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cummunication · 5 years ago

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The craziest people I know (don’t go to therapy)

Therapy... I have an appointment today actually. I’ve been going for the last ten years. I first started seeing the school psychologist, going to my YFS center (youth and family services). I started going more regularly after my father died which was perfect since I would go during my lunch period. I had nobody to sit with at lunch so it was a perfect excuse to go. I began receiving outside counseling in eleventh or twelfth grade, once a week. At this point I was a minor so my mom paid. Now as an adult, I am thankful my mom brought me and paid because I see how inconvenient it can be and how it adds up. Even though most therapists accept insurance, some don’t. Even with insurance you can be paying 65$ up every time which is usually once or twice a week. That being said, I truly believe the best and most important thing we can invest in is ourselves and therapy is worth it. Therapy is being brought into the open which I’m very happy with but still, there is a stigma attached to counseling. The first thought most people have when they hear you are in therapy is “what’s wrong with them? Are they mentally unstable? Or, why do they need therapy?” People associate receiving help as something wrong with you or you can’t handle yourself. This is simply not true. The most mentally sane (or emotionally healthy people) are in therapy, receiving help for their issues. This is because they are open minded and willing to admit their flaws. They are ready to be proactive and willing to better themselves. I firmly believe everyone should be in therapy. Therapy isn’t just a useful tool where you receive an honest, outside opinion from a professional, but a time to be truthful with yourself, reflect, and gain useful insight. It’s immensely helpful in learning emotional intelligence and how to deal with feelings. Sometimes, when I suggest therapy to people, they say “I don’t need it, I’m not crazy” and to be completely honest, these are the people who need therapy the most. They are close minded, in denial and not willing or ready to deal with their shit. We all have things we should be willing to face, change and improve in ourselves. It’s not just people who have a diagnosable mental health disorder or went through a trauma that should go to therapy. I also hear therapy is “paying someone to be your friend”. This makes me sad because yes, like any other service, therapy is a business; but people who enter the human services, social work or psychology field are generally empathic people who truly care and want to help you. “If I go to a therapist, does that mean I'm crazy, weak or a failure? What will others think? What if I'm seen coming out of that kind of office? Such concerns are quite natural given our socio-cultural conditioning. Unfortunately, as a result, many people decide not to pursue counseling despite experiencing significant emotional, physical or mental distress. Let's clarify a few things. Most people who initiate counseling do not have a serious mental illness. They have serious life challenges or are going through difficult life-cycle transitions that may be taxing their current ability to cope. This, in turn, may be adversely affecting their well-being and ability to function as well as they would like. Examples of serious life challenges can be dealing with chronic work-related stressors; career issues; financial problems; health issues or a recent health diagnosis; family or parent/child conflict; cultural assimilation; and academic issues. Examples of difficult life-cycle related transitions can be the death of a family member or friend; the ending of a romantic relationship or close friendship; family/couple changes related to the addition of a child; getting married or divorced; care giving for loved ones due to illness or disability; and decision-making challenges related to these life choices. These are just some of the reasons why people decide to go to counseling. So, if you are going through one or more of these challenges at the same time, you're not alone. The effects are often cumulative, which is generally referred to as a 'pile-up' of stressors. Counseling during these times can be quite helpful in providing both the support and skills to better address these life challenges. Ultimately, it is an invaluable investment in your emotional, physical and mental health, an act of courage not weakness, and a gift to those whose lives you touch. But what if you’re not in a moment of “disaster relief?” Surprisingly, the best time to start therapy may be when your life’s going relatively well. Despite the fact that more than 59 million Americans seek the services of a mental health care professional each year, there’s a stigma that therapy is only for people suffering a debilitating mental illness or going through a massive interpersonal issue. The benefits of therapy extend far beyond periods of crisis. Many people want more than to be ‘not depressed.’ They wonder what they can do to be the happiest, most productive, most loving version of themselves. Because achieving your full potential requires a heck of a lot of self-knowledge, self-control, and—let’s be honest—hard work, it’s best done when you’re not in freak-out mode. What’s more, if there’s an issue in your life that’s causing you distress, it’s better to deal with it sooner than later. Over time, minor difficulties can bloom into disasters that have you hitting the tissue box hard. But the earlier you go to therapy and engage in introspection, the better off you are in the long run. The benefit of seeing a mental health professional is that it’s literally their job to reserve judgment and guide you toward what’s best for you. Whatever your decision, keep in mind that people’s resistance to your pursuit of mental health typically comes from their own fears: If you’re in therapy, it must mean they should be too. Or if you’re in therapy, you’ll change in a way that makes you less willing to be friends (or romantic partners) with them. Therapy simply allows it to happen with less trauma. While therapy can help remove the wool from your eyes, it won’t create problems where there were none to begin with. If you (rationally) determine you’re not in the right place—career-wise, romance-wise, or otherwise—congratulations! You’ve just identified a buried source of suffering. And by clarifying the origin(s) of your distress, you’re that much closer to living an authentically happy life. The most common types of therapy include cognitive behavioral, psychodynamic, family, and group. Whether you’re looking for a quick(ish) fix to a bad habit, anxiety issue, or phobia, or you’re just interested in some serious soul-searching (“What’s my life’s purpose?” “Why do I keep doing ____ in romantic relationships?”) there’s a therapy that’s waiting for you. Therapy isn’t supposed to eradicate all sadness, anger, frustration, or other negative emotions (envy, embarrassment, self-doubt, etc.). And thank goodness! Because often those tough emotions serve as an internal cue—if you’re listening. That’s where therapy comes in. It’s there to help you learn how to sit with, accept, and not be debilitated by these feelings—all while cultivating self-awareness. The result? You’ll be able to tune in and make choices that make the most sense for you. Rather than achieving perpetual bliss, the end result of therapy is to confidently navigate your life off the proverbial couch.” Also there are many excuses people will make to avoid or get out of therapy. I don’t have the time or money is a big one. What’s more, there are many free or low-cost support options, from hot lines to help groups. Those interested can visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness’s website for more resources. You can also check with your health care insurer to find a professional in your network, or search for practitioners in your area online. Or, if you’re a student, contact your campus health center. “Keep in mind that it’s important to find a therapist you “click” with. Often, this can mean trying out a few different providers before settling on the one who feels right for you. Therapy isn’t just for moments of earth-shattering personal tragedies. It can also be useful in reorienting yourself toward your true wants and needs, training yourself in the art of self-compassion, and better understanding, respecting, and communicating your feelings. And—surprise—it’s often easier to pursue these goals when you’re not wrestling bigger, darker obstacles. So consider this your permission to give therapy a try, even if your life is going hunky-dory. Your future self may just look back and say, “Thanks!”

