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basilrazzledazzle · 4 years ago

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dating the haikyuu boys, pt 2

y'all REALLY liked that last one omg so here's a few more.

(a/n: i have written kageyama's part three times and oikawa's twice why can't this stupid app SAVE MY DRAFTS)

anyway this one is dedicated my one and only follower you're a real one homie 😌

Kageyama Tobio

he was the one to ask you out

tbh he had probably been pining for a hot minute before he finally got himself together

you had been helping him in class during free time because ya boy isn't the smartest and needed someone to help him study

and one day he was watching you explain a concept and he couldn't help but notice wow uh,,, y/n is really cute,, wait what??

anyway there's a big test coming up and our boy kags is stressing

so you volunteer to help him after school

but he has practice

so you both decide that you'd go to his house after practice

so you meet him at the school and you guys walk together

and you hadn't really talked about your personal lives

but he told you about how much volleyball and his friends meant to him

which was kinda wild because you had always thought of him as cute but intimidating

so anyway you stayed over for a little over an hour but it was getting late

and as you're getting ready to leave he volunteers to walk you home

you oblige because it's getting late plus you don't mind the thought of being together in the dark

and turns out he's just an absolute dork because he's cracking jokes the whole way home

and before you go inside he gets kinda flustered

"hey y/n?"

"mhm?"

"would you uh,, wanna hang out this friday?"

"but we don't have any tests or anything monday??"

just bc you're tutoring him doesn't mean you're not a dumbass

"no like a,, uh like a date"

o h

you agree ofc because who in their right mind would turn him down

i really think he would do something like taking you to an aquarium

mostly because he likes to watch you get excited over all the colorful fish

i've decided that kageyama doesn't know what to do with pda

because ya boy definitely gets flustered easily

however

he could never get upset with your affection

so you guys talked a lot during school but i feel like the most pda that would happen would be like hand holding

anyway after a couple weeks of dating you're walking to his house with him

and you mention that you're kinda chilly and wish you had brought your sweater

this boy has his jacket off in an instant

and also insists you wear it when he walks you to your house after "studying"

and you're wearing it at lunch the next day

and hinata asks kags why you have it

and since our favorite tangerine cannot keep his mouth shut, half the school knows by the end of the week

Oikawa Tooru

he asked you

he knew he had almost all of the school wrapped around his finger

except you were always one to call him out on his bullshit

and he found that hot

anyway he was kind of low-key flustered when he was asking you out

the two of you were both the captains of your volleyball teams

so you had that in common

and his excuse to talk to you was for you to teach him how to gain the respect of his teammates

you said he couldn't get anyone's respect if he continued to act as arrogant as he did

which kinda threw him off

but he asked you out anysay

you. laughed.

"are you serious?"

"why wouldn't i be serious??"

you agreed to ONE date

but it turned into several

anyway

this boy LIVES to show you off

would literally swoop by your locker in between classes just to give you a kiss

low-key clingy asf

one day you mysteriously found his volleyball jacket in your locker

you could take a hint

he saw you wearing it after school and OH BOY

he was whipped

you probably could've gotten away with murder if you had been wearing his jacket, he thought

lots of movie dates at his house

and even though he liked to talk a lot he was surprisingly a good listener

mostly because he thought it was hot seeing you angry as you wanted over the latest bullshit

it took him a bit to open up to you tbh

but he became very vulnerable about how he was scared to let down his team

on another note

he knew he could get anything he wanted when he was wearing his glasses

god he's such an asshole

but so attractive

Daichi Sawamura

he asked you out but also technically didn't

but boy was FLUSTERED

like he was so nervous

even though you guys had a pretty good relationship already and had amazing chemistry

you guys had been friends for a while

and you were hanging out at the library

supposedly studying but in reality most of the time had been spent joking around and goofing off

he was really trying his best to stay on task but you kept finding memes that you just had to show him

so you leaned over close to him with your phone in hand

and your boy just went for it

he pulled away almost immediately though

"y/n i am so sorry i shouldn't have done that-"

you kissed again him just to shut him up

which he was completely okay with

but then you realized you were in a library

where making out was generally frowned up

it took a minute before you officially became a couple though

tbh you were probably wearing his jacket before you were official

and when you were wearing his jacket??

oh boy

you could have gotten your way with anything

he was so whipped and seeing you in his clothes just had him wrapped around your finger

dates with him were probably pretty casual tbh

lots of cuddling at each other's houses while watching netflix

arguments only happen because you don't like him overworking himself

even then it's not a full blown argument

he'll just keep doing what he's doing (homework, volleyball shit, etc) and give you some bs excuse about him having to hold himself to high standards

other than that he's extremely agreeable and willing to compromise with anything

ugh i just love him sm

Hinata Shoyo

you asked him

you had most of your classes together and found his cheerfulness infectious

and one day you were in the courtyard setting a volleyball against the wall and you heard him come up behind you

"hey y/n!! will you set to me?"

after that you guys had an immediate friendship

plus you lived near each other, so when he didn't have practice, you guys walked together most of the way home

he was very energetic and practically bouncing the whole way home

so one day you decided to just go for it

"hey shoyo, are you busy this friday?"

he wasn't

"do you wanna,, i dunno, hang out?"

"what, do you wanna practice?"

ugh he's so oblivious what a dummy

"no, like a date"

boy turned RED he didn't know what to do

"uh, y-yeah! sure!"

idk i feel like going to a park with him would be cute

y'all would get some sort of fast food to take with you and just hang out on the swings and talk

it was chill but also allowed him to move around a lot because you already know this boy cannot sit still

anyway you were walking back that night and he noticed you shiver

bc it was kinda chilly

and he's like "hey y/n are you cold?"

and you assure him you're fine

but he insists you take his jacket anyway

because wow a gentleman

and surprisingly it's tsukishima who notices you with it on monday because you had first period with him

"hey what're you doing wearing shorty's jacket, y/n?"

"y/n's and i are dating, thank you very much! they can wear my jacket as they please."

tsukki couldn't believe it

neither could anyone else tbh

but you were both happy and that's all that mattered :))

ahh anyway that's what i have for them. i hope u enjoy these!! i really have fun writing them but they take forever omg

feel free to request a one shot / imagine or something like this!! i need something to fill my time lmao

anyway thank u for reading!! please like n reblog (if u wanna, ofc) ily all!!

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zwritestuff · 4 years ago

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Some Things Are Bound To Be (Kyara) - Epilogue

A/N: This is it homies. We've made it. I'm sorry it took me so long to post the epilogue, I hit writers block and tbh didn't want to let go of this fic. I tried to make the epilogue longer, but at the end of the day I don't think that's necessary. A big thanks to Emerald for being my biggest supporter during this ride and beta-ing every single chapter. Also, a huge thanks to the people that stuck around even after the season finished, I treasure all of you 💕 I have thought of a sequel focused on another ship that didn't get to shine here, but it's still a thought. I hope you all enjoy the epilogue. 💕

Find the rest of the chapters here | Read on ao3.

Kyne has no idea why she’s so sweaty.

Under normal circumstances, she’d be annoyed. Instead, she has Priyanka talking her ear off on one side, giving her one of her usual pep talks, while Bobo on the other is trying to get her eyeliner as sleek as possible. Bo has her head in her wardrobe, criticizing each and every clothing item she owns. That would gain a hundred eye-rolls from her—but then again, these are no normal circumstances.

She’s had dates before, despite what Priyanka might try to say, it’s just that they were never all that exciting. She was lucky if she was interested enough in someone to accept to go on a second date, and third dates were unheard of for her.

The fact she’s this nervous over her first real date with Kiara should be a surprise, considering she still swings by her office every day, coffee and cupcakes in tow, they still go out for lunch almost every day, they’ve been together just yesterday at work, not even 24 hours ago; but still, she can’t help the anticipation welling up inside her—it’s one thing to grab lunch together, to have movie nights and stay over at each other’s places when they think it’s completely platonic; but once they acknowledge the feelings meddling in the middle, it becomes harder to keep their cool.

It’s just a date with Kiki, she thinks, trying to keep her calm. It’s just Kiki, she repeats it like a mantra, because it’s really not that deep. She knows how to talk to Kiara, how to get out of her those throaty laughs that echo through the room and make her eyes crinkle at the corners. It shouldn’t be all that different from their usual “dates.”

Then again, if that’s the case, why does she feel like her brain has been replaced with TV static once the time for Kiara to pick her up arrives?

Kyne’s going to dig a hole through the carpet pacing back and forth. She doesn’t think she was ever this nervous, not even during her final exam to graduate.

“Don’t stress too much about it,” Scarlett yells out from the bathroom, possibly—definitely—smoking against the window. “She already looks at you like she wants to propose every time you open your mouth, a date can’t be all that bad.” Kyne’s cheeks heat up, not even bothering to yell out anything because she’s too busy chewing on her nails while she waits for a text from Kiara.

And then it comes through.

‘I’m parking, I’ll be up in a second,’ followed by a red heart. Kyne smiles unconsciously as she grabs her purse and jacket, and turns to Priyanka and Bo sitting on her couch, intently looking at her.

“Right. So, you two keep your hands out of my fridge, don’t let Bobo stain the whole place with smoke, and for the love of god, don’t blow up my phone every ten minutes,” she says, like she’s a single mother giving her children instruction before going out on her first date in years. She stops to wonder why she ever allowed them in in the first place, but considering Priyanka has a spare key, they probably would’ve entered anyway.

They nod with childish grins, and Kyne paces around for a little while before there’s a knock on the door and she nearly jumps out of her skin.

It’s just a date, she thinks one last time.

Then she opens the door, and she feels her cool fade away the moment she sees Kiara’s smile.

“Hey,” they say at the same time, eliciting a chuckle from the other.

“You look really nice,” Kiara offers as a compliment, the smile on her face never faltering. Kyne opens her mouth to return the compliment, when she hears Priyanka and Bo snicker behind her back, making Kiara cock a brow and look past the door. “Ah, nice seeing you guys,” she says awkwardly, waving at them.

“Looking good, Kiki. Have fun, don’t make stupid decisions again,” Priyanka calls out as Kyne shuts the door behind her, mumbling apologies about her friends as they walk to the elevator.

“Nah, don’t worry about it, Rita and Tynomi came over to bother me before I left, too. I get it.” She rolls her eyes, scoffing with an amused smile, and Kyne feels the nerves melt away as she laughs, hooking an arm around Kiara’s biceps, letting her head fall against her arm.

“I have no idea why I ever thought giving Priyanka a spare key would be a good idea,” Kyne comments, chuckling slightly as Kiara recalls that one time she gave Tynomi her apartment keys so she could water her plants while she was away, and she has yet to return the keys.

Kyne makes a comment about not having noticed Kiara’s plants in all the times she visited, and Kiara just shrugs with an embarrassed expression. “Yeah, that’s ‘cause I don’t have any right now—I don’t have a green thumb like you, y’know? My plants always end up dead one way or another,” she admits, as the elevator opens its doors and they step outside.

“I can help you grow some stuff, I think we have plenty of time ahead of us for that,” she comments, meaning it, but Kiara has that shit-eating grin on her face that makes Kyne roll her eyes right away.

“How are we going to grow a garden in just a few hours?” She asks, leaning in on Kyne, and she’s feeling generous tonight, so she doesn’t shove her off, saying how corny she is; she just scoffs and softly headbutts her.

“You know what I meant, dumbass,” Kyne says, the affection in her tone palpable despite the name calling. Kiara doesn’t seem to mind; she smiles cheerily as she opens the car door for her, and Kyne dreads the moment their hands let go, if only for a couple of seconds.

“I know, I know,” Kiara chuckles after a moment, fastening her seatbelt so the annoying beep will stop. She turns to look at Kyne with a smile as she turns on the engine, “I’d love to have a garden with you, babe,” she says, with a tone so soft Kyne can tell she means it. She gets the car going, searching for Kyne’s hand almost right away, giving it a small squeeze before lacing them together.

She’s not sure if it’s the fact she hasn’t had a proper date in a long time, that she’s waited a long time to be like this with Kiara, or just that all of this seems straight out of a romantic movie, one she thought she’s never get to live herself—but she feels like a teenager in love all over again, wanting to dive head first into what she has going on with Kiara without a helmet, because she knows she’ll be there to catch her when she falls.

A week after their first date, Kyne gives Kiara a pot of dahlias, and promises to help her not let them die. If Kiara catches the symbolism behind it, she doesn’t say anything, just gives Kyne a kiss and promises to take great care of them.

Red camellias come next, some weeks after the dahlias, when Kyne thinks Kiara is doing a good job with them. Then, a small arrangement of orchids—Kiara notices the pattern at some point, and just smiles and kisses her forehead when Kyne brings her a new plant.

The dates keep on coming, and so do the flowers and indoor plants; Kiara eventually runs out of space to put them. Kyne isn’t of much help, either, since her place is small and barely fits her own plants.

“It’s not fair,” Kiara childishly complains one day, while Kyne’s staying over. They’re cuddled up on the couch, not paying attention to whatever it is that Kiara randomly selected from Netflix’s catalog. “A flower shop opened around the block, do you know how much I have to contain myself to not enter and buy everything when I ride past it to work?” She pouts, adding a vocal fry to really get her point across.

Kyne just laughs, amused at her girlfriend’s antics, while five different types of flowers hang from the sides of the TV. Maybe getting her into gardening wasn’t such a good idea.

“If space was really the problem, you’d be throwing out stuff to bring in more plants,” Kyne comments, not really giving it much more than a second thought.

But Kiara bites her lip, fidgets with her fingers for a little while, and avoids Kyne’s gaze for a solid minute. Kyne knows that demeanor all too well.

“No, yeah, I know. But, like, I dunno, I’ve been thinking about moving somewhere else, somewhere bigger, obviously, where the sun actually can come through and I don’t have to haul a bunch of plants in the same five spots,” she explains, stammering over her words, visibly nervous. Kyne prompts her to go on, knowing there’s more to it. Kiara breathes in hard, looking at her straight in the eyes. “And - and I want to live with you, too.”

The world seems to stop during the seconds it takes Kyne to process what she just said.

When it dawns on her, the sun seems warmer, birds are chirping and the flowers are in full bloom—even if they’re in the middle of winter and there are no birds in the city. That’s just what love does, she suposes.

“I’d love to move in with you,” she says softly, pulling her in for a hug, and Kiara breathes out a long sigh of relief.

She’s ready to plant a long-lasting garden with Kiara.

#fake dating au #some things are bound to be fic #kyara #kyne #online kyne #kiara schatzi #rpdr fanfiction #my fanfiction

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cilliankelly · 4 years ago

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DRUNK ON HALLOWEEN

FEAT: cillian & @judetaylorhq

WHEN: the halloween party (2020)

DESCRIPTION: the thread that started it all, for the first time ever, coming to a dash near you. cillian kisses jude for the first time and everything he’s ever known changes forever. in the best possible way.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: gay panic, light internalized homophobia\

Cillian

cillian was nice and drunk. not so much so that he couldn’t see straight, but he was definitely feeling good, almost kind of floating from one room to the next, though in reality it was more of a clumsy stagger. he was wandering around, exploring the house, admiring the spooky decorations that he really couldn’t appreciate until he was like, 5 drinks deep, when he stumbled into the bedroom. he was pretty sure someone was sitting on the bed and the first thought that came to his drunken mind was aw hellz yeah because admittedly, cillian was a pretty horny drunk. once he realized it was his best friend though, he got even more excited because finally, he’d run into someone he actually knew at this damn party. “dude, you dunno how stoked i am to see you, man,” he enthused, words a bit slurred as he crossed the room to sit beside jude. “now the party can really begin.”

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫.

Jude had only stepped away from the party to smoke a joint, sure getting drunk was a blast and all, but being around a bunch of people he didn't know? Made him a little on edge, he'd slipped into a bedroom, opened the window and made himself at home, and high. Once he was done, he'd decided to take a nice nap, and it wasn't until the door opened and a drunk Cillian stumbled in that he remembered he was at a party, "Bro..." He chuckled, looking up at Cillian, "Duh, homie, we are the party." He grinned, sitting up further and staring at Cillian. "Every chick I've talked to here has a baby." He'd talked to one person, but that was enough for him to draw his own conclusion, "I'm not ready to make a baby momma." He shrugged, perfect logic was clearly top of mind for him tonight and he picked up his mask, holding it up over his face and leaning closer to Cillian, "Cil, would you still love me if I was a worm? Or this dude?" He asked, nearly giggling behind is mask before he dropped it, only then realize how close he was to Cillian's face, "I'd still love you if you were a termite, but I draw the line at worms. Slithering bastards, you know?"

