#for real though something about looking at someone and realising theyre tired

[pacifymebby]

[unicyclehippo]

idk if this is the kind of prompt you were looking for but maybe a take on beau never joins the m9 and the first time they meet her is when she's an expositor and how they react to her saving them from something

maybe not what u wanted , but all i could think about

//

The time they were given, left to wait in the antechamber of the castle, was enough to catch their breath but not nearly long enough to recover or start that process, so it is still bruised and bloodied that they follow the Marshal into the throne room.

The chamber is grand. Far beyond anything their patchwork party has ever seen before. It is comparable in size, in grandeur to the Bright Queen’s throne room, except that where her space had been a clear, clean, shattered prism of crystal and a pure but cold light, here is all severe grey stone, heavy and firm, and stained glass. The pretty colours do nothing to mellow the space; if anything, all the windows do is highlight how dizzyingly tall the ceiling of the chamber is as they stretch higher and higher.

Their boots tap against stone. Echo in the vast space around them. The Nein walk across, through, the scored lines of light that burn from those windows across the floor.

Ahead of them rides a great set of stairs that honestly, at this point, just feels like torture. They’re beat to shit. They’re tired. They don’t want to do this. If they’re gonna be killed, the King could at least have the decency to not make them climb a hundred steps first.

The Marshal nods them forward, expression brooking no disagreement.

‘I wish—I had died,’ Fjord groans, quietly. He’s panting as he climbs. ‘Honestly, if I have to—oh god—climb another step, I’m gonna throw myself—ha—down them.’

Jester grips his hand hard. Struggles for a smile, but with each step she’s losing her breath and it has less to do with exertion and far more to do with the fear squeezing her heart as the heads and shoulders and cool faces of the Council start to show above the platform.

A man with shoulder length hair and a long, thin goatee, both streaked with grey sits upon his throne, wooden and backed with an immensely tall and ornately carved back. The man looks to once have been fit and strong but now, in perhaps his early sixties, the muscle he had built has gone soft. There is nothing soft in the way he stares at them, cuts suspicious stares down over each of them in turn—lingering on Fjord, on Jester and Molly, on Nott. He is the King, and Jester thinks she would have known that even without the circlet that rests upon his head.

The names and faces of the remainder of the Council blur, all of them imposing, none of them welcoming. Jester searches their number for something, anythjng to focus on, as Caduceus begins to talk and panics, and as Fjord takes over, smooth and calm. No sign of the panic Jester knows he must be feeling.

It is when the Martinet steps forward that Jester sees her.

Seated behind the Martinet is a young human woman, not much older than Jester if at all, with dark skin and dark hair, which she wears pulled back into a handsome top knot and the sides shaved. Fine robes cover her clothes; they are similar to what the Martinet wears, but far less adorned. Which is not to say that she doesn’t shine at all—there is a small mantle of office draped across her shoulders, plain in comparison but still weighty, and gold glints in several places on her ears. Her face is handsome, though more stern than Jester would expect to see on someone so young, and unmarred save for a scar that cuts deep into her brow, dividing it into uneven parts.

She must feel Jester’s attention on her because suddenly blue eyes are fixed on her in turn and Jester can do nothing but stand still, stuck in place not because of this stupid terrifying audience with the King of the Empire, but by the powerful force of this stranger’s attention. She looks over Jester as though she can see into her, as though Jester were an open book and she a speed reader—and then her eyes skip up to meet Jester’s again, seemingly for no particular reason, and she smiles.

It’s not much. A flicker of a smile. A smudge of a smile. It isn’t kind, it isn’t sweet, but it is somehow very reassuring.

The smile is gone as quickly as it came and then they are answering a lot of very scary questions like How does the Bright Queen know about you? Why would she care about you? (and Jester does not like the tone of that question, like they’re stupid, or small, or worthless, and How did you know about the cult if you are not a part of it?

Jester’s attention drifts back to the girl. She’s taking notes in a quick hand, has been the whole time—but now her hand is still and poised above the page and she is looking at Yasha of all people with keen interest. What can she see? If she is the Martinet’s assistant, does that mean she’s magical? What does she know about Yasha, about all of them, just by looking?

‘I scried on them,’ Jester blurts. Feels the world spin around her. ‘Mister King? This is a very tall platform, um,’

‘You scried on them?’ the Martinet prompts, before the Kings darkening expression boils over into a storm.

‘Yes. We found a thingy—‘

‘A...thingy.’

Jester swallows hard. ‘A device. That was being used to open portals.’ She tries to remember what Allura and Caleb had told them. ‘They were planting them everywhere to open rifts to the Hells—‘

‘Abyss,’ Fjord coughs.

‘Abyss,’ Jester corrects, voice pitching higher as her heart rattled with nerves. ‘It’s like termites!’

‘Termites,’ the Martinet repeats.

Jester wonders if he has ever had to worry about anything like that, anything as ordinary and mundane and troublesome as termites.

‘Yah. They eat wood? They’re little and white and look a bit like ants,’

‘I know what termites are. I am not in need of a lesson on beetles at this time.’

‘Technically, technically, they’re insects,’

‘Maybe ixnay on the ugbay essonlay,’ Fjord hisses.

‘She’s right.’ The voice comes from behind the Martinet. He turns, brows raised, to the girl taking notes. Her voice is nice, Jester notes. Kinda brash and rough, but warm. She sounds like a real person, like the people they’ve spoken to all over the continent. Not like these polished martinets and kings.

‘Pardon?’

‘Termites. They’re insects, not beetles.’

The Martinet sighs. ‘Yes, very good, thank you Beauregard.’ He turns back to Jester. ‘So, to clarify, you found this device that opened portals to the Abyss in the manner of...a termite?’

Jester thinks about it for a moment. ‘No.’

‘There were many devices,’ Nott interjects. Realises—remembers—too late that she is a goblin. But the King and Martinet are watching her now, so she continues. ‘We found—three? Of them. And there were more we heard about but didn’t see.’

‘With each one that opens, they...undermine the integrity of the planes,’ Jester says, trying to repeat what Allura and Caleb had said.

Up there on the platform, Allura nods encouragingly.

The girl—Beauregard—looks with interest toward the Arcanist, and back at the Nein once more. There’s a thoughtful crease between her brows and she seems to be taking notes in earnest now, though no one is speaking.

‘You said you scried on these people. Would you be able to describe them, beyond the ones you slew?’

Jester licks her lips. Glances across to Fjord who shrugs helplessly. Cad looks like he’s still mid panic attack but she knows his thoughts on it—honestly. Caleb meets her eyes cautiously, careful not to stray sideways to the white haired jaundiced man upon the platform. He nods the smallest amount.

‘I can—we can name one of them. An empire agent who is part of the cult.’

‘Then do so,’ the King commands.

Jester nods to him a few times, fast, jewellery jangling it seems far too loud in her ears. She stills. Feels her attention dragged back to the Martinet and, behind him, the note-taker.

‘Vence Nutheylas.’

Things devolve quickly from there—accusations are thrown at the Nein, at Allura, hinted at the Martinet, Ikithon is a fucking creep, the King makes puppets of the Nein to solve the problem of this war for him. And as they are escorted down and out from the castle and into the light rain of the Shimmer Ward, they pass by a shaded corridor and Jester glimpses the tail of a red cloak. The Martinet, walking briskly down It and away, shadowed by his assistant. Jester can barely hear them, the words echoing down the corridor.

His deep voice is troubled. ‘—and Vence,’ he hisses, groans. ‘And I gave him an amulet. What a fool I am!’

The girl doesn’t disagree. ‘I warned you about him.’

‘I can’t dismiss someone so talented just because you say he’s slimy,’ the Martinet chides, exhausted. Clearly, they have had that discussion before. ‘And these...Mighty Nein? What do you make of them?’

The girl glances back over her shoulder before they turn the corner. Eyes lock once more with Jester’s, who now realises she has slowed to a stop, right in the middle of the corridor.

‘I don’t know,’ she says, thoughtful. Gentle. Not in a soft way, but delicate. Like a hand brushing dirt from a relic, interested in what lays beneath. ‘But I’ll be very interested to find out.’

//

Kamaruth Cottage is lovely. Warm and comfortable.

Something about it rubs Jester the wrong way. Maybe the way it aims for rustic but is far too pristine, too comfortable to really be rustic. Like it’s just pretending. A giant mimic, waiting to gobble them up.

She draws that idly in her notebook as they wait for dinner. A cottage, thatched eyebrows, a giant slobbering tongue as the red carpet leading to the front desk. A dozen window eyes staring.

Maybe it’s the way the theyre given seven rooms. Expected to split up. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

Dinner is a quiet affair. Molly hasn’t let go of Yasha yet, doesn’t let go of her arm even when Fjord trades five hundred gold for a heavy tome he passes to her. They talk some, eat some. Nott drinks. Cad nearly falls asleep in his salad. Eventually, they make their way up to Caleb’s room to talk. To gauge their footing, and what he wants to do next.

