagawa has a black and white "survival of the fittest" view of the world, claiming that weak people should die and give way to the stronger ones. He is not afraid of pain and defeat His ruthless, vicious nature makes him one of the Port Mafia's most dangerous members, feared by both ally and foe. As violent as he is, Akutagawa maintains a generally composed and detached approach. Towards subordinates and superiors alike, he acts aloof, distancing himself from social interactions however possible. Nonetheless, his composure is fragile. Akutagawa is quick to lash out, ridiculing him for risking the bounty by acting recklessly. This quick temper often gets in his way, fuelling his actions to the core of his very being."

SUMMARY: izana, wakasa, chifuyu, && kazutora with an akutagawa!so

CW: hints of toxicity and violence, mentions of sex but not really all that nsfw-ish so otherwise not much else!

IZANA

- this is an interesting one because from what we know about izana, he is very similar in personality to akutagawa in terms of ruthlessness that stems from childhood trauma and isolation.

- in the case of a s/o with this personality, I think it would be a troubling relationship. lots of bitter fights fuelled by nothing but an inability to express vulnerability, while leaving both of you torn up inside and begging for someone to nurture the trauma and allow space for emotions.

- that being said, with toxicity and trauma also comes intense passion and desire. this relationship brings a lot of fire both in the bedroom and outside of the bedroom, with simple arguments often spawning into intense desperate (and lengthy might I add) sex. like, intense. it's almost like sex is the only safe outlet of these pent up emotions, providing a sort of comfort and also distraction for both parties.

- however as I said in general, this is definitely a toxic relationship. one where neither can help the other when it comes to growth and improvement on a personal level. it's unhealthy and enabling, but for a short lived fling it is hot as fuck im not even gonna lie. lots of hate sex too.

WAKASA

- so wakasa is another interesting one alongside izana given the lack of information and content we have about his character so please excuse the slight kc fanon version I have in my head of wakasa lol

- wakasa has a "don't fuck with me because I do not fucking care" type of vibe to him. I definitely think he's the type to completely disengage from the type of behaviours an akutagawa-type s/o might display. this leads to sort of a sense of competitiveness in trying to get some kind of reaction from him, and it has the potential (much like izana) to become toxic in nature

- any attempts to get under his skin are failed attempts, and the way he looks at you with that half bored expression is something that only triggers more of a somewhat emotional response from you.

- with that being said, my fanon version of wakasa is someone who while cold and aloof, is also quite a rational person. he's been typed by the fandom as INTJ which is quite a quick thinker, and I think he probably (despite not showing it very well) has a soft spot for you. but your passion and intensity (as well as your easily triggered dynamic) keeps him from completely being able to express this care in any way other than not engaging with your antics

- as much as there are some similarities with the type of toxicity in this relationship with both wakasa and izana, the intense passion isn't quite the same as it is with izana. instead, feelings of passion are more to the point and driven by pure instinct and desire rather than toxic passion. wakasa seeming like a very literal person, is actually quite mysterious deep down and has a lot (I mean a lot) of hidden desires and kinks that begin to emerge with time. it's rarely a conversation, and more often just something that happens that surprises you. you just have to go with the flow here, and let him take the reigns for once. it might actually be a good opportunity to allow for vulnerability to take the spotlight for once, which is something wakasa is surprisingly in tune with and quite to the point about.

CHIFUYU

- this is something much healthier than the last two. chifuyu, being an enfp is someone that's able to handle this level of intensity in a person while still being able to understand what's really going on.

- call him the trauma counsellor king. he values each and every response to a trigger that you might have. he notices patterns, he makes mental notes of things, and he does this all without making it seem like he's analyzing.

- to be honest he actually loves the spunk you bring on a day to day level. even though most of the time it's driven by bitterness or hate (not always towards him just in general) he is still able to see beyond that and appreciate you for what you are.

- with that being said, chifuyu will not stand for any toxic behaviour towards him. no sir he will not. threats and pushes for fights wont be tolerated, and he will either disengage or try to expose your vulnerabilities in an attempt at forced submission. this can be hard to get used to, especially with having a personality characterized by the inability to accept being vulnerable. but with time chifuyu is one to create a safe space for you to allow yourself to feel emotions beyond anger and resentment, and he encourages this.

- because of this very feelings based approach, intimacy with chifuyu is just that: intimate. he's extremely loving and doting, hoping that his sweetness can rub off on you a little bit. however he's also very accepting of your need for power over him (especially during sex) and will absolutely submit to your needs in order to please you.

- he really likes to put you in a place of pleasure though, so however that may come to you chifuyu is the one to deliver it.

KAZUTORA

- oh boy. this one is a doozy. listen. if we're talking about timeskip kazutora (as is the case with all characters i write about but I feel it especially important to remind ppl of here given his history), we're talking about someone who is quite literally walking on eggshells in terms of his trauma and emotional vulnerability.

- he's pretty good at being emotionally aware of his needs and struggles as well as the needs and struggles of those around him, but that doesn't mean that he's entirely healed or capable of managing toxicity or his triggers. he still slips up from time to time especially when things get hard, and sometimes finds himself falling into his old patterns. after all, he's only human. but this is where things could get messy in a relationship.

- for the most part, like I said, he's pretty good. so let's focus on that part first since I want to give him credit where it's due. he is very desperate for love and dedicated to providing something to his partner. in this case, he will seek to tap into his emotional vulnerability to provide some sort of comfort for you. he wants to see you happy, and calm, because he sees so much of his old self in you that it gets to him sometimes. but at the same time, he struggles with your relentlessness and can become emotionally drained when things get tough. he'll beat himself up for not being good enough to help you, and this is when he'll isolate and fall into old patterns.

- however, akutagawa's personality type isn't all bad. with a s/o like akutagawa, comes an immense amount of protection and loyalty for their loved ones no matter how tough things might be. in this case it might be hard to communicate this, but there will be times when it's needed in order for kazutora to restrain from old habits and ways of dealing with hardships. but he wants to share his healing with you, he wants you to be happy, and more than anything he understands the struggle of wanting to be happy and healthy but being afraid of losing the one thing that makes you you: your attitude and relentlessness. nobody understands this better than kazutora, which is why things between you can get frustrating and very personal for him.

- much like chifuyu, sex is driven towards pleasing you and only you. chifuyu leans more into switch territory however, while kazutora is 100% submissive. in this case it works out well, however he has a lot of boundaries and limitations when it comes to the way in which you function. he doesn't like degradation. instead, he thrives from praise and any sign of love and care. this might be tough for you to execute 100% of the time, but when it comes down to it the way his eyes twinkle for you is enough to make the ice around your heart melt just a little more each time.

[merakiui]

hii could we get an angsty scenario/hcs of xiao and scaramouche/any characters you prefer! who are basically head over heels for someone but that person keeps getting with the wrong people and constantly getting their heart broken? Preferably with a good/fluffy ending but it’s up to you!

cw: angst + heartbreak  note - decided to go for scenarios! (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[Xiao] 

One Call Away—

The sudden shout of his name had brought him out into the open, where he finds you sitting in a field of wildflowers, your head hung and quiet sobs racking your hunched form.

“You called?” The gruffness in his voice startles you and your head snaps up. He notices your pained expression and the tears that refuse to cease, and it gives birth to a strange feeling within his chest. “What happened? Surely I am not too late.” And then he shakes his head. “No, I’m never late.”

“Ah... I’m sorry.” You sniffle, pitifully rubbing at your eyes. “I guess your name slipped out. I didn’t mean to bother you. I just didn’t mean to call for you either.”

Xiao raises a brow and then surveys the surrounding area. “Well, it doesn’t look like you’re in any mortal peril. In that case, I’ll leave you to—”

“No!”

Your sudden shout startles the both of you, with you drawing back and Xiao’s eyes widening ever so slightly. He wonders why you’re crying when beautiful scenery surrounds you. Are you truly that pathetic? Are mortals usually this weak-hearted? Xiao can’t wrap his head around the idea of grief; he’s an immortal who has seen plenty of hazardous scenarios worth grieving over. Yet with the passage of time he has learned to let such emotions drift away on a wind current. Emotions are useless to an adeptus.

But now he’s stuck with them.

“No?”

“D-Don’t go...” Your voice wobbles and you wipe at your reddened eyes. “I don’t want to bother you, but could you stay here with me? For a little while, at least. It’s all I’ll ask...”

He feels like he should decline your desperate plea before it spreads its perplexing roots throughout his system. The words are practically on the tip of his tongue and he struggles to verbalize them. If he could, he’d shake his head and vanish from your sight. There’s something about your expression that forces him to stay, and he truly detests the way his emotions run wild at the prospect of something he can’t quite comprehend.

“Fine.”

And so Xiao listens to you. It’s something he does best; his eyes and ears are open as he gives you his full, undivided attention. Half of him observes your reactions as you explain what happened and the other half zeros in on the way your subtle hand motions. While he might not be anywhere near a cupid—and he would never be caught giving out relationship advice to mortals, which is something he couldn’t do even if he tried—he is still a being of immense power. From what he’s able to understand from your explanation, your loved one decided to part from you because they believed it just wasn’t working. And you, having been struck with an immense sadness, failed to call out to them to clear up any misunderstandings.

Eventually, after internally wrestling with his own thoughts and feelings, he asks, “Do you want me to teach them a lesson? Should you need them to feel the same amount of despair you’re feeling—”

“Oh, no! No. No. They don’t deserve to be punished for that. I understand now that our feelings weren’t the same. We really weren’t working and that’s okay. It just...hurts.”

Xiao tilts his head, an innocently childish show of confusion. “Where?”

“It’s not a physical pain, Xiao. I mean, it could be. But...this is more emotional.” Your hand reaches out, fingers wrapping around his wrist. He stares down at your hand and he almost pulls away. Before he can even consider what’s happening, you’re guiding his hand to where your heart is. “In here. It hurts now, but I’ll overcome it eventually. I’m used to it anyways...”

The straight-faced adeptus remains still as he feels the fast-paced beat of your heart. Mortals have always been weak in his eyes: feeble beings who break at the slightest inconvenience. Although you don’t seem close to shattering and that confuses him more than he’d like to admit. Perhaps you are one of the more resilient humans he’s come across in recent years. It’s strange when he feels your heartbeat, so very certain and alive with the sour feelings a heartbreak brings. He’s never understood that either. Heartbreaks and relationships. The differences between friendship and romance. Both can be seen through to the very end, if fostered healthily.

So then why are you so sad?

Truthfully, you’ve always seemed sad to Xiao. As an adeptus, he’s never been able to fully grasp the meaning behind human emotions. They’re insignificant in his eyes, mere flashes of feeling that can hurt and blind. They’re troublesome and useless—certainly not something he would ever want to experience. But those emotions can heal and bring cheer. They’re not all entirely bad, nor are they as evil as he seems to think they are.

Xiao realizes his hand has been on your chest for a while now and he’s been staring at you so much that you’ve begun to shrink away, partially embarrassed to have him analyze you with so much scrutiny.

“Is...something wrong?”

He shakes his head slowly at first before retracting his arm. And then he notices you’ve stopped crying. He’s not sure when this happened, but he’s oddly relieved to see your neutral expression. Somehow your crying face is painful and it wounds him in a way he never would have imagined.

“Thank you for listening to my rant. I know this is probably meaningless to you, since you’re an adeptus and all, but it really means a lot. So I’m glad I was able to get these things off my chest. I feel a lot lighter now.”

“You’re not sad?”

“Ah. Well...” Your gaze flickers, eyes darting to and fro while you struggle to look at him. “I’m still sad, but I’ll get over it! Don’t worry! I’m resilient!”

Xiao’s brow furrows in confusion. As he has thought plenty of times before, mortals are far too complex. Eventually he sighs and says, “It’s okay to cry. Don’t keep that inside, okay? You’ll just hurt yourself even more.” Now he’s avoiding your gaze and there’s a barely noticeable tinge of pink dusting his pale cheeks. He’s really not good at consoling humans.

“Oh, Xiao.” You pull him in for a hug and he stiffens, trying to squeeze out of your arms like a cat near water. But then he feels your fingers digging into his arm and he realizes that you might actually need this hug. Despite the fact that he’s not used to freely giving out hugs—or even cheering up mortals, for that matter—he is definitely out of his element. “Really, thank you. I promise to make you an Almond Tofu as thanks.”

“There’s no need for that.” Hesitantly, as if he’s worried he’ll break you, he wraps his arms around your form. “I’m just helping you because you called my name. That’s all.”

But that’s not the full truth. Hidden in those words is the real reason why he even bothered to stay despite the false alarm. And it worries Xiao when he thinks about the implications. He really does like you and this admiration has surpassed platonic love. As long as you’re okay, though, he’ll swallow his feelings in favor of making sure you’re always happy. It’s one of his duties as your friend.

Friend. A word Xiao never thought he’d ever use, but it feels nice. He likes it.

Yet The Distance Remains Harrowing.

[Scaramouche] 

To Mend a Broken Heart—

You’re spilling your emotional guts in front of the Sixth of the Fatui Harbingers, tears freely running down your cheeks like two faulty water faucets. It’s a pathetic sight, really. Scaramouche witnessed this exact show just a few weeks ago when you were so certain that that fisher was the one. Now, after meeting and getting together with someone else for a short time, you’ve come out of yet another relationship, unhappy and unsatisfied.

He’s jealous. There’s no denying the envy he feels when you talk so highly of these people and then wail about them a few days later. It’s a vicious cycle of mending a fragile heart and then breaking it into pieces all over again. With no end in sight, you fall victim to your own demise in the pursuit of love. He wonders if you’ll ever learn to choose your next partner carefully rather than settling for anything with a pulse.

“This is exactly what I said would happen, was it not?” he says with a sigh. “Oh, woe is you. If you were smarter, this last relationship might have lasted longer.”

“That’s rich coming from you. I’ve never seen you in a relationship before,” you mutter, wiping angrily at your eyes. His eyelid twitches at the not-so-subtle jab. “Ugh!I hate being so unlucky! This is the worst.”

“Rather than your foul luck, I think the problem lies within you and your taste in partners.”

Sniffling, you lower your head onto the table, hoping to just melt into the crafted wood before you end up making even more of a fool out of yourself. It’s rare to be in the company of Scaramouche, considering how often he’s assigned missions that require swift travel and a covert profile. But whenever you do find yourself sitting across from him, indulging in light snacks and tea, it’s always because you’ve lost your latest lover; and your own sadness requires the nullifying effects of Scaramouche’s cynicism.

“They’re good people! I just don’t know why it never works out. We’re happy and we both like each other—it doesn’t make any sense. Am I missing something? Is it my fault? They probably got tired of me because I’m not a good person.“

“Perhaps.” He takes a moment to sip his tea and you muster a weak glare. Only Scaramouche can delight in his beverage while you’re holding back another onslaught of tears. “Your crocodile tears are hardly flattering and your apparent need for consistent affection might come off as clingy. And you have a tendency to find flaws within yourself whenever something doesn’t go your way. Adding onto that, you doubt yourself a lot and you’re always quick to take the blame for things that are out of your control. In a way you are partially—”

“I get it. I’m not a good person.”

“I never said anything of that sort. Now you’re just asking for pity.”