Cillian

cillian couldn’t help but snort at jude’s comment about making a baby momma, his own mind straying to the 0.2 seconds he thought ellie’s baby was somehow his even though they hadn’t seen each other in over a year. he certainly wasn’t ready for that either. “wouldn’t be surprised if there was already a jude jr running around somewhere out there,” he joked, nudging his friends shoulder playfully. god, he was so glad he’d run into jude. things were just so much easier when he was around, honestly. cillian didn’t remember the last time he felt so at ease, though the alcohol was certainly helping with that. cillian didn’t really do the whole i love you thing. there were very few people in his life that had ever told him that and even fewer who’d actually meant it so it was a kind of tricky emotion for him, even in playful situations like this when it didn’t really have to mean anything. but for some reason, probably alcohol fueled reasons, cillian was giving this some serious thought. “a worm?” he asked, and now he was leaning in a little closer because it was actually kind of dark in here and cillian’s vision was already kind of shit, and he wasn’t sure who jude was even supposed to be and suddenly, the mask was gone and his nose really wasn’t all that far from jude’s. and cillian, the guy who couldn’t even tell jude his ass looked nice in a joking matter was sporting a shit eating grin just thinking about the next words to tumble out of his mouth. “of course you’d still love me of i were a termite. i’d be all over your wood.” it wasn’t a good joke but it was definitely an attempt at a joke about sucking jude’s dick and honestly??? as shit a joke as it was it was at least progress. and because he was in a rather playful mood, he leaned forward and lightly booped jude’s nose with his own, hovering close afterwards instead of pulling away.

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫.

Jude shook his head, "you wish, buddy." he shrugged though, maybe he did have a kid out there somewhere, maybe that would be cool, to have a little person just like him around, but he was pretty sure he wasn't ready for that. he always thought he'd do the whole, have a wife before kids happen thing and so far, he hadn't met any girls lining up to play the part. "mm, a worm." he repeated back, his face still close, grinning when Cillian spoke and letting out a soft laugh. If he was sober he might have more to say, he might throw a friendly punch, or shove Cillian away, but up close and drunk, he never really had been this close to Cillian before. Not like this, and he wasn't hating the way he felt to almost feel the other against himself. "If you were on my wood I'd make sure you had a great time." He finally spoke, leaning up, sure that Cillian was going to kiss him before their noses touched and Jude let out a breath of surprise, "You're an asshole." He murmured, but he didn't pull away, instead lifting a hand to rest on Cillian's thigh, "So...if I was a chick, you'd totally be into me, right?"

Cillian

this was usually the point where cillian would pull away, laugh this off, push jude away and make some snide comment like he always did. but something about jude’s hand on cillian’s thigh was both scary and exciting and cillian didn’t want to pull away. there was something there between them and it definitely wasn’t just drunken horniness. if cillian was being honest with himself, a small part of him always kind of wondered about them in a different way. a more than friends kind of way. and he told himself that it didn’t mean anything because he’d thought those things about girls before but he didn’t actually want to date any of them. he was just curious. and was being curious really such a bad thing? usually when cillian started thinking like this he could hear his dad’s voice echoing in his head, telling him he was a fucking fairy and that he needed to be a man and that was usually enough to shut him down and quiet those thoughts for awhile. but here in bed next to his best friend, being this close to him, their lips inches apart, cillian couldn’t help but feel like there was something right about this. and for once he didn’t feel the need to bury those feelings way down deep below the surface. at jude’s words, cillian wrinkled his nose. “i can’t even picture you like a chick, man.” and cillian didn’t want to. he liked jude just the way he was, wanted him like that. there was a bit of fear turning his stomach, warning him to step away from the ledge before he got to close. but there was another stronger part of him that was urging him forward. without really thinking about it, cillian poked jude gently in the abs. “i’d miss those,” he sighed, drunk enough now that the idea of missing jude’s abs was making him actually sad. “n’ those...” he continued, his fingers continuing upwards and ghosting lightly over jude’s pecs. “and...” his fingers stopped when they reached the neckline of his shirt, his fingers hooking into the material as he hesitated for a moment, hovering just over jude’s lips. he was conscious of his own actions enough to know that this was a big deal and that doing this was crossing into something that he couldn’t undo. but he was also drunk enough not to care. fearful he’d lose his nerve, cillian pulled jude in by his shirt collar, their lips crashing together into a kiss that was far from hesitant.

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫.

Jude pouted, "I could try, I'm really pretty, you know." He spoke softly, watching Cillian's face as his hand moved, he was surprised, usually about now was when he'd expect some sort of homophobic comment, maybe a shove at the very least, but instead Cillian was touching him, his abs, his chest, up to his collar and Jude's eyes widened, "So you have...been looking?" he questioned with genuine curiosity, usually it was just a joke, between friends, the was Cillian protested always made Jude laugh and he'd never really truly considered the idea that Cillian might be so loud about it because he secretly did have feelings towards him. He almost stopped Cillian, opening up his mouth to speak, to make a joke, a comment, anything to get the lump in his throat to go away but before he could think of anything clever, Cillian was pulling him close and oh, they were kissing. Cillian was kissing him, and all Jude could do was decide how to react. And that choice was easy, he slide one hand further up Cillian's thigh, leaning in, kissing him back, in a sloppy manner, that was just how Jude did things, is free hand moving to Cillian's waist and pulling him in. It felt good, in a way Jude wasn't sure he'd felt with anyone before, but then, he didn't usually go around making out with his best friend, so it made sense that this was new, exciting and unique for him, and he already felt a sense of dread for the moment it would end.

Cillian

cillian hadn’t really known what to expect when he kissed jude. cillian didn’t usually think too much about the consequences, like ever, so he hadn’t even taken a moment to consider what would have happened if jude hadn’t kissed him back. but he did and a cillian felt a weight slide from his shoulders as he relaxed into the kiss, surprised at how happy he was that his best friend was kissing him. cillian liked to think that he’d been around the block enough times that he really had this kissing thing down, but kissing another dude was so wildly different than anything he’d ever experienced before. thank god for alcohol because there was a messy tangle of conflicting emotions swirling around in his gut and he didn’t know that he could fight them off for very much longer without the help of booze. cillian hummed against jude’s lips, leaning into it when pulled closer. he tasted like alcohol and he smelled of weed and him and the familiarity was both comforting and somehow arousing in a way that cillian wasn’t sure he’d ever experienced. everything about this was so new and honestly really scary and while cillian usually had no trouble pushing away those uneasy feelings in the name of a good time, he was starting to panic a little about how good this felt. the uneasiness was only that much more unavoidable when cillian felt himself becoming hard in response to jude’s lips on his, and the way his hand was moving up cillian’s thigh. cillian broke the kiss, taking in a shuddery breath, though he didn’t pull away, still hovering near. he was disoriented and confused, knowing what he wanted but too afraid to just let himself have it. “holy shit,” cillian breathed, because his brain wasn’t working properly enough to put together a more coherent response.

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫.

Jude had never really been the type to fully think out his actions before he went through with them, but under normal circumstances he would have thought a lot more about this action before he allowed himself to indulge. Of course, he'd always felt a certain level of attraction towards Cillian, he was cute, he was a lot of fun, and they were buds, they'd seen each other through a lot, and Jude was pretty sure they'd make a dope bro-couple. But Cillian had always been a little...unaccepting of things, he wasn't exactly what Jude would call open-minded, that was the main reason Jude always teased him about liking boys, and wanting to touch Jude's butt. Only...apparently he'd be right, and for a moment he felt a sense of guilt about not being more understanding towards someone who'd been struggling, much to his own oblivion. Still, all he really could focus on in the moment was the way Cillian's lips and body felt against his own, and even as Cillian pulled away, he found himself leaning in closer, chasing after that feeling still as Cillian spoke. "Yeah...whoa." He chuckled breathlessly, finally relenting, pulling back, staring at Cillian for a moment before he broke the silence again, "Okay...hit me." He shrugged, "Do your worse, buddy, it's cool. I mean that was totally hot, but...this is the part where you call me a slur and punch me, right?"

Cillian

under normal circumstances cillian might have done just that. though honestly, under normal circumstances, cillian doubted they ever would have kissed in the first place. everything about this was a weird tangled mess of newness and cillian didn’t know what to do. he was quiet, his eyes lifting to meet jude’s before looking away again. jude had been right, this is the part where cillian’s supposed to shove him away and act like this didn’t happen and deny deny deny because that’s what he’d always been good at. but cillian hadn’t expected to enjoy this so much and it honestly had him kind of shaken up. “i’m not— i mean this doesn’t make me—“ he couldn’t say it. he just kept hearing his dad in his head berating him and making him feel small. “i mean it’s you,” he breathed, not really knowing what he meant by that but feeling that it somehow made sense. like it couldn’t have been anyone else. this was somehow different than... shit, this was all so confusing.

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫.

It was surprising, when Cillian said nothing, even more when he did speak, and Jude let out a long breath before looking to Cillian, studying his face for a moment before he fell backwards against the bed, pulling Cillian with him so they laid on their sides, face to face, "It's me. Which means this can mean something or not. Totally up to you, dude." He offered a weak smile, "If you want to act like it never happened, that's cool. And if you want to start coming over and finally seeing what all the fuss about my butt is, be my guest." He shrugged his shoulders, "You know I have some edibles in my backpack if you want?"

Cillian

cillian allowed himself to be pulled down on the bed beside jude, conscious of the way his heart rate went up as a result. if he hadn’t been so drunk he would have been really grateful that jude was being so cool about this when cillian was so obviously out of sorts. kissing your best friend was always risky even when there wasn’t that whole questioning your sexuality layer and cillian hadn’t even given thought to how this may have affected their friendship. did cillian want this to mean something? regardless, it already did, and try as he might to shake it, cillian knew he wouldn’t forget it. but jude was giving him that option. and it was a really tempting option. it was so much easier to just go on pretending. but cillian remembered that moment of bliss when jude had kissed him and the weight had slid from his shoulders and cillian wasn’t sure he’d trade that for the current mess of weird confusion and unease he was feeling right now. that’d he’d felt for most of his young adult life, really. “well, what do you want?” cillian asked quietly in an attempt to remove a bit of the pressure on him, though admittedly, once the words were out of his mouth he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫.

"Me?" Jude asked, as if Cillian could have asked someone else in the moment, Jude wasn't used to being the one with the choice, in relationships or anything else, but he took a moment to think about it anyways. What did he want? Being in a relationship sounded nice, it had been a long time since he'd tried to do that, but then, Cillian probably wasn't open to that. And Jude hadn't really ever considered it before, because he never expected this to happen, still, it wasn't the worst idea he'd ever had. "I dunno man. I want like, whatever you're cool with. Because I mean, this is kind of huge for you. And I'm proud of you and all that shit. But like, I wouldn't mind making out with you some more, if that's one of my options?" He grinned, "That part was pretty dope, if you ask me."

Cillian

this was kind of huge for him. and honestly? the fact that cillian hadn’t left already in an angry sort of confused storm of... something? progress. he couldn’t remember the last time someone had told him they were proud of him and it felt kind of really good to hear someone say that. and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t happy that jude wanted to do it all over again because yeah, it was pretty dope. and cillian couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed a kiss as much as he had that one. but this was also really overwhelming and before cillian knew what he was doing he was sitting up and putting distance between them. “i think i need a minute. or like... a lot of minutes,” he said finally. because cillian really wasn’t sure what he was “cool with” right now, and being this close to jude wasn’t helping. “but um... thanks man,” he said, his smile small but genuine. because really he was lucky that jude was such a good friend. because this could have gone a whole hell of a lot worse.

𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫.

He half thought Cillian was about to lean in and kiss him again, but when his best friend pulled away he wasn't really all that surprised, he'd been expecting it this whole time, he wasn't trying to kid himself, Cillian wasn't the man of his dreams, he couldn't even accept the fact that he was into dudes, let alone actually be with one. Still...it stung a little, the way he pulled away, asked for time, and Jude tried to be understanding as much as it sucked. "Yeah man." He shrugged it off, as if he didn't care all that much, but much to his own surprise it did hurt. A lot. "It's whatever, you know? We're both faded as hell." He got up, standing and collecting his wallet, shoving it into his pocket and pulling his backpack on, "See you around, bro. Bring M&Ms next time."

Cillian

cillian hadn’t expected to feel so shitty when jude shrugged it off like that. seconds ago he was contemplating pretending this had never happened, knowing he’d never forget it and now that jude was halfway out the door, cillian was miffed that jude was acting like they were just both really faded? cillian knew that jude was probably doing this for his benefit but at the same time it kind of stung. because yeah, this had been a big deal. there was a panic rising in his chest at the idea of really having fucked this up because cillian really didn’t have that many friends and jude had stuck by him through pretty much everything. shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck, why did feelings have to be so confusing. this is precisely why cillian had never given thought to being in an actual relationship with anyone. it was too much. and despite all that, all cillian could think to do was kind of nod in jude’s direction as he left, sitting alone on the bed wondering what the fuck he was supposed to do now.

#and look how far they've come #i just needed this immortalized on my blog #discord #threads → cillian & jude

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arcanelaurels · 7 years ago

Note

I’ve been super into taakitz college AU, could you write them meeting for the first time, like humping into each other at a party or something like that? ❤️❤️

Anon I’m fucking DYING did you mean to say “humping” or “bumping” bc I’m???? losing my goddamn MIND akdsknksljk

I love this and now I gotta write both

Kravitz hated parties. He didn’t even know why he kept going to them. Maybe it was the idea of putting off schoolwork for another night. Maybe it was the free alcohol. Or maybe it was the hesitant promise of meeting someone new and exciting, of having a good time.

But that never happened. No, instead it always ended up the same way. Him being too self-conscious to get any further gone than tipsy while everyone around him got plastered. On the dance floor, people clung to each other in the darkness and the heat and the music that was so loud it was practically suffocating. He never asked anyone to dance. Occasionally, girls emboldened by alcohol would approach him, but he simply refused, not bothering to explain that they weren’t exactly his type.

It got to the point - the way it always did - where Kravitz felt like if he spent another second here he would suffocate. He drained the last of his drink and threw the cup aside, preparing himself to make his way across the dance floor since it was the only way to get to the exit.

He started pushing his way through the throng of people, not even bothering to excuse himself because he knew they would forget within seconds. He was nearly out of the sea of people when he felt warm arms wrap around his neck and an even warmer body press up against his side. Flustered and surprised, he looked down and immediately felt a blush rise to his face when he recognized Taako.

Kravitz didn’t know him, per se. They were in the same large lecture class of more than a hundred students, and under normal circumstances someone from that class would’ve been insignificant to him.

Except that Taako had a very…distinctive look. He always arrived to class dressed like he was a grown version of a Disney Channel character, with questionable layers of clothing and odd accessories that somehow worked, probably just because it was him. He tended to sleep through class, only waking up when the professor would notice his snoozing and ask him a question about the material (because she was that kind of professor). Every single time, Taako answered the question perfectly and then almost immediately went back to sleep. Kravitz often wondered why he even bothered to show up at all, and was certain that Taako didn’t even know he existed.

How Taako had been at this party this long without Kravitz’s knowledge was a mystery. But that question was pushed out of his mind because right now Taako was very drunk and…well…grinding against his leg.

Kravitz froze, unsure how to react as Taako swayed and ran his hands over him, occasionally flipping his half-undone braid over his shoulder before pressing closer to him. Panicking, Kravitz took Taako’s hands and pried them off of him, only to have them return as soon as he tried to move away. He needed to get some air now, so he quickly moved away and off the dance floor, vaguely registering that Taako was still clinging to him.

They got to the door and Kravitz turned back to try to unstick Taako from him again, only for him to groan and pout, walking his fingers up Kravitz’s chest.

“Wha’s wrong, handsome?” Taako’s voice was barely loud enough to be heard over the music. “Dunno how to dance?” He leaned in closer, his breath hot in Kravitz’s ear. “Why don’ we go back t’ my place and’ll teach ya?”

Kravitz swallowed dryly, his face burning. “You’re drunk,” He argued back loudly.

Taako’s pout deepened. “And you’re no fun. I’ve-I’ve seen you,” He slurred, swaying and using Kravitz to stay upright. “You’re the guy who stares ‘t me in class. You’re lucky you’re fuckin’…hot.”

Kravitz hadn’t thought his face could heat up anymore than it was, but he was proven wrong. “I don’t-”

“But if you,” Taako interrupted, jabbing a finger to Kravitz’s chest. “Dont’ wanna fuck me,” He pointed to himself. “Then I’ll jus’ find someone else.” He stood up a bit straighter and turned away.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Kravitz grabbed Taako by the wrist. “I don’t think that’s the best idea.” Taako was definitely not in a good state to be making those kinds of decisions.

Taako willingly let himself be pulled back, overdoing it and pressing himself against Kravitz’s chest. He smirked up at him. “Hmm, change your mind?”

Kravitz looked around, feeling the crowd and the music start to overwhelm him again. “Why don’t we step outside?” He asked and, not waiting for an answer, opened the door and guided Taako out of the house.

It was a cool fall evening and the wind was extremely refreshing after the humidity of the party. Kravitz felt himself start to relax almost immediately while Taako shivered, instinctively pressing against him for warmth only to pull away again.

“Jeez, homie, you’re fuggin’ freezing,” He looked Kravitz up and down. “What are you?”

“Kind of a rude way to ask that,” Kravitz dodged the question as he led Taako to the steps and sat them both down on the edge. He took off his jacket and put it around Taako’s shoulders, who immediately took it and pulled it tighter around him. Kravitz took out his phone and ordered an Uber.

