#for the people who HAVE read the first Derailed... you may recognize a scene...

[teamconductors]

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Lost Tracks of Time, Chapter 15

Summary: Team Conductors get rescued by an independent rescue team called Team Galaxy. Emmet takes his time exploring their base while waiting for Ingo to wake.

Author’s Note: For those who aren’t aware, there’s a new Derailed short story! It’s called ��Derailed: Unchained”, and it’s technically an AU of Chapters 15 and 16 but you only need to read up to Chapter 14 to understand it. And if you haven’t already, check out the first chapter of Derailed called “Abduction”. It may not be canon, but please check it out! Here’s a link

This is a casual reminder that the characters of this AU with a clear canon counterpart do not perfectly match up to said counterpart.

Also, there might be something in here that qualifies as body horror? Nightmare sequences are fun.

Thank you @furiouskettle! Are you tired of me tagging you in every new chapter post? I am sincerely asking.

(Shippers DNI)

Emmet woke up in an alien location. His bed was a proper bed with linens, a blanket, and a pillow. It was soft and a great contrast with his hay bed at the Pearl Guild. In an identical bed next to him was Ingo. His coat was folded next to Emmet’s, and their hats rested on top of their respective coats, all on a bedside cabinet. A folded towel covered Ingo’s forehead. Across from both of them was Chandelure, who sat in a reclining chair. They were sleeping, but their flames were of healthy size.

Emmet realized he worked up a sweat during his sleep. He vaguely recalled the nightmare – it was the same one he always had, after all. He doesn’t know how many times he had seen it, but he could never remember much beyond screaming, falling, and wind. But one element lingered in his mind that wasn’t there before: sickness. An aura of nausea and weakness penetrated the entire dream, and he wanted to throw up or rip apart his stomach. At least that feeling didn’t follow him to the waking world.  

Laventon walked into the room. “Oh! You’re awake! Hello, I am Laventon. I’m Team Galaxy’s doctor. We found you lot in the fieldlands nearby our base. Eelektross said he flew you all here. Are you doing well, Emmet?”

“I am well. What happened to Ingo? Where is Sneasler and Eelektross?” Emmet asked.

“Oh, okay. Well, Eelektross is in another room because he’s a large specimen and needs more space! As for Sneasler, that’s your Noble friend, right?” Laventon paused and saw Emmet nod. “Yes. I don’t know where she is, so I can’t help you there, but she doesn’t know where we are, I think.”

“What is our location?”

“Jubilife City! Or what’s left of it, that is. Cyllene and I found this building and made it our base! It’s no Pearl Guild, but there’s plenty of room for my studies, Rei’s tinkering, Cyllene’s training, and medical rooms for pokemon in need!”

“What happened to Ingo?” Emmet pointed at his brother. Chandelure napped in peace, and he felt well-rested. Ingo, meanwhile, twitched in his sleep like he was still feeling pain. “Why is Ingo still sleeping? He doesn’t like naps.”

“Well, it’s a peculiar thing. You, Chandelure, and Eelektross were all poisoned, but Cyllene and I were concerned about Ingo looking the same despite being a poison-type pokemon. Well, we took a closer look and… It should be okay for me to remove this temporarily.” Laventon hopped up onto Ingo’s bed. He was so light that the bed didn’t squeak under his weight. His little hand popped out and slowly removed the towel off Ingo’s forehead.

A crack stretched across the yellow gem on Ingo’s forehead.

Emmet struggled to keep his smile on. “Is he broken?”

“Well, yes, but not really?” Laventon replaced the towel to cover his gem again. “How shall I explain this? …Usually, pokemon with gems embedded in them have the gems as a power source or amplifier of power. The Lake Guardians is a good example of that! But for your species, I don’t think that’s the case. Ingo’s other injuries have been healed since we first found you all, which makes me think this crack is connected to his current state.”

“You can’t do anything else to heal him?” Emmet asked.

“That’s what the towel is for! It’s soaked in a salve that is slowly healing the crack. This only works because the gem isn’t connected to psychic powers or anything, but I do wonder… Head trauma alone isn’t enough to cause a crack like that. He had to be under a lot of pressure first before the final strike. Emmet, was he under a lot of stress? Or have anxiety issues or depression or anything similar?”

Emmet fidgeted with his blanket. “…Ingo puts a lot of pressure on himself. I tried to get him to rest. He couldn’t.”

“I see… In that case, we’ll just let him rest for now,” Laventon said. “And you can rest as well. We don’t need two Sneasels to get cracked gems. If you need anything, please shout for one of us!”

Laventon left the room. After a few moments of waiting, Emmet, unable to handle the silence, put on his coat and hat and jumped off his bed.

***

Rei had finished checking on Eelektross. On his way to check on the Sneasel twins and Chandelure, he encountered Emmet. He was pacing up and down the hallway with his arms and legs completely straight while swinging about. A trail formed on the rug he paced on.

“S-Sir? Are you okay?” Rei asked, taken aback from the sight.

“Thinking,” Emmet said. He continued taking laps in the hall, even waving at Rei once he realized he was present.

“What?”

“I am thinking.”

“…Thinking about what?”

“A lot of things.”

There was a pause in the conversation. Rei wasn’t sure how to approach Emmet. “Are you… worried about your brother? I heard from the others you’re siblings, right?”

“Yes. I am Emmet. Ingo is my twin brother. I am worried about him.”

“Well, you don’t need to. The Professor is really smart with medicine, and Ingo will be back to fighting shape soon.” Rei played with the ends of his scarf. “Are you… worried about Lady Sneasler?”

“Hmm, yes, I am.”

“Well, that makes sense… You know what? I’ll let you get back to… whatever it is you’re doing. Sorry for bothering you.” Rei walked past Emmet, who had not stopped pacing at any point during their conversation, to check on Chandelure and Ingo.

Emmet had gone back to pacing so that he could think – think about Ingo, think about Sneasler, think about his strategy to defeat and free Sneasler, think about what moves he would need for their battle, think about how he freed Ingo but couldn’t free anyone else from the Red Chain, think about how many of his rules he broke, think about what to tell Ingo as soon as he woke up.

Rei, however, brought him out of his thoughts. “Oh, Emmet! Can I ask you something about Ingo?” he asked from inside his brother’s infirmary room. Emmet ran inside and saw Rei using the bedside cabinet as a stool to see Ingo at eye-level. “What is on his wrist? I don’t recognize that sort of technology.”

“It’s a watch,” Emmet said.

“Really? Never seen one like it.” Rei turned his head around the watch, trying to look at it from different angles without touching Ingo. “Though it looks like it could use a new screen… Do you think Ingo would let me tinker with it if I asked?”

“Not sure. Ask him when he wakes up.” If it was up to Emmet, he’d let Rei check out the watch, but Ingo was possessive over certain items beyond his reasoning. He figured the Arc Watch fell into that category.

“Yeah, I’ll just wait until then. Thank you anyway, Emmet.” Rei watched Emmet return to the hallway and walk around without so much as a goodbye. He was just busy and forgot, Rei thought.

***

Emmet was no longer satisfied in pacing outside of the hallway of Ingo’s room and decided to explore more of Team Galaxy’s base. Despite the building being hundreds of years old, it held firm and had minimal signs of age. Even the paint and wallpaper appeared to have been applied within the past few years. Though that may not sound important to others, Emmet knew appearances mattered. One of his rules is to smile, after all.

Emmet noticed a closed door and opened it. Inside, Eelektross tried and failed to sleep on a bed like a normal-sized pokemon. Instead, his long body was piled around like a discarded scarf. He used the bed as a headrest.

“Eelektross, you look cramped,” Emmet said. He recalled Laventon’s words about needing to give Eelektross more space.

“I’m fine, I just tried to stretch… It didn’t work out…” Eelektross said. He wiped his eyes. “Emmet, I’m so glad you’re okay…! Sneasler’s poison was nasty...”

“I am Emmet. I will not let poison stop me in my tracks,” Emmet said.

“Of course you wouldn’t… Uh, you really are the real Emmet, aren’t you?”

Emmet furrowed his eyes in confusion. “Yes, I am Emmet. I am a Sneasel, but I am Emmet.”

“Right… I’m sorry for doubting you. I just thought… it’s been a long time… maybe you were just some reincarnation of Emmet… but you really look like him. You sound like him. I think you are him. Is that… pathetic?”

“No, I am Emmet.”

“…Okay.” Eelektross wasn’t sure what other response he expected.

“While I am thinking of it, I must thank you, my Eelektross.”

“What for?”

“You brought our team to safety when Ingo and I couldn’t. Thank you.”

“Oh, of course. I’m glad these pokemon are nice… Is… Is Ingo awake yet?”

“Nope.”

“What is happening…? I don’t remember Ingo getting sick this much...”

“Laventon said it’s stress.”

“Okay, that makes some sense… You two don’t remember much, but you also say that a lot still live in your hearts. I wonder if his heart is remembering something causing it?”

Emmet’s default smile softened. The battle was a blur, but Sneasler’s distorted cries echoed within his head. ‘Warden Ingo’, she called him. The combination of words meant little to Emmet’s ears, but he watched Ingo’s defenses fall from the same words. Sneasler’s strike made Ingo crash into the ground headfirst. “…Okay, I’ll ask him.”

“What, now?”

“No, when he’s back at this station. Later, Eelektross.”

“Bye…?” Eelektross waved as Emmet tipped his hat and left his room. As sudden as it was, it didn’t surprise him too much. There were plenty of times Emmet forgot his usual manners because he was focused on something else. Eelektross shrugged and resumed his attempts to untangle himself.

***

When Emmet went back to exploring, he noticed a room different than the others. Several bookshelves were precariously stacked on each other, all filled with aged books. There was a couch and desk with a chair for reading. It reminded Emmet of a smaller version of the Pearl Guild’s library. Laventon sat in one of the chairs. His book about the Hisuian Nobles hid his body, and he had to lower it to look at the pokemon that entered his library.

“Hello again, Emmet!” Laventon said. “Are you a fan of reading?”

“Reading is good. Reading is important. I have done a lot of reading recently.” He and Ingo combed through Calaba’s library so much that they found books she didn’t realize she owned. He was almost tired of having to do so much research. Still, curiosity guided him, and his eyes scanned Laventon’s collection.

“If you’re feeling anxious, I could make some tea to help calm nerves,” Laventon said.

“No, I do not need tea right now.” Emmet pointed up to a book on the higher shelves. “That one looks interesting.”

“You want to get up there? Sure, give me one-“ Before Laventon could offer a ladder, he witnessed Emmet climb the shelves. “Please be careful!”

By the time Laventon pushed a ladder to Emmet’s location, Emmet pulled out the book he wanted and jumped back down, falling from a distance three times his height. “Here it is.” He showed Laventon the book. It was titled On the Rails: A History of Trains. He began flipping through the pages.

“Oh, do you like human modes of transportation, Emmet?” Laventon asked. “I’m studying humans! I like learning about their history, culture, lifestyle… I read a lot about what it was like for humans and pokemon to live together, but I wish I could have seen it myself. But I also am studying pokemon behavior in mystery dungeons! It’s so strange, how normal pokemon can behave so differently after long-term exposure to a mystery dungeon environment! And then there’s pokemon who can resist it, like your friend Eelektross. There are so many mysteries in the world, Emmet! I formed Team Galaxy with Cyllene to help me uncover mysteries and help my studies, so I’m so glad to see someone who shares a similar passion!”

“Indeed,” Emmet said. He flipped through the book, but despite appearances, he listened to Laventon’s every word. “Ingo and I have memory troubles. I think we were passionate about trains specifically, but we couldn’t remember what they were. It was strange.” He paused his page flipping and stared at the book for a moment. “…Can I keep this?”

“Sure! I think you want that one more than me, so feel free to have it!”

“Thank you. I will now depart.” Emmet ran out of Laventon’s study room, book still in hand.

***

“Ingo!” Emmet ran back to the room Ingo was resting in. “I know what trains are!” He pulled up a chair and sat down next to Ingo’s bed. “I can’t wait to show you when you wake up.”

Chandelure woke up and floated next to Ingo at the opposite side from where Emmet sat.

“You are back to operating condition?” Emmet asked.

Chandelure smiled and nodded.

“That is good.” Emmet turned the book around in his hands, then he set it down next to Ingo. His smile softened. “I have been thinking. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. …I like taking challenges as they come. I don’t worry about the future as long as I have fun. I have fun winning battles, and I have fun when I’m fighting serious battles. …But battles have become too serious. The Nobles talk like the world is headed towards a final stop.

“…I want to talk about battle strategies with you, Ingo. We will need teamwork to free Sneasler. It shouldn’t be hard for us once you heal.” Laventon’s words about Ingo’s injury bounced around in Emmet’s mind. “…I found you, but it feels like I’m losing you again. Please wake up, Ingo. I don’t know how we ended up on this track, but I can’t travel it alone. I don’t want to. I already failed as a conductor by not helping Sneasler in time. I don’t want to fix my mistake alone.”

Ingo didn’t respond. Feeling that he couldn’t enunciate his feelings into words anymore, Emmet rested his head on the bed and waited. He watched Chandelure’s flames burn. Though the fires made him sweat, they weren’t too uncomfortable for him. Chandelure’s power hadn’t worked on him before due to his typing, but before he knew it, Emmet fell sleep.

At first, the familiar vague nightmare took its hold on Emmet’s mind, but then it burned and made way for a new, stranger dream. Emmet was human. Two pokemon stood in front of him. One was a smaller, younger-looking Eelektross, and the other was Chandelure. Next to Emmet was another human. He sounded like Ingo. There were two other humans and two pokemon across from them, but he couldn’t identify who they were. The walls were of metal; Emmet realized their location was a “subway train”. The pokemon battled, and Emmet and the human who had to be Ingo conducted their pokemon together. The train was warm and lit in a vague violet-blue light. All was well.

All was well until Emmet looked up and noticed the metal walls and ceiling melting. Molten steel dripped around everyone to the point that Eelektross and Chandelure both were dodging drops of metal like any other pokemon attack. Emmet himself noticed he was shorter than before. He looked down. His legs were melting and pooled onto the floor. He tried to step back, but because half of his legs liquified into a substance like white paint, he fell onto his back with a splat. Ingo called out to Emmet and offered a hand. Emmet reached out, but his hand and arm burst apart. The rest of Emmet’s body followed suit.

Emmet woke up with a gasp. Sweat matted his fur. He noticed Ingo was still sleeping, his condition unchanged. Across from Emmet, Chandelure stared at him with a concerned, scared expression.

“You. You tried to stop my nightmare?” he asked.

Chandelure nodded.

“Don’t. Don’t do that again. That was not fun.” Emmet gave Chandelure a smile to let them know he wasn’t angry.

***

Emmet took to pacing around the room. Chandelure was uneasy watching him, even if he did it back when he was human, too. The walking just made it easier to think.

Ingo stirred. “…Emmet?”

“Ingo! You’re way behind schedule,” Emmet said. He jumped back to his seat next to his brother.

“What is this station? Where are we? And where’s Sneasler?”

“We are at Jubilife City. We are at Team Galaxy’s base. As for Sneasler, her location is… unknown.”

“Sneasler is in danger… We need to depart!” Ingo sat up, throwing the towel off his forehead. He then grabbed his head and slowly laid back down. His forehead gem was still cracked, though not nearly as deep or large as it was earlier.

Emmet retrieved the towel. “Sorry, Ingo. There will be no departing until you are back to standard operating condition.”

“I see… I may not like it, but very well. I am still worried for Sneasler. From what I remember of getting connected to the Red Chain, she must be in critical pain and distress.”

“I agree. I want her to be back to normal, too. I have been trying to come up with a new strategy. Our last one wasn’t good enough.”

“Did we have a strategy?” Ingo asked sincerely.

Emmet placed his hands on his hips. “I attacked Sneasler with all I could. You didn’t attack at all.”

Ingo rubbed the fabric of his blanket between his claws. “I was hoping to appeal to her emotionally to stop her. We wouldn’t be able to beat her in a battle.”

“We can. I am Emmet, and you are Ingo. We are pokemon. We are a two-car train. We have to battle.” Emmet let himself show a little irritation, though he kept his smile on. “Please don’t be ridiculous. Battles worked before. Why change a successful strategy?”

Ingo frowned more. “…I did hesitate from battling against Sneasler, which I now regret. I try to make sure all of our passengers are treated the same, but it appears that I have a weakness for Sneasler. But I would likely hesitate again if you were the one Chained, Emmet.”

Emmet’s signature smile softened. “…Oh.” Emmet cared for Sneasler, but Ingo’s words made him reflect on his perspective. Ingo was always the one who was better at talking. “In that case, if you somehow still got Chained, I would battle you. But I would only do it if it was the correct course of action. I will not hesitate to help Sneasler, and I would not delay in helping you, Ingo.”

Ingo’s eyes widened. He had a realization, too. “Ah, I see. I apologize.”

“I do, too.” Emmet relaxed a little with Ingo’s response. He didn’t like getting angry at his brother. He literally couldn’t remember the last time they disagreed so deeply, but at least it was resolved quickly.

“I thought I heard a new voice!” Laventon said as he entered. He was on a different floor of the base, but the new voice clearly travelled around the building. “Ingo, good to see you’re awake, my boy! Though you’re still not fully healed, I see.”

“Good day, Professor. My name is Ingo. You are part of Team Galaxy, correct? Thank you for assisting us!”

“Of course, of course, Ingo! We’re glad to help another rescue team in need,” Laventon said. Only Rei called him ‘Professor’, so he wasn’t sure how Ingo knew about that nickname. “As soon as you’re all healed, we’ll let you go out and do what you need to do!”

“Thanks,” Emmet said.

“Yes, thank you! We will need to meet with the Nobles for assistance to…” Ingo’s eyes widened. “Oh no!”

“Ingo, what is wrong?” Emmet asked.

“Sneasler’s Toxic Plate!” Ingo sat up as the horror set in. His mind spun around, but the shock from the realization was too great for him to mind it. “Lady Sneasler was the only Noble who still held her plate! But now she’s Chained, so she must have delivered her plate to the conductor of this nefarious plot!”

“Oh, the Toxic Plate? I am ahead of you.” Emmet reached inside his coat and pulled out a familiar purple slate.

“The Toxic Plate! How did you obtain this?!” Ingo asked.

“When I was battling Sneasler, I used Thief,” Emmet said. “Thief is a good move to surprise an opponent. I am glad I learned it.”

“Excellent! Bravo, Emmet!” Ingo was so relieved that his hands shook. “Now we can prepare for the route ahead and aim solely for freeing Sneasler.”

“I see everyone in Team Conductors is conscious.” Cyllene floated into the room and stood firmly on the ground. “This should make our coming battle less taxing on my team.”

“Come again, Cyllene?” Laventon tried to remain calm, but he didn’t like Cyllene’s grim tone.

“Professor, it’s bad news!” Rei said as he charged to rejoin everyone. “Lady Sneasler is approaching our base!”

[purplebass]

Alastair Carstairs and Charles Fairchild: Uneven Love

In this essay I will try to be as brief as I can about what it meant to be part of the LGBTQ+ community at the beginning of the XX century and a few points on why Charles and Alastair were an uneven/unbalanced couple. Have a nice read!

Being gay in Victorian/Edwardian London

Legality of Charlastair’s relationship

Uneven relationship

Before I start delving into this topic, I just wanted to tell you a few things about what it meant being part of the LGBTQ+ community at the beginning of the XX century. I will briefly tell you about Great Britain specifically because the story is set in London, but you have to understand each country has its movements of emancipation and its laws, so there are a few things which may differ. I will also just mention about homosexual relationships at this time.

Being a gay man in London at the beginning of XX century wasn’t easy, because if two men were caught together in compromising positions, they could be arrested and detained and accused of buggery or attempted buggery. There was a law passed in 1885 which condemned public indecency between males, and such law won’t be abolished until the 60’s of the XX century. The only places gay men were allowed to be themselves were the Molly Houses. Those places were like modern taverns, pubs, coffeehouses where they could meet and engage in sexual activities with other gay men. Speaking of Charles and Alastair, I do wonder if they met in such a place, although since the former is so obsessed with keeping the appearances, maybe not. Or maybe he went in secret, but let’s not forget that in 1902 Alastair was 17. 

Why is Charles so obsessed with his image?

For one, homosexuality was the opposite of the idea of “manliness” in Victorian/Edwardian age. During this period, what counted the most to British people was their image, how they appeared in public, and being gay was considered as a deviant act, an immortal act which was the evidence of a corrupt morality. A Victorian family had to be presentable, impeccable - the public sphere had to be pristine even if the private sphere was not. Charles Fairchild is a man of the public sphere because he’s sort of a politician’s figure who was born during the highest point Victorian mentality. It’s no wonder he is concerned with how others perceive him, and he sees his sexuality as a threat to his preferred career, which is all about “manliness”. Remember before Charlotte became Consul? Even there we saw the sexism of the Inquisitor and other members solely because Charlotte was not a man, hence, she couldn’t be “manly”. Charles would be regarded the same way, this is why he decided not to be openly gay. But mark my words, sooner or later he will because that is an inner conflict he has which is at war with his outer goal. 

