#for the ones saying this ep would make ppl cry im sorry i doubted you

[sumayyou]

The experience of watching NatsuYuu is either I cry during the episode, or I cry after the episode just thinking about it.

Oh- or both oc, its both a lot of the time🫠💖👍...

[banghwa-moved]

Loved your discussion on Like Crazy and queer loneliness. <33 I just wanted to say that as a queer person who has to mask+pass as straight/cis almost 24/7 because of safety reasons and has essentially no irl queer community b/c I live in a conservative area, I feel disconnected to my own queerness constantly and Like Crazy and FACE have quickly become a kind of safe space for me. Like…I don’t know how to articulate this but I feel so seen in Jimin and the MV almost made me cry??? I mean I’ve always felt “seen” because of him to some extent, but this album has taken it to another level. Idk but this album makes me feel like one day I’ll finally get to a place where I feel both safe and seen.

(And honestly? I’ve stopped myself from thinking about my gender identity because the thought of being anything other than cis feels so frightening to me because now who tf am I??? Figuring out I wasn’t straight was difficult enough to admit. But leave it to Jimin to give me a gender crisis I can no longer ignore. And a part of this realization feels so freeing despite the uncertainty.)

(Sorry for all of this lol but I really just wanted to share this with someone, even as an anon. Your blog means so much to me and I alway enjoy reading your thoughts.)

EXACTLY!!! its so unfortunate that this is something a lot of us can relate to :(( but im so happy to hear you find comfort in like crazy and face in general :')) it really is that though like. i doubt like crazy necessarily had that intention but the way it was displayed and performed just has this underlying grief that i think a lot of lgbt ppl can see themselves in. the overlapping of desire and loneliness, the eroticization of alienation, the longing and grieving for something you never had because putting yourself out there would be a risk beyond what most people can understand... even if it wasnt necessarily the intent of the EP i think its so lovely that despite everything we can see ourselves in it, and find connection through a struggle that speaks the same "language" ours does.... :')

as for the gender stuff, oh my really it was the same for me :')) figuring it out was so scary. i had the same thoughts around "what does this mean about who i am? do i even know who i am?" figuring out gender stuff is a long journey, honestly a lot more challenging than understanding my sexuality. n i feel like even now nearly 6 yrs since first coming out to my friends im still figuring stuff out. and thats fine ! it may feel scary right now, and for a long time even. but it is also such a freeing journey that i wouldnt trade it for anything. i hope your journey brings you much joy and love and community, regardless of where it leads you <333 rooting for you my love <3333

[misterbitches]