Oh, how close you are to punching that smirk off of his face.

“Then since you seem to know everything, my oh so helpful friend, why don’t you tell me what I’m missing?”

“With pleasure.” His cup finds the surface of the table as he ponders your demand for a moment. “You’re missing someone who meshes well with your personality.”

“That’s not true. Everyone I’ve been with so far—“ His skeptical look makes you stop short. “Okay. Maybe we forced it because we thought it was love. But that’s besides the point! There was still an attraction! I think...” You huff and bury your face in your arms, nearly almost sprawling on the table. You’re too depressed to even consider how impolite your actions look, and Scaramouche scoffs at your poor display of manners. “Where am I even going to find someone who ‘meshes well with my personality,’ hm?”

“I’m sure you’ve already found them.” He clears his throat, tracing a finger along a sanded knot in the wooden table. “You’re sitting across from him.”

Whether he intended for you to hear that whispered part, you can’t say for sure. But your head perks up and you fix him with a lopsided grin. “You’re kidding.”

“Hm?”

“Me and you, a couple?” A small giggle escapes your lips and you swipe the remaining tears out of your eyes. “Don’t joke about that. I’m trying to be sad here!”

It wasn’t a joke, he almost says and he catches himself, suddenly self-conscious.

“I don’t think we’d work out,” you continue, motioning between you and him. “We’d hardly see each other and you don’t seem like the type for romance. Besides, I’m not attracted to you in that way. You feel the same, right?”

Scaramouche stares into his cup before he meets your gaze, a tight smile gracing his expression. “Of course. Your inability to settle isn’t all that attractive.”

Your eyes roll and you finally pick up your own cup to take a large gulp of lukewarm tea. The bitter Harbinger observes your actions with narrowed eyes. There’s a distinct pain that taps at his hardened soul, splitting it apart as your words echo within his spinning head. I don’t think we’d work out. I’m not attracted to you in that way. Why is he suddenly feeling...upset? He’s not one for pitiful emotions; he’s a Harbinger, not a lovesick fool! He ought to glare at you and storm off, demanding the two of you never speak again. But he won’t say that because he doesn’t want to hurt you. Because he cares for you. Because he loves you.

You feel the same, right?

No, that’s not right. This is the love he’s been wallowing in since he first got acquainted with you. It’s strange when he remembers every event that has led up to the blossoming feelings that reside deep in the epicenter of his heart, but it’s even more strange that he can’t find the courage to voice his own opinion.

“We wouldn’t mix,” he reaffirms your statement with a cold tone. There is no warmth in his eyes. “After all, your taste in tea is as bad as your taste in partners.”

And even though he wishes you could see through his walls—just this once he’ll allow you to tear them down for the sake of a half-baked confession—you just sit there and grin, no longer teary-eyed and forlorn. How odd. His heart feels far heavier than it’s ever been before. And you’re already scanning your surroundings, hungry for a love that will never keep you sated. Perhaps you weren’t even sad in the first place.

Upon realizing this, Scaramouche wants nothing more than to disappear into the wood like a feeble worm and never come back out.

You Must Break Another.

[yunkiwii]

—potions gone wrong—

☆ hogwarts au ☆

pairing: bsf!hyunjin x gn!reader | ft. jeongin and mentions of minho

supportive oc: angela, female

genre: sfw. comedic and chaotic, may be considered fluff by some people

wc: 2.4k

warnings: hints of jealousy, mentions of illegal (magical world wise) actions, potion-induced obsession

a/n: i'm pretty sure that in the harry potter series amortentia doesn't work the way i described here, but let's just ignore that shall we? ♡

summary: two boys decide to make a love potion to conquer the crush of one of them. unfortunately, something seems to have gone wrong and y/n needs to step in..

shout out to: ficscafe prompt dialogue event ♡

↳ "I'll give you 20 bucks if you kiss me."

↳ "I don't think that's legal, but we can work around it."

↳ "Shut up, this isn't a wattpad fanfic"

Completely imersed in the pile of books you gathered in the library in order to try and understand more about potions, you get startled when a boy throws himself into the chair next to you, a yellow stripped tie hitting your head in the process.

"I'll give you 20 bucks if you kiss me."

"What? No!", you give him a disgusted and confused look before digging your head into the old dusty pages again.

"Come on!! Angela keeps coming to me trying to snuggle and kiss me and-", as dramatic as he is, Hyunjin pretends he is going to be sick, exaggerating on the nasty sounds way too close to your ear.

"What? Why?", your bestfriend finally caught your full attention as you turn to face him, "Wait, Angela as in like, Angela your major crush perfect-Angela? Weren't you supposed to like, I don't know, enjoy the attention?" But then the face he makes, his cheeks turning shades of pink as his gaze drifts away from you and he sinks down in his chair in embarrassment, realization hits you, "No! No you did not! Are you like what, dumb?", you flick is head inducing a loud squeal to come out his mouth.

"It was Jeongin's idea!", his voice three pitches higher than before, "And I can't be that dumb if I managed to make that stupid love potion work. But that's beside the point, will you do it or not?"

"Do what? Kiss you? And how will that help you dimwit?", you went to flick his head again because, to be fair, he deserved it, but Hyunjin knew you too well and held your hand in time to stop you from hurting his pretty face, as he likes to state.

"To break the curse! Make her give up on me by making her think we're together or something!"

"What curse? There is no curse! And she isn't even thinking right now, she might just kill me out of jealousy!", at this point you're pratically yelling at each other and are forced to leave the library, resuming this odd conversation on your way to Ravenclaw's common room.

"I still can't believe you let yourself go with what Jeongin tells you. He's evil you know?"

"Should've guessed by the green scarf huh?", you slap his arm lightly, not very fond of the jokes made regarding the fact your other best friend is a Slytherin.

"So, how do I solve this?", he basically pleas at you as you sit down on the desk next to the fireplace, as far away as possible from your housemates. Every two in three students has made, or attempted to make, some sort of potion or spell to have something in their advantage. However, amortentia wasn't just "some potion", and if some were to find out that Hwang - head in space - Hyunjin succeded at his attempt they would never leave his poor ass alone, so for now your plan was to keep this subject as low-key as possible.

"Marry her." you say nonchalantly while, without his knowledge, already looking up all about amortentia, its possible side effects and how long it would take to wear off - if ever-, receiving a whine in return.

"It was really fun at first, you know? The flirting was cute, the smooches were great," and boy he put some emphasis on that adjective,"but now it's like she's obsessed with me! She's clingy and talks with that annoying voice and I can't seem to get rid of her!" Hyunjin throws himself face down into the old couch and whines again, words muffled by the pillow where he burried his face. "She's probably standing right outside the door just now!"

"Wait, what do you mean it was fun at first? How long has this been going on Hwang Hyunjin? And why am I only knowing of this now?", you turn around in your chair way too fast, hitting with your knee on the other chair next to you before facing the mop of brown hair all spread around the blue pillow.

"Well, I barely ever saw you all week!", the boy turns his head just the minimum amount to look at you, "You're either with your nose buried in those old books, or with your hands all over Lee Minho! Not my fault you no longer have time for your friends..."

"First of all," you pull out the pillow he's laying on, his face falling on the black cushion as a few curses leave his lips, "lower your tone! I did not spend the week with my hands all over Minho, I am tutoring him in potions!"

"Which you're not that good at, that's why you walk everywhere with those fat books..." Hyunjin rolls his eyes at you as he recovers the pillow from your hands again, "Don't deny it (y/n), you've got the hots for him!"

"Oh sweetie, I sense jealousy in your tone... is that why you gave Angela a poorly made potion?", you show him the page you've been reading between the backs and forths of your not so relevent argument, only for him to realize the potion should've worn off two days ago. Instead, it only got worse. "Perhaps you could use some reading too huh?"

The boy rips the book from your hands, grunting between his teeth sounds you doubted to be words as he makes his way out, only to shut the door as soon as he opens it, squealing loudly when his eyes meet the ones from the Gryffindor's brunette standing right in the middle of the hallway.

"I'm telling you (y/n), she won't leave me alone! It's like she's obsessed!", Hyunjin keeps his back against the door, afraid the girl could open it by some miracle driven by her potion induced feelings, hence she doesn't have the password.

"Well, you see Hyunjin... that's because she is! And it's your fault, you should simply face it..."

"Oh I'm going the kill Jeongin...", the boy grunts ignoring your words completely as the whines coming from the other side of the door overlapped them, "Can you go get him? Or get rid of her?"

You make your way to the door Hyunjin refuses to unblock and, when words and pushes didn't make the tall boy move, you had to resort to your wand, although the simple threat was more than enough for him to make way for you. He stayed hidden in the corner as you parted the door slightly to tell the girl her beloved had disapparated from there, and she should probably look at the quidditch court. The fact she believed you only proved how strongly she was affected by the potion, since everyone knew Hyunjin would never go to a sports court by his free will and disapparating into and out Hogwarts wasn't possible at all.

As soon as the path got clear you both made your way to the shrieking shack through the whomping willow everyone was so afraid of, but that was exactly why the three of you claimed it as your secret meeting place.

Jeongin was already waiting as you sent him a message through your magic notepad when you got rid of Angela, and you had to secure Hyunjin to not throw the book at the Slytherin boy who only laughed in return. The laughter didn't last long though, because you only stopped Hyunjin so you would be the one scolding the younger one, flicking his head the same way you did to the lover boy earlier.

"Hey! What did you do that for?", the boy frowned at you rubbing his forehead.

"To bring you back to reality, so you can both fix the mess you made!"

"But what's the problem?" Jeongin looked at you with honest confusion on his face, "Is this about the potion? You know that thing wears off in like a week or so right?"

"Exactly... do the math now genius..." Hyunjin rolls his eyes before leaning his back against the spiderweb covered walls.

The three of you spent the whole afternoon trying to figure out what went wrong in the first place, you analyzing every single detail of the procedure, and the boys trying to recreate every step they took to reach the final product. But, after hours of research and theories nothing seemed to have gone wrong, well except for the exaggerated and long-lasting effect of the potion.

"We should just obliviate the poor girl..." suggested Jeongin at one point, head in his hands as a sing of withdrawal.

“I don’t think that’s legal, but we can work around it...” You agree with him closing the book you were now reading for the fifth time.

"Are you guys serious? Because that sounds great! Can we get away with it?" Hyunjin's eyes were sparkling in hope as he shifted in his seat to a more straight up position, ready to do whatever it took to get to walk in peace around the school, without being unexpectedly smooched in the cheek and squezeed into a hug every time the girl spotted him.

"No, it's a joke!" You both sigh at your friend's desperation before calling it a day, deciding to resume your research first thing in the morning.

As per usual, you met with the boys for breakfast at the dining hall, though this time they weren't alone and you couldn't help out a giggle when Angela, as glued to Hyunjin as possible while feeding him something funny looking with a spoon, winked at you as soon as you sat in front of her and next to Jeongin. The latter looked almost as horrified as the pampered boy, and you had to focus to try and keep yourself from bursting into laughter before the scene that was unfolding in front of you.

Hyunjin looked like an annoyed pouty baby slumped in his chair - as an attempt to go unnoticed -, while the smiley girl, - one that seemed to have way too much energy in the morning -, pulled some strands of the boy's hair behind his ear before kissing his cheek, "You're so pretty Hyunnie-jin, and I hate to leave you," the girl pouts as she pinches his cheeks rather aggressively, "but don't worry sugarplum, I'll be waiting for you in the astronomy tower when you leave class." This time the kiss is aimed at his lips, but Hyunjin antecipates her intentions and dodges his head with a slick move, just not fast enough to be fully free of her, ending up with her lips awkwardly attached half to his jaw, half to the corner of his lip.

"So you decided to give in?" You couldn't help the grin that was forming on your face, finding it hilarious how the universe always had a way to keep things balanced.

"Shut up. I had to if I didn't want to starve myself, it was one sacrafice I was willing to take." Hyunjin furiously rubs his face with a napkin, as if it would erase the memory of the previous demonstration of affection.

"I say it's the karma, you were basically playing and manipulating her the moment you gave her the potion, now you face the consequences."

"It's like she's taking revenge..." Jeongin mumbles more to himself than to his friends, but he was still heard, and had now two pairs of eyes locked on him waiting for a further explanation to what seemed to be a pretty plausable theory. "We already concluded we didn't do anything wrong, right?"

"Yes, it's still hard to believe though..." you take a sip of your pumpking juice with a raise eybrow, honestly still impressed at how they pulled that off.

"So what if she got aware that Hyunjin gave-"

"We, Jeongin, we!! This wasn't just me okay? I just got the, uh, benefits?"

"Ok, sure, whatever... What if she became aware that we," emphasis on the pronoun as he glanced at Hyunjin, "gave her a potion and now that it wore off she is pulling this act as a pay back? Because, according to our lover boy, if it was nice at first then why would she suddenly start acting all obsessively?"

Both you and Hyunjin took a moment to reflect on this new theory, one Jeongin was really proud of as showed by his smug grin when he crossed his arms and relaxed back in his chair.

"I hate to admit it, but that makes a lot of sense... and explains why she winked at me when I got here..."

"Okay yes, she is faking it... why else would she wink at (y/n) when I'm the one she's supposed to be focused on?", the boy threw his arms up with a questionting - and slightly offended - look.

"Time for confrontation!" you were already standing up with Hyunjin following the lead, but you held yourselves back when you realized Jeongin wasn't moving, looking between the both of you still grinning.

"I've got a better idea..."

It was a terrible idea, you thought, and wanted no part in it at all so you let the boys discuss the details while you just sat there judging their poor life decisions.

The plan was for Hyunjin, instead of confronting her and get it over with as you suggested, to play along as if he too was deeply in love with her, and see who would break out of character first. As much as you tried to explain how childish and stupid the plan was, the boys simply wouldn't listen to you, convinced this was the best idea they've ever had.

Hyunjin got oddly excited about this and ran to astronomy class, already antecipating the act he would pull off when he'd see the girl waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs when he'd get out, leaving you and Jeongin alone in the dining all. The contrast of your opinions on this was pretty clear in your faces, Jeongin laughing loudly, you furrowing your brows and shaking your head in disapproval.

Then, all of a sudden, the boy stops laughing and looks at you, "What if they actually end up falling in love after all this?"

He sounded seriously concerned yet amused at the same time, while you only rolled your eyes at him before collecting your books and leaving for class as well.

"Shut up, this isn't a wattpad fanfic."

networks: @ficscafe @k-library @k-dinernet @districtninewriters

taglist: @dreamwrld @su-lix @bobateastay @leihey @serialee @hyunsluvv

⇢ let me know if you want to be added to the taglist ♡

[multifandomterrors]

The Orpheum Theory

This little essay is inspired by my own post and the additions made by sunsetnerve and norakeinwitz. Thanks for your additions to my little theory I loved reading them.

Now, I understand that at the end of the day, this is a kids show. It’s made for kids. However, the demographic didn’t really end up what they thought it was going to be. So this is just a theory I came up with because I think like a college student, so I analyze like a college student. At the end of the day, it’s a theory. Could be a reach for a kids show, but it’s a thematically sound theory when analyzed like a regular piece of art.

Julie and the Phantoms is full of hidden symbolism and many different motifs. The motif we will be discussing today is: The Orpheum Theater.