I’ve seen people say that one of the first reasons why Alastair and Charles’ relationship was not appropriate is because Alastair was 16 and Charles was 22. Of course I agree. I wanted to check whether it was legal or not in the XX century, and I discovered that after the Criminal Law Amendment Act passed in 1885, the age of consent was 16, which meant that as much as I find it repulsing, Alastair and Charles could have a relationship and they wouldn’t be breaking the law except for the not so little detail that they were homosexual. Like I said above, homosexuals could risk a prison sentence. 

I want to tell you more about this topic but I don’t want to derail from the purpose of this essay.

First and foremost, from the interactions we had of them, you could tell Charles seemed to have promised things to Alastair, because when they speak in Chapter 11 of CoG, the latter is pained and all of his hopes are destroyed. “But you said - I thought” that is what Alastair says. That is the realization that he believed in Charles and what they shared in Paris. Charles says he doesn’t make “false promises”, which means that he may have already thought that their relationship could not be more than what it was - a secret affair. Secret because the act was illegal at the time, and affair because it’s clear Charles might have used Alastair’s affection to fuel his own ego.

I’m convinced that Charles may have an inferiority complex. His mother Charlotte is Consul, the first female Consul. I believe he admires her because despite being a woman, she could get this post because she is also very able with her job. Charlotte is someone Charles looks up to and wants to emulate, but as we see through CoG, Charles’ regent job is laughable. He slanders James, he seems to side with Tatiana whenever he is concerned without having evidence (you see, Tatiana may have manipulated Charles into doing what she wants). This is not what a promising Consul does, and Charles probably knows it. 

Then why Alastair?

Why, you say? For one, Alastair also likes politics. I hope he likes politics because he wasn’t influenced by Charles, but I’m convinced that is what Charles and Alastair bonded on; politics. I could see Alastair also getting into politics, by the way, but this is a chat for another time. 

Alastair, 17 year old Alastair, felt confident of baring his soul to Charles when they started getting acquainted. He was also very young, I think Charles was the first person that he recognized also loved men like he did. He lived in an age were homosexuality was punished, the majority of gay men tried to hide their sexuality not to be deemed immoral and deviant. I think Alastair was ecstatic that he had found someone he could like and who could like him back, and this is why he decided to be with Charles. We don’t know when this relationship started, but probably after 1899 and the Academy. Maybe Paris in 1902 was the first encounter they had because they couldn’t see each other all the time, maybe they had been together longer… I don’t know. I hate that we don’t know the exact timeline, but we may get it in the future.

I was saying. In Chapter 11 of CoG when Charles goes to Alastair’s house, he reveals that he loves him. “I have loved you since Paris,” Alastair says, which, like I said above, makes it impossible to define if they just had Paris and Alastair fell for him from that only moment of connection (because they might have had sexual interactions there, maybe Alastair lost his virginity to Charles - these are just my assumptions, I have no idea if I’m right).

The Paris affair also makes me think about: “We’ll always have Paris”, which is a famous line from Casablanca. What does it mean? The only thing the protagonists of that movie can hold onto is Paris, since WWII broke and they can only have the memory of what happened in Paris because they can’t be together/won’t be reunited. Rings a bell? 

Before I also add how prophetic it was for Alastair to find Thomas in Paris at the same moment he was waiting to spend time with Charles - because it was indeed a coincidence, but also how tricky fate is. Alastair was probably already attracted to Thomas in Paris, but he was loyal to Charles, otherwise… but this is also a chat for another essay.

Then Alastair and Charles kiss. The way Charles treats Alastair is very controlling: he doesn’t just reply “You know I do” when A tells him he loves him, he leads the moment and draws Alastair towards him for a kiss. Then they end up on the sofa, Charles on top and Alastair under him - which isn’t very casual, is also a way for Charles to control everything, because he knows fine well Alastair loves him and he’s indulging into the moment because he doesn’t dislike A, but he also doesn’t love him. Alastair gives Charles the validation he isn’t getting in his political sphere. (See a few paragraphs above).

Sex is also a way to exert power. We don’t know Alastair’s and Charles’s private lives in detail, but from the ways this scene is written, I can tell Alastair is the type who bares himself for the one he loves. Now that his heart was broken I don’t know what to expect. 

Then they stop. Alastair is in pain because he longed for Charles. Of all the things he could ask Charles, what does he ask?

“What is wrong, Charles?” he said, his voice husky and rough. “If this is not what you came for, then why are you here?”

I mean, what? Do you know the heaviness of this sentence? It means that most of Alastair and Charles’ interactions as a couple might have been lead by sex or by making out. Why do I think this? Because otherwise Alastair wouldn’t say that - he’s basically implying that most of the occurrences between them started because of something sexual…

 “IF THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU CAME FOR…” 

It makes me so mad. So mad. Because it is clear to me that after the Academy, Alastair was devastated and also regretful of his actions towards the other guys. He also had to take care of his family. He also points out how he managed his household when his father was “sick”, how Alastair has been a brother and a father and the head of the Carstairs family for longer than we can imagine. I understand why meeting Charles could have changed his life, but Alastair is a giver, he gives a lot to those he cares about, meanwhile Charles is a seeker, he also wants to feel loved but he can’t exchange the affection the same way. 

We can consider Charles and Alastair’s relationship dead and gone, anyway. Not only because Alastair said he was done and understood that Charles just wanted to matter (his words, not mine) and that he only cares about his career. In the scene I mentioned above, we also know that the reason why Charles came to Alastair’s was to inform him that Barbara Lightwood had died. Metaphorically speaking, her death could also signify the death of Charlastair and the moment in which Thomastair’s door was truly open to explore. 

Now to conclude my thoughts - which I hope weren’t too jumbled - I’ll just say that as much as he unnerves me, I do think Charles could have a nice arc if played well. But, my dears, without Alastair. This is for sure.

Footnote: If you want to know more this, especially concerning gender, you can read What is Gender History? By Sonya O. Rose which treats different topics.

[bonegender]

I'm deciding to respond to this in a separate post because I do not want to derail the original intentions of the post with my thoughts. You can read the article in the original post here and I recommend that you do before reading what I have to say about it in my post.

I think this article has the best of intentions, and like the tweets the writer critiques and admonishes for blowing things out of proportion and becoming biased, I think unfortunately that is what this article has done in turn. Often times, this is just the very nature of discussing hot topics and sensitive issues in online circles and even offline. What Isabel did was perhaps in good faith but needs to be recognized as a faux pas. People are sensitive to this sort of anonymity for a reason as it is weaponized by T*RFS and other anti trans groups on the regular.

I'm rather appalled at the stance posed by this article, questioning what harm would it do if there was another piece of transphobic media in a space that is supposed to be more welcoming of transness? What harm would it do? It would welcome more transphobia well intentioned or otherwise. What's to stop others from making insensitive short stories under the guise of good faith? What's to stop a wave of Sci Fi writers from flooding the scene with wombyn ideologies? Isn't there enough transphobic, homophobic, sexist and racist writers no matter the genre? But it's okay to excuse more of them because they could potentially be closeted?

Personally I feel this is an asinine take. I feel to allow for a margin of error especially with the mask of anonymity is just allowing for people to stick their xenophobic, transphobic, and potentially fetishizing fingers into places that are attempting to make themselves safe for other marginalized people. This isn't to say that there shouldn't be room for discussion of gender like Isabel attempted to do, and I think it was a very brave and brash move for her to make that her FIRST publication as her new attempted identity. However, her downfall is not single-handedly the fault of the twitter users that speculated her identity. She took a bat to a hornet's nest and then was shocked when she was stung.

I do not wish her harm and I do not think she deserved the level of backlash she got. I do think that she was misguided, and perhaps should have thought twice about making such a reactionary and problematic meme the title of her first work. That alone is a red flag and especially for someone with so little information behind them. It's really bizarre to me how one can cry out that they were shot when they were the one holding the gun to their foot. Perhaps "cancel culture" is a bit out of control on some level, of that I will concede, but did Isabel really live in such a bubble as not to expect potential backlash?

If this article was meant to put to rest the discussion around this whole debacle, it failed. To me this is further stirring of the pot when really Isabel should be left to heal and mend her relationship with her identity after the fall out of this nightmare. This opens the door for further dissection of her behavior, her motives, and what it means to be closeted and the way people handle transness and their expression of gender. Something that really spoke out to me is Isabel's comment about being sniffed out as potentially not being a woman because she didn't know how to write women and how that notion was potentially transphobic. I am a trans man. I will never claim to know how to write cis men, nor can I truly say I know how to write trans men either. I barely know what it's like to be trans and that is from my own perspective. Every woman is different, trans or otherwise, and there is no definitive way to write one gender or any for that matter.

I feel that this was a perfect storm of an inexperienced writer being published with potentially internalized transphobia working through that transphobic ideology on a grand stage for all to see. No one could have possibly predicted the outcome in full, but it would be foolish to say that none of it was truly expected. Ignorance is still ignorance, even if it's coming from those who are marginalized. We can forgive and we can move on but to give people passes simply because they are on the side of those downtrodden leaves room for others to cry wolf. I wish the best for Isabel, and hope she can recover and be something more of what she wants to be, but it needs to be recognized she made a mistake. A good-hearted mistake, but a mistake nonetheless.

I will say that yes, Twitter and other sites are very good at tearing it's users apart and keeping some sort of pecking order. I will admit that online queer spaces are becoming notorious for eating themselves alive and measuring and monitoring all behaviors to make us all seem more consumable and easy to categorize. There is huge issue to be taken with the way queer spaces shove identities in boxes where there should be room for expression and error. Where is the line? When do we call something a mockery or satire? Where does good faith end and malice begin and who gets to make that call? This may not be answered for a long time now, and things like this may continue to harm people, but perhaps there should be lessons taught to help people distance themselves from online dog fights like this. Maybe there should be resources to help oneself guard against backlash like this. It's a tricky rope to walk along, since so much of this borders on censorship, suppression of discussion and the ability to defend groups against those that would seek to disguise in order to push harmful agendas.

I don't know. The only thing we can say for certain is that a writer tried in good faith to express her conflict with her identity, the horror of what it would mean to have gender weaponized and exploited in literal combat, and ended up fighting a battle that ultimately could have taken her own life. What's worse is that she got to see the true face of her peers, and watched as they tore her apart from behind the curtain. That must have been very hard to stomach and I applaud her for seeking help. I hope she's able to recover, and wherever she goes from here I only hope that it's up.

[jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels]

Don’t You Hear My Call Though You’re Many Years Away - Chapter 9

A/N: Settle in y’all, this is a long one. Things heat up between the Y/N and Deacy. And Y/N spends the day with Brian! Y/N slips up.

Warnings: Angst. Steamy moment. Mentions of drinking. Maybe one cuss word.

I imagine John playing “Something” would have sounded like this. https://open.spotify.com/track/0zi2LVUPp1gGssRSHgIW36?si=PIyL9IJ3QquJD6MIy1XGxQ

Before I knew it, a week had passed. I spent most days with John, others with Mary, sometimes Freddie and Roger, but all my evenings were spent with John. And just like that first night, he would walk me to my door, and leave me for the night.

But today I spending time with Brian, who I hadn’t had the chance to get to know as well as the others.

John was helping his friend again, Mary was working, as were Roger and Freddie, but when John asked what I would do with my day the previous night at the pub, Brian offered to show me around more.

I met Brian in the lobby of the inn around 11am.

“Good Morning, Y/N!” He said cheerfully as I made my way down the stairs.

“Hey Brian!” I greeted him with a hug and a kiss on each cheek.

Margret, the inn keeper, looked us distainfully. What she must be thinking. One man leaving last night and now a different one picking me up. She was nosy and miffed.

I wiggled my fingers at her, waving goodbye. She huffed indigently and walked away.

Brian caught the interaction and couldn’t help help but ask “what was that about?”

Laughing I replied, “she seems sort of nosy, and well John left me at my room last night, and now you, a different man, are picking me up.” I raised my brows in a ‘you know’ expression.

“Oh” Brian laughed softly.

“What type of woman does she take me for?” I clutched at my bare neck dramatically as we left the inn, causing Brian to laugh harder.

“You’ll be the talk of the city if you’re not careful” he added playfully.

“Where are we off to today?” I asked as he headed down the sidewalk towards the van.

“The observatory, if you’re alright with that” he said as he opened the door for me to climb in.

“I’ve never been to an observatory” I replied, causing him to smile.

On the ride there Brian talked excitedly about the observatory, giving me some of its history. He was softer spoken than Roger and Freddie, but not as much as John. He had a gentleness to him that was endearing.

His enthusiasm was catching, but it also could have been that I still wasn’t over the fan girl shock at times, so I was always excited about everything.

Once we arrived Brian showed me the equipment and explained what everything did. Telling me what I was looking at through the telescope. It was like having my own personal tour guide.

His enthusiasm didn’t waiver until he realized I hadn’t said much.

“Sorry” he said quietly, “I can get carried away.”

“Please, don’t appologized!” I replied, reaching out to touch his arm “I’m simply taking it all in. I never learned half this much all the years I spent sitting in the yard with my Dad looking through his telescope.”

“Oh, does he enjoy astronomy?” He asked, his curiosity peaked.

“He does. He took a few classes in college. He taught me about the constellations, unfortunately I can’t remember them all now.” I laughed “funny enough, my first word was ‘moon’.”

He laughed softly as we walked “really?”

“Yes” I continued “but I pointed to a light fixture when I said it.”

He laughed louder, causing a few of the other guest to look our way.

“A light? Priceless!” he said as his laughed subsided.

“One of my Dads favorite stories to tell about me.” I laughed.

**

After a few hours at the observatory, Brian and I made our way to a small pub for some lunch before heading back to their flat.

I was deep in my glass of wine when I decided to maybe give a few hints about myself away. Or at least where I came from.

“So tell me Dr. May, what do you think the future holds for space travel?” I started there.

“I’m not a Dr.” he replied.

“Not yet” I quipped, smiling.

“Ah well, space travel, hmmm.” He thought for a moment “more trips to the moon hopefully. Although they’re doing some pretty wonderful things right now.”

“Do you think people will ever go to another planet?” I promoted.

“That would be an amazing feat now wouldn’t it?” He said thoughtfully, “I don’t honestly know though. Technologically speaking, there would need to rather great advancements. But most planets would be difficult to reach and even more difficult to survive, completely inhospitable, at least given the equipment available now.”

“Ok, what about...” I paused “time travel?”

“Time travel? Well that’s different than space travel isn’t it?” He took a sip of his drink before he continued “Einstein‘s theory of relativity suggests it may be possible.”

As he explained I began to feel the truth bubble under surface again. The urge to tell, that was ever present, begging to come out. So many stories and secrets fighting to be told.

I knew I could trust him, I also knew he’d have so many questions I couldn’t answer. But my heart held me back. John was the one to tell, if I told anyone. But would he believe me? How would I tell him? And most importantly, when?

“What brought up time travel?” He asked as he finished explaining.

“I just like to read science fiction, that’s all” I lied.

“What have you read?” He asked. With that the subject changed, and I didn’t give any hints.

**

“Thank you for today, I had a wonderful time” I told Brian as we made our way into the flat. And it was true. I enjoyed spending time with him, getting to know him better. I kept breaking the rules as days passed. They were all becoming my friends.

“You’re welcome” he said allowing me in before him.

As I stepped inside I heard soft music coming from up the stairs, someone was playing a guitar.

I turned to look at Brian, “someone here?”

“It’s John” Brian said, nodding in the direction of the stairs.

I smiled at him before slowly making my way up, listening to the song he was playing. I recognized it quickly, he was playing “Something” by The Beatles.

Once I reached the landing, I quietly stepped towards the opened door and peered in.

John was sat on his bed, acoustic guitar in his lap. His eyes were closed as his fingers skillfully moved over the strings. He swayed slightly as his heel tapped, keeping time. He seemed lost in the music, in the moment.

I stood silently against the door jamb, taking him in. His handsome profile, the set of his mouth and jaw. His hair falling down his back. He was captivating. I could have watched him for hours. He began to softly hum the words of the song, and I could literally feel myself swoon. What was it about a cute guy and a guitar?

I watched him quietly, the moment was too serene to interrupt. As I listened, the inner turmoil that constantly lingered in the pit of my stomach halted. All the worry and fear melted away as he played. Calmness settled over me, a welcome break from the incessant angst. Everything seemed perfect in that instant.

But all too quickly the song ended. John still sat quietly.

“I read somewhere he wrote that about his guitar” I said softly, derailing his train of thought.

John jumped, causing the guitar to bounce on his knees, as he yelped.

“You startled me!” He exclaimed.

“Sorry” I couldn’t help but giggle. “That was beautiful, Deacy” I said as he stood to lean the guitar against his desk.

“Thank you” he said, bashfully. “You going to stay in the hall?”

“I didn’t want to barge in and disturb you.” I replied, stepping into the room. Taking it in fully. I hadn’t been in here yet, I’d only caught a few glimpses.

“I wasn’t thinking about my guitar playing that thought.” He said softly, as he closed the door behind me.

“Oh, you were thinking about you bass guitar then huh?” I asked playfully, smiling at him.

He swiftly stepped towards me, smiling before he pressed his lips to mine. His hands rested on my waist as mine wrapped around his neck.

I sighed happily as the kiss ended.

“Hi sweetheart” he whispers against my lips.

“Hi Deacy” I whispered back, my eyes still closed.

“How was your day with Brian?” He asked softly as his lips moved to my cheek. His hands moved gently, gliding up my back.

“Good” I exhaled, letting my head lull to the side, exposing my neck to his lips. He took the invitation and peppered my skin with soft kisses.

He moaned quietly as my hand found his hair, my fingers tangling in the strands.

His lips left my skin, and as I opened my eyes, he was staring at me as his darkened, smiling. His hands found their way under my shirt as he began to kiss me more deeply, making me moan in his mouth. Slowly we moved towards his bed, when I felt it bump the back on my knees, I broke the kiss. I pulled away from his grasp, toed my shoes off and climbed on his bed. Kneeling, I took his hands in mine and pulled him towards me.

As his lips crashed into mine, his hands returning to their spot under the hem of my shirt, while mine tugged at the buttons of his. His calloused fingers drifting along my back, his warm skin contrasted by the cold metal of the rings on his fingers. My body shivered from the contact.

Suddenly his door swung open and Roger burst in, “Deaks...shit! Sorry!” He bellowed, turning his face away from the scene before him.

I sat back on my heels, flustered, as John spoke gruffly “what is it Rog?”

“Oh” he said, peaking back at us, seeing the situation had changed, he faced us again “we’re having a party tonight. I wanted to see if you wanted to go to the shops with me...but I see you’re busy.”

“We’ll go Rog” I told him. John looking back at me questioningly.

“Thought you didn’t want an audience, love” he retorted.

“We didn’t have one until you came in” I said, cocking a brow at him.

“What do we need?” John asked.

**

There were more people in the flat that I thought possible. People chatting, eating, drinking, smoking, dancing. It was a bit like a frat party, the music and clothing may have been different but the situation felt similar. And still felt awkward for me.

Freddie and Mary were playing host and hostess, introducing me to people, and in some cases to John as well. People were interested in their new American friend, who they took on. Like I was some sort of stray, which wasn’t far from the truth.

Brian was there with a date, and a camera. Taking pictures of anyone who would let him.

Roger was flirting with a girl, and while I toyed with the idea of getting some payback for walking in on me and John, I decided against it.

John stayed by me the entire time. Touching me, kissing me, holding me. I was surprised at his public affection, but I enjoyed every moment of it.

Freddie pulled us all together, telling us he had news.

“We have more dates booked! A tour!” He cheered, raising his glass.

Brian and Roger flooded him with questions, like when and where.

“Cornwall, there’s 9 shows” he continued.

“We can stay with my Mum! She helped pull this all together!” Roger said cheerfully. It was cute.

John pulled me into an embrace, “we haven’t had our first show, I can’t believe we’ve got a tour!” He said excitedly.

“It’s going to be amazing. You’ll all be amazing!” I said as I kissed him.

Freddie poured more drinks for everyone. Tonight was a celebration.

After a few more drinks I didn’t give much thought to when Freddie took the camera from Brian and told him and I to stand together for a picture. It seems I had forgotten I wasn’t meant to be here. Taking photos was careless. Dangerous even. I was leaving a tangible trace.

But I was reckless. 

Brian slung his arm around my shoulder, and leaned his head down until his curls were laying on top of my head, making me laugh as Freddie snapped the picture.

“Now your turn Fred!” Brain yelled over the music. Why were they wanting pictures with me?

Freddie handed over the camera, and pulled me into a bear hug, squishing his cheek against mine for the picture. Smiling cheerfully.

“I want a picture with Y/N” Roger almost whined as Freddie spun me around.

Roger put his arm around my shoulder too, and as Brian shouted “ready”, Roger kissed my cheek, making me roll my eyes, even though I was still smiling.

“Mary and Y/N next!” Freddie said, pulling me towards her. We posed with our arms around each other’s waists, smiling happily at the camera as the bulb flashed.

“Now the lovebirds” Freddie yelled, as he pushed John towards me. We stood awkwardly together at first, not sure how to pose.

“Aw! Cmon! Act like you at least want to shag! Like earlier!” Roger yelled loudly, making people around us laugh.

I laughed as I turned my face into John’s shoulder. I wasn’t sure what poses or moments were captured as a series of flashes went off. The last one flared as I was looking up at John, smiling.

