#for the anon who sent that optimus x ftm reader comfort fic request

[erimeows]

Snow

Optimus Prime wasn’t the best at comforting other people. He was awkward, withdrawn, and unsure of how to relate to others’ struggles- really, he thought he lacked empathy. So, as he sat up in bed with his back against the headboard and a servo over the back of your head, he debated on what exactly he should be doing.

You had been tossing and turning for the past hour or so. It was normal for Optimus to miss out on sleep whether it be because of work, nightmares, stress, or insomnia, but you? Your rest was important to him. He didn’t know if he should wake you up or not, as it was clear that you weren’t sleeping well, but he didn’t want you to miss out on any sleep either.

Were you having a nightmare, or was he just projecting his issues onto you...? You were laying on your stomach with your head in your arms, legs kicking and body thrashing about, a disturbed look on your sleeping face when you moved your arms enough for him to see it. The only reason he was even awake was because you’d turned over and smacked your fist over his face in your sleep. Thankfully, with your smaller human body, you didn’t do any damage to his face plating, but it was enough to startle him and fill him with concern.

He knew you’d been going through a rough time recently; a bad fight with some of your family over what you were doing in life (they disapproved of you dating him and a lot of other things about you. he wanted to punt kick them across the planet, but you wouldn’t allow it), severe anxiety about him and how dangerous his job was fighting against the Decepticons, issues with your day job, body dysphoria, and problems taking care of yourself; you either didn’t eat enough or ate so much that it made you uncomfortable, you were forgetting to stay hydrated, you went days if not a week or two without showering, you rarely brushed your hair and only brushed your teeth when you were reminded to, hardly changed clothes, and let your sleep schedule become a complete and utter mess. Even worse, you’d been talking very badly about yourself, your looks, your personality, and your person as a whole, and knowing just how bad of a mental spot you were in broke Optimus’s spark.

He couldn’t remember the last time the two of you had a good day together, no worries and no stress, just enjoying each other’s company.

But really, he didn’t care. He would have as many bad days as he had to if it meant that he would be able to get you through this, to make you feel better. He just wanted you to be okay again.

With a small huff, he moved the hand on the back of your helm down to one of your shoulders to tentatively shake you awake. Your eyes snapped open, which made him flinch, but then you were staring at him with a tired, pitiful look. 

“Oppy...?”

Your tone was confused, your (h/l) (h/c) locks were a greasy mess, your (e/c) eyes were red, your (s/c) skin was blotchy from days of you anxiously scratching at it and forgetting to wash your face, and you were practically shaking where you had moved to lay on your side to face him. Even if the timing was bad, Optimus couldn’t help but think that, even at your worst, you were the most attractive person in the universe to him.

“Hey, handsome,” Optimus whispered in a hushed tone and offered a soft, tired smile as he caressed your face in one of his servos, thumb lovingly stroking over your cheekbone. “What’s happening?”

“Oppy,” You breathed, almost like a sigh of relief, but at the same time, tears were filling your (e/c) eyes and pouring out to stream down your cheeks. You moved to cling to him in an instant by wrapping your arms around his body and burying your face in his chest. Your next words were muffled. “Thank God, you’re still here...”

“Of course,” Optimus replied and scooped up your small body to cradle you in his strong arms and hold you against his chest. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know, it’s just...” You paused, and then sighed, comforted by how you were being held by him. “I had a dream that you were gone.”

“That I was gone...?” Optimus mumbled, fearing the worst but hoping for the best in your answer. “What do you mean?”

“You died,” You answered, sniffling, only for the last of your composure to shrivel up and die as a heart wrenching sob wracked your throat, coming out against his chest. Your tears fell onto his heated metal as you continued. “Megatron, he- he finally killed you, and I was there but I was too weak to do anything like I always am and-!”