As we know, the Orpheum is a huge component of the show and the big climax revolves around the Phantoms being able to play “the show they never got to play.” At first glance, it’s just a theater where musicians play. Well, your friendly neighborhood creative writing major is here to show you otherwise.

First, let’s talk about motifs and symbols for those who are unaware of the difference.

Symbols - signify an idea or emotion e.g. red stands for blood

Motifs - a recurring element or idea that repeats throughout a piece of work e.g. stairs in Bong Joon Ho’s Parasite.

A motif is a symbol, but a symbol is not necessarily a motif.

The biggest motif present in JATP is the use of butterflies but that’s a different discussion for a different post.

Another motif that may go unnoticed is the Orpheum Theater.

This venue is mentioned multiple times throughout the season and is the climax of the show. Let’s talk symbolism.

If it were any other theater, I would’ve just went “Nah they just want to play the show of course, it’s their dream.” However, what stuck with me was how the Orpheum is presented in JATP. (It looks nothing like the actual Orpheum Theater in LA by the way).

The theater is tiny. It looks like it could have a capacity of 50 people. 75 if we’re being generous. This begs the question, why this Orpheum? Why not the Roxy? The Dolby Theater? The Greek? Why specifically this tiny venue? Why not aim for a larger theater?

Next, we have to look at its name. Orpheum. Does it look familiar?

Orpheum means “House of Orpheus.” As in the Orpheus of Orpheus and Eurydice. For those of you who are not into Greek mythology and stories or if you just haven’t heard of the musical, Hadestown, let me give you a (very) brief rundown of the story.

Orpheus is a musician who is in love with Eurydice. Eurydice dies a tragic death and finds her way to the Underworld to be with Hades, god of the dead. Orpheus, understandably, is heartbroken by this. So he finds a way to travel to find Eurydice and Hades. He strikes a deal with Hades. If he could lead Eurydice out of the Underworld, she’ll live again. The catch? Orpheus cannot turn around. He just has to trust that she’s following him. In the end, Orpheus doubts himself at the last second (like literally “maybe a few feet away from the exit” last second) and turns around. Eurydice was actually following him the whole time, but he failed. She stays dead.

Now let’s discuss parallels.

Julie = Orpheus

talented musician

in love with a person who died tragically

desperate to save them

Luke = Eurydice

dead

trapped by a person who controls the dead

Caleb = Hades

controls the dead

Caleb owns the souls of the people in the Hollywood Ghost Club

Hades is the god of the dead

therefore, Hollywood Ghost Club = Underworld

Now this is where I explain how this parallel and motif play into the show with my own original theory and the modified theories due to the additions of sunsetnerve and norakeinwitz. Again, thanks for reblogging with them!

Theory 1

We’re aware of the parallels. We’re aware of the original story and how season 1 played out. Originally, I felt as if this motif would play out further into the show. I felt as if this were the foundation of a bigger fight between JATP and Caleb. Eventually, Julie would have to try and save Luke from the HGC and Caleb and ultimately fail (because I love angst but I will throw in some “kids show” magic and say that Luke is fine in the end). But let’s go with a happier ending.

Theory 2

This was brought to my attention by sunsetnerve. In her reblog, the Orpheum theory made its run through the first season only. This also makes sense, taking into account the scene with You Got Nothing to Lose. This is when Caleb takes hold of Luke and the other Phantoms. Julie brings them back (somehow) for Stand Tall. Here is where JATP will diverge from the original Greek story. Orpheus fails. Julie succeeds. If you’re an Harry Potter fan, think of it like that old Tumblr post that describes how Harry and his friends were parallels of James and his friends, only they were better and they learned from the past. Julie is Orpheus, the difference is that she knows better. Now we introduce the lyrical genius of the songwriters.

Let’s take another look at the Orpheus and Eurydice summary. In order to save Eurydice, Orpheus cannot turn around.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at the lyrics to Stand Tall.

“Cause everything is rushing in fast

Keep on going, never look back.”

Julie sings a line about not turning around. Once again, Julie is Orpheus, she just knows better.

She thinks she can help free them from Caleb. Julie already thinks that she’s lost the Phantoms. Orpheus thinks he can help free Eurydice from Hades. He refuses to believe he’s lost her. Julie is at peace, Orpheus is not.

Julie performs at the Orpheum even though she thinks it’s too late. She doesn’t hesitate. And when she was tested and she doubted, she did not let it overtake her. Orpheus was tested and he was consumed by the paranoia.

Julie kept going. She didn’t turn around.

Orpheus stopped. He turned around.

The result? Julie saves the Phantoms from Caleb. Orpheus loses Eurydice to Hades.

Julie wins.

Theory 3

This was presented to me by norakeinwitz who noticed the Orpheus connection too. They added on to both mine and sunsetnerve’s points. Except they played more towards the idea that despite the fact Julie knows better, Julie is still Orpheus. She can’t help it.

Julie performs. She doesn’t stop. She erases her doubt. The Phantoms perform at the Orpheum.

Julie doesn’t turn around then. She turns around later.

At the end of the day, Julie is still Orpheus.

She goes back to the studio anyway. She turns around to look at them one more time.

Now here are my thoughts about this.

Julie turns around, but not for the same reasons as Orpheus.

Orpheus let doubt into his mind. All he had to do was trust that Eurydice was following him. He was tested, he panicked, he looked back. He turned around before the tunnel ended because he was afraid that she was gone.

Julie erased her doubt. She didn’t let it in. She pressed forward even with the idea that she’s never seeing them again. She was tested, she panicked, she didn’t look back…yet. She looked back after she left the Orpheum and went straight to the studio instead of going straight to bed. She turned around after the tunnel ended because she made peace with the fact that they were gone.

Orpheus turned around because he was clinging to fear. Julie turned around because she let go of fear.

She made peace with death. As a result, she saved the Phantoms.

Orpheus was angered by death. As a result, he lost Eurydice.

Julie is Orpheus, but Orpheus is not Julie.

They follow the same path, but Julie made it to the end.

[madara-fate]

I feel that people base Sasuke's relationships with people, especially Sakura, on whether or not he 'liked' them during his lowest point. One of the most crucial parts of his development was learning how to acknowledge and respect other people. After that point, he was able to understand that their feelings and wants had value and that's what helped him get closer and love them.

It does seem like most people who ship Sasuke with someone try very hard to prove that Sasuke liked or cared about them specifically during his darkest time, as if that will be proof that he loves them, usually romantically. (He was definitely getting to the point of acknowledgment before he left the village, but we know what happened after that.)

I notice that this argument is used A LOT by SNS shippers who are simultaneously Anti-SS. As if Sasuke saying Naruto is his best friend is the only thing that matters and not him just being able to see other people for what they are and as equal to him and then forming even greater bonds now that he does acknowledge them and is aware of the sins he committed.

On another note, I really don't understand these desperate attempts from people trying so hard to find little moments that somehow prove Sasuke loves a character, especially during Shippuden. I feel like the story was pretty clear, and has stated numerous times, that Sasuke had trouble acknowledging other people and he needed that one friend to help him get out of it. Just because it was Naruto doesn't mean it was for romantic reasons. Iruka was the person who helped Naruto, and Naruto helped Gaara, but these are not romantic, so I don't see why Sasuke and Naruto absolutely had to be.

But yeah, Sasuke and Sakura definitely do make sense because he acknowledged her and her feelings and was able to form a relationship and that's really as simple as it needs to be. There really doesn't have to be a deeper meaning or hidden things to validate the relationship. Just the story itself is very open and clear about everything, so I don't see why people over analyze every interaction Sasuke has with people, as if they'll find something different.

Yeah I agree. I guess a lot of the problem stems from how many people can't acknowledge the fact that romantic relationships don't always have to be at the pinnacle of narrative importance.

[keepalivebollywood]

Unraveling the Emotions: A Deep Dive into Bollywood’s Heartbreak Anthems

Welcome to a melodious journey through the heart-wrenching realms of Bollywood’s soul-stirring ballads! Brace yourself as we embark on an enchanting expedition into the world of emotions and unravel the hidden depths behind Bollywood’s heartbreak anthems. From tear-soaked lyrics to haunting melodies, these songs have been etching themselves into our souls for decades, capturing the essence of human pain like no other. So grab your tissues and prepare to dive deep into a sea of love lost, as we decode the magic that lies within these timeless classics.

Introduction to Bollywood Heartbreak Anthems

When it comes to heartbreak, Bollywood knows how to capture all the feels. From the initial pain of betrayal to the eventual acceptance of moving on, every stage of a breakup is soundtracked by some of the most memorable songs in Hindi cinema. Join us as we take a deep dive into the emotions of heartbreak with some of Bollywood’s most iconic breakup anthems.

From Lata Mangeshkar’s “Tere Bina Jindegi Se koi ” to Alka Yagnik’s “Tujhe Yaad Na Meri Aayi”, there are plenty of timeless classics that perfectly capture the heartache and pain of a broken relationship. But there are also more recent hits like Arijit Singh’s “Hamari Adhuri Kahani ” and Shreya Ghoshal’s “Sunn Raha Hai Na Tu” that have become instant breakup anthems in their own right. No matter what your taste in music is, there’s sure to be a Bollywood heartbreak anthem that resonates with you.

So put on your headphones, pour yourself a glass of wine, and let these songs help you through whatever stage of heartbreak you’re currently going through. We promise, you’re not alone.

Exploring the Different Emotions Reflected in Bollywood Songs

There’s something about a heartbreak anthem that just gets us. They make us feel seen, understood, and most importantly, not alone. From the eternal classics to more modern hits, Bollywood has always had a way of speaking to our hearts and reflecting the different emotions we experience when going through a break-up.

Whether it’s the pain of unrequited love, the feeling of betrayal, or simply the sadness that comes with saying goodbye, there’s a Bollywood song for every type of heartbreak. And while they might not always offer up the best advice on how to deal with a break-up, they definitely give us comfort in knowing that we’re not alone in our feelings.

So, next time you’re feeling down about a break-up, put on one of these songs and let yourself feel all the feels. Trust us, it’ll make you feel better.

Analyzing the Lyrics of Popular Heartbreak Anthems

When it comes to heartbreak anthems, there are few things more cathartic than belting out a tune with all your might. Whether you’re wallowing in your sorrows or trying to move on, these songs always seem to hit the spot. But what is it about these popular tunes that make them so relatable?

Let’s take a look at the lyrics of some of Bollywood’s most popular heartbreak anthems and see what we can learn about the emotions involved in a break-up.

“Tum Hi Ho” by Arijit Singh

This song is all about the pain of losing someone you love. The lyrics talk about how the singer is struggling to get through each day without their loved one by their side. There is a sense of desperation and hopelessness in the singer’s voice as they try to hold on to any memories they have of their time together.

“Tum Hi Ho” Translation: Only You Are There, In My Heart I am trying, every day, without you living each moment, for you (only for you) my heart beats.. only for you.. my life is only for you..

“Tum Hi Ho” Lyrics Meaning: The lyrics of this song are quite self-explanatory. The singer is pining for their lost love and trying to find ways to cope with their absence. The chorus talks about how the singer would be nothing

Examining How Music Influences Our Emotional Health

In India, film music is an integral part of the movie-watching experience. The songs often play a pivotal role in furthering the plot and driving the emotions of the characters on screen. And while we may not always be conscious of it, the music in these films often has a profound impact on our own emotions as well.

For many of us, Bollywood heartbreak anthems have become the soundtrack to our own personal breakups and heartaches. These songs perfectly capture the pain and anguish of a broken heart, and they can often help us to process and deal with our own emotions

Interestingly, research has shown that listening to sad music can actually be beneficial for our emotional health. Studies have found that listening to sad music can lead to increased feelings of empathy and compassion, as well as decreased levels of anxiety and depression.

So next time you’re feeling down about a break-up or any other sadness in your life, don’t be afraid to crank up those Bollywood heartbreak anthems. They just might be exactly what you need to help you feel better.

Cultural Impact of Bollywood Heartbreak Anthems

The cultural impact of Bollywood heartbreak anthems is profound. For generations, these songs have been a source of comfort for those going through a tough break-up. They capture the pain and longing that comes with lost love, and offer a cathartic release for listeners.

These songs have also had a significant influence on Indian popular culture. They are often referenced in films and TV shows, and have become part of the country’s collective consciousness. Even those who don’t speak Hindi can sing along to these classics.

So why do we keep coming back to these songs when our hearts are broken? Perhaps it’s because they offer a sense of solidarity – we’re not alone in our pain. Or maybe it’s because they’re just so darn catchy! Whatever the reason, there’s no denying the power of a good Bollywood heartbreak anthem.

Understanding the Role of Music in Healing a Broken Heart

It is said that music has the power to heal a broken heart. And while this may be true for some, it is not always the case. There are many factors that contribute to the healing process, and music is just one of them. While it can be a helpful tool, it is not always the panacea that people make it out to be.

There are many different types of music, and each one can have a different effect on the listener. Some music is uplifting and empowering, while others are sad and melancholic. The type of music that you choose to listen to after a break-up should be based on your own personal preference and what makes you feel better.

For some people, listening to sad songs after a break-up can actually make them feel worse. If this is the case for you, then it’s best to avoid these types of songs altogether. Instead, focus on finding music that makes you feel good and helps you to remember the happy times in your relationship.

There is no right or wrong way to heal a broken heart. Everyone copes with break-ups differently, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what works best for you. If listening to music helps you to cope with your break-up, then go ahead and do it. But if it doesn’t, don’t force yourself to listen to it. Instead, focus on finding other ways to heal and move forward with your life.

The Top 10 Heartbroken Bollywood Songs That Tug at Your Emotions”

“Tadap Tadap Ke” – Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (1999) “Channa Mereya” – Ae Dil Hai Mushkil (2016) “Kabira” – Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (2013) “Ae Dil Hai Mushkil” – Ae Dil Hai Mushkil (2016) “Tum Hi Ho” – Aashiqui 2 (2013) “Dil De Diya Hai” – Masti (2004) “Phir Bhi Tumko Chaahungi” – Half Girlfriend (2017) “Tum Bin Jiya Jaye Kaise” – Tumbin(2001) “Baaton Ko Teri” – All Is Well (2015) “Dard Dilo Ke Kam Ho Jate” – The Xpose (2014)

These songs beautifully portray the pain, longing, and vulnerability experienced in matters of the heart, making them unforgettable heartbreak anthems in Bollywood.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Bollywood music has a special power to evoke all kinds of emotions with its heartbreak anthems. From joyous dance numbers to melancholic ballads, these songs have the ability to bring us back in time and remind us of our own experiences with love lost and lessons learned. While every song carries a unique message, they all share one thing in common—they help us come to terms with the pain that comes from breaking up or being hurt by someone we care about. So next time you feel down and out after a messy break-up, don’t forget there’s always some beautiful Bollywood tunes waiting for you!