John sat on the arm of one of the sofas and pulled me to sit in his lap. I loved being close to him. Since I was pressed up against him, I decided to be a tease, seeing as I was still frustrated from our heated moment being interrupted.

As ‘All Right Now’ began to play over the stereo, I started to move my hips, wiggling them to rhythm. Like I would if I were driving in my car, listening to my favorite song.

As I started to move, I heard his breath hitch, and felt his body go rigid. His grip on my hip tightened as I continued.

After a few moments I could feel his excitement. I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder at him. His pupils were blown, as he swallowed thickly. He set his drink aside to pull my face to his, the kiss was hungry.

As I leaned back to look at him, his mouth was open slightly, his eyes dark. He leaned into me, pressing a kiss to my cheek before his lips settled on the shell of my ear.

“Let’s go to my room” he whispered.

“We’d defiantly have an audience now” I reply “but I know where there’s an empty room.”

@queensdivas @liliah39 @leah-halliwell92 @painkiller80 @painandpleasure86 @deakys-chesthair @yourlocalmusicalprostitute @heybuddy-drabbles @queenwouldyourathers @mirkwoodshewolf @ixchel-9275 @johndeaconstoothgap @deakysmisfire @thosequeenboys @tryin-her-best @amethyst-serenade @deacyspatronusisacheesetoastie @johndeaconshands @apailana @deakysgurl @john-deacon-fucks

[spockandawe]

HEY THERE, you have me interested in The Untamed but I'm a little lost as to where to start, there's both a 50 episode normal version and a 20 episode special edition, which should I watch/start with? Also WHAT does your svsss tag stand for? I'm seeing "The Untamed" and "Chén Qíng Lìng" and "Mo Dao Zu Shi" and "Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation" thrown around as synonyms or related pieces of media, but nothing with svsss!

Sure thing!!

Okay, to start with, I’d definitely go with the 50-episode version. It’s a Lot, and there is some padding added to the story compared to the original book, but twenty episodes seems really, really short to do justice to the central plot 

(a quick skim of google tells me that the special edition leans harder into the original novel’s gayness, which the show has to be coy about, because china. i think there are expanded scenes featuring the two leads, which is awesome, because their acting is AMAZING, but that just means the plot scenes are even more compressed. I saw at least one person recommend that you not do the special edition unless you’ve consumed the story in at least one other more standard format already)

Also! Iirc, the show is available on youtube and netflix, among other platforms, though those two are wonderfully accessible. However, comma, I do hear from people fluent in chinese that the subtitles sometimes are inaccurate in unnecessary/unfortunate ways. From what I hear, viki has the best complete set of subtitles (I think there may be fansub projects in progress, but I am not at all in touch with those. I still haven’t watched the show myself).

And the general summary of my current webnovel fixation! There’s this webnovel author who goes by mxtx, who currently has three complete books out, which have all been translated into english. Then after I finished those, I started branching out into other authors and webnovels, though I’m not too deep into that end of the pool yet. I’ll break each book into a separate paragraph for clarity. 

Oh, and. Each of these books is explicitly gay, and set in ancient fantasy china, in a wuxia/xianxia setting, which I’m not too familiar with myself, but I believe it functions a lot like how authors will use ‘ancient fantasy europe’ as a playground where they don’t necessarily need to match up to established countries/cities/etc, but they expect readers to recognize certain conventions, like I’d be able to recognize a western author writing a basic feudal setting, or recognize witches and wizards, without them explaining the whole thing from the bottom up. Since I’m not familiar, it raised the difficulty level a little for me to get into the genre, but the webnovel translators tend to use footnotes and I picked up a lot as I went on.

(if you are interested in any of these, novelupdates.com is a good central resource collecting links to various fan translation projects)

So! Mxtx. Her earliest book is The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (SVSSS), which is also the shortest and most linear of her books. The general premise is that a guy who’s been hate-reading this (straight) stallion harem webnovel with a dark protagonist. He goes to bed, and wakes up in the novel, as the protagonist’s dickbag teacher, who is doomed to eventually die horribly. He wants to not die, and is also a decent human being, so the book follows the “original” novel derailing from its intended path, and accidentally getting super duper gay. This one is about to come out in donghua form, but I think that may be its first non-book adaption.

Her second book, which was adapted into The Untamed/Chen Qing Ling (CQL), is also known as The Grandmaster Of Demonic Cultivation/Mo Dao Zu Shi (MDZS), which really manages to be the hardest of her books to summarize. Wei Wuxian, the grandmaster of demonic cultivation, dies. Thirteen years later, he wakes up in someone else’s body. Most of the world would like him to stay dead, tbh, but he’s a good egg, and he and his old friend(????) go forth and solve a necromantic mystery together, and also there is romance-romance and ten million family feelings. This one gets nonlinear, with several extended flashback sequences, and the story STARTS at about the midway point of the plot. This has been adapted into an audio drama at least once, a manhua, a donghua, and now a live action show, so it goes by a million different names in its various formats.

Her third book, and the LONGEST, is Heaven Official’s Blessing/Tian Guan Ci Fu (TGCF), and oh my god, it’s so long, and I love it so, so much. This gets into high fantasy much  more than the other two, including the idea that as people develop their cultivation and powers, they may eventually achieve immortality and ascend to the heavens. The story follows Xie Lian who achieved immortality and ascended to heaven! And then fell. And then ascended! And fell again. Eight hundred years later, he ascends for the third time. He meets Hua Cheng, the ridiculously powerful ghost king, who most of the other immortals are terrified of. But Hua Cheng seems to like Xie Lian! And Xie Lian thinks Hua Cheng is a sweet boy! (hua cheng is a sweet boy, but only for xie lian). This also has extended flashback sequences, but is a more linear story than MDZS, I think. Also it made me cry, which, wow, rude. I love it so incredibly much. This also exists as a manhua, but I think it’s still being published? I haven’t read it yet.

NOW. Mxtx is working on a fourth book, but it’s not out in chinese yet, never mind english. But I needed More. I was getting some SVSSS vibes from this one other book, which, *wobbly hand motions*, but I am enjoying the hell out of this book purely for its own sake.

Meatbun is an author with other books that I haven’t read yet, but I am currently in the middle of The Husky And His White Cat Shizun/Er Ha He Ta De Bai Mo Shi Zun (Erha/2ha), which is at this moment being adapted to a live action tv show called Immortality. There are MANY warnings that go with this book, though the google docs translation files do a good job of placing warnings at the front of every document and in front of relevant chapters. The general premise! Mo Ran basically conquered the entire world, put down all resistance by force, and was a super powerful but Kinda Dumb emperor. As part of this, he took his old teacher, who he despised with a burning passion, prisoner, and abused him a Lot. The story starts as rebels try to mount an assault on his palace, and Mo Ran’s cousin gets impatient with how slowly things are moving and runs ahead of the group. He finds that (suicide warning:) Mo Ran has... taken poison, and is in the middle of dying. This doesn’t stick. He wakes up as a teenager, apparently having traveled back in time, and starts living through events again, with the knowledge of his past life. It took me a while to warm up to this story, but ohhhh my goodness, it’s so TASTY. The translation for this one is ongoing, and I am in AGONY waiting for further updates.

So those are the ones I’m currently into and mostly blogging about! I also read Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir, mostly because feynite wrote an SVSSS fic set in the universe of that novel, which was good in some ways, left me cold in others (and the original novel is straight, with a society with rigid gender roles, so making it super gay in the fic made the setting much more interesting to me). Meatbun has other writing, which I haven’t sampled yet, but I am definitely interested in doing that sometime soon. 

Sorry, I know this is a LOT, so if you have any other questions feel free to ask me!! I got into these mostly via being interested in the untamed, so I read them as 1) mdzs, 2) svsss, 3) tgcf, 4) erha, which was an order that worked well for me. But if someone was looking for a general order to read them in, independent of that, I might suggest 1) svsss, 2) mdzs, 3) tgcf, 4) erha. They’re all really good, and scratch different emotional itches, and each of them has at least a few characters who sucker-punch me RIGHT in the goddamn heart. They’ve been a HUGE help for me dealing with the restlessness and/or apathy of quarantine, so I’ve been evangelizing them to pretty much anyone who will listen to me, hahaha

[theholycovenantrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, LIA! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF RAUM.

Admin Jen: Where do I even begin, Lia? Where do I even begin. Your app caught me by the heart the exact same way that Raum has gone on to covet and capture hearts of her own. I think she’s an easy character to undermine when you consider her underlying sentimentality, but you brought her to life in her viciousness and softness alike without letting one of them overshadow the other, and it’s exactly what I’ve envisioned for Raum. Your writing sample in particular was an utter joy to read, as it perfectly showcased that duality, and not only that but it also captured so many crucial aspects of Raum, all tied together in one amazing, heart-wrenching scene. Please continue breaking my heart with her -- I’m begging. Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

ALIAS | lia

AGE | twenty-two

PRONOUNS  | she/her

ACTIVITY LEVEL  | i’m a full time graduate student, so tuesdays and thursdays i’ll most likely be completely absent. other than that, expect me to pop in throughout the week. i can get kind of distracted ngl thx adhd

TIMEZONE  | pst

TRIGGERS  | REMOVED

HOW DID YOU FIND THE GROUP?  | i think i know the admins from somewhere i don’t rlly remember tho

IN CHARACTER

CHARACTER | raum, raym, räum — "space, room, chamber"

there is no grandiose tale to accompany raum's arrival in hell. there had been no rise and no fall— her state of existence could only be likened to tabula rasa, a blank slate, wholly unaffected by a past that was just out of reach. the sum of her existence had been hell and hell alone.

 lucifer and lucifer alone. he would never fail to remind her of this. the ceaseless parading of this fact, the whispers, the chilling reminders— all in his attempts to compel her into compliance— and appreciation. perhaps he once sought a more extraordinary use for her. perhaps he'd fallen victim to his own ego, an ego so inordinate that it left nearly every crevice and corner of hell untouched. perhaps he'd convinced himself that raum, empty and unaffected, could be fashioned into the quintessential soldier. re-education was often half the battle, so was raum not the ideal starting point? 

while raum held no memories of her prior existence, she'd grown to understand that it was not emptiness that festered inside of her, but absence. she was aware of the memories that she lacked. the knowledge that something was being withheld from raum made all the difference. it gave her something to chase. it allowed her something to fixate on and covet. she knew something had been stolen from her. she was not the vacant expanse that she'd been made out to be.

this was before it all. before heaven. before samael. before eve. before caphriel.

raum— who could lay no claim to an origin, no family, surname, or inheritance— had silently been offered a choice in who she would serve first and foremost— lucifer or herself? 

it was easy to choose herself. if she had nothing at all, she had herself and the lack that existed within her. this much she knew, and what she would carry as lucifer banished her to the outskirts of hell to keep guard. finally— raum discovered something akin to recognition. 

the darkness, the chasm where hell stopped and nothing began— would be an inscrutability that she recognized within herself. for the first time, raum would come to see the darkness as a possibility— as potential. she'd been a canvas stripped away of its imagery, painted over to be made blank, but the job had been executed poorly, and traces of what once existed in bits and fragments just outside of her reach. 

raum, who possessed no right of her own, would invoke her abilities to lay claim to the belongings of others. she began filling herself, the unoccupied room, with any or everything— as long as it was not hers. soon, she would make a collection out of borrowed memories, jewels, and hearts. even the slightest pang of jealously drove raum to action. 

yet, what use was filling an empty room with items that don't belong to you? items that don't have that same familiarity or ownership that comes with the rightful acquisition of something. and most of all— she could never figure out how to obtain what she coveted most of all. the things should could not have became what she desired most.

identity. belonging. purpose. history. 

—nevermind that, though. damien had anointed her in the flames of the new testament. he’d deemed her his vice of envy, and breathed purpose into her hallowed existence. but what of her past? what of the demon who would swallow heaven in its entirety, even if it devoured her in return?

WHAT DREW YOU TO THIS CHARACTER? | where do i even start?!?!? raum was the first character i fell head over heels for. even as i considered different possibilities, i always found myself right back on raum’s bio. she’s absolutely chaotic to her core, and i adore her all the more for it. from the contempt that took hold of her the moment reached hell, to her almost neverending pursuit of what she believes is owed to her. lucifer had done something unforgivable— and that was stripping her of her personhood. this created a gaping chasm, one she would silently resent him for even in his absence. what i find so fascinating about raum is how young of a demon she is how she deals with the insatiable longing festering within her— how jealously and greed exists in every aspect of her world— even in in her relationships with the few beings that she cares about. she is unapologetic of her possessiveness. she is unafraid to make what she wants known, and unafraid to pursue what she wants. she is fiercely loyal, and it is not easy to gain her trust. while some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, raum cuts a piece of it out for every person she comes to love— if they first offer her a piece of their heart in return. she possesses a passion that’s unmatched, emotions that are not regulated nor fully understood. i would love to bring this agent of chaos to the dash.

WHAT FUTURE PLOTS DID YOU HAVE IN MIND FOR THIS CHARACTER? |

from eden / few mortals have captured raum’s attention in the way that evangeline trame has. she is one of the several beings raum covets, and the only other mortal who'd successfully ensnared her attentions— with the first one being eve. nonetheless, raum wants more than anything for. evangeline to become one of her agents of chaos. she reminds the woman that they share more common ground than she may have liked. she also has a sneaking suspicion that the woman might be eve— this is a dynamic i'm very excited to see play out. will it be a game of cat and mouse? cat and cat? she promises evangeline everything she's ever wanted, but how much trust can evangeline put into the jealous demon? how can she prevent herself from falling victim to raum's tempestuous envy? raum is careful not to underestimate a powerful woman, and i'm excited to see how raum's pursuit of evangeline plays out. 

to be alone / samael had been the first being raum intertwined her existence with as. though it is samael who is her foundation— it is caphriel who is her mirror. she shares raum’s deep, inexplicable yearning for something they’d been denied access too, even if they couldn’t be anymore different in that regard. nonetheless, raum would like more than anything than for caphriel to belong to her— in the way samael has professed his belonging. when raum realizes that caphriel has changed him in ways she does not understand, when she realizes that something shared between them, something she is inevitably left out of… well, will derail her sense of self, as dramatic as that is. this is a triangle of chaos that i am excited to explore. will raum succumb to her jealousy, doing everything in her power to drive them apart? or will she come to accept their acquaintance for what it is— embrace it even? this is something i would discuss and plot further with the players, but i’m quite excited for it!

someone new / i want raum to gradually unravel the threads of her existence, but at a cost. what if raum were to discover that her past was not grand in the way that she desires if it does not fufill the emptiness permeating through her? this will be fun to play out on the dash, because there’s no telling when and how a memory will be triggered within her. i saw this as something that would occur sporadically, but eventually i imagine raum growing weary of the unintelligible fragments. she’s already pursued heaven, and who’s to say that she won’t search for answers in other places? perhaps she’ll seek out the priestess for the hundred eyed god, orias, or even caphriel. there’s no telling the lengths she will go to discover herself, and i am excited to play this out, especially as she grows increasingly restless and desperate in her attempts.

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE WITH KILLING OFF YOUR CHARACTER? | yes. my only stipulation is that she learns the truth of her existence beforehand. 

IN DEPTH

DRIVING CHARACTER MOTIVATION | the very absence that raum seeks to eradicate is the entity that operates her in her every waking moment. she wants more than anything to grow into her newly ordained role as vice of envy, but she cannot forsake her past and propel herself to the future like she truly desires. having been so close to heaven once, and now being so far, has only caused her fixation with the angels, and their potential associated tenfold. it is important that the distinction between admiration and fixation are made. between longing coveting. it is not love or hope raum sees when hers eyes linger on an angel for a moment too long. it is some parts greed, and every part jealously. they had what she did not— an entire world that was made without her in mind. what was not to want about that? raum’s adoration in heaven lies in her attraction to what is not hers. the farther the divide between her and the objects of her affection, the more she yearns for it. she is the vice of envy after all— and not an inch of the world will be left unaffected by her plundering.  

Character Traits | 

DEVOTED, PASSIONATE, INQUISITIVE

VINDICTIVE, POSSESSIVE, VOLATILE

In-Character Para Sample | TW DEATH

his hand did not leave the caress of her cheek as he met her forehead with a pillowy kiss. he could feel the entirety of her face turn upwards in delight— a faint blush now visible across her face. eye contact was barely broken, if only for a few moments as if they could not bear the sight of the world without confirmation that the other was there. delight and laughter capitulated through him as she recalled a fond joke, or perhaps a silly memory involving the two of them. nothing else mattered in that moment. not the drizzling rain, or the worn umbrella that was doing a half-assed job at shielding them. nothing mattered when love swelled their entire beings. 

raum watched with a curious expression at first. she was familiarizing herself further with the couple seated directly across from her, through a hardened, yet almost inviting gaze. perhaps raum had not been friendly, but there was something about her curiosity that roused something recognizable in others. perhaps this is why the woman’s eyes lingered on raum’s a moment too long. or perhaps it had been her staring at them for an extended period of time. 

he plants a kiss to her damp palm.

as she routinely twists the rings that line her each and every finger, raum can feel the curiosity gradually drain from her body, leaving something far darker in its wake. lazily, it begins to expand in her veins— outstretching itself like a lazy feline— finding comfort in the absence that occupied her every edge and crevice. it then begins to suffocate nearly every inch of her, twisting her heart and mind— her stomach now heavy and knotted. she draws the cup shakily to pouting, and downturned lips, eyes never drawing themselves away from the couple now in a loving embrace. 

there was no pulling away now, no denying the familiar covetousness that blistered her heart. invisible, excess envy brimmed at each of her edges. soon, raum’s envy would become no longer just a raum problem…

unblinking, she watched as the stranger told a story she could only make out parts of, as she began to center her envy in her core. nothing else in that moment occupied the chasm of her mind. not heaven. not samael. not her eve. not hell. not damien, lucifer— or even caphriel. not the sweat that began pooling at her temples, not the smudging of her lipstick on the brim of the coffee cup.

 it was her and her alone.

her heart, more specifically. raum could sense the goodness within her, the unbridled and unpolluted love. the woman had been sure of herself in ways that she was not. she’d been sure of herself and sure of her love— something raum could never begin to understand. she had been a being created for chaos— not a human free to pursue their heart’s desires. in that very moment, that woman possessed everything raum did not have. her grip on the coffee cup tightened, her lacquered hand offering no mercy to the now empty, suffocating coffee cup. had they’d ever been doubtful in their love? it did not appear so. how foolish of them to put so much stock into something as temporary and fickle as human affections.

but why had it been them? why had raum not been her? her body hummed faintly with something terrible, something wicked— something undetected by the naked human eye.why had that not been her? why had what they had not been hers? questions of why occupied her mind. questions she could no control, questions that threatened to burst from her at any moment. if she’d been human, her heart would’ve surely exploded. no other thoughts allowed her a clear exit from this newest fixation. it would take action to free her from this condition, from this longing that threatened to drive her to the brink of destruction. it would consume her if she did not consume it. if she did not feed it. and raum was never one to be consumed by another. 

as the coffee cup drifted from her palms, and as raum’s eyes drifted shut, she relinquished all control momentarily to her greed…

it was if raum momentarily exited her body and into the body of the woman. she felt everything she felt, even her subtle resistance, but she knew better than to get caught up in the inner workings of a mortal. that was how she tended to lose focus, and suffer the loss of an object. it did not take long to find her vivacious heart. raum wondered if the people she stole from truly understood what was occurring while it happened. she wondered if they truly understood that they’d fallen victim to the vice of envy. how much every object meant to her, despite how disposable she’d treated the people she’d acquired them from.

she’d uncovered her heart. a heart the woman had no intention of parting with, but whose intentions and needs fell on deaf ears. there was only one way to escape raum when she’d reached this point. diverting her focus or utter resistance was difficult for the mere, average mortal. even with all the love in the woman’s heart, even with her not being ready to let go of the man before her, she lost her will to fight at every moment. death had come for her, in ways she did not yet understand, but perhaps she would soon. her love had not been enough to save her. his love had not been enough to save her. 

there’d been no blood in raum’s acquisition, no visible marks left in her wake— only a woman now motionless in the man who’d once caressed her cheeks arms. his pleas, his panic, his perplexion all meant nothing. deep, wounded sobs wracked the entirety of his body, while a foggy, almost drunken haze settled within raum.

her love had not been enough. the temporary high had settled into a residual no. her love had not been enough. it was never enough because it had not her love to have. 

disappointment ushered through her veins. one of the stranger’s sobs had been particularly earth-shattering— not enough to draw attention from the empty expanse, but enough for raum’s eyes to flicker from the shadow that caressed her.

had she ever known that sense of loss? she had no way of knowing whether or not she’d been familiar with an unexpected loss. he’d now resorted to attempting to carry her body around the perimeter, searching for someone— anyone to restore his lost love. he paraded his lover around for a white flag— completely unaware that she’d was the most recent victim to the vice of envy. little had he known, but his pleas were no longer falling upon deaf ears. 

raum, finally rising from the shadows, approached the pleading man, who now was on the floor attempting to resuscitate his love. it was not pity she felt in that moment. if she ever did feel pity, it was immediately replaced with something more rotten, and she could feel the envy bubble within her once more. she was tired, but not exhausted enough for one more acquisition. 

she longed to feel the sense of loss he felt. the recognition that existed in his loss— one that was not present in her lack. though she’d lost her memories, it was difficult to mourn when being unable to pinpoint exactly what she wanted to mourn. how she longed for her sadness to be given direction. how she longed to have a specific entity to pour her grief into.

she drew closer to the man, lowering herself to his level, with his sobs eventually quieting as he met her gaze. 

i can make it all go away.

he was silent for several minutes before turning back to raum with a face sullied by grief. he would accept her offer.

part of her wondered if he wholly understood what he was agreeing to. if he truly understood the entity that hummed before him.

a cold palm extended itself, meeting the outline of his chest, and moments later, he would collapse alongside his love, his heart now entirely in raum’s possession. 

if only he understood that her love would have never been enough, she thinks as she wearily rises to her feet, beginning the trek back home, leaving the bodies to be discovered by someone unexpected.

samael would not believe her when she told him of the two hearts she’d stolen.