For ten full minutes, Caleb passes over the room, taking time to examine it ceiling to floor for any manner of device or trap or something that should not be there. Behind him paces Caduceus, eyes gleaming with the familiar sheen of detect magic. They both turn up nothing.

Caleb sits and scratches at his arms and worries.

‘So,’ Fjord starts them off. ‘Big day, huh. I guess... Welcome back, Yasha.’ Fjord waves a hand toward her, or them, Molly still stuck to her side. Held tight in a hug.

‘Thank you. And... I’m sorry.’

‘I’ll take that apology,’ an unfamiliar voice says—harsh, and harshly amused—from behind them, from the window. Spinnjng, the Nein find that standing there, leaning back with her elbows braced against the sill, aggravatingly nonchalant, is the girl from the throne room. She looks a different without the robe. Smaller, thinner, and all in black and darker blues and greys, but it is unmistakably her.

In their room. Unheard. Unseen.

In the next second, Fjord has crossed the room, conjuring his blade and grasping the long hilt in both hands, pointed to her throat. Yasha has drawn the Judge. A burning of copper fills the room as Molly draws his blade across the skin of his forearm, scimitar lighting with white flame. Nott pulls her crossbow, the wire click, click, clicking as she wrenches it into the ready position.

Caleb just stares.

And Jester, she raises her hands, not sure exactly what she’s going to do when she’s exhausted like this. But if worst comes to worst, she has a hand axe.

‘Planning on killing the Martinet’s auxiliary, are we? Fun times in the Kamaruth Cottage. Didn’t know it was such a fun scene—’

Fjord presses his sword closer until it touches the skin of her throat. Still she just grins, unphased.

‘I don’t know what you think you overheard, but we have no plans on killing anyone,’

‘Maybe Trent,’ Molly hissés behind them all in Infernal.

‘Who doesn’t want to kill Trent?’ the girl answers in common. Ignoring Molly’s shock, she continues, very slowly, very patiently, very patronisingly, ‘The Martinet’s auxiliary is me. In case you didn’t know.’

‘Important position, is it? You’ll be missed, is that what you’re saying?’

‘Not really. To both. Just...letting you know because, and I’m gonna be honest—you seem well out of your fucking depth here.’

‘I don’t like this one,’ Molly decrees, opening in Common, since it seems she can understand his preferred language of disparagement. ‘Not one bit.’

‘I’m heartbroken,’ the girl sneers.

‘What you are is the one at sword point—and I know wizards. We’ve had time to rest now—we could take you.’ Jester winces at Fjord’s tone. Protective, he has gone harsh, gone with a face of stone to cover his shock, to cover their slip in letting her join them unnoticed.

‘This must be real hard for you but I’m gonna need you to use your head. For think-ing.’ She breaks the word apart like it might be too big for him, unfamiliar. ‘Even if you did beat me,’ she says, words drenched in disbelief, ‘there’s a whole city to get out of after that, all riled up after that attack. Whether I’m well-liked or not,’

‘Not.’

‘Missed or not,’ she amends with a shrug, ‘there’d be some real powerful people after your head if you killed me. So. Be smart about this and put. The sword. Away.’

For maybe the first time in his life, Fjord snarls, baring tooth and tusk.

She grins. ‘Is that a no?’

‘It’s a give me one good reason why we should trust you.’

It’s just a gut feeling but Jester doesn’t think that she will.

She watches as the girl tilts her head back almost lazily, before bringing it forward to crack into Fjord’s nose, his forehead. Fjord gets out a stuttering choke and as he stands there stunned, she ducks the sword and slips behind him, punches up the ladder of his spine. Fjord wheezes, breath punched out of him, and staggers around to face her.

By this point, Nott is screaming bloody murder, Caleb’s hand is wreathed in flame, Yasha has the Judge raised in both hands, Molly has both swords lit up, and the girl, Beauregard, is just standing there with her arm around a stunned Fjord and grinning.

‘As much as I’d honestly be stoked to go toe to toe with all of you—‘specially you, sweetheart,’ she says, throwing a wink and a kiss to Jester. Her eyes slide over to Yasha and her smile, somewhat salacious, turns harsh. ‘And you, Orphanmaker,’

Her eyes go black with blood as Molly barks something in guttural Infernal. Unlike so many that they’ve fought, she doesn’t panic. She settles back into a defensive posture, letting Fjord step away and out of reach; head cocked to listen to them, she waits out the sudden blindness, blinks the film of blood away.

Her eyes find Molly. Looks at the bleeding scars, the glowing blades, his harsh, panting breath. The way he stands in front of Yasha.

‘Now that is very interesting,’

‘Forgive us,’ Caleb says, finally says, his hand still wreathed in flames, blue eyes fixed on their guest, ‘but perhaps you will stop cataloguing us for just a moment, bitte, and tell us who you are. Because I do not think for one moment that you are the Martinet’s auxiliary.’

‘What do you think I am?’

‘A monk,’ Caleb says flatly.

‘I see I’ve found the brains of the operation. Bren, was it?’

‘It’s Caleb,’ Nott shrieks. She’s been holding her crossbow the entire time and now swings it up to let loose. A bolt pings from her crossbow, and the monk catches it, hisses when the tip scratches her arm. She looks from it to Nott. Waggles the bolt at her with a scowl.

‘Next time, I throw it back,’ she warns. Tucks It into the soft sash of her belt. ‘I’m keeping this.’

‘It’s Caleb,’ Nott says again.

She glances up from Nott to the man she is protecting—no other way to describe the way she stands in front of him, small body straining to cover as much of him as possible—and she nods.

‘Okay. Caleb, then. Good to know, I’ll make a note of that.’

‘I’m certain that you will,’ Caleb says with a hint of laughter to his tone. Resigned laughter, tired, but laughter none the less. ‘You know our names—you probably know far more than that, if I am to understand what it is the Cobalt Soul does.’

Beauregard nods, shrugs.

They stand in silence for a short while. Until she looks about, brows raised like, And? What?

‘He’s asking what your fucking name is,’ Fjord grits out from his place next to Caduceus.

‘You’re not still mad, are you?’

‘I think you broke my nose.’

‘I definitely did,’

‘Beauregard,’ Jesterer blurts. ‘That’s what the Martinet called you.’

Beauregard looks surprised, then pleased, then annoyed. ‘Yeah, he does. But you lot shouldn’t. It’s just Beau.’

‘Why?’

‘Because Beauregard is a stupid fucking name and if you use it, I’ll punch your face in.’

‘...Got a last name?’

‘Do you?’ Fjord looks away first.

‘Why does the Martinet call you that if you hate it so much?’

Beau smiles. It’s a bit macabre with the stream of dried blood like a tear track down her cheeks. ‘Poor Ludinus. He really hasn’t much luck in the assistant department. His annex is a fucking cultist, and his auxiliary is a spy. Once again—because you seem a bit slow—I am the auxiliary.’

‘You’re a spy.’

‘Hey, not so slow after all. Good job. I’ll find you a sticker or something, a little pin that says well done.’

‘Fuck. Off.’

‘I do not understand,’

‘Pretty simple, Caleb my man, I’m the auxiliary and I’m a spy-‘

‘Ja, that I understand. What I don’t understand is why you are telling us this.’

Beau’s eyes slide across to Yasha again. ‘Let’s just day that I’m not the only one who noticed you’re out of your depth. Some people really dig that kind of thing. Vulnerability. Innocence. Guilt. Whatever they can manipulate.’ Caleb’s cheek twitches. ‘I’d like to say the Archives is above all that shit.’ She doesn’t elaborate. Just says, ‘The High Curstor pulled my from Ludinus watch, re-assigned me to you lot. I’m supposed to help you with this whole relic thing.’

‘And why would we agree to that?’

‘Couple reasons. One, you’re out of your depth,’

‘Yes, we got that one,’ Fjord grumbles

‘Two, I have access to the entirety of the Soul’s archive of research. Three, I’m a monk, I’m badass, I have like a billion abs.’

‘How is that a bargaining chip?’

‘How is it not?’ She hikes her shirt up to show them off.

Jester blinks. Comes around from behind the bed to examine them up close. And maybe to add an extra level of defense between Beau and Yasha.

‘Whoa,’

‘No! No whoa, Jester,’

‘I mean, you have to admit, Fjord, that’s really impressive. You should be very proud,’ Jester tells her, nodding.

‘Thank you, thank you, I am.’

‘There is no doubt in my mind you would be a helpful ally,’ Caleb says. ‘I only have a question as to what you, or your Archive, gets out of this arrangement. Forgive me, but I have not known people here to do things out of the kindness of their heart.’

Beau lets her shirt and her smile drop. ‘You’re not wrong. The Soul gets two things outta this—one, we love to fuck with the Assembly. The more dirt we can get on them, the better we feel—and everything I’ve heard about this relic and Ikithon—‘ There’s no way she misses Caleb’s flinch. ‘—smacks of some real fucked up shit. The Soul is all about weeding that out, putting a stop to corruption and all that.’