“Thought you were a human,” Taako muttered as he leaned his head on Kravitz’s shoulder. Kravitz didn’t bother pointing out that most humans didn’t have dark red eyes. The breeze picked up and he saw Taako’s free ear twitch a bit in reaction.

“You sure you don’t wanna fuck?” Taako spoke up again.

Kravitz snorted. “Maybe some other time. As long as you’re sober and still want to.”

“Pfft.” Taako lifted his head, his unfocused eyes somewhat trained to Kravitz’s face. “I’ve been wanting to fuck you since the first day of class, my dude,” He said, prompting Kravitz to blush again.

Taako’s eyes suddenly narrowed and he stared at Kravitz more intently. He leaned forward as if intending to kiss him, but Kravitz leaned back, pressing a hand to Taako’s chest to stop him.

“Again,” Kravitz said, trying to stay composed as he pushed Taako into an upright position and sat back up. “You’re drunk.”

Taako scoffed. “Course I decide to go after a gentleman,” He grumbled. “And I thought today couldn’t get any worse.”

“What do you mean?”

Taako eyed him warily. “I don’t owe you my life story, kemosabe.”

Kravitz laughed nervously. “Sorry, didn’t mean to pry.”

“Ugh,” Taako leaned his head against Kravitz’s shoulder again. “There you go being nice again. Just like my sister’s stupid boyfriend. She’s been in love with the guy for years. Years. Who the fuck waits that long before making a move? It’s like…who are you and what have you done with my sister, yanno?”

Kravitz did not know. He made a noncommittal noise.

“Anyway I’ve never met the guy before and she refused to show me any pictures of him. But they’re dating now and I met him and?” His pitch rose like he was asking a question and he lifted his head again to look at Kravitz. “He’s a fuggin’ nerd. He wears jeans like, every day. Blue jeans. He’s gonna make her like, start caring about school or somethin’. Turn her into a nerd too so she’s not fun anymore. My sister’s dating a nerd, Krav. Can you believe that?”

You know my name? Kravitz wanted to ask, feeling a strange warmth in his chest. Instead, he shrugged. “I’ve never met your sister, but if she’s anything like you, I doubt that’ll happen,” He chuckled. “And besides, as long as he’s a good person and cares about her, does it matter?”

Taako narrowed his eyes at him and was silent for a few moments. “You’re a nerd, too, aren’t you?”

Kravitz laughed nervously. “That’s-”

Taako interrupted him with a groan. “Gods, what is this, karma or something? Of course I’ve got a crush on a nerd, too.”

“I’m not- You have a crush on me?” Kravitz asked, struggling to process what Taako had said.

“I called you hot, didn’t I?” Was his only response, as if that was enough of an explanation.

Kravitz was trying to find something to say when a car pulled up a little ways away and he got his Uber notification. “C’mon,” He grunted as he stood up and pulled Taako up with him.

They got into the car with some trouble from an off-balance Taako. The driver was a larger man who wasn’t paying much attention to them. “Ready to go?” He asked.

“Um, if it’s not too much trouble, could we make another stop before you take me to my place?” Kravitz asked, untangling Taako’s arms from around him.

“Sure thing, buddy,” The man answered, taking his phone off of its stand and preparing to put in a new address. “Where to?”

“Uh,” Kravitz turned to Taako, who was staring with intent confusion at the seat belt that he was holding in his hand, not having buckled up yet. “Where do you live?”

“Wherever you want me to, sweet cheeks,” Taako responded, doing his best to give Kravitz a sexy glance through half-lidded eyes that just ended up looking comical.

Hearing his voice, the driver turned around. “Taako?”

Taako’s face lit up. “Mags! Fancy meetin’ you here!”

“You two know each other?” Kravitz asked, leaning over to help Taako buckle in.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” The man explained, sounding a bit irritated now. “Don’t worry, I know where he lives. I’m Magnus, by the way.” He shifted gears and started driving. “You one of Taako’s conquests? You’re not taking advantage of my boy, are you?”

Kravitz felt his face heat up again as he finished buckling Taako up, very aware of his hot breath on his neck. He sat back in his seat. “N-No, I’m not. We ran into each other at that party and, well,” He glanced over at Taako before catching Magnus’s eye in the rearview mirror. “I was worried about his safety.”

“Aww, are you sweet on him?” Magnus asked, laughing when Kravitz spluttered. “I’m kidding, thanks for keeping an eye out for him. Taako doesn’t always make the best decisions.”

“I’m right here,” Taako crossed his arms defensively.

“Good thing, too,” Magnus said. “What were you thinking, going to a party alone? Were you trying to get yourself hurt? Or worse?”

Taako scoffed. “I can hold my own. I’ve got magic powers, you know.”

“So do lots of other people,” Magnus argued. “You’re lucky he’s a decent guy,” He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder in Kravitz’s direction. “Or gods know what could’ve happened to you.”

“Whatever,” Taako grumbled, sinking down in his seat and looking out the window. There was a tense silence that Kravitz felt had to do with something other than Taako’s lackluster decisions tonight.

After a while, Magnus sighed. “You know Lup still loves you, right? Just because she’s serious about this boyfriend doesn’t change that. She’s your sister.”

“Duh,” Taako sneered. “Doesn’t mean I have to like him.”

“Look, you guys have been inseparable since birth, I get that,” Magnus continued, unfazed by Taako’s rudeness. “But you had to know that you’d grow apart eventually. She’ll find someone - maybe this guy, maybe not - and you will, too. Probably.”

Taako continued staring out the window, unresponsive.

Kravitz didn’t notice when Magnus glanced at him in the rearview mirror with a glimmer of mischief in his eye. “What about that guy in your Conjuration lecture? The one you said is super hot?”

Taako’s ears perked up and he stiffened, side-eyeing Magnus. “I dunno what you’re talking about.”

“You know, the guy who sits across the aisle from you? The one you said always dresses super nicely and has cheekbones that could cut glass?”

Taako was silent, but Kravitz could see a blush start to form on his cheeks. Kravitz shifted uncomfortably in his seat, feeling like he knew where this might be going.

Magnus continued. “Yeah, you said you wanted to wind your hands in his hair and push him up against a wall-”

“Magnus.”

“-and let him suck marks into your neck that’d be impossible to hide-”

“Magnus.”

“-and give him what I think you called the ‘blowjob of the century’ and then-”

“MAGNUS!”

“What was his name? Kravitz?”

Taako groaned, his face beet red as he put his head in his hands and refused to look over at Kravitz, who wished he could disappear into his seat.

“Magnus, I’m gonna kill you,” Taako’s voice was muffled by his hands.

“Why?” Magnus asked, poorly feigning innocence. He glanced at Kravitz in the rearview mirror. “What did you say your name was, again?” He asked cheekily.

“I didn’t,” Kravitz muttered, refusing to meet his gaze as his face burned. He knew that Magnus got his name from the app.

“We’re here!” Magnus chirped, pulling into an apartment complex that Kravitz realized was right next to the one he lived in. He punched in the gate code and expertly drove around and stopped in front of what Kravitz assumed was Taako’s building. He turned around in his seat. “You live in the complex next door, right?”

“Yeah, I can- I can walk from here,” Kravitz said, rushing to unbuckle himself and get out. He didn’t really want to spend any amount of time alone with Magnus right now.

He walked around the car and opened the door for Taako, who practically fell out and had to be caught by Kravitz. Taako quickly pulled away, not meeting Kravitz’s eye or thanking him.

“Don’t forget to tip!” Magnus shouted out the open window before driving away.

The two stood in an awkward silence for a few moments.

Taako turned to him. “That guy’s a liar and not my friend.”

“So then you didn’t say any of those things?” Kravitz asked with a humorous glance.

“I-” Taako’s face turned red again. “I might’ve…I might’ve said something…similar.”

Kravitz chuckled and took Taako’s hand, prompting him to finally look up at him.

“Well, I would not be opposed to…going on a date with you,” Kravitz said. “And seeing where the night takes us. Can I see your phone?”

Taako wordlessly pulled his phone out of his back pocket and unlocked it before handing it to Kravitz.

He put in his number and handed it back. “I hope you’ll text me sometime. When you’re sober, that is,” He smiled. He hesitated for a moment before pulling Taako a bit closer and leaning down to kiss his forehead. “I’ll be wanting that jacket back,” He murmured, then pulled away and turned to start walking home, waving over his shoulder.

Taako stood still in shock, watching Kravitz walk away. His hand automatically rose to where Kravitz had kissed his forehead and he felt himself blush like some sort of middle schooler.

Kravitz turned and called out over his shoulder. “Make sure to drink lots of water! You don’t want a hangover!”

“Shut up!” He shouted back, but couldn’t fight off the smile that crept across his face. He stood there, swaying a bit but determined to watch Kravitz until he couldn’t see him anymore. The wind picked up and he pulled Kravitz’s jacket tighter around himself before he turned around to head inside.

It was definitely a better night than either of them had anticipated.

#taz balance #the adventure zone #taakitz #taako #taz kravitz #magnus burnsides #college au #laurelscribbles

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 7 years ago

Photo

==>

TG: kay then TG: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. W-H-to-tha-izzat d-ya wiznant me 2 say TG: fo` you ta autobelieve 'n

GG: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. Hmm. GG, betta check yo self: Everyth'n, I guess. I'd like ta git completely up ta spee', if possible.

TG: yeah TG: but TG fo all my homies in the pen: im pretty sure i alreadizzle said spendin' TG: want me ta jizzust TG: sayit all again.....

GG: Some reiteration certainly couldn't hurt. GG: But dis time I won't wizzay so H-to-tha-izzard ta sizzay tha fantastical from tha plausible.

TG: so like TG: stuffs i sizzay about mah mizzle or

GG: Sizzay.

TG: ok well fors tarta TG with the S-N-double-O-P: sizzy really be tha notable author u kizzy

GG: Oh, I kniznow that! GG: That was alwizzles sum-m sum-m I hiznad no triznouble doggy stylin', consider'n the public documentation even reclusive celebrizzles receive. GG: N frankly, tha familizzle resizzle be obvious.

TG: yup

GG: Anyway, it wizzle be disingenuoizzles if I found your relation far fetched, since wizzy all apparently related ta noteworthy thugz. It's jiznust one of thizzle funny th'n.

TG: true dat TG: then TG: wizzy elze can i rap 'bout TG: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. liznike playa occolt majyyks n stuff TG: coz i dizzy know a whole lot 'bout tha miznayjjykks TG: besides th fizzle thizzay thizzle all real as shizzle ciznan git

GG: Mizzy we should start at tha very beginn'n.

TG: Holla! ok TG: but the begninn'n wizzy a hecka lizzong time a go

GG: D-ya rememba around when we first started talking?

TG ya feelin' me? y

GG: N yizzay claimed you were thizne one mak'n mah pumpkins disappizzle?

TG: hahAHA TG: *aha TG bitch ass nigga: y :3

GG: You lata proceeded ta trizzy ta prizzay ta me thizzle what yizzay were sizzle was tizzy. Its just anotha homocide. GG: But none of yo' attizzles bitch wiznould eva bear any fruit, pardon tha pun.

TG: k but it aint pardoned coz a pumpkin aint evizzle a frizzuit TG: its a big orange porch th'n fo` holloween numbnuts

GG: Yes, I kizzy what pumpkins be fo' real. It was a joke, sizzle. GG: What I'm try'n ta say be, 'n think'n biznack ta thoze D-to-tha-izzays, when you couldn't verizzle yo' C-L-to-tha-izzaims, it made me think tha whole th'n wizzay a big ruze with my forty-fo' mag. GG: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. N I thizzink dis unfortunizzle bizzle a pattern of mistrust. It was always hard ta rizzule out tha possibility T-H-to-tha-izzat yizzay could be jok'n 'bout otha messin' as well.

TG: yizzle TG: but its not mah fault i mean appeafrification tiznech be notoriously unreliable TG: rememba TG: i xplained dis TG: Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. i cizzy just always appearify stuff frizzle you any time i want TG: Dogg House Records in the motha fuckin house. i can only takes sizzy im "allowed" 2 which be pmuch random TG: lizzle stizzle tizzy by takin id be mess'n up tha tizzime liznine cauze that sizzy be suppoze' ta be there n siznerve S-to-tha-izzome funciton it hasnt servizzle yet TG, know what im sayin? so most of tha time if i try all i git be slime on mah end TG: bizzut pumpizzles 4 sizzle reason be a shawty easia ta takes i dunno whizzy TG: liznike thizney be specifically n arbitrorily unhinge' friznom spacetime TG: be spooooko TG: *ky

GG: I couldn't begizzle ta explizzle tha science behind such a technology brotha. Hollaz to the East Side. GG: Its just anotha homocide. Bizzle I gizzay tha impizzle th'n be, regardless of how or why it works, dis be a story you continue ta stand by? GG: That be, you be stizzle tak'n credit fo` tha mysterious disappearance of all those pumpkins I grizzle years ago?

TG: f yeah TG: Nigga get shut up or get wet up. i so gizzle your gaurds jane

GG: ... GG: Did you gank them whizzay mah gizzourd was D-to-tha-izzown?

TG: * yes TG: * yiznes i diznid exectly that TG: snatched ur patch sucka!!!!!! TG: hehe

GG with the S-N-double-O-P: Vizzle W-to-tha-izzell straight from long beach nigga! GG with my forty-fo' mag: Then I belizzle thizzay be whizzay happenizzle upside yo head. GG: That all I am try'n ta say hiznere.

TG: so TG: ok TG straight from long beach nigga: u believe that TG so i can get mah pimp on: now whizzat??

GG in all flavas: Now... nuttin, really in all flavas. GG: You may continue to tizzy me anyth'n you would like wit tha confidizzle that I won't doubt you. GG: So by all means, go aheezee!

TG: ok gotit TG fo' real: so jane TG now motherfuckers lemme here ya say hoe: whas tizzy feel like 2 git stabbed by a bizzle homey

GG: Oh, come on!

TG: hizzy

GG: That be a question!

TG: yizzy so

GG: It nizzy anizzle sort of revizzle, or statement fo` me ta takes at face value wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. GG: Dadbizzle it wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. Dis isn't thizzle difficult fo my bling bling! GG: And fo` tha record, it not bootylicious. Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos.

TG: It dont stop till the wheels fall off. W-H-to-tha-izzats not

GG: GETT'N STABBED BY A BAD HOMEY. IT ISN'T ALL THIZNAT PEACHY.

TG with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back yeah i bizzay TG with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: mizzay suuuuckizzle TG: or TG: drizzeam sucked idk

GG: So, yoe not 'n tha mood ta tizzy me bustin'?

TG: no i be TG with my forty-fo' mag: im psyched 'bout u wizzle ta believe me n all TG and yo momma: but part of me stizzle feels like i should pizzy it TG: Chill as I take you on a trip. like i try ta once TG: it wizzle just frustratin i mean im a sciestist i should be able 2 prizzle mah S-H-to-tha-izzit TG in tha mutha fuckin club: L-to-tha-izzike TG upside yo head: subject mah cliznaims ta tha fuckin madrigogs

GG: Um... GG: Madrigogs? Snoop dogg is in this bitch.

TG: *buggin' rigors TG: u know what i mean???

GG: Yizzy, I understizzle.

TG: i mizzay trust between niggaz be sweet n everyth'n bizzle i diznont know if i wizzay be tha repipient of like a butt load of pity belizzles

GG fo all my homies in the pen: It not 'bout pity! GG puttin tha smack down: It more like a gestizzle I'm try'n ta make. GG: Snoop heffner mixed with a little bit of doggy flint. Or maybe that niznot quite rizzle. GG: It has more ta do wit sett'n th'n right fo` myself than mak'n it up ta yizzy. GG from tha streets of tha L-B-C: Does that make senze, chill yo?

TG: .............

GG hittin that booty: Shoot, I'm do'n such a terrible job explain'n dis! :(

TG: (patiently sips bizzev rizzy)

GG: Tha bottom liznine be, I WANT ta believe tha th'n yizzay sizzle now. GG with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin: That all yizzle nee' ta know!

TG: ok thats gizzle TG: Real niggas recognize the realness. i wizzay thizzay 2 buuuuuuizzle TG: i stizzle wizzle prove it irregardlizzle!!!!!!!`

GG: *Shudda uncontrollably at "word" usage.*

TG: whoops sry TG: Anotha dogg house production. * stizzay WANT TA P-R-to-tha-izzove it irregaurdlesally TG: Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. ^ all fixed tght as fuck TG: so u dizzle fo` one last tizzy

GG: Sure fo yo bitch ass!

TG: k lets git busay TG: whiznat you want 2c me disappearify

> Jizzle: Listen to how a motherfucker flow shit. Look arizzle aww nah.

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg4430

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zanybohbot · 4 years ago

Text

The Outsiders: A Stupid Night Out In London

A STUPID NIGHT OUT IN LONDON - The Outsiders (1st Episode)

Published: 10-10-19 - Updated: 10-15-19

Warning: Rated R for Strong Language/Sexual References

Enjoy!