Extras | 

(NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN / I’LL CRAWL HOME TO HER) » SAMAEL 

in the beginning, there had been raum and raum alone. of course, there’d been lucifer, but she held little regard for her reviver. she had no intention of regarding him as her creator. even when being faced with the illegible chasm of her mind. there was purpose in the absence he continued to instill in her. if she could not remember a life before him— then that meant life was meaningless before him, for what use did she have of a life she knew nothing about? an intangible world that she only knew existed because of the lack it left her with— an emptiness she’d grown so familiar with. it was the void that never abandoned her; it was the absence she learned and grew to understand. it was lucifer’s omission that she could comprehend, far better than raum could even begin to understand another demon, with the shadows coming in a close second. and so, it was never raum and the demons, it was never raum and lucifer because she never belonged to them— not to him. that is why samael would become her fulcrum of time— why she conceptualized her existence as life before him and life with him. before samael, she recalls nothing— nothing of importance for that matter.

 there were the angels, but they were not hers, heaven was not hers, and she’d arrived at no real solution in her pursuit. what she could not have quickly took a back burner to what she was able to acquire. freshly fallen, with an unmistakable sense of shared loss, it would still take raum several months before she eventually materialized as more than a shadow in samael’s vicinity. inquisitorial to an almost meddlesome degree, she had no way of knowing her scrutiny would warp into something more— into something entirely separate from her fixation with heaven. it was with samael that raum would come to understand what it meant to belong to another being. before him, raum only knew what it meant to covet the possessions of others, whether it be material goods, or a sense of wholeness she could not achieve. she knew how to conquer and consume, but not how to give— never how to belong.

 she would joke about stealing his heart, or possibly an eye or two, and samael would remind her how fruitless this pursuit would be, a complete and utter waste of energy when he already belonged to her in his entirety. although, she was free to knock herself out, idiomatically and literally, as that would require a significant amount of her powers, causing an energy shift that made her tired to a humanlike degree. raum would roll her eyes in what had become routine between them, and her stubborn silence would become reminder enough that she belonged to him. 

EVANGELINE » (HONEY, YOU'RE FAMILIAR, LIKE MY MIRROR YEARS AGO) 

from eden did eve's aura rise, and in the crevices of raum's mind she would remain, sheathed in the carefully constructed shadows where memories once ventured. the universe offered her glimpses of something otherworldly— a being so splendid that raum could not comprehend them in her current condition. raum was first met with her divine fragments as she maneuvered through the dark pockets of the mortal realm. was it by chance that raum focused her sights on evangeline? or had their encounter been woven into the stars, as decreed by the cosmos? or was it because everyone who'd been in their way was now dead? no longer was lucifer or god there to regulate their memories for their selfish gains. 

raum knew this— evangeline knew this too. something shared passed between them as their eyes joined. it took only a split second for her to decide against taking anything from her familiar. so much had been taken from them already; she could not bear to see evangeline parting with anything else. not before finding what she was in search of, at least. raum needed the mortal woman as whole as possible— if she wanted to stand a fighting chance at discovering who she really was— whether she’d really been eve. her eve. with each encounter that followed, the mutual ground seemed to increase tenfold. in evangeline, raum recognized a profound chasm; insatiable covetousness left in place of her memories. a desire for something that could not be acquired on a quick whim, something not satisfied with material or capital gain. what raum promised was identity. recognition. this is what she continued to make known to her, through their sporadic encounters— though raum was always cautious about the practiced amount of distance she set forth between them. it allowed her the upper hand, but patience and discipline had never been her strong suits. the more she comes across evangeline, the greater her fixation becomes— as does the urge to unearth what's been kept from her for all these centuries. 

what could it possibly be that neither of us were meant to see? evangeline asks as raum's eyes drink in her bronze visage, reeling in her fascination to momentarily ponder a potential response for the mortal's question. i can't give you a specific reasoning unfortunately, raum utters as she frustratingly scans the fragments of her memories for the 1000th time. but why has always been fairly obvious to me. the knowledge we possessed posed a threat to their power structures. and two powerful men couldn't have that, now could they? a triumphant smirk coasts across raum's curious expression. nevermind them though. most kings get their heads cut off in due time. 

pintrest: https://www.pinterest.com/BLACKISMS/r-a-u-m/

[trylonandperisphere]

Though media reports of the protests have dwindled, organized demonstrations for racial justice are still underway.

By Fabiola Cineas 

on July 16, 2020 8:30 am

In the weeks following the police killing of George Floyd, millions of Americans marched in the streets. Many had never attended a protest before, and some lived in historically conservative towns. At the peak of the protests — around June 6, according to publicly collected data from the Crowd Counting Consortium — people across all 50 states and dozens of cities around the world had participated in demonstrations that called for racial justice and an end to police violence.

But with the protests came a nonstop news cycle that seemed to fixate on burning cars and buildings, and clashes between police officers and protesters. As long as there were riots and looting, television news helicopters descended upon their respective cities, with organizers lamenting online that the media wasn’t interested in stories beyond those of broken windows, pepper spray, and vandalized storefronts.

And now, almost two months after the first protests erupted, national news cameras have fled, which makes it hard for the general public to recognize that protests are still going strong in cities and towns across America.

In Louisville, hundreds of protesters continue in their mission to bring to justice the police officers involved in Breonna Taylor’s death. Protesters have engaged in a number of large-scale public actions, from converging on the steps of the state’s capitol building to disrupting a mayoral press conference and hosting “blackout” marches.

On Tuesday, which marked day 48 of protests in the city, activists traveled to the home of Kentucky Attorney General Daniel Cameron, where they sat on his lawn and demanded he bring criminal charges against the officers. More than 100 people were reportedly detained at the demonstration for trespassing, according to organizer Tamika D. Mallory, co-founder of the social justice organization Until Freedom. Even Wanda Cooper-Jones, the mother of Ahmaud Arbery, traveled to Louisville to advocate on Taylor’s behalf. (She also spoke to local reporter Senait Gebregiorgis while she was there.)

The momentum is similar in other cities across the country, such as Minneapolis and New York, where multiple demonstrations happen every day. However, mainstream news stories about the protests seem to only emerge now in the event of isolated violence (including multiple instances of suspected or avowed white nationalists running their vehicles into protesters) or protester clashes (like the recent spat between “Blue Lives Matter” protesters and counterprotesters in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn).

Local activists say the waning media attention is expected, but the work must continue. “We are in the biggest social movement this country has ever seen,” said activist Oluchi Omeoga, co-founder of the Black liberation nonprofit Black Visions Collective based in Minnesota. “When we say this is what will be written in the history books, it’s not an exaggeration. The folks calling for change in this moment are the folks who are going to be on the right side of history.”

The early news cycle’s focus on violence and destruction

Early news reports of the protests focused heavily on images of fires, overturned vehicles, and elevated scenes that distorted what was really taking place on the ground, with some pointing out that coverage seemed to exploit Black pain and violence.

On June 1, the front page of the New York Times read, “Twin crises and surging anger convulse U.S.” above a photo of protesters with their hands in the air and another showing police dressed in riot gear in a cloud of smoke. The same day, the Washington Post published an image of Minneapolis protesters crying and hugging one another after a truck ran through the crowd, with its own front-page headline reading, “U.S. at a precipice as demonstrations intensify.” (The bottom two images depict demonstrators at protests in Kansas City, Missouri, and Washington, DC.) And a San Francisco Chronicle headline on May 31 read “Riots, shooting rock Oakland” above an image of a protester standing with a fist raised in front of a dumpster fire.

The early coverage seemed “breathless,” Kanisha Bond, assistant professor of political science at Binghamton University, told Vox. “But that is not an unfamiliar tone when it comes to media coverage, specifically of urban uprisings involving both violent and nonviolent protest activity, and particularly when people who have been historically excluded from the traditional centers of American power are engaged in any sort of unrest.”

This was seen in the media coverage of the 2014 protests in Ferguson, Missouri, following the police shooting of Michael Brown. A Race Forward analysis found that news reports at the time largely lacked context explaining the “patterns of racially skewed police violence” that sparked the protests, with some not even mentioning the word “race” at all, Vox reported in 2015. Race Forward research director Dominique Apollon, who authored the study, told Vox that part of his advice to journalists was to “not take police accounts at face value.”

As Morgan State University politics and journalism professor Jason Johnson wrote for Vox in May, news coverage of uprisings often fails to show the full scale of protest activity — just because a few trash cans are on fire in one location doesn’t mean the entire city is on fire. Moreover, news reports of the Floyd protests didn’t always cover the cause of much of the violence: the police themselves. In many instances caught on camera, police used inordinate force against protesters who were silently marching or otherwise engaged in a peaceful group demonstration.

“Much of the damage attributed to protesters is often the result of police action or inaction in the face of lawful public behavior,” Johnson wrote. “Sometimes buried at the end of post-protest reports by local authorities is the fact that police munitions often start fires at protests, but this is seldom reported by the press, and there have been surprisingly few protesters arrested for arson relative to the fires that erupted during the unrest.”

Johnson also noted that news reports didn’t do much to highlight the presence of “run-of-the-mill opportunistic criminals” who seized on the moment to raid local businesses. For example, the media didn’t distinguish these actors from the protesters who, in a targeted effort, burned down the Third Police Precinct in Minneapolis, which was “a specific act of revolt.” The focus on damaged property over lost lives illustrated the media’s “misplaced priorities,” Johnson wrote.

Now, nearly two months after the first protests, a quick scan of the front pages of newspapers and digital media outlets would likely have one believe that the protests have altogether stopped. While they have surely shrunk in number and size, the social media accounts of activists and organizers continue to show compelling images of daily demonstrations.

In the past two weeks, there have been demonstrations in Sartell, Minnesota, and Keystone, South Dakota. Protests also carry on in Philadelphia, Houston, and Washington, DC. Meanwhile, in New York, the Instagram account JusticeforGeorgeNYC lists a collection of daily rallies, marches, protests, and vigils for Black people who have lost their lives to police brutality. On Wednesday, July 15, there are nearly a dozen events planned across Brooklyn, Queens, and Manhattan — from 8 in the morning to just before sunset.

News coverage can both help and hinder ongoing demonstrations

According to activists, the lack of coverage both hurts and helps protest movements as they continue through the summer.

On one hand, the absence of widespread protest coverage creates a false sense that the demonstrations have largely come to an end. “Some people do get their political cues from what makes its way into the general public discourse, which is largely shaped by what’s in the news, so media blackouts or withdrawals can give them the impression that either the ‘newsworthy part’ of the protests has expired or that there are simply no more events to be covered,” Bond told Vox.

The importance of protests as a tool for shifting public opinion is already evident in national polls. Monmouth University found at the end of May that 76 percent of Americans believe that racism is a big problem now, up from 51 percent in 2015. Other polls show that more people support the defunding of police than ever before. A June poll from the research firm PerryUndem found that 72 percent of respondents supported reallocating funds away from police and to other services like health care.

As political scientist Megan Ming Francis told Vox last month, systemic change begins with a shift in public opinion that’s brought about through protest. “The history of protest in this country is that when there’s more people, politicians pay attention,” she said. “If you want legal change, if you want political change, then it means you need to, at the same time or before, shift public opinion. That is crucial.”

On the other hand, some activists believe the constant presence of news cameras could hamper progress. If activists are constantly under the gaze and watch of the state, this could invite more violence on protesters and open up the opportunity for derailment.

“When the mainstream media steps away, we see even more clearly the vital function that independent media — including social media livestreamers — plays in providing a comprehensive and well-rounded accounting of protest and social mobilizations,” Bond told Vox. “The ubiquity of social media might attenuate any negative effects from a lack of media coverage — but how much is likely heavily determined by what sorts of information you allow across your online boundaries and within your social network.”

The most recent protest headlines at mainstream outlets — including the New York Times’s “Drivers Are Hitting Protesters as Memes of Car Attacks Spread” and USA Today’s “‘I would be very careful in the middle of the street’: Drivers have hit protesters 66 times since May 27” — focus on violence or arrests. Then there is CBS’s “87 people charged with felonies after Breonna Taylor protest at attorney general’s house” following Tuesday’s events, framed around protesters trespassing on an elected official’s property. When news outlets cherry-pick moments of violence to cover or criminalize protesters, they are choosing drama and sensationalism over the larger narrative — that the biggest anti-racism movement in a generation is still happening in the US.

“It comes down to what is considered newsworthy, which is often action, large numbers, and apparent mayhem,” Bond told Vox. “Burning buildings, smashing glass, and bleeding people are often visually riveting and can add a sense of vicarious danger and unpredictability, while direct actions like sit-ins, public education sessions, street parties, and/or meal distributions don’t offer people that sense of ‘ooh, what’s going to happen next’ the way that other actions might.”

The fight for justice lives on

Activists recognize how much has changed in public opinion since the first Floyd protests — and that’s why they haven’t stopped organizing. According to Omeoga, protests have taken place every day in Minneapolis since Floyd’s fatal arrest. Omeoga told Vox that part of what’s been missing in the coverage that has existed is expanding what we mean when we say “protest” or “public demonstration” to fully capture how people are mobilizing.

“The occupation of ‘George Floyd Ave,’ the place where he was murdered, is an act of resilience or a protest. We have been occupying that space every day since George Floyd was lynched. Folks are protesting for change in the simplest terms,” Omeoga said. “Folks are protesting for Breonna Taylor, Tony McDade, Riah Milton, and Dominique Fells. Folks are protesting against police brutality and state-sanctioned violence and for interpersonal violence against Black trans women. Folks are out protesting for Black lives.”

According to Omeoga, the media largely focused coverage on the peak of the protests because “that’s what they think people are interested in,” she said. “We have been conditioned under this capitalist society to only find value in things for very short, transactional periods of time. The media affirms that in the ways they show what is worthy of news and what isn’t.” For Omeoga, left-friendly platforms like Democracy Now and Unicorn Riot are alternative media outlets that can help people stay up to date.

Ashton P. Woods, an organizer with Black Lives Matter Houston, recognizes that while coverage may now only extend to protests that feature celebrities or to protests where politicians are present, he can’t get comfortable and rely on politicians to do the work. “We have a responsibility to protect what we have secured for ourselves and dismantle white supremacy,” Woods told Vox.

That work, he said, doesn’t mean having to show up in the streets. With the number of coronavirus cases surging across the country and its disproportionate impact on Black, Latinx, and Native American communities, Woods acknowledges that people have to mind their health and the health of friends and family and community members. The work can take place in online seminars and gatherings that educate people who are new to the movement. For Woods, in Houston, it also includes showing up to courts and to city hall to pressure Texas lawmakers to sign legislation that tackles systemic racism. And moving forward, he said, protests must continue to create safe spaces for all Black lives, including women and trans, queer, and nonbinary people.

“There’s been an erasure of what we are really protesting for, like the Black LGBTQ community or the Black immigrants — all Black lives matter,” Woods told Vox. “We’ve been doing this anti-racism work since before Trump got into office. We’ve been planning, coordinating, and doing the type of work that doesn’t get on the news for a long time.”

The lack of attention and accountability by lawmakers means protesters have to keep elevating their message, whether in the streets or online, he said.

[bowcrazy]

Tsurune Flower Analysis—the Twins and Shuu

Senichi & Manji

アマリリス/Amaryllis (JPN)

Amaryllis have quite a few meanings in hanakotoba, with one of them seemingly contradictory to the other meanings. First, we have ‘splendid beauty’: the twins, like much of the cast, are definitely attractive (perhaps them being twins give them an extra boost?) so that speaks for itself.

Next up are ‘pride’ and ‘talkativeness’, which one could very easily relate to Senichi and Manji given the way they act about themselves and towards most other people. Particularly with their no holds barred way of speaking and how they seem to intentionally rile up some that they know can’t say much against them due to their difference in ability. In both the novel and anime we can see their pride in their technique as archers (at times to the point of haughtiness), so much that they’re not afraid to go toe to toe against someone they feel they can best in archery. This is particularly best illustrated in the novel (book 2, chapter 1 part 2). The twins were unmatched at their current middle school until they saw Shuu perform at a competition, which at the time they saw as a challenge. It’s very much known the both of them admire Shuu’s skills, but their underlying motive was to initially get close to him to ‘steal his skills’. However, their intentions changed not too long after.

Which brings me to the last, 内気 (uchiki). Most translations would give you ‘timid’ or ‘shy’ but the word also means ‘unsure’ or ‘diffident’, hinting at a lack of self-confidence. I feel the latter meanings apply better to the twins, though the anime understandably hasn’t touched up on contents from book 2 as much, but we see a better hint of this early into it. In the same chapter Senichi, describes himself as a ‘cheap, insignificant existence’ against someone like Shuu especially after the prefectural tournament, which is quite a blow to himself considering that between the brothers, he idolizes Shuu more. As for Manji, the same feeling comes earlier than his brother’s, dealing with his bout of hayake which—as we’ve seen with Minato—heavily derails an archer’s confidence. During the finale, he’s even shown crying, the weight of Kirisaki’s loss and his own frustration about contributing to it likely coming down on him.

Amaryllis (Western)

The Amaryllis flower with its unique design is simply eye-catching; it’s no wonder it holds the meaning of beauty and attention. In the Victorian Era, they considered these flowers as a symbol of one’s vanity and strong pride. To this day, people have associated these flowers to these meanings. Considering these messages, it’s accurate to match them with the twins. When they first appeared on screen, they’re shown bickering with each other about hitting the other’s target. Motomura comments on their fast shooting and anyone watching would clearly be entranced by the speed of their release, wondering how anyone could hit at such a pace. How they talked with Kazemai upon meeting them and insulted their team as well as made fun of Minato’s hayake shows them to be prideful and cocky.

Their ability to shoot faster than anyone and manage a hit also captures the attention of the viewers, much like the flower itself with its unique design. Being prideful also means they strive for attention, and we can see how the twins seem to do just that for Shuu. Their trait of firing insults to their enemies also raises their potential for having enemies, and that can be considered as getting their opponents’ attention as well. However, despite their prideful acts, no one can deny that the twins also have a sort of beauty in them. Appearance-wise, their similarities also make them unique from others. But under all their cockiness, they can also have a soft side to them as shown by how their character improves as the story progresses in the novel. We also get to see a difference in their personalities which can make them distinguishable after Manji develops hayake, and that can be considered a beautiful development for these two.

Shuu

チューリップ/Tulip (JPN)

In hanakotoba, white tulips can signify “lost love”. When we mention love, people immediately consider romantic or passionate love, but in this case, there is a difference when you consider the kanji (失われた愛) where the character for “love” is read as “ai” and can be translated in the general sense of love. Associating this with Shuu could mean the love he had lost from his mother. In the novel, it was explained how Shuu’s mother never treated him as her own son with the excuse that she’s no good with children. Shuu was taken care of by nurses and his grandparents as he grew up. From this background, we can grasp the idea that he was unable to obtain the love of a mother since childhood. Another thing we can consider about lost love could be his love for kyuudou. In the last episode of the anime, Shuu missed his final shot because he wasn’t “looking at the target”, unlike Minato. This means he was more focused on his opponent than on his own form. His insecurity grew and little by little as he had lost the actual meaning of doing kyuudou.

In the OVA, Masa-san compares kyuudou with falling in love and stated that Shuu had never been in love. He says that doing kyuudou involves entering a state of ego-annihilation, where one exists with only an awareness of themself and the bow. Shuu may have loved kyuudou, but he has yet to reach this state as Minato and Masa-san have, and we have yet to find out if he will anytime soon.

The flower also holds another meaning: Fame. This we can easily associate with Shuu considering how he’s known in various schools as the unstoppable Young Prince. With his skills in kyuudou and the beauty of his form and shots, everyone is easily enthralled just by watching him. His record of being unbeatable also makes him well-known.