#therapy #mentalhealth #blog

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snowindry · 6 years ago

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Michiru is a Bad Bitch (TM) and is a rly powerful esper/telepath. She’s probably a little god mod-y but she values her freedom to do what she wants more than anything so she isn’t rly flashy and sticks to business type crimes in the black market/yakuza types working as a consultant/informant. Fun fact- Sachi gets her ridic big curls from her but Michiru hates them and is always using her powers to straighten her hair. When she goes all out her eyes glow and her hair poofs back out. Kuroyoru is the Daddy. I actually have designs for his parents too lol. He’s ... ya. U can look at him and see lol. He has a nightmare quirk and if he looks at someone in the eyes he knows their worst nightmare and can make smoke that acts as a hallucinogen when inhaled and Fucks You Up Bad. His antlers are the storage and they disappear as he uses the quirk. If he uses too much he has to naturally build them back before use again. Kurogiri is his big bro.Big ol’ dump of my BNHA OCs!!! I get too into genealogy of quirks so Haruka and Sachi have parents lol

More about everyone under the cut <3

Sachi Nakano: (Neutral Good) her hero name is “empathy”. Quirk: Psychoanalysis (can sense people’s feelings/absorb them. The stronger the feeling is, the better she can sense it. [ex: if she's in a crowd of people and everyone is feeling normal things, but one person is very anxious/excited bc they are about to detonate a bomb, she would be drawn to that person and could pinpoint them] she can almost psychically read what the feeling is, like for a weak feeling if someone in class is a little sad, she could accurately say, “oh did you get in a fight with a friend?” and if it's a strong feeling, she can almost relive the memory of the feeling from the person, getting a lot of details. she dislikes crowds/events with a lot of feeling [concerts, sports events, rallies, etc] bc she gets overwhelmed and may have a panic attack/faint feeling everyone's strong emotions. If it's a normal crowd, she's fine, but she has chronic migraines due to her quirk. To change someone’s feelings she has to absorb them into herself. To do this, she has to be feeling what she WANTS the other person to feel. [if someone is angry and she's angry, she can't make them be calm] basically she swaps. The stronger the emotion she absorbs, the more energy it takes and she sometimes will faint. It takes a lot of self managing/care to be able to have a calm attitude in battle etc Also, the more she’s around someone the easier she can pinpoint that person based on their feelings/aura. Also Also, she has to be touching the person to switch, and can only sense people within a 50 ft radius. The closer she is the better she’s able to sense them. Can release weak “psychic” waves to slightly alter multiple people’s mood in a 10 ft radius. Stronger on ppl closest to her and wears off after a few minutes. Not super useful aside from stealth.

Sachi’s Villain parents: Michiru (Lawful Evil) is a Bad Bitch (TM) and is a rly powerful esper/telepath. She’s probably a little god mod-y but she values her freedom to do what she wants more than anything so she isn’t rly flashy and sticks to business type crimes in the black market/yakuza types working as a consultant/informant. Fun fact- Sachi gets her ridic big curls from her but Michiru hates them and is always using her powers to straighten her hair. When she goes all out her eyes glow and her hair poofs back out. Kuroyoru (was True Neutral prior to meeting Michiru but is now Neutral Evil) has a nightmare quirk and if he looks at someone in the eyes he knows their worst nightmare and can make smoke that acts as a hallucinogen when inhaled and Fucks You Up Bad. His antlers are the storage and they disappear as he uses the quirk. If he uses too much he has to naturally build them back before use again. Kurogiri is his big bro!