‘What a fine job it has done so far,’ Caleb murmurs, barely more than a whisper.

‘You said you get two things. What is the second?’ That, of all people, is Yasha.

Beau meets her multi-coloured eyes squarely. ‘The Cobalt Soul gets you.’

[captainstevenrogerswrites]

Some time apart.......

Natalia goes on a girl’s vacation for two weeks, Steven, the twins and the fur babies miss her more than they ever could imagine. It was only two weeks but the third day in and it felt like three years had passed.

Natalia Rogers x Steven Rogers

@missusrogerswrites​

Drabble or roleplay, I have no idea, just missing my real life Natalia like crazy, so here goes......

Its only ten days.....ten days was less than two weeks and just a little over one, it should be easy to just be able to live without his wife for ten days while she went on vacation with the few girl friends she had acquired. Hell, he was the one that had finally convinced her to go. He kept himself busy, spent the days with Sarah and Ivan, Teddy, Dodger and Lilho but it was the nights that was the worst. The loneliness, the emptiness, the silence, God their house without Natalia in it was so different, and truth be told he didn't like it. He was sure by now his texts were bugging her and so tried to be patient, he knew she didn't have much signal where she was but he also knew she deserved this time and was happy she was having a good time as well. 

Staring at his phone for the hundredth time since putting their kids to bed though, it was getting late and he hadn't heard from her since early afternoon, ow was he really so obsessive now? She was having a good time, he didn't want to make her feel like he was more important than that. His heart felt heavy, the darkness being kept away by only the candle he lit on their coffee table. The TV wasn't even on, his sketches of her scattered over the table. Damn it, he really was missing the only woman he loved.

A sigh escaped his lips, of course they could have time away from one another and she would be back in less than a week but this was the first time for years that they hadn't been talking or in contact in one way or another for hours. HIs body craved to touch her, his soul ached for her, his heart begging for the day he could rush to the airport and hold her in his arms again. God, he was a silly old man, truly.

Ivan and Sarah were missing their Mommy too, he could sense it. They took longer to settle down for naps and at night, they felt cranky at bath time and he was sure they were trying to find her in every person they saw on the beach. Tony even popped over, it didn't take long after fifteen missed calls that Steven was pining for only one phone call. Its not like Steven had let things go either, the house was clean and tidy, the twins and fur babies were having as much fun with him as they could and he wasn't laying on the couch doing nothing, but Tony knew he was simply missing her and feeling bad for feeling that way as she deserved a vacation. Tony tried to convince him he wasn't being selfish, that what he felt was natural, especially when you had someone around daily and then they’re not.  

Tonight though, Tony helped him settle the kids down and made sure he ate some dinner and had a couple of beers, the mechanic insisted he could stay longer but Steven said he wanted time on his own and Natalia was going to call in the night anyway. Steven wasn't lying, his wife always made sure she called at nights and tried to text him when she could. Not because she felt she had too, but because she was missing him too.

Ten-thirty at night came, picking up his phone, he checked his messages again then sighed and placed it on the table, she was a couple of hours ahead of him and he found himself adjusted to her new time zone. Shaking his head, was that obsessive? God he hoped not. They didn't have to be connected to the hip, he was like that at all, but he was allowed to miss her presence in his life, that was normal right to miss the mother of your children and your soulmate?

When he went to bed, he hugged her pillow, the bed seemed far too big, and he had been finding himself going to bed earlier and earlier, simply because he didn't know what else to do, his life without her really wasn't anything was it? She was apart of it all, the days and nights. Did he need help?

Jumping in the shower, leaving the phone exactly where it was on the coffee table to stop himself from checking it every thirty seconds, he tried to wash away his thoughts. He smiled imagining her having dinner with her friends, laughing, dancing, having adventures and making memories, even in his head she looked beautiful and it warmed his heart he knew she was enjoying herself. She more than deserved it.

Drying himself off he stepped out and put some pajamas on, padding his feet quietly towards the twins bedrooms to check they were soundly and happily sleeping before making his way back down stairs and into the kitchen. The two dogs lifted their heads up from their sleep, realised he was okay and settled back down, their cat jumped from the back of the sofa and stretched over the window sill of the kitchen just as Steven switched the kettle on.

Reaching over towards the radio, he quietly put on a radio channel to fill the silence he still wasn't used to yet. The kettle stopped and he found himself pouring himself a cup of coffee, his eyes glanced at the clock ten thirty five maybe wasnt a good time to drink coffee but he didnt want miss her phone call if she called. 

Making his way back to the settee, he smiled softly and patted the heads of Dodger and Teddy and they snuggled up to him. Sipping his coffee he leaned back into the back of the sofa and tried to think of anything but his wife. He really did have it all, a beautiful wife inside and out, two magical little angels as children, the best dogs and cat he could ever ask for, a gorgeous family home near Brooklyn Beach, and a life he could only ever dream of. He knew how lucky and blessed he was everyday and he tried not to take any of it for granted either. 

Every time I think of you I always catch my breath And I'm still standing here And you're miles away

Missing you....

The words from the song on the radio finally hitting him, it was about someone missing someone when theyre left but Steven just heard it as just missing someone special and he was. “Dont worry bubba’s , Mommy will be home next week” he whispered to the dogs as if they needed reassurance.  Steven Rogers without his other half, hmmm this really was a novelty.

 Okay Steven, enough! Stop being a grumpy old sap. She’s allowed to go away and shes having fun, stop thinking about her. Do something for you!!

His mind shouted at him, his mind was right, was the hell was he doing? With that he stood up and took his coffee mug to the sink , washing it out and putting it on the side just as his phone rang. Running straight over to the coffee table he picked his phone up and grinned as he saw “Wife <3″ I.D calling. Answering it quickly, he suddenly was met with the face of his wife smiling back at him “God youre so beautiful” his words slipped out making his wife laugh “You’re meant to say hi baby first” he blushed softly and smirked “Hi baby” making them both laugh.

Sitting down on the sofa, he couldnt stop staring at her, face timing was so mihc better than a simple phone call, he loved seeing the way the small creases near her eyes would appear as she laughed and smiled, how her eyes twinkled when they talked and how her lips made him feel like a teenager and yet so calm and loved at the same time. Leaning forward slightly, he tried to balance the phone against the candle, it sliding down as Steven caught it and laughed, deciding to hold it instead. God he missed her and she missed him too, no matter where they were they were madly inlove with one another and nothing would change that.

They chatted about their day, Natalia telling him she had been on a boat ride and swam around an island with the girls, that she was tired from it but it was so worth it. Of course, Steven, even though he didnt want her to leave, said if she was tired she could get some sleep, but it was clear she , too, didnt want to leave just yet either. Steven told her that he took them all on the small boat, Natalia chuckling as they had both been on boats that day, they said in words what their bodies were already telling the other, that they missed and loved one another. Steven showed her their sleeping furbabies and then headed back up stairs, after making sure everything was locked. No matter what, they never seemed to run out of things to say. 

Creeping into their twin’s rooms, he showed Mommy her beautiful sleeping angels, seeing the tears build up in her eyes, he tried to reassure her they were all doing okay but she was going to be smothered with love from them all when she comes back, making her smile. Heading into their room, he slipped into bed and placed ‘her’ on her pillow facing him, it felt like she was facing him in bed too. Smiling softly at her, he noticed the small yawn she tried to hide from him “baby you need sleep” his tone was soft and loving, this phone call could last forever and it wouldn't be enough but he also knew she needed sleep “no...no....sweetheart, I want to talk to you a little but longer” his smile grew a little more at her stubbornness “I love you so much Natalia” His wife grinned “And I love you too, Steven Rogers, my gorgeous husband” 

He watched as her eyes flickered closed, but he didnt end the call as she murmured about missing him “I miss you too babygirl, not long now, you better be having fun out there. Captain’s orders” he saw her sleepingly smile as sleep unwillingly took her from him. As she fell into sleep soundly, he snuggled up into the blankets, she looked so peaceful and he loved her even more in that moment, if at all possible. “Sweet dreams Princess”  He could see her skin was slightly more tanned than normal, her hair tussled against the pillow and caressed down her neck, her neck he longingly wanted to kiss. 

Now it was his eyes that felt heavy but he didnt want to end the call just yet. He wanted to still have her close to him just a little bit longer, but sleep had other plans and wanted to take him to slumber as well. Within minutes, the struggle between the old man and sleep was over and Steven was sound asleep, more peaceful than he had slept the night before without her. It wasnt until his phone battery died around 4am that the phone call was ended. Love.....both Steven and Natalia said they didnt believe in it before one another now it was everything to them. They truly were meant for one another. 