Tulip (Western)

Tulips have a rather romantic meaning in the English world. General meanings are fame, charity, declaration of love, perfect lover, perfect/deep love, and rebirth. Meanings specific to the color white include worthiness and forgiveness. “Fame” can possibly allude to Shuu’s reputation in the archery world and as the Young Prince within Kirisaki due to his immense skill, as it’s been implied that he has some level of popularity at Kirisaki. “Declaration of love” could point towards Shuu’s feelings towards archery or that famous scene in Episode 8 at the end where Shuu told Minato to ‘take responsibility.’ “Perfect and/or deep love” may be alluding to Shuu’s deep appreciation of archery. “Rebirth” in the metaphorical sense could likely refer to Shuu’s slowly changing attitude about kyuudou; in the anime, he says that one shouldn’t shoot for the sake of someone else, though it sounds more cutting than what Shuu actually means. The director mentions the particular line in their interview in the fanbook and says that when Shuu says this he does recognize Seiya’s skills as an archer, however, as someone who strongly cares about kyuudou, he’d like if Seiya cared more about improving himself because he cared about the sport rather than just for Minato’s sake. Ultimately, at that point Shuu regards kyuudou as something you improve at for your own sake, the members of Kirisaki noting that he doesn’t really give advice or offer help unless you approach him. But in chapter 1 of book 2, he voluntarily asks Minato for advice to help with Manji’s hayake, later even joining Sase and Motomura to ask their coach to let Manji remain in the team as both the twins would quit should Manji have been dropped from the main team. He even says (in chapter 2) that he’d like to remain in a team with them.

sources under the cut

Sen/Man (JPN) (1, 2, 3)

Sen/Man (Western) (1)

Shuu (JPN) (1, 2)

Shuu (Western) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Ey, so, what happened is that I posted a Schitt's Creek fic late last night and went to bed.  Then I overslept and went to work and then went straight to some family stuff after work, so by the time I checked up later this afternoon, there were not only comments, but also Discourse in the Comments – enough Discourse in the Comments that I decided that in addition to staying up late tonight to answer individual comments (which is a great problem to have! Fuck sleep, moar comments!), I should probably Address the Discourse in one go so I wouldn't have to repeat myself quite so much.

This is, arguably, a big mistake, since at the end of the day, people feel however they feel about the story, and they're certainly entitled to their feelings.  For the most part, my chosen medium for self-expression is fiction, and I figure that if I failed to express myself adequately in the fiction, too bad for me. But what the hell, it's Pride and I like to hear myself talk, so if there is anyone who has questions or weird feelings about the choices I made in this story, I'm making this bit of my Writing Process transparent for you, so you at least know why I did what I did.

The gist, for onlookers, is that there's a moment deep in the middle of this David/Patrick story where Patrick says David is bisexual and David goes along with that, which rang false to some people because elsewhere in canon, David's father describes him as pansexual instead, and we generally assume – and I also assume! – that he does so because that's the label David prefers.

I feel like the easiest first layer of this to peel off is that, yes, Patrick is wrong.  Patrick – a deeply closeted small-town boy with few or no close ties to The Community – hears his friend and co-worker talking about relationships with men and women, and he thinks to himself, “Oh, okay, he's bisexual, then,” because to most of the world, that's what bisexual means.  I think he would have no reason to second-guess himself on that, or wonder if there's another term that David prefers.  Patrick literally doesn't know enough about this issue to know that he might be wrong about it.  What Patrick thinks he understands, he doesn't fully understand, and that's intentional, because the whole story is about Patrick being in this “messy middle part,” where he kind of doesn't know the rules and doesn't get things right.

That, I think, came across clearly to most readers, but there was still this question of, well, couldn't I have written David correcting this mistake, at that moment or somewhere else in the story, so that the reader would understand that I know Patrick is wrong and that I, personally, am not condoning the general practice of disregarding people's chosen labels.

And of course I could have.  I didn't for two reasons, one of characterization and one of theme – but that's not an objectively correct choice, it's just the choice I made in service of this particular story.  A different writer could have gone a different route and written a different story, and maybe that would've worked just as well!  But it wouldn't have been a good call for this story.

First, just as a basic point of characterization, it's my take that David Rose actually doesn't feel strongly enough to object.  We don't ever see him identify as anything – we see him talking freely about past experiences, but the one and only time he's called on to explain what he is to someone else, it's the scene while shopping with Stevie where (albeit through the lens of what I still feel is a somewhat labored metaphor), he gives a version of Ye Olde “I don't like labels” speech.  To me, David is a pretty recognizable type: he thinks of himself as liking lots of stuff and free to do what he likes without being boxed in by other people's opinions, and he's carried forward with the exact same attitude he deployed when he came out to his parents: “I'm doing this, deal with it.”  So even though I was aware, and I knew the reader would be aware, that Patrick was wrong, my thought on what seemed natural to David as a character was that I didn't really see him caring about the issue enough to derail what was actually going on in that conversation.  That's my read on the character, and it may not match yours; that's fine, it doesn't have to.

However, characters aren't real and don't make decisions; writers do.  It would be absurd for me to say, “Well, this is out of my hands, obviously it would happen this way, because Characterization.”  I could have structured the whole scene differently, and I didn't.  Instead, I wrote a scene where, arguably, a personal of marginalized identity is mis-labeled and doesn't seem to mind that much, and I think one fair response to that scene is to say, Maybe don't volunteer to write scenes that work out that way, when instead you could write in such a way as to demonstrate that you're on the side of not mis-labeling people of marginalized identities.

I did volunteer to write that scene, because I do think this story required that scene.  When David says, “It's okay if you are, too” – even though he knows full well that it's not true – what he's actually saying is, “If what you need right now is a label for yourself that's factually wrong, I'm giving you permission to use it.”  David is not bisexual and neither is Patrick.  This is a scene where David explicitly gives Patrick an exit route if he needs one, where David is actively prioritizing being protective and comforting with Patrick over requiring Patrick to tell the truth.  It's an act of generosity on his part, and it's an act of bravery on Patrick's part to refuse it. It's a brief exchange, but it's absolutely central to the moment Patrick is at, where he can't say true things yet but won't say false ones anymore, and the moment completely relies on the reader understanding that this word they're talking about – “bisexual” – is a dishonest word in this context.  They're discussing whether or not it's okay to be dishonest, and David's take is “sure, if you need that, then do it” while Patrick's is “that would be going backwards and I'm not letting myself down like that.”  David and the reader know that it's a dishonest word in both cases, while Patrick only recognizes that about himself, because again, there's a lot that Patrick doesn't know yet.  He's just now learning.

I write a lot of scenes that are “two people in a room talking,” and if done badly, those can be excruciatingly dull.  I don't like dull; I like writing things that feel taut and have forward motion and tension, because I think that's what makes a scene memorable.  So every time I sit down to write yet another “these two dudes are going to be in a room talking for a while” scene, there are questions I ask myself about what's happening here and why it should happen, because otherwise I'm violating the first and only law of fiction, which is Don't Waste Your Reader's Fucking Time.

The first question is: what's the premise here?  What's the situation that confronts these characters, that they're going to be responding or reacting to?  And the other question is: how are they going to respond and react to that situation in two productively different ways – ways that are in conflict or incompatible or in competition?  If I know what's going on, and I know how these two people are seeing it differently and making different arguments about what should happen next, there's a natural tension of competing agendas that wants to resolve itself at the end, or carry over to the next scene.

In “1001,” my premise is: Patrick is undergoing a process of transformation with regard to his sexual identity that takes time and doesn't really proceed linearly and logically.  That's what's happening.  The way he's responding to that is, he's frustrated and embarrassed, because he feels like he's failing to master this situation, like it's getting the better of him no matter how he tries to set rules for it.  The way David is responding to the premise is, he's trying to curb and mitigate these ways that Patrick is judging  himself harshly, trying to get Patrick to accept that the middle is just messy and things will be a mess until they aren't anymore.  Patrick is facing a challenge, and they're ultimately in an argument about whether or not Patrick is failing it.

That's why I wanted Patrick to be wrong about certain things – I wanted him to authentically be kind of messy, which shows up in little ways from how he can't get the till counted and he can't say gay and he can't put his finger on the song he's thinking of, and not yet speaking the insider-language fluently is part of that.  But more importantly, that's why David's reaction couldn't really involve correcting Patrick's use of the insider-language, because the whole meaning of the story is that David is actively refusing to agree that what's going on with Patrick right now is a problem that needs correcting.

A startling number of writing issues are actually philosophical issues, and this is probably one of them. Like I said, fiction is my main medium for telling people what I think about the world, and the role that I have David playing in this story, as the older, more experienced queer person, is what it is because I have been the older, more experienced queer person trying to figure out how to help someone who's brand new to everything – and what I've come to believe through these experiences is that while there is a time and a place for educators, for being the person who says “actually, that's not quite right, we say or do this instead of that,” the on-the-ground reality is that if people are still in a state of extreme vulnerability and self-doubt, they have a far, far greater need for people who will affirm them rather than instruct them.

Someone in Patrick's place, who is stuck between an old belief and a new self, who feels like they're failing and floundering, who thinks it's easy for other people and hard for them because they're messier or more broken or more cowardly than everyone else, deserves to be received with compassion and told that messy is fine, not knowing is fine, this process is normal and they are fine.  The story I wanted to write was about David giving that grace and spaciousness to Patrick, and it ended with Patrick accepting it at least enough to say “this will just take care of itself if I give it enough time” about the song thing, which stands in a bit for his problem-solving approach to the whole situation (because then we know as readers that when he finds the “best song” he's unlocked the whole thing, and we know that's coming, just like David told him the end would come).  It's my opinion that having David double back, at any point in the story, and say “actually, that's not quite right, you should have said this instead” would have fatally undermined everything about the alternative argument David is presenting about the nature of Patrick's situation.  Patrick is the one who worries about getting this right; David is the one who wants him to be okay with being wrong for now.

And like most writers, when I set up those dueling arguments, I am actually coming down on one side or the other by the end: David's side.  I didn't have David correcting him because I think David wouldn't correct him, but even more than that because I think the nature and structure of this story makes it ethically right for David to hold back from correcting him.  I think he's the one being the hero here, by accepting Patrick's messiness and imperfection and just taking the approach of, yeah, it's all new, it's tough going, but even though you don't feel fine right now, you are fundamentally fine.

You as a reader don't have to accept that moral argument.  You can think it would have made David a better person to model a commitment to truth, to set a higher standard and ask Patrick to live up to it.  That's okay!  It's totally fine to be like, “I see that this writer wants me to feel one way about this, but actually I just don't, I think that's dead wrong.”  Other writers are going to tackle stories about what it feels like to be part of Patrick's coming-out story, both in his role and in David's role, and those writers can and should make their own best arguments, in stories that are built to be about whatever they want to say about coming out.  Those stories will just be different from mine, which is great, that's what having a voice as a writer means – that you're thoughtfully constructing stories in ways that express how you see the world, not how anybody else does it.

And if you read “1001” and you cared enough about it to have an opinion, I genuinely appreciate your time and the thought you put into it.  Thank you.

[oberlincollegelibraries]

Sunday Edition: Celebrating Black Authors

Welcome back, Obies! We hope you all had a restful winter shutdown, a productive winter term, and stayed warm and cozy (hopefully with a good book) during the polar votex last week!

In case you are new to the OCL blog, here is a quick refresher for you: Sunday Edition is a weekly article that highlights new books which can be found on display in Azariah’s Cafe, located on the first floor of the Mary Church Terrell Main Library. We hope our suggestions encourage you to take a break every once in a while to enjoy books outside of your academic workload. 

This week, to celebrate Black History Month, we are highlighting five books by Black authors. There is something for everyone: history, fiction, memoirs, and even a play! Be sure to browse the rest of the new book shelf to discover even more new reads by contemporary Black authors!

Contemporary Black Women Filmmakers and the Art of Resistance by Christina N. Baker:   Christina N. Baker’s Contemporary Black Women Filmmakers and the Art of Resistance is the first book-length analysis of representations of Black femaleness in the feature films of Black women filmmakers. These filmmakers resist dominant ideologies about Black womanhood, deliberately and creatively reconstructing meanings of Blackness that draw from their personal experiences and create new symbolic meaning of Black femaleness within mainstream culture. Addressing social issues such as the exploitation of Black women in the entertainment industry, the impact of mass incarceration on Black women, political activism, and violence, these films also engage with personal issues as complex as love, motherhood, and sexual identity. Baker argues that their counter-hegemonic representations have the potential to transform the narratives surrounding Black femaleness. At the intersection of Black feminism and womanism, Baker develops a “womanist artistic standpoint” theory, drawing from the work of Alice Walker, Patricia Hill Collins, bell hooks, Audre Lorde, and Kimberlé Crenshaw.

Analyzing the cultural texts of filmmakers such as Ava DuVernay, Tanya Hamilton, Kasi Lemmons, Gina Prince-Bythewood, and Dee Rees—and including interviews she conducted with three of the filmmakers—Baker emphasizes the importance of applying an intersectional perspective that centers on the shared experiences of Black women and the role of film as a form of artistic expression and a tool of social resistance.

How Are You Going to Save Yourself by JM Holmes:  Bound together by shared experience but pulled apart by their changing fortunes, four young friends growing up in the postindustrial enclave of Pawtucket, Rhode Island, struggle to liberate themselves from the legacies left to them as black men in America. With potent immediacy and bracing candor, this provocative debut follows a decade in the lives of Dub, Rolls, Rye, and Gio as they grapple with the complexity of their family histories, the allure of sex and drugs, and the ferocity of their desires.

Gio proves himself an unforgettable narrator, beautifully flawed and unstintingly honest, as he recounts his friends’ triumphs and failures. Whether it’s a family cookout gone wrong, a raucous night in high-society Manhattan turned dark, or the troubled efforts of a hustler to go legit, JM Holmes brings the thump and heat of his scenes to life with the kind of ease that makes us not just eavesdroppers but participants.

How Are You Going to Save Yourself illuminates in breathtaking detail an entire world—one that has been underrepresented in American fiction. At times funny, often uncomfortable, occasionally disturbing, these stories fearlessly engage with issues of race, sex, drugs, class, and family. Holmes’s blistering and timely new voice, richly infused with the unmistakable rhythms of hip-hop that form the soundtrack to his characters’ lives, delivers an indelible fiction that has never been more vital and necessary. 

Pipeline: a Play by Dominique Morisseau:  With profound compassion and lyricism, Morisseau brings us a powerful play that delves into the urgent issue of the 'school-to-prison' pipeline that ensnares people of color. Issues of class, race, parenting, and education in America are brought to the frontlines, as we are left to question the systematic structures that ultimately trap underserved communities.

Bill Duke: My 40-Year Career on Screen and Behind the Camera by Bill Duke:  While many film fans may not be familiar with Bill Duke's name, they most certainly recognize his face. Dating back to the 1970s, Duke has appeared in a number of popular films, including Car Wash, American Gigolo, Commando, Predator, and X-Men: The Last Stand. Fewer still might be aware of Duke's extraordinary accomplishments off-screen--as a talented director, producer, entrepreneur, and humanitarian.

Bill Duke: My 40-Year Career on Screen and behind the Camera is the memoir of a Hollywood original. In an industry that rarely embraces artists of color, Duke first achieved success as an actor then turned to directing. After helming episodes of ratings giants Dallas, Falcon Crest, Hill Street Blues, and Miami Vice, Duke progressed to feature films like A Rage in Harlem, Deep Cover, Hoodlum, and Sister Act 2. In this candid autobiography, Duke recalls the loving but stern presence of his mother and father, acting mentors like Olympia Dukakis, and the pitfalls that nearly derailed his career, notably an addiction to drugs. Along the way, readers will encounter familiar names like Danny Glover, Laurence Fishburne, Forest Whitaker, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Whoopi Goldberg.

From his Broadway debut in 1971 to the establishment of the Duke Media Foundation, which trains and mentors young filmmakers, Duke has been breaking the rules of what it means to triumph in the entertainment industry. Recalling pivotal moments in his life, Bill Duke: My 40-Year Career on Screen and behind the Camera is the story only Bill Duke could tell.

How to Be Less Stupid About Race: On Racism, White Supremacy, and the Racial Divide by Crystal M. Fleming:  How to Be Less Stupid About Race is your essential guide to breaking through the half-truths and ridiculous misconceptions that have thoroughly corrupted the way race is represented in the classroom, pop culture, media, and politics. Centuries after our nation was founded on genocide, settler colonialism, and slavery, many Americans are kinda-sorta-maybe waking up to the reality that our racial politics are (still) garbage. But in the midst of this reckoning, widespread denial and misunderstandings about race persist, even as white supremacy and racial injustice are more visible than ever before. Combining no-holds-barred social critique, humorous personal anecdotes, and analysis of the latest interdisciplinary scholarship on systemic racism, sociologist Crystal M. Fleming provides a fresh, accessible, and irreverent take on everything that's wrong with our "national conversation about race." Drawing upon critical race theory, as well as her own experiences as a queer black millennial college professor and researcher, Fleming unveils how systemic racism exposes us all to racial ignorance--and provides a road map for transforming our knowledge into concrete social change. Searing, sobering, and urgently needed, How to Be Less Stupid About Race is a truth bomb and call to action for everyone who wants to challenge white supremacy and intersectional oppression. If you like Issa Rae, Justin Simien, Angela Davis, and Morgan Jerkins, then this deeply relevant, bold, and incisive book is for you

[journeysintowebcomics]

Worm Liveblog #65

UPDATE 65: Breaking Down

It has been a while! Here I thought an internship would be a somewhat lighter workload than my usual work, but it has me even busier. Not what I expected. Anyway, here’s today’s update.

Last time Crawler tried to reach Noelle in the depths of Coil’s base, and Cherish went to tell his brother he’s screwed. There’s one last Slaughterhouse Nine member to appear, it’s Bonesaw’s turn. Let’s start.

Amy, as in Amy Dallon, as in Panacea. That’s the person this interlude is focusing on. Either whoever Bonesaw’s aiming for is someone Panacea knows – in that case Glory Girl seems a likely option – or it’s Panacea herself. Interesting choices, anyway. From the two I think Panacea is more likely to be tempted to join, maybe out of frustration of always having to be the good Samaritan due to her powers, since it was already shown she’s under emotional stress because of that. Not a guarantee, though, because Panacea also seems to have a very clear-cut opinion of what’s right and wrong. That’s likely to deter her from even thinking of joining that group.

The scene opens with Panacea reading a letter. She found it on her mother’s bedside table, and due to the header and logo she saw, she took it to read. Also!

Carol had probably been reading it to him late the previous night, and maybe forgot to put it away due to a mixture of exhaustion and the distractions that came with waking up each morning to a disabled husband and a ten-year career in jeopardy.

Oh, right, I think I remember something like that. I remember her husband had suffered quite the injury during the Leviathan attack. It was related to his spine, if I recall correctly. Or maybe I’m getting confused and what I remember was about a person dying from a broken back. I see why this woman’s hero career is on the verge of meeting its end. It’s a good thing she has a good reputation, judging by how the letter is offering her a job.

The letter itself is much more important, though.

Marquis, interred in the Baumann Parahuman Containment Center, confided to another inmate that he fears for his daughter’s life.  I have checked the facts to the best of my ability, and the details I have been able to dig up match with his story.  I must warn you that Allfather may have arranged for Amy Dallon to be murdered at some future date, in revenge for his own daughter’s death at Marquis’ hands.

Honestly it took me an embarrassingly long time to remember Panacea doesn’t know who her father was – a total of three paragraphs. How could I forget such a basic fact? True, Panacea is a side character, but still...anyway, that Marquis man is Panacea’s father, and she had suspected it. Maybe. There’s good reason for them to fear Panacea may be attacked and killed, knowing what I know about Allfather, he has the resources and people to try to kill her.

What a time for a Slaughterhouse Nine member to appear, Panacea is clearly upset about what she just found out, therefore she’s vulnerable emotionally. With some luck she won’t make a decision she’ll regret.

Back when Brockton Bay was a hotspot for villains, Marquis was rather well-known, to the point now in the present he’s still someone people talk about. He was an osteokinetic, meaning he can manipulate bone and wow, that sounds like a painful thing to do to yourself. I hope his power included his nerves not registering any sensations from his own bones being manipulated. Now he’s in the Birdcage, and Panacea just found out about his existence. Something that’s bothering her is that it’s said Marquis was a rather callous person, and she’s afraid she’s being the same because she isn’t feeling anything towards the people she heals, she’s apathetic about that now.

Personally I think the fact she’s aware of it means she’s unlikely to ever be as ‘heartless and cold’ as Marquis was. Awareness really helps to avoid such things.

Yeah, it seems Panacea suspected something was off and that Marquis may have been her father, but it seems to be everything she had was circumstantial. This here is the solid proof she needed to know for sure. Not that she’s happy to know. She’s so unhappy and shaken by the revelation, and it doesn’t help that Brandish enters and looks at her accusatorily. There’s drama, hm.

Former hero Flashbang is...well, technically he’s not paralyzed. He’s amnesic to the point he forgot everything he could do, even the simplest actions. Oh, wow, that’s serious damage. Guess I was wrong about it being his spine.

It was technically amnesia, but it wasn’t the kind that afflicted someone in the movies and TV.  What Mark had lost were the skills he’d learned over the course of his life. He’d lost the ability to walk, to speak full sentences, hold a pen and drive a car.  He’d lost more – almost everything that let him function.

Okay, I’m not an expert in amnesia and I don’t really have time to look what it’s about, so I may be wrong: generalized amnesia – the type you see often in movies and TV – means that you lose your memories and sometimes identity, but everything you know how to do, your skills, your common sense, it all stays. For him to have forgotten so much, well, it must be very extensive damage to his brain. Dang, poor guy...