Mood/Moodstone: She is a very famous celebrity/fashion blogger/model/designer (LOL). Mood dyes her hair at least 1-2 times a month and also has a plethora of wigs. Color changes are part of her brand after all. In the full body- she’s wearing some of her brands casual wear. The sequin/ombré patterns are her icon basically and is modeled after her eyes, which are always moving kinda like a glass of sparkly glitter and clouds (anime eyes in action). Her mood colors are yet to be defined by me but some of them are: blue is the default (like mood rings) and are content, red is mad, pink is love, white is fear, Black is stress. She can also see auras of people with the same colors denoting feelings. It can get muddled if there’s crowds. She got famous by her eyes and posting them online with her fashion blogs as a student. She’s into activism and social justice and often critiques the structure of a hero’s society (but not to like a Stain level, although surprisingly she has a lot of the same fans. She’s real popular w the teens/YA). Always has shades to protect her privacy/others privacy.

Haruka Namimura: (Chaotic Good) Pro-Hero from UA! She’s a recent grad who works under Selkie. her quirk is shark attributes and strength, but she also turns into a shark mermaid (think like, way more shark than human- kinda like the mermaids in HP lol. I’m not great at drawing animals/monsters...) when she is fully immersed in water.

Haruka’s normie moms: Jozumi (Chaotic Neutral) is a very femme lady who was sadly bullied a lot growing up for her looks. She works from home part-time and is a house wife the rest of her time. She never wanted to be a hero, she is quite bashful and doesn’t like attention, but loves dressing up and cute things. Kyoko (Neutral Neutral) has a mermaid quirk similar to Haruka, when she’s fully submerged she goes full mermaid. She also never wanted to be a hero and uses her quirk at work in underwater construction/repair. She’s gentle and softspoken, but she has a rough past and was in a girl gang in high school! She is super embarrassed to admit it but she used to work as a mermaid in an aquarium in college.

#bnha oc #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia oc #oc #original character #snowsart

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daveywankenobie · 5 years ago

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It’s 2am and my mind is racing.

I can’t sleep – and in any normal blog this would be the point where people would probably roll their eyes and say ‘he’s overthinking everything because it’s Friday and he has to weigh in tomorrow.’

However it’s not a normal blog. Nothing about anything is normal any more and I find that my mind has begun quietly screaming in silence as I’ve slowly watched things begin to turn both inside out and upside down around me.

I’ve internalised my feelings so much more than I have for many years lately because it’s been necessary. I can’t write with honesty and expose the lives and personal problems of others – and for the last two months this has largely been my issue.

Around the time I stopped writing (an unfathomable month and a half ago) a person close to me (not my partner) suffered a serious medical event that has had far reaching and long term consequences for their life.

They’ve moved from being independent to dependant practically overnight – and to see the deterioration whilst they fought to survive in hospital for two weeks was heartbreaking.

This was not just because of the pain and discomfort that they were experiencing at the time, but the emotional torment that it caused, both to them and those that care about them.

I started losing sleep almost immediately – and I’m not sure I’ve managed to sleep properly since.

Now in any normal blog this would be the root of my trauma, I’d talk through my feelings around how worried I am about them, why it’s meant I can’t talk, and why it’s de-railed my eating (which it has).

Biscuits have been a thing. I’m not going to lie.

Like I said though – these aren’t normal times in which we live and a sudden impulse to indulge in snacks seems to be relatively insignificant – because this person is not just gravely ill now – they’re classified as someone with a ‘significant underlying health condition‘.

With the last two months heralding the arrival of Covid 19 and the world turning upside down this person is also no longer the only and most significant thing I have to worry about.

Since I last wrote, pubs, clubs, restaurants, bars, cinemas, and leisure centres have all been told to close down.

All of a sudden there are people I love with ‘significant underlying health conditions’ all around me – and they all have to self isolate for 12 weeks.

Furthermore in our suddenly virus obsessed world people with a persistent dry cough and a fever have to self isolate for seven days – and anyone in their immediate household for must do so for 14 so they they don’t pass on the infection on to others.

I’m in a bizarre reality now where it’s a worry to myself and my brother that my 80 year old father is taking public transport to a launderette to do his washing.

The television and radio are drip feeds of fear and I’m not ashamed to say that I’m terrified for what this could mean for myself and those I love.

Day to day I manage to hold it together and I do my job – but when I get home things are different. My partner can see it in my eyes just as I can see the weight of it all in hers. We’ve been sinking into each others arms for increasingly long hugs filled with sighs and occasionally tears too.

I’ve moved from what seemed like relatively minor worries about not having a career or working direction in life to getting a temp job in early January which now (in mid March) places me on the government’s ‘key worker’ list.

This is because my new job (although I never said at the time) happened to be a supporting role for the NHS.

I’m far away from front line that all of the doctors and nurses are on – but I’m close enough to them to get a sense of the scale of what is unfolding in the UK. Like me they’re nervous about what it means for the coming weeks and months as well as what the cost will be for their families, loved ones and personally.