[wwounu]

Yesss Keags! You absolute genius! as everything crumbles around him, he dreams about the Reader bc they are his safe space. And he learns he has the power to create as much as he can destroy also. So he puts it to his advantage to do just that with the Reader. And ahh the fluff after the angst bc our baby finds his self confidence. & you can see him and reader traveling bw the two worlds helping every way they can. & nonu teaching little ones like him that it's good to be different. 🥺😭 -🍰

*bare with me

okokok so

wonwoo is obviously in bad condition and everything around him is just crumbling to bits

and all he wants to do is see you but hes scared he’ll hurt you without realising it so which is why he hides away

and everyone who comes across him is wished away to god knows where

but his power temps him to do bad things but the wonwoo thats still there still holds on and tries his best to stay away from that danger as much as possible to keep others safe

but its too much for him

he wants the pain to go away but it hurts so much and he wants to hurt everyone who has ever hurt him

And it only causes more pain to come and hes honestly tired of it all and the only thing that calms him down is thinking about his bookstore, his family and you

so he cries himself to sleep in isolated destruction

however in his dream he dreams of you and he feels happy as if hes lived in misery all of his life

and you say ‘do you want to stay with me, wonwoo? Forever?’

and wonwoo, whos still in love, says the quietest ‘yes’

and youre like ‘okay’ before you push him with the slightest touch and he falls backwards and its strange

its first through hell, then the celestial world, then his bookshop, then into darkness

and hes like ‘not... not again— im scared, please’

and wonwoo wakes up with tears in his eyes and sits up

but hes in a bright, clean room and says ‘huh?’ in a tiny voice

And his condition is still the same, wrecked and damaged and the dominant voices are tempting him to do soemthing he’ll regret

it gets too much before you come into the room because he’s in your bedroom in your apartment

and you just. Drop everything and jump on him

he winces, hurt, but is too shocked to process this all

to process y o u

and he genuinely foesnt believe it until youre like ‘youre here’

wonwoo: here? ive only been gone for two days...

then you pull wonwoo away, confused as you say

‘wonwoo... its been three months’

and you look absolutely wrecked by saying that fact and wonwoo has completely forgot about the day rotations in the real world and the celestial one bc they work weirdly

but you dont go further and point at an open window blowing in cold air and youre like

‘Ive kept it open every night hoping youd come back through it... i even left the light on and your favourite book with one of your pot plants in the library’

and wonwoo starts to cry because this is the most sentimental thing someone has done for him and he holds you tight while dangerously sobbing

even though youd recoprocate the hug, there was something hanging to the hug that wasn’t wonwoo

anyway wonwoo says ‘please, the world is so cruel to me, i... i just want to be with you, i want it to only be us two—‘

hes shaking but the room also begins to shake and youre getting scared, figuring out that wonwoo is probably doing this all

so you stop him and go, hold on wonwoo, listen

and you pat his tear stained cheeks and hes just like a sad kitty just wsnting to be loved, with his broken wings that are classified as impure and disgusting, his whole being classed as disgusting

the shaking stops a little but you can see correlations between wonwoo wincing when the shaking intensifies

and you simply just ask ‘whats happened?’

and he explains about his power and how he feels like he cant be in control and its like hes in the passenger seat of all of this

he cant go on because it makes him sob more and youre just wiping away his tears one by one, letting him take his time

then you say how you’ll protect wonwoo through the good and bad, that hes stronger than this force because theres still that good in him which knows whats right and that it doesnt change anything about how you feel about him

wonwoo: what if i hurt you?

you: i’ll be okay, you’ll save me at the end of the day

he goes on how he cant control it but one touch from you and he’s automatically calmed, breathing steady and the room stopped from trembling

and wonwoo smiles, crying again this crybabyboy before he eventually sleeps next to you, your apartment room having itself stop shaking and glad that your angel is by your side again, playing with his feathers because it helps him fall asleep

OR LIKE (im sorry this is so long djdhs) he disappears for a while in his world of destruction in order to protext the reader, but he’s still observing over them as they do their day to day things, and he wishes small favours to make their day and help them but on the other hand wonwoo thinks they’ve had their memory wiped by the angels and demons, when in reality the angels and demons kept the readers memory because the fear over wonwoo’s power and what he’ll do to them, so whenever wonwoo isnt paying attention the reader is always doing things for wonwoo because they miss them, like opening their window everynight, driving past the bookstore to make sure its in shape, taking a plant or two or all to water and care for them, play with one of wonwoo’s feathers that fell from his wings in their wallet, small things like that which wonwoo doesnt notice and its :((( but they eventually find their way together again bc lbr theyre fated to be

[karazrel]

stydia :)

thank you love :)

Gives nose/forehead kisses: definitely stiles, he’s so much taller than lydia (and he never lets her forget it) so he’s always bending down to give her a kiss on the forehead 

Gets jealous the most: they’re both relatively jealous people but in completely different ways. like stiles? he’s always considered lydia to be miles out of his league so his jealousy is something quiet and hidden between strained smiles and bad jokes. but lydia? she burns hot and fierce and one minute stiles is obliviously chatting to the nice barista  and the next he has an arm-full of lydia who’s kissing him in a decidedly inappropriate way for public spaces

Takes care of on sick days: so we all know lydia is like a Workaholic who just.. Does Not Know How To Take A Break, even at her own peril (circa teen wolf 2011-2018) and she is the absolute worst person at being sick, not because she’s whiny but because she absolutely refuses to even acknowledge any illness of hers. so after they’ve finally gotten together stiles makes it his mission to get her to take better care of her health even if it means literally carrying her out of the library in the middle of the day because ‘lydia martin you will get some rest or so help me god i will tie you to the bed’

Drags the other person out into the water on beach day: okay so i have this headcanon that allison absolutely loved the beach and she’d drag lydia to this secluded cliffside strip of beach every weekend regardless of how much she complained (’id really rather not be picking sand out of my hair for the next three months allison’) and eventually lydia grew to love the beach just as much, if not more than allison. but then the nogitsune happened and allison died and beaches became nothing more than another place lydia couldnt go without the memory of allison choking her. and at first stiles didn’t get it because like who doesn’t love the beach? but then scott absentmindedly lets it slip that allison and lydia used to pretty much live there and it all suddenly makes so much sense. and we all know stiles just cannot let things go and so he plans a surprise trip and takes lydia to the very same beach she used to visit with allison and lydia is crushed and furious but more than anything she’s so tired of trying to forget someone who brought her so much happiness. and just when she thinks she’s all cried out, stiles brings out a fucking sharpie pen and tells her that allison deserves to be here with them too, and lydia has tears in her eyes when she writes A.A. on the nearest rock. and when stiles drags her towards the water she’s laughing just as loud and hard as before and it feels something like rebirth.

Brings the other lunch at work: they take turns because honestly? they’re both so damn bad at taking care of themselves. like lydia will spend three days straight in her lab if stiles doesnt send her 10000 messages reminding her to come home. and when stiles is working on a case? he’s damn near unresponsive to anything that isn’t a case file. so they’re both there for each other with food and a reminder to actually get some sleep when it matters.

Tries to start role-playing in bed: okay like definitely stiles 10000% because like he’s a dumbass and now he’s a dumbass with a badge so like think of all the /potential/ and so one day he walks into their house and he strides up to lydia all gruff and confident and tells her if being sexy is a crime then you’re guilty as charged ms martin and lydia just…. bursts out laughing for like 15 minutes straight (she does let him keep the handcuffs though)

Embarrassingly drunk dancer: stiles stilinski, this doesnt even need an explanation 

Firmly believes in couples costumes: again, definitely stiles like he’s been in love with lydia for like ten years ‘think of all the couples costumes we could’ve tried out in those years lydia! think of all the wasted potential!’ and lydia pretends to hate it but secretly she loves how dorky stiles is and how damn excited he gets planning their costume every single year

Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas: lydia for sure, like stiles’ gifts are always thoughtful knickknacks and handcrafts or photographs, things that warm lydias heart and make her fall in love with him all over again and she’s at a loss for what to get this beautiful man who’s given her everything she’s ever wanted and she knows that stiles doesnt care about how expensive a gift is but seeing him light up when he realises she got him an original star wars figure - or some other nerdy gift that probably cost thousands of dollars - is enough to make her day.