Glory Girl is the same way than Brandish: being rather cold towards Panacea. Okay, something really did happen, and I don’t think it’s related to the letter. Usually that letter would make a person worry about them, not ostracize them. Maybe...

...

Amy felt her pulse pounding as she looked at Mark.  Made herself sit on the couch next to him.  Does he blame me?

Maybe the reason why they’re blaming Panacea is because she can’t do anything to heal Mark. She doesn’t want to touch anything related to the brain, and since he has amnesia, that’d fall under that category. They have a competent healer who routinely goes around healing parahumans and patients at hospitals, yet in the very same house she lives in there’s someone she can’t help. It’d be ironic if it wasn’t so freaking sad.

Amy had learned a few years ago, overhearing a conversation between Carol and Aunt Sarah, that Carol had initially refused to take her in.  Her adoptive mother had only accepted in the end because she’d had a job and Aunt Sarah didn’t.  One kid to Aunt Sarah’s two.  When she’d taken Amy in, it hadn’t been out of love or caring, but grudging obligation and a sense of duty.

...wow. That really ruins the image I had of this family. I knew Glory Girl was a rather zealous hero, and that Panacea had a load of trouble and personal drama, but I had the impression they generally were a well-adjusted family. I’d have never imagined there was this kind of tension among them. Mark tried to be supportive and be a father, but his clinical depression didn’t help. Victoria was the only one who received Panacea well, and now she’s being distant too. Things sure took a turn for the worse for Panacea. Honestly, the more I read, the more I fear she really would be interested in joining the Slaughterhouse Nine.

Victoria was appalled, seething with anger, brimming with resentment, because Amy couldn’t, wouldn’t, heal their father.

By now they should all be used to Panacea’s personal rules. I know there’s a personal and emotional element here, and maybe if I were in their position I’d recent Panacea too, but from my point of view as a spectator, they really should know by now why Panacea doesn’t mess with the brain. She has her own rules, and given it’s her powers and her experiences, surely she knows better than anyone what she should do and not do with her healing powers. They’re being kind of unreasonable – at least that’s how it seems to be as an observer unattached to most of all these characters.

Brandish’s coldness towards Panacea has a different reason, though.

Marquis was one of the organized killers.  He had his rules, he had his code, and so did Amy.  Amy wouldn’t use her power to affect people’s minds.  Like father, like daughter.

Again, I’m sure Panacea has her reasons to have her own rules. They really should know by now!

Unable to endure all this pressure and coldness, she decides to leave her family before they get even more distant. She’s old enough to take care of herself, and I think a power like hers could be enough for her to live, so she should be fine. Before leaving forever she wanted to try heal Mark, for it to be the parting gift. Hm. Brandish may see Panacea running away as the confirmation she’s up to no good. I hope Glory Girl will appreciate this.

She doesn’t get to even approach Mark when everything derails. The TV Mark was watching is off, and it’s doubtful he did it. No, he’s not dead, he just has company, company he can see is bad so he’s trying to move, maybe to get away. Not that Bonesaw was being subtle at all about how dangerous she is:

The girl turned to look at Amy, and Amy saw that some of the dirt that covered the girl wasn’t dirt, but crusted blood.  The girl wore a stained apron that was too large for her, and the scalpels and tools in the pocket gleamed, catching the light from the lamps in the corner of the room.

Nobody would dare mess with her.

Panacea recognizes her, pleasantries are exchanged. For a moment she thinks Allfather may have arranged one of the Slaughterhouse Nine to kill her. Unlikely scenario, even if they weren’t looking for candidates. Surely he has nothing to do with this.

Bonesaw isn’t alone, there’s someone else with her: Hatchet Face, who somehow is alive. Verh battered, but alive. Okay, something’s wrong. I don’t doubt Cherish was able to defeat and kill Hatchet Face because otherwise she wouldn’t be alive, but still, how’s this possible? His powers may be intact, too. Panacea starts running away, but another Hatchet Face blocks the way.

There were two Hatchet Faces?

Then the first one exploded into a cloud of white dust and blood spatters, momentarily filling the room.  Amy could hear Bonesaw’s giggling, felt her heart sink.

Something is...off about this. I know very little about Hatchet Face other than what the characters have said, but they never said he could copy himself or anything like that, much less copies that can explode in gore. I think there’s something I don’t know yet—oh, wait, there it is. It was revealed immediately, and I’m a bit regretful about wanting to know.

“Get it? You figure out what I did?  Turn around, Hack Job.”

Amy had figured it out, but Bonesaw’s creation demonstrated anyways.  He turned his back to Amy, and she saw what looked like a tumorous growth on the back of his head, shoulders and arms.  Except the growth had a face, vaguely Asian in features, and the lumps inside the growth each roughly corresponded with organs and skeletal structure.  The jaw of the figure that was attached to the back of Hatchet Face’s body was working open and closed like a fish gasping for air.  The stitches were still fresh.

“You mashed them together.  Oni Lee and Hatchet Face.”

She fused them into the appropriately named Hack Job, creating an abomination that can duplicate himself and disable powers. That sounds like it has the potential to be rather overpowered. I don’t think Oni Lee’s copies burst into clouds of dust and blood, this here may be a side effect from the mashing she did.

Leaving that aside, wow, that’s a really creepy image. I can’t avoid wondering how exactly she made this work, and I think it’s better I don’t find out.

“Yes!  I can’t even begin to tell you how hard it was. I mean, I had to conduct the operation from a remote location, using robots, because I would lose my Tinker powers if I got too close to the big lug.  And I had to fit their bodies and nervous systems together so that they could use their powers without messing up the other.”

Fine. That’s vague enough to not be as horrible as I feared. Still...now I wonder how exactly their bodies nervous systems worked this. Hatchet Face and Oni Lee’s powers were rather unusual; they didn’t involve their own bodies transforming or anything like that. What they did was affect something away from their bodies, like for example Hatchet Face made other parahumans lose their powers. I can’t for the life of me imagine how his body made that happen! Maybe some sort of psychic field from his brain...? But I digress. Back to the interlude.

Since he’s here, and Bonesaw just said the powers are intact, I suppose that means Panacea’s healing won’t be available right now. She won’t be healing Mark soon. Although, frankly I fear he’s going to get killed here, just to make Panacea hurt. If that happens, then Glory Girl and everyone else would blame Panacea for this too, they’d think if she hadn’t been here, this wouldn’t have happened. Let’s hope that fear of mine doesn’t turn real.

The way Bonesaw is describing Hack Job, it sounds like it’s barely sentient. Hatchet Face is the one that controls it, while Oni Lee is...there and feels everything Hatchet Face feels. That means Hatchet Face now controls Oni Lee’s powers too? That could mean he’s not as experienced as Oni Lee, and could make mistakes, I hope!

The parahumans who can affect the human body in some way are rare, and Bonesaw thought Panacea would appreciate her work precisely because they’re similar on that regard. To showcase her skills even more, she makes a few of her creations enter. Needless to say, this is nightmare fuel. I’ll spare you the descriptions.

Okay, maybe not. Why the heck does this woman have machetes on his fingers and toes. Bonesaw may be a brilliant genius when it’s about working with human bodies, but there’s no way this has mobility. I’ll take this as brilliance from Mr. Wildbow’s part, since Bonesaw is, what, fourteen or so years old, it’d make sense for someone so young not properly think about the finer details despite her power.

Another one is like a centaur, just that instead of having the body of a horse, he has a torso growing from where his neck would be. The result has to walk on four feet, using his knuckles as front legs, no doubt because there’s no way it could keep its balance if it stood upright. Wow, that’s...I’m not sure if it’d be better or worse to know what happened to you, if you were the guy who moves this body.

Last, there are boxes that move with legs that end in tools like scalpels or syringes. Neat! Neat and horrible. Okay, Mr. Wildbow, you have my attention with Bonesaw. Being the last member of the Slaughterhouse Nine, she had to reach expectations that were already pretty high, and she has done it. This is good stuff. I like this.

Since it was already established this girl recently has been meshing bodies together, she explains to who belonged the bodies she has worked with.

“Murder Rat used to be a heroine, called herself the Mouse Protector.  One of those capes who plays up the cheese, no pun intended.  Camped it up, acted dorky, used bad puns, so her enemies would be embarrassed to lose to her.”

Oh, those exist in this universe too? Mouse Protector...I wonder why she called herself that. A fondness for rodents? Any...uuuuh...any rodent appearance she has right now is Bonesaw’s work. So, this parahuman got meshed with the body of someone who hated her. The other one has a different story.

“The other, I’m trying to figure out a name.  The one on the bottom was Carnal.  Healer, tough, and healed more by bathing himself in blood.  Thought he had a place on our team, failed the tests. The one on the top was Prophet. Convinced he was Jesus reborn. What do you call a mix of people like that?  I’ve got a name in mind, but I can’t quite figure it out.”

For a moment I thought the ‘healer’ meant he healed other people, and I was starting to ponder how exactly bathing yourself in blood would help heal anyone. That was stupid of me. He tried to be in the Slaughterhouse Nine and failed, so now I hope everyone they’re trying to recruit doesn’t fail, because judging by this, failure just means Bonesaw will have bodies to work with. It’s a fate worse than death, if you ask me.

Prophet sounded kind of familiar, like he was one of the few that was in the Leviathan fight. I went back and checked, and looks like I was wrong. Oh well.

You know, since Mark is in this place, and Panacea is here too, I’m growing increasingly concerned about this. I don’t know how Bonesaw’s personality’s like, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she chooses to take Mark and, if Panacea fails the tests, fuse her to him. It’d be a nasty surprise for everyone.

Apparently Bonesaw’s approach is to say she wants a big sister. Well...that’s a new one! Whether she’s being sincere or not a different topic altogether. Maybe she does want a big sister, maybe she doesn’t and this is just her way to try to convince her to join.

Bonesaw pouted a little.  “But think of the stuff we could do together.  I do the kludge, the big stuff, you smooth it over.  Imagine how Murder Rat would look without the scars and staples.”

This isn’t going to convince her at all. True, Panacea would be capable of doing that, but I don’t see any reason for her to want to. I may be proven wrong if she does for some reason feel willing to join, though. The Slaughterhouse Nine characters aren’t stupid except by one glaring exception, I’m sure they know about Panacea’s father. That could be something to exploit.

As expected, Panacea’s immediate reply is to say no, although it’s not, uh, it’s not an assertive reply at all. Not that it matters, I bet Bonesaw would have reacted the same way if Panacea had been more vehement about her refusal to join. She just smiles and pins Panacea down with Hack Job, while Murder Rat shoves her machetes against Mark’s face. Hoh, going to threaten Mark’s life? The odds in this ending in bloodshed keep increasing.

“Jack’s taken me on as his protegé.  Teaching me the finer points of being an artist.  What he’s been saying is that I’m too focused on the external.  Skin, bone, flesh, bodies, the stuff we see and hear. He’s told me to practice with the internal, and this seems like a great time to do that.”

Somehow I have the feeling Jack doesn’t mean internal as in internal organs. She’s going to try some insidious actions, won’t she? Aim to break Panacea’s heart and soul. There’s a chance it won’t be effective given that it seems Bonesaw isn’t experienced in such thing, but I’m not going to bet on that.

Indeed, Bonesaw intends to push Panacea towards her breaking point, break her enough to make her want to join. Great timing, simply perfect, striking just when she’s vulnerable from being alienated by her family and found out who her father is. But, much to my surprise, she doesn’t aim at any of that, Bonesaw’s taking another direction.

“You’re a healer, but you can do so much more.  Why don’t you go out in costume?”

Amy didn’t respond.  There was no right answer here.

“Are you afraid to hurt someone?  That could be our first exercise.”

Well it is true Panacea can do much more than just healing. Her threats towards Skitter about changing her body in some way that was unrelated to her injuries kind of hinted that. I suspect Panacea can modify a person’s biology in some ways, but she doesn’t like to do it. Maybe because she has restraint and knows she should limit herself to healing. Modifying a person’s body without permission is a huge invasion of privacy, and that wouldn’t mesh well with the hero image. Gotta work that good PR, yo.

To encourage her to hurt people, she’s ordered to hurt Murder Rat, and is warned that if she leaves her in a state where she can move, then she’ll hurt both Panacea and Mark. That’s a good incentive, I have to admit that, one I think Panacea wouldn’t resist at all. She was considering helping Mark, and although Panacea could heal Mark’s new injuries, I doubt they’ll be just injuries, he’ll die sooner or later. Glory Girl’s family wouldn’t like that at all.

And she does! She hesitates just for a moment before using her power to have an idea of how Murder Rat’s internal workings are like, and finds out an easy way to make her unable to move – dissolving the ligaments of her joints. Without ligaments you can’t move. It happens in no time, they just dissolve. Task...completed? I...don’t know if Bonesaw will be satisfied with this. I imagine she had something different in mind, but hey, she did just what Bonesaw told her to do, she made Murder Rat be unable to move and hurt them.

“I’m surprised you didn’t kill her.  The healer, letting someone suffer like that.  Or are you against mercy killing?”

I bet she used Murder Rat for this because of the contraption around her heart, the one that crushes it if the control frame was disabled in any way. Maybe all her creations have it, but as I see it, she may have meant her to use the way to kill she provided right there.

No death? Then this isn’t over yet! Centaur guy, from now on called Pagoda, gets on the metaphorical stage, and since Bonesaw is looking to make Panacea kill, guess that means he’s as good as dead. That’s for the better.

There’s a mechanism inside Pagoda that’ll kill him, yep, but instead of being needles around his heart, it’s around his spine. Sounds like he’d suffer a more painful death than Murder Rat. Bonesaw is really, really twisted. Not wanting to take part in Panacea’s games, she tries the same she did to Murder Rat, she tries to dissolve the ligaments.

“He heals,” Bonesaw informed her.  “Two regenerators in one.  There’s only one good way to stop him.  Try again.”

He’s as good as dead, seriously! I doubt Mr. Wildbow would let Panacea die at a time like this. There must be a way to do it without having to bury who knows how many needles into his spine, I hope!

While Bonesaw counts town the seconds, Panacea examines the heart, finding out that instead of needles, there are canisters of liquids. Doubt whatever’s in there is instant. Right before she runs out of time, I...I think she makes the canisters pour the contents onto the heart? It’s not specified, but that’s what makes sense the most. Whatever she did works, he slowly dies, rather slowly.

“A chemical trigger for something I already put in his DNA, when I was patching his regeneration abilities together.  Reverses the regeneration so it does the opposite, starting with the heart.”

Don’t tell me he’s going to decompose in minutes right here and now. Oh, geez...

She shivered. It had been so easy.  Was this what it was like for her father?  Had she just taken one more step toward being like him?

Well, to be completely fair, I really doubt Marquis did everything he did with someone nearby threatening him. He did all that of his own volition, as far as I know. He took every decision by himself, and earned that reputation of being heartless with his own two hands. That’s a huge distinction between Panacea and Marquis, and I hope she understands that, despite what she just did. Heck, I’m sure absolutely everyone would think this was a mercy-kill, like putting down a suffering animal. Better this than continuing to be under Bonesaw’s control.

Even after killing, Panacea refuses to join, saying she doesn’t want to hurt anyone, answer Bonesaw doesn’t like. She’s even encouraged to get onto the light side – nobody’s going to accept a Slaughterhouse Nine member anywhere else other than in the deepest pit in the Birdcage, I’m afraid. If they leave her alive, that is. There’s no way this’ll be so simple a ‘you could be good’ will solve anything.

There we go! Panacea is being more assertive! And Bonesaw doesn’t seem to understand, she keeps insisting Panacea has to join. What’ll be the next move, I ponder? Not backing down and continuing to try to find the breaking point. Nobody can say Bonesaw isn’t persistent. She strikes a bit closer to Panacea’s many problems when she asks why she hasn’t healed Mark despite living near him all this time.

“My power doesn’t work on brains,” Amy lied.

“You’re wrong,” Bonesaw said, stepping closer.

...a shiver ran down my spine when I read the ‘Amy lied’ part. I took at face value that she couldn’t modify brains. But, you know, it’s a strange feeling, I feel like this isn’t supposed to be a big reveal. Maybe it had already been revealed before and I don’t remember it?

Panacea’s power does work on brains. Does that mean she can heal things like neurological connections in the brain, and create neurons? I’m certain she can do that, it should be quite easy for her to make cells grow, even if they’re cells that don’t usually grow again. Or could her power extend to the more complicated and delicate parts such as personality? Hm...

Bonesaw has experimented with normal civilians, forcing them to have trigger events, studying the details of such event. I’m willing to bet none of them survived being taken apart. Maybe Bonesaw right now has a collection of bodies, ready to mesh them together whenever she wants. If not to do that, then maybe she’d keep them around so she’d have raw material to use.

“You don’t have to.  What you need to know is that the subjects of our power, the stuff it can work on, like people?  Like the fish lady in Asia?  The boy who can talk to computers?  Our powers weren’t created to work with those things.  With people or fish or computers.  It’s not intentional.  It happens because the powers connect to us in the moments we have our trigger events, decrypt our brains and search for something in the world that they can connect to, that loosely correlate with how the powers were originally supposed to work.  In those one to eight seconds it takes our powers to work, our power goes into overdrive, it picks up all the necessary details about those things, like people or fish or computers, sometimes reaching across the whole world to do it.  Then it starts condensing down until there’s a powerset, stripping away everything it doesn’t need to make that power work.”

I...think...I understand? It’s late in the night and I’m half-asleep at times right now, but I think I understand. Basically, the power isn’t meant to be so specific. The power should work in a different manner, but for whatever reason it doesn’t. Instead, it takes the form of something that makes it be similar in some vague manner to the powers’ function. Or something like that, I think. I wonder if this applies to characters other than Panacea...is it a coincidence Bonesaw is using as example the power of controlling specific stuff, Mr. Wildbow? Because Skitter does that with bugs. Maybe she was supposed to have a power that’s different yet not so different, like it was meant to control something but not insects. Kind of farfetched, in my opinion, but that’s what I’m understanding from Bonesaw’s revelation.

The powers then adapt so it can be contained by the body without destroying it. All this happens in matter of seconds after a trigger event, the one that happened during the Merchants’ party seems to fit with this. The description made it sound like such a painful and traumatic thing, the power being activated, I mean. Makes sense.

Bonesaw looked down at Amy.  “Your inability to affect brains?  It’s one of those protections.  A mental block.  I can help you break it.”

Maybe it was a combination of an instinctual knowledge about how she shouldn’t modify the brains, and her self-imposed rules. For Bonesaw to get the result she wants, she needs to make her overcome both things. It...it sounds possible, unfortunately. Not everyone has unbreakable willpower.

Panacea’s continued refusal to try it just makes Bonesaw be even more excited about getting her to break those boundaries, and for that she decides Panacea needs a harrowing situation. I expected her to try to harm Panacea again, but this time she uses one of her mobile machines and makes it get on Mark’s face.

Thanks, Mr. Wildbow, I sure wanted mental images of a long needle being thrust into someone’s nostril. I’m going to have nightmares about that tonight. Bonesaw saying Panacea will be thankful doesn’t help.

Once Panacea gets a chance, she touches Mark’s face to try to assess the damage to his brain, and of course a needle that leaks acid is kind of a nasty thing, so of course the prognosis is pretty bad. I don’t know what’s the extent of Panacea’s powers, but will she be able to neutralize the acid? True, she’s capable of modifying organs and biology to some extent, but doing something to Mark’s brain so it can counter the acid is a bit of a dangerous ordeal. The mere sound of it sends shiver down my spine.

The process takes much less than you’d think restoring the brain of a man with brain damage would take. Even those areas she can’t do much with at first she manages to fix, just by finding out what those do by examining the surrounding areas. It doesn’t sound like it’ll be perfect, but he’ll live! And be a functional human again! Still, I have to wonder:

Can she restore his powers? Were they affected by his nervous system damage? If so, now that she’s restoring his brain, does he have them back, the same way they used to be? Bonesaw over there is capable of messing with powers, she proved that already, but she has experience and stuff, Panacea is…well this is her first time. Even if she says she knows she can do it, I’m not taking it for granted.

It wasn’t that she was afraid to get something wrong.  No.  Even as complicated as the mind was, she’d always known she could manage it.  No, it was what came after that scared her more than anything.  Just like finding out about Marquis, it was the opening of a door she desperately wanted to keep shut.

Only time will tell if this is good or not. I think it’d be most defined by people’s reactions. I’m sure if everyone found out Panacea can heal the brain, she’d have a million more patients to heal, as if she didn’t have too many already. I can imagine her frustration would grow, and so would the guilt she feels because she can’t heal everyone. Maybe that’s what Bonesaw is going for, maybe she’s playing the long game, and once Panacea gets more and more fed up about having to be the good Samaritan she has to be because of her powers, maybe she’ll visit and try to convince her again. Learn to play with the mind, Jack told her, and doing that would qualify as playing with the mind indeed.

Oh, good, he does have his powers again! I’m pretty sure Bonesaw knew that after healing a superhero there was no way she wouldn’t get attacked, so everything that’s happening now must be something she foresaw. One of the Hack Job copies materializes in front of her, taking the brunt of a light sphere Mark threw at her, and more appear. The small machines also attack. You know, if Hack Job wasn’t here, I’d think the recruiting chance was over and done, but since he can disable powers…well I’m expecting at any moment for that to happen.