[milliedazzledust]

War Rages On: part 2 (Bucky Barnes imagine)

Words: 3234

A/N: Still don’t know where I’m going with this story but I’m really having fun writing this and I hope you’ll like it! Don’t forget to tell me if you want to be tag for the next parts :)

Previously: part 1

Steve had found Bucky deep in the forest of Wakanda. Escorted by the kind T’Challa, he led him to the man they called the White Wolf. He had found his redemption away from mankind. Surrounded by trees and animals, Y/N and him had lived a simple life inside their cottage up until that moment. Before this, Steve had no intention to bring them back. He had planned to come visit the couple but most importantly to let them have their happy ending, to keep them from monsters that had tried so many times to tore them apart. He couldn’t imagine two people more deserving of peace than them. The King of Wakanda had outdone himself to make sure this was achievable.

“Do you remember the last time you saw her ?” Steve asked him.

Bucky sat on a rock near a river, hastily ruffling his hair.

“She left a couple days ago” He recounted. “She had a message from Stark on the burner phone you gave her”

“What did it say ?”

“Need your help asap - Romanoff compromised. An address was attached”

He got worried when he saw Steve dropping his head and rubbing his eyes in frustration. He had known him long enough to guess something was bothering him.

“Buck’, Tony didn’t send anything.” The Soldier confessed.

“What do you mean ?”

The familiar sensation of anxiety started to form in the pit of his stomach despite the lack of information. He knew he wouldn’t like what he was about to hear.

“I don’t know what happened, but somebody pretending to be him wrote that message”

“That’s impossible” He shook his head, refusing to believe him.

“Buck’ ..”

“She left, Steve. She left to go help him” He vehemently cut him. He stood up and started pacing. His friend could see his whole demeanor slowly shifting. “If she’s not with Stark, then where is she ?!”

“I don’t know” The Captain replied. Admitting it to his friend was almost too painful.

“Have you talk to the others ? Do they know anything ?”

He was looking more and more like a madman. His body had already understood what his mind failed to grasp.

“She send Sam an SOS”

“What ?” He said it in a whisper, instantaneously freezing on the spot.

“Bucky, I’m sorry but she’s missing”

“She can’t be” He felt the panic beginning to creep into his chest.

He turned back to look at his friend.

“That’s not … She said she’d be back” He explained, as if it would make perfect sense that she couldn’t be gone, as if that promise had been enough to keep her safe “.. She … She always comes back to me”

He dropped on the floor, the captain barely had enough time to catch him. His breathing became more rapid, more shallow. He felt it hit him like a hurricane. There was a logical explanation, but the only one he could think of was worst than any nightmare.

“Steve if it’s …” He suddenly sounded alarmed.

“It might not be” The Captain answered. He didn’t know which one of them he was trying to convince the most.

“Who else ?”

His friend stayed silent. His mind couldn’t wrapped around the fact that this could be happening, that they were potentially facing another threat.

“They’re still after me” The Sergeant muttered. “It’d make sense”

“Even if it’s Hydra, we’ll still find her” Steve promised.

“What if it’s too late ?” Bucky dared to think about that possibility, his eyes drifting into space.

“It’s not”

The soldier put a comforting hand on the Sergeant’s shoulder. When he glanced up at him, he saw the reassurance he so desperately needed. He knew this look by heart, he had seen it so many time on Steve’s face growing up. He had that same determination every time he went on to fight someone twice his size, the confidence and fierceness that had built Captain America.

“C’mon, get up.” He ordered with force. “We’re gonna find her”

He silently followed him, his mind running a mile an hour. He couldn’t remember a time he had felt so vulnerable. The mere thought of her somewhere with Hydra was enough to reopen his deepest wounds. He knew what they were capable of, he had lived through the endless torture for years and to picture a fraction of it being done on her was too much.

Steve had taken him to a jet. After several hours of flight, they had landed in a location he didn’t recognize. The place looked like headquarters, abandoned in the middle of nowhere. They were surrounded by large trees. When they walked out of the plane, Bucky recognized the distinct sent of mint and pine mixed together. He glanced around, trying to find a clue as to where they were, but all he could see was the woods. No other indication.

“What is this place ?” He asked Steve as they walk inside the building.

Before his friend could answer he heard another voice speaking, the sound resonating on the walls.

“Secure location not far from Warsaw, outside of the radars”

Bucky didn’t hide his surprise when he found himself face to face with Tony Stark. The billionaire saw him tense, his body instinctively going into defense mode.

“At ease, soldier” He sighed. “We’re not here to fight”

Still he didn’t ushered a word and looked back and forth between the two men in front of him.  After what had happened between them before he found shelter in Wakanda, he wasn’t sure how to behave around Stark.

“Have you find anything ?” Steve inquired, folding his hands behind his back.

“Sam checked the address you sent me” Stark started to explain. “We were about to take a look at the security footage”

He guided the soldiers to a room that seemed like it had been restored at the last minute. There was a violent contrast between the dust on the floor, the half broken chairs and the high-tech computers Tony had most likely installed. It definitely looked like a hideout. He first noticed Natasha Romanoff leaning on the large table at the center of the room. She was studying a file. Next to her was Sam Wilson, scrolling on a tablet he was holding with intense concentration.

Steve greeted both of them with a simple nod and Bucky noticed the side looks he was being given but chose to not acknowledge them. Stark started to type on his computer and the enormous screen he had placed on one of the wall turned itself on.  

“Here’s what we know so far” Tony told them.

Bucky recognized a screenshot of the message sent to Y/N on the burner phone, the very same one he was carrying in his pocket.

“I was not able to trace the id or the location”

As he spoke, Stark watched the Sergeant from the corner of his eyes taking a sit on a half torn armchair.

“But whomever send this was pretending to be me”

“How were they able to get her number ? Only you and I are supposed to have that information” Steve interrogated.

“I’m getting there, Captain.” Tony answered. “Somebody infiltrated my system and discreetly hijacked it to get into classified data”

The Sergeant suddenly raised his head and with a flick of the fingers, Stark projected details of his firewall system on the screen.

“They left a trail. Sloppy work if you ask me”

“Get to the point, Tony” Natasha reminded him.

The man rolled his eyes before continuing his explanations.

“They searched through every files I have on Barnes. What they were looking for exactly? I don’t know, but I have a vague idea”

“My location” Bucky whispered.

“Bingo. They were after you, and when they realized I was smart enough not to put any compromising informations, they moved to plan B”

“What’s plan B ?” Sam severely asked.

“If you can’t find the Winter Soldier, then let him find you.” Stark directly offered the hypothesis.

“They’re using Y/N as leverage” Steve finally understood.

“Exactly”

Bucky rubbed his eyes in frustration. This was looking more and more like Hydra’s modus operandi.

“Who is they ?” Romanoff questioned.

“I might have an answer to that” Sam replied, waving his tablet. “I found something on the security footage”

A video without sound started playing and instantly Bucky stood up. His eyes traveling from one corner of the screen to the other, he was closely studying every movement. Whomever was doing this had smartly brought the woman in the middle of the city and away from any camera that could incriminate them.

“Y/N is waiting in the corner of the street, then this man approaches her. She takes a step back, probably figured out something was wrong.” The Falcon explained. “All we can see is her reaching for her phone behind her back, which we know now was to send an SOS”

“Any identification on the guy ?” Natasha inquired.

“No. He stayed hidden from the cameras. He knew exactly where they were”

“Why didn’t she attack ?” Tony pondered. “She could have taken him easily”

“Busy street” Bucky answered mechanically. “If you want somebody to comply, lure them in the middle of a crowd. One move and someone else die. Works all the time”

“Of course you’d know about that” The billionaire muttered under his breath.

Steve hadn’t talk yet. His eyes were glued to the screen. Something wasn’t adding up and he didn’t know what. He watched the video playing four times, his hands on his hips, deep in concentration.

“Rewind it” He ordered Sam.

The man didn’t question the request and did as he was told. Shape after shape the Captain analyzed every detail until the information he was missing was right in front of him.

“Stop there”

The video froze and they stared at the frame, trying to figure out what he was seeing.

“What is it, Steve ?” The Russian spy inquired.

“Can you zoom in ?” He asked, ignoring the first question.

Tony took the tablet in his hand and started to play with it.

“What am I looking for ?”

“His neck” He simply said. “He has a tattoo”

His friend raised an eyebrow in surprise, but got to work. Typing on his keyboard, he cut the video’s frame, zoomed in and used a program to polish the picture and create a clear image of the ink on the man’s body.

As soon as Bucky saw it, he felt a cold shiver running down his spine. What he feared the most had only been theoretical until then, there was still a slight hope he was wrong, a one percent chance he was holding onto that he wasn’t living his worst nightmare. And all that came crashing down when he recognized the pattern of a skull he knew by heart.

“No..No, no, no, no” He kept repeating, pacing around the room, panic striking in his veins. “This is not happening, this is not…”

The Captain stopped him in his track, putting his hands on his shoulders.

“Buck’ ..”

“They have her, Steve. They have Y/N” He was terrified, and his friend could clearly hear it in his voice.

The others were following their interaction, not yet understanding what was happening. Steve raised his head, still holding his brother emotionally breaking apart, and looked at them with an alarmed expression that did nothing to ease their worry.

“We had our suspicion on who might have pulled up something like this » He told them. « Frankly, I was hoping we were wrong”

“Who is it ?” Romanoff demanded.

“…Hydra” Bucky murmured, his head low and his human hand shaking.

They all tensed in the room and the silence that followed was frightening.

“Are you sure ?” The Falcon asked.

Steve stared at the projecting image on the wall, pursing his lips.

“Yes, Sam. It’s them” He answered with a heavy voice filled with concern.

Bucky felt the tears on his cheeks before he realized he was crying. His breathing had become unsteady and he was slowly faltering. He quickly excused himself and left the building. He needed the air.

He was trying so hard not to panic but he seemed paralyzed. There was suddenly a menacing aura around him, holding him in a tightening grip. He could feel his temperature rising, a clear sign of his anxiety, his fear. It was a living force creeping over him like a hungry beast, fed by the agonizing possibility he might lose her. He started to take shaky small breath, like Y/N had taught him every time he had a panic attack, but without her to guide him, it was useless. His pulse was beating in his ears, blocking all the other sounds, and he was sweating. There was a lump in his throat, an emotion so large it was aching to be released. He wanted to scream, to punch something, to beg for mercy. Alas, he closed his eyes, trying to focus his senses on one thing only, find her.

And just as the thought crossed his mind, he felt the tiny device he had in his pocket vibrate. He took his phone out, but nothing was displayed on the screen. Then he realized it wasn’t the right one. Fishing in his pants, he found was he was looking for and grabbed the burner phone. One message. When he opened it, the color quickly drained from his face.

« She won’t stay alive for long, unless you come home. Not Romania, not Brooklyn, your real home. No Avenger. You know the consequences of disobedience »

Attached to it was a photo. His heart stopped and his metal fist clenched the phone so hard he accidentally broke it when he saw the picture of the woman he loved, arms chained on a ceiling, body dangling in the air and covered in blood. He absently stared at his hands, thinking back to their time in Wakanda, in peace, away from the world. Just the two of them. What a difference a couple of days could make. He knew what he wanted to do. There was not an ounce of hesitation in him, only the desire to make sure she would make it out of there alive.

So engrossed in his own thoughts, he didn’t hear someone creeping in behind him. Natasha silently stood next to him. Was it out of pity or emotional support, he couldn’t tell. She observed him for a moment, furrowing her eyebrows like she was trying to read him, before she turned back to look at the sky.

“You know where she is”

It wasn’t a question but a statement.

“What makes you say that ?”

“Two fossils from the 1930’s with the same instinct of preservation and the same tendencies to make stupid decisions based on emotions. Not exactly hard to put two and two together. You and Steve have a lot in common”

He pursed his lips.

“Are you gonna tell them ?” He asked, looking back at the abandoned building.

“Still debating.” She admitted. “You’re not really stupid, Barnes. You know you can’t take them all by yourself”

“That wasn’t my intention”

“Then what’s your plan ?”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t need to, she could see it in his whole demeanor. It was in the way he stood up straight, in the way he was clenching his jaw, in the way his eyes held so much determination and purpose.

“You don’t intend on coming back, do you ?”

“I can’t let them kill her” He explained.

“A suicide mission is by far the most stupid idea you could come up with”

“It’s the only one I’ve got” He replied, resigned.

He turned to look at her. The calmness he was displaying was enough to know he had made up his mind and honestly, it frightened her.

“I don’t think you know how much she means to me, Natasha. I don’t deserve her love, I really don’t, but somehow she saw something worth fighting for in me. She saw all the cracks, all the flaws and all the mistakes I’ve made and she didn’t run. She stood by my side and fought for me. She’s my sanity. She’s all the good that’s left in me. She’s the name I whisper when I’m scared my memories are fading. I can’t take the risk to lose her because if that happens, I’ll lose myself and there will be no come back this time”

The lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything more and he gulped, trying to make the feeling of anxiety subside.

“Whatever it takes, and whatever I’ll have to do, I swear she will get out of there alive” He nodded to no one in particular, a silent and simple sign he would not change his mind.

“At what cost ? What are we suppose to tell her when you won’t be here anymore ?”

“That I fought for her the same way she did for me”

His response shut her up. His voice held so much serenity and resolve she knew it would be useless to argue. She understood where he was coming from, just like she understood the sacrifice he was ready to make.

“There’s a version of this where we win, Barnes. Keep that in mind. It doesn’t have to end in pain or worse. Fight with everything you’ve got and don’t stop until both of you are safe”

He sadly smiled.

“You’ve definitely spent too much time with Steve”

She rolled her eyes before turning to stand in front of him. She hesitated a moment, words on the tip of her tongue.

“I’m sorry this is happening” She gloomily confessed. “But you know why they want you, right ?”

“The Winter Soldier” He replied, closing his eyes. “They want him back”

“Just so we’re clear here, Bucky, and just in case, you have to be aware that the moment you’ll get there, they will torture you to get him back. Your mind is already damaged, you won’t hold long”

“I just need to hold long enough to get her out of there” He vehemently assured her, gritting his teeth.

“Your plan is to walk out with her” She reminded him, insisting on the words.

He glanced down at her and judging by the look in his eyes, she knew what he was about to ask her before he even spoke.

“If it comes to the worse, if I become … him again …” He started.

“I know” She cut him. He didn’t need to say the word, she knew thinking about it was already more than enough pain for him.

She stood there, watched him get into the jet him and Steve had taken to get there, and did nothing. It was useless to try to convince him to stay, he was too stubborn to listen. And she knew this was his best shot at getting back the woman he loved alive. She was aware Hydra would not spare the lovers and she prayed they were ready for the fight that was ahead of them. The Avengers would find them eventually, hopefully before it was too late. She turned around when she saw the jet flying in the air and walked silently back inside the building. She would keep that conversation and the promise she had made a secret, and hope whatever Bucky had planned, it would be enough to prevent the worse from happening.

Tag list: @briannareneea985​ - @bangtanxberm​  - @kissmyoops - @steve-is-daddy​

[gaycrouton]

Fox Mulder’s Senior Thesis

Scully reads Mulder's thesis to get even since he read hers, but she wasn't expecting just how much autobiographical insight she would gain into her new partner.