Makes the other eat breakfast: stiles has basically spent the better part of his teenage years making sure his dad stuck to an actual healthy diet and that’s only expanded to include lydia in the past couple of years so he insists that she eat breakfast every single morning or at least take something with her to work and send him a picture of the finished meal because he knows that if left to her own devices she’d have a cracker and call it a day

Remembers anniversaries: stiles! stiles! stiles! again, he just cannot believe that he’s married to lydia freaking martin and so any anniversary is a heartwarming reminder that he’s finally with the woman he loves so he’s always (and i mean always) doing The Most

Brings up having kids first: so one day stiles is visiting lydia at work and he notices this like gaggle of young kids surrounding her being pretty much enthralled by her every word - later he finds out that she volunteered as part of a project aimed at introducing young girls to the STEM field and she’s somewhat of a mentor - but right now all he can focus on is lydia’s brilliant smile and her bending down and talking in soft tones with the kids and answering all their questions and he’s sure his brain has short circuited because how else would you explain why he’s pretty much frozen and incapable of forming coherent words. after that, stiles cant stop thinking about lydia and kids and lydia with kids (their kid specifically) and one date night they’re out in a restaurant ordering food and lydia turns to him with a smile and asks ‘what would you like?’ and stiles just bursts out in a way too loud voice ‘kids!’ which garners a few confused looks but starts a much overdue conversation (and if ten years later claudia asks when exactly they decided to have kids at least they’ll have a funny story to tell)

Kills the bugs: neither! they’re both like borderline terrified of insects altogether so the logical thing to do? call actual saint scott mccall to come save the day and release the bugs into the wilderness

First to define them as a couple: lydia, and not because stiles doesnt want to, it’s just that they’re still so new and he kind of like cant believe that theyre an actual couple, like a couple who go out together, exclusively and he’s still waiting for someone to jump out and say ‘sike! we got you good!’ and so he’s pretty much walking on egg shells until lydia figures it out and decides to overcompensate by literally telling every person they meet until stiles is convinced that yes, this is real, and ‘no ashton kutcher is not hiding in a bush stilinski, so you better start calling me you girlfriend before i find someone who will’

Who hides their guilty pleasures longer: lydia! like stiles is a dork and he owns it, he knows he’s a giant nerd but lydia? she’d rather die than let people know of her weird obsessions (it’s stiles who eventually convinces her that it’s not a bad thing to be a passionate nerd ‘look at me, i spent my entire life being a geek and i managed to marry the most beautiful woman in the world’)

Snorts while laughing: LYDIA. listen, lydia martin may seem like a composed and elegant woman but she is such a giant dork and only a handful of trusted people know it. 

send me a ship!

[tumblunni]

Rambling about my new watchholder oc Mallory

* absolute gremlin child. Eats dirt. Probably more of a monster than most of the yokai.

* at the same time tho, she is like super sunshine friend! She looks kinda gloomy ominous but her personality is actually super bubbly and her biggest priority in life is making new yokai friends and loving them forever. Like, creepy in a wholesome way? She does indeed love horror movies and creepy crawlies and could probably fistfight god, but that doesnt mean she's evil!

* kinda always bored but also easily exciteable? One of her biggest recurring jokes is just ignoring the normal or sane solution to a thing and doing something more fun even if its more difficult or dangerous. Actually i guess its more "fearless" than bored? Or bored of fear, lol. Fearless and doesnt really give a shit about any rules. But again not in a mean way, she doesnt break rules because she wants to piss people off, just like "im not gonna believe this if nobody bothers explaining why its supposed to be so important". But not exactly phrased like that cos that would be rude, lol. So uhh more like just relateable autism feel of not grasping social cues but mixed with a personality thats quite outgoing and uncaring of being judged poorly for not being normal, as opposed to me who's always worried about what people think.

* oh wait thats the word for it!! Free-spirited! Trickster! Like a peter pan type of trickster tho, more than loki. Like just "i am naturally outside the obligations of normalcy" rather than "i am intentionally trying to prank/illusion/manipulate people cos its funny". Or uhh i guess "manic pixie dream girl" but without all the stupid shit that trope has got associated with.

* pretty much just wish fullfillment of "what if i was confident enough to not care what people think and just act like myself no matter what"

* anyway in summary she likes to climb trees n stuff and her reaction to yokai being real is "yay" and her reaction to seeing an undefeatable giant kaiju is to run at it and try and suplex it with her bare hands. She's kind of a badass! Tho lol also her biggest character flaw is her badassness, cos she can be reckless due to the lack of fear. But then also sometimes when everyone is hopeless she really does manage to save the day no matter what, and help inspire everyone else to be brave too!

* though i'm thinking of maybe a character arc where she starts off seeing this as just a fun adventure with no stakes, and it doesnt matter if you take risks cos nobody's gonna get hurt anyway. Like a "this isnt really real, its just my hero's story" sort of thing? When things start getting more dark and she faces things she cant just defeat with simple optimism, it kinda stops being fun anymore. And she has to realize that even if she doesnt care about her own self preservation there's consequences that could happen to her friends and family. And maybe she's already made mistakes that she can't take back, and now she's neck deep in a conflict thats a lot bigger and more insurmountable than she thought. You can't just fistfight something like the abstract concept of hatred for humanity which will continue to be perpetuated as long as the idea keeps taking root. And maybe even yokai you befriended could start to believe it too, after all you've kinda been treating them as just fun toys and sidekicks on a story that's all about you, and dragging them into danger with your recklessness. Even though you're fighting the villains, are you really doing it because you actually care about saving the day? Do you even know what you're saving it from...?

* and similar to her unflappable victoryness being shaken, i think her fearlessness and confidence could also be deeper than they look on the surface. I feel like maybe as the story goes on it could be revealed that its less being fearless and more just not caring about her own safety. You start to see her get more actual consequences from her fights, and it starts to become sort of concerning that she keeps brushing it off as no big deal. Laughing it off. Wondering why her friends are even sad that she got hurt. And maybe she isnt really happy all the time and 100% secure in who she is, she just tries to hide any signs of doubt because she feels like nobody would care. And that she has to always be the funny class clown or else nobody would want to be her friend. And like.. She doesnt even really believe that she's great, believe that she's fine as she is. She's more aware of her weirdness than she lets on. She's constantly, paralyzingly aware that everyone thinks she's a freak. She did use to try and change herself to fit in, but she kept failing at it and it never helped her get any friends. Or when she did think she made a friend they'd turn on her whenever she slipped up and showed a crack in her mask of the perfect normal person. The perfect normal person they wanted her to be.. Constantly changing into WHATEVER anyone wanted her to be. The only reason she doesnt do that anymore is that she lost all hope in it working, not that she actually gained confidence in her true self. And even when she's npt conciously doing it she's still subconciously trying to be what people want her to be. She has to always be funny, always be fearless, she has to cling to the few parts of her weirdness that people dont seem to hate. And now she has to be the hero. She has to carry all the dreams of everyone she's met along the way, while never letting them know when she's scared she wont be able to help make them come true. She's always just laughing it off and never being fully open with any of her friends, because she's scared they'll hate her. ..

* so uhh.. Yeah. Personal experience of that. Personal experience of trying to fit into negative stereotypes of autism because thats what everyone saw me as no matter how hard i tried, and also it was the only form of autism theyd treat positively, somehow. Like just be the "funny one" and dont challenge any of their assumptions ans they'll leave you in relative peace. Put up with some degree of degredation to avoid the even worse version. And i was doing all of this at a very youbg age before i even knew i was autistic or what autism was, but i could still feel how people treated me differently and how i had to friggin agree with it or else they'd never let it go. Gahhh.. It was all way too complicated and dark for a kid to understand!

* so yeah anyway her story arc is going from being a badass funny to being a funny badass? Like she just becomes more genuinely tough and cool when she's not always winning and the stakes dont seem so low and comical AND most importantly you know her real feelings and see that she will indeed continue fighting even when she's scared. And she doesnt try so hard to be cool all the time so it just lets her be more genuine. And form actual relationships with everyone with genuine feelings. So its less "she is badass because its funny" and more "she is a badass because she's a badass". But she's still funny, just in more varied ways than simply "the only reason she won this fight so fast is because jokes". Fighting legit threatening enemies in fights that arent over in five seconds. So they can contain... SEVERAL joke..!!! And also some actual fighting for once!!

* hhh i dunno i am very tired im probably not explaining this well

* oh and i think possibly she has a bit of a complex of feeling she's nothing without her yokai watch? Like the yokai are her first friends who never abandoned her. And she always felt like she was useless and it was her own fault that she didnt have any friends. She first started off being all irreverent and goofy when she got the yokai watch cos she was well into her "i dont care anymore" phase of depression and felt certain these new friends would all realise she was awful eventually and leave, so like.. Why get attatched? Just have fun while it lasts. So maybe actually she shows early signs of her depression by trying harder to be normal whenever anyone shows her friendship. Maybe something where she starts straigjtening her hair or dressing more feminine and then you just see this look on her face like her heart has shattered when someone agrees that she does look better now. (Maybe a new yokai she recently caught who was like super cool and she wanted to impress them?) And she gets compulsively obsessed with it, exaggerating it to a ridiculous degree and starting to change other parts of her appearance and everyone goes from giggling about this weird circumstance to getting REALLY DAMN CONCERNED! And in the end something something the yokai who was an asshole abput her needing to be more feminine slips up and shows his true assy colours to the other yokai and theyre like IT WAS YOU and he's like "what? You should be thanking me for fixing your shitty trainer!" And Then Everyone Beats Him Up Forever. Etc etc moral that real friends accept you for who you are and anyone who tells you you have to change to impress them is not worth impressing. Also maybe some aspect where the yokai dude thinks that mallory is trying to impress him cos she has a crush on him, and thats the moment that manages to snap her out of her depressive funk. Self hate overrided by sheer EWW NO IM A LESBIAN, DUDE i just liked ur cool hat, geez. (Wait was that entire plot idea just an excuse to find a way to foreshadow her getting a crush on hailey in yw3...?)