There’s no hand sanitiser left in the world – and even if there was it probably wouldn’t matter.

On top of this the (surprisingly large number of people) I know who are suffering from ‘underlying health issues’ have almost overnight become ghosts and now I have an insight into what’s developing I fear for their wellbeing like I never have in the past.

In our developed and modern world we’ve been in control for so long – and now it seems like that (illusion?) is slipping.

All of a suddenly (if like me you try to shop after work) every shelf in every supermarket is empty – and even the most basic items are now seemingly out of reach to normal working people.

Furthermore they are fighting over toilet roll – and it makes my blood boil when every day when I walk past Aldi on the way to work at 8.30am I see people pushing trollies containing nothing but four packs of 12 roll toilet paper.

Who seriously needs 48 toilet rolls?!!!

It’s darkly comical that in a world where every breath we take contains the possibility of ingesting a potentially lethal virus we seem to be far more concerned about being unable to wipe our asses.

The memes are everywhere – and yet I’ve found it hard to laugh at the humour of it all.

Almost overnight (relatively speaking) I’ve moved from someone who usually wears his heart on his sleeve to being someone increasingly quiet and with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I know I’m not alone in this.

As social media organises itself around the problem of sudden and enforced isolation for the majority of the population I’ve seen the words ‘looking after your mental health’ again and again wherever I look online.

There are tips for staying fit and healthy, ideas about how to cope if you’re struggling with the enormity of Covid 19 and online sessions where people are forming choirs, orchestras, self help groups.

There are now and even online weigh ins.

You know it’s serious when Slimming World cancels all groups.

I’ve been off plan for two months now and in this respect things have not gone well diet wise. Loads of bad habits that I thought were gone forever have crept back in and I’m struggling to eat properly.

It doesn’t help when there’s absolutely no fresh food in the shops – but I’d be lying if I said that the sole reason I’m not coping with my food demons.

It’s comfort eating, plain and simple.

The mad thing is that this (a situation that would have filled me with a sense of personal failure in the past) is so far down the list of identifiable concerns in my life that it practically doesn’t even register.

I’m walking to work (I still need to go in to the office) along increasingly empty roads, on ever more silent pavements and the people I’d slowly begun to recognise every morning have withdrawn from sight.

The elderly Sikh lady I with oddly bright and clean trainers I passed daily down the road from her temple (presumably on the way to help or pray) is now gone.

The man in a high visibility jacket who rolled past me on his mountain bike always looking hung over near Sainsburys every morning is no longer there.

The student who was always smiling to herself whilst listening to her tunes that I passed by the recycling centre is now no longer walking to college with her brightly coloured blue laniard and badge.

The father and his son who every day sported a cheerful orange anorak (and is always in deep conversation with his dad) no longer walk hand in hand together along the road by the guide dogs for the blind.

The lady by the pub who always seems late and rushes past me to open her garage to get her little red car out is no longer turning the key in her lock.

The girl who stands by her garden wall near my house in a school uniform texting her friends as she waits for them is absent.

There are some people – but the faces I know are gone.

When I get to work there’s often barely anyone around – and I’m now sitting in a small room largely on my own (with occasional visitors) and working on the phone to try and help people who are just as worried and preoccupied as I am.

One area that I’m sure I’m not alone in though saying that I don’t know how to process what’s happening.

My partner is a teacher – and every single day that I’ve watched her leave for work recently (until yesterday when all the schools were closed to everyone but children of key workers) I’ve done so with a sense of dread and worry.

Five years ago I was alone, drunk, morbidly obese and flushing my life down the toilet. I didn’t have any fear of loss because I was certain I’d die through my own selfish and self destructive hand before anyone I loved.

Now that’s almost certainly not going to be true – and in the coming weeks things may well happen to reverse that stupid assumption in ways I could never have imagined back then.

Furthermore the spectre of my mother’s death suddenly looms large.

She passed away fighting for breath as her lungs filled with fluid – suffering from the side effects of chronic smoking.

Her hospital was calm, organised, well equipped and (despite what we may expect given political rhetoric about pressures on the NHS) well staffed and resourced.

She had a room to herself and the nurses caring for her appeared to be busy – but used to and capable of managing their workloads. They were able to respond to changes in her condition, and (somewhat amazingly) kept her alive much longer than I expected them to.

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If what’s happening in Italy is going to happen here then we can expect a lot of very different outcomes and radically different care situations not just for people like her but everyone that needs support.

My primal fear of suffocation is (and has been for a few years) now inextricably linked to how she passed away – and the distress that I witnessed in her as she fought to breathe with her oxygen cylinders has never really left me.

Now it’s all back in my mind – because it’s on the horizon once more.

It’s real – and whilst I want to sit down and blog about positive things at the moment I just can’t.

I’m sorry.

I just need to start writing again, now more than ever – and share that I am struggling just like everyone else, but trying to find a way to cope. I want to reach out to the world once again and begin to talk openly about what’s going on inside my head, because it might help someone else as much as it helps me.