5k - MSR

Ao3 Link Here

Scully felt the indignant burn of embarrassment on her cheeks every time she thought about those words coming out of Mulder's mouth. "Einstein's Twin Paradox, A New Interpretation. Dana Scully Senior Thesis. Now that's a credential, rewriting Einstein." Worst of all, he said he'd actually read it. She didn't know him well enough to be able to tell if he truly liked it, but regardless, the fact he'd looked at it embarrassed her. She was a certified medical doctor, she'd written plenty of articles she was genuinely proud of over the years, yet Mulder had chosen to read her undergraduate thesis from the University of Maryland. She was only 22 when she wrote it, and she was pretty sure coffee and sleep deprivation contributed more to the final product than she did.

When she got home after that first day of work, the words still danced around her head "I read it. I liked it." Out of curiosity, she went through some old boxes to find a copy she knew she'd hidden away with a bunch of other college knicknacks, and just as she'd expected, it was full of errors and the misplaced arrogance of youth. The knowledge that Mulder had read it and formed an impression of her based on these old musings made her uncomfortable, and an irrational part of her wished she could go back in time and make it better.

It wasn't like it was an invasion of privacy, but to read her writing from years ago felt like a level of intimacy she wasn't ready to share with a near-stranger.

It had been a few months since he'd mentioned it, and they'd been working together just fine, but the thought that he'd seen this small side of her, Dana-the-co-ed who wanted to impress her professor so badly that she tried to rewrite Einstein, nagged at the back of her mind. Did he read her vulnerability, the way her words begged for her professor's praise? Could he read the pride she'd felt at the time for having taken on something so advantageous? Did he ever consider how forward that was, how off-putting to have one's thesis dug up from the grave?

But she knew that was exactly why he'd done it. Mulder wanted to make her uncomfortable. Not her exactly, but the new partner assigned to invade his space. She wasn't the profiler, but she knew he did it as a defense mechanism. Mulder had done it in front of her a few times now: if he acted as spooky as people thought he was, they would make fun of the caricature of himself he was playing, not the real, vulnerable Mulder.

Scully wondered if the thesis had any part in endearing herself to him, or did he look at it through a lens of judgement, finding every flaw and analyzing what he'd use to tease the new partner coming down to see him.

"I read it. I liked it."

It was one of the many times she'd started to spiral while thinking of how he thought of her. The spirals were usually brought upon anytime he ditched her during a case or when he investigated something on his own. A nagging feeling would grow in her abdomen that asked "Why doesn't he trust me fully?" And she would think back to that embarrassing insight he had into her. A few times she considered sending some of her other work, some of what she was more proud of to him, before ultimately realizing that he'd probably seen the titles and gone with the one that intrigued him most. The one he was probably most ready to laugh at, her brain would supplement.

Then she decided it would only be fair to read his.

She'd read his monograph on serial killers and the occult as part of her profiling training at the academy, but she knew there was probably an embarrassing thesis floating out there somewhere.

After the seed of an idea was planted in her mind, the roots started to overgrow all rational thought. She was fueled by a curiosity of what Oxford educated psychologist Fox Mulder sounded like in his early twenties. He was a bit arrogant now, though it wasn't repulsive in him like she found that quality to be in most men, but arrogant nonetheless. She could only imagine what a 22 year-old version of him sounded like.

Scully wondered what that must've been like, what the look on his advisor's face was when he inevitably postulated some intergalactic theory. Or did he choose a more mammalian creature to examine? Perhaps little grey men were too extreme, and he scaled it back to the cultural differences between Bigfoot, the chupacabra, and a yeti.

Luckily for her, she had a friend in the archival department who was able to locate his thesis for her with the payment of a coffee. It was dropped on her desk in an inconspicuous manila envelope, and she was able to sneak it into her purse before Mulder had a chance to notice.

Scully waited until she was home before tearing into it. It was about 60-pages, a nice length for a bachelor's thesis. She'd prepared for the event with a glass of wine and some snacks. A highlighter and some pencils were scattered around her in preparation for her night of learning more about her enigmatic partner. Despite the frivolity of it, she felt her heart thrumming in her chest, excited to meet this Mulder even if she intended to make jokes at his expense tomorrow to his older self.

She smiled to herself as she tried to have a last minute guess at what phenomena he'd focus on before a gasp tore from her lips at the reality.

Shared Grief and Repression: An examination of the psychological long-term impact of parental invalidation regarding familial trauma on childhood development

Fox Mulder - Senior Thesis

Oxford University

May 15th, 1983

Scully felt numb with the implications of this, but she couldn't help her curiosity. She read the entire thing in one night, unable to put it down. She barely knew Mulder well enough to distinguish if there was an autobiographical hurt child ghost-writing these hypotheses or if it was mere speculation, Mulder being desperate to understand himself. For all she knew this could have been a result of Mulder assisting a professor in their own research, the ties to his own past merely coincidental. Somewhere in her soul, she knew that despite her hesitance to admit it, she'd just learned far more about Mulder through this than he had learned about her through her nonsensical ramblings about Einstein.

What she did know, unquestionably, was that she would never tell him. That night she placed his thesis on top of hers, and hid their past selves in a box deep in her closet. She couldn't bring herself to throw his words out, so she would just have to live with them.

She didn't have Mulder's eidetic memory, but lines of his thesis stood out to her with the same clarity in which he'd recited hers. She never called upon them, they just came like a bolt of lightning that left a charred mark in its wake. It was as if she was the scientist observing if his hypotheses were true while Mulder acted as the living case study.

1993

"Adults who lacked comfort in their youth are prone to seek human connection out through other, non-conventional means, (Jenkins, 1945)."

While part of her acknowledged this was Mulder's office, the other part of her knew this was also the official office of the X-Files, of which she was an equal part. She hadn't felt this way since the last time she moved into one of her boyfriend's apartments. A few sweaters left in the closet, food in the fridge that was only for her, messages for her left on the answering machine - things that accumulated slowly until she decided it would be stupid to re-sign the lease at her own place.

That was effectively what she'd done here. She noticed that two women from the financial crimes unit were being forced to share a space, and, being she couldn't remember the last time she was in her own office, she decided to give it to one of them. Now, despite the fact Mulder was the only name on a placard outside and she was still trying to elbow space for herself on the other side of his desk, this was her office now too.

The space heater at their feet was hers, she'd brought a plant that was thriving in the annex of the office, she'd even managed to put a TV Guide clipping about Alf amongst all his other ones to see how long it would take him to notice. Even though those small things made her feel more 'at home,' she still wanted to claim a little more space for herself.

One day she decided to arrive before him, a box of her office supplies in hand, and take over one of the drawers of his desk. Just one - for now.

Scully plopped down in his chair, amazed at how much larger the indent he'd created was than her diminutive frame. With a sigh, she decided he'd probably be less inclined to be irritated if she took one of the bottom drawers. Pulling one out, she had to suppress a gasp of surprise.

She'd caught him reading nudie mags before, claiming they were for the abduction stories in the feedback sections, but this was… a lot.

Snowed in! Plowed out!

Shared Space (And a tight one at that!)

Years of Waiting, Big Explosion!

The titles made her grimace, but they weren't as bad as some she'd seen in her brothers' room growing up. The VHS tapes were lined up in the drawer in alphabetic order and their neon titles stuck out brightly to her. Pausing to listen for the sound of the elevator, she grabbed the one labeled Years of Waiting.

The summary on the back alluded to a couple who'd been in love for years finally consummating their shared attraction. It was surprisingly less crude than she'd anticipated. She picked up the one with space in the title and saw it was about two friends who had to share a room together while on vacation, and after a while, they can't keep their hands off each other.

She felt a furrow in her brow in confusion. These tapes all had similar descriptions to the dimestore paperback romance novels she'd buy from time to time. It seemed the story was just as important as the sex itself. One of them even had a cover of two people cupping the other's face as they leaned in for a kiss. Of course, the photo on the back was a naked sexual position that made her back hurt, but it overall wasn't as crude as she'd anticipated.

Mulder was into softcore, oddly sweet pornography?

She wasn't quite sure what to do with that information before she heard a ding come from down the hall. Scully quickly stuffed the VHS in her hands back in the drawer without looking, and instead moved to the bottom drawer on the other side of the desk. She was relieved to see it was some of his spare clothes and she dumped them on his desk before relocating her stuff into the drawer.

1994

"Children mimic what they see demonstrated in front of them (Smith, 1975). When a traumatic event occurs and parents cope without any outward displays of emotion, the child learns the expectation is that emotions are hidden. A potential development due to this is that the child understands how negatively invalidation felt, so they try to overcompensate when offering comfort to others, appearing unrelenting in their efforts to provide the comfort as the act itself is a comfort for them as well."

She stood there sobbing into his arms until she felt numb, soothed by the way his hands rubbed circles into her back as he whispered "You're alright. You're alright," into her hair, as if to assure himself as much as her.

The flash and subsequent whir of a crime scene camera made her jump and Mulder tightened his grip on her. "Can we have a minute?" he snapped, his voice coming out so harsh and stern compared to how he'd just talked to her.

She turned her head and saw they were in a room with at least ten other law enforcement officers - all with varying levels of pitiful expressions on their faces as they couldn't help but look at the embracing FBI agents.

Embarrassment flooded her and she withdrew her arms from around Mulder, bringing them together near her abdomen as she tried to take a step away. Mulder looked down at her in worry, cupping the side of her head with his hand. "Scully, don't push yourself," he lamented.

Scully shook her head and brought her hands shakily to the back of her neck, suddenly feeling choked by the table runner that had been used as a gag.

"Ma'am, we need to take a picture before yo-."

"I think we have enough evidence, don't you?" Mulder snapped, stepping forward in front of her like he was about to fight anyone who so much as looked at her.

She felt the crime scene analyst take a step away as they apologized to Mulder, but Scully was too busy fumbling with the tie at the back of her neck. She was starting to feel like she couldn't breathe and she was worried she was somehow tightening it. "Mulder?" she gasped.

Scully instantaneously felt his hands cover hers as he deftly untied the fabric, throwing it on the ground before brushing her hair back to make sure she was okay. "Breathe," he whispered, pulling her back to him so he could rub her shoulders.

"I'm fine," she whispered, her eyes focusing on the portrait of a Pfaster that was hung on the wall next to them.

Mulder stepped in front of it, replacing her line of vision with himself instead. "Please don't shut me out, Scully," he pleaded, his brows furrowed in concern. Mulder had comforted her a few times before in the past, but usually it was just a word or two of affirmation. Right now, he felt like he was the sole thing keeping her from drowning.

She glanced around and met the eyes of several people who instinctively looked away. "What do you need, Scully?" he prompted.

Scully looked back at him and noticed that he looked like he was going to combust if he couldn't do something to help her. She could pretend she didn't want his help tomorrow, for tonight, she'd allow them this symbiotic comfort. "I need to leave," she whispered.

"Will you let me take you to the hospital?" he asked.

She nodded once in response and that was all he needed. Without conferring with anyone else, he wrapped his arm around her and took her away from this nightmare.

1995

"Parents in these situations often do not realize the damage they are causing, nor are they actively trying to cause harm. Familial trauma effects all involved and, more often than not, the inattentiveness to the child's feelings is a result of parents being unable to handle their own."

Scully thought when she finally met Teena Mulder that a vital piece to the Mulder-puzzle would fall into place. She'd imagined a witch of a woman devoid of smile lines and with a tongue that could cut like a razor. The jagged-edged puzzle piece that would shift and create the perfect match to the soft edges of her partner who carried a burden from childhood that drove his every move.

Instead, she was met with a rosy cheeked woman who looked at her son's grave like she was contemplating if there was room for two.

It wasn't the piece she anticipated, but the puzzle shifted into place nonetheless, and she saw why Mulder could never admonish his parents while Scully had held so much resentment. Mulder was the sweetest man she knew. He could never find a place in his heart to resent a childless mother, even if she did have a child right next to her waiting to be loved.

Scully couldn't imagine the pain of losing a child, but she could empathize with this woman's pain at losing Mulder, even if only temporarily. Deciding it would be appropriate to go and talk to Mrs. Mulder now that the service was over, she steeled herself to tell the woman a sentiment she must have wanted to hear for decades.

"Your child is still alive."

Just not the one she was used to mourning.

1996

"Some children deal with internalized guilt because of the event. If parents or healthcare professionals neglect to discuss the event candidly to the child, this can cause them to believe they have done something wrong and that is the cause of the omission. When a memory of the event is triggered and the subject is reminded of the event, this can send them into a depressive state because of their guilt."

Mulder was contemplating dealing with Roche. She knew it without him telling her, not that he was saying much of anything in the first place. He hadn't been himself since this all started. No - he was being himself, and that's what was so painful about this all. Scully could see the guilt written all over his face, a guilt and a sense of responsibility so strong that her normally affable, goofy partner who always had something to say was resorting to one word responses and pensive stares. She was seeing the twelve year old little boy who blamed himself for his sister's disappearance, and it took everything in her not to bring him into her arms and tell him it wasn't his fault.

She wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to erase the look on his face when he dug into the dirt of the forest with his bare hands, the desperation in his voice when he said "Help me, Scully." She was still deeply touched that when he was faced with the potential of finally finding his sister, he asked for her help. It sounded animalistic coming from his mouth, like his very soul was begging her. It felt like such a private moment, she was certain this was a part of Mulder he never showed anyone.

Finding out the truth about Samantha was the core being of his mission, his life's work, and being this close to the potential truth had left him bare like exposed nerves so oversensitized that he was numb. She'd never seen him so withdrawn and it killed her.

After they met with Roche and he'd teased Mulder, yet again, she drove him home. As grateful as she was he'd accepted, she was worried that he hadn't even refused in the first place.

"Mulder?" she tried, looking at him as they hit another red light.

He was staring at the dashboard as if the answers to his problems would manifest in front of him. Mulder didn't seem to hear her, so she tried again. "Mulder?"

"Hmm?" he hummed in response. If she hadn't heard it, she wouldn't have believed the sound even came from him as he didn't even slightly move. It was like a Mulder deep inside this shell answered, though his mouth couldn't form the words.

She put her hand on his shoulder, her thumb touching the exposed skin of his neck. He blinked and she took that as him acknowledging her. "Mulder, I'm worried about you," she whispered.

He finally turned to look at her and she saw exhaustion painting his features. "I have to know, Scully," he sighed, looking through her.

"He's using you, Mulder," she lamented, desperate to appeal to the part of him that begged for her help in the woods. The part that knew she was there for him, even if that meant telling him what he didn't want to hear.

Mulder shrugged lightly before turning to look ahead. "Probably," he sighed, resigned. He sounded used to this, used to being disheartened.

"I-" she started before a car honked behind her, making her hand shoot back to the wheel. They were only a block from his place, and he was getting out of the car before she had a chance to try talking to him again.

"Do you want me to come up with you?" she offered, reaching for her seatbelt.

He shook his head as he put his hand on the frame of the door. "I just need to think," he murmured, his eyes refusing to meet hers.

"Please, try to get some sleep, Mulder," she pleaded, only for the words to reach the interior of a closed car door.

1997

"Adults who have gone through this experience may find forming attachments difficult. It is not that they are emotionally stunted, but they've been primed through the childhood trauma to question if showing their authentic emotions is appropriate or not since they never received emotional validation. This desire to appear stoic is a defense mechanism that may seem like callousness, indifference, or flippancy in those around them. Because of this, when they do form bonds, they may be perceived as overbearing or clingy to the person they are close to."