* and maybe i dunno some sort of dramatic episode where she loses the ability to use the yokai watch and is faced with her self worth issues all at once and its super fuckin sad and we all know eventually she will get to see all her yokai friends again cos the plots not gonna end before finishing all the games but still MEGA SUPER SAD MOMENT ANYWAY (also tearful reunions!)

* also i just heard theres a yokai called furgus thats a big adorable hairball that gives people big hair. So maybe that could be one of the comically easy victory episodes? He uses his power on mallory but her hair is already too fluffy to be floofed! Maybe it backfires and turns his own hair into a boring bowl cut, lol? And then maybe a sequel where he returns for revenge a million episodes later but it just so happens to be during the maddiman boss fight and he accidentally cures his balding. "Noooo dont thank me nooooo" *is forced against his will to become a popular advertosing mascot for hair cream* *like straight up just gets sucked into the nearest bottle and sealed like a genie* *cursed forever to fame and fortune and a million dollar salary*

* lol i dont think im as funny as the actual yokai watch writers but i have a few ideas at least. This will be fun to draw!

[ftscge-blog]

greetings friends (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ im jay and im excited to b finally making an obnoxious entrance .. Yea couldnt be more late but please (Softly begging) dont be a stranger. i promise to overwhelm u with ideas and headcanons about our characters eating pasta or arguing about who gets to eat the pink mentos ... Right ??? right. under the cut u will find a few pointers about my spiritual sage and i will post some possible connections tomorrow (although id be MOre than happy to brainstorm more). Also, dis klutz hasnt got a soulmate yet so if someone reads this and goes ‘yea cool’ ☺ .. here is ur chance ....... we can work magic ????? okay 

as per usual, if u would like me to im u about conspiracy theories or to plot summnnn bonito give this a HEart. Alternatively if u want to give mark the zucc or pity like, dats also welcome. Thank u

!!!!!!!! tw: death, depression !!!!!

kendall jenner + cisfemale + she/her — have you met sage hawke? they are a twenty-two year old furniture sales advisor known as the conundrum. a pansexual cancer, they are astute + attentive, as well as mercurial + phlegmatic. their soulmark is a olive branch behind her ear, and they can’t feel the emotions of their soulmate, who happens to look like any fc. // jay. 20. she/her. gmt.

❃ sage was born in berkeley, california in the back garden of a school bus turned tiny house to a pair of flower children that did not plan to become parents and underestimated just how much it would shift their otherwise, spontaneous lives. they were far from picture perfect, with their tendency to outburst and get stuck when things didn’t go their way. theyd often forget to pack sages breakfast or dress her in unmatched socks, leave her unattended, allow her to squeeze herself into places where she shouldn’t be.. they’d trip over pacifiers and forget to warm up the milk but they gave sage a warm place to come back to with muddy knees after repeatedly falling off the monkey bars and loving arms to fall into after someone made fun of her in elementary.. and she was the kind of person who wasn’t afraid to dig through dirt 

❃ her mother was delicate, she could never secure a real job.. she couldn’t be criticised, she took everything to heart and found it hard to open up to people.. she couldn’t be alone for too long and never slept with the lights off. she met sage’s father at the age of 19..from the moment they saw each other, it clicked. they were soulmates. he was 10 years older than her. He was a childish spirit that never grew up, he never took things too seriously and always had an alternative for any situation. He had a backbone that was able to support both of them emotionally, without him, Sage would have never taken her first breath in the first place. For him, it was always going to be okay eventually??? he was the one to sit sage down after she brought home a bad grade, he’d read her the bedtime stories and teach her her first guitar chords. her mother always looked up to what he would do and try to be the same, but it always felt staged, detached. like she never knew how to react around sage. Like she couldn’t grip her own struggles so, how could she begin to understand her daughters ... difference is, her father thought he couldn’t but he always tried. they balanced each other. around him, it was hard to believe anything could possibly get worse 

❃ but it did.. on her 14th birthday sage got a dog, a golden doodle that jumped with excitement at the sight of sage as much as she did at the sight of him. later that night, her father suggested they all go to a park to enjoy the first day with the new addition to their family and so they did. it was the first time, sage’s mother smiled so big it gave sage and her father goosebumps. he was playing fetch with the dog when pain pierced through his chest and bolted up his spine. in that moment, everything slowed down. sage felt her ears buzz and her sight get blurry, the moment she kneeled down in front of her father and begged her mother to call for help but instead, all she did was stood still. she screamed at the top of her lungs and tried dialling for help but realised, she was never taught the emergency number. she banged her fists against her father’s chest and begged for him to wake up, but it was just as though someone turned off his on switch. sage broke down, curled up beside her father and held the dog in her arms as though to repress his playful nature. the world turned grey that evening, the air felt denser. her mother was taken under care that day after she succumbed from witnessing her soulmates death... they had given her a couple of days before her light would turn off along with her soulmark. it was in these last days that sage learned more about her mother than ever. she learned that she was self conscious about motherhood knowing she couldn’t teach sage the qualities that mattered like resilience, courage and acuity. that she observed without interrupting, that she remembered every single detail of sage’s life more than she recalls her own. sage learned that her mother is where she inherited her tenderness and idiosyncrasy from, that her favorite flower is a blue bell and that sage was her happiest accident  

❃ to bury both of her parents at once wasn’t irrational to sage, it was what was ingrained in their destiny. if one soulmate dies, the other most likely follows. but although sage had remarkable understanding of the world for her age, she could never accept the fact that they were there one day and the next, they were gone. her father never finished teaching her guitar chords and her mother never ate her piece of sage’s birthday cake. how do you go on knowing you can’t go back and replay something in a way that feels tangible ?? how do you go on knowing you are all alone. who do you complain to?? who is there to live for??? ? it is hard losing both of your parents on its own and even harder to accept when you are old enough to make sense of it. seeing images everytime you try to rest that bring back all the pain, not being able to stop the tears from streaming down your face because everytime u do, you realise that with each passing day the memory of their faces becomes more blurry. the voices become ruffled in your brain as if theyre just a fragment of your imagination. you bottle up. you scream, you hit, you tire yourself out and try to shake the feeling off but it feels as though its ripping through your bones and leaving ulcers on your heart that pound in pain everytime you go back to the last time you’ve smiled and realising, you cannot remember. sage’s unapologetic demeanour  attracted the wrong crowd. she was the girl who would leave lipstick marks on necks and who’s voice could be heard at the other end of the hallway having an argument with her high school sweetheart. whoever it was that month. she was unapologetically eccentric, sloppy and unwell. but to this day, the people who really know her see her as an incredibly sensitive individual who deals with her issues hands on. who’s piercingly honest, sometimes too much. someone who is able to convey their vulnerability in ways that seem lunatic and astute all at once. she is incredibly tough, she’s able to force anyone look at themselves in the mirror, see themselves in a new light and turn their lives around. just as she is convinced she did

❃ sage was placed in foster care after her parents’ passing and due to her neurotic nature, was never a feasible candidate for adoption.. she worked as a waitress at the local diner owned by a family friend until they realised she was better off helping the chef in the kitchen, away from the customers that often walked right out the Moment sage graced their table JGRIEOGJEI When she turned 18, Sage was given a care plan and various locations where she could make her home. After spending a month, digging through job advertisements and applying to anything that didn’t require a college degree, Sage got one reply. It was an informal email requesting an interview for a furniture sales advisor in captiva island, florida. one of the places on the care plan list. She packed everything she could and moved to Captiva. the next morning, she arrived at the furniture shop and was greeted by a greying man with wood sand on his jeans and a lady with too much hairspray in her hair waving at her from across the counter. And the rest is HISTORY ???  from the moment they’ve welcomed her into their shop, Sage was overwhelmed with the same disorderedness she grew up around and the more she got to know the personalities of her new bosses, the more she learned to appreciate them. coming into work felt more like home than the place she had lived in, with freshly baked pastries ready for her to munch on at her break or a story to listen to in between the busy times. the more they knew sage, the more they allowed her to express her feelings about daily frustrations, accepted her random spurts of energy and understood when she needed a day off or two, or more. soon enough, the moments when she wasn’t at work, she was spending on their couch, looking through their albums of children that had left their nests and simpler times, when all they had to worry about was their curfew. they weren’t soulmates but they were best friends and didn’t let destiny determine their life. Sage looked up to them like no other, comparing their life to the tragedy of her parents’, convincing herself that chasing after your Soulmate, whoever it may be, isn’t worth the chance of risk at all. After working there for 4 years, Sage became like family to the owners of the shop and for her 21st birthday, they decided to gift her with their offering of parenthood. Later that summer, the Hawke family became sages legal parents

❃ i will post some questionnaire later to clarify her personality a little more but it’ll all come through her dialogue .. u know who she reminds me of ??? sophia from girl boss??? or tiffany from silver linings playbook?? shes painfully observant and a huge overthinker. she doesn’t filter her speech and oftentimes, she says things she should not on impulse. she’s neurotic, she’s erratic, she will pick petty fights and blow things out of proportion when you catch her on the wrong day. its like that lyrics thoUGH ‘when im happy oh god im happy??’ you will see it from the way her eyes crinkle and the ways she can’t seem to relax her body. every emotion overwhelms her.. she loves and she protecc until her knuckles bleed and she’s stubborn, she’ll never let you win the argument unless she loves u and she understands that u are probably way wiser than she is. Shes a klutz, she’ll trip over her own feet taking out the trash and spill Literally everything that isnt left empty. She likes little moments in life, the profound ones like that one time her friend let her drive his car even through she didn’t have her driving license or that one time her friend opened up to her even though they never do. She remembers all of those profound moments very clearly and holds onto them for dear life because to her, they are what matters .. Please plot w me if u got to this point because ... DAMNNN :’) u really read all det..... 