As we become more and more physically distant whilst we lock our doors and move into quarantine we must (as much as humanly possible) remain close and look after one another.

Plus – I’d like to finally blog at some point in the increasingly near future about the reality of what happens when the apocalypse arrives and there’s only one sheet of Andrex left.

Let’s face it – the puppy is soft, absorbent, loves to play in the shower and is infinitely re-usable. Furthermore if you have one with a darker coat (especially a puppy that doesn’t moult) then it’s practically the perfect crime.

So I guess I’ll leave you all (with a no doubt delightful) mental image there. It’s now 5 am and I’m no closer to being able to sleep – so I’m going to play a video game.

Part of me feels better for writing all of this down but I know there’s a lot more to come in the days, weeks and months ahead and I’m probably going to get deeper as time goes on.

I want you all to stay safe, stay healthy, and keep going – if only for the purely selfish reason that it would be nice to have someone left to read what I write when the dust settles and life eventually begins to return to normal.

Keep yourselves safe.

Davey

Use the puppy It's 2am and my mind is racing. I can't sleep - and in any normal blog this would be the point where people would probably roll their eyes and say 'he's overthinking everything because it's Friday and he has to weigh in tomorrow.'

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polishandpaperbacks · 5 years ago

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Today on the blog I have an excerpt from Tweet Cute, which releases today!!!!! Here’s a little summary of what this story is about.

Meet Pepper, swim team captain, chronic overachiever, and all-around perfectionist. Her family may be falling apart, but their massive fast-food chain is booming — mainly thanks to Pepper, who is barely managing to juggle real life while secretly running Big League Burger’s massive Twitter account.

Enter Jack, class clown and constant thorn in Pepper’s side. When he isn’t trying to duck out of his obscenely popular twin’s shadow, he’s busy working in his family’s deli. His relationship with the business that holds his future might be love/hate, but when Big League Burger steals his grandma’s iconic grilled cheese recipe, he’ll do whatever it takes to take them down, one tweet at a time.

All’s fair in love and cheese — that is, until Pepper and Jack’s spat turns into a viral Twitter war. Little do they know, while they’re publicly duking it out with snarky memes and retweet battles, they’re also falling for each other in real life — on an anonymous chat app Jack built.

As their relationship deepens and their online shenanigans escalate — people on the internet are shipping them?? — their battle gets more and more personal, until even these two rivals can’t ignore they were destined for the most unexpected, awkward, all-the-feels romance that neither of them expected.

And now onto the excerpt. Enjoy!

JACK

“Look.” I glance into the classroom, where Ethan is thoroughly distracted by Stephen and no longer keeping an eye on us. “I may have . . . overreacted.”

Pepper shakes her head. “I told you. I get it. It’s your family.”

“Yeah. But it’s also—well, to be honest, this has been kind of good for business.”

Pepper’s brow furrows, that one little crease returning. “What, the tweets?”

“Yeah.” I scratch the back of my neck, sheepish. “Actually, we had a line out the door yesterday. It was kind of intense.”

“That’s . . . that’s good, right?”

The tone of my voice is clearly not matching up with the words I’m saying, but if I’m being honest, I’m still wary of this whole overnight business boom. And if I’m being honest, I’m even more wary of Pepper. If this really is as much of a family business as she claims it is—to the point where she’s helping run the Twitter handle, when even I know enough about corporate Twitter accounts to know entire teams of experienced people get paid to do that—then she might have had more of a hand in this whole recipe theft thing than she’s letting on.

The fact of the matter is, I can’t trust her. To the point of not knowing whether I can even trust her knowing how our business is doing, or just how badly we need it.

“Yeah, um, I guess.” I try to make it sound noncommittal. My acting skills, much like my breakfast-packing skills, leave much to be desired.

“So . . .”

“So.”

Pepper presses her lips into a thin line, a question in her eyes.

“So, I guess—if your mom really wants you to keep tweeting . . .”

“Wait. Yesterday you were pissed. Two minutes ago you were pissed.”

“I am pissed. You stole from us,” I reiterate. “You stole from an eighty-five-year-old woman.”

“I didn’t—”

“Yeah, yeah, but still. You’re them, and I’m . . . her. It’s like a choose your fighter situation, and we just happen to be the ones up to bat.”

“So you’re saying—you don’t not want me to keep this up?”

“The way I see it, you don’t have to make your mom mad, and we get a few more customers in the door too.”

Pepper takes a breath like she’s going to say something, like she’s going to correct me, but after a moment, she lets it go. Her face can’t quite settle on an expression, toeing the line between dread and relief.

“You’re sure?”

I answer by opening the container she handed me. The smell that immediately wafts out of it should honestly be illegal; it stops kids I’ve never even spoken to in their tracks.

“Are you a witch?” I ask, reaching in and taking a bite of one. It’s like Monster Cake, the Sequel—freaking Christmas in my mouth. I already want more before I’ve even managed to chew. My eyes close as if I’m experiencing an actual drug high—and maybe I am, because I forget myself entirely and say, “This might even be better than our Kitchen Sink Macaroons.”

“Kitchen Sink Macaroons?”