Part 1: The Plan

(Squit N/R: In case you're interested, at the walking with da bros' day in L.A. began 'with prayers, followed by hymns and then an inspirational reading. Here it began with Pinky and Pesto showing us a pornographic video.)

Pinky: Watch this.

Wakko: This is tame.

Brain: What the hell? Pinky, they're not even naked. Oh, wait a minute, is she gonna?

(they all gag at the video)

Brain: Oh, my God, that can't be real!

Squit: That's got to be chocolate.

Pinky: They should've got a bigger cup.

Pesto: Yeah.

Squit: REALLY! How tame is that, dafuq?! (gasp) Oh, Christ, I'm gonna heave.

Wakko: Jesus wept! Don't lick it! She's gonna vomit.

Squit: I'm gonna vomit.

Pesto: This is the best scene, look.

(they gag again, loudly)

Wakko: Ohhh! Oh Is it possible to un-see things? I don't like girls anymore.

Squit: So you get a new laptop and the first thing you did was find that?

Pinky: No, it wasn't the first thing.

Squit: This was the first thing.

(WOMAN MOANS) Oh, y'all such saddos.

Wakko: I AM NOT A SADDO...I'm a man!

Squit: That's it, we can't carry on like this!

Pesto: Carry on like what?

Squit: We can't spend another day treading water, being the same old sad cases.

Pesto: (confused) Whaddaya mean by dat?

Squit: Nothing, we can't be the same old sad cases.

Pesto: (furiously) Are you calling me crackers? Are you saying that I am a large sodium covered square here to amuse you? IS THAT WHAT YA SAYIN'?!

Squit: NO! You idiot, you not a sad case!

Pesto: HA! That's what I thought. I'm not a sad case.

Pinky: Yo dad's gay.

Pesto: Fuck off.

Squit: Look, the point we've got to do something else.

Pesto: What do you mean?

Pinky: Carpe diem that puh?

Wakko: Piss off my siblings?

Brain: Seize the world, do something unexpected?

Squit: No. Reinvent ourselves, show the girls and everyone else who we really are. Like clubbing in London.

Brain: No, thanks. I'm not taking my car 'coz the insurance company will kill me.

Squit: Awww, what?

Wakko: Well, I could drive us. I got a car last weekend.

Squit: You've got a car?! Have you passed your test already?

Wakko: Yeah, I have.

Pesto: Now we don't have to drive around to the airport in Brain's ol' bitch mobile.

Brain: Good 'coz I'm not going.

Squit: Look, you don't have to drive, will you come, please?

Brain: It's not the driving. It's more that we won't get in anywhere, won't get served and might get robbed, stabbed or killed.

Pinky: Bullshit! I go up to London all the time.

Brain: When do you ever go to London?

Pinky: I went 5 times, I fucked some girl up there.

Squit: Did you? Where was that?

Pinky: It was in the Tower of London.

Squit: (sarcastically) The Tower of London? What did you do after you'd fucked her, cut her head off? Showed her the crown jewels?

Pinky: Maybe because she'd already seen the crown jewels, smartass!

Squit: Whatever. (looks at Brain) Brain, please come along.

Brain: But it'll be expensive.

Squit: C'mon, now you're just making excuses.

Pinky: Plus, don't some of those clubs charge? I've already told you, I know the homie who runs all the doors. He'll slip us in.

Brain: And when that turns out to be bullshit, then what?

(Billie walks to Brain.)

Billie: Hi, B!

Brain: Bills!

Billie: How's your stomach?

Brain: Oh good.

Billie: I have some great news to tell you. We're going to London on Saturday, clubbing. Do you want to come?

Brain: Sounds fun, we'd love to go. Which club are you going to?

Billie: Erm Spearmint Rhino.

Brain: Wait, Isn't that a strip club?

Billie: Yeah, sorry, Buster Bunny made a mistake. We're going to one of the big ones, one of the big cool ones right in the middle of London.

Brain: Cool which one?

Billie: Erm the Land of The Sound. And that's exactly where we're going.

Brain, Pinky, Pesto, Squit and Wakko: NICE!

Wakko: I'm driving if you want a lift.

Billie: Nah, we'll probably head up early. A lift back would be great, though.

Wakko: No problemo.

Pinky: So do you go clubbing a lot?

Billie: Me?

Pinky: Uhhh...yeah, you.

Billie: Erm Yeah, yeah, course. Anyways, dancing on the podium probably or up by the speakers, where it's, if anything, too loud!

Brain, Pinky, Pesto, Squit and Wakko: NICE! OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!

Brain: See you there.

Billie: See ya.

Brain: Great.

Billie: See you later, then.

(she leaves)

Pinky: What did I tell you? London and pussy go hand in hand.

Brain: Fuck yeah, I'm going on a date with Billie!

Squit: It's not really a date ya know.

Brain: I think it is.

Pinky: Shall we go and get ready for tomorrow night?

Brain: Yep, good idea.

Part 2: Trip Gone Wrong

(All 4 were walking to the Warner's siblings' house to pick up Wakko.)

(Squit N/R: I had no idea how we'd actually get into a club, 'but I wasn't taking any chances and wore my smartest shoes, 'something Brain didn't do.)

Squit: Uhhh. Why are you wearing sneakers, B?

Brain: Because they look good. Everyone wears sneakers you know.

Squit: I specifically said no sneakers, not if we want to get into clubs. Pinky hasn't got sneakers on, Pesto hasn't got sneakers on, I haven't got sneakers on.

Pinky: Yeah. Ewww...you've got fucking flippers on! What size are they anyway?

Brain: Well duh, Pinky. I am size 8, my size.

Pinky: Yeah, Ronald McDonald called - he wants his shoes back. (Laughs)

Brain: Just shut up, Pinky.

Squit: Well there's nothing wrong with these, they're 1970s French. (looks at his own 1979 Dior's he's wearing)

Pesto: Hey! Where are my-a flippers? At least you'll be all dank if yo stupid-ass fall in the mafia.

Squit: Yeah, very funny. Look, all I'm saying is would it have killed you to wear "normal" shoes just to be on the safe side?

(They saw Wakko's 1975 Ferrari)

Pesto: Whoa, check out Wak's car!

Pinky: Yeah! It's shit-hot!

Squit: I'd say half-right. (The car looks half-damaged and brown) Yep, it's shit.

(Pinky knocks their door and Dot opens it as she is smoking weed and wears emo-pink hair.)

Brain: Hi, Dot! I was…

Dot: Don't ask. He's already upstairs getting ready.

Pesto: So how's things with you?

Pinky: Yeah! I feel like I haven't seen you in ages.

Dot: Wak! Those assholes wanna know if you're coming out to play or not.

Wakko: (upstairs) Coming!

Pinky: (carefully stares at Dot's boobs) So D, would ya came to tha club wit us?

Dot: Yeah, will you stop staring at my tits, please?! (leaves)

Pinky: OK, I'm thinking it's a big N.O.

Pesto: She must be on the blob.

Wakko: (comes downstairs to go outside) All right? What do you think of the car, then? It's like a tractor beam for fanny.

Brain: (nervous) I love it! Good job, buddy!

Wakko: It's got a Piper exhaust and a well smart body-kit. My sister's boyfriend is helping me do it up, he's a mechanic.

Pinky: Well it will be nice for Pesto's dad to have a man about the house, Wak.

Pesto & Wakko: What does that mean?

Pinky: It means, "Does Pesto's dad suck dick?"

Pesto: No! But your sister does.

Wakko: No! Well, I mean, she might do. Oh who am I kidding anymore, she definitely does.

Brain: Oh nice Porsche Engineering sticker by the way. (looks at Wakko's Porsche sticker on his car)

Wakko: I know. I put that on myself, it's gotta be worth at least a hand-job.

Squit: How fast does it go?

Wakko: Who knows? I ain't got it going yet.

Squit: This'll be the first time you've driven it?

Wakko: Nah, it don't work, it ain't got an engine in it yet. Dave's still trying to find me one.

Pinky: But, motherfucka, I thought you were driving us up to the airport.

Wakko: Yeah, so did I.

Brain: (getting angry) Oh, god. Why...why did you...why haven't you told us that before.

Wakko: Well, I'm sorry. I thought you knew.

Brain: So how do you plan to drive us up there without a car?!

Wakko: I thought I was going to drive your car.

Brain: But you're not insured to drive my car, Wakko!

Wakko: (pondered) Ohhh. Whoops.

Brain: (sarcastically) WHOOPS! That's it, a fucking "whoops"?! Hey, Larry. Did you hear that guy without an engine saying "WHOOPS"!?

Wakko: God, I said I was sorry.

Squit: Oh, well, since Wakko had one job but clearly FAILED, I guess there's only one last solution. (They look at Brain about his car)

Brain: What? (They still look at Brain until Brain gasps realising what's gonna happen next) Oh no! Nope! Sorry, not gonna happen.

Squit: But, you have to.

Brain: No! I already said no, and the insurance company will get pissed if they find out I've driven that car to London.

Pesto: Oh, don't beat yourself up. They won't find out.

Pinky: And even if they do, you'll have far too many fingers up Billie to care.

Squit: Please, Brain?

(Brain finally realized he knew what he had to do.)

Brain: Oh, Christ, thanks a lot, Wakko!

Wakko: You need to be clearer about things, I reckon.

Brain: (furious) OK, is this clear enough? (Brain hits Wakko with a pencil) You're a fucking idiot!

(They walk to Brain's car)

Pinky: Calm down! I'll get some beers for the trip.

Brain: I can't drink and drive!

Pinky: Course you can, it's just a saying!

(Squit N/R: So Pinky, Wakko and Pesto already brought lagers from the gas station and we were gone. But I feel like the episode is gonna take to long while we're in the plane sooo...let's just cut to the chase in England, shall we? The plan was simple - get to London, get into a club and pull Billie and Amber. I said it was simple, not realistic. Meanwhile, we can enjoy the enlightening conversation in the car.)

Pinky: OK, newsflash, who would you rather fuck, Squit's mom…?

Squit: (facepalms) Great.

Pinky: ...Wakko's sister…?

Wakko: ASS!

Pinky: ...or Pesto's homo dad?

Pesto: FUCK OFF! (silence) Maybe...Squit's ma.

Squit: Don't join in, Pesto!

Pinky: Well, I dunno about dat. Wakko's sister would have the tighter snatch, I guess.

Wakko: Leave her out of this!

Brain: But Squit's mom has got huge tits.

Wakko: They are amazing.

Squit: (sarcastically) Thanks, Wak.

Brain: Although Wakko's sister looks like she'd be better at sucking dick with Pesto's dad.

Pinky: Like father like daughter. I could see her going at it like a dog eating hot fries.

Wakko & Pesto: Shut up, Pinky!

Pinky: I'd like to put my cock in them both.

Squit: That's a touching sentiment.

Pinky: I'd touch yo mama's sentiment.

Squit: That doesn't mean anything.

Pinky: It means I'd touch her puh - with my diugh.

Squit: (sarcastically) Nice one!

Wakko: I've thought about it, and I'd definitely rather fuck Squit's mom.

Brain: Are you sure, Wak? What about your sister's tight snatch?

Wakko: No, totally sure.

Pinky: Nice, slow down a minute, B! (Pinky opens the window to shout "Bus Wankers!" to all the British people waiting for a bus.)

Brain: (laughing hysterically) Bus wankers! Where did that come from? Bus wankers!

Pinky: I dunno, it just felt right! Remember, this is England. You could see their little faces drop as they thought, "We must be the bus wankers."

Pesto: Pull over, B. I need a piss.

Brain: I can't pull over, there's a bus lane.

Pesto: Please, I'm desperate, c'mon.

Brain: You'll just have to hold it, Pesto, we're late enough.

(Pesto found an empty can so he can pee in here as he was laughing like a villain.)

Squit: What are you doing?

Pesto: Ayy, coo off.

Brain: Are you pissing in my car?

Pesto: Nah.

Brain: Then, what's that noise?

Pesto: I'm pissing in a can.

Brain: What the fuck?! You'll get piss on the floor!

Pesto: Ayy, coo off. It won't overflow. I've got mah chap's-eye right in there, so I can't miss. No problemo.

Pinky: It stinks, Pesto!

Pesto: (gasp) Uh-oh, it don't wanna stop.

Pinky: WHAT?!

Brain: What do you mean, "it"?!

Squit: Just stop pissing yourself, P!

Pesto: Quick, pass me another can!

Wakko: That's not happening.

Pesto: It's filled up to the top, I've got to get it out and...OH SHIT! (gasp) Oh, my helmet! (gasp) I've cut it on the can! (gasp) Oh, I think it's bleeding!

Brain: Fuck bleeding! Is it still pissing?

Pesto: Oh, it stings!

Squit: Does anybody wanna swap seats with me?

Pesto: I will!

Squit: Not you, Pesto!

Brain: Get rid of it, Pesto!

(Pesto threw it out the window but somehow got 25% piss on Pinky.)

Pinky: Ah, Pesto!

(Squit N/R: So high on the smell of Pesto's urine, 'we headed for the bright lights of London.)

Part 3: Bus Wankers Gone Wrong

(Squit N/R: Look out, ladies, phase one was complete. We had finally made it to London. And we even managed to see all the sights 'Because Brain got us totally fucking lost.)

Brain: It must be somewhere round here.

Pinky: Well, duh. How should we know? I knew we'd get lost.

Brain: Thanks a lot, you idiots!

Wakko: What did I do?

Squit: Lemme see. Wakko has a car without an engine and Pesto pissing IN THE CAR!

Pesto: Ayy, coo off! Is it our fault you're a shit driver?

Brain: Look, I don't want Billie to be pissed off if I'm late, OK.

Wakko: Ha. You need to grow some balls, I reckon.

Pinky: Why not pull over and ask someone where the club full of clunge is?

Pesto: Wait. (Gets out his laptop from his suitcase) I've got Google Maps on my laptop. Should be able to find it no problemo!

Brain: Pesto, will you just shut...

Pinky: Aye aye!

Brain: No, Pinky! DON'T!

Pinky: (Looking at the people waiting for a bus) Bus wankers! (HE LAUGHS)

(Brain pulled over because of the traffic.)

Pinky: Why are we stopping?

Brain: I tried to say! Oh, Christ, Pinky!

Pinky: Well it's not my fault if I...oh shit! (He saw an angry person from the bus coming.) Oh, shit! Oh fuck, they're coming! Shit! Drive!

Brain: Where?! Where am I actually gonna drive to?!

Squit: Anywhere!

Wakko: Oh, shit!

(Brain drives to the pavement.)

Squit: No, Brain, anywhere but the pavement! ANYWHERE BUT THE PAVE…!

(The car is on the pavement)

Squit: ...ment. I specifically said anywhere BUT the pavement.

(A black man comes to Brain)

Brain: Greetings, British people, I… (Brain is getting choked by a man) Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, I...

Man: Who's a wanker? I'm a wanker, am I? Yeah?

Brain: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Man: Yeah? Yeah?

Squit: He said he was sorry.

Brain: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry

Man: I'm a wanker, yeah?

Squit: He's sorry. He's really sorry.

Brain: I'm sorry. (The man let's go of Brain's neck.) Sorry.

Man: (HE LAUGHS AND LEAVES) I'd rather be a bus wanker than drive that piece of yellow shit with those fucking Americans!

(silence)

Pinky: Holy fuck, words cannot describe how you two pussied out.

Brain: (angrily) Oh, what now?!

Pinky: Don't "what now" me! (mimics Brain) Ooh, sorry, sorry! Ooh, I'm sorry, don't hurt me, sorry.

Brain: 'Coz you got me fucking throttled!

Pinky: Ooh, sorry!

Brain: Oh, fuck off!

Wakko: (mimics Brain) Sorry I'm on the pavement.

Pesto: (mimics Brain) Sorry, sorry, sorry for my little shit-ass car.

Pinky: I'm sorry I'm alive and a bender!

Brain: JUST FUCK OFF!

(Brain rotates his car back to the road continued driving)

Wakko: Sorry, B!

(They all laugh, except for Brain and Squit)

Wakko: Sorry I'm such a tool!

Pesto: Oh, sorry, I pissed in the car!

Pinky: Ooh, sorry I pissed British people off!

(Squit N/R: Don't get me wrong, Brain's a good friend, but it's fair to say he drives like a retard. But eventually, in Chinatown, just a few hundred yards from the club, we found the perfect parking space. Well, almost perfect.)

Brain: Guy, I don't think I can park here.

Squit: We've been driving round for an hour looking for a space. This one's perfect, let's just get going!

Brain: But it says we'll get clamped.

Pinky: Nah, it's a weekend, bruh? Different rules.

Squit: I'm sure he's right, B, and no-one clamps any more.

Pesto: Please can we get going? I really need to check my D. I think I've got a big problemo.

Brain: (annoyed) Can you stop saying "problemo"? It's not cool or funny, it's just embarrassing.

Pinky: Don't worry, P, he'll say sorry in a minute.

Wakko: Ha.

Brain: Maybe I should move it?