@flootweed ​

ATOTS

That's super fucking romantic? Like tragic but in a nice way. i love that shit. i'm a monogamous slut for romance pghiosuag even tho we have to learn to live alone too but it's just like the NOTION is nice?!??! awwww i told my mom that SOPHIE's gf was like "she died taking a picture of the moon" and how it was like idk. the gf was just processing it and she thought it was romantic and my mom was like "wow.....depressing" bc think she thought it was stupid millenial shit i was like no mother doent u see she died in the BEAUTY LMAO but then i told her jessica walter's husband died the year before and then she died and she was like "aw...kind of romantic" LMAOOOO i guess two people have to die. why did i tell this story? i am so sorry. the show ended today right (ep 10?) i didn't realize it was that short. so i hope it was a happy ending? (tell me) i understand why you love the atmos! it's like, not really been done. there's this BL that i hear isn't too great but it does take place in a rural part of thailand and there's way less budget. a lot of ppl seem to like it. ep 6 LW / LW in gen gotta be honest, rushed through it. i knew spoilers from jump cause BL spoilers are just absolutely nothing and sometimes ur just like i need to know. i do not understand the ~silently lookin 4 u~ trope it always backfires and is also DUMB. so happy about tiffy. a girl who likes girls but ends up with a man bc of mommy and also the man is ok....it's me. she's gorgeous and actually [h*lf] gay so it's great. god ok i feel so old again. lmaooo but i was like obsessed with lady gaga for that reason (dont ask...also how i got kinda popular on tumblr way back in the day) and shes just absolutely fucking beautiful and bad ass. (which kind of doesnt helpcos they r all skinnty but that's FINEEEE) right? i mean like i guess cos we knew abt it? i can see why he was so pissed off, too? i mean i'm so fucking like...sensitive to being told what to do so i was angry for him from jump. i guess i was also looking at it different wholetime cos i knew the spoilers? i'm assuming u did too lmao. so we knew hed be pissed and leave. and frankly that's what sib gets. just for you my friend i will watch it and update. i think MANY times in shows in gen but it is something you notice a lot in BL bc they are just absolute novices most times. in this case, gene's actor mostly well (and i like him as a person just cos he was on that thai 3 girls in a car show and used to date on eof them lmao) can act so i will look over that scene to see how sib's actor plays off him. but the pausing in between sentences or for so long even decent actors or actors doing better. kao is not bad, not great so they will talk slowly because dramatic acting but the problem is most times it's too long. even if the person is an adept actor it won't always work and YES THEN THAT MEANS THE EDITOR COMES IN AND SNIP SNIP SNIP! it's too long. and sometimes it just does not work even if you can act. but it is GLARING when they cant or are average (someoe said this about tharntype and my god lmao tharn..is...so...slow...in...talking...the actor idk his name it's one of em, the other one with the nose (type) is....different not better but he certainly does not talk as slow. they arent bad but they are not good so.) also sometimes they are forgetting their lines. some ppl find this charming. clearly we do not lmao. what is their relation? what is going on there? i don't have a problem with stepbrothers as long as they didn't grow up with that sibling bond. many times blended families really have to watch out for that kind of fraternizing but it's always when theyre older and teenagers bc they didnt grow up w/ each other....i mean they have chemistry so i'm whatever. but. hennYYWAYYYS.actually it's bc im an idiot i didn't read it as Mhok (singular) and aey's father. Yes and his sister who i think i may hate? im like bitch okkkkkk but. his name is lhong. and he is a psycho. i mean so is type. so. oooh it could be that he stole! but also i'm pretty sure cos hes gay lol or did they

not make that explicit? the thing is i had to skip through most of that scene too because the drama was WAY too much for me. too much. lmao. the sister thing i got and it made sense and iliked that. oh yea he is gay and they know. that's a big one.

WBL

haven’t watched color rush! did you like it? i have seen wyel, parts of mr heart, and ofc to my star :) 

ohhhhhh ok. i get you. yea he definitely wasn’t being ooc cos i think that....what u said. and also like....ugh i cant even think rn. i like sam lin a lot so i like gao shi de but i gotta say. lmao. hm. first of all. yes it is creepy what he did. it’s fucking weird. and sad that his whole life revolves around him. it’s not as fucking weird as LW but still like when he did the door thing. i was like UMMMMMMMMM cos i really didnt want it to be constructed. and when it was i was like imma suspend my disbelief. but if anyone dared...

and so what he did in s2 i think he just couldnt realize that he was loved back which is why it’s good he WAS ALONE for 5 yrs imo. but he gave shu yi 0 choice and for that i am pretty sure i would be even angrier. i do think though that the father’s role is pretty important but i can see how the show is like....letting that go? bc as fucking weird as GSD is, he was still like...20? i guess and shu yi’s dad is like. crazy? i am also like he really had to fucking start a company to get noticed like are u joking? is it also that easy? and also why? lmao i just. ugh. i think that probs bothered me the most...priorities.

i like the show! well idk if i love it but sure. i think it’s decent lmao. i understand what you’re saying. for here it bothers me less but i certainly don’t think it was OOC. immature and stupid but like...that’s.....what they are. i also don’t have a problm with the timing from a technical point.

however, when i started the show? i had NO clue what concept of time it was. and that was very annoying. tehy redeemed it bc of the comedy aspects (the first time shu yi sees shi de is so fucking good, i really loved the shot and editing; it’s hilarious and silly) and i started to go with the flow of the show through that. but the fucking concept of time in the show in general esp with repetitive outfits (i understand that they are more likely to wear multiple outfits as well, it’s just that you have to split it up or it i sconfusing visually and looks like the same scene twice or just a full day of shooting which it could be but then something should change in the clothes. this is just an ex~~*~*) and partof that is they have this already controlled narrative i guess. 

i have to admit as well...i skipped episode 1. and most of 2. i was like i rly dont want to see someone slap a pereson even if they were like. not together. it’s just not cute also not in front of ppl. and then when they were yelling and bla bla i was like listen ladies lets calm down. too much angst in a boring way. what they have now is good. also they should probably like estrange the father but i doubt they will. 