“Woah, hey,” Optimus started and pulled you as close as he could, rocking you in his arms in some attempt to soothe you. Had you been having nightmares like this regularly, or was this the first one? If it was the former, how long had it been going on for? Why hadn’t he been able to help before it’d gotten to this point, you sobbing into his chest and desperate for a moment of peace? “I’m here, okay? I’m right here, and-” He was tempted to promise that he would always be there, that he would never leave, but he couldn’t do it in good conscience. Just like you feared, he could die any day now, and once the conflict with the Decepticons died down or once they were finally bested, he would have to go back to Cybertron with his team and there was no way he could safely take him with you. As long as you’d been dating, as much as you two loved each other, and as much as he wanted this to work, he knew that there was a good chance it wouldn’t; that this would be temporary, but he was willing to do anything for you while he still could. “And I don’t want to leave you, (y/n). I never want to leave you. What can I do to make you feel better?”

“I don’t know,” You answered, shaky, your hands desperately clinging to his shoulders. “Just stay with me... Please don’t leave.”

Optimus didn’t make any promises- he never did. Instead, he shushed you and hugged you tight.

“I think what you need is a distraction,” He offered. “Why don’t we go outside for a bit?”

“It’s cold outside right now, Oppy,” You laughed, voice crackly. 

“We can bundle up and keep each other warm, right?”

“Okay, sure.”

You relented with another laugh before wiping the tears from your face, and with that, the two of you were slowly separating and getting out of bed. Optimus stood and watched you get dressed with plenty of layers; your binder, boxers, leggings, sweats, two pairs of socks, boots, a tight long sleeve shirt, a sweater, a jacket, and a coat. You stopped to fix your hair before continuing with your layers, finishing off your warm, cozy look with gloves, a scarf, beanies, and earmuffs. 

Recently, there had been a cold front in Detroit, leaving the weather bitter and chilly in low single digits and tons of snow. Optimus didn’t mind it much, as Cybertronians naturally ran a lot warmer than humans and regulated temperature well, but he knew that you had to put a lot of effort into staying warm. 

He could tell that you were still thinking about your nightmare and all of the doubts and questions and fears that came with it, but you persevered and took his servo when you finished getting ready, looking up at him with a forced smile.

Still, he smiled back and squeezed your hand reassuringly.

“You look great, handsome,” He complimented, only to earn a scoff and a roll of your smouldering (e/c) eyes in return- almost like you didn’t believe him.

“Thanks,” You responded with a wry smile and an equally as dry tone.

All Optimus could do was laugh. 

The two of you snuck through the base to avoid waking the others because according to the clock on the living room wall, it was past midnight and everyone else should’ve been in recharge. You were successful despite the little mischievous chuckles and snickers that fell from between both of your mouths. When was the last time you’d gone somewhere together and had fun like this so spontaneously? Optimus couldn’t remember. Things had been hard recently, and even if the circumstances weren’t the best, he was happy to be by your side with the two of you smiling again.

It felt... Healing. Rejuvenating, like something deep in his spark was being reignited again. A wide grin took over his face when the two of you made it out the front door, only for you to let go of his servo so you could run off from him and into the front yard, gathering some snow in your hands and throwing it up. He watched it flutter and break into little pieces, and then be blown away by the harsh wind and land on the ground again. It was ‘good snow’ as you and many other humans called it, meaning that it was fluffy and easy to clump up and make things with instead of icy, crunchy, and prone to falling apart when you tried to mush it together to make snowmen or other things with it.

Optimus just watched you for a few moments, enjoying yourself for the first time in weeks as you crouched down on the ground to make a little snowball. Seconds later, though, you turned around and chucked it at him, hitting him square in the chest. Quirking his optical ridge, he used his windshield wipers to get the snow off of his pristine window plates before kneeling down to meet your eyes.

“Oh, so it’s a snowball fight you want, huh? You’re so on!”

He began making a snowball with his own servos, and unsurprisingly, you were running away, gleeful little laughs coming from between your lips that made his spark beat hard against his chest and his face flush with the utter adoration he had for you. He adored you so much, in fact, that he decided he was going to go easy on you and make the snowball especially small while also giving you a head start to run away from his attacks.

And, even with all of your struggles and all of your stress, Optimus managed to put it aside for a moment, because as long as you were happy, he had nothing to worry about. 

“Are you coming or not?” You yelled, now quite a bit aways away from him.

“Just you wait!” He called out, and with that, he was running after you with a snowball in hand, laughing just as loud if not louder than you were.