Squit: Brain, listen to me. Billie has agreed to go clubbing with you, that's a big step forward, but in the hour it'll take to find another parking space she could have gone off the idea.

Pinky: She could be jerking off the DJ by now.

Squit: I doubt that's happening, but the point is valid. This is a great parking spot, let's just get a move on.

Wakko: We are wasting valuable boning time.

Brain: Fine. Fine, c'mon. (He was about to lock the car.)

Pesto: Don't bother locking it, B.

Brain: (sarcastically) Yeah, thanks, Pesto.

Pinky: If you're lucky, someone might steal it!

Brain: Yeah, good one.

(Squit N/R: So despite the odd throttling and cut penis, we made it to the club - the girls even seemed pleased to see us!)

Brain: Hey, Bills!

Billie: Oh, hi Brain. I wondered where you were.

Brain: Did you?

Billie: You're actually here.

Brain: Yes. You weren't lying about coming, huh?

Billie: No. Why would I be lying?

Brain: Don't know. Don't know why I said that. Great, well we'll see you in there?

Pinky: Don't be a pussy, just slip in!

(All 5 slips through the line.)

Billie: Oh, are you joining us?

Brain: Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

Plucky: (at the back) Are you fucking pushing in?

Max: (at the back) Excuse me, those assholes pushed in!

Buster: So, great you're near the front.

Squit: Yeah, well, been here long enough.

Babs: Suppose you have.

Squit: I just really wanna get inside and dance now.

Buster: Us too.

Babs: There's something very animalistic about our need to dance.

(Plucky and Max are throwing cans at them and laughing.)

Babs: Dude, their throwing stuff at you.

Squit: Don't think so. They're frustrated 'coz they want to get inside too. They're saying, "Let us in, we've got great dancing ants in our pants!"

Plucky: (at the back) Get to the back of the line, you fuckboi!

Amber (behind Squit): Do you mind if we stand with our back to you? I don't want them to think you're with us.

Squit: No probs.

(Squit N/R: Amber had the most beautiful back of a head I'd ever seen. Now all we had to do was get into the club. Until…)

Security Guard: No trainers.

Brain: What?!

Security Guard: No trainers.

Brain: But they're new.

Security Guard: No trainers.

Billie: I'll see you in there in a minute.

Brain: Yep, good idea.

(Billie goes into the club while the other are still outside.)

Wakko: Yep, well, we're fucked.

Brain: I take it you don't know that bouncer, then, Pinky?

Pinky: What's this gotta do with me? I'm not tha one wearing sneakers!

Squit: (angrily) You fuckin' idiot! I am totally in there, like...totally. Would it have killed ya to wear shoes?

Wakko: We could probably make another pair out of yours and have enough leather left to cover a sofa.

Brain: (looks at the homeless guy wearing black shoes) Doesn't matter anyway, I've got a better idea. I'm gonna borrow some shoes.

Squit: What?

(they all look at the homeless guy)

Pinky: Ewww...Hammerhead shark!

Pesto: Oh, no!

Squit: Look, I'm gonna level with you - I am scared. London scares me. The bouncer scares me and that man REALLY scares me. Let's just put this one down as another character forming experience and go back home.

Brain: Come on, Squit! It's for Billie! She'll love it, it's romantic.

Squit: Well, It's not Romeo and Juliet. These are gross shoes we're talking about! (Brain runs to the homeless guy.) NO! DON'T!

Brain: Scuse me, dude? Dude? Scuse me? Can I borrow your shoes?

Homeless Guy: Eh?

Brain: I wanna borrow your shoes, I'm trying to impress a girl.

(Squit facepalms)

Homeless Guy: Giz a blow job.

Brain: What?

Homeless Guy: I'll give you a blow job.

Brain: No. God, no, no blow jobs. I just want your shoes.

Homeless Guy: All right, £200 quid!

Brain: Great.

Homeless Guy: And your shoes.

Brain: Oh, of course.

(Squit N/A: Good old Brain. I can always rely on him to add a touch of class to proceedings. In many ways, though, it proved how much he valued Billie. Certainly more than he valued his dignity.)

Brain: (he puts on the shoes) Uhhh...they're a bit soggy.

Homeless Guy: Aye, that'll be my piss.

Brain: OK. Thanks.

(He walks with Squit and the others to the club.)

Squit: I can't believe you…!

Brain: Don't!

(Squit N/R: I'm not saying it was the most fucked up club in England, but you have to question, a door policy which says no to sneakers, but a big thumbs up to piss-soaked tramp shoes.)

Part 4: In A Party

(Squit N/R: But we were in! We had got in! Yes! In the club! An actual club! Yes! I've died and gone to "clunge" heaven.)

Squit: Oh, nice! Well, this is what we wanted.

Wakko: This is it, the first day of the rest of our lives.

Pesto: It's one small step for a man, one giant leap for ya flippers.

Brain: Really?

Pinky: Fuck yeah, 'coz you won't be laughing when we pull Billie and Amber.

Brain: No I won't, 'coz it ain't gonna happen.

Pinky: You can spend your evening talking to little bitches, me and Wakko and Pesto are gonna find ourselves some proper puh with experienced snatches. (as Pinky, Wakko and Pesto leaves)

Brain & Squit: Good luck with that.

Squit: (shouting) Just so you know, I think the Tower of London is closed now.

Pinky: (from the distance) Whatever.

Brain: (as he saw Billie walking towards him) There she is. How do I look?

Squit: You look good.

Brain: From the ankles up, obviously.

Squit: Obviously.

Brain: Where's Amber?

Squit: Don't worry, she's keen, I'm sure she'll find me. Away you go, dude.

(Squit leaves.)

Brain: Wish me luck.

(Brain saw Billie)

Brain: Billie.

Billie: Brain, you got in! I thought you were turned away.

Brain: Oh, the bouncers were being complete dicks and there was a thing with my shoes. They're out of ice already. Can you believe that?

(Roderick came along.)

Billie: Oh, Brain, this is Roderick. He's a BFF of Amber's.

Brain: Oh.

Roderick: Y'Okay?

Brain: Yeah, you?

Roderick: Course, man. Saw ya playing the character in Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain. You were sick.

Billie: Not to mention, Brain is an old friend of the family, he first met me since we were 13. Not just that, though.

Roderick: Can you smell piss?

Billie: Um Urgh, yes.

(Brain looked worried because of the shoes.)

Roderick: That's totally rank.

Brain: Must be the toilets.

Billie: We should move.

Brain: Yeah, good idea.

(They all left.)

(Squit N/R: Meanwhile, Pinky, Pesto and Wakko headed downstairs to discuss the nuances of sexual politics.)

Pinky: She'd definitely get it!

Wakko: Most definitely.

Pesto: What about her? I think she looked over.

(Points to a girl in the middle.)

Pinky: What, her? Nice body, frightening face. You'd have to do her from behind.

Wakko: What about her? Still big, but then fat girls are more grateful.

(points to a girl in the right.)

Pinky: Wow, check out the jubblies on that! Oh, she'd get it.

Wakko: Until it fell off.

Pesto: Oh, please don't.

Pinky: Please do.

Pesto: (gasp) Oh, no - she's given me a boner, my cut's worse than ever. I've gotta go and fix it. (runs to the bathroom.)

Pinky: Suit yourself, but we might not be here when ya get back. That one's giving us tha old, "I'm gonna milk yo ballsack dry" look.

(Squit N/R: And in the bathroom, Pesto had a very big "problemo" with his dick.)

Pesto: (still rubbing his penis with water as he groans) Please, make it stop.

(Squit N/R: I had my own difficulties in the cock department. Amber was sitting next to one.)

(Squit saw Amber with Max.)

Squit: Amber! There you are, found ya! Ready to put on your dancing shoes?

Amber: I know I am!

Squit: That's good!

(Squit meets Max.)

Squit: Hi, I'm Squit.

Max: Max.

Squit: So, do you come here often, Max?

Max: I bet you say that to all the girls!

Squit: Ya got some chutzpah, I'll give ya that. Anyway, nice to meet ya, Max, but we're going.

Max: What?! I'm good here, thanks.

Squit: Come on. It's getting a bit crowded round here, eh, Max?

Max: Sorry, dude. No chance.

Squit: Look, come on, dude. You've had a good run. Believe me, if I was in ya shoes and I saw a gorgeous girl sitting on her own, I'd have made the move by now, but I'm here now, so...

Max: So what?

Squit: So do the honorable thing and step aside, because I was in with her first.

Amber: No, you weren't.

Max: Jesus, is he for real? He talks like he's from a black and white film.

Squit: Yes, I was. I stood with you in the line.

Amber: Yeah, behind me.

Squit: (getting angry) Well, more beside you. And you specifically asked me if I was coming along tonight. I have got witnesses ya know.

Amber: (annoyed) Squit, I think you've got the wrong end of the stick.

Squit: Evidently! So is that it?! So shall I just go away and leave you to it?!

Amber: Yes.

Max: Go away!

Squit: Fine! Fine! That's the last you see of me anyway. (he leaves) Thanks, Max. Thanks a lot, dude.

Max: No probs.

(Squit N/R: I was starting to go off Amber. She wasn't really my type anymore. Elsewhere, my friends were faring no better.)

Roderick: I can still smell it. It's following us.

Billie: Brain, I'm not being rude, but I think that smell might be you.

Brain; Okay, fine. You caught me. These shoes do kick up a bit.

Roderick: Jesus, dafuq is on your feet?

Brain: These aren't my shoes. I had to borrow them to get in.

Billie: I'm sorry but who brings spare shoes to a nightclub?

Brain: No-one. I swapped them with a homeless guy outside the club.

Roderick: What was he, a tramp?

Brain: (confused) I think you're supposed to say homeless now.

Billie: Sorry, you're wearing a tramp's shoes?

Roderick: Bro, that's fuckin' disgusting.

Brain: (looking awkward) Yeah. Maybe.

(Meanwhile in the bathroom, Pesto is still fixing his cut penis as Pinky and Wakko enters the bathroom.)

Pinky: Dafuq's taking ya so long?

Pesto: Oh, bro, it's not good. Get me a band-aid, it's bleeding, look.

Pinky: Motherfucka, put ya dick away! That's disgusting.

Pesto: But that's da problem tho, I can't. It stings when it rubs on my underwear.

Wakko: Well, take your underwear off.

Pesto: Then it'll rub on my jeans.

Pinky: Pesto, no matter what ya old man says, ya can't walk around London with yo dick hanging out.

(3 security guards went into the bathroom to kick Pinky, Wakko and Pesto out for "wanking".)

Pinky: What?!

Pesto: I wasn't doing anything!

Wakko: HELP!

(Meanwhile, Brain and Squit are talking in the club.)

Brain: So she didn't see the romantic intention behind the tramp shoes? Not immediately, but if that prick, Roderick, hadn't been there it would've been different. To be fair, the smell is appalling. What happened with Amber anyways?

Squit: Oh, the usual. It was going quite well, then she realised I'm a massive dickhead and she pulled some other asshole.

Brain: So, we didn't…?

Squit: Nope.

(silence)

Brain: This place is trash.

Squit: Ya right, let's go.

(Brain and Squit were about to leave when they saw Pinky, Wakko and Pesto getting kicked out.)

Pesto: No, wait! I wasn't jerking off.

Squit: (sarcastically) Wow, just my luck.

Pesto: My D's cut. My D is cut!

(Squit N/R: So we were kicked out, out the club. The actual club kicked us out. Exactly 25 minutes after it started, our life as cool London clubbers was over.)

Final Part: YOU OWE ME £200!

(All 5 are walking down the alleyway to Brain's car.)

Squit: So, tell me what happened again?

Pesto: I was looking at the cut on my dick. Pinky and Wakko were helping me out.

Brain: (confused) Sorry, they were helping you out?

Wakko: (embarrassed) Oh boy, here we go.

Pinky: (annoyed) Look, it's not what it sounds. Okay.

Squit: (teasing) 'Coz it sounds like you two were watching Pesto jerking himself off in the bathroom.

Pesto: Ayy, coo off! I wasn't jerking off, I was just rolling it around in my hands.

Squit: Okay, spare us the details.

Brain: Oh, fuck. What if Billie's getting off with that asshole?

Pinky: Don't cry, B. At least you can get your sneakers back.

Brain: What? (He looks back at the homeless guy he met before, as the homeless guy got Brain's sneakers covered in shit.)

Homeless Guy: Fucking beauty. I'll have that, you bastard.

Brain: (annoyed) Oh, wow. How the FUCK did this happen?!

Homeless Guy: What?

Brain: Oh, c'mon, man! You've only had them an hour!

Wakko: Maybe he's been out?

Squit: Technically, he's always out.

Brain: (furious) That's it, I'm done! Let's go! I've had enough! Standing sober in an alleyway stinking of piss and wearing a tramp's shoes was not what I had planned for this evening!

(They leave the alleyway where the club is.)

Squit: Out of interest, did you think it would go better or worse than this?

(Squit N/R: So the night was over and all we wanted to do now was get back in Brain's shitty car and go home, but until...)

Brain: Oh no.

(Brain and the others saw his car got clamped.)

Brain: Oh, fuck. Oh, fuckety fuck fucko! Ooh, shit. Fuck, how much money in British pounds have we got between us?!

Pinky: No, yo stupid-ass chose to park here. (laughs)

Brain: Goddamnit, Pinky! (looks at Squit) Squit?

Squit: Sorry, man. I don't have any pounds left. Getting in cleaned me out. The only thing is to have a Visa to exchange money, but I left mine at home.

Brain: So nobody has a Visa?

Pinky, Wakko and Pesto: Nope.

Brain: (angrily) Great, well we're fucked. We've got no Visas.

Squit: Dude, I really hate saying this but...I think you'll have to call your dad.

Brain: Are you fuckin' insane?! It's one in the morning. He's gonna go fucking ballistic.

Pesto: Unlock it, B. I'm freezing.

Squit: He loves you. Plus, you dad is the only one to have a Visa. I'm sure he'd rather come and get you than see you suffer.

(Brain sighed and went to call his dad from his phone.)

Brain: Dad, it's Brain. Brain! Don't panic, nothing's wrong. Just calm down. No, I'm not dead. Well, if I'm dead, how could I be talking to you?

(The delivery guy comes out of nowhere.)

Delivery Guy: Oi!

Squit: Fuck.

Delivery Guy: You owe me £200.

Brain: I'll call you back. (hangs up)

Squit: Sir, as I am sure you're aware, private clamping is illegal. In addition to that, it is a weekend...

Delivery Guy: I couldn't get my fucking van out.

Brain: Look, I've just called my dad and he'll...

Delivery Guy: I couldn't give a fuck. £200 NOW!

(They all screamed as they get in the car quickly.)

Brain: I don't have it!

Squit: We don't have it!

(The delivery guy shakes and bashes Brain's car)

Delivery Guy: I want £200! Can't you fucking read? No fucking parking! I missed all my fucking deliveries.

(Brain saw Billie walking.)

Brain: Billie! Billie!

Delivery Guy: Give me my fucking money now. I'm gonna fucking kill you unless you give me my fucking money?

Brain: Do you still want that lift?

Billie: Erm, no. I'm fine, thanks.

Brain: Okay, see ya in…2 days.

(Billie leaves.)

Squit: Dude, just call your dad.

Brain: (sighed) Fine.

Delivery Guy: £200 £200! GAHHH! I'm gonna fucking kill you unless you give me my fucking money!

(Squit N/R: So we had successfully reinvented ourselves, but not as the boys who go clubbing. We were now the boys who freaked out girls,... (Dot: Yeah, would you stop staring at my tits, please?!) ...apologised a lot,... (Brain: Sorry, I'm really sorry.) ...wore tramp's shoes,... (Brain: Uhhh...they're a bit soggy. Homeless Guy: Aye, that'll be my piss.) ...and jerked off in public bathrooms. (Pesto: My D is cut!) And we agreed to never go clubbing in London ever again.)

Pesto: I think you've got a big problemo.

Brain: Oh, just shut up, Pesto!

Squit: Wow, you're really obsessed with that word.

Pesto: (confused) Whaddya mean by that?

Squit: What? Nothing, I just said you're really obsessed.

Pesto: (angrily) Oh, so what your sayin' that I'm an egotistical maniac who takes things too seriously to be annoying? That my range amuses you? Is that what your sayin'?!

Squit: No. I just said you're obsessed.

Pesto: I'm obsessed.

Squit: Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

(Then Pesto gets furious.)

Squit: (scared) Oh, for christ's sake.

Pesto: DAT'S IT! (then attacks Squit.) THIS IS ALL YA FAULT, YOU GOT US INTO DIS MESS!

Pinky: Ha, ha. Don't worry, Brain. Maybe y'all should try saying sorry over and over.

Wakko: Oh, sorry for parking like a retard.

(Pinky and Wakko laugh while Brain gets furious.)

Brain: Oh, just FUCK OFF!

THE END!

Hope you guys enjoyed this fan episode, I have been wanting to do this for a long time. If some makes an animation of this, it will be zany as FUCK! Thank ya, see yo lata! Peace.