Eyes open again. Yikes. Note to self: dessert is the greatest weapon in Pepper’s arsenal. I swallow my bite so I can answer her.

“It’s kind of well-known, at least in the East Village. It even got in some Hub Seed roundup once. I’d tell you to try some, but you might steal the recipe, so.”

Pepper smiles, then—actually smiles, instead of the little smirk she usually does. It’s not startling, but what it does to me in that moment kind of is.

Before I can examine the unfamiliar lurch in my stomach, the bell rings and knocks the smile right off her face. I follow just behind her, wondering why it suddenly seems too hot in here, like they cranked the air up for December instead of October. I dismiss it by the time I get to my desk—probably just all the Twitter drama and the glory of So Sorry Blondies getting to my head.

“One rule,” she says, as we sit in the last two desks in the back of the room.

I raise my eyebrows at her.

“We don’t take any of it personally.” She leans forward on her desk, leveling with me, her bangs falling into her face. “No more getting mad at each other. Cheese and state.”

“What happens on Twitter stays on Twitter,” I say with a nod of agreement. “Okay, then, second rule: no kid gloves.”

Mrs. Fairchild is giving that stern look over the room that never quite successfully quiets anyone down. Pepper frowns, waiting for me to elaborate.

“I mean—no going easy on each other. If we’re going to play at this, we’re both going to give it our A game, okay? No holding back because we’re . . .”

Friends, I almost say. No, I’m going to say. But then—

“I’d appreciate it if even one of you acknowledged the bell with your silence,” Mrs. Fairchild grumbles.

I turn to Pepper, expecting to find her snapping to attention the way she always does when an adult comes within a hundred feet of disciplining her. But her eyes are still intent on me, like she is sizing something up—like she’s looking forward to something I haven’t anticipated yet.

“All right. No taking it personally. And no holding back.”

She holds her hand out for me to shake again, under the desk so Mrs. Fairchild won’t see it. I smile and shake my head, wondering how someone can be so aggressively seventeen and seventy-five at the same time, and then I take it. Her hand is warm and small in mine, but her grip is surprisingly firm, with a pressure that almost feels like she’s still got her fingers wrapped around mine even after we let go.

I turn back to the whiteboard, a ghost of a smirk on my face. “Let the games begin.”

Emma Lord is a digital media editor and writer living in New York City, where she spends whatever time she isn’t writing either running or belting show tunes in community theater. She graduated from the University of Virginia with a major in psychology and a minor in how to tilt your computer screen so nobody will notice you updating your fan fiction from the back row. She was raised on glitter, grilled cheese, and a whole lot of love. Her sun sign is Hufflepuff, but she is a Gryffindor rising. TWEET CUTE is her debut novel. You can find her geeking out online at @dilemmalord on Twitter.

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thenatureofpages · 5 years ago

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Tweet Cute: An Absolutely Adorable Rom-Com for the Ages

*Disclaimer: I received this book as an ARC courtesy of both St. Martin’s in exchange for participating in the blog tour.

Tweet Cute by Emma Lord

A Non-Spoilery Review by The Nature of Pages

Genre: YA Contemporary

Favorite Quote(s):

Pepper smiles, then—actually smiles, instead of the little smirk she usually does. It’s not startling, but what it does to me in that moment kind of is.

Before I can examine the unfamiliar lurch in my stomach, the bell rings and knocks the smile right off her face.

Synopsis:

Rating: 5 Stars

What Made This Book Unique:

Where do I even start? The fast-paced banter of the characters, the incredible twitter war, from start to end this book is a rom-com for the ages.

Okay, buckle in because not only was this one of my favorite reads of the year, this is one of my favorite reads of all time. *fangirls screeches*

The characters. The characters. Holy cow, everyone, I was rooting for the characters from page one. Pepper, type A perfectionist is so incredibly easy to relate to, from her desire to keep everything under control to the cute baking moments we get to see. She’s also a blogger, so that’s super neat! Books with bloggers in them are my weakness.

Our favorite soft class clown boy Jack is so easy to find adorable, y’all. He’s genuinely funny and had me laughing out loud as I read his sections. The internal sarcastic comments we get from his point of view are so great – it’s a battle of wits with these two.

Also, they’re all Hufflepuffs??? Can we all screech heck yes in unison?!

I’m such an absolute dork for this book that I actually had the opportunity to interview the author herself, Emma Lord!

Our new writing royalty herself!

Hi, Emma! Thank you so much for letting me ask you a few questions!

Q: Did the plot or the characters come to you first when writing this novel?

A: This one was an odd one for me because the plot came LONG before the characters, in the form of a tweet I made in 2017 joking that there should be a rom-com about social media managers from warring fast food chains falling in love. Usually I’ll think of a character first and build plot around them, but I had to go through about five iterations of characters before landing on Pepper and Jack.

Q: What was your favorite part about the process of writing Tweet Cute?

A: For sure writing with my friends! We try to meet up once a week and are constantly bopping around in the group chat. I wrote Tweet Cute in a month and a half while holding down a full-time job, so my brain was basically just leaking memes by the end of it, but those sessions we spent writing in coffee shops after work were my best memories of the process.