She awoke to the sight of her own vigil taking place.

At first the only thing she was able to piece together was that the top of her hand was warm and wet. Then she smelled Mulder's hair and realized he was crying against her hand. For a moment she almost considered turning her hand so that her palm could press against his cheek - anything to comfort the man mourning the loss of his best friend.

"I'm still here," she wanted to say, but her throat clenched and her eyes burned as Mulder's choked sobs reiterated what they both knew: "For now."

She knew she meant a lot to him, but she never imagined herself being the person he bowed his head to in silent prayer.

1998

"These children may exhibit a pattern into adulthood of accepting behaviors and attitudes that others would refuse to put up with. As they are less likely to have positive self-worth, they may see themselves as deserving treatment that reaffirms these negative ideologies of self."

Mulder smirked. Fowley said they were allowed to investigate the X-Files as an indulgence, making Mulder seem like a child being pacified to keep busy to a room full of their peers, but since she said she held interest in his work, he smirked.

Now Mulder was talking to Skinner in his office while everyone else was told to step out into the hall. Most people in the room were content with going on a small walk, stretching their legs, but two people were left in the anteroom of the office poised in an awkward stand-off as they waited for Mulder to emerge.

His partner and his chickadee.

Scully sucked on her top teeth in annoyance as she glanced at Diana, watching as the woman appeared unfazed at the situation. Scully wished Arlene was here - anything to distract from the metronome of her aggravation.

Indulgence.

Chickadee.

Indulgence.

Chickadee.

The Gunmen hadn't explained why they broke up, seemingly shocked they did in the first place, and somewhere deep in Scully's soul she knew it was Diana's doing.

Was that why Mulder acted like that around her? Desperate to get some sort of validation, despite the fact this woman seemed to treat him poorly. Protectiveness flared up in Scully's chest and it threatened to choke her. At least, she wanted to blame it all on protectiveness. Acknowledging the part of herself that felt the bitter sting of indignation as she was condemned for wanting to make sure they were taken seriously while Fowley got a smirk for belittling their work.

"Things got a little heated in there. Didn't they?" Fowley called out, her voice sounding calm and collected as ever.

"I'd say so," Scully bit in response, sounding quite the opposite.

The door swung open and Mulder stepped out, looking around the room at the two women before telling Agent Fowley that Skinner was calling the Attorney General now.

Another smirk.

1999

"Because of childhood trauma, it may be harder for these individuals to let people in. They may be honest about their trauma, but when it comes to letting people see the intimate details of their life, they might be shrouded in mystery (Evans, 1969). Traumatized individuals will only share personal information with people they believe will not hurt them."

The young boy had to go home after thirty minutes of loading balls for them to hit, but Mulder didn't seem to be ready to call it quits yet - and, to be honest, neither was she. It was so rare that they got to spend time together that didn't involve a case. Even rarer was time spent together with so much levity.

Mulder paid the boy some extra money before picking up two mitts that were lying by the machine. "Here," he yelled before throwing one to her.

She caught the worn leather in both hands with a laugh that caused Mulder to smile. "What're we doing?" she asked, instinctively putting her hand in the oversized glove.

"Ever play catch, Scully," he replied, throwing a ball at her.

"I was never invited," she called out, shifting her feet against the sand underneath her to feel how it shifted. "You're my first."

"Mm," he hummed lewdly, causing her to blush at the way she phrased that.

"Underhand can be easier for amateurs," he replied before throwing the ball at her lightly from a few yards away.

Scully caught the ball in the mitt, smiling when he praised her. Then, mimicking him, she threw it overhand to him.

Mulder lifted his arm and caught it with a small jump. He looked at her with raised brows and a boyish grin that made the sensations she'd felt with him behind her stir back up in her abdomen. "You husslin' me, Scully?" he replied, tossing the ball at her with a little more speed.

She caught it with ease and shrugged. "What can I say? I learned from the best," she teased before throwing it back.

Teased. Scully didn't do that often, but she was starting to think maybe she should based on the way his lips curved up shyly. He'd been teasing and gently flirting with her since she met him. She was starting to see the appeal.

"I hope I didn't ruin any evening plans," he replied, throwing it at her.

It was always expected for Mulder to make himself sound like an inconvenience. Even after she just spent thirty minutes giggling in his arms and 'accidentally' moving her body against him in ways that she was sure to revisit when her hand was in her underwear, he still managed to convince himself he was a burden.

"I haven't had fun like this in a long time," she replied, bending to catch a lowball. "Besides, you let me listen to my music on the last road trip even though you didn't like it just because you wanted to hear what I like. I like learning what you like too," she replied sweetly, throwing it back to him with more speed.

Mulder smiled, playing with the ball in his hand before joking, "I just think Alanis Morissette needs to date better guys."

"Like you?" She didn't say it outloud, but she thought it. She jumped to catch a high ball he threw at her, causing him to burst out laughing.

"I'm serious though, Mulder. I like learning more about you," she replied.

Mulder ran to the side a bit to catch the toss before smiling shyly. "I want to learn more about you too."

She caught his next throw as she contemplated her next words. Deciding to take a page out of his book and be bold tonight, she asked, "I think… I think it would be fun if we spent more time together. Maybe we could have movie nights at each other's place or something?"

A smile erupted on Mulder's face before the ball hit him square in the nose - too distracted to catch what she'd hurled at him.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry," she chuckled sympathetically, running over to him and putting her gloved hand on his shoulder.

"I'd love that," he replied, his nose as pink as his cheeks.

2000

"It is not until the individual manages to come to terms with the familial trauma that healing may take place."

She never imagined what she might feel like in this moment because she never thought it would come. A potential romantic relationship with Mulder seemed like it was slowly migrating from the periphery into the foreground, and she was starting to come to terms with the idea that she may forever share the foreground spot of Mulder's sight with the memory of a little girl.

He said he was free, and he'd never looked more so. She had been worried after Harold Piller took off, but Mulder seemed nonplussed, just staring into the sky as if he was looking at an old friend, a small smile of acknowledgement on his lips. "Are you sure you're okay, Mulder?" she asked, reaching out and entwining her fingers in his.

He turned to her and, to her surprise, placed a kiss to the top of her forehead. She looked up at him with wide eyes and saw he was looking at her in adoration, as if nothing existed in this moment except her.

"Let's go home, Scully," he murmured, brushing a tendril of hair behind her ear.

2000

"Adults dealing with residual trauma crave the emotional validation they did not receive as a child. Words of affirmation, consensual physical touch, and other forms of direct reassurance help the traumatized adult feel more self-assured with how they are being perceived."

This one comes to her, like most of these recollections of his thesis do, in the most random of moments. She was standing in his kitchen, wearing his shirt that acts as a dress on her, while she watched him make breakfast. For background noise, he just pressed play on the VCR and the Caddyshack tape from last night started playing over again. Maybe now she'll find out how it ends.

She'd been so desperate to know more about him during that time years ago when she'd read his thesis, that any line she read seemingly became permanently filed away in the Mulder folder of her brain. So now, as she stood here taking in all the new information about him that she was newly privy to - his inability to whistle despite his valiant efforts, the fact he can crack an egg with one hand despite having seemingly basic culinary skills, how he often takes moments to look at her as if he wants to make sure she's still here - the process of filing away the new information caused that little tidbit from seven years ago to leak out.

Deciding to test 22 year old Mulder's hypothesis, she walked over to him with her bare feet padding along the tiles of his floor, and wrapped her arms around his waist so that her chest was flush to his bare back.

"Is this about to be a culinary version of that scene from Ghost?" he asked, his muscles moving as he flipped a pancake over.

"I like being here," she murmured shyly, her words sounding weird from her cheek being smooshed against his back.

It felt weird, but not horribly so. They didn't communicate verbally all that well, it wasn't their thing, but if little moments like these held a chance of letting Mulder know how she felt, then she could overcome her own hang ups. It was a lot easier than mustering the courage to say the three words they already knew.

She felt Mulder's back twist, as if trying to look at her, before he turned back, likely not wanting to dislodge her. "I-I like you being here too," he stammered. While he also was clearly unused to this type of openness, the upward lilt of his inflection told her she'd made him happy.

She liked it.

Squeezing him once tightly, she added, "I'm glad I get to spend the day with you." They were sentiments so PG and mundane that she'd probably even said them to her mother before, but within this special context of her and Mulder's relationship - it felt like a huge step.

"If I knew making you breakfast would have gotten this reaction I would have done it years ago," he joked, though his words were laden with sincerity. She felt him pause for a moment before timidly moving one hand to rest on top of hers.

She smiled into his back and pressed a gentle kiss against warm flesh as Mulder's own version of those three words wrapped around her heart.

[gentrychild]

Suspected Traitor Izuku Ideas

Note: Sorry this ended up being super long! I just really love the idea and wanted to put in some ideas of what I think could happen. It was all too long to fit into a couple asks, and I figured you would prefer a submission than 7+ asks in a row. These are also just some fun ideas I was thinking of for the au I thought you might enjoy lol

- - - -

Izuku gets interrogated and at first goes along with the questions. He doesn’t realize why he is there at first, until they ask more and more questions showing they suspect him for something. After the second or third question about his relation to the LOV he pieces it together. They think he’s a villain.

And instead of having a confused smile or nervous laugh, his eyes widen and he whispers “you think I’m the traitor.” It wasn’t hard for him to figure it out, after all he spent so much time analyzing and trying to deduct things quickly from situations where he barely was given any information, and they practically threw the answer in his face. He was probably one of the few students who was fully aware that there was a traitor from looking at the previous attacks.

He starts to shut down after realizing this, and when people start yelling or slamming things out of anger (because no one was actually going to get physical, but that doesn’t mean the rest of the room was off limits) he unconsciously reverts back to his old habits from when he was quirkless.

This can include, but is not limited to:

- A smaller frame to protect vitals and give less room to be hit

- A quite and passive voice to try appeasing their anger

- Distracting himself from the emotional pain by focusing on the physical stuff. Mentally keeping track over where everyone is, what they are doing, and how much of a threat they are to him

- Looking for any and all possible exits, even the ones that would result in him being hurt on his way out, just in case things get worse (and he fears that they may hurt him worse than before. In a world full of quirks, it’s easy for someone worked up to forget how easily they can kill someone, and Izuku probably has experienced more than once a situation that became life or death because a middle schooler was too worked up to process how much damage they were about to do)

- Eyes downcast due to fearing that eye contact would seem like he’s defying them or trying to irritate them in purpose (thanks Bakugou for that one)

- Holding back sudden movements or flinching, when going to the point of possibly hurting himself on purpose to prevent him from acting out.

- Holding his breath every time someone moves, but forcing his body to relax/tense up in case they attack him. When your body tenses up, it can absorb him impact, but can also cause other things like knives or needles to hurt more when they cut/go through the skin. So when there is someone who has a weapon visible (probably a means of intimidation) he quickly figures out which way will hurt less and forces himself to go through with that because of the constant thought of ‘just in case’

- Forcing himself not to cry or break down. That’s what some bullies want, but sometimes it also makes them even more upset. It gives them fuel, and always ends bad for the victim.

The teachers and others accusing him of being the traitor takes these signs as him lying or trying to hide the truth, those who don’t think it’s because he’s lying see the 'experience with interrogations’ aka trauma reactions and think he was trained by the villains to act this way. No one thinks about the fact that some of the reactions are clearly not helpful with interrogations and that the villains would train him to do the opposite (ex: stay calm and keep eye contact. You don’t have anything to hide and looking away makes it seem like you do).

The only two people who know his past refuse to acknowledge or bring it up.

All might doesn’t because he can’t risk the consequences of OFA getting out, but also because he only has a vague idea because of when he was shoeless himself.

Bakugou refuses to acknowledge the signs and the relapsing to his habits from middle school.

No one else realizes the cause, and as a result they accidentally reopen the trauma that Izuku hadn’t healed from. No, he had taken it and stuffed it into a box to avoid acknowledging that he was hurt. So he never talked to anyone about it, and as a result it just festered in his mind. His intrusive thoughts from all the victim-blaming he went through never went away (because let’s be honest, gaslighting and victim-blaming are things he probably went through as a result of the bullying. He couldn’t help being quirkless, but the bullies will latch onto anything and everything they can. And because they wanted to prevent themselves from having anything marked, if they made him think it was his fault then they felt it lowered the chances of them being reported)

During the pause of interrogation when they are having Tsukachi enter and he’s about to come in, he almost send himself into a dissociative/depressive episode because of his thoughts. He forces it back when the doors click open, thinking 'no, it’s just like before. No matter how much it hurts, wait until you’re safe. You’re not safe here, they will use it against you, so you have to wait until you’re alone and safe to finally break down.’

As a result, none of the adults fully realize how broken he is after the trap/interrogation is over. But its only a glimpse that they see, and nothing more. Because Izuku’s learned that weakness = vulnerable = targeted and hurt.

And now that he knows almost all his friends- no, his classmates were involved he knows he can’t break down anywhere near them. He can’t go over and let them know how broken he is or he thinks they’ll turn against him even more.

Someone brings up the 'logical’ aespect of the interrogation and their suspicions before he leaves and Izuku’s thoughts use that and forces it against him. 'It was only logical. Everyone was convinced you were going to hurt them, that you were evil. Of course they had to do it.’ He repeats it like a mantra in his head. 'It’s only logical, they did what they had to, and it’s almost over. You’re almost done, it was just the logical thing to do.’

And why is it this that he repeats this, instead of being angry or upset?

The victim-blaming.

His own intrusive thoughts were fuelled by the victim-blaming, and because it was what hurt the most, it was also what he was most accustomed to.

But when he finally gets back to the dorms, to the 'safety’ of his room, he knows he can’t break down. Not yet. After all, if they went through all that trouble because they thought he was the traitor, who’s to say they didn’t do more? His resurfaced paranoia/anxiety from the trauma makes him search his room for hidden cameras and microphones, desperate for at least one safe-space.

He finds nothing, thank god, but then he keeps pushing back his breakdown in search of exits, ways to avoid the most dangerous people or most likely to turn on him, ways to get by unseen and to avoid any situations that would be like Middle school. He stays up making notes and maps of the school and how to best protect himself because 'You’re already used to this. Shouldn’t have expected anything different. Stupid, idiotic, Deku. You put off finding the saferoutes because you thought it would be better to try playing nice. Look where that got you, now you have to stay up and make up the months of ignoring the inevitable.’

He doesn’t sleep that night, and when it becomes time for class he still hadn’t given himself time to break down. So he returns, but doesn’t pretend to be friends with any of his classmates anymore. He uses the ways he maps, brings out old tactics, just with the hope of making it through the day without being hurt or breaking down.

Lunch comes, but he doesn’t eat. He goes to the roof, finds an elevated area with no cameras and where people are unlikely to see him and sits down. It takes a moment, just a mere second of sitting there alone before he breaks.

He cries and let’s his regret and anger wash over him. All the feelings he had been pushing back finally breaking free and coming loose. He doesn’t eat, he never got the time, and right as he is starting to realize how badly hurt he really is, the bell rings signalling he needed to get to class. So he forces himself up, pushed all his emotions away, and tries to clean himself up in the bathroom.