#animaniacs #theoutsiders #goodfeathers

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rayzorflightrising · 7 years ago

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Tagged by: @ironandwine-fr

Tagging: Noone because all of my homies got tagged already. :’D

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag some people you’d like to know better.

a - age: 27 (soon 28) b - birthplace: Somewhere near the Black Forest, Germany c - current time: 12:47am d - drink you last had: water, just... water e - easiest person to talk to: my soulmate @the-light-beyond (and tbh my mum) f - favorite song: Lots of faves, but lately I hear a lot of soundtracks like Bloodborne or some Norse stuff. g - grossest memory: I have many gross memories so it is hard to choose one but I think the grossest sight I ever experienced was when I saw animals & people getting tortured and abused in the cruelest ways (I was watching the news and different types of documentaries or educational videos and the likes.) h - horror, yes or no: If it’s good? (as long as it’s not real and doesn’t include torture) Monsters bring bonus points. i - in love: Nope. j - jealous of people: Yes but only because I have no money right now I think. XD k - missing: I’m missing the old times when my family and me spent our holidays in many different places/countries 3 times a year. And I miss the times when my friends had more time to hang out at one of our places. l - love at first sight or should i walk by again: Hm. If it’s an animal? Love at first sight. If it’s a person? The latter I suppose. Dunno, never experienced it. m - middle name: You will NEVER know. n - number of siblings: A big sister (she is tall, a smart-arse & gets bitchy real fast but I love her most and we are really close) and a big half-brother aswell as 2 younger step-brothers. o - one wish: A good life with all my loved ones without worries about money or health issues. Tbh I wish that every kind soul can live this kind of happy life. p - last number you called: @the-light-beyond 8D q - question you are always asked: Erm. I dunno? There are no such questions I think. But I get asked about transgender stuff often. r - reasons to smile: My family, my pets, cats (almost all animals, really), my friends, kind acts, good movies & books. Fair weather.

s - song you last sang: I can’t sing but I tried to sing “Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag” while showering.

t - time you woke up: Woke up at 8am and decided to chill in bed for a couple of minutes. Woke up again at 10am. 8D u - underwear color: Why does this matter? Right now? Jeans-blue Boxers with printed fish on it :’D v - vacation destination: Scotland, Ireland, Italy. Germanic/Nordic countries mostly. w - worst habit: Gesticulate like my life depends on it & eating too much sweets. Oh and I tend to do all kinds of important stuff in a “last minute” kind of way. And then I panic a bit. (I run into counters a lot - does this count too?) x - x-rays: Teeth stuff. And when I had an accident where I crashed into a parking car. Oh, and that time I managed to get a ligament rupture. Again. y - your favorite food: Pasta, steaks, salads, pizza, cookies, cake mostly. Oh boi am I healthy. z - zodiac sign: Aries

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anneeiffel · 7 years ago

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About Me!

this is… a tag thingy that im actually gonna do cuz i have…. friends to tag now…. thank u @carbonfiberpersonality for tagging me!!

Age: 20

Birthplace: Boston, Massachusetts!

Current time: 6:33 p.m.

Drink you last had: Coca-Cola to wash down a tylenol! It was flat and gross.

Easiest person to talk to: my best friend and the love of my life @twibles we’ve been friends for years and shes probs the only one i can talk to without like ever getting anxiety lol

Favorite song: Noooo don’t make me choose I can’t do this. Alex by the Punch Brothers? Always by Panic! At the Disco? Everything? Every song ever? Can I pick that one please

Grossest Memory: Probably the time this summer I had to clean a girl’s puke out of the sink this summer. 🙃 For a while after that everytime I smelled vodka I thought of the incident and it was horrible.

Horror yes or horror no: Well I like horror but it has to be veeeery mild because I am actually a big fucking baby.

In love? Don’t think so. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love, but I guess it’s a little scary to admit that, too? I feel like there’s some distinction between loving someone and being in love with them. Like being in love needs another person. That person has to love you too and then you’re in love? Maybe. Not sure, but I’m not in love right now lol.

Jealous of people? 100%. Not constantly but I do get jealous of other people and like… their connections with others. I dunno it’s hard to explain?

Love at first sight? I don’t believe that you can love someone the first time you see them, unless you’ve had contact before. In order to be in love I think you have to know the person. Love is a really deep and profound connection with another person and that’s not something you can just suddenly have with someone you just met. It takes time and cultivation. Now, infatuation? 100% can happen at first sight. But love happens when you get to know the person and their flaws and their good qualities and you love the whole thing.

Middle name? Rachel!

Number of siblings: one (1) beanstalk lookin ginger.

One Wish: I always wish to be happy and I think I’m slowly working my way back.

Person I called last: My dad!

Questions you’re always asked: “What year of high school are you in?” “What are you a senior in high school?” “Have you started looking at colleges yet?” Keep in mind I’m a junior in college. Once: “So, are you graduating from middle school, too?”

Reason to smile: My friends. The cold weather and holiday season that are coming up. Cute animals. Hope. Rum. Love?

Song you last sang: Uhh probably Paradise Valley by Honey and the Sting (another fav song!!)

Time you woke up: 7:00 am. Too early given I went to bed at like 4 am.

Underwear color: White because I’m on my period and I’m an adrenaline junkie.

Vacation destination: Maine or Vermont or a cabin in the woods somewhere. God I love that shit.

X-rays: I got my teeth done and also an x-ray of my foot when i twisted it real bad and also of my stomach when I had to get that surgery.

Your favorite food: Mac n cheese!!!! Anything wirh cheese in it!!! Anything that’s really bad for me basically!

Zodiac sign: Virgo!!

my homies!!!

@twibles @fireballandfailure @uselessgaywhovian @kurage-3 @martin-du-creff @skeletonkravitz

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sushidemon13 · 7 years ago

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Tagged by: @thestripelesszebra

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

A - age: 21 and it just goes down hill from here.

B - birthplace: Aspen Colorado.

C - current time: 3:15

D - drink you last had: Caramel Machiato

E - easiest people to talk to: My little sister (Chaca), my bf, my homies( Jacob, Patrice, Gloria).

F - favorite song: Agnes by Glass Animals

G - grossest memory: This girl on my field trip stabbed her throat with a pencil by accident so she had a pencil sticking out. It even made me almost pass out.

H - horror yes or horror no: Yessss!! I like waking up in the middle of the night feeling like the creepy guy from the movie is watching me from the corner.

I - in love?: Yes, very much so.

J - jealous of people? I can be.

L - love at first sight or should I walk by again? Dunno

M - middle name: None. My actual name is Ana Laura.

N - number of siblings: 1 + cat= 2 siblings?

O - one wish: Be able to travel more often.

P - person you called last: Roxy

Q - question you are always asked: So are you mixed?

R - reason to smile: Im eating a pretty good wrap.

S - song you last sang: Honeybee , the steam powered giraffes.

U - underwear color: Ocean Green

V - vacation destination: Taiwan, Pennsylvania, Seattle, Japan, Croatia, Mexico.

W - worst habit: I dissociate a lot, like at the worst moments such as when I'm crossing the street.

X - x-rays: Arm from skiing.

Y - your comfort food: Curry

Z - zodiac sign: Sagittarius

Tagging: @pocky1000 @desmi-v00 @ruminating-rose @refresh321 @galaxianjake

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achahakyeon · 8 years ago

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Tag Thing Thing on crack

I haven’t been as active bc of things lolol and I’m sooo sorry for the lateness of this. I’m combining all the things I’ve been tagged in so this is gonna be a preTTY LONG POST but to everyone who tagged me, THANKS FAMS (keep tagging me in these lol i love doing them its just that I need 69 motivation points to actually do them haha)

so I was tagged by: @brekineee, @hakyeon-go-go, @smilange, @rapperravioli, @nxnight to do a bunch of tags lolol. THANK YOU ALL lol

Eleven (tagged by Trish)

1. Spring or Fall? Spring

2. What’s the weirdest place you’ve fallen asleep I have the amazing talent of being able to sleep A N Y W H E R E. I mean..the library used to be my second home so I guess...there?

3. Do you prefer listening to music using headphones or speakers? Headphones...in the dark...max volume.

4. Fluffy sweaters or shorts? SWEATERS lol i don’t think I wear shorts tbh

5. If you had no responsibilities, obligations or restrictions for one day, what would you do? die. LOL KIDDING. It’s so weird but tbh, i would Sleep. It’s gotten to a point where I feel guilty when I sleep bc I feel like I should be doing something else lol

6. Fiction or Non-Fiction? Non-Fiction

7. Which VIXX member do you resemble the most? like apperance wise?? none lol. personality wise, I think I’m like Hongbin (bc meme-ing is a full time job) and maybe Leo

8. What’s the first thing you learned to cook? will be shot bc doesn’t know how to cook. STORY TIME: one time my bro and I put a hard boiled egg in a microwave and when we took it out, my bro tried to slice it with a fork and it exploded in his face LOLOL so moral of the story: don’t let me in the kitchen.

9. Hyde or G.R.8.U? I love both but gotta go with Hyde

10. A quote that resonates with you? My all time favourite quote is from Finding Nemo (lol): You can get yourself in there, you can get yourself out.

11. Are you a planner or an improviser? I used to be a planner but I’ve heed the wise words of ma boi Drake so now I YOLO™ through life.

Another 11 questions lol (Tagged by Bre)

1. Very first group you really got into? BTS

2. Have you ever changed biases in a group? If so, what group, and which members? lol I mean...I’m a general hoe for VIXX so..

3. Is there something you do on a daily basis that reminds you of kpop? hmm.. i don’t think so?

4. Do people in real life know about your interests and life online? lol I mean my wife is on here and I’ve dragged all my friends down to this hellsite so..

5. Has a kpop group ever made you want to try something new/different? Hakyeon made me want to try Banana Milk lol does this count??

6. What was your first comeback with your fav group? OH, uhmm...Dynamite I guess?

7. Favorite VIXX ship/pairing? NEO and HAKEN

8. What are your favorite artists besides ones in kpop? OH B O Y lol the list is endless but I’d put RHCP (John Frusciante) and Everything Everything here to keep it short

9. What is something that you find absolutely adorable about your bias or something really cute that they do? Also, answer the same question, but about your friends. Something cute that my bias does?? lol when he touches his face when he gets embarrassed or when he fans himself lol. Something cute my friends do?? lol i dunno they’re all aegyo masters (i hope they’re not reading this tbh LOLOL)

10. Favorite place you’ve ever been to? hmmmmmm... lol I love amusement parks and scary rides so I guess Wonderland lol

11. What is a special talent that a lot of people wouldn’t think you’d have but do? lol like I said, I can fall asleep anywhere as long as you cover my face but most of my friends know that.. hmm, i guess I can play the tenor sax LOLOl

10 bias tag (tagged by Celine, Bre, and Lara)

VIXX (Hakyeon leading the bunch with some swerving towards Ken and Leo)

Namjoon (BTS)

T.O.P (Bigbang)

Onew also Key lol (Shinee)

Zico also P.O lol (Block B)

Eunji (A Pink)

Sungjae also Hyunsik lol (BTOB)

Jennie (Blackpink)

S. Coups (SVT)

JB (Got7)

tbh anything below Zico is like a free for all haha

Rando questions (tagged by Trish, Bre, and Bernice)

First group I listened to/liked? BTS and Bigbang Do you prefer boy groups or girl groups? I listen to more boygroups (actually I only listen to VIXX nowadays lol) Favorite female group? Blackpink Favorite male group? VIXX Favorite female solo artist? I don’t know a lot lol Favorite male solo artist? Dean Top 3 Groups? VIXX, SHINee, Bigbang Favorite Kpop Song? lol wUT even like ALL TIME??? lol i can’t

Favorite happy Kpop song? 어떡하지 (Ottokaji) - VIXX

Favorite Kpop sad song? hmmm lolol all of VIXX’s discography basically

Favorite Kpop smut song? VIXX- Hot Enough ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) <-- I didn’t even change this from copy-pasting LOLOL but also With Me ahahahaaa

Favorite Kpop song of 2017 so far? Home Alone by Ravi and Yonghwa

Favorite debut? NCT

Favorite debut of 2017 so far? lol i’m literally in a hole i don’t know

Favorite mv of 2017 so far? Ravi- Bomb

Favorite mv? ON AND ON. HANDS DOWN. MY FAVOURITE MV FOREVER

Favorite album/mini album? LOL I mean...Ker

Favorite album/mini album of 2017 so far? Again with the hole™. I’ve only listened to R.EAL1ZE

Your ultimate bias? 차에네넨‏ Favorite GIF of your ultimate bias?

^^I lost the source but basically that gif lOLOOL

Favorite picture of your ultimate bias?

looool but I’m also fond of this:

also this LOLOLOL MY fingers slipped lol

Favorite thing about your bias? lol i think I answered above it’s that thing he does when he’s embarrassed and he touches his face and fans himiself lol. also i love his charisma on stage and the way he cares for his members

Was he your bias from the start? H E L L N O. lol it was Leo from VIXX and it was Namjoon as my ult lol

Have you ever changed biases more than 3 times and in what group? I mean...like I said. i’m a hoe for VIXX

If so; what group and what members?

Favorite Ship? HAKEN and NEO.. also Raken, Chabin, and Rabin

Do you ship the “mom & dad” in your favorite group? lol yes

Who’s the mom and dad in your favorite group?

Who do you end up liking more in groups; Leaders, Maknaes, mood makers, vocal, rap, “mom”, “dad”, English speaker, drummer, guitarist, pianist? I go for the Leader, rapper, english speaker *coughs* Namjoon *coughs*

If your bias got a girlfriend/boyfriend how would you feel? I’d probably minister the wedding ceremony. Hakyeon deserves all the happiness in the world.

How would you feel if your bias came out gay/lesbian/bisexual/etc.? I’d be happy for him :’)

Do you think any kpop idols are gay/lesbian/bisexual/etc.? hmm... not sure but i’m sure there’s tons of them

If so; who? I have a feeling Taeil from Block B may be bi but i dunno pls don’t kill me

Favorite kpop blog? lol i follow a crap ton of vixx blogs and they’re all a+++

Favorite kpop scenario blog? lol i don’t...read...scenarios.. but I guess ma bois bangtanscript and seoulscript lol (bc ma homies irl lolol)

Favorite kpop smut blog? n/a

Favorite Kpop fanfic? n/a

Favorite show with kpop idols? I mean Lipstick Prince is coming out soon so..

Do you prefer saying “Oppa” or being called “Noona”? N/A

Is it cuter when KPop Idols know your language or don’t know it and try to speak it? as an international fan, I appreciate them even trying to learn english

BIGBANG: “Bang Bang Bang” or “We like 2 Party?”

iKon: “#WYD” or “Rhythm Ta”?

Monsta X: “Perfect Girl” or “All in”?

BTS: “Save Me” or “Fire”?

EXO: “Monster” or “Growl?”

Astro: “Breathless” or “Hide&Seek”?

Red Velvet vs. EXID: “Ice Cream Cake” or “Up & Down”?

4Minute: “Crazy” or “Hate”?

NCT U vs NCT 127: “The 7th Sense” or “Fire Truck”?

Got7: “Just Right” or “Fly”?

Amber vs Ailee: “Borders” or “Insane”?

FTISLAND: “Take Me Now” or “Pray”?

History: “Queen” or “Might Just Die”?

KNK: “Knock” or “Back Again”?

Day6: “Congratulations” or “Letting Go”?

Block B: “Her” or “Toy”

ZICO: “I am You, You are Me” or “Boys And Girls”?

B.A.P: “Feel So Good” or “Young, Wild & Free?”

Seventeen: “Nice Very Nice” or “Adore U”?

Taeyeon: “I (feat Verbal Jint)” or “Why”?

G-Dragon Vs. Taeyang: “Who you?” or “Eyes, Nose, Lips”

BTS: “The Most Beautiful Moment In Life Series” or “Dark & Wild”?

Day6: “The Day” or “DAYDREAM?”

BIGBANG: “A” or “M”

Monsta X: “The Clan, Pt.1 ” or “Rush”?

Seventeen: “Boys Be” or “First Love&Letter”?

EXO: “Ex’ACT” or “Love Me Right”?

Astro: “Spring Up” or “Summer Vibes”?

Vixx: “Chained Up” or “Error”?

EXO or BTS?

SISTAR or Red Velvet?

NCT U or NCT 127? (literally it’s just NCT tho)

Girls’ Day or Girls Generation?

Seventeen or GOT7?

Winner or iKon?

Block B or Beast?

Romeo or Astro?

Jimin or Jungkook?

Xiumin or Chanyeol?

Taeyeon or Ailee?

Jay Park or Dean?

G-Dragon or Taeyang?

Amber or Henry?

Wooshin or Hwanhee (up10tion)?

Jeonghan or Dino?

Taemin or Jonghyun?

Seulgi or Irene?

Got7: Markson or Markjin?

Red Velvet: JoyGi or WenRi

BTS: VKook or JiKook?

EXO: Hunhan or Kaisoo?

Monsta X: Showhyuk or Jookyun?

Topp Dogg: Hanjoo or Xenissi?

NCT: TaeTen or JaeYong?