i cannot make up my mind totally now bc i see what ur saying i guess i just don’t feel that way as much but i guess i have to think about it more, too. i do think he was contorlling in getting him or like when he didnt want shu yi to find out whwatshisface liked him. i guess for me it would be if he is still that way in the rship. but even tho he’s at fault for what happened, i’m also like but his dad? but also like...did he try? why did he just stop contacting? but then i guess he emailed everyday? DO U C MY QUANDARY.

alsoi have to say i do not care abt their backdoor being opened lmao like wow business? no thanks

LMAO. did they cry a lot in UWMA? i only know the teamwin parts. which one is fluke the really pale one who died? idk what it is about that kid but i just cant watch him. it’s not his fault it’s mine.

DUDE i still dont understand the husband and wife thing and ive looked into it multiple times. ive kinda just classified it as one of those things that make me uncomfortable but arent problematic lol. it you have any insight about it id love to hear it tho !!

it’s stupid. that’s what it is (husband and wife.) it’s just something they say like many gay couples may use pejoratives in conjunction with them, the f word etc. or even imply something about being a top and a bottom. whatever. but these arent gay spaces or gay storylines. sure gay men may direct them but since BL operates and relies on patriarchy without a doubt and also stereotypes poorly kathoeys or won’t cast trans women in anything substantial and use them as jokes (and see this is one of those things where it’s like...ud never see this in the US tho like our concept of third gender or kathoeys but life stillBOOOOO.) so it’s just useless when they put it into the scripts because it’s for people to consume and lots of girls are. obviously. so the idea that if you are being penetrated and u r the wife and this is used like literally anywhere but not from gay or whatever men is gross. are cis women’s vaginas sieves to them? are trans women not women? do we have to categorize people by PHALLIC OBJECTS IN OUR BODIES SPECIFICALLY A WOMAN? it dont make no sense. plus really most ppl just experiment, there’s more ways than one to have sex, we have lives so most times it’s not just full penetration for hours anyway. it’s just so gross. like oh that’s really funny lol ur the wife cos his dick goes in ur butt XD i get it, same. i say “i’m wife’ whenever there’s a penis in me. fucking kill me. it’s not a big deal but it’s just dumb and gross. if they use it they could try and subvert it too like i like how my engineer has  a whole absurdly stupid episode about it. but in TT the dad says “if ur the wife i wont accept it” and i was like u know what gals? im good. goodbye.

pgojaihousgajigko THAT’S SOOOOOOO OOWIEOFUGHOIJ WEIRD. FANDOM IS REALLY WEIRD. i have read rpf and written it once upon a time but dont do it anymore  uch. i mean it’s weird. no doubt about that. invasive, weird, strange. but very unreal anyway. it is. plus i dont like celebs or fame and think of it as a gross capitalist scheme so i had to stop (also so weird?) but i know very many people like lean in. lean in. LEAN IN. this youtuber i watch did a video on like insanely popular ships (like that 1d one) and their insane fandoms and i just couldnt. it’s so embarrassing? and then they’re so bold????? about it? 

yea it would be cool (more queer men or visibly we should say or like out whatever.) but it doesnt necessarily mean that will be good or beneficial i guess? i mean like. i dont know. so much about the genre is about wish fulfilment for young girls. its literally selling some fantasies because the other thing is for BL (i read a paper on this...) esp for girls in more conservative societies they cna maybe replace themselves in the character? but they may not feel a threat as a woman or like their life will fall apart if they engage in sexual things with anyone really. and that’s where i’m like....for a lot of these are they just writing a story and just replacing two men? bc they also seem to think it owrks like that. and in a way that’s what it is bc of the writing and how they use certain terms. you can tell the piece is about pushing a product and less about the real affects of a story. i think ITSAY is a great example of a really intelligent great piece of work that contains multitudes. and the girl was amazing. it just depends on the goal. and for most of the ppl the goal isnt...to do anything. so i dont know. idk how to talk abt representation anymore. it both is and isnt.

 i really liked tingting from my engineer a lot (idk if u have seen) she’s so fun and unapologetic. i love how much she drinks and if someone tells her to be ladylike she says no. and i appreciate that in the show when girls were rude to her she said nothing about the girls but said “NO IM NOT LUCKY TO HAVE ALL MALE FRIENDS?” i really want to see her more in the next season. obviously tiffy is goat. super excited to see how their rship develops.