...or not. It didn’t. He actually managed to fight quite well, and although he didn’t hit Bonesaw and she got away, Mark is okay and Panacea is okay. The only ones who died or got horribly mangled today are Bonesaw’s creations. Death may be a better fate for them, anyway. Mark puts Murder Rat out of her misery, and thanks Panacea for healing him. All is well that ends well?

Now that the excitement is over, Panacea is free to return to her room and finish her preparations to leave. Mark is aware she’s leaving, and...well he’s not trying to stop her. I’m not sure what to think about that. Maybe he’s being neglectful, maybe he’s respecting her decisions. It’s hard to know what exactly are his intentions here. She’s leaving and that’s the final word, though, she even has a note ready. See you, Panacea.

The intermission isn’t over, though.

It would be better this way.  Maybe, after weeks or months, she could stop worrying, stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, for everything to fall apart in the worst way.  She’d already had to face finding out about Marquis.  She’d taken a life.  She’d broken one of her cardinal rules.  She wasn’t sure she could take any more.

Two of her rules, actually, although she was going to break the one about modifying the brain before Bonesaw arrived, so maybe she wasn’t counting that one. Still, even if things get quiet again, I don’t think she’d return to the family. This all sounds very final. I wonder where this character will go from now on, even if I’m not that fond or interested on Panacea, I admit I’m curious to see what else will happen with her.

After the line break, she’s out getting caught for breaking curfew. Nothing can go according to plan for poor Panacea, eh? And even worse, her sister was the one who found her. Glory Girl is here, and she wants to know what’s going on! This will be the final obstacle in Panacea’s plans, will she continue even after talking with Glory Girl? Will she return? This here should test her willpower.

“Geez, what’s going on?  Amy, we’ve been together for a decade.  I’ve stood by you.  I’d like to think we were best friends, not just sisters.  And you can’t tell me?”

To Glory Girl’s credit I’ll say, she sounds so genuinely concerned about Panacea I think it’s heartwarming. Despite the many faults Glory Girl has, I have always felt she cares a lot about Panacea, and that’s something I like a lot. Gives her dimension to her character, which is good, given how she has so little time to shine compared to others. Honestly, although her first appearance back in that interlude didn’t impress me much, I admit I have grown to like Glory Girl to some extent. Not enough to say I <i>like</i> her, but I want to see more of her.

There we go, the bank robbery incident is mentioned and about how Panacea was hiding a secret, secret she hasn’t told anyone offscreen all this time. There’s also what she told to Skitter at the hospital...uuuuh...okay, give me a moment to check.

She leaned close, so her mouth was by my ear, “Not so fun, is it?  Let me tell you, this isn’t a hundredth of the mind-fuckery that your teammate was pulling on me, back then.”

“That wasn’t-” I stopped.

“What? Wasn’t you?  You stood by and watched it happen, played along, took advantage of it.  Or maybe you were going to say it wasn’t that bad?  You really don’t know.  You don’t know me, you don’t know Glory Girl, you don’t know what Tattletale was saying, how she was threatening to ruin my life.  Imagine the person you care about most, finding our your darkest secrets. Secrets that, even if they eventually came to accept it, you know they would taint and color every single conversation you have with them afterward.”

Aaaah. I had completely forgotten about this. During the bank Tattletale said Panacea would have to deal with the fallout of her secret coming out, and here she’s specifically talking about the person she cares about the most. What she’s afraid the most is...about Glory Girl finding out, perhaps? I’d really think it was being Marquis’ daughter if she hadn’t found out for sure in this interlude, here she sounds completely certain of the consequences of her secret.

I’m not sure what to think. It must be really bad if it’ll drive such a wedge between her and her sister, but I can’t even begin to imagine what it could be. Betrayal of some sort is what’s crossing my mind, but I don’t think Panacea has the ill will necessary to betray Glory Girl or even the rest of the family.

Turns out Panacea was right; Glory Girl did resent her for leaving Mark to suffer all this time. Although maybe she just found out she can heal him, when she returned home. Who knows.

“I love you,” Victoria said, stressing the ‘I’.  She dropped to the ground and stepped closer.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Idiot,” Victoria grabbed her sister by the shirt collar and pulled her into a painfully tight hug.

I’m so glad Panacea can rely on Glory Girl, even if she never returns home, just having Glory Girl’s support will be invaluable. Even if the rest of her family doesn’t love her, Panacea can be certain Glory Girl does.

Panacea doesn’t try to get away after the first contact, she stays there while Glory Girl insists they’re going to solve it all as a family, or only the two of them, if necessary. In a moment of weakness—eh? Okay, so sometimes I say aloud the stuff I write in these updates before typing them, and I made the most confused noise I have made in quite a while. That ‘eh’ doesn’t make it justice. Something’s happening, there’s a lot of build-up about Panacea doing something barely consciously.

Victoria let go of her, pushed her away.  “What did you just do?”

Amy could see the revulsion slowly spreading across Victoria’s face.

Whatever it was wasn’t subtle. I expected surprise, anger, a demand of an explanation, but I didn’t think there’d be revulsion. Did Panacea do something to her insides? If so, it must have been a considerable change because you don’t usually feel what happens inside yourself unless it’s pain.

Panicking, Panacea tries to offer to revert whatever happened, Glory Girl still demanding an explanation, and says Panacea changed her way of thinking. Ah. So she modified her...I would say brain, but this seems deeper than that. Personality? The way of thinking isn’t an organ, whatever she did can’t have been simple. Panacea’s already trying to take it back, undo what she accidentally did, but Glory Girl isn’t letting it happen.

“You have feelings for me,” Victoria answered.  She couldn’t keep the disgust out of her voice, she didn’t even try. “That’s what Tattletale was using as leverage, wasn’t it?”

...oh.

...

...

...

...well no wonder she was so afraid of anyone finding out! And of course Glory Girl isn’t taking it well. It’s starting to sound like Panacea inadvertently burned another bridge. She’s already in a fragile state of mind, I don’t think she’ll take well the loss of Glory Girl’s support. Even if they get along again, I doubt Glory Girl’s going to forget this anytime soon.

“When I was at the lowest point in my life, when the boy I thought I might marry someday was dead, were you secretly elated?  Were you happy Gallant died?”

“No! Vic- Victoria, I love you.  I wanted you to be happy with him.  I just… it hurt at the same time.”

...I can’t tell if Panacea would have felt happy or not. I doubt she did, because let’s face it: her chances of getting together with Glory Girl are zero, for a lot of reasons, and she must have known that. I’m inclined to believing she wasn’t happy...for long, no matter how much she hated Gallant.

Some people may think Panacea is making excuses right now, that saying all this about Bonesaw breaking her self-imposed restrictions and pushing her to get out of her comfort zone and about the very stressing situations she’s in, but given what happened...eh, not that Glory Girl will forgive her for whatever she just did, at least not soon.

“Anything stupid.  Like what? What did you do?”

Amy’s voice was a croak as she replied, “…make it so you would reciprocate my feelings.”

...or...ever. Yikes, that’s rough. No wonder Glory Girl is filled with revulsion. So Panacea’s desperation made her to unconsciously force Glory Girl to reciprocate her feelings, most likely to ensure she’d always have her support and love, and it backfired spectacularly. The fact she wouldn’t have done this if she had been in any other mental state makes it worse. It was a moment of weakness, and now she severed all positive ties with Glory Girl. This isn’t going to help her sanity.

Of course after finding out she had messed up with her feelings, of all things, Glory Girl would refuse letting Panacea touch her, no matter how much Panacea begs.

“You can’t. I- Oh fuck.  You’re underestimating what I did.  Please.  If you never ever give me anything else, if you never talk to me or look at me again, just let me fix this.”

...she’s underestimating it? That’s dreadful. Just how badly did Panacea screw up? If she’s begging like this and trying to convince her to fix it, then it must be pretty bad. I can’t fathom what exactly can be worse than what already happened, though. If Panacea says Glory Girl is underestimating that, then she really must be, but still...what could it be?

We’re not finding out right now, though. Glory Girl flies away, rubbing so much salt in Panacea’s wounds it’s surprising she doesn’t faint from the emotional pain, and all Panacea can do is fall to her knees and be contrite. Her life is ruined. It took...it took a very short amount of time, and I feel bad for her. I hope she’ll be okay.

That’s the end of the interlude. Next time a new arc starts!

Next update: next time

[patriotsnet]

Why Did Republicans Vote Against The First Responders Bill

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/why-did-republicans-vote-against-the-first-responders-bill/

Why Did Republicans Vote Against The First Responders Bill

Biden Pushed For Bipartisanship What Happened

Why Did the Republican Congress Argue AGAINST the COVID Stimulus Bill?

Biden ran on wanting bipartisanship efforts on Capitol Hill, and being a;negotiator during his 36 years in the Senate.;

More:Amid calls for unity, President Biden and Republicans don’t agree what that looks like

Bipartisan efforts were made in the beginning of negotiations, with a;group of 10 Republicans meeting with Biden at the White House in early February to propose a counteroffer: a;$618 billion package.

But, those talks and communication have;since fizzled, according to Romney, who was;one of the senators who met with Biden. He told reporters;there has been very little effort on the part of the White House to find common ground with Republicans.

More:How much money will your state get if Biden’s COVID-19 relief bill passes?

Sen. Susan Collins, R-Me., who was also in the group of 10 Republicans, said;talks between the White House and her colleagues stalled.”

Biden said he hoped;”Republicans in Congress listen to their constituents,”;citing the popularity of the bill in some polls.;

Romney told reporters Thursday if some Republican amendments;got into the bill, some of his colleagues may support it.;

“But my guess is it’s not likely that many of our amendments will get any Democrat support so I think it’s very unlikely that any Republicans will support the final bill,” he said.

McConnell and other Republicans have also criticized Democrats for using;a special process called reconciliation to push forward;the legislation;without much input from the GOP.;

Gop Claims Afghan Refugees Are Arriving Unvetted That’s Not True

Thirty-five House Republican broke ranks Wednesday evening to support legislation that would establish an independent commission to investigate the January 6 insurrection at the US Capitol.

Liz Cheney of Wyoming

Tom Rice of South Carolina

Dan Newhouse of Washington

Jaime Herrera Beutler of Washington

Peter Meijer of Michigan

John Katko of New York

David Valadao of California

Tom Reed of New York

Don Bacon of Nebraska

Andrew Garbarino of New York

Tony Gonzales of Texas

Dusty Johnson of South Dakota

David Joyce of Ohio

Chris Smith of New Jersey

Van Taylor of Texas

Chris Jacobs of New York

David McKinley of West Virginia

Jeff Fortenberry of Nebraska

Why 21 House Republicans Balked At Medals For Capitol Police

There was a brief political consensus in the immediate aftermath of the insurrectionist attack on the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6. The left, right, and center could all agree on a simple truth: participating in a riotous assault against the nation’s seat of government, in the hopes of derailing our electoral system, is a serious attack against our democracy.

As we’ve discussed, however, that consensus broke down soon after. As winter turned to spring, many House Republicans decided to rewrite recent history, recasting the villains as heroes, and the police as heavy-handed abusers who interfered with “peaceful patriots” engaged in a lawful protest. There was fresh evidence of this yesterday: TPM reported, “During a House Oversight committee hearing Tuesday, several Republicans spent their speaking time expressing concern for a specific group of people involved in the January 6 attack: the insurrectionists themselves.”

Soon after the hearing, the House took up a measure to honor the law-enforcement officials who defended the Capitol on Jan. 6. The resolution passed, but not unanimously.

To be sure, a 406-to-21 vote is lopsided, but under normal circumstances, we’d expect zero members of Congress to vote against a measure honoring Capitol Police who kept them safe during an attack on their own institution. Yesterday, however, 21 lawmakers — each of them conservative Republicans — voted “no,” despite knowing that the resolution would pass anyway.

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House Republicans Voted Against Giving Medals To Officers Who Responded To Jan 6 Riot

The House passed a bill Tuesday to award the Congressional Gold Medal to all law enforcement officers who defended the Capitol during the Jan. 6 riot, with 21 Republicans opposing the bill.

Why it matters via the Washington Post:“he vote underscored the still-lingering tensions in Congress amid efforts by some GOP lawmakers to whitewash the events of that day.”

Stay on top of the latest market trends and economic insights with Axios Markets.

The measure passed the House with a bipartisan vote of 406-21.

Details: The four medals awarded under the bill one of the highest civilian honors would be displayed in the Capitol Police and Metropolitan Police headquarters, Smithsonian Institution and the Capitol building.

The bill names the three law enforcement officers who died following the attack, and singles out U.S. Capitol Police officer Eugene Goodman, who lured a mob away from members of Congress.

The resolution recognizes their actions as an example of “the patriotism and the commitment of Capitol Police officers, and those of other law enforcement agencies, to risk their lives in service of our country.”

The Republicans who voted against:

Rep. Thomas Massie

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene

Rep. Andy Harris

The Long Fight To Funding

Congress passed the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act in 2010, over opposition from some Republicans who balked at its original $7 billion price tag. The act was reauthorized in 2015 for 90 years. But a portion of the law the Victim Compensation Fund was only funded for five years, through the end of 2020.; The fund aimed to provide necessary financial support for the thousands who suffered serious medical issues, including a spate of cancer diagnoses, after the 2001 attacks.;

The House voted 402 to 12 to permanently reauthorize the fund through 2092 earlier in July, with the Congressional Budget Office estimating $10.2 billion in costs over the next ten years. However, Sen. Rand Paul prevented the Senate from voting to approve the bill by unanimous consent last week because of its high cost. Fellow Republican Sen. Mike Lee of Utah also placed a procedural hold on the legislation, further preventing it from passing in the Senate.;

Under Senate rules, any one senator can propose that a bill be considered for unanimous consent, but one senator can also block it. The bill was then brought to the floor for debate and a full vote this week.

Comedian and 9/11 first responder advocate Jon Stewart blasted Paul;over the issue, telling Fox News the move was “absolutely outrageous.”;

In a last-minute pitch before Tuesday’s vote, Paul offered an amendment he said would help offset the bill’s spending costs.;

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/11 Responders Bill Defeated By Senate Gop Filibuster

the CNN Wire StaffSTORY HIGHLIGHTS

Motion for cloture falls three votes short of ending GOP filibuster

Republicans oppose the $7.4 billion cost; supporters hope to revive the measure

Bill would provide medical benefits, compensation for 9/11 first responders

NYC Mayor Bloomberg calls it an “example of partisan politics trumping patriotism”

Washington — Senate Democrats failed Thursday to win a procedural vote to open debate on a bill that would provide medical benefits and compensation for emergency workers who were first on the scene of the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.

The motion for cloture, or to begin debate, needed 60 votes to pass due to a Republican filibuster, but fell short at 57-42 in favor.

While supporters said they would try to bring the bill up again, either on its own or as part of other legislation to be considered, the vote Thursday jeopardized the measure’s chances for approval in the final weeks of the current congressional session.

The House previously passed the bill on a mostly partisan 268-160 vote.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg reacted to Thursday’s result by calling it “a tragic example of partisan politics trumping patriotism.”

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Michael Bloomberg

“I urge Senate Republicans to reconsider their wrong-headed political strategy and allow the bill to come to the floor for a vote,” Bloomberg said in a statement.

Zadroga Act Opponents Including Paul Ryan Observe September 11 Anniversary

WASHINGTON — The nation’s leading Republicans marked the 11th anniversary of 9/11 with the words “never forget” on their lips — most of those using the occasion to promote legislation — but nearly all of them opposed the bill passed two years ago to help the first responders who suffered health problems in the wake of the attacks.

Prominent among them was vice presidential nominee, Rep. Paul Ryan , who voted twice against the James Zadroga 9/11 Health and Compensation Act, and opposed the final passage of the bill.

“Eleven years ago today, from Capitol Hill, I could see the smoke rising from the fires burning in the Pentagon. Like all Americans, I will never forget the moment that our homeland came under attack,” Ryan said in a statement. “For me, this is a day to remember those who perished on that day of terror, including the first responders.”

A spokesman for Ryan, Brendan Buck, insisted that Ryan supports 9/11 responders and pointed to the congressman’s votes soon after the attacks in favor of aid for those suffering. He explained Ryan’s Dec. 2010 comments on the House floor in opposition to the Zadroga bill by noting that Ryan said he didn’t like the bill because he thought it was flawed, was “rushed” onto the floor by Democrats, and created a new mandatory spending program.

“Gov. Romney supports government assistance to the victims of terrorism,” Saul said.

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Texas Elections Bill Was Near Party

Friday’s vote;saw only one representative;cross;party lines; Rep. Lyle Larson, R-San Antonio, who voted against SB 1.;

All 40 Democrats who were present Friday voted against the bill, with several saying efforts should focus on improving;voter access with such initiatives as online or election day voter registration.

Instead, Republicans squandered an opportunity by focusing on restrictions that will have a disproportionate impact on voters of color, said Rep. Chris Turner, D-Grand Prairie,;one of nine Democrats to speak against SB 1 to close Friday’s debate.

The bill, Turner said, was inspired by the “big lie” that President Donald Trump was denied a second term because of widespread election fraud, a conspiracy theory unleashing a toxic and dangerous threat to democracy.

“He and other Republicans whipped their base into a frenzy with crazy conspiracies about election fraud,” Turner said.

“This bill was never about election security or voter integrity.;It was always about using the big lie to justify restricting access to the ballot box,” he said.

More:From polls to ballots, here’s what a new Texas voting bill would mean for you

Rep. Senfronia Thompson, D-Houston, a Black woman who recalled having to pay a poll tax to vote when she was young, said SB 1 was a continuation of an attack on the right to vote for nonwhite citizens.

“We have 90 days to act,” he said. “The clock is ticking.”

Utah Sen Mike Lee Votes Against 9/11 First Responders Bill After Losing Bid To Limit Spending

Why Ted Cruz Voted Against 9/11 Relief Funds | MSNBC

Sen. Mike Lee, R-Utah.

Washington The Senate passed a measure Tuesday extending for decades the fund for victims of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks after defeating an amendment by Sen. Mike Lee that would have limited the payout to about $20 billion over the life of the program.

The bill, which passed overwhelmingly in the Senate 97-2 and was previously approved by the House, now heads to President Donald Trump’s desk for his signature.

Lee, a Utah Republican, had held up the bill while attempting to curtail the expansion to only what is needed in the next decade. His amendment, shot down by a 32-66 vote, would have given $10.18 billion to the fund in the next 10 years and another $10 billion after that.

After his amendment failed, Lee voted against the final bill. Sen. Mitt Romney, R-Utah, supported the overall measure.

Lee walked off the floor shortly after it was clear his amendment didnt have the 60 votes it needed to pass.

His office declined to comment on the vote and pointed to a statement from last week when the senator said that the victims fund has had an excellent record avoiding waste and abuse and has always been funded for a time-certain extension.

These two things are not coincidental, he said in that statement. They go together.

The Senate also rejected an amendment by Sen. Rand Paul, R-Ky., that would have cut other programs to pay for extending the 9/11 fund. Paul cast the only other no vote.

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Republicans Vote Against Awarding Medals To Police Who Defended Capitol

The House passed legislation on Tuesday to award Congressional Gold Medals; one of the highest civilian honors; to police officers who defended the Capitol during the violent Jan. 6 insurrection.

Lawmakers handily passed the legislation. Members of both parties supported it, 406-21, with all of the votes in opposition coming from conservative Republicans.

The four medals awarded under the bill would be displayed at the Capitol Police headquarters, at the D.C. Metropolitan Police headquarters, at the Smithsonian Institution and in a “prominent location” in the Capitol.

The medal displayed in the Capitol would be accompanied with a plaque listing all of the law enforcement agencies that helped protect the building on Jan. 6 from the mob of former President TrumpJoe BidenSpotlight turns to GOP’s McCarthy in Jan. 6 probeBiden visits union hall to mark Labor DayBiden approves disaster funds for NJ, NY after Ida floodingMOREs election victory.

The resolution names three police officers; Brian Sicknick and Howard Liebengood of the Capitol Police and;Jeffrey Smith of the Metropolitan Police; who died in the days after they were on duty at the Capitol on Jan. 6.

The measure states that their actions “exemplify the patriotism and the commitment of Capitol Police officers, and those of other law enforcement agencies, to risk their lives in service of our country.”

‘we’ll See You At The Polls’

But the bill’s House sponsor, Rep. Andrew Murr, R-Junction, said SB 1 was the product of more than 35 hours of House debate between the regular session that ended in May and two special sessions.

“We all strive for improvement, and I believe that’s what we’re looking at with this legislation, is improving the Election Code of Texas,” Murr said, his voice scratchy from almost 13 hours of debate Thursday over SB 1.

Moments before the House took its final vote on SB 1, Rep. Harold Dutton, D-Houston, engaged Murr in a back-and-forth discussion on the House floor.

“Do you think there’s fraud in Texas elections?” Dutton asked.

“Generally speaking, I;think there is always a likelihood of fraud,” Murr replied. “We have;seen past examples of fraud.”

Dutton ended with an acknowledgement that the fight over SB 1 was almost over, but he said a larger fight is looming: “We’re going to;go;vote, and so we’ll see you at the polls.”