❃ why the olive branch ??? its understood to be a symbol of peace .. reconciliation. maybe they met it felt like an ice pack on a bruise ?? maybe they met each other and it felt as though there’s been some kind of a mistake, that they were nothing what they expected their soulmate to be ? maybe they even considered removing their soulmark because it felt so wrong that two polar opposites were meant to make things work?? it almost felt unfair??? maybe even the fact that they can’t feel the emotions of their soulmate can be linked to that .. because u know it would be harder to learn to love, platonically or romantically, someone who you cant easily understand? in addition to that, sage is not an easy person to deal with .. she’s erratic, she’s a know-it-all .. she overthinks like no other, shes easily irritated and explosive and she has always been quite cynical about the idea of a soulmate and it shows with how unwilling she is to share all of herself with a stranger.. a part of her written in destiny. Something shes convinced is ... fickle?? So yeah... an olive branch. For all the profound moments when it feels just right. For when the uncertainty fades away :-)

[kuchipatchi69]

aesthetic themed asks 😎 answer them all 😎

god ham ok

flower crown: when did you last sing to yourself?Today probably? I listen to music when I walk around campus so i kind of sing to myself

fairy lights: if a crystal ball could tell you the truth about anything, what would you want to know?If I will be happy in the future lol

daisies: what is the greatest accomplishment of your life?Actually making it to college

1975: what is the first happy memory that comes to mind, recent or otherwise?Everytime I go home and see my dogs lmao, i love them so much

matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?I would do whatever I want tbh, no reason to not have a good time

black nail polish: do you have a bucket list? if so, what are the top three things?uh!god i have no idea, im honestly winging it

pantone: describe a person close to your life in detail.Okay so we’ll do the Big Meme @chesapeakeripperWe’ve been friends for like, over 5 years and though we had a few falling outs, theyre literally my best friend lmao. Short, Salty, yet chill, and always a good time to hangout with. One of the only people I can spend more than a week with probably. Too edgy for their own good but has a compatible aesthetic and music taste. Edgy but loves folk music? A little shady, an asshole, yells at me for dabbing too much but then proceeds to dab or get mad when i dont take advantage of the good time to do it. ALSO the only person who i feel on the same level with rhythm games in general lmao

moodboard: do you feel you had a happy childhood?Oh yeah. My parents were good and I’ve realized how nice ive had it. We aren’t rich or anything but my parents always made sure we were comfortable.

stars: when did you last cry in front of another person?Oh god i dont even know. OH NVM YEAH, I cried in front of my vocal teacher and I feel so much closer to her honestly.

plants: pick a person to stargaze with you and explain why you picked them.Ok not to be gay but ham probably lol I mean? I would feel at peace probably, because I can talk to him about anything and I wouldnt have to feel nervous or anything.

converse: would you ever have a deep conversation with a stranger and open up to them?Oh yeah, I’m an open book and Most new friends reach out to me when im having a rough time so

lace: when was your last 3am conversation with someone, and who were they to you?Either Ham or Cain? Idk it wasnt anything too deep lmaoW Cain we just shit talk or talk about mbmbam? or pkmn cards lets be real. Cain is my bff and ham is a good guy

handwriting: if you were about to die, and you could only say one more sentence to one person, what would you say and to whom?FUCK IDK ID REALLY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THISI’d probably tell my dad thank you and how much he meant to me

cactus: what is your opinion on brown eyes?Great, I love them

sunrise: pick a quote and describe what it means to you personally.“What” - anyone ever, I connect with it because I never know whats going on ever

oil paints: what would you title the autobiography of your life so far?“I’m out here”

overalls: what would you do with one billion dollars?buy a lot of anime figures and also clothes and pokemon cards

combat boots: are you a very forgiving person? do you like being this way?IT DEPENDS! I can forgive people if I can see how genuine their apology is but if its something really shitty, then probably not lol

winged eyeliner: write a hundred word letter to your twelve year old self.Are you seriousDear newly gay Sydney (I didn't start going by Sid until highschool so),I’m glad you cut your hair off, and I actually want to cut it again. I know you cut it because you were experimenting with gender stuff, which I’m also glad you did. You can stop being so edgy and a weeb? Also stop being so into yaoi it’s Really cringey to look back on (esp bc you wrote mpreg and I’m still not proud of it S M H). I don't really remember Middle School and I’m glad because you were in your scene phase and you tried way too hard, eventually became a compulsive liar and just manipulative overall.I’m a lot gayer and more comfortable now than you are, so try not to be so fake-depressed because the real thing will hit you in a few years and yeah, you’ll want to die but its fine. Everything’s okay. This is supposed to be 200 words but i dont give a shit so heres this.Your more gay, and less uptight self, Sid

pastel: would you describe yourself as more punk or pastel?Oh god, punk, but tired

tattoos: how do you feel about tattoos and piercings? explain.I love tattoos and want to be covered in them, and I love piercings and want love them

piercings: do you wear a lot of makeup? why/why not?idk why this is under piercings but okI do! but I also dont! I dont wear makeup 85% of the time but I have so much makeup and I love to put it on :’)

bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way.Y’all.... Fall out boy has literally been there for me through all my years and have been the band I go back and listen to because I didnt share their music with anyone, and It makes me feel like I can go back to before life was so hard

messy bun: the world is listening. pick one sentence you would tell them.“Who gives a shit, my dude” 

cry baby: list the concerts you have been to and talk about how they make you feel.Jonas brothers (lmao)- I dont talk to the people I went with, my first concert, I didnt even plan to go lolFall Out Boy- Literally one of the best nights of my life and I got to spend it with my cousin and I’m so gladTwenty One Pilots- Though i dont really like them anymore, I became better friends with Maizie, who has literally had my heart for so long and I love her so much. I love both her and Jacob and wish I kept up better contact with them

grunge: who in the world would you most like to receive a letter from and what would you want it to say????????????? idk 

space: do you have a desk/workspace and how is it organised/not organised?My desk has: a makeup mirror, some cake, a lamp, pill bottles and anime figures. Its unorganized bc I dont work there

white bed sheets: what is your night time routine?Lay down, turn on MBMBAM, and then play all of the puzzle games I have until I’m out of lives before going to sleep l m a o

old books: what’s one thing you don’t want your parents to know?I went to some guys house one time and he tried to get me to do coke (I didnt do it dont worry)

beaches: if you had to dye your hair how would you dye/style it and why?MY HAIR IS BRIGHT YELLOW RN I WANT IT TO BE CURLY THO

eyes: pick five people to go on an excursion with you. who would you pick and where would you go/what would you do?Cain, Ally, Maizie, Jacob and Julia probably. We could go somewhere spooky

11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them.To be happy-Idk im not as happy as I want to beTo be wanted- I have a lot of problems with self worth so To be happy w my appearance- Ive been overweight my whole life and I’ve always felt ugly lmao

painting: what is the best halloween costume you have ever put together? if none, make one up.Oh god I have no idea bc I usually just do makeup and go 

lightning: what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while drunk or high?Drunk text people how sad I am

thunder: what’s one thing you would never do for one million dollars?im not sure tbh

storms: you on only listen to one song for the rest of your life, or only see one person for the rest of your life. which and why?only see one person? Cain probably only bc we get along so well even tho we get on each others nerves lmao

love: have you ever fallen in love? describe what it feels like to realise you’re in love.BRO okay yeah I have, it ended BADLY and a lot of people know the story. Of both the platonic and not. idk tho, its a good feeling to know someone is there for you no matter what

clouds: if you’re a boy, would you ever rock black nail polish? if you’re a girl, would you ever rock really really short hair?yeah, I LOOK like a 12 year old boy but its fine lmao

coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone?Iced coffee, 6 pumps of simple syrup and half and half. Green tea smoothie or frap OR salted caramel hot chocolate. My orders are pretty normal so 

marble: what is the most important thing to you in your life right now?God, my friends. They’ve helped me so much and I could not be more thankful because I’m going through such a hard time