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 3 "Like Hun....Drink Some Chamomile and Take a Chill Pill" - RTP

COLIN

RED ALERT. 

RED ALERT. [3/2/17, 8:38:33 PM] Trevor: So ummm... I'm gonna go WHAT THE HECK. DOES HE GOTTA DO THIS 22 MINUTES BEFORE THE DEADLINE. LIKE WE CAN'T EVEN REALLY TALK ABOUT IT NOW AS AN ALLIANCE. WHAT IS HE DOING. WHY IS HE DOING THIS. WHAT THE HECK. OH MY GOD I NEED TO FIGURE OUT IF I'M GONNA GO NOW. OKAY REAL TALK IM NOT AND WILL NEVER BECAUSE IM ACTUALLY LOYAL BUT STILL. WHAT THE HECK

DUNCAN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovnWp1YTRcA&feature=youtu.be To sum it up in three main points: 1. Im happy to be playing with Owen again 2. Im also just ecstatic in general to play in Ahena again, regardless of the outcome 3. On 3/2/17, at 6:25 PM, Unkie Dunkie wrote: > Fuck me up fam I’m ready to play

JD

Oh my god! What the hell's going on over there that would make them want to come here?? Three people came here, one kinda by accident sure but like... Really? We are a sweet ass tribe but like... Really? It's like someone from London moving to come ' little town ' with only 7000 people there. Something doesn't fit. I don't like it. 

RTP

Ok so we won the challenge which was awesome. I was the only one on my tribe not going to the labyrinth so fuck me eh. i feel pretty good with my ol boys alliance of matt david me and owen. hopefully we can stick it out for a while

then two people quit from odysseus and im like yasssss more ppl gone....and then there is a mutiny. i wanted to mutiny so bad just for the drama, but no one else from my tribe wanted to do it and im not gonna be the dumbass that mutinies by myself...nuh uh..... and then three people from olympus ended up on odysseus...haha omg wtf...im shocked trevor went to lydia and not to me and owen...hmm....im sus of that so now we have this reward challenge...and i make a totally normal comment like...oh hey maybe the people competing should have good survivor knowledge since the challenge is ya know...guessing survivor contestants...and duncan is like YOU DONT NEED TO KNOW SURVIVOR TO WIN THIS....like hun....drink some chamomile and take a chill pill....no technically you dont...but it sure as hell makes it easier....i guess duncan is my first target on this tribe if we lose again....whatever...bye

ROB

Yikes I doubt I made one last round. I'm basically going to rely on my Bangladesh people. I love Logan and Eddie, so they're the perfect people to work with. I like Colin too, I just need to talk to him more. Two people quit and there was a mutiny offer afterwards. Three people from my tribe mutinied when we were literally dominating challenges, sort of. We hadn't lost yet. Trevor, Sam, and Isaac were people I was wary of, so I know that I can't trust them at all since they're obviously not wanting to work with me. I know I'm not talking much, but still. Reward is basically going to rely on me since Logan and Colin aren't well-versed in Survivor and Eddie is MIA. Rip me. If we lose immunity, I feel like Colin will be the person leaving. He's literally the odd man out. Don't know if he knows it. Hopefully, at least, and in my mind. Sorry Colin. I'm screwed.

COLIN

I think I've written more confessionals for the first three rounds of this game than I did for all of PI: Malibu. Oops. But anyway.... that mutiny WHEW. Fuck those guys huh. We went from the ONLY tribe with all 7 members to......... 4 members. I knew Trevor was leaving and I lowkey had a feeling Sam and Isaac MIGHT but still for them all three to leave is such a kick in the face. That alliance between me, Logan, and Trevor lasted not even 24 hours. Not even ONE DAY yall. Hopefully we can slay these next two immunities so we don't have to go to tribal, because that would honestly suck. At least Logan and I have half the vote so that makes me feel a little bit safer, but still without majority and with the possibility of a rock draw/fire making challenge (idk how it would work if it ties) this could be devastating to my game. Anyway, thanks Trevor, you fucked over the person who trusted you the most.

ROB

Hosts are furious.

Immunity went well, bless. At least I hope so.