Once the House names its five members to the conference committee, they will negotiate a final version of SB 1 that will need to be approved;by both chambers.

The bill’s author, Sen. Bryan Hughes, R-Mineola, said Friday that;he will determine the next step after;studying House changes.

Also Check: How Many Republicans Are Against Trump

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DOJ wades in against Texas abortion ban

Attorney General Merrick Garland said Monday that the Justice Department would protect women seeking an abortion in Texas as the agency explores ways to challenge one of the most restrictive laws in the nation. In a statement, Garland said the department would protect those seeking to obtain or provide reproductive health services pursuant to our criminal and civil enforcement of the law known as the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act.

The announcement from the Justice Department comes days after the conservative-majority Supreme Court declined to block the Texas law that bans abortion as early as six weeks into a pregnancy, with no exceptions for rape or incest. The law also allows anyone to file a lawsuit against any other person who has aided someone in obtaining an abortion, with the potential for a $10,000 payoff.

The Internet responds

Pro-choice users on TikTok and;Reddit;have launched a guerrilla effort to thwart Texass extreme new abortion law, flooding an online tip website that encourages people to report violators of the law with false reports, Shrek memes and porn.

The law makes it illegal to help women in;Texas;access abortion after the sixth week of pregnancy. To help enforce it, anti-abortion group Texas Right to Life established the digital tipline where people can send anonymous information about potential violations.

A Legislative Win But At What Cost

As the bill now heads to the president’s desk for final signature, advocates and living survivors can’t help but think the battle was won but at the expense of hundreds of their brothers in arms.

In the process of the reauthorization, over 200 firefighters and first responders died as a result of cancers and other medical ailments related to the 2001 terror attacks.;

The daughter of William Gormley, a former New York City firefighter who died after his own battle with cancer in 2017, told CBS that her family had filed a claim for benefits from the victims fund immediately after her father’s death and was assured that the money would be there.

“They went back on their promise but they had to. It was better for everyone to get a little money than no one at all,” Bridget Gormley said.

Gormley says the fund was unfortunately a “victim of its own success” after the fund quickly ran out of money because of a rise in cancer-related illnesses in the 9/11 community.;

“This is not going to be a cause for celebration,” Gormley noted importantly. “We unfortunately have to learn some lessons form our failures in this situation. It’ll be a milestone but it’ll serve as a testament to the first responders who fought.”

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[glenngaylord]

PATTON PENDING - My Review of SCREAM, QUEEN! MY NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (4 Stars)

[Excerpted from https://thequeerreview.com/ ]

I have a very rare and unusual relationship to A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge.  Long considered the gayest horror movie ever made, its homo panic subtext, which really just plays as text, feels unmistakable through a modern lens, but back then?  It depends on who you ask. I should know. I was there.  

For much of the 1980s, I worked in production on films, and New Line Cinema offered me a job on their rushed-out sequel to their instant horror classic about a man named Freddy Krueger who haunted people’s dreams.  When I read David Chaskin’s script, I was floored by its depiction of a male scream queen named Jesse who freaks out whenever he gets intimate with a woman, races off to spend the night with his hot male best friend, experiences dreams set in leather bars and in the showers with his naked, tied up coach, pretty much invents twerking, and bemoans the fact that, “Something wants to get inside my body”.  As played by Mark Patton, Jesse spoke for every queer kid who didn’t have the words to express his feelings.  In1985, when the film was made, few could articulate what seems so blatant now.  Still, all it took was a sideways glance to other crew members as we watched Freddy caress Jesse’s face with his knifed glove to understand the film we had in store for an unsuspecting public.  

Elm Street 2 derailed the promising career of Patton, sending him virtually off the grid for the past thirty plus years.  Scream, Queen!, the new documentary by directors Roman Chimienti and Tyler Jensen, initially takes us on a deep dive into the homoeroticism embedded into the sequel.  Had it stopped there, we would have had a delightful fan service documentary.  We hear from its director Jack Sholder and cast who all had their own take on the material, enough to send you home chuckling knowingly at what you knew was there all along. The film instead wisely chooses to take a more global perspective as we take Patton’s journey from failure and resentment to finding his voice and giving birth to a strong, stirring activist for LGBTQ+ rights.  Who knew he had THAT inside his body?!!  

Patton, who had just triumphed on Broadway and in film with his performance in Come Back To The Five And Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean, scored his first lead role with Elm Street 2, and clearly had the talent to go far.  Unfortunately, his rise came during a particular time in Hollywood history when even the whiff of gayness could keep an actor from working.  In auditions, such comments as “too soft” meant Casting Directors thought you were too gay to play straight.  The implied message?  Gay is bad.  Gay doesn’t sell tickets.  Get that gay away from me!  It didn’t help that the AIDS crisis reared its ugly head, sending shockwaves of paranoia throughout the industry.  Once the film came out, Mark couldn’t find much work, so he retreated from the business and moved to Mexico.

Unbeknownst to him, Elm Street 2 developed a cult following years later, with fans recognizing its unique place in horror history.  Soon, Patton started making the rounds at horror conventions, which sent him on his quest to understand what happened and why.  Scream, Queen! methodically takes us along with Mark as he meets fans, embraces his iconic dance in the film, thus learning how to laugh at himself.  Some documentaries would end here as we look back with clear heads at something so absurd, but Chimienti and Jensen stand by Patton, who wants more answers.  He seeks an apology from Chaskin, who had put the blame squarely on his shoulders for anything and everything gay in the film. He suffers through some mansplaining by Jack Sholder, who thinks Mark should simply drop everything. Neither, however, come across as villainous.  Both simply never had the tools or the awareness to examine themselves properly.  Mark, steadfastly wants to better understand how homophobia ruins lives and how perceptions of masculinity and femininity create unreasonable gender norms.  Once a closeted actor, Patton stands firmly out about his sexual orientation and his HIV+ status, and with zero fucks left to give, he won’t back down from people who tell him he has to just let it all go.  

I also went on a similar journey with this film.  Mark and I didn’t really get to know each other during production.  He would barely make eye contact, perhaps afraid he be “seen”, or maybe he just had too much on his mind.  We really didn’t strike up a friendship until we met again at a party in the late 1990s.  He spoke of the inequities surrounding that film, and it brought back my own memories and feelings.  About 5 years ago, I happened to be at a film festival in Savannah, Georgia, and ran into Bob Shaye, the film’s producer.  I told him he wouldn’t remember me, but I had worked on his movie. He asked me to join him for drinks and couldn’t have been sweeter.  My interactions with Mark gave me the courage to ask him why he and the other filmmakers had denied Elm Street 2 had any intentional homoerotic undertones when it was so obvious even at the time.  He copped to it being a business decision.  Laughing, he said, “And in that bar scene, I was wearing a harness from The Pleasure Chest!”  I laughed along with him and thanked him for his candor. Mark, whose evolution we witness in the documentary, may have laughed too, but he would also likely have looked at Shaye, with all of the hurt three decades of outrage can muster, and said, “It affected me.”  

Some moments in the film verge on narcissism, such as when Mark tells someone, “This is all about me”.  For a moment, I thought he needed to take it easy as well.  In sticking to his guns, however, Mark keeps refocusing the arguments so that, finally, people truly see him.  By seeing him, they see us. Ultimately, it’s an amazing act of generosity, a gift he gives us by exposing us to his raw, true feelings. It moved me to tears. I didn’t think I’d get that from an exposé  about a campy horror film.

Mark stands up for anyone who has been bullied, who has lost a job, or anyone who has been held back and learns to say, “No!  Don’t tell me to get over it.  It still matters.  It still hurts. The only solution here is to apologize and be kind to me.”  It’s through this process that we discover a man who brings more to the table now than he ever did before.  He and his team have brought us an important, expansive documentary which finds an articulate, grown-up path forward for the LGBTQ+ community.  What Mark Patton does from here, I suspect, will be more dream than nightmare.  

[aion-rsa]

Lucifer Season 5 Episode 6 Review: BluBallz

https://ift.tt/2CTQxHZ

This Lucifer review contains spoilers.

“I did go to Hell and back for you, twice, but who’s counting?”

It seems I was a fool for love thinking that somehow Chloe’s relationship with Lucifer, incredible as it is, could forge smoothly ahead. With some of the strongest writing of the season, “BluBallz” finds Lucifer going face to face Chloe’s with romantic past when her first love turns up as the central figure in the murder investigation. However, it’s the thunderbolt at episode’s end that puts Dan in an extraordinarily difficult position and figures to jeopardize the couple’s burgeoning happiness.

While Lucifer routinely weaves investigation details along side the issues the principal characters face in their private lives, “BluBallz” goes a step further dredging up not only someone from Chloe’s past but also the ensuing jealousy that Lucifer brings to the conversation. Once again, there’s nothing terribly complex about the motives behind the killing of DJ Matt Pexxa, but the jealousy, resentment, and self-doubt sprinkled throughout the story set up a compelling case that Chloe solves while Lucifer allows his immature angst to get the better of him. Electrocution by headphones might be one of the most ingenious murder weapons we’ve seen on Lucifer, but it’s Chloe’s immediate attraction to and comfort level with the audio equipment that lets us know we’re about to learn something new about the detective.

Once it becomes clear that the intended target in this case is actually Chloe’s pre-Dan ex, DJ Karnal, aka Jed Moore, the plot thickens, and Lucifer reverts to behaviors that threaten to derail the relationship he worked so hard to recover. From a narrative standpoint, however, it is a bit odd that the hottest DJ in town doesn’t recognize the owner of the hottest club in town, but that nitpick is easily set aside. As soon as Lucifer sees Chloe and Jed reminisce, it’s game on for the prince of darkness, though we worry he’ll muck things up so soon after getting back on track. 

Read more

TV

Lucifer Season 5 Episode 5 Review: Detective Amenadiel

By Dave Vitagliano

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Lucifer Season 5 Soundtrack: Complete Details and Playlist

By Dave Vitagliano

Jason Bruening (Good Behavior) settles into his role as the engaging DJ turned social activist perfectly, and the combination of good looks with his celebrity status gives Lucifer a run for his money from the start. We don’t often see Lucifer on the defensive, but the series continues to effectively use relationships to examine the larger themes of trust, loyalty, and honesty. Though the romantic side of their relationship is new, their history together at the LAPD should be enough to carry the pair through the rough patches if both acknowledge how they feel. And while the final scene certainly indicates they’ve weathered this first relationship storm, we know a more familiar ex-partner faces a watershed moment.

Of course, there’s no getting around the fact that Dan stands at a crossroads after witnessing Lucifer’s devil face, and we have to question whether Lucifer allows this reveal intentionally. The evening has played out wonderfully as the women head to Lux in search of the killer, and the men stay home and try, for the most part unsuccessfully, to calm baby Charlie. But it’s Lucifer’s call to Dan asking him to return to Amenadiel and Linda’s place that poses the problem. 

Once the brothers learn that Lucifer’s devil face produces a calming effect on the child, there’s really no need for Dan to return unless Lucifer simply wants to mess with his head, and if that’s the case, we have to wonder why. On the surface, Dan and Lucifer seem to be getting along as well as they ever have, and while it’s probably too soon to call them friends, they continually find more common ground between them. Does Lucifer feel it’s time to bring Dan into the celestial family along with Linda and Chloe, or is something more sinister afoot here? Will Dan confront Lucifer and the others about what he’s seen, or will the sight of the Devil send him into a downward spiral as he remembers despicable things he’s done in his past and see this as foreshadowing?

It seems unlikely that Lucifer feels threatened by Dan when it comes to Chloe, but the appearance of Jed does appear to have shaken him a bit. Nevertheless, it’s now up to Dan to make the next move, and it will be interesting to see whether he confronts Lucifer or seeks Chloe’s advice. On the other hand, he has to know that what he thinks he saw doesn’t make sense and fear that his claim will paint him as a person in serious need of psychiatric help which then points to Doctor Linda as a potential confidant. Regardless, it’s a turning point, and though we’ve been down this road before, here, it feels very different.

Nonetheless, as Dan is thrown into the celestial abyss, the others take steps toward putting their own lives in order. After a brief foray into the world of the bad boy, Ella may have found someone more in tune with her true sensibilities. She’s endured moments of spiritual doubt before, and though she did seem to have her life back in order, the connection with Dirty Doug implies she was slipping. But when she encounters a reporter (Adam Korson) at the initial crime scene, it appears at first that he’s simply trying to use her to get a scoop. In the end, though, Ella decides to take a chance after Pete insists that “when you finally show someone how amazing you are, you’re going to find your soulmate.” Her reply remains a bit troubling and sounds like something Maze would say. “Can’t find your soulmate if you don’t have a soul.” Another crisis of faith or something much deeper? 

And what of Maze? She asks Linda how to “not end up alone,” and fully recognizes that she has the tendency to scare people away. Showing up at the precinct dressed to emulate Ella’s low-key, open-book style definitely produces a smile, but there’s also something sad about it when we consider the radical differences between the two women. Confronting her mother doesn’t appear to have really helped Maze, but once she gains some distance from the situation, she might see things differently. Still, even as Dan talks to an exasperated Amenadiel, it’s clear his advice applies to Maze as well. “What’s important is that you care; you’re trying your best.” Maze does care about those around her and wants to find a soulmate; whether she’s trying her best is up for debate.

“BluBallz” also does a nice job tying in a number of other recurring thematic ideas Lucifer has introduced throughout its run. Lucifer’s preoccupation with his Father’s manipulations persists to this day, so his contention that Jed orchestrates the murder and its subsequent investigation works well. Most importantly, though, is the revelation that it was Chloe who ended their prior relationship, and Lucifer now fears any missteps might send him on his way.

Lucifer approaches its mid-season finale with the ability to go in a number of narrative directions, and though Chloe and Lucifer seemingly have a chance at some modicum of happiness, the same may not be said of the others. “BluBallz” sets up a fascinating Dan-centric follow up as we wait to see whether he’ll challenge what he’s seen or withdraw into a more comfortable reality. Either way, they’ve got my attention.

The post Lucifer Season 5 Episode 6 Review: BluBallz appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[mrmichaelchadler]

Thumbnails 2/8/19

Thumbnails is a roundup of brief excerpts to introduce you to articles from other websites that we found interesting and exciting. We provide links to the original sources for you to read in their entirety.—Chaz Ebert

1. 

"Morgan Saylor on 'Anywhere With You,' 'White Girl' and 'Novitiate'": The astonishingly versatile actor chats with me at Indie Outlook about her latest role in Hanna Ladoul and Marco La Via's new indie romance, "Anywhere With You," now available on Digital and On Demand.

“[Indie Outlook:] ‘The five-minute shot of your face on the beach is absolutely mesmerizing, as Amanda goes through a near-operatic roller coaster of emotions. Was that scene always meant to be shot that way?’ [Saylor:] ‘No it wasn’t. Phone calls are always very technical on film. You have to figure out where the person on the other line is going to be, or if they’ll be there at all. The take we used was the first one we filmed. I don’t think we planned to do the second phone call in the same take, but I did it anyway and it worked. They really liked the idea of both calls being in one shot. We originally thought that we’d have Jake in the background calling to me, but there was also the problem of losing light. These are the sort of not-so-fun things that happen onset. I actually remember being very unsatisfied, performance-wise, with that scene, but now in retrospect, I’m quite pleased with it. It’s just so stressful and weird when you have only thirty minutes of that perfect sunset light to work with, and you don’t have the right people as the voices on the other end of the line. It’s really difficult to react to that, but it ended up being one of those magic things. The assistant director was like, ‘Should we call cut? Should we not?’ And they just kept going, and that’s what made it in the final cut. That scene has been talked about a lot, and I think that’s cool.”

2. 

"How Caleb Deschanel Became the Surprise Oscar Nominee for 'Never Look Away'": According to Indiewire's Bill Desowitz.

“Like everyone else, Caleb Deschanel was taken by surprise with his sixth Oscar nomination for German-language nominee, ‘Never Look Away,’ about the horrors of war and the artistic process. The legendary cinematographer, best known for ‘The Black Stallion,’ ‘The Right Stuff,’ and ‘The Natural,’ now becomes the sentimental favorite to win his first Academy Award. ‘People kept coming up and raving about ‘Cold War’ and ‘Roma’ and I sheepishly told them that I had a foreign-language film and they said they had the DVD somewhere,’ Deschanel said. Clearly, enough branch members (bolstered by the large international bloc) were swayed by Deschanel’s exquisite cinematography to give him the nod. ‘Never Look Away,’ directed by Oscar winner Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (‘The Lives of Others’), fictionalizes the life of experimental abstract German painter Gerhard Richter, who finds his artistic voice in the film after falling in love with a fashion student whose gynecologist father has a secret past as a Nazi eugenics leader.”

3.

"Sundance Film Festival 2019: 'Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile'": In her review posted at A Reel of One's Own, Andrea Thompson voices her issues with Joe Berlinger's controversial Ted Bundy biopic, though they aren't what one might expect.

“The goal with ‘Extremely Wicked’ also isn't to show or glorify the murders, or even to explain why Bundy committed them, with not a flashback to his childhood to be found. Instead, the movie shows how he was able to get away with them for so long. It's much easier with a lead like Efron; it isn't just his incredible performance and charisma that makes his take on Bundy so compelling. It's his image and status as one of the most popular actors working today. ‘Extremely Wicked’ dares audiences to resist his charms, even if it constantly reminds us not only what Bundy was, but what he was capable of. We recognize him as human even as Liz notices small moments that reveal his inhumanity. He remained unrepentant until the last minute, probably only revealing at least some of the extent of his crimes in the hopes of prolonging his life. Bundy expertly manipulated the media, nearly everyone around him, and escaped authorities multiple times. Yet he also needed to believe his own lies, daring others as well as himself to imagine that this smiling, seemingly easygoing man could do such things. The issues the movie has stem from the fact that this is a story based on a memoir by Liz herself, and ‘Extremely Wicked’ is written and directed by men. As such, there's little exploration of the more complex gender dynamics that led to many young women attending his trial.”

4. 

"After years of disrupting Hollywood, Steven Soderbergh finds an unlikely ally in Netflix": In conversation with Mark Olsen of The Los Angeles Times.

“‘We're always looking for inefficiencies that can be addressed,’ Soderbergh says a few hours before his Slamdance tribute. ‘I want to be rolling as often as possible; the goal [in my filmmaking] is to be rolling camera, so I'm on the lookout for things that are getting in the way of that. The good news about this job generally in my mind is that every project is completely different and has a new set of demands and needs,’ he says. ‘And so already in my mind it throws open the idea of, ‘Well, how do we want to do it this time?’ I'm always looking to have an experience, that if it doesn't annihilate the experience that I just had, at least there's some aspect of it that's in contrast. So I feel like it's fresh.’ Though it may seem odd at first glance that Soderbergh would premiere his new film at Slamdance — or perhaps characteristically idiosyncratic — he has a longstanding relationship with the festival. As Slamdance president and co-founder Peter Baxter tells the story, the festival’s very first opening night, a 1996 premiere screening of Greg Mottola’s ‘The Daytrippers,’ which Soderbergh had produced, was nearly derailed when the projectionist had a heart attack (he lived) and the projector broke down as well. After someone else was electrocuted trying to fix it, Soderbergh, screwdriver in hand, got the projector running.”

5. 

"11 Influential Facts About 'A Woman Under the Influence'": Eric C. Snyder of Mental Floss celebrates the genius of John Cassavetes' 1974 masterpiece. 

“Cassavetes gave a long interview to journalist Judith McNally at the New York Film Festival, after he'd spent 18 months trying to find a distributor. He was also burned out on making four movies in a row without studio help. ‘I can't like making films anymore if they're this tough,’ he said. ‘The pressures are too unnatural. I'm not crying, because I enjoy it. But I am saddened by the fact that I have physical limitations.’ Yet working with profit-minded studios was hard, too, since Cassavetes refused to bend on his artistic principles. ‘If that means I'll never make [a] film again, then I'll never make another film again," he said. McNally followed up. ‘You don't have any plans at all for another film?’ He replied: "Right now all I can hope is that [‘A Woman Under the Influence’] is extremely successful. And if it isn't, I won't make another one—that's all. Which in itself is no great tragedy.’ He did, in fact, go on to make five more films before his death in 1989.”

Image of the Day

At Vulture, our own Donald Liebenson spoke with "The Critic" co-creator Al Jean about his five favorite episodes of his uproarious and all-too-short-lived show, including the one from season two starring Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert as themselves (who else?). 

Video of the Day

The Top 11 Funniest Siskel and Ebert Reviews are ranked by Doug Walker, a.k.a. the Nostalgia Critic of ChannelAwesome.com, who makes an impassioned argument for why these gems of witty discourse deserve to be preserved for future generations. 

from All Content http://bit.ly/2SG3D1m

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Ed Sheeran: 'I've got a song that is higher than Thinking aloud'

Ed Sheeran: ‘I’ve got a song that is higher than Thinking aloud’

In the initial instalment of associate exclusive on-line two-part interview, dysfunction Sheeran takes BBC Music newsperson Mark Savage behind the scenes of his third album, ÷ (Divide). In the lobby of Atlantic Records in West London, an advert of dysfunction Sheeran’s huge face peeks out from behind a pendant, smiling beatifically at you. As you get within the carry, there he’s once more. And…