He ends up in a dissociative state the rest of the way back to class, and when the others ask why he’s acting different or 'weird’, he doesn’t respond. He barely registers anything the rest of the day and when teachers try calling on him, hoping for some kind of reaction, they get nothing. He doesn’t process that he’s being talked to and just sits there dissociating in a desperate attempt of forcing himself not to break down again.

When classes end, the others try talking to him but eventually give up. He slowly realizes after everyone left that he was alone and he picks up his stuff and walks to the dorms on autopilot. He gets to his room and shut the door, and finally let’s himself finish the breakdown from on the roof. This time, though, he finally lets himself cry over everything. The entire past of abuse and neglect from his peers and adult figures in his life (minus his mom), the suicide-baiting, the victim-blaming, the bullying, accusations and mistrust, all of it. And he finally fully, truly breaks.

- - - -

[prismatales]

Dad

Part 3 of Endeavor with a quirkless child.

(Manga spoilers)

What if instead of Natsuo it's Reader who gets kidnapped and taken hostage? Is her relationship with her father getting better? only one way to find out!

Part 1 - Part 2

Warning: Tw:death, Tw:Near death experiences, Tw:physical violence, Angst.

Screams of horror came out from a hospital room, a nurse and a doctor were quick to rush inside in order to calm down the terrified woman. A young girl was sitting against the wall outside of the room, face hidden behind her knees as she hugged them closer to her shaking body, her brother and sister did the best they could in order to comfort her and calm the sadness growing inside of her, neither of them knew about the dark thoughts crossing her mind.

That same night she stood in front of the bathroom mirror looking at her reflection with a stare filled with misery and utter disgust, long silky red hair down to her waist, she couldn't look at it without thinking of the terrified look on her mother's face the moment she walked inside her hospital room. Lifeless eyes looking at her reflection as she grabbed a portion of her locks with shaky hands and a pair of scissors, slowly starting to do small nips before picking up the pace and starting to cut desperately, small sobs and whimpers resonated through the bathroom walls as she left the floor covered in a mass of red hair, the steam from the hot shower covering the mirror in a thick layer of moisture....

Your hand wiped at the steam covering the mirror in the dorm's bathroom, a look of doubt adorned your face at the sight of the reflection, it was...strange to look at it for a minute, no longer having blonde on the ends of your hair was odd, specially now with your hair once again sporting only the natural red color. Damps locks sticking to your face from the shower. It took a few months for your hair to grow just enough to get rid of the dyed parts, was it worth it? You didn't know yet.

On the way back to your room a few classmates turned their heads to stare in your direction, many of them actually complimented the new look, making you look down at the floor with a small blush.

As soon as you stepped inside the bedroom the sound of a ringtone went off, it was coming from your phone as it laid on the bedside table near the bed, picking up the device showed there was an incoming call from Fuyumi, sliding a finger into the screen and putting her on speaker before answering the call while sitting on the bed.

"Hey sis, what's up?"

Fuyumi's voice was full of excitement as she answered, she seemed happy about something.

"(Y/N)! Shoto's bringing his friends for dinner, Natsuo and Dad are going to be here as well, and I was wondering if you'd like to come too! Maybe you could ask the school to let you visit?"

You stayed silent for a few seconds, unsure of what to answer her, the idea of dinner with almost the whole family and Shoto's friends sounded like a recipe for disaster, but it would probably break Fuyumi's heart if you declined the invitation.

"(Y/N)? Are you there?" Her voice snapped you out of the trail of thoughts, nearly making you dropping the phone in surprise with a yelp escaping while you juggled with the device to avoid dropping it.

"Gah! Sorry sis! got distracted for a minute! I'll try to be there! Should I bring something?"

"Great! I'll let everyone know you're coming! and maybe you could bring out some dessert? That cake from last time was delicious! ah! gotta go! I have the stove on!"

The call ended with the sound of Fuyumi running off, making you chuckle at her enthusiasm while checking out the time, there was still plenty to get dressed and go pick something for dessert. You quickly dialed the cafe's number to order something, followed by getting changed into a white sweater, a pair of denim shorts with black leggings and brown ankle boots before picking up a purple winter coat from the closet, leaving the dorms with a relaxed rhythm on your steps.

It was a good thing the cafe wasn't that far from UA, it was right between the school and home. The little bell at the door made a noise once you came in, the owners sending a big smile and a wave from their spot, with a bright smile you waved back at them before paying for the order and running home quickly but carefully as not to ruin the dessert, utterly unaware of the people watching you from afar, one from a street alley and another one watching from the roof of a building...both of them with opposite motives altogether...

......

Standing outside the abode you carefully pulled out your phone to text Fuyumi and ask her to open the door, the paper box cautiously balanced in the other hand in order to avoid dropping the cake, the door slid open but instead of Fuyumi it was Natsuo who came into view.

"oh! (Y/N)! you made iiiiii..." he went silent for a minute before staring, taking in the sight of your new look which made you fidget nervously for a bit, mouth twisting into a nervous smile.

"Is everything okay? Natsuo?" He snapped out of his thoughts before smiling. "yeah! everything's fine! your hair look nice!" He stepped back to give you the chance to come in, handing him the box before taking off your coat.

"So how's everything back in college?" he just laughed dryly with a dead look on his eyes "...just let me die already" the both of you laughed before entering the kitchen where Fuyumi was already getting some last touches done for dinner, the amount of food she made was almost exaggerated, but still, with all the people coming for dinner it would probably be more than plenty for everyone.

"Hey sis~" Fuyumi quickly turned around with a bright smile on her face that quickly morphed to surprise when she took a good look at you, before she could say anything you interrupted her, pulling up the paper box in front of her. "Before you too say anything about my hair, we should put this in the fridge, and don't let Shoto see it, he might end up eating the whole thing instead of dinner" you laughed, remembering the time Shoto went to your dorm just to steal the chocolate cake you bought to celebrate the end of the costume presentation project with the whole support class, he was banned from the support dorms for three months. Both siblings laughed as the three of you talked for a bit waiting for the others to arrive.

While you and Natsuo were setting up the table a knock was heard and Fuyumi quickly went to get the door, the moment she left the kitchen Natsuo's face became sour, making you raise an eyebrow in confusion before walking out of the kitchen with a handful of plates.

"Oh, is Natsuo here too?" You heard Shoto ask, as well as his friends talking.

"we wanted to get to know you guys, we're Shoto's family after all!"

There was a bit more chatter as everyone walked in, Shoto, Midoriya and Bakugo stood there with Fuyumi as they saw you bringing everything for dinner.

"(Y/N)...?" Shoto couldn't help asking, when he saw the boots at the door he thought they were fuyumi's shoes, he was not expecting you as well.

You gave them a sheepish smile and a small wave once the last plate was on the table. "Hi guys, heard you were working hard with Father, keep up the good job! I bet it's tough to be working alongside the Number 1 hero!" Shoto stared at you for a few seconds before he realized something.

"Wait...if you're here then that means..." you recognized that look and quickly grabbed a pair of chopsticks to point them at him in a threatening manner.

"Shoto Todoroki, Don't.You.Dare."

But it was too late, he was already running off to the kitchen.

"Get back here you freaking--" your slipper caught onto something, making you fall backwards while Shoto's friends and Fuyumi screamed. You closed your eyes expecting the hard floor to collide painfully with your back...not a pair of hands grabbing you from behind before you could hit the floor.

Looking up you were greeted by your father's stare, for some reason he seemed...strange, the was doubt in his eyes, like he was thinking hard about something important.

"You need to be more careful of your surroundings, next time don't run inside the house" he pulled you up to help you stand before letting go softly.

"R-right, thanks Daaaaaaaat wassomequickactingfromyou!" you were quick to step away from him, a dark blush completely covering your whole face at the realization of what you almost called him "Natsuo!! Don't let Shoto near the fridge!" you quickly ran to the kitchen nearly slipping AGAIN and leaving everyone in the living room dumbfounded by your attitude.

"What just happened?" Midoriya was clearly confused, you've never acted like that when Shoto invited you to hang out with them. Enji however was left silent by his daughter's attitude, he was quick to realize what you almost said to him, which made his thoughts wander even more for a solution...

A few minutes later everyone was already having dinner. You sat to Natsuo's left and in front of Shoto as far away from your father as possible, there was still a small trace of pink on your face from earlier, but nobody said anything else about it.

"Don't force yourself to eat anything you don't want to, alright?" Fuyumi was so happy by the fact everyone was enjoying their food, and it was hilarious to hear Midoriya analyzing his food while Bakugo complained about it.

"Well, Of course" Natsuo's tone was cold "Ever since out housemaid threw out her back and retired, Fuyumi has been taking care of the cooking"

Midoriya just smiled sightly "I see"

"Give yourself some credit, Natsuo! we take turns, don't we?" Fuyumi was trying to lighten the mood, but you knew Natsuo better than her, after all he was the one you took after the most....after Touya of course....

"Eh?! Then I've been eating your cooking?!" Shoto's face was priceless, was it that surprising Natsuo could cook?

"ahh, I wonder about that. I MIGHT have been forced to stop" he gave you father a side glance "After my cooking failed to reach SOMEONE's standards"

from the corner of your eye you could notice they way everyone was looking at him and your father, this had definitely been a bad idea, but for Fuyumi's sake...

"Hey, be glad I'm not the one cooking" you tried to lighten the mood, for a minute it worked, their attention was turned to you instead. "I may be good creating equipment, but when it comes to cook--"

"I didn't even notice." your father interrupted "Next time..."

Natsuo just made a "Mph..." cutting him off, everyone else could only stare at the both of them and the way Natsuo's jaw clenched. Once he finished his food he just got up from his seat. "Well, I came like you asked, can I go now?"

"Natsuo!" Fuyumi tried to stop him, but nothing she said or did worked, he just walked out, sliding the door closed behind him...

Everyone was helping out cleaning once dinner was over, while Shoto and Fuyumi were talking in the living room you went looking for Natsuo who was already getting ready to leave, Frustration still clear on his face.

"You okay?" his mouth was set into a hard line before he just sighed "I just don't get it, how can Fuyumi and Mom be so willing to forgive him? after everything that happened they're still giving him a chance, how can they be so forgiving? how can YOU be so forgiving?" he turned to look at you, grey eyes burning with frustration and curiosity. "After everything he made you go through, you're still giving him a chance and even let your hair red again...why (Y/N)?" your face contorted in sadness at his words, softly running a hand through the locks before answering him.

"Honestly...I can't say that I've completely forgiven him, it's not like I don't feel the same way as you" the memory of the emancipation request came to mind "But...he's trying to make up for his mistakes...I guess I'm just waiting to see how everything turns out" you gave him a sad smile "I know you may never be able to forgive him and that-that's okay, you know" Natsuo was silent for a minute, thinking, considering those words...

The next thing you knew he was ruffling your hair affectionately "You're lucky you're my favorite sibling, just don't tell Fuyumi and Shoto, they'd never let me hear the end of it..." soft laughter came out from the both of you before both went and said goodbye to Fuyumi and the others, he was checking his phone while you stood outside with him, the material of the jacket protecting you from the cold outside.

"How's your new project coming along?" he asked after checking some texts from his classmates. The fact he remembered THAT project made your eyes go wide and heart swell in happiness.

"Oh! It's coming along nicely, and I'm pretty sure Mom is going to love it!" you answered proudly, but that feeling quickly disappeared when you saw something weird...some kind of blurr was flying in the sky, making you unable to pay attention to anything else, not even what Natsuo was saying.

"(Y/N)? are you listening?" He didn't see the way your eyes looked at the sky in fear, or the way your body tensed when the blurr became bigger, taking an horrendous shape once it got closer. You knew what that thing was, Shoto had fought one before, Endeavor had fought them before and it nearly cost his life.

It was a Nomu, and it was heading straight for Natsuo.

"NATSUO, WATCH OUT!!!"

You acted out of reflex and pushed him out of the way causing him to drop on the floor right as the Nomu flew down, grabbing you by the side and digging its claws with a horrendously painful grip before taking off into the dark sky just as fast as it appeared.

Natsuo could only hear the screams of pain and horror as it took you away, staring in fright as that thing disappeared into the sky, with his sister trashing wildly attempting to break free.

"(Y/N)!!!" He quickly ran back home, only Fuyumi was there since their father had already left to take Shoto and his friends back to the dorms.

Meanwhile Endeavor and his Chauffer were taking his three interns back to school, he was busy giving them additional tasks and advice for their internships. And yet the hero's mind couldn't stop wandering to his dream about his family, to the son that was no longer with them, of how his acts tore his family apart. And yet, despite everything he did, most of them were actually giving him a chance.

But what could he do to make up for his past actions?

The sudden way his chauffer slammed the brake on the car nearly hurting everyone inside the vehicle had they not been wearing the seatbelt snapped him out of it.

Endeavor looked towards the empty road and at the source of the sudden halt, the sight in front of them caught his attention presenting everyone with a horrifying sight. A winged Nomu standing in the middle of the road.

And It was holding his youngest daughter by the head.

"That's (Y/N)!" Shoto exclaimed in alarm at he sight of his sister's face twisted in pain and horror due to the massive hand holding her by the back of the head, her own hands gripping hard on the enormous limb, any false movement and that thing could effortlessly crush her head on the spot.

It was in a mere instant that Endeavor literally fled out of the vehicle, heading straight towards the creature holding his daughter hostage. Shoto, Midoriya and Bakugo quickly went after him, just to be stopped mid-way as another Nomus stood before them, preventing the three from approaching the flame hero and it's foe.

"Release her!" Endeavor shouted in anger, but stopped in his tracks when another figure appeared from behind the Nomu. A man wearing nothing but black alongside a white mask covering half of his face smirked wickedly at him.

"Remember me, Endeavor?!" Said hero looked him over before remembering him and that mask.

"From ten years ago...you're that serial killer I took down! You gave yourself your own villain name and everything" he sent a vicious glare in the villains direction, the latter gave a mockingly bow before laughing.

"My my, You actually remember! I'm flattered by your words my friend, I can't believe you actually remember 'Incognito'!~"

'Incognito' just laughed madly while turning to look at you, insanity sparked through his eyes. "But I think this is not the place for a friendly chatter, don't you think so my dear?" he gestured the Nomu, who lifted itself of the ground with the aid of its wings, Incognito grabbed on one of its legs as the creature started going higher into the sky, the grip on your head didn't waver as it fleed.

"If you really want your kid back might as well follow my lead, my friend!" With those words the Nomu swiftly took off into the sky once again, Endeavor following after him with confidence that Shoto and his classmates would manage to take down their current target.

The people on the streets watched the Number 1 hero chasing after the winged monster through the city, he could try launching an attack, but at the risk of the Nomu harming you either by dropping you, or snapping your neck in a swift movement, he couldn't risk it and kept his pursuit after the two villains holding his child hostage.

Incognito signaled the Nomu to stop on top of one of the highest buildings in the city, stepping away a few feet while the monster still had a had grip on you, was it the annoyance? the adrenaline? the anger of being seen as an easy target? you were not sure but it caused you to start trashing around, nails digging into the flesh of the limbs belonging to the creature holding you like a mere rag doll, not that it mattered anyways as it didn't even flinch at the feeling of your hands clawing at him.