Q: As a debut author, what was a surprise when it came to writing your book?

Uh, people READING it. That was profoundly surprising to me. Like, logistically you understand that people are going to read it if it’s getting published, but usually I’ll write something, stick it on a fan fiction platform anonymously, and that’ll be the end of it. I’m still not over the surprise any time someone reads the book and tags me in something about it!

As you can see, Emma Lord is not only a fantastically wonderful writer, she’s also incredibly sweet! Make sure to check my Twitter (@natureofpages) as the month goes on – I’ll be reposting other blog posts with her other interviews as they get posted!

Hopefully by now, you’re as excited to read this book as I was, so here’s a sneak peak!

JACK

“Look.” I glance into the classroom, where Ethan is thoroughly distracted by Stephen and no longer keeping an eye on us. “I may have . . . overreacted.”

Pepper shakes her head. “I told you. I get it. It’s your family.”

“Yeah. But it’s also—well, to be honest, this has been kind of good for business.”

Pepper’s brow furrows, that one little crease returning. “What, the tweets?”

“Yeah.” I scratch the back of my neck, sheepish. “Actually, we had a line out the door yesterday. It was kind of intense.”

“That’s . . . that’s good, right?”

The fact of the matter is, I can’t trust her. To the point of not knowing whether I can even trust her knowing how our business is doing, or just how badly we need it.

“Yeah, um, I guess.” I try to make it sound noncommittal. My acting skills, much like my breakfast-packing skills, leave much to be desired.

“So . . .”

“So.”

Pepper presses her lips into a thin line, a question in her eyes.

“So, I guess—if your mom really wants you to keep tweeting . . .”

“Wait. Yesterday you were pissed. Two minutes ago you were pissed.”

“I am pissed. You stole from us,” I reiterate. “You stole from an eighty-five-year-old woman.”

“I didn’t—”

“Yeah, yeah, but still. You’re them, and I’m . . . her. It’s like a choose your fighter situation, and we just happen to be the ones up to bat.”

“So you’re saying—you don’t not want me to keep this up?”

“The way I see it, you don’t have to make your mom mad, and we get a few more customers in the door too.”

“You’re sure?”

I answer by opening the container she handed me. The smell that immediately wafts out of it should honestly be illegal; it stops kids I’ve never even spoken to in their tracks.

“Kitchen Sink Macaroons?”

Eyes open again. Yikes. Note to self: dessert is the greatest weapon in Pepper’s arsenal. I swallow my bite so I can answer her.

“It’s kind of well-known, at least in the East Village. It even got in some Hub Seed roundup once. I’d tell you to try some, but you might steal the recipe, so.”

Pepper smiles, then—actually smiles, instead of the little smirk she usually does. It’s not startling, but what it does to me in that moment kind of is.

“One rule,” she says, as we sit in the last two desks in the back of the room.

I raise my eyebrows at her.

“We don’t take any of it personally.” She leans forward on her desk, leveling with me, her bangs falling into her face. “No more getting mad at each other. Cheese and state.”

“What happens on Twitter stays on Twitter,” I say with a nod of agreement. “Okay, then, second rule: no kid gloves.”

Mrs. Fairchild is giving that stern look over the room that never quite successfully quiets anyone down. Pepper frowns, waiting for me to elaborate.

“I mean—no going easy on each other. If we’re going to play at this, we’re both going to give it our A game, okay? No holding back because we’re . . .”

Friends, I almost say. No, I’m going to say. But then—

“I’d appreciate it if even one of you acknowledged the bell with your silence,” Mrs. Fairchild grumbles.

“All right. No taking it personally. And no holding back.”

I turn back to the whiteboard, a ghost of a smirk on my face. “Let the games begin.”

*flails* AAAAHHHHH so many feels just from that snippet alone!

Tweet Cute is such an adorable cute rom-com, full of witty banter, spectacular characters, a ship name to die for, and a hilarious Twitter war! I, for one, will be heading to the book store the day it comes out and already can’t wait for the next Emma Lord book!

Tweet Cute by Emma Lord is hitting the shelves on January 21st, 2020!

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#IFTTT #WordPress

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groovyfacecollectionblog-blog · 7 years ago

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Pros and Cons Should My Teen Work During High School

Pros and Cons: Should My Teen Work During High School?

Student-Tutor Blog

Updated on April 20, 2016.

Growing up, the only time I ever heard the words “allowance” were when they came out of my friends’ or their parents’ mouths.

Having two siblings before me who had gone through the same channels, it didn’t come as a surprise to me when my parents let me know I would have to start looking for a job. I was a part-time cashier and barista for both my junior and senior year of high school.

There’s definitely two distinct sides to the argument of whether or not your teen should work during high school, and looking back on it I can draw both pros and cons from my own experience.

Pros of working in high school

As of October 2014…Youth enrolled in high school had an employment rate of 18 percent.

The following are different skills and attitudes that students can obtain early on from working in high school.

1. Gain Interpersonal and Communication Skills

Knowing how to effectively communicate and work with others towards a common goal is essential to success in any business environment.