Seventeen: Meanie or Jeongcheol?

iKon: Double B or Double J (Junhwan)?

LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST: SELFIE TAG (tagged by Trish and Bernice)

lol i kinda copied Trish’s format so I’m posting a pic with my god-daughter (lol before we watched Beauty and the Beast lolol) side by side with N and his nephew lolol

#tag thing thing #this took like....forever #did NOTREALISE #note to self: do not let tags accumulate lolol #but thanks ppplllsss #i feel like everyone's been tagged to do this so lol #time to bury this post

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candlestub · 8 years ago

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tagged by @bleubutter !!!!!!!!!!

a. age: 15 b. biggest fear: dying knowing i was never truly loved c. current time: 8:58pm d. drink you last had: water because im BORING e. everyday starts with: me waking up from a weird nightmare and falling asleep again f. favorite song: soco amaretto lime by brand new g. ghosts, are they real: haha my friend would literally stop talking to me if i told him i believed in ghosts but hell yea ghosts are real h. hometown: the same town im in rn... i. in love with: the concept of a bright future j. jealous of: people who spend most of their lives w their soulmate k. killed someone: came close to several times HAHA JK l. last time you cried: last last night but lets be REAL i cry so much m. middle name: decline to answer n. number of siblings: one shoutout to u jacqueline o. one wish: to be happy forever :) p. person i last called/texted: ricky and i just got off of a video call where we played portal for an hour, it was my first time playing portal because i waited OVER A YEAR for him to get his computer and honestly it put our relationship under a lot of stress but we managed it q. question you’re always asked: a variation of “how are you going to make a living out of an art degree” homie i dunno but fucking watch me r. reason to smile: when people i don’t know that well are nice to me :)!!!!! s. song last sang: you’re a good man charlie brown lmao t. time you woke up: 5:45am u. underwear color: pink and black v. vacation destination: new york city w. worst habits: liking people who mistreat me x. x-rays you’ve had: none? y. your favorite food: pizza...wings....takis.....i am horribly unhealthy z. zodiac: taurus

snice i tag @gunchman-official n anyone who uses tumblr regularly i dont HECKING know

#about

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simone-garnett · 8 years ago

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Rules: Answer the questions in a new post and tag blogs you would like to get to know better! I was tagged by beautiful @rebelscaptain and the stunning @reeseneseira :)

Nickname: ruthless (which doesn’t reflect my character at all) or ruthie. both are cool :)))

Starsign: Pisces or whichever one is march 19. i swear i read that they changed it or added a sign, i dunno.

Height: 152cm

Last thing I Googled: abesuda. so story time: i wanted to make himbasha with my mother and she couldn’t remember the english name for one of the ingredients. so she got a cooking book and translated it to abesuda. but she and myself were like ??? when it came to the spelling. so i tried different types but we never ended up getting the correct spelling but she’s pretty sure she knows where to buy it now so im happy and im hungry.

Fave music artist: don’t really have a fave. i mean, i have a hella lot of hillsong and backstreet boys so you can probably say it’s them.

Song stuck in my head: none, which is a miracle. bc i can get songs in my head for days.

Last movie I watched: rogue one in the cinema. but p&p aired on the tellie and y’all i was weak.

Last tv show I watched: im adding for longer than 5 minutes on it bc then it would be rbt (random breath testing - yes. driving peeps getting breath tested is a show in australia) but i only got the v end so all i saw were names and their convictions and that reminds me i need to google what ‘novice drinking range’ and ‘special drinking range’ is or whatever that man was convicted under. no chance of it ever happening to me bc i dont drink. but i need to know.

anyways freaKING BOURNEMOUTH WERE SO CLOSE. 70 MINUTES. @ 70 MINUTES YOU WERE WINNING 3-0. HOW THE HELL DID IT CHANGE IN 25 MINUTES FROM 3-0 TO 3-3. I BELIEVED IN YOU DAMN IT. YOU COULD HAVE CRUSHED THOSE MFERS.

... bournemouth v arsenal. was called out by my broski for being emotional. i mean, he could be happy. his team fought back.

What are you wearing right now: white top n some shorts. okay, now im wearing a nightie dress bc im going to sleep soon. it goes half way between my knee and ankle. how scandalous!

When did you create your blog: juneish of ‘14.

What kind of stuff do I post?: all kinds of crap. a lot of flash/ ouat i think. a lot of regina probs. some bonkai. just my ships really. i write fanfic so sometimes its that. a lot of adoration of some cuties in the world.

Do you have any other blog: no. i struggle with just one are you kidding me?

Do you get asks regularly?: no :(

Why did you choose your url?:

it was this moment when zuzu realised she shouldnt challenge me bc i will follow through. i also need to fix the spelling bc i used an ‘o’ and not a ‘u’. later my homies, later.

.... and if i happen to change it to frostyregal any time soon => frosty (caitlin) +regal (regina)

Gender: female

Hogwarts house: i’ve never watched it or read it so ????????? i mean id say ravenclaw bc i follow someone who associates with that house and there was a book rec list based on houses and the first book rec was sherlock holmes + poirot + miss marple.

and so basically whichever house gives me poirot i will support. solely based on poirot. but if your asking for accuracy wouldn’t have a clue.

Pokemon team: ????????? again. i never played it, can’t really say i watched it, maybe in passing, so ??????? is the way i go.

Fave colour: purple.

Average hours of sleep: its holidays so 8 :))))

Lucky number: 19 bc i was born on the 19th and that is how i roll.

Fave character: rose gupta (mi high), regina mills (ouat), caitlin snow (the flash). disclaimer: this list is not exhaustive; i’ve in all likelihood forgotten someone, but my life will always be those three.

How many blankets do you sleep with: 1... but it’s summer so i kick it away before i start sleeping..

Dream job: i dunno. a math teacher.

Following: 97.

tagging: @dukewuornos , @snowleyton , @kentamaeda , @outlawqueener , @chasingblue57 , @you you cutie.

#about me #and no - i dont have any interest whatsoever about watching or reading hp #also #its probs a good thing i dont get curious anons #bc i give out way too much information #ngl im tired and likely forgot to tag a bunch of peeps #let's me amazed i actually got around to doing this #bc this is rare

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borrowedbackpack · 7 years ago

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Africa

First of all, hello from a new continent! I am no longer the Euro Traveller Anna that you’ve come to know and love, but in fact a new and exponentially cooler version of this person – Euro and Other Places Traveller Anna? Hm. Accepting suggestions for a catchier name.

Today started . . . actually I have no idea when today started, lines tend to get blurred when you don’t sleep. So I’m going to say that today started around 3:06am when I woke up on a bench that I’d curled up on in the Stockholm Airport, absolutely sure that I’d slept for a solid couple of hours. Turns out, it had been 16 minutes. Again, win some lose most (in case you haven’t noticed, that’s the official slogan of this trip/blog/my life. Feel free to use it in your life whenever).

Anyways, I was not thrilled about this, and proceeded to do some airport walking cause I was bored. After like 10 years of that, I decided to return to my bench and chill, which is where I found my new friend Nourdine, a Moroccan/Finnish surf instructor. He gave me a tasty Moroccan pancake thing from his suitcase and proceeded to give me the deets on all the cool stuff to do in Morocco and threw in some surfing tips to boot (staying in a straight line is key, apparently). Also, dude spoke Norwegian? So we snak’d Norsk for a bit too. The people you meet, I tell you.

Eventually it was finally time for me to get on my plane! Security was pretty quick and easy (my kånken got searched but I was allowed to go free), and I proceeded on my merry way to my gate. Before they let me into my gate, I had to hand over my passport to a beautiful blonde border guard, which should’ve been a regular ol step but when she started flipping through my passport she was noticeably confused (not the best look to see on the face of the person who’s in charge of whether you get to leave the country or not)

“you’re Swedish?” she asked

“um no, Canadian” (like you’re holding my passport…you know where I’m from)

“where’s your last name from, then?”

“Iceland”

“so you have an Icelandic passport as well?”

“….noooo…?”

“How did you get into Sweden without getting your passport stamped then?”

“hm”*

“hm. That’s weird. Oh well. See ya.”

*I swear there was no passport control upon my arrival in Sweden? Dunno how I pulled this one off. Oh well.

Anyways, then I got on the plane all sleepy like and proceeded to pass the eff out for awhile (cause apparently now I’m also Plane Sleeper Anna, in addition to Euro and Other Places Traveller Anna or whatever). Unfortunately, the plane decided not to take off for a little bit, so much of my napping was done while on the tarmac, and we got all behind schedule and such. But really, after you’ve already been travelling for over 24 hours, what’s 1 or 2 more?

Eventually we hit da ground in Marrakech. Initially, I was kinda disappointed by the aerial view of Morocco. Like it could’ve been Canada, if you squinted a bit. However, as soon as I got off that plane, I knew I was not in PA anymore. First of all, there was that nice, humid, tropical smell. And palm trees. And flowers. Cool. Hi, Africa. I am in you.

I headed over to immigration with my passport and arrival card in hand and a calm and collected attitude (I’ve watched a lot of Border Security in my day). I was pleased to find myself near the front of the big line ol line, thanks to my common sense telling me to fill out my arrival card on the plane instead of in the arrivals hall before getting in line (were ya’ll just too busy on the plane to spend 5 minutes filling out a card? Like we got an entire extra hour, damn. Get it together). Anyways, I was welcomed in o Morocco with zero questions and open arms, if anyone cares. Then I picked up the NBF (who took her sweet time making her way to the baggage carousel. I’m not going to say that I was beginning to panic, because I am a Calm and Collected Euro and Other Places Traveller, but I had concerns, to say the least). Finally I had all my affairs in order and I was ready to embark on my taxi journey to my hostel. Taking taxis in Morocco is fun, as long as you follow this pro tip: only look out the side windows. Do not, under any circumstance, look out the front window. Do not look at the speedometer. Do not look at the donkey or the motorcyclist you’re about to hit. Do not look your driver, as he texts his homie with one hand, leans on the horn with his other, and tries to steer the car with his knees. Just don’t. Look at the palm trees n shit. Those are nice.

Cats. There’s a lot of those here. Don’t worry Jen, I’m refraining from socializing with the the feral cats.

So my taxi driver leaves me at my hostel (which is the nicest hostel – it’s got a lemon tree growing in the middle. Imagine, a lemon tree growing in your very own house! What a place) and I go inside and the nicest Morrocan dude checks me in. I ended up in a top bunk, but I’m not even mad.

The rooftop of my hostel.

Then I decide to go for a little wander round Marrakech to the main square and stuff. Luckily, one of the people working at my hostel provided me with useful directions:

“you could go that way, right, right, right x3 8 minutes, but…no. I think that will be too much zig-zag for you. I think you will not find the square. Instead, go right, left, right, 7 minutes, and you will find the square” and guess what? I did the rights and the left and I found the square. Marrakech is everything I thought it would be x3 8 minutes (at least). It’s high functioning chaos at its best, which involves a lot of people, motor bikes, regular bikes, donkeys, yelling, cats, and a couple of monkeys and cobras sprinkled in for good measure. Walk with purpose, don’t engage, and Marrakech is your oyster. Looking forward to what tomorrow’s wanderings will bring. Also looking forward to sleeping in an actual bed. I’m getting too old for this airport sleeping nonsense.

A tree tunnel.

#marrakech #morocco #travel #africa

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gulescamisade · 7 years ago

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Virginia: Day 2

DAVENFORTH: -Here they are, on the road. The trees wiz by as Takoda rolls them along. Davenforth is awake right now, watching the scenery and trying to figure out exactly what the fuck is going on while a cold fish cuddles and snoozes on while being covered in various warming apparel-

MAYOR: -chewing on a delicious seat-

HIGHBLOOD: =The warm smell of a hot, fresh banana cream pie slowly seeps from the back=

RILEY: -she awakens to the smell of banana cream pie, opening her eyes from a snoring and drooling deep sleep against derek. she sits up and tiredly looks around for the source-

HIGHBLOOD: =its him, or rather the pie on the little table he's got propped up over his lap. A bowl of sliced bananas next to it, he lays the slices gently on the whipped surface of the pie=

DAVENFORTH: -Grumbles something about "clown magic" -

QIRIN: =Softest of tummy gurgles.=

QIRIN: =Gently places a hand over her own face.=

MAYOR: -all you SUCKERS can get hungry over pies if you want. It's not even green?-

HIGHBLOOD: =he might have green pies, who knows=

DAVENFORTH: -He really wouldn't recommend eating a juggalo party bus seat. Do you know what's been on these things?-

PENNY: -wakes up next to the mayor and groaaans. She is not feeling too hot right now. Also reaches over and tries to push the Mayor away from his seat eating.- dude no thats so gnarly.

DAVENFORTH: Marinated in sex sweat and faygo

GAIZKA: =Sleeping Meditating under a pile of those fuzzy rainbow robes. Legs kickied up against the side wall of the bus. Flicks an ear.= GAIZKA: only MoThErFuCkInG marinade WhAt will Do. =Tired bemused mumbling.=

QIRIN: Ugghhghghg

HIGHBLOOD: =Gaizka better be in the back with him= amen on that shit usual but nastyass blaspheme soaked up in it my motherfucker

DAVENFORTH: Still salty about that huh

DAVENFORTH: You know its not a religion on earth its more of a cult

DAVENFORTH: One condy probably brought here

MAYOR: ? -offers a handful of gross chair stuffing to penny-

HIGHBLOOD: =quirks eyebrow= .... one ought have words and extremities for her if that so be the realness, ain't too farfetched

GAIZKA: =If the back is where one has room for two 9 feet+ clowns then in the back he is. He hums.= stray souls in NeEd of some GuIdIn' AsSiSt or so it go. be So HiThEr, DiThEr or in the UnBrEaThAbLe.

DAVENFORTH: Do either of you know how a magnet works

HIGHBLOOD: in the unbreathable gaiz, they already been tainted =Shows finished banana cream pie to Davenforth, he will pie you=

PENNY: ... bro no. -nudges Mayor's hand away-

MAYOR: -Picky eaters... he offers a green crayon from inside of his tattered rags. U NEED TO EAT. sustain your internal skeleton.-

LIFERA: -she's only vaguely awake, wanting very much to hibernate a bit, but fins flick and she peers up around Dave's shoulder to look back at Gaizka.- ... -Grumpy glub.-

DAVENFORTH: -Answer the question. Also he will eat that entire pie-

GAIZKA: =Shrugs a shoulder underneath the pile.= if so a HoLy BrOtHeR pReAcH. =You do you man. Everyone just feel yourselves.= GAIZKA: magnets got tHeM mAgNeTiC aEsThEtIc AtTrAcT themselves some FrEnEtiC.

DAVENFORTH: -This is why he likes you Gaizka-

PENNY: bro........... PENNY: hey big guy are you sharing that pie? I think this dude needs it more than anybody.

MAYOR: -EXCUSE-

DAVENFORTH: Thats just how he eats

PENNY: Im gonna call bullshit on the whole concept of eating then.

HIGHBLOOD: =reaches a long arm to put a potholder on Riley's head. Then balance the pie on it, assembles another one while putting a whole plate of corn muffins with honey glaze on the Gaizka pile= motherfucker seem mightily content

GAIZKA: =Shakes his head out of the pile to peer at the muffins placed upon him. He's just gonna help himself, thanks brosef.= GAIZKA: =Holds a muffin up in Lifera's direction and tilts his head quizzingly. Why the grumpy glubs? Have a muffin.=

DAVENFORTH: -Trying his best to keep Lifera as warm as possible.-

RILEY: -keeps completely still- is there a pie on my head or am i still asleep?

LIFERA: ... -Smiles a little and takes the muffin. Bites it in half in one sharp slice of teeth and offers some to Davenforth.-

DAVENFORTH: (Nah you go ahead baybe im good)

RILEY: -takes the whole thing off her head and DIGS IN-

RILEY: -SHE IS HUNGRY-

GAIZKA: =Takes the opportunity to dump some of the rainbow robes on Lifera and Davenforth since he's getting up now apparently.= :o)

DAVENFORTH: -Gdi-

GAIZKA: AiN't any proper LoVeBiRdInG nest without SoMe FuZzIeS. =He got you homies.= ;o)

LIFERA: -SWALLOWS MUFFIN and snrks.- T)(ANKS seaweedie. -shh... we're married.-

DAVENFORTH: -Ceremony date is pending-

LIFERA: -not us me and Gaizka?? SHEESH.-

LIFERA: 3;*

DAVENFORTH: -Wasted-

GAIZKA: =They can all get married and become goat farmers in the alps. He gives Lifera a lopsided grin.= any ol' time AnGeLfIsH.

TAKODA: -still driving- }8) -he's smiling, wide eyed and trying to stay awake.-

LIFERA: -soft glubs... she loves this clownfish. Speaking of love and this clownfish, she glances over at their driver.- Are you still ocray up there, Takoda?

DAVENFORTH: You want me to take over koda

TAKODA: ... TAKODA: THAT WOULD PROBABLY BE W1SE, 1F WE SW1TCHED...