[tumblunni]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa tfw u have another game idea AGAIN i think my brain hollowed itself out for more idea space at the expense of everything else like ability to actually create my ideas or ability to remember to eat :P

this kinda isnt a NEW idea, its just something floating around in my brain that ive now got more of a concrete idea for, i guess? playing Oxygen Not Included reminded me of it and made me feel maybe people would actually be interested in it, yknow? and its probably not something i could ACTUALLY make, cos it’d require like.. a lot of my own programming. not really easy to just make in a helpful gamemaker enginey thing like rpgmaker. tho it is an rpg... kinda...?? ehhhh im not feeling very good today, sorry my writing is... bad

ANYWAY WHAT WAS I SAYING

Well the idea I has was for kind of a roguelike tower climbing rpg, like Azure Dreams or Persona 3 The premise would be that there’s a mysterious underground civilization, trapped for generations with no memory of the surface world. Between them and sunlight is this potentially-infinate magical labyrinth that nobody has managed to make it through. (At least as far as anyone knows. Everyone wants to believe that friends who dissappeared in the labyrinth actually made it to the other side, rather than.. well.. the other side.) So the game would be about tackling this labyrinth in multiple short sessions. My favourite genre: roguelikes that actually have some form of progression in them! Even though you’re dying a lot, you retain a small amount of what you gathered each time in the form of townbuilding progressyness and ~friendship routes~ and ~ETCETERA~!

But then after playing Oxygen Not Included I kinda have a burning desire to see a game that has the good bits of that and not the... Frustration. To say its a roguelike without progression is understating it, gahhhhhhhhhh! Roguelike sim game of 8 hour game sessions that get destroyed cos of one stupid mistake and you have to be all perfect and lucky and YOURE ALWAYS STARVING and gahhhhhhhhh THIS IS MEANT TO BE MY GAME IDEA NOT VENTING ABOUT THAT GAME Anyway I was thinking how it’d be really cool if a game like that actually DID have a sense of progression. And an actual end goal. Like.. if you were actually digging towards the surface! With periodic savepoints and characters that dont die so easily and have more personality to them and you get all attatched! I already got all attatched to my dumb sim characters and then just got really upset how they kept dying and the game seemed to not give a shit :P

But yeah its not like I can just completely copy that game, lol. Even if I wanted to, I dunno how to program a simulation type engine thing from scratch! So i was thinking like.. a regular roguelike randomized dungeon generator actually IS possible in Rpgmaker, so I dunno.. I could find a way to make that work with some kind of ‘you are actually creating the dungeon’ type thing. i really like the idea of being able to dig your own path through the thing and have it permenantly etched there forever. I was thinking it could be an awesome idea if in the postgame you could come back to the now-empty labyrinth after everyone’s escaped to the surface, and be able to walk through it and have a big ol nostalgia trip. One that’d be unique to every player! And like.. maybe even be able to see changes, like it being reclaimed by nature and flowers? And you could upload a dungeon seed for your own personal dungeon, so that other players could play it, and that could be the postgame replay value~!

game name ideas i guess Catacomb Crawl Boundless Down

and I was thinking the protagonists could be two kids and be a grumpy older sibling who’s a jerk to their well-meaning-but-immature lil sib, but loves them deep down, and has to learn a lesson about becoming a more responsible sib, and etc like.. yeah.. basically inspired by over the garden wall i didnt really like that show, and i felt bad about it cos everyone was telling me it was a masterpiece. alas! :P aaanyhoo they’re not very developed yet, except older sib being a bit of a comical greedy coward type of person and lil sib actually being quite wise but always underestimated. Like, they have more common sense than their big sib even though they are a lil naive sometimes cos theyre so optimistic. Both sibs get each other into trouble pretty often, but they balance out perfectly to save each other each time! And lil sib is kind of a pushover who just obeys big sib unquestionably and can never stick up for themself when big sib is being all ‘ugh ur so immature im totally better'. They’re just like... the sort of person who’s so scared of their friends leaving them that they let anyone hurt them as much as they want as long as they stay. Very relateable to Bunni! Also they sorta try and pretend to be the dumb sidekick and class clown. Cos again theyre worried if they disagree or try and stand out too much then their sibling will hate them. Quite often their ‘dumb mistakes’ are actually the older sib’s fault, and they’re stuck like ‘AAAA I CANT TELL THEM TO STOP COS ITD BE OUT OF CHARACTER. I NEED TO BE THE CUTE BABY.’ And its all super complicated cos older sib acts like they resent them for never growing up too, its like.. cant ever win. This whole thing has kinda turned them into an anxious mess deep down. part of big sib’s whole redemption arc would involve them having to realise that their actions arent harmless, and treating such a young child this way actually has a permenant effect. And like... big sib doesnt know how to take care of little sib on their own because they’re immature themself! Being able to admit that instead of trying so hard to be all fake ultra mature and infallible, thats another big character arc. As well as aknowledging that lil sib is indeed growing up and becoming someone intelligent and independant. And realizing that the reason they keep putting them down is so they can try and deny that, and the reason they’re denying it because theyre JEALOUS! Jealous that little sib might have their emotions more alltogether than them, scared that their emotionless facade of perfect big sibness will be broken, and scared that without that they’ll have nothing left. Need to become more comfortable with trusting and relying on your lil sib, need to actually talk to them about this stuff, yo! Ideally I’m gonna try and write it in a way that doesnt make big sib seem like a completely hateable villain. Their backstory is gonna involve being from not exactly the nicest family, and both struggling to escape what they’ve been shaped into. And trying to learn how to take care of each other as a real family, when they have no real frame of reference for what real love looks like. And also climbing a bigass tower to save humanity from being entombed underground, but that’s comparatively easy, lol! But yeah the idea is that big sib kinda absorbed more of their bad parents’s ideals, and like... they love their sibling so utterly and deeply because they just did not know what family love felt like until they came along. And it really REALLY hurts them whenever they realise they’ve been subconciously being neglectful or hateful towards the lil fella, but theyre so distracted by like.. the greed of being free now. And doing anything and everything, drunk on that freedom! And not really being capable yet of caring about other people when they havent even learned how to care about themself. They keep being all decadent and delinquent and it seems like theyre egotistical but still deep down they HATE themself and this is all just like a ‘fake it til you make it’. And its so easy to get caught up and go too far to try and put on this facade, and they feel they cant really vent their real feelings to anyone. Cos they’re super cynical dont trust anyone except sibling loyalty like. Only way to survive! And like... cant talk about it with the sib either, because little kid wouldnt understand, and if they do then that means theyre not little anymore. They dont wanna ruin lil sib’s childish innocence cos like.. that innocence is their only reason to live. Innocent stupid bastion of family love, came into their life and gave them the courage to deal with those shitty parents gahhh! And part of them ‘knows’ that the only way to love anyone is to be deluded and innocent. You have to be too stupid to realise that the world is awful and everyone sucks and loving people just gets you hurt! And big sib is toooootally smart cos they know that life is meaningless. But they’re entertained by seeing a stupid person stupidly believe in optimism. Totally. Thats the only reason they wanna protect that innocence. Totally. sooooo basically imagine a very mentally ill mess of a preteen that’s curled up in the corner crying perpetually within their own mind, while on the outside they’re all HA HA I’M AMAZING, BITCHES And also imagine that bunni is able to write good enough to explain these damn characters aaaa im very tired im sorry

anyway summary: protagonist is a jerk, Character Development: The Game, you will cry for little sib whom is basically like penny from inspector gadget also I was thinking maybe this could be the one and only time I do the Amnesiac Protagonist Cliche Setup. eeeexcept not really?? well i mean I think it’d work cool if these characters were new to this setting, but I wouldnt actually do 100% amnesia thing I was thinking more like... they are the only two people who came from the outside world. And they just can’t remember how they got here, they wake up trapped in this place and everyone thinks theyre crazy for talking about being from somewhere aboveground. So you have an even more desperate motivation to escape compared to everyone else! I mean of course everyone wants to return to the surface, but its been so long that no-one remembers what it’s like, and so many attempts have failed that they’ve all given up. So you can act like a beacon of hope and lead the people even though you’re just a child. Like, this is about a morally bankrupt trash protagonist being dragged kicking and screaming into heroism, lol And of course we can have some good ‘ol mystery amnesia reveal type plot thingies! But without having to have a protagonist who’s COMPLETELY clueless, and a game beginning with no direction whatsoever. Its more like a ‘trapped in another world’ story except its the same world just a few thousand miles underground, lol. And revealing how exactly they got there and what they’ve forgotten is gonna be a plot, yes, but also there’s the bigger mystery of what on earth this doom labyrinth is and what caused these poor people to be trapped in it! And what they’ll even find when they finally reach the surface again, will it really be the sort of paradise they’re all hoping for? also many tears for sad dysfunctional tiny family of awkward childrens, ye also (hopefully) fun dungeon gameplays

so yeah bunni is tired and delirious and rambling Thoughts at you dunno if anyone was interested in any of this, but there you go!