While in most jobs it is essential that you have a pre-determined degree of knowledge, technical expertise and skill, without interpersonal skills you certainly will struggle with those all-important relationships. These struggles can negatively impact your career as well as your ability to function as part of a team. Most jobs today require that you be able to engage others, both internally and externally and it’s your social skills that can make all the difference.

In most jobs, you will be one member of a team. Whether this be your coworkers, or your employees, you will need to utilize interpersonal communication skills both to preserve the harmony of the workplace and to ensure that you reach your goals and objectives.

2. Build your resume early on

For most people, their first job will be something part-time and unspecialized. This is because in high school, most of us have little to nothing to put on our resumes that would qualify as actual work experience.

A lot of high schoolers will have jobs as babysitters, fast-food and grocery cashiers, delivery men and women for restaurants, etc. These types of jobs usually pay minimum wage, and rarely require a college degree (hence the reason high schoolers apply to them).

However, these are still real jobs with real pay, and your student can put them on their resumes. That can make a world of difference when it comes to applying to a more specialty job later on, because future employers will see:

Your student held a position for a certain amount of time

Your student has experience working with others in a professional environment

3. Develop a work ethic

Taking pride in what you do is a big part of success.

In a surprisingly profound speech at the 2013 Teen Choice Awards, Ashton (Kris) Kutcher highlights 3 key ideologies for teens to follow in life.

In one of my favorite lines of the speech, Ashton makes another point about having a strong work ethic.

I never had a job in my life that I was better than… Opportunities look a lot like work.

Your teen may not be passionate about selling frozen yogurt, or selling discount retail, but they can still draw from the benefits of doing their jobs well.

Working their way upwards towards better things is a humbling experience that can help your teen appreciate and excel in future jobs.

4. Learn the value of a dollar

Your high schooler approaches you in their graduation cap and gown, a diploma in one hand. They flash you a big smile and wrap their arms around you and say “Thanks for everything!”

Everyone works — it’s a part of life. But more often than not, the only way for someone to truly understand what it means to spend a lot or a little money is by earning money themselves.

It’s not just about your teen recognizing the sacrifices YOU’VE made for them, but them understanding how to be smart about what they spend and knowing that money is earned, not granted.

5. Time Management

I’m a full-time college student with 2 jobs. I can honestly say if I hadn’t learned how to manage my time effectively early in life, I would not be able to handle 18 credits on top of 30-40 hours a week — and that’s not including my social life!

Part of growing up is having a schedule and staying on top of it. By taking a job in high school, your teen can get a feel for what that is like before they hit college. As a result, they may be able to take on more responsibilities and credit hours, and experience the benefits of both!

Cons of working in high school

1. Increased stress

High school can be a very stressful time in itself. There is a lot of pressure for high school students to excel academically, and with college admissions seeming more competitive than ever, many students feel they must go above and beyond to even have a chance at getting accepted.

“What I did was cut out sleep… I had kind of a panic attack in spring of junior year. I honest to God went into therapy to work on my anxiety about the math, because for the amount I worked, my score should have been higher.”

With so much stress already placed on high schoolers to succeed in their courses and exams, adding 20 hours a week of dealing with difficult customers and juggling responsibilities could tip things over the edge.

Worse, stress is proven to have lasting effects on our health.

In the short term it can cause anxiety; over long periods of time, elevated levels of stress hormones can degrade the immune system, cause heart problems, exacerbate respiratory and gastrointestinal issues, and bring on chronic anxiety and depression.

2. Distraction from academics

Even after the last customer finished their meal and left for the night, I was the one who had to vacuum and mop the floors, clean the booths, and prep for the next day’s rush of hungry people.

Staying late at work meant I wasn’t at home studying for exams, or reviewing math problems I didn’t understand. It also meant that the next day, I was tired and arguably less focused on the new material I was learning in class.

3. Cutting childhood short

For most of us, once we start working, we will work for the rest of our lives. High school is a confusing time wedged in-between the last of one’s childhood and the beginnings of one’s adulthood.

At 21 years old, it’s hard for me to remember the last time I woke up without obligations for the day, the week, the month, the year. And sometimes I do wonder about how it would have felt to have had just a couple more years of freedom before I started “adulting”.

Student Sarah Rodeo from the article I quoted earlier has a similar notion about spending all her time securing her position at an elite university in high school.

“I’m still not sure how I feel about using all that time prepping instead of playing the piano, playing with my little brother and sister, or seeing my friends.”

How to decide

All of the following are questions you should ask before encouraging your high schooler to take a job:

Does your student want to work?

What’s their current stress level?

What’s the need?

Is the job in line with their future career/will help them get there?

Conclusion

As you have seen, there are both things to be gained and potential consequences from having a job in high school. To review, here were the pros and cons we discussed:

Gain interpersonal and communication skills

Build your resume early on

Develop a work ethic

Learn the value of a dollar

Time Management

Increased stress

Distraction from academics

Cutting childhood short

Does your high schooler have a job? How has it helped or challenged them? Tell us about it in the comments below!