"Tch, feisty little thing aren't you?" Incognito stood in front of you, a hand on his chin as it examined the way you struggled with mockery in his laughter before his hand went up, slapping you hard in the face in order to subdue the squirming girl in front of him. "I hate people like you, poor pathetic weaklings that think they can make a difference"

"You won't get away with this" you seethed fiercely, eyes burning with disgust towards the man standing upon you who got close enough again "People like you are meant to be quiet and listen obediently, quirkless people like you are only worthy as mere bait, how in the world did Endeavor even let you live is a question I can't find an answer to-UGH!"

Whatever he was going to say next died in his throat when your knee quickly collided with his stomach, sending his shaking body hunching on the hard floor at the same time as he gripped his stomach in pain, the look of complete stupefaction on his face nearly caused you to laugh at him. The kickboxing lessons really paid off.

"I may be quirkless but I'm not as useless to need a Nomu to do everything for me! You haven't done anything else but blabbering nonsense at Endeavor!" You spat out at him, not even caring of the way Incognito gritted his teeth as he glowered.

"You...bitch!" before he could attempt slapping you again a booming thud distracted him, Incognito turned his back to see the cause of the commotion and on the other side of the rooftop stood Endeavor. He was glaring threateningly at the villain standing in front of you, when he saw the bruise on your face his glare became even more vicious.

"Release my daughter this instant" His already low voice dropped at such a low note that ironically made your blood turn cold in fear, even though the threat wasn't even aimed towards you.

"Why would I do that in the first place? I'm doing you a favor by getting rid of this vermin tainting the world" Incognito walked away from the spot where the Nomu still had a tight grip on you "I've been observing you ever since I managed to escape from prison and I must say...I.am.dissapointed. Where did all that rage that drove you in the past go to?" Incognito sneered in your direction "Oh yes, it's all gone isn't it? All because of this filthy vermin"

with a snap of his fingers the Nomu's grip became tighter, making you shut your eyes in reflex and groan loudly at the painful sensation as your skull was about to be shattered into pieces by the mindless monster holding you captive. Endeavor's face twisted in anger, flames becoming twice as big at the very moment that he aimed an attack straight to the Nomu.

"Oh no you won't!" Incognito's shadow moved all around the floor, covering the whole place in a black curtain, Endeavor stopped his attack and looked at the scenario under him. He remembered the first time facing this villain, his quirk allowing him to travel and observe through the shadows, and he could also hide stuff inside them. That's how he kidnapped his past victims and managed to take their corpses somewhere far away without leaving traces.

Your eyes slowly opened again despite the pain and noticed both your father and the villain were staring at each other, one in rage and the other one in pure mockery, neither of them noticed you were watching the ordeal...or that you slowly pulled back your right sleeve revealing a silver cuff bracelet with a black bead.

Something slowly started to materialize from the shadows behind Endeavor, which made you scream at him in fear.

"LOOK OUT!" Endeavor saw you looking in his direction, but not at him in particular, quickly turning back and narrowly avoiding being stabbed by another Nomu, this one being able to morph its arms into blades began slashing frenetically at everything in front of him, and right now Endeavor was the only thing on his sight.

"Meh...You really lost your touch Endeavor, I guess I'll do you a favor and get rid of the vermin, maybe that will motiv-"

The sound of electricity was loud enough for everyone in the rooftop to hear, followed by the Nomu's screeches of pain by the sudden discharge coming out of your bracelet the moment a fist landed near his neck, it dropped you instantly causing you to fall hard on your knees with a painful groan.

"What the hell did you do?!" Incognito's face became twisted in madness when he realized the 'vermin' in front of him had managed to escape from a Nomu's grip. "You know what? That's it! I've had it with you!" with another snap of his fingers the Nomu holding you hostage began advancing towards Endeavor, now he was fighting against two foes at the same time while Incognito advanced towards you in a threatening manner.

"I think it's about time you finally know your place" For each step the madman in front of you took, you crawled away from him, had it not been by the pain from the fall you would have stood up and run. But right now all you could do was try and aim the bracelet at the man standing in front of you, the idea went out the window when he landed a powerful kick on your side causing you to yelp in pain.

Endeavor turned in the direction of the scream, struggling to keep both Nomus at bay only managing to get a bit closer before both monsters got hold of him again.

Incognito's face didn't change as he took hold of the collar of your jacket and pulled you off the ground, dragging you towards the edge of the building without much of an effort. The back of your feet dangled off the edge, the severity of the situation hitting you like a ton of bricks.

"And that place...is six feet below the ground!"

"(Y/N)!!!" Your father's voice was heard clearly, both you and Incognito turned back where Endeavor had finally managed to defeat one of the Nomus, but the other one was still holding him back. The villain holding you only laughed in complete madness, nothing mattered to him anymore.

"Say goodbye to Papa you brat!"

And with those final words his hand released your jacket.

It was like a slow motion sequence, Endeavor could only watch in horror as you started falling backwards with a look of absolute terror in your eyes, making eye contact with you he could only see the way your lips moved, he only heard you whisper one thing before falling to your death....

"...Dad...?"

There was screaming everywhere as people on the streets caught sight of the girl falling from the top of one of the highest buildings in the city, the wind roared harshly against your face, the pressure was making it hard to listen anything as you fell.

...They say time goes slower inside one's mind as they fall, and that one can see their life before their eyes when the time comes for them to leave this world...It made your own thoughts wander...

Is this how your life was going to end?

Being dropped from a building after being used as bait for your father?

What would happen with your family?

Your mother?

Your siblings?

Would you be able to meet Touya in the afterlife?

You didn't know the answers....and maybe you'd never find out as your eyes slowly began to close, was it because of the pressure? the fear? the resignation? you didn't know...but you drifted out of consciousness in an instant hoping that maybe, just maybe you could reunite with your brother soon...

......

"Touya-nii...Why does he hate me so much?" Enji was on his way to the training room when he overheard as (Y/N) cried in her brother's arms while clinging to the front of his shirt, her brother Touya was sitting on his futon hugging the little girl sitting on his lap. Their father had yelled at her when she tried to approach an injured Shoto who was resting in his room with the left side of his face covered in bandages. Fuyumi was there with him, taking care of the boy's wounded face and spirit.

"He doesn't hate you...he's just...hard to approach" Touya could only make an effort to comfort the little girl whimpering on his shirt, her tears easily soaked the fabric. "C'mon, don't cry anymore...I hate seeing my firefly cry"

Touya wasn't sure of what to say to his sister, (Y/N) was still a child after all and even if his Father treated her horribly Touya wasn't going to poison his little sister's mind with hatred, their father was already doing that with the way he kept treating her after all.

He promised he'd always look out for her as he hugged her tightly.

He would protect his firefly.

No matter what.

......

Incognito was an insane man who didn't care about anything but cleaning the world of the quirkless, or "filthy vermin" as he deemed them.

But in that moment he feared for his life for the very first time.

The agonizing heat coming from behind made him question his life choices fo a brief moment, turning back on his spot with a smile on his face, it was a facade for the panic he was feeling on the inside when he made eye contact with the flame hero who's face was SO void of emotions it was terrifying to look at, the Nomu he was facing laying charred on the floor.

It was in that moment he knew, he fucked up.

The jaw-shattering punch he got to the face told him everything. The only reason he was still alive was because Endeavor was a hero.

A hero who quickly jumped out of the building after the daughter he had failed to take care of in the past.

In that moment, Endeavor- no, Enji Todoroki didn't see (Y/N) as the young lady she was already turning into. But as the little girl he had failed as a father, that little girl that would cry herself to sleep every single night because of him, that little girl who's eyes lost their sparkle the day her older brother passed away...The little girl he found asleep in front of Touya's shrine on more than one occasion during her childhood.

The little girl who's family he promised to make up to for everything he had made them go through because of his ambition....

The young girl...that was once again swiped away by a Nomu and taken away from him in the blink of an eye. He barely managed to avoid colliding with the ground himself, watching as the flying abomination yet again took his daughter away...but this time...it wasn't holding her like a wild animal would to its prey, it was holding her delicately as it flew away.

......

Warmth, that's all you could feel in that moment. A soft, familiar warmth that was hard not to recognize as it enveloped your whole body.

"Wake up...Please wake up Firefly"

...Did you die from the fall? Did your wish come true?

Your eyes slowly started to open, despite your efforts everything was but a blurry image in your eyes no matter how much you tried to focus.

And yet, that figure watching over you was of someone you would never be able to mistake or forget.

"...Touya?"

His head turned in your direction, you could recognize those eyes anywhere, a sad smile crept upon your face, eyes glistening with unshed tears at the image of Touya's face, his lips quivering emotionally as he hugged you tightly, face burying itself into your shoulder, despite being a dream his hug felt so real, almost like he never left you in the first place...

You didn't hesitate to hug him back, wishing with all your might that it wasn't a dream.

"I missed you so much Touya-nii"

"...I missed you too Firefly"

How much time had passed you didn't know, but the harsh cold from winter made it clear that it was late, just not exactly how late.

"Go to sleep (Y/N), everything will be alright"

You didn't wanted to, afraid that if you did Touya would just disappear again, but your body had other plans as exhaustion started taking over again.

"Hey Touya?" You didn't even realize he was carrying you bridal style until the soothing sound of his heartbeat reached your ears, for a dream everything felt so real...except for a single detail.

"Yeah?"

"...When did you dye your hair?"

......

There was a search party looking for you along with Endeavor, Shoto and his friends, who had managed to subdue their own enemy and joined everyone with the search. Natsuo had rushed back home the moment you were taken and told Fuyumi, the both of them were quick to call the police after their father failed to answer their calls, that's when they found out he was already in the middle of rescuing their sister. It was a wonder how the accident didn't become broadcasted all over the news.

Where in they world did they take you to?

The answer came quickly through one of the policemen's radio. One of them had found you laying unconscious in the bench of a small abandoned playground nearby, when they gave out the location it was Shoto who answered the question of why did that playground sounded so familiar in the first place.

It was the place where Touya would always take you when you were younger, it was nearby to a small pond where if one was lucky enough to go at a certain time they would be able to see the whole place illuminated by small fireflies.

An ambulance was quick to arrive at the place just at the same time you woke up and quickly started treating you on the spot making sure there wasn't any fatal injuries. Everyone was quick on their feet and rushed to find you, fortunately the playground wasn't far from where the hero and his interns were looking.

Endeavor had his own share of bruises and a gash on his face when the blades Nomu nearly got him, but in that moment he didn't care about himself, all that mattered was knowing you were safe.

That's when he finally reached the location, and he saw you.

Sitting at the back ambulance with a grey blanket draped around your battered form, there was a paramedic softly patching up the wounds inflicted by the villain, there were bruises on your face, mainly the right cheek on the spot where Incognito had hit you in the face, both knees were covered in bandages, but fortunately nothing was broken despite everything that happened. There was a tired look on your face, the adrenaline from everything that happened finally wore off and only exhaustion was left.

"(Y/N)!" You could only look up tiredly at the sound of your name, being still in shock made it harder to focus, until the owner of said voice approached, the paramedic quickly stepped away at the sight of the Number One hero approaching before standing still in front of you, he was panting heavily from running to the ambulance the moment it was notified you had been found and were being taken care of.

There was only confusion on your bruised and disoriented face. It took you a few seconds to be able recognize the person standing in front of you, until the heat from his flames settled around, a heavy contrast from the sharp cold of winter.

He didn't bother to wait for a response, lunging forwards and embracing you firmly in distress at the realization he could have lost another one of his children.

"I'm sorry (Y/N)...please forgive me...!" his voice came out in a barely audible whisper as his hold became stronger and desperate, your chin rested on top of his shoulder and one of his hands caressed the back of your head, the both of you could feel way the other started shaking.

He didn't see the way your eyes became wide open by his actions, or the way your face scrunched from the aching inside your heart, the tears flooding your eyes slowly starting to run down your face one by one and your lips began trembling.

"Please...I hope some day, you will find it in your heart to forgive me...or at least...let me show you how truly sorry I am for everything I did to you...!"

He could hear your desolated whimpers clearly, feeling the small trickles of tears slowly soaking the fabric on his shoulder and the smaller pair of hands gripping tightly on his clothes.

"..Why...why did it take this long...for you to realize...?"

Enji Todoroki could only hold his daughter as she let out a heartbreaking cry, loud enough for everyone nearby to hear, everyone around could almost feel the pain inside the girl's heart. Whoever happened to watch the scene unfolding before them could only think her cries were from the fear of nearly falling to her death.

Nobody but her brother realized it was the very first time in her whole life being embraced by her father in a comforting way.

You didn't know how much time had passed, but by the time your father pulled away fatigue had once again taken over and the paramedics took you away just to make sure everything was alright.

One of the officers that apprehended Incognito, who was already awake from the hit he got from Endeavor mentioned they had interrogated the villain, asking for his ties with the league of villain, after all he had three Nomus under his control.

To the heroe's surprise, Incognito had gloated about managing to steal them from under the league's nose without them even realizing, he was a man that preferred working alone. Everyone was so distracted with the news they didn't become aware of the person watching them, hearing every single detail, including the route they would be taking in order to take Incognito to a high-security prison, as far away as possible.

...

Two days later Incognito was being escorted to prison. He could only laugh bitterly at the measures taken to prevent him from using his quirk to escape again, he was surrounded by light from every corner of the vehicle, not a single trace of darkness was visible, making his quirk completely useless.

A sudden rattle snapped him out of his own thoughts of revenge, something heavy landed on top on the transport, everyone looked towards the source, nobody was ready for the Chainsaw cutting through the steel without much of an effort, or the limbs that shot towards Incognito, grabbing him by the head and pulled him out of the vehicle, his screams of surprise echoed through the metallic walls as he Nomu hurled his restrained body into the ground, he groaned painfully by the force from the impact stunning him.

If the fall wasn't painful enough, the sudden kick aimed at his face definitely was, a loud crack from his nose breaking left him paralyzed from the pain of both that and his jaw suffering fractures.

"What the hell...?" His eyes went up to the person responsible of his latest injury. And the utter panic he felt in that moment was even worse than when Endeavor broke his jaw.

The burning hatred aimed at him through Dabi's eyes was a thousand times worse than the flame hero's glare. If that didn't terrify him, the sadistic grin on the villain's scarred face was enough to give him nightmares for life.

"So, not only did you have the balls to steal from us...But you also attacked her"

"W-wait! you have it all wrong! I did it for a good cause!"

Another kick landed on his bleeding face, at his point Incognito was drowning in a pool of his own blood wheezing from the pain of his nose shattering into minuscule fragments from the second impact.

"The only good cause I can think of getting rid of scum like you" Dabi's whole body became engulfed in blue flames, the smile on his face replaced by a cold hard glare.

"W-why do you care about that vermin so much?!" Incognito questioned with panic, trying desperately to crawl away from the cremation villain no no such luck with the restrains on his body preventing him from doing so.

"Because..." The agonizing cries from Incognito could be heard from miles away as his body started burning away, the guards looking from afar could only watch the gruesome sight of the villain being consumed by a wave of blue fire, the smell of his burning flesh strong enough to make anyone nearby nauseous.

"Nobody...hurts my Firefly"

I hope you guys enjoy this part!

MASTERLIST

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