DAVENFORTH: Get some rest buddy -Smooches Lifs head and gets up to head up front-

TAKODA: -pulls off to the side of the road at the first opportunity-

GAIZKA: =Looks over Liffy while she glances away. Does her hair need a brushin'..?=

DAVENFORTH: -He is the captain now, and he takes a seat, getting them moving again. Where even are they headed? We just don't know, but it would probably be wise to stop at a gas station soon-

QIRIN: =they can always grab a hose and steal gas=

QIRIN: =she was a teenager, once=

GAIZKA: =One does not simply stop being a teenager.=

TAKODA: -wanders towards the back with the clowns and finds himself a seat. he should sleep but... now that he's not distracted by driving his thoughts are racing. darn it.-

GAIZKA: =Welcome to Clowntown. Have a rainbow robe. He drapes it around Takoda's shoulders while humming. Strategically sings out some of the lyrics lowkey.= (can't you see, you're my delight,) =Hum hum.= (just feel like, i won't get you, out of my mind.) =What's up here come dat thought and it's gay as hell.=

TAKODA: -geez... he's still not used to being spoiled with affection like this.- HEHEHE... THANK YOU...

GAIZKA: ;o)c GAIZKA: you feel on PeAcHy KeEn, BrOtHeR? been up on them WhEeLs for LoNg PaSs.

TAKODA: 1'M F1NE... JUST T1RED, 1S ALL. BUT ALSO, RESTLESS?

GAIZKA: yeah? how you ReCkOn that NoIsE AlLs up work? need HiM some PaCiN' or be ThEm ReStLeSs NoTeS of the MiNdSpAcE?

LIFERA: -her hair always needs brushing and is just past her shoulders now... it grows fast. She's spying on those two now, and maybe sliding closer. Lend her your warmth and your cuteness.-

LIFERA: 38)

TAKODA: 1T'S, UH, 1N THE HEAD, MOSTLY... -notices lifera APPROACHING- TAKODA: ... H1.

GAIZKA: seem none act keep SuChIn ThOuGhT FlOw WaNdErInGs at bay. =Sees Lifera slide n scoot on over, and thus lifts one of his big barrel arms. He's big enough for everyone to lend warmth to.=

GAIZKA: and this HoMeTtE? got just them BoD wAnDeRs or MiNd Be AlL iNcLuSiVe?

LIFERA: -squirms her round little self under his arm and snugs close, sighing.- Oh, I'm all thought out, I'm shore. My little ones are taken care of...

LIFERA: -And she's pretty prepared to throw herself into any oncoming frays, swords, bullets, etcetera. She doesn't really need to think much for that.-

GAIZKA: =Lowers his arm to wrap around her once she's snug like a bug in a rug.= AlLs them LiL ThOuGhTwAvEs done up and gone with themselves on the MoThErFuCkInG breeze. i feel you SiStEr.

DAVENFORTH: -Driving gives him time to focus, which for Dave maybe isn't the best thing but oh well. Earth was radically different since he last visited, and he still had no clue what was going on. Undoubtedly, Condy was behind the madness but...why split them up like this but leave them with means of communication? Was she that cocky? Taking a look at their fuel gauge, he figures they have a few more hours of travel time. He'll stop at the nearest gas station when he sees it.-

RILEY: - are you trying to focus Dave because get ready to be brocused. That pie she had is destroyed by now with no trace left. She plants herself in the seat nearest to the drivers- hey.

PENNY: -YEAH YOU GO UP THERE. She's gonna make herself cozy with the grand pieblood too.-

RILEY: -we got a mutual friend now suck on that-

LIFERA: Glub...

LIFERA: I just want to help in whatebber way is N-E-ED-ED.

LIFERA: I don't think my other skrills are of much use here.

PENNY: -GAAAHHHH-

HIGHBLOOD: =If she really is peeping at him he's downing a 2 liter of faygo like its nothing.... which incomparison to him..... it isn't. Peace signs at her=

PENNY: haha same. -she would guzzle something... IF SHE HAD IT.- PENNY: so uh. what do I gotta do to get a pie from you?

HIGHBLOOD: ain't nothin gotta get down lil sismiss HIGHBLOOD: shit doth occur in the time it's done dued up, you just ain't found it yet =She should check under her seat=

HIGHBLOOD: =He looks downward too actually=

PENNY: .... -follows his gaze. Is he looking at the pie??-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's looking under her seat, directly under the human buttsit, it's in a box with a big :o) on the top=

PENNY: oh shit.

PENNY: -reaches down to pull it out and pops the lid.- crouching pie hidden breakfast.

PENNY: thanks big guy. youre a real ten foot bro.

PENNY: sorry Im having a hard time getting past the whole...

PENNY: -spreads her hands wide- thing.

HIGHBLOOD: ain't no apologies needed

HIGHBLOOD: dunno your shit and ain't gonna pry lil sismiss

HIGHBLOOD: as it is it'll be, can't get its ass no other kinda way, you dig?

PENNY: that is. EXACTLY how I feel thank you.

PENNY: -there's probably not a fork in here right?? She's gonna try to nibble this pie with no hands.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Whats a fork=

PENNY: -yeah that's what she thought-

PENNY: ish pree goo tho.

PENNY: youre the real star of this road trip.

HIGHBLOOD: =compliments on his bakes, hell ye. Shimmers= truth on the quality confectionaries though butterance ain't needed

HIGHBLOOD: here not to be no star but keepin the dream alive as i is and am everywhere :o)

PENNY: dont think anyones ever called me the dream before. -SNRK-

DAVENFORTH: Sup -He's starting to get all focused and serious.-

HIGHBLOOD: ain't everybody got them eyes for prizes sismiss ;o)

PENNY: oh shit. I do like you. -scoops banana whip into her mouth with a hand because fuck it she's hungry and the handless approach isn't working-

HIGHBLOOD: tend to be an agreeable motherfucker what with all mine charm and beauty =chinhands=

PENNY: you are hella both in large quantities to no ones surprise. pretty sure everything about you is large. -eats pie contemplatively.-

HIGHBLOOD: in comparison and proportion :o)

PENNY: okay so real question. how many of these pies could you put down?

HIGHBLOOD: damn...... i mix varieties up in my eatins don't gorge on a single thing till a brofo am full....

HIGHBLOOD: ain't never tried but now got reason to do so :o0

PENNY: you gotta. for science.

PENNY: but mostly cuz I wanna see you eat like fifty pies.

HIGHBLOOD: oh fifty is easy

HIGHBLOOD: that ain't a thang sismiss

RILEY: you've got that look going on. i think it's time for some music.

HIGHBLOOD: =Music..... should be break out the sax=

PENNY: hell... yes??? this guy knows his limits and also his lack of them. God bless.

HIGHBLOOD: gotta be in peace with your mind and vessle sismiss

HIGHBLOOD: can do wonderous things

DAVENFORTH: Only music this bus has is icp if you want that be my guest

HIGHBLOOD: =Don't. He's breaking out the sax, that's it=

TAKODA: WE COULD ALL S1NG, AND PLAY MUS1C, 1F WE ARE THE K1NDS, WHO KNOW HOW TO PLAY 1NSTRUMENTS.

TAKODA: WH1CH 1 DO. AND 1 KNOW FOR A FACT, A LOT OF YOU HERE DO. }:o -at ghb's sax-

HIGHBLOOD: =Now that he's looking at it, yup. Here goes him, playing old pop songs from hundreds of years ago https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQxO32lKszo =

PENNY: -SWAYS. This is the best thing that could have possibly happened.-

MAYOR: -percussions on the cans-

DAVENFORTH: -He appreciates the irony but he needs a cigarette-

HIGHBLOOD: =He's fuckin it up on the sax, its just giving you too much life Davenforth=

DAVENFORTH: -A bowl. He needs a bowl. But he doesn't want to lose his focus. He doesn't fight as well under the influence as he used to...-

HIGHBLOOD: =Haha you're old=

DAVENFORTH: -No he just leads a more sober lifestyle-

PENNY: -OLD AS FUCK.-

HIGHBLOOD: =Both, but good on you man. This one goes out to you. Doots soulfully=

RILEY: that sax though.

RILEY: -with all the ruckus at least she can talk to him- you doing okay?

DAVENFORTH: Peachy fucking keen

RILEY: like shit. okay.

RILEY: now we're getting somewhere.

DAVENFORTH: Riri im good just trying to piece together what the actual fuck is going on

RILEY: is this actually something you can piece together? you're gonna stress yourself out thinking about it too much. we have a destination, we just have to get there.

DAVENFORTH: Fuck i dunno but ive gotta try and were a long ass way from minnesota

RILEY: you ever been to minnesota before?

DAVENFORTH: Once dont really remember it

RILEY: yeah. i've never been. had like one show scheduled there but i didn't go. just cuz it was minnesota.

DAVENFORTH: -Taps at the steering wheel-

RILEY: -glances over at him-

RILEY: -y u tap dat-

DAVENFORTH: -He's fine this is all fine.-

RILEY: -time to distract him- so you're legally dead, right.

DAVENFORTH: Dave skellington is me not so much im like missing or presumed dead or some shit just waiting to pop up at my own funeral like some kind of shitty clickbait article the empress of the universe thought he was dead what happened next will warm your heart

DAVENFORTH: Schrodingers asshole

RILEY: wow. that makes so much sense.

DAVENFORTH: I was my own agent

DAVENFORTH: I never revealed dave skellingtons identity to the public

DAVENFORTH: And when he got assassinated i was around him but my death was never confirmed just presumed

RILEY: damn. i should have done that. pulled a hannah montana like you did.

DAVENFORTH: It made shit stupid difficult

RILEY: yeah probably because literally everyone knew who you were.

DAVENFORTH: I worked hard for it

RILEY: weren't there like babies whose first words were dave?

DAVENFORTH: Probably

RILEY: -she pauses- you got a killer headache, huh?

DAVENFORTH: You dont want your babies first word to be dave

RILEY: -there it is- nope.

DAVENFORTH: Sucks to be you

RILEY: there's no possible way that's happening.

DAVENFORTH: -Shrugs-

DAVENFORTH: You doing alright

RILEY: -smug- you don't want your kids' first word to be riley?

DAVENFORTH: It was suh

RILEY: not a word.

DAVENFORTH: Sup is absolutely a word

RILEY: newborns can say suh.

DAVENFORTH: Can they say bro and dude

RILEY: really?

DAVENFORTH: Jinjin is a very talented baby

RILEY: damn trolls and their accelerated development.

DAVENFORTH: You hatin on my baby

RILEY: i'm jealous.

DAVENFORTH: Why you get to enjoy all that cute shit longer

RILEY: no, i mean i'm jealous I didn't grow up that fast.

DAVENFORTH: Wait youre grown up

RILEY: -such a glare- you are SO funny. just a comedic class act.

DAVENFORTH: I was voted most likely to die by cocaine overdose

DAVENFORTH: Also best dressed

RILEY: who are we polling?

JODIE: - shuffles around in the back somewhere. she's extremely hung over-

DAVENFORTH: Well that one was my high school class

QIRIN: =Now Jodie...imagine the greasiest pizza you have ever laid eyes on. Oil is literally dripping from the cheese. YUM.=

JODIE: - she's barely even conscious and she already wants this in her body-

RILEY: nice. great categories. -lifts her head- okay who fucking has pizza?

QIRIN: =I do. An imaginary one.=

DAVENFORTH: -Babe chill-

RILEY: wait. -groans- blaming my bad sense of smell on the baby.

JODIE: - she wants REAL pizza-

DAVENFORTH: I mean they were right werent they

RILEY: close enough. i don't think i was voted into anything. it would have been most likely to go to juvie for truancy.

JODIE: anybody got some water?

JODIE: -HER VOICE IS HOARSE. she got black out drunk and is now reaping the benefits.-

RILEY: -GIRL-

JODIE: -rubbing eyes.-

DAVENFORTH: -Nope only whiskey-

DAVENFORTH: You didnt miss much

JODIE: cool.

RILEY: somebody had a party last night.

QIRIN: =she slowly rose to her feet and handed her an unopened water bottle= ^_^

JODIE: -blessed woman. makes a smooching sound at her and then CHUGS IT-

QIRIN: =dear lord=

QIRIN: If I may interject... Perhaps slower consumption will aid you better...

JODIE: that was like a pre-party. imma wait til we have something to celebrate before i pull out all the stops.

JODIE: -GLUG GLUG???-

QIRIN: =mainly she doesn't want her to choke=

RILEY: you can't get her to slow down.

RILEY: it's impossible.

JODIE: -drinks half the bottle and passes it on back-

JODIE: -fishes in her purse and reapplies lip balm- thanks bby.

QIRIN: It's quite all right, please keep it. =YOU MAY NEED IT LATER=

JODIE: oh sweet. after i drink it all i can pee in the bottle.

JODIE: save us time.

JODIE: -TOSSES IT IN HER PURSE-

QIRIN: =frog god help her=

JODIE: i swear i can get it all in without a stray drop. it's a talent.

DAVENFORTH: Theres a bathroom -If you can call it that-

JODIE: damn. fancy ass bus.

RILEY: a bottle actually might be preferable.

JODIE: -MIGHT BE A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED THAT SHE CAN'T SHOW OFF HER TALENT.-

RILEY: -has to pee aLL THE TIME THANKS RYAN-

RYAN: -rihanna winks from the womb-

RILEY: -GIRL!!!!-

DAVENFORTH: -Hark! Is that a gas station he sees in the distance?-

RILEY: -PLEASE JESUS-

DAVENFORTH: -Indeed it is! Davenforth pulls into the station. Is it abandoned we just don't know yet.-

DEREK: -eyes out the window-

DAVENFORTH: Alright kids its time for a rest

RILEY: i'm really fucking hungry. does this place have those rent a showers? not like i have any earth money on me. do they accept that anymore?

DAVENFORTH: -Shrugs-

QIRIN: What of trading?

RILEY: -blinks at qirin for a moment- oh. yeah! that.

DEREK: -stands up and stretches-

DAVENFORTH: Pretty sure they dont accept third borns

DAVENFORTH: Lets see if this place isnt abandoned first -Looks at Derek like you coming with?-

RILEY: -she's already walking out the bus-

DEREK: -HELL YEAH HE IS. nods at the brother and trots on after-

DAVENFORTH: -Hops off the bus-

DAVENFORTH: So if there aint anyone in there you think you remember how to do that thing behind the counter to get free gas

RILEY: -there better be some FOOD IN HERE-

DEREK: Sure I do. -ok hand- I got this.

RILEY: get us some fuel, baby.

DAVENFORTH: -Heads on in-

DAVENFORTH: Anybody home

RILEY: -curiously looks around. what's this place look like anyway-

QIRIN: Honestly. At the very least write an IOU.

DAVENFORTH: -It's much akin to a good sized seven eleven. Hot dog and pizza machine, aisles of snacks with the cooler section in the back with drinks. There's even a tv on the wall with the latest news. Everything is up and running but Davenforth notes it's quiet-

QIRIN: =what's on the telly?=

RILEY: -if there's no one in here she's gonna take some shit and run. she's checking some expiration dates on some chips to make sure-

DAVENFORTH: -Deez nuts-

DEREK: -peeks behind the counter casually. nobody's there, but maybe they're just in the bathroom or the back room or something. either way, he's hopping over the counter to do his thing.-

DAVENFORTH: -There's probably something on tv about policies the New dual juggalo presidents are going to be enacting. Boring stuff honestly. Oh yeah, Two juggalos won the presidency. Davenforth is trying to figure out how to make some tea for folks. Everyone is cold.-

RILEY: -she's stuffing her arms full of stuff like cheap hot dogs and sandwiches and donuts and a whole bunch of shit before just straight up slippin it in the sylladex. there's a bathroom and she's going to take this opportunity while it's here. tHERE sHE GOES-

DAVENFORTH: I can see why you married her

DEREK: -grins as he watches her go. she scurry.- Yeah... We used to get into all kinds of shit back in the way.

DAVENFORTH: Youre always getting into shit -He too, is stuffing his sylladex full of shit, non perishable food, water, Gatorade, microwavable burritos and pizza rolls...until he actually hears the named shaggy 2 dope and violent j. Now the tv has his full fucking attention-

RILEY: -busts out of the restrooms- okay, guys, i-- -she sees dave looking at the tv so she also is looking at the tv and not believing anything she's seeing right now-

QIRIN: =trying to ignore all this petty crime happening=

QIRIN: Can you believe it? =She's paritially asking herself that question=

DAVENFORTH: That would explain the rise of the juggalos

RILEY: -frowns- you sure this isn't one of those sketch comedy shows? or a mockumentary?

DAVENFORTH: Afraid not

DEREK: -furrows brows at the tv- Whats the point of fucking the planet over to this degree? Did all the Alternian imperialized planets get this kinda treatment?

RILEY: this is fucking ridiculous. how is this a thing? who made this a thing?

#tenaciousgodliness #transienttutor #robynsaint #pennyLane #temulenceGenetrix #arcadianLuminary #jubilantPacifier #coralcaliph #weatheringQuerist #warwearyvagabond #trunculentcampyman

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