COLIN THIS IS MY OFFICIAL APPLICATION TO JOIN THE LOGAN FAN CLUB.

Y'all don't even know how much I love Logan. Like I am so glad I got put on a tribe with them and actually got kinda close with them. They're such a sweetheart and so easy to talk to. They are WINNING this season KNOW that. Literally my entire tribe is so cute and sweet now?? Now that the uglies and traitors have left we're all cute and adorable. God I really just hope we don't have to go to tribal at all before the swap. If I have to vote anyone on this tribe I'll cry.

ROB I think I've become the leader of the tribe. I don't want to be, but Eddie is barely here and I don't think Logan and Colin would step up to do challenges and stuff. I like everyone in the tribe and I don't want to lose these immunity challenges. The mutineers will be the first to die. Lying sucks, I'm not positive if I said yet if Sam told me he was NOT going to mutiny.

RTP

Ok so heres a pre-immunity results confessional. so my Ye Ol' Boys Club alliance is going pretty well. it doesnt seem like we are gonna be best friends but we all know its good for numbers and after that first tribal we trust each other. so that seems good for now. and knowing that we are swapping in two rounds is keeping us all from doing anything shady so that when we swap we dont have to worry about each other turning on us. that being said.... in our foursome i feel like i naturally get along with owen the best...hes the easiest for me to talk to...granted i feel pretty comfortable with all three of them....but matt just gave me some tea about the labyrinth and told me that he wasnt telling owen or david. now i have known matt for a long time and i was there for his matt fucking summers days....but i know matt has grown and thats not how he plays anymore but that reputation will never go away...there is a trick to keeping matt on your side....treat him with respect and trust what he says....if youve been friendly and honest with him he will do the same to you...and the second you question or belittle him youre as good as shit because he is already plotting your demise...hmm...treat someone with respect what a concept huh. not only that, but this makes me feel like i have a good #1 ally with matt and a good #1 ally with david. as much as i love owen i know damn well hell turn on me before trevor...and i wouldnt hold that against him...hes a good ally for numbers rn...and it helps in case i swap with trevor and can stick with him too....but i feel more secure knowing i have david and matt on my side and they are closer with me than with owen....i dont really wanna lose...but voting duncan out rn would feel pretty good...hes made some snarky comments to me a couple of times and thats really my biggest criteria for wanting people out....you sass me you get my vote

LOGAN

anyway i wanna die but yay! no loss, and im safe one more round. prayin they vote off trevor. i dont trust you.

ROB

Rob: is there an edgic? Jay: yes Rob: thanks Then I better get positive tone this episode

COLIN

OMG YES WE DID THAT. ok why am I saying we. ROB DID THAT. HE TRULY DID. MY DAD MY KING MY ICON LOVE HIM. Omg I'm so happy we don't have to go to tribal. Now we just gotta survive ONE MORE ROUND before the swap, I'm sure we can pull it off. Wish us luck <3 <3

ALI

The plan for tonight is Crow... I feel like all is going to plan, as far as I know everyone has told me they're voting Crow, bar Ryan (whose told other members of my alliance that he is) and Scott the Silent. I just lied to Crow, and feel bad, but he seems too dangerous... Also, my alliance is now me, JD, Trevor and Lydia, but I'm also close to Isaac and Sam. I feel super in control for now... I for some reason get the impression I'm about to be idoled out, but c'est la vie

TREVOR AND LYDIA

https://youtu.be/UnL6LElg4ZY

ALI

I'm super nervous for tonight. Its like 'Baby's First Blindside'- its very exciting! Anywho, I love my 'The Leal Jousewives of Atlanta' alliance (Trevor,JD,Lydia and I) and I'd hate to be idoled out, when I'm lined up so well! :(

CROW

Ugh, I have a gut feeling that it's probably me tonight, but I have been told otherwise.......lesson learned: don't try and play two games at once xD I am voting for Scott because I know he's the person most likely (behind me) to get targeted/exiled from the tribe. My strategy (although it may look like I don't have one) was to test out the "Anybody but me" strategy, but it doesn't look too good right now... Maybe I'm just paranoid and it'll be 8-1 against Scott, but I have a feeling there's scheming going on that will likely result in my elimination. If I survive this, I pray there's a tribe swap so I can effectively redo my social game LOL, if not, well.....I'll just have to scrap along!

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158048895251/tribal-council-2